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flowerbarrel-art · 2 years

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~ Alan Becker, AvA, AvM

~ Mojang, 4J Studios, Minecraft

* I forgot to mention, but the Sticks call King “Orange” here and will up until a point. Apologies for any confusion. I know sometimes Second is called Orange in the fandom.

I think my computer may have finally kicked the bucket. I thought it would soon though so I saved my important documents in my DeviantArt stash. I’ve also got a backup of everything on my computer saved. So nothing permanently lost there.

I don’t know when or if I’ll get a new computer though, so in the meantime I’ll just write things on Tumblr. Thank you as always for reading!

Previous parts of this story:

AvM Mermay Part One

AvM Mermay Part Two

AvM Mermay Part Three

King

Purple

Purple and Blue Part One

Purple and Blue Part Two

Purple and Blue Part Three (You Are Here)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yellow quietly walked into their room to see Orange lying huddled up under the yellow covers and shivering.

Yellow sat quietly next to the bed, setting the bowl of rabbit stew on the bedside table. They then carefully changed his bandages.

Orange mumbled something, then opened his eyes and stared wearily up at Yellow, then around the room in confusion.

“How do you feel?” Yellow asked softly.

“Better...thank you,” Orange sighed. “How long have I been asleep?”

“About a week,” Yellow said, and Orange stared at them in slight alarm, then struggled to sit up. “No, it’s alright, just rest. You’re okay.”

“Who are you?” Orange asked wearily, staring dazedly at the ceiling.

“Yellow.”

“You’re one of the Sticks who saved Purple,” Orange said weakly.

“They wanted to come and check on you,” Yellow said, “but I told them to wait.”

“I…I’m sorry for causing all this trouble,” Orange whispered. “I don’t have much on me…but you can keep whatever you like as my thanks.”

“That's not why we helped you,” Yellow said. “We’re all just glad you’re alright.”

The door to the bedroom creaked slightly, and Yellow turned to see Purple and Blue peeking into the room.

“Is it alright if they come in?” Yellow asked, and Orange gave a tired smile and nodded. “Alright, come in, you two, but you need to be quiet, okay?"

Purple and Blue walked slowly across the room, and Blue patted Purple’s shoulder.

“You made it,” Orange murmured, and Purple suddenly threw their arms around his neck. “Hey, now…it’s alright. I’m going to be alright.”

“R-R-really?" Purple sniffled.

“I’ll be just fine thanks to all of you,” Orange said.

“It was mostly Blue,” Purple said, drawing back and wiping their eyes. “They figured out the Warped fungus could make stronger potions.”

“Warped fungus?” Orange asked blankly, then chuckled a bit. “I thought the potions tasted…familiar.”

“Ate?” Blue asked with a grimace. “Bad.”

“I’m afraid so,” Orange said with a little smile. “A clan of Piglins rescued and took care of me after the Ghast attack. They gave me Warped fungus to eat. I suppose it helped. I didn’t eat very much while I was recovering.”

“Do you know how long you were there?” Yellow asked.

“It was hard to tell,” Orange said, “but I think it was at least a week. I left and managed to find my home. I wanted to leave right then, but I was exhausted.”

“I’ll bet,” Yellow murmured in sympathy, carefully sitting Orange up before picking up the bowl of stew. “Do you think you could eat some?”

“I'll try,” Orange said with a nod. "Thank you."

He reached out a hand for the spoon, but his arm trembled.

“It’s alright,” Yellow said. “You’re still pretty weak.”

Yellow gave him a spoonful of the stew, and Orange closed his eyes.

“You alright?” Yellow asked in concern.

“I’m fine,” Orange murmured. “.I just haven’t had food like that in a while. Did you make it?”

“Yup.”

“It’s good,” Orange said appreciatively. “I cook, but…it’s not as like yours.”

Yellow smiled, then gave him some more.

“It’s not that great,” they chuckled. “The others are better at it than I am.”

“No, you’re really good at it!” Purple exclaimed. “Your cooking’s the best! Right, Blue?”

Blue nodded emphatically.

“Well…thank you,” Yellow said, looking away in embarrassment for a moment.

“Purple, I didn’t mean to leave you like that,” Orange said apologetically. “I’m so sorry. It must have been scary.”

“It’s okay,” Purple said. “You didn’t mean to.”

“All the same,” Orange sighed. “But I knew you’d made it. I checked the cave where I built the Nether portal and saw the cobblestone wall.”

“Oh, you found that?” Yellow asked in surprise. “I’d almost forgotten.”

“I’m just sorry it took me so long to find and thank you,” Orange murmured.

“Please, don’t worry about that,” Yellow assured him. “I…I’m sorry we didn’t look harder for you.”

“The Piglins found me a day before you went into the Nether,” Orange said. “I’m glad you didn’t try to approach them. I was alright because I had my…”

Yellow gave him a concerned look as he faltered.

“I had a golden helmet,” Orange continued with a hesitant glance away.

“Did you talk to them?” Purple asked curiously.

“No, but they drew me pictures,” Orange said. “At first it was symbols…whatever method they used to tell the time. But they seemed to know about the Overworld’s day and night cycles, and that’s how I knew how long I’d been there.”

“The suns on the back of the drawing of all of us?” Yellow asked.

“That’s right,” Orange said with a nod. “Though…it was just five of you.”

“New,” Blue said.

“Blue found us couple weeks ago!” Purple explained.

“Mer!” Blue exclaimed brightly, and Orange’s eyebrows rose.

“Mer?" he asked, puzzled.

"They used to be a Merperson," Purple said. "Red and Second--Second's orange, almost like you--got a potion from a witch to change them into a Stick!”

“A witch?” Orange asked in concern. “Are they alright?”

“Just fine,” Yellow said quickly, giving Orange the last of the stew. “Now, do you feel alright? Any nausea or pain?”

“No, thankfully,” Orange said. “I feel much better. Thank you. Just a bit tired.”

“You should get some rest,” Yellow said, getting up and ushering Purple and Blue from the room. “I’ll come and check on you later.”

“Wait, Yellow, if you would…” Orange said.

“Purple, Blue,” Yellow said. “I think Red and Green were talking about making cookies. They’d appreciate your help.”

“Okay…” Purple said, giving Orange a worried look. “Could we bring you some later, Orange?”

“That would be nice,” Orange chuckled. “I haven’t had cookies in a while either.”

“Okay!” Purple exclaimed, perking up. “We’ll make a lot!”

"Bye, Orange!” Blue said, giving a little wave.

The two rushed out of the room, and Yellow checked the hall before shutting the door and sitting at Orange’s bedside.

“I think I found the village where Purple used to live,” Orange said after a long silence. “It was abandoned.”

Yellow clenched both fists, shaking their head in resignation.

“I found a Nether portal there, deactivated,” Orange went on. “When I lit it, I wound up very close to the spot where I found Purple. I didn’t realize there was another Nether portal so close to mine…but I…I suppose I never thought to check.”

“Do you know what might’ve happened?” Yellow asked gingerly.

“It had been overrun,” Orange sighed heavily. “I don’t know for sure what did it, but I think it was zombies. No one was left, but the village was mostly intact. It didn’t look like the work of Pillagers.”

“Oh, no…” Yellow muttered, shaking their head slowly. “So…someone got them to safety, probably their parents, but…”

“…I don’t think they made it, no,” King finished grimly.

“Poor Purple…” Yellow said regretfully. “No wonder they didn’t want to live in a village. We asked if they’d like to so they could make friends, but they always got so scared and refused. They hated even taking short trips for trading.”

Yellow let out a breath and lowered their head.

“They had a panic attack the first time we took them there for a trading trip,” Yellow said. “After that, two would stay home with Purple, and two of us would go to the village. Purple always hated it when we had to go.”

“They must’ve been worried for you,” Orange murmured. “I think they don’t consciously remember, but…well…”

“I think you’re right,” Yellow agreed sadly.

“You’re their parents now,” Orange said. “So it’s up to you if you will tell them or not.”

Orange closed his eyes regretfully.

“I…I don’t think I could do it.”

“I’ll tell the others soon,” Yellow said.

Orange nodded, then let out a long, weary sigh.

“Thank you for telling me,” Yellow said. “We suspected something like that had happened…but we never knew for certain. Purple couldn’t remember anything, but they had constant nightmares for years. Well…they still do every now and then.”

“The poor thing,” Orange murmured wearily. “If I’d looked around more…maybe I could have saved them. I was always too caught up in my work.”

“You couldn’t have known,” Yellow said gently, patting Orange’s shoulder.

“I really thought there was nothing off that way,” Orange said wearily, sinking back against the pillows. “I…I should’ve…I should’ve done more…shouldn’t have run away…”

“Shhh,” Yellow hushed him, “it’s alright. You still need a lot of rest.”

Yellow took out a healing potion and gave half of it to Orange.

“…thank you,” Orange sighed drowsily, drifting off to sleep a moment later.

Yellow put another blanket over him and quietly headed for the door.

They paused a moment and glanced worriedly back before leaving the room.

Once in the hallway, Yellow pulled out the Piglin’s drawing.

Purple had added to it; Blue and Orange were now a part of the group.

For a moment, Yellow curiously studied the golden crown Purple had drawn on top of Orange’s head.

Then Yellow carefully rolled the paper up and put it away.

#Alan Becker #AvA #AvM #Sticks #Stick figures #The Color Gang #Red #Second #Yellow #Green #Blue #Purple #King Orange #King #AU #FlowerBarrel art

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benibevan · 1 year

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to: @supermary64 and @bonetrousled

pls unblock i dont know how this works but basically i made this account some time ago and i didnt really use it but i decided to follow some people anyway but i am kind of dumb so i forgot to set a profile picture and that made me look like a bot and i think you blocked me and i know becus i followed only a few people who i have saved in my internet history but you were in it but not in my following list when i checked the account so i tried to follow again but it didnt let me and i searched what that meant and it said you blocked me but i didnt care becus i didnt want to use it but now i do and i want to see your posts here pls i dont know how this works i am new but i am not from twitter i am from deviantart and pls unblock pls pls pls

pls

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tortured-poets-departments · 2 years

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November 12th, 2021

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babycharmander · 3 years

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If you think you have never stolen artwork, read this post.

So, art theft. If you've been a follower of mine, you've heard my barely-coherent rants about this before, but I thought it might be more productive to make a more coherent post on the subject.

If you're wondering about the title of the post here, it's because I feel like a lot of people aren't really grasping what exactly art theft is, and a LOT of people, even well-meaning ones, do it without even realizing it.

"But wait," you say. "I would never STEAL from an artist!! I never claim it as my own!" And that's all fine and good, but you're missing something here.

To start things off, what IS art theft? (It's not what deviantART said it was several years back, I'll tell you that much. *cough*)

We all know what art is, so let's talk about theft. Dictionary.com defines "theft" as "the act of stealing; the wrongful taking and carrying away of the personal goods or property of another; larceny." Okay, makes sense, but what about that other word there, stealing? Dictionary.com defines "steal" as "to take (the property of another or others) without permission or right, especially secretly or by force."

From those definitions, we can go on to define art theft as, specifically, "taking art without permission or right." In the context of art, that typically involves reposting it (not reblogging--reblogging is different) or using it for other things.

And there, my friends, is the issue.

If something is taken or used without permission, it is stolen. Permission is the important thing here--if an artist says "oh yeah, you can go ahead and use this!" then it's not stolen. You have their permission. But if you DON'T have that, then it IS stolen. It IS theft.

"But I'm not claiming it as my own!" you say. But you don't have to claim it as your own--the act of taking it in and of itself is an act of theft.

"But I said 'credit to the artist!'" The "credit" thing is a whole other conversation, but here's the short of it: The entire point of credit is to direct people to the source of something. If you are not directly linking to where you got the art from, you are not giving credit. "Credit to the artist" is not actually credit of any kind whatsoever. (Also, Google and Pinterest are not sources.)

"But I DID link back to the artist!" Okay, now this is where it may get confusing, because you may think you're covered because you actually did give credit. Here's the problem: if you reposted it or used it without permission, regardless of whether you gave credit or not, it's still stealing.

I'm bolding this because it's a point that a lot of people get tripped up on. Let me explain it this way: If you went into your neighbor's house and took something of theirs without their permission, but you told people "oh yeah, I got this from [neighbor]'s house!" that that would still, of course, be stealing, and it's no different for art.

Another thing is that even when you credit, people don't always check the source. Very recently I found a case where someone had reposted a piece of artwork of mine to Pinterest that was deliberately made to look like it came from the source material (it wasn't meant to confuse anyone, though--the description of my original post made it very clear that it was fanart). The person who reposted had linked back to my original post. The problem? The comments had people asking if this was official, where it happened in the source material, etc. Despite the fact that the source was right there, no one thought to look at it.

Even if you link back to the source, if you did it without the artist's permission, it's still stealing, and still causes problems for us artists.

"But I just posted it to my Pinterest--" DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT POST AN ARTIST'S WORK TO PINTEREST IF YOU DO NOT HAVE THEIR EXPLICIT PERMISSION TO DO SO.

"But this artist friend of mine says they're okay if I post their work to my Pinterest so long as I link back to them!" Good for your friend! But the fact that your friend is okay with it doesn't mean that all artists are okay with it. For me, personally, I am very not okay with my work being posted to Pinterest, and say as much on my art blog description and posts (which people tend to ignore).

The problem with Pinterest--and reposting art in general--is that we artists don't know when it happens unless we're told, or unless we find it ourselves. It causes us to lose control of our art. And because of this, our art can spiral further out of our control, because when our works get posted to Pinterest or other similar websites, people who have no grasp whatsoever on how art works will just take it as "free art" and then use it for whatever they want.

That's how a piece I spent 20+ hours on was used as a poster for a paid event, without my permission, and without any payment or credit to me.

If an artist has said nothing about Pinterest (or other similar image sharing sites), your default should be to assume that they don't want their artwork posted there.

"Well I didn't repost someone's art, but I did use it for my avatar/RPing icon/video/fic cover/photo edit--" That's still stealing. If you're using it without their permission for any reason, that is stealing. Not to mention, the artist may not be cool with what you're using their art for anyway. (Looking at you, people who use platonic art in your shipping videos.)

“I MEANT to ask them for permission, but I forgot!” This can ONLY happen if you used the artwork BEFORE you asked for permission. You can resolve this by asking for permission BEFORE you use it, rather than assuming the answer will be “yes” and using it before asking.

"But it took me a really long time to make that icon/video/cover/edit!!" How long do you think it took the original artist to draw their piece? It doesn't matter how much work you put into modifying someone else's art--if you're doing it without their permission, you're still stealing.

"But I couldn't find the original artist! I tried to find them, I really did, but I couldn't. Is it okay to use their art then?" No, because you still don't have permission, and by reposting it anyway, you’re continuing to make the artwork spiral out of their control.

"What if I found the artist, but they speak a different language from mine? I can't ask them for permission, so is it okay if I repost their art anyway?" NO!! DO NOT DO THIS!! If there is a language barrier, use Google translate or find someone to translate for you and get a hold of the artist that way to ask them for their permission. The language barrier is NEVER an excuse to steal artwork. There are plenty of non-English-speaking artists who have taken ALL OF THEIR ARTWORK OFFLINE because the art theft was completely out of control. (And this isn't just exclusive to English-speakers stealing art from people who don't speak their language. It happens artists who don't speak English stealing art from English-speakers, too, but as this post is written in English it doesn't do much good for me to rant about this here.) If you can’t ask their permission, do not use it!!

"But what about reblogging?! Isn't that the same as reposting?? Should we not reblog art at all then?" No, reblogging (or retweeting) is not the same as reposting. If you reblog art, you keep all the information that we attached to the art, including our blog name and the description attached to the art. Reblogging/retweeting actually helps us artists A LOT, so as long as you're reblogging from the original artist (and not someone who's reposting their art), by all means, reblog our art!

"What if I just want to share someone else's artwork on Discord or show it to a friend?" This one's a bit different and is not actually as problematic. If you want to share our work on Discord or whatever, just link directly to where we posted it. Please don't post the art itself, unless you're doing it alongside a link because Discord won't show a preview or something.

"What about a forum or a site like Reddit?" This one's a bit different, since due to the way Reddit functions, if you LINK to the art, you have to go directly to the artist's original page to view it. (At least, that’s what it’s like the last time I was active there.) In a way it's roughly the same as with Discord--be sure you're linking directly to the actual post rather than just uploading the art on its own--but I would also ask the artist if they're okay with it, because they may be a member of the subreddit or forum and want to post it themselves, or they might not want their work shared to specific communities. (Some communities have a function where a bot will repost the artwork to Imgur, and some artists don't want that done with their art.)

"What if I'm saving it to my computer/phone to look at later, or making it into my desktop/phone wallpaper?" IMO this is fine, since your computer/phone files aren't public, and neither is your wallpaper. It's only a problem when you post it to public places without our permission.

"What if it's art I commissioned?" Well... like... in that case, it's art you paid for, so unless the artist you commissioned laid out very specific terms for you, you should be good to use that art. Like, at most, the artist may ask you to credit them somewhere in your blog description if they drew your icon or something, or credit them in a fic description if you commissioned a fic illustration from them, or something to that effect. It's really something you should have already worked out with the artist beforehand, but for the most part you should probably be fine to use art you paid for however you like.

"What about art I requested?" This is a bit different from commissioned work. Just because the art was drawn at your request doesn't mean it's explicitly yours (unless it's like, a drawing of your original character or something). Some artists take requests more as suggestions, so the art they draw in response to a suggestion or request is still theirs. Treat this as you would any other artwork and ask the artist for permission first before you do anything with the artwork you requested from them.

“What about NFTs?” ... Okay this one I can’t really go over too much because I barely understand it in the first place, but NFTs are BAD for artists and are a form of art theft. Do not turn people’s art into NFTs. This is a crappy thing to do. (If you want more information on this one, you’ll have to look it up yourself. It’s a form of cryptocurrency and it’s confusing.)

“If you don’t want your art stolen you shouldn’t post it in the first place.” This is fascinating logic. Try applying it to something else and see how it holds up. “If you don’t want your merchandise stolen, you shouldn’t open a booth.” “If you don’t want to get poisoned you shouldn’t eat food.” “If you don’t want to get punched in the face, don’t walk outside.” Yes. Flawless logic. Truly.

"Why do you care so much, anyway?! I'm sharing your art because I like it! That's a compliment! Shouldn't you be happy?" Well, we're certainly glad you like our art, but the problem is... as I've said before, reposting our art causes us to lose our control over it. When we lose control of our art, that damages our livelihood. As I said before, other people have made money off of my artwork. As well, some artists lose jobs because when their potential employers check out their portfolio, they may find artwork that's been reposted everywhere online, so they cannot hire the artist because they believe they may have stolen the artwork in their own portfolio.

Your reposting an image you thought was cute to Facebook or Pinterest could cost an artist their job. Think about that.

So, tl;dr, keep this in mind: you need the artist's permission to repost or use their artwork. If you do not have it, it is stealing, even if you credit the artist.

I know this post is really harsh in places, but this is such an important thing for all artists, and there's so many misconceptions about art theft online. And I feel like one of the biggest problems is that when some people see posts on art theft, they ignore them, because they think they've never done it or would never do it, so that's why I worded this post the way I did. I'm not trying to hurt anyone--I just want people to understand what art theft is, how it affects us artists, and how you can avoid it. Thank you for reading.

#long post #psa #drawing #art theft

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symphonyofthewrite · 3 years

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If These Walls Could Talk

Freaking GORGEOUS cover art by Junki Sakuraba on Instagram and Deviantart!! Definitely go check him out!! His art is incredible, and from what I can tell he’s really nice dude. He absolutely went above and beyond with this prompt. 10/10 would commission again. (And probably will once I save up enough money XD)

The wonderful art later in the chaper is by niuan_ on instagram!!

It wasn’t made/commissioned for this fic--(though I’ve since commissioned her to make cover art for me, so stay tuned for those!)--but when I saw it I couldn’t believe it!! That’s one of my favorite images in this chapter, and I couldn’t believe another artist made a piece for the same idea independently!!

I'll put the links to their profiles either in the replies or a reblog (since tumblr is dumb about links)!!

Also, FYI, I'll be using this post as my "reblog post" meaning I'll reblog this post with the later chapters of this fic, so they're all in one place. So if you want to read more of this fic, check the reblogs on this post, chances are more chapters will be there!!

Comments and reblogs are MORE than appreciated!! If you have a spare minute you will really make my week, and motivate me to keep writing!!

Fandom: Castlevania Netflix

Summary: Vampires do not have reflections, and castles do not have hearts. But Dracula is no ordinary vampire, and Castlevania is no ordinary castle. If castles can fight, maybe they can think too.

The series, and Adrian’s childhood, told from the perspective of the castle.

Chapter Summary:

“My mother’s name was Lisa, and she was mortal…She actually showed up at his front door. She found the castle and banged the door with the pommel of her knife…She was remarkable. She beat on the door until my father let her in, and then demanded he teach her how to be a doctor.”

Chapter 1: "Lisa”

“Is this how the castle felt to you before my mother first arrived at your door?”

The castle doesn’t like children.

Well, maybe that’s too strong to say. It simply isn’t the place for them. Its existence is a signpost: leave me alone. It is not used to having company—much less a family—inside it, nor is it ready to welcome for a crying, puking, giggling thing into the world. It does not intend to be a cozy place to coddle him into adulthood.

The castle itself pierces the sky, its turrets and towers the dripping stain of the sun’s blood across the moon.

The bare walls hold no colorful tapestries for a child to enjoy, no paintings of its many inhabitants to tell of—for there was only ever one (and maybe that ought not change. It is safe to say the castle doesn’t like change). The royal red and gold carpets are more suited to kings; not designed for spit-up, mud, and scuffing. ‘Don’t play with that’ would be a motto around here; so many contraptions either easy to break, or which could break the child. The fireplaces, while almost always lit, only ever coughed warmth onto the floor before them—they provided no snug space to curl up on a winter’s day. Even the mirrors here are empty, holding nothing but a reflection of the bare walls they sit upon.

There are certain people who were seemingly born as they are; they never owned toys, never crawled on the floor, never walked with clumsy steps—their footfalls were always this calculated count—never burped on their mother’s nice shirts, and surely never had anything so dull as a childhood. They were always just…here, on the world. There was no innocence, and no losing it. So it was with Dracula.

The very thought of Dracula ever owning toys, even in some nice cottage far away from here, with a doting mother and an absent father, with a funny last name like Cronqvist, defied sense to the castle. So no, no toys here, nor any simple charts for learning; the books divulged their secrets to more mature minds. Just blood and books, gold and gears, forgotten magic means, mirrors that reflect nothing, and a pile of prayers to a good God they used to justify their ungood, and ungodly deeds.

All these things—or their absence—do not make for the picture of a baby-proof home.

The castle has grown accustomed to being cold and dark, and listening to one master alone. It’s not a quaint place lovers look on and think we’ll raise our kids here someday.

Its master isn’t the ideal father either—after all, the castle only reflected its king. Its master knows only of blood and nails, fangs and wails, words too big for a child’s mouth, and worlds too dark for a child’s heart.

Can he be soft? Can he be gentle? Can he keep those claws, which have ripped out better men’s hearts, from piercing a child’s—his child’s…how could one who killed so many have a child?—skin? He knows many spells, but is there one that can turn those screams into laughter?

He has been soft before. Once. And that is with this woman.

Many women have walked the castle’s halls: shivering, shrieking damsels at his feet; cold and calculating queens; fragile bodies on the floor, that he broke with the same regard a child does a vase that matters to someone else.

Those ordinary people who do come often have pitchforks in their mouths, and fiery words in their closed fists. Curses stacked on the end of stakes, banging like the castle is the church bell signifying their own funerals.

It is for this reason that the castle does not like outsiders, does not open its doors easily. But it cannot deny anyone entry. Unlike the humans’ doors, which find his master guilty until proven innocent.

They always came at night. At night, when the loudest sound is your own breathing. At night, when their fires echoed loudest, and their shouts burned brightest.

They came when the flowers were closed, when only the most eerie and vicious of animals played with the skins of their prey, and the moon waxed the world in cold, drunk shine. The sun could not watch them, could not show their blood-struck hands in their full glory.

She came at sunset. When the sun still glazed her deeds in sanguine auburn, but was just deciding to turn its gaze and let the kids have their fun. Not quite day, when the sun would kill things like Dracula, but not quite night, when the hours are named after witches, and lust is strongest—be it for the body, or the blood within it. Somewhere in between death and life, violence and peace.

This woman came with a knife in her hand, yes. But a knife, at least, was not a sword. It was not a pitchfork, a spear, a whip, or a stake; all weapons that signify, if the fight wasn’t there, you were bringing it with you. Not a war-starved weapon, pointing with mal-in—and -con—tent towards the castle doors and all the things inside it. Not a thirsty thing. Something that by default faced the other direction. Something that can start a fight if it wants to, but doesn’t crave it.

The golden woman came at sunset, with a knife in her hand, and looked upon this thing, this castle that others called ‘ugly’, and ‘monstrous,’ and ‘grotesque,’ looked upon it with awe, and gasped in wonder.

She knocked. She didn’t bang her fists upon the stone, didn’t ram pitchforks and assorted insults against the innocent doors, like how-dare-they protect their master.

She knocked, and the doors opened before she could raise her fist a second time. Maybe, just this once, not because they didn’t have any other choice.

The doors—foreboding, menacing, and all the other spooky -ings one can think of—opened to a world strewn in light; the demon’s castle looked brighter, more beautiful, more alive, than half the churches she’d been to.

Her footsteps were gentle against the castle’s floors. Not a slow, forced gentleness, but also not a piercing, purposeful march. There was no apprehension to her footsteps; her feet carried her as if anxious to take her to as many rooms as they could.

At first her steps were the only sound, enough to fool some into thinking they’re alone.

And it became clear both that she was not alone, and not a fool.

But when she saw the demon, she put the knife away, and used her words.

She used her words to repeat those she herself had heard: stories. But not the kind that make monstrous men run at the doors with naughts and crosses, the kind pious people buried along with all evidence that the world wasn’t made of black and white.

Not all the stories told that this place was cold and dark and full of death.

Amongst all the stories about death, there were others that said Vlad Tepes brought this castle to life with science, forbidden knowledge, and a little bit of lightning. Stories that say there is life here.

And, in exchange for proof that these life-stories true, Dracula asked for a trade, a trade that would prove the other stories true too. He gave up the killing a while ago—(the castle has been in one place a very long time)—but he was still not used to giving for free, and definitely not used to getting for free. Vampires trade in blood and names, not diamonds and declarations. Vampires trade in things they can swallow. This castle, too, had been a gaping hole set to swallow the world and everything that entered. Never once had it given.

And she dared to say, that this place, its master, should learn to give, when the humans have done nothing but take from them—or try their best to. He ought to be the one to invite her in, to ask what she would like, to dispense pleasant words and kind actions, when the humans forgot they invented hospitality, and showed no invitation for him to even enter their homes.

But she didn’t come with a mouth full of garlic, and hands full of superstition. Her feet did not drill holes in the floor with their sharp toll, they wandered the scenic route.

She was used to being cheated. Dracula and his castle were too. But that was not why she was there. She was not there for cheap tricks, or death. She wanted something real. A little bit of the life the castle has to offer.

Her defiance wasn’t that of a terrified citizen, or angry queen, either; rather the calm resolve of someone who is asking for something they know in their heart is good, and knows they will get it. The kind of person who believes there is good in everyone, and that this good will ultimately always win, and who won’t leave until they convince this good to show its face.

The castle has watched countless men and women cower at the foot of count Dracula. Some, do have a measure of god-sanctioned defiance; they come with whips and scourges to defeat him. The castle and the king are bound together in their resolve against them.

Except one. Except this woman. One human whom both master and castle found themselves reluctant to deny, cast away, or kill, maybe even…taken with.

She may be human, but she was not like the rest; she did not light the night on fire with her thirst for blood.

So maybe, just maybe, they could let one ray of sunlight slip through the cracks.

She was also not devoid of life, and maybe that was the key.

‘Devoid of life’ was an accurate portrayal of the castle. Bats flying out of blackness is a good description of a cave, and caves don’t usually come with the brochure ‘teeming with life’, or ‘great place to take your kids!’. The castle had a soul-sucking quality to it; those who entered often found themselves leaving less alive than they arrived. It took after its vampire master. Those who didn’t actually lose their lives within its walls, often remarked upon leaving that the flowers bloomed brighter, the birds sang louder, the grass was greener, and that they missed the sunlight.

Sunlight. Such a base thing; vampires don’t need the light or warmth to be happy.

Sunlight. Such a base way to die; wanting to get out of the cold and the dark.

“Is this how the castle felt to you before my mother first arrived at your door?”

Castlevania was alive once. Once Dracula set the pumps, and its heart began to beat. He turned the gears, and its lungs inhaled. He forged the lightning, and it began to think. Once the books, full of unknown knowledge, jumped off the shelves to get the vampire king’s attention. He filled the bottles and beakers, and they bubbled, as if laughing at a joke only they shared.

They were both alive, once.

That waned, with time. The gears got arthritis, the books caught pneumonia, the experiments atrophied. The castle ached before she came.

And Dracula, alone in the halls, picking up books and putting them down again without so much as a polite glance through them, because he read them all before. Dracula looking into fractured mirrors that could take him anywhere, but deciding there wasn’t anywhere he wanted to go. Dracula, looking into old mirrors that don’t reflect him—like there was never anything to reflect, nothing alive here to begin with, and there isn’t a master for this castle after all. Nothing but a grave. Dracula sitting alone in his study, staring into the fire. No one to talk to. No sound but flipping pages and crackling fires—nothing alive. Alive but dead. This castle. Its master. Undead is the proper term.

The other women who came through here reflected the castle, or else the castle took the life out of them the moment they entered. Queens with malice-stained past, and cracked, icy future in their eyes. Just as cold as the walls. Subjects, humans throwing gruesome insults, silky flattery, or fluttering pleas at his feet. Just as empty as the mirrors.

Only one refused the castle’s bite. Only one walked in looking for life, rather than death. Looking for a thing no one thought existed here. Already presumed dead. Put six feet beneath the ground. But maybe it was here all along; maybe the light hid in the castle’s corners while the dark came out to play, and she just had to coax it out of its hiding places. Maybe the bell was ringing all this time, she was the only one who came close enough to hear it; the only one who came to put flowers on the grave.

Maybe when she felt the machinery pumping she knew the rhythm was a heartbeat. Maybe when she heard the gears clanking she knew it was the sound of inhaling and exhaling. Maybe when she saw the lightning, she wondered what it was thinking. Maybe she looked at these books, these instruments, and saw what the vampire king saw once; something alive. They weren’t dead yet—un- or otherwise. Just sick, and in need of proper treatment. She was a doctor after all. Maybe her first subject was the very books she learned from.

Lisa, who looked at this blotch on the sky, with Death in its towers, and darkness splattered on its walls, and thought that’s where I’ll learn to heal people. Lisa, who gaped in amazement at the beast of a building. Lisa, who didn’t shudder upon entering. Lisa, who didn’t scream when its master touched her, but turned to him with calm resolve, and told him she’d teach him to be more human. Lisa, who’s life eclipsed the undeath in this place.

And there was a trade that occurred that day. For Dracula’s immortal knowledge, Lisa would teach him how to live a mortal life. To travel the world as a man, to walks as a man, to eat and drink, laugh and cry, as a man. Immortality for mortality. They gave each other the world, as so many lovers promise to do. Vlad would make her immortal, and Lisa would make him mortal, with no exchange blood.

(Except to create a thing with both their blood running through it.)

So maybe, after all this talk of life, it is fitting that she wants to create life inside this castle.

Fitting, maybe. Fitting for her. But the castle is not mortal yet, and wishes it could protest that it isn’t the right size, refuse to try on the idea.

Dracula is apprehensive as well, for the castle and he are used to each other, they take after each other, because the cold, and the dark, and the death, and the alone does something to you after a while; you start talking to the walls. After the cold queens and quaking colleens leave, or leave their bloodstains the floor. After the beasts and their silver-stained bullets turn back into righteous men in the sun. After he simply outlives everyone else. When all the living things hate, fear, or else betray you, when all the living things can die, and you, who are undead, cannot, it’s the lifeless things that stand firm by your side. When the day ends and the shadows come out to play, when you’re the only one left, in the end you still have the walls. And then…the walls are all you have. And if you talk to them long enough you make a sort of pact, spoken or silent, with those speechless stones: ‘you’re the only one I can trust.’

Dracula speaks to them one day, says he wonders if he can do this, be a father at all, not to mention a good one. The castle cannot reply. But something deep inside the walls wonders if it might be nice to hear Dracula laugh. It might be nice to put on some different clothes. It might be nice for someone new to listen to from time to time. It might be nice to live again.

The castle is concerned. Used to doing things one way, being one way, and only hearing one voice. But that doesn’t mean it is unwilling, that it intends to kill the child.

It never kills anything—Dracula does that. It cannot do anything on its own, and that includes change.

The castle doesn’t like change.

…But that doesn’t mean it won’t.

And if its going to change, its master must change first. They must change together.

Vampires do not have reflections. But Dracula has a castle, and that castle will be damned if it isn’t his mirror.

Reflections are simple to change; put on some makeup, some war paint, a new change of clothes, get a piercing somewhere. Simple, yes, but not easy, to change completely, because that doesn’t mean anything’s changed inside.

The castle did not come equipped for child-rearing; there are no rooms full of toys and cradles and school supplies.

So if this is to be, they must build their son’s world themselves.

Together they set aside a room for the child’s arrival. Just one, single room. And the castle too knows, from the start, this room will be different from all the rest. They will put paintings on the walls, and banners in the halls; things to interest him, to tell him of his parents, at least, even if there are few other relatives to spend Christmas with. The carpets will be darker, instead of the stringent red, and they will make their words smaller, the books easier to understand. The rest of the castle is warm in color, but cool in atmosphere. This room will be cool in color, but warm in atmosphere. The fire will always be set in its place, and they will try their best to make sure the warmth reaches him; if the fire fails, they will knit blankets; if the blankets fail they will make him tea, or warm milk with honey; and when everything else fails they will hold him. If there are tears here, scornful stares will not greet them, instead, kisses and lullabies will be behind door number three. If this room lives, it will be because of something much softer than pounding metal and lighting.

If a child is to live here, they must change that reflection. Everything Dracula’s castle appears to be, this room will be the reverse. Separate. Something… other than the castle.

This room will bottle all the laughter had in this castle. This room will be made of and for living, not the death the rest of the place is steeped in. So much so that this room will not stand for bloodshed.

Lisa brings in supplies from her town; color and cloth, boards and brushes, needle, and thread, and paper; all the things one needs to build a universe.

It is Dracula who takes the paint, who changes the color to something other than the blacks and reds of the rest of the Vampire’s world, cementing on the walls themselves You will not be dark here, my castle. You will be kind to him, Castlevania. The castle doesn’t know its master to work with his hands like a human, but Vlad is not the same within this room either—this room is part of the trade. He doesn’t use magic, or science, as if he is telling himself with every hammer that they are going to change together, the way one does when talking to the mirror.

Lisa sits in a chair and stiches together cloth and fur to make little creatures, toys for the boy to play with. Soft things, not sharp. They are reflections too, littler, simpler ones, of the creatures howling and prowling outside the castle’s walls, or scurrying within them.

But it is the ceiling that is the crowning jewel of the room. Something they paint together—splashing it onto each other’s clothes and noses.

His parents love the stars. They often walk outside the castle walls, fingers knit into each other’s, to gaze at them. They are scholars at soul, and have charted the constellations. They want their child to be able to do the same, to watch the stars, even if he’s not outside. At the end of every day they want him to be sung to sleep by the symphony of the night.

For them, maybe, but to the castle, one of the most interesting things about this room, is the mirror. This is strange, as, while there are other mirrors in this house, they are nothing more than a silver decoration; they have no purpose here, unless they float in shards and possibility. This is an ordinary mirror. It does hold something now, however, and that’s Lisa—only giving more credence to the idea that she is the only living thing in this castle. The castle wonders if they think it will reflect the child, as if they are hoping he will take after his mother and the room.

The mirror, and the windows. In the rest of the castle, the windows are always closed, curtained, or too small to let any real light in. But here they are big, and inviting to all the wiles of the day. Dracula protested—fearing he would burn. Lisa insisted—hoping he would shine.

The mirror, the room, are empty now. The windows closed. The books and charts dormant as the rest. It is not dead, but it’s not alive either. Not even undead. Just a question. An almost.

The room lays on Frankenstein’s table; just one lightning strike—(or one child’s laugh)—away from breathing.

411 notes · View notes

trippin-over-my-fandoms · 3 years

Text

I’ve seen this done before but here are my modern!rdr2 social media headcanons for the Van der Linde gang.

some of these are LONG and then some are shorter. doesn’t mean I love any of them any less however. I just did my best with all of them.

* I treat the gang as family especially for my modern au

Dutch

frequently uses Facebook and has dozens of friends he doesn’t even know. like if he gets a friend request he’ll accept it. John tells him he might as well just make his page public and Arthur pleads with him to make a facebook PAGE so that his random friends will stop liking posts that Arthur tags Dutch in.

Dutch has no idea how to make a facebook page.

he also has a Twitter and a massive following at that. He’s VERIFIED.

all of his twitter posts are vague though

are they a joke? are they political? is it what he’s eating for lunch that day? literally no one knows.

Hosea

also has facebook but doesn’t use it because why does he need to look at pictures of events he was at. he only uses it to see things he didn’t partake in

also has snapchat but just to keep up with the kids

because life360 was too much to deal with for everyone

and snapchat is cool

also he can and will spam you with bitmojis

Arthur

used to use facebook a lot but stopped because he was tired of his posts getting likes from people he didn’t know and friend requests from people Dutch was friends with.

plEASE

he has a private facebook for a reason, he doesn’t want other people to know his business.

he also has an instagram but anything he posts on facebook also goes on there. it’s not aesthetic or pretty or anything and he doesn’t even caption over half his pictures.

he literally only uses social media so that his friends and family know he’s alive

has snapchat because of Hosea but barely knows how to use it

doesn’t get why everyone wants to use snapchat when teXTING AND CALLING ARE RIGHT THERE

John

the question is what doesn’t he have.

john has been trying to make it big on social media since youtube came out.

his youtube used to have videos on it but he deleted them because they were cringy and arthur liked to send them to the group text.

plays twitch games on the weekends and sometimes with Jack but he thinks most of the subscribers are there for his kid since most of his solo streams don’t do as well

has a twitter, doesn’t follow Dutch, literally envies that he’s verified.

he’s tried everything but no matter what he does nothing pans out

uses tiktok to promote twitch streams

instagram feed is mostly selfies of him but 99.9% of the time he’s wearing sunglasses and the caption is some random quote

also has facebook but only to appease Arthur and Dutch, he doesn’t even have a profile picture. Claims only boomers use it.

an avid reddit user. if he’s got problems he’ll go to reddit. claims reddit saved his life. everyone’s tired of the story so they stopped asking.

also uses snapchat more than he should and the only social platform he has more than 100 followers on.

Charles

same as arthur and has both facebook and instagram and posts the same on both except his are pleasing to look at.

they’re unintentionally aesthetic

he uses a psd on all his pictures and won’t share what it is

has monthly life updates that start with some inspirational or deep quote and then text that pushes the instagram word limit

also has a deviantart , has shared psds there before , constantly tries to convince Arthur to get it.

used to use tumblr but he forgot about it

Abigail

the definition of a facebook mom. 80% of her facebook posts are about Jack or parenting.

Instagram is similar but also different, she’s actually a relatively successful influencer with over 1,000 followers.

all of her friends and family (who have instagram) follow her

has snapchat solely for the cute bitmojis and to send John adorable snaps of Jack playing with all the fun filters.

she also won’t take a selfie unless it’s with snapchat because she no longer trusts her own camera.

also uses pinterest and has a collaborative board with all the ladies.

but in general, on her own, she has too many boards. she uses pinterest for EVERYTHING

Sadie

bold of you to assume she uses social media.

she does just not a whole lot.

checks it once in the morning and once at night.

except pinterest because how dare Abigail get her into it. but even pinterest she only uses in downtime.

has facebook and instagram but there’s maybe only five posts.

if anything she’ll post on her story

will only snap Abigail and Arthur otherwise she doesn’t use snapchat

all of the social apps are mostly offloaded on her phone anyways

if she needs to know anything she just checks the group text which she has on do not disturb because they text way too much.

Molly

she’s verified on instagram

it’s also the only social platform she’ll use, which frustrates Dutch because he wants to be friends with her on facebook

but she’s happy with just instagram

she keeps it simple

and the main theme to her posts are fun outfits in her ever expanding closet

the other posts are usually of plants that she’s managed to grow. she’s not the best at being a plant mom but she’s still a good one to the ones she’s managed to keep alive.

the only thing she contributes to the pinterest board are her own pictures of her plants which are overly aesthetic.

Karen

started out with a normal instagram account then made a spam account which she ended up using way more often.

all of her posts are extremely chaotic

and usually reposts from her snapchat

has a reddit just to troll John

reposted his cringy youtube videos to reddit and got hundreds of upvotes

if you wanna see the most raw and chaotic videos of Arthur and John then she’s the one to follow.

also if you wanna see Abigail when she’s not all put together.

is the reason there’s so many memes in the collaborative pinterest board

Mary-Beth

has a instagram but also has a second instagram for art and book reviews

or basically anything she’d post on her tumblr

which is her second most used social

also uses facebook but only because she is an admin for one of those multifandom blogs.

also begs Arthur to get a deviantart.

uses pinterest most but only second to Abigail

literally the queen of pinterest DIYs

Micah

has twitter

as far as anyone else knows that’s all he has

maybe he has snapchat?

maybe they saw him on snapmaps once?

all he ever does with twitter though is retweet anything Dutch posts.

yet somehow he has so many followers.

Lenny

anyone who has snapchat has streaks with Lenny

even Hosea who doesn’t understand why it’s a thing

he also posts a lot on facebook but it’s mostly travel or vacation photos everyone is just a tad jealous of.

Lenny always seems to be busy but still has time for streaks with his friends.

he’s also an up and coming youtube vlogger

Sean

also has reddit to troll john

but he also legitimately uses it too.

he’s also really popular in the minecraft subreddit , don’t ask

also has twitch and also has way more subsribers than John

and a youtube which he’ll upload (overly edited) twitch streams to

everyone subscribes to him but they don’t tell John that.

also has a tiktok and is up to date on all the trends because of course he is

Kieran

got facebook when he was 10 and just never left.

literally doesn’t use any other social media

he’s not in the group text either so he has to facebook message Arthur to know what’s going on.

but he shares a lot of memes and cute pictures of animals

he used to follow Dutch but unfriended him when he was the only thing he ever had on his activity feed.

Susan

has facebook but claims she doesn’t have time to use it

Arthur knows this to not be true because she will like a lot of his posts.

she’s also guilty of liking every single picture in one post or album.

Arthur has also caught her looking at memes and using recipes she finds on there.

also part of the pinterest board but never contributes.

Trelawny

he has an account for everything

litereally

everything.

even whatsapp and linked in and kik

even tinder

the only one anyone knows about are his facebook, twitter, and instagam

but there’s no posts on any of them except twitter

he’s also verified

but for unknown reasons

any posts on his facebook are ones he’s tagged in

he’s also in a lot of facebook groups

Strauss

runs a subreddit

a paid facebook admin of several pages

the only person who actually knows this is Dutch because Strauss has told him about it

he has no online presence whatsoever out side of those.

Javier

spotify king

has over 500,000 subscribers on youtube

uses instagram but as another platform for his music

edits his own album covers

top tier playlists too

Tilly

aesthetic queen

the most put together and pleasing to look at instagram feed next to Charles.

uses pinterest a lot as inspiration and for making moodboards.

also uses tumblr to share moodboards

part of the sims global community facebook group

she keeps saying she’s going to start a youtube vlog but hasn’t yet

keeps trying to convince John to let her help him with his youtube.

she also uses twitch to play minecraft and sims

oh and she set up a minecraft server for everyone

Bill

facebook boomer

that’s it

I don’t know how else to put it

probably shares heavily republican posts

Swanson

didn’t use social media until tiktok.

he doesn’t do dances or anything but he does post weirdly obscure and chaotic videos that end up trending on more than one occasion

it’s usually drunk ramblings in his car that end up being hilarious

or videos of the others almost dying or ending up in the ER

Pearson

facebook boomer but make it cool.

also shares conservative posts but less offensive ones compared to Bill’s

likes almost every post any of his friends share

also comments on them too

Uncle

does he have social media? no one knows for sure.

yet somehow he knows what’s going on

even if nobody can find any of his social accounts or have ever seen him using one before let alone doing anything on his phone other than playing cheesy mobile games.

221 notes · View notes

artgirllullaby · 3 years

Text

Chapter 16: After Shards

There is much stuff i want to say about this update, but not enough space. So I decided to make an author Notes close to the end.

For now I wanna thank everyone who was patient, understanding and welcoming me. Many of you probably forgot this existed, some stopped around to ask how I was doing, and i'm thankful for it.

You guys have no idea how your reviews and knowing i had to complete this had saved my life. And I say this more than I really would like to admit. Your reviews, comments and messages were the line to bring me back to end stuff many times. For that, thank you.

Thank you every single one of you who stop by, leaving a comment, review or not. You who take few minutes to read what I'm writing, those of you who are silently lurking and hoping for an update, this is for you. Thank you for existing, thank you for saving my life in more ways than i can ever put in words.

Thank you.

Now let's get back on where we left, shall we?

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20

You can read Ever After at Ao3 | FF.net | DeviantArt and on Tumblr, feel free to go read where it pleases you the most

Chapter 16: After Remembrance

"So let me see if I got it…" Janna said crossing her legs on Marco's bed, he tried not to get annoyed on her dirty sneakers on his sheets given he was asking a favor to her "You want me to perform some kind of witchery-"

"Enchantment." Marco corrected.

"Whatever, you want me to try to make magic in a world that has become void of it to recover your girl?"

Marco shifted on his computer chair replying with an awkward "Yes?"

His childhood friend frowned a bit in deep thought, "Don't get me wrong Marco, but how in the hell am I supposed to do that?!" resting a bit back on his bed she continued "you said yourself that when she left it also erased not only her existence but every trace of magic here, including my own magic as you say. How would I be able to use magic if there's none around or in me?"

"You see, here is the catch. I don't think you're completely void of it."

Janna exchanged looks with his dog before both of them looked back at him as if they were reconsidering the option of calling the hospital to take him in.

"OK, let me explain." He took a breath, "When Star had come to this dimension, we had no idea that magic truly existed. In fact, there is- or at least had by then, a bunch of magic creatures living among us and we had no idea because we were used to our routines and livelihood. But Star had to adapt and she had to question and understand everything and while she had to discover and learn, she ended up showing and doing the same for us."

Janna rested her chin on her hand in a tedious position "Your point being?"

"My point is that there was magic here before Star came along. Magic that was from here, from Earth. Like, very low and not much, but once was enough to connect our worlds and dimensions, then we can do it again."

"That… kinda makes sense." She agreed with a nod "But if she blocked the other side it would still be impossible."

"She might have blocked the way directly to Mewni and other dimensions I knew the way over. But it's impossible for her to have blocked all dimensions back and forth."

"So what? Your plan is to go aimlessly into a random dimension and find a way over into another until you jump onto Minnie?"

"Mewni, and yes. I will get the right way eventually. I know I will." Marco said determinedly, "I had to hunt down the entity that was responsible for creating the material for transportation through the dimensions and I did it. If I was able to do that by then, nothing will stop me from reaching out for Star. And I know for a fact, there's a place that connects all dimensions."

A place that once almost got destroyed by desperation and naiveness, by that's another story and a detail he didn't need to disclose right now.

"Except the fact I can't use magic." Janna reminded him.

"Not really, that's what I am trying to say. Star might have cut or blocked the magic traces that were unnatural from here, but she can't get rid of what is natural."

"Uh…" Janna squinted her eyes, having trouble understanding "I kinda get your point, but not what you aim at…"

"Look, think about this like… the seasons!"

Janna gave a flat look as if that seemed more confusing but gestured to him to go on.

"You see, in Spring it's the prosperous time, when flowers grow, fruits are there and things blooms, then comes summer and while the temperature is high, we still can get the supriments spring gave us, then comes autumn and that's when the hard time comes. Leaves fall, fruits are not that much, some plants die, all while we prepare to the winter, when it's cold and we need to survive without much food-"

Janna facepalmed herself "You know that's totally not how it works, right?!"

"Just listen!" He sighed "after the time at lowest, what comes next?"

"Spring?"

"Exactly!" Marco replied her bored tone with excitement, "It comes the time when it flourishes again! You understand?! It's a cycle!"

Janna frowned, understanding his logic but still questioning it "You think Star speeds up the cycle?"

"She did something. Knowing or not." He shrugged, turning to her once more "Nature finds a way. It will make magic flow again, if it follows the seasons or not I have no idea, but I know it does follow a cycle. He have magic in our history, we got historical events that none can explain, and that follows some impact, and it goes around the world not just a place particular, and we had quiet times and then the new things again and-"

"Breathe, boy" Janna said standing up and sighing a bit as she forced Marco to sit down and take a moment, "Did you take your medicine?"

"We don't have time to-"

"We made a deal." She crossed her arms standing up in front of him as she looked at him sternly from his bed. "You keep yourself sane and under the medical conditions, as long as you're stable and healthy I'm willing to help you." The dark-haired girl looked around and asked again, "So, did you take your meds?"

Marco sighed and thought for a moment, "I did take them this morning." He looked at his phone for a moment and took a breath of redemption, "It is a bit past the time for me to take some I guess…"

"Well, then." His childhood friend gestured to the door, so he could go ahead and get the medicine wherever they were. Marco did as she suggested, knowing she was asking for the best of him and she was indeed looking out for his health. The last thing he needed now he was getting his memories back and was determined to find Star, was to have a breakdown and lose control (his last one was still healing in his eyebrow), he ain't got time for that.

He got his meds and went to the kitchen taking a cup of water as Janna promptly got herself to sit on the couch with Barko Jr. After taking his meds and sitting on the couch he was about to continue when Janna gestured him to wait.

"Take a breath. You were getting anxious, so take a few minutes. I'll wait."

"We don't have time for this, Janna."

"Then you're gonna have to deal with this alone." She looked at him, her face completely serious, "We made a deal, and I'll make sure you stand your word even against your own wishes."

Marco huffed, dropping himself on the couch "What is this, your crush on me is back?!"

"Hm, kinda. Considering you're the best candidate? Maybe." At his unbelievable stare she smirked "What? You can see me dating Alfonso? Ferguson? Jason?! ugh, no. The girls aren't much better and the hottest take went halfworld away" Janna made a dramatic gesture "So I might as well take care of my last option in case the worst happens."

"Wow, thanks" Marco replied to her in a sarcastic tone.

"You're welcome. Don't worry, once our kid gets my talent and hits big, that will make me meet my true guy. I'll dump you right away."

Marco frowned "I really have no idea if you're serious or not."

"Me neither" Janna replied.

He looked at her in complete confusion and decided to let it go since it wasn't going anywhere. Taking some breaths instead as he watched the clock he was able to feel himself calming down slowly and organizing his own thoughts.

"You had always liked spooked stuff, remember?"

"So what?" Janna said, turning to lay with her feet up, "Does that have to do with anything?"

"Remember the time church used to hunt witches and other beings, but mostly witches?"

"Yeah, many women got killed, they never apologized and all that jazz… Why are you giving me a history lesson?"

"You are a descendant of the Witches…" He frowned "I don't remember quite much clearly yet, but… I remember you found out one ancestor of yours was hunted down, claimed to be a witch and got to escape, you found there actually two types of such thing and used Star magic to… Do something… I can't remember well, but I know you used her magic to make your own flow again from the sleepy state it was in."

Janna sat straight and looked at him in shock "Are you telling me, I'm magic?"

Catching her tone of both disbelief and sassiness, Marco joked back at her "You're a Wizard, Janna."

"I'm a what?"Janna whispered before laughing with him, "Seriously, you're telling me I'm a witch?"

"Pretty much. You used to say the others called you something else because they didn't consider you one of them, but you got it."

Janna stood up and paced slowly in the living room, murmuring to herself as she was making her own conclusions from the information he gave.

"OK, if what you say is true, then there might be a way to awaken what was inside of me. I mean, she didn't destroy the magic, she just erased what existed from her existence, right?"

"I guess? I don't know that much actually. It's just a theory"

"That makes sense," Janna prompted "if she truly had erased every magic or destroyed then that would erase even the ones who weren't involved with her… Like your dog and, well, me."

"You?"

"It's just as you say, if I already had a bit in me, even if too little to make a difference, doesn't change the fact I got it and could try to do again what I did last, if she had went far enough it would have erased the existence of those who have some magic connection in them, me." She pointed out.

"So you think you can do it?"

Janna smirked, grabbing her purse and fishing for her phone as she began to type "Only one way to find out."

It was weird enough how her mother had been hovering over her lately, but having Tom, Ponyhead and Kelly aside every other person around to do the same was becoming maddening.

Star knew she had been sick, whatever her cough was, made everyone worried since they didn't find a solution. It was recurring more and more, if she coughed in front of them there was a desperation to show in their eyes so quickly she had to find out what they were hiding.

The little petal in her hand told her it was a lot more than they let her know.

The doctors have told her if she ever coughs something, she has to go to them immediately, and so her friends often offered to give her a doctor if there was any signal of her cough…

If she wanted to find out what was going on, she couldn't trust either side about the petals in her cough.

Besides they should be busy and worried about something else, she was getting married soon for the sake of her kingdom, they should be trying to find a way out of the war menace.

Just like she should be if she wasn't busy organizing a wedding ceremony she would rather not have anyways.

"Why do we have to make it big?!" She moaned tiredly to her mother.

"You're a princess, simple as that. The people need to know and have security for their new king, the wedding it's not just about tying laces, but also about showing the people you have a ground and know what you're doing, in the fateful decision you're making by marrying this man." Moon replied and put her papers down.

"Can we like, make an agreement, sign stuff and bep bop do? No one is interested in anything else aside from keeping Mewni safe at this point."

Moon turned to her and took a breath, "Is that why you agreed to the marriage?"

"Well, yeah…" the princess replied, turning away from her mother. "It's not like I had many choices anyway."

"I'm really sorry for all of this Star…" her mother replied with a sad voice, "Of all people, I really wish you had the chance to make the choice like I did in my time."

"You're not helping much…" Star observed looking at another stupid list of things to get for a wedding. Why did they need a golden cornucopia?!

"I know… That's why I invited someone that knows about this to talk it out with you."

Turning to her mother, her eyes turned curious "Who did you invite?"

Moon smiled at her, "It's a surprise."

She rolled her eyes and continued to look in her to-do list about what there was to still afford for the ceremony. She couldn't wait until the papers had been over so she could get to…

To what?

Star shook her head and tried to focus again. There was no one for her to meet after that, she had been so sleepless and stressed about things happening that she had been catching herself into errands that didn't exist or lost in corridors trying to find a room that wasn't there.

Maybe she should see a doctor after all.

Marco stood blinking at a board that Janna made with pins, pictures, lists and scribes around and even a red string that connected to a question mark.

"Uh… what am I looking at?"

Janna sighed, "You're looking at the fact that you were right." Crossing her arms she looked away "Damn I was hoping you weren't so on point."

"What does the criminal board have to do with this?"

"This is an investigation board, thank you very much." Janna said and pointed at her notes, "I went around my stuff to figure out the blanks points or odd stuff that I couldn't remember how happened or that the explanation was just plain weird."

Marco frowned at a picture of her and pointed, "What does a picture of you in a pink dress have to do with this?"

Snatching the picture from his hand, Janna followed her notes as if there was never the said picture there, "So there are a lot of those blanks around like, why the heck I have a recipe for cupcakes? I don't even cook, and if I did, I wouldn't be interested in cupcakes!"

Marco looked around the said notes noticing the odd that Janna was mentioning. She was right about most of them, the pictures of scenarios and selfies were not her thing, just like notes on clothing, books, and… that Korean version of Twilight?

"What matters is that you're right. Whatever I had in me or that composed those pictures enough to make me interested, was changed."

He nodded, "and how are you finding proof I was right to help us?"

"It helps because I began to look into my stuff to see if I could find anything else and, BOOM!" Janna shoved her phone in his face.

"A… contact list?" He asked, confused.

"Yep. I went through my contact list, I don't know the majority of these names and some weren't even real numbers like this… Thomas the Train?! Why do I have the number of a toy train to begin with?"

Marco tried to bring her focus back again, "Well, and did you find anything that helped us?"

Janna began to tap her phone again, "Actually, I did!"

Turning the phone to him again Marco was to stare at the eyes on the screen looking right back to him. It was a woman a bit older than them, she was red haired and skin a bit paler than his, her brown eyes blinked at him then she smiled and waved at him from the screen.

"Tami, meet Marco. Marco, this is Tamir LesTrange" Janna said, motioning between them.

"Hello!" Tami said, smiling from the other side.

"Hi…" he replied and looked at Janna, "how exactly is she supposed to help?"

Janna put her phone on his table where the stranger could see them both, "Tami remembers what I can't, or at least most of it. To begin with how we meet and what we are."

"Hey! I thought you said you believed in me saying you were a witch?"

There was a giggle and Marco realized it came from the screen, "There's a difference between believing and fact checking," Tami explained, "she was trying to recover what was lost in the spell of your friend."

"Wait, you remember too?!"

"Kinda" the red haired replied, "your theory of Earth's own magic isn't completely wrong, but also has some fantasies into it. I can remember what is related to me, Janna and the betweens, but if you ask me specifically about that friend of yours, well, I'm afraid I'm not much help." She shrugged embarrassed.

"So, how can you help us then?"

This time Janna replied to him, "Dude, she's a Witch."

Marco blinked twice at Janna and then at the phone before letting a gasped "Whaaat" escape his lips.

"A witch, Marco." The other laughed, "Oh boy, Potter references never get old!" The red haired girl shook her head and continued "I'm one of the natural magic users from Earth, see?"

On a movement with her hands, there was a wave of energy that made some stuff on her desk float before getting down again by another gesture to make it disappear.

He looked at the lady's hands in shock. It was one thing to know magic existed and have memory of it, but to see it was something completely different. To see the proof in a live video of another magic user was… almost unbelievable.

Wow, he gets why the others had trouble believing him.

"OK, Tami, can you explain what you told me before to him?" Janna asked.

"Why don't you say it?" She questioned.

"I forgot already."

With a sigh, the woman on the other side began to speak to Marco. "As I told Janna, your theory is in the right way, but not quite. Our world is about cycles, from the survival and animal one, to life and magic one. So yeah, there are parts of history that magic is stronger and others that are not, but aren't related to seasons, but with world history itself and around."

"World history?"

"Yep!" Tami nodded, "It's one of the biggest and sadly most natural occurrences in humanity, history repeats itself. Kind of like a curse even. People study history to not make the same mistakes, but while they do, the other part is making up and learning that stuff and find themselves agreeing with the past and making their own conclusions to do over again and as a result it happens again."

"That… is awful, is there nothing to do?"

"It's human nature. To find themselves in a group and try to engage into their battles to survive and the goals to fight against the opposition. The only way to stop the cycle would be to put everyone in a stance of ultimate survival: work together or die."

"Like stone age." Janna replied.

Marco shook his head to focus again, they could talk about history lessons later "What does this have to do with the magic?"

"Oh yeah!" The woman said changing her sitting pose "Well, the reason is because once there was a limited or over-limits magic on Earth is pretty simple, the Inquisition and Witch hunting events."

"So the Inquisition was right?"

"Nope." Both women replied and Janna continued, "they did kill a lot of innocents while hunting. Most people dead weren't related to magic even, or didn't even know."

Marco tried to follow their line of thought "Uhh… That means?"

"That means that, whatever your girlfriend did, she can't change history. She at most repressed what was already around. So we can recover the state to what it was and make magic flow around Earth, however I don't know about the portals stuff, that was never knowledge of our world magic."

"We still have to try." He replied determined, ready to get up. "It's the best chance We- I have to."

"Easy there, Romeo." Said Janna pushing him back down to his bed, "So far we gave you the good news."

He sighed, of course it wouldn't be that easy. "Ok, tell me the bad news."

"Well, for beginners…" Janna started, "Thomas the Train it's not the only contact missing. There's a bunch of them, for both me and Tami."

Tami looked at him with a sad smile, "That's true. And while I'm good friends and a mentor to Janna, I'm still a minor witch. In fact, Janna was stronger than I was. I lost contact with the Witches and other creatures more or less around the data your friend had cut the magic flow."

"Did something happen to them?" Marco asked in worry.

"I don't think so." The witch replied "I think they sensed something to come and took the ways to be safe, even if we lost contact with others. They probably left the others safe from consequences out of it, like Wiccas and minor witches, and in Janna's case, an illegitimate Witch."

"Illegitimate witch?" Marco asked his friend.

"Long history to another history and time. Now," Janna said, focusing back on the matter, "the point is, all the people who have better knowledge on Earth magic or how we could make the portal thing work again are out of reach and the others who are left aren't powerful enough to connect to other worlds."

Marco crossed his arms and thought for a while, looking between a magicless-witch Janna and the witch on the phone before an idea struck him again. "What if we reunited you?"

"What?" Both of them asked.

"Alone you can't do much, but… United, maybe we could bring enough power to make a connection, even to another world…" Marco took his magical scissors out of his pocket and showed them "From there I can get to other places until I reach the right one to get to Mewni."

"YOU HAVE AN INTERDIMENSIONAL SCISSOR?!" Tami screamed from the other side of the phone "Damn, you were someone important! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get one of these? A human even?!"

"I have vague memories of it." Marco shrugged, smiling sincerely to her "So, we can get contact with others you girls find and reunite to try to make these work, how about it?" Tami smiled sadly at him again and Marco could already sense the bad news again, but this time it was Janna who let out a sigh as she crossed her arms.

"You think I didn't want to meet her or bring her here for a reason? Would have been a lot easier and better" She pouted.

He looked at Tami questioning in silence what Janna meant, but observing the scenery behind her, more specific about what he thought until then it was a poster until the moment he saw a bird flying there, it dewelled him the reason of why Janna was upset and the bad news.

Marco let out a groan as he hid his face in his hands, to which Tami confirmed in voice what he just concluded, "I'm in Japan."

"And as far as we had been, well, mostly her since they refuse to talk to an illegitimate witch with no powers, most wiccans and witches left are in the same situation. We are scattered around the world" Janna replied.

He let his back fall into the bed and groaned louder. It could not be easy, could it?!

When she was told she had visitors, Star had expected to be one of her friends checking on her again for the fifth time that week, or maybe even a surprise visit from a messenger from her fianceé kingdom with more stuff arranged or to be arranged for the wedding.

She didn't not expected to meet Eclipsa sitting in the garden drinking tea as she waited for her.

"Oh dear!" Eclipsa smiled "There you are! It's so good to see you! Come sit!"

Confused, Star obliged to what the other queen requested, "Hi Eclipsa… I'm sorry I wasn't expecting you."

"Really?" She replied surprised, "Your mother invited me, I thought you do know."

The princess blinked confused, "You were the one she told me about? I didn't know. She just said it was someone I could talk about and it was a surprise."

"Well, she told me about what you had been dealing with and… I can understand. I think from all the people I'm the closest that can understand you, that's probably why she told me to come talk to you."

So that was it. Her mother was still worried, despite her doctor saying she was ok and that she agreed with the meanings behind the wedding. Yes, she was still trying to find a way out of the war menace, but it was more a precaution and safety than anything else. Besides, so far the plan is going very well and… If it came to worse than she had to make sure someone was left to look after what she left.

"I'm fine, really." Star sighed.

"It's natural for a mother to be worried, more so in this case in which the daughter was forced into a decision she wasn't ready or didn't want to take." Eclipsa replied "It's a different situation, but we both had to go with the decision for outside factors."

It was only then that Star was reminded of the fact that Eclipsa was married before Globgor, despite already being with him and having her relationship established. Solaria didn't accept their relationship and arranged her wedding with a prince from a fellow kingdom in hopes that the marriage and kingdom obligation would make Eclipsa forget her forbidden passion for a monster of all people. Star didn't know much details aside from the fact that Globgor broke his promise to never feed himself from human flesh again by consuming Chastican, getting away to have Meteora and get captured shortly after and separated for all those years.

So far, Eclipsa was really the one who could understand the situation the most, even if the reasons for the arranged marriage were different, neither had been out of love, but because the obligations of the crown required so, for the safety of the people. For Eclipsa, because the former queen's prejudice against monsters was so powerful, she took a blind eye to who she put her daughter with. For her, because the war menace was a risk to the whole of Mewni and other possible dimensions and kingdoms Mewni had been in peace, not to count the possible multiverses.

She looked up to Eclipsa again, the queen being patient in Star taking her time to speak if she wished. Eclipsa has always been a kind heart that didn't deserve what happened to her. Star was really glad she was able to help get Eclipsa's happy ending by letting her rule the Monster Castle, which was her rightful place given Globgor once was the king of monsters. Maybe she couldn't fix the time and all that happened, but she could at the very least help.

Besides, it was a great help given that monsters and Mewmans still had much distaste on each other to just live together magically, it needed time to adapt, and so far having the kingdoms nearby with a free pass to both sides was showing to be really helpful. Even those who disliked the idea, at the very least respected the new ways of living… Well, after the battle that is.

Eclipsa also had been kind to them by giving the Crown back and rebuilding Mewni. So now they could rule together and work so both kinds would live and work together, the progress has been promising so far. Both crowns had been working hard to make it possible to unify in the future.

"Do you think…" Star said unsure "Am I doing the right thing?"

Eclipsa thought a bit, "There's no way we can know. For as long as I know you, Star, you have been writing the history your own way, taking what you thought was best by following your heart but taking your mind into it." She smiled at the princess "You proved yourself over and over again, you showed every single one that you can do more than one can imagine and even yourself. When we think you're done, you come with something new and that is what makes you the best queen of us all. Even now, I have no doubt you have something in your mind of how you can make things right and fix, and if you don't have the answers… you're on the way there." She looked into Star's eyes and smiled "Am I wrong?"

For the first time in a long time, Star smiled. Eclipsa had her right, she was trying to find a way to fix things up… But she didn't know the cost of it. And if she were to admit…

"I am scared." Star replied.

"I would think it weird of you not to be. You're about to face something new, but then again, you can always overcome the obstacles given. You and Marco."

Star blinked, her heart racing to the name familiar and dearly but yet new to her. She repeated in a whisper to her lips, she could even see the image of a boy with a red hoodie over his head…

A loud childish laughter distracted her. Both of them looked beyond their table to where Globgor was playing with Meteora and… Since when Eclipsa had another child? Star felt her chest tight and the coughs coming up, but she couldn't take that since the feeling of dread and anxiety had been washing over her. To the memory of her holding the other girl as a newborn baby, to her older brother introducing them, and the images flooding back.

Her head hurt, breathing was hard, and she couldn't even walk in a straight line when she got up abruptly to leave the garden abandoning the worried calls of the other queen. She just had to leave that place. She had to be quiet and think, she had to…

Remember.

She remembers now. The friendship, the love, the heartbreak. Earth, the school, her friends, the time spent between dimensions, the fights and all that came along. She remembers him always by her side and their hands together, she remembers his little sister, who they had promised to let grow with Meteora again, she remembers Diaz, who asked to be called as her parents too, she remembers why the earrings were so important. She remembers Angie telling her goodbye and Rafael holding her close…

She was so stressed up by then she didn't get to think about Mariposa, who wasn't around and didn't get mentioned by them.

She feels the tears on her eyes and coughs some more petals as she falls on her knees. She remembers the sickness and what happened. She remembers why it's so important that the plan works and she gets someone to take care of what's left once she's gone…

Eclipsa steps behind her carefully, and kneels to the ground, trying not to scare her after how she fled the garden. Her hand makes gentle circling motions until Star is calmed enough to speak if she wishes.

"Mariposa…" Is all she can say.

Eclipsa bites her lip and sighs, deciding to say once for all. "As you know, after how well Meteora and her bonded, we agreed with Diaz to have them grow together. The vacations here and school time on Earth… Since me and Globgor were going on the vacation trip early and Mariposa wasn't in school yet, we invited her to come."

Star slowly turned to look at Eclipsa as she continued, still sniffing for what she was about to hear, "That's when they contacted us and told about what was to happen. We spoke to Moon too and… We talked. A lot. So we decided that Mariposa was taken care of by us, and Diaz sent all her material to study, and also things to be remembered by. We thought about moving to Earth or they moving here, but… It didn't solve the problem in the end. Angie said they had Marco to take care after, and they had been parenting once, they would miss Mariposa everyday, but it would be the best. Rafael agreed they couldn't take Meteora away from us to take care of given she had magic, and that we had been apart for so long and we finally had our second chance…"

"So Mariposa is trapped in here."

"Mariposa is growing up with Meteora…" Eclipsa sighed, "She's too young to understand she can't go back to Earth. We have all the stuff from her to know and we're gonna tell her, but…" The queen took a breath, "The Evanescent magic took effect here too… Mariposa doesn't remember anything about Earth aside from what we told her."

Star choked as she started crying harder, she didn't mind to know if the petals were choking her or the tears, believing she deserved at this point. She just tore a family apart and erased a little girl's memory of her own family. Mariposa didn't remember her family back on Earth and by this she could only guess that the portals cutting severed those ties and by that maybe the Diaz couldn't remember her too.

She deserved to suffocate on those petals.

Now that she thought about it, the Diaz were looking into a family album when she left… They weren't looking into her pictures only, but the ones with Mariposa.

"What have I done?!" Star whispered crying in pain "Why no one told me?!"

"Oh dear…" Eclipsa caressed her head "You had already so much… None of us wanted to give you that pain and burden. It was a parenting decision for adults to take, and we did. We didn't want you to take the blame or responsibility."

"What for?!" Star continued to cry "How can I ever forgive myself from separating her from her family, for her losing her memories? for them to lose their daughter?!"

Eclipsa smiled sadly and was about to speak when she saw someone else in the room. Star looked up to see the little girl with brown skin and the cute mole as her brother, those big brown eyes confused looking at them as she slowly approached, her hair a bit longer than she remembered and she looked at Star sad.

"Don't cry…" She said, patting Star's face.

Star smiled sadly, trying her best to not scare Mariposa as she picked her up and hugged tightly, she looked so much after her brother it hurt. She continued to whisper how much she was sorry until she began to calm down.

Eclipsa stayed there supporting Star by staying by her side simply. It didn't miss her eyes the smudged makeup that covered the broken hearts, nor the petals on the floor.

Janna walked into Marco's room letting out a whistle. There were papers all around, his computer open with at least thirty tabs open, there were scribbles, notes, and red strings on the floor, maps, pictures and even other stuff that Janna didn't pay attention to in the middle of her process.

"I understand why you weren't surprised with my board now."

Marco chuckled as he marked something in another note, "I'm the crazy guy, remember? This is organized close to how my mind had been before. I don't like to admit it, but those pills do help."

"Are you taking them, by the way?"

"Yup." Marco took the bottle out his pocket and shook so Janna could see and hear the pills inside before he put back in his pocket, "They are necessary, so I take them. I wish I didn't have to? Yes, but for now I need them and that's it."

Janna clapped to him and Marco rolled his eyes. He knew medicine was important, and took time for him to accept he needed the mental medicine just like any other sick person would need. If they were for the heart he would take them, so why not take them for his brain?

"You said you had news." The former witch replied, trying to step further into the room, "Is this it?"

Marco got up and bit his marker end thinking a bit more into how to voice his thoughts.

"I think I know how to open the portal." Janna stopped in her tracks, not daring to make any movement until he continued "If this place was once connected to Mewni through magic, it means it should be connected again, even if just a little. Might not be enough to create a portal, but the magic is already in both places, Earth is already connected to the magic dimensions as so. We could reunite a number of people to try to gather enough energy for the scissor to work, but even so might not be enough, and focusing them on one place might not help the magic to keep flowing."

His friend decided it was safer to step back and lean on the doorframe, "Ok, so, we need to reunite or not?"

"We need everyone to stay where they are." Marco replies nodding "If you had been scattered all around the world, there might be a reason for it. Tami said that the natural course is that the flow comes back little by little and the other witches and whatever are waiting the time for it, so I thought, 'what if that's it?' you know?" Marco said happily. Janna blinked slowly to him and continued her deadpan stare so he could continue for her to understand. "She cut the unnatural magic, her own and what came with her, the witches might have been influenced by the flow of her magic around, that's why they left."

Janna thought for a second, "Actually, that makes sense. If it wasn't much and suddenly there's a new one around they might have been caught by the new magic too… They could have lost all the magic like I did for mixing it up."

"Like filling a cup of water with orange juice. If you want to get rid of the mix you need to get rid of both." Marco said "And because they had the influence, they couldn't risk to stay. However!" Marco said pointing to a scheme drawing on his wall, "Tami said she and the other left were more natural magicians, that used Earth and natural sources, that's why they are out of risk!"

There was a gasp heard and then a voice replying to him, "It's natural magic!"

The trickster took her phone out of her jacket and showed him her mentor on video call who was clapping and smiling happily. "Well, that explains how I was so oddly and suddenly put in Japan."

"You weren't there before?"

"Nope!" She replied "I made a test to come here, but I was sure to fail because of some missing papers, but then they suddenly were found and approved at the last second." She thought for a second, "I wonder if there are others who have done this too."

"It might if we go by Marco's theory." Janna replied. "Maybe the Elders knew that we could restore the magic flow by ourselves and made a way to scarce us around the globe." She shrugged.

"If that's the case," The boy continued "I thought that if you all used your magic at the same time, it might be enough to get magic on Earth flowing on the levels that it was again."

The red haired woman frowned a bit in worry, "I'm not sure, it might need a lot of people doing it at the same time, and there are the timezones, not to say so far the ones I had contact don't have that much power enough to make our magic connect one point to another to make it flow." She sat back on the chair and crossed her arms thoughtfully.

"Marco, are you really asking us to do that? We would be risking to expose ourselves and be hunted down to death again for what? So you can be with your girlfriend?"

Marco gulped. She had a point, there were many factors to make it harder. to make one witch to pass the magic from a point to another, then that required that some ignored the timezones, and…

And this was the best chance he had to see Star again.

"Yes." He replied "I'm asking you to do this so I can go to her. I will cross every mountain, swim every ocean just to fix what I've broken. If I need to go around the world to talk and ask one by one to agree then I will. This is the best if not the only chance I got to be with her. So yes, I'm being selfish and asking you all to take the risk to restore the Earth magic and I can be with Star again."

There was a moment of silence before a loud squeal and giggling from the phone startled both in the room, "Okay!"

"Okay?!" Both Janna and Marco replied surprised.

"Okay." The witch nodded, grabbing some papers and writing something in them, "I'm a big fan of love, and that confession? That got me. So yeah I'm going to do it. I'll talk to my friends and the ones I got in contact to plan this and will get back to you. Ah! I can't wait to help you two get back together!" Suddenly the woman began to transform the notes she wrote into paper birds and sent them to the window. "I have much work to do, I'll see you later!" With another set of squeals and giggles she hung up.

Both teenagers stood there looking at the phone screen locking it up in shock. It was rather… easy. And that was exactly why Marco wasn't sure if it would work, if there is something he learned about this whole thing is that nothing would come easy to him.

Still, he had high hopes and for that, he grabbed the bracelet that once belonged to her and held it tight, hoping that soon he could give it back, that then he could hold her hand - if she allowed, he had to recognize that he had every right to reject by how things messed up.

"I would love to stay," Janna commented but stopped for a second, "Wait nevermind, I'll stay and look around your stuff to see if I get any other stuff to this mad plan of yours"

"Gee, thanks" Marco shrugged and moved for her to come into his room. "Be my guest. I'll get some air."

"By the smell of this room, you do need it."

He ignored the comment even through his blush. He knew she was just teasing him… right?

He was walking down the corridor when he saw his dog lying in front of the guest door crying. Once he saw Marco, it got up and began to scratch the door asking to be open for him. He was ready to open the door when he touched the handle and suddenly began to hear a song from the other side.

When I wake up, yeah I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you!

He stopped for a moment, he was sure the room wasn't in use for a long time and that there was nothing on the other side of that door. So that could only mean…

When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you!

Marco opened the door, but instead of looking into the visitor room that was very much like his, he saw a huge room, with an aquarium, stairs, and even a balcony. He stepped into the room with a fond smile on his face as he watched in admiration the figure on the bed jumping and dancing to the song blasting in her speaker.

If I get drunk, Well I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you!

It was another of her times singing super glue songs, she was jumping on her bed as she sang the lyrics, laughing happily as she did so, her golden hair dancing up and down, her bed already a mess from her dancing.

And if I haver, well I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who's haverin' to you!

He couldn't help but smile openly at the memory, it was such a happy and innocent time. She was just there dancing and singing to a good song and enjoying the moment, while he was making nachos down the stairs. She was smiling so brightly and it was such a good memory that made him laugh a bit to see her like that.

There was a noise beside him, she didn't notice because of the song and how distracted he was by the scene, he found himself years young putting down the table some nachos only to lean on the doorframe crossing his arms and watch her performance of happiness.

How he didn't realize by then he was already falling for her? That fond and loving smile and the joy he remembers to feel just to watch her jumping to the song and be happy for a moment… It was enough to make him smile and be happy himself.

He laughed, they were really oblivious.

Star soon took notice of him standing there watching her and motioning to him to get up her bed and join her, he gave an eye roll pretending to be reluctant but joined her more than glad.

"When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you!"

They began to dance together, both laughing above the bed as they continued to lip sync the song.

"When I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream, I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you!"

They began to run in circles in the bed, getting dizzy and then switching to another game.

"When I go out, well I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you!"

They began to try to ticklish one to another. Sometimes missing and others getting right making another fit of laughter go up.

"And when I come home, yes I know I'm gonna be, I gonna be the man who's coming home with you"

They both sang together getting louder and louder until they reached the chorus and began to shake their heads, messing up their hair hard as they sang one to another as they jumped in her bed.

"But I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more! Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door!"

The song went on, and Marco grabbed a pillow to hit her, Star laughed, grabbing another to defend and attack him. They stayed like that until the chorus came back again and they sang together breathless.

"But I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more! Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door!"

They both give a last jump and fall laying down on her bed in a fit of laughter with their belly hurting and red faces from all the energy wasted just for the fun and singing together and having a fun time.

The laughter began to fade in the air as the memory faded and gave place to reality. His dog was laying down on the bed that was just like his, he stepped closer and sat there looking at the bracelet once again.

"I miss her too." he told Barko, embracing the animal and caressing it's fur until he fell asleep.

At the door, Janna looked down at the floor before taking her phone and dialing some numbers. She couldn't let him go on like that, if Marco needed to meet the girl again to get his closure, then he would meet her. Even if she had to ask some favors she had been saving.

"MOON!"

Her name echoed into the room and she flinched, but still took a breath. She should have expected that Eclipsa would find out about what was going on sooner or later, and given she took Star as a granddaughter/nephew it was no surprise she would be furious once she found out about the whole thing and not only what Moon let her know.

"Before you take out your fury on me, take a seat so I can explain…"

"You erased her memories!" Eclipsa slammed her fists on the table, "You took away her memories about the boy she loved!"

"I had my reasons to do so and you would understand if-"

"And she has broken hearts! Her magic is unstable, she's been crying non-stop! Moon, have any idea of what you have done?!"

"I have plenty of ideas of what I did and I did what was best for her!" Moon replied, raising her voice.

Globgor came into the door a bit after being accompanied by River, Glossaryck and Baby. The monster tried to calm down his wife by gently pulling her to sit, but she refused, still staring at Moon like she could punch her, maybe she would.

"What right do you think you have to take away her memories?!"

"It was hurting her far worse than it should!"

"And taking away was the answer?! That's not up to you to decide, Moon! You out of everyone should know this!"

"Sweetie," Globgor tried again, "let's hear what they have to say."

"I did what I had to do to save my daughter, you would have done the same!"

Eclipsa gasped more angrily than before "What harm could the memories of Marco could have caused?!"

"The memories are killing her! From inside out!" From the moment of shock of the other queen, Moon took a breath and looked down, she admitted in defeat the truth about the condition. "Star has the Deadly Flowers."

Eclipsa let out a breath and finally let herself be led by her husband to sit down as he stood beside her holding her hand, now just as worried about the princess' condition as his wife was.

"What stage is it?" The king of monsters asked.

Moon sat down, River coming by her side as her hands massaged her temples, "She was vomiting the flowers weeks ago. We didn't have many options, so…"

Globgor nodded and Eclipsa looked at him confused, as he clearly knew of the sickness better, it wasn't fully disclosed how many monsters fell victim to such sickness. As he explained what the disease was and the cure methods, Eclipsa felt more heartache for the princess that was playing with the two children in her room at the moment.

"So… you took the flowers out?" She asked.

"We did," River replied, "but she seed is placed in her heart so…" He looked down sadly and Globgor continued for him.

"The flowers will continue to bloom over and over again, and quicker every time, until it comes to a point where… There's no way out."

Eclipsa felt her eyes water and held her husband's hand tight, "There must be something we can do! Some potion or-"

"Don't you think I've been trying?" Moon replied looking up with teary eyes, "I sleep every night without knowing if my daughter will be there in the next day, or for how long… And she's about to marry someone she doesn't love because Marco is back on Earth where we cannot reach anymore."

Eclipsa sniffed and stood in silence for a moment with them. It was a serious situation, and if Star had come to pass before the wedding would be even worse.

Even so, she knew she should, but couldn't bring herself to tell them that Star had partially recovered her memories and the flowers are back. Star made her promise not to do so and now she gets why, she's afraid of losing them again and by now… That's all she has left of her happiness back then.

"So we… wait?" Eclipsa said reluctantly.

Moon closed her eyes with River, showing how much pain they have to admit that all they could do was to provide the best they could while they could, but they couldn't afford a cure or miracle to get her rid of her pain and death.

Eclipsa wished for a moment that she could have convinced Diaz to move to Mewni, this could have solved so many things… but they didn't know back then. Even if they did, once Star severed the magic ties, they would have been sent back to the place they belonged, without magic.

But if was like that, then-

"Wait, Star erased her magic back from Earth, then the same happened from here, right?"

"That's right." Glossaryck confirmed.

Eclipsa then looked up a bit more hopeful, "Then how's Mariposa still here?"

It took a moment for the others to understand what she meant, but when they did, the same feeling of a sparkle of hope that got into them.

"That's impossible!" Moon said, still hard-believing "Earth is magicless!"

Globgor got up and turned to them, "Eclipsa has a point, we had been taking care of Mariposa ever since the portals closed. The only thing that changed was that she also lost her memories, she is still affected by the magic, and possibly what happens back on Earth for that to happen."

The Mewni queen got up and turned to the magic guide, "Glossaryck, is it possible?"

The blue creature thought for a moment, "Earth has its own natural magic like all dimensions, but would be very unlike - not to say impossible to make it connected back or flow enough to connect again. It would be necessary to have an incredible amount of magical power to reconnect with their own magic to make it flow enough and then later they do it again for someone from this side to make the connection."

"We didn't have to do that the first time," River complained.

"The ties weren't severed or blocked then. Just out of use" Said Baby. "Besides, Earth has been out of Magic users for many years, and we have no communication now. They would have to make this plan on their own with none of our communication. No one knows about this to make it happen."

Moon was about to try to argue with another solution when Tom and Ponyhead got into the room in a hurry and were screaming with something in their hands. The queen was about to ask for them to calm down and sit when Tom put the device with a point blinking and made her go speechless.

"I don't know how, but somehow, they are up to something!" Tom said.

The others got around Moon to look into the screen and see what they were so amazed about too and felt themselves in shock as much as the teenagers were, but in a good way. Glossaryck groaned rolling his eyes, but smiled still after everyone gave a hopeful laugh.

On the other side of the room, Ponyhead was dancing in the air chanting happily "I cannot believe it! Earth-Turd did it! Earth has magic again!"

_________

This is for now.

On a brighter note, I'm out of the horrible writer block the finale and few other things gave me. That is to say I'm finally writing the final chapters to go.

Thank you again, and onwards to the finale!

PS: we got a discord now if interest anyone :)

A special shout out to @tamiletrange for having my back and also, a special tribute for her in this chapter as Janna’s mentor

@manifisto42 @judytrashcan @thatgirlinspace @ido100 @cid331 @krystalhuntress @mrevaunit42 @luigifan7 @avatarrocks132 @touya-r @dvvkroh @starkiller9903 @oofcorp @ironlightsheep @ironlord-firoh @the-x-files-fan

#svtfoe #svtfoe fanfic #svtfoe ever after #star vs the forces of evil #star vs the force of evil spoilers #starco #fanfic #by me #svtfoe fic #star vs fandom #star butterfly #marco díaz #moon butterfly #river butterfly

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geekgemsspooksandtoons · 3 years

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I finally played more RE8

This was copied from my DeviantArt journal when I finished it before I posted it.

Yes...after a week of a lot of crap going on. Personal stuff and whatever else. But also me focusing more on playing NethterRealm games. Mainly MK11 and MKX. I finally decided to play more RE8 and some spoilers ahead. I got distracted from making this right away. It's been many minutes and was on the internet for a bit. Just gonna talk more about my experience.

You know, with all the complaining from people who expected more vampire MILF's...which they shouldn't have. I mean, I am trying to play without looking online for stuff. And my game time has been 4 hours and 36 minutes...

Despite all that complaining...gonna say...it felt like I took forever in Castle Dimitrescu so I can't really complain. And the fact those ladies scared me despite all the fame they get. Really, I kind of want to get this done with and talk a bit more about the game itself.

So I finished Castle Dimitrescu. I killed Cassandra and Daniela(The other daughters), and later one, I got me a bigger briefcase to hold this sniper rifle. I used my sniping skills to do a lot of damage on Alcina's final form. Mainly ended it with a shotgun that I recall. I wanna joke about that I used my 360 no scoping skills...but I'm not a person who does 360 shit lol.

Will admit because I felt intense in Castle Dimitrescu. I hoped to see the Lycans again and luckily after that castle part, they came around again. Honestly, Castle Dimitrescu was a pretty solid area. One of my favorite sections of the game honestly...

After that, experienced the part Hotdiggedydemon made a animation about(Yes, I have seen it and I don't mainly like the guy) in the game, was in the village for way too long trying to get to the home with the red chimney, got me a new pistol that I decided to sell anyway. Which was the M1911. Even this special ammo I found for other weapons I don't have yet. And after I got back to the Duke, sold some stuff, even decided to add that Mr. Everywhere charm onto my pistol...that's gonna be amusing to have as I play the game. Just gonna have fun with that.

And I still haven't sold Alcina's remains...from what I know, there's a special pistol that you can get if you I think sell them...but I'm not sure...I'm not selling her crystalized remains in case.

Also forgot to mention during that village part as I looked around. Such as finding Luiza's necklace, and remembered she was that older lady...but also, the most amusing thing is that I got scared by a pig that hit me...a pig scared me like a pig scared Mac in Predator...and I still didn't kill the pig. Didn't even kill the other pig I saw. Mainly protected it from these new flying enemies.

Now I'm just gonna talk more about the game. While I haven't been more in depth of why I dislike this game. To be honest, my experience has been nice. I do feel like the journey of just playing the game is something I like. I get to experience myself. The gameplay is fine, and a lot of things work well.

It's just I'm disappointed to know how the story will end up. And why I have such this dislike towards it...and this all started because I hate the fact Jill isn't brought back. Time to sound negative, I hate how in these new main games. I hate how many of the characters that I grew up liking are just straight up ignored or forgotten. I mean, when RE7 was still new. I liked seeing Chris come back as a surprise...but I'm just sick he's the only old character that came back and why I'm disappointed that Ada wasn't even included in this. Because she was in the concept art. Also the fact he acts like a fucking asshole from what I know. Yes, I know the reason, but I'm not spoiling that.

I'm also upset of how Capcom or...the writer decided to approach this story and it again, makes me not want to have Resident Evil 9. Seriously, I like a lot of stuff from RE8. I love the introduction of the Lord's and other crap. But I fucking hate how these new games don't have a better connection to the older games. It's strangely a reason why I kind of disown them from canon.

There's other criticisms such as how they approached Ethan and Mia in this game's story. And I just feel like...the problem started with RE7...it's a weird experience for me. I get and do like what Capcom tried to do...but I dislike how they handled the story aspect mostly.

Sorry to sound negative if you really liked this game. There is no problem with that. It's just I really wanted to delve a bit more of why I have some reasons to dislike 7 and 8. And that I felt they both could of benefited from some changes. I'm saying that as someone who REALLY liked the first half of RE7 and even didn't mind the ship part...but REALLY DISLIKED of how they handled Eveline as a character and even the Bakers in a way. Mainly Eveline is the one that bothers me the most.

Also gonna admit and I'm taking this idea from someone. Maybe to get people less complaining, that you could have had the choice to go to Castle Dimitrescu first or not...but it's the writing and whatever the Hell. Looks like I have a choice between Donna's place and Moreau's. Which I liked. But Heisenberg's factory didn't show up on the map that I saw. And Castle Dimitrescu had a big X on it.

Anyway, I think that's all for now. I may of forgotten some shit. I have wondered of trying to be funny and negative...but I guess I decided to just be honest about what I felt without sounding mean or whatever.

Trying to remember what else. Love the fact I get to meet my favorite Lord possibly of this game which is Donna. Haven't seen much of her in game and didn't wanna spoil much for me of her part. I wanna experience that shit. It's just that Lady Dimitrescu and her daughters got the most attention for understandable reasons. Basically folks thirsting for them which is fine.

Man, listening to RE8's save room theme while making this gets the feeling right. Yet I'm just recalling how goofy and scared I was in Castle Dimitrescu. I appreciate this game making pretty looking and scary women basically making me feel terrified ha! I'm taking to long to remember what else. I should just post this.

Edit forgot to mention him. Hey bro @kaijuguy19 look what I did man. :) I kind of fulfilled a promise or so lol.

#GeekGem Rambles #resident evil #resident evil 8 #re8 spoilers

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hypocrisyofandrewdobson · 3 years

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Dobson's Patreon: An Addendum to His Monument of Sins

(The following is a submission from @soyouareandrewdobson, meant to be an addendum to the multi-post submission @ripsinfest made a while back. Ironically, this one also had issues when being submitted, so I’ll be copypasting it here with all the images and links originally intended.)

In 2018, user @ripsinfest wrote a multipart series of posts for THOAD, recounting Dobson’s attempt to establish a patreon in 2015 and how it resulted in failure on a massive scale, to the point that his patreon is arguably “a monument to all his sins”.

Personally I think the post series is extremely well researched, rather “neutral” in terms of tone (letting the posts provided as evidence speak more for themselves than the opinion of the writer) and gives a detailed but quick rundown on what went wrong. Primarily that Dobson overestimated his own “value” as an artist and did NOT attempt to give his few supporters what they wanted through his artwork posted around the time.

I do however want to use the opportunity to also point out at certain obvious things that in my opinion (and likely the opinions of others) added to the failure of the patreon account, that were not accounted for in detail and are primarily related to how the internet perceives popularity and Dobson’s inability to understand, how to “sell” and make himself look good to the public.

To begin with, let’s just point out a certain truth about making money via Patreon: To do so, depends a lot on your popularity as a content creator online. That is simply because the more popular you are, the bigger your fanbase is and as such the more likely a certain percentage of people may be willing to donate money to you and your work in hopes they get something out of it, even if it is just the altruistic feeling of having helped someone they “like”. It doesn’t take a genius to see, how e.g. internet reviewers such as Linkara or moviebob (around 2800 and 4400$ earnings via patreon each month respectively) can make quite some money, while other, more obscure content creator or artists barely make money to go by, earning essentially pocket money at best.

In addition, popularity is fleeting. A few years ago e.g. internet personality Noah Antweiler aka The SpoonyOne managed to earn 5000$ a month via patreon, just shortly after establishing his account. But his lack of content over the years AND his toxic behavior online resulted in a decline of popularity and with it people jumping off his Patreon. As such, Antweiler only earns nowadays around 290$ a month via Patreon and most of that money is likely form people who have forgotten they donate to him in the first place anyway.

And Noah is not the only one who over the course of the last couple of years lost earnings. Brianna Wu makes barely more than he does, despite having once been the “darling” of the internet when the Gamergate controversy was at its peak. Many Bronies who once made more than 2k via video reviews on a show about little horses at the peak of its popularity (2013-15) earn less than 300-800 on average nowadays because interest on the show as well as people talking about it has declined.

Heck, in preparation of writing this piece I found out, that one of the highest grossing patreons nowadays is “The last podcast on the left”, a podcast that earns more than 67k a month by making recordings on obscure and macabre subjects on a regular basis.

So there you have it folks: As the interests of the internet users change, so does the popularity of certain people online and -in case they have a patreon account or similar plattforms- their chances of making money via their content.

Which now brings us back to Dobson, who was not popular at all at that particular time and managed to become even less popular as the months and years passed by.

Sure, Dobson had his fans via deviantart, people knew who he was. But the later was more because of “infamy” than popularity and the number of fans he had accumulated online were representing people interested in him at least since 2005 and did not quite represent his actual present day numbers of supporters at the time.

And mind you, the number of supporters was less than 100k, most of them likely underaged deviantart users. And if my research indicates something, then that most content creators with a halfway decent patreon earning need at least 100k+ followers in total. Because of those fans, only around 1-3% will on average then spend money on you, if you actually create content they enjoy and on a regular basis.

Which brings up the next major problem: Dobson did not create content people enjoyed and that in more than one meaning of the word.

On one hand, as pointed out by ripsinfest, he barely released any content at all over 2015 after a few initial months, despite the fact that he was obviously active online a lot, as shown by his presence on twitter. On the other hand, the few things he did create were not the stuff people wanted.

As an example: If you go to a restaurant and pay for a pizza, you expect the cook to give you a pizza. If however for some reason he just gives you a soda, you get ripped off and never come back. In Dobson’s case, the thing people wanted was not pizza but comic pages. But what he delivered was mostly bland fanart, such as of Disney and Marvel characters crossing over or KorraSami. Sure, a few strips of “So…you are a cartoonist” were still released at the time, but not really many.

To give an overview: Taking the release dates on Dobson’s official SYAC site into account, he released around 16 strips of it between March and August of 2015, the last two being “No Leia” being titled “Zip line”

Afterwards, the next official strip released was “Anything at all” in October of 2016.

Now to be fair, there was at least one more strip at the time Dobson released via patreon, that is also save to see on kiwifarms and other plattforms, which has not been uploaded to his official SYAC page. Likely because he simply forgot about it.

But I think that in itself should tell you something about Dobson’s work ethics when it comes to his webcomics. He promoted his patreon in his own video as a way to ensure he can make comics in a timely fashion again for others to enjoy, but in an environment where certain artists are capable to create multiple strips per week at minimum, Dobson could overall not manage to produce more than 16 over a course of six months, which means an average production of 3 strips per month.

For comparison, Tatsuya Ishida of the infamous sinfest webcomic (a garbage fire of epic proportions from a TERF who I think should be put on a watch list) has produced on average 4 strips per week, including full page Sunday strips, for years and nowadays even releases stuff on a daily basis to pass the covid crisis. So a mad man who wants to see trnas people die, has better work ethics than Dobson.

In other words, people expected Dobson to actually get back into creating comics (with some even expecting a return of Alex ze Pirate), but he got in fact even lazier than before, releasing only SYAC strips and random fanart as a product. Which he then also tried to justify as his choice to make because a) he had mental health issues and b) no one can tell him what to do.

And sure, people do not need to tell you what to do. But when people pay/donate money to you expecting to get a certain product in return, they should get the product. Linkara e.g. by all means doesn’t NEED to review comics to have a fullfilling life, but he got famous for his reviews, people want to see his reviews and they pay him for those reviews. So obviously, he will continue those things.

Then there is also the fact that despite Dobson’s claims how he wants to create comics for everone to enjoy and that he aims to keep his artwork online for free so anyone can view it…(his exact words in his promotional video AND text on his patreon once upon a time)

youtube

…the reality was, that he wanted to use patreon as a paywall. Something I actually kinda pointed out at on my own account (shameless self promotion) once, but want now to elaborate a bit. Basically at the time Dobson opened up his patreon, he also was on the verge of leaving deviantart as a platform people could look at his work behind. Which he eventually did.

Meaning that the only major platforms for people to watch any “new” stuff by him were his patreon or art sites such as the SYAC homepage or andysartwork. Which granted, he did EVENTUALLY put his stuff on.

But unlike other content creators who would put “patreon exclusive” new content up on more public plattforms often within a few days, weeks or a month after making them “patreon only” at first, Dobson waited longer and did barely anything to promote his sites as places to look his stuff up for a public audience. In doing so creating a “bubble” for himself that hurt him more than it helped, as Dobson made himself essentially come off as a snob.

A snob who did not create content for everybody to enjoy, but ONLY for those willing to pay him at least one dollar per month. As evident e.g. by the fact that as time went by, certain content was never released outside of his patreon at all, such as a SYAC strip involving Dobbear screaming at the computer because he saw a piece of art that featured tumblr nose.

Lastly, there is the issue of his patreon perks and stretch goals.

See, his perks were essentially non existent. Aside of the beggars reward of “my eternal thank you if you donate 1 dollar”, two other perks that come to my mind were the following: If you donated up to 5$ at minimum, you got your name thrown into a lottery to potentially win buttons and postcards of his artwork. Unsold cheap merch from years prior he failed to sell at conventions basically. There was just a problem with that thing: That lottery thing, which he also was only going to initiate when he reached a stretch goal of 150 dollar a month? It was illegal!

Patreon itself has in their user agreement a rule that forbids people from offering perks that essentially boil down to “earning” something via gambling, which this lottery by Dobson was.

(THOAD chiming in here to add that, in addition to all this, he fully admitted he would be excluding Patrons that he “knew were clearly trolls” from the lottery. Which made the already illegal lottery also fixed, so...yeah.)

The next thing coming to mind was his “discount” on previous books of his he offered online, if you donated at least 10 bucks per month to him. Or to translate it: You would get a bare minimum discount at pdf files of books such as Alex ze Pirate and Formera (you know, the permanently cancelled Dobson comics) if you paid up 50-75% of their original price on Patreon already. And considering the quality of his early works, he should have given you at least a book per month for free if you dared to donate him that much.

As for the stretch goals… lets go through them, shall we:

100$: A wallpaper per month. Something he did provide with eventually, but barely. And after less than five of those he stopped to make them overall

150$: Monthly Gift basket Lottery, which as I stated, was illegal and almost got him into serious trouble with his account. Also not an initial stretch goal he made up but instead came up with a few months into his accounts existence. Finally it got temporarily replaced by Dobson playing with the idea to use 150$ per month to open up a server and art site where people could upload stuff for free similar to deviantart, but under his administration. Promising a “safe space” for other artists. Which considering Dobson’s ego and inability to accept criticism or delegate responsibilities would have likely ended like this:

175$: Establishing a Minecraft server for him and his fans to play on. Meaning Dobson would have just wasted time he could spend on creating comics to endulge in his Minecraft obsession.

200$: Writing a Skyrim children book. Aside of the legal nightmare that this could have been (I doubt Valve would have been happy of someone else profiting of their property) I have to ask, who was even interested in Skyrim by 2015 anymore? Sure, Skyrim was a popular game and it had its qualities, but it was also a trend that had passed by that time. So in other words, there was not a market to cater towards here.

300$: A strip per week guaranteed.

… are you fucking kidding me? 75$ per strip essentially? Something people expect you to produce anyway if you want to be considered a “prolific” creator worth supporting online? Imagine if certain internet reviewers would do that, telling you that if they do not earn at least a certain amount of money, they will not produce anything, period, or less than usual. And Dobson had already proven that he can release more than just one comic within a few days, if he is motivated by enough spite.

600$: Starting a podcast with his friends to talk about nerd culture. In my opinion could only work under the assumption that people even like the idea of listening to Dobson and his opinions. Which considering how very little people like talking to him sounds doubtful. Also, considering how Dobson tends to be late to the party when it comes to nerd culture, likely tending to be out of date faster than he could upload. Finally... what friends?

700$: Returning the love, as he says it, by donating some of the money patreon users gave him to other content creators. This in my opinion is the most self defeating cause possible. On one hand sure, being generous and all that. But essentially Dobson admits here he would blow the money people give him to support HIS art on others, essentially defeating the purpose of HIS own account. He also does not clarify how much of that money he would donate, meaning there was a high chance that he would spend less than 10% of it on other creators, only creating the illusion of support while putting the actual earnings/donations into his own pocket.

2000$: A massive jump ahead. 2000$ per month would result in him getting better equipment (as in a new computer e.g.) and as such “potentially” make more comics. Mind you, only potentially.

This goal in my opinion is also the most fucked up one. Primarily for the following reasons:

Lets say Dobson would have achieved the goal and actually earned over 2000$ per month for at least a year. His annual earning would have been 24k, minus whatever he had to pay as taxes and payment for using the patreon service. And what would he do with this money? Get himself a better computer and equipment by paying a minor fraction of it once. Then he could use that computer for years to come while still having over 10k in his account, plus his monthly earnings. And he may still just produce 3-4 comics a month of a series that has as much depth to it than Peppa Pig if not less.

Sure, many patreon users have 2k+ as a stretch goal on their accounts to signify that if they could make that much monthly, they could have the necessary financial security to focus their time primarily on their content instead of a regular job. And if the content they create is actually well made, many people would support that or be okay with it.

But 2000 dollars to buy ONE computer and not account for how this money will add up over time? And that in light of such profits people may actually expect you to create more than you barely do already? That is either a case of narcissism, plain stupidity because you can't look further than 5 feet or just shows how Dobson did not understand at all the tool he had at his disposal.

Bottom line: Dobson, like many times before, fucked it up. He overestimated the potential support and resulting profits he could make, he expected that his name alone would be enough to assure gainings instead of creating content to justify support and he was unwilling to really give his supporters anything worthwhile back.

And while I am sure that there were also many other factors guaranteeing his failure, those at least to me, were his "common" mistakes most other people familiar even with the basics of internet popularity would ahve avoided.

#long post #patreon #syac #submission #very long post #andrew dobson #adobsonartworks #tom preston #adobsonart #soyouareandrewdobson #ripsinfest

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tigerkirby215 · 3 years

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5e Xayah, the Rebel build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

Holy shit they actually just flip the artwork. No this is genuinely Xayah’s “official” artwork it’s just a flip of Rakan’s...

So uh I had this build prepared back in August... and then I forgot it. Luckily I did write it down! See? I’m smarter than Rakan!

Honestly I’m quite thankful for Tasha’s coming out because it made my Xayah build a lot better. So I’m happy that I’m publishing it now in February instead of back in August when I made the first draft. A lot of things get better with age and love’s also one of them~ 💓

GOALS

Dodging seems to be a weak spot of yours - Sick of only hitting one enemy at a time? Make some Clean Cuts to strike behind your enemy. That’s what’s known as efficiency!

Move your feet, or lose some toes - Ever tripped on a feather? How about having your heels slashed?

A thousand cuts is only the beginning - In case of emergency push R button to dodge damage, and send a ton of feathers at your foes!

RACE

Xayah is half bird, but her taunt flat out shows she can’t fly which leaves Aarakocra out of the picture. She’s also very chatty (holy shit have you seen how many voice lines Xayah and Rakan have?) so Kenku is definitely not an option. So when in Rome as a furry look no further than a Shifter.

All Shifters have Darkvision and their Shifting ability to gain temporary hitpoints, but everything else is determined by their subrace: you’re the girl with the plan for the hunt. The Wildhunt that is! Your Wisdom increases by 2 and your Dexterity increases by 1. You’re a Natural Tracker with proficiency in Survival. And your Shifting Feature will let you become one with nature for advantage on Wisdom checks, and you can up your dodging game so no enemy can hit you with advantage.

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - You’re a marksman. That means attacking with a ranged weapon, which takes nimbleness.

14; WISDOM - Wisdom will let you connect with the natural magic of the world. Most literally as you’re going to be using Wisdom to cast spells!

13; INTELLIGENCE - You’re the one with the plan.

12; CONSTITUTION - Ha ha ADC health bar go brrrr, but even if Xay is squishy in LoL that doesn’t mean we can’t grab Grasp for a bit more health.

10; CHARISMA - Xayah has a degree of rough charm to her. But I mean hey: you got Rakan to fall for you?

8; STRENGTH - As much muscle as dancing takes you don’t need it to cut through your foes.

BACKGROUND

You’re a freedom fighter. A rebel with a cause fighting as a Faction Agent for the Vastayan cause. You get proficiency in Insight along with any Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma ability. For a dance under the moonlight with Rakan get Performance proficiency: it takes two to tango after all! You also get proficiency in two languages: unfortunately Aarakocra isn’t an option but Auran (or rather Primordial) will serve well to speak the Vastayan-bird language. And to learn the ancient language of Ionia I’d recommend Sylvan.

As a vastayan rebel you can gain access to a Safe Haven for you and your allies. By using secret signs and passwords you can identify other rebels who can bring you to a safe house, give you a free place to stay, or assist you in finding information. They won’t risk their lives for you but as long as you remember the password they’ll be willing to help. Be sure to remember the password by the way. Because Rakan definitely won’t.

(Artwork by XhiliaJP on DeviantArt)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - FIGHTER 1

Starting off as a Fighter for a few things known as saving throws, but also for skills like Acrobatics and Perception to see incoming skill shots and dodge them with grace. You also get Second Wind to heal for a d10 plus your Fighter level for some health pots in lane.

Your main choice as a Fighter at early levels is your Fighting Style and we’ll be grabbing a Bladecaller root very early thanks to Superior Technique from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything. You learn a Battle Master Maneuver from the Battle Master subclass: we’ll be going for Trip Attack to hinder enemy movement. You then get a d6 Maneuver die to use on Trip Attack, and nothing else because spoilers: we won’t be getting other maneuvers.

LEVEL 2 - FIGHTER 2

Second level Fighters get their Action Surge, allowing them to take two actions in a turn instead of 1. For now that only means two attacks. For now.

LEVEL 3 - FIGHTER 3

Third level Fighters get to choose their Martial Archetype and to channel some magic into your “blades” (read: arrows, because you should be using a longbow) go for the magic of the Arcane Archer. Arcane Archer Lore will give you proficiency in Arcana or Nature (we’re actually going to be going for Arcana) as well as either the Prestigiation or Druidcraft cantrip (naturally as a naturalist we’ll be going for Druidcraft.)

"How can humans not hear the magic?"

"They're too busy building things."

"Why?"

"Because... they're afraid."

Of course the main feature of the Arcane Archer is their Arcane Shot. Once per turn when you fire an arrow from a bow, you can apply one of your Arcane Shots to that arrow. You decide to use the option when the arrow hits a creature, unless the option doesn’t involve an attack roll. You have two uses of Arcane Shot that come back after a Short or Long rest.

Let’s talk about your Arcane Shots then, hm? To root your foe (sorta) Grasping Arrow does an extra 2d6 Poison damage and lowers the target’s movement speed by 10. Additionally if they try to move without Flash (or other means of teleportation) they’ll take an extra 2d6 slashing damage. The target can use its action to remove the brambles with a successful Athletics check against your Arcane Shot save DC, or ask their support to do it for them. Otherwise, the brambles last for 1 minute or until you use this option again.

Piercing Arrow meanwhile doesn’t require an attack roll. Instead you target all enemies in a 30 foot line and force them to make a Dexterity save. On a failed save they take damage as if they were shot by the bow, along with an extra d6 of piercing. On a successful save however they only take half, but realistically if you’re hitting 3 or more people with this arrow it’s still worth it even if you miss.

(Artist unknown. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 4 - RANGER 1

Feel free to take one more level in Fighter for an ASI but I’m going to go to Ranger now and grab Nature proficiency from the class, which is why we took Arcana earlier!

Also thank god Tasha’s is out because instead of the meme known as Natural Explorer we get Deft Explorer. Canny gives you Expertise in one of your skills (I personally opted for Acrobatics to evade any Shadow Assassins who may try to kill you, but honestly any one of your skills make sense for Expertise so feel free to pick whatever you think will be useful) and two language proficiencies of your choice. (Choose whatever you think will help your cause.)

But the more interesting feature is Favored Foe. When you hit an enemy you can choose to mark them to make your feathers just a little more sharp. The first time on each of your turns that you hit the marked target and deal damage to it (including when you first mark it) you can do an extra d4 of damage to them.

The bond lasts for 1 minute unless you get hit hard enough to lose your concentration because yes: this feature takes your concentration for some reason which is why we went into Fighter first for proficiency in Constitution saves. You can use the mark a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

LEVEL 5 - RANGER 2

Second level Rangers get their Fighting Style, and since we didn’t take Archery from Fighter we’ll instead be taking it here.

But more importantly you get Spellcasting. You can learn two spells from the Ranger list: to keep enemies in place with Bladecaller take Ensnaring Strike. Alternatively if you want to increase your evasion with your Deadly Plumage Zephyr Strike will make it so enemies can’t make attacks of opportunity against you, and you can end the spell’s effects to do more damage with an attack and then increase your movement speed afterwards.

LEVEL 6 - RANGER 3

Third level Rangers get to choose their Ranger Archetype, and with Tasha’s Cauldron out we have an explanation for Xayah’s Deadly Plumage. Why, it’s a swarm of feathers of course! Xayah’s a Swarmkeeper! After hitting an enemy you can use your Gathered Swarm for a variety of different effects. You can do an extra d6 of piercing damage, force a Strength save or be pushed up to 15 feet horizontally in a direction of your choice, or you can move yourself 5 feet horizontally in a direction of your choice.

You also get Swarmkeeper Magic for a variety of spells. For one you get Mage Hand, and you also get Faerie Fire to light up all your enemies’ weak points. You can also learn another spell like Hail of Thorns for Clean Cuts through any foes who may be bunched up.

And to top it off you get Primal Awareness for a few extra spells. You learn the Speak with Animals spell, and cast it once per Long Rest without spending a spell slot.

LEVEL 7 - RANGER 4

4th level Rangers get an Ability Score Improvement. Increase your Intelligence by 1 and your Dexterity by 1, because why not replace one uneven ability score with another? "And an F, for effort."

LEVEL 8 - RANGER 5

5th level Rangers get an Extra Attack. Two attacks per round for a bit more attack speed.

You also get access to second level spells, and from your Swarmkeeper Magic you get the Web spell, which perhaps isn’t too fitting but you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Additionally Primal Awareness adds Beast Sense to your spell list, and lets you cast it without spending a spell slot. Perhaps not the most useful spell, but as Xayah would say: "Spiders are my spirit animal." And finally you can learn another spell too like Lesser Restoration for some QSS in case of emergency.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 9 - RANGER 6

6th level Rangers see their Favored Foe damage increase to a d6. Additionally they get Roving from Deft Explorer for 5 additional moving speed and some help with swimming and climbing.

LEVEL 10 - RANGER 7

7th level Rangers can at least try to fly thanks to Writhing Tide. As a bonus action you gain a flying speed of 10 feet and can hover. The effect lasts for 1 minute or until you are incapacitated. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest. It perhaps isn’t the most useful thing for mobility but it’s good to use your feathers to get the perfect angle on your foes, or to keep away from melee bruisers looking to slice your chicken.

You can also learn another spell at this level like Enhance Ability, for a boost to give 120% when you need it.

LEVEL 11 - RANGER 8

8th level Rangers get another Ability Score Improvement: to maximize the deadliness of your plumage take the Piercer feat from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything. Along with a +1 increase to your Dexterity you can also reroll one attack roll that did piercing damage (your longbow does piercing damage) to hopefully turn a low roll into a high roll. But to top it off when you score a critical hit (that deals piercing damage) you can roll one additional damage die when determining the extra piercing damage the target takes. Any ADC can attack an enemy but Clean Cuts is what lets Xayah stand out from the crowd.

LEVEL 12 - RANGER 9

9th level Rangers get more spells. From Primal Awareness you get Speak with Plants, to understand why the land of Ionia is upset at the humans. You can also grab Conjure Barrage for a Featherstorm to cut down a full crowd. But if you want to evade with Featherstorm your Swarmkeeper Magic grants you the Gaseous Form spell, to become untargetable (to an extent) and still be able to move and dodge (to an extent.)

(Artwork by SplashBrush on DeviantArt. It’s considerably easier to find artwork of Xayah than it is to find artwork of Rakan :c)

LEVEL 13 - FIGHTER 4

Back to good ol’ Fighter to pick up that ASI I ignored. +2 to Dexterity? That’ll max out your hit chance and attack damage!

LEVEL 14 - FIGHTER 5

5th level Fighters get an Extra Attack... which you already have. "I can't even... I don't know where to begin."

LEVEL 15 - FIGHTER 6

6th level Fighters get more Ability Score Improvements! Since your Dexterity is maxed out you can choose to increase either your Wisdom for better Ranger spells or your Intelligence for better Fighter Arcane Shots. Pick whatever suits your fancy but remember that your Arcane Shots come back on a Short Rest while your Ranger spells are restricted by Long Rests.

LEVEL 16 - FIGHTER 7

Do you have a Magic Weapon? Well you do now! 7th level Rangers get Magic Arrow, which makes their shots magical for the sake of overcoming resistances and immunity. Is total level 16 way too late to be getting this? Yeah probably.

Good thing you also get Curving Shot! If you miss an attack you can redirect it with Clean Cuts, spending a Bonus Action to roll an attack on a different enemy within 60 feet of the original target. And to top it off you get another Arcane Shot option: Seeking Arrow is a good way to target backline enemies, but it’s also really useful to deal with any invisible foes. "Did they deserve it?" "They deserved it."

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 17 - FIGHTER 8

8 is the magic number for more ASIs. Intelligence is nice; so is Wisdom. Increase what you want.

LEVEL 18 - FIGHTER 9

9th level Rangers can pick up Mercurial Scimitar and get out of CC with Indomitable. If you fail a saving throw, you can reroll it! But it’s only once per Long Rest. Note that you can reroll death saves, so don’t die or that would make Rakan sad.

LEVEL 19 - FIGHTER 10

10th level Fighters get another Arcane Shot option. Yup that’s literally it. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, I guess. Regardless this late into the game some CC would probably be good, so take Banishing Arrow.

LEVEL 20 - FIGHTER 11

Our capstone is the 11th level of Fighter for an Extra Attack that does stack, giving us three total! Cap off that attack speed to slice through foes like butter! "I love watching you kill." "I love killing for you." "Let's make out."

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Hurray; they all died - You’re really good at Fighting, almost like you multiclassed Fighter with a half-Fighter. You’re incredibly precise with a +13 to hit with your longbow and have plenty of tools to increase your overall DPS.

What? They were in my way - You’ve also got plenty of tricks up your sleeve. Arcane Shots, one use of Trip Attack, Gathered Swarm shenanigans, and plenty of dangerous utility spells.

Oops, your bad! - You’ve got quite a few aces up your sleeve to stop you from being blown up. Higher than average movement thanks to being a Ranger, and your Swarmkeeper abilities lets you increase your movement. Not to mention utility spells like Gaseous Form. And you also have two different ways to boost your health (Second Wind + Shifting), 17 AC with Studded Leather... oh and did I mention you have +17 in Acrobatics?

CONS

Can I just hate you to death? - You’ve got limited resources on top of limited resources on top of limited resources. Two Arcane Shots per Short Rest, spell slots that are limited by Long Rests, healing and temp HP that’s tied to a Short Rest... Be sure to ration out your abilities so you don’t run out when you need them most.

Chaos is the preferred state of nature - All your saving throws are rather mediocre, notably your Charisma which is a nice flat +0. Rakan’s the talker, but a beautiful smile will keep you out of any banishing spells.

Magic is not some river - So it turns out multiclassing two sorta-casters means that you can’t focus on either stat. If you can easily get a 19 in Intelligence (such as with a Hextech Headband) perhaps focus on Wisdom. If not? Well Point Buy is an option.

But if you were perfect why would you need Rakan? He’s there to pick up your slack, and you’re there to make sure he doesn’t screw up. Dance along with him and cut down anyone who stands in your way. There’s nothing you can’t defeat with the power of love... But a good plan is also helpful, so make sure Rakan actually remembers it this time.

"Hey, I have a plan."

"You... have a plan?"

"Yeah! I'll go on instinct!"

"That's the opposite of a plan."

(Artwork by Riot Games)

#valentine's day #love #xayah and rakan #dnd #dnd build #dnd guid #League of Legends #League of Legends Xayah #dnd 5e #dnd fighter #dnd ranger

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little-red-toyota · 3 years

Text

Final good bye to the fandom

TW//Trauma, triggers, nsfw, sexual themes, rape, domestic abuse e.g.

This is gonna be a long ass post…

It has taken me a while to get emotionally strong enough to do this, as I will have to think back at some traumatic events from my past to address some of these things. That's why I waited until I got home from vacation with my family, as it will seriously affect my mood and mental health, and I want to be near my doctor and therapist, just in case.

And also, I know that the majority of those reading this will invalidate me and tell me I am making things up to clear my name. So, I literally have to torment myself to write a blog post people will just brush off as bogus anyway. But I will do it now that I am in safe surroundings. Then it will be off my chest, and I can finally move on. If people will continue stirring up the past, it will be their problem, not mine.

I think I should write one last blog post where I address everything. I have left the TTTE-fandom, but I will write that one as my final goodbye to the fandom. I just have to find out everything I've been accused of so I can properly address them all in order. I might leave out details of my life that is too hard for me to open up about. I know most of you will just invalidate me anyway.

1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

2. My mafia-AU.

3. The Darin incident.

4. Being a pedophile. (Where do they get this from anyway??)

5. Running the NSFW-blog.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

Is there more?

Ah... yes! Faking my own suicide, of course!

7. "Faking" being suicidal.

8. Having the audacity to survive and go on living.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

Anything else that needs to be addressed? What else am I being accused of? Send me a dm and I will add it to the post.

Okay, I will bump the Stepney fic down a bit as it is the most traumatic thing for me to address, I will save that one for last.

2 and 3. The dark au/mafia au where I gave some TTTE characters some rather dark and unpleasant character traits, and the whole incident with Darin and the pedo-Salty was addressed in this blog post written by my husband last year, so I am not opening that can of worms again: https://little-red-toyota.tumblr.com/post/623743183795470336/in-light-of-recent-events

Even the thing about Toby cheating on Henrietta is addressed there.

As for the au, I never fully explored it as I started losing interest in TTTE around the same time. I found other things to enjoy and TTTE faded into the background and the au was dropped before I even wrote any stories, apart from the one about Toby and Henrietta.

Some people claim, like this lovely individual, that most of the characters were rapists and pedos. No, not most. Only one of each. And I did not write more than one story about rape and suicide. Where does this person even get that from? Someone who told someone who had heard from someone who might have heard….?

Don't spread rumors unless you are sure that they are true.

Anyway, it's all addressed in that blog post in that link. I don't see how this mafia au is any worse than other dark post-apocalyptic or violent aus. It mostly was about the diesel mafia and their illegal businesses, not about sex, even if it did occur now and then. I find the substance abuse in it to be more problematic tbh…

4. Being a pedophile.

I don't even know how to defend myself against this one, as I don't even know why people think I am pedophile. They only throw the accusation out with no backing evidence, so I have no idea where it comes from or what it is that makes people think I am one.

Apart from one claim that I had faved "porn" alongside "strangers'" baby photos on DA. I addressed that earlier though. As DeviantArt doesn't sort what you click "like" on, it all ends up in the same folder unless you actively go through it and sort it into categories, which I don't bother most of the time. It also doesn't say WHEN it was added to your faves. So, I can have faved an artistic nude on Saturday, and then faved my friend's family photo on Thursday. It's not like I actively search for porn, get all steamed up and then look at pictures of children. WTF.

The few children I have faved are not from complete strangers, but long-term friends of mine. Yes, it is possible to have friends on the same website. I have actually met a lot of my RL friends through DeviantArt. I posted photos of my daughter when she was a baby, they would fave it and congratulate me. So, I did the same when they had a baby. As simple as that. Nothing weird or perverted about it. Due to people doxxing me last year however, I deleted the photos of me, my husband and my daughter from DeviantArt, so it's no longer there.

Porn isn't allowed on DeviantArt anyway. The nudes there are so-called artistic nudes, and for the most part I use them as pose-references when I draw as it is easier to draw a pose using a nude base and then dress them up once you got the pose right.

"The very naked" centaurs I have faved. Well, I like the mythological creature Centaur. And as far as I know… they do not wear clothes, so how are they NOT nude? Look it up, it's a horse body with a human torso instead of horse head. I don't see them as sexual, but what do I know? Maybe YOU do?

I have no sexual interest in children whatsoever.

5. Running the NSFW-blog on Tumblr and Twitter.

Yes. I was one of six people modding that blog. ONE of six, so I refuse to take the full blame here.

MerciResolution has openly admitted to being the founder, and she recruited me and some others to modify as the confession load became too heavy for one person to handle alone.

The original blog on Tumblr worked as follows: People would anonymously send a confession to our askbox, we would add a picture (sometimes photoshopped) to the text and post it on the blog. Always tagged as NSFW and with proper trigger warnings if necessary! The blog itself was also marked as explicit, so it didn't appear in searches and such.

For us, this blog was nothing but a joke. We did it for shits and giggles. If anyone took it seriously and thought we got off to the stuff that was posted, we apologize for that, but to us it was just for laughs. And we DID laugh a lot, you guys should have seen the weird shit people sent us sometimes!

We had fun and we never thought anyone would take it seriously, so we never thought of writing "joke" in the description or anything. It never occurred to us that it could be anything but a joke.

We also made a Twitter account for it, also locked for minors. But it was quickly hacked, and someone changed the password so we could no longer access it. We made another account and forgot about the old one…

After a while, the original mods started losing interest and the blog (both on Tumblr and Twitter) became less active. That's when a person I had known for years, and wrongfully trusted, came forward and wanted to take over ownership. So, the ownership was handed over to Russalita/Charlie.

That turned out to be huge mistake!

Me and the other mods had more or less forgotten that the blogs existed, when suddenly someone started bashing me and getting up in my arms over it. I got seriously confused as I hadn't been active on it in almost a year. But as it turned out, Russalita had removed the mature filters and made the accounts open for all the see. Even minors.

And as people knew I was one of the mods, they fired their guns at me. I can see why though, so I'm not pointing any fingers here.

I tried contacting her by phone, asking her to lock the accounts again, but she gave me a less than polite response, hung up and then blocked my number…

So, I decided to try to shut the blogs down on my own, trying the old passwords. It worked on the Tumblr-account, and I managed to password protect it, for some reason it couldn't be fully deleted. But the Twitter account had gotten its password changed by Russalita. I was however able to get a new password by logging into the e-mail we had used to create it. I deleted the Twitter blog fully. It can't be re-activated even if we wanted to. It's gone.

But it turns out the old, hacked one is still up and now open for everyone. And this one poses a huge problem as we have no way of getting into it to delete it. Only thing we have been able to do so far is reporting it and hope it will be removed by Twitter. So I only have one thing to say about it: report it.

I am no longer running any NSFW TTTE blog anywhere, nor do I have interest in doing so. So, if you come across one, claiming to be me or any of the other mods, it is false.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

People seem to believe I have drawn genitals on trains. I have never done such. Any art on the NSFW-blog with genitalia on the trains were sent in by confessors and was not drawn by me. Most of them seems to have been drawn by someone who goes by the name "The Lance".

I HAVE drawn things for the NSFW blog, but there were no genitalia in those drawings. I drew Frank of Arlesdale looking grossed out by (I don't know what the part is named in English, but it is connected to the brakes of the engine) that stick-like thing on his bufferbeam being wet from whatever the confessor did to him. I drew an over-exaggerated comical pic of a horrified Peter Sam getting his face licked by his driver, who had an enormous tongue. I also did a couple of manips. Mostly maniping engine faces on humans, like the one where Gordon's face is on a less than fit guy flailing his shirt around, and the Arlesdale smallies' faces on a movie poster from Magic Mike. One with Mr.Conductor in a giant bun while Pinchy is applying ketchup on him, for a confession about eating him, I think? I've done some more, but I forgot what it was, I only know I loved making them comical rather than erotic, as I saw the blog as a joke overall.

I HAVE also drawn aheago faces on engines because it looks hilarious. Though I have only drawn them on my OCs and the NRS engines, not TTTE characters.

Point is I have never drawn genitalia on trains. Ever. And I likely never will. It's not THAT much fun drawing NSFW stuff.

I see from this screenshot that a certain MK-Instrumentalist claim that all my personal art is age-regression art and infantilism…

Whose art have you been looking at? Because it's definitely not mine. I have drawn a couple of baby/chibi diesels… But claiming that all of my 700 or so artworks are depicting infantilism and age-regression stuff? I suggest people go have a look for themselves. I haven't drawn that. That MK-guy has been desperately trying to cancel me for ages for reasons only himself know. I don't even know the guy, and he doesn't know me, yet he wants to see me beheaded. Go figure.

I was for a long time bothered by some age-regressor on Tumblr who just wouldn't leave me alone with their weird asks, who tried to force themselves on me and some other artists here. They claim age-regression isn't a fetish, but the shit they sent to my askbox certainly looked like a fetish to me.

I don't want anything to do with that stuff. It weirds me out.

And no. I have never drawn pedophilia or rape art either. This guy can't even make up his mind on which one to accuse me of.

7 and 8. Faking suicide and having the audacity to survive and go on living.

As many know, after the intense shitstorm against me last summer, thanks to Darin, I attempted suicide. I didn't succeed as my husband came home early. I was gone for a few days but returned when a young boy reached out to me for help as he was being groomed and didn't know who else to turn to.

Recently I saw a screenshot where someone claimed me to have faked suicide, and that I just came back after a few days when everything had died down.

Wow.

I am truly sorry I survived.

I don't remember much from those days to be honest, but as the load became too heavy and the bullying too intense, piling up on 30 years of old trauma… I decided to end it. I must warn you guys who might get triggered now; there are detailed descriptions of a suicide attempt. Proceed with caution. People told me I was a bad mother among other things, having had those same thoughts myself (according to my husband, I am a good mom) and people just confirming them, I thought that my daughter would be better off growing up without me. I could have chosen a more effective suicide method, but I was afraid my daughter would be the first to find me, so I wanted it to be clean and look like I was just sleeping. That way it could be explained as natural causes.

So, I decided to overdose on pills. I downed all pills I could find in the house that had a warning triangle on it (strong pain meds etc.) and then went to my computer to delete my online existence, especially the personal data.

As a former paramedic, I should have known better. Because after half an hour, my body started reacting. But not the way I had hoped and wanted. I started retching and almost vomiting. That's when my husband came home from work and found me. He immediately saw the empty packages and knowing my past suicidal tendencies, he reacted instinctively. He put his fingers down my throat and had me puke everything up, then he called an ambulance and had me admitted to the hospital.

I don't remember anything from the days I spent there. But I have been told they emptied my stomach and gave me lots of fluids. I was then assigned a psychiatrist which I am still seeing today.

I was gone for those days because I was in hospital, not because I was pulling some kind of trick and pretending to have ended myself.

So… I am sorry I "faked" my suicide.

I'm sorry my husband saved me. I am sorry the medics and doctors succeeded in saving my life.

I am sorry I survived and proceeded to live on. If I ever make another attempt, I promise to do better.

Why are you guys so persistent in trying to push people to suicide anyway? Do you get a kick out of it? Why do people have to be pushed to that point before you care?

What did we tell our daughter? Simply that I got sick and had to go to the hospital. She took that well.

I've seen a lot of people wonder why I am still around. Why shouldn't I? Does my daughter deserve to lose her mother over some online crap she doesn't even know about? I owe her to live and watch her grow up, to help her with her homework and whatever else a parent needs to do. I also owe my husband to stay by his side, like I promised him the day we got married. Even if I do not wish to live.

I'm sorry I survived, guys. Really, I am.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it. And 1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

First… why would anyone make up trauma? It's not like it's a competition to have the worst life, is it?

Sadly, I don't have to make up anything. My life HAS been rocky up until the birth of my daughter. I have been through so much trauma I couldn't even fathom it myself before my therapist listed it all up to me. Until then, I had just been casually talking to her about it, like I would talk about the weather. I didn't cry or get in touch with my emotions even once while telling everything, because I was taught from an early age to never complain, to suck it up and go on. So, no matter what people did to me, I would just smile and go on, even if it killed me inside. I did not want to show any sign of weakness, because then they would attack me. A habit I developed through years of being bullied in school. Never show feelings, just pretend nothing could hurt you, then they would eventually grow tired of it and stop.

Except they never did. They kept going through all my years at school. To such an extent, my boyfriend didn't dare to show himself hanging out with me out of fear of being bullied himself… And as we grew older, he would start cheating on me too. And I kept smiling…

My next boyfriend was a bit older than me, and while that didn't bother me, as we were both well over legal age, it bothered him. We only lasted one year before he bailed out and ditched me out of the blue via an sms.

The next guy… was the one who scarred me for life. Both physically and mentally. A charmer at first of course, until I was trapped. He was unemployed, so he moved in with me, and I paid for everything from food to phone bills. All while he was dating several women behind my back, calling various pay-phone services and in general acted like a manwhore. As I worked as an electrician (also being subject to massive bullying and sexual harassment at work), he would be jealous of all my co-workers and if I ever came home late or worked overtime, he accused me of cheating and was extremely violent about it. He would also isolate me from my friends and family, making me think I couldn't get any other than him. If any of my male friends (almost all my friends are male…) came over, he would give me such hell afterwards, it was easier just to tell them it was a bad time to visit. And after a while, they stopped asking. This guy also demanded sex. Every single day. If I refused, he would punish me, mostly by flogging me with lampcords, belts or whatever else he had at hand. My back is a criss cross map of old, faded scars even now nearly 20 years later. I would have shown you a photo, but I am so self-concious about my body after all the bullying, I hardly even show my face in photos. Maybe one day… but I certainly need more therapy before being able to show naked skin to strangers, even if it's just my back. So I had non-consensual sex with him more often than consensual. It has taken me hours in therapy to even take the word in my mouth and call it by its proper name: rape. I was raped, almost every single day for little over a year, before I found the strength to break out of the relationship and finally throw him out of my house. It all ended when I found some revealing texts on his cellphone, which he was extremely protective of… Texts that revealed that he had engaged in a relationship with a 12 year old girl, and it had been going on for a while. Not only was he cheating on me, but he was a pedophile too. Needless to say, I didn't even let him pack his stuff before I fetched my shotgun and chased him out of the house. I don't know where I got the courage and strength from… but I was furious.

I thought I had gotten rid of him, but no. He started stalking me in public. Hiding behind shelves when I was shopping, his car following mine everywhere I went. I received weird letters in the mail with cut-out letters from newspapers, glued together. On top of all, his creepy, old uncle called me with some rather disgusting suggestions and tried to come on to me really hard. I had to change my phone number, and after coming home to my house and finding out someone had entered my home using a key, only to empty the drawer of my night table, I also had to change the locks of my doors as he had clearly copied the key.

He didn't stop until I got the police involved.

So, when I finally met the guy who would become my husband (or rather, we found out we were made for each other, we had known each other since we were 11 years old), I had major trust issues towards men especially and it took him endless patience and love to break me out of that shell.

But the trauma doesn't stop… or start there.

In the year 2000, on January 4th, I would experience something that made me unable to even look at a train for over 10 years. The Åsta accident (google it). I was a volunteer in the Norwegian Red Cross then, and a paramedic in training. Back then, you were allowed to start training the year you would turn 16. So, I was still 15 when I witnessed the most traumatic event of my life. The day started out calm, we were stocking up the ambulance after delivering a patient to the hospital when we got a call with the code "500", which means "catastrophe". Normally when we get that code it is a rehearsal… so we drove towards the coordinates with the thoughts that this was just an exercise, nothing real… we didn't prepare ourselves mentally… And we ended up in the closest thing to hell I have ever been… The sight of the burning trains, the smells, the sounds, the screaming… I still wake up by nightmares to this day. Though the moment that haunts me the most is when the screaming stopped… because we all knew why… I don't want to go into details, but 19 people died that day. But we also saved 67 people. I try to hold on to that thought. The age limit for starting paramedic training was raised after this, as I wasn't the only one who was too young for an accident of that scale. Today it is 18. A memorial stone has been placed on the site, but I still haven't been able to bring myself to visit it, even if we drive past the site every year on our way to visit family further north in the country. I needed hours of therapy to even be able to ride a train after this. To have gotten to the point where I now volunteer at a heritage railway and is in training to become a driver, is a HUGE step for me. My next goal is to visit the site of the accident.

On to next trauma… A previous employer, a rather large electric company in Norway, whom I worked for 8 years. The first five years were great, we were a close-knit bunch of electricians, and we had a great relationship with the bosses and higher-ups. Our labor union was strong.

It all started changing in 2009 when we got new leaders… and those decided to get rid of everyone who were a member of the union. One by one, they started harassing workers in various ways, trying to get them to quit. In Norway, they need a legal reason to fire you, it's not enough to not like someone. There has to be a good reason to fire someone e.g. theft, neglecting work… Since they didn't have any reasons to fire us, they started making our work lives gradually harder and harder until we would break and find another job. Sadly, one of my co-workers couldn't stand the pressure… He bid us all farewell as normal one Friday and hung himself the following day.. But as I was a girl in a male-dominated profession, I had been taught at an early stage to ignore anything that would hurt me emotionally, just arch my neck and plow through. I kept doing that, despite starting to feel more and more mental and physical pains… even my co-workers pointed out how I was being mistreated before I acknowledged it myself. I tried to tell my boss, but he reacted by treating me worse. So, I went to his boss… and that's when things went to hell. Instead of doing his job and listen, he started harassing me too. He deemed my over-weight a problem, and he started demanding I gave him detailed lists of what I ate and how much I worked out… Completely illegal of course, but by this point I was broken down to the point I thought I was useless and couldn't get another job… so I accepted. He started accusing me of lying about my exercise, so I started training at the gym in the basement at work instead. One day, while I was there, he locked the doors and turned the lights off. There were no windows, no cellphone reception and hardly anyone walking by in that part of the building… I sat there in the pitch dark for 3 hours before I was let back out. I still get badly triggered by narrow, dark rooms and rooms with no windows. To such an extent, I jumped out of a small window on the second floor of a gym when I was in boot camp. I was allowed to train downstairs in the bigger gym with windows on all walls after that incident…

The harassment at work went on for years until I finally snapped, ended up at the hospital and got into therapy for the first time. I don't want to go into depth about what more happened, I just can't… I can't bring myself to write it all. Luckily, I had gotten more education while working, so when I graduated, another company called and gave me an offer I just couldn't refuse. So, I quit my job and never looked back, even if the traumas I suffered there still haunts me to this day.

Sadly, even after switching jobs, now getting a safe job with sane leaders… I started to relax, and that's when all my past trauma came washing over me. And one day, on while driving to work, I had my first serious panic attack. It started as this feeling I used to have at the old company; getting sick to my stomach and having the sense of someone being out to get me… then it developed to breathing problems… and I had to pull the car over. I broke into tears, struggling to breathe, stumbling out of the car to read the logo on its side just to reassure my body and brain that I worked for a different company now and there was no reason for panic. I called my boss and let him know, because he also was a "refugee" from that other company, so he knew what me and several others had gone through. He managed to talk me down enough for me to come to the office to talk to him. That helped.

I got back into therapy. A better therapist this time. But sadly, it got apparent that I could no longer work as an electrician as there was too many triggers. I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression, and social anxiety. I'm still working on these and get better slowly.

I have been in therapy for a long time now, and it was my therapist that suggested I wrote fics to cope and "write it out". I tried to make up my own characters for this, but never felt any connection. I was by this time in the TTTE fandom and had met people with similar trauma and pasts like myself, and I started roleplaying with some of them. Me and a girl from UK then agreed to try to rp/co-write a fic to cope with our trauma. We both found it easier to write about pre-established characters we had a connection to, even if it was an au that made it barely recognizable from the original source material. Only the names and some minor things were similar.

That fic was Stepney's Virginity Gets Lost.

Do we regret writing it? No. It helped us write out our traumas and helped us overcome some mental obstacles in out therapy process. Our therapists cheering us on, because we finally managed to break through the hard shell surrounding us. We both cried for the first time in years while writing it, some of it through roleplay, because some parts were extremely graphic and brutal and very mentally exhausting. We had to take long breaks between each writing session, so the fic wasn't written in just a weekend. But we got a lot of darkness out of our minds by writing all this. And we were definitely NOT aroused by it, like this pervert here claims.

It's when you dare to touch and feel the difficult and dark emotions, you can finally move along in the grieving process.

Should it have been posted online?

In retrospect, no. But at the time, we thought it might help other trauma victims, as we also found reading about other people's experiences and fictions touching painful subjects helpful to ourselves. So, we posted it, never expecting it to cause such a controversy 3 years later. In fact, we had more or less forgotten about it until it came back to bit us in the ass. Or rather, bite ME in the ass, as I am getting the full blame alone.

Also, despite what people claim, it was not posted openly for children to read. It was tagged properly and hidden behind mature content walls. If a minor chooses to break that wall, that's not the author's fault. It's the same as watching a movie with an age restriction way above your age, not the filmmaker's fault.

I think MerciResolution puts it nicely here:

"If your problem lies with you KNOWINGLY entering adult spaces when you’re a minor, ignoring all mature warnings that are literally SCREAMING at you “hey, this is what you’re getting into. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

That’s ENTIRELY on you. YOU are the fucking problem.

We’re marking mature things as best as we properly can. If you decide to ignore them, that’s your own damn fault. We’re not your fucking babysitters."

Also, I never posted the story on Wattpad, so if anyone has done that, it's not me. I posted the story on Fanfiction.net, DeviantArt and AO3, that's all. If it's posted anywhere else, it's not done by me.

I had honestly moved on from it when people pulled me back into it.

Other people who have done questionable shit in that fandom are easily forgiven because "they have moved on" or "changed". Yet, nobody believes I can move on or change…?

I had moved on; my interests had changed. But people won't let me, so here I am… Having to defend some crap I did years ago. A fic I no longer have any interest in.

I'm not even interested in TTTE anymore. I have moved on with my own book project now and I would like to focus on that.

So, deleting my TTTE content, whether it was the SFW or NSFW stuff, didn't cost me a penny. It actually felt like a relief. The only downside with it is that people now can't read it and make up their own opinion about it, but will solely believe in what others say, and those things are often seriously bent out of shape and blown out of proportions to such an extent it's barely recognizable.

If people claim that Arry and Bert rape Stepney in the fic, they have never seen it or read it. That's not what happens. That's just an assumption made by looking at the title and knowing there is a rape/torture scene in it. But I'm not gonna tell who the victim is or who performed it, because this is the only way I am able to tell who has actually read the fic or not, who is just trying to spread bullshit and who is actually telling the truth. The person in that screenshot, has no idea what he's talking about.

Does SVGL romanticize rape and abuse?

No, not in the least. It's described as the horrible, heinous acts it is and is in no way meant to be cute or romantic and definitely NOT something anyone should get off to. If anyone finds it sexy, that's their problem, not the authors'. If anything, SVGL might romanticize suicide, because one of the characters isn't able to cope with his trauma and chooses to end their life. Which is something I considered doing myself when I was in the darkest pit of depression. So, I apologize for maybe romanticizing suicide. The following chapters describe how friends and family handle the loss and grief.

It also describes a toxic relationship, where one of the parts struggles to get out of it. They eventually manage to break free, but it is not easy. This can easily be translated to my previously mentioned relationship, as it was my way of writing out my experience about how hard it is to break out of a relation when your partner has broken you down to the point where you no longer believe in yourself and your self-worth.

The last chapters start to gradually become brighter, as both our lives started getting better too. But we never really wrote the end because we both lost interest in writing TTTE content by that time and just left it hanging.

I'm not the only one who has written NSFW TTTE fanfics out there. But it seems like violence and murder is more acceptable than sexual things? I do wonder how brutally mutilating children's show characters are more tolerable than sexually abusing them. Neither should be okay.

Some content creators hide behind "it was a joke". I have been told that such topics that SVGL touches upon shouldn't be joked about… so I didn't do that, and yet it was wrong? So how should such topics be treated? Be hidden like it's a shame, like in the old days when rape victims were told to suck things up and keep it to themselves? When those subject to abuse didn't dare to speak up because people would judge them?

I think it is important to talk about these subjects and why they are so problematic. Victims shouldn't have to hide their trauma; they should be allowed to talk openly about it without fearing judgement.

Some of you claim that writing isn't a good way to cope… You're trying to dictate how trauma victims deal with their trauma, and that's a dangerous path to walk down. Nobody handles trauma the same way. You might have your thoughts on how you would react, but you'll never know until trauma hits you… and you might not react the way you had expected or planned. Trauma messes with your head and you won't be able to think clearly. It makes you do thinks you normally wouldn't have done and can make you act out of character. So, do not judge people without having been in the same situation yourself. Ever.

Someone wrote that I have "more problems that just a rape".

Read that again.

Just a rape.

This person does not know how damaging a rape can be. And if you made it this far in this post, you know I didn't only go through one, but several. Not just by my ex, but also being ambushed while I was walking home from a party, and later; a co-worker forcing himself onto me at a building site. I can't go into depth about them all, I just can't.

Just a rape…

"Just" the feeling of not being in control of your own body and your own decisions. "Just" being robbed off your dignity and self-worth. "Just" having someone intrude into your private zone, tear your clothes off and claim your body against your will. "Just" feeling how your life force leave you as you realize that fighting against it won't help you, and you silently give up and just lay down waiting for it all to be over. "Just" spending hours in the shower, scrubbing your skin until you bleed because you can't wash the filth away and you keep feeling dirty no matter how much you clean yourself. "Just" waking up at night, after having relived the scene again in a nightmare. "Just" looking over your shoulder wherever you walk because you heard something or thought you saw something or simply because someone is walking behind you. "Just" the fact that you'll never feel comfortable walking alone at night again or have someone walk behind you. "Just" never being able to relax because your body constantly think you're in grave danger. "Just" a rape…

That's such a neck-beard thing to say. Someone who clearly think of other people's bodies as property or things. Not taking into consideration that we are living, breathing individuals with feelings. And that having another person violate us isn't something we like or that we'll easily get over. We want to choose who we give ourselves to, nobody should be forced. We didn't ask to be raped. We didn't want it. We didn't like it.

Rape is trauma.

Yes, we should have chosen other characters for the story, but we did what we did, and it cannot be undone now. So, if the only thing I will be remembered for in the fandom is that ONE fic, instead of all my other content, that's what it will be. That's what people chose to. I'm moving on.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

*sigh*

This is something that could only happen in America, isn't it?

Some people don't bother educating themselves. The "nazi-letters" you guys are talking about is actually part of the Norwegian alphabet and has nothing to do with Nazism or white-supremacy to do at all. The Norwegian alphabet has 29 letters, the three extra is æ,ø,å or in capital letters: Æ,Ø,Å.

We can't help it if some morons over in the US abuse these letters as symbol of their twisted mindset.

Yes, my name contains one of those letters. It is my name… and I didn't choose it. It is a common Norwegian name.

As for me being a Nazi?

Those who knows me knows that I am as far from a Nazi as one can get. I despise Nazism with all my heart.

But the reason some people choose to believe so… was that some guy who has no hobbies or life went through every single fave I've made on DeviantArt since I joined the site in 2006, which is well over 20000 faves. And he found a few Nazi-characters from a web series I was following about ten years ago. I am very interested in history and especially WW2-history, so I found that particular web-series interesting and faved some artwork related to it. What this guy failed to notice is that I also faved the Allied characters… That's ALL there is to that story.

I has also faved a pic someone made of Joseph Goebbels (I think it was?) as a Pixar Car. That's not because I have any nazi-sympathies, but I simply found the concept of turning historical persons, both good and bad, into Cars as an interesting project. I would have faved any other historical Carsified person as well.

As for me being a Norwegian and have a natural pale complexion, that's not something I can help. That's nothing I choose. And it doesn't make me racist or Nazi. Period.

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

Again. Get educated.

This flag… is the actual flag of my country. The Kingdom of Norway.

There is nothing Nazi about it. It is not a symbol of white-supremacy. IT IS THE FLAG OF NORWAY.

During WW2 it was even illegal, so people would paint it everywhere in a protest against the Nazi-occpation and the SS. We even decorated our Christmas trees with it, and that is a tradition that has followed us into the modern day.

Again, if some idiots in the US choose to use it as a symbol for their disgusting logic, it is not Norway or the Norwegians' fault.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

I need people to elaborate here.

What exactly do you think I do to my daughter? What is the cause of your concern here?

The fact that I have made NSFW content? How is that harmful to her as long as I keep it away from her? You DO realize that even authors, pornstars and moviemakers have children and that they can be good parents, right?

Do you think I read pornographic content for her as bedtime stories? Or show her porn instead of kids TV? How sick are you guys, really…?

Some people even wanted CPS to take my child away from me… Have a look at these screenshots…

You want a happy, healthy, innocent child to be taken away from a stable, safe home with loving parents just because you don't like the content the mother made? You want her to be placed in foster care, where there is no guarantee that she will have a happy upbringing rather than have her stay with her parents who love her and care for her, for reasons she'll never understand and wasn't even aware of?

"Think of the children!" a lot of you say when it comes to my content. May I ask why this doesn't apply to my daughter?

Why do some of you go as far as to wishing her dead or wanting her to be removed from the home she feels safe and loved in? How is that thinking of the children?

As for the douchebag in that screenshot. You claim that if your mother did something like that you would want nothing to do with her… I have a question: Do you know EVERYTHING your mother do? Does she include you in each aspect of her life? Even her sexual life? No?

How do you know she doesn't do thing you don't approve of when you're not around? She could be a rabid pornmag reader for all you know. But stuff like that is something adults hide from their kids. So, you wouldn't know, unless you go snooping around in her business.

Everyone is entitled to privacy. What I and my husband do when our kid is not around is our business, not hers, and certainly not yours.

Porn and parenting are to be kept separate from each other. Period.

And we do.

There is absolutely no reason to be worried about my daughter. She is a happy, healthy child in a safe, stable home with family that loves her and cares for her. Not just me and my husband, but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

If you want to remove her from that over a stupid fanfic behind a mature content wall, you're the deranged person, not me.

This is all I have to say about all this and my time in the TTTE fandom. I have left by my own, free will. Yes, I am aware that many people don't want me there. That's fine. I don't want to be there.

I am a bit disappointed in those people who just blindly unfollowed me and unfriended me without any questions asked, just followed the leader. Big users tend to dictate who and what is worth following in that fandom. They will even protect real predators, but I'm not going to open that can of worms now. I'm done with the fandom.

Some of those people, I have been talking to regularly, even supported when they faced hardships in the fandom themselves. But when I got in trouble, they ditched me without a word…

If anything, this whole ordeal showed me who to trust and not, and who were true to their word when it came to how deep our friendship was. True friends at least give you the chance to explain before they drop you. I hold no ill feelings to those who did, at least they asked me before judging.

And those who still stayed with me, are the ones who truly know me and who I really am.

Some of the worst libels posted about me might be reported to the police, but I haven't made up my mind yet. I am not mentally strong at the moment, so I don't know if I have the strength to legally follow it all up. I will ask the cops at work for advice on the matter.

All I ask for now is some peace.

You don't have to like me. You don't have to follow me. You don't have to like my content. Feel free to invalidate me, I know a lot of you will.

But please, stop bullying me and my family.

Please stop sending me horrid messages and death threats.

Please stop doxxing me and calling me.

Please leave my family alone. If you don't care about me, at least care about them.

Please just ignore me. I have already left the fandom, there is no reason to keep hunting me.

I just want to move on and go on with my life and the content I am currently working on. After years in therapy, my life has gotten better, and I want to move on.

Please let me.

#good bye to ttte #tw//suicide #tw//rape #tw// bullying #tw//depression #tw//ptsd #tw//ttte #tw//sex #tw//abuse #tw//domestic abuse #I'm done

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silverdecepticon93 · 4 years

Text

Invisible| Dick Grayson x Singer! Reader

A/N: Just an old oneshot I had on Deviantart! Hope you guys enjoy! "Hello Everyone, I'm (Y/n) (L/n) and I'll be singing 'Invisible' by Anna Clendening, and this is dedicated to someone. I hope you know who you are." You said in the microphone, cheers erupted from the gymnasium. You were usually shy but you had to let him know, you had to let your crush know how you felt. The person that you dedicated it too was Dick Grayson, the most popular guy in your school. You talked to him once or twice and you cursed yourself for falling for someone so easily! Avoiding this disaster Seemed impossible My heart is beating faster Fast as it can go You couldn't help but blush when he cheered for you as you sang the first two lyrics, did he know it was for him? You hoped you did, you hoped he would accept, but let's not get our hopes too high shall we? If you really were so shy, then why did you get up on this stage and sing? Well, you'd have to thank you're friend Nightwing for that. 'Cause I'm over thinking every word that was never said or heard Happy ever after? I don't think so You had been getting mugged one night until Nightwing stepped in and saved you. He made sure that you got home safely and would often stop out by your house window to chat. "Do you have a boyfriend, (Y/n)?" He asked one night. "Um...no, why?" You asked, your (e/c)-eyes meeting his own. "Well, I mean your really pretty and cool so I thought that maybe you might have one..." He chuckled a little, rubbing the back of his neck. "Why, are you offering?" You joked. Apparently, that caught the ever-so vigilante Nightwing off, because he almost fell. Luckily, he was able to catch himself and he looked at you with your shocked face. He apologized sheepishly. "It's just that, you're too shy to make any sort of comment like that." He said nervously. You nodded in acknowledgment, "Yeah, but I feel like I could open up to you." You could've sworn you saw his face blush. I'm in love with someone who doesn't know I exist I stare from afar broken hand in my heart while I play pretend I'm in love with someone who doesn't know I exist And it's you, yes it's true, you don't even know it, I can't ever win "So do you have a crush?" He asked. You almost choked on your water but spat it out, you gave him a shocked look, and you were kinda scared if he knew Dick. You dismissed the idea, there are a lot of people in Gotham. "Um...Why do you want to know?" you questioned. He shrugged but then looked at you with a bright smile, a smile you swore you've seen before, "I just think it's my job as your friend to know your crush." You raised an eyebrow, "I literally have no idea who you actually are, you know that right?" His eyes widened and you giggled when you saw the flushed expression on his face, "heh...Yeah, I sorta forgot about that..." "Yes, I do have a crush on someone." You beamed, you knew he could be trusted. He then leaned close to you and let out a loud, "REALLY, WHO!?" You laughed when he fell on your room floor, letting out a little 'ouch', and giving you big puppy eyes. He straightened himself out and brushed himself off before looking at you, you could tell he was dying to know. "Well...Maybe, I shouldn't tell you.~" You teased. "(Y/n)!!" Am I invisible? Should I let it go? Would you ever know? Am I just another crazy living on the low? Am I invisible? Will you ever see what you do to me? Breaking hearts in the dark so easily Am I invisible? "Fine! Fine! His name is Dick Grayson." You smiled brightly, it felt great to finally let someone know. He looked down at you in surprise, his teasing aura left as soon as you said those words. At first, you thought he was just being his usual overdramatic self. "ha, ha. Yes, I have a crush on the most popular guy at my school. He'll never notice me, though. I'm invisible to him." You wanted to make it sound like a joke, but the last part was spoken in a sad tone. "N-NO, YOU'RE NOT!" He shouted, grabbing you by the shoulders. You let out a squeal of surprise and pulled back from his grip. He looked at you in fear but apologized for his sudden actions. You accepted his apology but then it just got quiet. "I-I should check in with Batman, y'know?" He mumbled, "Crime never rests and neither do I!" He said the last part in a very light-hearted way and you managed to hug him before he left, he would normally hug back, but he just seemed to keep his arms stiffly by his sides. You pulled away and gave him a confused look. "Later, (Y/n)!" He said quickly, jumping out your window. You saw his grappling hook shoot up. 'Well...that was odd.' You thought, 'Even for him.' Tangled up and tongue-tied What have I become? Always got you on my mind Got me feeling dumb That morning, last night's events were still leaving you wondering. Had you offended him in some way? Did he have something against Dick? You heard familiar laughter and turned around to see said person goofing off with his friends, his carefree smile was a perfect match on his face. Nope, who could have something against that tall bean? He then looked you dead in the eye and you turned around immediately, picking up your pace. Your face was on actual fire. Did he see you? Oh my god, what if he thinks you're some stalker or something?! "Hey! (Y/n)! Hey, wait up!" He called after you. And I'm tripping over my own two feet And I'm mad you got the best of me I'm falling for you slowly From a distance You inhaled deeply, maybe he just wanted to know last nights homework or something like that. You turned around and put on your best smile. Don't look him in the eye, don't look him in the eye, don't look him in the eye... "Yes?" You asked, locking your (e/c) eyes with his azure ones. Damn it! you had one job, (Y/n) He was silent, just looking down at you. As if trying to find something to say to you...but shouldn't you be the one doing the same to him? "Um...Are you trying out for the talent show?" He finally said This was kinda surprising. In order to enter a talent show, you had to have talent. You 100% were sure that you had no talent whatsoever, well that wasn't entirely true. You sang but that was just for fun, you were sure that you were pretty average when it came to singing, but it was still enjoyable. "Well, we're both in choir and you have a really good voice, so I thought you might've wanted to try out." He chuckled. No way...Dick Grayson, the god of every Disney song ever created, had just complimented your voice. This cannot be real life and if it is...HOLYCRAPDICKGRAYSONLIKESYOURVOICEANDYOU'REPRETTYSUREYOUAREONCLOUDNINEATTHISPOINT! "I'll...uh, I'll think about it." I'm in love with someone who doesn't know I exist I stare from afar broken hand in my heart while I play pretend I'm in love with someone who doesn't know I exist And it's you, yes it's true, you don't even know it, I can't ever win When you saw that Nightwing was waiting for you at your room, it was kinda a bit of a surprise considering he's the one that makes you wait. Patrol and all that can keep a guy busy, you could imagine. "Hey, (Y/n)!" He smiled. You squealed and twirled around, falling dramatically on your bed while giggling like a little girl. The hero gave you a confused look, but a goofy smile is quite contagious. "What's got you in such a good mood?" He questioned, sitting on your window sill. You giggled giddily and turned to look at him. The joy in your (e/c) eyes and the way you bit your lip was just how much one compilement from Dick affected you. "Dick just said I should try out for the talent show because he thought I had a good voice!" You squealed, doing a little dance around the room. "Well, he must really be something if you're literally dancing in front of a superhero." He joked. You looked at him and tilted your head, your playful smile not leaving your face, "How many times do I have to tell you? I can be myself whenever you're around." "Oh! Now your shamelessly flirting with a hero, what would Dick say?" He teased, you blushed but then laughed. 'Dick would say you had a beautiful laugh.' Nightwing thought to himself. Am I invisible? Should I let it go? Would you ever know? Am I just another crazy living on the low? Am I invisible? Will you ever see what you do to me? Breaking hearts in the dark so easily Am I invisible? "Hey! (Y/n)!" Dick called after you. It's a habit he'd been doing a lot lately and it was kind of endearing, maybe he liked you...as a friend or something? "Hey, Dick." You greeted, you felt your face begging to heat up. "You tried out for the talent show?" He asked excitedly. You nodded, "I was on my way to check out who got in, I probably didn't..." A frown fell on Dick's face and you thought you might've said something wrong. Though his next words surprised you and your face lit up. "You can't talk so badly about yourself, you're such a great person." He said. Somebody pray for Nightwing because you are gonna chat his ear off and fangirl to your hearts desire. It seemed like you couldn't find the words and you just nodded, curse his minor compliments! "Plus, you got in!" He held up the sheet and you saw your name at the very top, "CONGRATS (Y/N)!" You smiled from ear-to-ear and wanted to jump up and down. Though you settled for looking up at Dick and thanking him for believing in you to give you the confidence for trying out. "I may just dedicate the song I'm gonna sing to you." You said. Now, to find the perfect song to help you confess. I'm in love with someone who doesn't know I exist And it's you, yes it's true, you don't even know it, I can't ever win You left a note on your window sill to tell Nightwing that you were at a talent show to sing and will probably be gone for quite a while. You decided to fashion your hair and put on a cute (f/c) colored dress. You looked at yourself in the mirror until you heard someone wolf whistle behind you. "Lookin' sharp, (n/n)." he winked, calling you by your nickname. You just rolled your eyes, glancing at the clock in your room. "I gotta go, see you later?" He nodded, "I've gotta go somewhere too, just wanted to drop by!" I'm in love with someone who doesn't know I exist I stare from afar broken hand in my heart while I play pretend I'm in love with someone who doesn't know I exist And it's you, yes it's true, you don't even know it, I can't ever win You finished your song and applause echoed throughout the room, though your eyes traveled throughout the crowd to try and find Dick, he wasn't there. After the show ended, you walked back to your house and felt slightly disappointed that you couldn't see Dick. You walked into your room only to be trapped in a bear hug from Nightwing. "You were awesome, (n/n)! Sorry I had to leave early." He apologized. "What are you talking about, Ni-" you were cut off when he kissed you. You struggled out of his grasp for a while when he peeled off his mask, showing that it was actually Dick! He pulled away and looked at you anxiously, his blue eyes were wide but his face was beet red, as was yours. Of course, it was Dick! The way he acted and the way he spoke to you so calmly, you kinda felt dumb at this point. "(Y-y/n)? I'm sorry but I just felt like you should know after you sang and-" You smiled at him and that took him off guard. Intertwining his hands with your own, you looked at him with a glint of joy in your eyes. "I think that's why I was so loose with you. I must've known deep down." You spoke softly. You kissed him this time, you felt his arms wrap around your waist, and you wrapped your own around his neck. Both of you felt sparks fly when your lips connected. Am I invisible? Should I let it go? Would you ever know? Am I just another crazy living on the low? Am I invisible? Will you ever see what you do to me? Breaking hearts in the dark so easily Am I invisible? "You're not invisible to me, (Y/n)."

#Dick Grayson x reader #Dick Grayson x you #Nightwing x reader #Nightwing x you #Batfam x reader #Batfam x you #Dc x reader #Dc x you #Dc heroes x reader #dc heroes x you

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