#i did apparently smoke weed in this but im not letting that stop me from wearing it to work 💪 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

analtyranny · 1 year

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let’s play gore screaming show (part 1)

so i’ve been curious about this game since...before i was old enough to play it, probably. i listened to the OP pretty frequently and would try looking up info on the story now and again. problem is, it came out 16 years ago with no sign of an english release. i’d also heard rumors that black cyc games are programmed weird and impossible to insert text into, or something? so basically i gave up on it and moved on to greener more euphoric pastures

UNTIL NOW

it FINALLY got an english release in november 2022, and i found this out...on the last day of a JAST sale. so i figured, fuck it, no time like the present

which brings us here today. is this game good? no clue! is it gory? most likely! but nothing can faze me after euphoria, right? ......r-right?

WARNING: THIS GAME IS XTREMELY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION IS ADVISD

due to tumblr’s bullshit TOS im gonna be heavily censoring scenes. you’ll have to play it yourself to get those. but also it should be fine if i post just certain key phrases from them. it wouldn’t be an eroge playthrough without “The meatus...!” after all

this OP kicks ass, highly recommended. 18+ warning though for some of the included CGs. ...not sure how it survived on youtube for 14 years

okay before i start im just gonna talk about what i know about the story, i.e. what little information i’ve gleaned from my “research”

so the plot is this dude moves back to the town he grew up in and lives with his hot older cousin. he will probably fuck her. sorry. don’t kill the messenger. he reunites with his childhood friends who are all girls with color-coded names. he will probably fuck them. for some reason there's an ossan with a gun. he will probably fuck him?

so whoever you try to date, you get harassed by this purple-haired little girl and her creepy murder clown buddy and you have to stop them from killing your three weed-smoking girlfriends

also that caution tape says "delicious"

this boob lady’s in the OP too but idk who she is

then there’s a scene of a little girl going home. it goes back and forth between this and boob lady telling the story

oh, there's the clown guy

hey it’s the groupchat

so boob lady’s going "ohh everyone's looking at me im getting fucked by eyeballs" while the little girl talks to clown guy. who then eats her. cronch

hey look, it's our protagonist...'s POV!

...or not? looks like the actual narration is in 3rd person instead of 1st, like most VNs ive played. huh.

also, only three years? i got the impression it was longer than that

this road sure looks familiar. any little girl bones around here? conspicuous bloodstains?

h-haha, you sure it's supposed to be red-brown?

i missed capping it but he crashes into purple girl on his bike and she says "welcome home :)" but when he tries to apologize she's not there

and suddenly he's in a different place... and then he gets a flat tire

AND he's late for high sch--COLLEGE

on his first day, too

his teacher's like "how tf did you get lost when you used to live here?" it's those damn warp panels, man

all my teachers just talked to me like i was braindead and/or a toddler

he will probably fuck him

short king

red one sighted!!!

here's the blue one but kyoji doesn't remember her name

and finally, the yellow one. apparently she has huge boobs. i guess she's not a childhood friend but used to live where he went before, and conveniently also transferred here

it's normal for legal adults to live alone

school sux, come get some yoofies

we've got our...awkwardly shoehorned first choice! from top to bottom, it's:

red

blue (first playthrough)

yellow

#gore screaming show #im not gonna put every post i make here in that tag because that would be annoying #but hi guys! this blog exists! ok bye

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skiniibuniii · 11 months

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probably never got fasting insomnia cuz i kept "recovering" before i reached the point im at rn. heres some shit abt me, my history of eds, and why i think and have been told i have EDNOS. added a read more thing so you dont have to read it if you dont want to.

wow someone likes me lmao jk but,,

when i was 9-10 i had to take one of those tests in school for BMI and i was the heaviest person there. all the kids compared bmis and i just stayed quiet when i was asked. so the very next day i did a week long fast without knowing what the fuck i was doing. i barely drank anything, fainted once and couldnt stand up without my legs giving out. yeahh my mom almost took me to the hospital, and i wanted that til my mom said id be poked with needles so i "recovered". off and on over those next few years, i tried to watch what i ate but didnt count cals (tbh cuz i didnt know how).

I started smoking weed around 11-12 and i started binging B A D. my stomach hurt constantly but i never stopped eating. to the point that my mom finally told me that i was eating too much cuz we didnt have the money for me to keep that up any longer than a few months. and my mom saying "youre eating too much", even though she was worried about me and i knew she was just worried, it totally triggered me again. still didnt know jack shit about eds. i tried to restrict and got into a fast-binge cycle for a couple months. "recovered" again.

tried to die right after i turned 13, got sent to a hospital for 2 months and thats when i learned about eds. started going to this LGBTQ club, met my bf and discovered my gender identity (didnt know abt trans people before that either, thought i was just really crazy), and started to learn about how to be safer. aand this is when it stopped being 100% about how i look, but now it was a 50/50 on looks and weight. got back in that fast-binge bull. got my first Tumblr page somewhere around this time too and was in LOVE loved my blog so much. got into ed tumblr for inspo but obvy that didnt last long. stayed on my main for a long while til (i think) i was abt to turn 16. "recovered".

about to be 14 years old, got back into my shit cuz i got pregnant and didnt know it and freaked out about how ugly i was, dropped to 130 cuz the morning sickness made it so easy to purge (i was and have not since been able to purge via vomit) and i barely ate anyway with cal counting, nausea, fasting, and chainsmoking. i did some drugs aside from smoking around this time and drank a fair amount too. found out i was pregnant, "recovered" AGAIN, stopped doing all that bad stuff and was tormented by my body for another 4-5 months. got up to 225lbs, apparently i gained 85lbs from month 5 to birth. popped out a baby, kid was healthy thank god, tried to breastfeed, yo-yoed between 200-225 for about 2 months, breastfeeding wasnt working and made me want to die with the gender dysphoria, switched to bottles, 2 months after that now we're back. didnt do crazy restriction but exercised like a madman. hated myself really bad. fast-binge you know the deal. bf force-fed me regularly. i fucking gave up. reached 175 before i bounced right back to 200.

now we're 16 its the first of june, gonna be 17 in 14 days. i havent been able to look in a mirror for any reason besides to do my makeup in several years. still 200lbs. havent worn anything that could remotely show how fat i am in years. out of nowhere i decided, "imma get back on my fucking shit. I REFUSE TO HATE MY BODY ANYMORE. I DO NOT WANT TO BECOME AN ADULT AND FUCKING HATE MYSELF LIKE THIS"

"hey, youre 17 now! happy birthday. i know your phone just broke, i bought you a computer! it was a great deal and they said it worked for games too! you said youve been wanting to play that java server, right?"

i remembered, tumblr is a thing! i loved my blog, maybe if i get back into that id be happier.

"ghost blog", gone. i cried quite a bit lmao, but lets start a new one!

and here we are. and i am not doing any fake recovery shit this time.

from what i know, EDNOS includes the off-and-on stuff and i was told by a couple people on my og blog that i dont have ana i have EDNOS.

boom thats my ed life story. and if thats kinda bad yall should hear my whole fucking life story. ive been thinking abt writing a book about it cuz it is actually fucking crazy.

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bby-d1p · 3 years

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420🍃🕳️

G“So who’s going to go get it?“ Lamelo asked for the literal eight time since we��ve gotten in the car. It was me,Melo and don. “LaMelo if you ask that dumbass question one more time imma put you out my car“ Don yelled gripping the steering wheel.”My bad damn” Melo laid in my lap and started to play with my fingers; specifically my index finger that had Loyalty on it. As a birthday gift for my 18th he wanted us to get matching tatts.”Don is getting the weed ok stop smoking you’re already slow enough“ I whispered in his ear. We hot boxed earlier but melo dropped the blunt in a pile of mud since it had rained. (a/n we woulda had to box ong)

We pulled up to don’s plug I’m guessing; the house wasn’t to shabby, we were on the east side NOLA so its not all glammed up like the west side.The bright green roof and windows didn’t compliment the sore orange and tan panel on the outside. It’s a two maybe three story house. A brolic walked out the house.He had on a black wife beater(a/n we hit women jkjkjk), grey sweats and some ugly ass green shell toe Adidas. Don pulled at least 50 dollars out of his bag. He closed the door of his black and grey Cullinan almost busting his ass on the wet ground causing melo and I to screech. I felt a cold hand trickle up my thigh.”You he gon be gone for like 15 minutes” Melo whispered in my ear. “Um no he’s not“ I smiled as don got back in the car. “dammit“ melo mumbled.Nigga feenin for some cat.

-------------------------------------------------------

Don started to hand melo the bag. “Mel- nevermind April you rolling ion got time for my shit getting dropped again“ Don handed me the iridescent bag with two big cookies and what looked like enough to foll 4 fat blunts.They cut their eyes at each other. ”How much did this cost“ I said with an astonished look on my face. “Like 45$“ he shrugged so did I not bad. These cookies are big as hell. I began to grind the substance through my fingers into the pineapple Game wrap.I felt a flash go off from beside me and then got a snap notification. Melo captioned the video; Her focused face😭😍.

“I don’t make a face when I’m focused” I rolled my eyes as I sparked my blunt close to my lips. “Um not I get to hit it first“ Don attempted to take the blunt from me. “I rolled every one their own. It’s enough to roll at least three more blunts“ I handed don and melo their blunts. “AP shotgun me” Melo called my by the nickname he gave me sparking his blunt as wel.

Apparently he thinks calling me a piece jewelry of is cute.He took a puff blowing out the cloud of white smoke. “Okay“ I smiled scooting closer to him. “Yea no if yall gon be on this shit I’m finna call Aiesha. Yall be TOO horny when you get high “By the time he finished his sentence I was already in Melo’s lap puffing out smoke as he rubbed my thigh with his free hand. I jerked my head back and Melo made a face. “Everyone most likely wants to fuck me. So I assume everyone wants to fuck me even more because who doesn’t like to fuck after we’ve smoke three blunts?” LaMelo and I said simultaneously and laughed.

“You ready“ Lamelo licked his lips damn he’s so fine when he’s high.”Yea“ I took a puff before blowing the white smoke in his mouth. Just to be a dick he blew the smoke through his nose. I wanna know how to do that but he won’t teach me. “Why“ I made a pouty face. “Because I’m cooler than you“ He chuckled hitting his head on the head rest.”hey y'all” Aisha greeted up through slurs she is high as fuck.We all spoke”im cooler in the bedroom though.” I whispered in his ear running my fingers down his waves and grinding on his lap just to be a tease.I felt him grow and smirked.Don already smoke half his blunt “Don how yo shit half gone already?” I laughed hysterically shit is so much funnier when you’re high.

“BROOO I WANT SOME NAGOMI” I yelled getting off his lap making him cut his eyes at me.”Omg yess bitch yesssss” Aiesha did a little twerk in her seat causing me to slap her ass.”Melo put on yo seatbelt” I tapped his shoulder.”I don’t want to”Lamelo shrugged. “Don’t be feeling on my girl nigga” Don bucked at me starting the car, and just to be petty, of course i blew her a kiss. She pretended to catch an put it on her lips making Don break check us. “GOT DAMN NIGGA” Melo yelled rubbing his forehead because he hit it on the back of Aiesha’s seat.”I said put on your seatbelt” I nicked his neck.

After getting our foo he headed to

“Stop fucking touching my CRawfISh“ Melo’s voice crack as I took another piece of crawfish from his plate snickering hysterically. “yo who ate my cookies?“ Don said with annoyance in his voice.Aisha,Melo and I looked at each other for like two seconds and busted out laughing. “yall not smoking with me no more“ he kissed Aisha’s lips. “If I wanted to I could take you bitch.” I spoke honestly while LaMelo screech hysterically.”Ahh my nigga she just PLAYED THE FUCK OUTTA YOU“ Aisha began laughing at lamelo.”lets not forget who dropped our blunt bitch“ he shot back at melo making him stop laughing. “Yea bitch shut up“ I picked with Lamelo. He got a tight grip on my neck. “You better stop talking out of turn before you’re not able to talk at all.” He growled. “okay“ I said trying to front but I am DRIPPING okay.”I’ma bout to go to the bathroom that crawfish ran through me” Lamelo disgustedly announced.

” now that melo left; man I’ll bet you five hundred you can’t even make my girl wet” Don flicked his blunt in an ashtray. “You for real?“ Aisha and I asked at the same time. “On my soul“ He patted his chest, “Bet“ was all I said before Aisha climbed on my lap after I motion her over. Because I always win bets I started to kiss down her neck making her grind her his on my lap. “I don’t have a dick what are you grinding for?“ We busted out laughing. “My stomach hurt!“ Don wheezed. “Getting a factime call for Don Julio“ siri spoke. “Why are you facetiming me were in the same house“ I rolled my eyes.

“Back to what you were doing I want my five hundred“ Don commanded. “Or yo just wanna watch free porn buut since I’m getting five hundred why not.“ I smirked deviously as I grabbed Aisha’s neck putting my tongue in her mouth. “MMM“ She groaned into the kiss as I felt on her ass.I started to slide my hands in the back of her pants. “If we go that far imma steal you from melo. now if you’ll excuse me; I have to go change my underwear.” She ran off my lap and upstairs. “Bro here“ Don plopped a stack of money on the table with an attitude. “thank you“ I said as Aisha came back downstairs.“ Yo the moon landing is fake and I know you was getting ya freak on with Aisha and I ain’t mad about it” Lamelo yelled coming back from the bathroom giving me props and sounding dumb as fuck. “How?“ Don grew intrigued. “There was wind messing with the flag in the video but there are no trees or anything in space to create wind so what the fuck?“ he rubbed his waves, sitting back.”Oh shit I don’t know“ I scratched my head.

#melo #Melo imagines #🍃🍃

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summercurial · 2 years

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diary entry: G's grad party

dramatis personae:

G, L, S, E, H - the usual suspects, you know them, you love them (well, maybe you dont love them. i love them! i think H might be a little uncomfy with me saying i love him. but he is wonderful)

El, W - W is an old friend of the group, very timid, he wanted to transition and then told his girlfriend, El, disappeared for a week and later no longer wanted to transition. El is kind of awful

G's extended family, friends of parents and parents of friends, etc

so, i get there like 130 in my new pretty dress. i'm the first of the group to arrive, all of G's relatives are there and very loud, we retreat to G's room and I get some rose, rest of the group arrives, S brought a tupperware of just rice that she is just sort of sitting and eating from, i mock her for this and then hug her and tell her that i love her strangeness, i try a rum and coke (don't like it), bunch of other people arrive, i have some sparkling wine, we split up for a bit, I spot a drawing of a woman with her tits tastefully out that i point out to S, S spends a while talking to G's lesbian aunts who are really friendly and nice and interesting, i talk with them for a while too, there are a ton of people but G's relatives are pretty great, theyre funny and friendly and chill (apparently at some point they smoked weed *with* the group? no idea where i was at this point), i have a very strong margarita-adjacent drink made by E, it's delicious but probably like. 3 drinks worth, so it's like 3 pm and im kind of schwasted, we have a quick group meeting up stairs which consists of G giving us all adderall, which powered me through the night

at some point we're hanging out in a semi-private area off the main zone (G's parents are kind of loaded (i mean. its nova. almost everyone is at least kind of loaded), its a big house, but it was expanded twice from a small old house (it has an original cellar in the basement! its so weird and cool) so its got a weird structure), I ask El if i can kiss her, because i want to kiss a girl and also i have some vague idea (at some point (before this?) i had a bunch of punch (delicious! H is big into punch. he makes really good punch. he is the least evil member of the group (non sequitur)), at this point ive been there like 4 hours and had like 7 drinks worth. so. i am pretty drunk) that like, getting familiar with a trans girl sexually might..idk, make her soften on letting W transition, anyway she asks W's permission and we do, it was pretty nice but shes wearing lipstick or chapstick or something which feels kind of weird, she's a pretty normal kisser, anyway hell yeah kissed a girl, then i ask to kiss W (he asks El, she says yes), he's so adorably timid and cautious while he kisses while im going all the way at it, also he's so little hes like 5 6, i think i kissed them both a coule times throughout the night, i got El to feel me up a little (not much unforch), also i think while just the two of us were in there (members of the group were going in and out, yknow. party mode) I asked to kiss L and we did, it was nice hes got great lips (i think this might have been the first time we kissed? idk. memory)

at some point we take a walk to a nearby river, we have to stop before we get down to the shore cuz it was getting pretty dark but it was fun, i got to hold hands with G for a while and also I ran around some, and idk, i like hiking it was hiking, i like to talk to people while i hike

ANYWAY a little after that pretty much everybody went home, i went up with G and L to their bedroom, and we had...threesome 2.0! i think it started with them hurting me which was fun, G said he liked the sounds i made when L hurt me, G was planning on fucking me but i think i was too tight or something or he was experiencing whiskey dick? or something? honestly i was pretty confused. but also very happy and pliant feeling. im pretty sure G fingered me for a while at some point which was really nice, and then...!! i ate L out! it was fun. it was in the dark and also im not well versed in vaginas so i was kind of improvising, not really sure what was going on but it tasted good (it was strangely sweet? G said it tastes like meat but i didnt get that. just tasted sweet and i guess fleshy to me) and L said he was enjoying it, i like using my tongue on things, then for a while G fucked L while i licked at both the penis and the vagina, yknow, sort of licking around the point where they met at the top (L was on all fours, i was laying on my back underneath him, G was on his knees behind him) and then sometimes G would let me suck him off and not fuck L (oh and i got to do the thing where i just sort of hold the head in my mouth and play with it with my tongue, i love that)

there was like... a thing going on b/c L is like. sort of a switch and sort of bratty. and i am of course a very good girl. but L has lots of pride so it takes him a lot to say what he wants. eventually he got super desperate for G to make him cum, i teased him a little bit (actually kind of a lot), mostly for being bad and complicated, i got soooo many good girls from G he was being very indulgent to me. L gets just as simple and desperate as me when he really wants to come tho. which i think G likes, when L is broken. anyway L came and then a while later G came in L (several times? my time sense was wonky and it was dark). i sort of cuddled with L while he got fucked, he was doing his catboy thing where he likes to attack, he bit me really hard on the space between my neck and shoulder, and on the arm, and scratched me a bunch, but hes weaker than me so i held his arm in place after that. oh at some point they wanted me to finger L but he has a bizarrely insensitive vagina. i was going at it! my finger was all the way in there! felt like i was being quite harsh

they talked about me a bunch which i loved, i got to be the very simple thing that i am and they treated me yknow. affectionately but also. as that thing. it was great. and then we cuddled all night. i spent a lot of the time confused but not really in a bad way. just like. oh. i will just do what im told :). and in the morning i had some coffee and some tortilla chips and met the neighbors dogs and went home. there was no vegetarian food so i just ate a bunch of tortilla chips (and some tortillas) and drank alcohol the previous afternoon. i think the majority of my calories yesterday were from alcoholic drinks. but somehow I wasnt hungover in the morning.

it was so fun! what a great night. alcohol. friends. threesome

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knullanon · 3 years

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black beetle won the fight yall

anyway heres that fic, sorry it doesn’t include him until the end, imma probably write a part 2, but only if yall want it lmao

warnings: homeless man being weird, underage drinking (reader does no drinking), kidnapping, running, lmk if there should be anything else!

words: 1715

“Jesus, _______, you don’t even have a public snapchat, what in the name of fuck makes you think that you’ll actually gain some followers on instagram?”

You rolled your eyes, and gave a small glare to your friend, who was sitting on your bed, scrolling through her phone. Currently it was almost 11 pm, and it was a miracle that Vanessa's parents were out on a weekend vacation. It was Friday night, and they had left her with you in the morning when you both had left for school. After that, well, it was chaos from there. You both had gone shopping, eating, and even got some… contraband from one of her friends. Currently, she was high as fuck sitting on your bed, and stating almost every opinion you were assuming she had hidden from you for your almost 2 year long friendship.

And it was not pretty.

“Seriously, you always bitch about that one chick, what's her name, Kathrine? You act like her opinion is the definition of your future. Like, who give a fuck if she thinks you’re too fat? You look like… fuck, what was I gonna say? I don’t remember.”

She was in the hyper and “paranoid” part of smoking weed a few minutes ago, but now that she's high and more relaxed, she's really let her bars down. It was kinda annoying you that she never mentioned to tell you this shit, but to be honest, you would’ve started crying if she said this shit in front of a bunch of people.

You mainly ignored her comments, most of them about your confidence issues and the fact that any opinion that was stated about you took 100% seriously. It hurt a little, hearing her say these things, but you reminded yourself that she's high, she doesn’t know what she's talking about, and it was a completely normal thing for people who were high to start spewing bullshit… probably. You’ve never seen her this high, but it was interesting to see her act like this.

One comment made you particularly mad, when she said, “You always act like there’s gonna be someone to save you, or something, like, this isn’t fanfiction, _______, this is real life, where people aren’t going to care about some girl with daddy issues. Just, really, accept it, your dads an ass, and hey, maybe if you’re lucky, one of those fictional characters who you like will come out of nowhere and give you whatever you want.”

You gave here a look and then asked, “Vanessa, you’re drunk. Let’s just- ugh, let's just get you home.”

She didn’t object to you bringing her out the back of your porch (your neighbors were nosy) and you dragged her drunk ass through town, making sure to stay out of dark areas where people could grab you. Of course, there was no telling someone would actually do that, but you were still just a young girl: you couldn’t do jack shit against a 40 year old man.

Anyway, Vanessa was starting to regain her footing, and she was able to start walking n=by her own for the last 5 minutes. When you dropped her off, she insisted that she was able to walk by herself onto the steps and with that, you made sure she got inside her house, before you started walking back to your house.

Unfortunately, you had no idea that there were 2 people following you, both with completely different intentions.

~~~~

You ended up running when you saw the seemingly homeless man sprinting towards you. It was only a split second before you dodged his attack, where he would’ve had you in a neck hold, and you couldn’t have escaped: you were surprised that you even saw it in time.

However, you didn’t even try to feel the burning in your lungs, only the fear of what the man was going to do to you if he did catch you. You didn’t know where you were, going, you only followed your instinct. And it eventually led to you going down some weird alleway.

Which of course, you expected it to not work. It was long and dark as you turned but you didn’t have time to go back, he was right behind you, you could feel him. And then, almost halfway through the alleyway, you heard his shoes screech to a stop, and then him… gurgling? But when you turned around, you didn’t see anything, or anyone. Just one of his shoes. A singular, worn out shoe. You didn’t want to stay, oh no, you were getting the hell out of there and heading back home.

And while you sprinted out of the alleway, the second person who was following you was sitting on the top of the rooftop holding someone's dead body.

~~~~~

For the next few days, everything seemed like normal. Vanessa didn’t mention anything about the shit talking, she didn’t say shit about you walking her home either, and nothing about that weird homeless man and his weird bullshit. You felt relieved on the fourth day: nothing strange had happened, and you felt like something was slowly coming off your shoulders: nothing bad was going to happen, everything would continue as normal.

Right?

You still had no evidence of anything happening, and Vanessa seemingly didn’t remember shit about the day, so you had to assume that it was just some weird dream: maybe you drank some beer with her and you ended up like this. You didn’t know if it really did happen, to be honest: you were doubting yourself.

So, a week after the whole thing, you decided to head back to that weird alleway to see if there was anything that could help you. Putting on your most concealing outfit, just some sweatpants and a hoodie, you ventured out and started to wander around, wondering where the hell you went. Eventually you traced your steps, remembering little bits from the strange… night? Dream? You didn't know, which was also the reason why you were even here. Did that bullshit really happen?

You saw some evidence of you being there: a trash can that was still knocked over from the man, the man's little area he had set up to live, which was now taken over by another person, your pencil you had dropped trying to get away from him which was… in surprisingly good condition. You didn’t know why that gave you a feeling of dread when you recognized the alleyway: it looked like any other, but there was just… something off putting about it, even in the daytime.

When you approached, you heard something rattle, like something metal had dropped. You rushed in, only to see just that, a trash can lid rattling on the ground, like someone was there.

And along with it, that damn show that the man had left behind, this time, it was moved slightly.

Ok, now this was weird.

~~~~~

You didn’t like the feeling you got when you were walking back home. It was still bright out, many people out and about, happy and glowing in the sun.

You didn’t feel like that. You felt terrible. You felt like the sun was going to melt you with all of your layers of clothes, but you didn’t focus on that. You focused on the fact that yes, that night was real, and that it happened, and that that homeless man was gone and you had no idea where he could be. Of course, you didn’t care for a maniac like him, but it was the fact that he was gone that was bothering you. While on the way back home, you wondered what Vanessa would say about it, but you eventually decided against it.

She would call you crazy and say that you were making it up for attention, for starters, and you would also have to explain why you were bringing her home, which would then have to have you explain why you wanted her out of the house. Not a situation you wanted to deal with.

Anyway, as long as that weird man didn’t show up again, you would be fine. He couldn’t do anything to you anyway, right? He wasn’t even there! It had already been a week, what could he be doing?

Your fears were starting to calm down while you were making every excuse you could think of so that you wouldn’t have to worry about it. And then the part where he disappeared came into play. Sure, he had disappeared, but to where?

This made you think. Seriously, where had he gone? Where could he have gone? And why did it sound like someone was choking him when you turned around-

… Was there always a 7 foot tall man in your backyard? No, no there wasn’t. Quickly hiding, you tried to see what he was, but it was no use. He was really hidden, like you. Pulling out your phone, in case he actually saw you. Which you soon found out that yes, yes he did.

You don’t know when he actually was able to get to you, but apparently, it was quick. You didn’t even hear him when he grabbed you by the back of your neck and pulled you up: almost like a kitten and their mother.

You looked up to see some weird armored figure. His armor was black, with little accents of grey here and there. He had two spikes on his back and he also didn’t have a nose. He looked… weird, a little, yes, but you were more worried about the bigass sword that had formed in his other hand.

He stood taller (how?) before he asked, “Tell me, where are your parents?”

“Parents?”

“Yes, that’s what I asked.”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Well, are they in the house with you?”

“N-No, I don’t think so-”

“Great. Then you won’t need to worry about what’s about to happen.”

Before you could ask, he gave you a quick slap to the neck, and you felt something almost pinch your skin. You were going to scream, but nothing came out. Instead, you only fell into a pit of sleep, and you fell more and more, until you only heard wind rushing through your ears, before nothing more.

_______________

yall im tired af lol I should’ve answered more asks but im getting real slow and im sorry. ill try to get more requests out, im just getting overwhelmed by bullshit irl lol

#yandere black beetle

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pinkfurygiver · 4 years

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Rafe Cameron x Reader

This my first attempt, I’m foreign so excuse me if there are some spelling or/and grammar errors. Have fun (Y/N)!

Summary: Rafe and (Y/N) are really close friends (or maybe more?), and he usually sneaks in her room at night but this time something is different: he is covered in blood. (Y/N) is aware about his drug addiction, and even if she is still mad at him she decides to help him.

Tw: mention of drugs, underage drinking, blood. (Let me know if more)

“It’s three in the morning” (Y/N) said, feeling guilty that she left her room without telling her parents a thing. She wasn’t like that, not before him, she was the good daughter. The girl never went skinny dipping in the night, never talked back or neither did something to unplease the other. But since Rafe came in her life she become a trouble maker, always jumping out of her window to meet him and not caring about other opinions anymore. With him she felt so free, so free to be her true self. Always on the edge of time. Rafe made her stomach hurt, especially when he’s gentle touch met hers; she always felt like a dose of serotonin was injected in her vein.

But this time was different: she didn’t want to jump. Actually, she didn’t even considered doing so. It wasn’t strange for Rafe to call her that late in the night to meet her, but since the last time (Y/N) decided that she was fed up with his little game. If he wanted to spent some time with her then he could do it in the day time, maybe at the beach or somewhere else. She started to belive he was ashamed of being seen with her, and that hurted like a bitch.

“It’s home time, dumbass” She said, getting up of her bad with her blanket on her shoulders, because even if it was still summer, that night was pretty cold.

She looked out of her window, looking outside, with her phone still pressed against her cheeck.

Rafe was right next her gazebo, with his back on the wood of the construction looking right at her direction. She couldn’t see him properly because of the darkness, but she felt like something was about to go wrong.

His body language told her that something was wrong. He didn’t call her for some cuddles, he needed her. Even if she was still mad as hell with him now she decided to help him, ready to jump out of the window.

“This couldn’t wait until the morning?” She asked, trying to brake the tension between then with a fake smile on her face and a giggle. She opened her window and proceeded to jump on the green wet grass of her garden. Her window was on the first floor, so it wasn’t that hard to do this action and of course she had become a professional then. Her ankle hurted a bit, but she didn’t care: the goals was to figure out what was going on.

“I left you multiple missed calls” He mumbles, still not meeting her eyes. He was looking at the ground, messing with his own hair.

“Yeah, sorry I was sleeping” (Y/N) said, a little sarcastic. What else was she supposed to do? “Can you at least look me in the face?” She snapped, wanting his full attention.

And when he did face her, her heart almost stop. The beautiful face she always looked up in her mind when she missed him was now replaced with this now image: his mouth was full of blood, and the red stains cover his face arriving even on his cheecks. He didn’t even bothered cleaning him self or covering the blood, maybe thinking that wasn’t necessary. (Y/N) mind wondered if that was his blood or if he had fought someone.

The anger become to grow inside her chest, looking at the boy’s eyes with rage. What the hell had happened to him? (Y/N) knew that if he wasn’t at the police station to report the aggression was because that aggression was either his foult or was caused by illegal factors. And (Y/N) started to belive that the drugs was part of the equipment.

“Tell me this- She started, pointing with her chin to the mess his face was- has nothing to do with that Pugue-drug dealer” She begged, trying to hold his cheeck on the palm of her hand. He flitched, taking a few steps away. He didn’t denied the accusations, so (Y/N) figured out that was exactly what she feared. “Look, I dont need a lecture right now. I just need a place to stay for the night, if I go home looking like this my father will kill me”.

“I’m not helping you if you don’t explain yourself, Rafe” (Y/N) screamed with rage in her eyes. She hated what he was becoming, and she hated more the fact that she couldn’t save him form himself. His drug addiction was going to kill him, in some sort of way. And the first effects of his illness where showing with big red stains on his face. What was he thinking?

“What?” He exploded, not believing that (Y/N) was being such a bitch towards him. She was supposed to be his friend, and friends help each other.

“You heard me. You need to fucking stop getting high” She snapped back, waving a hand right in his face “Can you understand me or the crack burned all your neurons?”.

He left a little laugh leave his mouth. She was becoming really annoying at this point, and he started to regret calling her for help. Why didn’t he call Topper? God damn it, even JJ Maybank would have been more helpful.

“No, You don’t get to tell me what to do. Your not my father!” He fumed, rising his voce while his red eyes opened even wider. (Y/N) wasn’t scared of him (she was scared of anything), and she knew she could top him anytime she wanted with the perfect line.

She knew where it hurted, and wasn’t playing around at all.

“You’re right, I’m not. I actually give a shit about you” She said, lowing her voice enough to make the sentance even colder. His face muted from anger to hurt, showing his most fragile side: Rafe hated feeling vulnerabile, and (Y/N) knew it.

She always liked looking inside peoples head, trying to figure out why they behaved like they did. She wanted to become a profiler or psychiatrist, and Rafe was her favorite subject. (Y/N) knew about his bad relationship with his father, the drug issues, anger issues and had seen that if moved in the correct way Rafe would crumble completely.

“Fuck you, (Y/N). You don’t know what your talking about”

“Then tell me why you called me?” She asked, nodding her head in a sarcastic way waiting for him to explain the reason. “Tell me why’d you only call me when your high?”.

Rafe couldn’t say anything to calm her at this point: (Y/N) had every right to be mad at him.

“Look, I promise I will get better” He tried, looking as the girl in front of him took a huge breath “Yeah, I’m sure you will... do you thing I’m that fucking dumb?”

(Y/N) felt so sorry for him. She knew it wasn’t her job to drag him out of his messy life but she couldn’t leave him like that. Not him feeling like he wasn’t good enough and alone in that cold summer night.

“Im trying to change your mind” She said again, more softly. Begging him to listen to her without actually telling him to. Rafe looked at her with a confused sight, not understanding the suddenly change of her behavior. Was she still mad at him or not?

“What? You want to help me now?” He asked with hope in his voice, taking a step forward. “When you look at me like that, what else I’m supposed to do? Your face looks like shit” (Y/N) tried to say, while looking behind her back. They had screamed like two gorillas before, and now she was afraid someone was going to catch them with their hand in the cookie jar.

(Y/N) took her car’s key from the pocket, waking in her pajamas towards the spot she usually parked it. And Rafe followed her silently, watching every moviment of the girl. She walked slowly and well aware that if they get caught she will never be able to see him again.

Rafe couldn’t help but think how much her skin seemed to glow under the moon’s light, making her seem like an angel. He didn’t know if it was because of the drugs, in fact he still had a great dose inside his body, but, while she was looking behind her shoulder for him, he caught the desire to kiss her.

“Why the fuck are you looking at me like that? Move your stupid ass inside” She snapped, pushing him inside the car while she took the driver side, putting his belt on as soon as she sit down.

“I’m not a child, (Y/N). Stop treating me like one” He declared, looking outside putting the car’s window down “Well, you sure act like one”

“Where are we going?” Rafe asked, still pretty confused “Are you taking me home? (Y/N) you said you wouldn’t!”.

“I know what I said” she snapped, topping him once more “I’m taking you somewhere safe. It’s a mansion my dad bought last summer, we go there almost every Christmas. So for tonight no one is going to disturb your beautysleep, princess” She said, making fun of him just a bit “Damn, you’re so mean” He commented, making her eyes roll with nuisance.

“Mean?” (Y/N) mocked him, looking at the guy with a little smile on her mouth. How funny. She was the mean one now. “Don’t act so bossy with me, I’m not your stupid boyfriend” Rafe continued, showing once again his jealousy towards her. Since he saw (Y/N) and Pope talk in front of school, last weekend, Rafe was dying to beat his ass.

“Shut up, you don’t even know what a relationship is. All you know is smoke weed and drink alcohol with your stupid friends. Too afraid of being seen with me, apparently” She broke out, not even looking him right in the face. Her eyes now glued on the road. Why the hell did she said that out loud? He wasn’t supposed to know how much his behavior metter to her.

“Nonsense” He responded slowly, as if someone else was listening their conversation. He was so tired he couldn’t even keep his eyes open, lying his head on the passenger seat “I’m in love with you” He continued “I just don’t want anyone to know I have feeling” Then explained, feeling his cheeck burning for embarrassment “I’m too messed up, my problems would effect you and I dont want that”

“Seems like it already does” She noticed, not wanting to belive he just told her he was in love with her.

“(Y/N). Do you like me like that?”

“Your high Rafe, I can’t have this conversation with you”.

#rafe outer banks #rafe cameron #rafe x reader #imagines Rafe #your name #obx kooks #Spotify

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spoonfullasugaaa · 3 years

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Rapper Bae Pt. 1

STORYTIME ! This all started last March (right before the pandemic) when one of my good girlfriends from college came to visit me from LA. She booked a hotel in Midtown for the week, so I headed over to pregame before we went to the club. (What happened at the club is a whole ‘nother story time and involves another rapper who has been recently incarcerated due to his involvement with the Untouchable Gorilla Stone Nation” if you can pick up what I’m putting down.)

Anyway, so we go to the club, have a ball, and end up seeing an old college friend of ours who is now a sound engineer working for Atlantic records. Sound engineer friend is thirsty for my LA friend, and tells us to come to the studio tomorrow for a smoke sesh. We figure we’ll stop by the studio after dinner but before we head out to LA friend’s NYC sponsor’s penthouse for drinks.

*the next day* We hop in my car, and head to dinner. We were going to some steakhouse on the west side, but ended up at Pio Pio instead. The food was bomb. We smoked and then decided to head over to the studio. This was at Penthouse Studios btw. So we hop out of the car, and head to the studio entrance where there’s an elevator you can only access with a key or if someone from up top brings it down. We call up thirsty Studio Engineer friend who promptly comes to collect us. We get in the elevator and ofc, we head to PH level to get to the studio.

The studio was absolutely gorgeous! It even had the starlight ceiling to make it resemble the night sky. I guess we got there when the session was just starting because there were 2 other birkenstock-and socks-wearing ass white boys setting up sound equipment and mixing music in the studio as well. Thirsty sound engineer friend introduces us to the other sound engineers, and they all proceed to start to roll hellla backwoods. When I say Hella backwoods i mean like 8-12. We all start smoking heavy, and a CAMERA CREW walks in.

At this point my friend is just smoking and casually vibing with studio engineer friend bc they’re from LA where cameras are normal lol. I on the other hand am a normal human being and was just like ... okay I’m happy that I look great today and the free smokes are also much appreciated lol, but why the fuck are there cameras here and why are they recording us???? In walks two A list rappers! They pretty much came solo other than 2 security guards.

The cameras then turn to them. The sound engineers greet them and are excited to start working. At this point everyone is in the studio doing their part. Camera crew is rolling, engineers are mixing and the rappers are smoking/preparing to listen to one of their albums that was about to drop, and WE are looking beautiful, giving good vibes, and enjoying the weed/atmosphere/music.

Now girls, we all know that it’s important to always be the most beautiful woman in the room. I was there with two of my good girlfriends, who are both gorgeous, but these were rappers from Atlanta. They like em thick and pretty down south, which I am. That’s the only reason I can say I was chosen over my other girlfriends. It’s not always about being the most beautiful in the room, but being honest with yourself about what certain men want 🤷🏾‍♀️

Anyway, the one rapper who had a project dropping soon played the whole thing for us while we smoked and hung out with our engineer friend. This whole time the camera crew is making some sort of documentary where they follow the rappers almost 24/7.

We decided it was time to leave, and I noticed one of the two rappers noticing me. Let’s call him Rapper Bae for now. At first I ignored him, bc he was kind of short in person, but he was fine, ICY and had some cute dreads. He ended up complimenting me and asking for my number. He gave me his gmail and number since he said he was constantly changing numbers. He said he wanted to see me the next day and that he would only be in NYC for the weekend as he really lives in ATL. I said cool and agreed to meet him at an event for Bellaire Rose the next day. He texted me all night about how beautiful i was and how he couldn’t wait to see me again.

The next day I ended up not feeling like going to the Bellaire event. He texted me all day begging to see me and asking me to come to another studio session that night, as he was required to be there by the label since his album was dropping soon. Although this is non-traditional and I usually would have said no to such an imprompu meeting (that was not even a date), I knew he was leaving and I did want to get to know him. So I agreed and linked at the studio. When I got to the studio, I called him and he sent a sound engineer down to get me.

Sound engineer asks are you “my name”? I’m like yes. So he takes me back up to the PH where Rapper Bae is waiting. Now, even though Rapper Bae and I only met briefly yesterday we had an instant connection. As soon as the sound engineer brought me to him, he put his arms around me. When I tell you this man held me like I was his wife of 3 years yall... i was like 😍 ! He then leans in and KISSES ME on the lips! We shared like 3 or 4 cute kisses, literally like how you kiss your man when you guys have been away from each other for a few days. The kisses and the hugs, it was all very genuine and loving for our first time really hanging out. The whole night he would record a bit, and then come back to check on me. He’d give me little kisses and nibbles on the ear and neck and ask if I needed anything.

We ended up really enjoying hanging out at the studio together. He said he didn’t smoke but he drank. I said i had henny in the car and for him to come with me to go get it. He says No. I’m like eXcUsE mE? He’s like yeah im in a foreign city u know im not from here I could get robbed I don’t have my gun on me blah blah blah. I was disgusted. Because he’s a rapper he can’t come down to my car with me??? He’s like, okay I can come. He then calls security who escorts us to my car to grab the henny and back into the building. PAUSE — the elevator at the stu requires a KEY! That none of us HAVE ! So we stood downstairs for about a half an hour with security until someone finally came down the elevator since no one in the studio can hear their fucking phone ringing apparently and was high out of their mind — even when the artist whose album is dropping is calling 😅😂

Eventually we get back up there, and it’s about 3am now so I decide to leave since rappers don’t fucking sleep. He offers to get us a room so we can spend the night together, but I decline. He was very accepting of me declining and said he would see me next time he was in NYC or I was in his city. *spoiler alert* i went to his city, where he did something VERY FUCKED UP and is no longer Bae.

Part 2 coming as soon as I type it up !

#he basically abandoned me and put me in so much danger #personal #spoonfull #story time #atlanta #nyc

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ultraklll · 4 years

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Tony Miller as a Gun For Hire! Tagged by the lovely @envyfelled ! Ty! This was super fun! Also, I'm on mobile, so sorry for the garbo formatting! (Fun fact, tonys voice claim is laura bailey as fiona/fem!boss)

Paired With Fangs For Hire:

Boomer - "Heya buddy!" followed by excessive scratching behind the ears | "Fuckin' love this dog, can sniff out a peggie like shark sniffing out blood. Good trait to have! Awfully convenient too…" | [patpatapatptpataptap] | "Atta fuckin' boy Boomer!" When she sees him get a kill | "Who's a good boy! Who wants to kill some cultists!" | "Wanna play fetch? Rip out their necks?"

Peaches - "Good girl…" | stealth gang stealth gang | peaches: mows down peggies/tony: a baby!" | "I jus' think it's funny that when we went to the Henbane, we picked up a cougar, Addie, an actual cougar, Peaches, and joined a crew called the Cougars… Just'a thought,"

Cheeseburger - "This reminds me'a Vegas pride, saw plenty'a bears there too" | "Kinda ironic to find you in Jacob's region, all things considered," [snickers to herself] | [PATPATPATPATPATPAT] | "Get outta my pockets! These snacks are mine, not yours!" | "You remind me of those like, beware of dog signs, but the dog is always a sweetheart who'd rather play with a home invader rather than attack them,"

Paired With Other Guns For Hire:

Jess - stealth gang stealth gang stealth gang | Jess has a MASSIVE crush on Tony. Everyone can tell. Tony knows | jess: guns are fucking lame and the sniper rifle is the cowards weapon/ tony: uses a sniper rifle/ jess: actually sniper rifles are cool as fuck | "Good shot Jess!" "S-shit, um, thanks, Tony,"

Grace - sniper gang sniper gang!! | [steals a headshot Grace was lining up] "Cmon Gracie, thought you were meant to be Olympic level!" | highly competitive, do a shot whenever they get a perfect headshot to die instantly | smug top solidarity | also heavily depressed solidarity

Adelaide - [acts like she's not sleeping with her nephew even tho Addie knows she definitely knows] | Tony is either constantly laughing or constantly face palming over the shit addie says | have gotten into an argument once bc addie said john was a top

Nick - "What's up eye in the sky?" | [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [fli | Nick: speaks/Tony: god I just love the way you fucking talk | often talk about kim together | "Can we have a barbecue at your place once these fuckers are dealt with?" | [pretends not to be bitter the Deputy got to help deliver Carmina and not her]

Sharky - "Heya baby!" | [constant back and forth flirting. It's embarrassing] | any second they're both not talking is a second they're making out | Can and Will go john wick on some peggy ass if he gets hurt badly | "Do you wanna have a sleepover?" "Lemme ask my momma," | she calls him Charlie :> | loves him so so much they're just constantly talking about anything and everything | literally like A Comedic Duo. Have together for certified funnies

Hurk jr. - "Junior! This'll be just like Kyrat!" | competitions about who can shotgun a beer faster every 4 seconds | WILL tell you stories about their time in Kyrat together | Tony has punched Drubman sr in the nose before and she'll do it again | "Hey Tony? You still in contact with Ajay?" "He sends me a royal postcard every now n' then. Apparently it's boring being king, and his only solace is that his new bodyguard is cute,"

In Combat:

Seeing an enemy - "Fucker in my sights," | "I got a bullet with your name on it… actually I don't, who the fuck has time to carve names in bullets, but you get the idea- im just gonna shoot you now" | "You're dead on arrival, shithead,"

Sneaking - "You'd think me sneaking is counter productive because I'm 6'4 and have a very loud gun, but you're the boss Dep," | "Shhhh… we're huntin' shitheads… Heard it in a game," | [shoots alarm boxes] "You ain't allowed to call your friends, you're all grounded," | *peggy triggers alarm* "Fuckin snitch!"

Killing an enemy - "SKULLCRACKER!" | "I just don't miss!" | just fucking headshot after headshot after headshot | [sucks in breath through teeth] "God damn I'm good," | when shes not using her Wifle (wife rifle, a 45/70) she's being FUCKING EFFICIENT with her ak-ms or just blasting ribcages open with her shotgun

Reviving - "Up you get, baby," | "You ain't dying on me that easy, Dep" | "Not today Satan!" | "You gonna let some unwashed asshole kill you?"

Hurt - "Motherfucker!" | "That's another scar I'll tattoo over," | "Thank god people find scars sexy," | "God fuck that's smarts!"

Downed - "Dep! Give me a hand?" | "Clean up on Aisle 4 needed!" | "Don't worry about me, just bleeding out over here, no rush,"

Revived - "Drinks on me when this is over Dep," | "Thanks babe!" | "I'll kiss you when we get outta this mess," | "I owe ya!"

Driving:

Entering a vehicle - "Lemme take over I'm a way better driver than you," | "Floor it!" | "Hang on I've got a mixtape, just hope I havent fuckin' crushed it," | [takes the opportunity to roll cigs] | *peggies roll up* "Keep her steady!" [leans out the window and headshots the peggie on their ass, causing them to crash the car, like that isnt the coolest shit you've ever seen] "Aight cool,"

Reckless Driving - "Watch the fuckin' road asshole!" | [desperately tryna grip the wheel so she can take over driving] | "STOP THE CAR! I'LL JUST FUCKING WALK!" | "Are you tryna kill us?! Fuckin' swap seats now!" | tony is the designated driver bc one she's fucking good at it and two shes also a really bad backseat driver. Just let her drive

Changing Radio Stations - "Now don't tell Charlie I said this but some of the peggies music is actually good,"| "John's a prick but his music taste is fuckin' good," | [punches radio in when Only You comes on] "...Sorry… Force'a habit…" | "Bold and brave my ass, John looks like he needs help getting spiders out of rooms and wears fuzzy pink bathrobes,"

Idle:

"Man, John's a freak, and yeah I mean that in the sexy way. Someone who demands so much outward control whilst being a shithead little brat likes to get trussed up like a thanksgiving turkey and stuffed like one too. Don't give me that look Dep, I'm right and we both know it,"

"That dude Jacob ate was called Miller?? God, that could've been me if I was much older and way uglier!"

"Faith just makes me fuckin sad man. She's been manipulated and groomed into this life by fuckin Joseph- she's so goddamn young too. I'm not gonna tell you what to do Dep, but that's just my two cents,"

"Joseph's the worst kind of man- a manipulator. He tells you what you wanna hear, targets the misfortunate who have nothing left to lose, builds a fucking army out of em. The other heralds I'm ok with arresting, but Joseph's got to go,"

[Lights cig with either her fancy lighter or by striking a match on the bottom of her shoe] "Don't start smoking, Dep, bad for your health,"

Location Specific:

Testy Festy Aftermath - [pinches bridge of nose] "Not again…" | "Anyone got a water and like, 3 aspirin?" | "Ain't the first time I've woke up passed out in a field, won't be the last," | "Did we at least get a photo from the night? I've won the competitions here for the last 3 years in a row now, I'm not fuckin missing one cuz of these peggies,"

Falls End - "Fuckin shame to see Falls End like this, but Mary May and Jerome will take good care of her now weve got it back, they always do," | "Think we'll get free drinks for life at the Spread Eagle when this is all over? Actually, we probably won't even get free drinks for week, so for life is wishful thinking," | she enjoys playing with the singing fish on the front of the speed eagle and keeps tryna convince Mary May to let her take it for herself bc tony goddamn miller has the biggest singing fish collection in the entire county

Seed Ranch - *loud whistle* "this place is swanky as fuuuuck… Not that big a fan of all the dead animals though…" | "IS THAT WEED ON THE TABLE? Johnny boy you fuckin' hypocrite!" | "Oh he's definitely got a secret room behind one of these bookshelves, like a home torture room? Oh my God, what if he has more than one...?" [starts frantically pulling books off shelves] | regarding his shelves with peggie memorabilia [takes baseball bat to it] | [pretends she's never been here as she frantically stuffs any of her own belongings she might've forgotten here into her bag]

Entering the Henbane - "Don't trust a goddamn thing you see here. You think you see something you're not supposed to, hit it," | [swinging at bliss induced angel/animal/faith visions] | "Can we try savin' Faith? Don't feel right killin' her, she's so young…" | "Can we go to Sharky's place? I left some stuff there that could be worth picking up,"

Hope County Jail - "Sheriff Whitehorse has always been a good man to me, Dep. Would appreciate it if he lived through this," | "I always feel like a giant whenever I come here, everyones like 5'3. Virgil, Tracey, Charles, all shortasses," | "I think it's cute they gave you a little pin! You're part of their Pride now! Or whatever the cougar equivalent is to a lions pride… do Cougars even travel in packs? Aside from when Addie used take the girls out for drinks,"

Entering the Whitetails - "Always feels like something's watchin' you in these woods. Keep your eyes peeled," | "Always felt like there's something in these woods that there ain't supposed to be…" | [Shifting from foot to foot] "Can we get a move on? Aint'a big fan of standing around waitin' to get shot by some fuckin' sniper with a bow," | [watching Jacob's video punishing Pratt] "I'll fuckin' get you outta here, Stace… you just gotta hold out a second longer," | [about all the dead bodies and 'you are meat' graffiti] "Love what Jacob's done with the place,"

The Wolfs Den - "Eli Palmer is a good fuckin man. Kind, smart, careful and ruthless against peggies. We've made a good friend here, Dep," | "Heya Wheaty! Got a few more vinyls for your collection! They're all my own though, so be careful with em," | "I don't think Tammy likes you that much Dep. I don't think she likes much of anything anymore, other than attaching jumper cables to Peggy's nipples… Oh god, my piercings hurt thinking about it,"

Joseph's Island - [hand firmly on rifle grip] | "Creepy, evil motherfucker, had him pegged right from the start. Well, not pegged. I'm not pegging Joseph. I'd rather stick my dick in a ceiling fan then go anywhere near him- I'm just gonna stop talking," | "You know what? No one else has asked it so I'm gonna- where the fuck does Joseph sleep. In the church? In one of these houses? In the dirt somewhere? What if he hangs upside down from trees like a bat?"

#shut up mof #oc: tony #long post #ty miles!!!#this was really helpful actually was super fun thinking about tony being a gun for hire #amd got to help me with writing her

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neo-culture-mafia · 5 years

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Chest Fire (l.dh)

Warnings: |Strong Themes| |Triggering Themes|

Summary: He wasn't the same. No one was, really. But, especially him...Donghyuck. He lost you and can't bear feeling sober anymore. He needed to be numb so he didn't feel himself and get lost in his own mind. But the guys are getting tired of watching Donghyuck drink away his money--but the damage had already been done.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Donghyuck stumbled the now home feeling club where sweaty bodies pressed against each other and peach scented vodka drifted through the humid and sticky air.

The alcohol was making his fingers turn into fire as his toes curled in his combat boots. Another random girl walked up to offer him a dance, but he turned her away already knowing that she couldn't move like you. You were special, and no whore at the club could compare to you, yet he still came crawling back here for the simple fact he couldn't crawl back into bed with you.

He was lost and needed help because his heart was losing its sense of direction. The booming of the bass vibrated through his shoes as his fingers curled into his palm. He needed to stay balanced and he was finding it harder with every passing minute.

He lousily made his way over to a bar stool, not wasting a second before sitting down. "Anoth-" Hyuck was cut off by the bartender. "Im sorry buddy, I'm cutting you off. You've had way too much to drink tonight." He said and Donghyuck was just sitting there, his mouth wide open in shock.

"I am...You-you should..." He slurred over his words, trying to at least get 5 more drinks out of the bartender he now deemed as a friend. Yet, this guy saw himself as Hyuck's friend too, and friends don't let each other kill themselves by drinking their pain away...even though it might help.

Yet, the raging fire in Hyuck's chest only became more apparent at the sudden news of his cut off.

"I think it's time I call Mark, Hyuck. It's time to go home." The bartender said grabbing his phone from his back pocket; and like a cherry bomb...Hyuck exploded.

"No." He slammed his fists on the bar like a 5 year old. "No no no." He repeatedly said slamming his hands down. "Give me more. You're not my father." Donghyuck said and the bartender just sighed and felt pity at the sight.

Stares were coming from each direction as the man gave in to Donghyuck's wants for more liquor. Hyuck sat down, drinking his beer through a straw because he had read somewhere that women liked 'sophisticated' men. Yet, even after 20 minutes of him sitting there sipping his bitter liquid through a neon yellow bendy straw, he finally gave up when he was now drinking air through the endless loops of the bendy plastic.

Even if someone came over and talked to him, he knows he could never take them home to where you used to lay; where you and him had pillowtalks; where you and him did things that only the moon kept secret. It would never be the same...no matter what girl came skipping along.

This was his last resort on trying to cap the memories he had with you. The alcohol was no match for his loneliness though, and it was starting to show. "Hey buddy, you good?" The bartender asked, putting a hand on Hyuck's shoulder. "Uh yeah...totally." Donghyuck chuckled. He turned to face the other man again. "How much is my tab?" Hyuck asked as he grabbed his wallet.

"Why? Usually you pay after 2 weeks." The guy said as he dried a glass lazily. "Not this time my man." Hyuck said fooling around with his wallet. "No, seriously. It's fine." The bartender said going into a folder and ripping up pieces of paper that were labeled as receipts.

"I was gonna pay!" Hyuck said getting defensive. "No...I promise it's fine." The bartender said and Hyuck groaned as he still slipped a 100 out and gave it the worker. "For all the trouble I caused." He said and the man just grabbed it hesitantly. "Thank you?" He questioned, but Hyuck was already out the door with another beer in his ring adorned hand.

He stumbled in a literal circle for 20 minutes. "Hyuck." He heard someone call. It sounded like you. He immediately stopped and looked at the beer. "Hyuck!" Someone screamed this time. "Y/n?" He called out, turning around now. His heard was whooshing with all the passing traffic; all the bright city lights blending together. The fire on his chest wanting to grow more and more at the such sweet sound.

"Y/n!" He yelled and the people passing him gave dirty looks but he was trying to find you. "Hyuck." Someone grabbed him from behind. He whirled around and was met eye to eye...with Jaemin. "...y/n..." is all that Hyuck muttered to himself.

"No. It's Jaemin." Jaemin reassured and the delirious boy could only nod, meaning he could understand him. "It's time to go home now." Jaemin said holding Hyuck's arm and leading him to a car.

"Can we go to y/n's place?" Hyuck asked like a five year old who just lost his favorite toy. Jaemin opened the passenger door and helped the boy in.

You and Jaemin were twins. You were siblings but acted like best friends, so naturally when you and Hyuck started dating, the three of you became family. So seeing Hyuck so hung up about you leaving him...it hurts Jaemin too.

"I don't think that's a good idea, buddy." Jaemin sighed, buckling his best friend up. "Please. I need to see her." Hyuck gripped Jaemin's hand. "Please." He choked out, tears ready to spill at any moment.

Jaemin removed his hand and groaned; slamming the door with such a force that it rocked the car a little.

-------------

"We're here." Jaemin braked hardly infront of the homes for you and what seemed like a million other people. Hyuck was jolted awake, but he was still thankful for the hour trip Jaemin made.

Jaemin just looked out his window and sulked like a pouty baby. Hyuck had sobered up a little and he was able to control himself and his own body.

He hopped out of the car and walked the short way to the gate. He opened the small gate and walked up the foot path to your house. The walking distance felt like muscle memory as he recognized the familiar feeling.

He was then met with the glimmering marble stuck in the ground. He stared at your engraved name in the ground. He just sighed, falling to his knees. "...hey baby..." He said sitting on his bottom and crossing his legs so he sat like a kindergartener in class.

"I miss you." He sighed again, tracing hearts next to your name. "Jaemin misses you...he's just...scared to come visit you..." Hyuck said looking back to the boy sitting in the car. Even in the complete darkness of night, anyone could see Jaemin's body shake with sobs. The light behind him made it look like a shillouete. It was absolutely beautiful yet heartbreaking.

Yet his body straightened again and you could see Jaemin light a cigarette quickly.

Donghyuck looked back down to you. "Jaemin started smoking again." He sighed and picked at the weeds growing around your headstone. "Renjun doesn't come out of his room except for missions." He said and recalled what the others were doing.

"I caught Jisung in your room, trying to talk to you...he's been a mess." Hyuck told of the younger boy, totally lost with the fact you aren't around anymore. "And...we're just all...really sorry it happened like this."

You died in a mission gone wrong. You had the option of staying in the truck with Chenle, or accompying Hyuck and Jaemin into the warehouse where Jeno, Renjun, and Jisung were working undercover. You all didn't hear the man sneaking up behind you, and when you did...it was too late.

Hyuck was twirling his engagement ring around his finger. "This is useless." He said and took it off, setting it right next to yours that was locked in marble forever. He leaned back and looked at the stars. They were so bright that night. It was crazy. "...let me let you go already..." He mumbled as he watched a star fizzle out completely.

"I love you." Hyuck said leaning down and kissing your stone sweetly. "...wait for me..." He said as he got up and walking away back to the car. He hopped in, now completely sober after the experience.

"Ready?" Your brother asked, ready to speed away from this place that held you imprisoned. "Yeah...I'm ready." Hyuck said and they zoomed away as if they were still threatened by the attacker that took you.

"..soon enough..." Hyuck whispered to himself, setting his chin in his hand and looking into the city. "...soon enough..." He closed his eyes.

----------

THE NEXT DAY

Hyuck didn't sleep at night, literally. He sat up on the rug the whole night, afraid of the harsh reality that once he opened his bedroom door, you wouldn't be there. He knew you weren't there, he just doesn't want to accept it.

You both were so strong and had so many plans for the future. You both wanted kids, a home, a life...and it was all down the drain now.

It was just getting harder to live everyday when his every breath felt like a gunshot to the chest. His mind was a bomb, and it was going off every time he is reminded of you and the way you used to tell him it was okay.

"You fucker." Jaemin yelled as he shot the man down quickly. Hyuck dropped his gun and grabbed you as you began to drop.

"Chenle, get 127 unit down here, man down." Jaemin called and Hyuck was still frozen in shock, yet the bullet stuck in your neck made him snap in and out of this icy trance.

"Come on, you got this. Keep your eyes open." Hyuck said taking off his bandana and getting ready to wrap it around your throat so it can stop the bleeding. Yet, you wouldn't be able to breath . Him and Jaemin realised this at the same time, as your eyes became icy and pale. You were dying. You realised this too. It would be a painful and gruesome way to go, but it was happening.

"It's okay." You motioned with your mouth, the hole in your throat, not letting you speak. The look on your fiancés face would haunt you to the other side. He looked so...scared. "It's okay. I'm here." You mouthed again and touched his cheek. He just looked down at you as you took your final breath. Jaemin hasn't told anyone yet, but he was so ready to pop one on himself in that very moment, yet he was so convinced this was a dream that all he did was stare down at your cold and pale face.

Jaemin woke up the next morning and wished he didn't. Hyuck didn't sleep till the next night; he was too afraid of the dark and the thoughts that would cloud his mind once he was alone, wanting to be with you.

Hyuck was now laying in a baby position, holding his legs close to his chest. The knocking on the door brought him out of his dark thoughts. "Open." He mumbled and the door opened to Jaemin.

"Dude...we've been at training for an hour now." He said and all Hyuck did was nod, understanding what he was saying. "Sorry?" He yawned and Jaemin slumped at his friends expression.

He sat down next to his laying position.

It was pure silence until it was sliced by Hyuck's heartbreaking confession. "It hurts." He said, and Jaemin didn't have to be a genius to figure out what he was talking about. "I know...i know." He said putting his hand on Donghyuck's shoulder. "It hurts so much." Hyuck cried, curling up into a tighter ball.

The firey feeling in Hyuck's chest was like never before. It felt so much different as your literal other half held him as he cried like a child.

The burning was unbearable as his eyes screwed shut in pure agony. Jaemin couldn't help the tears from pouring either. Sitting on the ground in yours and Hyuck's apartment was all too real. It was too real you weren't here anymore.

Hyuck finally calmed down and looked to his friend. "...please...please end this..." He begged and Jaemin couldn't yell at him. He wanted to end this pain too. The bottle of aspirin wasn't doing anything anymore. It all hurt too much for any medication to numb it.

"...I'm...not going to kill you..." Jaemin breathed, the words falling out of his mouth. "...please..." Hyuck became desperate to make the raging in his chest and head stop.

"I'm...no." Jaemin said standing up now, leaving Hyuck on the floor. "It hurts...I know...It hurts like hell. But, you can't give up now. She wouldn't be happy with this..." Jaemin started getting into his own mind.

He had been so long without one of your hugs or seeing you smile at his surprise tickle attacks.

"I...I know it seems like the only way. I know that." Jaemin said pulling at his hair.

"Because it is." Hyuck bursted through the air, throwing the TV remote at the wall. It ended up hitting the vase and made it shatter into a million little pieces.

"I'm tired! I'm tired of coming home alone! I could lie, and say it's okay and that I like it that way, but I don't!" Hyuck screamed, kicking things around to get his point across.

"It feels as if I'll never be happy again, and at this point I don't care. I just want this..." Hyuck said pointing to himself and all around the room. "this....I want this to end..."

They were left together in the quiet room, the only sound being their breathing. They could only look at each other at a time like this.

-----------

"I just don't know what to say anymore." Mark sighed as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair. They were all in practice, and Jaemin had left about an hour ago to find Donghyuck.

"None of us do." Renjun mumbled, twisting his leather bracelet around his wrist.

"He's gonna end up killing himself if we don't do something." Mark said what everyone was thinking. "We just need to get him out of the house." Mark finished as he grabbed his jacket.

"No...we should let him be alone...he'll just be aggressive if we tell him to move on." Jisung finally piped in, trying to get everyone to turn around and leave Hyuck alone.

"Jaemin has it...it will be okay." Jisung said, more of assuring himself than anyone else.

Everyone looked at each other in silence, even though they knew it wouldn't be okay...ever.

"...okay..." Mark said dropping his jacket and walking back over slowly.

"...30 pushups..." Mark said and the Junior Forces hit the ground, their worry and fear going into the performance they were all wearing on their face.

----------

"...i'm cold..." Jaemin muttered and Hyuck could only nod, the tears falling down into the blue water. "...me too..." He muttered.

He held Jaemin close to his chest, the water sloshing over the sides a little bit. "...it's going to be okay..." Jaemin reassured Hyuck, but also himself. "...i know..." was all that was muttered from the slightly older boy.

"...thank you..." was the last thing said by Hyuck before he grabbed Jaemin's hand. He closed his eyes as the banging and yells from the front door began to get more violent, the rest of the units trying to get to them. Yet, they were in the bathroom and no one could make it to them in time. It was already over.

Jaemin gripped Hyuck's hand one more time as he felt everything become still, shuttering in the cold water that entrapped both of their bodies. Both of their eyes closing, and the raging fire in their chests finally stopped....

...everything stopped...

○••••••••••••••••○

I honestly think this is the worst thing I have ever written, to be completely honest.

I might do a couple time stamps for what happens after...but...yeah. I hope you enjoyed it, and sorry in advance if I made you cry.

Love,

366 notes · View notes

askthetotallynotdehsquad · 5 years

Note

kleinsen being good and soft

Ava: teehee (Evan doesn’t know Jared likes him yet)

——————

Evan: *packing bc he’s sleeping over at Jared’s house??*

Jared: *puking up flowers and blood cause hanahaki*

Evan: *knocks on the Jared’s door* Jaredddddddd

Jared: f-fuck um- oNE S-SECOND- *pukes more and one whole flower and then stops cause thats all of them for today lol xD*

Evan: *puts his headphones on bc he’s waiting??*

Jared: *cleans up the bathroom and wipes his eyes cause he was crying cause it hurt and puts the flower in a bowl where he kept all of them cause it's a water lily cause I like them and opens the door for evan* hi, sorry I took so long, come in

Evan: *puts his headphones around his neck* it’s fine dude *walks in* I haven’t been here in forever oh my god-

Jared: *rubs the back of his neck* heh- yeah

Evan: *looks at thy Jared very concerned* you okay dude? I’m surprised you haven’t made a joke by now

Jared: im surprised you haven't kissed a tree! I'm fine, lol

Evan: *giggly boye* you sure?- Wait, why are your eyes so red? Are you smoking weed?!

Jared: um- yes?

Evan: uh- where should I put my bags? I don’t know if any of the house rules changes- since last time you didn’t let me touch anything-

Jared: we can bring them to my room cause thats where we're sleeping I guess

Evan: okay? *runs upstairs and falls in the process* OW

Jared: oh shoot- are you okay? *runs over to evan*

Evan: yeah- I just tripped that’s all! *smiley boye* *walks into thy Jared’s room*

Jared: *follows the evan* uh so you can sleep on my bed and I can sleep on the floor or whatever

Evan: dude it’s your house- I’ll sleep on the floor-

Jared: well like you’re the guest or something I don’t know

Evan: hhhhhh *flops on his bed* what do you wanna do

Jared: I dont know- wanna watch a movie?

Evan: sure! *sits up and sits against the pillows*

Jared: *sits next to evan* ummm... let's watch..... uh.... *puts on Hercules cause yes* this.

Evan: dork *giggly boye*

Jared: *red boye* shush-

Evan: wow Jared Kleinmen is blushing, from Evan Hansen- who ever thought

Jared: ugh- *hides face* i hate you tree man

Evan: love you too bathbomb

Jared: *feels a lump in his throat because I researched and like if you get affection from the person you love the symptoms get worse* um- i need to use the bathroom be right back *walks to the bathroom*

Evan: okay!

Jared: *locks the door and starts hanahaki-ing for like 5 minutes*

Evan: *walks to the bathroom door and knocks on it* you okay dude?

Jared: yep! I'm g-good just give me a s-second- *hanahki-s a full water lily cause thats what his flower is apparently* *also thats how he knows it's over for now*

Evan: okay! I’ll be in your room- I’ll pause the movie for you!

Jared: o-okay! *coughs up some more blood and cleans up*

Like- 5 minutes later: skskksksk

Jared: *walks in to his room and puts the lily in the water bowl*

Evan: you have...water Lily’s in your...bathroom?

Jared: a lot has changed, evan. *sigh* a lot

Evan: *sighs and hugs the Jared*

Jared: *blushes and hugs the tree* soooooo... why are you hugging me?

Evan: you seemed sad- and you don’t get enough love

Jared: *metaphorically melts into the hug and lays his head on Evans shoulder*

Ali: (I'm sorry im so used to being a bottom)

Ava: (Dont worry dude bc same)

Evan: *ruffles the Jared’s hair* you okay?

Jared: ......huh? What? Wait yeah I'm good haha *stops hugging the evan and is v red* so uh- wanna keep watching the movie?

Evan: sure! *sits on his bed and closes the blinds so it can be dark* it’s like a real movie theater!

Jared: yeah! *in his mind cause I feel like it 😋 (how in the fucking fuck can someone be so god damn cute-)

Ava: dang Jared

Evan: *unpauses the movie and leans against the pillows* *puts an oversized hoodie on uwu*

Jared: *(what in the frick frack cracker jack)

Evan: *rests his head on Jared’s shoulder teehee*

Jared: *blushblushblush*

Evan: is it bad I’ve never seen this movie-

Jared: I mean i dont know I guess?? *worried he'll have another hanahaki attack with all this love ;-;*

Evan: Jared...are you okay? Ever since I got here you’ve looked like you’re going to throw up- should I leave?

Jared: nonononono!!! It's fine!! I'm fine!!

Evan: *hugs the Jared from the side* no you arentttttt

Jared: e-evan i- *starts coughing up blood*

Ali: (he wasn't gonna confess he was just flustered :/)

Evan: holy shoot! Oh my god!- *runs to get towels*

Jared: *keeps coughing up blood and now- some flower petals*

Evan: *comes back with towels and sits down in front of Jared then looks at him* here du- are those...flowers?

Jared: n-no. Y-y-yes? *starts sobbing cause it hurts a lot ouchies* i-im s-so-sorry *coughs up more petals and blood*

Evan: hey hey hey- it’s okay Jare- I know what this is- cough it all up *rubs his back*

Jared: *starts coughing up wayyy more and even some full lilys bc like I said affection makes it worse*

Evan: oh shoot sorry! I forgot- *steps away from the Jared*

Jared: *coughs up a bit more and one like- huge heccin lily thats glowy pink (normally theyre white) :0*

Evan: oh my god..-

Jared: i-im sorry I'll- I'll clean this up- *starts cleaning up quickly and gently puts the pink one in the center of the bowl*

Evan: y-you like m-m-me..-

Jared: what?! No thats- thats insane haha-

Evan: y-yeah....insane

Jared: *picks up the bowl, sits down, and puts it on his lap* *oh and pushes them around gently with his finger*

Evan: Jared....can I um...tell you something?

Jared: hm?

Evan: I um....please don’t hate me- but...Ive liked you for awhile now. You’ve been really nice to me lately and I never knew why, but now I do. It’s fine if you have hanahaki because of Connor- it’s fine if you don’t like me- I’m just hoping this doesn’t trigger it-

Some of the smaller flowers: *die*

Jared: wait- wait hold up- wait- wait really? *starts crying* no no... no youre just playing with me- this is all a dream- stop- no-

Evan: Jared, I’m not messing with you...you aren’t dreaming- I like you

Jared: ohmygosh- oh- ohmygosh- *puts the bowl back down on the table and is still muttering ohmygosh to himself* *blushy boye*

Evan: *laughs a little* calm down Jare

Jared: *sits back down and looks at the ground* you know... I had.. that was 29 flowers.. one more and.. I wouldve died......

Evan: am I allowed to like...- touch you now?

Jared: yeah-

Evan: *hugs the jared*

Jared: *leans on the evan*

Evan: *pulls away from the Jared and looks at him then....kisses him teehee*

Jared: *flustered for a moment but then kisses him back*

Evan: Jared, I- I love you

Jared: I love you too you dweeb *kisses him agian but more make-outy?????*

Ava: Ali what-

Evan: *big blush man*

Jared: *pulls apart and gives him a look like is this okay cause catie told me once that you should do that*

Ali: (shush I dont know what words are)

Evan: *laughs* Jared you are such a dork, I love it

Jared: w-wELL-?!

Evan: *giggly boye*

Jared: *smiles* just kiss me already you acorn *kisses the evan agAiN*

Evan: *kisses thy Jared*

Jared: *runs his fingers through thy Evans hair*

Ava: Ali- where is this going

Evan: *big blush man*

Jared: *makes out with evan wow I did it im proud of myself :)*

-later-

Evan: *his hair is all messed up* so that happened-

Jared: *red boye* yeah-

Evan: you’re a good kisser Kleinmen

Jared: *giggle sk* no u

Evan: uno reverse card *giggle sk*

Jared: ugh fineeeeee- *fixes his glasses cause they were tilted cause ;)*

Evan: well I never got to watch the movie- I guess I’m too hot to handle

Jared: pretty much

Evan: o-oh I was j-joking- *hides under the blanket*

Jared: *giggles* youre such a dweeb

Evan: *still under the blanket* shushhhh

Jared: *goes under the blanket and cuddles the evan*

Evan: *pink boye* *wraps his arms around the Jared*

Jared: *falls asleep*

-a couple hours later-

Evan: *poking thy Jared* Jareeeeee wake uppppp

Jared: *wakes up* momm its nott- oh hey evan-! *blush boy*

Evan: I never knew I looked like your mom *laughs*

Jared: nO thats disgusting eww- she just- normally wakes me up on Saturdays thinking its school. She's werid.

Evan: how- it’s Saturday?? I can’t even remember anymore

Jared: *shrugs* I have a good memory I guess

Evan: I’m just gonna say, I never thought in a million years, the Jared Kleinmen would like cuddles

Jared: *giggles* oh evan you dont even know

Evan: what else are you hiding from me

Jared: *becomes way to red to even speak* noTHINg-

Evan: tell meeeeeee pweaseeeee

Jared: *hides under his blanket* nO-

Evan: Jared I swear to god if you’re kinky like my brother-

Jared: no ew gross what huh

Evan: tell me Jare Bearrrrr

Jared: no-

Evan: hmmmmmm okay fineeeee *stares at the Jared* you’re really pretty...-

Jared: youre really hot

Evan: oh I- I- um..- *v v v v v v red*

Jared: *giggly boye*

Evan: that was very unnecessary Kleinmen *crosses his arms while being v v v red*

Jared: it's true

Evan: *puts his hand on his cheek and kisses him teehee*

Jared: *pulls him closer and kisses him back*

Evan: this is very gay

Jared: *finger guns* yeperino!

Evan: *giggly boye* you are so weird, but I love you

Jared: can we get back to kissing? (Please? Yo. Every action has an-)

Ava: equal opposite reaction-

Evan: o-oh y-yeah- *kisses the Jared*

Jared: *kisses the evan but ~~ly*

Evan: *is basically in Jared’s lap at this point-*

Jared: *has his arms wrapped around Evans hips ;))*

Evan: *has his arms wrapped around Jared’s neck;))*

Jared: *kisses evan but more ;))-y*

Evan: *big blush man*

Jared: *keeps kissing Thy evan shook :0*

Evan: okay Jared calm down *giggly boye*

Jared: *shrugs* youre just a really good kisser, acorn *stares at Thy evan smiling :)*

Evan: shush bathbomb

Jared: *in an amazingly good British accent because I feel like Jared would have a amazingly good British accent* oh evan my good sir, youre such a peach *kisses Evans hand* now if you'll excuse me for a moment, i shall go get food *goes to get food*

Evan: Jared wha- dork!

Jared: *yells from the kitchen* treeboy!

Evan: Adorable!

Jared: goddamn you! *comes back to his room and he has um.. spaghetti* f o o d

Evan: my mom knew this was going to happen- she knew you liked meeeeeeee *looks at the Jared*

Jared: well your mom is smart *we eating*

Evan: oh and I uh- I bought you something the other day- *gives him a bathbomb*

Jared: you know me so well *wipes a fake tear from his eye* ironically, i got something for you! *goes under his bed and grabs a succulent and gives it to evan* you can name it if you want-

Evan: *:0* I love it!! *hugs the Jared*

Jared: yay! *hugs the evan*

Evan: *snuggles in the Jared XD owo*

Jared: *plays with evans hair 0w0*

Evan: jare...will you be my boyfrienddddd

Jared: *straight face* no of course not... *smiles really wide and kisses the evan* dUDE OF COURSE!!! *v v smiley boye*

Evan: *breaks into a giggly fit and falls out of the Jared’s grip* yayyyyy

Jared: *teehee* hey evannnn guess whattttttttttttttttttt

Evan: whatttttttt

Jared: I love you *giggly boye oWO

Evan: I love you toooo!

Jared: so what are you gonna name the little guy? *sits on the ground with evan cause he fell or something and puts thy succulent in his lap*

Evan: hm...jelly bean!

Ali: im gonna make jared be able to do any accent really well and you can't stop me

Jared: *commits cowboy accent* howdy there jelly bean what are you doin' round these here parts

Evan: Jared what the hell!? *laughing*

Jared: *starts laughing too and is still committing cowboy accent* what? this is how I talk! Ya got a problem with that mister? *laughing so much sksjsksmskk*

Evan: n-no! This is just- *continues laughing*

Jared: *dies laughing and back to normal jared voice* jelly bean is beautiful

Evan: oh welcome back Jared, you got possessed by a cowboy

Jared: Oh my gosh I did?! *finger guns the air and looks around frantically* wOODY I KNOW YOU'RE HERE! I'LL SHOOT!! *trying not to laugh*

Evan: *cant breathe from laughing* oh my god-

Jared: *falls onto Evans lap* ohmygosh *dying laughing* i can't

Evan: *dying laughing* since when could you do all those accents?!

Jared: *shrugs* since forever I guess? I can do a lot more

Evan: oh lord please no

Jared: *giggles* okay okay- what do you wanna do now?

Evan: I don’t knowwwwwww

Jared: *puts jelly bean on the counter* wannaaaaaaa watch a horror movie??

Evan: okay! *sits under the blanket on the Jared’s bed* (it still looks like a movie theater in his room-*

Jared: *sits next to evan and puts on the man man bye*

The first death: wassup

Evan: *clings onto Jared’s arm*

Ali: oh my gosh it's literally the opposite of us

Jared: evan it has barely been 10 minutes in-

-Half way through the movie-

Evan: *screams*

Jared: *wraps his arms around evan* evy do you wanna turn it off? *genuinely concerned*

Evan: n-no it’s fine

Jared: oookayyy... *still worried*

-a bit more than halfway in-

Evan: *falls asleep*

Jared: *gently moves evan so he's laying down, turns off the tv, cuddles him and falls asleep too*

-next Day-

Evan: *wakes up* Jare bearrrr

Jared: *talks in his sleep cause I need to do this* *sleep giggles? Shut up okay* awee my little evy wevy

Evan: *big blush man but laughs and pokes the Jared*

Jared: *awakens and sees thy evan* oh h-hi evan- *big big big blush man*

Evan: how long have you dreamed of me Jare? *smiley boye*

Jared: w-well um- y-you see y-you i- um- *flustered gay distress increces*

Evan: what happened in that little “evy wevy” dream of yours

Jared: nOThIng-

Evan: awe c’mom tell your little Evy Wevy

Jared: *blushes deeper :0* nO-

Evan: okay okay- you can go back to sleep if you want baby

Jared: *is redder than a tomato* baby???? *dying* did you just call me baby??? *dying even more like wtf*

Evan: *shaking his head* mhm

Jared: *hides his face* evan why do you do this to me

Evan: awe because I cannnnn

Jared: oh my gosh *dying blushing woah*

Evan: *kisses thy Jared*

Jared: *kisses thy evan back*

Evan: *kisses his forehead* go back to sleep baby

Jared: fineeeeeeee *lays down with his head on Evans lap and falls asleep*

Evan: *gently moves Jared and lays down*

Jared: *clings onto evan*

Evan: *asleep*

Heidi: Evan sweetie it’s time to come ho- AWWWWWW

Jared: *stays asleep and clings onto evan tighter*

Evan: *whisper yells* mom what the hell! Go away!-

Heidi: I am posting this on Facebook! *walks away*

Jared: *nuzzles evan*

Ali: NUZZLES YOU OWO

Evan: *goes to get up but Jared won’t let him* Jare, I have to leave

Jared: *still a singular sleep*

2 notes · View notes

saportuh · 6 years

Text

ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician.

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf”

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for.

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME”

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY,

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow.

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

#finally posting it lmao #81218 #long post -

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loghainmactir · 6 years

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to get it out of my system, under the cut is basically a rundown of what has happened over the last 2 days n is why i havent been around (as much?). if there’s no READ MORE im very sorry i’m tagging this as long post so y’all can avoid it if it doesn’t. tw for talk of parents w mental illness, threats/violence etc i guess? Idk it’s a mess

basically what happened is my sister messaged me like “lol guess who’s in the psychiatric ward” yesterday night. i was pretty unsurprised bc basically up until now my dad has been SUPER wishy-washy: smoking a LOT of weed daily, going from friendly and approachable one minute & wanting to talk to my sister (because her and her boyfriend almost always have weed) to whipping around and threatening to “tear her face off in strips” over a misunderstanding where my sister went to his & his mum’s place, cigarettes “went missing”, and it turned out that he’d taken them, etc the next.

basically, his mental illness was gradually getting worse and worse until he snapped, bc his mum?? didn’t know how to deal with it (or was scared to ask him if he needed help? idk)

ANYWAY. cut to yesterday. cam messages me. i’m like... ok. cool. i hope he finds the help he needs.

THEN she messages me like. oh. actually, he never went to the hospital and now he’s missing.

Like, what? So I called my gran/his mum: he’d snapped at her and became verbally aggressive/abusive (apparently, I found out today, because he’d been trying to explain that their telephone provider was a waste of time... while being manic). so she called the cops.

LMAO. so they came over, basically BULLIED her into taking their sheet for an intervention order, and then took dad to the station. they did a “mental stability test” involving his name, date and location (sounding more like it was intended for drug addicts but u kno!!!), decided that his manic rambling & behaviour Checked Out 100%, and decided to let him go.

THE POLICE LET A MAN CLEARLY IN NEED OF SUPPORT JUST FUCKING GO. They offered him homeless support, and he declined, showed SEVERAL signs of severe mental illness, and they just let him go. This was three nights ago.

So, what does dad do? He walks. For 15 hours. To Bacchus Marsh, intending to get to Melbourne. In the rain, in the dark, from 6:30pm.

(Sometime between then and when we got to him, he also closed his bank account, sold his phone for $50, tried to cancel his Disability Support Pension and dropped his wallet off willingly at Centrelink.)

He also stole a small bottle of milk from a convenience store bc he had no money; he literally drank it in front of the woman at the counter and said he had no money.

Apparently he also ran into a transport officer, asked for directions back home once he realized walking to Melbourne wasn’t exactly feasible (I’m REAL fucking shocked & disgusted no one tried to help him by now tbh). He got home in time for the intervention order trial, napped in front of the police station beforehand... and then started walking again.

This time, from the court to my sister’s place. He spooked one of her roommates and then went to her boyfriend’s place. He hung out there until we got to him, and when we got to him he was in a state. He hadn’t eaten or showered since Wednesday, so we let him eat and shower.

I don’t think my sister knew what to do, and so for a while she was accidentally encouraging his thought processes and his ideas of avoiding the hospital. i managed to track it back and suggest that the hospital had warm, soft beds for him, because he’s literally homeless now, and nice food.

then for the next 6? hours i went with him, alone, and we went to the hospital. i got him in for a psych eval and admitted. the entire time from leaving cam’s boyfriend’s place to the time i left, he could not stop talking. it was like he had a million things in his head, and he wanted to talk about one thing, but then he jumped to the next as soon as an opportunity arrived.

Last time i saw him they hadn’t gotten him a bed/room in the psych ward bc it was full, so they aimed for the hospital rooms instead. i feel really bad for leaving him there but it was literally 11.30, my eyes & head hurt and i was hungry. like, i’m hopefully gonna scrounge up some change to go visit tomorrow (or get mum to take me in) n i’ll bring him some cake, but i just.

It’s really fucking hard seeing your dad like that when you hadn’t talked for a while leading to that. I felt like I was doing things myself & still am— I’m gonna let him use my savings account (it only has like 50c now) for his Disability payments since he doesn’t have one and at least that way he can’t be tempted to spend all of it (bc my account). like, i’m so exhausted.

#personal #long post #violence tw #parents tw #fathers tw #abuse tw?#idk anymore sorry im fucking EXHAUSTED #but i’m really glad he’s ok

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falconsandfishes · 6 years

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platonic relationship

i have a bone to pick with plato. see the socratic method is basically the scene in montynpython in which a woman is weighed against a peice of wood to determine if she is a witch. and this is pretty much also the measurement system women use for me judge a cardio junkie by his ability to withstand smoke fumes. ive been up all night listening to eminem because i wish that i had the mysogny that he had because logically i should be mad at these females who lie to me but apparently developmentally theyre limited.

so pretty much i just want my neck not to hurt and my side and platonic love isn really the kind which could support my lumbar spine but if you think im angry you are right and maybe if i rhyme my brain will work this time and ill finally be able to explain was never targeted at my objects of affections at all i like to walk around the mall see a cutie with a skirt on and she sees me looking at her tells her grandmother to leave her there because this place looks fun as she smiles at me there comes abu my friend who judges me and judges you and as i stare at her i can tell she wants me too probably more emotionally mature than my mom and a virgin with her skirt on and its workun but i have the confidence of a plastic bag floating in the wind shes cheesing while i hide behind her even though shes 4 11 and im 6 4 and because he was there i didnt pass because i dont cross paths but even thinking about having a girlfriend makes him mad. if shes too young for me i would have figured that out but it doesnt help that no matter how young or how old even the weather lady im told shes not right for me so will you make up your mind please can someone define maturity because apparently there is a reverse correlation between it and age and socrates was no sage im not really impressed that he drank poison similarly i smoke weed which takes me back to age three and birthday parties then i think about how much my life failed but only because everyone always stood in front of me. so snitch on me when i talk to you when youre in front of me at your desk and say your story about butterflies is the best begging middle and end. meawhile i havent even gotten to the first page of my legend of the sword it had a much more compliated plot which was cut off. then tell me i didnt count to tenthousand while you were listening to the teacher say the is spelled t h e and put me in a remedial reading class with a bunch of girls and address us as the girls so we can read books about a mouse who lives with his family in a house but if girls and boys are the same how can you explain i was the only one in that group to be bumped up to the advanced on by 2nd grade. i guess reading the encylopedia of animals wasnt a wase memorized their latin names bufo sativa phylobates. so by third grade i was getting so good at math that they took me out of class and had me testing material meant for 5th graders and it was really lame how can i explain all the flaws in the system to all the other people who were also ruined by it.

finally one girl who was definitely old enough for me waved at me when i looked at her and i got a boner and walked over to the ladies at the tea shop who looked at me with a disgusted look on their faces then some gangster looking dude older than i am replaces me with his hand on her shoulder.

before i was 18 i could beat up my dad and ever since then i knew not many people in my generation had much of a chance against me but i looked so thin they were not understanding. high iq causing depression have anothe smoke session even though you have athsma everyone remember to complain that i prefer to get high off one big hit i stayed in high school till i graduated but i left.

unfortunately with brain damage i could still make straight as which made me think i was ok gpa jumping above 3.68 when i only show up an agerage of 3 days.

practice your sky hook do your pushups get embaressed when an asian princess sees you do them 20 hanlaps perfect form and im not even a jock wow id better stop. next thing the girl i like is sitting on my lap in class telling me she likes me back shes sitting on my desk shes rubbing my face my life isnt gay justnsaynsomehing and youll get laid.

nah ill let some kid with adhd steal her seat and ill help him with math instead because i didnt tell her this but im alread braindead. my soul probably died with my pet lizard or my kitten perhaps it was internet addiction.

what makes you think youll be make it as a porn star? you know im hot. well maybe i just didnt want you to act like a slut. i still remember the blonde who waves at me and smiled my freshman year it was clear that the world was my oyster the only problem was i couldn make my own choices.

i wanted to be an actor but i was so good at acting nobody got it. was so good at debating everyone liked to argue. was so succinct couldnt get the last word. so fast nobody would pass me the ball so dominant in wrestling i had to pretend i couldnt win just to have a friend.

pretty much i feel like the last cro magonon stuck on an island without charlotte saisselin bounce baby bounce three story house you look so cute in a blouse. hey look theres charlottes stalker i think il wave my arms around.

bounce baby is a reference to eigth grade i was watching a 100 meter race and then some black guy said that she never raced again. weed turned her from a goth into a wigger and after that i figured id become one too but it wasnt till 2009 i started to dress like you. what happened was i got some clothes from olympia sports to wear as warmups on the basketball court and to work as a salesman i shaved my head smiled knowing i was dead but still i couldnt even say i wanted to kiss girl without that not being cool enough for my nephew and her bowl broke too

it fell from her car on the pavement and she said that he didnt even get to hit it.

so now im living in my dads room on the floor and finally my back isnt sore i have a well paying job im away from mom i have iron lungs and dad still doesnt approve because now i play too much basketball.

hi im interested in going to california. i meant connecticut but califonia will do since its warm there. sure steve come on out west but read the fine print your 20s are dead.

prove you wrong shame on me. dont prove you wrong brag proudly. stay out west and let your dad die. watch him act like an asshole at home back east one more time. your reward for having surived on the street for years as a middle clas kid

your friend says he thought you were dead. by the way he has this girlfriend in connectiut. oh you were the one who set him up with her? theres a whole website or three centered around her?

better get you to spend your money on heroin and make you seem like a jerk in front of my dad. my excuse is im skitzophrenic.

all because my dad shamed me for growing up even crazier than him. thats why i called up my friend and asked him to date my girlfriend.

there must have been something in those amphetamines which made me keep stopping at her house. i found them up on the shelf years after i tried to spill them out.

it was the first time an adult had ever called me immature. he also said my handwriting was bad and i needed a cure. talking to him i began to get red where even to begin? i have a lot of prblems at home and this isnt fair. see my dad camps in the yard and gets drunk watches us through windows andmy sister punches me in the head. mom pretty much works till shes in bed.

every day she watches the same soap opera and oprah which i record for her on tape. my sisters friends call me gay so i go over and play with the kids from the other neighorhood all day.

one of them listens to a lot of eminem. his favorite song is if you dont like it you can suck my dick. hes in reform school and proud to be off his meds. when i talk about biking down a steep hill and blending into traffic he thinks i meannliterall blend in.

two gay twin brothers end of the road honor roll kids. play baseball and have alcoholic parents. hey ill tell the girl steve likes he likes her then she will never talk to him again. accept his chalenge to a fight and he will bang my head into a tree which is the same thing i did to another kid who tried to jump me but got sperated from his friends.

refuse to dance with the only girl in middle school who has hips. make fun of the girls intelligence who sits next to you in math and has giant tits. refuse to eat candy off the first girls tounge then your science teacher who pushed pills on you flips on the tv its 911

stare at a girl all day and say you dont like her. girls think youre gay if you have a boner. telll me a calculator doesnt mattrer for a test but i do worse without one. make a flag pencil it isnt cool enough for the other kids.

sit with the retarded kids timmy and jimmy. watch nick all night fresh prince and bill cosby.

your sister wont stop torturing you so hold her at knife point. buy knives at school try to resell them and for the first time ever the kids you sold them to ge caught witth knives.

stay in the program with three teachers who gave up on you. one leaves to become a dean suddenly your grades go up. kids are jealous because you dont do homework. girls smile at you knowing that your test scores are high despite that.

throw shotput as far as a high school kid without any exercise or practice. run around the track dozens of times in pants you still arent good enough yet.

go to an alternative program reluctantly in high school its sort of like jail. everyone smells like cigarettes the air is stale. this isnt good for you but we will make you think if you leave you will fail.

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thoughtslikeocean · 3 years

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New Orleans

June 23

-This was Rhyann’s last day with me. His flight left Phoenix at 1 PM. We spent the morning together and then I brought him to the airport. I came back home, packed, cleaned up a bit and then head out to catch my flight. Traveling was long. My flight was delayed and also I had a lay over in Las Vegas. Which feel very senseless when you’re traveling to New Orleans. Anyway, I arrive in New Orleans around midnight. Britt picks me up from the airport. Traveling is smooth because I decided I didn’t need to check a bag. I packed two and a half outfits and went on about my way.

June 24

-Britt woke up this morning to go to brunch with her friends. She invited me but I was way to exhausted to go so she let me sleep in for a little while longer. Our plan was to hangout and then meet Jarvis later which is pretty much what happened. Brittany had to bring her friend’s dog to the boarding place which was an entire event honestly. Anyway , we picked up some crawfish and po boys and then head to Jarvis new apartment. It’s super cute and in a great location. He’s spending hella money for it but its a cute little bachelor pad though. It’s nice for the season he’s in. Later on Jarvis’s friend Chad comes to join us. I’ve heard about Chad numerous and times and has talked to him over the phone but this is my first time meeting him. This dude is 45 and looks 25. Legit get like Pharell. It was astonishing to see. We all drank wine and chat for a bit before deciding to head to the roof top. There is when I noticed there was a full moon. I immediately sat down and started to pray and manifest that I have a weekend filled with divine meetings and appointments. I didn’t necessarily have a frame work of what thats supposed to look like but I knew I wanted everything to be intentional this weekend. After that, we all attempted to find a spot to eat but that fell through so Britt Jarvis and I ended up picking up insomnia and then Britt and I headed back to her place.

June 25

-For this morning the plan was to meet Jarvis, Chad and Shay for brunch. We got a bit of a late start but we ended up making it happen. We ate a spot in the French quarter called Stanley’s. Their food was pretty good and it was a cute atmosphere. Shay and the kids dipped once they were done eating and Britt needed to make it back home os she could hang out with her friends later. Me, Chad and Jarvis were left so we went somewhere else to grab a drink This is when Chad and I start hitting it off and I realize this is someone who is going to be very helpful in making sure than I am successful if I decide to set up a practice in New Orleans. It literally felt like a divine appointment. It was solicited when he asked me if I knew Dr. Turshá! I was like uhhhh yeaaaaa duhhhh!!! Apparently they went to high school together! All in all, it was an unspoken agreement that we were meant to meet at exactly this moment in time for a reason. Chad had to leave for work so I asked Jarvis to bring me by my grandparents house so I can spend a little time with them. Jarvis had a therapy appointment so I he did that while I was on Belfast and came back when it was over. Grandpa really just wanted to talk about Lazarus and all the BS but I wasn’t about to do that. I had a little liquor courage of course and I was able to just speak candidly on how I felt about the situation. I wasn’t disrespectful at all but I was really tired of him stressing over this Lazarus situation when this boy is gone be just fine. He just wants other people to stress out with him. Anyway so we leave there and head over to this place called “The Wrong Iron” to meet Greg and his friends. We get there and its such a cute backyard ducked off spot. Nice drinks and cool people. I met Kevin, Gabriel and Justin. All seemingly good people. I order a drink called Strawberry Frozé not realizing that it’s made with Rosé. I Got halfway though the glass and my stomach was hurting so bad. So we all made the move to get wings from a place that I cant figure out the name. But the wings were really good. While we were in there waiting for our food, I caught a timely video of Greg falling through a door but picking himself back up mid air. It was classic. Literally just happened to be recording at exactly the right time. We left there and Jarvis drops me off at Greg’s place. Me, Greg and Justin chill for a minute, take shots, listen to music, smoke a bit before heading back out. Arial worked today but said she would come to NO so we can hang out. So by this time she’s here and I figured I would run into her at some point. Of course once we parked and walked not even two blocks, we happen to be right around the corner from where she was already sitting down having drinks. She came with her girlfriend Payton and friend John (JT). We ate another cute outdoor place called The Yard. Took a few shots, danced and ate fried pickles. We then walk over to a place called Dragon’s Den. It was cool but it was still early in the night os still a bit slow. We left after about 10 minutes and drive to this place that we saw on the way there. It was also outside but a little more (lot more) hood. It looked like it was jumping though. So we get out and somehow just walk in without standing in the line. This tends to happen very often when I’m out with Arial lol So we waltz on in. Music is BLASTING. They playing good stuff though. We head to the bar to grab shots. Arial decides she’s gonna find some weed. Greg goes “no way you’ll be able to do that in here”. Of course she comes back within 10 minutes with weed lol Again, not surprised…it’s Arial. They smoke a bit and I dance a lot. Having a great time! We leave there after maybe an hour and decide to drive back to Dragon’s Den. A parking spot opened up for us in the strangest way. Which you know tryna park in the streets of New Orleans can be real difficult. But we didnt have any problems tonight. Everything worked out just fine. Side Note: We were freestyling in the car which is something I only ever do when im at camp with kids. I forgot how much joy

that brings hahah

So anyway we make out way back into Dragon’s Den, which is popping at this point. Good music, got some drinks in our system. Its all well. I even see Terri and a couple other people form XU in there. Arial and Payton end up dipping out at some point during that time. Eventually Greg, JT, Justin and I dip as well. We bring JT to his car and then the three off us decide we’re hungry again! We hit a place that has good fish, shrimp and grits. We were the only ones in there. It was freakin delicious. Two funny moments happened in there. 1. We were so thirsty so we asked if we could all get water. We’d been drinking all night so thats definitely what we needed. I guess the man was trying to be nice ad gave us all free sprites. You want to be grateful but at the same time we def dont need sprites. We laughed about that for like 30 minutes. Cause of course we never went back and asked for the water. 2. Three young white boys walk in. By young, I mean no more then 14 years old trying so hard to act cool. Young dude walk up to our table to tell her, unprovoked, that hes been smoking since he was 12 and some other BS that none us cared about. All three of those kids were weird. Also it was like 4 AM so who’s idea it was to take mom’s car and head out in the middle of the night I have no clue.

At any rate, we leave there and head home. It was 5 am by the time I showered and laid down. WHAT A NIGHT!

June 26

-At some point throughout the night we’d decided to do brunch this morning. I knew Justin wasn’t going to be able to make it because he said he had a funeral to attend. We woke up, sat on the porch and smoked a bit before getting dressed. It was a beautiful morning. We got dressed to a little praise through the speakers and decided on Ruby Slipper. Arial made it there first and called to let us know that the wait was 3 hours so of course thats a no. She then tells us to head to a place called Bear Cat. We didnt realize that there were two different Bear Cats so we ended up at two opposite ones. We decided that it wasn’t going to work. We missed the window of opportunity. So Greg and I put our names on the waiting list for the Bear cat we’re at and there’s a 90 minute wait. While we’re waiting we decide to kill time at this near by restaurant and get some drinks. Once we sit down there and look at the menu, we decided to order food. I ordered shrimp and grits and he chicken and waffles. Before we got our food, out waiter comes to tell us that its restaurant week and that our food is going to be 20 dollars. LIKE WHATTTTT?!?!? We ate, drank, vibes to the music and then stopped by my grandfather afterwards to say hello. Then we back to the house to chill for a minute. Jarvis came back cause I left my card with him and Justin cam back as well. We started nerding out on space/history/physics before heading out to get snowballs and zoom to the airport. I got a cotton candle snowball from plum st. Made it to the airport 30 minutes before the plan was to take off and still got a great seat. I sat next to two women who were on their way to Vegas for a girls trip. One of them had never flown before. She actually did pretty well. A few jumps and yelps but for the most part she did okay. The last sitting right next to me was very nice and passed on some words of wisdom on staying prayerful and focused. Alex picked me up from the airport and I came home only to be craving crab legs. I picked those up, came home and talk to bae while I ate them. He went to bed and I went soon after him.

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warmau · 7 years

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another snuggie here~~ my big exam is starting tomorrow on monday and my stress levels are off the scale ㅠㅠ is it alright if i could request a small fantasy!au hyuk? if not, that's alright! your blog gets me through anyway ♡ cant wait for the highschool!haechan au either~ >u

ahh good luck on your exam!!! here’s a cute dragon!hyuk au that came to mind hehe,,,,

you don’t know if it’s true, but ever since you were little the older kids in town would tell you and others the story of “the cursed prince”

the one that was banished to live in the abandoned, rotting castle over the hills that stood daunting and untouched for centuries

that this boy, who had been cursed by a witch into an ugly, fire-breathing dragon, was once the bright and handsome son of king. not the king who ruled over your country, but a foreign king who had been traveling through and cruelly left his son to fend for himself alone

parents had hushed the older children, pulled them away from you and told you not to believe a word

but neither of your parents would allow you to set foot near the hell of the abandoned castle - let alone climb up to to peek inside the place

but,,,,,when you were old enough,,,,,,and you were tired of the same “cursed prince” story circulating through the mouths of everyone in town, you decided you would be the one to prove them wrong

maybe it was your own itching curiosity, or maybe it was just you being young and hyped for an adventure

but one day, with a little white lie, you managed to pack a simple lunch and a tiny dagger you’d smuggled from the kitchen and set out on a mission to see this cursed prince

the castle was quite a hike, you arrived sweating but even your tiredness went away when you gazed on the magnificently large, rusting grey gates

the yard was covered in twisted tree roots, dead leaves, and patches of unkempt weeds

the door was heavy, but opened with a nudge - the lock was broken and hung pathetically off the door. inside, you could see the crumbling wallpaper and torn up portraits

something had definitely gotten angry in here - everything was broken

and that’s when you heard it, the snarling - the tapping of talons on the old floor

and then,,,,,,,nothing

but you were frozen. you hadn’t expected there to actually be a dragon. or whatever creature you had just heard.

without a second thought, you turned and raced for the door, only to hear the flapping of large wings and a large body slam against the door before you could escape

in amazement and total fear, you looked at the animal - with brownish-red, almost burnt looking scales. a long tail and wings, much more vibrant and frightening up close.

the face, it was a dragon, but the eyes weren’t malicious and mean. they looked,,,,,,,,,,,,like a soft brown,,,,,,,only riddled with a human like sadness

“please,,,,,d-don’t,,,,,,,,,” you began but the dragon huffed and you felt your voice die in your throat

“don’t kill you? i won’t.”

it spoke,,,,,with a voice so unlike what you’d imagine. not deep, not even crude. boyish, almost,,,,,,,charming

“why are you here?”

“a-are you the cursed prince,,,,,,,,,?”

the dragon’s head dropped, his eyes leaving yours

“why are you here?”

he repeated and you swallowed

“i didn’t think you were real,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

“well you’ve seen me. am i real now?”

you shifted finally, could you ,,,,, could you hear a hint of jest in his phrase

“i,,,,,,,yes,,,,,,”

it was silent and the dragon turned back to face you

“i am the most handsome dragon you’ve ever seen, right?”

this time you were sure it was jest - this dragon,,,,,,,,,,,,was he playing around???

the dragon laughed, or gave some kind of similar motion of it with his head and used his tail to open the door

“you look like you might faint right now, and i don’t need that. feel free to go.”

you thought the offer sounded good, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move

the dragon stared back

“well?”

“are all dragons this funny?”

a look of shock overcame him

“you know other dragons?”

“no, im asking for future reference.”

“ah, you like banter. i can appreciate that in a human. but no, im the only funny one. cursed prince or not - i gotta be funny because right now my looks aren’t going for me.”

you furrowed your eyebrows

“so you are the prince?”

“i was, now im just hyuk the dragon.”

you repeated his name and the dragon moved a bit across the room - it’s large body managing to look terrifying and graceful at the same time

“how does your curse get broken?”

the dragon stopped

“people don’t stay long enough to ask that question.”

“well im asking it.”

somehow you weren’t keen on the idea that being snappy with an actual dragon would work to your benefit, but this was a person - well a person trapped

“i need to be kissed. the wizard went full on fairytail with me. too bad, no one wants to kiss a dragon in real life.”

you thought about it for a moment, but took a step toward him before you realized you’d made up your mind

you were gonna kiss this freaking dragon

well like give it a kiss on its nose,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

and hyuk was shocked at your apparent human bravery, you walked up to him like he wasn’t capable of destroying you in one stomp

and leaned in and kissed the scales above his nose

for a second nothing happened and he opened his mouth to be like “well at least you can say you tried”

when there was suddenly smoke, so much that it filled the entire castle’s ballroom, wafted out the windows and made you almost pass out

and, after 5 minutes of it dwindling down to nothing but the burnt smell, hyuk peered down at his hands

his,,,,,,,,,,,,normal human hands

the index finger of his right still had the ring his father had given him, the ring that held the key to his country

you were coughing, but managed to see hyuk too - prince hyuk

standing tall, with broad shoulders, and perfectly sculpted features. for a second you thought you were looking at a statue

“holy hell it worked.”

he spoke first, the same charming boyish voice as the dragon

you were speechless, but managed to give him a “guess we did it” shrug

to be honest you couldn’t say anything because no one mentioned that the cursed prince, as a human, was hot - like handsome sure, but also??????? hot

putting his hand out, hyuk urged you to take it

and carefully you did, feeling his warm skin and not the scaly - wetness of the dragon he was before

“so,,,,,i guess i have to go back and rule my country now and be a prince and stuff.”

you looked down at your hand in his and back at him,,,what was he getting at?

using his other hand to scratch the back of his neck, hyuk shrugged and added

“as a thanks for making me a prince again and stuff, wanna come and rule it with me?”

#this is bizarre but hey it was fun to write!! gl on ur exams!!#nct dream scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #donghyuck scenarios #haechan scenario #sfw

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