#i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me
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everything you see ab being the oldest daughter is true btw why am i the family therapist AND punching bag smh
long ass depressing rant in the tags srry i got a wee bit emotional
#my dad has something going on where there's a ringing in his ear my mom has tendonitis and neck pain now#and i feel for both of them i'm goin to cvs to get the meds giving my mom massages every night talking to my dad to distract him#they're both going to the correct doctors#but just throwing it out there i have had tendonitis and chronic upper back pain for 5-6 years and no one gave a shit most i've gotten is#jokes that i'm faking it#i'm in physical therapy for my back NOW but that's bc i finally crawled out of the depression long enough to do it myself#which is fine whatever i'm 22 i should be the one making my own appointments and it'd be weird if i wasn't#but when i was 16 or 17???#being hospitalized for STRESS HEADACHES at 14 too???#who gets hospitalized for that shit and how were my parents not concerned that i at the age of 14 was#so stressed out that my head was pounding all the time#and bc i'm the third parent who has to be the only emotional safe space#i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me#i have to listen to everyone and their momma's problems#i'm in law school!!! i do not need this i'm anxious all the time!!!#and if i'm not anxious i'm depressed!!!#my therapist point blank tells me shit like 'you're incredibly lonely' or 'you have way too much on your shoulders' and it makes me CRY#the most basic fucking observations that i KNOW but hearing someone else acknowledge it and not berate me fucking sends me into TEARS#i get messages from online friends here like 'hey i saw your post you don't deserve that' i physically cannot keep my eyes dry!!#every time i have any interaction ever i am at least a little uncomfortable bc i am always trying so hard to make sure i come off as kind#and not awkward or mean#i feel like everyone around me was given some kind of how to manual on life that i wasn't#and i KNOW this is not unique tons and tons of people feel like this#i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware#but then every couple of days my mom gets the brilliant idea to tell me i'm rude or lazy or whatever and i lose my shit#i just wanna sleep and write fanfics in the nicest way possible i hate everyone#i will try my best to not be mean to anyone bc no one deserves it but i am angry and i am constantly feeling the hurt of my inner child#my MOTHER threw a hardcover book at my HEAD when i was ten bc i had been reading and hid the book under the pillow#what the actual fuck????#my dad's response to any and everything is to deal with it
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I just told my mom I'm autistic/adhd and it was so awkward 😭🙈😫 I already knew she wouldn't be receptive in the way I deep down wish she would be, but she at least didn't say anything rude to my face about it like I was expecting her to so...I guess that's a win? All of this bc I want some noise canceling headphones for my birthday bc I'm suffering and I really think they will help me. I wish I had more loving and accepting parents who didn't just brush off everything I say, act like I'm dumb for being vulnerable enough to bring it up, and then go on to use said thing against me. I knew this when I said it, but I weighed the pros and cons and I would rather risk them using this as ammo against me, in which they might say some hurtful stuff to me sometimes (nothing new), than to continue on suppressing and masking so much in my own home. It is literally painful and it makes everything worse for me. It's not like I'll ever be able to feel safe enough to fully unmask around them, but I also have been unmasking in ways that I can't control and to have to work 3x's as hard to build that mask up and hide who I am in moments when I'm around them (which is quite frequent since I live with them) is way more exhausting and painful than anything else. I'm tired of it. I'm literally burnt out partially bc of that. So, fuck it! They're gonna be abusive assholes no matter what, they already don't like me bc I'm not "normal", why not add another reason to their list of "Why We Hate Kalista", hm? Nothing I haven't heard/experienced before! At least I can wear my headphones and stim and talk to my sister about our neurodivergence in the living area without worrying about them finding out I'm autistic. What a silly waste of time. I'm glad I ripped the bandaid off. Imagine if I continued with that shit for the rest of my life with them? Nah, I'll choose me over you any day. I'm not here to make you comfortable and give in to the fear of your expressed disdain against me. And????🤨 what the fuck is new?! I've accepted that you'll never love me -you aren't capable of it, I get it. It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you and I finally understand that now. What you say/do may still hurt me, but it will never rip me to pieces like it used to. I love myself. Unconditionally. That's all that fucking matters.
So good job me for being brave and authentic and vulnerable, no matter how scary or painful it gets. My days of high masking, self-hatred, and suppressing who I truly am are over. I'm looking forward to finding new ways to grow and express myself more authentically -and to getting better at tuning the assholes out! *with my new noise canceling headphones!!!*🥰🤭
#vent post#I really needed to get this out of my system bc omg that was a lot for me#I'm really excited for my new headphones tho!#I hope they're a good fit for me#(I might also get a shiggy figurine to add to my mha collection ❤️)#actually austistic#autism#adhd#audhd
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xo kitty : episode 6
the straight out of wattapad scene about has begun but at least it going viral on twitter prepared me for it
also not that bad! they look cute
a man cooks for you once and you have a sex dream about him
but to be fair he was there for her dinner and dae and her weren't even talking lol
at least she sent him a note and a necklace (which he doesn't know about bc damn you Yuri)
is Alex steaming his face in the morning 💀
my girl kitty jumping on a man when she hasn't kissed is so real
the dialogue delivery isn't the worst but 'you're too bloody hot' made me bust out laughing 😭
also do American people actually say bloody as a swear word ever? I've only heard it here in India and the UK
how do actors do this
IT WAS HIS DREAM !??? i take everything back. slay kitty 😭😭😭
she helped him as he was having a lactose intolerance incident and got him another date and now he wants to kiss her💀
Alex bringing kitty back to earth. #real
Study a bit sister, you're failing your Korean Snape's classes 😭
How is any of this for your mom?
Q keeping it real too.
Korean actually sounds so calming.
But i still don't know why Yuri hid the necklace. 😭 Like do you want to be Dae's bestie too? You'll have to fight Minho for that. And if you like him... go ahead i guess but still terrible.
Minho threw a rager to sit on a chair and have drinks with his friend. He's just like me fr
This Kitty scene reminds me of the Nadia scene in elite.
straightened her hair, got in a black dress and is ready to kiss somebody !!! exactly Kitty!!!
Minho is so unserious 😭 adorable
Dae has frozen. Dae exe has stopped working
The way Dae doesn't even know. His sad face is so adorable that I actually feel bad 💀 you're the one who dumped her !
Kitty is the hottest girl now?! slay
everybody's got a flask. babe this guy looks kinda sus though. not my inner mom coming out
disgusting ! Yuri getting dragged by this man. I know Kitty will shut him up but i hope Yuri hears it before taking her fuck Kitty agenda further.
exactly sister! get him
damn Kitty being able to match everyone but herself 😭
either my ears are gone or the sound mixing in this show is lazy because why are Yuri and Dae's voices standing out in silence at a party ??
slay Dae
Dae likes Yuri now 😭😭😭 go to hell
can't even ship you with Kitty now
Okay as a friend
Kitty going through it again 😭😭😭 why is she having the toughest time ???
Peter actually was kinda always there for Lara Jean. my girl has just been toughing it out here 😭
Now she's drunk calling Alex
She texted Professor Lee. Please drown me. Right now. And the creepy guy hitting on her is here.
Oh Professor Lee has read the text, Alex is going to rightfully kill her.
Yuri coming in clutch for Kitty
Dae putting 2 and 2 together but I'm worried that with the Professor Lee text everyone and their mama is about to get in trouble.
Save Kitty!!!
Prof Lee just rude as hell lmao, i hope he got humbled by the fact that no one heard him. Booooo!!!
Everybody wants to rule the world and these 2 people just forget they're here to bust there students. literally what was up with this debate group. who are Alex' parents ? because Yuri's mom is giving Lee serious love eyes
Kitty adoring Yuri, slay
Miscommunication afoot bad 😭😭😭 stop it !!! Kitty thinks Dae loves Yuri, Dae whispering in Kitty's ears and Minho getting idk silent 🧐
he's making out with the Miller girl?! 😭
Dae will actually never ever deserve her to be honest. You haven't told her anything, broken up with her and she's confused and drunk now and you've left her alone again???? Oh wait he's confronting Yuri... on stage 💀
Is this a dream? Who's is it? Or is it real? we will never know till the next episode 🤩
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Ep2: little apple mvp
fuck, but these are getting long. putting under a readmore
these early wandering scenes are really nice. lighthearted and peaceful, and probably quite enjoyable for a wwx whose last memories were of grief and pain and exhaustion and stress and persecution
reminds me - wwx was crying last episode when jc came to kill him. he might have smiled a bit, but he seemed so resigned to the fact that jc hated him but when jc told him to go and die he started crying. it was so fucking sad
the most brilliant mind of his generation on coaxing a donkey to walk...
you know this was 😬 but wwx has tremendous bad luck here because how was he supposed to know? saying something slightly rude is now punishable by death because of the context. but wwx made an honest mistake! also jl was being extremely arrogant and aggressive
jc crushing the paperman while lwj carried it so carefully on his palm...so deep
I don't agree with either wwx or lwj's methods here but jc being extremely aggressive and mean and critical of jl is really not helping his emotional development either. fuck, if a parental figure treated me like that I'd act out too
lwj coming just in time to keep jl from fucking stabbing wwx >>>>>>
the petty-off between jc and lwj is extremely funny here bc lwj refusing to deign to even open his mouth while jc fumes and throws as cruel insults as he can and I think wwx is finding it funny too? it seems like he's trying to hold back a smile here
this being wwx's memories of teenage jc 😭
THIS LINE. AFTER HE REMEMBERS HIS SISTER. SOBBING
little apple coming back to him after this very sad little scene had me a little misty-eyed...god but that donkey loves him so much in the end and he loves her so much...lsz was the first to show him kindness in this new life but she was the first to stick with him 🥺
I honest to god could not care less about this plot I think it's very boring but I do like jl's outfit with the little gold dots and the hair pieces
wwx is also kind of harsh to the kids lmao and then jingyi is like 'hgj is going to KILL us 😭' which is very funny given what we've seen of lwj so far (he's very calm and gives them support, info, and encouragement) esp compared to the anger, critiques and unhelpful demands of jc. like, I don't doubt he's disciplined juniors but we never seen anything harsh from him so what is jingyi even referring to? I don't count the handstands as cql canon btw I think it's absurd
comedy scenes of all time. to me. the anti-chemistry is palpable
it's so so funny to see Those jc fans rewrite this episode like 'jc was looking for wwx the entire time 🥺 they're brothers' when it's so starkly apparent that jc was clearly extremely angry the entire time, told jl to kill wwx before learning his identity, told jl repeatedly that all dc's like wwx should be killed and fed to the dogs, and then immediately tried to expel him from mxy's body (kill him again) after learning his identity. buddy I don't think he's at the point in his journey you think he is
he's also really rude and demanding of his disciples...I was wondering how he was with them bc I didn't remember and the answer is, not surprisingly, pretty harsh. well...at least he's involved?
the editing on this was SO funny. cut from wwx asking this to this statue, far in the distance, chasing after these tiny figures of cultivators. way to sap the drama out of a shot
he loves to do a spinny <3 even if they are in mortal danger he must do a spinny
REUNION SHOT!!!!! the tension building between them and FINALLY having them meet is just MWAH. and wwx grabbing lwj's arm afterwards is still one of my favorite little things bc wwx doesn't actually do that very often! it's nice to see him reach out to lwj almost on instinct when it's usually lwj reaching out and trying to connect with him instead. the romance in these first two episodes. ugh. delicious
whatever they did make wn look like this is was really effective
BE NICE TO HIM JC!! also even tho jiangs are the purple clan, they seem to wear blue a lot
lwj also doing a little spinny to open his weapon even though his newly resurrected beloved is in mortal AGAIN from the guy who killed him the first time = wwx doing a little spinny earlier even though his nephew and a bunch of kids were about to die. truly soulmates
I hate this shot SO much. the lens and the angle are so unflattering. you can see right up his nostrils in some of these shots
OHHH YOU"RE HURTING ME. LOOK AT THOSE SMILES
jyl scrunching up her nose here is one of my favorite tiny moments in this entire show. it's so fucking cute and I love her so much
Personal highlights: ep2
wwx grabbing lwj's wrist right after they reunite
jyl scrunching up her nose
wwx and lwj twin spinny maneuvers
little apple coming back and wwx being excited about it
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2023 wrap up!
i just woke up from an hour log nap because i've had this migraine since tuesday :D (not covid) but i needed to get this all out with a nice, one direction comfort playlist in the background. what a year i have lived.
january - went on my first work trip (flying) in my life to north dakota! the bad thing about the NE is that you CAN drive everywhere. i've driven all up and down the east coast just for work , and my customers are literally 20 minutes from my office so i can always drive there but january was the first week i had to fly
february - started going to the gym consistently for the first time since middle school with my best friend. this lasted all the way until july but i'm still in the habit :)
march - discovered the strange tales of the tang dynasty. refreshing bc i haven't watched an (ancient) mystery/thriller in such a long time. lu ling feng and i share a last name! I NEVER SHARE THE SAME NAME WITH ANY ONE IN A CDRAMA.
april - big fight with jeff. discussing our future and how much $$ we're gonna need if we're actually going to get a house. he thought i shouldn't be bitching because i have a "good job" which made a good salary. whoa buddy, i have to keep myself alive. this was a fight that last months especially because he's in florida right now with NO JOB and NOT finishing his degree. at least pick ONE and do it. Someone has to stress around here and it clearly ain't him. am i wasting my time? we've known each other for so long, we are comfortable with each other other, if we dated other people we'd both be crushed? but i don't think we have the same goals.
may - delia still in the office. she's afraid of calling customers to tell them about deliveries. she's afraid of talking to drivers. she was so hard to train because she WOULD not pick up the phone. and she ate all the snacks in the office. and she ordered so much so stuff for herself because it was free. 5 months in and she was still afraid to talk to people. maybe this isn't the job for you? she got transferred out of my office THANK GOD
june - tensions rising in the house again. $$. getting married. my mom is getting on my nerves because she thinks i'm getting behind in life because i'm 30 and not married. and she wants me to get married BY my birthday in October or in December or by January. i'm not ready, i'm not in the mindset. she needs money, she also needs an ego boost of saying "my kid is married". i'm tired of coming home and walking on eggshells, wondering when she'll come and bother me. i'm tired of her sharing stress on me. i'm tried of her asking me for money all the time because i can't save. she keeps asking when i'm gonna bring jeff over but i never have because i don't want associating the good thing in my life with the bad thing. without the restaurant, she's even more annoying.
july - my mom started asking for $ again. A bulk of my check every month. my career and finances are finally getting steady because i'm in a nice groove now and i can save. stop asking me for money! the shitty thing is i found out my sis was slowly moving stuff out (she found an apartment of her own in may , i also found a house.) but she was denying it smh rude. my mom stopped me from moving out but not lili because i'm soft. and because "i owed her an explanation about jeff" . i don't owe her shit and i don't want to tell her anything about my personal life.
i moved all my shit out on July 7th which was a Friday. I was in the middle of a move while mom called me and cheerfully asked about if we were going to RI over the weekend and i faked it. liz helped me move and got me stuff for the room. air purifier, clothing rack, a mixer, a clothing chest thingy. i'm so lucky to have her.
that whole day was was so exhausting and terrifying because i was trying to move all my shit out while she was at work. a few days before this sister and brother in law gave me a spare bed and desk for free. they also helped me rent a box truck to get all this over. forever grateful. but at the end of that friday night, i was so exhausting i was SHAKING. then i typed out a long text message to my mom and shut off the phone.
i was afraid to turn it out, i cried all night because what kind of daughter ditches her parents like that and lies? i was so miserable that first night and first week. i was on the phone with liz all night and she was about to come sleep over.
why doesn't my mom ever ask stan for money? god i'm tired.
哭完以后还是一条好汉。
august - my mom kept calling me but i kept ignoring her. i didn't read her text message reply but one message i read she said 你真的狗卑鄙. how dramatic do you have to be? you used me my whole life to work my entire life , denied me of many opportunities and i didn't have the balls to leave until my younger siblings left because i was still trying to be a good daughter. life goes on. went on vacation to Philly with Lili and Stan at the end of august. my roommates C and K are nice :) one is a teacher one works for the state. both nice and clean girls just trying to live out here. everyone is clean, respects each other's privacy and safe. K has a cat named Gnocchi who totally runs the house. i love him ;;
september - life is settling in to a nice groove. work. gym. home. 三点一线。C is taiwanese so we get along great - culturally + food ;; she asked me to go to the cat shelter bc she wants to adopt another cat. this was the right choice. i make enough $$ to rent an apartment like lili but still the bulk of one check. not that worth it. i'm so lucky i found this older house. we all have our own rooms and i got the garage spot. the house is also owned by the same landlord who owns the apartment complex behind us! lawn, snow all done by him! i made the right choice. to live with roommates and kind of experience that college life i never got to experience, except it's work and i go to work now instead of class. is it weird or nah. but it's a good feeling. i don't like to be lonely and jeff's not here and all my friends are doing their own things and we live every where.
october - birthday month! i'm 31 and i'm fucking old. life is good in terms i don't have to come back to stress or the pressure of getting married or giving up my pay check like i'm still in high school. started rewatching naruto yay. still learning how to be an account manager. drivers and alberto and james and joe piss me off . i'm still too soft.
somewhere between october and november , i visited pioneer again. i miss it so much. i miss making medicine.
november - made up with jeff. we're going to his friend chris's wedding in july , the same weekend as jeff's birthday. lili also gave me her gaming pc. been playing games :D jeff also recommended me some games to get. thanksgiving was chill. went to boston with chelsea. spent too much money and time was too short. yay.
december - all of a sudden, it's the last day of december.
K had an Xmas party two weeks ago. I invited Lila, Sara and Liz. We ended up watching 一念关山 in my room. Christine stayed in her room and didn't mingle. For both Xmas and New Year's Chelsea asked if I wanted to spend it with her family but on Xmas I spent it with sibs and right now, I've been sick since LAST Saturday. I'm so grateful to her because she knows i'm not with family.
started back our ksll group chat. i miss my friends.
All in all, this was a crazy year. but i think i'm happy.
2024 goals:
lose weight (specifically 40-50 pounds by July) it's gonna be rough ugh
amp up my resume. promotion? new job?
save money/be more responsible about money
have a healthier life style
travel more.
deuces.
here's to 2024 i guess.
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my tummy hurts and I refuse to be brave, if it hurts, I can complain
tw for my vent n shit also don't worry it sounds bad out of context it's not as severe as you think I'd add a read more but idk how to tumblr on mobile and don't respond or ask me about it I just need to get it out thanks
also unrelated note, I have realized the reason I don't like the words "I love you" is not bc of extreme romance repulsion bc I'm aro but years of trauma and manipulation to the point where compliments can make me nervous (especially about my looks or inspiring quotes people say like you are loved you are worth something) like don't tell me I'm so beautiful please stop it, I just hate it... it reminds me of THAT person.... (it wasn't in a se×ual abuse situation don't worry) I'm kinda ok ish with "you are beautiful" or ur pretty but the words "you are so beautiful" just make me want to rip off my skin
if someone compliments my dam skin one more fucken time..... I just can't b ew yahsgvsbs
and I hate whispering and people pulling me aside into a small space just tell me away from people in an open room ok? but I can't ask for people to not trigger/make me uncomfortable without saying I have trauma about weird shit. Like closets and bathrooms (again not as bad as it sounds, was not se×ual abuse)
AND DONT TOUCH ME ISTG ASK ME OR LET ME ASK YOU DONT TOUCH ME
also why do people act like there is always a trusted adult. 99 percent of adults in my life have to power to ruin it if they try or if I trusted them enough to let them in. I know people say reach out but they don't get it. I am not an adult, I have no power. all adults have way more power and that makes them too dangerous to let in. at this point it is probably like my life could be in danger if a stupid adult tries smth with my mom or dad. if I trust an adult with all of *gestures to trauma, gay and Trans ness, on going abuse, ME in general* .. that, and they try to do smth about it bc they think they know how abuse works, I might be kicked out or most likely a lot worse. Adults are like those captas where you prove you aren't a robot. every adult is a test to see if I can not set off any red flags that I'm not.. normal. it's so tiring that it's a relief if an adult doesn't care if I live or die.
also, thought I did a good socialization today, apparently it was shit :'( I tried so hard this time, I talked the least I could and didn't fidget in veiw of the new person or the other people. I talked a bit much at the end, I think that was it? I mean, I was talking about what she liked, and I let her finish her words and got through a convo with 2 other people. im the youngest there though so was I not suppose to talk? we were supposed to be meeting her tho and get to know her????? I'm so tired of being so broken l. I just really tried and my big sister is still disappointed in me. she should just leave for collage already, idk why she doesn't hate me yet...... I don't want her to, I just can't be the person she wants me to be. I'm just so tired I can't be anything but a complete shit hole and I hate it.
and I just gave up on my friend. I want to help her but I'm also fucked up but saying that triggers her so I just- and she's out of the hospital and I don't want to be rude but I just don't want to talk or be friends with her anymore, its too much but I can't tell her bc she already thinks that and I think that about my friends to and its too much god wtf are we doing we are kids we shouldnt want to kill ourselves are this age. But I want her to have friends and be happy but she only wants me as her friend and has no one else and she gave up and it's not healthy anymore but I can't just leave and I can't ask for help but I can't just be on call and talk her out of suicide every Thursday I live in an abusive house and I'm also always on call for my mom. I can't just pick her up and drag her along but idk what she's like now bc she might have blocked me so....
I should draft this but ik like no one looks through my posts so eff it
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ranpo 4 the ask game
favorite thing about them... i love how carefree he is, allow me to explain. Ranpo walks through life as if there's not a damn thing wrong and i respect that. the only times we ever see him concerned is when he knows he's fucked. any other time he's just chilling with his snacks and acting like he doesn't have responsibilities. i find comfort in his character, partially for this reason, therefore: that's my favorite thing about him
least favorite thing about them... i can't seem to think of anything i don't like about him. ig maybe the fact that he tends to be really blunt and sometimes it comes off as rude. while i do find that hilarious, i think i'd hate him for it irl haha
favorite line... literally every word that comes out of this man's mouth is my favorite. but i'd say my favorite bit is: "are you a complete moron? sorry, rhetorical questions are rude. you are a moron." LMFAO
brOTP... Ranpo & Yosano 100%. their few moments together are my favorite and i absolutely love their relationship. it's got such strong brother/sister vibes and i love that for them (found family moment, yktv)
OTP... Ranpo & Poe, which should be no surprise. i know people ship him with Chuuya also, which i'm not completely against, but Ranpoe remains superior
nOTP... i'd like to hope people don't ship him with Fukuzawa bc like.. that's so weird to me. it's not an age thing, it's just like, Fukuzawa practically adopted Ranpo just without taking legal action to make them related y'know? idk it's icky to me, they have too much of a familial bond in my eyes
random hc... i've got so many, omg. i've talked about it before, but i hc him to have good dental hygiene despite all the snacks he eats. i also think him and Kenji spend a lot of time together. Ranpo likes to play games to pass the time and he always gets Kenji involved, who willingly entertains him
unpopular opinion... Ranpo's behavior is constantly seen as arrogance and nothing else, but that's not his only personality trait. Ranpo used to be humble, he grew up to essentially be the total opposite of what he became. the only reason he acts the way he does is bc Fukuzawa etched into his brain that he's gifted and should be proud of it. and imo, he has every right to be cocky. he's so much more than just his haughtiness and i think people tend to overlook that
song association... looking at me by sabrina carpenter. the ENERGY this song has (extremely confident/i'm better than you and you love it), is everything Ranpo radiates imo
fav picture... i can't pic just one bc i love every picture of him, but these make me feel a certain way
[ send me a bsd/jjk character! ]
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Crack matchups!!!
My favorite vine of all time is 'I'm in a tank and you're not".
I love to cook and genuinely can't understand how my friend set her boxed man n cheese on fire. Actual flames.
My brother once woke me up by saying "I started a fire", which of course made me get the hell up and rush to the kitchen. Only to find no fire but a bunch of burnt and melted Styrofoam on the burner. He had set a Styrofoam bowl there and decided to not mention the fact he put the fire out before waking me.
My sister's friend left her cat with us and it stayed in my room, but she only visited the poor thing twice in the 3 years she's been here. This cat is now attached to me as on she will scream if she's not in my room when I'm also in my room, so her previous owner will have to pry her out my cold dead arms.
I have really bad medical anxiety and a distrust of doctors. That being said I do get all of my vaccines, even if I end up crying while getting them.
My childhood blanket was kept in a cabinet that was thrown away, my parents did not tell me they were tossing the cabinet and so I lost the blanket. I will always be salty about it.
I used to chew on polypocket clothes, not eat them, just chew.
I had a bellasara account that I loved to bits and was sad to find out recently that the whole website is changing and that I've probably lost my horse forever. Rip Spices and Snowball.
I never know what to ask for when it comes to gifts, it's not that o hate gifts, I just don't want anything really bad or can't think of anything I want. Usually I just get cooking related stuff, which is good.
I give off a lot of body heat, like a lot, I have to wear a tank top and shorts or I will sweat up a storm and be super uncomfortable, even in the winter. And it can get into the negatives where I live.
I was the weird quiet kid who sat alo e at recess becuase I didn't know how to talk to people. My teacher once saw me sitting at the wall and told me "you don't have to sit there, you're not in trouble" and I looked her dead in the eyes and said "I know". She walked away but looking back I think a lot of teachers were concerned.
I get bronchitis at least once every year and it's kinda messed up my lungs, but hey, not I'm not dead!
I hate riding bikes becuase I have a phobia of falling and so the wobbly feeling makes me tear up.
So I had two come to mind for you...
MAMMON and BELPHIE
You balance Mammon's inability and Belphie's lack of motivation to cook with your own passion. Unfortunately the "I started a fire" incident is one that will run parallel with these brothers too, so a couple rude awakenings are in your future but at least Belphie has the power to help you fall back asleep. When it comes to doctors, both these softies will snuggle with you and make sure the doctor/nurse treats you right should you ever have to go to the doctors office. (However they'll likely make Solomon make sure you dont have to). Belphie knows the importance of having a comfort item, so if you want another blanket, he and Mammon will work on it together. When it comes to gifts, Mammon knows what you want before you know what you want.
The only other downside here is that you're always gonna be warm.
Always.
Because these two cling to you like wet socks, and jt sucks bc Mammon runs hot and Belphie always has blankets and they BOTH worked to make a nest to cuddle you in so...grab a bucket of ice first ig dbbsbsjsj
Is it just bikes?? Do motorbikes count? Because Mammon really wants to take you for a spin, but Totally Not Because You Can Hug Him The Whole Time.
When you get sick they run and blame Solomon and make him fix it they're very doting-moreso Mammon than Belphie. Belphie wants to snuggle you to health. Mammon feeds you not-as-spicy-as-his ramen. Djsbzjzj
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I'm really confused cus ppl are attacking tiff for taking control of her life, saying she doesn't need to be rescued. I thought that's a good thing? But people are saying it's fake feminism because she was so mean to lola before. But isn't that the whole point of skam? People have this "shame" in their life that they grow from? Like how everyone wanted lola to be forgiven for stuff she did to other people in s6, (eliott, lucas, daphne, etc ,) because she had her own struggles but had grown /was growing from it? But with tiff we're not supposed to support her? It's hilarious how people have decided there's a right and a wrong way to react to clips and it you don't fit the "right" reaction box then you're some kind of heathen 😔
well if we're talking real life ofc something like that is a good thing, finding ur strength after going through trauma is always good n a common "feminist" trope is that a girl recognizes that she needs no man or whatever. i haven't been that active on here recently so i haven't seen the reactions to it but this season has not been a feminist one in the least no matter how many catchphrases they throw in there
above all this season is abt a cis, white, straight and rich girl so. failed step one. ppl need to understand that if feminism isn't intersectional it's worthless n this doesn't just mean they should've picked someone else for the role (which they should've, but there's more to it) u can't make a feminist season abt a white girl if ur gonna villanize all ur woc especially the black women. u can't make a feminist season abt a cishet, rich girl if ur gonna make the bisexual poor girl ignore the fact that this is the person who played w her trauma just a year before. u can't make a feminist season abt a rich girl if the previous season she was overworking her privilege to show how classist she was (which the fans love to forget bc they don't see poor ppl as oppressed lol) and again u can't make a feminist season abt a white girl if all her Cool Feminist Moments only happen when she's talking to a black man such as her snarky "that wasn't an invitation" when aurélien tried to kiss her or her physically attacking him bc he? cares abt their daughter? being consider a Powerful Mom Thing
if all this didn't exist sure it would be considered feminist for her to not need saving, but when we put it in the context of literally everything else we can see that this is yet another poor attempt at taking a cliché feminist phrase that u could see written by a male avengers movie director for woke points. ppl need to understand that tiff has huge amounts of privilege over both aurélien (being white) n max (being cis) so her being a woman doesn't even automatically place her social status "beneath" these men. even just outside of fandom shit ppl should understand that supporting certain women will inherently be anti feminist, just bc ur cheering on a woman doesn't make u feminist.
then second abt the shame thing & lola. the "shame" in all skam seasons has always been smth "innate" due to the lack of a better world. smth that the society shames u for. the isak seasons r abt being gay bc society makes ppl ashamed of gayness, but u don't think being gay is a "shame" do u? neither is being a muslim, but the sana seasons r abt that bc again the "shame" is smth society perpetuates. the fact that tiff was "mean to lola" (she was a classist, she told her to kill herself, she made her trauma n mental illness into her own little joke) is not her "shame" bc that was her choice....that's smth she chose to do she isn't misunderstood or oppressed bc she hates poor ppl lmao. if they made made a season abt the nico character would u say his shame is sexual harassment? i doubt it. bc that's not smth he's involuntarily shamed for that's an action he chose to take.
also tiff n lola's "forgiveness" or lack thereof isn't comparable. first of all i'm not sure why u mentioned lucas? she never rly did anything to him but he on the other hand has a shitload to apologize for to her. abt eliott & daphné i also don't quite understand bc as for daphné they had a mutually toxic sibling dynamic, both failing at communication n treating each other badly but like.. even in that situation daphné was literally stalking her sister so again not sure what blame lola has on her here. n for eliott i also don't get what she should've apologized for like if u mean the club clips then u r in the wrong place bc lola didn't even do anything bad other than be rude which every other character is also guilty of smfjlskd
like see the difference? tiff & lola's conflict wasn't mutual, tiff chose to harass n stalk her based on nothing at all, she was only able to do that bc of the privilege n power she (a white cishet rich girl) has over lola (a bisexual mentally ill poor girl). i don't see how those two r in any way comparable.
so i guess that's my explanation for it. as for ur last point i do agree i don't know why it's anyone else's problem how others react to clips but even then i do think we need to understand that skam remakes take pride in their "diversity" n "representation" so sometimes certain reactions actually r objectively wrong. like saying "i liked this clip" or "i didn't like this clip" is all cool n no one should get hate for that but if ppl watch a clip where certain stereotypes r used unironically n their decision is to actually enforce the harmful message n not waste any of their three braincells for critical thinking bc It'S jUsT FiCtiOn then u r not immune to me thinking ur a brainless idiot
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Hello, before I write anything about myself I just wanted to say that your writing is beautiful and has sometimes caused me to cry. Keep doing what you are doing!! 💕💓You are amazing! 💓💕
ANYWAYS, I would like my ship to be from the Star Wars universe or the Marvel. I don't really care what gender. I have a really odd personality (or at least thats only way to describe it). I'm really introverted around new people, but when you catch me with my friends it's like I'm a totally different person. I like to talk and I'm not afraid to do stupid shit. I mean you only get one life so why not. I may come off a rude or annoying to new people. I will beat someone up is they are discriminating against anyone. I'm a huge nerd for space. (I'm sure you know who I am now 😂) I try to be a nice person but you don't want to cross my ways. I have no impulse control somedays. I cry A LOT but blame it on the fact that I'm a cancer and I am in fact very fitting of the cancer description. That's all for now.
Before I answer, I just want to say that 1- my writing making you cry isn't much of an achievement lmao, and 2- you're only being nice bc anon is on (anyone other than @space-nerd2005 reading this, she's my sister, I get to be mean lmao jk), and 3- I don't believe you bc you are my sister
Anyway! As you already know:
For Star Wars I ship you with Fives...
I literally knew you two would get along as soon as I watched Clone Wars for the first time. The absolute antics the two of you would get up to are ridiculous. Between the two of you Rex is going to either go completely insane or his hair is going to turn prematurely white, even for a clone. Fives and you would constantly be egging each other on to do stupid shit. I also know for a fact that if someone even mumbled something discriminatory about the clones in your presence you'd beat the absolute shit out of them and would probably have to be pulled away from them before you killed them. Fives loves that you care for his brothers, and you both cried together after he told you about Echo. Other than that Fives has no idea how to comfort you when you are crying, and I stand by that. Expect awkward hugs and pats on the back, he feels guilty and wants to help, but he just doesn't know how. Also what little impulse control you do have, goes out the window when you are with Fives, so when the two of you are together at 79s, well let's just say its a miracle that you both haven't been banned from going back yet.
As for dates, Fives and you tend to just hangout and cause havoc. The most notable being you both sneaking into Rex's things and switching his bleach with pink hair dye. (Rex didn't take his bucket off for weeks following that incident)
For Marvel, I have half a mind to just say some shit, and ship you with Tony. But if im being completely honest I have no idea who to pair you with in the MCU. I know you love Bucky but I can't really say much in that department. (We really need to have our marvel marathon, after you finish clone wars though)
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Despite that tho I've been feeling the least Muslim I've probably ever felt in my life. Like do I actually believe in and agree with Islam? Do I actually like the Quran? I've come across so many things I don't like but also I'm only skimming the translation so I tell myself it's just because it's a translation and I need the full context so I can't say anything about how I feel without reading the tafsir, and also I'm reading the Abdullah Yusuf Ali translation which not to be rude I absolutely hate. It's just so bad. When I skim I don't understand what it's saying half the time but it would slow me down way too much to try to understand, it's so verbose and archaic and I feel like it was written by Yoda but in the dark ages or something. Why is this translation so popular? I could read Muhammad Asad, it's in my tafsir books, but I'm reading this one because it's the one that comes in my tajweed Quran (bc I'm a baby and need the color coded letters to remind me of tajweed rules bc tbh do I even know how to read Quran when I only read it once a year?), but also I asked my childhood friend's brother who's an imam and he suggested some other translation, was his name Abdul Halim or something? Idk but I haven't looked up his translation yet but the imam said he really liked that one and not that I know that much about this imam except I have memories of him attacking me n his little sister with a giant orca plushie when we were all really little but he seems chill and is pretty popular amongst our community so I feel like it's probably a good recommendation.
#T#I always see this imam speaking at events n stuff n I text his sister (my friend) whenever I do#And she's like I had no clue this event was happening and that he was speaking or I would have gone#ess em eych
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I JUST WOKE UP FROM A NAP AND CHARACTER PROFILES ARE OUT AHHHH
Im gonna mostly talk about the Golden Deer bc I've been waiting for forever for SOMETHING about them and now I have it I'm gonna run.
But some of my thoughts on the other houses:
Black Eagles: Nothing really caught my attention other then they have the most people without crests, and Dorothea hates herself :<
Blue Lions: Well... that certainly confirms the theory that the Childhood Friends don't accept Dedue very well aosjsj Sylvain is the only one who doesn't seem to have a problem with Dimitri no wonder he's so willing to work on his womanizing he's the only friend who isn't judging him (bc Ingrid HAS to not like that Dimitri has Dedue as a retainer and even if it didn't sour their relationship completely it had to have put some strain on it. No wonder she and Felix are seen together so often aksjsj). ALSO ANNETTES A SWEET ANGEL.
OK Now Onto the Golden Deer akjsjs (I'm on mobile or else I'd put a read more sorry akdjsj)
FIRST OF ALL- THIS???
DOESN'T SHE MENTION AN OLDER BROTHER IN THE ADVICE BOX??? I could be remembering it wrong but I SWEAR she was like "i have to write my brother but I dont know what to write him about so tell me". Someone please explain is my memory bad or is Hilda submitting false facts to the ask box for fun?
Hilda is definitely that girl who said "um excuse me we're having a conversation. Rude." To a teacher when they tried to stop her talking in class aksjaj
I love how persuasion is right in the middle of her otherwise totally normal likes lol i can just hear her listing off her likes and just saying that aloud so casually and the person she's talking to is just like "excuse me- wait what was that one in the middle??" "Fashion :>"
RAPHAEL HAS A BABY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!! I REPEAT RAPHAEL HAS A BABY SISTER AHHHHHHHH HE MUST BE SUCH A GOOD BIG BRO!! PLEASE LET NOTHING HAPPEN TO HER IF SOMEONE EVEN LOOKS AT HER FUNNY I WILL DELETE THEM
ASSJSHAJS Lorenz likes Monitering Claude LMAO, its his #1 hobby. Also we finally have a reason to have a rivalry with Black Eagles- Lorenz hates coffee but Hubert loves it. (Also he hates vulgarity lmao bet there was at least 1 time where Leonie and Claude just swore constantly around him for an entire day alsjsj)
Also what is a worthy women and how much do you wanna bet he's been slapped in the face for phrasing it like that bc he absolutely has to have been socked at least once.
Ignatz hates lightning and there better be some good found family fics of the Golden Deer helping him distract himself during storms!!
(Also he seems to really like the church so wonder how that goes with Claude aksjs)
Lysithea still adorable, loves sweets and cute things and hates bitter food aksjjss also hates anything physcially laborious what a gigantic mood
Ashe also hates ghost and as someone who thinks they'd be adorable together I love the idea that they're the couple that go see a disney movie while the others go watch horror (but they still get scared by the wind that night and call Mercedes to come take care of the ghost aksjjs).
Leonie's is exactly how I thought it'd be aksjsj don't have a lot to say except she's the big sister of the group and has for sure punched Lorenz in the face
Marianne and Claude are at the bottom bc they're my favorites and I have a lot to say about them akshshs
Ladakdjsj why does "long rides" make me think of a dating profile?? "Hi my name is Claude Von Riegan, I love long rides on the beach and tactically scheming as the sunsets. Pick me and I'll let you grasp any part of me you want."
Anyway SO pumped to finally have stuff coming out about Claude aksjsjs after what feels like years of just getting scraps we're finally getting some gosh dang FOOD and we DESERVE IT
His dislikes are interesting, like its so clear he doesn't trust the gods at ALL kasjjs and he clearly has a reason for that which I'm sure will come out in the main plot since its all about the church who are just a bunch of people blindly following Seiros akdjs
(Also who's gonna tell him he's in a fire emblem game and is just as subject to the rng gods as the rest of us? Leaving things to chance is the underlying tagline of the combat system cause sure you have a 95% to hit but there's still a chance you won't 🙃)
Love that he likes poetry, he is the guy who can rehearse shakespear by heart but mostly just spouts the existential stuff but will whip out a real romantic verse when the moments right (unlike Lorenz who only remembers the romantic stuff). Definitely is the guy who writes haiku jokes using haiku's and it drives everyone else crazy. Also I hc that he means long rides on his wyvern and not a horse bc ever since I saw that he can become a wyvern rider I can't not think of him as one akssj (I'm calling the wyvern Goldy the Golden Good Boy of the Von Riegans, Goldy for short, becauze it makes me laugh akdjsj.)
Also wtf does planning feasts mean??? What does planning a feast entail?? Is this just a medieval way to say he likes to party??
MARIANNE'S #1 DISLIKE IS HERSELF NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WHO DID THIS TO HER WHERE ARE THEY AND HOW PREPARED ARE THEY FOR THESE HANDS???
PLEASE LET ME BE ABLE TO GIVE HER A HUG INTSYS!!!
Ok calming down I am SO fascinated by Marianne, cause she clearly has so much story to her and I for one can't wait to find it all out. Cause she's so different from the other nobles, all of them are quite confident and loud (in personality and color) but shes the exact opposite, and we don't even know what her crest is so we can't figure out who her birth family are and what happened to them that made her get fostered by the Edmunds. And the Edmunds themselves are just another hole because how do they treat her? I cant imagine its good? But perhaps it is and whatever happened to her birth family is why she's so depressed and lacks self confidence? Akjdkss Ok I'm just rambling now I'll stop but long story short I'm hyped to play Golden Deer and see what her relationship is with the rest of the house xD (especially Claude bc they have such different viewpoints on the gods and the church so their supports are gonna be interesting aksjjs)
#fire emblem three houses#fe:3h spoilers#golden deer#claude von riegan#hilda valentin goneril#marianne von edmund#vixenramblesfireemblem#i have so many thoughts but i just woke up so i cant articulate them akdjsjsn#thank u if you read this rambling mess lol
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50 QUESTIONS YOU’VE NEVER BEEN ASKED
tagged by @revengeisalwaysanoption
(sorry I changed the lower case aesthetic on the questions but it was bugging me out lol)
1. What is the color of your hairbrush? Black
2. A food you never eat? Just from a "I don't like it" point of view, almost every type of mushrooms and legumes, but there are a lot of things I can't eat bc my body is weak like that
3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Well, during winter I'm too warm on public trasportation and too cold outside, during summer I'm almost chilly on public transportation and way too hot outside
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? I was having lunch
5. What is your favorite candy bar? I'm really blanking on this bc I don't really eat a lot of sweet stuff, but I'd agree that Kinder Bueno was really really good
6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? No, I have not
7. What is the last thing you said out loud? LMAO it was "Ci sono i fantasmi qui, huh?" ("It seems like we have ghosts in here") and it was a sarcastic remark bc one of my flatmates quickly sneaked in and out of the kitchen very quietly while I was doing the dishes without even say hello. I mean, that seems rude to me but maybe I'm wrong
8. What is your favorite ice cream? I'm a simple gal, I like chocolate, but I also like to pair it with mango, berries or passion fruit. Once I tried salted caramel and it was good.
9. What was the last thing you had to drink? A boring glass of water
10. Do you like your wallet? I guess I do, it's cute
11. What was the last thing you ate? Now I regret doing this right now bc I have to publicly admit that the last thing I ate was.. a formaggino MIO. In my defense, I was still hungry after lunch and I had nothing else! (For those of you who do not know what a formaggino MIO is, it's a type of processed cream cheese very popular here as baby food. I'm pretty sure 98% of italian babies are actually raised on bread&formaggino and pasta&formaggino)
12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? I did not. Everything is closed, I have not left my home in forever and I'm not one for online shopping tbh
13. The last sporting event you watched? I think it was some sort of volleyball tournament last December, I'm not sure tho
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Just salted
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? @starkgazing
16. Ever go camping? No
17. Do you take vitamins? I try every now and then but I honestly forget easily
18. Do you go to church every sunday? No, never actually did
19. Do you have a tan? I have not seen the sun in so long I'm not even sure it's still there
20. Do you prefer chinese food or pizza? This is actually hard because I like pizza but I cannot eat it, and when I tried chinese food it was sooo good and it didn't hurt my body the way pizza does lol
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? No, but I also very rarely drink soda
22. What color socks do you usually wear? I either go very classic (black, grey and white) or buy the most stupid ones in fucsia with a bear that says *hello*, there's no in between
23. Ever drive above the speed limit? I don't have a license but in general I get very anxious when I'm in a car with someone that drives fast
24. What terrifies you? What does NOT terrify me is the real question. The easy and not deep answer would be spiders
25. Look to your left, what do you see? My bread dough raising under two blankets and a rag
26. Wat chore do you hate? Cleaning the shower in particular but in general the fact that I have to climb over random things to clean half the house bc I'm too short to reach anything
27. What do you think of when you hear an australian accent? I like it! I don't really understand it sometimes, but I like it
28. What’s your favorite soda? I'm always confused by what is considered a soda, but I think that Schweppes lemon counts
29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? I can ONLY eat seated at a table (and I don't have a car), so i definitely go in
30. Who’s the last person you talked to? My other flatmate (not the ghost one)
31. Favorite cut of beef? I just realised that I actually rarely eat beef if not minced; if we talk about bovine meat, I usually buy veal (the veal sirloin steak is one of the most delicious thing in the world)
32. Last song you listened to? Remedios la bella by Modena City Ramblers
33. Last book you read? I'm trying to read Doktor Živago (It's not going well), the last one I finished was 10 minutes 38 seconds in this strange world by Elif Shafak
34. Favorite day of the week? Probably Saturdays
35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? I tried. No.
36. Do you like your coffee? I was forced to buy a different brand bc I don't want to go to a supermarket far away where I usually buy my fair trade coffee; it's not terrible but it's not my usual strong south american/african/indian blend that is somehow called arabica
37. Favorite pair of shoes? I used to have a great pair of leather combat boots that sadly got destroyed rip
38. At what time do you normally go to bed? I try to be in bed by 11:30 pm and asleep by midnight but I'm not afraid to fall asleep while reading or watching a tv show at 10pm lol or even stay up until 3am
39. At what time do you normally get up? I trained myself to stay in bed until at least 8am now that I don't have anything to attend to in the mornings
40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets
41. How many blankets are on your bed? Well, just one where I live now, but back at home in the mountains last winter I had two wool blankets and two duvets (and a fleece blanket ready on the side just in case)
42. Describe your kitchen plates. Boring white. My sister bought them and I'm very disappointed; luckily I have a small plate for dessert in this great shade of dark anthracite grey a friend of mine gifted me a while ago
43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? I like red wine but if we're talking strong ones, I like tequila
44. Do you play cards? It's a holiday tradition with my family. Things can get scary, believe me
45. What color is your car? I don't have a car
46. Can you change a tire? Nope
47. What is your favorite province? I.. don't have one? (I'm not sure I understand the question tbh)
48. Favorite job you’ve ever had? I loved working in the bio-preparation lab. I was not involved in the actual process but still I felt very badass operating the autoclave and all the other sterilizing machines and going around with a cart full of glassware
49. How did you get your biggest scar? An incadescent flatiron
50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? I sent a stupid video on my family's groupchat, I hope I made someone happy at least lol my sister seemed amused
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This PTG 5th anniversary is getting me through feelings I didn't think I was going to feel anymore.
After everything that happened with Z* and 1dead I was for sure so so so done with "boy bands" and "boy groups". By the time they "took a break" and B** was gaining popularity in western culture I was so done with everything because I swore noone would make me feel like I did back when I was 14/15, I was so sure about it that I intentionally didn't listen to kpop because I was being edgy and "too grown up" and then my sister showed me PTG and I was at first like, okay, they don't sound too bad, Daisy was such a good song and then I started to see some of their interviews and how well they treated each other and I was so drawn to them because how good their chemistry was.
The thing that I valued the most about 1dead was the relationships they had with each other (ofc I liked their music, but it was just a plus). That was the thing that brought me to PTG so eager. I had heard rumors, and of course it can be true and it does happen, about so many idols not being friends or even friendly to one another, and of course you sure don't have to, because being an idol is a job as any other and for the cameras you need to be pristine and be good but it doesn't always look like that. But for me the single thing that picks my interest in kpop is the bond that people have with each other, I don't want to watch people perform and then don't talk with the other, I want to see friendship and companionship because, although it may be something personal, I want to feel how people love each other, I'm a sucker for friendships because I've never had a real friend in my life, because I'm always alone and I don't have bonds with people and THAT is what captivated me the most about PTG, they all look so close to each other, they all seem to genuinely care about one another, and that's not something you can fake.
And I know, believe me, that idols aren't always what they seem and PTG might be like that, but there's something so different about the way PTG talks about the members. I've seen so many videos and compilations of idols and groups and they are funny and they treat each other nicely and perhaps they are friends, but nobody has the bond that PTG has, at least for my eyes. I've seen you guys here talking about how PTG never crosses the line, they respect each other so much that if they have anything "negative" to say they try not to be rude or mean. The whole gag about Honk and Kino being those brothers who bicker all the time and Honk being all flustered bc Kino only talks to him about the dance, and you can see how Kino doesn't do it for being mean or evil, and Honk knows it too so that's why he's so grateful for his members, because if something IS wrong they're going to talk about it and try to see what can be done. That's why I DO believe that Hui must be one of the best leaders out there, he's so caring but serious, he has gone through so much but he knew they would become glorious one day, he is something else in this industry, really, nobody is doing it like him.
Every single member in PTG has gained my heart, with everything they do and everything they don't. I may be biased with Changgu and Shinwon and Wooseok and Kino and Hui and Yan An and Yuto and Jinho and Hongseok but they conquered my heart with everything they have shown me so far. I'm so new to PTG dynamics but I can for sure say that what they have is something special and when Jinho sang in RTK "my friends even if time goes by our memories will last forever" that's when I new that I had no return back, that I would be investing my time in a group at the other side of the planet that I may never see in person, but because I can see the friendship that has formed around PTG specially with the stuff that has happened to them I just, I'm so proud and happy to have found them, they've changed my life this eigth months, I'm someone new thanks to them, they helped me through the lowest last year and now I can't be thankful enough for how much Pentagon and One Direction have saved my life.
And then Spring Snow and I cry every time, once I learned the meaning behind it and, oh god, eternal flame and till and... I have felt so much connection with their music, and that's why I keep "comparing" them with 1dead, because FOR ME the music they make has had so much impact on my life, I can't think of myself without Right Now by 1d or without Till... by PTG. I just can't picture myself without them in my life.
I'm just going through so much at the moment and they have their anniversary and I'm so happy and sad and scared about the future... But there's just one thing that I'm absolutely certain about: PENTAGON IS THE KING, THERE'S NO DOUBT.
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