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underground-secret · 9 months

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The Hunter and the Witch: Dean Winchester x fem! reader

Description: When Dean gets a call from a friend the boys and Y/N go to investigate a plane that crashed under mysterious circumstances.

Warnings: cannon violence, talk of plane crashes, demons, exorcism, reference to sexual themes (but nothing sexual happens at all like not even a little bit), comfort, aerophobia, one bed trope 🤨

Tag list: @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld, @okayiamkassandra, @fablesrose

Word count: 7,792

Authors note: I am so so sorry this took forever to get out, and i’m not even that happy with the turn out at least for some parts of this chapter. I will be working harder to make it better, please let me know what you guys think: criticism is welcome

The Phantom Traveler

(Masterlist, Previous Chapter, Next Chapter)

The sound of the door opening along with movement beside me wakes me from my sleep. My eyes flicker open slowly only to be met with Dean prompt on one arm practically leaning over me with his hand underneath his pillow.

“Morning, Sunshine!” I hear Sam’s voice call out.

I rub my eyes, turning my head towards Sam’s voice who’s standing in the doorway with a tray of drinks and a baggy of something.

“Hi Sammy” I responded lightly, still adorned with sleep.

“What time is it?” Dean asks him. Which reminds me of the fact that we slept in the same bed the night before, there was only one room left and we were all too tired to go looking for another motel so Dean suggested I bunk with him. And it’s not like we hadn’t slept together growing up, whether on purpose or during a movie.

“Uh, it’s about five forty-five.” Sam answers, kicking his shoes off.

“In the morning?” Dean asks again.

“Yep” Sam answers simply.

“It’s too early” I grumble, sinking further into the hoodie I had worn to bed.

Dean huffs a laugh, “Where does the day go?” He sits up leaning on the headboard, “Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Yeah, I grabbed a couple of hours.” Sam responds.

“Liar. 'Cause I was up at three, and you were watching a George Foreman infomercial.” Dean confronts.

“Hey, what can I say? It's riveting TV.” Sam reasons.

“Lying again!” I add, still lying down.

Dean looks down at me before looking back at Sam, “When was the last time you got a good night's sleep?”

“I don't know, a little while, I guess. It's not a big deal.” Sam shrugs.

“Yeah, it is.” Dean answers and I nod my head in agreement, well the best I can nod lying down.

“Look, I appreciate your concern—“ Sam started getting cut off by Dean, “Oh, I'm not concerned about you. It's your job to keep my ass alive, so I need you sharp.” Dean lies, he is most definitely worried.

But Sam just shrugs. So Dean pushes further, “Seriously, are you still having nightmares about Jess?”

Sam crosses the room, sitting on the other bed, handing Dean two drinks. I sit up quickly taking my drink from Dean as Sam responds, “Yeah. But it's not just her. It's everything. I just forgot, you know? This job. Man, it gets to you.”

“You can't let it. You can't bring it home like that.” Dean tells him, taking a sip of his drink that is most definitely coffee.

“So, what? All this it...never keeps you up at night?” Sam asks, leaning forward.

Dean shakes his head.

“Y/N?” Sam asks.

“Yeah…It does. I mean you can try to not let it bother you but it’s not so simple, not healthy either” I take a deep breath, “Man, we need therapy”, looking down at my cup instead of confronting the boys directly. I take a careful sip from my drink, hot chocolate, making a mental note to thank Sammy for it.

“Exactly. So Dean, really you’re never afraid? Never?”

“No, not really.” Dean replies the same answer.

Sam gives him a look reaching under Dean's pillow, pulling out a large hunting knife holding it up as evidence.

I almost spit out my drink, “When did you put that there!”

Dean takes the knife back, looking between Sam and I as he spoke, “That's not fear. That is precaution. And also when you went to change in the bathroom”

“All right, whatever. I'm too tired to argue.” Sam answers, leaning back on his hand while the other holds his drink (also probably coffee).

“Amen.” I add, focusing on my drink now.

Suddenly Dean’s phone rings, he answers it almost immediately.

“Hello?

…

Oh, right, yeah. Up in Kittanning, Pennsylvania, the poltergeist thing. It's not back, is it?

…

What is it?”

The conversation ends quickly and Dean explains that some guy he helped a while back named Jerry Panowski needed our help.

We change and pack up our things, heading out to this Jerry guy.

“Thanks for making the trip so quick. I ought to be doing you guys a favor, not the other way around. Dean and your dad really helped me out.” Jerry, a short guy who’s balding, speaks

“Yeah, he told me. It was a poltergeist?” Sam asks him, causing a random guy to call back a response, “Poltergeist? Man, I loved that movie.”

Jerry snapped at the worker, “Hey, nobody's talking to you. Keep walking.” He sighs continuing, “Damn right it was a poltergeist, practically tore our house apart. Tell you something, if it wasn't for you and your dad, I probably wouldn't be alive. Your dad said you were off at college. Is that right?”

“Yeah, I was. I'm—taking some time off.” Sam stammered.

“Well, he was real proud of you. I could tell. He talked about you all the time.” Jerry answered.

“He did?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, you bet he did. Oh, hey, you know I tried to get a hold of him, but I couldn't. How's he doing, anyway?” Jerry asks.

“He's, um, wrapped up in a job right now.” Dean responds, coming up with a quick lie.

“Well, we're missing the old man, but we get Sam and, uh, Y/N right? More than an even trade, huh?”

Dean laughs and I nod my head in conformation on the name bit.

“Well anyways I got something I want you guys to hear.” He leads us into his office nearby.

“I listened to this. And, well, it sounded like it was up your alley.” Jerry explains putting a CD into a drive.

“Normally I wouldn't have access to this. It's the cockpit voice recorder for United Britannia flight 2485. It was one of ours.” He presses play

“Mayday! Mayday! Repeat! This is United Britania 2485—immediate instruction help! United Britanis 2485, I copy your message—May be experiencing some mechanical failure…” The recording ends with a loud whooshing sound.

“Took off from here, crashed about two hundred miles south. Now, they're saying mechanical failure. Cabin depressurized somehow. Nobody knows why. Over a hundred people on board. Only seven got out alive. Pilot was one. His name is Chuck Lambert. He's a good friend of mine. Chuck is, uh...well, he's pretty broken up about it. Like it was his fault.” Jerry explains further.

“You don't think it was?” Sam asks him.

“No, I don't.” He answers simply.

“Jerry, we're gonna need passenger manifests, um, a list of survivors.” Sam informs him.

“And would it be possible for us to take a look at the wreckage” I add on asking.

“The other stuff is no problem. But the wreckage...fellas, the NTSB has it locked down in an evidence warehouse. No way I've got that kind of clearance.” Jerry tells us, and despite not being able to see the wreckage he’s extremely helpful. What a kind man.

“No problem.” Dean frowns.

Sam and I wait outside a Copy Jack for Dean, already having waited for maybe forty-five mins. Dean finally exits.

“You've been in there forever.” Sam complains and I nod in agreement.

“You can't rush perfection.” Dean smiles holding up three ID’s, fake ones at that.

Dean hands us our respected ID’s with a fake name, fake information but actual photos of us.

“Homeland Security? That's pretty illegal, even for us.” Sam comments, looking at his ID badge.

“Yeah, well, it's something new. You know? People haven't seen it a thousand times.” Dean reasons, rounding the car to get in.

“It’s not like you haven’t been FBI Agents” I remarked as I got into the car.

“I get it. We’re criminals.” Sam responded monotone.

“Yeah we are!” I celebrate.

Sam huffs a laugh, an almost disappointing laugh.

“All right, so, what do you got?” Dean asks, changing the subject.

“Well, there's definitely EVP on the cockpit voice recorder.” Sam answers.

“Yeah?” Dean asks.

“Listen.” Sam plays the tape, which he had edited to pull out a scratchy voice, “No survivors!”

“"No survivors"? What's that supposed to mean? There were seven survivors.” Dean questions.

“Maybe there wasn’t meant to be any survivors and it could be going back to, you know, uh, take care of them” I suggest.

“Maybe.” Sam adds. The car went quiet as if the boys were going over the possibilities in their heads.

Dean breaks the silence, “Are you thinking a haunted flight?”

“There's a long history of spirits and death omens on planes and ships, like phantom travelers. Remember flight 401?” Sam informs.

“Right. The one that crashed, the airline salvaged some of its parts, put it in other planes, then the spirit of the pilot and copilot haunted those flights.” Dean answers.

“Right. So maybe we got a similar deal.” Sam adds.

“All right, so, survivors, which one do you want to talk to first?” Dean asks.

“Third on the list: Max Jaffey.”

“Why him?”

“Well, for one, he's from around here. And two, if anyone saw anything weird, he did.” Sam lists out.

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, I spoke to his mother. And she told me where to find him.”

Max walks with a cane slightly in front of us, having joined him in the garden of the Riverfront Psychiatric Hospital.

“I don't understand. I already spoke with Homeland Security.” He tells us.

“Well, some new information came up. So we’d just like to ask you a couple of questions.” I answer softly.

“Just before the plane went down, did you notice anything...unusual?” Sam adds jumping right into the questions.

“Like what?” He asks.

“Strange lights, weird noises, maybe. Voices.” Dean lists out.

“No, nothing.” Max answers, though not very convincingly.

“Mr. Joffey—“ Dean began getting cut off,

“Jaffey.” Max corrects.

“Jaffey. You checked yourself in here, right?” Dean asks and Max nods.

“Can I ask why?” Dean pushes.

“I was a little stressed. I survived a plane crash.” Max answered simply.

“Uh huh. And that's what terrified you? That's what you were afraid of?” Dean presses further.

“I...I don't want to talk about this anymore.” Max stammers. But Dean keeps pressing, “See, I think maybe you did see something up there. We need to know what.”

“No. No, I was...delusional. Seeing things.” Max answers, eyes wide.

“It's okay. Then just tell us what you thought you saw, please.” Sam offers, going the much nicer way.

“There was...this—man. And, uh, he had these...eyes—these, uh...black eyes. And I saw him—or I thought I saw him...

He opened the emergency exit. But that's...that's impossible, right? I mean, I looked it up. There's something like two tons of pressure on that door.” Max explains, tripping over his words.

“This man, uh, did he seem to appear and disappear rapidly? It would look something like a mirage?” Sam asks.

“What are you, nuts?” Says the guy who believes he was delusional and needed to check himself into a psychiatric hospital.

“He was a passenger. He was sitting right in front of me.”

Our questions ended soon after we got the name of the passenger in front of Max.

The Impala pulls up in front of his house.

“Here we are. George Phelps, seat 20C.” Sam announces.

“Man, I don't care how strong you are. Even yoked up on PCP or something, no way you can open up an emergency door during a flight.” Dean announces as we get out of the car.

“Opening the door while the plane is at an altitude of 10,000 or more, is impossible. I mean that’s an added 24,000 pounds of pressure, to a door that’s already on average 34 pounds, as a result of air pressure.” I inform, reciting something I had read.

Both boys turn to me with a questioning look, “I like fun facts” I shrug.

“Well that would be possible if you weren’t human. So maybe this guy George was something else. Some kind of creature, maybe, in human form.” Sam suggested.

Dean deadpans, looking at Sam, “Does that look like a creature's lair to you?”

Sam looks at the house, an ordinary white paneled home,and then back at Dean shrugging.

Sam rings the doorbell, a woman with shoulder length brown hair invites us in.

“This is your late husband?” Sam asks Mrs. Phelps, picking up a frame photo of a brunette man.

“Yes, that was my George.” She answers sniffling.

“And you said he was a...dentist?” Dean confirms

“Mm-hm. He was headed to a convention in Denver. Do you know that he was petrified to fly? For him to go like that…” Mrs.Phelps admits.

“How long were you married for?” I ask.

“Thirteen years.” She smiles sadly.

“In all that time, did you ever notice anything...strange about him, anything out of the ordinary?” Sam adds.

“Well...uh, he had acid reflux, if that's what you mean.” She answers maybe a little too truthfully, and I have to stop myself from laughing.

We come down the front steps, having no helpful information.

“I mean it goes without saying. It just doesn't make any sense.” Sam announces.

“A middle-aged dentist with an ulcer is not exactly evil personified. You know what we need to do is get inside that NTSB warehouse, check out the wreckage.” Dean suggests.

“Okay. But if we're gonna go that route, we'd better look the part.” Sam adds with a smirk.

My face breaks out into a smile, “Cue the montage!”

My new heels click loudly on the pavement, catching the eyes of onlookers.

I had wandered off to find a clothing store for women that would have more professional clothing that I was looking for, while the boys were at some store called “MORT’S for style”.

I retrace my steps back to where I had left the brothers, seeing them standing outside the store fixing their suit jackets. Even though I only saw some of them from where I was walking from I had to say they cleaned up nice.

“What the hells taking Y/N so long?” I hear Dean complain his back towards me as he fidgets with the cuffs of his sleeves.

I approached closer only stopping about four feet behind Dean.

Sam’s eyes caught mine as he looked behind his brother’s shoulder, his eyes widening.

“Sorry, Dean.” I say looking up through my eyelashes, even though his back was towards me still.

He turned towards me, his lips ready to form words that never left his mouth, whatever he was going to say died on his tongue the second he had seen me.

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before turning to a more lidded stance, accompanied by a devilish smirk as his eyes ran up and down my figure. I hadn’t thought there was anything special about wearing a white button up and a black pencil skirt that ended near my mid thigh, but the way he’s looking has me questioning my knowledge on such things.

I feel my cheeks turn hot and I suddenly feel exposed by the way he’s looking at me. I tug on the hem of my skirt, pulling it down slightly, seemingly pulling Dean out of whatever odd trance he had been in.

He clears his throat and yet his voice still comes out a little tight, “We should go”.

I hum in agreement, only now realizing that Sam was already ahead of us and getting into the car.

We enter the warehouse, my heels still noticeably clicking, showing our “homeland security badges” to the security guard who nods and lets us in.

The warehouse is huge and yet still cluttered with plane wreckage.

Dean pulls out an odd device, plaguing the attached earbuds in his ears.

“What is that?” Sam asks the question we’re both thinking.

“It's an EMF meter. Reads electromagnetic frequencies.” Dean informs, holding up a rackity device.

“Yeah, I know what an EMF meter is, but why does that one look like a busted-up walkman?” Sam questions further, eyebrows scrunched.

“'Cause that's what I made it out of. It's homemade.” Dean grins, shaking it a little.

“Okay D.I.Y King.” I laugh, nudging his arm.

“I’m just going to accept that” Dean nods, going off to move his creation around for EMF readings.

“Check out the emergency door handle.” Dean calls out revealing a yellow dust like thing on the handle.

“What is this stuff?” Dean asks, scratching at the odd yellow substance.

“Why would you touch it?” I ask him, he looks at me and shrugs.

“Well there’s one way to find out what it is.” Sam scrapes some of the yellow dust off with a pen putting both into a little clear baggy.

He puts the bag in his pocket when suddenly the door we entered slams open, several security guards with guns enter. We all share a panic look before swiftly sneaking out of the room.

With our backs pressed to the walls tightly we found a way outside. We peer around a corner seeing no one in sight, giving us the go to start walking towards the gated exit. Then suddenly a loud alarm blared, turning our “causal” walking into a run.

My heels hit the ground hard with every stride I took, hoping they wouldn’t break. But with each careful movement I knew my heels were slowing me down. I stopped a brief moment kicking them up before carrying them in one hand as I continued after the men in front of me.

Reaching the gate Dean took his suit jacket off, his muscles flexing under the white button shirt he wore. He threw his jacket over the barbed wire at the top of the fence, Sam already climbing the gate.

Dean makes eye contact with me, and without words he gets down on one knee offering me his cupped hands to lift me up the gate. I accepted it and with one hand carrying my heels I hurried up the fence, swinging my leg over the jacket covered bar wire, and despite the shorts I wore underneath the skirt I still hoped I wasn’t flashing him.

I feel Dean following closely behind me as I land, stumbling slightly, on the hard concrete my feet aching from the drop without shoes.

“Well, these monkey suits do come in handy.” Dean says, having grabbed the jacket on his way over the fence. He takes a half a look back and takes off running, Sam follows closely behind being able to catch up with his long legs as I hurry after the boys.

Jerry looks at the yellow stuff through a microscope, hunched over. We watch the screen that's projecting what the microscope sees.

“Huh. This stuff is covered in sulfur.” Jerry announces.

“You're sure?” Sam asks.

“Take a look for yourself.” Jerry offers but before anyone could move there’s sounds of banging coming from outside the office as well as a voice cursing out, “You effin' piece of crap…”

“If you fellows will excuse me, I have an idiot to fire.” Jerry huffs, teeth clenched.

As Jerry leaves Dean wanders over to the microscope looking into it.

“Hmm. You know, there's not too many things that leave behind a sulfuric residue.” Dean mumbles.

“Demonic possession?” Sam asks.

“Oh, that would definitely explain how a regular dude would have the strength to open up an emergency hatch.” I answer.

“This goes way beyond floating over a bed or barfing pea soup. I mean it's one thing to possess a person, but to use them to take down an entire airplane?” Dean stated.

“You ever heard of something like this before?” Sam asks him.

“Never.” He replies

“That’s comforting” I remark.

We were in full research mode, the motel room walls taped with article clippings and images. Papers strewn access the beds and tables. Sam’s on his bed researching on his computer, while Deans reading a book on demon mythology sitting on his bed.

I’m sitting at the small table in the room with a notepad and two open books in front of me, with titles I'm not entirely sure of.

“So, every religion in every world culture has the concept of demons and demonic possession, right? I mean Christian, Native American, Hindu, you name it.” Sam speaks out.

“Yeah, but none of them describe anything like this.” Dean adds.

“Well, that's not exactly true. You see, according to Japanese beliefs, certain demons are behind certain disasters, both natural and man-made. One causes earthquakes, another causes disease.” Sam informs

Dean gets up,“And this one causes plane crashes?

All right, so, what? We have a demon that's evolved with the times and found a way to ratchet up the body count?”

“I guess there isn’t really a way of knowing just how many planes it’s brought down before this one.” I answered

Dean snorts, turning away.

“Hey” I whine thinking he’s poking fun at what I said, my eyebrows scrunching.

“I don't know, man. This isn't our normal gig. I mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. This is big. And I wish Dad was here.” Dean announces, my face relaxing at the clarification.

“Yeah. Me too.” Sam hums, looking back down at his computer just as Dean’s phone rings.

He answers,

“Hello?

…

Oh, hey, Jerry.

…

Wha—Jerry, I'm sorry. What happened?

….

Where'd this happen?

….

I'll try to ignore the irony in that.”

Me and Sam throw each other a questioning look.

Dean’s conversation continues,

“Nothing. Jerry, hang in there, all right? We'll catch up with you soon.”

As he hangs up Sam asks him, “Another crash?”

“Yeah. Let's go.” Dean confirms.

“Where too?” I ask, closing the books and my laptop.

“Nazareth.” He answers.

Jerry is again looking through his microscope.

“Sulfur?” I ask, wanting to confirm. Jerry nods, simply.

“Well, that's great. All right, that's two plane crashes involving Chuck Lambert. This demon sounds like it was after him.” Dean announces.

“With all due respect to Chuck, if that's the case, that would be the good news.” Sam adds, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“What's the bad news?” Dean asks him, turning in his direction.

“Chuck's plane went down exactly forty minutes into flight. And get this, so did flight 2485.” Sam answers, my eyes widening at the realization.

“Forty minutes? What does that mean?” Jerry questions, looking between the three of us.

“The number typically symbolizes a period of trial or testing, like in Noah’s Ark it rained for forty days and forty nights.” I recall, speaking with my hands.

“Along with death” Dean joins in.

“I went back, and there have been six plane crashes over the last decade that all went down exactly forty minutes in.” Sam informs.

“Any survivors?” Dean asks him.

“No. Or not until now, at least, not until flight 2485, for some reason. On the cockpit voice recorder, remember what the EVP Said?” Sam adds.

“ ‘No survivors’… Y/N you were right, it’s going after all the survivors. It's trying to finish the job.” Dean recalls.

Darkness surrounds the car, our only source of light being the headlights as we drive through the night.

Sam’s on the phone contacting the survivors.

“Really? Well, thank you for taking our survey, And if you do plan to fly, please don't forget your friends at United Britannia Airlines. Thanks.” Sam says, sounding peachy as he lies to the woman on the phone.

He hangs up, “All right. That takes care of Blaine Sanderson and Dennis Holloway. They're not flying anytime soon.”

“So our only wildcard is the flight attendant Amanda Walker.” Dean acknowledges, not taking his eyes off the road.

“Right. Her sister Karen said her flight leaves Indianapolis at eight pm. It's her first night back on the job.” Sam adds.

“You know I can’t decide if that’s really brave or stupid of her.” I say

“Either way, that’s just our luck” Dean grumbles.

“Dean, this is a five-hour drive, man, even with you behind the wheel.” Sam replies.

“Call Amanda's cellphone again, see if we can't head her off at the pass.” Dean offers.

“I already left her three voice messages. She must have turned her cellphone off.

God, we're never gonna make it.” Sam sighs.

“We'll make it.” Dean answers, pressing down on the gas pedal.

We rush through the airport, stopping only to look up at the Departure board.

“There! They’re boarding in thirty minutes.” I point at the screen above us, trying to catch my breath.

“Okay. We still have some cards to play. We need to find a phone.” Dean adds, turning in a circle until he spots a courtesy phone.

He picks up the phone while Sam and I wait on standby, “Hi. Gate thirteen.

I'm trying to contact an Amanda Walker. She's a flight attendant on flight, um…” He trails off.

Sam quickly pulls out a marker writing numbers on his hand before holding it up for Dean to read, “flight 4-2-4.”

Dean taps his finger on the phone as he waits,

“Come on.

…….

Miss Walker. Hi, this is Dr. James Hetfield from St. Francis Memorial Hospital. We have a Karen Walker here.

….

Nothing serious, just a minor car accident, but she was injured, so—“

Dean pauses and I know something got messed up, “You what?

…..

Uh, well...there must be some mistake.”

Sam looks at me with confused eyes and I shrug not knowing either, he gets closer to Dean trying to listen in as best as he can almost right on top of him.

Dean laughs, uncomfortably, “Guilty as charged.

….

He's really sorry.

….

Yes, but...he really needs to see you tonight, so—

……

Don't be like that. Come on. The guy's a mess. Really. It's pathetic.

….

Oh, yeah.”

I have never been more confused about a conversation before.

Dean suddenly calls out, “No, no. Wait, Amanda. Amanda! Damn it! So close.” He puts the phone back on the hook with a defeated sigh.

“All right, it's time for plan B. We're getting on that plane.” Sam says quickly.

“Whoa, whoa, now just hold on a second.” Dean holds out his hand in defense, eyes wide.

“Dean, that plane is leaving with over a hundred passengers on board, and if we're right, that plane is gonna crash.” Sam reasons.

“I know.” Dean mumbles.

“Okay. So we're getting on the plane, we need to find that demon and exorcise it. I'll get the tickets. You guys get whatever you can out of the trunk. Whatever that will make it through the security. Meet me back here in five minutes.” Sam explains and I nod along with him.

But Dean remains quiet looking between us anxious. I place my hand on his upper arm, “Are you okay, Dean?”

“No, not really.” He answers truthfully, which I wasn’t quite expecting.

“Oh…what’s wrong?” I ask, concerned.

“Well, I kind of have this problem with, uh…” He starts getting cut off by his brother, “Flying?”

“It's never really been an issue until now.” Dean explains his body tense.

“You're joking, right?” Sam smiles, and I hit his arm lightly.

“Do I look like I'm joking? Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?” Dean whisper-shouts.

“How come you never told either of us?” I ask him, bringing my arm back to my side.

“Well I don’t exactly make it a point to tell people, it’s embarrassing.” He explains, becoming quieter as he finishes.

“Hey we all have our fears” I say, giving his upper arm a little pat, trying to comfort him though I’m not sure if it was helping.

“Ok, uh, Y/N and I will go then.” Sam comes up with.

“What?” Dean asks, looking between us as if we had grown another head each.

“Me and Y/N can do it on our own.” Sam states.

“Yeah! It’s no biggie! And it will mean no plane time for you.” I add on.

“What are you guys, nuts? You said it yourself, the plane's gonna crash.” Dean exclaimed.

“Dean, we can do it all three of us, or me and Y/N can do this one together. I'm not seeing a third option, here.” Sam proposed.

“Come on! Really? Man…” Dean complained.

The intercom rings out, “Flight attendants, please cross-check doors before departure.”

I sat snuggly between Sam and Dean, the later being in the aisle seat anxiously reading the safety card.

“Just try to relax.” Sam tells him.

“Just try to shut up.” Dean snaps back. I roll my eyes at their banter with a huffed laugh.

The plane takes off, Dean jumping at every little rumble the vehicle makes. He clutches his armrests tightly, the knuckles of his hands turning white from the grip, I place my hand on top of his. The hand I was touching quickly released its death grip on the armrest, now having a firm grip on my hand instead. His body was visibly tense as he leaned back, strigidly, humming a song to himself.

Sam leans forward to see Dean, “You're humming Metallica?”

“Calms me down.” Dean answers through clenched teeth.

“Look, man, I get you're nervous, all right?” Sam sympathized, “But you got to stay focused.”

“Okay.” Dean replies simply.

“I mean, we got thirty-two minutes and counting to track this thing down, or whoever it's possessing, anyway, and perform a full-on exorcism.” Sam explains.

“Yeah, on a crowded plane. That's gonna be easy.” Dean exclaims.

“Just take it one step at a time, all right?” Sam reassures, “Now, who is it possessing?”

Realizing what Sam’s trying to do I keep quiet and let him work.

“It's usually gonna be somebody with some sort of weakness, you know, a chink in the armor that the demon can worm through. Somebody with an addiction or some sort of emotional distress.” Dean answers.

“Well, this is Amanda's first flight after the crash. If I were her, I'd be pretty messed up.” Sam adds.

“Mm-hm.” Dean hums, turning to a brunette flight attendant who passed by, “Excuse me. Are you Amanda?”

“No, I'm not”,she answered, looking at him just a little bit strangely.

“Oh, my mistake.”

“Mm-hm.”

Dean stretches his neck to the back of the plane, still trying to look for Amanda, “All right, well, that's got to be Amanda back there, so I'll go talk to her, and, uh, I'll get a read on her mental state.

“What if she's already possessed?” Sam asks him.

“There's ways to test that.” He answers, going into his bag and diving out a flask looking bottle with the Virgin Mary on it. “I brought holy water.”

“No” Sam snatches the bottle tucking it inside his hoodie, almost hitting me in the face as he took it. “I think we can go more subtle. If she's possessed, she'll flinch at the name of God.”

“Oh. Nice.” Dean turns to go, letting go of my hand in the process.

“Hey.” Sam calls out, stopping his brother in his tracks.

“What?” Dean asks

“Say it in Latin.” Sam reminds.

“I know.” Dean leaves again, only making it a few steps before Sam calls out again, “Okay. Hey!”

“What?!” Dean almost shouts, annoyed.

“Uh, in Latin, it's ‘Christo’” Sam answers.

“Dude, I know! I'm not an idiot!” Dean snaps back, this time being able to walk away without restriction.

I turn my head to Sam, “I feel like I should be going with him.”

“Yeah…probably” He answers.

With a nod I unbuckle myself getting up to follow after Dean.

“Dean!” I call out touching his arm as I catch up to him.

“What are you doing here?” He asks me.

“I’m here for moral support!” I say smiling as we enter the back portion of the plane seeing a blond woman fussing with a cart of drinks and napkins.

“Hi.” Dean greets her awkwardly.

“Hi. Can I help you with something?” She asks us, her eyes suddenly widening, “Oh, wait, are you guys trying to join the Mile High Club?” She adds looking uncomfortable now.

“What’s tha-“ I try to ask, getting cut off by a frantic Dean.

“No! no, no, no. I, uh, I'm just a bit of an uneasy flier. It makes me feel better to walk around a little bit, and she’s here for moral support.” He stammers out, eyes wide.

“Oh, I'm so sorry for the confusion. But flight anxiety happens to the best of us.” She offers, meanwhile I'm still confused on what this club is.

“Of course, you being a stewardess, I guess flying comes easy to you.” Dean replies, getting back on track.

She laughs, “You'd be surprised.”

“Really? You’re a nervous flier?” I ask her, even though I know anyone would be after experiencing what she had.

“Yeah, maybe, little bit.” She answers.

“How is it that, being a stewardess, you're scared to fly?” Dean chimes in, scratching his chin.

“Kind of a long story.” She responds.

“Right. I'm sorry for asking.” Dean apologized.

I have to say this is the most awkward conversation I’ve ever witnessed Dean be in, especially when it came to women as much as I hate to say it.

“It's okay.” She says.

“You ever consider other employment?” Dean asks her, and I'm starting to wonder if she thinks this random guy talking to her is strange.

“No. Look, everybody's scared of something. I just, uh...I'm not gonna let it hold me back.” She answered confidently, shaking her head.

“Huh.” Dean hums.

“So…” She trails off, probably wanting this awkward encounter to stop.

“Christo.” Dean mumbles quietly under his breath.

“I'm sorry. Did you say something?” Amanda asks him, looking between us.

Dean hesitates, “Christo?”

“I—I didn't, I didn't…” She stutters, clearly lost. If she hadn’t found him strange before she definitely did now.

“Yeah, nothing. Never mind.” Dean answers, turning around swiftly, grabbing my hand in the process as he leads us back to our seats.

“All right, well, she's got to be the most well-adjusted person on the planet.” Dean informs, sitting back down.

“That was the most awkward conversation I have ever been a part of. I mean seriously what is this ‘Mile High Club’ and why would we be joining it?” I ask no one in particular.

Both boys are quiet, oddly quiet so I turn my head first towards Sam seeing his eyes wide as he holds back a laugh between tightly closed lips. I give him a weird, questioning look before turning towards Dean who also has widened eyes as he makes a throat cut gesture towards his younger brother. He spots me looking at him strangely and immediately drops the motion, smiling at me instead.

“Ok then, weirdos.” I scuffed, “Back on the topic of the hunt there’s definitely no demon in her, Dean did the whole ‘Christo’ thing. And there's no demon getting into her”

Sam clears his throat as if he was getting rid of whatever came over him, “So, if it's on the plane, it can be anyone. Anywhere.”

“Exactly, so not very helpful” I add.

The plane suddenly shakes again, “Come on! That can't be normal!” Dean shouts his grip back on the arm rests.

“Hey, hey, it's just a little turbulence.” Sam reassured, and I nodded along with him.

“Sam, this plane is going to crash, okay? So quit treating me like I'm friggin' four.” Dean exclaims.

“You need to calm down.” Sam tells him.

“Well, I'm sorry I can't.” Dean snaps back.

“Yes, you can.” Sam reassures him.

“Yeah, you can take deep breaths, we'll do it with you if that helps” I add.

“Guys, stow the touchy-feely, self-help yoga crap, it's not helping.” Dean grumbles

“Sorry” I whisper.

“Listen, if you're panicked, you're wide open to demonic possession, so you need to calm yourself down. Right now.” Sam orders, and a little surprisingly, Dean follows, taking a long slow breath in.

“Good. Now, I found an exorcism in here that I think is gonna work. The Rituale Romanum.” Sam notifies us, pulling out his Dads journal. “It's two parts. The first part expels the demon from the victim's body. It makes it manifest, which actually makes it more powerful.”

“More powerful?” Dean asks him.

“Yeah.”

“How?”

“Well, it doesn't need to possess someone anymore. It can just wreak havoc on its own.” Sam explains.

“And why would that be a good thing?” I ask, chiming in.

“Well, because the second part sends the bastard back to hell once and for all.” Sam finishes.

“First things first, we got to find it.” Dean gets up from his seat walking slowly up the aisle with his DIY EMF meter. Sam and I get up following him, I allow Sam to get in front of me. He claps a hand on Dean's shoulder, making him jump, “Ah! Don't do that.”

“Anything?” Sam asks him.

“No, nothing. How much time we got?”

“Fifteen minutes” I chime in, calling out from behind the two taller men.

“Maybe we missed somebody.” Sam adds.

“Maybe the thing's just not on the plane.” Dean suggests.

Sam gives him a pointed look, “You believe that?”

“Well, I will if you will.” Dean comments, looking down at the EMF as the meter suddenly spikes.

The copilot exits the bathroom, heading towards the cockpit.

“What? What is it?” Sam asks.

“Christo.”

The Copilot turns slowly, facing us. His eyes turning black as he peers behind his shoulder, he turns back around going into the cockpit.

We head to the back of the plane, back to Amanda.

“She's not gonna believe this.” Sam warns.

“Twelve minutes, dude.” Dean points out.

“Oh, hi. Flight's not too bumpy for you, I hope.” Amanda greets sweetly despite how odd her last conversation with us was.

“Actually, that's kind of what we need to talk to you about.” Dean begins, as Sam closes the curtain.

“Um, okay. What can I do for you?” She answers looking at us weirdly again.

“All right, this is gonna sound nuts, but we just don't have time for the whole "the truth is out there" speech right now.” Dean explains

“All right, look, we know you were on flight 2485.” Sam adds.

Amanda's smile disappears, “Who are you guys?”

But she does not get the answer she’s looking for as Sam explains, “Now, we've spoken to some of the other survivors. We know something brought down that plane and it wasn't a mechanical failure.”

“We really need your help because we need to stop it from happening again. Right now.” I plead.

“I'm sorry, I—I'm very busy. I have to go back—“ She stammers, trying to brush past Dean who stops her.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second. I'm not gonna hurt you, okay? But listen to me, uh...The pilot in 2485, Chuck Lambert. He's dead.”

“Wait. What? What, Chuck is dead?” She exclaims, eyes wide.

“He died in a plane crash. Now, that's two plane crashes in two months. That doesn't strike you as strange?” Dean asks.

“I—“ Amanda starts getting cut off by Sam, “Look, there was something wrong with 2485. Now maybe you sensed it, maybe you didn't. But there's something wrong with this flight, too.”

“Amanda, you have to believe us.” Dean urged

“On...on 2485, there was this man. He...had these eyes.” Amanda tries to explain.

“Yes. That's exactly what we're talking about.” Sam responds.

“I don't understand, what are you asking me to do?” She looks between us.

“Okay. The copilot, we need you to bring him back here.” Dean explains.

“Why? What does he have to do with anything?” She asks him.

“Don't have time to explain. We just need to talk to him. Okay?” Dean pushes.

“How am I supposed to go in the cockpit and get the copilot—“ She tries to ask getting cut off yet again by Sam, “Do whatever it takes. Tell him there's something broken back here, whatever will get him out of that cockpit.”

“Do you know that I could lose my job if you—“ She tries again this time getting cut off by me, “Please, Amanda your job isn’t going to exist in a couple minutes if you don’t bring him back here.”

I feel bad for having to scare her like this but we don’t have a choice here.

She hesitates and I can see her considering her options in her head, “Okay.”

She leaves us, heading to the cockpit as we get in position. Sam pulls out the holy water and Dean pulls out his Dads journal handing it to Sam who opens it.

“Yeah, what's the problem?” A male voice rings out, the Co-Pilot walking through the curtain.

Dean launches forward, punching him in the face. The man stumbles back, Dean uses that leverage to grab the guy and slam him to the ground. Pinning him down as he puts duct tape over his mouth.

“Wait. What are you doing? You said you were just gonna talk to him.” Amanda exclaims.

“We are gonna talk to him.” Dean answers, Sam splashing the holy water on the man’s skin, making it sizzle and bubble at the contact.

“Oh, my god. What's wrong with him?” She stammered, backing up.

“Look. We need you calm. We need you outside the curtain.” Sam commands.

“Well, I don't underst—I don't know—“ Amanda whispered, fearfully.

“Sam start reading” I order taking over the role of getting Amanda out, “You can’t let anyone in, Amanda please. Can you do that?” I ask her, leading her closer to the curtain.

“Okay. Okay.” She finally agrees, leaving. Meanwhile Sam began his reading kneeling down near the Demon, “Regna terrae, cantate Deo, psallite Domino—“

The demon manages to break free, swinging his arm out at Sam causing the holy water to go flying, in that one moment of distraction the demon manages to shove Dean backwards and hit Sam back into the wall.

I launch into movement, pinning his arms to the side of his head. I'm not physically stronger than Dean but I’m not exactly going to wait around either.

Sam leans up, picking up where he left off. Dean kneels by my side holding down the arm of the demon who lashes beneath me. He breaks free again shoving me off, the side of my head hitting into the wall of the plane hard, and backhanding Dean in the face making him stumble back.

He rips the tape off his mouth, grabbing Sam by the collar, “I know what happened to your girlfriend! She must have died screaming! Even now, she's burning!”

Dean recovers much quicker than I, punching the demon and pinning him down once more.

“Sam!” Dean yells.

Sam begins reading again, putting the book down to help Dean pin down the Demon. I pick myself up, ignoring the spinning of my head to hold down the guy's other arm.

The demon lashes again, when finally black smoke leaves the Copilots mouth and disappears.

“Where'd it go?” Sam asks, looking up.

“It's in the plane. Hurry up. We got to finish it.”

We all stand up, determined to finish this when suddenly the plane dips and heaves violently. The movement successfully threw me to the ground, every time I tried to get up or move the heaving threw me down again like a baby who’s just learning how to walk. Meanwhile Deans splayed against the exit door screaming.

Sam somehow manages to keep moving despite the violent movement, army crackling into the aisle looking for the book.

A sudden bright electrical charge runs through the entire plane, which ends the hectic movement.

I hear chatter and sighs of relief, even though I'm all the way in the back of the plane. I stumble as I stand, walking over to Dean who still remains splayed against the door despite the plane flying as normal. I place a hand on his arm, as to say without words he’s okay, he looks down at me, his eyes wide and full with fear.

He carefully removes himself from the wall to enclose me in a tight hug, his head coming down to rest on my shoulder. I wrap one arm around his back, the other going to hold his head to me, my fingers in his hair, his breath heavy as I feel it fan on my neck.

I don’t mind the fact that I had to stand on my tippy toes for his head to be on my shoulder more comfortably, not when I got to hold him so close and give him a moment of peace.

————————————————————————

Back at the airport all sorts of departments surrounded everyone, FBI, FAA, Paramedics, etc.

We headed for the exit, Sam walking just a bit ahead of us, his body and every movement was tense. Dean looks at me, asking without words if he should say something I nod in confirmation.

“You okay?” he asks, Sam stops and turns.

“It knew about Jessica.” Sam seethes.

“Sam, these things, they, they read minds. They lie. All right? That's all it was.” Dean explains and I nod along with him.

“Yeah.” Sam breathes out.

“Come on.” Dean slaps a hand on Sam’s back, leading us out of there.

————————————————————————

“Nobody knows what you guys did, but I do. A lot of people could have been killed.” Jerry shakes each of our hands, “Your dad's gonna be real proud.”

“We'll see you around, Jerry.” Sam said.

We begin to head off when Dean stops short, “You know, Jerry.”

“Yeah.” He answers.

“I meant to ask you, how did you get my cellphone number, anyway? I've only had it for like six months.” Dean told him.

“Your dad gave it to me.” Jerry responded.

“What?” Sam and I say almost at the same time.

“When did you talk to him?” Dean asks, looking at Sam and then back to Jerry.

“I mean, I didn't exactly talk to him, but I called his number. His voice message said to give you a call.” Jerry explained, “Thanks again, guys” and he left.

“This doesn't make any sense, man. I've called Dad's number like fifty times. It's been out of service.” Sam exclaims.

Dean pulls out his phone in response, dialing a number and putting it on speaker phone for us to hear too.

“This is John Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency, call my son, Dean. 785-555-0179. He can help.”

We all look at each other, Sam huffs storming off to the car slamming the door behind him. I didn’t know what to say, and I don’t think Dean did either. With no other words we followed getting into the car and with a sigh Dean drove off.

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #fanfiction #sam winchester #supernatural #john winchester #slow burn #rewrite #romance #friends to lovers #airplane #phantom #witchcraft #witch reader #winchester x reader #the hunter and the witch

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ardentblossomings · 9 months

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Q E D and Z for the fandom ask. For Z, I would like you to talk about your oldest fandom you're still part of if that's okay!

P.S. I forgot how fun it is to send asks and spell things out, but I did try to keep a theme this time, heh.

(Previously on "ask games" . . . quod erat demonstrandum)

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

While I answered this previously, something else did come to mind here... not that it fully counts, but I was temporarily "known" as the "cosplay granny" due to a post I made... "Dig a little deeper" as an audio post with the caption "cosplaying" (Reminder - it starts with "don't matter what you look like")

Oh, also vine compilations for fandoms

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

Ironically, it's also Harry Potter. In retrospect, it does have to be said that I mostly liked it due to social pressure (read: close friends liked it), but apparently I was knowledgeable enough about this franchise that I counted as a go-to-person for questions. Still, if you want a magic school, Little Witch Academia is definitely the better pic. Or even Winx Club. Probably also other franchises I cannot think about at the moment.

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Akemi and Akai, and Furuya and Azusa... they just have no flavour to me (and Furuya in particular just doesn't strike me as interested in women... not saying he has to be gay, just - not straight imo)

There are a few pairings I dislike without the "wish you liked" part... which makes this question a lot more difficult. But I suppose I could count Iron Bull x Dorian Pavus into this, as they DO have cute fanart and CAN be read as cute... I just dislike how they started off a lot (dubious consent).

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

Okay, here's the thing: I don't recall my first fandom. Detective Conan, Sailor Moon, Digimon, and Pokémon are all animes that I've watched when very young... Pokémon Red, Yellow, and Gold are games I additionally had played back then. I also watched Winx Club, read W.i.t.c.h., and a few other things, but those came later.

I'm still mostly a fan of DCMK, Digimon, and Pokémon - while I still enjoy Sailor Moon, it has since moved to the back of my mind... and well, Pokémon has lost me until the B&W remakes drop (even if I still like it conceptually - I only watch specials, and rarely play anything). Which leaves me with Detective Conan and Digimon, to keep it interesting.

For Z, I would like you to talk about your oldest fandom you're still part of, if that's okay!

I'll die on the hill that Detective Conan should get the Naruto Shippuuden treatment: Just bring Shinichi back. Call it "Detective Conan ~Kudou Shinichi's Return~" for all I care, but it's about time that we see him again. He probably should defeat the Organization, too, but I'd settle for just having him back and coming clean to his loved ones (Ran), who are in danger anyways.

As for Digimon... I've always been of the opinion that Digimon, unlike Pokémon, has a great thing going with its alternative universes. No straight evolution lines, no straight Digi-Destined or Tamers or what'cha-call-its. By making everything AU, you keep your possibilities endless.... now if only they'd make better use of it. Also, in spite of what I just said, I wish they'd just straight up remastered Adventures instead of remaking it/changing it.

#asks #thanks for the tea

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tarhalindur · 3 years

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Hurr durr. I have been a fool.

So, I was thinking through a “how to fix Sotsu” post, and noting that unlike some people I didn’t exactly mind the Gou episode 17 reveal because I got the impression that my old “the biggest deception in Gou is that it’s a mystery to be solved at all” take is correct and the core arc of Sotsugou is something other than a mystery.

And then it hit me: I’ve seen this kind of arc before, and I should have realized this quite a bit earlier than I did considering where I’ve seen it.

Satokowashi-hen and Sotsu don’t follow the structure of an OG Higurashi arc. They might follow the structure of a broader Umineko character arc - my only partial familiarity with Seacats is showing. But what Satokowashi-hen and Sotsu definitely follow is the structure of a *PMMM* arc. That is to say, Sotsugou isn’t a mystery - rather, it is a *tragedy*.

(Sotsugou is nowhere near as good at it as PMMM is, mind you. Gen “Urobutcher” Urobutchi might seriously be the best tragedy writer in at least a century, and while I can’t speak to Umineko Ryukishi07′s attempt at a tragic character arc in OG Higurashi might well be my pick for the single weakest element of the original - it’s a rather typical kind of bad, too, reminds me very much of Elfen Lied (and I’ve seen similar criticisms leveled at a couple of MagiReco character backstories). But the core structure is the same, and honestly I can see a pretty solid argument that the core arc is better-executed than the relevant OG Higurashi element and the issues come from Sotsugou’s execution more generally.)

Spoilery explanation (for both franchises) under the cut:

A character runs into an unpleasant situation that’s ultimately quite minor in the grand scheme of things (something that happens to actual people all the time), is unable to really cope with it due to untreated mental illness, and this is then escalated into a larger catastrophe due to the intervention of an outside being offering a deal that ultimately results in the character becoming a Witch? That’s a pretty fair summation of Satoko’s Sotsugou arc (where the untreated mental illness is ADHD plus social anxiety - we know she’s been diagnosed with the latter, courtesy of Dr. Irie in Minagoroshi-hen). It is also a precise summation of Sayaka’s character arc in main series PMMM (where the mental illness is depression), and if you expand the terms a little (moderately less common situation with more supernatural influence courtesy of first timeline Madoka, majo -> akuma) and include Rebellion Homura’s character arc pretty much fits the description as well (not sure about ADHD, but I’d be shocked if Homura isn’t on the autism spectrum and suffering from Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria herself). (Half the reason I’m facepalming is because I’ve only been making “Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni: The Rebellion Story” not-actually-jokes-anymore for almost a year now, and I raised the Eua-Kyubey comparison during Satokowashi-hen to boot.) Honestly, if this is right then one of the single biggest Sotsugou mistakes is never using the resident author avatar (just to be clear, that’s spelled “Eua”) to explicitly point this out because we’re all so used to mystery mode that we weren’t going to switch gears without prompting..

It would also neatly explain parts of Sotsu’s structure. At some level the answer to every murder mystery’s whydunnit is a tragedy, the explanation of exactly what drove a character to the unspeakable (see also: Othello). If Sotsugou is in fact supposed to be a tragedy disguised as a mystery, then conceptually the framework they built the structure on makes sense: reveal the culprit at the point when the show fully transitions into a PMMM-style tragedy, then frame the tragic arc as an extended whydunnit. Fair enough.

(Aside: ... Uh, hmm. My brain spit out another idea: is part of the reason for the sheer amount of repetition in Sotsu that it’s inspired by how Madoka changes on a rewatch (the signature Madoka rewatch experience: shouting “YOU CHEEKY MOTHERFUCKERS” at the screen as you notice yet another piece of blatant foreshadowing hiding in plain sight)? I wouldn’t put it past Ryukishi07, though if so either he or someone at Passione seriously botched the execution. Oh wait, that’s basically Sotsugou’s tagline as a whole, so...)

(You could also argue that Sotsugou is using a Butch Gen plot as well more than a Ryukishi07 one; refusal to compromise leading to disastrous consequences is another Urobutcher thing.)

Now, if this is actually the intent then they fucked it up. First, as mentioned above the extant fanbase was primed to view Sotsugou’s structure as the traditional When They Cry arc structure - question arcs setting up the mystery, followed by answer arcs gradually narrowing down the solution space until the truth is revealed. If you’re going to break from that and want your existing fans to follow along, you need a signal that the rules have changed, and they didn’t give a good enough one. (Or Ryukishi07 was intentionally trying to pull one over on the fans, but that only works if the fans notice.) Second. they chased two rabbits and lost them both by trying to bring in other Umineko concepts at the same time (mostly the poorly set-up illusions to illusions solve for Tataridamashi-hen); on a related note, if the plan after Nekodamashi-hen was actually a tragedy then they really needed to focus on Satoko even more than they did. Third, the characterizations of the most important characters feel off; Satoko goes off the deep end too quickly for a proper tragic arc, Rika has a major disjoint with her OG characterization (manga Nekodamashi-hen fixes this to some extent, so this may be an anime staff issue). One of Butch Gen’s core themes as a writer is hamartia, tragedy driven by the flaws of the characters, and these issues with characterization put a major damper on any attempt on Sotsugou’s part to replicate that. Relatedly and compounding this, as I have noted before it sure does feel like part of Ryukishi07's thought process when writing Lambdatoko was looking at Homura’s detractors and going “let me show you what a character this actually applies to looks like” (which would also play into Ryukishi07′s usual “even the worst monsters can be redeemed” theme), but this works at cross purposes with the tragic arc (I don’t think it theoretically *has* to, but making it work would take much better execution than Sotsugou has). Fourth and finally, they forgot the Endless Eight lesson when writing the Sotsu answer arcs. (If Sotsugou does end next week without any sign of another season or movie then add 5) they made the redemption a little too cheap. Again. OG had the same issue, after all. When They Cry themes as a solution to PMMM’s questions makes a ton of sense - there’s a reason I got the idea for that crossover, and it wasn’t just both casts yelling at me to make it - but there needs to be actual work for it.)

That said... if this is right, then the base idea is solid. It *could* have worked. It just didn’t.

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jhaernyl · 4 years

Text

Big Damn Table challenge

Character: OC - Vincent Conner Bolton [original story]

Prompt #30 - Death

Age did not sneak up on her. It did not come around while she was unsuspecting or distracted and then suddenly made her hair pale from blonde into grey and white, it did not take her by surprise.

She didn't wake up one morning and look herself in the mirror and thought Damnit, I look old.

She wasn't fooled by the youth of her witch husband, witches live up to three hundred years when they take care of themselves and that's without any attempts at cheating Khage out of her dues, or that of her shifter husbands, shifters live up to two hundred years as long as they don't do something idiotic and get themselves killed earlier than that.

She never forgot that she wasn't ageing at the same pace as them, that as a human she'd get a little bit more than a hundred years if she was stubborn enough and followed Roman's regimes well enough, both things she was definitely going to do, and it did not surprise her that she ended up being the older and more responsible one of the four of them, five counting Anatoly and Anatoly ought never to be counted because Anatoly decided he was her mom friend about thirty seconds into meeting her and hasn't budged from that role since, no matter how much more mature she grew up to be.

It's all down to developmental differences, because of different lifespans leading to different ageing processes and that extends all the way to brain chemistry and energy levels and how that affects how young or old someone is liable to both be and feel on any given day.

She is younger than Roman, and Anatoly, by five years, two years younger then Dominic and the same age as Hugo but by now they are the young ones and she is far older than they will get to be for a very long time yet. They are in their prime, as far as their ageing is concerned, all of them in their sixties and their sixties meaning to them not at all what her sixties mean to Vincent.

Childhood, teens, young adulthood, adulthood, late adulthood, elderly.

The six ages of life and the common divide accepted for races, as watched over by the Goddess and Ianna both, the Goddess because all of creation is hers to look after and Ianna because she was a witch healer that Ascended, became the goddess who watches over the domain of preserving life and easing the effects of the natural passing of time.

(Rome prays to Ianna plenty, on Vincent's behalf, because Vincent will look after herself but she won't pray, has never prayed since the child she had once been was lost and Vincent herself was born of the violent, murky Wild that was left in her stead.)

Physically, the gods have deemed it just and fair that they all age the same in their early years, hitting physical landmarks at around the same times until they get to eighteen, at which point the ageing rate slows down for shifters and witches, at different degrees, and stays the same for humans.

Childhood for humans lasts from their birth to their twelve years of age but a shifter is considered a child until they are fourteen and for witches it depends from bloodline to bloodline though it is generally agreed not to last more than eleven years old.

Human teens are so from their twelve birthday to their nineteenth and then they enter their young adult years and stay in them until they hit their thirtieth year. They are adults from their thirtieth year to their fiftieth and that's when they enter the late adulthood phase of their life, dovetailing into the elderly category on their seventieth birthday.

Witches are considered teens, again with some leeway depending on bloodline, from their eleventh birthday to their nineteenth, because witches are born knowing the Truth Of The World and that ages them differently, just as their magic does develop differently than a shifter's abilities do. Once they mature out of their teens, however, that's when witches ages start to stretch out exponentially. A witch is considered a young adult from their nineteenth birthday to their ninetieth and an adult from that one to their two hundredths. They count as late adults from two hundred to two hundred and seventy years of age and then from that one until their death they are considered to be elderly. Most of them get to elderly easily, witches being very good at keeping their lifespan intact.

Rome in their sixties is still a young adult, his brain chemistry still in the same phase Vincent's was when she was in her twenties. Vincent in her sixties is in the place Rome will be when they get past two hundred by a couple of decades.

(She wishes she could be around to see it, to share it with all of them, with her husband Roman and her best friend Roma and with her equal best friend Rome, but not so much that she would do anything that would require her to give up her humanity for it. She is, and always has been, human, technical definitions and unasked for interventions be fucking damned. It has always been her choice. It will always be her choice.)

Shifters are somewhat more even than witches when it comes to their lives. They consider their own to be teens from their fourteenth year to their twenty-fifth, young adults from their twenty-fifth to their seventieth birthday, adults from the age of seventy to the age of one twenty, late adults from then to their one hundred and seventy birthday and elderly for the last thirty years of their life.

It seems to be a theme, to leave elderly age for the last three decades of one's life. It is at least treated about the same in all three races.

(It is another reason why empty quarters are considered to be practically humans, along with the fact that they do have none of the physical gifts actual shifters are born with to go with all of the instincts they are supposed to be born with. Empty quarters age as humans do whereas quarter blood age as shifters do and have the gifts to go with the instincts.

It's one of the ways Vincent has been able to grind her humanity in the face of any shifter who tried to deny her the truth of her choice.

If she'd been one of them, as they insisted if she'd been as good as she was because she was part of a superior breed as most of the ones from the Lands believes themselves to be, she'd have the ageing and the natural abilities wouldn't she? She doesn't and she's not and she's all the better as she is. She's fucking damn perfect as she is and they can choke on it and on her still bench pressing Hugo and still outshooting any of those who tried to show her up, even in her sixties and needing glasses to read things up close.

Fuck the lot of them and their assumptions that she'd have to be anything more than human to be who she is and as good as she is. Collective fucking represents, assholes.)

Vincent is a late adult to her husband's young adults and while they all met in their twenties and they've been together since and their ages are all close chronologically, by now she's basically cradle robbing if you went by comparative ages and developmental levels.

Those two factors are why there are so many shifters who don't settle down until they hit their late eighties and why so many inter-races romances have what look like heavy age differentials that are actually inexistent from a developmental level. A shifter in their one hundred and fifties would be around the same mental age Vincent is now and that's why most of them settle down and marry old with chronologically much younger humans. Witches who decide to settle down are pretty much the same, choosing partners with huge age differentials that actually mean very little when it comes to maturity levels.

She doesn't mind and she certainly won't give up any of her husbands, nor would they let her give them up either, but it does mean that she is older than the lot of them and that she worries for how they'll react to her inevitable decline and death. They are all far too invested in each other and they have all refused to let Vincent be anything but the lynchpin of their worlds.

Once Khage takes her away, they will fall apart and it pisses Vincent off that she won't be able to prevent it, that she won't be there for them, that she'll be trapped in Khage's hands and kept from them, able to witness their grief through the waters of the Fields but unable to do shit all about it. It has always pissed her off, will never stop pissing her off.

It's why she signs off on the funding and the secrecy qualification for Mar's Great Equalizer project, when it was brought up to her attention.

She won't give up her humanity.

That does not mean that she'll let Khage take her away without a bloody fucking fight.

#Jhae's original material #words words words #February 9th 2020 #Big Damn Table for Vincent #my writing #my original writing #my ocs #Vincent Bolton #Here's To Us 'Verse

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hpconsentfest · 6 years

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Weekly Roundup 1

Hey All! Here’s our first HD Consent Fest Weekly Roundup! If you’ve missed some of the works as they’ve been released, here’s the list of what was posted this week.

Thanks to all the creators, (cheer)readers, and commenters for getting the fest of to a cracking start! <3

ART:

Title: Suits and Serenity Artist: Anonymous Prompt: 3: One works as a public defender, the other works for the prosecutor’s office. The sparks fly both in and out of the courtroom. # 3 Rating: PG Warnings/Content Notes: Established married relationship Summary: “You looked hot out there today.” “Don’t I always?” “Mhm, can I kiss you now?” "I thought you’d never ask” Medium: Digital Art Artist’s Notes: So, I decided not to go with explicitly showing what they do after Harry attains Draco’s consent, because I felt it would take away from the essence of the art. My vision is to show that even after years of their marriage, Harry and Draco still ask for each other’s consent. They look comfortable in the drawing due to an established relationship, but that doesn’t mean that it would stop them from asking each other’s permission before just kissing. Thank you to the mods for arranging such a wonderful fest! It truly has been a pleasure!

Suits and Serenity

FIC:

Title: Start a Revolution (From My Bed) Author: Anonymous Prompt: # 54 Rating: T Warnings/Content Notes: Eighth Year, Coming of Age, Pining, Humour, Persons of Colour Hermione Granger and Harry Potter, Supportive Ron Weasley, Friendship, Open/Hopeful Ending, Sexism, Racism, Very Brief Mention of Past Abortion, Gender Studies, Party, Alcohol, Breakfast, Jam, Footnotes, Crafts Summary: Harry’s coming of age starts at breakfast. A peek into the lives of the Eighth Years as they become bona fide feminists over jam and croquet. Featuring the fear of growing apart, Blur and a pink cravat. Word Count: 29755 Author’s Notes: The title is taken from ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’ by Oasis. Many thanks to the mods, my alpha and my betas. This couldn’t have happened without you.

Start a Revolution (From My Bed)

Title: Cold Like Fire Author: Anonymous Prompt: Draco giving a “Consent is Sexy” training at the Ministry after there had been problems with witches and wizards being harassed. Draco using Harry to demonstrate ways to ask for consent? Rating: Mature Warnings/Content Notes: Discussions of consent theory, reference to rape in theory only Summary: Head Auror, Harry Potter, had no problem with mandatory consent training for his team. He’d actually been looking forward to it, that is until he discovered who the teacher was. Now, he had no idea how he was going to get through the training without throwing a hex at Draco Malfoy. Or a punch. Word Count: 12k Author’s Notes: Love to my beta BB.

Cold Like Fire

Title: A Gift for Draco Author: Anonymous Prompt: #66 - When Harry can’t think of a Valentines present for Draco, he teams up with budding photographer Pansy Parkinson to take nudes (the photos can only be seen by the person who gave them and the person they’re given to) all over Hogwarts to surprise his boyfriend. # 66 Rating: Explicit Warnings/Content Notes: No Warnings Apply Summary:Though their new relationship is going well, both Harry and Draco have trouble communicating and are holding back from taking things to the next level–both emotionally and sexually. When Harry decides he is ready for more, he stumbles over how to start the conversation, but figures out a plan with the help of his friends. He comes up with the perfect Valentine’s Day gift to show Draco trust, commitment, and desire: sexy pictures of his naked arse. Thankfully, Pansy Parkinson has a camera and is willing to help… Word Count: 33,492 Author’s Notes: Huge thank you to the Mods for this awesome, positive sexy Consent Fest! It was a lot of fun to explore themes of consent, changing boundaries, and finding creative ways to communicate consent in a relationship. Many thanks to my beta, D, who fixed typos, workshopped dialogue, and squished a bunch of ramblings into a story with a theme. Disclaimer - I don’t own them.

A Gift for Draco

Title: When Nightmares Lead to Day Dreams Author: Anonymous Prompt: #22 Rating: Explicit Warning/Content Notes: No archive warnings apply Summary: Harry Potter didn’t want to return to Hogwarts for 8th year, concerned that the castle held too many terrible memories. Lacking any other plan, though, he agreed. He soon discovered how right AND how wrong he was. Word Count: 9,231 Author’s Notes: First, I want to thank the ConsentFest Mods for pulling this incredibly timely and important fest together. I also want to applaud their patience with a newbie like me who doesn’t know time management if it blocked my schedule itself. The prompts for this fest were beyond amazing and I had such a hard time narrowing down the selection. I only hope I have been able to please my prompter and help explore ideas of consent. Secondly, I literally would not be half the writer I am without my amazing, selfless Betas that came together and spent their weekend working with me. To C and G - you are my literal baby angels and I am so happy we have been able to connect over this crazy, intoxicating world of Harry Potter Fanfic!

When Nightmares Lead to Day Dreams

Title: I Don’t Want This to Be a Mistake Author: Anonymous Prompt: # 49 Rating: Explicit Warnings/Content Notes: Lots of sexual tension, professor!Harry, Father!Draco Summary: Consent can be tricky when Harry is Scorpius’ professor. Word Count: 5500 Author’s Notes: A big thanks to my beta, L!

I Don’t Want This to Be a Mistake

Title: Treat Your Body Like A Temple Author: Anonymous Prompt: Whether it be for kissing, touching, or sucking, Harry’s gotten into the habit of breathing, “May I?” against Draco’s skin. #20 Rating: mature Warnings/Content Notes: No Archive Warnings Apply Summary: It hadn’t been easy, and it hadn’t been fast, but after many years Harry had finally gained Draco’s trust. Now he woke up next to him every day, and he knew just the way to show the Slytherin how grateful he was for that. Word Count: 1707 Author’s Notes: Beta-read by the wonderful MM (thank you love<3). This was my first attempt at smut, so I do hope it was somewhat decent. It was great fun to write this, especially for this amazing fest. Consent is such an important subject, and it should get more attention. I hope I did that in this ficlet. Great thank you to the mods of the fest why reminded my dumb ass to submit this after I sort-of completly forgot, whoops.

Treat Your Body Like A Temple

Title: Bloody Tease Author: Anonymous Prompt: # 50 - Harry gives consent loudly and with delicious details, but somehow Draco just isn’t convinced. (Or basically Draco teases Harry mercilessly). Rating: E Warnings/Content Notes: Explicit sexual content Summary: Draco wants to be sure that Harry is willing. Very, very sure. Word Count: 1433 Author’s Notes: Thank you to s for the beta on this fic.

Bloody Tease

Title: Have Me Then Author: Anonymous Prompt: OWN Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Content Notes: unenthusiastic consensual sex between Draco and another character (detailed in the notes before the fic on AO3, explaining this tag better), infidelity, Female Draco, Canon What Canon, Alive Sirius, Cousin Incest (heavily implied, not visual), Misogyny, Slut Shaming By Another Character Summary: In Draco’s world, women are expected to be demure, non-lusting creatures. They are expected to be devoted while their husbands cater to base desires with women of the evening. All passions they are permitted lie between dusty, well-worn pages of romance novels. Draco doesn’t want to be that woman, but as she spends her days—unfulfilled—in the arms of a boring lover she dreams of more. Potter is so much more than she could imagine. Word Count: 3,632 Author’s Notes: Decided to do before for a brief warning. Draco consents to sleep with Theo, but when they are together she clearly is unenthusiastic and fulfilling a duty. This might be traumatic for some. I did not write it with the intention of dubious consent and K my beta, and one of the mods of the fest, assured me it was within the bounds of the fest. It was written to showcase how she wants better than what she is getting with him. The idea of consent that I tried to work with was that Draco has been raised in shame and Harry is patient with her, asking her to voice what she wants from/with him—as explicitly as she can. It is supposed to be a woman finding her own agency in sex, and knowing that it is okay to want more and not settling for anything less. IDK if it came across like that, I kinda wrote it in two days since I had a lot going on and forgot I had a deadline. It was definitely intended to be longer.

Tagged “Always A Girl” because I kept getting traffic on a thing and some DM’s asking for a continuation. This ISN’T a continuation but *jazz hands* more Female Draco.

Have Me Then

Title: A Hag, a Hex, a Tale of Redemption Author: Anonymous Prompt: # 58 Rating: E Warnings/Content Notes: Fuck or die, hags, curses, wandcraft, wandmaker Harry Potter, Muggle life, clubbing, tattoos, mild recreational drug use, angst, falling in love, getting together, kiss consent, safe sex, anal sex, oral sex, non-penetrative sex, switching, minor Ron/Hermione Summary: A fuck-or-die fairytale in which Draco Malfoy lives a despicable and unapologetic life — that is, until he’s cursed to die unless he can fall in love with and fuck Harry Potter. Word Count: 43,345 Author’s Notes: Huge thanks to the crew—you know who you are.

A Hag, a Hex, a Tale of Redemption

#weekly roundup

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dramioneasks · 7 years

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More Halloween Fics:

Halloween Kiss by keerawritesfic - M, one-shot - In the beginning of Eighth Year, Parvati, Ginny, Luna and Hermione convince Headmistress McGonagall that they need a much deserved Halloweenparty for the 16-and-overs. As the title implies, there's a Halloween kiss involved... Dramione. One-shot.

Something Wicked by astorianox - T, 5 chapters - Halloween 1998, the first since Voldemort's demise. Hogwarts celebrates it's first annual costume ball. Hermione has returned to Hogwarts, so has Malfoy who's become some sort of wallflower. Despite it being Hermione's favorite time of year, she's distracted by Malfoy's odd reclusiveness. Perhaps someone spiked the cider, but something's definitely brewing between the pair.

Uninvited by TinkTingeling - T, one-shot - Halloween, a masquerade, hidden identities, Hermione Granger & Draco Malfoy. "Please stay. Dance with me."

The Masquerade by R.caseyseale - T, one shot - Draco decides to use the Halloween Masquerade Ball at Hogwarts as his chance to finally pursue the girl he has secretly liked for two years, Hermione Granger. This fanfic was the winner of the best overall and best feels award on the platform 9 3/4 October one shot fan fic writing contest! Thanks to Ariel riddle for the cover art!

Squirm by MrBenzedrine - M, 28 chapters - Written for Halloween, 2016. Dramione. Rated M for non-con themes, as well as implied horror. TRIGGER WARNING. Draco Malfoy falls into a strange obsession with Hermione Granger. But it's a risk -he holds a dark, sinister secret, and if he becomes too close, she just might find out what it is. Dark Fic. WIP. **WINNER: Best WIP 2017 Winter Dramione Awards** *Complete*

The Samhain Ball by KittyleFay - E, one-shot - As Hogwarts hosts a masked ball for Samhain, Draco seeks solace from his boredom in a particularly extraordinary witch...and he has no idea who she is.

The Halloween Costume Conundrum by AlexandraO - E, one-shot - After buying a risque costume for the 8th year costume party, Hermione finds herself in the arms of a Slytherin Pharaoh, who ignites a hunger in her that will be difficult to satisfy.

Matchmaking en Masquerade by Anonymous - E, one-shot - Blaise Zabini and his fiancée Ginny have a plan... a plan to set their best friends up on a blind date. What harm could there be in that? Right? What could go wrong by setting up two enemies?

The Perfect Costume by enniferfs - G, one-shot - Finding matching Halloween costumes to suit a picky Malfoy is exasperating! Maybe Hermione just needs to trust him to do it; she might end up with the perfect costume.

A New Tradition by SnarkyGranger1 - G, one-shot - A cute Dramione tale with their son, Scorpius.

A Night That Will Haunt Your Dreams by astorianox - T, one-shot - Though the way Halloween is celebrated in the muggle world took some getting used to, Draco actually enjoys the holiday. He doesn't mind the costumes, he likes the decorations, he loves the candy, but hasn't yet developed a taste for the scares. Why muggles find it fun to get scared on purpose baffles him. To remedy this, Hermione plans a trip to the local haunted house attraction.

Scared Pantless by dramionelurver - T, one-shot - Hermione is scheduled to patrol with Ron. Unfortunately, he forgot, so she has to find a new patrolling partner. At the last possible minute. On Halloween.

The Healer and The Prince by Filisgare - E, one-shot - The Halloween Party just got a lot more fun!

Haunted by bentnotbroken1 - M, one-shot - Strictly Dramione Halloween 2017 Prompt: Hermione is being stalked. She fears her life is in danger, but no one seems to believe her.

A New Strain by ElleMartin - T, one-shot - Hermione accepts an invitation to the annual Halloween party at Malfoy Manor, and even agrees to bring along her boyfriend Draco, who hasn't been on good terms with his parents for years. He reluctantly agrees to accompany her as he's convinced that his parents have ulterior motives for inviting them both. Will his suspicions be proven right when Hermione is one of several partygoers to fall ill, or is it all just due to the recent bouts of flu that's been making the rounds?Written for Strictly Dramione's A Very Dramione Halloween 2017. My prompt was "She moved her arms experimentally and felt the rope that held her wrists tighten. She looked around and spotted an empty coffin lying open in the corner.'Oh, you're awake, Granger,' a sultry voice spoke from behind her. 'Something wicked this way comes...'"

Put Away the Fangs by HufflepuffMommy - M, one-shot - "Draco, my university friends are Muggles! Tell me you didn't invite an actual vampire to this Halloween party." "Calm down, Granger, the muggles will hear you."

An Occasional Fallacy by In_Dreams - M, one-shot - Hermione learns a few things about carving pumpkins. More importantly, she learns a few things about Draco Malfoy. Written as a part of Strictly Dramione's A Very Dramione Halloween 2017 competition.

Love Poison No. 9 by 18GryffindorBrat - M, one-shot - Draco Malfoy's untimely death can't stop him from pursuing Hermione Granger. He'll stop at nothing to get what he wants, even if it means going to extremes to do it.

Forgotten Costumes by ABlazingPhoenix - G, one-shot - My Prompt for the A Very Dramione Halloween Drabble/One-Shot Writing Contest.Draco had waited until the last minute to go costume shopping. He had promised Hermione he wouldn’t forget. He supposed he would have to improvise.“No, Dear. I remembered about the kids costumes. Mmhmm. Yes, they fit. Yes, I’m sure. Okay, love you. Bye.” Draco hung up the phone and eyed the children on his couch, NOT dressed in Halloween costumes.

Shack or Shriek! by NeverNik - E, one-shot - Every Halloween for six years, the Shrieking Shack has brought Hermione and Draco together in a truce that lasts for one evening. What will happen this year, the seventh and final? No Voldemort. E for sex scenes and profanity. Written for A Very Dramione Halloween Drabble/One-Shot Writing Contest 2017. I own the story, but J.K Rowling owns the Harry Potter universe.

#Halloween

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drunklander · 7 years

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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 303

Ok so I was out of town this weekend and rather than word-vomiting nonsense into evernote as I watched the episode like I usually do, I happy-flailed, rage-flailed, made incoherent noises while pointing at my phone, somehow managed to get myself buried in the pillows I was leaning on, chose to not unbury myself and eventually just kept dramatically flopping and throwing the blanket over my head because it was 2:30 in the morning and I was in a special kind of ridiculous mood that comes from running around a warehouse for two hours at the best version of Macbeth ever. (Third time going and it’s still one of my favorite things.)

Anywho...

I think this episode is my favorite so far this season? But like, I still have the same general feelings about it that I had after the first two? I liked Jamie’s side better because it didn’t make me rage. Claire’s side was just about Frank’s #manpain, because of course it was. Last week her side didn’t make me rage and was actually about her so of course now we’re back to #manpain. And obviously I have rage about it. It felt less rushed than the last two, but like I almost wish they cut back on the Claire and Frank stuff to give the Ardsmuir stuff a bit more time? Which isn’t to say that I think Claire is less important than Jamie or in any less pain than him or is any less broken or empty (I don’t feel that way *at all*), I just keep thinking that since they decided to literally just make her side of things about Frank and not explore her becoming a surgeon or her with Bree, that it could have be told in a more concise way since Jamie’s side of things has more plot points to hit along the way? I don’t know... Whatever, at least Frank’s dead now and went out as the steaming pile of shit he’s always been.

The word version of my dramatic flopping is under the cut...

Scotland

I like the walk and talk with LJG. Sets up everything without feeling like an exposition dump. Ok a little like an exposition dump, but I still like it.

Slash I like how we know Lord John remembers exactly who Jamie is and what he did just by him losing his cool for a second with “I’ll not dine with that--”. No further explanation necessary or given.

MURTAGH!!! Guys I’m still fucking ecstatic that they decided to save Murtagh. Like thank you, show. I know I shit on you on the reg, but holy shit thank you for saving Murtagh.

I can’t wait to see their reunion. I’m guessing since we didn’t get it here, we’ll maybe get it when Claire comes back and Jamie’s telling her that Murtagh survived? Like I’m guessing that scene and the Ellen’s tower scene and Claire doing surgery will be in ep. 306 when they’re telling each other what they’ve been through? Since Matt wrote this one and that one?

The first time watching this I was like ok he’s coughing. He can’t be coughing. Because coughing means he’s gonna die and he can’t have been saved just to die. But I love how it plays out.

And I *love* that it’s Murtagh’s bit of plaid. I love that he’s the one who is holding on to the old ways and to the memory of Claire and wants to talk about her. It’s a nice contrast to Jamie who has yet to say Claire’s name because it’s all he can do to hold himself together and talking about her and the baby with others would make him lose it completely. Like he clearly thinks about her all the time and uses what she taught him, but he never says her name because at this point that’s still too much.

I’m also really glad they cut the bit where the plaid was found and Jamie gets flogged again. We’ve seen him flogged enough times that we really don’t need to go back to that yet again. And I feel like with the small tweak to the stuff with Lord John, it wasn’t needed. I like that they just let the plaid be a small symbol that despite the English’s best efforts, the Highland culture hasn’t been entirely snuffed out.

Jamie using what Claire taught him to care for Murtagh and the men makes me feel all the feelings. He can’t say her name, but dammit he loves and misses her so much and has so much respect for her skills as a healer and *assumes fetal position*.

I giggle every time Lord John is referred to as John William Grey. Like they gotta keep including that middle name since they forgot his first name last year. (I know, I need to stop picking on that. But it was dumb and will never stop being dumb.)

I love the small expression on Lord John’s face when he finds out the men eat the rats. Like they’re prisoners but that’s an indignity too far? Reminded me of how Hal insisted that the men be propped up to be shot in ep. 301.

Lord John’s line about how heavy Jamie’s irons must feel give me preemptive sads for just how heavy they are and will remain for Jamie. Because he feels their weight for years after they’re struck off.

Jamie putting pride aside and asking for blankets for Murtagh specifically (not just asking as the leader of all the men) makes me want to hug him and tell him it’ll be ok. (Also, are we just ditching the Fraser part of Murtagh’s name? Because he’s just Murtagh Fitzgibbons twice in this episode? *shrug*) And the look on Lord John’s face there. Like he knows that it’s costing Jamie to expose a point of vulnerability here with this request for Murtagh and he can appreciate just how much Jamie must care for his kinsman since he’s willing to ask.

The look that comes over Jamie’s face while their theme plays as he thinks there’s a glimmer of hope that he can find Claire again murders me. In the best way possible.

“There’s nothing you can do that hasn’t already been done to me. So, try if you must.” Excuse me while I get a bit emotional.

Jamie’s hesitation before telling Murtagh that Kerr mentioned a white witch makes me feel things to the point where I almost forget that all the white witch stuff makes me roll my eyes, but they’re committed to it so whatever. Like telling Murtagh about it is a step beyond just hoping. It’s admitting out loud to that hope. And that’s a vulnerable place to be in, like it makes the hope a bit more real.

Murtagh talking about Claire and the baby and how he thinks of her and wanting to talk to Jamie about it is so sweet and I just love Murtagh so much and I’m so glad he’s not dead.

Seriously though, Jamie’s respect for Claire’s healing and dietary advice throughout this episode kills me with feelings. Frank uses her doctor title to try to hurt her while they fight. Jamie is just filled with respect for his wife’s skill.

Also, I love Jamie using his wine knowledge. Like the dude has suffered so damn much, I’m glad he got a little grin out of still being able to identify what wine it was.

And omg him telling the men about the food plays so much better in the show than it did in the book.

I giggled about the little hiding spot bit, but I really do love that the men respect him enough and are loyal enough that they go along with his plan instead of feeling like he’s abandoning them and rat him out.

And I do like the parallel of Jamie sneaking up on Lord John, but him calling him William Grey again and then reciting his birth order and father’s title really just rubs in again how silly it was to not just go with the name last year that he’s going to use for the rest of the series. (I’m letting this go now, I swear. Until the next time. Because apparently this is the hill I’m willing to die on.)

The flashbacks are a bit much though. Like we eventually see pretty much that entire scene from last year and I really don’t think it was necessary. But like, whatever, it’s not something I’m like ragey about. Just like, I feel like that time could have been better spent...

And yeah, since we didn’t see Jamie at the tower in this episode, I’m guessing we’re going to get it when he’s telling Claire about it. Which I’m here for. Like let us see the emotional part of it when we can then see Claire reacting to Jamie’s emotions. Give me that in my eyeballs please and thank you.

Although I feel like the scene of him asking to be killed as the second part of Lord John’s promise would work a little better if we did get a little more of his despair. Like his last shred of hope of finding Claire again was just dashed and that’s what’s prompting this. But I feel like there’s a little something missing that might have made it land better? Whatever, I still get the point I guess?

Also, this is the second time that someone has promised to kill Jamie and reneged on that promise. First BJR and now LJG...

“She’s truly gone.” JUST WAIT ANOTHER FEW EPISODES, BUDDY! YOU CAN DO IT! IT’LL BE OK!

Thanks, Lord John, for the rando doctor because it would really suck if Murtagh was saved just to die in prison! (Guys I am seriously beyond fucking pumped that Murtagh got saved. THINK OF HIM MEETING BREE! THINK OF HIM GETTING REUNITED WITH CLAIRE! THINK OF ALL THE AWESOMENESS THAT COMES FROM MURTAGH STILL BEING AROUND! I LOVE SHOW!MURTAGH SO MUCH!)

I like that much like Jamie hasn’t been able to say Claire’s name up until this point, Lord John doesn’t say Hector’s.

“Some people you grieve over forever.” I’m hoping I like show!LJG better than book!LJG, but I do like that he can probably appreciate what Jamie is feeling better than most people.

“I think perhaps the greatest burden lies in caring for those we cannot help. Not in having no one for whom to care. That is emptiness. But no great burden.” No comment on this one, just glad that was included because I like it a lot.

Gah but with that whole exchange. Jamie knows that Lord John might be able to understand the depth of his loss and says Claire’s name for the first time and I have feelings.

I wish the moment wasn’t broken up by a flashback, but I do like the back and forth with Jamie telling Lord John that the woman was his wife.

But ugh, Lord John. Nope. Don’t do that. Don’t touch him like that. I know you just bonded but not like to the point where you’d think this was ok. And even if you were feeling things, you definitely wouldn’t do this. Like not just because you’re used to hiding that part of yourself, but because you’re an honorable soldier and the power dynamic here is not ok. You’re not equals and as much as you guys just got real with each other, I don’t think you’d forget that.

And I 100% think that Jamie’s reaction here is strictly PTSD from his rape. Book!Jamie definitely had some homophobic tendencies, but in this scene I really think it’s just his trauma coming back to him. Like his face. Omfg there is zero doubt that he will kill Lord John right there, consequences be damned, if LJG doesn’t move his hand.

I really hope they tone down Lord John’s constantly reminding everyone that he’s in love with Jamie. It’s why I can’t really be on board with him in the books. But if they make some small changes, I can definitely be on board with him in the show.

I like that Murtagh was revealed to be alive now rather than waiting until like the end of the season once he’d been transported. (Because we all thought that if he got to live, he’d end up transported, right? I feel like that was a thing most people were guessing.) Like now we don’t need to have to care about prison randos and we [hopefully] get to see Jamie finding out he’s alive when Jamie tells Claire he’s alive, and then another reunion when [I’m guessing] they find him again in the colonies.

Lord John apologizing for touching Jamie in the prison makes me really hopeful that I’m going to like him in the show. Like I *love* that they had him apologize. They’ve done such a good job adapting the secondary characters that I think it’s not too much to hope that I’ll end up liking him more than book!LJG. But yeah, great change, show. Well done.

Lord John giving Jamie the best life he can because he wants to discharge the debt for his own name, and not because he’s like in love with Jamie or whatever, makes me happy.

(For real, can they just be friends without the gay guy in love with his straight BFF trope? And just let them have a friendship based on mutual respect and shit? Please?)

Boston

Not a fan of the dog as the title card. Like I get that it’s a reference to the book where Bree had a dog, but the dog is in like half a shot in the show so it’s just random to use that instead of something that’s actually related to what they’re exploring in the episode? I mean, who cares, it’s a title card. But it’s still an odd choice.

Oh look! Frank’s in the kitchen! The woman’s place! *eye roll* Except nope it’s not because he’s a nice guy and is cooking breakfast to be helpful. No. Of course not. Because this is Frank and Frank is an asshole. His breakfasts obviously have an ulterior motive. Like seriously, Frank. Bree’s growing up in the U.S. She’s going to like fucking Eggos. Eggos are fucking great. Just ask Eleven. But no. Claire likes America and wanted to become a citizen as something for herself and now Bree’s an American so clearly that needs to be remedied. Let the girl eat the damn frozen waffles, Frank, and stop trying to force *everyone* to be the version of themselves that *you* want them to be.

Look at Claire being all pleasant and conversational. Look at Claire being friendly and making casual, platonic plans. Look at Claire knowing that they’ve decided to live separate lives but still being civil and personable and friendly because they live together. And now look at Frank being a steaming pile of trash. She’s not asking you to go on some romantic date or to pretend like you’re in a regular marriage, you rancid trash fire. She’s literally seeing if you want to go to the movies. And you need to go and make it uncomfortable because clearly seeing a movie twice is just absurd and casually being like thanks for the offer, but I think I have to pass on this one would be the nice thing to do, but you can’t help making Claire feel like shit at every possible opportunity. Like seriously, making Claire feel like she did something wrong there, like somehow with this innocuous invitation she’s breaching the agreement you have, is just a dick move. You’re a terrible person, Frank.

“Nothing a cold martini won’t cure.” I want to be friends with Joe. Joe is great. I love Joe. I wish we had more with Claire and Joe because dammit, Claire needs someone in her life who isn’t trying to make her feel like shit every time they interact.

Oh hey! It’s Frank’s girlfriend! Time to go on a ramble. I’m glad that they had Claire be like yeah, it’s cool to live separate lives. Because Claire knows she’s never going to be what Frank wants her to be. And Frank makes damn sure that she can never forget that. Because Frank is an asshole. Like Claire should have left, promise to Jamie or no promise. It’s stupid and really not believable to me that she stuck around. Your mileage may vary. But she stayed and says it’s cool for Frank to go and lead his life. There’s a line in Drums where Claire is thinking of why she never called Frank out on his affairs: “I could not; I had no right.” She knows that she can’t be what he wants her to be. She knows she’s emotionally unfaithful. The affairs in the book hurt her, she’s only human, but she believes that she really can’t call him out. So I like that here, instead of it being like they’re actually still pretending to be in a functioning marriage, she gives Frank that freedom. Because Claire is imperfect, but still a good person.

And then there’s Frank. And Frank is a vindictive jackass. There’s living your own life and having a girlfriend and whatever, and then there’s inviting your girlfriend to your house on the day of your wife’s graduation party. And then when she shows up, *inviting her in* while your wife wrangles all the guests and has everyone leave. Because Claire went to med school and became a surgeon so of course even that has to be about Frank and how much of a piece of shit he is. Claire can’t possibly have one moment to celebrate her achievements. Nope. That’d be too much to ask. Gotta throw some Frank bullshit in.

“You invited her here. Where our daughter lives.” Claire’s first thought isn’t of how Frank fucked up her day here. Which she’d be totally entitled to do. No, Claire’s first thought is about Bree. Because her priority is to make sure Bree has a loving environment. Even if it means staying in an absolutely shitty situation. (You seriously should have left, Claire...) She does it for Bree. And Frank fucking brought his girlfriend over and threatened the illusion for Bree. Honestly, Claire’s the one here who looks like a good fucking parent. You’re a rancid glob of old cheese that’s stinking up the fridge, Frank.

“You were taking the car, she was just picking me up.” Right, Frank. Sure. You want brownie points for being discreet while also inviting your girlfriend to pick you up from your house where a graduation party is being held. I don’t care if you thought the dinner reservation was at a different time. If you’re actually looking to be discreet, you don’t have your girlfriend come to your damn house.

“You really dislike me that much?” Yes, Claire. He fucking resents you. He’s a shit sandwich. He resents you for not being what he wants you to be even though you’ve been honest about where you were about things from the start, and instead of leaving he sticks around and makes you feel terrible about yourself because he’s a petty, selfish, pathetic excuse of a man.

“Do you honest think that anyone at Harvard believes that we’re happily married?” No no no. Noooope. No, Frank. You don’t get to pull some whataboutism bullshit here. It’s not Claire’s fucking job to convince your Harvard people that you’re happily married. That’s not part of the fucking conditions. She said she wouldn’t talk about the past and that you could raise Bree to think you were her father. She’s doing that. Beyond that she owes you jack shit. Like you’re making it seem like she actually went to your work shit over the last few years, which would be doing you a fucking favor she didn’t have to. Because you’re living separate lives now, remember? It was Claire’s idea. That goes both ways. You get your girlfriend and she doesn’t have to pretend like she’s in love with you. And jfc the fact that you don’t see a difference between not “acting happy enough” at a work thing and FUCKING BRINGING YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO YOUR WIFE’S GRADUATION PARTY makes me want to punch you more than I already do. You really are the world’s biggest douchenozzle, Frank. I can’t wait for you to die. *checks time left in episode*

Having Claire call whatever her name is a harlot is not a good look for Claire. But like I said before and like what’s in the books, Claire’s human and Frank hurt her by bringing the girlfriend around. I can understand why she’d hit back like this. And it parallels Frank reducing what she had with Jamie to just fucking. Except what Frank and this lady have is def not the same as what Jamie and Claire have, because I honestly think Frank is incapable of loving and accepting a woman as his equal.

“Green ain’t your color, Claire.” Yeah, but like deep down she’s not jealous? Like on the surface, maybe, she’s human, but she doesn’t want you? She’s pissed that you were a complete twatwaffle and is hitting back. Because she’s fucking human and we all do shit like this when we’re pissed. You’re still the bad guy here, asshole.

“You wanted to hurt me.” “Maybe I did.” Yeah, no shit you did, Frank. That’s the only fucking reason you’re still around. To fucking hurt Claire. Because you’re so fucking selfish and petty that once you finally wrapped your fucking head around the fact that she’s never going to love you the way you want her to, you fucking stuck around to make her life miserable. You are the worst kind of cruel.

“Maybe I wanted to give you a taste of your own medicine.” Ok but you knew what you were getting into, Fred. Claire has been honest from the start. And she’s clearly been trying to make things as ok for you as she can. (Seriously, Claire, you should have fucking left.) She’s literally living up to her end of your deal while letting you do whatever the fuck you like with whoever the fuck you like. It’s your own damn fault you decided to stay. You lose all right to be this shitty. You can leave and you should leave but it’s your own selfish pettiness that makes you stay just so you can make this woman’s life miserable.

And the loathing in his voice when he says “Dr. Randall.” Like it *kills* him that despite his best efforts to destroy this woman, she managed to achieve her own damn goals. How anyone can think this fuckwad is a good guy is beyond me. (Like you do you, keep thinking whatever you want to think. Each to their own. Yada yada yada. But I will *never* understand it.)

“Have you fucked her in our bedroom?” I honestly don’t think Claire’s upset here about if the fucking actually happened, I think she’s just realizing just how vindictive Frank is that this is something he’d probably do just to spite her.

“File for divorce. You’d have your freedom.” “Yes, I would.” Like yeah, Claire should have left, but she didn’t. Because she promised Jamie and then because she’s a good person who didn’t want to take Bree away from Frank. But I love that she’s turning the tables on Frank now. And being like yeah, you know what. You can leave too. It’s clearly the best move. But Frank’s like nope. And I don’t believe for a second that it’s because he thinks Claire will keep Bree from him. Claire wouldn’t do that. She knows that Bree loves Frank, and Claire isn’t a piece of shit. She’s flawed, but she’s not a terrible person in the way that Frank is a terrible person. Claire would never take Bree from Frank and Frank knows it. He’s literally only staying so he can keep having his cake and eating it too. He can have his girlfriend and still torment Claire at every available opportunity.

“Forgive me, Claire, if I don’t risk everything on your promises. You have not been very good at keeping them.” Uh, buddy? Slow your roll. Yes, she fell in love with another guy when her whole life was turned upside down. That hurt you. I get that. But shit happens and most people can move on without being this much of puddle of raw sewage. And since she’s been back, she’s been exceptional at keeping her fucking promises. She accepted your damn conditions and she has kept them to the letter. Even at the cost of her relationship with her and Jamie’s daughter. So you, sir, can go fuck yourself.

Frank contradicting Claire over Bree’s birthday wish is such a perfect little window into how much of a manipulative, terrible person he is. It’s not enough that he gets to raise Bree as his own like he demanded. No, not for good ol’ Franky boy. Nope. He needs to undermine Claire. He needs to be the good guy who might give Bree a car when Claire says no. He needs to subtly (and probably consistently) make himself seem like the one who truly cares about Bree. He needs to carefully do stuff like this the whole time Bree is growing up so she notices that Claire is a bit distant. That’s not being a good parent. That’s being a terrible parent. Frank really needs to die already. *checks time left in episode*

Omg Claire’s face when she tells Bree she’s proud of her at graduation. Like Claire so obviously loves her daughter. And I honestly think that if Frank wasn’t undercutting her at every turn, she could have managed to have a better relationship with Bree. Like there was always going to be some distance, but I’m thinking Bree might not have noticed as much if Frank wasn’t like always making himself out to be the Good Guy parent?

“I’d like to take Brianna to England. I want a divorce, Claire.” You really are the most selfish prick, Frank. Like Bree’s going to go off to college regardless so this is Frank’s last chance to use her as a weapon to hurt Claire.

And jfc, “We’ll get married as soon as I’m free. I’m finished with this, Claire.” Seriously, Frank. You could have left years ago. You *should* have left years ago. You don’t get to be fucking butthurt here. Claire didn’t fuck with you. *You* refused to accept reality. She tried her fucking best for all these years. Now that you’re *finally* accepting how things are, you don’t get any fucking sympathy. You don’t get to play the fucking victim. You have spent fucking decades making Claire’s life as miserable as possible. You are not a good person. You are fucking scum.

Claire realizing that he’s only stuck around to fuck with her is kind of heartbreaking. Like she had things so much worse because she never was given the space to grieve, and just kept everything bottled up and it was all for a guy who just wanted to hurt her.

“Be reasonable, Claire.” HOW CAN ANYONE POSSIBLY FUCKING THINK THIS GUY IS ANYTHING BUT A FLAMING SACK OF SHIT?! BE REASONABLE?! SHE’S BEEN FUCKING REASONABLE FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS. SHE’S DONE EVERYTHING YOU’VE FUCKING ASKED AT THE EXPENSE OF WHAT *SHE* NEEDED. SHE COULDN’T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED SO SHE GAVE YOU WHAT SHE COULD. AND YOU WERE NOTHING BUT TERRIBLE TO HER IN RETURN.

Yeah, they took out him being racist af, but show!Frank is just as fucking terrible as book!Frank. Can you please just fucking die already. *checks time left in episode*

“I would like to live the rest of my life with a wife who truly loves me.” EXCEPT THAT CLEARLY YOU’D RATHER TORMENT CLAIRE THAN ACTUALLY DO THAT YOU PATHETIC, PETTY WASTE OF OXYGEN. YOU COULD HAVE MARRIED YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND YEARS AGO. YOU KNEW YOU COULD STILL BE IN BREE’S LIFE. BUT YOU CHOSE NOT TO BECAUSE YOU’RE SO FUCKING SHITTY YOU WOULD RATHER STICK AROUND JUST TO HURT CLAIRE. YOU DO NOT DESERVE A HAPPY ENDING, FRANK. YOU DESERVE A MORE VIOLENT DEATH THAN YOU GOT.

“You couldn’t look at Brianna without seeing him. Could you? Without that constant reminder.” NO SHIT, FRANK. BUT NO, YOU COULD NEVER SEE HOW MUCH CLAIRE WAS HURTING. OR HOW MUCH YOUR FUCKING CONDITIONS WERE RUINING THE RELATIONSHIP SHE COULD HAVE HAD WITH HER DAUGHTER. BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE WAS FUCKING REMINDED OF JAMIE. SO OF COURSE IT HURT HER TO NOT BE ABLE TO SHARE JAMIE WITH BREE. AND OF COURSE SHE FUCKING HAD TO WATCH HERSELF AROUND BREE CONSTANTLY SO THAT SHE DIDN’T SLIP UP. EVEN WITHOUT YOUR UNDERCUTTING HER AS A PARENT, IT WAS ALREADY YOUR FAULT THAT SHE WASN’T AS CLOSE TO BREE AS SHE COULD HAVE BEEN.

CLAIRE YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING JUST LEFT. I KNOW YOU PROMISED BUT FFS JAMIE WOULDN’T HAVE WANTED YOUR DAUGHTER TO LOSE YOU AS WELL AS HIM. UGH I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS. LIKE IT’S SO WELL ACTED BUT I STILL WANT TO THROW SOMETHING.

“Might you have forgotten him, with time?” “That amount of time doesn’t exist.” Yup. Boom. And yet she still fucking tried, Frank. She still gave it everything she fucking had. She didn’t even get to grieve. She fucking bottled everything up and fucking put on a brave face and fucking gave it her all. And you were too selfish and petty to fucking see or appreciate just how hard she was fucking trying. You are literally the worst.

I’m usually ok with changing stuff from being verbatim from the books (with a few exceptions...), but in the scene with Claire and Frank’s body, I kind of miss the finality of the “once” at the end of the line? “I did love you. Once.” But yeah, he was her first love. And that does mean something. But not enough of something for me to not be annoyed that 2/3 of her side of the story thus far has been about him.

I think I find this side of things so annoying and rage-inducing because none of it feels like it earned the right to happen. The choice, to me, for Claire was never Jamie vs. Frank. It was Jamie vs. the entire 20th century. That was the hard choice. The Jamie vs. Frank choice was easy. Frank wasn’t right for her before she left. She chose not to go back to him. And having her stay in a loveless marriage with a manipulative asshole for 20 years is far less interesting to me than watching her try to get along by herself with Bree might have been. But “she made a promise to Jamie” yada yada, and we’re stuck with Frank. Who stopped being relevant ages ago. I know, “jfc, get over it, this is how it is, stfu,” so consider standard disclaimers about this being just my opinion and other’s being able to have theirs and yada yada applied. I hope assume most people who find this take the most annoying have already unfollowed/blocked/blacklisted me. But holy shit I’m glad this asshole is finally dead, and I really hope the Claire and Bree stuff in the next couple episodes is amazing because that’s what I’m here for. End rant.

#*#drunj!der yells about outlander #outlander starz #outlander 3x03

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