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#i hated season eight so bad its the only season i’ve ever skipped episodes in bc it was so bad
dykejugheadjones · 17 days
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there is a special place in hell for season eight of supernatural
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give-grian-rights · 3 years
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HERMITCRAFT 8 LIVEBLOGGING
fifteen hermits worth of liveblogging. i am losing my mind. LONG POST AHEAD.
JOE HILLS (First HC8 Video)
Mumbo did the speech. he forgot everything he was supposed to say <3
Pearl and Gemini were just .in a pit . having stuff thrown onto them
Every Hermit is staying on the same continent !!
FIRST DEATHS VERY QUICKLY, Iron Golems took out Tango and Etho (maybe more?)
Joe seems to be the only one looting the chests
Evil Jevin !!
Evil Xisuma appearance on Jevin’s 60 second video!
Pearl has something planned for an “archeticual wonder” for a resupply area upon death?
Stress, Xisuma and Joe are capturing villagers and starting up a resupply debut.
Bdubs is killed by Cleo and is now OUT FOR BLOOD
First death counts- Etho, Tango, Bdubs, Cleo?
Cleo was killed by Keralis
Joe has now supplied Cleo with weapons and food . She left but not before saying “Time to kill BDubs again!”
Gemini was killed by Bdubs! They both died and are now at spawn.
Pearl was killed by Cleo
Pearl is planning a respawn inn !!
Cleo was killed by Iskall
Cleo was killed by Pearl
False, Stress, and Gemini team up??? AA!!! they brought a delivery of supplies to Joe <3
i wish i knew what was happening on that end .
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APPARENTLY XISUMA IS ONTO MAKING THE SECOND VILLAGER BREEDER ALREADY ??
Iskall is the first with Diamonds??
Breathe in that ash !
WAIT IS TANGOS EYES LIKE THAT RN BECAUSE HES TEAMED WITH KERALIS AND BDUBS ???
KERALIS, BDUBS, AND TANGO TRIED TO DO A SHAKEDOWN ON JOE. HE TRIED TO DROP LAVA, GOT HIMSELF ONTO TWO HEARTS BECAUSE HE PLACED IT ON HIMSELF, AND IS NOW SWIMMING OUT INTO THE SWAMP
the big eyed trio are now off to shake down Gemini
Joe fell in Lava in the Nether
Joe Death To Lava Two: Electric Boogaloo
Joe drowned trying to kill a glowsquid
WATCH JOE’S VIDEO OH MY GOD SEAN HILLS RECAP RAP??? MY BELOVED????? i am gonna be streaming this unironically later LIKE OH MY GOD THIS SLAPS. ALSO THE CREDITS AT TEH END IS HILARIOUS
Zedaph Episode Recap
Zed gave us a recap of the continent every Hermit will be living on !!
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Wouldn’t recommend Zedaph as the first video for the season, he skips the intro/speech but it’s Zedaph and hes making it fun!! Lots of nice editing :)
~SCIENCE TIME !~
Zedaph.. why is your starter base made out of concrete ?
There are no sheeps whatsoever on his mountain
Hes calling his lab an icecream sandwich..yeah i see it
Zed tried to make a portal underater...f
Scar died to a creeper </3
Zedaphs base is gonna be tracking how long hes there/someones loading the chunk!
XISUMA LIVE BLOGGING
A cool cinema scene of him becoming an axolotl!! <3
NOW I CAN SEE IT, GRIAN WAS THE FIRST DEATH!! Death by Iron Golem!!
XIsuma’s baseplans need over 45 THOUSAND BLOCKS TO BE PLACED
He’s also planning on making a shulkershell farm!!
i’m not gonna lie ! talking axolotl X is horrifying ! thanks !
Day one Villager Breeder... chaos.
Xisuma Derp! looked straight at a buncha wool and said how badly he needed beds and then walked away
THE GIRLS CAME OVER AND CONVINCED HIM HE NEEDS TO MOVE THE DESIGN OVER MY FIVE BLOCKS FOR SWAMP VILLAGERS..
THE GIRLS ARE JUST LAUGHING AT HIM AND HIS VILLAGER TROUBLES
day one and Xisuma has got his axolotl!!
Very pretty starterbase!!
XB’s
..I’m not gonna lie theres not much to say!! He’s very calm :) he says hes going into it without a plan, and htat last season was the only time he had any thought of what he was gonna do.
He made a real nice starter house and thats about it!
Cleo’s
Bdubs: “She ain’t gonna hurt me!! i’m invincible, babey!”
Cleo learnt that BDubs will never hurt her even if she deserves it . I am starting to realize why she kills him
SHE DECIDED SHES GONNA BE A PROPER CHAOS GREMLIN THIS SEASON...
AISDJASID CLEO GOT PAID TO KILL BDUBS?? HDUIAIHSI SCAR WHY
“Alright I found my mission for the season! Murder.”
Cleo, Mumbo, Grian, and Scar are all holed up in a cave together!
..Scar died from a skeleton !
Cleo has now split from Grian and Mumbo! Scar is missing in action
CLEO FOUND A GOAT
SHES KILLING THE GOAT???
she got a HORSE <3 and Joe gave her a saddle! I think her name is..Widget?
She LOVES the candles for shamboo n waterbottles and bits n bobs for her armorstands!!
Got her Armorstand stickgod book <3
Geminitay POV
NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT!!
She has a LOVELY voice!!
The pov of her in a hole . being surrrounded . is kinda hilarious
It might’ve been Etho who was first death?? I GENUIENLY CANNOT TELL BECAUSE OF EDITING
All the murder was just for heads!
Seriously her voice is. wow
WE LOVE A QUEEN WHO KNOWS HOW TO CRAFT A SHIELD WITHOUT USING THE GUIDE <3
False, Gemini, and Stress are on the great journey for MOSS !
Gem just blew their minds with the moss.
TANGO KERALIS AND BDUBS ARE BACK Keralis: “Show the diamonds show the diamonds show the diamonds!” Gem: “Keralis. This is not how you make friends.”
The boys suecessfully recieved a diamond each
Etho n Iskall are travelling together!! You dont see those two together often
Etho got a glowsquid head!!
Gem: “Etho doesn’t share, is what i’m learning..?”
Etho hooked her with a fishing rod and said she has to do what he said .
In order to get the diamonds, Tango, Keralis, and BDubs placed down a sign saying “Gem is Great!” and Gem used a glow inksack on it.
Etho: “So..What is this? Do you have an ego, or this a motivational thing, or..?” He said, while laughing
Iskall: “I think its really funny that you have set your base up in the middle of a birch forest.” Gem: “I love birch forests! Do you not like my birch forest? Iskall: “I love it, yeah.” Gem: “This is the best biome in the game, Iskall.” Iskall: “Mmmm..” Etho: “I’m pretty sure I heard Iskall talking earlier that like, of all the biomes in the game, there was one he hated more than anything. Gem: “Oh really? And what was that one?” Iskall: “..Taiga.” Gem: “Taiga.. That’s true, thats a good one, thats a good one.” Iskall: “Don’t like Taiga.” Gem: “Mhm.” Etho: “Which one do you hate more than anyone?” Iskall: “..Diorite fields. Thats a bad one.” Etho: “Yeah thats a bad one.” Gem: “Didn’t know about that one. Well make sure to avoid’em. Birch forests are really good.” Iskall: “I’m a big fan of birch forests.” Gem: “Yeah, me too, me too. I’m glad we’re on the same page :) This is so beautiful! All the white and- and the like zebra stripes! is fantastic.” Iskall: “I..Um.. Yes.”
OH SHE’S CANADIAN,, ETHO HAS A FRIEND /j
She’s still in college :O SHE’S A SCIENTIST?? SHES WORKING AT A HOSPITAL?? POG!!
She accidentally found an enchanted golden apple in a mineshaft!! she thinks its the first she ever found in survival!!
She has a cow, sheep, and a few crop farms set up!! Her starter house has INTERRIOR!
SHE CHANGED HER SKIN AND ITS SO PRETTY AND HAS OVERALL AND I LOVE IT!!
shes doing a cottage core inspired base!
WOAHH!!! SHE MADE HTE MOST GOREGOUS CUSTOM TREE I’VE EVER SEEN ??
BDUBS IS HERE and he is so so so impressed by the tree ?!
also hes carrying a clock.. :(
He’s here with a present!
HE BROUGHT BAMBOO!
she thinks its so funny that he stops conversations to sleep AOIDHFEAUI\
SCARS
WE GOT A TRANSITION SCENE!! the canonical reason for the bed in his old village always being occupied is because underneath it, was his wizard portal!
Bdubs: “It’s a new season! You’re the little guy now!”
They are all very amused by that ^
they’re rubbing the fleece of bdubs jacket .
Bdubs: “Have a nice rub :)” PLEASEAHSIOJDIUASLDHIASDA
His starter base is gonna be a wagon and he wants the end game to be a bioshock esque skyscraper!
he confused a horse for a player . flashback to iskall thinking mumbo was a mob
PEOPLE THINK MUMBO DOESNT HAVE PANTS ON.... </3
Scar, Mumbo, and Grian.. have NO braincells. at all. THey just placed a crafting table with a boat on top with a bed on top with a boat on top .
this is what BROS FOR LIFE looks like.
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BOATEM POLE !
SCAR IS STUCK UNDERGROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IRL AND HAS NO PICKAXE..
AND HE DIED TO A CREEPER .
it seems like Grian, Mumbo, and Scar are working together !!!! HOLY SHIT !!
THERES SO SO SO MANY FARMS???????
he died several times trying to catch a skeleton with a sword
FIRST CHEST MONSTER OF THE SEASON <3
SCAR JSUT TOLD BDUBS HE LOOKS LIKE OSCAR THE CROUCH... BDUBS CANNOT EVEN ARGUE
OH NO.... GRIAN WENT AFK IN A HOLE . WITHOUT A HELMET .
THEY PUT A  GLOWSQUID HEAD ON HIM
OH MY GOD MUMBO MADE A NOTEBLOCK SONG?? AJUDA
SCARS BUILTING IS SO SO SOOS GOREGOUS SERIOUSLY GO WATCH THE VIDEO OH MY GOD ITS HUGE
its a giant ass house boat wagon . its pulled by a llama . that killed him . so now its trapped, pulling hte agon, forever
Grian: “..Thats a very big house, for a very little hat.”
GRIANS SUPER SPECIAL EGG??
SCAR PUNCHED IT..
they really came out here . and killed the egg already.
Scar: “..I touched the thing”
TANGO POV
We see the three big eyed boys forming <3 they interrupted Tangos intro
THEY’RE BULLYING HIM ABOUT HAVING SMALL EYES AHIDUIASUHDWIS
HE TRIED TO CALL THE TRIO TEAM BUG EYE... THE OTHERS ARE VERY OFFENDED
they found an axolotl and Bdubs was TERRIFIED just screaming “WHAT IS THAT YELLOW THING?!”
BDUBS IS ATTACKING IT ???
okay nope Bdubs caught one and Tango lost it
Bdubs is naming his axolotl Idiot
AMAZING HOUSE. WHY IS TANGO SO GOOD AT BUILDING AND REDSTONE??
Impulse POV
MUMBO TRIED TO PLACE DOWN A BERRY BUSH TO HURT IMPULSE . HE FORGOT HOW BUSHES WORK..
I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT IMPULSE WAS IN THE BOATEM POLE
so it looks like those four are hteo nes who grouped up together
PEARL BROKE THE CONSTITUION SHE GOT IN THE WRONG BOAT SMH
THIS IS SEASON EIGHT! FIVE BROS !
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So its gonna be about five people in the same area!!
YOO!! Fantasy build for Impulse!!
G gave Impulse a spyglass, they had a fun moment of zooming in on eachothers face and complimenting eachother IHAUDIHAW
Grian and Impulse worked on an xp farm!
ASHDUIWAHISD GRIAN JUST LOGGED ON INFRONT OF HIM
a pillager stole his boat . not just any pillager . the one with a banner. </3
he has to live with Mumbo tuning a song .. </3 haha
Mumbo POV
it took fifteen seconds until Grian ran in during Mumbos intro
CONFIRMED? GRIAN WAS FIRST DEATH?
SECOND PERSON TO THINK MUMBOS PANTS ARE SKIN COLOR. GRIAN..
Grian: “Can you..Briefly explain why you’re just wearing a hawaiian shirt?” Mumbo: “Uh- what do you mean ‘just wearing a hawaiin shirt? I have shorts on as-well, dude”
FOLLOWED BY
Mumbo: “Can you explain why you’re wearing a red jumper?” Grian: “You know- you know i was born with this!”
MUMBO AND GRIAN STOLE THE BOAT LOOT FROM RENDOC
I THINK RENDOC JUST STOLE THE DIAMOND MUMBO THREW??
Grian: “Is that Scar?” Mumbo: “I can’t see past your giant waffle!”
DSFSDFJIOA they did an edit where they placed down a boat, both Mumbo and Grian got in, they made noises and then bopped up on top of the ravine they were in <3
THEY HAVE NO BRAINCELL THEY JUST PLACED DOWN A BENCH AND SAID “THIS IS THE MARK OF OUR VILLAGE!” and then placed a torch and a boat and a bed and aANOTHER BED..
..Mumbo is trying to be a pacifist this season!
Grian’s taunting him with beheaded things
And obviously part of being pacifist means he’s gonna be vegetarian in minecraft!
..he cannot use monster farms because pacifisim..
Mumbo was in the middle of reading the magical Timmy shack that Tango made (did i remember to mention that? who knows) and IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING TO THE PART ABOUT IF YOU REMOVE STUFF FROM THE CHEST, NOTHING WILL BE ADDED IN IT AGAIN. Grian opened the chest . Mumbo SHOUTED HIAUDHUW Grian jumped man
They renamed it “Cave of Do Not Enter” HIAUEDUH
Mumbo and Scar BOTH did not know- at least Mumbo didn’t, Scar forgot,  that podzol spawns from two-by-two spruce..
him and his guitar song to be played underneath his house.. it goes with the aesthetic i suppose
MAN HE NEEDS SO MUCH HAYBALES I FORGOT THATS NEEDED FOR THE TUNE HE WANTS
Mumbo: “What.. On Earth.. Scar, it’s meant to be a starterbase, buddy! What is this? This is many things, many many things, a starterbase is NOT one of them!”
HE LITERALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT THE DRAGON EGG TELEPORTS... WHEN YOU TOUCH IT...
BDUBS
nothing special we havent seen yet!! just him screaming about axolotls.
He was working in the Mesa in his intro, skipping the “speech” from Mumbo
He released Idiot the Axolotl and lost it .
Him SCREAMING “Gemini” is HILARIOUS
While Gemini gave away those three diamonds, Keralis got so excited he won a bet with Tango and Bdubs, that he gave back . two of the diamonds . and none of htem released until well after they left
Bdubs: “That’s why i have my mwoss skin!” PLEASE I LOVE THE WAY HE SAYS IT.. make the moss hood.. REAL..
it took me a while to figure out what his base is but i LOVE IT so so much!!!
Nothing much new to add !!
Stress pov
please i love her . very good !! False seems to have joined her sheerly because Stress sounded like she knew what she was doing. she does not.
False felt peerpressured and asked Stress for permission to fight her because everyone was killing eachother .
It ended up with Stress following False. they found a village!
ISKALL only saw him one other time today!!
JEVIN APPEARS AGAIN !
XISUMA FELL INTO HTE BREEDER AND IT WAS SO FUNN IUAHHYIAUSD
Ren: “Ya look goregous, Stress!” Stress: “Thanks! Don’t murder my dog!”
She’s so proud of herself for caving!! (with False n Gem
Iskall blew up!
..Iskall fell from a high place
Stress has a LOVELY ravine base!!
False
False wants to become pirates with Stress <3
gatekeep gaslight girlboss
BIG OL MUSHROOM HOUSE !!
it looks like a mushroom church and i LOVE IT.
Nothing new we didn’t see from Gem. She does want to come up with a banner design for her base, though!
Grian
..Mumbo just thought Grian had a purpose so decided to follow him <3
ALSO HIS INTRO, AS HE JOKED ABOUT IN THE OTHERS VIDEO, WAS, IN FACT, THE BOATEM POLE
Grian is SO PROUD of the fact taht they got good loot from a treasure map. Ren and Doc are NOT IMPRESSED
Grian: “Lets go, potato boy!”
Mumbo: “I don’t have to replace everything I break! Peace Love and Plants- are these plants..?” He says, mining amethyst
pants
he who controls the egg, controls the server... Grian.. you’re doing great sir
...He decided.. his goal.. is to make his OWN..caves and cliffs update... HELLO..?
Grian was the first one to kill the enderdragon, MAN. Speedrunning career WHEN? /j
Grian: “And now [Mumbo] is flexing on my bed!”
he might not have a base. but he has an egg.
It is now 2am. i cannot do this anymore. This will be continued.. tomorrow!
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ja-khajay · 3 years
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2020-2021 Animation Watch(ed)list
I haven’t posted about animation in a while that I remember, and I know a lot of my followers are into it as much as me so I decided to make a list of the animated movies and series I watched on the past year or so, coupled with my short, spoilerless take on them. Enjoy!
Organized by
Things I saw for the first time
Things I rewatched
Under a cut for the sake of your dashboards! PS: I have not added any images yet. If you are interested in knowing more about the visuals of these movies, I might make an old fashion ask-prompted imageset list.
Part One: Things I saw for the first time
The Bear’s Famous Invasion of Sicily
Movie, 2019, Italian/French
9/10, a delightful little movie with amazing visuals. It feels like an animated picture book.
One of those “plot is in the title” media! I had never heard of this before but was heavily recommended it by my family members, who all loved it! It’s a sweet story, nothing groundbreaking but the unique colorful visual style alone makes it worth it.
The Castle of Cagliostro
Movie, 1979, Japanese
10/10. Reminded me of all the books i loved reading as a child
I assume its because it’s so old and the art style and themes are so different that it gets little to no love compared to other Ghibli movies, which is a shame! It’s fun with an endearing cast and as always, great animation and music
Mushishi
Series, 2006, Japanese
10/10 three episodes in I knew it was going to be my favorite series ever
One of the few things I’ve seen I’ll describe as life-changing. It’s absolutely lovely but never toots its own horn about it. Humble, calming, emotional and surprisingly mature. It’s pretty impossible to binge due to how intense the experience is. I just want to walk in the forest now...
FMA: Brotherhood
Series, 2009, Japanese
6/10 Dissapointing adaptation of a classic story
I read the manga for this when I was in middle school and remembered loving it. The animated version does an ok job of presenting the characters and worldbuilding and has some nice action scenes but overall looks really damn cheap and just. Not very good. Seeing I already knew most of the plot I did not have the element of discovery that made me marvel so much reading the original. It’s still a nice series but I really recommend reading it instead.
Code Lyoko (s1+2)
Series, 2003, french
3/10. 1.5 being for the opening song alone
This show sucks ass if I hadn’t been watching this with my bestie I would have dropped it two episodes in. The art style is ugly the stories are always the same and the first season has a (later removed thank fucking god) LITERAL “erase any consequences” button as a plot device in every episode. If you watch it for one thing let it be the nostalgia factor of early 00s Vidya Game Plot
The Legend of Hei
Movie, 2019, Chinese
7/10. Impressive visuals and a poor story
I finally watched this, peer pressured by the load of gifsets on my dashboard! It’s a sweet movie with really impressive animation, sometimes a bit too flashy for my taste (the action sequences go so ham they become not very readable...) but the story was just ok? The setting is barely explained and you are instead bombarded with vague epicspeech about powers and stuff that made me fondly remember Kingdom Hearts lol but that asides it’s a really good time! I need to watch more Chinese movies the few I know are just delightfully off the shits in how they approach action and I love that
Hunter x Hunter
Series, 1999, Japanese
9/10. Superior to the recent one!
I first got introduced to the series via the 2011 one. Comparatively, the 99 series focuses way less on action and way more on the characters, which I love because that fits my personal preferences! Despite mediocre filler episodes and some weird slight pointless plot changes, what it changes from the original manga doesn’t have much of an impact on the characters. The animation quality isn’t always consistent including a huge art style change for an arc (???) but it’s overall pretty nice. The series really shines in the last arc it adapts.
Oban Star-racers
Series, 2006, Japanese/french
9/10 a lovely surprise
This series is completly obscure despite having been created by people famous for their other series (Cowboy Bebop, Code Lyoko that i can name) and it’s a crime! It’s a kids show but without being stupid about it who tells the story of an inter-planetary race. If you liked that one scene in the star wars prequels you know what I mean. It’s got surprisingly nice animation for a TV series, and some truly great character design. The art style is a bit unique in a not for everyone sense, but I didn’t mind it much. It’s also THE most offensively 2000s series i’ve seen in terms of visuals. y2k kids assemble
The Little Prince and the Eight-Headed Dragon
Movie, 1963, japanese
8/10. Classic fairytale format with incredible visuals
Watched this for the art style because I know it inspired Samurai Jack, and it delievered! I dont’ have much to say about this one, it’s a very simply film but it’s sweet. For my pirates out there if you want to find it in good quality with english subtitles it’s VERY hard to find. If you just want to see the looks of it, it’s on Youtube with portugese subs.
We now enter the Gobelins Shorts Zone....!
My Friend Who Glows In The Dark
10/10 makes me cry each time
Pure delight...great animation writing everything. A little short about death and friendship but not in the way you imagine!
Colza
9/10
Visual treat...homely and nice :) not far from a 10 but a 9 because nothing about it is that groundbreaking
Sundown
9/10
If you’ve ever been ten minutes from failing a group project because of a single dude you will REALLY enjoy this. Loved the colors and personality
T’as vendu mes rollers?
10/10
It’s SUCH a sweet little short I loved that one so much
Dix-huit kilomètres trois
10/10
Surprisingly well written dialog. Visuals are great but the humanity of the characters carries this to another level
Un diable dans la poche
9/10
Amazing visuals and the most tense/creepy of Gobelin shorts i’ve ever seen. Chilling
La bestia
8/10
I had some issues with the pacing. Interesting story and visuals choices but I was not fond of the art style
Goodbye Robin
5/10
Confusing but predictable. Both at once??? Yes!
Le retour des vagues
6/10
Cool animation stuff but felt pretty pointless
                                                                ***
Part Two: Things I rewatched
Ruben Brandt: Collector
Movie, 2018, Hungarian
10/10. Underrated as hell
Watched this fully blind for the first time in an animated festival and rewatched it with friends. It’s a crime I never see anyone talking about it given the amount of whining I see about the lack of both adult animation and 2D movies? This film is a unique love letter to art in the form of a weird mix of charming crime story and psychological horror with amazing visuals. I recommend watching it blind and also buying it to show appreciation for how nice it is!!! WATCH THIS MOVIE...
Mononoke
Series, 2007, Japanese
10/10 Visual/storytelling masterpiece in the weird shit departement
If you can stomach intense stuff watch this. The visuals are incredibly unique and beautiful and under the jewel tones and art direction high takes it’s a really cool horror series. My only obstacle to enjoying it the first time I saw it was how dense it is - simply put, it’s so...culturally Japanese it’s not very accessible to me who doesn’t know anything about the culture? Watching it for the second time helped understanding the stories more! 
Corto Maltese in Siberia
Movie, 2002, french
9/10 but really close to ten. A great adaptation!
I’m a huge fan of the original comic so I entered this a biiiittttt suspicious it would suck but it was a really pleasant surprise! It has all the wonder and charm of the original and the animation was surprisingly good for the little budget. If you’re not familiar with the series, it’s a sort of geopolitical action/adventure movie but with it’s own really poetic vibe to it. It’s almost impossible to find online but happens to be fully on YouTube so go ham I guess?
Redline
Movie, 2009, Japanese
10/10 cinema was invented for this, actually
Every review of this movie i’ve seen gives it five stars and starts by talking about how immensly stupid it is. I’m no different. It’s a masterpiece of escalating energy with the depth of a puddle and it fucking rules. It’s free on YouTube too so there really is no excuse to not watch it. Watched it for the first time on a huge cinema screen and despite this my second rewatch on my small laptop was as/even more enjoyable. If you watch this stoned with friends you might travel to another dimension
Spirited Away
Movie, 2001, Japan
10/10 deserves the love it gets
I watched this a single time as a kid and had little memory of it! I mean it’s Ghibli you know it’s going to be good as hell but this one rly shines in how colorful and detailed it is and in it’s world! It made me remember I had a huge crush on the dragonboy as a kid. I’m gay now
Kung-fu Panda (1&2)
Movie, Usa
10/10. KFP fucking rules
Honestly my favorite franchise of the whole disney/dreamworks/pixar hydra. It’s fun as hell, doesn’t skip a single beat and has amazing animation and character designs. If something is a good time I will not care if it’s deep or not and boy I fucking love these movies
Sinbad, Legend of the Seven Seas
Movie, 2003, Usa
5/10 Some great some really bad and overall generic
I tend to hate american cinema and this includes that era of animation I have no nostalgia for. Sinbad is in a weird place because I love adventure stories and the visuals of the movie absolutely deliver but it’s very predictable and TANKED by the addition of the female character, pushed in your face as “look we have woman!!!” despite her writing being misogynistic as hell lol. The evil goddess rules tho. This movie would have been a solid 9 if instead of the girl the two dudes had kissed
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mintypineapple · 3 years
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dw ask game 1-36 and 38-100 DON'T ANSWER NUMBER 37 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT CRYING
DaThanks, anon who is probably @truestoriesaboutme!
CHILDHOOD
1. Did you like DW as a child?
Depends. What do you consider a child? I saw Doctor Who for the first time when I was 16 or 17. Does that count? Let’s say that it does. I did enjoy it.
2. Your age at the time of the revival?
16.
3. First DW episode you ever saw?
An Unearthly Child. I wanted to watch it all in order! Still do! My first New Who episode was “Blink,” as forced upon me by @raisegrate. I did enjoy it.
4. Did you have any of the toys?
I didn’t at the time, but I do now. I have a couple of screwdrivers, a Fourth Doctor, an Ice Warrior, and not-quite-Legos of Doctors 1-11. (-WD)
5. Which DW character did you play on the playground?
N/A.
6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child?
N/A. Nothing scares me.
7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid?
N/A. I get all jokes/stories.
8. DW opinion that has changed since you were a kid?
That the only way to watch it was from the very beginning. I eventually gave in and watched New Who before finishing Classic Who.
9. Who introduced you to DW?
Pretty sure I heard about it initially on a forum I went to called The Douglas Adams Continuum. That’s when I started watching the First Doctor. Again, @raisegrate showed me my first New Who. Eventually, I started watching New Who in its entirety with @catastrofries and they started watching Classic Who with me for @rassilonwatchathon.
10. Did you like Sarah Jane Adventures as a child?
Didn’t even know it existed as a child. But I liked it as an adult.
Read more under the cut. There’s a lot!
DOCTOR
11. Who is your Doctor?
One. He’s the first I saw and I’ve went through some of his more than once, due to the podcast, so he has a special place in my heart.
12. Your favourite Doctor?
It varies depending on the day. I quite like Two, Eleven, and Twelve, though.
13. Least favourite Doctor?
Possibly 5 or 13? More because they don’t get a whole lot to do, than them being bad.
14. Best regeneration?
Technically speaking, there’s something about that first one that is still so good. Emotionally speaking, Two’s regeneration is terrifying and I quite like Twelve’s speech before regenerating.
15. Do you like “Doctor-Lite” episodes?
Yeah! They’re all pretty good! Even “Love and Monsters!” Yeah, I said it! (The end is bad, but the rest is good.)
16. Who is the most human Doctor?
One calls himself human a handful of times. Does that count? If not, definitely Five. He seems the most like a regular guy in a weird situation out of all of them.
17. Best multi-Doctor story?
The Day of the Doctor, for sure.
18. Best Doctor monologue?
Eleven’s speech to young Amy in “The Big Bang.” That episode is just solid all around.
19. What do you think TenToo/MetaCrisis Doctor is doing now?
He’s definitely fucked off somewhere and abandoned Rose. He runs a cat cafe that is definitely a front for something, but no one can quite figure out what.
20. Best Doctor/companion pairing?
One/Barbara, Two/Jamie, Three/Jo, Four/Leela, Five/Tegan, (haven’t seen enough of Six, any of Seven, and I honestly don’t remember the companion for Eight), Nine/Rose (that’s the only option!), Ten/Donna, Eleven/Amy-Rory, Twelve/Clara, Ruth/Thirteen.
COMPANIONS
21. Favourite companion?
Classic Who: This is hard. Jamie? Sarah Jane? Leela? New Who: Donna Noble.
22. Favourite secondary companion?
Not sure what this means exactly... My second favorite? If so, I gave three for favorite Classic Who, so one of them. New Who: Rory.
23. Least favourite companion?
Classic: Ben Jackson or Peri. New: Ryan.
24. Best TARDIS Team?
Classic: Two, Jamie, and Zoe. New: Eleven, Amy, and Rory.
25. Most underrated companion?
I love Steven Taylor. I feel like he doesn’t get mentioned enough.
26. Most overrated companion?
Probably gonna get some hate for this, but Romana II. She’s good and I like her, but I was expecting a lot more. I honestly prefer Romana I.
27. Favourite companion’s family?
I love Rory’s dad.
28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t?
Kamelion. AM I RIGHT? But seriously, Amelia Rumford from “The Stones of Blood.”
29. Favourite (canon or non-canon) DW universe relationship?
Amy/Rory.
30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now?
I hated Tegan when she first came on, but now I love her.
EPISODES
31. Favourite episode ever?
“Heaven Sent.”
32. Least favourite episode?
“Time-Flight” gave me a literal headache.
33. Which episodes do you skip?
NONE. Of course, I’ve not done any rewatches. YET.
34. Best two-parter?
“The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances” are the first New Who episodes that fully sold me on the show.
35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?
Give me the future and make it weird!
36. Episode that will always make you smile?
“The Myth Makers.”
37 HAS BEEN REDACTED.
38. Best run of episodes?
“Vincent and the Doctor” through “Day of the Moon” is pretty solid.
39. Best cliffhanger?
“Vengeance on Varos.” Hands fucking down.
40. Favourite Christmas special?
The answer to question 37. “A Christmas Carol.”
SERIES
41. Classic Who or New Who?
Yes please! (Though New Who will take this a little just because the pace is generally a lot better.)
42. Favourite series?
I’m not sure about Classic (I have a harder time thinking of them as different series), but New is definitely 5.
43. Least favourite series?
11.
44. Which series do you skip?
See 33.
45. Favourite series opening?
“The Eleventh Hour.” It’s just a lot of fun.
46. Favourite series finale?
“The Big Bang.” IT’S A GOOD SERIES.
47. Best series arc?
So I don’t sound repetitive and say Series 5 again, Clara’s arc in her last season is great.
48. Thoughts on series 11/12?
I find it largely boring and not well-written. Though there are some things I like! I love Ruth a bunch.
49. How much of Classic Who have you seen?
I’ve seen from “An Unearthly Child” to “The Two Doctors.” And the movie.
50. Who should have had another series?
Doctor: Nine. Or Eight. Or Ruth. Companion: Kamelion, but done better.
MONSTERS
51. Favourite monster/villain?
I love them Fuzzy Chicken Nuggets. (The Yeti.)
52. Most creative monster?
The Silence are an interesting concept.
53. Monster(s) that scares you most?
OAK AND QUILL from “Fury From the Deep.” Fuck those guys.
54. Monster you think is too easy to defeat?
I hate power level questions. Next.
55. Least favourite monster/villain?
I get really tired of the Daleks sometimes, y’all.
56. Monster you want to return?
Chumblies or quarks.
57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?
The writing. You can do great things with most of them. Even the ones you dislike. Like, I hate the farting aliens, but they are occasionally used well.
58. Daleks, Cybermen or Weeping Angels?
If I had to pick, I’d say... Cybermen. Daleks are very samey and loud. Weeping Angels get less interesting every time they are used. But there’s a human element to the Cybermen that, when utilized, can be very effective and unsettling.
59. Best Dalek story?
The one where Two rides around on ones he made nice.
60. Best one time villain/monster?
I don’t know what it is, but whatever it is in “Midnight.”
ADDITIONAL MATERIAL
61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures?
SJA is more consistent, but the highs of Torchwood are higher.
62. Favourite Torchwood Team member?
Owen. But like... not season one Owen.
63. Which Torchwood death made you saddest?
See 62.
64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?
I haven’t rewatched anything yet. But I would rewatch COE before MD.
65. Favourite SJA Team member?
Clyde.
66. Mr Smith or K-9?
Mr. Smith is way more interesting. He had a villain arc!
67. Maria or Rani?
Rani.
68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish?
Some. I’m doing them as Patreon bonus episodes for @rassilonwatchathon​. I haven’t done much though.
69. If you do, your favourite additional stories?
“The Chimes of Midnight.” I’ve listened to it twice.
70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)?
I do DW analysis for @rassilonwatchathon AND The Dipp. So yes. My fave is TARDIS Eruditorum, though.
I’LL ANSWER THE REST AT A LATER TIME. I MUST BE WITH MY PEOPLE NOW.
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iatheia · 4 years
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I’ve been watching a lot of Classic Doctor Who, and that really made me appreciate the history of the show. Some of it has been a hit, some of it has been a miss. It is all a bit dated, some of it is annoyingly a product of its time, and much of it is very poorly paced. Still, though, there are some episodes that are so fantastic, it is a joy to watch. The characters and the actors have really grown on me as well.
Along the way (sorry, season 19, I will come back to you soon), I got distracted with Big Finish stories, and tremendously enjoyed almost all of the stories I’ve heard. Stories with Eights Doctor are a particular highlight. Honestly, we’ve been robbed that he had so few on-screen appearances, Paul McGann provides such a deep and nuanced portrayal. The audios alone are enough to make him my third, possibly second favorite Doctor, and there is a lot of stiff competition near the top.
Exploring his adventures, I jumped over onto the War Master saga. Derek Jacobi is a phenomenal master. He has such a terrifying presence, just the way he breaks people apart mentally, to turn them into tools at his disposal, and then discard them after he is done, it gave me shivers. Delago, Simm, Dhawan are all spectacular in their own right, but the degree to which Jacobi owns the role, it’s indescribable.
After that emotional journey, I decided to, *sigh*, give Missy Big Finish arc a try.
I never had any sympathy for Moffat’s era. I had hopes for it, I was looking forward to it, but ever since the first episode of series 5, I got soured on it pretty quickly. A lot of his ideas didn’t connect with me at the best of times, and actively soured my enjoyment of the franchise at the worst of times, and boy was it frequently at its worst. And Missy... was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back all the way back in series 8, what made me retcon the entire Moffat era out of my memory.
Still, recently, engaging with Series 11 and 12 (and it is such a joy to have new Doctor Who I can wholeheartedly love again), I started engaging with the fandom. And it is undeniable that there are people for whom Moffat era worked. Absorbing what has happened by osmosis, reading their theories, their meta made me feel... a bit excited? Not enough to go back and actually watch what I skipped, mind, I don’t trust Moffat an inch. But, may be, just may be, some of his ideas could work in the hands of more skilled writers?
So, Big Finish. River. Missy. *siiiiiiiigh*
River is also a character who just doesn’t work for me. I haven’t listened to the Diary of River Song yet, but I wouldn’t call her appearance in the Doom Coalition, or the Ravenous to be a particularly high point of those arks. I mean, I suppose, if you have to include her, it was workable, but I none of what I heard sold me on her any more than absolutely necessary. 
But Missy just hurts. After listening to Only The Good, Master of Callous, and even Rage of the Time Lords, to Missy... How is this supposed to be the same character? I like the Master - they are seriously messed up, but very compelling character, and definitely a perfect foil for the Doctor. Obviously, some takes stand up more than others, and different actors bring different energies, but there is still supposed to be a core to the character that remains unaltered, the thing that makes the character work on the most fundamental level. And Missy just doesn’t even begin to have it. 
Take this, for comparison, the preview of Masterful volume, with 8 different Masters:
youtube
I have issues with some of them - namely Mark Gatiss (Can he just stop appearing in the franchise already? How many roles in it can he possibly want?), the “alternate universe/dimension Master”, he was kind of just meh. I can happily ignore him since he is technically not “our” Master. Unsure about Milo Parker, it’d be his debut, he seems a bit young for the role, but would be something to look forward to, seeing where he fits in. Others are a matter of taste. But Michelle Gomez? It’s bad enough that she has a different name, that instead of the name that gives off the commanding presence of the character, she is being infantilized for her femininity. But they didn’t even let her say The Line that everyone else does, just kind of tacked on at the end, disconnected from all of the rest of them. It’s plain insulting, that’s what it is. I get it, that is her character, as it was presented in the show, that’s how she has to be if she is to remain consistent, and Gomez probably gives her all with what she gets, but she just isn’t the Master. And there is only one person to blame for it.
So, yeesh, still hate Moffat, and everything he ever tried to do with the series with the rage of theta1 Ori C. There may be nuggets of good ideas, but it’s not enough to just build on them, they need to be entirely rewritten from scratch to make them work.
I admit, though, seeing some people complain that Chibnall is supposedly “retconning everything”, and they give example after example of things supposedly “not making sense” that come solely from seasons 5-10, and I do get a bit of a kick. Not only can I continue safely ignoring those seasons, now they also know how it feels.
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miraculouscontent · 5 years
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Have you written anything about what specifically you dislike about Gigantitan? I tried searching for it on my own, but Tumblr Is Not A Functioning Website
I haven’t talked about it much at the time of posting, so don’t worry, you didn’t miss anything.
“Gigantitan” is my least favorite episode of Miraculous from a strict watchability standpoint, being the only episode that I wanted to quit watching outright (and would’ve had I not been watching with someone else). There are episodes that have worse writing from a plot/character view, but “Gigantitan” is the only episode that I firmly believe has no value whatsoever.
[Lolliplot]
I have no problem with filler in concept. Filler can actually be very important to a show’s runtime, letting shows rake in some more views for the more high-budget episodes by filling in story gaps with fun little snippets about nothing.
But this episode isn’t fun. It’s just nothing.
Let’s start with what this episode actually offers for future plot points. Firstly, it confirms JARM (Juleka, Alix, Rose, and Mylene) being already aware of the fact that Marinette has a crush on Adrien.
We didn’t need to know this. Everyone could’ve guessed that anyone in the class already knew. If I’d skipped this episode completely and seen “Frozer”, I wouldn’t have batted an eye at JARM already knowing and making suggestions about what Marinette should do about Adrien.
The other thing this episode does is show that an akuma can switch targets, which happens later in “Zombizou” anyway. Not only that, but I don’t know how genuine this moment even is, because it’s just a “comedic” ploy to get a reaction out of Hawk Moth. I can see the result in two ways: either this is relevant because this is going to happen later (actually making this episode pointless because it’s going to happen in a later episode) or this was a one-off and no one will ever know if it was a legitimate thing or a comedic detail.
It just leaves me confused.
Point being, I don’t want to hear brags from the writing staff about how this season has “no filler” because it’s a cheap way to generate hype when all they really did was sprinkle in crumbs of establishing plot into this particular episode. If one were to ask the question, “Why couldn’t it be established that they know about Marinette’s crush in a different episode?”, the only answer would’ve been, “Because this episode would’ve been filler otherwise.”
It’s lazy. Simple as that.
[Don’t Cry Me a River]
I don’t talk about myself often on my blog, but I’ll have to say a little bit to get my point across. See, some things I’ve never mentioned about myself before are that my ears are pretty sensitive, my eyes don’t like saturated colors, and I’m easily disgusted (not amused) by gross-out humor.
Already, my next problem with this episode is obvious.
I don’t like babies. I hate them, in fact. Don’t like looking at them, don’t like holding them, and every scream feels like sharp nails being jammed into my brain. They’re gross and loud and I have no maternal instincts whatsoever.
As a baby, August has no personality. He has no traits and his shtick is “he’s a baby.” That’s literally it. He cries, he screams, he’s easily distracted, and he’s completely unintelligent.
An akumatized person isn’t even supposed to be the same exact thing as the person they akumatize, but that’s exactly what Gigantitan is; August, but with powers.
And those colors blind me. The neon pink and green are hideous. One might say that it’s the idea because Hawk Moth akumatized a baby (and those akumatized might get to pick their looks), but that doesn’t change the facts that they didn’t have to akumatize a baby and that the design is still terrible to look at even if there’s a reason for it.
And the model is disgusting. I outright gagged at the scene with Adrien’s bodyguard and the saliva and just–EUGH, EW, GROSS!!
Once the timestamp hits the point where August turns into Gigantitan, it’s nothing by baby humor for eight straight minutes.
And Hawk Moth can’t just, y'know, release the akuma, because that would end the episode.
Hawk Moth’s even been shown to be able to torment his victims to some degree to get them to do what he wants but oh no we can’t have that because it’s a baby.
Personally, I would’ve drop kicked this obnoxious little menace into the Seine like a sack of rotten potatoes.
[Character Dos and Don'ts Except It’s Actually Just Don'ts]
No one has their head on straight in this episode. No one is safe from the “Gigantitan” go-with-what-the-script-says flu.
Alya setting up this huge elaborate plan instead of focusing on Marinette’s actual problems concerning Adrien.
Rose not understanding the flower naming theme despite being rarely shown as incompetent, which is also something no one does anything about because everyone’s so hooked on using codenames.
Adrien’s bodyguard calming down out of nowhere right when the akuma shows up.
Hawk Moth not just releasing the akuma and accepting that this was a bad idea.
Adrien brushing off all of Marinette’s stuttering despite this being a thing he should be concerned about by now and instead just being like “OKAY BYE YOU SEEM STABLE TODAY”
It’s all just set up so the episode goes exactly how the show wants it to and it drives me nuts.
Alya can’t be smart and realize that codenames aren’t a good idea (given Rose’s confusion) or the plan couldn’t mess up in “hilarious” ways.
Hawk Moth can’t do anything intelligent or the episode will just fall apart.
Even just the little things, like the fact that Alix brushes off Marinette’s fear that the boys know about her crush as “nah of course not because they’re boys.” That annoys me because I don’t like the suggestion that the boys are oblivious about love just because they’re boys. This escalates further in “Glaciator” with Ivan and I’m constantly frustrated about it because there’s already a logical, actually sensible reason for JARM to know and none of the boys to: them being closer friends with Marinette and thus seeing more of her than the boys do. I don’t mind specific characters gender-stereotyping, but not when it’s the show itself doing it and imprinting that on the characters themselves to make it true.
On another note, Adrien’s bodyguard is also extra infuriating because he has to get over his rage immediately or he’d be akumatized instead of the baby, which would’ve been actually fun. I’ve said it before, but one of the worst sins an episode can commit is presenting a more fun and/or interesting idea than what they actually go with.
Heck. Adrien’s bodyguard in general is pretty inconsistent. He gets upset about everything going wrong for him, then calms down almost instantly. You’d think the latter is because he sees Adrien, but when Marinette’s talking to him, Adrien’s bodyguard starts honking rudely at them instead of letting Adrien finish a freaking conversation. This is why I hate this guy so much; he’s so inconsistent and constantly swaps between caring about Adrien’s desires and just being irritating.
And, oh boy, that ending scene. I already complained about it in “Treatment of Marinette (Season 2)”, but it drives me up a wall.
Marinette stuttering was not her fault. It was the writing’s. It’s so blatantly obvious, especially on Marinette’s second attempt where she rejects riding home with Adrien.
Yet, the episode still has her friends get annoyed with her. There just comes a point where things stop being Marinette’s fault and start being the writers tripping her up and tugging at her pigtails because “No, bad Marinette, you’re not allowed to make progress even if it’s completely in character for you at this point.”
Marinette goes through this whole plan (and I frankly don’t care if the intention was to get Adrien’s bodyguard in trouble because screw him, honestly), even stopping at one point and almost ruining everything because she wanted to help a baby, and for what?
Nothing. Marinette embarrassed herself in front of her friends, embarrassed herself in front of Adrien, and she gets teased.
I don’t have to wonder why Marinette is constantly fumbling and afraid of screwing up, because her friends and others are always teasing her for being clumsy/stuttering/etc. Alya teases her at the end and Marinette looks so embarrassed at what she’d said, but then the end card just pops up as if we’re supposed to forget about Marinette’s issues and anxiety. They go completely unaddressed and this episode is the worst example I can think of when imagining episodes that try to brush off Marinette’s problems as “you just gotta get it right this time.”
And of course, Alix makes a comment about how Marinette knowing Adrien’s schedule is “creepy.” Like, ‘k, cool, so if she does believe that, what is she gonna do about it? Confront her? Just accept it because she’s her friend and saying anything would’ve forced this episode to not happen?
The is one of the few times Marinette’s schedule (that she has only ever used for purposes of confessing/taking a confession back/tracking down Adrien for crucial reasons) has been brought up, but the show doesn’t want to dwell on it. The show doesn’t seem to want anyone its audience to think about, but it still wants to crack jokes at Marinette’s expense.
And instead of addressing Marinette’s core issues, all five of her friends just waffle around them. If this was actually fun, I probably wouldn’t mind, but with this being the unpleasant experience that it is, I feel like the glaring flaws are constantly being shoved in my face.
[Predictakillity]
This is probably the fourth-ish time I’ve said this in my blog’s lifespan, but one way to send my interest into a downward spiral is when I can predict an episode. There are exceptions, like when I see a scene or hear a particular line and go “Yes! This is probably leading up to [x]”, but most of the time, it’s negative.
And, from start to finish, I could predict this episode. After every scene that happened, I could predict what was going to happen next.
The second I saw this elaborate plan, I knew it wasn’t going to work. Even more insulting was when they threw the fantasy sequence in, because that made it even more obvious. After all, why would they show us what’s going to happen later in the episode instead of building suspense and then having us see the happy moment when it’s actually real?
Not only that, but the fantasy sequence is doubly terrible because it was some top-tier Adrienette and it’s fake. It just brings down the next Adrienette scene that follows it in whatever future episode because now they have to beat “having ice cream together” or it becomes underwhelming.
And that’s exactly what it did, because “Glaciator” was the next episode with Adrienette in it and it had the gall to set up the exact same premise without even letting them have ice cream together. It tore me up too because I knew that’s what they’d do; I knew they weren’t going to show the audience what they wanted to see because the fantasy sequence in “Gigantitan” already showed it. I wanted to be wrong and I wasn’t.
Back to “Gigantitan” itself, most of the jokes and dialog are so drawn out that it felt impossible to not know where things were going to go. They hold on jokes for way too long and everything is so in your face that things become obvious.
The second Rose started messing up the codenames, I knew she was going to be a weak link in the plan.
The moment Juleka got stuck, I knew most of them were going to have to swap jobs and be stuck doing something they weren’t good at.
The instant August appeared on screen (with spoken dialog from the mom, no less), I immediately pointed and said, “That’s who’s getting akumatized.” No amount of Adrien’s bodyguard getting annoyed fooled me because I knew it would be a red herring.
At the very first mention of August wanting a lollipop, I knew that it was going to be important to take him down when he was akumatized.
When the akuma went into August’s bracelet, I knew Hawk Moth would just run with it and wouldn’t give it up.
Even with the lucky charm, which is typically one of my favorite moments in episodes because Ladybug always gets stuck with the most random stuff, I knew what it was for before Ladybug’s Lucky Vision even went off.
And at the final moments of the episode, where Marinette wanted to just get straight to the point, I knew; I knew she wasn’t going to be able to do it. I knew this episode wasn’t going to let her have her moment. I knew her friends would get irritated with her. I knew the writing would just brush it off.
When Marinette’s friends kept asking, “Is she going to do it?”, I was pleading for them to just be quiet because it made the outcome so obvious. Everything’s obvious. When I realized that August was the next akuma victim, I knew that this episode would be nothing but baby humor and gross-out.
I hated that I knew. I didn’t want to know. With every passing minute, I kept begging–hoping–that the episode would throw me some sort of twist.
One wrench in the predictability. One instance where something wasn’t what I expected. One nanosecond where all the characters just looked at each other and went, “Hey, maybe everything that’s going on right now is actually really contrived?”
I got nothing. Once the episode was over, I got into a three hour conversation on why it was the worst thing I’d seen out of Miraculous from an enjoyability standpoint.
And every time Gigantitan shows up as an akuma again, I feel all that annoyance come right back. A full 26 episodes haven’t even passed yet since his episode and Gigantitan has shown up three times.
I hate this episode so much. I hate it because it’s a combination of nearly everything I could hate in an episode.
Character destruction.
Gross-out.
Babies.
Obviousness.
Predictability.
And worst of all, the promise–the set-up–of progress that the protagonist deserves but doesn’t get in the end despite all the garbage they’ve been through and WILL go through.
I think back to this episode and I just find myself unbelievably frustrated. In a way, I feel like I should be glad about how pointless it is. After all, its pointlessness means that I have no reason to ever go back to it.
But also, it didn’t need to exist, and those 22 minutes could’ve been spent doing literally anything else that this season desperately needed.
Instead, it’s 22 minutes of nothing.
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impalaimagining · 7 years
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I’m Still Here
Below the cut is some stuff about my life. It’s partially my story, partially the reason things have been so not-positive on my blog lately, for which I apologize. It gets pretty graphic so avoid this post if self harm, depression, cutting, PTSD, or suicide are triggers for you. Also this might not even fucking make sense because it’s 3 in the morning and I have no idea what I even wrote at this point. Good luck if you actually read this. It’s blabber.
Some of this, I’ve shared before, and some of it is new to you. This is why I am the person I am. This is why I’m still here.
November 2008. I was 13 years old. Outwardly, I was the girl who laughed at everything, the girl who people liked being around because I made them feel better about themselves. But I wasn’t happy. I had “no reason” to be unhappy, but even on good days, it was like a grey cloud poured down on me. I’d stay up too late and be too tired to function at school. One night, when I swore I would go to bed early, my brain had other ideas. Bad ideas. I walked downstairs from my attic bedroom and tiptoed past my parents room to the bathroom. I sat on the edge of the tub and told myself, “I’ll be okay. I can play it off as a cut from shaving.” And I did it. November 2008, I started hurting myself because I was convinced that physical pain was easier to handle than the gloomy, unemotional state I couldn’t describe to anyone. If I had scars, then maybe they’d realize my pain wasn’t just in my head.
December 2009. I started dating Andrew, a kid I had a crush on for years beforehand. He knew nothing of my past, nothing of my harmful ways or my self-destructive nature. He knew me as a bubbly, giggly girl. I was 14, and definitely not prepared for that relationship to go past a little high school fling. He lived over an hour away, and he had just gotten his driver’s license. I didn’t tell my parents we were dating, because I knew they’d try to convince me to get out of the relationship. My dad hated him. My mom was indifferent, but I was still their only daughter, so they both had that protectiveness about them when it came to anything regarding me. I ended up in love. Head over friggin heels in love with a guy with whom I had quite a history - and not a good one. We pushed past the shit that had kept us apart, and we made it work. I had love, I had someone who actually cared about me, but I still needed to feel the physical pain of self harm.
November 2010. I fought like hell for a friendship I’d lost two years earlier. I had my best friend back, and I was learning how to trust him again. I told him about my scars, told him what I’d been feeling, and he was the only one who knew. He never asked to see them, and he told me if he could, he’d take them away, undo everything he ever did to add to the way my heart was breaking. November 10, I cut myself for the last time. November 11 was the first day in almost two years exactly that I didn’t hold a razor to my thighs, the first day in almost two years that I didn’t bleed by my own hand, the first day my wounds weren’t self-inflicted, the first day I found myself looking for someone to run to. For the first time in a long time, I felt okay. 
I managed to keep my depression under control. I grew closer with a couple of friends, and my boyfriend was there every day, despite the fact that we lived in different states. I had people, I had a support system, whether or not they knew that’s what they were. 
August 13, 2015, just shy of two years ago. I include the day with this on, because it’s a date permanently etched into my mind as the worst day of my life. I’m living with the same guy from ‘09. We’re all but married at this point, just missing the legal documents. Things are good, except Pat, my best friend, the kid I grew up with, the one I looked up to as my older brother, just moved away. I’m sitting in a restaurant in Center City, Philadelphia, eating lunch between my college classes. I had just answered a text message from a friend, asking me if I could nanny for them that afternoon. I said sure, I could skip my class, so I emailed my professor and told him I couldn’t make it. Then my mom calls. I answer, and her voice sounded shaky, but not too far from normal. She asks if I’d been on facebook at all that morning, and I say no, I’ve been in class for the past four hours. She starts crying and trying to tell me something, but I can’t understand it. I finally make out what she;s saying. “Pat died.” My heart starts pounding in my chest, and I feel my stomach churning. I don’t remember what I did with my entire plate of food, but somehow I carried myself outside and walked half a block to my boyfriend’s office building. I hung up the phone with my mom and called my boyfriend. My voice is breaking and he can’t understand me, but he hears, “Can you come downstairs?” So he does. I tell him what happened, that Pat is dead. At this point, I have no specifics, just a post from his mom on facebook that says, “please remember him fondly.” I hop on a city bus and get to my apartment, in a blur. I missed my stop to get off, but luckily the next stop was only a block farther. I walk home, lay in bed, and don’t move until I pick up my phone and email every professor I have, telling them I won’t be in class for the rest of the week. I shut down. I didn’t talk to anyone about anything other than surface level bullshit. I couldn’t let anyone in because I couldn’t let them know how badly I was hurting, and fuck was I hurting.
August 21, 2015. I’m back at my parents’ house instead of my apartment. I booked an event about a month prior, so I’m baking 65 cupcakes in my mom’s kitchen. The next day was Pat’s funeral, so my mind is anywhere but these cupcakes. I finish them, I box them, and I deliver them. That’s it. I drive back to the house I grew up in, the house across the street from Pat’s, and I collapse. My body has had enough, and in reality, I probably had only slept for roughly eight broken hours over the course of the week. I pull out the letters Pat wrote me while he was deployed in Iraq with the United States Marine Corps. I read them. I laugh at his bad spelling and even worse handwriting. And then I cry because all I’ve got left of the man I adored for so long is sitting in my hands. I notice the way he signed the letters. “see/talk to you late” And then I decide. I take the letter to my tattoo artist and I have him put the words on my skin, Pat’s signature underneath them. We walked to Pat’s parents’ house that night to see if they needed help setting anything up for the service. It was taking place in their back yard under a tent. His mom caught a glimpse of my tattoo and made me show everyone. His dad wrapped me in the tightest hug and just kept me by his side for the rest of the night. I barely knew them, but I stayed. I stayed because their pain was my pain, infinite times over. I stayed because they needed every bit of love and support they could get. I stayed because we were all grieving. While I was there, I found out Pat had killed himself. It was the first I’d gotten details about his death, and fuck if it didn’t hurt worse hearing how it happened. Pat, my smiley, goofy, bear-hugging best friend had taken his own life. He struggled with depression, then he joined the Marines and went to Iraq in the middle of the worst of the war. He returned, and outwardly he was... fine. He was Pat, just with a harder exterior. He was the same lovable guy I’d known since I was seven. But apparently, he wasn’t. He fought depression, and after he returned from Iraq, PTSD played a huge part in his daily life. He lost his battle, and the world lost him.
August 22, 2015. I’ve never met Pat’s brother or sister. That changed at his funeral. It was strange meeting all the people I’d only ever heard stories about, and having them tell me they’d heard a lot about me too.
September 2015. Grieving sucks. It sucks even worse when the person you love and live with is grieving for a separate death. Andrew’s grandmother died three weeks after Pat. The atmosphere in our apartment was... unbearable. We were both just so down. I was grieving over the loss of Pat, and he was grieving the loss of his grandmother. Everyone grieves differently I heard. And yeah, that’s true, and that’s fine, but when the grieving feeling doesn’t go away... that’s when it turns into something I hadn’t dealt with in years. My depression was rearing its ugly head for the first time in close to five years. I needed an out. Then I remembered one of Pat’s friends asking me if I’d ever heard of Supernatural. Nope, I hadn’t. I looked on Netflix, and there were ten seasons. I binged. I binged hard. Supernatural was my escape from the fucked up reality that my life had become. If I was submerged in the world of Sam and Dean Winchester, I didn’t have to face what was going on around me. So, I drowned myself in Supernatural, and if I never came up for air, that was just fine with me.
I watched all ten seasons, but not in time to watch Season 11 while it aired on television. I missed my boys. Sam and Dean had become... my boys. I fell in love with fictional characters and their stories. After a few episodes, I looked more into the actors. Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. Hell, there went the rest of my life. I read about Jared’s campaign and looked into his battle with mental health. Sam Winchester was a hero, yeah, but Jared Padalecki was a living example that I could fight through everything. I could conquer this shit. 
August 2016. I went swimming at my friend’s house. The same friend who knew about my cutting. He saw my scars for the first time that day. The next day, I went and got my Always Keep Fighting tattoo (in Jared’s handwriting). A week later, I ended up here. I made a blog for Supernatural-related things, and I started dabbling in writing. I posted something, I gained a few followers. It continued to grow as I wrote and posted more. I began sharing my writing with other people who were just like me.
September 2, 2016. Disney World in Orlando, Florida, in front of Cinderella’s castle. My boyfriend is on his knee proposing to me. I say yes. I call my extended family and closest friends, tell them it finally happened after almost 7 years of being together. I post it on facebook, instagram, twitter, everywhere. I’m engaged. I cried myself to sleep that night because I didn’t - I couldn’t - call Pat. I’m in the happiest fucking place on earth crying like a baby because I just miss my best friend. His mom comments on my facebook post, saying something along the lines of, “If Pat were here, he’d be overjoyed for you. I think he put Andrew through enough tests to make sure he was good enough. Congrats.” Congrats. Congrats on being an emotional disaster the second day of your family vacation. 
July 2017. I’m engaged. I’m planning my wedding. I’m marrying the kid I started dating when I was 14 years old. I’ve been writing and posting on tumblr for close to a year. I made some friends, and holy shit. I found my place. I found people who are like me. We like the same things. We can relate to one another because we’ve all been there. We support each another, and we lift each other up. The way this fandom comes together when people need one another never ceases to amaze me. And now? We have a book. We have conventions. We have the actors. We have each other. We have a family. I know the SPN Family existed before I found my way into it. But I also know that I have never felt more connected to a group of people I’ve literally never met.
Depression still looms heavily over my head, and that grey cloud has become darker and darker within the past few weeks. Thoughts of self harm have crept back into my mind, but I’ll be damned if I throw away seven years of fighting every single day to keep that blade from my skin. Depression doesn’t own me, and you know how I know that? Because I’m still here. 
This post is about me, yeah, but it’s also about you. I love every single person who takes the time to read this, who takes the time to check up on me when I post something that... isn’t too cheery, who messages me or sends me an ask to remind me that it’s going to be okay. This post is for my friends who have become family. This post is for those of you who think you can’t fight one more day. I promise you, you can. Take it a second at a time, then a minute, then an hour, and eventually you’ll have gotten through another whole day of living. You can do this. Always Keep Fighting, my loves <3 
A shoutout to those who have especially had my back since I joined this crazy place: @spontaneousam @plaid-lover-bay25 @torn-and-frayed @cyrilconnelly @wayward-girl @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @ofloveandlonging @elliewinchesterr @the-thirteenthhour @atc74 @impala-dreamer (I’m sorry if I missed you and you feel like you belong on this list. It’s 3am and my brain is overwhelmed and my head hurts). Thank you all for being here. I love y’all <3 
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