banging my head against the wall, thinking about how the darkest timeline is the one where troy leaves

makes perfect sense. it’s nice to feel indiscriminately loved every once in a while, even if it’s not real. and this is coming from someone who has a lot of trouble viewing herself as lovable or desirable. it’s just a nice feeling.

👆🏻👆🏻yep me too!! Like if i’m not gonna tell myself that I’m lovable, at least I have all these little pieces that do so whether I put in the work to believe it or not.

Kinda strange to think about because I feel like.. i (we, collectively?) often don’t talk about it out loud that way … but it’s true. Without this kind of distinct motivation, what other reminders do people have?

i like to think everyone has a colour associated with them, whether its just your fave colour or what you generally wear most of or what colour your bedroom walls are. i always associate the name sophie with dark blue, my mum is always a nice turquoise, i like to think my colour is a bright sunflower yellow.

if you have a specific shade pls tell me i adore when ppl have associated colours and tell me them, bc i think of them when i see that colour

darkwave music always reminds me how beautifully haunting everything could be, if that makes sense. it’s loving n yearning, yet heartbreaking & sultry. it reminds me of 8h placements too and how our life is viewed through those lenses. it’s whimsy, mystical & magical & idk that dark ambiance makes us feel our emotions to the depth of our very core which helped me view my inner shadow self in a whole new complete light instead of demonizing it? idk I’m rllyrlly high and I don’t even know if this makes sense but I love it so so much. it’s helped me throughout all my heartbreaks and pain and it rlly taps into my dark feminine so much it’s insane jsjshsishsksh ok I’ll shut up now but <‘333

strong heart

made a fist and not a plan

ok so we all agree that even just the slightest change in tone or decisions of the people around Anakin would have changed his entire path, right?

i think it’s a really good character detail that sokka and toph both love eating meat, because it does serve as a good shorthand to a contemporary audience to signify their relationship to masculinity that also makes sense within the worldbuilding and is consistent with their characters.

like obviously sokka’s diet is meat-based. he lives in a part of a tundra that is (implied to be) frozen over year round. eating meat is a part of his cultural identity. but it’s more than that. katara also grew up eating mostly meat, but it’s not a part of her identity the way it is for sokka. and that’s because being a hunter and providing for his village is crucial to sokka’s conception of who he is. he was “the only man” left, and he felt like it was his sole responsibility to provide ample food for his people, mostly elderly women and young children. throughout the show we see sokka fail to hunt and forage for comedic purposes, whereas we don’t actually see his successes, but that doesn’t mean it’s not implied. he wouldn’t be as effortlessly proficient with a boomerang as he is by the pilot if he hadn’t been practicing on animals over the years. he clearly has a lot of experience hunting, and the pressure he feels as “the sole provider” for his tribe is something that he is also takes great pride in, as if the knowledge that his father had enough faith in him to hunt alone and make sure his people didn’t starve is very precious to him and any challenge to his identity as “the meat guy” is a great blow to his ego.

when he calls himself “the meat and sarcasm guy,” he is being facetious about parts of his identity that are in fact very important to him. meat: he comes from the south pole, so meat is important to his culture; he is a hunter, and it was his role to provide for and protect his people. sarcasm: he’s used to not being taken seriously, as the brother of a waterbender, as the only warrior left behind, as the token nonbender of the gaang, by people throughout the earth kingdom who see a water tribe boy and assume the worst about him before he even opens his mouth; he uses humor as a coping mechanism, for example, in that very moment, when he starts talking to himself while trapped in a hole, genuinely concerned that he might die, but staying glib and flippant nonetheless. it isn’t just eating meat that is part of his identity, but providing it as well. if he isn’t feeding his people, if he isn’t keeping them safe, if he isn’t giving everything he has to protecting them, then is he even a warrior? is he even anything at all?

as for toph, she grew up never having to worry where her next meal was coming from. she probably didn't even think about how food was prepared until she started traveling with the gaang, probably didn't even know the name of her cook(s). but when it came to dining, she was undoubtedly policed by her parents on how to eat. sit like this, hold your chopsticks like this, chew like this, only eat so much at a time, be proper, be discreet, be ladylike. the contrast between how toph eats and how sokka eats in "the blind bandit" is played for laughs, but as we've just established, sokka is someone who knows what it's like to not know where your next meal is coming from, and who also knew that if he wanted to eat, and if everyone else in his village wanted to eat, it was his responsibility to go out and kill an animal, so when someone offers him free food, he will not hesitate to eat as much of it as possible, table manners be damned. toph has never experienced food anxiety, but living in high society under the thumb of her ableist parents who excruciatingly monitored all of her behaviors is why she relishes eating as impolitely and as much as possible. if eating as little and as discreetly is a marker of femininity of a certain class (note how zuko says to jin "you have quite an appetite for a girl" because he's never seen a woman who wasn't from nobility eat before), then toph rejects her oppressive high society upbringing and its forced femininity and embraces masculinity by loudly proclaiming her love of meat.

in the US, eating meat is seen as a sign of masculinity despite the fact that most of the purported "alpha males" who claim that meat consumption is masculine did not actually hunt and cook that meat themselves (you may as well be a drag queen etc). nevertheless, when the audience hears sokka or toph claim they love meat, they do register that it indicates their complicated relationship to masculinity. sokka always felt an immense pressure to be masculine due to the fact that he was the sole warrior left in his tribe and believed that it was his responsibility and his alone to protect, defend, and provide for what was left of his people. meat signifies masculinity to him because he was actually hunting it himself, and being a good hunter is part of what "being a man" (an ideal he feels incredible pressure to live up to) means to him. toph feels a pressure to be masculine due to her rejection of femininity, which she associates with the submissive, meek, shallow ideal her mother performs and expected her to perform as well. she associates masculinity with strength, power, and agency, which she desires even as her humility, cunning, and ability to go underestimated are such a crucial component to her strength in the first place. when she claims that she loves meat, she's celebrating her ability to eat without being policed, she's embracing her gender nonconformity, and she's probably mirroring sokka, since she's still figuring out who she is, and he is her role model.

Thinking about this vis a vis how Clara’s grief drove her to suicidal recklessness. She would never just kill herself a normal way because that would, well first of all be admitting that she’s still grieving and deeply unwell to herself, but also that would be boring and ordinary and the last thing she ever wanted was an ordinary death. “Don’t you dare lump me in with the rest of all the little humans that you think are so tiny and silly and predictable.” She has to die for something because that’s what the doctor would do.

Season 9 is just a season of near misses and of course what finally gets her is stupid and pointless because we’ve been trained by the previous episodes, as she has, to expect she’ll always make it out alive. Schrödinger suicide - she actively seeks out death and convinces herself she knew she would live all along. And ofc when it finally happens she has a speech prepared. Most normal character of all time

Finished watching the 1997 Berserk shit was crazy

My yearly desire for Season 5, pls I just have a lot to talk about when it comes to SRMTHFG

It's my top fave childhood show and I just want to see it finished (esp Chiro's backstory). It's actually one of my biggest artistic influences and I got into Polysics bc of it

i love being a dykeee…..

one of my musician!Edwin headcanons is that he’s a classically-trained-turned-ragtime pianist, given how popular ragtime music was before the 1920’s Jazz Age.

i think his parents would have had him classically trained as a child, given his likely wealthy upbringing, but becoming a ragtime pianist would have been the kind of soft rebellion that he likely could have gotten away with.

i think he would have obviously been a big fan of Scott Joplin (aka the king of ragtime), who was a black american ragtime composer. jazz music was often treated as barbaric fringe music until white musicians started getting involved in the 1920’s, and i think that as a closeted gay man, Edwin would have found comfort in that atmosphere (even if he wasn’t sure why he found comfort in it at the time)

maybe i’ll write a fic about his involvement in jazz and how it potentially landed him in boarding school as punishment. so many ideas, so little time!

Honestly Rayla is equally 100% ride or die for Callum too.

That's so true I almost mentioned it in that post. They're so ridiculously feral for each other it's hilarious to watch. Callum's the legitimate "we ride AND die together" whereas Rayla is the "I will ride and die FOR you" sort of deal yknow?

Could be literally any situation, no matter how dangerous, and she's already decided she will die here. Does it ensure Callum lives? Then batter-up buckeroo we're going in swords blazing! Everyone cheer and clap for her human or she'll blow this whole place up. Kinda person who says "even if you hate me I'd still lose everything if it meant you were okay". She thinks they're in a tragic love story where she's always at risk of losing him but that's okay as long as it keeps him safe and happy like y'know Viren parallels, she'd risk losing her very self for him over and over. Except Callum would wait until the end of the world itself, and even beyond, and she wouldn't even have to ask.

The difference between them, really, is that Rayla will die for Callum on any given day. Callum will kill for Rayla on any given day. Something something matching sets

prev rb, I also think that a separation of church + state is absolutely necessary. When half of the legislature that we’ve seen in the past few years, disproportionately affecting the most marginalized groups in this country have been rooted in religious backing…yeah, we do not need bias and personal beliefs, determining our well being.

there's something about empanada being part demon, having the horns and the tail, and tina having to come to terms with the fact that almost everything she hates about herself is seen on her daughter. like tina can rationalize to herself shaving down her horns, but how can she rationalize doing the same thing to her daughter, that hasn't done anything wrong.