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mommytauriel · 1 year

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Sihtric x reader where reader is a ward of Uhtred. Reader is the first person to show Sihtric kindness when he’s captured after the attack in episode 2 season 2 and from then on he’s been smitten. The problem is that King Alfred and Uhtred came to an agreement that reader would be married off to a lord so that way she’s taken care off if something were to happen to Uhtred. I just started watching the show so you can decide the rest.

+ · 。~ promised to another p1

pairing: sihtric x female! reader | genre: forbidden romance?, angst, fluff | warnings: slight cursing, I think that’s all | wc: 6.4K |

synopsis: You and sihtric just met and yet the feelings you felt for each other were so strong.

request: yes

note: Okay first, thank you for sending in a request! And I’m sorry for how long it’s taken me to get it out! I absolutely love this idea and I still have so many ideas for it, this will be a multiple part series, I am thinking 4 parts? I hope you guys enjoy!

Thank you @underragingwaves for letting me use the lovely gif!

Part one Part two

The weather is hot, the sun beating down on you makes your eyes squint and the sleeves of your dress stick to your skin. You hated it. At least there was the breeze of wind that helped with the heat. Weather like this reminds you of the days you spent with your father, playing in the gardens and fields of your home, your father's estate.

Your father was an Ealdorman of Wessex, a fierce warrior and a dear friend of the king. He loved nothing more than his family, his home and his King. So, it wasn't the biggest surprise when he died protecting what he loves, his family, his home and his king. You remember the day he left to fight, he came into your room and kissed your forehead. You were still in bed when he promised to return. He never did return, he died in the battle of Edington and a part of you died that day too.

You didn't stay in your home for long after your father's death, you were outside when it happened. You were sitting under a tree reading one of your father's favorite books when the king came, he crouched in front of you and told you the news. That you would be coming to live with him, and your younger brother would stay and learn to become an Ealdorman. You didn't have much of a choice, so you said your goodbyes and left.

Your stay at the castle was for several years, after a threat on your life that almost had you killed, King Alfred was filled with guilt and doubt. He couldn't have the only daughter of his late friend killed, killed in his home. So, despite a part of him disagreeing and the anger and shouts of his wife he did what he thought was best, put you in the protection of Uhtred.

And that brings you to where you are now, standing in a field watching Uhtred train King Guthreds men. You have lost count of the months you have been with Uhtred. Uhtred has been very kind to you, very understanding. He doesn't complain when you take a little longer to get ready or when you have them stop more often so you can bathe. He understands your position, you were raised and lived as a lady…and now you ride with him. It was a very different life.

You were standing in between Hild and Father Beocca, your fingers playing with your bracelet. You watched with squinted eyes as Uhtred bests Clapa once again. You enjoyed watching Uhtred fight, it reminded you of when you would watch your father train.

The content look on your face quickly disappears when you see a group of men on horseback approaching. You could tell by their attire that they were Danes. You absentmindedly move closer to Hild. Your eyes scan over the men as they dismount from their horse’s and step closer to Uhtred and King Guthred, one of them; the tall one closer than the others.

You don't bother paying attention to the conversation they seem to be having, instead your eyes wander to the Danes, scanning over them. Your eyes linger on one of them in particular, he was standing behind the tall one in front, his posture made him seem…nervous as if he didn't want to be there.

You tilt your head slightly as you look him over, curiosity in your eyes. He looked different from the others, and not in a bad way. His hair was pulled back and to be honest…he was quite pretty. He didn't look like the men you would see growing up is all you could say.

You blink a few times when you realize you have zoned out, you look towards Uhtred to see him leaning back, an unimpressed look on his face. You look back to the pretty Dane, only to see that he was already looking at you. Your eyes widen and you quickly avert your eyes away from him and to Uhtred.

After a few moments you look back at him and watch as he tilts his head slightly and his eyes rake over your body. His eyes met yours again and this time you weren't the first to look away. You feel a rush or satisfaction when you see his cheeks flush at the fact that you caught him. You look away from him when you feel someone touch your arm.

“You should join Lady Gisela in her tent and get out of the sun” Hild smiles slightly, patting your arm reassuringly, nodding her head towards Lady Gisela. Who seemed to be waiting for you, a smile on her face as she stood with a few other women. You smile at Hild and whisper your goodbyes to the warrior nun, who has shown you nothing but kindness and love.

Your hands went to your sides to hold up your dress a little, so you could walk without tripping. You send one more smile to Hild before making your way towards Lady Gisela. You kept your chin up and your shoulders back as you ignored the hungry looks from the Danes you walked past. You stop yourself from looking at the Dane that had caught your attention earlier, but when you feel a hard stare on your back, you can't help but look back, hoping to see the pretty Dane looking at you.

But instead, you see one of the other Danes staring at you as you walk away, specifically your arse. The look of disgust on your face quickly changes to a look of surprise when the Dane who was staring at you inappropriately, is bumped into causing him to stop looking at you. You felt your heart flutter in appreciation when you saw that it was the pretty Dane who purposely bumped into him. He noticed your stare and gave you a small nod before looking forward and catching an apple from the tall Dane.

“Lady Y/n are you ready to go?” Lady Gisela asked. You quickly looked away from the Danes and to Lady Gisela, who had taken a few steps to be closer to you.

“Oh yes I am, my apologies” you apologize with a bashful smile, your hands nervously playing with the fabric of your dress. Lady Gisela was a very kind woman, but she had such a strong presence that you couldn't help but feel a little nervous under her charming eyes.

“No need to apologize” Lady Gisela says with a knowing smirk. You start to worry that she noticed you staring at the pretty Dane. She doesn't say anything on the matter, she just links her arm in yours and starts to lead you to where her tent was, starting a conversation with one of the women that was joining you.

You glance behind you one more time to see he was already looking at you. When the two of you lock eyes you give him a small smile, before quickly looking forward before your small exchange would be seen by others. You tried to focus on Lady Gisela’s and the others' conversation, but your mind kept on bringing you back to thoughts of the pretty Dane. I really need to figure out his name, so i can stop calling him pretty Dane you think with a faint smile.

Cooling down in Lady Gisela’s tent was nice, you had missed spending time with other women. You of course had Hild, but the two of you were always surrounded by Uhtred and Halig. So, spending time with strictly just women was nice, and very much needed. You spent a few hours with them, eating, talking…well more like gossiping before you went to your own tent. King Guthred had asked for his sister, and you felt more comfortable being in your tent since it was starting to get dark.

You were alone in your tent for a few minutes, just resting on your bed that was covered with many different furs. King Guthred had been very kind and had made sure that your tent was satisfactory for you, and it definitely was. You were reading one of your father's books when Uhtred walked into your tent, sword in hand. You would have been worried that something was wrong if Uhtred didn't smile at you and lift up the sword sharpening stone.

The worry on your face disappears and you greet him with a smile, you can tell that Uhtred wasn't ready to talk so you go back to reading your book. While Uhtred sits on the wooden stool in your tent and starts sharpening his sword, focusing on his thoughts. This had happened a few times before, Uhtred coming to you to relax and quietly focus on his thoughts. The silence between the two of you was never awkward. You both felt very comfortable in each other's presence.

It was silent for a few more minutes, the only thing you could hear was the sound of Uhtred sharpening his sword and the faint sound of talking from outside your tent. You were nearing the end of the chapter; the main character was voicing her worries to her mentor about their enemies, and it started to get you thinking.

“I don't trust them” you say after a few more minutes of silence. Your eyes were trained down at your book, your eyebrows furrowed as you thought more about it. Uhtred stopped sharpening his sword and looked towards you, confused and intrigued. “Who?”

“The Danes Uhtred, i don't trust them.”

“You know you will be safe with me” he reassured you when he sensed the worry in your tone. He also had his suspicions about them, but he didn’t like that you worried about them. He wanted you to feel safe with him and not worry about such things.

“I know that Uhtred, but what if they want to harm you?”

“Are you worrying about me?” Uhtred wonders with a small smirk. Finding it adorable that you were worrying about him.

You huff in annoyance and close your book and set it by your side, annoyed that it seemed that he wasn’t taking what you were saying seriously. “Uhtred, I’m serious I can’t exactly protect you.”

Uhtred laughs warmly and stands up, setting his sword and sharpening stone on the wood table by his stool. Before he comes and crouches in front of you. He reaches for your hands that were in your lap and gives them a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t protect me, I protect you.”

“Stop worrying little flower” Uhtred smiles at you, squeezing your hands one more time before kissing your forehead and standing up. You return the smile even though you were still worried, you trusted Uhtred with your life, so you trusted his words.

Uhtred walks back to the table and grabs his sword before turning to look at you with a grin. “Now come join us and eat, Hild is worried you’re not eating enough.”

“If Hild keeps on feeding me so much I’m going to need new dresses to fit in” you say with another huff and a roll of your eyes. You knew Hild only had good intentions, but there was only so much you could eat.

“Well, that won’t do, I don’t have enough coin to buy you more of your fancy dresses” Uhtred jokes with a teasing smirk. He laughs loudly and moves to the side, dodging the fancy comb you threw at him.

“One, please tell Hild I will be staying in my tent and that I’m not hungry. Two, me and my fancy dresses are choosing to ignore what you just said.”

“Whatever you say princess” Uhtred says with one more last smile before leaving, nodding at your personal guard that stayed outside your tent at all times. Whenever Uhtred wasn’t with you, he made sure that your guard was with you. He never wanted you to be alone and defenseless again.

You let out a tired sigh once Uhtred had left, the heat from earlier and the long day you had, finally getting to you. You let yourself fall back against your bed and close your eyes. The soft furs of your bed just telling you to go to sleep, you ended up listening to them, and you drifted off in a peaceful sleep. Completely clueless to what was happening in the stables, not too far from you.

The next time you saw the pretty Dane was in the morning, and you were thoroughly confused at the sight in front of you. You were already dressed and ready for the day when you stepped out of your tent, you walked around the camp hoping to find Uhtred, Hild, anyone you knew really.

You stopped dead in your tracks, a look of confusion on your face. The pretty Dane that you couldn’t keep your eyes away from yesterday…was tied to a cart. Why is he tied up? You thought. What have I missed?

“Lady y/n” a voice brings you out of your thoughts. You look away from the tied-up Dane to an approaching Halig. Haligs voice gets the attention of the Dane and he turns his head to see who Halig was talking to, he sits up straight when he sees who it is. It’s you he thought.

“Hild is in her tent if you need her” Halig continues, he had assumed you were looking for her, like you usually do in the mornings. You give Halig a faint smile before glancing back at the Dane, who quickly avoided eye contact from you. “Oh, I’m alright Halig. Why is he tied up? Where are the other Danes?”

“Those bastards are dead, we're keeping that one over there as a prisoner” Halig responds with a proud nod, your eyes widened and you step closer to Halig, you really did miss a lot. “What happened?”

“Oh, right you were sleeping, well those bastards tried to kill Uhtred but- “Halig says as if it was nothing, but you are quick to cut him off, feeling very worried for Uhtred.

“Is Uhtred okay? Where is he?” You asked Halig anxiously. You were right, those Danes couldn’t be trusted, oh you hope Uhtred is okay. The pretty Dane deflates and looks down at the ground at the way you worry about Uhtred. Of course, a pretty woman like you was taken, and of course it had to be with the man he was sent to help kill, he thought with an annoyed scoff.

“He's in his tent” Halig tells her first and opens his mouth again to brag about how well he did last night, but you quickly walk past him. One thing on your mind, and that was to make sure Uhtred was okay. Halig just shrugs and walks back to the cart loading it.

You make your way through the camp and back towards your tent, Uhtred’s tent was close to yours, he didn't want you far from him. You turn the corner of your tent the same time someone else does, you jump back in fright, putting your hand on your chest. Uhtred laughs and holds your arms gently, so you don't trip. “Did I scare you y/n.”

You ignore his words and throw your arms over his shoulders, closing your eyes and pulling him in for a tight hug. You were so afraid that he was hurt from last night, so you were very happy to see him in front of you, seemingly to be alright. Uhtred’s eyes widen in surprise from your hug, but he's quick to wrap his arms around your waist and hold you to his chest. “Whoa I must've really scared you."

“Halig said the Danes tried to kill you” You voice out, but it comes out muffled because your face was currently shoved in his chest. Uhtred smiles now understanding, you were still worried for him. Uhtred rubs your back and whispers gently. “I am okay y/n, come on let's get breakfast, I’ll tell you what you have missed.”

You and Uhtred had gotten some fruit and bread and sat down at a table where Uhtred had explained all that you missed. And let's just say your worry for Uhtred did not lessen. If Kjartan sent men to get Uhtred once, what's stopping him from doing it a second time? You open your mouth to voice your worries but close it when you see Uhtred attention goes to Lady Gisela who’s walking past the two of you. Your eyes widen when Lady Gisela gives Uhtred a shy smile before continuing to walk away.

Uhtred turns to look at you and you raise your eyebrow, silently questioning what that was. Uhtred rolls his eyes and stands up, making you look up at him. “I have some things to do, Hild should be around here somewhere.”

“You mean you have someone to do?” You say with a mischievous smile. Uhtred laughs and shakes his head at your response, he truly has been a bad influence on you. He turns to walk away but turns back, forgetting that he has to tell you something. “Y/n, don't go near the prisoner, okay?”

“Okay”

You of course didn't end up listening to him. It was an hour or so since your conversation with Uhtred and you feared you would die from boredom. Hild was praying, Halig was with Clapa, your guard was training and Uhtred… well you didn't want to know what he was currently doing. Since everyone was busy, that means the prisoner was being guarded by a random man, a random man that you could easily trick.

If you were going to do this you had to make sure you were doing it the right way, you had no room for mistakes. A mistake in this situation would get you in a lot of trouble, and you really didn't want to be in trouble with Uhtred. Your fear of getting in trouble with Uhtred was calling you to stall and hide behind a tree, and out of sight from the guard and the pretty Dane.

You weren't scared of Uhtred, you just didn't want to disappoint him by not listening to him. You really did plan on listening to him, but your curiosity had gotten to you, and you spent the last 30 minutes making a plan of action. A plan to talk to the pretty Dane. It definitely wasn't the best plan, to be clear. But with a little luck, you would have your chance to talk to him.

You didn't understand why this Dane you knew nothing about had captured your attention. You knew he was dangerous and not on your side, was that what attracted you to him? Or was it the way he defended you in a way yesterday? You didn’t know, but you wanted to find out.

“I’m gonna take a piss, don't move” A voice behind you said, you looked behind the tree to see the guard talking to the Dane. This was your chance; you didn't even have to distract him. The guard snickers and walks backwards “Not like you could move even if you wanted to.”

You roll your eyes at the guard's remark, you watch as he walks through the trees and far out of sight. You wait a few more moments, just to make sure you would be safe and wouldn't be seen. You let out a nervous breath and step out from behind the tree. The Dane’s back was towards you, so he didn't notice you step out from behind the trees. You took a few steps towards the cart, only to step on a twig; alerting him of your presence.

The Dane's head swiftly snaps to look at you, as soon as he hears the sound of the twig snapping under your foot. You smile shyly when the two of you lock eyes, taking a few more steps to now stand in front of him. The Dane just looks up at you, confusion in his eyes, he didn't understand why you out of all the people were here…right in front of him.

“Here” You began as you crouched down in front of him, holding out a red apple for him; a gentle smile on your face, hoping that it would hide your nervousness. “I noticed you haven't eaten yet” You continued.

The Dane hesitantly takes the apple from her hands. He wasn't going to at first, but the warmness he felt from your smile and eyes told him that it's okay. You looked into his eyes, and you couldn't help but be surprised at the sight, he had two different colored eyes, one blue and one brown. How peculiar, but beautiful you thought with a smile. You spoke with a soft tone “I’m Y/n, what's your name?”

“I’m Sihtric” He tells you quickly, also looking into your eyes. You were so close to him, and he just wanted to memorize everything about you. His eyes widen when he realizes his mistake on the way he addressed you. “My Lady” he told you quickly and nervously.

“You can just call me Y/n” You smile widely, you find his nervousness adorable. You didn't expect a ‘murderous and dangerous Dane’ to get so nervous and shy in front of you. Halig had told you earlier that he's a ‘murderous and dangerous Dane’ but he didn't seem like that in front of you.

It was quiet for a few moments besides the sound of sihtric biting into the apple and the faint sound of birds in the distance, you didn't have much time you had to tell him.

“Thank you Sihtric”

“Shouldn't I be the one thanking you?” He says confused, motioning towards the almost finished apple that he scarfed down, maybe later he would feel a little embarrassed for eating in such a way in front of a lady, you really didn't care though.

“I mean for yesterday” You clarified, your smile still on your face.

“It's no problem my lady” He tells you, returning the smile with one of his own. You go to tell him that he didn't have to call you that but you close your mouth and look behind you when you hear footsteps. You sigh, you wanted more time with him.

“I should go, Bye sihtric” You give him a faint smile before standing up, ignoring the small ache you felt in your legs from crouching for so long. You grab onto your dress and rush off before you could be seen and before sihtric could respond to you.

“Bye Y/n” Sihtric whispered to himself as he turned his head to watch you rush off, a small smile forming on his face when you almost trip over the bottom of your dress. He watches until he can't see you anymore, he sighs and turns back around leaning back against the cart and hiding the finished apple behind the wheel. He missed you already, this isn't good he thought to himself.

You weren't present when Sihtric held a sword to Halig’s throat and swore his sword and loyalty to Uhtred. You were at a table reading and eating some fruit, let's just say you were very surprised when you saw sihtric walk past the table you were sitting at, following an annoyed Halig. Why am I always missing everything you thought with a huff.

You were watching Halig and sihtric walk away when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You flinch and quickly turn around to see who it was, you let out a breath of relief when you see it's a smiling Uhtred and not some creep trying to cop a feel. Why did he always have to scare you! “Uhtred!”

“I didn't mean to scare you, come on King Guthred wants us to join them to eat” Uhtred laughs we really need to work on her not being so jumpy Uhtred thinks. You really wanted to refuse but you knew you couldn't, it wouldn't be ladylike of you if you did. So, you sighed and stood up, holding your closed book to your chest. Uhtred smiles and wraps his arm around your shoulder and leads you to where King Guthred was sitting, Lady Gisela sitting next to him.

You had left the table a few moments after Uhtred did, claiming that you were going to your tent to cool down from the beating sun. Lady Gisela who had noticed your discomfort earlier on was quick to say her goodbyes with a knowing smile. You were grateful to have her in your life. You glance at Clapa fighting as you walk past the group of men cheering for him.

You sigh and hold your hands in front of you as you walk towards your tent, trying to ignore your guards' eyes that were on your back. He followed you almost everywhere if you weren't with Uhtred, he made sure not to stay too close to you, he knew you liked your privacy. You could see your tent in the distance, and you wanted to smile in relief, knowing that you could have some quiet and alone time in your tent. You pull back the flap of your tent and go to step in but stop in your tracks at the sound of someone calling for you.

“Lady Y/n” Sihtric Greets as he walks towards you, only to step back and raise his hands in surrender when your guard steps closer to him and pulls out his sword telling sihtric to stay back. Your eyes widen and you step closer to them. “It's alright Matthew, you can leave us.”

“My lady?” Matthew looks back at you with a confused look, his sword still pointing at sihtric.

“I will be fine Matthew” You reassure him with a small nod. Matthew looks back at you one more time, before setting his gaze on sihtric and giving him, a glare and he slowly lowers his sword. Matthew doesn't break eye contact with sihtric as he steps back and takes his usual position at the side of your tent. Sihtric gulps feeling slightly intimidated by your guard. You smile at the slight fear in sihtric’s eyes, little did he know how much of a softie Matthew truly is.

“Sihtric, we can talk inside” You smile motioning towards your tent, it would be nice to talk to him privately. Sihtric spares a glance towards your guard, before stepping forward and following you into your tent. Neither of them noticed a man hiding behind another tent watching the exchange, he didn't stay long before he rushed to tell what he saw to a certain Abbot.

Sihtric's eyes widen when he steps into your tent, and he takes in the sight. He had briefly seen the inside of Halig’s tent when he was showing him around earlier, and it was no way near as nice as yours was. Sihtric wipes his hands on his pants trying to show you that he was nervous, and to be fair, he wasn't the only one freaking out about him being in your tent. You were too.

It is highly inappropriate to be alone in your tent, if only your mother could see you now. She's definitely turning in her grave at your unladylike ness. You ignore your nervousness and walk over to the table that has a jug of water and a few cups, you fill two cups of water up and turn around, holding a cup out for him. “Here”

“Thank you, y/n,” Sihtric smiles as he steps closer to you, when he takes the cup in his grasp his hand brushes against yours, he's alarmed at how much your soft touch affected him, that's never happened before.

“I missed a lot in a short amount of time, you aren't Uhtred's prisoner anymore?” You question him even though you already know the answer. You move to sit on your bed, the soft furs comforting you. You take a sip of your water while your other hand plays with the soft fur.

“No, I swore my loyalty to him,” Sihtric said as his eyes followed every move of yours. He slowly took a sip of his water, cooling his dry throat. Sihtric stands still in his spot near the front of your tent.

“So, I shouldn't be worried about you killing me then? Or Uhtred?” You smile teasingly as you lean back on your palm. Your eyes not leaving his as you tilt your head slightly. Sihtric feels his heart start to beat faster at the sight in front of him, you looked so beautiful, the teasing smile and look in your eyes was making him feel things he shouldn't feel.

“Lady, I would never! I won't harm you or your husband.”

“My husband?” You laugh out with a confused smile. I don't have a husband?

“Uhtred is your husband, isn't he?” Sihtric questions, you find the way he tilted his head slightly as he asked adorable.

“No no no, Uhtred is like a brother to me” You stumble over your words as you try to get them out as quickly as you can. You and Uhtred? No way. Why would he think that? You stop leaning back and sit straight as you look up at him.

Sihtric licks his lips and tries to ignore the burst of relief he felt at your words. There was still a chance you were married; I hope you're not sihtric thinks. “Do…Do you have a husband?”

“No i don't” You smile thankfully, you definitely weren't ready for marriage. You look down at your cup of water, why was he asking? You look up from your cup and to his eyes he is very handsome and asking if I am married, why is this making me so flustered “Do you have a wife?”

“No lady, i don't” When sihtric says those words it's like music to your ears. Sihtric noticed the way your eyes lit up at his answer and he had to hide his smile from seeing your reaction. The tension was thick as the two of you stared into each other's eyes, neither of you wanting to break eye contact and neither of you knowing what to say.

“Why did you swear your loyalty to uhtred?” You wondered aloud, finally breaking the silence. Sihtrics eyes widen, and he falters a little, as if he didn't expect you to ask him that. You lean back on your palm and take a sip of your water that you had forgotten was in your hand, you were too distracted by his beautiful eyes, but then again who wouldn't be. God he's so pretty.

“A lot of reasons really” He cleared his throat and took another sip of his water. You could see a lot of emotions in his eyes as he thought about your question. You scooted over on your bed and patted the spot next to you. If he did feel comfortable telling you those reasons you wanted him to be comfortable physically, not standing on the other side of the tent looking at you as if you were going to pounce on him any second.

He hesitates but when you give him a comforting smile, he walks across the tent and sits next to you. Not to close, but close enough that had both of you feeling flustered. You noticed he seemed a little apprehensive as you playfully bumped your shoulder into his and offered him a kind smile. “We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, i know we met not to long ag-”

“My Father is Kjartan, and my mother was a slave” He cuts you off. You closed your mouth and made sure that you kept your face neutral at his confession. You definitely didn't expect that, and you didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by your shock. Sihtric looked down at his knees as he added “Kjartan showed me no love or care, I know what type of man he is, he's a terrible man. A man that I don't want to serve.”

“Lord Uhtred, He's a good man. I want to serve a man like Uhtred, not my father” Sihtric finally gets the courage to look at you, readying himself to see anger or disappointment in your eyes at the fact that he's Kjartans bastard son. But he just sees your kind eyes.

“Uhtred is a good man and he's lucky to have you. '' you tell him with a smile, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. Sihtric looks down at your hand on your shoulder before quickly looking back at you, giving you a smile of his own. “I think I'm the lucky one.”

“How so?” You voice out with a shy giggle, feeling very flustered under his gaze. His eyes were staring into yours, only breaking the flirty eye contact to glance down at your lips. Both of you absentmindedly leaning closer, you found yourself looking down at his lips before looking back up to his eyes. You were so close you could feel each other's breath on your face, but still not close enough, your fingers were just itching to pull him closer.

“Lady y/n, Lady Gisela requests your presence” Matthew called from the outside of your tent, causing you and sihtric to jump apart. The annoyed curse you mutter under your breath causes sihtric to smirk. I did not expect that from a lady sihtric thought, but then again, he also didn't expect a lady to invite him in her tent. You were full of surprises.

“I should go” you tell him with a nod, but your eyes tell him that you want to stay. Sihtric notices the look in your eyes and doesn’t stop the cocky smile to appear on his face. He stands up and holds his hand out for you so he could help you up. You take his hand and let him help you up, your hands still interlocked as he spoke “Of course My lady.”

“Goodbye Sihtric” You smile up at him, you sadly let go of his hand. You liked the way his hand fit perfectly with yours, but you needed to go. Hopefully I can hold his hand another time you think happily. Sihtric leans down and takes you by surprise when his warm lips kiss your cheek. Just as soon as it happened it was over, sihtric steps back and gives you a cheeky smile, saying one last thing before leaving. “Goodbye y/n”

Over the next few days, a lot happened, not to you…but a lot happened. Uhtred had made sure to keep you away and safe from everything that was happening. So, you spent most of your time with Lady Gisela and Hild and of course Matthew. You were surprised how much you had missed sihtric over the few days, there weren't a lot of chances the two of you could talk. Both Uhtred and Matthew were tense about everything that was going on so that had made them even more protective than usual.

So that left you and sihtric to longing glances, small greetings through the day whenever you had the chance to, which was rare. Sihtric had started to miss you so much he even thought about sneaking into your tent at night to see you…he didn't think about it much. He knew Matthew wouldn't hesitate to stab his sharp impressive sword through his throat.

The first time you had a chance to really talk to sihtric again was when you were walking towards your horse. Everyone was getting ready for the journey to Eoferwic, Matthew was with Hild helping her with getting her things, he was reluctant to leave you at first, but you had convinced him to go help Hild, saying something about how she wanted his help…it wasn't too hard to convince him after you said that.

You were petting your horse when you heard the sound of footsteps, you quickly turned your head; the nervous look on your face turned to a smile when you saw who it was. Sihtric smiles and steps to your side, bringing his hand up to pet your horse's mane. You smiled back and looked back at your horse before saying “Would it be weird if I said I have missed you?”

Sihtric grins and chuckles and looks at you, admiring your side profile. Your words made him happier than he thought they would you are really do something to me “I guess we're both weird because i have missed you to my lady.”

“I have said several times that you don't have to call me that.” You scrunch your nose before trying your best to glare at him, but the laugh that slips past his lips causes you to smile and laugh as well. You were slightly out in the open, so in the back of your head you were a little worried that the two of you being seen laughing and close would cause some problems, but his next words made you forget your worries.

“I know, but I like the way your nose scrunches up when I call you that. It's cute” Sihtric tells you after he stops laughing. Your eyes widen and you shyly look back at your horse.

“What?” Sihtric asks when he notices the look on your face. Did he overstep? The last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable. You saw the panic in his eyes, so you stepped closer to him and placed your hand on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I've been called many things, but never cute.”

“Now that's weird” Sihtric flirts and tries to not make it obvious that he was looking at you up and down, admiring you. You had caught his eyes and felt a boost of confidence but before you could do anything the sounds of footsteps alerted you. Halig steps closer to the two of you, giving you a smile and nod before giving sihtric a heated glare. “Lord Uhtred needs you.”

“Goodbye Lady y/n” Sihtric said to you, making sure to emphasize the lady. You nod and mumble your goodbyes, watching as he takes a few steps backwards before turning around and walking off to where you assumed Uhtred was. You hoped you hid your disappointment well, and that Halig didn't notice.

Halig looks at you and asks, “Was he bothering you?”

“No Halig, he wasn't bothering me” you tell him with a reassuring nod. Halig nods and gives you one more look before walking off. When you make sure he can't see you, your lips spread into a smile as you think more about the pretty dane.

He definitely wasn't bothering me…

note: Hii! I’m back!! I feel like it’s been sooo long since I posted a fic! I have missed you all <;3

So this is the first part in my ‘promised to another’ short series. When I got this request I fell in love and so many ideas for it so I decided to make it into a short series! (The rest that was suggested in the request will take place in part two and then the other parts will a surprise on what happens 😉)

So there was actually more to this first part, I was at around 10.5k words and I wasn’t even done yet. So I decided to cut the first part into 2! The next part should be up next week idk!

Feel free to send some asks about this series. I would love to talk to you guys about it! ☺️

Please comment if you would like to be added to the taglist for this series or my tlk taglist in general!

So I have been pretty busy lately, but besides this short series and my WIP’s I have also started on another project!

I’m super excited about this! I have a series for osferth in the works! I cant wait to get the teaser out for you guys!

Please comment and tell me what you guys think about this! I would love to read all your thoughts!

Comments, likes and reblogs are very much appreciated!

Taglist: @clairacassidy @mads-weasley @haikyusfics

#the last kingdom #the last kingdom x reader #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric x reader #sihtric imagine #the last kingdom fanfic #arnas fedaravicius #sihtric the last kingdom #sihtric tlk #the last kingdom fluff

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romana-after-dark · 4 months

Text

Rooms on Fire: Stop Dragg'n My Heart Around

Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader

Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual

Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist : MainTaglist

Spotify playlist

Summery: Madonna learns more about her role and the dynamics of the household.

Warnings and Content:

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence.

Extra warnings for chapter: Anal, oral, love bombing, control

This is not meant to be a statement about religion, Christianity, or Catholicism, this is simply my take on a cult. I am a religious person. I understand that some of this may be very offensive to religious people so if you don't like thing like AHS Asylum or Black Mass, maybe consider not reading.

A/N: Every chapter will be named after a song from the spotify playlist. Dont forget to commen fitting songs!!

6.2k words

Support writers! Reblog and leave comments!

NEW OC: Faceclaim, Dev Patel

**************

There's people running 'round loose in the world Ain't got nothing better to do Than make a meal of some bright eyed kid You need someone looking after you~ Stop Dragg'n My Heart Around, Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks

You were the wife of deities. You were blessed, honored. Holy mother. The Madonna, and inside your womb the savior would grow. All four of them were Gods of different patronage, each with their own abilities and passions.

Francisco was the god of nature. He was the god of all that grew in the earth, the soil. the flowers. He was clairvoyant, but also had a gift of growth. Life. His prayers over you would solidify implantation after conception, keep you and your baby safe.

Benjamin was the sun god, god of celebration, and celebrate he did. Ben’s mood often controlled the weather. Most of the time, regular weather patterns took place, Benjamin’s emotions could change them, and he was prone to big emotions. That’s why him and Francisco worked so closely together. Weather and nature, working to keep the crops growing and the people safe.

William was all about duality, you were taught in catechism. God of war, God of medicine. He had the gift of healing, but also impeccable military prowess. This made for a powerful ally and feared enemy. William headed the military and security, but also watched over the medical care.

And Pope, Divine Mothers only child. Pope had the gift of discernment and prophesy. He was incredibly intelligent, and with that came respect. He was not just born into this position, but born for it. God of family, god of passion. You felt that passion so clearly every time his eyes bore into you. He could no more hide it than he could his own beauty.

So why, with all this power surrounding you, did you feel so scared?

Everything just feels so confusing right now. You feel as if you can’t get your head on straight, like everything is whirling. You're married. You might be pregnant. Why was everything so… hard. When Pope waved your bloodied sheet around, he was soon joined by a whooping Ben who took part in the celebrations and dragged Francisco out with him. It was just you and Will.

Naked and shivering, suddenly cold on the cool tile of the altar without the heat of passion to warm you

“Just one minute, I’ll get you dressed once I’m done.” He says quietly, kneeling before you with a wet wipe, gently dapping at your swollen folds. “Damn, really did a number on yuh, huh?”

You don’t know how to respond, so you don’t.

“Well, I think this is as good as it’s gonna get.” Leaning over, he presses a kiss to the top of your puffy parts and gets up, helping you down with a hand. He slides the dress back over you. William was gentle as he caressed your cheek. “You did so good for us, princess.” His hand moved to your belly. “You’re a good girl, and soon you’ll be full with our baby, I just know it.”

You stand there in shock, unable to exactly form a reaction. The lights were too bright, it was too warm. There were too many flowers and incense and candles and oils… to much. You shut down and Will finishes dressing you: shoes, flower crown minus the ropes of vine. He stuffs your underwear in his pocket with a smile. “My little dividend.”

Jonah was outside the room, laying down on a bench with his cowboy hat pulled over his face.

“Wake up, old man” Will spoke with a bite you weren’t used to.

He mumbled under the hat. “I’m awake, damn. Just resting.”

William nudged you towards where he was standing. “Watch her for the rest of the cocktail hour, then bring her in for the entrance.”

Jonah frowned. “She ain’t going to the cocktail hour with you?”

“What’s the point? She can’t drink. She might be pregnant.”

“It’s her wedding.”

Will rolled his eyes. “She’ll have the wedding shit, this is more of a… stag party. Bachelor party sort of thing.”

You didn't know what that meant. You weren’t sure you wanted to.

“Whatever. I’ll watch her.”

“Yeah. You will.” Williams harsh glare softened as he turned to you, holding your face with both hands. “I’ll see you in an hour, my beautiful bride.”

When he left, Jonah mumbled something and began walking you down the long hall. The place was huge, absolutely massive. The worship chapple and sanctuary were attached to the house, originally built as a pool house but refurbished with the establishment of Delta. Divine Mother wanted her home attached to the sanctuary so she could go whenever she wanted, no matter the weather, so a hall was built on. In addition to the several bedrooms, living rooms and so on, there was a ballroom. This is where you would go after. For now, it seemed, you weren’t needed…

You wanted to go still. You were their wife, you wanted to meet the other members of Delta, you wanted to dance, to laugh, to smile with them… but the day's events left you tired, left you hurting, left you… confused. Why had they all left you so fast, save for Will?

“You alright, honey?” Jonah’s voice barely registers in your ear.

You don’t have it in you to answer, simply staring straight ahead as your breathing picks up speed.

“Hey, darl’n, hey.” He stops outside the kitchen. “What’s go’n on, you hurt?”

How do you even explain it, the panic rising up in you, the fear. Why were you scared? You were married to the gods, there was no safer position to be in. You were safe, protected… so why did you feel so on edge? Why was your head hurting, your heart racing, and why did you feel so used?

You stopped breathing before you realized it.

“Hey!” Jonah shook you, but your eyes felt glassy and unfocused. He pulled you through the swinging kitchen doors.

“Dad, what-” You hear Iris say and vaguely register a third person in the room. Iris stops what she’s doing and rushes to you. “What’s happening? What did you do?”

“Nothing! I got her after the ceremony and this just started!”

You were gasping for breath, the light and airy feeling in your head making everything a little blurring. Still, you register hands on your shoulders, calling your name. “You need to breath. HEY! You hear me? BREATH.”

But you can’t. The panic, all-consuming panic clawed at your throat and tightened your chest. Then, a hard slap.

*SMACK*

Iris slapped you, causing your body to gasp in shock. You took the opportunity to breathe in as much as you could get, and once the oxygen settled in, so did the clarity.

Dizzy, you stumble back and nearly topple over, but Jonah catches you. Careful, he sets you down in a chair. “Easy now, darl’n, breath, breath…” his arms were strong and safe around you, but Iris grabs your shoulders.

“Listen to me.” You look up to watch her, brown eyes fiery on yours. She commanded the room. “You need. To get it. Together. Those men out there-” She pointed vaguely out the door. “Are dangerous.”

“Iris…” Jonah whispers, but when her head whips towards him in anger, he backs off.

“You shut it, you don’t know jack shit about surviving here, especially as a woman.” Back to you. “I don’t care how you feel, I know you’ll probably fall in love because you’ve been so brainwashed, but I need you to understand this.” She leans in. “You need to get your shit together. You need to clean up, you need to get out there and charm the fucking dick off of every single person in that room. The only way you get through this is if you want a very thin line. Submissive but not weak. Obedient but not permissive. Have boundaries but keep them loose and never, ever, try to resist sex. This is no time to be weak.”

Her words barely made sense to you.

They weren’t dangerous. They LOVED YOU. You were their WIFE. But still, part of her words range true; you were the daughter of a traitor, a man who partook in an uprising that caused the death of the Divine Mother, and the other high up members would have their eye on you. You needed to make sure there was no reason to doubt your love for your husbands, nor your adoration of Divine Mother.

“Fuck,” Iris mutters something to the third figure in the room about ‘nothing there’ then stands up. “Jonah, go back to the dressing room and get the make-up and hair products.” It was only then you realized you had been crying, make-up running off your face. “Rey, I need you to help me in here.”

He was tall, about as tall as Jonah but not quite the Millers height. “What do you need?” He began to tie his dark curls back. Iris directed him on finishing the desserts while she took out all the food from the oven for the main dish.

When Jonah came back, Iris set to work redoing your face, making it look as if you never cried, never had a single scared thought. She fixed you up nice and pretty, then left you on the chair to wait for your entrance.

After everything was placed on carts to take out, Iris departed, with Jonah following behind shortly and instructing the other man to stay with you. Iris insists she doesn’t need a guard dog, but Jonah say something about not wanting her alone with ‘those drunk bastards’ if he can help it. You’re suddenly nervous, unsure about being alone with a man other than your husbands or Jonah, but you don’t have a choice.

“They’re a stressful pair to watch aren’t they?” The dark haired man says, pulling up a chair beside you. He turns it around, straddling it before sitting backwards and leaning his arms on the backrest.

You don’t want to be rude, so you give a shy smile without meeting his eye. “Are they… um… is uh…” You realize you don’t know Jonah’s last name, and are unsure how to properly address him to others. You don’t want to seem too familiar when you are a married woman now. “Mr. Jonah, is he Iris’s father? I heard her call him dad.”

He chuckles a bit, and you turn to look at him. With a better view, and clearer vision, you are able to take in his features. He’s handsome, but in a almost boyish way -although you doubt he’s younger than 30. Dark curls are still pulled back, but you’d estimate his hair falls about shoulder length, maybe shorter, as chunks are falling out. Strong nose, brown skin, and bright, brown eyes. Strangely jovial compared to Iris and Jonah.

“Yeah, kinda rare that happens. She’s um… well, they’d had… well I guess it’s not my place to say, but they’ve had some ups and downs. But yeah, she’s his daughter.” He extends a hand. “Reyansh Saha.”

You give him your name. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Saha.”

He laughs again, but it doesn’t feel like he’s laughing at you; it’s too good natured for that. “Just Rey is fine.”

“Oh, no, no I shouldn’t.” You try to protest.

“Ammayi” (my girl) He says with a glint in his eye. “No one here will understand you if you call me Mr. Saha, I promise you. You can call me Reyansh if that’s easier. Or, well, you can call me Mr. Saha if you’re uncomfortable of course” His tone is good natured, but clearly trying to ease you. You feel like a skittish animal, and he’s a good samaritan trying to coax you to some food.

You give a little nod. “Okay, yeah Reyansh works.”

You felt like you may have another panic attack.

Pope was on your right, holding your arm with William beside him. On your left arm was Benjamin; Francisco was fidgeting beside him.

“Baby.” Ben whispers to Francisco. “You gotta calm down, you're shaking…”

You watch as Pope turns abruptly at the nickname, but says nothing. Benjamin grabs Francisco's hand, squeezing it three times and giving him a little peck on the cheek before letting go. Francisco smiled, just a little.

You were making your grand entrance as husbands and wife, to the whole of Delta, to stand out on the balcony as the masses gathered below. Jonah instructed you on procedure.

“This is the most dangerous point. I have the entire guard in the crowd, both noticeably armed and plain clothes, everyones been searched before entry and theres no reason to suspect a problem, but-” He turned to you. “Anything happens, a gun shot, something is thrown, a fight breaks out, I am grabbing you and we are going. Don’t argue, don’t worry about them-” He gestures to the men beside you. “My only concern will be to get you to safety. Your husbands are all armed and trained fighters, you are not. You have me, understood?”

There would be no need for concern. As you stepped out, leading your husbands in a v shape through the curtains, a stark hush fell upon the crowd. Thousands of people, thousands, here to see your husbands. Here to see them with their brand new bride, the mother of their child. You were humbled, truly, to be honored in such a way that the god’s dained you deserving. Cheers broke out, no doubt to the flag being raised- your bloodied sheets, signifying that you were indeed a virgin, and had been claimed in the name of the gods. The crowd was adoring; how beloved your husbands were to their people!

You focused your hearing not being all that far away, to try and pick out a word or two, and were surprised with the result.

“MADONNA! MADONNA! MADONNA”

They were cheering… for you.

The priestess stood off to the side, raising her arms to hush the crowd.

“Hail Madonna, full of grace, blessed are you amongst women!”

Then, she kneeled.

Behind her, beginning with the front and sending a wave through the back, the entire mass of people knelt, chanting “Hail! Hail! Hail!”

To both your left and right, all four of your husbands bowed to you.

You were the holy mother. You were Madonna. You would bring about the savior and peace on earth. You were divine.

The party went swimmingly. Your new found confidence, it turns out, made speaking to strangers easier. You shouldn’t fear them for being a traitor's child, you shouldn’t feel their judgeful gaze. They should worship you. Not the same as Pope, William, Benjamin and Francisco, and certainly not Divine Mother, but you were blessed.

You never were far from William, Pope, or Benjamin, most moments of the evening were spent with their arms around your waist or holding your hand; you belonged to them.

Pope had pulled you to the dance floor, tender grasp keeping you close as he guided you through the violin music.

“You are just… so beautiful” He whispered, clean shaven face up against your own.

“Thank you.”

“You do understand how stunning you are, don’t you? Most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

You tuck your head in his neck, smelling his aftershave; or was it the liquor on his breath? You weren’t sure.

“It’s like you were made for me…”

A gentle kiss. “I was. I was made for you, by Divine Mother’s majesty.”

You could feel him smile at that, hands slowly trailing down your back. “That’s right, made just for me…”

You nuzzle against him, signing contently. He loved you, you were so, so loved… “Made for my husbands”

His smile dropped. When his hands grazed over your ass, he gripped it tight, painful, making you yelp. The noise and crass motion was sure to attract attention, and you turn to look.

Pope grabs your face, forcing you to look at him. “Don’t look at them, look at me. I am their god, they are nothing compared to us, what we do is none of their business. I could bend you over right now and if I told them to ignore it, to go about the party, they will. You understand me?”

You nod.

His fingers pinch your cheeks. “Your body was made for me, and it’s mine. Understood?” You realize now your mistake. You had said your husbands. Plural. You must have hurt his feelings when bringing the others into it, even if you meant well. You note that special times between you and Pope should remain exclusive. Don’t make him jealous.

“Made just for you” You push past the force of his hold to kiss him on the lips. “I belong to you.”

Popes body language relaxed, his plush lips smiling again as his grip softens. He runs his thumb over your lips. “So beautiful for me…”

As you spoke like old friends to a woman you’d never met in your life, Benjamin slid up to you. “‘Scuse me, darl’n, but may I steal my wife away for a few moments?”

The woman bowed her head and excused herself while Benjamin pulled you away.

It wasn’t long before you were out the ballroom, down a hall and into a small linen closet, his hands all over you; frantic, needy, a fully hard cock pressing against your skirt. This was to be expected, and you understood your role. At any time, day or night, busy or not, you were to be available to be filled.

He yanked at your skirt. “Yuh know,” Benjamin said between short pants of breath. “It was my brothers insistence that your dress have blue… he said that- mmphh- it was symbolic or some bullshit, but I think he just wanted his color on you.”

You weren’t entirely sure if that was true, but you didn’t want to make a committal answer so you attempt to kiss back, unsure of the movements still. “Mmm, Benjamin…”

“Call me Benny, darl'n.” He rucks up your skirt, only to find no underwear. He stops, blue eyes looking at you with a steely ferocity. “Will take your panties after he cleaned you up.”

Lie, your first instinct told you. He’s dangerous,lie. But he wasn’t dangerous. He was your husband. “Yes” You wanted him to touch you again, you liked the way he explored your body.

His brows pursed together before growling, turning you around and bending you over a small folding table. “God damn him, and god damn Pope!” Benjamin grunted, making you scared as he flicked your dress up to your waste. “I should’ve had you first!” Ben spits onto your exposed asshole, shocking you a bit.

You try to turn around when you hear his belt being undone. “What-”

“Shhhh” He pushes you back down on the table, freeing his hard cock. You jump when he slides a finger into your tight ring of muscle. It doesn’t feel bad, but not necessarily good, either. He begins to pump, then adds a second finger and you gasp at the intrusion. “Making me fuck’n wait till last-” You hear him spit on his free hand, beginning to jerk himself off as he begins to scissor you open.

“Ben!”

“Relax, baby, I’m not Pope, I ain’t tryna tear you open, you’ve bleed enough for one day.” You swear you hear him chuckle. What is he doing? You were confused, but also beginning to sink into the feeling of him. “They always do this to me, they always make me wait, and wait and wait just because Frank’s Pope’s favorite and Will’s ugh, Will’s older- goddamn” He stops, lining up the tip of his cock to your asshole and spitting a few more times. He was going to fuck you there?! Ben folds over, encasing your body in his warmth as he whispers in your ear. “Not this time, your ass is mine.” With that, he thrust into you, splitting your hole open as you cried out.

He laughs. “Lot louder than when Pope took you huh?”

Jonah found William getting a glass of wine and sipping it while watching over the party.. “I gotta talk to you.”

William doesn’t even turn to look. “Fuck off, Hanson.”

Will did not like Jonah, he knew. Their history prevented the same rapport that he had with Santiago, but never the less, he know Will was the one for this request.

“It’s about your precious Madonna.”

With that, Will turned.

Benny was insatiable, thrusting into you wildly and grunting with every movement. “So- fucking-tight-god!” He shouts and it takes everything in you not to cry… but that feeling was bubbling up again, despite the discomfort, but that discomfort was slowly slipping into something else.

The slightest moan escapes.

It seems then almost that Ben reminds you’re here, that he’s not fucking a hole in a wall and chuckles. “Oh, you like this, pretty girl? I can make it better, so much better.” He wraps a strong arm around you, toying with that sensitive spot that William was playing with earlier illiciating a much louder moan from your lips.

“God baby, thats it… gonna cum like this, darl’n? Gonna cum with a cock up your ass like the dirty girl I know you are? Yeah, yeah sure sounds like it…” He replies after your sounds of pleasure grow. “Under all this white, underneath that good girl act and that sweet little face, I knew, I just fucking KNEW your little virgin cunt was begging to get fucked, desperate for cock, huh?” His hips begin to falter, growing more sloppy. “Well now you got 4 cocks desperate to fill you up, to put our baby inside you first, fuck, you gonna be able to handle all that?

You can’t even reply, a mess of moans under his body.

He grabs your hair, yanking you up to look at him. “ANSWER ME!”

“YES!” You scream, so close to spilling over but not quite there, needy and whimpering for him. “I can take it! I want it! I want you all, all the time!”

“I know, darl’n girl, I know, f-fuck, ugghh fuck!”

Pulling out of your ass, you almost whine for him, whine for more, but he thrusts it into your pussy last minute. The intrusion sends you over, clamping down hard on him as he spills into you. “Yeaahh, that’s it, thats- oh my god, perfect little pussy- fuck!” When he finishes inside you, his warmth is all over you again, staying there for a moment with his cock plugged inside you. “Gotta make sure to cum inside your little pussy every time, no matter how good your ass or mouth feel. Can’t waste a drop.”

He caressing your arm as his body language softens, nuzzling his face into your hair. “So good, pretty girl. So fucking perfect.”

“She needs someone looking after her.” Jonah insists. “She’s just a kid.”

Will is dismissive, but behind his eyes hide curiosity. “That’s what you and security are for.”

Jonah signs. “Okay, listen, I’ll be honest here.”

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

“You ain’t fond of me, that’s a given. I get it. But let’s be clear.” Jonah drops his voice low. “Frank’s been mentally checked out all day. He don’t want nothing to do with this. Ben’s a -”

“Watch it.”

Jonah rephrased his next words. “He’s not gentle. He’s not careful, and when he’s high he flat out dangerous, and he buys into this whole delusion and so does Santiago. Santiago is worse, he’s delusional and can flip like a fucking switch. She needs someone to help her navigate them. That needs to be you.”

Will didn’t say anything, but from the way his brows were furrowed, Jonah new he planted a seed.

“Look, here she comes with Ben, she’s fucking stumbling, Will. Go take care of your wife.”

It hurt.

It was hard to walk like this, but Ben’s arms were tight around you. You felt strangely safe like this, like he was going to be there from now on.

“What the hell did you do to her, Ben?”

“Relaaaaax” Ben waved off his brother. “She’s fine.”

Will didn’t buy it.

“Pope got her pussy, I got her ass.” He shrugged.

Disgust spread across his features. “You did anal? With no lube? Jesus Ben!”

“RELAX!” Ben raised his hands in defense.

Will hushed him. “That’s enough for tonight, I’m taking you to bed.”

And that was that. Will’s arm replaced Ben’s and quickly guided you out the door again. Once out of sight, Will scooped you right out. “Ain’t having you walk like that, babygirl. ‘Slright, just rest.” And rest you did, clinging to him and laying your head on his firm chest. You felt like you were almost asleep when he laid you on the bed.

Like how he cared for you before, he cared again, undressing you with a gentle strength.

“Lay down, lemme make sure your okay.” The worry in his voice made your heart sing.

“I’m alright, I promise.” You whisper, but spread your legs anyway.

He tsks his tongue. “Poor little girl… you’re alright, but I know it must hurt, doesn’t it?”

You swallow thickly, nervous with his face so close to your core. “Um… it’s a little sore, I guess…”

“I bet… but it wasn’t all bad, was it?”

“N-no, it wasn’t…”

“I can see that…” A thick finger swipes up your slit. “Got all wet, didn’t you? You sure are easy to work up…”

You shutter at the touch, a little achy but still desiring him. How could you not? How could you not want him when he spoke to you so low, so careful? When carried you and cleaned you and dressed you… he was perfect, fucking perfect.

“Poor little girl…” William spoke in a deeper tone, planting a kiss to your clit and making you whimper. “Gotta be at the beck and call for four men… that can’t be easy, but you’ve been taking it so well…” His fingers move up and down your folds, spreading your cum and the new slick trickling down.

“It’s, mmmm it’s my honor to be found worthy…” You sit up on your elbows, curious as to his actions.

“And worthy you are, Madonna.” His lips glazed over your flesh. “Bless are you, among women” His hand on your stomach. “and blessed is the fruit of your womb.” You watch William, knelt before you, hovering with his mouth open above your waiting mound.

You whisper, “Please”

He whispers equally soft. “As you wish.”

When William latched his mouth onto you, it’s unlike anything you’ve felt before, although you can’t say you’ve felt much. His mouth is hot, wet, messy as he licks you, tongue and lips moving in tandem, like a well practiced team with the sole purpose of reducing you to a whimpering mess.

“W-Will, oh that… oh my god-”

But he didn’t stop, latching his tongue to your clit as his fingers entered you, and despite the overstimulation of the day, compared to the large phalluses that had breached your core, his fingers merely provided pleasurable stimulation. His free-hand remained busy as well, taking your private moment to explore the rest of your body. You didn’t understand what pleasure he could find in your thighs, your stomach, or playing with your fingers, but you relished in his closeness, the emotional and physical and sexual intimacy compared to the coldness of the deflowering.

But it had to happen this way, you thought as your hips bucked; William had begun swirling his tongue around your clit, causing a surge in pleasure. This afternoon was a ritual; systematic, calculated, precise. There was no room for intimacy, for love. But you’d seen it now. You’d seen it in the way Pope danced with you, in the way Ben caressed you after sex and praised you, the way Will touched you now… the only thing missing was Frankie.

It wasn’t long before Will had to gushing on his face, crying out his name in a hedonistic moan, a orgasm so blinding that the revelation that you existed to pleasure and be pleasured by these men until you were swollen with child seemed like a gift of godhood itself.

He pulled three more out of you before he was satisfied, making come on his face and fingers thrice before your final orgasm was only singled by an tired “Mmmmmmmph” and your contracting walls. Finally, he pulls back. You can’t see him, eyes too tired they won’t open, but you imagine his beard is glistening with the way he soaks you when he kisses you cheek.

When you’re situated in bed, where you can only assume is your room, you ask Will to stay, ask him to hold you while you fall asleep. He obliges.

You feel dwarfed in his grasp his body so large it makes you feel small, but also secure. You don’t have to be brave, you don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to think or to worry. Everything would be taken care of for you, you’d give birth to the savior and how many other children, and redeem your family name from your fathers betrayal. You would find redemption in this house, right alongside love, family, and maybe even friendship for the first time since you were twelve…

Everything was falling into place.

So why didn’t it seem like Francisco loved you?

Knock knock.

“Honey?”

Knock knock knock

“Honey you in there?”

Jonah.

“One moment!”

You open your groggy eyes and take a look around the room, finding a luxurious, long, white robe on the dresser. You put it on, covering your nakedness, and timidly open the door.

“Yes?” Jonah stood before you, gun slung on his hip as usual.

He looks sympathetic. “Sorry to wake you, but Santiago wants to see you, I’m here to escort you.”

Hearing someone refer to Pope as his given name is jarring, but something about Jonah is just… very different. He seemed so serious when talking to you about safety, about making sure only his most trustworthy men watched you and how determined he seemed at the balcony… but it seemed he took everything else so unserious to him.

You didn’t like that he referred to your husband by his name, it was much too informal, but you cared about Jonah, so you don’t mention it.

After dressing, Jonah takes you down stairs. You’re thankful for him, the house is too big for you to know your way yet.

“How you feeling?”

“About what?” You ask genuinely.

Jonah turns to you, a curious look on his face. “About… everything. Yesterday was a big day. A lot happened.”

Of course a lot happened. You were still leaking their cum. “Nothing that Divine Mother didn’t intend.” You say as if its obvious.

He sighs. “Right.”

Pope was waiting outside the door of the intended room. His smile grew when he saw you, walking over to place a hand on your cheek and kiss you. “Good morning, my beautiful wife.”

Wife… something so magical about that word.

Pope thanks Jonah and dismisses him, turning you to the doorway and opening it. “I have a surprise for you, bebita.”

When the door opens, you gasp as you’re led inside. Canvases fill the room as did papers, paints, pencils…

“How… how did you know…” You whisper in awe, your heart swelling at the gesture. He loved you, he really loved you and wanted you to be happy here. You were so lucky, so lucky to be adored like this, to be adored by him especially. Pope had worked his way deep into your heart in a matter of days. He was everything to you now, he was your world. You belonged to him, every single inch of your heart, your body, your mind, your faith was him.

“I’m the god of love, I know what mi amada needs… I’ll always know.” He stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your body, the body that belongs to him, and kisses your neck. “I can’t wait to see what you paint, Madonna…”

***************

PLEASE TELL ME UR THOUGHTS I THRIVE ON PRAISE

I feel like im doing ass at writing Ben here. I my normal fics on my main he's a consent king and so so so so soft so this is strange to me. BUT he can be tender and loving, dont you worry

SO, THE GENERAL CONCENSOUS IS YOU ALL WANNA FUCK JONAH. Lmfao, horny sluts. HE'S OUR FATHER FIGURE. Imagine having daddy issues. COULDNT BE ME (this is a joke lol)

But! Thoughts on Iris, and our new boy, Reyansh?

Not a super eventful chapter and i felt like Madonna have said like 10 words this whole fic but this has been the set up, now we can move forward! If you read TWW, LO was practically silent for the first few chapters.

Now they ceremony is done and she's married and already v attached and brainwashed.

How to keep up with the story!

Comment on this masterlist that you want to be tagged and I'll tag you in updates (If you ask to be tagged, I ask you at least like the fic. Likes dont do anything to spread the work, but it at least lets me know you're still reading.)

Follow @romana-updates and/turn on notifications

Follow the tag Rooms on fire

@hon3yboy @winniethewife @femmeanonymelives @yorksgirl @pockcock @neverwheremoonchild @casa-boiardi @meveispunk @survivingandenduring @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @obscurexsorrows @hellfire-state-of-mind @christinamadsen @pimosworld @princessanglophile @rubyfruitjungle @simple-lovebot @missdictatorme @campingwiththecharmings @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @javier-penas-wifexx420 @stefani-topaz @alwaysmicado@mjnomaryjane @incorrectclassicbookquotes @axshadows @ghostslillady @movievillainess721 @justagalwhowrites @charethcutestory02 @pixielou5 @gogh-with-the-flow @justafandomgvrl @katw474 @loveable-liar @arrozconpepitoria @minigirl87 @runa-falls @pedge-page @angel-of-the-moons @beefrobeefcal @pixielou5 @miraclesabound @oliveksmoked @mjnomaryjane @bubble-pop-eclectic @corazondebeskar-reads @charethcutestory02 @pedroshotwifey

If I forgot someone or you'd like to be added/removed LMK!

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holleighgram · 10 months

Text

Hold onto your keyboards, cause I'm about to get ✨️controversial ✨️

I'd like to preface this by saying all interpretations/ headcanons/ readings/ etc. Are valid and I'm in no way discouraging anyone to change their ways.

I watched (and enjoyed) Baloney's "The Truth About Kingdom Hearts!" And I absolutely adored their take on the series, but one line stuck out to me that I really want to expand on because I don't see it being talked about as often as it should.

Kairi doesn't like Riku.

And I think this is a very RICH and IMPORTANT aspect of the Destiny Trio dynamic. It adds to the complexity of these characters, but especially Kairi.

(Another shout out to @violethowler and their INCREDIBLE Constructing Kingdoms series. The video on"The Girl Who Never Grew Up" made me like and understand Kairi so much more. Highly recommend checking it out.)

Kairi doesn't like Riku, and with some pretty valid reasons, but I'll get to that after I compile all the evidence towards this:

In KH:

Kairi likes her life the way it is. She doesn't desire change, but Riku wants nothing but change. He wants to grow up and move on and see the outside world.

And because Sora looks up to him, Sora has jumped on the bandwagon too. Kairi is going along because Sora is. But it is clear that for Kairi, change =/= good. So what does she say?

"You know, Riku's changed."

Sora asks her how, and she kinda bites her tongue. Clearly she had opinions, but doesn't want to badmouth Soras best friend to him. Later she says, "Sora, don't ever change."

Later, after everything, when Kairi is restored and in Travers Town, she doubts that Riku can be saved, despite the fact that she LITERALLY saved Sora from being a heartless. She almost seems like she's trying to convince Sora not to go, or to at least let her come with-- not to save Riku but because she wants to be there with Sora.

At the end of the game, she obviously return to destiny islands and draws the paopu.

During Chain of Memories, everyone forgets about Sora, but the memories of Riku stay intact. For a year. Kairi is well aware that her "friend" is missing. In fact, last she knew of him, he was still taken by Ansem and presumably dead or at least suffering. She doesn't know.

She knows she's a Princess of Heart and has powers thay can help (as she restored Sora after being a heartless). But the most we get is "he's far away, but I know we'll see him again." Like, do you?

I mean, SELPHIE is the one that says "I sure miss him." That's way more than we EVER get from Kairi.

So for a YEAR, she doesn't spare Riku a single thought. But the SECOND she remembers Sora, she is willing to do anything to see him again.

Here's a little bit of speculation for WHY she doesn't like Riku:

1) Perhaps when she first met them as kids, he reminder her of Xehenort, who kidnapped her and yeeted her into space.

2) Kairi wanted to be best friends with SORA, but not Riku. She's afraid that Sora will follow Riku to the outside worlds (where she doesn't want to go) and leave her behind. If it wasn't for Riku, Sora wouldn't want to leave at all.

3) He (as far as we know) opened the door and damned their home into Darkness. That's probably a point of contention for her. Even though Sora so forgiving.

4) He hurt Sora in KH1, but Sora is still loyal to him. She probably sees that as him taking advantage of Sora-- the person she cares most about.

5) He's the reason Sora never came home. If it wasn't for him, they would have gone home at the end of KH1 together.

I can't say for sure how Riku feels about Kairi. He DID drag her corpse around and give into the darkness to save her, but that can be interpreted as solely wanting to "beat " Sora at being the hero. Even still, we get moment in COM where he reflects on missing her. We even see Namine come to his rescue in her form. I definitely feel like there is less animosity there, but who knows.

That's all.

Roast me, Kairi stans, but I love the depth this reading gives to the story and the potential for arcs and character growth for her and she is forced to face who she is without Sora.

#kingdom hearts #riku kh #riku #kh riku #sora kh #soriku #kh #kh meta #kairi kh #kairi #kh kairi #kairi kingdom hearts #character study #destiny trio #might not be an actual trio

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pigtailedgirl · 1 month

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Now I'm curious how you got into due south originally, if you feel like explaining :)

Sure! It's nothing too exciting I guess, but my Dueser origins begin as a wee girl. I know my family must have vaguely watched it because I remember the image of All The Queen's Horses mountie chase pre-dates my series watch beginnings. I know my grandma later confessed as I had it on tv one summer that she watched it. Cause cute Benton Fraser lol.

But real seeing and watch began with a random catch of Free Willie one morning on the Showcase Network. Thank you kindly Showcase.

Yeah, I caught it one morning and stayed to watch because I think I vaguely recognized it, and just fell in love with it's charm and wit and Fraser and Ray. It was the first episode so great timing too. And they had it schedule set to air one episode in the morning, the same at night, five days a week. Perfect for catching up.

Promos were hilarious too. I should see if any are online.

Oh, and it was original edit, so it had extra scenes like the different Victoria's Secret ones.

So I caught up on the series quick. Also, what I think really cemented my season 1 and 2 love was they played that set for months at least before switching to the 3/4 season. That highlighted the difference in tone to my POV too I think, and it's why I kinda view them apart still.

But I really got to experience show first this way.

I think I found fandom when starting Livejournal same time the show hit resurgence there. And I happily caught the tail end of Yahoo Groups so got to back read fan stuff there. Missed most of Ray Wars. Yay. There was the 2000's snippets, but everyone was so fun at content creation and love, that was the best take-aways. It made for a great time. I participated in a watch-along! A big highlight of fannishness for me! That's when I saw The Pilot. Or my fav was squeeing about Pizza and Promises.

Just, some of the many wonderful fans like Nina_DS and movies_michelle and duenorthlaurie for episode discussion, and Sdwolfpup, Belmanoir, Aingeal8C as content creators, or Scotchsour, and Lozenger8 who made some banging icons....Truly, there were so many wonderful people, I couldn't even name them all. Due South provided so many wonderful glimpses of other fans to share with. LJ friends were so lovely.

I fell out in LJ world strangely cause I felt kinda outside the fandom wave as it crested I think, not shipping F/K or really loving those seasons as much. And just personally felt not into fannishness as whole after awhile. It's a me thing across everything, not just Due South. I took an internet break for a long time. I still watched the series on tv, with Showcase and TV Tropolis and DejaView lol, and by then DVD often. Along with new TV of course, although not much cause Tumblr me is not too different from old LJ me. Still kept an eye of forums, sometimes, or such, cause I love discussion as you can see by my screeds versus tech/creative skills, but not actively or with comment.

I return cause, I don't know, seeing people express love for the series again is hitting a happy place of nostaglia I think. I had a rough bout with real-life and comfort fannish stuff is reminding life was full of small good moments. The joy of the endearing nature of the show and the spirit of love for it in the fandom is proof of stuff enduring. Joy that it's still on rebranded Showcase here on the weekends lol, even if you never know which season.

And a new vidder made a wonderful F/V fanvid that, timing again as I hit Tumblr, I stumbled into, and just had me crying when I watched at the beauty and love I remembered in the pair. It spoke to my love of them so hard I think it jolted me into thinking hell yea that love deserves happy expression, I can do it too maybe. Sadly they took it down, but yeah, that was the spark, and that's me fannish story.

#due south #f/v #i guess #very long about lol #would love to hear others if willing

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drconstellation · 5 months

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Gabriel as a Shoulder Angel: S2 Study

Part 2: Ep.3 I Know Where I'm Going and Ep.5 The Ball

So far in this series we've covered S1 and the Job minisode in S2E2, where the classic Supreme Archangel Gabriel stands on the left-hand side of the archangels as their collective shoulder-demon. As he arrived at the bookshop at the beginning of S2 we see that we are getting a parallel to the opening of S1, with Gabriel becoming a mirror and a foil to Crowley.

Episode 3: I Know Where I'm Going

We open with a content and safe ex-archangel clad in archangel tartan (with Aziraphale's teal underneath,) observing the world below as it wakes up.

Once he's dressed and downstairs at work, we get a centralized look at his hands holding a significant book. It's from the movie "A Matter of Life or Death," but you see it in the opening credit under it's US title release "Stairway to Heaven." The best meta I've seen describing the movie is here by @simonezitrone79

Crowley is looking after Jim in the bookshop while Aziraphale has gone to Edinburgh at this point. He stays on the demonic left, and Jim on the angelic right while they have a discussion about gravity, and things staying where you put them - or not. The book and it's movie connection is relevant to this discussion. It alludes to returning an item to its rightful place. But how do you decide where that rightful place should be? Is it natural for angels to go upwards, and demons downwards? Do only flies have the ability to defy the laws of the universe set unchallenged since the beginning of time? They all have wings...

Jim is still a puzzled and doubtful angel as Crowley describes his "Operation Lovebirds" plan. It sounds like there is some demonic mischief afoot!

After the failure of the rainstorm to get Maggie and Nina together, Crowley turns to find Jim sitting in a chair - back on the left.

Crowley's comment about a tempest triggers another possession of Jim, and an ominous prophetic warning of storms to come.

Just as Jim snaps out of this, Crowley must rush outside to confront Shax. He decides he won't play her games, and retreats back inside the bookshop, where Shax can't follow. He suggests she might spot an archangel, and the camera focus slides from Crowley on the left to Jim on his angelic right, suggesting to us they are one and the same.

But once Shax is gone, the real demon emerges to the suggested trouble-making demon, and threatens Jim with something awful if anything happens to Aziraphale.

We don't see Jim during Episode 4, so on to the next one!

Episode 5: The Ball

At Aziraphale's suggestion, Crowley comes to talk to Gabriel, and finds him playing with a lamp light switch upstairs in the bookshop.

Crowley enters the room blocked on the angelic right side at the start of the conversation, while Jim is demonized on the left.

Crowley has often doubted that Gabriel has really lost him memory, and is just pretending to be vague and naive, so confronts him with his crimes against Aziraphale in Crowley's eyes. Jim is on the left-side while this occurs.

But as he watches Jim begin to climb out the window, Crowley becomes the demon again. This is partly due the Temptation that is occurring here - the Second Temptation of Jesus in the wilderness, leading up to his entry into Jerusalem, as Gabriel and Crowley also share the roles of Jesus in the underlying story line of the The Passion that is playing out throughout S2.

Crowley stops him from falling, again, and Jim returns to the angel-side for the moment, while Crowley questions him further.

"Where is your memory, then?" he asks? "Everywhere."

Crowley eventually gives up, but seems to understand somewhat, and offers Jim a hot chocolate. Jim is now back in the center of the camera, in a neutral position.

Its worth speaking a bit more about the hot chocolate at this point, as Jim is the only one who really drinks it during S2. And both Aziraphale and Crowley offering it is significant, especially in light of the coffee shop name. I've talked about it a couple of times, and when I look back on what I've said it is usually tinged with what ever was the topic being discussed at the time. But the guts of what I said remain the same. Crowley is essentially making an apology here to Jim for what he just did, but on another level the hot chocolate represents a choice that the others in S2 don't get.

Most of us get the two options, coffee, or death. But Jim has been given a third option, and he has grabbed it enthusiastically with both hands. Aziraphale has handed it to him in spades, even! That much will take a long time to get through, wouldn't it. It's a big generous gift, that Aziraphale understands well. Gabriel came to Aziraphale because he instinctively knew Aziraphale understood what he needed. Mr 'six-shots-of-espresso' loves his freedom, or liberty, and his life here on Earth. The humans who line up for their dose of Heaven every day do, too. Death is the option-that-is-not-an-option. It's duty [and obligation.] It's the tax we all have to pay for living. So the Metatron turns up and offers Aziraphale a coffee to one who doesn't drink coffee. Essentially the Metatrash offers a choice that isn't a choice. Aziraphale's only choice is to do his duty at this point, or else...well, we aren't shown it, but it seems the 'else' was too terrible to contemplate. (Or, as some people alternatively see it, the Metatron kept pushing until he was offered a carrot he couldn't refuse.) But Jim, he's been given the option that Aziraphale and Crowley really want, but can't quite have at this point. Freedom to love as they want, and openly in front of all Heaven, Hell and Humanity. They understand. They don't judge Jimbriel for this, they actually encourage it - they both make it happen right under [Heaven and Hell's] noses in the end! The irony of it! They give their arch-enemy the gift that they dream of. ...the sweet hot chocolate is Gabriel's special option, facilitated by Aziraphale and Crowley. He doesn't have to drink what the plebs drink, the bitter devotional duty to Heaven [or Hell.]

Not long after, the Eldritch Ball starts, and we see Jim in his Gabriel-blue Liberace suit. In religious iconography Gabriel is associated with the right-hand side of Jesus, and when he's positioned there he wears blue. So it was only appropriate that Aziraphale dress him in that colour (plus it reflects the divine status of Heaven that he knows Gabriel to originate from.) Jim starts on the left-side...

but soon finds himself center-stage again! Oh, dear, what an attention seeker. You're supposed to be in hiding, you silly angel!

Look at the joy on his face! He's all right-hand side angel there.

Then Shax and her Legion of the Damned break up the party. He offers to go outside and give himself up to save everyone. Wow - doesn't he do it in style, taking center stage yet again.

This is actually a deliberate pose, made to reference Jesus as he preaches to the masses, even though it looks like he's saying "here I am, come get me." Arms outstretched, his two lower fingers are also curled in on each side, much like Jesus is often pictured as well.

Hey, Shax, it's me you want! Jim, short for James, but also Gabriel.

Oh, you don't know the mistake you are making, Shax...

So he returns inside, still taking center stage - in between Aziraphale on the demonic left, and Crowley on the angelic right, to report what happened outside.

Gabriel exits, angelic stage right, defeated, while Crowley confronts Shax.

The last we see of Jim in Ep.5 is in the background, over Aziraphale's left shoulder, so he's returned back to being a sinister-sided angel again, in his assistant book seller garb.

But the night isn't finished yet, there is still much more to come!

This meta is part of a series on Gabriel

Gabriel as a Shoulder Angel: S1 Study

S2 Study Part 1: Ep.1 The Arrival and Ep. 2 The Clue

S2 Study Part 3: Ep.6 Every Day

First Order Archangels Part 1: Maybe You'll See An Archangel

First Order Archangels Part 2: Foils of War

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #gabriel #crowley #aziraphale #shax #shoulder angel #the eldritch ball

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himboskywalker · 4 months

Note

Thank you so much for these many recommendations, i will definitely read some of them. I finally ordered lord of the rings, always wanted to do it but I finally did it.

I would love a separate rec list of less new books and overall classics. If you have the time of course. I always have a hard time finding new books for myself or to gift to other people.

Sure! And I'm ecstatic to hear you bought lotr! Another one to be welcomed into my fold! This list is decidedly less organized, but here's a list of more classic/ older works I always recommend or gift to people.

Anything written by our beloved Neil Gaiman. He's most well known, especially in this sphere, for "Good Omens" cowritten by Terry Pratchett, and rightfully so. If you've never read anything by either author, it is absolutely worth the hype, and even if you've watched the tv show, it is so incredibly funny and wonderful. "American Gods" is also phenomenal and very well known from its tv show now, but my personal favorite of Gaiman's is "Anansi Boys." No one does urban fantasy like him, and his works will always be the gold standard for me for this genre.

The Discworld series by Terry Pratchett. There's 41 books in the series so it's a mighty undertaking, I myself haven't gotten through all of them yet, I think I have about ten books left. They are so wonderfully funny and philosophical and witty. I don't recommend reading the books in the order Pratchett wrote them, rather there are collections in the series you'll want to read in order. The Death collection and City Watch books are my favorites but there are many more than that you may like better.

"The Princess Bride" by William Goldman. This is one of my favorite books of all time and while the movie certainly gets the vibe, it's a whole different animal. It's just so incredibly funny and fun and smartly written, and I've given it to many family and friends for Christmas and birthday presents.

"The Lies of Locke Lamora" by Scott Lynch. This is commonly regarded as a fantasy genre must and I often vehemently disagree with what's considered a "classic" but I have to side with the powers that be in the lit community on this one. It's just damn well written and character driven in the exact kind of way I love in stories. If you start reading it and think "oh look morally gray thief characters doing a heist" just remember, Lynch published it in '06 and pretty much wrote the template for everyone who has copied him since.

Anything by Ursula Le Guin although I read the "Earthsea" series first and would recommend starting there as well. She just really is that bitch, it doesn't get better written or more observant of life than her. Outside of Tolkien I don't know if there's anyone I admire more as an author than Le Guin. Her prose are not only stunningly gorgeous, but line after line after line hits like a sucker punch to the side of the head for how she makes you see life and yourself in new ways. “Only in silence the word, only in dark the light, only in dying life: bright the hawk's flight on the empty sky.”

The Redwall series by Brian Jacques! I love them so dearly, they're fun and beautifully written and full of adventuring that only forest animals with swords are capable of. I do recommend reading them in order, or at least the original "Redwall" before you dive into the rest of the series, but "Taggerung" is my favorite.

This is a more divisive rec nowadays but Kurt Vonnegut. If you read "Slaughterhouse Five" in school and hated it I don't blame you, it's not my favorite of his and not what I urge people to look to if they want to fall in love with him like I did when I was a teenager. My favorite Vonnegut is "Sirens of Titan" and "Breakfast of Champions." Do look at content warnings for "Sirens of Titan" and I've seen a lot of vitriolic reviews of the book in recent years by younger readers, but I absolutely think it's worth the read and the shining glorious example of what I mean when I say protagonists aren't meant to be liked or morally right.

And speaking of squicky divisive recs! May I tell you about our lord and savior of "oh god I don't know if I can get through this" Margaret Atwood? Most people know her for "Handmaid's Tale" but I first read "Oryx and Crake." Seriously, read the content warnings, but Atwood is known for writing the best of speculative sci-fi for a reason.

Anything by Octavia Butler. My intro to her was through "Bloodchild" which I highly recommend, and I think is the perfect introduction to her brand of unnerving brilliance. She is most well known for "Kindred" and rightfully so.

"Perfume" The Story of a Murderer" by Patrick Suskind. It's weird, by god it's weird, and it's one of my absolute favorite "classic lit" novels. In 18th century France a weird little freak of a guy with a super sense of smell winds up murdering a bunch of people to make perfume. It's fantastic and the quintessential, I will not morally justify this, but boy am I enjoying reading about this little creep.

"Trainspotting" by Irvine Welsh. I also love "Filth" and "Porno" by him. I think Welsh is brilliant at characterization, especially when most of his characters are morally bankrupt and terrible. But what he does best is make you feel for these characters who have often put themselves in these terrible positions. They're just people, and life is shitty, and I don't think anyone writes that better than Welsh.

"The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien. O'Brien made a career of writing fictionalized recounts of his time in Vietnam. I love everything he's written, he is one of my favorite modern lit authors, but "The Things They Carried" is his best known work and what I first read of his. It's brilliant and beautiful and sad, and it was the first time I ever had to put a book down and read in chunks because it affected me so emotionally.

Cormac McCarthy, any and everything he has ever written. He's best known for "The Road" of course, and it's certainly worth the read but "Blood Meridian" is my absolute favorite of his. His stuff is brutal and wry and full of the dry irony that only the bleakness of reality offers, and by god is it well written.

And finally I'll leave you with a single nonfiction recommendation. I try to keep those minimal when I know that's not usually what people are looking for when they ask for reading recs. But since I'm giving a list of books I have often gifted, I can't NOT include this one. "Man's Search for Meaning" by Victor Frankl. I read this at 18 and it had a profound impact on how I think and view life. Any time someone I love has gone through a difficult time I've bought them their own copy.“For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth - that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.”

#reading list #book recs #reading recommendations #anons

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blackautmedia · 7 months

Text

The Deku Scrubs and Racism in Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Content Warning: Depiction of Racism, mention of cannibalism

I briefly touched on this in my Zelda video, but I wanna talk about the way the Deku in Majora's Mask are portrayed.

Zelda utilizes racial coding to depict nearly every group/race in the series. Racial coding if you're not aware is you apply traits associated with our real-world understanding of race, gender, disability and so on to non-human characters. It's neither inherently good nor bad to do and can enrich a story if used consciously and carefully.

It can also be done unintentionally without a storyteller realizing the implications often because they're repeating elements from stories they enjoy without catching these details.

It can also just be used maliciously in making harmful commentary using racial coding as a way to bypass any restrictions or legal issues that would come up in showing something directly. Much like queer coding, it also offers a form of plausible deniability.

A lot of cartoon characters wear gloves for instance because they were designed to embody minstrel caricatures popularized as a way to perpetuate Anti-Blackness. The practice of minstrelsy has never really died out, it's only changed and evolved with time.

Legend of Zelda uses that same coding in its storytelling. The Deku are plant people with a great deal of plant clothing and architecture. Their color also gives them a dark brown appearance which is common with a lot of the savage islander tropes used here.

They're also portrayed as prone to violence and anger, impatient and impulsive in how they wrongfully assume this monkey harmed their princess, and most notably they utilize the trope of boiling their victims alive as a scene of shock for the white explorer:

During the first section in the Southern Swamp, you can't even access the Deku palace as they don't welcome any outsiders except those the same race as them, not realizing that Link is a white boy with magic powers and has taken the form of their bodies (which is a thing all on its own in this context.)

Even then they don't welcome outsiders of any kind but only allow Deku Link entrance to witness a spectacle at a barbaric showing of publicly executing a monkey they believe has kidnapped the princess.

This is a trope commonly used toward several groups of people, many of them often lumped together as vaguely "brown" people, but you see it done with a lot of Native characters, Black people, Pacific Islanders, Asian folks, and many groups in South America. There's real-life overlap of these people--Afro-Indigenous and Latin Indigenous people exist for example--but the point in the eyes of a white gaze is to depict these as some evil and dangerous other to the horror of the white protagonist.

It conflates a lot with race, nationality, and ethnicity and which specific demographic of people will vary, but it's often done by portraying dark-skinned people of some kind in contrast to the civilized, rational white protagonist.

A lot of times this often goes hand in hand with the portrayal of cannibalism and blood rituals which isn't shown in Zelda, but to give an example of what this trope looks like, compare the visuals in Majora's Mask to the 1932 Mickey Mouse episode Trader Mickey:

Note: (you can watch the entire episode here if you'd like.)

There's an entire genre of film that utilizes the savage brown person in with the white explorer protagonist that go into this idea of framing whatever group of people it is weird, uncivilized, dangerous, and thoughtlessly impulsive often utilizing white fears of the "other" to portray them as beings of horror.

Often these films had usually one "good" brown person and often would have a lone woman character, usually the tribe leader's daughter who was objectified for the protagonist and audience and was usually portrayed as the only civilized or "good" ones, often exoticized and hypersexualized. If she wasn't, she was often abused into submission for the white character.

Also adding to this is the...everything about the Woodfall temple and the boss, Odolwa leaning into the same tropes.

I bring this up mostly as a way to provide an educational resource for other Zelda fans so we have a better frame of knowledge to not reproduce these narratives in fanart, fanfics, and so on. Majora's Mask is my favorite Zelda game! But that doesn't mean it's above critique especially in how it utilizes racial coding.

I'm deliberately avoiding showing more graphic imagery of film examples to make this as not triggering as possible, but cannibalism is a common element in these portrayals as well.

This kind of imagery pops up in quite a few Nintendo games and outside the gaming sphere as well. Off the top of my head, there's Kirby Superstar with Wham Bam Rock as portrayed in the SNES version and the Spear guys from the Mario brothers series.

Here's the Zelda Gerudo video if you haven't seen it before.

youtube

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bellshazes · 2 years

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so hypothetically speaking, if i were to take on the 10 year backlog of ethubs content….. where would i even start?? its so much content that it’s totally overwhelming to me, and you seem like the only person on the planet to have sifted thru all of it, so i need ur wisdom 😭

trust me I have not and I know there are others (hi rio) but imo the key is to just. follow your heart. they are constantly bringing up old stuff and each other anyway so you will find new shiny things to go check out if you start anywhere. like, the whole reason I watched UHCs for the first time is bc of etho lying to say bdubs voted him out (not a UHC mechanic) and called him a son of a sweetheart in his LP. that said, I do have a masterpost of my fave bdubs mindcrack episodes which frankly is a lot of etho + bdubs, as well as a list of some of my favorite clips.

off the top of my head, suggestions to poke around in:

survival of the fittest, s1 and s2 - bdubs' death game with prox chat. the handcuff thing in s1. i shan't say any more. watch etho for s1, bdubs for s2.

nether hubs, mindcrack s3 and s4 - literally the s4 one is so good, and the episodes they build it in also cover some of the best death games 2.0 moments between them. chicken noodle soup. etho's POV for the first one but bdubs for the second, if you have to pick.

feed the beast call of duty pvp arena - one of the first but not the last arena project. highlights include bdubs ordering etho to strip and also them killing each other for fun.

speaking of arenas, the immediate sequel to the COD map is the fire and ice arena in mindcrack s4. etho builds a house outside the arena itself, stealing bdubs' block palette, and only an episode or two later getting bdubs to help and decorating his room across the hall with quote justin bieber posters unquote, causing at least zisteau to later ask if bdubs really is a belieber.

whatever the episode is that etho hires bdubs to kill someone for him and then showers him with meat in mindcrack s3

here is a secret: i have not yet watched The Trial. but it's foundational. all the etho vs. the b-team stuff is so funny especially how often he and bdubs are literally collabing on something at the same time.

UHCs - etho's POV of UHC 4 is classic and victorious. bdubs' POV of UHC 11 is the worst thing i've ever seen in my life, watch it immediately. there's other ones but i haven't seen most of them because i feel compelled to watch for Live Bdubs Reactions but it makes me want to throw up every time. because he is Insane.

OOGE - three different CTM maps, ymmv; this ranking is spot on, but i've also watched OOG (bdubs + guude) so like clearly my tolerance is not normal. watch kaizo caverns

horse courses, mindcrack s3 and s5, hermitcraft s8 - beyonc? and taylor swift horses of all time. you really just should watch etho or bdubs' first mindcrack seasons. s5 mesa one also features doc and genny and the running sick joke you will recognize from the s4 nether hub and last life.

those three entire episodes of etho helping bdubs with his spawner situation that's only in bdubs' POV, starting with bdubs going oh let's not bother him and then freaking out a little when etho volunteers himself to help. the first but not the last time etho says he wants to live in bdubs' basement.

hermitcraft s7. just the whole thing both their povs don't worry about it, you already know, etc. but personal soft spots of course for etho killing bdubs with kindness and the delivery boy saga, which references an ancient joke about pink shirts. also hcs8 overlapping last life and bdubs' very very blatant etho-obsession is just so much.

also of course the life series but instead of telling you what you already know please consider how bdubs signing his invoice "luv bdubs" to etho but reading it out loud as "love, professionally, bdubs" aired immediately after "he loves me! he cares. he does" happened. we don't talk about that weird little no homo enough

thank you for reminding me i need to finish the etho mindcrack best of list. i'm surely missing a ton of stuff but this is a rough approximation of my favorites and/or essentials. but seriously i have jumped around and finished some series, only watched a few select episodes of others, and straight up forgot to finish several more. be free! go nuts. (you will go nuts. this part is not optional)

#game shows DO touch our lives #ethubs #peter answers #i'd do more links but i'd never get this out in a reasonable timeframe. sorry. they're all over my blog #also see my 'daily cursed bdubs clip' and 'daily cursed etho clip' tags on this blog. for horrors and delights #long post #masterpost

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silvertws · 6 months

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You know what? At this point I have more written posts than fanarts... I mean, I could post old ones, but idk if it would make sense you know? Anyway.

You may wonder, is this gonna be another Steve Saga or something post?

Oh no, I may be hyperfixated, but I still do love other fandoms, even if they are dead.

Speaking on dead fandoms.

Hi Origins Crew fandom :}

How are y'all doing? How's the feeling of never knowing what was supposed to happen to your favorite character in OoO, SNO,SAO...? Oh and the unfinished storylines in MHO? FTO? do we wanna talk about the cliffhanger in OZ? I mean, luckily some people posted videos about how the storyline was going to go, so at least we got that.

(to clarify, I'm not mad at anyone who was part of the Origins Crew DW, I could never)

Anyway.

Some backstory on how I started watching Origins.

It was summer of 2019 I think? Pretty sure at least, I know it was before I started highschool because I sucked at English before I started watching Origins.

Anyway.

First series was OoO S1 from Brandon's POV, at least that's the first video that got recommended to me, I'm unsure what episode it was, I can't remember if it was before or after the Aphrodite's ball (we don't talk about those, you guys know why. You know.) So I'm not sure if I even watched it all, but I think at the time I did go back to watch it from the first episode.

Anyway POVS right? With OoO S1 I watched Brandon (*cough cough* Brandeen), Jakey, Brian, Colin and some of Xylo.

And can I just say... IT'S BEEN 3 SEASONS, 3 SEASONS IT TOOK TO GET RID OF A FUCKING SWORD, A SWORD, COME ON. AND WHY THE FUCK, CAN SOME PEOPLE COME BACK TO LIFE, AND OTHERS CAN'T, WHAT PLOT ARMOR IS THIS- Istg that was probably the most annoying thing of them all, nothing against the creators, again I feel like I need to clarify! But it's just my personal dumb opinion that I hope nobody takes offense to???

Anyway.

I feel like I should make a post for every Origins Series I've watched, but idk if that would make sense lol TwT

Besides my personal preferences when it came to all the series, I am very grateful to the Origins Crew, they're the reason I'm here today, the reason I know English and they were the first group that really opened my eyes when it came to the LGBTQ+ community and helped me discover myself.

I know that from an outside point of view it might seem dumb, but I do owe a lot to them, all of them, even the ones who left a year before Origins dismantled, even the ones who joined just before people went their separate ways.

Because even if people might say that the storylines were dumb or maybe cliche (which, in some cases they definitely were) in the end, I still loved every moment of it, every episode every dumb character who didn't make any sense or that was weirdly overpowered (I REALLY want to specify which ones but I don't want the whole fandom to come at me, please, any fandom but this one) but to be fair they kinda all were in some way? Or at least had the potential to in my opinion.

I'm not good at keeping a conversation stick to one topic, I tend to sideline pretty often and I apologize for that. TwT

Also idk if it's just me, but when I find a group of people there's always that one that for some unknown reason I just like more and that one who I dislike, again, for no specific reason, just the vibes???

Like for Hermitcraft and Empires it's Pearl, for Fable it's Ulysses, (I love this fish boy with all my heart if anything happens to him I will cry) for Origins it was Colin and Brandon, don't ask why, I have no idea, I just did, still do consider them my favorites.

I kept watching content from the Origins creators after everything went down. Including the drama with some of the creators I suppose... (I still don't understand most of it)

From Devi Devi Academy/anarchy to Glitch generation, to My Hero Eternity, I watched some of the Fnaf content Bryan made just for the nostalgia.

Holy fuck how I miss these fuckers.

Like it was the whole dynamic they had in the group, the mini games videos in character were so entertaining to watch! Especially the crossovers, I tend to rewatch them from time to time even tho I know basically everything by memory at this point.

Honestly they really inspired me when it came to creating my own storylines, and roleplaying, some people may call it cringe, and I get it, but I still think it's fun.

It's been a year.

Well, more technically, but I didn't have Tumblr at the time of the anniversary I suppose? Can you even call it that?

The Origins fandom never felt too big, in my life I've only talked to one other person who knew about them, and it was pretty fun, we watched the uh.. second episode of my Hero Eternity together making theories and stuff, talking about my hero Origins and wondering which characters canonically knew that you know, mr "I killed both my bio parents" was actually alive. (Which from what we know, Flex knows, and I think Colin, not sure tho, because in the 3rd episode, when they were interrogating the hero, our edgy boy mentioned how he had an old "friend" who could get information and data really easily, and now, we all know Mario definitely wouldn't do that plus, did he even interact with the L.O.V.E. as a whole? I don't think so? So the only option that makes sense to me is Colin)

Anyway I drifted away from the concept once again because once I start talking I won't ever stop.

This is a long post, as usual, cause I write a lot when it comes to things I'm passionate about.

I'm very attached to Origins, all the characters, all the storylines, all the silly little things. And I'm never going to stop missing it I suppose? Not in a "omg how dare they break the group apart blabla blabla..." No, I'm just very nostalgic when it comes to it.

I owe everything to them, part of who I am today is because of them.

PS: if anybody wants to talk about this fandom I suppose, please do, please let's start a conversation. I have so many things to say.

Like you know in SNO when people didn't know Lucas and Brandon were SIBLINGS???? and they SHIPPED THEM??? yeah, hi it's me, I'm the problem it's me, HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU JUST DROP A BOMB LIKE THAT ON THE LAST EPISODE MAN, AND HOW DID I NOT EXPECT IT????? luckily for me, mine was very much platonic shipping, so uhhh yay??? Don't come for me guys, it was years ago, please ToT Also I did kinda Ship Lucas with uhh was it also called Jakey???? I don't remember anymore my friend will probably remember this because when the series was happening I'd just go on and ramble about the fact that I didn't know who I should have shipped with the angel boy.

Man shipping anyone in any of those series was HELL, LET ME TELL YOU, HELL. ABSOLUTE HELL, HOLY FUCK THIS IS WHY I DON'T SHIP CHARACTERS AT ALL.

Ok actual PS now:

Please, let's all sit and chat in front of a glass of tumbjuice/tomb juice??? (idk how to spell that, don't come for me) and not get cursed by anything while we do so.

Let's just vibeeeeeee :D

#dead fandom #minecraft #minecraft rp #mctv #Origins Crew #OoO #FTO #MHO #i dont fucking know #please i need to talk about this with someone in the fandom or i will loose it #fandom #can I even call this a dead fandom?#i don't know

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spongebob-connoisseur · 8 months

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It’s amazing how much Nosferatu became an integral part of SpongeBob lore. Especially since he was just a gag character for the ending of the night shift episode. He even appeared as a character in the CGI Camp series as a younger version of himself. Why the recent interest?

I've grown to LOVE Nosferatu! Outside of the fact that he's a blorbo by association to Slappy. Slappy supremacy 🙏

I just think he's neat.

I remember some thing on twitter where SB fans were complaining about the show reusing old characters like Nosferatu and Granny Prunes but honestly SB fans on twitter are kinda annoying to begin with and will complain about anything. I couldn't care less, gimme more German expressionist characters <3 <3

Jokes aside. Idk I've grown really fond of Nosey. He's just a silly guy. Outside of flickering the light switch on and off, he has a funny life. His ship never made it to Wismar and he ended up stuck underwater. Now he has a dorky fish butler and a son and he lives a relatively mundane life. He's the nightshift manager at the Krusty krab, hes a single dad, he writes screenplays sometimes, he promoted products. He auditions. He even did an interview once.

Its weird but funny. The first vampire in cinema and the first (unofficial) adaptation of dracula is just some guy chilling with fishes and living his life. He seems pretty content with things and I like that. He's what I aspire to be <3 ((NOT BALD))

As for the show, spongebob the show is trying to build continuity. Idk why but it's been since the beginning of the post secondary movie era and the tidal zone shenanigans. Its more likely to reference locations and old characters every so often. Some people complain that its trying to milk nostalgia but honestly I think they're just trying to make the world more connected and cohesive. people complain when the show does literally anything, they complain about old characters being used but they also hate the new characters so it really doesn't matter.

I personally love the direction the show is currently in. Its fun, I like how they expand on some characters and they all have their own little thing going on. I also like Nosferatu specifically because of how absurd it is to have a German expressionist movie character existing in a childrens show. People say it ruins his original gag because it was supposed to be random but Nosferatu being a regular character on it's own is random. This dude was spreading his plague to Wisborg, now he pulls pranks underwater by flickering the lights. He has a morally decent fish Dr. Caligari as his primary care physician. It's funny.

Also you mentioned there's a kid version of Nosferatu in Kamp Koral. That's not a child nosferatu. That is The child OF Nosferatu. I wonder who conceived Kidferatu? Idk but its funny that Nosey is a single dad working to support his kid. In Squidferatu you can see a framed picture of his son in the background :D (I really want to see Slappy being a good nanny to Kidferatu. Please please PLEASE)

I love the episode Graveyard Shift and I love his reappearance in The Night Patty. I always liked this weird guy but I only became invested once he got associated with Slappy. I think once the synopsis of Slappy Daze dropped and it revealed Slappy being nosferatu's butler was when I became obsessed and watched every nosferatu/dracula adaptation (don't ask, I comb through things fast. Also I liked vampire media years before this but this took an existing interested and pushed it to obsession lol)

Also watching the 1979 adaption of Nosferatu in particular gave me brain worms. I was like "....he kinda bad tho" I'm trying hard not to say I've begun to simp for him but I am 👉👈 I'm mildly disgusted with myself but its also like. I kinda like him more than what I should. I sorta want to slap myself for such a weird thing because REALLY look at him. But I can't help but like it. Ughhhhh. I wanna grab his big nose. I like to imagine it'll honk like a clown's nose.

It doesn't help that he's so silly in Spongebob like that's not helping at all😭

Obviously I prefer Slappy because he's my murder bby but I also think Nosferatu could get it as well.

So yeah. In other news, I preordered the super7 nosferatu figurine. I cant wait to get it. But idk the NECA nosferatu figurine looks better. It was also cheaper. Idk its too late now to change anything. I am still quite happy. I want to make that Nosferatu a proud supportive dad to my Draculaura doll :)

#Princess-unipeg #Ask #the spongebob connoisseur #spongebob squarepants #spongebob #sb #spongebon squarepants #spongebob meme #slappy laszlo #Nosferatu #Graf orlok #Count orlok #Kamp koral #Kidferatu

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opinated-user · 1 year

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You know, before Lily's Steven Universe video came out, I remember watching a stream of hers where she was editing it together, repeatedly doing takes to sound angrier and angrier about things. But the thing that turned me off of her and her content wasn't that. I never believed her shrieking was genuine, I had always seen it as performance meant to be comedic. What turned me off of her was her shit talking another content creator, SF Debris. Why? Because he has always been open about the fact that while he understands what women are and aren't aesthetically pleasing in traditional senses, the only person he ever felt attraction to in his life is his wife, and he's never had any desire to have romance with anyone else. Also it took him about five years to realize he was attracted to and in love with the woman he then asked out and ended up married to.

Now, to anyone else on Earth, there's nothing offensive about any of that. While SF Debris has never used any labels to describe himself or identified as such, a lot of his viewers think of him as being on the ace spectrum. Lily, though, has one major disagreement with him, which is that her least favorite Star Trek series is his favorite and her favorite series, he calls out for dismissing murder when it's done by the good guys.

So Lily went off on a tangent when someone (who presumably didn't know Lily hates being recommended things and cannot be rational about someone else liking/disliking a thing she dislikes/likes) recommended she watch his video on the Star Trek Deep Space 9 episode Profit and Lace, in which he tears apart the transphobia of the episode and the grossness of how that episode handles misogyny and feminism, and Lily. lost. her. shit. She went on a rant about how SF Debris isn't really LGBT (he's never claimed to be) and he's lying about his supposed lack of sexual attraction and everyone wants to fuck. That's a phrase she used that really made me uncomfortable. Everyone wants to fuck. He must be lying when he says he's not interested in having sex with anyone other than this one person. It must be virtue signalling, it must be lying, it's manipulation, he's manipulating the audience by playing an unrealistic saintly persona, and the kicker, that he's probably sleeping with underage fans.

I'm not ace, but I know a lot of ace people, and I just found that so uncomfortable, this idea that they're all lying, that they're trying to trick you so they can sleep with you. I'm trans and that's what people in my country say about trans men and trans women and often nonbinary people, too. Queer people (which I count him as, even if he has not used the term for himself) aren't lying to you in order to get into your pants. Queer people aren't secret predators. If you don't like SF Debris' videos, that's fine. I dislike most of his Gundam videos and I don't think his Enterprise analyses were very good or in-depth. That doesn't mean he's lying about his sexuality so he can fuck people and it especially doesn't mean he's suddenly into children! And it's even worse in context because his twin sons are disabled and he's mentioned worrying about protecting them from predators because the stats for abuse from people outside the family are much higher for disabled kids. She saw a queer-ish man and declared him a predator even though fear of predators is something that plagues him to this day due to his kids' disabilities. She saw an ace-ish person and declared them a liar automatically.

I don't like Lily. She's still trans and bi. I don't like Keffals. She's still trans. I don't like my Intro To Buddhism professor, he's still gay. People don't become liars once you dislike them. And while I do believe Lily is a predator, that took years of evidence to make me believe, I didn't go from "I don't like her content" to "she's a pedo" because those two things are not related. Your gender, sexual orientation, romantic orientation or lack of those things are unrelated to your actions, and it is predatory action that shows us who a predator is.

That was the day I quit watching Lily's videos. The way she talked about this guy who is on the ace spectrum was so fucked up that I couldn't excuse it or rationalize it away. Because it wasn't recorded, I'm sure she'd deny it ever happened. But the way she said "everyone wants to fuck" as if it was written in Scripture or an undeniable fact is burned into my memory. It was said with the certainty that queerphobes have when they say "there are two genders" or "you can't change your gender". It was said with the same 'you're ridiculous for suggesting otherwise' dismissiveness and disgust.

Ace people, you are valid. Demi people, you are valid. If you are only very rarely or never attracted to someone and never or rarely feel romantic connections with people, that is not a lie and you are not secretly gross or bad or wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with someone not being into sex or romance and it's not a character flaw of any kind.

I've been noticing an uptick in TERFs and radfems saying men can't be ace lately, that that's a trap meant to lure you into sex with them. So maybe that's why this is on my mind lately. It's so much like her take on this guy that when I hear aphobia I think of Lily.

I'm not ace but my heart breaks for ace people. Just for living their lives and being honest they're viewed as predatory liars.

You'd think a trans woman would know better than to treat others that way.

i'm going to go ahead and also assume that person has never interacted with LO or spoke a word to her. that's some serious unhealthy level of projection that LO really needs to work on.

#lily orchard

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ashiyn · 2 years

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ABOUT; hermitcraft, empires, life series & related content

most of my reblogs are from my queue! i do reblog stuff outside of my queue during events/episode releases etc i have an organised tag system with added info about what i post on here -> .post | .gif | .vid | .live

(mainly) fma sideblog ; @yummygarlicbread dyslexic and swedish, expect most of my posts to have spelling errors <3

please don't repost my work (gifs/edits) without credit

-> blinkies, userboxes & more unnecessary info below

i post about almost all of the members of each smp so this isn't a cc specific blog however, i do often cycle through fixations on different people

that being said, iskall is a pretty cool guy (im super normal about him actually. like super-duper-never-seen-before normal about him. yeah.)

—fun info; i've been a casual hermitcraft viewer for quite some time before i actually joined the fandom space im a long-time viewer of geminitay, a big fan of her singleplayer series and she's the reason why i got into hermitcraft in the first place! :D i've had mcyt as my special interest for a decade. which is. crazy?? to me. i started watching swedish mcyt (dualdgaming & stamsite... ough. childhood) back in late 2012 and just never looked back

martyn has the best traffic pov i love singing and music a lot! it's big soft spot for me love me some eldritch horror keralis BIG fan of other people's laughs beloved mutuals (and bdubs) turned me into an ethogirl

hermitcraft season 8 & last life enthusiast

—fyi; i rb shipping from time to time. it’s always tagged! no nsfw but i will rb suggestive posts sometimes that are also tagged as such i have periods where i thirst post a lot and i do apologize but i have warned you as u probably can tell: yes i like to infodump & spend time on pretty posts i'm a heavy tag user! i use my own blog as an archive but i also talk a lot in the tags (archive tags currently on hold)

gtws blinkie / userbox [1] [2] [3] / tumblr meme [1] [2] [3] [4]

#welcome welcome

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spencersawkward · 2 years

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switchblade faith//spencer reid - chapter 12

summary: one month after joining the BAU, Clea is still settling in. between solving murders and getting acclimated to DC, the only comfortable thing in her life is her new friendship with Dr. Spencer Reid. (Baby Spence)

pairing: Fem!OC x Spencer

word count: 3.4k

content warnings: slight angst

A/N: hey everyone! i hope you're all doing well. i'm so sorry for the late update but i'm really excited about where this chapter is headed. see you soon <3

masterlist

I watch the sunlight hit the wing of the jet and reflect off the metal. before we've even landed, I can practically feel the warmth of the Los Angeles sun in my mind. even though we're here for a case, all I can think about is how much nicer the weather will be.

"the light will damage your eyes." Reid's voice across from me jolts me back to reality. he redirects me to the chess board, where he's apparently already made his move and is waiting for me to do the same.

I frown. "whatever."

normally, there'd be some kind of clock to keep track of our moves, but Spencer has been keeping our progress slow. it's appreciated, as I'm still familiarizing myself with the rules of the game and different playing strategies. of course, I want to be good, but it's much easier said than done.

"looking forward to LA?" I ask to bide my time while the doctor stares at the board. he rests his knuckles beneath his chin, then looks up at me. the dimming light catches his eyes in a honeyed tone.

"it's okay, as long as we're not outside often."

"okay, Dracula." I tease. he sighs the kind of sigh he does when he has a lot to say but doesn't want to compact all of it for the rest of us ordinary people to understand.

"I just don't like the heat."

"good thing you moved to DC." I reply sarcastically.

he seems like he wants to say something in response, then decides against it. instead, he taps a long finger on the wooden board. "pay attention."

"I don't wanna do this anymore, Spence." I whine. just then, JJ passes by with a cup of coffee and rests her hand on the top of my seat.

"do what?"

"chess," Spencer gives her a look asking for help before turning his gaze back to me. "you can't just give up every time something gets hard."

"I can if it's something I don't care about," I roll my eyes. "he keeps beating me, too. it's defeating."

"then play smarter." Reid gives me a challenging smile.

"give her a break, Reid." JJ musses his hair as she walks past him and to her own spot. as Spencer fixes it with a blush, I push down my frustration. I know this is his specialty, but it's not mine and I'm tired.

I give him something of a pleading expression before leaning back in my seat with arms folded. he stares at me for a minute-- or through me, really-- and then to the board. I try to reorient myself and give it another shot, my fingertips pressing impatiently into the surface of the table.

"queen to h4." it comes out while Spencer coughs, the directions clear as day. he lifts his attention to me again and I look at him with confusion. is he really going to let me win? do I even want it?

I want a nap more.

with a satisfying click, I do as he says and trap him. Spencer shakes his head and lets out a breath. "wow."

"shut up." I pick up the pawns and slide them back into the little velvet pouch that they came in. Reid pulls a book out of his bag and opens it, but not before sneaking a small smile over the rim of the pages.

he knows what I'm going to say. "thanks."

"mhmm." he goes back to reading.

the smugness lingers in the air until I eventually doze off to the sound of the engine and the turning of pages.

JJ wakes me up later to fill us in on the case. Hotch has been in the city for a few days already for a conference, but told us to come after a detective friend of his requested our help on a series of murders in the area, all execution-style shots with a .22 caliber handgun.

"the first two victims were Wally Melman and Chloe Harris," she says. "they were both killed in public places. Chloe was killed while walking her dog on the beach in Santa Monica, which she did every morning. Wally was killed outside a massage parlor, which he went to every Tuesday."

"if he knows their schedules he must follow his victims for a while," Morgan frowns as he flips through his file. "and no witnesses for either... he must be able to blend in."

"meticulous." I rub my eyes.

"the most recent victim is Natalie Ryan. she's an actress and there's been tons of media coverage about the murder, so I'd be cautious about paparazzi while we're there." JJ warns us as she settles onto the couch.

I've never worked on a celebrity case before, so this puts me off slightly. the idea of everyone's eyes on us while we work makes me anxious, especially given the nature of LA paparazzi.

...

the coffee is terrible at the precinct. I'm perched on the edge of a desk while Hotch paces back and forth, the detective situated across from the team.

"you think he's an assassin?" he asks dubiously.

Prentiss nods. "there's no obvious links within the victimology-- all the murders were clean except Natalie's boyfriend, Jeremy, who we think was just collateral damage."

"there's no evidence left at any of the crime scenes or any signature, either." Reid rests his chin on his knuckles, eyebrows furrowed. his watch glints under the light. the guy still looks unconvinced, though, so I speak up.

"you're looking for a Type 4 assassin, someone who suffers from a major mental disorder. they're usually delusional."

Reid opens his mouth, likely to explain the other types of assassins, when someone knocks on the doorframe. it's a short, stocky man.

"excuse me," he looks at all of us cramped in the tiny office. "is there a detective Kim here?"

"that's me." the detective stands.

"you're in charge of the Natalie Ryan murder investigation, right?"

at this, my ears perk up. everyone stares at the man.

"my client-- I'm sorry, is there anywhere we can talk about this in private?" he eyes us warily, suddenly uncomfortable with the amount of people around. I'm more intrigued than ever.

"we're all working this case." Kim replies.

"oh," he clears his throat. "well, my client received a note-- I told her not to worry about it, but--"

"where's the note?" Morgan cuts him off.

he hands over a magazine clipping, an article on the Natalie Ryan murder, which has "YOU OWE ME" written in red marker across the page. Morgan gets up.

"where's your client?"

"she's in the other room."

"Reid, Williams, let's go." he follows the man out, Spencer and I trailing quickly behind like ducklings.

there's a separate office tucked into the corner of the precinct, where the man gestures to a young woman sitting in a chair. I don't recognize her, but she looks like a celebrity herself.

"this is my client, Lila Archer." the guy tells us. he must be her manager. the woman turns to see us standing there. she's obviously distraught, silent while we introduce ourselves and until Morgan begins to ask her questions about the note. every question flusters her further.

eventually, the rest of the team comes in to hear her story, and it's clear that the unsub is committing the murders on what they believe is her behalf. once she realizes this, though, she gets overwhelmed and excuses herself abruptly. a few of us glance between each other. Lila's manager, Michael, looks like he's about to go after her, but Hotch asks him to stay for a few more questions and asks one of us to find her instead.

something in my chest flares when Reid volunteers and practically runs out of the room. my eyebrows pull together in confusion and I sense Morgan looking at me, but I don't say anything. instead, I turn my attention to Hotch.

neither of them return for a good ten minutes, and when they do, we're packing up. tonight will be spent putting together a preliminary profile and tomorrow we'll have to figure out what to do. I've been less on my toes than I'd like, too preoccupied by how quickly he offered to find her.

she seems better, if not slightly jumpy. Spencer says something to her and she walks over to Michael. he puts his arm around her shoulder comfortingly. the three of them talk to Hotch in hushed tones and I try to keep from staring.

I'm throwing out the remains of my coffee when Spencer sidles up next to me as if nothing happened. we walk out with the rest of the team into the night air.

"they gave her a security detail, right?" he asks me.

"of course," I wonder what he said to her to calm her down. Spencer has never seemed inclined to console a stranger. "how'd you convince her to come back inside?"

"well, I told her that this person likely started out as a stalker and that these cases usually either culminate in the stalker killing themselves or the object of their desire." he states. my eyebrows fly up.

"you said that?"

"yes," he pauses when he sees my expression. "what?"

"nothing. I'm just surprised she looked so calm when she came back." I shake my head.

"I also said we'd assign 24/7 security to her in the meantime, so that might have helped."

I adjust my bag further up my shoulder. "that was nice of you, to go make sure she was okay."

Spencer smiles at me and any strangeness I was feeling before melts away. something is seriously wrong with me; here he was, just being a nice person, and I was making it about myself.

"are you okay?" he breaks the quiet between us. the team is talking behind us about the case, but I realize that I haven't said anything for a good thirty seconds.

"I think I'm just tired. that coffee was undrinkable."

he laughs. "do you wanna get a new one?"

"are any places still open?" I look at the silky sky above, starless but punctured by the lights of office buildings all around.

"it's 8pm. I'm sure there are." a small grin tugs at his lips, this one rather teasing. I roll my eyes before turning to tell the team we'll meet them at the cars in a few minutes.

we find a small café about two blocks down, filled with twinkling lights and Frank Ocean playing over the speakers. there are plants crammed in every windowsill, their leaves taking on a deep green in the dim, romantic light.

a couple people are situated at the tables. I peruse the fancy options as Spencer grumbles next to me about how stupid it is to have this many choices when ordering coffee.

"you know, I usually disagree when people complain about 'the good old days,' but I really do agree in this particular case." he tells me.

"yeah?" I suppress a grin.

"yes." he folds his arms over his chest. "banana coffee sounds terrible. who is ordering that?"

the person in front of us finishes up and leaves.

"me." I say as I step forward to the register, half out of spite and half curiosity. frankly, it does sound terrible, but this café looks popular so maybe it'll be good.

I can feel Spencer's eyes boring into me as I order, then his pointed, "just a medium black coffee, please," when it's his turn.

"are you paying together or separately?" the barista asks us.

"I am not paying for that." Spencer turns to me. I laugh and hand over my card.

"together, thanks."

he shakes his head at me as we walk to the other end of the bar to wait for our drinks.

"you're gonna regret that flavor, I'm calling it now." he says offhandedly.

"be nice to me, Reid. I paid for your drink."

"I didn't ask you to!" his voice goes up an octave. I nudge his shoulder, and, to my surprise, he nudges mine back. heat rushes into my cheeks and then our coffees are on the counter and I taste it as we walk back out into the street.

it takes everything in me not to wrinkle my entire face up.

"how is it?" Spencer is watching me intently. I can see the triumphant smile threatening to break out, the light in his eyes making me feel a bit better about earlier.

"it's good." I lie through my teeth. Reid sees right through me, however, and grabs the cup out of my hand. to my astonishment, he takes a sip with the same straw I was using. he nearly gags.

"oh, that's bad." he laughs and it sounds almost like a giggle, which is infectious.

"it tastes like if someone took a banana and straight espresso and then smashed them together without any sugar."

"it just tastes like tar."

"will you pay me $5 to finish this?" I hold it up like a trophy, like drinking it will be a feat.

"absolutely not," he shakes his head. "I'm not paying for your mistake."

the rest of our walk back to the car is lighthearted, our laughter floating up into the city air like the heat. Spencer brags about how delicious his coffee is, how unmarred by silly flavors, and I feel our bodies growing closer together.

the sidewalk is somewhat wide, but we're walking pretty much shoulder to shoulder, our hands brushing once by accident. I feel like a middle schooler, the way I withdraw my touch as if it's shocked me. it's hard not to notice, though, when Spencer is usually someone who prefers more space. here he is, knuckles grazing mine while we chat.

our friendship is so new, yet so much has happened since we met. this job compresses time and fills every day with something freshly horrifying. there's something about working with Reid that makes me feel like we've known each other forever, though. I spend so much time with him that I'm now highly aware of all his habits and tendencies, what the different pitches of his voice mean and the secret preferences he harbors about the most minute things.

something about it is terrifying, how easily he has threaded himself into my life, but thrilling as well. all I can think about is how after I showered at his apartment and fell asleep on that plush couch, how I woke up to the sound of him washing our mugs in the kitchen sink and didn't want to be anywhere else in the world.

he sticks close to my side until we see the team standing by the cars, their moods much more austere than our own. for a second, I had forgotten why we're here.

"ready to go?" Prentiss looks between the two of us.

"yeah, we're good." I find myself moving away from Spencer, realizing how inappropriate our chumminess right now might seem.

I can feel Spencer's eyes on me as I go to get into the car, mine meeting his right before I get inside. I bite down on my tongue.

...

the next day is just as sunny as the previous one when we arrive at the studio where Lila is shooting for her television show. everyone around us is moving in a hurry, the chaos of which I can tell puts Spencer on edge. his attention darts between crew members and the beach setting they're using.

"why is she even working right now?" I lean over and ask Prentiss as we make our way to Lila. she's in a bikini, sitting in a chair while Michael talks to her. as a makeup artist slides a kabuki brush over her cheek, I notice that she seems far more composed than she did last night. she laughs at something he says.

"she said she refuses to be stuck in a hotel room until we find the guy." Emily shrugs. I raise an eyebrow but don't push it further.

Michael leaves her when another woman comes over in a headset and hands Lila an orange envelope. they have a short conversation, but she too disappears quickly. Spencer and Emily and I approach the actress in the chair while she reads the sheet of paper that was in the envelope. her expression changes to something much more concerned.

"Lila." Reid calls to her. she glances up and sees the three of us, smiling weakly.

"Spencer." she says his first name like they're close.

"everything alright, Miss Archer?" Prentiss notices Lila's body language.

"um," she hesitates. "my assistant just said this was posted on my door."

Prentiss takes the paper from her and reads it, then passes it to Reid and me.

"Lila-- I've always been so good to you. why would you go to the police?" is the only thing on it.

my stomach drops. Prentiss and I share a look and I know what she's thinking before she hands the sheet back to Lila. "would we be able to go to your trailer, Miss Archer? Detective Kim is on his way here and it would be better to discuss this in a private space."

she nods and we walk to her trailer. the inside is simple, just a couch, TV, and a vanity that also has a couple framed photos of the actress with friends and family. Spencer and I sit on the couch while Emily stands by the door. Lila has her arms crossed anxiously over her chest, silent, when Kim arrives.

we tell them that based on the wording of the note, the stalker is likely someone she knows. at the idea of stopping her work for a little while, Lila prickles and argues that she only has one more scene to shoot.

the woman who brought her the note earlier pops her head into the trailer and tells Lila they're ready for her on set again. she turns to all of us serenely.

"I'm staying at work." she walks out of the trailer, leaving us sitting there. I notice Spencer's eyes following her with a surprised expression, maybe impressed.

I clear my throat as soon as the door closes behind her. "look, I didn't want to freak her out more, but mentioning the police might mean this guy is altering his agenda."

"what do you mean?" Kim frowns at me.

"she didn't go alone to the police." Emily finishes my thought, the one we shared when we first read the paper. she straightens. "I'm gonna go check in with Michael."

"we'll keep an eye on her." I get off the couch.

"I'll hang back, too." Kim nods.

we end up on the set again, waiting for Prentiss to finish up with the manager while drinking sodas. Lila is at the snack bar in a robe, making herself a cup of coffee.

"I'm gonna go talk to her." Reid tells me. I nod and watch him go in front of one of the enormous cameras, accidentally bumping into one and apologizing profusely.

despite myself, I watch them. she sees him coming and offers a friendly smile. his back is to me, but he's rocking slightly on his toes, his usual poor posture making him look even more awkward. I can practically feel the nervous energy crackling around him.

something twists in my stomach, but I try to brush it aside. I shouldn't be staring. there's not much else for me to do, though. I see her take a sip of the coffee, make a face, and immediately reach for his Coke.

she asks him something, he shakes his head, and she drinks from the bottle. my jaw nearly drops. this time, I can't help gaping at the sight. it only gets worse when she tosses off her robe and walks back onto the set, looking stunning in her bikini. Spencer isn't looking at her at all, but it sets something immaturely evil off inside me.

I toss my Sprite into the trash and go to wait somewhere in this studio that's as far as possible from them. I'm nauseated. I need to keep her in my sight as part of my job, but I'm sure Reid has that covered.

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