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themultifandomgal · 1 year

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Finn Shelby- Hungry

This was requested and I absolutely loved this idea!

Finn and I married young, we were 18, but we were in love. 4 years after our wedding I found out I was pregnant. Both of us so excited to welcome a baby into our lives. Thankfully I barley had any morning sickness, however I'm so hungry, like all of the time. Today I ended up going to the nearby bakery to by cakes and biscuits to help subside my cravings.

It's now 9pm and I'm lying in bed with Finn, wrapped up in his arms. I sigh feeling hungry, even though Finn and I had our tea only an hour ago

"What are you thinking about love?" Finn asks rubbing his thumb over my tiny bump

"About how I could eat a whole fucking cow" I giggle. Just as I say that my stomach growls

"You hungry little one?" Finn asks looking at my tummy "shall I get you and mummy something to eat"

"It's ok. You've had a long day, go to sleep. I'll get myself..." I start to get out of bed but Finn pushes me back down gently

"I'll get you something to eat. You relax"

"Finn it's fine I...."

"Let me spoil and look after my wife" he leans down and kisses my lips sweetly

"Ok" I watch Finn practically jump out of bed and run out of the bedroom making me giggle. How did I get so lucky?

In no time at all Finn has reappeared with all of my craved foods, chocolate cake with strawberries and cream. My stomach growls again making Finn laugh

"Ok ok I'm coming" Finn hands me a the plates and he gets back into bed "I know you hate eating in bed but I'll change the sheets tomorrow" I give him his plate and we both tuck in

"I asked Polly if the hunger would go, like the sickness did, but she said it's only going to get worse. Even after I have the baby I'll be hungry because of feeding him or her. I'm gonna be huge"

"No you won't" I look at my husband with raised eyebrows "Esme never kept the baby weight and she ate like she had been starved"

"I guess but her cravings were healthy foods not cake and chocolates and biscuits"

"Even if you do put weight on I'll love you forever"

"Promise?" I pout

"Promise. Now get that cake down you so we can cuddle"

The following morning I wake up to an empty bed, but the smell of bacon immediately makes my mouth water. I get out of bed and wrap my gown around my body. My stomach growls as I descend the stair

"I know little one. I'm hungry as well" I rub my tummy and enter the kitchen

"Good morning, I thought I'd let you sleep in this morning, so I've cooked you some bacon and eggs"

"Thank you" I give Finn a smile and kiss his cheek "this one is feeling hungry, let me know when I woke up this morning"

"Well then. You best sit at the table and I'll bring over your food" I do as Finn says and I sit down at our kitchen table. He puts a plate down in front of me and once again my stomach growls

"Told you. The baby is a true Shelby, always gets what they want. I hope they look like you"

"I hope they have your heart, your kind smile"

"I can't wait for next 5 months to be over"

"Neither can I" Finn kisses my forehead then joins me, sitting opposite me with the same food on his plate. My life will soon be complete and I can't wait.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #finn shelby x y/n #finn shelby x reader #finn shelby #finn shelby imagine #finn shelby x oc

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bloodybrowneyedgeek · 10 months

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The sun feels the same as he always does, I just got back to Georgia, it’s 2pm on a Monday in mid July and I’m home for the summer, back in my old town, equipped with new friends and old bed sheets, I settle into my freshly tidied room; my leave of absence has brought my parents to use it for storage. Looking around, “August 2022” still written on my whiteboard calendar, the last time I was here.

Packed into the car, it’s Tuesday, in between bags and thousands of questions- my parents and I start the drive to Florida. Strawberry picking. Yearly family tradition. I hope they’re juicy, I need something truly tender in my life. With the view going from oak trees to palm, I check my phone, a few new messages from my girlfriend, it’s hot, I’m bothered, I'll respond later.

Early Wednesday morning we get to our families summer home, my little cousins have seemingly been waiting for hours, I guess they’ve missed me, I’ve missed them too. I head up to my older cousins room. We've been best friends since we were little, and right now we have a lot to catch up on.

Late Wednesday evening is when we have dinner and it’s around 9pm when the last plate is washed and the final remnants of sweet strawberry juice are scrubbed from my arms. I met my older cousin's best friend this afternoon, he joined in on the strawberry picking. I like his hair, reminds me of a guy I used to know.

The next morning I respond to my girlfriend's influx of messages, constant updates on her day. My cousin's best friend doesn’t talk a lot, I enjoy the quiet.

Friday night, I get to act my age, i’m freshly seventeen, coming out of my shell and ready for summer to really begin, I tag along with my older cousin to a party

The music’s loud, Florida rap from people I've never heard of but my cousin's best friend seems to know every word so I watch his lips, trying to learn. I'm offered a drink, I take it , and then I take two more. The house is crowded and my stomach’s turning, I know the air is fresher outside so I take a step out.

My phone rings in my pocket, and I know who it is because we haven’t talked all day, and the vibration feels different with guilt. I would answer but right now my cousins best friend is in front of me, asking if I’d wanna go down to the river, together, just him and I

I hesitate but my answer is yes. We get there. Stepping over empty snail shells, we pick smooth stones and have a skipping competition, he wins. I blame it on the booze but we’re both woozy.

He scoots closer, takes my hand, admiring my nails and my ring. my phones going off again. my palms are sweaty and suddenly i’m nauseatingly hot, he knows why, he doesn’t care. By now it’s late, almost pitch black except for the moonlight, the stray dogs are out, I hear their howling. I jump a little when the sound gets closer and he takes the opportunity to comfort me, it’s a normal thing in their neighborhood. They've got a “puppy problem”.

We talk a little more and he scoots closer, my palms get sweatier. He smells like strawberries. we kiss. and suddenly I’m falling- metaphorically, landing at the bottom of a pit with bloody scraped knees, that are caked with red dirt. I get up, slip out of my flats and walk through the grass onto the sidewalk. The grounds real hot for it to be so late. At some point we end up back at his. The sun is up and his bedroom walls are painted bright orange.

#poetry #writing #summers end

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deadontheinsidebut · 4 years

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Hi may I have established relationship!au or married!au - wholesome, fluffy and romantic domestic hcs of kuroo, bokuto and atsumu having a big dog with their s/o (their s/o loves big doggies) and the couple goes jogging/exercising + playing with their fur baby in the park? If it's possible can you assign german shepherd for kuroo and siberian husky for bokuto? I'll leave atsumu's dog breed to you bc I haven't thought of a specific one yet so.. Thank you sm! Hope my request is okay!

AHHHH tysm for the request anon🥺✨💗 this was so cute and I loved every second of it!!

married life! w/ Kuroo, Bokuto, and Atsumu ♡ ft. doggie

* Bokuto is a blanket hog and the poor boy doesn’t even know it

* He wakes up to you shivering and he’s immediately wrapping his juicy biceps around you to warm you up

* That honestly just ends up in a cuddle session with your Siberian Husky trying to wedge in between you two

* You two decided to name the puppo Bouquet (inspired by Bokay @janellion because ilysm)

* The only thing that gets you out of bed are the hunger pangs in your stomach

* You two have been taking couples’ cooking classes at a local restaurant so you two could have the best homemade meals

* And guess what? It’s bokuto’s turn to make breakfast

* He’s flipping eggs and frying the bacon like a pro and you’re admiring his defined back since the only thing he’s wearing is a “kiss the chef” apron

* Breakfast is served!

* Your fur baby is leaping onto Bokuto because he smells like bacon and the two are having a playful wrestling match

* You can’t help but laugh since they’re so similar. Hell they even LOOK alike

* Bokuto hits the gym with you a lot but lately, you two have been settling for the dog park in order for your puppo to have some fun

* It’s funny because while you’re throwing the ball, both Bokuto AND your dog are fetching it

* You cherish these moments a lot more ever since Bokuto decided to go pro and doesn’t have as much time to spend with his little family

* But he makes up for it by giving you little massages before bed and telling you all about his adventures with the team

* It also helps that he brings up his wifey to his team every. damn. time as well

* Hinata never gets tired of it though and actually encourages it

* when Bokuto is away on work trips with the team, he sends you boyfriend memes that say “me giving you all my love” or “don’t forget you’re so hot pls pin me down💗💓💞💘💖💝”

* the sound of the 6am alarm rings and the barking of your German Shepard blares through the peaceful morning

* Groggily, you and Kuroo kiss each other good morning before changing into workout clothes for your 6am jog

* The sound of bird chirping and the matching pace of your running keeps you motivated

* Not to mention the shared AirPod you each wear cuts off if you don’t keep pace so keep running sis

* Your dog Candy, short for Calcium(Ca) Neodymium(Nd) Yttrium(Y) because Kuroo is a chem nerd, is wagging his tongue as he races past his parents

* Kuroo has taught Candy how to growl at the men who ogle at you and together, they form the Y/N Protection Squad

* The run is worth it though as you two enjoy a shower together

* Kuroo is a little... frisky in the shower but this is supposed to be a fluff so I’ll leave it to your imagination 😌

* When you’re both done, he’s planting those sniffing kisses on your head because he just loves your fresh scent

* You two spend breakfast making pancake art and brewing dark coffee so that the entire house smells like home

* Just like Bokuto, he doesn’t get much time to spend with you outside of his job in the Japan Association of Volleyball so he makes it up to you with small gifts like roses and stuff bears when he comes home

* You take good care of Kuroo and make him special bento boxes that have cute little notes that are addressed to “my hubby”

* Nights are fair game though and you two have a designated 9pm movie night every week where you two can spill your worries and struggles

* you guys got a fluffy, cheerful, and lovable golden retriever

* Atsumu was confused at first because he wanted a BADASS dog and this one was wayyyy too soft on the eyes

* You snicker with Osamu as you say that his hair looks the exact same as your dog

* But over time, Atsumu falls in love with your fur baby and he’s already taught it all the tricks in the book

* When you guys go to the dog park, Atsumu is taking every chance he gets to brag about how well behaved his dog is compared to everyone else

* Walking your dog has become a bonding activity for the two of you

* He has a picture of you and the dog framed on the desk that’s on his side of the bed

* He kisses it every night before going to bed

* The dog sleeps at the foot of the bed and wakes you two up in the morning with kisses

* Atsumu has been wanting to knock you tf up for a while now LOL and you two constantly go shopping together just to look at baby clothes

* He’s also a great grocery shopper omg

* You two find happiest in even the littlest of things and get a boost of serotonin just from picking out what to cook for dinner

* Atsumu dresses your dog up for doggy pageants. And he WINS

* He’s very big on the whole cool dad/husband aesthetic so he’ll post pictures of you two doing skincare together or videos of your golden retriever giving a high five

* You guys have do yoga videos at home as a family but it usually ends in a cuddle session because your golden retriever keeps interrupting each pose

* To maintain a healthy relationship with Atsumu being on a pro team as well, you two have something called “Tea Time” where you cuddle and have tea while basically spilling the tea on the week’s latest gossip

* He’s the type of guy to text you at work after you send him your ootd to say “you look great and all, but I can’t wait to get home and take it off of you”

Rough Taglist:

@janellion @darkdinosaurpeanut @personality-still-downloading @shrimpyblog @herakosmos

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justinsdaysinthedark · 5 years

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Post # 6 - It is what it is

I'd be lying if I said I haven't spent the past half an hour with tears flowing from my eyes staring at a blank screen wondering how I'm going to get everything I've got floating in my head out. I suppose listening to Coldplay live in Argentina probably wasn't the best choice of music to set the mood. I'll work on that one in the future...

Where do I start? It's been a question I'm often asking myself at the start of these blog posts and it's certainly not the easiest one. What do you guys know? There's been so much happen since my last post on Thursday night.

Friday July 26th: I saw my doctors around lunchtime who came in quite concerned. Whilst they were confident my lymphoma was one called DLBCL (Diffuse Large B- Cell Lymphoma), some tests had come back with suspect results that it could be a more aggressive and harsh type of lymphoma called Burkitt's lymphoma and if confirmed, chemo was starting that night with no time to waste. There was also one marked in the middle (a cross of the two) called Burkitt's Like Lymphoma which is treated similarly to DLBCL. Whatever it was, I couldn't change it. I just wanted answers and if treatment needed to start, let's get it underway!

Adam, my incredible haematology doctor sent off another test of my gall bladder to finally get the confirmation I was after. It was urgent. He had to know. It was reassuring of Adam to state "Justin, we need to know what this is. Preliminary results are due back later this afternoon and that will hopefully rule out Burkitt's. if it is Burkitt's, we'll start chemo tonight and I'll be with you every step of the way - even if I have to stay back a few hours."

I know doctors earn a fair coin on a lazy day, but how many give you that much confidence that you and your health is important to them? I'm going to have it a guess and say not many but alas, I am so incredibly lucky with the team of doctors I have.

4:00pm and Adam strolls in the door heading straight for my room. My heart drops, similarly to what it had when Michael dropped the news I had lymphoma. "Good news. Preliminary results are back and we're confident it's not Burkitt's. You can't rule out anything in life, so there still is a small chance it could be. We're happy to wait for the final results on Monday, figure out a treatment plan from there and start Chemotherapy next week. Spend Saturday and Sunday on day leave and I'll see you next week."

This was news to my ears. In a time of what has been negative or no news, I could spend the weekend with family relatively freely and forget everything was happening for a few hours each day. My Uncle Bob and Aunty Denise were down from Tasmania to see me, as was my Aunty AJ and cousins from Bairnsdale so it all felt like it fit into place.

Friday night saw me considerably more relaxed with this news...that was until Collingwood started and it was the demolition it was. Slightly humorous side note, the nurse came in around 9pm for my nightly observations. Naturally, my heart rate was up a bit more than normal watching the football (118BPM - normally between 70-85BPM). This caused the nurse to call in the team of doctors who wanted to put me on an ECG machine for the night and monitor my heart. I assured them it was because Collingwood were on and if they gave me an hour, I'd be okay. It took some convincing, but it finally worked. Back they came an hour later and it had gone down - crisis averted.

Saturday afternoon and evening was wonderful. I went down to dads for dinner and was fortunate enough to spend some much needed time with family over a beautiful dinner and good laugh.

Sunday was much the same. I went home, mum did a fair chunk of washing for me as I spent it being me. Seeing Courtney, napping in my own bed and even headed over to Fountain Gate and got some much needed new clothes and other miscellaneous items - something that seems so simple but is such a luxury when you've spent the past 15 days in hospital.

Monday July 29th: They say the more you think positively, the more positive news you shall receive....or it goes something like that right? I woke up this morning the most upbeat and best I'd felt in weeks. I felt fine. I felt no pain, almost like I'd woken up from a shitty hotel! In all honesty, I felt like I'm abusing the system however I keep being quickly reminded how much I need to be here. Did I wake up so positive because I lived my old life for 16 hours over the weekend? Is it because I was hoping to hear a reasonably positive outcome with this lymphoma test? Probably a mix of both if I'm honest. But whatever it was, I was hopeful.

Adam came around at roughly 10:00am. Didn't really have much for me in terms of news but more of an outline of the day. If they hear the results of the test they were waiting on, they'd write me up a treatment plan ASAP and get chemo started this afternoon. At worst, I'd be starting it tomorrow (Tuesday). They just needed that definitive answer of what type of lymphoma I have - an answer I'd love more than anybody.

Either way, we agreed i'd need a PICC (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) line in which basically is a long-term cannula. It runs from the inside of my arm right up and around and stops basically just outside my heart. This is for easy access for the chemotherapy and even an easy exit for blood tests - something that's proven incredibly difficult to take from me over the past few days. Additionally, these lines can last up to six months verses the three days you get from a cannula. There were too many positives to say no to!

This wasn't scheduled for any time in particular, so 1:00pm came around and I was about to be taken to get the PICC line in.

Just as I was about to leave, Adam came in with a few words I'm all too familiar with. "Well, the pathology tests we were waiting on have come back inconclusive..."

Woah. Wait. What? How do tests of my gall bladder that was removed six days ago come back inconclusive? How does one of the main sources not have enough 'data' to tell them what sort of lymphoma I have? I was just stunned.

Adam continued "As a result, we can see some signs of Burkitt's lymphoma and that's what we're going to treat you for. You're young. You should be able to handle it and it's better to over treat you than under treat and be stuck where we are at the moment. It's an intense 16-day chemo treatment that will totally wipe out your red and white blood cells as well as your platelets. We foresee you being in here for another 3-5 weeks, depending on how well your body goes getting these levels back up to normal post this first treatment..."

I honestly say this but that's all I remember from this conversation. I was hoping I'd be heading home this week but looks like that definitely won't be happening. Today marks day 40 of the past 55 days in hospital (day 15 of this stint) and if I go off the longest suggested time expected, I have another 35 days to go. That honestly crushed me.

I got taken down to get my PICC line in - quite an easy process. Very similar to putting in a larger cannula, just a whole lot longer and uses local anaesthetic as well as being guided by an ultrasound and X-ray. I'm lucky enough to have two ports, which will hopefully speed up some of my medication and how much they can pump in. Does it feel weird? The only weird part was feeling it slide down past and near my heart - but that's okay now!

By the time I return, dad made his was in to try and help process the news. We get Adam in to once again explain the process. In layman's terms, I'll be starting an intense and high-dose 16-day chemotherapy program kicking off tomorrow (Tuesday) morning. Most of the time across the next 16 days, I'll be hooked up via IV drip getting whatever medication is required. I think I saw I have rest days on days 7 & 8 which I suppose will give me two days to look forward to. At the end of the day, it's something I'm not certain on and will be a day by day process and constant learning about what's going into my body to help fight with me.

I do have one request for you all. With my body not producing red or white blood cells or platelets over the next few weeks, I do request if you are planning to visit however are sick to stay away those extra few days. With my immune system going to be at the lowest it's been, I don't particularly want to pick up something I don't need. Additionally, as much as I'd love flowers, they're also banned due to the infection risk of the spores mixing with the chemotherapy and causing some dangerous damage from the inside.

At the end of the day, if you're not sure please message me and check as I'm not entirely sure myself about everything. I'm constantly learning as I'm going.

How am I feeling? I'm nervous. I'm nervous at the unknown. How will this affect me? How bad am I going to feel? Will I lose my hair? What will my energy levels be like? In advance, I do apologise if over the next few weeks I'm not myself. Truth be told, that's because I probably won't be.

In a way, i'm finally excited to start my treatment first thing tomorrow morning (after yet ANOTHER lumbar puncture). I was so envious of both people next to me getting their first rounds of chemo today. I know mine will be intense but I just can't wait.

I've learnt so much about cancer and chemotherapy over the past four days and I know there's so much more to learn. Today I learnt I'll be incredibly highly cytotoxic, which basically means all needles and anything used on me need to go in a separate bin just for me. Additionally, I'll have to get used to the good old double flush after the toilet to ensure all waste is disposed of. Mouth ulcers are a big issue with most chemo patients as well. I'll have to start brushing my teeth after every meal and taking a special mouthwash 3x daily to assist with keeping these under control. There's plenty of other little things, but they're two I least expected.

Everything really hit me last night....not like it did tonight though. I just had twenty minutes to reflect and it just became a sudden realisation. What I'm going through is real. It's not a 'joke' anymore. It's not something they're looking at as a potential cause. It is the cause. I have a legitimate medical issue and it's finally time to fight lymphoma. All well and good to be talking the talk like I have been - it's now time to walk the walk. This sits well with me. If I give somebody my word, I do whatever I can to get it achieved. Unfortunately for the lymphoma throughout my body I've given it my word and it's time to fight it. Round one begins tomorrow morning.

I leave tonight feeling a whole lot better than I did when I started tonight's post. I didn't learn from my words earlier as Coldplay live from Argentina is still playing however I'm in a much more comfortable mind space.

My best friend of a lazy 20 years, Dylan visited tonight with his partner, Jacqui. One phrase popped up more than most and they made me aware it was a common phrase coming out of my mouth.

"It is what it is."

I can't control what's happened to me as "it is what it is." What I can control from here though is how I fight lymphoma. Thanks for the visit tonight guys, I appreciated the two hours spent here in what's been an incredibly tough afternoon.

Much love.

Juzz xx

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itoshit · 3 years

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Time slowly went by, days turning to nights. And nights turning to days. That day, when I left Vee, I didn't think it would have been the last time I saw her. But she left. My men found her quickly of course, some even offered me to bring her back to me. But the whole point was to not be in contact anymore. I refused to see any picture of her, to see what she was up to. Ran's reports were enough for me. My heart was hurting me, especially when I learnt the existence of her friend, Darren. I was in the private room of one of our clubs, and Ran showed me a picture of them together. She seemed happy, healthy. And I was glad to be out of her life at that moment because honestly, I shattered everything and everyone that I touched.

It was not too long after I cut our strings. I remember that night vividly because that was my very first step to hell. Drinking to forget what I saw, I apparently passed out. Sanzu was the one bringing me back home. My place didn't look good anymore, but I didn't care. No one would stay here except me anyway. I wasn't even sleeping in my bed anymore, not that I was sleeping in the first place. But I couldn't do it. Too hard. Her scent lingered everywhere in my room, in her room. The small amount of sleep that I had was spent on my couch. Christmas went by too, and nothing happened. Her coat and the concert ticket were left untouched in my bedroom, in a random drawer. That evening, I stayed alone in my apartment, trying to imagine what it would have been with Vee around. We would have probably been drinking and laughing, making out on my couch. I'm sure she would have wanted me to buy a Christmas tree, and we would have decorated it together. And the night would have finished somewhere in my apartment, both naked and drowning in each other's touch.

Six months have passed. I tried so hard to forget her face with the many girls trying to get into my pants. I tried so, so hard. But I've never been able to touch someone else. Vee was like a drug, and I was experiencing it. But I was so content for her, she looked like she was finally balancing everything in her life, and she was probably grateful for that. She probably didn't want me back in her life, and I would never dare to enter hers anyway. She must felt relief after all that ended up.

I went back to the Mikey I was before meeting Vee, the cold; heartless man I used to be. My black hair was the only different thing from that past.

Every night I recalled our moment spent together, the only vestige of her was in mind.

Well, my vision seemed to be quite subjective and false, because on few occasions, the guys talked to me. Kakucho, Sanzu, Takeomi and Ran were the ones telling me how I changed, in a bad way. To them, I was more reckless. There were probably right, not that it mattered anyway.

Dante and La Cosa Nostra became close allies, the first trying his best to ease my heart. He presented me to his wife and children, and they were probably the ones who helped me getting through all that shit.

My life didn't make sense anymore. Without Vee by my side, I could finally say it, I was nothing. A dead man walking. While she looked so... full of life.

I saw Senju multiple times, and what I said to Vee was obviously completely false. I've never let myself be tempted with her flirt. The Yamaguchi-gumi stayed on the low for a while too, making their presence known from time to time.

They attacked one of our clubs once, and I almost died in the process. That's maybe what the guys reproached me when they said that I was reckless. Luckily though, Sanzu helped me. Got shot close to the heart, would have died if he didn't push me at the last minute.

The not so discreet scar that I had on my chest was a daily reminder that life was, even for me, something ephemeral.

Tonight was no different than the other nights. Would drown myself in work, files, alcohol and memories of Vee. That scared me because I was slowly starting to forget the sound of her voice.

Mikey.

Hm?

You can't keep doing that

Doing what?

You're not living, you're just... surviving. Amico mio, it's not good. Even Luka noticed your pain, shall I remind you he's only 8? You need to do something.

Look Dante, I appreciate your concern but I'm working right now. Did you call me to say something else?

Your girl has been-

She's not mine anymore. I lost her long ago.

... Venus is going outside tonight. Ran told me and as requested from you, my men keep an eye on her. She hasn't been outside since you stopped talking. You should come and-

Scoffing at him, I rolled my eyes, forehead pressed against my hand.

Dante, just... don't. She's clearly better off without me, and the Yamaguchi-gumi understood she wasn't someone who counted for -

But that was a lie! Manjiro. You could try again with her! We could finish them off, and you two could be happy together. It's just-

No we won't. They got the message when we blew their hideout up. No needs to start something big like this once again, especially when we all know the finality of it.

And what is if if you're so sure of yourself? You know what? I'm gonna bring her to you tonight. You're always staying at your office, expect her and I to be here.

... Venus doesn't need me. She realised she didn't miss me, and that I was only a cancer in her life. I need to go, don't call me again. Thank you for what you did back then.

Hanging up, I left my phone on my desk, leaving my office, but not before asking my executives to meet me in our meeting room.

What's up Mikey?

All sat around me, I looked at them first, before speaking.

Just, thanks for what you did for me.

Snorting, Sanzu stared at me, pupils dilated.

Why does it look like farewells though?

You can leave, you have your evening off. Find some pussy to fuck, get drunk, get high. Do what you want. I want you all to be here tomorrow before 8am.

Groaning, Sanzu stood up, and was the first to leave the room.

You okay?

Of course I am Ran.

Nodding, he patted my shoulder while Rindou simply smiled at me.

Koko had an eyebrow raised.

What's up with you Mikey?

Nothing. You can go Hajime.

Eh? First time you're saying my name. But alright, goodnight Mikey

Now alone with Mochizuku and Takeomi, I turned to them.

Guess I'll head to the strip club then.

Go ahead Kanji

Door closing, I felt Takeomi's eyes on me.

What?

What are you up to Mikey?

Nothing, just need a night away from work. Why aren't you leaving?

Raising his hands in defeat, Takeomi stood up, and as he was going to exit the meeting's room, he stilled.

Manjiro. Don't do anything stupid yeah?

No worries.

Eventually alone, I sat back on the chair, chin on my crossed hands. Would I regret what I was about to do? Probably not. Vee gave me hope, showing me some good time. But I wasn't destined to happiness. My place was in darkness, in hell.

An hour passed, and directing myself to my office, I checked the security cameras. It was 9pm, everyone left the building, as I requested beforehand.

Turning one last time to my office, I suddenly imagined Vee here, with me. Taking my gun off my hoster, I put it on my desk. Closing the door behind me, I went to the roof.

The last time that I've been here was when Sanzu surprised me, and when I said to him that if I happened to die, he would take the lead.

Guess nothing has changed since then.

Approaching my feet from the edge, I looked behind, a flash blinding me for a while. The good old days, when I was Toman's leader, Ken-chin by my side. Takemichi, Mitsuya, Chifuyu, the Kawata twins and the others were below, acclaiming me.

How were they doing now? Did they find happiness? I hope so. Vee crossed my mind too, leaving a warm feeling in my heart.

Throwing a glance at the concrete, I felt cold sweat on my forehead.

I'm sorry, Venus

-Mikey

TO EXPLAIN MYSELF - I wanted to keep the final scene from the manga, when Bonten Mikey is with Takemichi. It's not to destroy the good mood at all, but I do think Mikey is someone who's extremely tortured in his life (as everyone knows lmao) so in this case, where him and you were an item and he had strong feelings toward you, obviously it will destroy him more. Hopefully it's not a triggering subject for you, if it is, I'm sorry bby 😔

see now mod… *exhales*

Yeah, I don’t know about this, Dee.

We stood outside the bar, which from the outside, looked pack to capacity already. Apprehension consumed me. Darren noticed, taking my hand into his and squeezing it.

Do you wanna go home? he asked gently. We don’t have to go in if you don’t want to.

I shook my head. If I couldn’t do this, with my best friend no less, I probably wouldn’t be able to do any social event.

No, I’m fine. But we are leaving before 11.

He winked at me.

Fuck yeah we are.

We walked in together at that, arm in arm. Eyes flitted to us and then away when they realized we weren’t anybody of importance. A few lingered on me, recognizing me from the news maybe. I ignored them, allowing Darren to introduce me to his friends. He was right, they were nice. We shared a few drinks, me only having one beer to the others four. After Natalie, I just didn’t trust drinking anymore. Or people in general, always looking outside of people’s actions for their hidden motives.

We left at ten as promised. I shoved Darren and a couple of his friends into separate Ubers since they were way too drunk for me to even trust them driving. After I managed to get transportation for the final drunkard that I was with that night, I started walking toward my own car. But I noticed something. Somebody was following me. Clutching onto the pocketknife I started carrying ever since I got back home, I steeled myself with the thought of pulling it out and taking a life if needed be.

As the person neared, my grip on the hilt was knuckle-white and tight, with little to no chance of slipping off. When they touched me, I spun around fast, placing the knife right beneath their throat. I was smart enough to avoid streetlights.

Who the fuck are you? I snarled, pressing the knife closer with each word I spoke.

The man threw up his hands quickly, but made no move to disarm me. I’m with Dante of La Casa Nostra.

Who?

Me, somebody spoke from our left. I chanced a look and found a man sitting in the back of a heavily tinted jeep. My heart sunk. I learned a long time ago that tinted jeeps were the poster cars for criminal organization and gang leaders to move around in. My name is Dante, Venus, and I came to you requesting help.

Funny way of asking for it, I bit, throwing a look to the man who was following me. And besides, I don’t think I can help you.

It’s about Mikey.

I froze, unsure how to answer for a few seconds, then eventually came up with a, I don’t know a Mikey.

We were there with the Yamaguchis, Venus. La Casa Nostra was a big help in aiding Bonten in that victory. Our sniper was the one that saved your life. So technically, you owe me.

Could I even argue that? I had a feeling that even if I wanted to, there was only stalling I could do before he lost his patience and just forced me to do what he wanted. Powerful men weren’t used to being challenged, after all. Slowly, I placed my knife in my pocket, but always kept it ready to grab in case I had to run. I walked up to the Jeep and hopped in beside Dante, keeping my distance at the same time.

What do you want?

I wanted to get straight to the point, go home if possible.

It’s Mikey, he sighed, pinching his nose as if even the thought of the man pained him to talk about. He’s… not doing so well. Not sleeping, barely eating, wasting away.

Have you ever stopped to consider he was always like that?

It honestly sounded like he was behaving just as he was—

But that was before you met him, Venus.

I clenched my jaw, remembering how he had started eating and sleeping at my request, soon not even needing me to tell him to do either at all. A certain beach date flashed into my mind and I shook my head to rid myself of the memory. Dante observed my reaction, and I wanted to pinch myself for giving an observable one.

Either way, I’m worried, Venus. Mikey is a good guy, an extraordinary ally, but with the way things are looking…I don’t think he’s going to survive much longer to be any of both. Which is why I offered to take you to him as a last resort.

Without my consent?

With or without, he admitted with a laugh. I’m that desperate. He’s not well, Venus. Even my children are concerned.

I gnawed on my thumbnail.

Bringing me to him might not fix him. They might make things worse. For both of us, I wanted to say.

Or they might make them better, he argued.

You couldn’t possibly know that.

I’m willing to take that risk.

I couldn’t answer that. Few things could talk down a stubborn man. I wasn’t one of them.

You know, I really think you and Manjiro belong together. You’re both just too stubborn to see that.

I didn’t reply to that, either. I would’ve agreed once. Manjiro made sure I couldn’t.

We arrived to the building and I was astounded by how distinctly I remembered it despite being away from it from so long. My mind went on that nurse who helped me escape. I wondered if they fired her.

Dante hopped out of the car the same time I did, using a fancy keycard to gain access into the building. Walking through it, I realized I never took the time to appreciate how large the space was. We reached the room where Dante said he’d be— the meeting room.

Mikey, I’m here as promised, Dante announced and I held my breath. I hadn’t the slightest clue what to say when I saw him, or whether what I’d say would be the right thing. Probably not, considering I wanted to curse him like a dog.

I still had time to think of something though. When Dante opened the door, nobody was there.

Am I being pranked? I asked Dante whose eyebrows were furrowed.

That’s strange. He hasn’t checked out of the building at all today so he’s still in here.

I looked around for a bit, feeling something amiss, and then I found the window looking out over the city. Dante, is there any room in this place that has a better view than this one?

No, this is the highest floor in the building. No view comes close. Why do you ask?

They all had something in common. This room, Mikey’s house’s design, the hotels he booked, down to the dates he scheduled— there was one common denominator.

The view. I snapped my fingers. Mikey likes the views!

But there’s no better view than… the roof. He’s on the roof.

I wasted no time, bolting out of the door. The elevator stopped just to the meeting room floor. Only stairs could take you up to the roof. I sprinted up them by God’s grace, barely even winded by the time I opened the door.

Good thing too, because the sight of Mikey took my breath away. It was only his back, the same black hair I had seen him in the last time fluttering in the wind. What worried me most was not where he was standing, feet firmly planted on the ledge. What worried me most was how relaxed he was on the ledge, as if he wasn’t staring a certain death right in the face. A strong enough wind would send him right to it. I couldn’t witness that. My feet moved on their own, fueled by adrenaline. I had barely reached him when he started to push himself over the ledge, but I caught him in time, gripping my shirt between his fingers and snatching him back with all my might. He fell back easily, too startled by the fact somebody was there to catch him to brace himself. He landed right atop of me in a heap of limbs. My hands were trembling. It was as if I had just realized how close I was to missing that chance to grab him. Tears came into my eyes, but I didn’t know if they were from anger or from fear.

You idiot, I whispered harshly through sobs. You fucking idiot.

#tw suicide attempt #🗝; citizen #🗝; mikey #🗝; chronicles of vee: vol. 1 #now mod let me tell you how long i pondered this response #i sat and reflected okay.#in shock.#angst clearly is ur thing bc.#wow

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