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rongzhi · 6 months

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Hi! Love your TikTok translations, they help me learn so much. Sorry if you've answered this before already, but as a language student myself, I was just curious about how you got so good at Chinese - is it a native language for you, or what's your background in using/studying it? Thank you!

I think I answered this a long time ago (like 2021 maybe) so I will just tell it again. It's kind of a longwinded boring post that's very self-centric (😬) and also probably not going to have any helpful advice to the average language learner, so I'm going to put it under a read more!

Background

My family is Chinese so it's my heritage language. I did learn it before English as a baby but then forgot a lot of it. My parents speak Chinese at home but I always replied in English growing up. Part of this is because I have a twin sibling and because we spoke English at school, we also started speaking English to each other at home.

We went to Chinese school on Sundays growing up (this is like a community/cultural school; it included other courses like math, Chinese dance, art, pre-SATs (lol), etc, depending on who in the community was available to teach), but I didn't really pay attention so my Chinese was pretty shit for a long time—like broken conversational level shitty, although I have always had a strong comprehension ability. My dad's side is from Sichuan so I grew up understanding a bit of Sichuanese.

The beginning of my "studying"

I don't actually have much of a background studying Chinese in a formal setting. I took Chinese 101-103 in college as part of a language requirement (specifically chose to start with 101 so I could relearn basics, even though my teachers kept offering to place me in higher levels). I really credit my Chinese 101 prof who was also the college's calligraphy teacher for making us focus on brush stroke order and recognising characters and understanding semantic components, which is something other profs did not emphasise (they were more focused on building conversational skills).

Anyway, that was only my freshman year of college because I ended up changing majors and not having a language requirement anymore (boo). I continued studying a bit of Chinese in the intervening years, but I am not a very disciplined person when it comes to self-study, so much of it was just translating song lyrics for my own amusement. During this time, I also started watching some cdramas, but mostly just Chinese web shows, which maybe helped? (I don't think I was watching enough for it to really make a difference).

Fast forward a couple years to 2020 and I started watching more cdramas during lockdowns, including watching 成化十四年 (The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty), which I was super invested in for about two years (this used to be a fandom blog lol). Basically, hyperfixation led me to rapidly improve my Chinese; I started translating a few behind-the-scenes videos for fandom friends. In order to keep up with Chinese fans and gain access to more material about the show, I started venturing onto Chinese sites such as weibo, bilibili, and eventually, douyin, which I downloaded around October of 2020 (so this was 6 months into my increased interest into Chinese things). At first, I translated a couple of douyins to share with fandom friends as I had done with behind-the-scenes materials, but for whatever reason I felt like some of the videos I wanted to translate would just be annoying to spam into the chat... I couldn't figure out a way to connect them to the blorbos, but I still wanted to translate them, so I started posting them here on tumblr. That's how my douyin translations started out. This was the height of covid-19 related sinophobia, too, so at some point I started realising how important it was to continue translating douyins, and that motivated me to continue even beyond it just being a fun thing to do. On that topic, it was through this blog that I realised how poorly understood China and Chinese people are, specifically on this site. I feel like that has changed a lot, or maybe that's just a comment on insular online spaces, but I have to think not; since I started translating douyins, I've seen a noticeable decrease in sinophobic comments and messages (not that I don't still get them, but it's lessened), and I think that's also thanks in great part to other blogs on here that were posting/have started to post more content from China to help increase exposure to tumblr users.

Improving

In any case, in the beginning, I did a lot of translations mostly by ear rather than reading captions because my Chinese reading wasn't that good.

It's kind of slowly improved with time and repetitive reading, and over the last three years now, I've also gone through periods of taking notes and actively seeking out some vocab lists or grammar explanations... but it usually comes in the process of trying to translate something. My motivations in "studying" (it's more like "figuring out") Chinese is largely based on the simple desire to know what people are talking about... what they're joking about... what they're ranting about and roasting. Related: I also started reading fanfics in Chinese about a year ago. Some fics have been easier to read than others, but some of the best ones I've read were also the ones that challenged me the most, and which I had to take a lot of notes on while reading. I'll admit! There have been times where I just took a fic and dumped that sucker in google translate and have it read the Chinese to me, so I could just listen to it like a podfic. But even so, I would take notes, because I think my improvements in Chinese are heavily connected to my Chinese literacy.

Reading douyin comments and forums on douban or comment sections on bilibili has been one of the main ways that I've picked up on common phrases and characters. I often write things down but I do so more as a muscle memory practice, because I have never really been the sort of person who reads back notes (this was also how I studied in school, iirc). Branching out and translating things that are written in formal or non-colloquial styles is also a way I challenge myself from time to time, and I do like to look up the etymology of Chinese characters from time to time because it helps me pick up patterns of semantics and phonetic hints when I'm reading (this makes it easier to guess what a character might mean or sound like, even if you've never seen it before). Overall, translation has been the great learning tool for me. I think maybe it comes down to learning styles? I have always learned better from trying to teach others, and I feel like translation works a similar muscle in the mind; translation is about figuring out ways to efficiently communicate a message, and in order to do so, you must be able to grasp the essence of what it is you're relaying.

All this said... And to try and return to your original ask after all my usual Wawa rambling... I actually don't think my Chinese is that good, lol. In fact, there's probably people who follow this blog who are studying Chinese in a more conventional and methodical manner whose Chinese is objectively much better than mine 🤷🏻‍♂️ I mean, if you crunch the numbers, I have really only be self-"studying" for three years. Three years of what is really just vibe-based learning. There's a lot of vocab I still don't know (I mean my English vocab is pretty limited too, sooo.... 😭), a lot of areas that I can still improve on, and am improving on, and try to improve on... when the mood strikes. Again, I am not a very disciplined self-study type.

Maybe this will give any other Chinese diaspora hope, though. I feel like it's never too late for us to start learning. There is probably a seed or language foundation within you already which will make it easier for you to start, and then after that, I think it sort of comes down to finding what interests you and will keep you motivated.

Most of the stuff I talk about on here when it comes to culture or folk art or what have you, I did not know even five years ago! I learned about it because I was interested to find out more. (That's another reason I have to laugh when I get some of the asks I do in my inbox... The stuff I don't answer is dumbfounding at times. You translate a couple of funny videos and people think you're some kind of Tripadvisor cultural ambassador guy! I swear...)

The "study" resources I use regularly are the following:

Pleco

Zh-En browser extension

Yellowbridge (usually to check brush stroke order, since I have Pleco)

Baidu etymology pages / Chinese etymology dictionaries such as hanziyuan

#text #answered ask #about me

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rapunzelbro · 2 months

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Comforting Velvette as her S/O.

So tumblr broke, this request was vanished from my profile. So to the anon who requested I’m so sorry I hope you find this The prompts were “I don’t want to be alone right now” and another I forgot. Enjoy!

Masterlist Taglist

It would take forever to establish a relationship with Velvette let's be honest here.

She doesn't want anyone to see her in a vulnerable state, she doesn't want anyone thinking she is weak and needed a partner

That was until she met you, something about you was just different to her.

You were soft spoken, minded your own business but wouldn't stay quiet when someone said something that set you off.

Like to piss you off? Man you'd set whoever pissed you off, straight and they wouldn't speak, or argue with you again.

And your designs were amazing decent. Velvette rarely had to make any changes when it came to your sketches

And your stitch work? Fucking flawless compared to the others. Who just were you?

She would try to stalk you on social media to find out you had no account, or one she could find, with a little help from Vox she did eventually find it.

It was a completely anonymous account, with a rather decent following Like probably 10k?

Impressive but not compared to Velvette

Your account was hiding your identity by a random username that had no mention of you in the slightest, and no posts that involved photos of you. Just sketches, sheet music photos, and the occasional video of someone singing, which she assumed was you.

But what amused her more than anything, was seeing multiple sketches of her on your page.

You captured her beautifully, didn't make her look bad in any sort of way, it was so simple, but yet so beautiful.

Velvette definitely sereenshotted the sketeh

She never would have thought you admired her outside the work place. Let alone be a fucking singer too? What couldn't you do?

She'd call you into her office the next day and you'd be so fucking anxious that you fucked up somehow as you knocked on the door

"Yeah yeah come in"

You'd take a deep breath calming your nerves down before you went inside, closing the door behind you as you walked to her desk, she was still looking down at her phone

"You wanted to see me Miss?"

The second she heard your voice she looked up from her phone, placing it down and grabbing a piece of paper from the inside of her desk before placing it down

Shit

“Would you care to explain this?"

Your cheeks instantly flared red in embarrassment as you realized just what it was

The sketches of her that you drew

"I..I'm so sorry I promise it won't happen again I just well I-“

"Oh quit your yapping I'm not mad you idiot"

She instantly shuts you down slight irritation on her face, while confusion struck yours as you remained silent

"I'm promoting you to head designer, don't fuck this up. Shoo get back to it"

What the fuck? No literally, what the fuck?

You left as soon as she shooed you away, you were beyond confused as to why she did what she did, but you'd never question her.

Months after the promotion you and Velvette would become closer, considering how the two of you now worked closer together since you directly reported to her now.

Velvette wasn't as harsh as she usually was to you, she listened to your suggestions and took your thoughts seriously.

Velvette would ask you to go to a fashion show with her Saying it was to get another eye on the new trends, but you and her both indirectly knew it was her asking you in a date, which you obvious said yes.

After that point you were would date in private If anyone were to question you two? They'd be instantly fired on spot or killed. She didn't need anyone peaking into her personal life

Would introduce you to the other Vee's later on

"She is mine don't try and start no fucking deals with her, shes off the market"

If she didn't say that Valentino would have snatched your ass for himself. And man did he want to. Fucking creep

You two often watched tv together in her room in private, or you would sketch her, she absolutely loved that she was your muse. She would always have sketch books and the highest quality of materials.

You stayed with her during the exterminations that happened for your protection too, she wouldn't let you not stay with her if you were killed she'd fucking lose her mind

It's been almost a year since the two of you have been together privately, with the exception of Vox and Val

You'd be working late at the office sewing a new design when you'd get a text from her

"Y/n doll. Can come back to our room whatever you're doing can wait"

"Be there in five"

Oh and you moved in with her. Per her request of course.

You finish up what you were doing before heading back, knocking on the door to your shared room

When you don’t hear a response you grow concerned, as you open the door.

You see Velvette on the bed on your shared bed on her side. She quickly sits up hearing the door open

"Vox I told you to fuck off! Wait Y/n"

Her hard glare softens, she can tell she was crying

"Velv.. are you okay? What happened?"

You quickly made your way over to her

"I don't want to be alone right now, doll"

She simply says before you instantly hug her. Her returning the hug as you two just sit there, her quietly sobbing as you gently run your fingers through her soft curls, humming gently to her, trying to comfort her the best you can

You two are like that before she pulls away, keeping a hand in yours as you wipe the tears that remained trying your best to not smear her makeup anymore than it already was.

After a while she finally talks about what was causing her pain.

She might not be open to a lot of people

But damn do you help her a lot.

#hazbin hotel x reader #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #husk hazbin hotel #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel #hazbin art #hazbin lucifer #velvette x reader #hazbin velvette #hazbin hotel vox x reader

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uwabbittuwabbit · 1 month

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Eterna's Iceberg of Race Replays

I keep seeing people asking about how to watch MotoGP race replays in a financially responsible way, so here's my guide on where to find them!

TIER 1: MotoGP YouTube Channel Playlist MotoGP is probably one of the better racing series in that there are race replays readily accessible on their YouTube channel. They also do have some replays on their Facebook if you have the time to do an archaeological excavation, which I forgot to put on the iceberg (for example the 2014 Qatar GP). Since it's on their official accounts, it's at the top.

TIER 2: Motomundo Many a motoheads' trusted source for replays! Motomundo also has various documentaries, as well as practice, qualifying and testing replays. Motomundo also has a VKVideo account that which you can use if you are so inclined. Unfortunately, it has been reported of late that many of the videos have stopped working, with most of the older races not accessible at all. On the second tier since it is widely recommended and an open secret.

TIER 3: BiliBili (1) (2) This one is kind of unusual! Some endeavoring fans have done a great work of philanthropy by uploading entire seasons of MotoGP replays onto BiliBili, which is basically the Chinese equivalent of YouTube...but more. It can be overwhelming (they have a function where users can write comments which then are displayed on the screen while the video plays, for example) and maybe when I have more time, I could write a guide. Another circumstance of these replays being Chinese reuploads is that the commentary is also in Chinese, and there are some really very ugly watermarks from the broadcast itself that cannot be readily edited out. However, the archive is VERY extensive, although it only comprises of races. On the third tier since BiliBili is very popular in China, but more obscure in the West, and I only found this because I am Chinese and already had knowledge of the platform. The first link leads to a collection in which all the races from 1979-2019 have been uploaded. The second is from the same user, however it is just footage of 2020 testing. Unfortunately it seems that their uploads have paused there, at least for now.

TIER 4: This suspicious ass looking website If you've ventured this far down into the iceberg, I'm assuming that suspicious looking websites that have the potential to give you a virus don't phase you. But nevertheless, as a disclaimer, this website is a little hard to navigate. However, not only does it provide MotoGP coverage (in English), it also covers the feeder series as well and includes them in their race weekend compilations. There are options to view the race in varying resolutions, as well as links to various other uploads on Meta (not THAT Meta) and the like. Unfortunately around 2018 are where the uploads become a bit spotty, with many of the videos being unplayable and the links also leading nowhere. A very warranted tier four rating.

TIER 5: ArchivoGP (1) (2) (3) The reason I placed this one so low is not necessarily because it's better than the rest of the sources (in fact, at time of writing this post a good portion of their videos have been taken offline) but because the story in finding it was actually pretty funny. For context, I was on the hunt for a clip of Marc Marquez giving reigning world champion Pecco Bagnaia the thumbs up at the end of Mugello Q2 (thank you tumblr user suzuki-ecstar for replying to me about this...) and none of the sources I was using (so, any of the above already listed) had that clip. I was gnashing and gnawing my teeth in pain. So where else does one go to find something that is presumably lost? Internet Archive! I really thought this was the end of the road and I would have to clip that moment from a shitty vertical YouTube Short or something. Pain. But then I happen upon a full MotoGP replay. It wasn't of the session I wanted, but when I looked into the user a little further, I saw that they had uploaded various other full race replays. In their bio it was stated that they had a Telegram channel under the same name (ArchivoGP), so I did a Google search and found that they indeed did. Happily, their uploads (which are DAZN broadcasts consisting of pre-GP, practice, qualifying, sprint, feature race, post-GP and also cover the feeder classes) DID have that moment and that is the story of how I finished a fancam with the help of Internet Archive, which once again has saved my life. The three different links above lead to their old site, their new(?) one, and their video archive in question which is hosted on TokyVideo. Unfortunately their archive only dates back to 2020, and as I have stated previously some of them have been taken down.

MISCELLANEOUS: (1) (2) These are some assorted Internet Archive sources which I found while trying to backtrack how I found the previous source. I haven't had the time to actually sort through and vet the videos except for one, the original ArchivoGP user uploads (which is the first link, though I'm not entirely sure because they have since changed the name of the channel).

I hope with this masterpost I have saved you guys a lot of time that you (and me, to be honest) do not have. If you want to know where to watch races LIVE, user kingofthering has a very handy dandy masterpost here which you can go check out.

Psst: in general, if you want to very legally watch something, this is a good resource that I recommend. Cheers! ;)

#motogp #okayyyyyyyy #we sleep bye #eternarchives

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embracing-the-ineffable · 2 months

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Good Omens, staying skeptical, and the mystery and the lie at the heart of Gravity Falls

-Neil Gaiman, 29 June 2023

I recently came across this post by @apathetic-revenant, which goes into extensive detail about a whole secret meta lie generated by Alex Hirsch, creator and head writer of Gravity Falls, midway through the show.

It went like this: the show was very focused on mysteries, codes, ciphers, etc, and early on a character discovered a mysterious journal with an unknown author, and this drove the plot. There were clues placed in the show so that people could solve the journal author's identity, or more probably so that it would all make sense in hindsight after the big reveal. However, the show ended up with a larger-than-expected fandom who started organizing online in a way the creators hadn't expected or planned for, and they were worried everyone would collectively solve the mystery too easily, too soon, and the suspense and appeal of the story gradually unfolding would be lost.

So they took a fake BTS photo that appeared to reveal the journal's author and "leaked" it online. To give it credibility, the show's creator posted "Fuming right now" and then deleted the post soon after, once they were certain it had been seen and screenshots taken. The Gravity Falls fandom then stopped trying to solve the mystery, as they believed the answer had already been revealed. It was a solution "targeted toward delaying that group problem-solving, without actually affecting the experience of any individual person watching the show."

Ok, Good Omens fandom. Are we Gravity Falls all over again? Are we also experiencing meta lies?

Is it possible that Amazon's marketing department has just released a new promotional video about Aziraphale & Crowley's "timeline of interconnectedness" (discussions here and here ) where they honestly:

got several of those timeline dates wrong, including labeling the entirety of seasons 1 and 2 as belonging to the same year?

mixed all the season 1 and 2 clips together so they're completely interconnected and out of the order they were presented to us so far?

didn't consult with Neil Gaiman for even a moment to be sure they had their facts straight? (Or literally anyone else who's spent years working on it? Or even someone who has just watched it once while paying attention?)

didn't understand the way most series tell a story by moving through time in a realistic linear fashion?

When Neil said today that "time is fine" in response to questions about the timeline of interconnectedness video, was he trying to misdirect the fandom away from the mystery that's clearly hidden throughout both seasons (and especially season 2)?

The Good Place seems suddenly more relevant than I'd imagined:

Neil has told us that his Tumblr posts aren't canon. He's also said:

"Never trust the storyteller. Only trust the story."

"Writers are liars, my dear, surely you know that by now? And yet, things need not have happened to be true. Tales and dreams are the shadow-truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes, and forgot." -Both quotes are from The Sandman [link]

So here's my plea to whichever part of the fandom might read this: Stay Skeptical. It's wonderful to talk to Neil about his characters, the worlds he's created, his writing process, his views on world events, his sense of humor, his kindness, his compassion and empathy, and his good advice & encouragement for the entire range of the human experience. I respect him very much, and I'm thrilled he's here on social media talking to all of us. (Except he doesn't have social media, obviously. He's like Schrödinger's Social Media Neil-cat.)

I'm looking forward to all the surprises I'm certain are in store for us (and Aziraphale and Crowley) in Good Omens season 3. I trust Neil (and Terry!) to deliver our beloved characters to a very satisfying ending. But I don't trust Neil to honestly answer all of our questions on social media - and neither should you.

Especially not when he's already blamed obvious season 2 changes to the Bentley on the "lighting" (as just one example).

With lots of thanks to the members of the @ineffable-detective-agency - including @bbbitchvibbbez, @kimberleyjean, @maufungi, @noneorother, @theastrophysicistnextdoor, and @thebluestgreen for all their excellent fact-checking, ideas, and discussions!

Interested in diving further into all the Good Omens mysteries? I have more posts plus Clues and metas from all over the fandom, here.

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cat-vase · 4 months

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Hi. I've made a post about this before, but I have more information now (and hopefully I can organize it better).

Ghoul is a n//zi. Only censoring because I tried to make this post already and it didn't show up.

Here is a list of all the social media accounts I could find that he uses so you can block/avoid him.

There is a possible tumblr sideblog I might be unaware of (edit: this has been found!). Click the read more for more details/evidence.

Twitter: xGOREGHOULx

Tumblr: d34d-d06-404 (warning for bright/eyestrain theme on desktop)

Tumblr sideblog: fourexforevrrr

Discord server: OBJECTZSPACE

Discord username: gir4life

Pinterest: deranged_number4 + xX4_1STH3B35T1NT3G3RXx

Youtube: xGOREGUNK2009x + xGOREGHOULx

Soundcloud: xUR LOCAL GABBER KIDx + GORE GUNKZ

Pronouns.page: xGOREKIDx

Rentry: DERANGEDFOURNER (warning for bright/eyestrain/flashing gifs)

Carrd: goreghoulquest (warning for moving/spinning/rotating background image. i'm dizzy/have a headache from it. it's a first person video game perspective of somebody spinning in circles in a brick maze.)

On October 21 2023, Ghoul posted these to his pinterest. I looked at the website page data in order to get that date, because I don't think pinterest has a clear way of showing when things were posted (and if it does, I don't know about it).

That's the n//zi salute from Kratcy (CFMOT) and n//zi uniform from Yoshka (CFMOT), complete with a red n//zi armband.

In the last one of Kratcy, the caption is HEIL, MEIN FÜHRER!!! In English, this means HAIL, MY LEADER!!! Führer is the title Hitler gave to himself when he came into power.

On October 22 2023, Ghoul posted this to his twitter.

Three drawings of Four (BFDI/BFB) wearing a n//zi armband. It's censored out in two of them, but Ghoul forgot to censor out the first one. This is an indication that he knew it was bad to draw/post, but did so anyway.

Later that day, he posted this.

Another drawing of Four wearing a n//zi armband, with a caption to spell it out for you.

On October 23 2023, he posted to his twitter again.

Another one.

On December 20 2023 (two months after all those posts), somebody on twitter pointed out the armband in Ghoul's post. The callout post got a little traction, some of the other art was found, and Ghoul was asked why he drew n//zi art. This was his "apology." I included the second screenshot so you know I'm not intentionally cutting anything out with the first screenshot.

Mania does not suddenly make you antisemetic. Mania does not suddenly compel you to draw n//zi imagery. Ghoul tried censoring two out of the three images, trying to hide it. He clearly knew it was a bad thing to do. He is using mental health issues to excuse his actions.

On December 21 2023, he answered this ask on his tumblr.

And then left this in the replies of the ask post.

Again, using mental health issues as an excuse. If you felt bad for it, wouldn't you have deleted it as soon as you got into a clear headspace? Would you not have addressed it sooner instead of waiting for people to call you out on it first? If you were truly trying to ruin your reputation, why did you try to censor some of it? It isn't "old art", either. It's from three months ago.

I'm including this screenshot so people know what the discord server looks like. I am not in this server, I only clicked the link to get the screenshot. I do not know if anybody is co-running this server along with Ghoul, or if it is only Ghoul himself running it.

I'm including this poll because I don't know if he ever made that sideblog or not. If he did, I don't know the url. If anybody does know it, please tell me. I'll leave your name out of it. I just want people to be able to block it if it exists.

Edit: This sideblog has been found! It's @/fourexforevrrr

As of writing this post, it is January 7 2024. Ghoul has not said anything about this since and continues to post art like normal. I don't want this to be swept underneath the rug. I'm not allowing a n//zi to exist in the object show community. I don't care that he's a minor (16). This is vile.

#bfdi #bfb #bfb four #bfb x #tpot #bfb 4x #bfb 4 #cfmot #xfohv #hfjone #bfdia #ii #iii #inanimate insanity #osc #dni #beware #sorry for crosstagging i just know these r the tags he's most active in #i wrote this yesterday but it wouldn't post. i'm gonna keep trying until it does

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funkin-news · 2 months

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funkin blog update!!: THANK YOU ERIC

lots of good stuff in this one :) i highly recommend reading the original blog post itself, there's so much juice that tumblr won't let me put all the juice in one post

but for the sake of tradition, summary ⬇️

so. been a while yeah

they've been working on a lot of stuff that's secret/under NDA/for a different update so they couldn't share any of that on the blog

while they've had instances of people having little things they could and wanted to talk about, they couldn't just put out a post that's like one paragraph and leave it at that lol

so, eric is now going to show us some stuff! yay!!

remember this?

well, eric's been working on rebuilding the chart editor from the ground up!

he's also been pulled aside occasionally to work on other stuff (redo input system, get cutscenes working, redo scoring, work on thing that was blacked out because NDA but when i clicked it i got this video, fix issues with gamepad)

ok now put this song on while you continue reading ⬇️

youtube

and now... the chart editor is COOLER!

now featuring:

chart isn't divided into sections to scroll through anymore, just one long scroll

opponent is always on the left and player is always on the right, no weird flips

waveforms under the character icons! you can see those!

icons can be clicked to change the character

measure ticks on the left (that thing that looks like a ruler!)

note preview on the further left

video-player-like controls at the bottom for the song

oh, and it's now powered by HaxeUI instead of Flixel UI, which allows for these toolbox windows:

and neat tools like this, which lets you set offsets for each of the tracks:

this new chart editor's toolbar has all kinds of neat stuff, like these!

for the third pic: "The Window menu. No the screenshot isn't cutting anything off you're imagining things." 🤨

there's more but at this point you might just wanna go read the original post

FNFC files - new standard for making charts! contains the chart data, including the audio files!

LOTS of new keyboard shortcuts for the editor too!

also a live input mode, where you can place notes at wherever the playhead currently is by pressing WASD/⬆️⬇️⬅️➡️

what that means is you can tap out some notes as the song plays and then proofread them after!

this is the part where i'd put another video because there's another one, but tumblr only lets me put one, so... go read the original post i guess

SONG EVENTS FEATURE! you see that ninth strumline on the right? anything put there doesn't show up as notes for either player, but instead runs a chunk of code at the given time

right now the only built-in events are camera control and getting a character or stage prop to play an animation, but modders are probably gonna have a field day

another video! i already forgot i can't add more than 1. damn you tumblr.

also, it, like, never crashes!

except for when it does!

#fnf #friday night funkin #fridaynightfunkin #og funkin news #dev blog updates #Youtube

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redmelawashere · 1 month

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Alright I got woken up at like 3 AM with FORBIDDEN MEMORIES™️ and remember that MelloNear literally had a fandom video game. What other fucking fandom has SHIPPING VIDEO GAMES.

I think it just hit me since recently I've been thinking a lot about how fandom spaces shift over time (especially as we have re-boots, live-actions, or other media that helps reinvigorate fandoms like currently with A:TLA) and honestly, MelloNear has had so many ups and downs and like…as someone who was in this fandom WAY too young and grew up with it I want to see how many people on tumblr, who were there in ye olden wild west days, remember the stuff I do and also for those of you who weren’t around back then but are big now, here’s the insane history that I remember:

1 - LiveJournal (LJ) and the LOST FICS LJ was initially one of the better places to find fics – but a lot of authors jumped ship when FF.NET started to take over and for other reasons that were before my time. Finding fics on LJ that haven’t been deleted was/is hard and their UI is trash I never could get a grasp on it. (The irony of FF.NET now being dead and people jumping ship to AO3 and Tumblr lol.) Astyzia_ii used to write really fucking good MelloNear stuff there. She was one of the first people I ever read that had insanely good Near characterization. Unfortunately, her account no longer exists. But some of the things she wrote were things like:

Near being a total brat (at the time, no one else was really writing Near like that. Including Near lying to Mello about being assaulted by other children at Whammy's, just generally putting him in his place, etc.)

Mello painting Near’s nails black (then this trope just went off on FF.NET and everyone was writing fics like that - I really like when stuff like this comes out of fandom)

Mello finding out that Near, despite being in love with him, thought Mello was so unapproachable he had sex with someone else (implied Giovanni) and Mello is basically confronting Near about it at a time when Near was treated as a prudish virgin in fandom

Finding each other in the apocalypse AU

Mello and Near being like high school sweethearts (salthearts?) and Mello wanting to go to a University in the BIG CITY but would ignore the offer if it meant staying with Near (and super tragic fic too. They pull over on a freeway after an argument about it and then Near just straight up gets hit by a car after pushing Mello out of the way 💀 and you don't know if Near survived)

And obviously, many more really creative AUs

2 - KurosakiAkane and VIDEO GAMES Akane, as Spanish artist and the original “cursed moons” drew some of the most viral and prolific MelloXNear doujinshis and EVEN MADE FANDOM VIDEO GAMES. Like I can’t believe I forgot about this. Akane literally made fandom yaoi video games and they were SO GOOD. What other fandom has shipping video games you’d think it’d be the norm I can barley wrap my head around it

Pretty sure her website (www.cursedmoons.com) is down so you can’t download them directly from there or see her full doujinshis anymore

Her DeviantArt account is still live so you can see some stills and teasers from her doujinshis.

Her LJ account is also still live but more so as an archive.

Her first game “D.nD Poisoned” can be downloaded here if you scroll to the bottom (but I haven’t checked the link so be wary…) but it was basically taking place during Whammy’s days, and yes, Mello has a knife cause he’s unhinged since those were just the times ig.

“D.nD Infection” was her second, unfinished game, which would have been when they were mid-Kira investigation post Mello blowing up the base. I found a website that hosts the short demo she released.

Her games literally inspired a new wave of AUs for the fandom in the fic department and she was just a titan who kept everyone together on all corners of the internet. When she decided to leave the fandom in like 2011 after 2010’s great FF.NET purge of M rated fics it kind of felt like the beginning of the end.

3 - Doujinshis (fandom comics) Most doujinshi artists had their own websites and MANY were Japanese / Chinese translated into English (pretty sure Akane was the first one to create them exclusively in English...). There are so many archived on YouTube that I used to watch all the time. You can even still find some of Akane’s doujinshi’s on Youtube like:

January

Lost Innocence

The Last Birthday

Game Over

Chocolate Kiss

One of the ones that was most impactful on me was this one that I cannot remember the name of, and it wasn't by Akane, but basically Mello, freshly 16 trying to stay alive, resorts to prostitution, and the big revealer at the end is he’s just kind of left there, alone, opens up his hand and there’s a little white puzzle piece he stole from Near and pretty sure the last line was something along the lines of “no one else” and I just 😭

4 - Lost Art and the Famous Water Colours

A lot of that water-colour MN art you see floating around was from, if I'm not mistaken, a Chinese MelloNear artist and their website I think was just "w" or something and she had created 100s of MN art.

5 - ForbiddenSoul562 and FF.NET Beef and Fan Fic Rap Battles

Soul was one of the BIGGEST creators on FF.NET (and luckily, she’s still active both on FF.Net and here on tumblr!) I remember when she had like a fic battle with another creator FragilePuzzle (who is also on tumblr and active – but they post M-ll-M-tt stuff now and pretty sure they deleted all their MelloNear fics... Their active handle on tumblr is mizzmellos I think? Anyways, they’ve also switched from writing to art and its really good!) And there was like a whole “vote who you think wrote the better fic” and it was like Clash of the Titans. Shame that Fragile, as they used to go by, doesn’t like MN anymore since they also wrote a lot of really good stuff. When Fragile stopped posting and Soul went on an extended hiatus that also felt like another beginning of the end loooooool (pretty sure Soul and Mzz had an interaction here on tumblr reminding each other of each other and I had so much social anxiety I was like headbanging watching this interaction go down and if I'm remembering correctly it started cordial but didn't really end well but I could be 100% misremembering the tone of the interaction but if you dig through Soul's tumblr you can probably find it or mzzs for that matter.) 6 - Kids Writing Dark Tropes

I feel like I should make another post and just…describe how Mello and Near were portrayed individually and in a relationship during that time since it was honestly insane. Very toxic, very star-crossed lovers who revolve around each other but are devastating together and are healthier a part, and so much more. I’m much happier with where their characterization and how the fandom has evolved currently from those times lol. But I think over the years I’ve also realized how fucking young all of us were (I was literally like…13 consuming all this media which retroactively, I’m like YIKES 18+ is 18+ for a reason and I even realized some of my favourite authors / creators who I thought were way older than me or like “cool teenagers” were also close to my age and not that much older so no wonder we were all writing crazy unstable relationship shit like that - which can be fun! - but this was literally all. the. time.).

Honestly that’s all I can remember for now but what a wild ride. I know FF.NET is like, a super hard platform to use now (and just gets worse every day 🙃) but if anyone wants some MN fic recs from the vault lmk and I’ll make a post about it.

-Redmela

#redmela screams #redmela rants #death note #mn #mellonear #meronia #cursed moons #like shit I wish Akane could have at least finished Infection I can't even begin to grasp the talent of writing/scripting/drawing/codding #ALL BY YOURSELF #FOR FREE #FOR THE FANDOM AND THE PEPOLE #mEANWHILE I have like 50 WIPs for multiple fandoms byeeeeeee #Mello | Mihael Keehl #Near | Nate River #D.nD Poisoned #D.nD Infection #Fandom video games #fandom culture #fandom history

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904pmoclock · 13 days

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a MOD FOR PHIGHTING DID WHATTTTTTTTTTTT 😨😨😨😱

anyway guys i wasnt surprised anyway because of how many people are getting cancelled every day and month, it generally shouldnt be a jaw dropper atp

*hair flips*

anyway some girl at my school invitied some old man into her house to do the sexy time with and that IT GOT LEAKED JUST SO YOU KNOW IM IN A SCHOOL WITH MINORS BTW IF U FORGOT everyone was talking abt that and like I first hear about it and im like. SHE DID WHATTT, which was true btw there was clips of it. My friend apparently found it off somebody. BTW im not gonna go into detail what happened into said video because well.. shes CRAZY 😛 i mean this wasnt the first time she got leaked doing something horrible which im not gonna talk about tumblr in a public area where i could get banned because it's that bad dawg.

anyway hii guys this post isnt done i might delete this later 😇 or not

#digital art #digital drawing #small artist #artists on tumblr #roblox fanart #drawing #phighting!#phighting #regretevator #regretevator retro #retro regretevator #furry

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judyfromfinance · 10 months

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Dead to Me.

(Obey Me/Reader)

Summary: ‘The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb’, it was one of your favorite quotes. It meant that found family can often mean more to you than the family you were born with. The ones you share blood with. And often times it would get shortened down and paraphrased into meaning the exact opposite of what was initially intended.

But after coming back home from your year long stay in the Devildom, your house and family in shambles, it is no longer your favorite quote. The water of the womb that you shared with your sister meant more to you than any blood spilled between you and those 7 demons in hell.

Warnings: Violence. Death. Fighting and Shouting. Thoughts of suicide.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I totally forgot to post this to Tumblr. Oops. Just know this story would not exist without the talented earthliving on AO3 or @another-lost-mc here on Tumblr. My inspiration came from their headcanons Taken. (Hope you don’t mind me tagging you again girly. I totally thought I posted this here rip.)

Your stay in the Devildom was far from easy. Not just because demons threatened to kill you, eat you, or worse. Yes, there was a worse apparently. But because you had to leave behind everything you knew and loved. How the Prince of Hell even had a file on you to begin with was a mystery to you. You for sure don’t remember signing up for any exchange program. Supernatural or otherwise. But they did. And you were chosen. Just like that. Not because you were special or anything, no Lucifer made sure to drill it into your skull that you were chosen by happenstance. And nothing more.

In the beginning everything was rough. And it didn’t help that your ‘dorm mates’ were complete assholes. Stealing from you. At least what little you had to your name. Be it snacks or trinkets. And others ridiculed you. On your fashion sense or lack there of. And, peculiarly enough, on your lack of knowledge on Devildom gaming and anime. You thought for a second that Leviathan could be a friend to you considering your similar interests. You and your own sister grew up around video games and anime. You thought he’d be easier to befriend. But no. He couldn’t care less about you. You remember almost shouting at him after a particularly harsh verbal lashing. You wanted to remind him that anime (and you’re pretty sure video games too) were a human invention and he should get off his high horse and stop gatekeeping like a total incel. But no. You didn’t. Because even though you were upset, you still feared for your life here.

But slowly, things that seemed unnatural almost became… normal. Like some of the food. Although you couldn’t stomach some of it, others weren’t too far off from some human ingredients you were used to. Although no matter who cooked dinner or whatever take out was bought, it could never satisfy your hunger for a home cooked meal. And by home cooked you mean from your home. You didn’t cook often. You were kinda shit at it. But your sister? She liked cooking. And she would sometimes make you foods based off of tiktoks she saw earlier in the day. They may not have come out perfect, but they were great. And you would tell her time and time again how amazing her food was.

Being surrounded by a group of brothers would often bring up thoughts and memories of your sister. Though you tried not to linger too long, otherwise you might cry. And god forbid any of these demons caught you crying in the middle of the hallway. You wouldn’t be able to deal with that embarrassment and ridicule. No, instead you tried your damnded hardest to get used to living here. You’d be here for a year. A whole ass year. Not long for immortal demons sure but it was a lot for little human you. A year away from your little sister. Away from your loved ones and everything you knew. But thankfully, things got better. A lot better.

The brothers started to warm up to you. Starting with Mammon and Beelzebub. I guess it was inevitable with Mammon considering you had made a pact with him on your second day here. He was assigned as your protector. Or as he put it, your babysitter. And you would often tell him he did a shit job at it at first. But eventually after a few too many get rich quick schemes he started to learn more about you. Your dreams. Your fears. He tried to play it off like he didn’t care but it was hard to not care for somebody you eventually spent every waking moment with. He learned to love you. Just like Beel did after he formed a pact with you as well. After you protected him from Lucifer. You both shared stories about your siblings. Yea, Beel was the only one that knew you had a little sister. And he wiped your tears away as you cried about how much you missed her.

And after that each and every brother started to fall like dominoes. You remember the second to last brother to fall. Belphegor. You remember freeing him from the confines of his makeshift prison in the attic. He had tried to kill you. You can still feel the slight scratching of his claws as they grazed against your throat. No wait. He did kill you. You were pulled away by a strong magnetic force as you look at your own corpse on the ground. Bile rose up your throat. You remember your back colliding into a wall and when you looked up, all you saw was dazzling amber. Lord Diavolo and is ever loyal butler Barbatos were quick to arrive on the scene. They had explained who you were. And that maybe you were picked for a reason. The universe wanted you here evidently. Considering you shared blood with their long since dead sister. That day they all found out that Lilith survived and was turned into a human. To spend the rest of her days on earth happily. And you were her descendant. You remember looking around the room at the brothers. Some tearing up and others just looked at you in either awe or confusion. Except for one pair.

Belphegor had a hard time adjusting to this newfound knowledge. His hatred for humans ran deep and it was hard to override something that spanned eons. Even if his beloved sister had become human, it still didn’t mean they weren’t at fault for what happened. And he tried to hate you. He really did. But you wormed your way into his heart. Slowly but surely. Just like you did with the rest of his family. He learned to love you and all of your weird little human habits. He came to remember why he fell in love with the human realm all the way back in his Celestial years. Every time he looked into your eyes he remembered. And he hopes this time he doesn’t forget. Not just for you. But to honor his sister. He wishes he could burn the color of your eyes into his brain so he could see them every time he blinks. He told you that once. You just called him a weirdo and walked away.

You carved out a spot for you in this dysfunctional family. And you learned to love them. Though you had to set boundaries for each of them, lest they walk all over you. You were still human, you had to stick up for yourself ya know? But just because you learned to love these demons as much as they loved you, they can never fill the hole in your heart. And you started to get antsy. You weren’t allowed to contact anyone back home. To protect the Devildom and all that. But you swore up and down to who ever would listen that you wouldn’t jeopardize them like that. You loved them too much to do that. But you also loved your family back at home. And you wanted to just make sure they were ok. And although Lord Diavolo seemed to understand where you were coming from, all your requests were still denied.

Lucifer could tell you were trying to figure out ways to circumvent your denials. So he made sure to tell the other exchange student, mostly Simeon and Solomon, that they were not to help you contact anyone in the human realm. Simeon understood, considering he wouldn’t want to jeopardize his home, the Celestial Realm, either. Solomon just laughed it off but agreed once he saw Lucifer’s glare. He didn’t believe that you would come talk to him or better yet, ask him for a favor. He knew the brothers filled your head with rumors about him. Conniving, sly, shady and untrustworthy little wizard man. He still laughed every time he remembered the hushed whispers, that were a little too loud to still be considered whispers, that Mammon spewed to you about him. No, you wouldn’t come to him for help.

But color him surprised when you showed up at his bedroom door the very next day asking for help for the very thing that Lucifer warned him about. You pleaded your case very well in hindsight. He could see the hope in your eyes as you looked towards the only other human in Hell for help. Sadly for you, it’s been a long time since Solomon has felt such an intense love for a family member such as you do right now. He just didn’t understand your need to contact anyone. And he told you what everyone else did. It’s better for everyone if you just waited till the year ended to see them again. So you did.

You pushed your love for your sister to the back of your mind and tried to cover it up with the love you had for the brothers. You spoiled them rotten. Lucifer too when he would allow it. But he was often times the one to tell you to stop babying his brothers. Asmodeus would shout that you were a grown woman and if you wanted to baby him then Lucifer should let you! Everyone decided not to acknowledge the fact that he only mentioned you babying him and not any of the others. You learned how to cook with the best of them. Though you were still kinda scared of knifes. But you had to. To help feed Beel and his never ending appetite. You felt so bad for him that you always made sure to make extras for him every time you cooked. It must be Hell to feel like you’re starving all the time. You even bought him a mini fridge to keep in his room. Lucifer admonished you for that too.

No brother was left out of your loving and giving ways. Gaming with Levi was fun, though you did mention how much he hurt you at the beginning of your time here, he soon went on a spiel about how he was a yucky otaku and he didn’t deserve your friendship. You kind of wanted to let him know that this manipulation thing wasn’t cute but it was already 3 in the morning, you were too tired. So you just said you forgiven him and went to bed. Once in your room you noticed Satan on your bed, asleep with a book you had bought him from the human world open on his lap. You set the book aside and curled up next to him. He grumbled about pirates and treasure islands as drool dripped from his lips. No these brothers could never replace your lovely little sister. But they were becoming more of a family to you than some other members of your real family. You soon fell asleep and dreamed about memories long since passed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You were sitting on your bed as your sister sat beside you. You both watched your tv and laughed as your favorite streamer said something stupid again. She turned to you and spoke.

“You know, I love it when I infect you.”

“What? What does that mean?” You questioned.

“I just like to see you enjoy stuff that I like. I like showing you my special interests and you actually listen and enjoy them too. It makes me feel nice. Appreciated isn’t the right word.” She grumbled, trying to find words for her jumbled thoughts. “I don’t know. I just like that you’re here with me.”

You stare into your sisters eyes as your own begin to tear up. You were always the one to cry in your family. A big ol’ crybaby. But you couldn’t help it. Sometimes you just ‘felt things’ way too much.

“I understand what you’re saying. I like that you’re here with me too.” You pull your sister into a hug. “I’ll always be here for you. No matter what. You wanna talk about something you like for hours on end? Let’s do it, just let me get comfortable first.” She elbowed you. You kiss the top of her head. “If you ever need someone to talk to about your feelings, or if somebody is scaring you or bothering you or whatever, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here. You know you’re the person I care most about in the world right?” She lifts up her head and smiles.

“I know.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s been a year. A whole year away from your family and you’re getting ready to finally see them again. You can’t wait to see them… but it feels… wrong somehow. Like you’re leaving a part of you behind. The whole house was in dismay this last week. Everyone was quiet. The brothers were contemplating on how they were going to get on with life without you. Some of them believed they can go about their regular business just fine without you. But they knew. In the back of their minds they knew that you stepped into their lives and shook up their world. Altering it forever. They loved you. Fully. And when these 7 demons loved something, it was hard for them to unclasp their claws from that something. But with you, they couldn’t hide you away. Lock you in a room and throwaway the key. Though some contemplated it. No. They had to let you go.

And like you said, it wasn’t just hard on them. You loved them too. Through all the blood, sweat, and tears you survived and came out the other side with a whole new perspective on life and a new family. It was gonna be hard leaving them. So when the day finally came to go, you cried. You couldn’t bring all your Devildom trinkets with you, considering some of their origins. So you gifted them back to the brothers that would cherish them the most.

You gifted Asmo a peculiar hexed hair comb that a RAD student gave you. It was supposed to be cursed so the user would always have bad hair days if they used the brush. Luckily for you, that person flunked their Hexing 101 class, so it literally did the exact opposite. You told Asmo that his hair was beautiful and he’d never need it, but he should have it, just in case. He wept into your shoulder as he hugged you. Levi got a anime figurine that you bought yourself. It was from a random Demonic Anime that you’ve never watched but you bought it because it was cute and pink. He told you exactly where he would be putting it and how he’d dust it everyday. You just giggled as you moved on.

Satan got a spell book from you. It belonged to your spell casting teacher that took a particular liking to you. Satan didn’t have the heart to tell you that he already had that edition. But he still cherished it regardless. Beel and Belphie got scarves that you crocheted yourself. Apparently the yarn was magical and imbued with a special silk webbing that would take the makers feelings and use them to keep itself warm. So if you loved the person you gifted it too, it would exude heat. And boy, were they toasty every time they wore it. Luckily it was always decently cold in the Devildom.

Then came the next two, Mammon and Lucifer. You stopped in front of them both as you knew you were keeping everyone too long. You took out a necklace and a ring. Both bought for you from your own mother. You felt a little bad giving these gifts away. They did mean a lot to you. But so did the 2 demons standing in front of you. You handed the necklace with a simple sunflower charm to Mammon as you handed the accompanying sunflower engraved ring to Lucifer. You told them they didn’t have to wear them or anything. Especially since the ring won’t fit Lucifer’s fingers anyways. But still, you wanted to leave a little part of you with them. A small sliver of your soul. Solomon told you once that if a human wore something or had something on their person for long enough, that object could retain pieces of that person spirit. Their energy. And you wore those bits of jewelry your whole life. It felt right to give these two men something from the heart. Since they truly stole yours.

You walked back over to Diavolo and Barbatos as you stood side by side with Solomon. They asked if you were finally ready to go back home. You nodded as you turned towards the portal, you wiped away your tears and pushed your way through the fog. Leaving this place you called Home.

Mammon looked down into his hand. The simple silver chain and sunflower charm glinting in the moonlight. He could feel a tear slip down his cheek as he saw your aura encapsulate the pendant. A beautiful shimmering glow that only creatures such as him could see. He quickly closed his hand into a fist, already feeling his sin clawing at his heart. Wanting no one to see the beautiful piece of yourself that you left for him and only him. Well, him and Lucifer. Lucifer ushered his brothers back the House of Lamentation. As they all walked into the parlor, a silent yearning filled them all. Belphegor was the one to brake it.

“I miss them.” All the brothers could do was nod, as they all felt the same.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

No. No no no no. NO. This was not supposed to happen! What the fuck happened!? No no, you promised her. Now look what happened. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE! WHY WEREN’T YOU THERE!?

You sobbed and begged and pleaded. You choked on your own vomit as you heaved into the trash can. The people around the police station looked towards you in pity as you screamed and wailed that this was all just a bad dream. They had to interview you, as were a potential suspect but they could tell you had no idea what happened. The pain in your voice, in your eyes, was real. Now the interrogation was more so a formality , for the paperwork than to get any real answers.

You couldn’t go home. There was no home to go to. It was infested with men and women in blue uniforms and wrapped up in yellow tape. Your house was a crime scene. Your sister was gone. You promised her. No. You lied to her.

You look towards your phone and see the millions of messages and calls that never went through to you since you been stuck in hell. The last one replayed in your head on loop. Your little sisters voice pleading for you to come home, she’s scared. There’s someone in the house. She called 911 but their not here yet. Why’d you leave me? What did I do? Oh god. Their in my room. I can see him. No no NO! HE’S… than nothing but blood curdling screaming and sobbing came after that. You hear a wet squelch before someone picked up the phone to end the call.

You heaved into the bucket as you cried. Your baby sister. Your everything. Is gone. She’s gone. And it’s your fault.

This is all your fault.

It’s ALL YOUR FAULT!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s been months since any of the brothers have seen you and they’ve, for the most part, have gotten things back to normal. All of them miss you dreadfully but there’s nothing they can do. Despite how hard some of them try.

Belphie has tried multiple times, along with Satan, to open up a portal to the Human realm to visit you themselves. Lucifer thwarted each and every one of their attempts. Mammon tried bribing Witches and Warlocks alike to take him up top so he can see you all by himself. Of course, none of them helped him. And then there were the others that held onto their sadness but kept chugging on anyways. Like Asmo or Beel.

It was just a normal day in the House of Lamentation when Lucifer gets an urgent call from Lord Diavolo. Ordering him and his brothers to come down to the castle now. Lucifer rounds up his brothers and leave’s immediately.

“What’s the big rush? Why does he need us there right now?” Mammon shoves his hands into his pocket. Toying with his little piece of you.

“I don’t know but he sounded urgent. If there’s something wrong in the Devildom and Lord Diavolo needs our help with it, then we shall abide.” Lucifer storms off in front of everybody as he knocks upon the ginormous doors of the castle. Barbatos opens them and ushers everyone inside.

“Barbs~, what’s the problem? I don’t feel like getting my clothes dirty today.” Asmo groans as he glided next to Barbatos. He sighs. “It’s quite… difficult to explain. They’re back.” Levi rolls his eyes as he toys with his D.D.D.

“Who?”

“(Y/n).”

And with that, all the demons went sprinting towards the main dining area. As they got closer they heard shouting and screaming. They all feel their pact with you flare up. The burst through the doors as they see you being pinned down to the floor by some royal guards. All of them shifted into their demonic forms but only two of them went in for the kill. Mammon and Belphegor were held back as Lucifer and Beel struggled to keep them in place.

“What in the Hell happened here!?” Lucifer shouted. Satan looks around the room and sees destruction of plates and chairs. He looks towards Diavolo and notices a very slight reddening on his cheek. Had you… Had you hit him? How did you achieve that? He looked towards you and all he could see was a mess. Clothes dirty. Hair oily. Face splotchy and red. Your eyes were even redder. Puffy. Like you haven’t slept since leaving them all those months ago. But you didn’t look tired. You didn’t look sad despite the constant tears running down your face. He didn’t need to be the Avatar of Wrath to be able to tell that you were furious.

Lucifer has also came to the same conclusion as he eventually let go of Mammon and made his way to you. He kneels down by you as he ushers the guards away. The reluctantly let go and you slowly push yourself up. He tries to help you but you smack his hand as hard as you could. You sit on the floor as you try and catch your breath.

“(Y/n)… what has gotten into you? What has happened that would cause you to behave this way?” You wipe your face and look at your hand. Red blood smeared across the surface. Your nose was smashed pretty harshly on the ground when the guard tackled you. Lucifer just keeps calling your name. Spewing questions left and right. You don’t answer any of them. You don’t need to. No. No. They answer to you. You pull yourself with the broken chair beside you as you look towards Diavolo once again. There’s a sadness in his eyes that you refuse to acknowledge. You wobble your way closer to him but the guards stop you. You can hear A few of the brothers growl in the background but you pay them no mind.

“It’s your fault.” You whisper. Barely holding back a sob. “It’s… it’s all your fault!” You cry. Diavolo tries to ask you about this perceived slight that you have against him. But you cut him off. “Out of all the shit that I’ve been through…” spit flies past your teeth as you stutter out your words in barely veiled anger. “All the shit I’ve done for YOU!” You point towards him. “For THEM!” You wave your arms towards the 7 demonic entities behind you. “And all I ask for was a call. Not even! A fucking text! Anything. FUCKING ANYTHING!” You grab a broken shard of something off the table as you chucked it at the Prince with all your might. You barely grazed his arm. “And look what fucking happened!”

You fall to your knees as you sob and heave. “She’s gone. I promised her and because of you I couldn’t be there. SHE needed me and YOU took me away!” You bang your hand against your chest hard enough to give yourself a bruise as you moaned in despair. The air in the room seemed to vanish. The brothers were told about your sister from Beel. You had never mentioned her to them. But Beel took it upon himself to mention her. They grew excited at the prospect of meeting another one of Lillith’s descendants. You were the oldest? Sooo, were you more like Lucifer or more like Mammon? The thought of meeting this person that you clearly loved, at least from what Beelzebub had told them, instantly left their minds as they all connected the dots. Your little sister was dead. She had died while you were down here. Having fun with your new family.

Asmo gasped silently into his hand as everyone else took their turns as shock and horror ran through them. Beel and Belphie however, stood stock still. The complet and utter pain you were feeling. They new it all too well. All the brothers did. But the twins had dealt with a different type of pain. Considering they were once triplets. Belphie made the first move to try and comfort you. But you just shoved him away as you clumsy maid your way to Barbatos. You cling to him as if he was the only thing keeping you alive. Sane.

“Please. You can bring her back. You did it with me you can do it it again. Please bring her back. Please just please do it. Please I’m begging you please…” you sob into his chest. Tears soaking into his butler uniform. He pays your back and says. “I’m sorry (Y/n). But that’s just now how it works.” You fling yourself off of him.

“YES. YES IT DOES! It has too. You have to bring her back. You did it with me. Why not her!?” You slowly raise your hands, palm up. “Or… or… you can take me instead? Yeah. You can do that right? My soul for hers.” You ask quietly but his constant shaking of his head just angers you. You claw at your head, pulling at your hair.

“You’re a fucking demon! Souls are your thing! Not only that but you’re the only demon in all of Hell to have fucking time powers. LIKE HELL IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY! Are you really that fucking stupid!? That fucking WEAK?” You feel arms pull you back towards a warm chest. Belphegor holds you close as he tries to overpower you with his Sin. You can feel yourself get sleepy. You start to fall back towards the ground but Belphie holds you up. He whispered in your ear.

“I know (Y/n). I understand your sadness. Your anger. Your violence. But let’s sleep for now.” You try and struggle out of his arms but your arms feel like lead. You feel numb to the world. So instead you use up your last bits of energy to spew out one more sentence.

“I don’t give a shit. You’re dead to me.” Because even though you knew they could understand you better than most, the guilt that warped your brain lingered heavily. The day your sister died was the same day you told the brothers during dinner that you considered all of them your family. Levi jokingly asked which of your family was better? And you jokingly replied… them. So in the back of your mind, to keep you from killing yourself in despair you pushed every single negative emotion you felt onto those around you.

“You’re fucking dead to me.”

#Dead to Me.#Obey Me/Reader #obey me x reader

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