Tumgik
#i didnt do my typical ‘small text big text at the end’ its too much writing 💀
wqxianwriting · 9 months
Text
how to make a golden retriever happy.
SLIGHTLY proofread | f!reader | poly relationship with nick & charlie though reader isn’t dating charlie | pretty damn long i got ahead of myself, sorry :,) | they’re so cute but im so bad at details fr | lunch date, walks, stargazing w fireflies & movie night! (you got headbands to wear… guess what movie charlie is having y’all watch rn) | what is stargazing | author questioning what color sonic’s eyes are | theres some crying at the end and a mention of breaking up but its just those negative thoughts actin up, theyre all okay :) | angst/comfort? | not many kisses unfortunately but THERE ARE SOME, like three scenes… two? | there is cussing, not much | nick & reader flashbacks
#%a/n%#;; first request done! thanks for it, they mean so much to me. i didn’t wanna make it too long but here we are lolol, hope it’s enjoyable though 🥹💜 also ntm on your family details but your mom does appear and she has a “set” personality! no one else appears though so you can imagine the reader’s family how you want, though it is mentioned your mom is married. also note, since reader is a lady she goes to the same school as like, elle darcy tara (and probably imogen too, right?). meant to post this yesterday but i wanted to add some stuff at the end haha, sorry sorry this is a whole ass wattpad book fr, feel like i wrote so much and nothing at the same time. hope you enjoy if you give it a read thought fhdhdj
OH YEAH last thing, the emotions in this story is kind of a whiplash 💀 one minute they’re happy the next theyre kinda sad or bittersweet so- hopefully the pacing doesnt seem bad… BE WARNED. shouldn’t be too crazy. okay thats it this time do enjoy
character(s):
nick & charlie (heartstopper)
elle & tao cameo
reader’s mom omg she’s a sweetheart, charlie’s parents are mentioned/super small cameo, nick’s mom also has a small cameo/is mentioned
darcy, imogen and sahar are very briefly mentioned!
The sweet sound of the school bell rings throughout and the school and every single student sighs in relief of the noise. You glance up at the clock on the wall before looking around the classroom where students are packing up their bags while talking noisily to one another.
You allow yourself to recline in your chair, left arm reaching back to where your backpack dangles off the seat and slide your hands into the side pocket, grabbing your phone.
Nicky Ricky Dicky: I’m alive!
Char: you live! i live too :) wanna walk together today or are you both busy? (gonna pick you up bestie)
Y/N: i’ll meet you outside (ty loveliest)
Char: awesome!!! nick?
Nicky Ricky Dicky: Sorry aha, I need to go home quickly today but I’ll be sure to join tomorrow!
This makes you pout and you can imagine your bestfriend having the same expression because the sad emoji he wrote in the group-chat even makes you sadder.
Char: ☹️
Y/N: don’f worry charlie
Y/N: Don’t*
Nicky Ricky Dicky: Sorry :,)
Char: It’s fine! Do what you have to do… we gonna facetime tonight though?
Char hearts your message ‘don’f worry charlie’.
Nicky Ricky Dicky: No promises but I’ll do my best. 😠❤️
Nicky Ricky Dicky: i gtg now, love you both <3
Y/N: lym! ❤️
Char: love you! ❤️❤️❤️
Y/N: three hearts 🥹
Char: y/n. STOP. come outside before i die
Y/N: omg… such a drama king like okay
You write and yet, you’re quick to jump from your chair and snatch your bag before sliding it on your shoulder. You push in your chair and skip out into the hallways where you see Elle. “Heya, Elle!”
She smiles warmly and waves goodbye to her friends before stepping in sync with you. “Hey there, Miss, didn’t catch your name.” You bump her shoulder and she bumps you back. “What’re you up to?”
“Charlie’s gonna come pick me up, hopefully via bike… mines broke the other day.” You sigh and she gives you a look of pity while trying to bite back a grin. Then she perks up.
“Not Nick?”
You shake your head, rubbing a hand against your temple. “Mm-mm, you ever just get a feeling something is off?”
Elle nods, turning her face away from you and her hands grip onto the handle of her bag that bounces against her legs. “Yeah, just putting it out there… graduation may be on his mind, I know its on mine and it’s been kicking my ass to be honest,” You wrap an arm around her in comfort and she hums in appreciation. “Just all that weird stuff, weird thoughts and anxiety…” Then she pauses, raising a hand and flicking her wrist. “Okay- not weird, but you know.”
That makes you snort, “Yeah, I get’cha… maybe, but we’ve always been open about that kind of stuff, I just don’t understand why it’d be a issue… I mean, we’ve talked about it many times before so it’s kind of odd, I guess?” You and Elle share a look of confusion before shrugging.
“Maybe it’s been having more of an impact y’know? You can speak easily about something when you’re not there yet but… graduation is coming up and everyone is worried about the future. You know how things don’t hit you till it’s happening literally next week or something? Maybe its hitting harder.”
Your heart clenches in pain at those words. She’s not wrong, there is a high chance it’s staring to affect him more… hitting harder than you’d know. You nibble on your bottom lip in concern and furrow your eyebrows,
“Well. If he’s being an idiot and isn’t gonna come to us about it then I’ll beat him up.” You place your hands on your hips, lightly joking to disperse the tense air between the two of you. Of course he isn’t being an idiot but you refuse to let him stress on his own. Elle chokes out a laugh in surprise.
“Oh god, he better run, she’s scary when she’s angry.” One of her hands let go of her bag and she hold her stomach while laughing a bit more. “Wouldn’t that be a sight?”
You scoff, “Like we haven’t argued before.”
“You argue about literal video games.”
“Stop.” You laugh and push at her shoulder. “Oh, and Elle, you know I’m your friend and if you ever need an ear to lend about college talk or need help to get your mind off of it to just relax, you got me.” She stares at you for a few beats before cracking into a grin.
“Thank you, Y/N. You know you got me too.”
Outside the school building you’re quick to spot two familiar figures by the gate. “Yes, he’s here!” Your arms raise in celebration then instantly flop down, “There’s no bike…!”
Elle calls out which makes the two boys stiff in seconds.
“Get your butts over here, Mr. Xu and Mr. Spring!” They awkwardly crane their necks to your direction and simultaneously sigh in relief – probably thinking you were teachers.
“You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Tao exclaims as you and Elle once you’re right infront of the two, gesturing to his heart. Elle is quick to place a hand over his chest – Tao’s cheeks lowkey reddening but you decide not to point it out for his sake – and her eyes widen a bit.
“Tao, your chest is gonna shoot out your chest.”
“See?”
“That is the goal, sire.” You finger gun at him and he smacks your hand away lightly with an exasperated look. It makes you giggle. “Elle is just feeling a little silly today.”
“It’s my agenda.” She grins before engulfing Charlie into a hug and he squeaks in surprise before squeezing her back. “Hello, Charlie!”
“Are you sure your heart isn’t pounding because you’ve gotten your daily dose of Elle?” You whisper while stepping in line next to Tao, facing your head to your other friends but you can see him tense at the corner of your eye.
He pinches his nose bridge, mumbling and you catch some of the words, suspiciously sounding like him saying he’s gonna fight you. His cheeks bloom a rosy rose so you take the win either way and smugly smirk at him.
“Hi, Elle!” His muffled laugh catches your attention, making you and Tao smile at the interaction before you wrap an arm around the latter, making him eyeroll, of course he does, but he wraps an arm around your shoulder and gives you a light squeeze in response.
“We best be off on our merry way,” You speak up, checking the time as the two friends let go of eachother. “I wanna stop by that new shop that opened a few weeks ago… Is that fine, Char?”
He gives you a thumbs up and Elle speaks, “Let me know how their desserts taste, I’ve been wondering but honestly they don’t look that good so…” She stares at you with a grimace before shrugging.
“Noted~” You say in a singsong voice before wrapping your arms around Charlie. “I’ll call you later, enjoy your afternoon date.” You and Charlie give the couple teasing grins and they take the bait, looking away in shyness but Tao takes the initiative and connects their hands together. It makes you melt.
“Shut up.” He groans, snapping but tone very much unthreatening adding on the fact he’s trying to cover his flustered face with his free hand.
“Yes, yes grumpy old man, we’ll see you later.” You and Charlie waist no time to start down the road with waves.
“Bye!” He shouts.
“I’m not a grumpy old man!” Tao stomps his foot, comedically. Right. How could you make that mistake?
“Bye, Y/N and Charlie!” Elle laughs with a wave and tugs her totally-not-grumpy boyfriend off in the other direction. You watch their hands tighten around eachother, squinting in amusement when Tao’s scowl instantly softens into a lovestruck gaze.
“Ahhh, young love.”
“You’re starting to sound like the old one here.” Charlie snickers, hands coming up to hold onto your forearms that are still bounded around him.
“You wound me, Char.” You squeeze him and he huffs. “I literally think the same when you and Nick are interacting, it’s so,” You make weird noises, fingers wiggling. “Y’know? Very sweet. Very cute, I even have some photos of you latching onto eachother while sleeping. Wanna see-?”
His brain feels like it’s shutting down, lightly smacking your arm when you lift it as to grab your phone. “Stop it.” You could practically see those animated stars swirling around his head and laugh.
You relent and unwrap your arms with a cheeky smile. He glances at you before hiding his face in his hands. “Ughh, whatever. You act like you don’t jump Nick the minute you see him.” Yeah, that’s crazy. You feel your own cheeks flaring up.
“You must be blind.”
“No, no, no. Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Lie!” He exclaims in a joking tone, uncovering his face and poking you in accusation. You lean away, losing your balance and forcing yourself to lean on your tippy toe. Your other foot comes down onto pavement with a stomp and you twirl like you’re dancing. Charlie definitely notices this misstep, doesn’t say anything but you see his shoulders shaking in silence. He’s laughing.
“I never lie?” You pick off the conversation.
“Was that a question?” He tilts his head back at you.
“No?”
He stares at you, eyebrow twitching and you puff out your cheeks like a frog, looking anywhere but in his direction. “You’re awfully cheeky today.”
“How am I being cheeky?” He gives you a look like you’re being ridiculous.
“Charlie Spring is a little cheeky today, my oh my, what have I done to deserve this.” Then you raise your voice in a slight yell, “Ahhh! Who is this?! This isn’t my Charlieeee…!” Your arms reach for the sky.
“You’re an idiot.” He takes the chance and poke you again which makes you yelp. You narrow your eyes. He runs off, you chase.
That was last week. You haven’t seen your boyfriend in a couple of days and it’s concerning. He responds hours late to your messages, doesn’t even respond in your group chat with Charlie, his calls barely last ten minutes and you literally haven’t seen this man in person. Charlie tells you he still shows up at school but his eye-bags are pretty bad.
“Is he avoiding me? I’m confused.” You frown, balled up on Charlie’s bed and feeling very mixed. A little annoyed, a little sad, and alot of worried. Charlie sets down two mugs on his bedside table and sits next to you on the bed. His rests a hand atop of your head and lightly taps it.
“No… I don’t think so. I see him at school and he tries to act normal but even he doesn’t respond to me like that outside of school.” The scowl his face makes has deepened and you’re quick to wrap an arm around his leg in comfort. He lets out a weak smile but it’s quick to fall off his face. “I’m confused too…”
You both stay silent, it’s nearly deafening. “I don’t wanna force him to tell us anything – I mean, he knows he can come to us if he needs it but if he’s really stressed about school maybe we can help give him some space to not think about it. Even if its only for a bit, you know?” Charlie listens to you mumble while tugging at a loose thread on his sweater and nods slowly, eyes lost in thought.
“Should we go somewhere?” He tilts his head back to look at the ceiling before his gaze travels around his room’s walls, hoping to find an inkling of inspection.
“That sounds fine.” The somber feeling in the room lifts a bit when you start to grin. You shift onto your back, raising your right arm in the air and sprawl out your fingers. “We could go out, do something and eat… I kinda wanna stargaze, is that weird?”
He lets out a chuckle, glancing down at you with a teasing glint in his eyes, “Wow, you’re such a romantic, Y/N. I’m shocked.” To which you scoff.
“Well, duh. Who makes all the date plans?”
“Okay, no, that’s because you say we’re bad at planning dates – you refuse us to even be involved.”
“Charlie, Nick brought you to a dog park as a date.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“You both stayed there till nine.”
He full on laughs now, bumping you with his knee and you smack it back in retort. “No judgement though, I would do the same but that was for the whole day! Who stays at a dog park from Eleven to Nine?” He continues to laugh until they turn into giggles.
“Maybe… we’re unique.”
“True that. You didn’t even bring baby Nells, shaking my head.” To put emphasis, you shake your head and your friend has to gasp out for air. “Don’t die, now.”
“Whatever whatever.” He brings his hands to his face and rubs his cheeks in circular motion to calm himself. His face is flushed and he exhales slowly before reaching for his phone. “Do you want your drink?”
You remove your arm from his leg and sit up properly, holding on your hands and he complies, placing the mug between them. “Thank you~” You lean on the wall, flopping your legs onto Charlie’s before crossing them at the ankles – to which he sighs in annoyance and it makes you grin. “What’re you doing?”
“I’m gonna search for places to go that is nearby but not too close… you have a place in mind for stargazing?” He grabs his own mug that is black and littered with yellow stars, how ironic. You nod sleepily, slowly sipping your preferred drink and tap at the cup absentmindedly.
“Yeah, it’s near my house.”
He flicks his eyes towards you for a second.
Then goes back to typing on his phone.
“You mean it is your home.”
“Maybe.”
You smirk, he sighs and you both go back to planning. Nick honestly better be willing to get his ass dragged out of the house by his lovely girlfriend and boyfriend because money is involved and you both would be damned if he just wallows in self despair, alone.
So, that’s what happens, you fill Charlie’s parents in on needing to steal your bestfriend during the weekend and some of the plans involved like a movie night. They agreed to let him stay over for the night but he must call every few hours or atleast text.
Your parents love the boys and were completely down with the idea. Of course you also secretly called Nick’s mum and she had filled you in on a couple things that made you a tad bit more nervous to see your boyfriend.
Seems like your assumption was correct (more like Elle’s). “Lately he’s been talking about colleges, right… he’s planning to go on a trip sometime this month to check them out but he seems stressed, it’s been worrying me. You know though, kids probably don’t want their parents all in their business, haha,” She laughs softly and you can hear running water cut off on her end – probably washing something – “He knows he can come to me so I’m just letting him have his space. It’s lovely you and Charlie want to ease his mind! Glad he’s with and friends with two sweethearts,” This makes your face flare up in embarrassment but your chest puffs with pride.
“Of course, and I know he appreciates you being patient and understanding with him. The thing we don’t wanna do is pressure him… I just hope this can help take his mind off of the stress and you know… relax?” You grimace a bit, tugging at the end of your sleeve as the phone sits between your ear and shoulder.
“I get it, mhm. Thank you, Y/N.” Her voice is still soft but gets even more sincere with a hint of emotion. Had you feeling emotional too.
Saturday is quick to arrive and you stare at your reflection with determination. Brushing down your outfit, you admire your date look a bit more before turning around slowly and snatch your bag off the bed which is filled with random necessities that you may or may not need along with your wallet.
“Alright, Nick Nelson, prepare yourself for the best date you’ll ever be on.” You puff out your cheeks, grab you phone of the charger and exit your room. “I’ll be off, Mother~” You hum once you reach the end of the staircase and spot your Mom on the couch with a paper in hand.
“What is with the formal address?” She chuckles behind her hand, standing up and following you towards the front door. “I’ll see you later tonight with Nick and Charlie, right? Enjoy yourselves.” She smiles, wrapping her arms around your head and you hug her back with a gentle squeeze.
“Oh! Wait.”
She quickly unravels herself from you and speeds down the hall to the kitchen. Your eyes stare down the direction she went for a few seconds before deciding to slip on your shoes.
“Okay, here you go.” You’re standing with the door open by the time she comes back and she gives you a picnic basket. It’s not super big but you have to grab it with two hands. Less from the size, more from the weight.
“Mom. What did you pack in here?” You huff out a laugh, going to open the lid but she stops you.
“No, do not open it. It’s like… a wedding. You can’t see your spouse or it’ll be bad luck!” She speaks with a finger raised and you cock an eyebrow up. Whatever you say, Mom is basically your expression and she seems to notice because she places her hands on her hips with an exasperated look. “Just trust me, I’ve done it before and it was bad luck all day.”
“Mhm, mhm, right.” You nod, half listening and backing up on your porch. She follows, hand on the doorknob with a soft smile and she pinches your cheek with her other hand. “Thanks, I love you.”
“Love you too, honey.” She full on grins now and waves. After your ‘see you later’ promises, you’re quick to dart down the street and across the roads to a nearby park where Charlie said he’d meet you after picking up Nick. It gives you enough time to unload the nice lunch packed for the three of you and hopefully buy some refreshing popsicles or ice creams before they arrive.
Seems like luck is on your side though – maybe your Mom was right – because the minute you finish laying out the huge blanket in a nice shaded area you hear the sound of someone ringing a familiar bell sound. You turn your head so quick it nearly gave you whiplash and your eyes widen at the person walking along the park’s path, pushing a white squared cart decorated with photos of different types of cold treats.
You take your bag and phone, dialing Charlie’s number while speedwalking across the grassy field. It takes two rings before you hear his voice.
“Yes, partner in crime?” His voice comes off as staticky for a moment.
“What the hell are you doin’, your mic is scuffed as hell…”
“I’m walking!” You could imagine the eyeroll Charlie would do and bite your cheek to not laugh.
“Are you with Nick?” You continue to talk but smile in greeting when the ice cream seller stops at you coming over. He says hello and you wave before looking over all the choices on the cart.
“Yes. We’re grabbing drinks right now, you okay?”
“Yeah! I’m at the park, set up the picnic – though the food is still in the basket,” You glance back at your spot and after making sure nothing seems out of the ordinary you look back at the cart. “You remember those ice cream cart things? You want something?”
It’s silent between the two of you as Charlie ponders, in the meantime you point to your desired choice and the guy nods with a smile, opening the ice cream cart before digging around in the pile of cold desserts until he finds the one you want.
“Do they-“ He cuts himself off with a chuckle and you perk up at his voice, “Do they um,” He snorts this time then sighs to calm himself, “The ones with the bubblegum eyes. I wanna try one.”
You laugh a little, thanking the ice cream man as he sets the packaged treat in your hand. “Do you want the sonic one or something?”
“Whatever you spot first or whichever is given. Oh wait- Nick-“ You zone out a bit as he speaks to the blond and point to the blue hedgehog. The ice cream man continues his search. “He said he wants the crybaby ice cream.”
“Oh god.” You sigh in adoration, tilting your head back to the clear blue sky. “Weren’t they, like, terrible the last time we tried them?”
This time you hear Nick’s cheerful voice and he scoffs, “Okay, no. That was because for some weird reason you and Darcy wanted to put warheads into the mix.”
“Thank you,” You say to the nice man, grabbing a ten and a five dollar bill as a tip out of your wallet with a smile. You then put all the treats into your bag along with the wallet, waving the man bye which he returns and goes on his merry way. Your focus goes back to the two boys. “Ah yes, I remember the part where your face went sooo red. Hilarious, I have videos I think.”
He groans in prospect and you hear muffled giggles erupt from Charlie. “Why do you do this to me?”
“What are you talking about?” You tease and he groans again.
Charlie then speaks up, sounding way closer to the phone. “Alright! We’ll see you in two-point-five seconds.” You hum in response and say your goodbyes before hanging up the phone.
You reach the blanket again, flopping on your tush and take the ice creams out, aligning them with precision on top of the picnic basket. Charlie doesn’t disappoint because not two minutes later you see two familiar figures walking down the park path, one of them pointing towards your general direction and ditching the path to the grass.
You could feel your heart pound from… nervousness or excitement? Maybe both and it makes you grin, waving at the two. They get closer and Charlie waves awkwardly with a hand that has a drink in it, to which you notice his other hand also had a drink… and one of Nick’s. The blond’s other hand is carrying headbands of some sort and a bag is hanging off his arm.
“Char told me to get these while we were in the grocery store.” Nick speaks first when they get to you, he lifts the hand with headbands. “I decided not to question it.” You raise your hands and he carefully sets the accessories in them. Ah. Barbie headbands.
“Charlie…” Your brows pinch in amusement but also bewilderment. “What have you decided?”
He chuckles mysteriously, lifting a foot off the ground to point at your hand. “Put those down and take your drink, please. My hands are freezing.”
“Oops.” You comply and take the cup. The two eventual settle down with Nick in the middle and you quietly take a nice sip of the beverages. “Thank you.”
The boys nod and you glance at Nick, noticing the shadows of bags under his eyes. It makes you frown for a second, “So, what am I doing here on this lovely day.” Before you could inquire, Nick speaks up first, eyes shutting in contentment and a pretty smile adoring his face.
You lean back on the palm of your hand, eyeing Charlie and he meets your gaze. “Can we not want to hang out with the one and only, Mr. Nick Nelson?” You speak with a teasing tone, leaning into his side. His smile goes wider and he opens his eyes to meet yours.
“You make me sound like some big shot.”
Your eyes narrow.
“Well it was hard to reach you… so…” His gaze falters along with his smile, nervously tapping the top of his cup. “Not to pressure you, you know that but Charlie and I will always be there to listen if you need it.” You poke his arm gently and you spot Charlie’s hand sliding into Nick’s.
“Yeah.” Charlie nods, squeezing their hands, “But if not, that’s fine too. Y/N and I wanted to just, relax with you. Spend some time together.”
That makes Nick let out a shaky laugh and a wobbly smile. “Thanks.” He pauses. “Really. It’s just been, crazy?” He nibbles at his bottom lip before sighing and flops on his back, leaving his cup between his crossed legs and dragging the two of you down with him – which makes you all share a laugh.
Charlie rests against his boyfriend’s chest – facing his direction and you flip onto your stomach to play with both of their soft locks. “What has?” You ask softly.
He’s silent for a bit, tapping his fingers on your back with his free hand. “I’m not sure, school? Life? …Me? There’s no exact reason, everything just seems to be crashing down in my brain and it’s annoying to say the least.” He sighs heavily, “I’m probably just having that kind of month where everything is just feels like alot.” He frowns and you move the hand in his hair down under his chin, gently squeezing his cheeks and he chuckles.
“That’s perfectly fine, it happens.” You move the hand to trail up the left side of his face and place your palm over his forehead like you’re checking his temperature and it makes Charlie join in, prodding at Nick’s neck gently.
“There’s a lot going through your life right now, perfectly understandable why it feels overwhelming and such. Thank you for talking to us about it.” Charlie speaks softly.
“Of course. I don’t,” Nick pauses, opening his eyes with a flash of worry, “I don’t want it to feel like I’m shutting you both out or anything, or if it feels like you’ve done something wrong. I feel less weird thinking I’m overreacting, haha…” The laugh comes off flat but from the reassuring smiles from his lovers, he feels at ease.
“You’re not.”
“Nuh-uh.” You and Charlie speak simultaneously, denying such thoughts. It makes Nick laugh which sounds less forceful.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to talk about everything right now since I don’t even think I’m done… accessing everything but really, thank you. You both are my anchors.” If you didn’t tear up from that, your heart definitely did. Charlie gets up off Nick, letting go of the blond’s hand and tilts his head back with his hands over his face.
“Same, Charlie.” You cover your own face and lay flat against the blanket.
“I…” Nick trails off with another laugh and he sits back up which catches both of your attention. “Can we eat though, I’m getting a little hungry.” He gives a shy smile and you also sit up.
“Oh shit, what if the ice cream melted?!” This realization has the three of you shooting towards the basket, grabbing the packaged delights and simultaneously sigh in relief. They’re not melted… yet.
“Should we just eat these first and then eat the actual lunch next?” Charlie bites back a laugh, already opening up the plastic and pulling out the bubblegum eye Sonic, wasting no time to put it in his mouth with wide adorning eyes.
You and Nick watch him in amusement before opening your own. “I wanted this lime popsicle they usually sell but there were none.” You sigh before eyeing Nick’s container of airhead ice cream. He opens the top and it reveals the swirls of… red? Or pink and green.
“That’s funny, we saw those while we were at the store. There were these coconut flavors too.” Nick reminisces, plucking the taped but wrapped in it’s own plastic wooden spoon off the side of the ice cream container.
Charlie hums before looking down at the bitten into Sonic, “Why does Sonic have green eyes? Are they actually green?”
You all stay silent.
“I thought they were black or brown?” You speak in confusion.
“Right? Even blue….” Charlie tilts his head.
“Technically all of those are correct though they turn red as well… It’s the different franchises, I guess?” Nick furrows his brows in thought, scooping into his sour treat after freeing the wooden stick and eats away, wincing here and there. You watch with amusement.
The lunch date you can say with absolute certainty was very successful. You all catch up on things that have been going on and different shows you’ve been watching. Sharing ice cream, stuffing yourselves full with your Mom’s cooking – there was even a drink war? All you knew was one minute you were nearly done with your beverage and the next it’s being tossed in Nick’s direction as you try and run away from Charlie’s retort from you getting him seconds before. Ah, can’t forget the classic kisses shared under one of the many trees at the park and the newest photos stored in your ‘Nick & Char ❤️’ album, like the picture of Charlie ‘painting’ Nick’s face with whip cream. Where the fuck did you get whip cream from? Ask your mother.
Around the time you were all packing up, a teenager around your age ran up with their four other friends and inform you there is a nice walking trail – pointing towards the area where the park path splits, one continuing into a circle around the whole field and the other going into an area with rows of trees.
“Y’think we’ll get jumpscared? Like a haunted path or something.” You joked.
“They said there’s a nice stream down the path.” Nick smirks at your joking, placing a hand on your head and you puff out your cheeks, feeling them heat up a bit.
“Ah yes, you can take a nice swim in it when I push you in there, Y/N.” Charlie hums, quick to dart his eyes away when you flip your head in his direction.
“You’re so evil to me?” You watch him with wild eyes, mouth agape and he laughs.
“Do you think we’ll actually able to get in?” Nick ponders and you flip the wild gaze to him now.
“With us three, I’m sure we can pull it off.” Charlie responds with a menacing grin, mischief all up in his eyes and you’re playing ping pong with your eyes, flitting back and forth between them.
“I’m gonna be arrested today, huh…” Your boyfriend and bestfriend just giggle like evil people.
In the end, you three didn’t get in the stream’s water but there were some fishes so you decided to feel them the crust that Charlie didn’t eat from his sandwich and take some more photos. Nick had picked Charlie up bridal-style, getting dangerously close to the water and you record it all.
“Don’t drop me!” Charlie tightens his hold around Nick, fear and excitement in his tone.
“This takes me back to the beach…” Nick ignores his boyfriend’s pleas and spins around carefully.
“Do not reminisce while I’m in your arms, please and thank you?!” He exclaims and it makes you full on laugh, an arm over your stomach while watching the whole exchange happen.
It’s not long before it turns from afternoon to evening, you three return back from the area with Nick and Charlie debating on if they saw a deer or not. Charlie saying it was definitely there and Nick saying it wasn’t there.
“Carl Grimes flashbacks…” You hum and Charlie puts you in a headlock.
“Do not. I will cry right here.” He pouts and pulls at your cheeks, ignoring your protests. Nick watches with a soft gleam in his eyes, rocking the picnic basket back and forth with a hand.
You all walk down the sidewalk side by side once Charlie lets you go, talking about random things before Nick realizes the direction you’re going.
“Are we dropping Y/N off?” He frowns.
It catches you and Charlie off guard. “What? What makes you think that?” You raise an eyebrow. Nick points ahead and your house in slowly coming up in view. Ah.
“Ah.” Charlie speaks your thought and you both share a laugh. “No, we’re not dropping her off.” Charlie stretches his arms with a grunt before eyeing the bag strapped around Nick. “You brought pajamas and clothes for tomorrow, right?”
Nick nods, pursing his lips. “Still confused about that.”
You scoff in amusement and place a hand on your forehead with an endearing smile. “Nick…”
“Don’t worry, you’ll understand soon.” Charlie gives him a thumbs up, paired with a wink before darting ahead of the two of you. Nick flicks his gaze to you in question but you put on an act and shrug.
“What he said,” You pause for a moment, eyes burning into Nick’s, “Do you like stargazing?”
He moves closer to you, closing the gap and tugs your hand in his. The question makes him look up at the sky for a moment. “Mmm. Never tried it before? What counts as stargazing? I’ve… been in the car on trips and looked out the window…?” You give him a perplexed look which he returns.
“Alright, well-“ You chuckle, “That can… technically count? I guess? Just… Yeah.” You give up midway, tugging Nick along when you get closer to the front of your house where Charlie awaits. “You’re on your phone while you’re on a date? Tsk tsk.” You tut your lips in disapproval and Charlie startles.
He rolls his eyes, flipping his phone to the two of you bounding up the steps. “I was texting Saha- oops, hold on-“ He cuts himself off, flipping the phone back around with a nervous smile.
You glance at Nick before moving your hand to cover his eyes with your other hand. He gasps in surprise but doesn’t question it any further, grinning a bit. Facing back to Charlie you mouth the word, ‘Barbie?’ and tilt your head in confusion. He nods.
“You’re silly.” You remove your hand from Nick’s face and flatten your hand, tapping Charlie’s forehead in a chopping motion. He rubs the area with a laugh and you knock on your front door.
“Did you forget your keys?” Nick giggles when you give him a look of shame.
“Maybe.”
Your Mom is quick to open the door, grinning widely. “Welcome back. Hello, Charlie and Nick.” They wave in shyness and she scoots back to let the three of you in. “What’s the plan next, soldier?” She bumps the door closed with her hip and loosely crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow at you specifically.
“Gonna go in the back for about an hour…” You trail off, taking your shoes off in the most complicated way. With your feet, or the heels per-say. When you finish you take the basket from Nick and walk to the kitchen with your mom as the boys finish taking off their own shoes. “To stargaze.” You finally finish when Nick’s ears are out of reach.
She pats you on the back with approval, “Attagirl. How was lunch?”
“It was fun! We spoke a bit, ate and went down a trail.” You bounce your head to the side while listening the activities before pausing. “He seems more… energized?” Your lips purse.
“Was that a question?” She leans against the counter, one arm coming out of the self-hug and she combs her hand through your hair. You give her an awkward look and she breathes out a laugh. Tapping the crown of your forehead, she moves away to the fridge with a soft smile. “Well, if he seems to be uplifted,” She eyes you before taking out three water bottles. “That’s great news, no?” Then sets them infront of you on counter.
“You’re right but… I don’t know. I just feel like I can do more,” You huff. “But that’s dumb because of course I can’t, this has to be something Nick figures out and all I can do is support him.”
“Honey, that is doing more for him. Supporting him is the biggest help you can five someone, along with what you’re already doing. Taking him out, letting him have space to clear his mind and being a safe net. Same thing with Charlie, no?“ Her hands latch onto your shoulders and give the muscles a gentle squeeze. “I know it feels like you want to do so much more but, there’s only so much.” You tilt your head back and look up at her with a half-smile before relenting.
“You’re right.”
“A mother is always right.” She lets go and moves towards the stove, giving you a smug side eye… which you return with an unamused eyeroll.
“Yes, yes. My mother is always right. Sometimes.”
“About ninety-nine percent.”
“Ninety-five…” You lift an eyebrow and give her pointed look. She has a spoon in her hand when she looks over you and points it to her chin in thought, it’s just a bit though.
“Ninety-seven. Take it or leave it.”
You scoff in amusement before scooping up the bottles, “Whatever you say, ma’am. We’ll be outside.” She hums in understanding and you exit out the kitchen, walking into the dining room before reaching the living room where the duo waits.
“Pleasure for you to join us.” Charlie smirks and takes two of the bottles from your arms with a nod of thanks.
“Be welcomed.” Nick muses with a grin and cracks open the bottle, taking a quick refreshing sip.
“What is this speech? I hate it.” Your face scrunches up in disgust before gesturing to the sliding glass door. “Shall we?”
“Look who’s doing it now…” Charlie stares at you cheekily. You give him the finger, he returns it.
There are slides in a shoe rack near the door and you three take a pair before stepping out. Nick’s eyes widen in wonder. Your backyard has a big blanket – similar to the one from the picnic – sitting in the middle of the area that has a plot of grass and lanterns that hang off metal rods sit nicely around in the grass that have curves at the end, doing nicely as handles. What surprises you are the little bugs that fly and flicker with a yellow-green gleam in the air.
“Since when do we get fireflies?” You speak first.
“Since forever, Y/N.” Charlie poked your back and you jump, flipping around to get him back but he’s already slipped behind Nick.
“You little…”
“Ah, ah ah, you have to be nice to me.”
“Says who?” He’s being ridiculous.
“Says me. Your bestfriend.” He peaks around Nick’s side – who, mind you, is still focusing on the backyard’s look – with a teasing grin.
“I’mma beat you up.”
“No!” He lets out a laugh when you lunge towards him, twirling out of your reach and running around with you flailing behind.
It felt special to Nick. The orange-red sky turning into it’s pitch dark blue color, stars twinkling down on you three with a full moon bright. His eyes are stuck on his two partners, the fireflies swirling around them out of disturbance but still they still decorate the backyard with green-yellow hues, not ready to leave. He remembers this conversation you had in this backyard a year ago…
“Do you think fireflies come around this area?” You were sitting on a bean bag, legs tucked beneath yourself and were practically sunken into the ‘seat.’ Charlie had insisted you to put it on the concrete side of the backyard so you did and now your face is hidden behind Nick’s switch in your hands.
Speaking of who, Nick is currently soaked wet, wringing out the ends of his shirt and Charlie wraps himself up in a towel. It’s late night, pitch dark but they wanted to play with water balloons and your Mom happened to be out of the house to pick up dinner.
“Maybe…” He leans back to look at the sky. “Why? Do you like fireflies or something?” He looks back down at you. The question has you silent for a couple of beats before you set down the console. He watches you with an amused twinkle in his gaze, puffing out his chest in pride at seeing you in his sweater. Charlie had been wearing it earlier and you both traded before they brought out the balloons.
“I mean, I have never seen any so, maybe, maybe not.” You shrug, unfolding your legs and stretching them out with a groan. Your socked feet slap down against the concrete and you sit up a bit. “Don’t you think they’re kinda special though? My Mom said it’s like they’re glowing up your night, dancing around you and stuff.” You eye the floor. “Appearing on specials occasions like they know,” You lean back into the seat with a sigh, “Said that’s how she got married. Isn’t that crazy?”
Charlie purses his lips, tilting his head to the side before smiling, “Sounds magical. They’re the ‘true love’ bugs.” His smile widens into a grin.
“Exactly!” You snap your fingers with a nod, bumping your heel against the stone pavement.
“I’m sure they do appear out here though, don’t they come out at Midnight?” Charlie shivers while speaking, hugging the towel around himself tighter. You sympathize with a playful grin.
“Maybe. But well, you boys should get inside and warm up. We’ll try next time.”
“Nick! Are you gonna come and lay down?” He snaps out of his head, eyes darting to you and Charlie lying on the blanket though Charlie is trying to tap out from a leg lock you have him in.
He snorts in surprise, not missing a beat and closing the distance. “How the hell did this happen?”
“Nick! Help me~” Charlie wails before pinching your thigh, making you yelp and quickly let go.
“That is cheating!” You exclaim, rubbing your leg with a wince.
“All’s fair in war.” He snickers, reaching a hand out to Nick who takes it and sits down between you two.
It’s a nice silence between the three of you, you’re not sure who laid down first but you eventually followed. Nick has his arms wrapped around the two of you and you’ve glanced up at his face which shows contentment. You even met his gaze while peeking and it caught you off guard with how much his brown orbs were filled with much love and affection.
You reach a hand out towards Charlie and tussle at curls, making him whine in protest but lets you continue anyway. “I’m not good with constellations so you’re not gonna be getting that during this stargaze adventure.” You mumble against Nick with a laugh and it makes the other two chuckle.
“Nah, that’s alright… I’m happy with this…” You and Charlie freeze at how soft Nick’s voice sounds. Serene. Content. More than happy but not quite ecstatic. Filled with much love directed towards the two of you and it has your heart pounding.
You sit up on your elbow, making Nick’s arm slip off of you and he eyes you with suspicion. “Actually…” This would be way more comfortable on your knees so you sit up, tuck your calves beneath you and cuff Charlie’s face into your hands. It’s nearly laugh worthy of how quick his face turns a deep red and how you felt it happen under your touch.
You lean forward, careful not to face-plant into him – that would be awkward… and painful – pressing your lips against him. You both move into a soft but passionate rhythm. Your thumb brushes against his dusted cheeks, pressing hard against his lips one final time before moving back with a dazed grin.
He returns it, chuckling shyly before meeting Charlie’s intense gaze. You choke back a laugh with the swiftness of your friend sliding up a bit, hand softly cupping the side of Nick’s face and sharing their own kiss. Also very slow, and passionate. Your tilt your head up towards your house, eyeing the sliding door and sigh in relief to not see your Mom near it. By the time your gaze returns you’re meeting with the two boys staring at you with flushed faces.
“Oh my god, you’re so red.” You laugh.
“Shut up?” Charlie hands an arm over his face, probably burning up a bit more from the teasing.
The fireflies have died down, some still hanging around but you notice most are gone and a smile tugs at your lips. “Wanna go inside now?”
Charlie removes his arm with a sharp inhale and the two nod. “Do you need to bring the blanket in?” He points to the cloth when you all stand and you’re quick to shake your head.
“Nah. I’ll grab and wash it tomorrow,” You stretch your limbs, hearing some pop. “I need new bones…”
Nick sticks his tongue out in playful disgust, “That sounds horrific.”
“Wouldn’t that be crazy though? If we needed to trade in new bones when we’re old and seniors.”
“Y/N.” Charlie’s eyebrows bend and he grimaces, “Why do you come up with the most freaky scenarios.” It’s not a question.
“Yeah, like the apocalypse one from before.” Nick pitches in with a frown that falters into a smile.
You all step into the living room after you’re done turning off the lanterns and have grabbed your bottles, “Because my brain is so amazing that I just think of things you would never think of.” You make a gesture to your brain before wiggling your fingers like you’ve done a magic trick.
“Or so you say…” Charlie glances somewhere else before meeting your eyes, “Less would never think of more, shouldn’t think of.” He flicks his hand towards you, thumb and index finger out in a finger gun.
“Hey, these could be real life events soon to happen.”
“Yeah the bones theory would happen when we all become immortal.” He chuckles and you roll your eyes.
Then boom, jumpscare. Your Mom appears just as you’re settling on the couch. A screech leaves all of your mouths and she stares in shock with mild confusion and amusement.
“Hello to you three, too.” She giggles, walking over to the glass door, tugging the lock between the handle down and pulls the thick curtains down. “Enjoy stargazing?” She turns back around with a soft smile.
You three shift your gazes away. Apparently it wasn’t just you that still had the intimate moment in the back of your brain, huh? “Yeah, thanks Mom.”
If she noticed the slight awkwardness building up, she doesn’t mention it nor show it and instead clasps her hands together, “That’s wonderful! Dinner is finished so feel free to grab whatever you want. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” She fills you in on her own plan for the night which is pretty much staying in her room so you all have your own time. She then tilts her head, eyes spacing out until she perks up, “And then there’s brownies that are baking, should be finished soon. I set a timer so when you hear it please take it our for me, Y/N.”
You nod before frowning, “Why does it have to be me?” Apparently she didn’t understand from the confusion crossing her face. You then point to Charlie and Nick.
Charlie looks offended, “We are a guest?” but his tone is light.
“You practically live here? Your clothes are in my closet, mind you.” Nick and your Mom choke out a laugh while Charlie flares up, flustered.
“Nick’s are too?!”
“Which is why I included him in my pointing?!”
Two people are bickering, two people laughing at the scene. It doesn’t take long for you Mom to calm you both down, “It doesn’t matter who, it doesn’t matter if it’s all three of you. Please just don’t let them burn.” She chuckles a bit more before rubbing her hand against her collarbone to calm herself, “Have a great time. I’ll be in my room.” You all wave her ‘goodnight’ and she retreats upstairs.
You three share a silence. Then Nick speaks,
“…So what exactly are we doing? It seems you both are full of surprises today,” He wears a teasing look which makes you and Charlie look away.
“Don’t worry about it, mister. You enjoy the ride.” You talk first before nudging Charlie with your leg. “You put the movie on, I’ll go make our plates and...” You eye Nick for a moment not knowing what he should do.
“Nick, I put the backpack in Y/N’s room, could you go get it while we set up? Oh! The headbands too.” Charlie pitches in and grins at the mention of the headbands. You and Nick blink at him before standing up to dart down your own paths.
While you’re making the plates the oven timer does go off. You take a toothpick from one of the drawers, flick on the oven light, open the oven – making you flinch back from the heat – then poke the dark chocolate fudge goodness. It has baked all the way so you grab oven mitts and drag the pan of brownies out of it’s cooker, sets it on the stove and flick turn the oven off.
After making sure everything was set in the kitchen you grab two plates and exit the kitchen, back into the living room where the movie is paused on the TV right before it begins. Charlie stands up and helps grab the two plates, letting you dart back into the kitchen again for the last one just in time for Nick to return.
“Do you want drinks? We got juices, sodas, water, you name it.” You peak your head out behind the dining room wall and the two boys pause midway in putting on the barbie headbands. You bite your lip to hold back a laugh.
“Do you have that tropical mix?” Nick speaks and you nod, he points at you in affirmation of the drink then finishes adjusting the plastic accessory around his hair.
“Root beer, please.” Charlie speaks next before his eyes shine open and wide, “Do you think we can have floats…”
Your eyebrows perk up, “I think we have vanilla? But you’re not getting that till the brownies cool down.”
“Oh, they’re out? Thank Barbie.” He holds his hands up in a prayer.
You stare at him, very much unamused and he gives you a cheeky grin.
“I’ll have tropical juice for now then.”
With a thumbs up you return to the kitchen once more, grabbing three tall glass cups from the cabinet and grab the carton juice out the fridge. You fill up two cups before staring at your own. After deciding your choice of drink, you put everything away and startle while turning around and seeing Nick in the doorway.
“Sorry,” He smiles apologetically, walking up to you and grabbing the cups filled with juice that is his and Charlie’s. He catches you off guard once again, planting a soft kiss on your cheek before bounding off to the living room again.
“What the fuck.” You stand in oblivion, feeling your face heat up. You decide you won’t unpack that tonight, flicking off the kitchen light and rejoining your movie mates.
Nick and Charlie had switched spots to where the blond was in the middle like he had been all day and your boyfriend pats the free spot next to him. You comply, setting your cup on the table while sitting and you lean into Nick with a soft smile.
“You forgot this, kind ma’am.” Charlie grabs the plastic pink band and you lean forward. He puts it on carefully and leans back with a self-satisfied expression, grabbing the remote with a quite cheer. “Are we ready for the best movie night ever?”
You and Nick watch him with amusement, “Yes, Charles, we are.”
“Not Charles, I will fight you.” He shivers at the name.
“You call me Nicholas?” Nick speaks. It makes you laugh.
“It’s your real name.” He grins.
“Is Charles not your real name, Char?” You lift an eyebrow and he rolls his eyes, still wearing the grin.
“No, it is ‘Charlie “Char” Spring’.”
You let out an insufferable sigh.
“Y’know, Y/N has called me ‘Luke’ before.” Nick leans his head back with a scoff. This makes you have a full on belly laugh which makes Charlie react the same way. “Yes, yes laugh it away.” He sighs like he’s in pain.
It takes five minutes to calm down. You wipe a precious tear away, “It was on call too and he hung up. Would not answer for like, an hour.” You inhale deeply at the memory before laughing again.
“Should we start calling him Luke as a nickname?”
“Please, please don’t.” Nick squeezes the arm wrapped around Charlie’s waist with a pleading look.
“Awwe you can’t do that.” He pouts, reaching up to pinch Nick’s face.
“Dho wha?” He sounds funny with Charlie tugging at his face.
“The puppy eyed look. The doe eyes.” You bat your eyelashes at Nick when he eyes you from the corner of his eyes before rolling them.
“We’ve gone all dahy withosut this, nowh yuu wanna shtart?” Now he’s the one doing the insufferable sighing.
“It’s a daily mission.” Charlie nods, a serious expression crossing his looks – putting on an act. He then lets go and grabs the remote again, “Movie time!”
“Movie time!” You cheer afterwards.
You three are silent for a bit as the movie plays, you and Charlie cuddling into Nick. He plants soft kisses down your face and you flush a bit. Then he moves to Charlie, repeating the action, who giggles quietly and eyes Nick with a shy look. It makes you laugh under your breath and Charlie doesn’t miss it, pointing to you with a brow raised and expression saying, ‘Don’t laugh at me when you’re acting the same.’ You look away.
“Hey,” Nick suddenly speaks up and the two of you look over. “Thanks for today. It really helped calm me down…” He continues to train his eyes on the TV but his ears burn from you and Charlie giving him your undivided attention. “And reassured me about a few things…” He purses his lips.
“Reassured?” Charlie asks quietly, as if afraid to make Nick snap his mouth shut and not speak again.
Nick sucks in a breath and you shiver from his fingers crawling up your arm. You watch Charlie lift his own hand and hold the arm wrapped around him.
“Yeah. Since everything felt like it was crashing down, I don’t know. It kinda made me feel… negative? About certain stuff. Between us. Not that I’m not happy, I’m more than thankful to be with you two but just like, how you both felt towards me…” His pursed lips flatten and your brows bend at the way his eyes dim.
“Breaking up with me for example because maybe you felt neglected or such. It made me so scared to think about I stopped responding to both of your messages most of the time and barely wanted to call because you know, what if one day you just went, ‘Yeah I don’t think we should be together,’ such and such.” You both stay quiet to let him speak his mind and you hate that he ever thought such things.
When Nick stays silent you take a sharp inhale, meeting eyes with Charlie’s glossed ones. The sight breaks your heart. “Nick…” You start off carefully and he looks over to you with so much exhaust. Slowly, you cuff his face – the same way you did outside – brushing your thumbs against him cheeks. Your right hand moves down, playfully you press your thumb against his bottom lip and smile gently.
“I’m sorry that you ever felt that way. It’s far from the truth, sweetheart.” He lets out an airy chuckle and you watch with adoration. “Y’know brains come up with the craziest scenarios when you’re stressed and it’s annoying, and stupid.” You huff, left hand moving against his cheek and he leans into the touch. Your thumb and index finger latch onto his ear and you pinch it lightly. “Do you know that, that would never happen unless you came to me asking for such a thing?” You pucker out your lips.
He watches you in a daze before laughing. “Do you know that would never happen?” Then he turns to Charlie with a soft look. “And you, Char?”
Charlie rubs at his reddening eyes and inhales. He then nods, opening his mouth before faltering. You both give him and moment and he closes his eyes in frustration before heaving out a sigh. Concern is evident in both of your expressions but Charlie opens his eyes with a new look of determination, straight at Nick.
He smacks his hands against Nick’s shoulders which makes the latter’s mouth hang open in surprise. “Nick. I love you. A lot. It hurts to know that you were dealing with these emotions, but know I’m not blaming you. How could I? It’s not your fault. Never feel bad for needing to take your time to sort out your own feelings and what’s going on with yourself. We’d never blame you for that because in the end, you know we have you, right?”
Nick nods and you can see his own eyes get glossy as well. Charlie then looks at you, “I love you too, Y/N, don’t tell Tao but you’re my bestfriend.” He chuckles, wiping at his eye again and you wipe at your owns.
“Hey, he can be your guy bestfriend and we wouldn’t have to fight over titles.” You wink, before leaning to Nick and kissing him softly. “I love you both, very much so. I’m glad you were able to talk to us, Nick.”
“Was that your goal today?” He grins in a joking manner, tilting his head in the crook of Charlie’s neck while entangling his fingers with yours.
“Did it work?” Charlie sniffles a bit before laughing. You laugh as well, “This is ridiculous we’re supposed to be watching Barbie and now we’re sobbing.”
“I give up.” You throw your head back, side eyeing the TV.
“Nooo, don’t give up.” Nicks chuckles before sitting upright. “We can still watch… we should probably eat too.” He points to the lonely plates on the table.
“True.” You and Charlie agree. You three take a moment to collect yourselves with a few embarrassed laughs here and there before settling back down.
“What’s in the bag, by the way?” You gesture to the backpack under the coffee table as Charlie rewinds the movie back to the beginning. He glances down.
“Snacks.”
“It’s good.” You hum in approval, taking a bite of your food. The three of you enjoy the movie and dinner, later on making those root beer floats paired with the brownies. Charlie had explained to Nick that he was texting Sahar about the Barbie Movie and she told him she went with Imogen. Apparently, Imogen gives the movie a 2/10 because she messed up her outfit at the theaters.
“That’s terrible.” Nick stares at Charlie in shock but it doesn’t last long with the way his lips curve into a smirk, “That’s not her real rating though, is it?”
“Of course not, she loved it.” Charlie laughs.
You’ve been quiet this whole time but suddenly loll your head to face them. Nick already giving you an exasperated look when you got their attention. “Nick. Your new name in my phone is Ken Nelson.”
150 notes · View notes
perksofhs · 4 years
Text
‘Please forgive me, I need you baby’
Harry and the missus disagree, and as always, the missus is right but it may be too late...
It had been 3 weeks. 3 weeks since he’d left. 3 weeks since you’d last seen him. 3 weeks of unbearable pain that you could no longer endure. All you could think about was him. You’d find your mind wandering, thinking about where he was, what he was doing, and especially who he was with. The argument that ended things had started with you being jealous of one of Harry’s female friends who, although he couldn’t see it, was getting a little too touchy feely and you’d been honest and told him how you felt. The argument then turned nasty, misguided accusations from both sides. You’d always trusted him and he’d always trusted you but in a fight you’d both bring up things from the past to back up your stupid arguments and this time it was too much and he couldn’t take it.
“Fine then Harry do whatever you want, go call your best friend, I don’t give a fuck! I’m sure she’ll love the attention that she seems to so desperately crave from you!” You’d regretted it the second you’d said it but there was never any stopping you in the heat of the moment. “For fuck sake! You bring her up all the time! I’d never do anything with her and I never fucking have either so stop! Do you not trust me? Is that it? 2 years, 2 years I’ve been nothing but loyal and for some reason every argument we have you throw it out there that I’m somehow going to cheat on you! I can’t take it anymore! If there’s no trust there’s no relationship!” Tears were brimming in his eyes and yours, your lip was between your teeth, physically stopping yourself from saying anything else because you knew, you knew that it was the last straw. “Don’t say that, you know I trust you, I always have, I just don’t trust her around you Harry, and I’m sorry but I just can’t see it any other way” you were now quietly sobbing. 
You’d never been the jealous type in any other relationship you’d had, but to be fair you’d never gone as deep and were never as committed to a relationship before this. You were in so deep and that scared you a little, the thought of it being taken away and you being alone again was just too much and when an argument arose you’d find yourself so shaken that you couldn’t control your insecurities and they’d just blurt out. It was strange though, Harry had women fawning over him wherever he went but none of them had ever made you insecure like this one particluar friend of his did. Mel was a tall leggy blonde, the typical LA instagram model type, and you were not that at all. You weren’t model thin or 6ft tall. You weren’t immaculately dressed in designer labels from head to toe every day. You didnt drive a luxury car or live in an expensive hill top home. You were just you. 
Unbeknownst to you, you just being you was what Harry loved the most about you. He loved that you weren’t like anyone else he had ever met. He loved that you were unequivocally yourself and you refused to change to yourself to fit a stupid mold. He loved that you didn’t give a single fuck about followers or likes or any sort of ‘public image’. His past relationships had all ended with the realisation that he was just being used, almost all of his ex girlfriend’s used him as a springboard into fame and nothing more. You were the opposite, you were grounded and real and he couldnt have bene more in love with you if he tried. He’d fallen just as hard as you had, he had planned out your future together, he could picture it all. He was so sure you were the one that he’d even bought a ring. 
“I don’t get why you think Mel would ever try anything like that with me? She knows we’re together, she even tells me how much she likes you and how much she wishes she could find something like what we have! You;re just fucking paranoid for fuck sake” Harry says, his brow furrowed in frustration and confusion. He cannot fathom why you would be so threatened by her. “Harry how can you not see how she looks at you? Or how she speaks to you or even about you! She like you and you’re fucking blind if you cannot see that!” You yell, hurt and genuinely baffled as to how he has been so oblivious to her advances. You let a sigh of frustration as the tears continue to rolls down your already mascara stained cheeks. Harry’s head was now in his hands as he tried to make sense of the argument. He was mad, upset and confused like he had never been and before you knew it he was on his feet, grabbing his keys and slamming the door behind him as he fled the small flat. 
You shake your head to stop yourself from playing that moment back for what feels like the millionth time since that night. You couldn’t stop thinking about him, about what you had and what you could have had if that night hadn’t happened. As you lay in the bed you had become pretty much attached to for the last 3 weeks your phone buzzed on your bedside table. You heart skips a beat still every time a text comes through, just hoping that its him, praying that its him, but it never is. 
Reluctantly you roll over, reaching for the phone and adjusting yourself to sit up for the first time this morning. You rub your eyes before tapping the screen and watching as your phone unlocks and revelas the message. Your heart stops as you read the 4 words on the screen. 
Harry xx: I’m coming over 
It took you a full minute to take in the words on the screen. 3 weeks of nothing and then suddenly this. It makes no sense. You quickly reel yourself back in, jumping up from the bed knowing he doesnt live far and he always texts you just before he pulls out of the driveway. You pad across the room to the nearest mirror, taking in the sight of your tangled hair and dark cirlces. You looked as you’d expect someone who hadnt slept for more than a couple of hours in 3 weeks would look. You were only in one of his soft tees, he had a drawer full at your flat, his excuse for it being ‘back up clothes just in case’, but really he knew how much you loved wearing them and he liked knowing that there was always a piece of him there all the time. 
You wandered into the living room, noticing the dirty dishes and used tissues you give the room a quick tidy. Knowing your appearance would enough of a giveaway for your state of mind without the flat giving away just how depressed you had been. After you tidy you find yourself on the couch, your head swirling in an attempt to prepare for what may be about to happen. Is he coming to officially break it off? Is he coming to make up? Is is coming back for his things? You can’t stop yourself from catastrophising the situation. The door buzzer snaps you from your thoughts and you approach the intercom. Even on the poor quality of the door cam you could see that he was tired, the bags under his eyes almost as big as yours and if you’re honest it makes you feel a little less self conscious. You press the receiver button and stutter out a “Its open” and watch as he enters the building. 
You wait by the door, your hand already on the door knob when he gently knocks. As you open the door you tak ein the sight before you, he’s in sweats,  his hair disheleved, his eyes puffy and tired. He does the same with you, he can tell immediately the state you have been in, it hurts him to see you just as tired and still just as hurt as when he walked out. He takes a quick breath in an attempt to hold in his tears before letting out a soft “Hi..”.
 “What do you want Harry?” it comes out harsher than you had wanted but he knew you had every right to be mad. “You were right. You were right about everything.” he says, tears welling in eyes. “What do you mean Harry?” you say now even more confused. “You were right about Mel! Fuck baby you were right about it all!” He says, pushing past you into the room. ‘Baby’ god how you missed him calling you that. “Let me get this straight? The last thing you said to me was that I was ‘paranoid’ and now you’re here telling me that I’m not?’ you shoot back, not wanting to immediately accept his grovelling. You could see the guilt as he dropped his head staring at his hands as he fidgeted with the rings on his fingers. “She tried to kiss me” he says, your eyes widening at the revelation. 
Harrys eyes find yours, a wave of panic comes over him “I didnt kiss her back! I promise I didn’t baby. Fuck how could I have been so fucking blind?” he proclaims, walking over to you as you remain gobsmacked by what has just been announced. “I knew it..” you whisper, looking down at the floor with teary eyes. you were amazed that your body could even produce more tears at this point. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I’m sorry I called you paranoid, you had every right to be suspicious. I’m sorry that I left you. I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry.” by this point he’s standing in front of you, desperately trying to get you to look at him. “Please forgive me, I need you baby” he says, gently clasping his fingers with yours, you instinctively grasping his much larger hand. You;d imssed his touch so much. 
You slowly trail your eyes up from ground to finally meet his similarly teary eyes. “Harry you hurt me, you really fucking hurt me” you can’t hold back the tears now. “You couldn’t see what was obvious. You made me think i was crazy. You made me doubt myself. You have to know how painful the last 3 weeks have been.” He could see how hurt you were, and it killed him to think he was the reason. “I know. And I will never be able to apologise enough. I was mad, I thought I finally had a friend who wasn’t trying to manipulate or use me. I was blind. I was stupid. And I’m sorry I didnt call you or message you. I coudlnt bare being left on read or having my calls go unanswered. I also couldnt bare the thought of hearing you cry again. I know my excuses are poor but I just couldnt take it.” tears were now rolling down his cheeks as well. He let go of your hand, rainsing his hands to gently wipe the tears from your cheeks, his gaze not leaving yours for a moment. You unwillingly melted into his touch, you were still hurt but you couldnt deny how much you wanted him to just hold you. You could tell he was genuine in his apology. “Please baby, please say you still love me. Please.” he pleads once more. 
“I never stopped loving you Harry, I could never stop loving you no matter how hard I try.” your heartbreaks the thought of him thinking you didn’t love him because there was no way you couldn’t. “I forgive you, but you have to promise me that you will never do that to me again? I’ll promise to not blow up as easily but you have to promise to believe me. I can’t go through this again. I just can’t” Harry hangs on every word you say, releife evident in his face after you say the words he has been dying to hear. He can’t help but smile “I promise, I promise I will never do that to you again, fuck I love you so much” he says cupping your face before crashing his lips on yours, the kiss expressing how much you both needed each other. You rejoice in that moment for as long as you both need to. The kiss soft yet passionate. As you pull away, your smile matches his. “I missed you baby” you say before pecking another kiss to his lips just to feel them again. 
As you pull away, you bury your face in his chest, taking in the familiar warmth, his arms engulfing you in a much needed hug. Harry presses a kiss to the top of your head, holding you closer than he ever has before, not wanting to let go. “God I love you fucking much.” He says, kissing the crown of your head once more, “I love you too Harry, so fucking much.”. 
Finally, you were both back where you belong, both of you vowing to never hurt each other again. Content. Together. 
Hi lovelies!! This has been sat in my drafts for genuinely a year, a lot has changed since last time I posted. This is yet another installment of ‘The Words You Speak” series. I love writing a bit of fluff on a Sunday! I hope you’re all keeping safe in these crazy times. Enjoy and let me know if there is anything else you want me to write! Requests are always open xx 
285 notes · View notes
justcallmetar · 2 years
Text
I haven't wrote a text post on Tumblr in a grip lmao but HNY niggas
I just wanted to reflect on my 2021 because I feel like it was probably the most interesting year of my life. I learned a lot about myself as a human being. Like so much and Im still learning which is cool. Always moving forward. I hit the one year mark staying in Indiana in my own place. I fought mad battles of depression, sleepless nights, tears, etc. Was in a serious relationship and did not end well which is normal. Im not going to be the typical person to say that it was toxic or a shitty situationship. It just did not work out like everything else and we both learned from it. I honestly never experience a heartbreak in awhile but I openly admit it was my fault. Not going into detail but whatever. I felt like I made the right decision. Besides that it was also mad shit going on lol. I was lowkey raw dogging life mentally, financially, like all the ways. I definitely don’t regret the trips I made when I wasn't suppose to, bought the dumb shit I did, etc. It seemed like this was the first year I truly experience adulthood at such a late age (in my opinion). I met so many cool people from basketball in this weird ass area of the midwest. I played so much fucking basketball dude lol. It was awesome. I would say basketball kept me sane throughout this entire year. It wasn't really gaming, or photography or whatever else I had going on. It was just the people and basketball. Definitely appreciate everyone I met and still talk to from the summer. I took a lot of walks, hiked, traveled a decent amount around here. I spent a lot of time alone man....and im cool with that. I never been by myself so much until I moved away from Ohio. I tapped into so much of myself just by being alone at the apartment, going to the gym late at night shooting around blasting music, spending nights at the office doing work, streaming when I didnt have internet. Its been such a weird but humbling experience. Im just on this bitch rambling but I dont care. Its just been awhile. Im like sitting in my chair typing this shit on my cracked MacBook hooked up to my monitor damn near about to cry because those days and nights I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it. Yes.....you read it right my g....I thought about it a lot. It doesn't help that im drinking while im typing. But anyways Im thankful for my students at my new job, the people I met, and everyone that deals with me back home. I could keep typing but I think this is a good part to leave at that. But this is just a small part of my year. A lot of experiences, a lot of emotions, a lot of loneliness, a lot of everything. Just dark and light. A lot of contrast or whatever?? I guess. Well fuck it, ill just finish it. One very important thing I learned this year is that it is okay for people to not like you. Its okay to cut close friendships off. I lost a decent a mount of people this year and Im not sad about it. I always thought people come and go anyways. Shitty way to think but its whatever to me. I was just really tired of people not realizing what the fuck was going on, people being stupid, im being thrown under the bus, people being hypocrites, etc. Very tiring. Lowkey tired of being the person to get dumped on but thats been going on for a VERY LONG time. Shit since high school. Definitely met someone just like me but me and her didnt last long which again is my fault but whatever. She lowkey understood me. Not being checked on sometimes can be a big “fuck you”. I noticed people only did such thing if I tweeted some super sus shit or I just stopped communicating lol. Mad annoying. I wish I talked to my oldest brother, my parents, and my grandfather more. Well I lowkey have a long list of people I could've talked more but ya know how shit goes when its been too long. I need to learn how to give people their flowers before its too late. This tequila is beating my ass lmao. This is lowkey refreshing but I know im all over the place. lol this shows you how much I express myself. Niggas know I hate talking. Never was like this. Im getting sleepy. Work in progress still. 
2 notes · View notes
fineosaur · 4 years
Text
50 questions
I was tagged by @jeynepoole, thank u <33
what is the colour of your hairbrush? i have 2, a black one which is kinda big and then a small travel-ish one that’s mint green. both gifted to me because i used to not own one and my mum and sister would find it ridiculous.
name a food you never eat? agh i kinda eat everything now... but i try to stay away from shellfish and nuts cause i break out when i eat either
are you typically too warm or too cold? in mauritius ?? in this age of global warming?? always too warm babes
what were you doing 45 minutes ago? i was having my first cup of tea for the day
what's your favourite candy bar? flake cadbury chocolate
have you ever been to a professional sports game? ya but i was like 2 when we visited anfield.
what is the last thing you said out loud? “for fuck’s sake” because my sister ate my breakfast.
what is your favourite ice cream? hmm maybe hazelnut but i love a bubblegum.
what was the last thing you had to drink? water, hydrate, bitch.
do you like your wallet? yeaaa, i got it this year, it’s rly pretty and has a snakeskin pattern that matches my phone case so well. even if im not one for matching stuff
what is the last thing you ate? i havent eaten anything today yet, but i had some chips last night.
did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i didn’t i didnt spend any money last weekend thankfully. 
what's the last sporting event you watched? hmm probably i caught a glimpse of a football match when walking by a tv but thats it. i dont watch sport anymore.
what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? salted! always. im a salty bitch to the end of my days.
who is the last person you sent a text message to? my best friend, who keeps trying to get me to take a pic of my supervisor BUT IM SICK FROM WORK TODAY.
ever go camping? no, im too high maintenance for that shit.
do you take vitamins? well ive just started on a magnesium supplement for my fatigue. 
do you regularly attend a place of worship? no lol, even if muslim women pray at home, i do not. 
do you have a tan? no :(( i really want one. summer is on its way here so i expect one soon enough 
do you prefer chinese or pizza? ugh chinese ofc. i only appreciate proper italian pizza, which you rarely find here. man now im just thinking of peking duck.
do you drink your soda through a straw? no i dont drink soda
what colour socks do you usually wear? i have light green, light blue, black and grey ones. that i interchange, these are all the no show ones. then i have regular white ankle socks for my trainers.
do you ever drive above the speed limit? i do not drive
what terrifies you? wow nothing came to mind. nice to know 
look to your left, what do you see? my rug, littered w my messes 
what chore do you hate most? washing dishes! but moping comes a close second because i go to hard and make my arms hurt. 
what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? @thelandofnothing LOL
what's your favourite soda? i dont drink soda!!! 
do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru always bitch
what's your favourite number? 4, i decided on it when i was 4 and it stuck. but 15 comes a close second
Who’s the last person you talked to? like aloud? uh my sister when she barged into my room at 7 am.
favourite cut of beef? i dont have one, i just eat meat but i pay no attention to the cooking of it. i will not look at it raw. 
last song you listened to? matilda - alt j. my friend has been telling me to listen to it, apparently it makes him think of me. and i have no idea why.
last book you read? hmm yesterday i began reading my sister’s new book but then my migraine told me to stop.
favourite day of the week? thursdays. they just hit different
can you say the alphabet backwards? most likely not. i need words written down to even spell them out. i work visually, bitch. 
how do you like your coffee? i dont like coffee. if i ever do its w copious amounts of sugar.
favourite pair of shoes? a pair of black oxfords i bought back in 2018. theyre so comfy and they reflect my style a lot 
time you normally get up? 5:50am on weekdays, weekends are a gamble rly. 
what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunrises usually, but mauritian sunsets hit right too. 
how many blankets on your bed? i have my quilt and then a purple throw blanket.
describe your kitchen plates? white, nothing to them, theyre just white. 
describe your kitchen at the moment? eerie
do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? i’d say beer. it’s my go to, but i’ve been slowly trying out cocktails to find my favourite, i quite like gin as well as red wine. 
do you play cards? with friends ya, it’s usually when drinks are involved though. 
what colour is your car? my mum’s car is grey lol.
can you change a tire? i know the mechanics of it but have never been allowed
your favourite state? i dont ?? have one. i dont even know any states. is new york a state? if so, cause of @yanak324, i will say ny
favourite job you've had? well i’ve worked freelance stuff and now my current job, so i dont have much experience to say i have a favourite. but i really like my current job so i’ll say that. 
im gonna tag: ooft im tired but lets do this, @yanak324, @evax3, @sneetchstar, @northernfieldsforever, @salty-wench, @littlerockerao3, @nalgenewhore, @treaddelicately, @livhatesolives, @aryasbadbenergy, @watersandwolves
15 notes · View notes
itsbetterthananal · 6 years
Text
ok so. heres the story of when i shit myself in public in front of the boy i liked
here i am 19 years old bright eyed and bushy tailed, first year of college ive got a decent job that pays a decent wage for a part timer. for the first time in my life i have my own spending money, and this boy who ive totally been in love with since i was 15 has just gotten out of boot camp where we had no contact for 3 months. and we had been writing love letters and shit back ans forth like corny bitches because we loved each other but like. hadnt made it official yet. so i decide after the semester ends im going to spend my money on a plane ticket and fly down the jacksonville fl to see him (we split the ticket, he also wanted to see me just as much). so i get there and the first night is just literally so perfect i slept in the same bed with him for the first time and got cuddles and we bang a lot and eat pizza in our pajamas. the next day i want to go to the beach cause i like the beach and he took me there even though hes not a big fan of the beach. i sunbathed and swam in the water while he just watched me enjoy myself. then we walked around this little area that has little local gift shops and food areas. and i made the first move to hold his hand and we walked around like a couple and i was in heaven. we eat at this gourmet burger place, then we wander over to the gift shops bc he wanted to get something. now some of you may know this about me but i have irritable bowel sundrome which can set me off having diarrhea for a multitude of reasons. so my stomach is a little off but it passed and im like it must just be the heat and saltwater. so we go in this little store and he finds something he wants and goes to talk to the cashier who is this older lady who owns the place. she starts asking a bunch of questions why hes here yada yada and she asks if im his wife. and hes like no haha shes my girlfriend. and my ass is hiding behind the sea shell christmas ornaments pretending to look like “girlfriend!!!!!!!! did he say girlfriend!!!!!! oh my god?????” very serious acting going on to pretend i dont hear what theyre saying.
right at this precise moment, i feel my stomach hurt a little again. and i feel like an air bubble so im like oh, i must just need to fart (pain comes with that sometimes) yeah so i went to fart and well. it wasnt just a fart was it. something felt wrong and i stuck my finger down my bathing suit in a panic and out came a shit finger (only the tip had shit on it, calm down). keep in mind im wearing nothing but a bikini and a throwover dress, i have no extra set of clothes. so im like ohhhhhhhh my goddddd and i look for a bathroom. no bathroom, too small. and at this point im panicking bc im like this is typical this would happen to me right at this moment, so i go up to him with the fakest smile on my face. and then the lady starts talking to ME and im just nodding my head and smiling and i look up at him and im like we need to go. like right now. and he was like oh uhhhhh okay and he payed for his items and as soon as we were out of the store hes like are you okay and im like ive bloody shit myself havent i. i have pooped my pants and i need to find a restroom pronto. and hes just like okay uhhhh okay we’ll find one. to make this even more like a god damn lifetime movie, the only place i can think of nearby that would have a bathroom available was a 5 star hotel across the road. so there i go, literally waddling my way in, and i have to act like i belong there in this rich ass place where theres a door hop whose only job is to open the door for you. fake it till ya make it. im so scared theyll kick us out if we ask for directions to anything so i waddle around looking for the bathroom, i find it eventually. i run in and hes like i’ll be out here if you need anything.
so finally i can scope the damage and its not too bad, and the trauma of everything that had just happened to me in the past 10 minutes had made me completely forget about any stomachache, but now here comes another dilemna: i dont want to put my shitty bikini bottoms back on (espec. since i was wearing a dress and didnt want to get it on the uber drivers seats lmao), but i dont have a change of underwear, i cant go commando (again, not sure i want a bare pussy in an uber), and if i try to wash them in the sink of this public 5 star hotel bathroom what if someone walks in and sees me almost in tears scrubbing shit off my underwear. but thats what i did bc it was the best option. thank GOD no one walked in and i had clean(er) bikini bottoms to wear till we got back to the hotel. so its been like 30 minutes and i come back out and hes like are you okay ive been texting you i was worried how are you feeling :( and i was like its fine i just wanna go back to the hotel pls. so we call for an uber and im literally so embarrassed of what i have just gone through i couldnt even look him in the eye. thats really rare for me bc i do not get embarrassed ever and he knows that and he just put his arm around me and held my hand the entire ride home and squeezed it reassuringly. anywho we made it back and everything was fine i took a shower and changed and washed them properly and it in no way made him not want to have sex with me an hour later so. the weekend wasnt ruined and the next day we confirmed our relationship. true love lmfaooooo
40 notes · View notes
askullandbones · 7 years
Note
Hi, thx so much... ugh, where do I start? I hope this doesnt seem too open or anything. Basically, Ive been having some problems with my best friend. Were both in 2nd-year uni and we go to school in diff cities. Weve been close since we started high school. And I love her, and shes usually my goto person to talk to or shoulder to cry on. But the thing is, shes much more social and Im not. She was my only friend in high school and while shes still closest with me she had others. (1/?)
Now in uni she still has tons of friends and I haven't really been able to make any. We havent rlly drifted apart but our convos are mostly limited to FB texts. Shes now rooming with another friend & I just have this crippling fear of being replaced. Bc it would be so much easier for her. And sometimes she does things that are sort of weird. I feel like im always shifting plans to suit her needs. She doesnt respond to half of what I text her. (2/3) (3 is the limit I promise, so sorry!)
Ive also begun a big Undertale fic and Im super excited about it, but even tho I've started posting it she doesnt seem to want to read it, she said she might someitme "if she has time" & "if shes bored." Which hurts. I tried to talk to her abt all this stuff last year, but she seems to have... forgotten. & I feel so bad & dont know how to deal with it, much as i ❤ her i dont always like the way she treats me. Its so hard to tell the line b/w actual worry and bein whiny. (3/4 sorry!!!!)
I know she has her own stuff going on and I try to be there for her but its so hard. Parts of me have stopped caring about her stuff as much as I should which I KNOW is awful of me as a friend, like when she told me the girl she loved didnt love her back, stuff like that, and I just dont know what to do. My loneliness has gone into hyperdrive basically, and its very confusing. Am I just being self pitying? Any advice would mean so so much to me. (4/4 I am SO SORRY for spamming you with this)
Wow this got long. Gonna put it under a cut.
Hey. Hey? First, deep breath. This might seem like the end of the world, but it isn’t. Trust me.
When you reach this point in your life your whole social dynamic is going to shift into what I’ll call ‘adult friends’. When you went to school it was super easy to make friends (or easier than it is now), because you were put in a small group of people your age and you were basically forced to interact. You might still have some of that in college, but it’s much less forced. The things that held you together with your peers isn’t really guaranteed as much to be there anymore.
First thing you need to tell yourself is that friends typically don’t get ‘replaced’ when you’re older. At least, not if you’ve stopped acting like a kid. Most of the time the friends you had in highschool are just gonna... drift apart. It happens all the time and it’s natural.
And while I can’t relate, I know a lot of people just have a large circle of friends they talk to about various things. Each friend has a different appeal. It’s not so much ‘replacing’ as it is ‘adding’.
Now I won’t speak for your friend, but from what you do mention about her not being flexible and not responding to texts, it could be a whole host of things. Maybe her schedule is just super rigid. Maybe she just forgets to respond to your texts, especially if she’s got about five different other people she’s talking to. Maybe she has nothing to say. Unfortunately these are things you’re probably going to have to talk to her about if they’re bothering you. Friendships thrive on communication.
As for her not getting into your fic... it might hurt? But try not to let it bother you.
When I was getting into Undertale and back on the writing bus I did the same thing with a friend of mine. While she’s always been supportive, she never really wanted to read it even if I asked what she thought, and after awhile I realized it just wasn’t something I could really engage with her back and forth with. She just didn’t know what to ask, didn’t really want to read a subject she knew very little about.
It hurt a little at first, but then I just realized she didn’t have the same interest in it as I did. I just sorta pushed it to the side when it came to talking to her even though it was such a big thing in my life. Instead of saying “I’m working on this Undertale fic omg you wouldn’t believe what--” I’d change how I worded what I wanted to say to be a little less restrictive. Instead I would say “I’m working on some writing and these characters are being--”
See the difference? The second is much more inclusive to someone who has no idea what the fuck Undertale is. They can still engage. I can’t force her to enjoy something I do just like she can’t force me to enjoy something she does.
And no, you are not being self-pitying. You’re worried about a friendship you cherish. You’re worried about how your friend treats you. You’re worried that things are coming between the two of you. You care enough about this friend that you don’t want to lose them, but that also means you’re going to have to work on it. You’re gonna have some awkward, intense moments coming up even if they’re scary.
You gotta be brave.
What you need to do is think. Think about your friendship. You mentioned that you think she treats you bad sometimes. Make a list of the things she does that make you feel bad. Can’t come up with an answer as to why she might do these things? Ask her. Bring it up. It’s scary, but if she values your friendship she’ll listen and you two can work things out.
But friendship is a two-way street. There are ways you can improve too. Find interests you share. Try not to feel bad when she doesn’t like the same things anymore, you’re both starting to grow up and get different interests.
Set boundaries and stick to them. You say you’re always shifting your plans and not the other way around. Stop. Put your foot down. Say no, you can’t shift these around. Don’t bend to her whims all the time. Set a hard line. She will work with you and bend her own plans too if your friendship is valued.
Most importantly though, as scary as it is, don’t be afraid that you two might just be drifting apart. A lot of friendships end after highschool and most of them aren’t because of fights. They’re just... from drifting apart. It might seem like you won’t find more friends, but you will.
I’ve been friends with the same girl since I was a teenager. She lives in Canada. I love her so, so much. When I got a divorce and she started college again we kinda just... didn’t talk much. We used to talk every single day but we didn’t anymore and that bothered the fuck out of me. I thought we were drifting apart, and in a way we kinda have.
She has a boyfriend she plays games with a lot, games that I don’t enjoy. I like to roleplay and write and play games that she doesn’t enjoy. She’s busy as fuck and I’m absolutely incompetent at conversations half the time. We don’t have all the same interests anymore and sometimes we go a full week without saying a word to each other, and we both realize things have changed a bit, but it hasn’t changed how we feel about one another. We still love each other a lot.
College is when you’re going to start to realize that, maybe, a lot of your friends you make are gonna be online. Chatrooms. Games. Writing. Roleplaying. They’re gonna scatter the globe. I have friends from Canada to the states to Indonesia and Germany. I visit the friends within an hour of me maybe... once or twice a month. That’s fine with me. It doesn’t bother me much. I talk to one friend I had in highschool maybe... once every... three months? I don’t hate them, I just don’t have much in common with them anymore. It happens.
But I should wrap this up.
Breathe. Take a nice, deep breathe. This isn’t the end of the world even if it’s scary and you wish you didn’t have to deal with it. You’ll survive even if the outcome is the worst thing you can imagine.
Friendships change over time.
Communicate your feelings.
Evaluate your own role in the relationship and if you need to make some changes too.
Set hard boundaries.
If you need more advice, I’m here.
5 notes · View notes
themoneybuff-blog · 6 years
Text
A brief history of U.S. homeownership
During the month of May at Get Rich Slowly, were going to turn our attention to home and garden topics. To start, I want to take a brief look at the history of the U.S. housing market. Some folks might find this dry. I think its fascinating. Private land ownership is baked into the U.S. culture and Constitution. Its part of the material plenty we expect from the American Dream. For most Americans, homeownership implies success and freedom and wealth. But for a long time, homeownership was the exception rather than the rule. Only farmers were likely to own land and a house during the countrys early days. With the coming of the Industrial Revolution, homeownership became more common for urban dwellers. Still, less than half of all Americans owned their homes until the late 1940s. Heres how U.S. homeownership rates of changed over the past 128 years according to the U.S. Census Bureau and the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis:
Tumblr media
The current U.S. homeownership rate as of January 2018 is 64.2%. Im sure you could write a doctoral thesis on the reasons for the growth of homeownership over time. Im not going to do that. After several hours of research into the history of mortgages and the real-estate industry, I feel like we can summarize everything in a few paragraphs. This article which is information-only will serve as background for future Get Rich Slowly discussions about homeownership. In the Beginning During the 1800s, most folks had no way to own a house. They didnt have the lump sum required to make the purchase, and banks wouldnt lend money for average people to buy homes. Mortgages didnt become common until the U.S. banking system was stabilized following the National Bank Acts of the 1860s. After this reform, banks began to experiment with lending money for homes, and by the 1890s, mortgages were popular across the U.S although not precisely as we know them today. A typical mortgage in the early 1900s might have a term of five years and require a 50% down payment. Plus, they were usually structured with interest-only monthly payments and a balloon payment for the entire principal at the end of the term. Borrowers could (and did) renegotiate their loans every year. Compare this to modern mortgages, which usually have 30-year terms and require a down payment of only five to twenty percent. (I bought my first home in 1993 with a down payment of less than one percent!)
Tumblr media
These early mortgages worked fine until the Great Depression. When that crisis hit, banks had no money to lend and the average borrower had no cash either. As a result, potential homeowners couldnt afford to buy, and many existing homeowners defaulted. (At one point during the 1930s, nearly 10% of all homes were in foreclosure!) Note: This article originally appeared at Money Boss in April 2016. Ive updated text-based stats through 2018, but graphics-based data is two years old. However, nothing material has changed in the past 24 months. Bubbles and Booms To stabilize the housing market, the U.S. government created the Home Owners Loan Corporation in 1933, the Federal Housing Administration in 1934, and the Federal National Mortgage Association (now Fannie Mae) in 1938. These institutions helped to arrest the housing crash and, eventually, spur homeownership to new heights. But it was the G.I. Bill of 1944, which provided subsidized mortgages for World War II veterans, that changed the face of the housing industry and the American economy. From encyclopedia.com: The GI Bills mortgage subsidies led to an escalated demand for housing and the development of suburbs. One-fifth of all single-family homes built in the 20 years following World War II were financed with help from the GI Bills loan guarantee program, symbolizing the emergence of a new middle class. As homebuying became more common (and more complicated), real-estate brokers helped sellers find buyers for their homes. The National Association of Real Estate Boards adopted the term Realtor in 1916. As the housing market boomed during the 1940s and 1950s, so did the real-estate profession. By 1950, for the first time in American history, more than half of all Americans owned their homes. As demand for housing increased, so did prices. For 25 years, Yale economics professor Robert Shiller has tracked U.S. home prices. He monitors current prices, yes, but hes also researched historical prices. Hes gathered all of this info into a spreadsheet, which he updates regularly and makes freely available on his website. This graph of Shillers data (through January 2016) shows how housing prices have changed over time:
Tumblr media
Shillers index is inflation-adjusted and based on sale prices of existing homes (not new construction). It uses 1890 as an arbitrary benchmark, which is assigned a value of 100. (To me, 110 looks like baseline normal. Maybe 1890 was a down year?) As you can see, home prices bounced around until the mid 1910s, at which point they dropped sharply. This decline was due largely to new mass-production techniques, which lowered the cost of building a home. (For thirty years, you could order your home from Sears!) Prices didnt recover until the conclusion of World War II and the coming of the G.I. Bill. From the 1950s until the mid-1990s, home prices hovered around 110 on the Shiller scale. For the past twenty years, the U.S. housing market has been a wild ride. We experienced an enormous bubble (and its aftermath) during the late 2000s. It looks very much like were at the front end of another bubble today. As of December 2017, home prices were at about 170 on the Shiller scale. What caused the housing bubble during the last decade? And whats feeding the current buying frenzy? Thats a great question, and its open to debate. Some folks blame loose lending standards. Some blame a lack of government oversight. Some blame real-estate speculators. Some blame the American propensity for consumption. Some blame cheerleading from the real-estate industry. Me? I think its a little of everything.
Tumblr media
Bigger Everything! Naturally, increased home prices and increased ownership rates brought increased mortgages. During the past fifty years, long-term mortgages with large balances became more common until now theyre the standard. Between 1949 and the turn of the twenty-first century, mortgage debt relative to total income of the average household rose from 20% to 73%, and from 15% to 41% relative to total household assets. One reason mortgage sizes have increased is that housing sizes have increased. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the median size for a new home built in 1973 was 1525 square feet. By 2016, that number had jumped to 2422 square feet. In those forty years, kitchen sizes have doubled, ceilings have risen more than a foot, and bedrooms have grown by more than 50 square feet. But home sizes are ballooning even as households are shrinking! The average household had 2.9 people in 1973. In 2016, the average household had 2.5 people. Lets run the numbers: Forty years ago, we had 526 square feet of living space per person; today, we have 969 square feet of living space per person. To me, this seems crazy. Why do we need such huge houses? Whats the point? And do homeowners truly consider the costs when they choose to buy big? A larger home doesnt just carry a larger purchase price. It costs more to maintain. It costs more to light, to heat, and to furnish. For too many people, big homes are the destroyer of dreams. (Im not joking. I truly believe this.) Full disclosure: In the past, Ive been guilty of pursuing home-size inflation myself, although I eventually came to see the error of my ways. My first house (purchased in 1993) had 1383 square feet. My second house (purchased in 2004) had 1814 square feet. That was peak bigness for me. The condo I sold last year had 1547 square feet. And the house we moved into last July has 1235 square feet. I think about 1000 square feet is ideal, but Kim likes having the extra room. Im not saying you should live in a shack. Nor am I suggesting everyone should own a tiny home. But I believe its important to be logical when it comes to housing. Remember that size comes with a price. If you need the space, buy it. If you dont, youre better off saving your money for something else. The Bottom Line Housing is by far the largest expense in the typical budget. According to the U.S. governments 2016 Consumer Expenditure Survey, the average American family spends $1573.83 on housing and related expenses every month. Thats more than they spend on food, clothing, healthcare, and entertainment combined! Here at Get Rich Slowly, Im adamant that one of the best ways if not the best way to improve your cash flow is by cutting your costs on housing. Remember, your goal is to manage your financial life as if you were managing a business. If you were looking to balance the budget at a company you owned, you wouldnt do it by trying to trim the small expenses. No, youd tackle your biggest expenses first. If you reduce your labor costs by 5%, for instance, you might be able to save $50,000 per year. But saving 5% on office supplies would probably only save you $50 per year. The same principle applies in your personal life. If the typical American household cut their grocery budget by 5%, theyd save only $200 per year. If they cut housing by 5%? Well, theyd save $900 per year. So why do so many people put so much effort into clipping coupons while continuing to shell out for more home then they can afford (or need)? Good question. In the weeks ahead, Im going to explore different pieces of the housing equation. When does it make sense to rent? When does it make sense to buy? Is it better to prepay your mortgage or to keep it forever? How can you determine how much home you can afford? If you have a specific question about housing and money, please let me know! https://www.getrichslowly.org/homeownership/
0 notes