#i came back from a little break
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Contract with a Devil 🌱
#This comic killed my grandma HAHDAHED#i came back from a little break#and i decide to do a long comic#it was a bad idea lmao#akiangel#csm#chainsaw man#angel devil#aki hayakawa#aki x angel
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yes i am getting emails
#dracula daily#mine#lov that this means absolutely nothing to people not reading ksjfksl#i love jonathan hes gay and autistic cant wait to see him get eaten or smth#im back from a 2 week work break now! i was very burnt out i feel a lot better >:) drawing time#these images came to me in a vision yesterday evening but i was too tired to draw them#im sleepy now....sleepy baby......#i slept so bad last night my tummy hurt so bad!!! idk why!!! i had a lot of carbs w dinner so maybe that was it#i still havent figured out what it is my stomach doesnt like. durham wheat i think is oneof them but ??? dfdsfj#whatever. my fault for not drinking more peppermint tea#i didnt like wake up wake up last night but i kept like. coming to a little bit n shifting abt until i found a more comfy position#utmmy ouchy.......hopefully will be less so tonight heh!!#i idid yoga this morning i forgot how much i lov it#also ive been reading captive prince again. is this series a lil problematic? yes. thats why the gods gave us critical thinking#i need a break from stone earth trilogy im on to the last book now....ouhghg......#have a new book arriving tomorrow yes yes yes yes
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some style tests of apartment d’s danny sexbang model! :3
#im not even gonna pretend like i am not unfathomably proud of these btw. came back from the dead just to flex#also lol yeah um. idk if anyone noticed but i took a little break from tumblr for awhile there#mainly bc of um. antisemitism LOL but also like … idk gamer / nsposting just kind of stopped being fun? :/#i don’t for sure know what’s next for me or this account but umm … i’ll keep you updated? LOL#sorry this is such a wet fart of an update 😭 at least Danny Stopmotionbang ……#danny sexbang#ninja sex party#nsp#honeyart
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Double shift last weekend and this is the only picture I got (which my coworker actually took with me for her Facebook story RIGHT when I looked like shit and it was low effort makeup day because I had to be there early to open the bar)
#a drunk girl in the bathroom called me pretty and two other regulars kissed me on the cheek and called me pet names this is why I'm gay#one of those regulars (who's the bff of my coworker i haven't worked with yet because she's taking a break) asked me to have shots with her#she and the other girl are the sweetest every time i swear they're there almost every weekend and they call me Schatz and Maus#the moment i came back in after putting away my bag and jacket on saturday a middle aged guy mentioned my volbeat hoodie#talked about all the metal bands he's seen like judas priest acdc saxon iron maiden and showed me some new songs he's been into lately#later sang mama i'm coming home to/with me and he and another guy gave me lots of career advice and encouraged me to be bolder in interview#a metalhead dude with long blonde hair and beard (who was also at a concert I worked at last month) winked at me and gave me like €4 tips#and every time he ordered his drinks he put his hand on the back of my head to say it in my ear#because the music from the speakers above was kinda loud but technically not loud enough to do That gjsgfjdshhh 😭😭#he's so hot too he looks like a kind boyish viking idk if that makes sense but 😫😫#the amount of people who have flirted with me or acted a little bit 😏 in the last three months#but nothing came of it so far just trusting they'll come back soon when i'm working the shift again#no phone numbers no insta handles we pine like in the old days and smirk when we see each other for the first time in a while#my face#the bartender chronicles
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oh i wish feelings would go away
#p#need to unregister from the class we signed up for together lol#unless i need it in that case he can leave#i do care about him but he was just exhausting me constantly#just being immature and not to my standards. which like fine i have high standards for ppl whatever#but just not being realistic at all. then has the gall to call me immature and call this 'tv ahh shi'#genuinely burst out laughing at that one#he loves me sure.#i realized i kept dreading calls or trying to ignore his texts and avoid him essentially#didn't see him for a month and we kissed day after eid and there was nothing honestly#none of the spark or the feeling that was there before#alhamdullilah. i came to my senses even tho 3 weeks late#he says he doesn't hate me. 'you're the only one who can break my heart'. direct words#he's upset no doubt. blocked him on everything#i think he thinks i'll come back i mean i came back twice#but khalas. sneaking around and lying and the excuses i keep giving to my family. it's exhausting#on top of me being already iffy about him. i'm 18 man i have so long to find someone#he was a lousy boyfriend a lot of the time. didn't make up for the things he said he'd make up for#he did get better but im not entirely sure since we didn't see each other for a month#all i need to do is look at the bright side of it all. i have so much freetime now. i can do what i want. i don't have to apologize for#every little thing. i feel more relaxed. i don't have to check my phone as often. i don't need to make excuses for someone else#alhamdullilah alhamdullilah alhamdullilah
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In celebration of getting my missing button eye vial in the mail i've bought a dragon specifically for it!
Meet Buttons
hes going to be so expensive pray for me
#did really buy another gen 1 even though i barely have any lair space left and no immediate funds to gene him?#the answer is unfortunately yes#also hello! this blog has been dead for ages. i took a long break from flight rising but came back to it i think last year? or the year b4?#i'm still weak to pretty dragons#so many babies to gene so little funds#flight rising#fr#button eyes#cw button eyes#coatl#fr gen1#nocturne dragon
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Yuka Shiraishi. btw.
#she has 20 lines at most but i love her#i'd really like for an 5 to have more yuka content... especially since ken is training vbs#ken is working them rough which for people surrounding vivid street (or at least vbs) would seem tough but understandable#but yuka is an outsider. yuka is a caring mother who still supports her daughter and her friends despite not growing up in vivid street#yuka would possibly consider this too much for the moment and try to get them to relax#and. i really want the current vbs arc to end with them relaxing a little#i don't think they'll go straight from “we're surpassing rad weekend and carrying nagi's wish”#to “we're tying ourselves down to this one event when we could go even further”#but they could definitely recognise “we're still kids we have time”#and yuka could be the one to bring that up. radder were all adults when rad weekend happened. vbs are in their second year of high school#and they're talented. so incredibly talented. kohane showed that at crawl green. akito finally realises his growth in his 4th event#toya has just came to terms with his classical music background and draws from it to write songs for the group#and an has had years of experience singing. except she also holds herself back in her want to be line nagi#which i'm almost certain will be addressed in her 5th event. and with yuka being the one who comforted an during lutf (in her card)#well. i think it would be nice for her to come back#especially as she is - again - an outsider to vivid street. she could represent how vbs can go beyond vivid street#another possibility is kohane's father. he sort of just disappeared after sdsc (at least i recall akito and an mentioning meeting him?)#and considering the impact he has on kohane (photography and his doubts regarding her sudden change in early game)#it could be nice seeing him again since with kohane/akito/toya seemingly reaching the end of a current arc in the last year#(ie the kohane and taiga plot/akito no longer feeling like he's behind the others/toya and classical music)#the next step in the group's story could be happening#half of this has nothing to do with yuka fjrjdiejd. i just like the concept of her being the group's link to going outside of vivid street#or going beyond is suppose. beyond the way...#bagel's rambles#i'm on break. watch me draw yuka design
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I either need to accept that I am just a way stronger person than this friend and can handle way more while still being able to engage with the world as a person, or recognize excuses as excuses, accept that I am not valued and be done or. Maybe both. Idk. It might be somewhere between the two. I am just sick of regular life stuff rendering him unable to spend any time with me, and of him being unable to bear any of the details of my life, when I would move mountains to rekindle our friendship. Though I'm starting to wonder if I still would.
#faer personal files#i just. really didn't want officiating his wedding to be our last hurrah of friendship even though i did kind of feel it coming#also i'm really sick of being infantilized for my chronic fatigue i am a grown adult and i know what i'm capable of#ugh. maybe i'm just being awful and not understanding in which case i'm too much of a rancid person to be his friend i guess#but i don't think that's the case#idk i'll never forget when i couldn't see this dude for a year even masked up outside for covid but when another of our old friends came up#from her job doing COVID RELATED CROWD CONTROL FOR THE FUCKING ARMY he went on a hike with her mask off#and i think that says a lot about what our friendship's been for years honestly. if he can't bear my company idk why i try#if i'm just an interesting prop for conversations and occasions but not a friend. i can't accept that#i am an interesting prop for conversations. the disabled genderfluid bisexual genius who lost everything bc of said disability#but i didn't lose everything i just have to fucking rebuild on new ground. and i am doing that. i whine on occasion but i am so strong#and i do know how to interact with people without traumadumping i haven't on him in YEARS but his concept of me crystalized at age 21#or something like that i guess. idk it just breaks my heart#bc for a long time he was my person. he was the only person who knew the authentic me. more even than my sisters at times.#and yeah that was a little unhealthy but at the time he craved that!!!#and then i grew up and stopped needing him like that around the same time he stopped wanting that and it should have been fucking fine#but like. even senior year of college when i was sick it was already starting to fall apart#like i remember being on a small hike once being exhausted and jokingly being like you gotta carry me back and then being like#no really i might actually need an arm to lean on by the end of this walk if i'm gonna make it back to the car i really don't know if i can#and he said no bc he didn't want to look straight. who the fuck CARES??? i could barely walk i was stumbling my way back annoying him going#too slow. fuck. and that really has been what our friendship has been for years. the minute my house wasn't the most convenient place it wa#more or less dead idk why i keep dragging this horse around#idk why i keep letting him break my heart like this it's so stupid he's never gonna care about me like he did when i was quick and brillian#but never quite as smart as him in his view. fuck him. i'm smarter. just bc i was a little gullible or paranoid at times bc of the#FUCKING CPTSD doesn't mean i was dumber than him. the fuck??? there's something wrong with me i swear idk why i hang on#anyway i'm irritated. but i'm also reluctant to throw away somebody who's seen me through key points in my life. so.
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steve has a book of fairytales that his mum used to read to him before his father argued that he was too old for stories
she let him keep the book, a secret between the two of them. steve has read it so many times that he can recite the stories verbatim.
for a long time, his favourite story was cinderella. but as he grew older and realised that there would be no festival, and no birds to help, his favourite instead grew to be the little mermaid.
the ending makes him tear up no matter how many times he has read it, but he understands her choice.
he, too, would throw away his chance at life if it meant the one he loved could be alive, even if they're happy with someone else. he, too, would suffer for a chance at love in the first place. he, too, would give up his voice for it.
#steve harrington#okay cinderella (disney) was released 1950 but this was specifically about a book of fairytales so the original version it is#the original little mermaid is one of my favourite fairytales and i can just picture steve waking up from a nightmare or unable to sleep#and going back to this story over and over again. yes she dies but she becomes a spirit of air and will reach heaven if she does good deeds#and it must be so comforting to him that there could be something good after unrequited love no matter how willing he is to suffer#for a chance to be loved#steve breaks down the day he rereads the story and realise that for the first time in his life he has people#who would be willing to exchange their hair for him to live#but he would throw away the dagger and accept death still#ah don't imagine steve sitting next to max or eddie's hospital bed and reading out loud and commenting on what he loves about#and relates to with each fairytale#the little mermaid (disney) came out 1989#eddie and steve goes to see it and eddie jokes about being the eric to steve's ariel#eric is one of the best disney princes steve would absolutely be into it#eddie dressed as prince eric for halloween lmao#wow sorry to anyone reading this i completely lost my thread#my fiction library
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I just realized I never showed this
these are my stats for only the year of 2023
#warframe posting#i originally started playing around 2021 but i dont remember how many hours i got in at that point#then i took a break for a year and came back in December of 2022 and. played the whole time throughout 2023#man.#gonna post about my more recent stats in a little because this was from mid december so
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no there’s something definitely wrong with me
#like why isn’t it my first instinct to oh I don’t know MOVE MY HAND when a cat starts biting it#hello????#the ferals outside?? they run before they bite#the indoor cats???? they go in teeth first and they Hold On#and I feel like it’s unnatural of me to just sit there??? and let them???#like yeah it hurts but??#they never break skin#and they always stop soon after bc I think I confuse them??? when I don’t yank my hand back????#idk like I feel like I learned somewhen that keeping my hand still was better for some reason#anyway cats are very much what you name them#named a foster Houdini#turned out to be quite the escape artist#named a cat Mission (bc she came from one)#and of course shes hurting everyone around her#she’s a little brat lol#but if I can turn my dear Triska into a Baby#I can turn Mission into a baby too#I’ve turned the mean old tomcats outside into babies (who only let me pet them when they’re eating but I digress)#(they’re food friendly not friendly friendly)
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so many marauders posts (esp ab the black brothers) can basically be summed up like ‘tell me ur an only child without telling me ur an only child’
#all those angsty headcannons ab sirius saying james’ bday when someone asks ab his brothers birthday#and just over all calling james his brother and ignoring regulus#BFFR. what does that spell? BE. FUCKING#FOR. REAL.#sirius doesn’t know ANYONES birthday#my man’s is over here getting bullied by all for not even getting Remus’ right. HE IS LITERALLY JUST A GIRL#idk i just find a lot of these headcannons v whumpy and unrealistic#siblings who grew up in an incredibly abusive environment where sirius was always trying to protect reg and throwing himself into the fire#to protect him?#LITERALLY HATE THE SIRIUS HATES/DOESNT LIKE REG AGENDA THAT IS SO UNTRUE#SIRIUS WOULD CONSTANTLY BE TRYING TO REACH OUT AND CONNECT AND REGULUS WOULD PUSH HIM AWAY BC OF WALBURGA BUT INTERNALLY WANT HIS BIG BRO#and then sirius would be heartbroken but respect regulus not wanting to be seen with him so he’d back off but watch from a distance#and then once reg is able to break away from Walburga he’d FUCKING IMMEDIATELY GO TO SIRIUS ALL FEELING BAD AND THINKING SIRIUS HATES HIM#BUT SIRIUS JUST HUGS HIM BC HIS LITTLE BROTHER FINALLY CAME BACK TO HIM#mauraders#marauders#the marauders#the mauraders#sirius black#regulus black#the black brothers
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there's currently a fucking squirrel in my wall (again. i think it's the spawn of scratchy the first) bc i live in an older house and it literally burrowed into the siding. i've been periodically knocking to get the little shit to stop burrowing bc i do NOT want a squirrel in my room. i've been laying here for abt five mins since last getting up to knock on the wall, and i swear to everything holy i just heard the fucker knock back
#len speaks#i think we're gonna have to break down and punch a hole in my wall to dig the little shit out. we can't get in from the outside so i'm just#gonna have to make peace with the thought of having a hole in my wall til my uncle can patch it up 😮💨#also i know squirrels are stupid as fuck so its not like i'm afraid of the knocking or believe its actually mocking me but it IS annoying#the gall of that little tree rat is grating on my nerves. at least scractchy the first knew when to shut the fuck up and stop!!!#and if youre wondering why we didn't trap it its bc the guy who offered was only gonna trap 1 of them for FIVE HUNDRED BUCKS.#city slickers are fucking INSANE. half a grand for one goddamn squirrel!!!!#sorry forr oversharing abt my tree rat infestation but i can't fall back asleep and i'm genuinely pissed that they came back
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