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horseshoegirl · 6 months

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Damn Those Dog Tags: Part 23 - Sleep Deprivation

📜So... I really don't know what to say right now. As a writer, we are supposed to be able to form words into sentences that create worlds, characters... emotions... but I cannot bring myself to form the correct words to describe how grateful I am that you guys took a chance on me, writing this piece of fan fiction after an 8-year hiatus, wondering if I still had it, if I was enough. DTDT is the first piece of Fan Fiction I've ever finished, the first story I have ever finished. And along with you all, I've cried, I've laughed, I've wept, I've smiled over Sadie being herself and Liz standing up for what is right. Jake being who he is, and Bradley... well, he speaks for himself 😅 It's one thing to say you write fan fiction, but it's another thing to say that you want to write fan fiction for people who make you feel supported in what you do. This is my THANK YOU to you all. For your kind words and lengthy reblogs, for the comments, likes and support. DTDT only exists because of you guys. And I love every one of you from the bottom of my heart.

So... with a bittersweet mention, here is the final Part of DTDT. Part 23, Sleep Deprivation 😭

❗18+. Strong Language, Pure fluff, Original Female Character, Original Child Character, PDA, Just in case letters, and maybe a few tears...

#6K words

Part 22 | Masterlist

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, Dear Sadie Bug, Happy Birthday to you!"

Cheers erupted throughout the Hard Deck as Sadie smiled at her family, all gathered and singing to her around the piano. Uncle Roo was playing, lightly swaying into her side, making her laugh. Alyssa had her hand on Uncle Roo's shoulder, and the rest of the Dagger Squad was scattered about, singing along with the crowd.

She turned eleven today, and while she loved the fact everyone was here, with her celebrating, she found that the best gift she ever could have received was in how she saw you smile, here and now, with Uncle Jake holding you close. You were smiling like you used to, long before you had left to live in this small town she now called home.

Uncle Jake had lived up to his promise. He reminded you that you were worth it. He made you happy. And he tried.

She didn't need anything else.

"Sadie," a hesitant voice called from behind her. She spun on the piano stool, only to find a single yellow tulip attached to a slightly shaky hand in front of her face.

"Happy Birthday." Will smiled crookedly.

You felt Jake tense up against your back, his chest puffing out and his grip on your waist near the point of pain. Bradley even twisted at the sound of Will's voice, staring him down above the rim of his father's Raybans.

While Bradley might be dating his mother and, albeit, starting to bond with Will, he knew a wooing attempt when he saw one. Sadie's heart was another matter entirely.

You and Alyssa giggled softly at Sadie, blushing as she took the flower and at Jake and Bradley for shooting each other, what you could only describe as an "overprotective dad vibe."

Sadie delicately grasped the tulip, her eyes lighting up as she glanced at Will. "Thank you," she managed to say, her voice a mix of appreciation and surprise.

A silent exchange passed between Jake and Bradley. It was as if they had reached an unspoken agreement, a united front. Will had no idea what he was up against, two grown men ready to go to comedic if not slightly absurd, lengths to stir hardship to any boy that dared to approach Sadie.

Will shot his mom a look, who nodded at him encouragingly.

"Do you wanna.. go play on that old arcade machine in the back?"

Sadie went to open her mouth, an eager yes about to escape her lips, until she thought she heard a growl coming from behind her. She turned back, seeing her Uncle Roo first, his jaw tight. Her Uncle Jake wasn't that far off either, his nose flaring with each breath he took, glaring down at her best friend.

She shot you a pleading, panicked look, hoping you could see the desperation on her face.

Jake and Bradley opened their mouths, Jake's voice overtaking Bradley's as he went, "Over my dead..."

But they were cut short. You had taken your arm resting on top of the piano and jabbed Jake in the gut with your elbow. Alyssa had caught on, grabbing a lock of Bradley's hair at the back of his head and tugging once hard.

"Of course, sweetheart," you replied, jutting your head urgently towards the back. You silently mouthed, 'Go. Now!' and Sadie giggled, scrambling off the bench with her flower in hand, running off with Will towards the back.

Alyssa let go of Bradley's hair, prompting him to shout out, "What the Hell!" as you turned to face Jake.

"Relax, both of you. She's eleven!"

Jake pouted, clutching his stomach. "That little shit stole my idea. Only I get to give her a yellow tulip... it's a tradition at this point, and here he comes, swooping in with his tulip-like he's Mr. Original. It's my thing with her."

"Hey, that's my son you're talking about, Seresin!"

You tapped the back of his head with your hand, biting your lip to stiff your giggle. "He's a kid, Jake! It's just a tulip, not a wedding ring."

That was definitely the wrong thing to say.

Jake gulped hard, and you swore you saw a flash of pure terror cross his face. "No, Nope. No. I just got to call her mine. I need to do the things with her before she properly grows up," he sputtered. "A wedding ring? Liz, she's eleven! Don't put that mental image in my head. She's our girl, don't do that!"

Jake wasn't kidding about Sadie being his, not really.

Once the two of you brought Sadie home from Camp, you sat her down and asked if she was okay with Jake moving in. Of course, Sadie was ecstatic, nodding her head and asking 'when' or 'how soon', which prompted the two of you to start to plan things seriously. But it also posed the question Ridley had to consider the second Sadie was born.

Who would look after her if something happened to you?

It was nothing formal. You merely had to change your Will, stipulating that Jake would be the one to get her should anything happen. But Jake treated it as if it actually was, boasting to anyone he could about his niece. The words practically rolled off his tongue with ease and that sheer cocky confidence he was known for. It also didn't surprise you when you found information packets lumped on top of his computer in your office about the process for formally adopting.

It just further proved to you how much Jake wanted to be in your life.

"She has a good head on her shoulders, Jake. And she adores you," you remarked, looping your arms around his neck. Jake's chest rumbled against yours as he huffed. "Besides, I think you set a good example. She clearly expects high standards."

He let out a grumble, and you could only laugh and stand on your toes to plant a kiss on his lips. "You'll always be the reigning champion in this house, Hangman."

"I agree with Jake, Liz. We need to lock her in a tower."

You dropped your head to Jake's chest before you turned to roll your eyes at Bradley. You caught sight of Sadie in the distance, and she met your eyes and gave you a thumbs up, the tulip still in her other hand. The message was clear; she was okay, she was happy. That's all that mattered to you.

"Want another?" you asked the two of them, gathering their empty bottles. The both of them nodded, and you shook your head as Jake stepped into the space you vacated, leaning over the side of the piano to scheme with Bradley. You rolled your eyes at Alyssa, who shooed you on your way.

You smiled at Penny as you approached the bar, holding the empty bottles out to the air, signalling for two more. It's not as if you couldn't have gotten them and added them to a tab yourself, but Penny was adamant you didn't work tonight.

Your phone rang out and vibrated within the pocket of your dress. You pulled it out, wondering who could be calling you. Everyone who possibly could be was here at the Hard Deck, celebrating Sadie's Birthday.

Then, you saw the caller ID.

The bottles slipped from your fingers, shattering upon impact with the floor.

Not that you noticed, but everyone's heads lifted and turned towards the sound of breaking glass. Jake was the first to reach you, mindful of the broken glass at your feet. Then Bradley, Alyssa, Nat, and all of the Daggers swarmed you, knowing your history with phone calls and wondering what else might be thrown at you this time.

You pressed accept on the tiny device, bringing your phone to your ear, eyes wide as you stared at Jake, panting hard.

"Hello?"

Penny had yelled for someone to turn off the jukebox and for everyone to shut up. It was dead quiet, but for the sound of your voice and the tiny speaker of your phone, the entire bar invested in the outcome of your call.

Jake wanted to reach for you, but he didn't know if he should, wanting to leave you to have your space to deal with whoever was on the other end of that call. You turned your back to face him as the other person started speaking, you pressing a knuckle to your lips and biting down hard.

Everyone watched you nod and heard the question, 'What does that mean for us?' cross your lips.

"What..?" Rooster started to say, breaking the silence. Jake shot his arm out, shaking his head.

But the second he saw you grip your forearm and your skin turning red, he stepped forward, uncaring as glass crunched under his boots, to stop you from hurting yourself.

"Yes, thank you. I'll call if I have any more questions."

You squeezed Jake's hand once he gripped yours, and you hung up the phone. Turning to face the group, you looked at them with a shocked look on your face.

"Liz? Darlin?" Jake asked. "What happened?"

You swallowed, hardly believing what you heard yourself. "Uh...Tyler got thirty years to life."

A few collective gasps went around the room.

"They got him on attempted kidnapping, two counts of physical assault, and.. and murder."

Jake reached for your face and cradled your cheek. "Murder?"

You nodded, silent tears falling from the corners of your eyes. "There was a traffic camera... that fucking white car... the spoiler on the back... they caught him chasing her..."

Your words were fractured sentences as Jake combed your hair back from your face, you trying to sort between your thoughts and the information you had been given.

"That was the district attorney. I didn't even know he had a court date," you sniffed. "His whole family is going down for this... and there was a jury too. Apparently, they didn't take kindly to him attacking an active and decorated Naval Aviator."

Jake huffed, a soft smile on his face, but it didn't reach his eyes. You could tell he was stuck somewhere between relief and discomfort.

You raised your eyebrow at him. "Are you okay?"

He was. Tyler was truly well and out of your lives, and that was a good thing. But somewhere deep down, Jake felt as if the universe had twisted things to make him the hero in a story where the true victims were you and Sadie. It didn't sit right with him.

"I don't wanna sound like an ass, but my career shouldn't have had any bearing that decision."

You shook your head, touched by his reaction. "It doesn't matter, Jake. Not to me. He's going away."

You pressed your forehead to his, a happy sob escaping your lips at the realization suddenly washing over you. "He won't be able to get near Sadie ever again. And Ridley finally has justice for what happened to her. We're free."

Jake pressed a quick kiss to your lips, smiling as you gasped another deep breath. The second he pulled away, letting his nose rest beside yours, you chanted out happily, "We're free!"

Cheers went up around the Hard Deck, and Penny rang the bell, singling a free round on the house. The rest of the Daggers sighed with relief, lamenting about needing a drink, while Rooster whooped, running back to the piano and sliding along the bench as he ran his fingers across the keys.

Yet Jake and you stayed where you were, staring at each other with echoing smiles.

A well-known piano riff sounded off the walls of the Hard Deck, and Jake and you fought the urge to roll your eyes, using the distraction to slip out onto the hard deck patio and over to a grassy part of the beach. You could hear Rooster's playing at a distance, but it was enough not to be a bother.

You went to step forward, but Jake pulled you back by the grip he had on your hand, spinning you under his arm. You giggled, your head tilted back as you went, only to find Jake's hand resting flat on the curve of your back, urging the two of you to slow dance.

Bright orange rays hit the side of Jake's face. Hues of gold, pinks, and soft yellows, all sculpting his jawline, shining tiny flecks into his eyes, and casting a glow into his hair. They highlighted the small, affectionate small that was tugging at the corner of his lips. Jake's Mona Lisa smile was one thing, but this was one that was only reserved for you.

"Is this going to be our thing?" you asked him. "Watching sunsets?"

Jake smirked. "We could do a sunrise to switch things up?"

You let Jake spin you under his arm again, a smile on your face. He pulled you back to him, hooking both his arms around your waist while yours wrapped themselves around his neck.

"No," you smiled, swaying with him across the grass, thinking of when you went to visit Ridley. "I think sunsets are reserved just for us."

---

Despite having a party at the Hard Deck, Sadie's birthday did happen to fall on a Saturday night. So it was only natural one of her birthday wishes ended up being that she wanted these fun-filled nights to continue.

Who were you to deny her that request?

It was just the team that came back to your place afterwards for cake, your backyard lit up by your string lights and the glowing flames of your bonfire pit, music blasting from your speakers. Sadie had just finished opening her gifts from the squad, and Jake and you had saved yours for last.

Jake reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, flicking the stand back on the case and propping it on the edge of the pit. It let out a shrill tone, and Sadie squinted her eyes at the tiny screen, wondering who Jake had decided to call, now of all times.

Suddenly, a woman who looked just like him appeared on the screen.

"Is this Sadie?!"

Sadie squinted her eyes. "Yes...."

Janet's face beamed with excitement. "It's so nice to meet you finally, my brother can't shut up about you. Happy Birthday, Sweetie."

"That's nice of him," she answered, though you knew what she was doing, challenging Janet to earn her affection.

"Which one are you?" Sadie pressed. Jake bit his tongue, fighting a grin.

Janet didn't hesitate when she replied, "Not the twit and not the one that needs a pitchfork shoved up his as... butt."

Sadie giggled, and Janet shamefully called out, "Sorry, Liz."

You shrugged. "She's heard worse."

You met Nat's eyes on the other side of the fire, noticing how she was watching Sadie contently.

"Uhhh," Janet remarked. "You actually kind of look like my brother."

"Do you have any embarrassing stories about him?" Sadie's high-pitched voice made you turn back toward the camera.

Janet glanced over towards you within the frame. "She really is your niece, isn't she?"

You laughed, and Sadie broke into a full smile, her guard dropping a bit. "I like her," she declared, glancing at you and Jake for your reactions.

"If you two are done squaring off.." Jake said, rolling his eyes. "Janet had a hand in your gift and wanted to watch you open it."

He placed a box in Sadie's lap, holding the edge so it wouldn't fall as she tore into it.

"Go on, open it," Jake encouraged with a little bounce in his voice.

Sadie tore at the wrapping paper, lifted the lid and gasped. "Cowboy boots!" she squealed, pulling them out to admire the intricately stitched patterns and the shine of the leather.

"Thought you might need a pair if you're gonna be an honorary Texan," Jake said, grinning from ear to ear.

Sadie lunged forward, giving him a huge hug. "Thank you, Uncle Jake!"

He laughed, hugging her back. "Thank Janet, too. She picked them out."

Sadie squealed out her thanks as she kicked her slip-ons off, quickly trying them on. Except she shrieked when her foot met something within the sole, and she pulled the boot off only to reach down and grasp a few hard pieces of paper.

With a dramatic flair, she pulled out three plane tickets, holding them up for everyone to see. Her eyes widened, and a squeal escaped her lips as she put two and two together. "Are these... are we going to Texas?!"

You took one from her hand, reading the front. "Jake, you didn't."

He shrugged. "She needs to see where her family is from."

Bradley audibly gagged from his spot on one of the chairs, and you barked out, "Can it, Bradley! Don't ruin the moment!"

"We'll see you soon, Aunt Janet," Sadie said, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet with newfound enthusiasm.

"Counting the days, sweetheart," Janet said, waving goodbye as Jake ended the call.

As Sadie tried on her new boots, you reached down beside the bench to grab what would be Sadie's final gift of the night. You carefully slid it into her lap, placing a hand on her back.

"This one is from me... and your mom."

Sadie peered up at you with wide eyes before tearing into the box, practically tossing the lid off in haste. Her tiny hands tore at the tissue paper, and Jake was laughing at her eagerness as the tuffs flew up into the air.

She gasped when caught sight of the dark blue denim folded neatly into the box.

You found that Jean Jacket amongst Ridley's things in the storage unit, finding the courage to go through it finally and see what you could salvage or donate as you undertook the task of redoing Sadie's room. You knew as soon as you saw it that Ridley had been intending to give it to her as a gift, a twin butterfly and ladybug patches having been already sown into the material on the back.

That's what Sadie was seeing now, the jacket folded in such a way in the box only those two patches would be on display.

She wiggled her cowboy boot-clad feet back and forth in excitement as she grabbed the shoulders of the jacket, lifting it up out of the box to hold it in front of her. Jake grabbed the box and added it to the rest of the discarded wrapping paper.

Except as she held it up to inspect the back, the front was on display to everyone else sitting around the fire pit. Collective gasps and shouts of "What?!" sounded off, and you had to bite back your laugh.

"What the hell are those?!"

Sadie lowered the Jacket, peering over to see her Uncle Bob, ready to rat him out for swearing, when she saw his mouth was open like a fish. Twisting her brow, she flipped it over, a high-pitched gasp escaping her lips as she saw the two patches on the front.

The Dagger patch had been the most damaged one, but it was all too easy to grab the one plastered to one of the walls of the Hard Deck for reference. When Mr Murray asked why you wanted to use the busted one and not the one still intact, you had simply replied with, 'This one is special.'

It sat just next to the left breast pocket, perhaps standing out the most. But you, Sadie, and Jake hadn't been staring at that one. There was a second patch adorning the right breast pocket - a patch with a slight modification.

Sadie ran her finger across the gold-threaded wings before tracing the tiny words wedged in tight on either side below it. The tiny words that stood on top of the reason why this particular patch was now so special to her.

Proud niece of Hangman

To your surprise, it wasn't Bradley, but Nat, who yelled out first, "Hey! What about the rest of us?!"

Her shout set off a chain reaction around the group.

"It's not fair he gets to be on there first!"

"Why didn't you ask us too, Liz!?"

"There's a Dagger patch on there. All of us should be on there!"

But you weren't paying attention to any of them. You were looking at Jake, who had reached out to trace the patch as the jacket rested in Sadie's lap.

She looked up at him, hugging his side. "It's true, you know," she said a matter of factly. "I am proud of you, Uncle Jake. I always will be."

Jake snaked an arm around her back, hugging her and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, eyeing you with a smile. You would never stop surprising him—the both of you.

The Daggers were still arguing amongst themselves when Sadie scowled at them.

"Hey, guys!" She shouted, giving everyone pointed looks across your deck. "It's my birthday, shove it! He counts! And If I say he goes first, he goes on first, okay!?"

Everyone else, save Bradley, backed off.

"Guess I'm just chopped liver then."

Sadie narrowed her eyes, pushing herself to stand.

"You listen here, you big fat glorified chicken..."

You couldn't contain your laughter as Sadie marched over to Bradley, her finger pointed out in front of her as she started laying into him. Rooster looked scared, and you shook your head, wondering why he didn't realize Sadie would jump to Jake's defence the second she could.

Jake startled you as he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

"Meet you in the kitchen?" he spoke into your ear, squeezing his hand once before walking off, collecting the tray of dirty dishes on the table.

You stayed with Sadie for a few more minutes, making sure the rest of your crazy family didn't kill each other over who could have one of their patches on Sadie's jacket next. Though you'd never let on that Mav secretly slipped you one of his as he joined Sadie when she came back to sit with you.

As you sat there, watching the people who had come to mean so much to you, you felt an odd sense of what you could only describe as 'home' wash over you. It wasn't tied to a place but to your extraordinary found family. Because as much as they were there for Sadie, they were there for you too.

It was the peculiar kind of warmth they brought you, whether Nat was trying to get you to come out of your shell, Penny for acting like the defacto mother you didn't quite have most of your life, or Bob willing to be himself around you. It was in the way Mav cared for both you and Sadie as he did for each of his Daggers and how Coyote was always there when you needed him. How Payback and Fanboy made sure everyone was having fun, and how Rooster was the troubled brother you never had, a little broken, a little worse for wear, but genuinely kind-hearted.

Every family a bad egg after all, albeit bad wasn't the word you'd use to describe him at all.

They helped to fill the gaps left by your grief and sorrow, and you vowed to hold each of them a little closer. Because your life had been a pile of good things and also bad. The good didn't always soften the bad things you had to go through, but the bad never spoiled the good or made them unimportant in your life. Your life was messy and unpredictable but beautiful with its imperfections.

And you, somewhere along the way, were living with people who had chosen to stand by you in your darkest moments.

And Jake. Your Jake.

You turned to Sadie. "Think you can manage these guys while I help Uncle Jake?"

She smiled up at you, nodding, before looping her arm through Mav's, resting her head against his shoulder, tenderly glancing between some of her favourite people in the world.

Walking away, you paused at the back door, leaning up against the glass with your arms crossed as you found Jake humming, swaying along to the song currently playing outside as he worked, hands covered in suds as he diligently cleaned the dishes.

You faked a cough, startling Jake as the sponge slipped from his hands back into the dishwater.

"Anything I can help you with, Lieutenant?" you tease, playfulness in your tone and a grin gracing your lips. Jake narrowed his eyes at you, a cocky smirk on his face, then jerked his head to the empty space beside him.

"I wash. You dry?"

You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind, feeling him pause to place his hands over yours. You closed your eyes, pressing your cheek to his back and letting out a deep sigh.

A wave of profound gratitude washed over you. This man had chosen to love not just you but Sadie as well. He had stepped into your lives, filling spaces you hadn't even known were empty at a time when you weren't at your best. When you were fighting with yourself tooth and nail not to start a relationship, when you were missing your sister so much, the thought of her not being here was too great to bear. When you were scared to let anyone that close to you without Sadie's approval and yet, Jake somehow found his way.

You loved him. And there would never be a day in your life when you would let him forget it.

The two of you did the dishes, the odd comment or two passing by. The both of you knew a few of them would be sleeping over, you having already made up the pull-out in your office and Jake having gathered the spare pillows and blankets from your hall closet.

The two of you might have bumped your hips, teased one another, and shared a kiss or two. You might have blown bubbles in Jake's face, and he might have tapped you with the dish rag.

But when everything was said and done, and Jake was working to drain the sink, your eyes tracked to the top of the refrigerator, where that white envelope called out to you. It was wedged between your cookbooks, and you saw nothing else as you pushed yourself off the counter with both hands.

Reaching up, you worked the thick piece of paper out from between the books, only to hold it, staring at the front and absentmindedly tracing the writing on the surface.

Without looking up, you spun towards Jake, feeling a complex mix of emotions. Love, apprehension, vulnerability. But underpinning it all was an entwinement of a slight sadness, but more so serenity and acceptance.

"Hey, Jake," you said softly. Jake turned around, the smile on his face fading when he noticed you were holding a white envelope in your hands. A gentle smile was on your face as you looked down, closing your eyes once before lifting your head.

"I have something for you."

Taking the few steps needed to close the distance between you and Jake, you held out the envelope.

"Another letter?" he teased, slinging the dishtowel onto his shoulder and wiping his hands dry before taking it from your hands. He flipped it over, eyes searching the front until he spotted the fancy handwriting.

Jake's eyes shot to yours, utterly shocked. Yet, you didn't do anything except squeeze his wrist once and lean up to kiss his cheek. "I'll be out in the back with the others if you need me."

Jake remained frozen on your kitchen floor, watching as you walked out the back door. Sadie immediately ran to you, and you held out your arms, a cheerful laugh racking your chest as she hugged you tight.

Jake smiled at the sight, his girls laughing with one another as the music changed, and you wrapped your arms around her, waddling back and forth as the two of you started to dance. But then he felt the weight of the envelope you had given him, and he was drawn back down at the handwriting gracing the surface.

To him

Despite not having seen her handwriting, he knew who this letter was from. You had told him you had opened the shoebox about the letters Ridley had left for various points in either your or Sadie's lives.

He'd never expected Ridley to have written one for him... or at least, the idea of him.

Sitting at your kitchen table, he carefully opened the envelope, tilting it upside down to pull at the folded-up pieces of paper nestled inside. But as he pulled, several polaroids fell onto the table and a few to the floor.

Placing the letter off to the side, he reached down to scoop up the ones that had fallen, drawing in a sharp breath as he flipped one over.

The resemblance between Ridley and you was uncanny.

He didn't know what to expect, seeing a photo of her for the first time. Her eyes twinkled the same way yours did when you were happy, and the two of you shared the same dimples when you smiled. She had the same nose as you, the same hair colour, and the same face shape.

But there were also differences.

He smiled when he noticed the line of freckles spreading across her cheeks, the same type he knew scattered across your back. She had a scar running through her eyebrow and another matching just above her forehead.

But above all else, her smile echoed Sadie's, wide and happy.

He picked up another one, seeing you, as a teenager, laying in a hammock with a notebook and a feathered pen. Ridley had written along the white frame, an author in the making.

There was also one of Sadie as a baby, wrapped in a pink blanket, blue eyes wide as she stared up at the camera. And another of you holding her to your chest in a rocking chair, the two of you asleep. There were a few of you as a kid, another of you holding up a key with your tongue sticking out, and another at your graduation, Sadie on your shoulders stealing your cap.

Jake realized almost all the ones of you were strategically taken by your sister without your knowledge. It's so reminiscent of when Sadie sent that first Polaroid, the same circumstances - like mother like daughter.

Jake laid each out in front of him, lining them up to what he assumed was their chronological order, only to stare down at the story Ridley had left him. He felt his throat tighten as he looked at all of them. Even in the face of something as heartwarming as leaving him photographs of the three of you, the lingering weight of Ridley's absence was inescapable, and it hit him square in the chest.

Though he never had met her, the space she had left was undeniable. Seeing her now, he realized maybe he did know her. In Sadie's smile, in your will to take care of others, in the music she had shared with you and in both of your abilities to put somebody in their place rightly. It caused Jake to smile down at the only photo of her, resting on the table.

"It's nice to meet you, Ridley."

So finally, after the last photo, after the last word had been seen, and the last memory had been touched, Jake unfolded those pieces of paper and began to read.

To the person my sister loves,

Well, shit, she finally did it. My little sister finally found her, Mr. Darcy.

Sorry. As you probably have already discovered, the Beck sisters have a little Pride & Prejudice obsession. Totally my fault for naming my sister after a character in a book I fell in love with in school, but I took my chance when I saw it. But if you have the tendency sometimes to be a pompous asshole with an ego problem, then hey, at least she wasn't that far off the mark.

I'm sorry I'm not there to meet you. Whatever circumstances have prevented me from doing so. I'm sorry I can't have you over to a family dinner, ask about your life, and get to know you. For you to win me over, or for us to bat heads.

Just kidding... I'm more bummed about not being able to give you a shovel talk in person. But I know my daughter, and something is telling me Sadie would have already beaten me to it long before I had an actual chance. She has a thing about Lady Bugs, so run if you see her with an empty water bottle and she... Well, if you don't already know now, chances are you will eventually.

One way or another.

So I think this is my only chance to do it, sad as that is. Sad for you - you probably thought you were getting off scot-free. Nope, sir, I'm still going to kick your ass from my grave. So you better heed the wishes of a dead woman.

Now, she wouldn't have given you this letter if she didn't truly love you... if she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with you. She also must have made you promise to put Sadie first, and the fact you're holding this letter means you have. By her giving this to you, it means you are entirely worthy of her love.

(I don't write this as a means to scare you or warn you about what you're getting into. Cause no takebacks, sir, it's a done fucking deal now. I will so totally haunt your ass if otherwise. Sadie gets her wrath from me.)

There is so much more I want to tell you than I can fit into the pages of this letter. There will always be more, more things left unsaid, more things I never told them, or in what I'm telling you - God, the pressure to write something for someone you may never meet is hard…I hope you have a sense of humour cause I really don't stop rambling.

So, I guess I'll stick with three. Three things I want you to know…

One: Music does not solve all your problems.

Liz might try to tell you otherwise, that music can heal, and while I won't entirely disagree, you need to know the reason why. When we were kids, I'd play music to drown out the arguments, the slamming doors, the not-so-quiet sobs. The ability to guess a tune in just a few notes? That came from needing to know which song would best mask the sounds we didn't want to hear. The playlist wasn't just music; it was emotional armour. So when you listen to music with her, know that there's more beneath the surface. Beneath that lighthearted game is a history that's no game at all. When the playlist ends, and the distractions fade away, be the man who's there for her, not one that hides away when things get rough.

Two: A memory is no longer beautiful just because it fades.

People always used to ask me why I chose a Polaroid over a digital camera. With a Polaroid, each shot counts. You have a limited number of exposures, and each film cartridge is precious. There's no delete button, no do-over, just like in life. And when that photo develops in front of you, you have to wait for it to mean something. Once it does, it's permanent. You can hold it, you can touch it, you can pin it on a wall. But polaroids also fade.

Memories fade. But their value isn't in how long they last but in the ones you choose to capture in the first place. My sister and my daughter have been through a lot, so when you're building this life with them, be mindful of the moments you're capturing. Make those moments count. Make them worthy of being looked back on so there is no room for anyone to doubt the three of you didn't live a life that was not full of love.

Three: Grief is constant, unchanging, and complex - it is the most certain thing, next to death, we are guaranteed.

I have a very, very sneaky suspicion you are a pilot in the navy - hell, she works as a bartender in a navy bar; it was bound to happen with one of you lot (You just better not be the one Penny had called her about, rumoured to be sleeping with all the female bartenders... if you are... aha, good luck sir.. you're so in trouble - That's what Liz gets from me) so you know exactly what I mean. It's ingrained into your soul that each time you go up there, you might not come back down.

Liz struggles with grief and the knowledge that life is precious and fleeting. Don't add to it. Be the person who acknowledges it, who understands it, and chooses every day to make the time you have with them count. Life is fleeting; It can be gone in an instant. It's nothing we should ever take for granted, so please, please, from this dead woman pleading to the man my sister loves, please never take your life with her, with Sadie, as such.

They're both yours now, god help you. Liz, my dear sister, who cares too much. Sadie, my ladybug, who is too honest and sassy for a kid.

I've always put the two of them before myself. Liz has probably told you our story, so I won't rehash the nasty details in what's supposed to be a touching letter - I'm brutally honest, so when I say truly believe it was my sole purpose to be on this earth to 1) take care of my sister and 2) to create what happens to be, next to Liz, one of the most precious things in my life, I fucking mean it.

That being said, we need to make a slight amendment to the Sadie promise. Between the two of us, we need to add Liz to it too.

Lizzie needs to be reminded, given a list of all the reasons she's still here breathing, that she is doing right by what I want for the two of them. Because I know my sister, and she overthinks everything. She will be hanging on by a thread to every decision she will ever make with our Bug, wondering if she has done enough or if she is doing enough.

She already is. She already was.

And she doesn't owe me more than that.

You, however, do.

I need you to remind her of that - that she owes me nothing. I need you to take photos. Take as many as fucking possible. Go on hikes and look for the tiniest bugs. Make memories to hold on to and be the person who scares away Sadie's first date or holds her while she cries. To walk her down the aisle if she chooses and help her if she decides to have kids of her own.

Tell Elizabeth you love her. Every single day. Because you know as well as I do, you don't know the last time you'll be able to. Crawl into the bathtub with her when things get too much and hold her. All she needs is to be held, to know someone is there, standing by her. Thats it.

Stay up listening to vinyl with her, dance across a kitchen floor and make her laugh. Communicate with her. Please, for the love of fucking god, communicate with her about your feelings and your thoughts. She is such a good listener, and she cares so much for the people she loves. That's just who she is, so never forget it.

And promise me this one last favour...

There are more letters like this one in the red box I know she's probably only just opened, probably a long time after I'm gone. Mostly for Sadie, but there are some for Liz... maybe a couple more for you. I'm not sure yet, I'm honestly just making this up as I go.

Can you please make sure they open them? Go through the pile of memories I've left in there every so often?

I'm not being egotistical when I say I know I'm going to be missed. Grief does that to people. It's really just love, wanting to be given but with no place to go. I know those two will always love me in life and in death.

But remind them I know. Remind them I love them too - even if I'm not physically there to tell them myself.

This ended up being not as much of a shovel talk as I thought it was going to be, mostly cause I don't have anything to threaten you with truly.

But how about this, instead?

It's probably weird that I want to say thank you, right? Thank you for falling in love with my sister. Thank you for being there for her, for Sadie. For loving them when I cannot.

But I want to anyway. Because they mean everything to me, and it is my only hope they mean everything to you.

So wherever I am, whether it's in the clouds or in a fucking ray of sunshine, or if I'm a freaking bug, I can only hope I get to see the three of you be with each other in every way that matters.

Even if I can't, I know you're there.

And that's more than enough for me.

Love always,

Ridley Beck

~Fin~

🥲

Tag list:

@blue-aconite @tinytotontheoversizedpony @djs8891 @caitsymichelle13 @startrekfangirl2233

@mayhemmanaged @ereardon @dempy @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @daggerspare-standingby

@phantomxoxo @formulapierre @eli2447 @fulla02 @blckgrl-sunflower @mizzzpink @ohgodnotagainn

@bubblegumbeautyqueen @sarahsmi13s @desert-fern @lynnestra44 @memoriesat30 @penwieldingdreamer @mxlanciia

@bradleybeachbabe @bobby-r2d2-floyd @lavenderbradshaw @roosters-girl @lovinglyeternal @kmc1989 @gigisimsonmars

@keyrani @craftytrashprincess @hisredheadedgoddess28 @abzidabzy @memeorydotcom @vicsnook @taestrwbrry

@its-the-pilot @dizzybee03 @cassiemitchell

Wickett 🥲

(Sadie, Liz and Jake will be around for blurbs and one-shots if that is something you all are interested in 🥰 )

----

Forever After All - The next series after DTDT

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sereves · 4 months

Text

Tsubaki and Lawless Sibling Headcanons

After reading that meme about what woulda happened if Lawless and Tsubaki were on good terms I had to make these headcanons

This. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought about this- Allow me to do a small rant/analysis-

Lawless is canonically referred to as having a family root according to Gear in this panel

Yall no one can change my mind Lawless got fat daddy issues that run deeper than a black hole

As shown in these panels he has a deep respect and gratitude to Saint germaine for reviving him, and even goes as far as to lecture Kuro for being "rude"

I also find it interesting how of all the siblings Lawless is pretty much the only one that was happy to be revived, aside from Ildio who was more or so neutral on his new life. Lawless pretty much took his new life and appreciated his second chance-

Personally in my opinion, I believed because he was a lower-ranking prince who was killed in a conspiracy he may have never gotten a chance to live life? He looks like he died pretty young and since he was a lower ranking prince, he may have lived with a silver spoon in his mouth, but likely was never able to go out to much and was probably very lonely. He probably only had Guil by his side which is why I love and adore their father/brother dynamic 😭

SPEAKING OF BROTHER DYNAMICS- KURO I GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU-

dAWG- WHYD KURO DO HIM SO DIRTY 😭Bro straight up just lost Ophelia, is about to lose his "second father", then gets dumped by his own god damn brother- Like Kuro pretty much told him "we shouldn't have been born". Like bruh lawless got done so dirty in a span of like a week, like even after this he goes back home Ophelia's kingdom was destroyed 💀

Also he had to walk to the meeting stop for about 10 days+ and then walked back on his hedgehog stubby legs like is this man okay, IMAGINE WALKING ALL THE WAY ON FOOT AND JUST BEING DUMPED LIKE THAT- no wonder bro held such a fatass grudge against Kuro. Centuries later they meet again and Kuro really had the audacity to be like, "why u mad at me" as if he didnt kill Saint and told Lawless they shouldn't really exist 😭

Anyways, moving onto the actual Tsubaki and Lawless siblings headcanons-

Lawless desperately wanted a family and tried seeking that through his new found Servamp siblings, but sadly none of them really wanted it aside from Ildio and Freya. Love the headcanon that Freya canonically thinks of Lawless as her "dear brother"🥺

Tsubaki later down the road looks like he craved that too? In fact it looks like he went to every sibling and tried asking them who he was and none of them knew. But what Im curious is about is this

Lawless already knew about Tsubaki? When we got Lily's POV, he stated that he was visited by Tsubaki, and Tsubaki started laughing because none of his siblings knew about him. Now Im curious, because if Lawless had met Tsubaki in the past, what was it like? Did he just know of Tsubaki from C3? Given the fact that Lawless has spied on them sometimes when he was bored, is that how he found it? But I have a weak heart, so lets make some headcanons on had they met earlier and actually became close.

In a perfect world, Id had pictured Lawless helped Tsubaki escape from C3 and they both became close since both craved familial love. Its been revealed that Tsubaki is trying to protect his little sister so for sure, bros in the same boat as Lawless trying to make found family

There was also an old book called, "The Hedgehog and the Fox" where a quote is stated, "The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing." Reference: https://www.jimcarrollsblog.com/blog/2018/5/23/are-you-a-hedgehog-or-a-fox#:~:text='The%20fox%20knows%20many%20things,various%20wiles%20of%20the%20fox.

I like to think this very similar to Lawless and Tsubaki. Tsubaki, is likely one of the strongest siblings and can clap cheeks instantly. He has many skills and is canonically the only one that can "kill" his siblings, but Lawless is older, so I believe the "the hedgehog knows one big thing" is really cute, but it feeds into the dynamic that, yes although Tsubaki is superior to Lawless in terms of power, he has a lot more to learn.

Considering Tsubaki was locked up in C3 for a while I would like to think Lawless took him out and immediately tried getting him situated in the modern era. Thats my perspective on "hedgehog knows one big thing" like imagine being locked up and experimented for ages, and finally being introduced the modern day, like when was the last time Tsubaki saw the sun 💀

I also headcanon Lawless is probably pretty well off considering hes greed and judging from the fact hes constantly wearing rings and bracelets like I doubt those are fake, and he literally shops at Shibuya. Lawless is canonically a bougie bitch 💀

Please give me cute shopping montage of Lawless dripping out Tsubaki in modern Japanese styled clothing LIKE I WANNA SEE HIM WEARING THIS

Anyways thats all I have for now, but TLDR: I love servamp sibling interactions, strike please stop depriving us

#servamp #lawless of greed #servamp manga #tsubaki #servamp headcanons #headcanons

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sandwichfordinner · 2 years

Note

Hi hii i saw your requests are open so i wanted to request smth, can u make emil, edgar, william, and eli with an s/o in the future and for some reason like wearing cute shi. It can be gn reader or female c: (btw ur ada and emil fanfic is grete keep it up!)

Emil , Edgar William and Eli with a s/o from the future that wears cute clothes

Note: not really happy how it turned with eli cause i had no ideas smh,, Scenarios! Fluff

I am so tired editing this cause this is the 7th time cause Tumblr none stop said that I can’t post it💀

Also if you’re uncomfortable with skirts and dresses replace them with jeans or other clothing you like!

also for the William part: the year is 1959 in the manor so ye

Emil

When he saw you for the first time he was really interested on what were you wearing.

You were the only one in the manor that was really fashionable.

Always wearing a cute dress , or some cool jeans with doodles , or a cute t shirt!

There are lots of cool clothing styles.

He did like some of those retro t shirts you were wearing. I guess his favourite style of clothing is retro.

He really liked some of the accessories like the rings or necklaces!

He had this rusty ring on his hand that him and Ada had. But soon he got rid of it and now you and him are matching with some cute rings!

And every time he decodes alone , and remembers that the cute ring is on his finger he is only thinking of you.

Please show more of those cute clothes, he’s so interested!

You gave him some of your accessories and he was super happy.

You even had a bigger size of clothes , you didn’t know why you still had them but kept them.

And you gave those clothes for him and he loved them!!

Didn’t even know that this type of fashion existed , but when he found out that you’re from a other world aka the future he was flabbergasted.

How, what and where..

,,As i can see Emil in this manor all of you live some sort of like the 1900? That’s… weird’’ you looked at your phone. ,,There’s no signal either.’’ You said to yourself.

Emil was looking at your mobile phone weirdly. What was that glowing thing??

,,Um Y/N what is that??’’ He pointed at your phone.

,,Oh that’s a phone , you can send messages to people all over the world, chat with your friends, play games, and talk on it!’’ You handed it to him carefully.

He was trying to process the little screen in front of him.

,,How do I… use it?’’

Your hands were touching his and you were guiding him how to use it.

That thing called phone is so interesting!

Likes those puzzle games 😭

He doesn’t remember his birthday and you knew about it. So sometimes you gave him little gifts! Not only clothes and accessories but flowers, food, cute matching toys! Yes we know that Emil is a grown man but he doesn’t really care cause he just appreciates everything you give to him.

Bro you make him tear up from those gifts and he comes to you sobbing and telling you how much he loves you and he will protect you with his dear life.

Edgar

Don’t expect him to like you or even notice you.

At first he doesn’t give two shits about you 😭

But the moment you were wearing some kind of cute outfit his eyes landed on it.

His eyes were scanning your body from your neck to toes.

What kind of fashion is that???

,,Oi pervert! What are you looking at?’’ You smiled at him playfully.

He quickly looked away and pretended that he painted. Red face as tomato.

,,Uhm nothing??! What are YOU looking at???’’

The panic he had 💀

The moment he glanced at you , you knew you had the chance to show him how to dress cool and cute like you.

He did notice how you were dressing differently from the others. You didn’t had those ripped and too worn clothes that everyone had.

And you had glowing things he haven’t seen before??

What is that rectangle or squareish thing that glows when you touch it???

What do you do with it?

Also what’s with that blue and red rectangle glowing thing too??

WHAT IS HAPPENING

Edgar was brave enough to ask you what do you do with those things.

,,Oh this? That’s called a phone and this is called a Nintendo switch , you play videogames on it.’’

,,What’s a videogame…??’’

,,Oh right I forgot how boring this manor is-‘’

He glared at you.

You laughed. ,,I’m kidding , don’t look at me like that! Okay a videogame is basically in this switch , there are lots of things moving in this device, and you can control the characters! See? It’s nice isn’t it?’’

Control??

,, May I try..?’’

,,Of course! Here press this button, and then do this and…’’

And you tried explaining him how the switch works.

Was interested and uninterested.

,,Where’s the art?! I can’t play this so called videogame if there is no talking about art!’’ He scoffed and looked away.

You actually had Colour Live with a pen.

Edgar tried and hated it.

,,This is ridiculous! Ahem if I can ask you can you tell me what kind off erm fashion style you’re wearing?’’

,,Oh well I wear lots of them. Not ALL of course! I can see on my phone that it’s in the early 1900s right now… I can show you some comfortable clothes I have , they are a bigger size!’’

Didn’t like them.

,,Erm this is just not my thing.. I look weird..’’

,,Edgar you are wearing a simple t shirt with some short pants. Just like me.’’

,,I hate it. I look weird.’’

,,What are you even wearing when you are going to sleep…’’

,,Not this.’’

At that time the both of you started dating, and he admitted that it was comfortable. (Like 3 months later)

,,See i told you would get comfortable.’’ You grinned at him and he rolled his eyes.

,,Whatever’’

Oh and by the way he likes playing Minecraft. It’s because he thought that there was something ‘artsy’ in it you couldn’t even tell💀

At least he is enjoying it.

William

O.M.G

THE NECKLACE? THE SKIRT? THE DRESS? THE JEANSSS???

William do be acting like a 15 year old girl who just saw 90% off selling clothes.

None stop asking you.

‘HOW DOES THE WORLD LOOK LIKE IN THE FUTURE?’ ‘DO THEY HAVE FLYING CARS, the idea is mine by the way!’ ‘HOW DOES THE SPORTS LOOK LIKE NOW??’

Dude chill 😭

Will listen to you carefully explaining everything about how things work.

,,Well uhh.. the world now is… uh.. I mean it’s in between hot and ice but it’s more Icey??’’ Could’ve explained better..

,,So you mean it’s no good?’’

,,Ehh kind of? Well uh they still don’t have flying cars and I think sports are the same I haven’t took a notice from the old days. But you can watch sports live right now. Any you like.’’

His eyes had stars.

,,WHAAA NO WAY!! REALLY?? PLEASE SHOW ME!! CAN IT BE RUGBY?’’

,,Alright rugby it is..’’

William none stop used your phone for sports media.

You didn’t really had problem with it. (Hoping he doesn’t see your search history..)

About clothes!

Loves the comfortable ones that Edgar tried.

When he is back from a match , he takes a shower and when putting the comfortable clothes you gave him he plops on the bed and melts.

Loves hugging you with them and falls asleep fast.

Loves those badass rings 💪😈

Would melt if you had matching rings tho.

Flexes that he has a cool and beautiful s/o from the future , so be prepared to be praised a lot by him.

Eli

The most friendly one when you came to the manor.

Literal sweetheart to you.

Praising you too , like how good these clothes fit you.

Man was making you blush.

But then learning that you are from the future?

How????

Tell him more please..

He is thirsty for that kind of information.

When you told him that you have a bigger size of clothing he got so excited!

You gave him some baggy clothes to try on cause he wears this baggy uhh clothing in the matches a lot. (Idk how it is called💀)

Actually likes the sweaters too.

Both of you match with sweaters… in a goofy way.💀

So his favourite style of dressing are baggy clothes, likes wearing rings maybe painting his nails too! Teach him he’s interested in this too!

Both of you have matching bird toys.

Has an owl pillow from you and LOVES IT, IT’S SO FLUFFY!!!

,,Uhh Y/N honey? How do I take a picture again? I wanna take a photo of Brooke.’’

Still new to those things..

Sorry ran out of ideas here💀

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nanichi0 · 2 years

Text

Choso Kamo + Birthdays

I had a conversation with a friend when they brought up the fact that we don’t know Choso’s birthday or he just straight up doesn’t have one. So here are some of my thoughts about Choso + birthdays.

•Choso doesn’t really know about birthdays so when you tell him about them and why they’re celebrated he’d be very intrigued and excited about the concept. He’d ask so many questions just trying to make sure he understands everything there is to know about birthdays.

•I can imagine him getting all happy about celebrating Yuji’s birthday, wanting to get him a bunch of gifts, cakes (yes multiple ones), and make sure it’s the best day ever for him. He’d invite you out to buy things for Yuji’s party, asking for your opinion so that you feel included too.

•He wouldn’t act like this just for Yuji, but for you as well. Choso would be so eager to celebrate your birthday and would try to go all out for you ❤️ You’re just so special to him and he thinks this day is super important because it’s a celebration of your life and he wants to show how much you being here brightens his world

•I can picture him thanking your parents for bringing you into the world on this day lmao 😭 like, without that happening he would’ve never met you and now he can’t even imagine what his life would be like without you in it

•You feel bad about him not having a specific day to celebrate his own birthday and you wanna do something for him too, especially since he’s so willing to put in all this effort for others. I don’t think he would actually feel too bad about not having a known birthday, though, because he’s very selfless.

•One day you decide to surprise him with a birthday party, although it’s more of a “let’s celebrate the fact that you exist” party, and you invite Yuji and your mutual friends, and he starts crying because he feels so appreciated and god he just loves you so much

•You decide to make this a yearly thing and Choso looks forward to it every time. He tries not to say too much about it because he’s worried he’ll sound like he just wants attention and gifts but in reality he enjoys getting that chance to spend time with everyone that he cares about

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teawiththegods · 9 months

Note

Hi Jessie! I've been following you for years and had actually just meant to send you a little message about how much I've appreciated your work (which I will get to!!), but I saw you're looking for poetry collection recommendations for the Sealey Challenge. I put out a poetry book a couple years ago called I Think There's More Than One Of Me, which is a group of 4 collections of non-linear character studies of the same soul in different universes told through poetry. Odd, I know, but it was a fun experiment and I'm really proud of it. I would love to gift you a copy if you're interested!

But back to my original point -- I first found your blog I don't even know how many years ago, and it was such a relief to find someone with faith like mine, especially coming from the same part of the world as me. Just knowing you existed out there was really grounding in a weird way I don't know how to explain. I spent a long time on and off tumblr because, well, tumblr, but it was always so exciting to come back and see how much your blog and podcast had grown. It feels like you've built a digital temple for us to gather and worship, which is really cool. It's a weird thing to have pride for a stranger, but I felt like you deserved a pat on the back.

TLDR: Thanks for making sure we other believers out here don't feel alone, and I am so proud of your work!

Oh my goodness!!! 😭💕😭💕😭💕😭💕 What a beautiful, kind, and thoughtful message!! It was very sweet of you to take the time to send this to me!! I’m always so happy and grateful to know my work and presence on the internet had some kind of positive impact. And that there are people out there who are rooting for me and cheering me on even though we don’t know each other. That’s such a wonderful thing! Thank you! 🥹💖

And I would absolutely love a copy of your poetry book! That is so lovely of you to offer! DM me whenever you get a chance! 🥰

#positive feedback

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spookymulderjr · 3 months

Note

My dear Angel,

Hello my dearest progeny. It's been a couple of weeks since you last visited and there were some things I had wanted to say then but could not given how little time we were able to spend together alone so I am writing this to you instead and indeed, I believe it is best that I do so you may always have my words to re-read whenever you need them.

The most important and pressing thing I would like to tell you is that I love you. My own grandchild, my world. You are my only family, my delight. I need you to know that will never change. Secondly, I need you to know that I am so very proud of you and all that you have accomplished. Not only have you made a life for yourself, having carved one out of the world with your own two hands, you have also exceeded my expectations regarding your understanding and desire to uphold and continue my important work.

The world needs Jigsaw; without us, there is no effective reminder to love and cherish those which we hold dearest, let alone one's life. I fear the rise of social media has only made people stray further and further away from what truly matters, but I have faith that with you as my successor, those who need the reminder the most will receive it and have that second chance to change their lives for the better and avoid that deep pit trap of taking one's existence for granted. I hope that young Chester will someday understand too and take up the mantle when he is old enough to choose.

I will admit, I had my reservations at first regarding your choice to give your heart to Mark but after seeing with my own eyes over the years how devoted he is to you, I cannot help but be grateful to him and his evident love for you and Chester; you never asked for it outright but I know you will appreciate this so know that you have my blessing regarding your life partner. I know he will always be there to protect you when I cannot and that gives me comfort.

Speaking of Chester, how is my great-grandchild? Please tell him I look forward to seeing him again, especially the new words he's looked up and plans to use in our next round of Scrabble. He's a smart child, and I have faith he will go far in life. I have the utmost faith that you too will go far- much farther than I ever could when I was your age. I look forward to your responses and likewise look forward to seeing you all soon.

Sincerely,

Your Grandfather, John K.

Omg I am in tears!!!! My heart is so full rn I can't!!!! I love you grandpa so much 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺

#saw peepaw #everyone go follow this person and their sideblog 'sincerely-your-fo' please!!!!!!!

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hak · 5 months

Text

OKAYYY. I’ve been playing final fantasy x and here are some preliminary thoughts after like a hard won 4ish hours in 🫠

It was a huge leap to start this game just because 1) I don’t play games like this period (rpg fighters) and have even less experience than any other type of game I ever played and 2) there’s truly nothing more intimidating to me than the final fantasy franchise.. like it only won out over me trying out kingdom hearts because I didn’t feel like doing the punch _ button for _ move type fighting in a game just yet lol. BUT WHATEVER! It has been my goal this year anyway to try games out of my comfort zone (80% of games out there lol) so here I am…

I think the world-building is very appealing!! look I have never in my life even tried looking up final fantasy lore or anything I think I just know Sephiroth and the big ducks maybe but regardless I loved the 5 seconds we got in Zanarkand just because a fantasy steampunk-esque world can be charming.. and exploring the 1000yrs later world and it’s differences is also very interesting. I think I spent half of my hours just talking to everybody I saw and looking at the world textures lol it’s nice and peaceful most of the time

I love the cast a lot.. playing as Tidus kind of surprised me because I think I’m not used to fully formed playable main characters like him (was thinking Link or a fire emblem protag rip) but I LOVE HIM!!!! HES SO GOOFY AND CHARMING and I am so endeared by the voiceover narration (ummm his future self??) and where the story is taking him. He and Yuna are so sweet and cute. I actually really love that not ever cutscene was there to move the plot??? Like the one first boat scene where Tidus stole some guys binoculars and was monkeying around on the ship. Or this one 🥺😭💗

SO PRECIOUS!!! It’s how I know something horrible is going to come regarding them 🧎Well for now I’m just in for the ride. The other guardians are definitely a ragtag bunch but I really appreciated how they were fleshed out in this narrative. I like the big wolf beast guy and I will tell you every time I get a chance I try to get Tidus to go talk to him and every time I get ignored 🥲 ONE DAY!!!! And I love theeee goth woman supreme Lulu even her name is so cute. Love her little doll. She saves my ass every single fight I swear. Wakka is also charming in his own way lol he reminds me of a character I just don’t know who.. he and Lulu having their josei romance drama in the backdrop of this story also gets meeeee. Like!?? Look at them wtf…

Ok ok now about the fighting itself: it’s not as bad as I thought. It’s still not something I really have come to look forward to though, and I really really despise the mechanic where you’re walking and get a randomized battle out of nowhere. The Pokémon grass effect whatever you call it…. IM SICK OF IT!!!! LET ME RUN AWAY!!! especially when I’ve had like 3 fights in a row and that stupid breaking glass effect comes and I have to fight again. Oh save me. im not built for this. HOWEVER. Besides that. It’s okay. Figuring out what moves I should be doing isn’t all that difficult even if I do kind of just guess most of the time. I’m lucky I’m using an emulator and saving as much as I can in case I need to reload during a battle. I’ll be okay lol I just want to complain sometimes just cuz. 😖

And finally…. The one thing I did not expect to encounter in this game and genuinely made me want to QUIT this game for good despite everything positive above: BLITZBALL. WHY DO YOU EXIST. WHY. I CANT STAND THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!

This funny scene made me laugh when I first saw it because I literally thought blitzball games would play out like that first cutscene in Zanarkend - AS A CUTSCENE!!! TIDUS YOULL LOSE I HAVE NO SKILL YOULL LOSE TIDUS!!!!!!!

I will admit now I didn’t know wtf I was doing on that boat and totally failed at getting the Jecht shot but how??? Was I supposed to know????? I THOUGHT IT WOULD JUST LEAD TO A FUN MINIGAME how was I to know it was life or death (in blitzball)…. I did Google whether I needed it to win and results varied. But before I get judged I spent about 40 min trying to grasp the entire blitzball tutorial and things still didn’t wrap around until I began playing and EVEN THEN I wanted to cry and rage quit. Something I have never needed to do in all my life!!!!!! Then I thought fine whatever I’ll just let the game do it’s thing and maybe try to give the ball to Tidus as much as possible if that’s my only shot and lord almighty I couldn’t even get one point in. The ai would score so much and I swear I paid attention. Imagine me mid game pausing just to google 10+ year old forum answers on whether I can just do the bare minimum and still win. I don’t even think I needed to win??? But the other team was so mean to us …. LIKE I WANTED TO WIN….. but I’m not capable of it. I knew it when I first started the tutorial too versus the real game I truly am so disinterested in this kind of minigame (the least mini of mini games I’ve ever played ever) that I don’t care. Like I’m just so so frustrated that it’s 3am im writing this post just to vent about how I want to keep playing ffx but not at the cost of this stupid side game that shouldn’t even take me more than 15 min to play!!!!!

I should’ve known from this part in the tutorial that this was bullshit fr. Look I know its not like all of the mechanics were rocket science, if I took 1 day to actually study the game I would BUT WHY WOULD I DO THAT. WHY WOULD I WASTE MY TIME AND DO THAT. I am just so put off at this point from this game simply because of blitzball. Sorry to Tidus and his quest for home and all but it will not come true because I cannot stand playing blitzball. 🤬

Where i am now: I paused at the end kinda when Wakka comes in at the end of the game. I couldn’t score a single point so it was just left at 2-0. I really don’t care anymore I will just lose the game because I’m sick of it. But damn I was really trying okay. Kinda. I hate being petty but we’ll see if I want to even pick it up as a whole game again when I wake tmrw after this experience lol

To be extremely honest I kinda began ffx as a total “wouldn’t it be funny if?” type game for me because I know what I like and dislike in games and this one bordered that for me so I was genuinely curious to see how far I’d last. But this blitzball game is so far into my dislikes that it actually bums me out because the storytelling is so in my lane. I don’t want to quit just yet but I will say now if blitzball gets any worse I’m out. That truly is my last straw lmao. Also it seems like a very long game otherwise and even that is a struggle for me to comprehend. Plus battles are even going to get worse and I can barely slide by during those… idk it is looking grim for the mariel partakes in final fantasy era 😭

#g*

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yukikorogashi · 1 year

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I know we have sent each other so much in the last few days, so I won't make this super long, because I know I could go on for days and days. Becky, you're such a wonderful friend to have and I am so lucky that we decided to connect the way we did way back when --- when we decided to become friends beyond little positive memes. Since then, I have enjoyed endless conversations with you and so many fun stories ( some making us holler in audacity ), but all the same. These are experiences that I am so grateful for and I know you are always going to be someone I think of when I think of my history of writing on this hell site. You have worked so hard and gone through so much --- and overcome so much. I am so very proud of you, my friend. And I mean that, 100%, from the heart. I can't tell you how proud I am of all your work now and the way you push out these projects while still finding time to write. You are a marvel, my friend. Never let anyone put your light out --- you are stronger than anyone will ever know. I hope you know that. Thank you so much for your presence in my life, and the lives of all who know you. Know that we appreciate you and I, for one, am incredibly grateful for your friendship and existence in my life. Happy New Year, Becky ! Stay strong, my friend !

2022 is coming to an end!

AEHAWUEH GIIIIIRL YOU SAID IT! I love how we’ve just been cannonball-ing love at one another over these last few days though! 😭❤️ Though I once again feel like I will never be able to express how much I appreciate you, no matter how much I blabber off, hahah! But yeah, it’s honestly been so fun catching up like that, and once again it makes me look forward to us interacting more this 2023! Ahh you are such a dear, always spoiling me with all this love! I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but oh lord my heart can’t take it sometimes awewah!!!

I am so happy whenever we get the chance to chat again, like you said-- we have so much to share with one another and it-- feels so, so nice to just feel so comfortable around one another and open up to each other like this. ESPECIALLY with all the horrors that we have INDEED been through, WHEW! I truly appreciate the listening ear that you are always so ready to give me. And I hope you know my side is always open for when you need the same, along with all the hugs thrown in there.

And please-- the inspiring one is you! The incredible works that I still see you write on here, especially with how much you gotta do offline-- will always floor me. Leave me in absolute awe of your writing prowess (And of course the endless amount of love and passion that you have and are so able to easily show in all that you do). I know how tired you are, how much you yourself deal with on your end... and yet you are still going, GOING SO HARD AT IT ALL! STAYING SO DAMN STRONG, I swear you are actually a superhuman at times! And not to mention, the ability to make others feel so loved and appreciated, making them feel welcomed and that they actually belong here... you are truly one of the few gems that make this hellsite worth coming back to, again and again.

Happy New Year, my dear friend! I am once more so honored to know you and call you my friend. And I hope you will always know just how much I love, admire and appreciate you. No matter how quiet I may seem at times-- know just how hard I will always be rooting for you. How loudly I am actually screaming for your success, just like I had at the MMA fights, AUEHAWU!!! I was actually that loud despite how everyone around me were cheering and yelling too, apparently I embarrassed some folks around me, 8I Thank you so much, for all that you do. For continuing to be in my corner of the ring. For always being so understanding and loving and supportive towards me... You are a treasure, Ash. One of the greatest treasures this world’s ever’d seen. ❤️

@galaxycrxss ❤️💕❤️

#galaxycrxss #❄️ THE SWEETEST THING ❄️#❄️ QUEUE ❄️

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bbjimin-dududu · 2 years

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For starters, I have no idea how to do this🤩-

Anyways ajkdsjkd it was such an eventful year! There have been times when I plainly wanted to punch everyone out of existence, there have been moments when the world seemed to beautiful to let go. ;-; All i want to say is, I don't think I'd have made this far in a decent state of mind without this blog. Without all my followers and mutuals and everyone and everything lovely that exists on this hellsite. It's been over one year, ever since I first got this blog, but the friends, creations and memories that I have found here, are simply timeless.

This isn't a milestone celebration or a follow forever. It's a let's-welcome-2022-but-also-mutual-appreciation-post.

Wishing that everyone had a delightful Christmas, and now, I hope all of you could bid 2021 a much needed💀 goodbye, and look forward to a better, kinder, softer 2022. Trust me, the coming year will go just as fast as 2021 did. But hopefully, it'll treat you well. I hope, that anyone who's reading this, knows that you have never been alone. You've always been loved, and I pray that there should be so many amazing things waiting for all of us in 2022. Given the current situation, please do take utmost care of yourselves and let's all wait for the day when we're finally a step closer to being together, in all aspects. Love you guys 3000!💞💞💞

Let me *stands on a podium* start with my personal ramblings now<3

@intokook : ivy my beloved, bestest bestie award goes to you😔😔 i haveN'T KNOWN A MOMENT OF PEACE SINCE I GOT TO KNOW YOU BIT- anyways😔 thank you so much for allll the ramblings in the google doc, for random convos about anything at all, for caring about me every chance that you could, and simply just for being there. never leave this hellsite without telling me or you'll have a parcel called pristine at your doorstep, i love you💕💕

@taechnological : sae!!! you're that one chaotic friend that everyone secretly wants to befriend you know?🥺 your threads and your energy is really something that I endlessly love!! thank you so much for always matching my vibe, and here's to soooo many more crackheaded moments together, i love you💕💕

@gimbapchefs : nat :( i've always adored you from afar, even before we became moots, i just adore you sm :( you're like a soft marshmallow :( thank you for being there for my nutty self and for every other interaction that we've had! you're super cute :( i love you💕💕

@kimtaegis : annie!! i feel like a little fangirl blushing about whenever i interact with you💀 being friends w you is such an honour you don't even know!!! if you ever wanna talk about anythingggg please do hmu :( thank you so much for all the interactions we've had, and i def await so much more, i love you💕💕

@euphhorias : Liv omg😭 we started talking a LOT recently, and i really really couldn't be happier :( you're the elder version of me as i've already said and!! i'll always use the jikook line on you🥺 thank you for making me feel soft, loved and cared for all the freaking time, i love you💕💕

@blonghoonie : Rainie my beloved :( words leave me when it comes you :( you're so so full of love, for everyone, it just makes me so warm inside whenever i see you on my dash, whenever we're talking or spamming asks to each other💀 thank you for loving Pimin so much with me :( please know that i'm always here for you, i love you💕💕

@gentleyoon : Emily! We interact sometimes, but I just want to take this chance to tell you that I absolutely adore you and your presence on my dash! Everything about you screams gentle and loving :( please always be super lovely like this, there couldn't be a more lovelier version of you, i love you💕💕

@minieggukie : Kris hahsjhsk even as i type this, I'm instantly reminded of so many moments of Jimin, that I kinda associate w you :') thank you so much for the lovely set that you made for me on my bday, i still go back to it sm :((( and thank you posting that pic of jimin which i shall continue to reblog for the rest of my life😭😭 thank you for alllll the interactions we've had, you're amazing, i love you💕💕

@bluejaem : Aditi miss ma'am WE HAVE TO INTERACT MORE AND CAUSE CHAOS ON HELLSITE.COM PLEASE :') thank you so much for every other interaction that we've had! def loving jaemin hours 24/7 for you and loving jimin hours 24/7 for me, but let's spare a teeny tiny minute for each other🥴 please always take care of yourself, i love you💕💕

@daech-witless : Parker my boi :( One of my first first friends here!!! Lately I've been kinda busy, so haven't found much time to catch up with you🥺 i hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself🥺 thank you so much for always lifting my mood with your sweet asks, you're the bestie #1💀, i love you💕💕

@i4taee : Pepper my babieeeee!!! Idk what to say, I just fully wholly adore you to bits and pieces and atoms!!! You're an absolute sweetheart, always going about and taking care of people! Bless your loving heart, I'm so so so damn glad to have found you here! Please always spread love this way, and spare lots of it for yourself too!! I love you💕💕

@cherryvmin : Keerthana :(((((( the taehyung to my jimin truly :(((( thank you so much for being such a strong support at any given time, thank you so so much for all the moments we've shared. i wish only the best for you, you're an amazing person and you deserve soooooooooo much!!! I love you💕💕

@stayjimin : Luna!!! For the 3489573985th I miss you!!!!!! You're hug-shaped :( I just cannot ever stop loving you :(( you remind me of jimin more than anyone else :((( i hope you're taking good care of yourself, and i hope that we can interact so much more!! I love you💕💕

@megmargaretmarch : Meg... you're not here lately, but please know that whenever you're back, I'll be waiting just with open arms for you to come and give me a hug :( I reallllllly miss all the chaotic interactions that we had early in the year, and I hope we could go back to it soon. Thank you for making me feel loved when I was lonely. I love you💕💕

@hello-yav : Thanking heavens you decided to send me that anon ask Yav. Else I'd never have the privilege of meeting such a beautiful soul as you. Please always know that you're loved okay? I'm always always here for you. I love you💕💕

@hendeurigf : Lacey! For one, I'm glad I decided to take the step of sending anons to you. IgnorING THE FACT THAT I REVEALED MY IDENTITY accidentally ._. it's been an absolutely amazing thing knowing you :( You're a really sweet person, and you deserve so so many good things. I hope 2022 brings you far more love than 2021, and I hope you can focus on the positive things in life and learn to love yourself. Till then, I'm here for you and I love you💕💕

@diorkoo : Ash!!! I adore you so much!!!!!!! You're one of my strongest supports, always there to cheer for me when things take a shit turn. Please see how self-less you are, it's such a rare and wonderful thing to see!! You don't even know how grateful I am for you :( Please be kinder to yourself, I love you💕💕

@loveonthefloormp3 : Wifey #1 James😔💍 Let's just get married and adopt a cat eh?💀 Then we'll collectively fangirl over Ryujin and Yeji- anyways, thank you for always making my day by mentioning me in cat posts, soft posts, and anything really! Just makes me everything to know that you've thought of me :(( Please maintain touch with me for a loooooooong time, I love you💕💕

@jimeanour : Manny my fellow jm enthusiast🤠 we recently started interacting, buT BUT BUT i feel i can relate to you soooo much in soooooooo many different things!! I'm damn glad we match each other's vibe and I hope to get even more close in the coming year! I love you💕💕

@noceurrealm : âme my love :( you're the most adorable, fluffiest, goofiest little ball of sunshine ever!!! For one, I love talking to you and even if it's just rambling, I'd leave everything to just come to talk to you :((((( Please be kinder to yourself, I love you💕💕

@softhaeshine : Mimi!!!!! Marry me- 🥴 Libra-Sag energy high in the house hasdfkjs I'm so so damn glad that I've found you here! I really want to never ever stop talking to you :( you're an amazing person with such a pretty heart, so full of love, I don't see why anyone would not fall in love w you!!!! Let's interact so much more in the coming year!! I love you💕💕

@imdamnconfused : Kikiiiiiiiii my beloved angel darling lovely sis!!!!!! Let us meet some day PLEASE so I can give you the tightest hug ever!!!! You're one whom I can always always count on, no matter what :( Please always stay goofy like this, sending soooooooo many hugs your way!! I love you💕💕

@liza-empress-of-emojis : Liza!! you give off such positive vibes all the time :( I'm very very proud of you, despite all the hardships in your life, you're still fighting your way through life, and trust me, I respect that so damn much.🦋 Please always take care of yourself and spread love and never change! I love you💕💕

@ackergrr : have to agree I really really missed your memes when you were gone😭 I'm really glad that you're back and continuing with the same cursed head-assery and I'm more than willing to join you<3333 Thank you for leaving me with a light heart and smiles all the time, I love you💕💕

@avizou : Awi!!!!!! I have so much love for you and i'm sorry i don't quite get a chance to show it :( You're elder than me, but you never ever make me feel different in any way. I have so much admiration for you and the amazing things that you post!!! I really hope the universe sends 10x the love to you that you give out, I love you💕💕

@starryjongseong : Oi Pranaya my lil sis ;-; taking this chance to say that I've not found much time to talk to you as of late :( I hope you're doing fine and please know that you're one of the cutest bubbiest sweetest people I know!! I'm always gonna be here if you need to talk, I love you💕💕

@jieunssi : Amal :( It's been a looooong time since we've been moots, and I must agree it's been so lovely knowing you, and interacting with you!! I don't think I've mentioned, but you're quite elder to me, so I look up to you a lot! You're so soft and loving inside-out, I love you💕💕

@parkdiaries-main-deactivated202 : Chae. I'll wait for you for as long as this hellsite exists. I found so much in you. The Chandler to my Joey, the toast to my butter. I love you so damn much. And I miss you so much. I don't know if you've returned and can simply not find me because of my url change, or if you've still not come, but either ways I'll wait. I'll wait for you to return so that I can be your significant bother once again. I'm praying that everything is well w you, I love you💕💕

@thatredwine : Erl!!! It's been next-level amazing being moots w you!! Every single interaction that we've had so far is just so hfdjakhdafsd and screams chaos :') I hope to have so many such amazing moments with you in the coming year! Please remain healthy and happy genuinely, I love you💕💕

@lost-leopard-beanie : Emma darling🥺🥺 you dshjsddsj idk what to say!!! you're so damn sweet and cute and precious and I just want to wrap you in bubble-wrap and keep you for myself and take care of you🥺🥺🥺 please always be confident about what you do, and know that you're loved!! I love you💕💕

@min-boongie : Réka🥺 I relate to you in so many different things, you wouldn't even know :( Who Yoongi is to you, Jimin is to me. Every time you're just mushy rambling about yoon I cannot help but think that it's exactly the way I cry over jimin :( and it gives me so much reassurance to know, that there are soft beloved souls like you on this planet :( I hope you're able to fulfill your priorities in life and that you get the love that you deserve in 2022. I love you💕💕

@yuniixoxo : Yuni!!!! You're the sweetest sweetest sweetesttttttttt person around!! You never fail to put a smile on my face, and I simply cherish you soooooooooooooo much for that!! Thank you for existing, and for being you, I hope you get sooooo much love in 2022! I love you💕💕

@jaefmin : Vidhi/Ara :') I don't think you know, but you're super super cute and always carry around an enthusiastic vibe around you!! I'm so glad to have befriended you here, and I hope that we can get closer in the coming year! I love you💕💕

@stray-kiss : Maluuuu bestie we gotta interact more😔😔 I hope everything's been well with you and I hope you're taking care of yourself :(( you're always so nice and kind to me, thank you so much for every interaction that we've had :(( I love you💕💕

@pyxisadamo : Joy🥺🥺 I get kinda emotional when it's about you idk dhjsjhsd you've been treating me so carefully, showering so much love upon me, I really couldn't be happier :( I'm so so thankful for you, for everything and I really hope that 2022 brings love and happiness to you :(( I hope we can interact more in a few years, anddd I love you💕💕

@pjmsdior : Isabella!!!!! Sweetest person on this planet!!!!!!! You never ever fail to bring happiness to anyone! If there's anyone on this site who's the kindest person I've met, it's literally you. You're no lesser than an angel, you've got so much love to give out and you always place everyone above you. I hope that the universe is always kind to you and I'm sending you the most gigantic jimin-hug ever to thank you for everything!! I love you💕💕

@hobeah : Niki!!! You're a sweetheart is all I can manage to say because!!!!! I adore you sooooooooooooooo much!!! I still remember how madly happy I was when we became moots :( Thank you so so much for being you, for being so lovely, for everything!!!! I love you💕💕

@marvelousbangtan : Crystal<3 I can understand that life is being really hard on you right now. So I'm praying that the universe brings you better things in 2022 and lots of strength to heal from what you're going through. I promise you'll be fine real soon, please take care of yourself, I love you💕💕

@serotaejin : Literally gives me a serotonin rush whenever i interact with you why!!!🥴🦋 You're a reallly sweet amazing nice polite lovely etc etc etc person and I just have sooooooo much love for you!! Thank you for much for being moots w me and loving me i'm so damn grateful :(((( I love you💕💕

@cosyserendipity : Sonja :(( you're such a beautiful and warm person, inside out! All little interactions, sweet asks and mentions and just you being there for me is something that I cherish very very very dearly :( I hope you have an amazinggggggg year ahead, I love you💕💕

@userjiminie : Rafa!!! By god I'm so so thankful to you for alllll the amazing jikook content that you serve! Like I couldn't be more jealous of them😵- hehe dshkjdsf anyways thank you so much for your amazing presence and just always know that you're beloved okay??? I love you💕💕

@marethetic : Mare :(( Idk when you'll see this, but whenever you do, please know that I cherish you so so so damn much. You're my first first real friend online EVER and I'm so damn glad that I decided to post on weverse that day. You replied, we became close, exchanged numbers dude!!! We have to meet one day for I want to give you the tightest hug everrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Thank you for everything, for listening to my ramblings and for always supporting me! You make me feel safe and loved. I hope you have an amazing year ahead!! I love you💕💕

@kithtaehyung : Ryen!!! I'm just so much in awe of you all the damn time!!!!!!! Thank you for the amazing creations that you put out, thank you for supporting my creations and just generally thank you for being such a wonderful person!!! Looking forward to interacting this year!!! I love you💕💕

@psycho-mocha : [extremely late mention because i'm a shithead] Mocha!!!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE talking to you :(((( it makes me so damn happy to see your messages in my dms every once in a while, and the random topics that we ramble about- *ahem* anyways, dear light of my life, always keep shining like a pretty little light, and i hope this year treats you just as well!!!! I love you💕💕

Lovingly yours,

Pristine💌

#!!!! edit: i'm gonna change my url soon aksjskj :)#i'm sorry if this is too early/late it's just supposed to come out on 31st or 1st djkhfdkf #aaaand i'll rb this post with the rest of my moots too dumblr has some shit mention limit that idk about😭#andddddddddd this is highly unedited so DONT MIND ANY ERRORS-#sdkjjks i love u guysss #smmmm #happy new year<33333 #alsO i hope i didn't repeat anyone adhjdjkhd #mutuals;#mutual appreciation post #with love!#happy new year!#2022 #01.01.2022

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imdoingsortagay · 2 years

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The Eternals when you ask for $5

A/n: https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdr6AKRx/

This TikTok is the only reason I’m writing this 😭. I was in the parking lot waiting to be called in for dental work and this popped up and so I thought “ hey why not write my own version “. Also, I’m gonna exclude sprite in this one

No spoilers for Eternals if you haven’t seen it

another thing I'd like to add the bold part for the dialogue for Makkari is how I'm formatting it for sign language but I'm gonna try to research an article on how to do it!

Like and reblogs are greatly appreciated !!!

Sersi :

She is the sweetest person ever and you can’t tell me otherwise. You only wanted to borrow $5 for some snacks and had told her you’d pay her back when you could but she’s always so sweet and caring.

“ Why are you giving me $20 sersi? I just wanted $5”

“ Maybe In case you wanted more stuff when you got there y/n”

She’s too pure for this world

Thena:

You don’t know if she even has money, to begin with, but it’s worth the try to ask.

“ thena can I ask you a question?”

“ nope “

“ you don’t even know what I’m gonna ask “

“ nope “

Ajak

The lady has to be fully convinced to give her money so you could get snacks. You think she’d give it to you but she also has to maintain her horses and stuff.

" Can I have money for snacks ajak? Please ?"

" isn't there snacks for you here honey? "

" Fruits and water but I also want some chips from the store if you would please give me the money"

" I have to have money for the horses y/n sorry about it "

"Ajak, I'm only getting a bag of chips like you 'll still have money to spare for the horses"

About 10 more minutes of convincing and she ends up giving you the money. She also has you bring back the change from the money. It was only a couple of cents, IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE

Makkari

(Bolded to show Sign Language)

You don't know her that well because you usually talk to others but it wouldn't hurt to ask her and you did so you

"hey, Makkari can I ask you a question?"

" Sure what's the question?"

" do you by chance have money so I could buy some snacks "

" You need money to buy snacks?"

" How else would you buy snacks, I mean unless you make like snacks with the food you have"

"y/n, give me about 1 minute"

She ends up speeding away and unsure as to where or what she's even doing in the one minute she's gone. You hope to the universe that she didn't ignore you. Though the universe proves you wrong and she ends up coming back with 2 bags full of an assortment of snacks that you are unsure as to where she even got them or if she even paid.

Ikaris

You asked him one day for snack money and he only did it because of sersi. She was standing a couple of feet away from both of you and gave you 10 more bucks to make it seem like he was a nice dude.

the next time you asked him he said no

" lkaris can I borrow $5?"

" No y/n"

" you gave me almost $20 the other time and I know it was because sersi was close by, cmon dude"

" no "

" what if I tell her you gave me the money to impress her huh? "

He was too afraid of what that would do to her opinion of him and ends up giving you more than what you asked for that day. You either finesse or be finessed.

Kingo

like everything in his existence, he has to film it for his social media account. in his words, he has to " keep the fans happy". What could have been an easy 5-minute task ended up taking you an hour because he kept taking too long recording

" why do we have to film yourself giving me money kingo?"

" for my documentary and socials"

" god your dramatic"

Druig

It was risky asking him after hearing about what he did with the Eternals and even what he did after Ajak had let them go. When you did ask him for the money all he did was say nothing and ended up leaving for a good 30 minutes somewhere like Makkari did.

And the man ended up coming back with 2 bags full of snacks, good snacks too.

" How did you get this ? "

" Mind control the guy to give it to me "

" WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU HAD NO CASH STUPID"

" This was easier"

Phastos

He didn't seem like the type to even carry cash on him, especially since he's very keen on technology so you're not surprised when he says no to borrowing cash.

in a twist of events though, he ends up offering to have some delivered since it means you don't even need to go to the store. It was a bit pricy but you still got snacks either way.

#lizs writing #eternals #thena #sersi #ajak #makkarrii #ikaris #kingo #druig #phastos #eternals x reader #marvel insert

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pentechnics · 2 years

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Hello, my lovelies!✨

Thank you so much for your patience during this time! I am 100% still working on all my WIPs, but life got real busy during the holiday season, which is why I've been a bit absent on posting. But don't fret, I've got new content on the way soon!

I wanted to take a second and acknowledge folks that made 2021 a fantastic year for me despite the sadness of the world around us. I started this blog in April and so many of you have had my back since day one! I have all of you to thank for the existence of these stories. Consider this my way of thanking you for being your fantastical selves!

In no particular order:

@the-scandalorian my beloved, your writing was what inspired me to post my very first fic. And as time went on, we became good friends! You're an absolute delight, not to mention a total sweetheart who is always so supportive and kind. Thank you for being so open to my tiny rants and especially thirsty moments lol. I'm so lucky to call you a friend!

@dincrypt darling you are such a gem. E&M was my introduction to Din fics and thus was the jump-start to this whole thing, and I couldn't have asked for a better way to begin the journey! You're a beautiful soul that I always love talking with and I can't thank you enough for your friendship!

@keldabe-kriff I'm so glad we found each other! You're such a fun person to talk with and I love every interaction we have. Seeing your usernames in my notifs always puts a smile on my face! Your support and kindness has been such a driving force. I really appreciate you, love!

@literallydontlook you gave my fic a chance despite its rating, and because of that I gained a friend. Each of your comments makes me so happy. Not to mention that each piece of artwork you create makes my heart go brrrrr, especially the piece you made for OLAT! That changed the game for me -- someone as talented as you lent your craft to bring a piece of my fic to life, and that's something I'll never get over! I literally look at it all the time 😭

@salome-c I am so lucky to have met you, my dear! Not only are you a lovely soul and friend, but your comments on my fics always pull at my heart. They're always so thoughtful and lovely, it makes my soul melt! And I always run to my laptop to keep writing after I've read something from you. Your words have so much power! You're an angel and I appreciate you so much!

@mypedrom you are such a beautiful soul. I love talking with you so much -- it always brings me so much joy! I feel very lucky that fic writing brought us together; you are so wildly talented, it blows my mind every time! I cannot wait to see what the future brings us! 😉 Thank you for always being a source of love, compassion, and positivity!

@fisforfulcrum @the-little-ewok @pumpkin-stars @phantomviola you all welcomed me to the fam with open arms and make me feel like I belong every day. You're utter sweethearts and I always get a laugh from our silly conversations! Thank you for being such a strong support system as well as a safe space for me to be my goofy self!

@ muffin anon: not only do you send me the sweetest asks here, but your asks to my main make me smile every time! They always seem to find me when I'm down and I instantly light up again. You're so fun to talk to and I love hearing from you so much! Thank you for being your beautiful self, both when I drive you wild with my posts and when you're complimenting my writing! I love you very much!

@ honey anon: you're an absolute ANGEL and I do not know what I did to deserve your good graces. Your messages always bring me such joy, and I literally reread them all the time! I keep screenshots of them for quick access when I need a motivational boost. That's how powerful your words are, dear. You help me continue to believe in myself and thus make me want to become a better writer. I love you so much and I hope the universe gives you all the good vibes that you deserve!!

@ every single person who reads my fics, leaves me comments, reblogs my things, sends me asks/requests, every person on all of my taglists, and everyone who otherwise interacts with my things: you all mean the world to me. Every message (anon or not), every reblog and comment, every keysmash or delightful string of tags, I eat it all up. Every single note from you all keeps me going and inspires me to keep creating! You're all the actual best, I have the greatest readers in the world and no one will ever convince me otherwise. You're all rockstars and I can't wait to keep interacting with you all going forward!

Happy New Year to you all! I hope that you had a fun and safe time, and that your year brings you all the good things you deserve. Here's to our little family of folks who love a certain space dilf and celebrate that love through art!

I love you all so much! ❤️

#Happy New Year everyone!#❤️❤️❤️

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valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn · 2 years

Note

Yeah I was not trying to say that from STEPHAN'S point of view, looking into the multiverse to try and get an upper hand on Thanos made no sense. Of course no one in universe would know anything about the multiverse or the TVA's existence. I was trying to say that from a VIEWER'S perspective the whole thing is completely jacked up now because WE know about the TVA. Like I said, what could have Stephen possibly been looking at? Those 14 million variations couldn't have been too different otherwise they would have been pruned before Strange even got the chance to look at them. Like the nexus event of those universes had to be the thanos fight itself.

Also I deepy appreciate your offer to talk-talk to you. Your too good for this world 😭 - 🐍 Anon

Aw anytime honey! 😉

Okay, I think I understand now and you're completely right. That's one of the things that I feel Marvel are pretty bad at. I'm not sure I'll know how to explain it but I'll try.

You know in NWH when they have Peter defeat Stephen in the mirror dimension by figuring out it's all geometry? Marvel has this tendency to first present something as otherworldly and extraordinary... but then they don't know what to do with it so they come up with a silly explanation that renders that once extraordinary thing as completely mundane and boring.

I hate that. I hate it with a passion.

Magic is not supposed to be something dull, it's meant to be exceptional, unique, striking, we're supposed to revel at it.

When Stephen is using the Time Stone in Titan and he talks about the multiverse and different timelines and all those universes, that's great! That's big! That's unthinkable for us! Which is awesome, we watch these things to be amazed. So why, why the hell do they have to turn that into the TVA, an extremely boring (and fascistic) organization where it's all bureaucracy... and renders a part of IW and to a lesser extent EG completely meaningless?

Because like you say, the TVA would have intervened, Ravonna herself admits to Loki in ep1 that the Avengers going back in time was always part of the plan. So yay, now we watch IW and the sacrifice of the heroes has lost part of its charm.

It's like they think that in order to make these stories familiar to us they need to bring them down to earth, where they work exactly like our world does and it's no different to what we know. And that's completely unnecessary, we don't need our fantasy to be down to earth, we want to revel in it and be inspired by it.

I hope I did understand what you were trying to say this time, if I didn't please tell me because it's entirely possible I went on a tangent again and missed the point 😂😅

#mcu salt

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beautyofthend · 3 years

Note

I'm glad I've found some people that want Jakki. All I keep seeing lately is Harry/nikki everywhere. How after THAT episode. I don't hate the guy but can people please give Jack a chance, he deserves 😭

Jack does deserve a chance !! And it’s so easy to appreciate that Harry and Jack both love Nikki in their own ways; they both benefited her at the different times in her life. I don’t think Jack would’ve suited Nikki between S8-15 as I don’t think Harry would suit Nikki now. They’re both totally different and both relationships were different.

The thing that *I* take issue with is the idea that Harry and Nikki would instantly get together if Harry came back now, because they wouldn’t? Did Harry and Nikki love each other? Yes. Would they have eventually got into a relationship had Harry stayed? I think they would’ve. But there’s been too much time between when he left and now, that those feelings have dissipated (past the point of “absence makes the heart grow fonder”). Nikki has moved on - we can see that; she may have taken her time but she has moved on and now she’s allowing herself to admit that she is in love with Jack. And in truth, if Harry came back now, he would take one look at Jack and Nikki and go “What are you two playing at? Just get together.”

And people saying that Harry was better for Nikki than Jack? No he wasn’t. In the same way that Jack isn’t better for Nikki than Harry. They exist separately; Nikki has loved both (it is possible to fall in love more than once), but now she loves them in different ways. She was in love with Harry at one point, but he left and set sail across the world leaving Nikki behind and move on from that; which she has. And the fact it has taken her years to move on shows how much she did love Harry - but it’s past tense, she still loves Harry but she is not *in love* with Harry and that’s okay. I firmly believe that they are still besties and they laugh over that time together, but she is *in love* with Jack now and that’s okay and he deserves the chance without being repeatedly compared to Harry in a negative way - they are two separate characters.

#silent witness #i have a lot of thoughts on this topic #like compare harry & jack yes because that’s fun #but to say that one is better than the other doesn’t sit right w me #question

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maiverie · 2 years

Note

SHUT THE FUCK UP I CAME BACK ON THE BEST DAY EVER… MAI WHAT IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY? APRIL 6TH? I’LL NOTE THAT DOWN RN 📝 HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY HOLY SHIT!!! DUDE YOU’RE LITERALLY THE OLDEST BUT MOST CHILDISH PERSON EVER (BUT I LOVE THAT)!! I LITERALLY LOVE YOU BESTFRIEND.

Jokes aside, I’m really sorry I haven’t been active and there to support you. :( Maybe when the holidays come around? I’ll pretty much be back on track and updating everything. BUT MAI. You have always been there for me, dead or not and I’m so thankful I could find someone as kind and caring as you are. AHHH YOU ARE LITERALLY A WALKING SHINY STAR AND YOU MAKE MY WORLD BRIGHTEN UP EVEN WITH A SINGLE WORD! Your existence itself just makes me jump in excitement every time I hop onto this app. YOU are the reason why I even come back from time to time, honestly. Although I wish I could provide you a better gift than writing to you in your inbox but I hope you take my words for granted because I mean EVERY, I mean EVERY word that I state in this. Iseriously, seriously, seriously, SERIOUSLY hope you have the best 21st (?) ever my beloved, I love you so much. GET SPOILED LOADS!! I’LL SHIP AN ALBUM (AND MYSELF) OVER WHEN I CAN 😈 🤍

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SELEENAAAAAA NAURRRRRRRRR IM LITERALLY SO DEPRESSED AB MY BIRTHDAY DONT EVEN TALK TO ME ISUCKEJC I HATE IT HERE IM ACTUALLY FUCKING ANCIENT 💀AND STOP THIS I LITERALLY LOVE U SM????? ICB WE’RE FRIENDS LIKE IM SO GLAD WE MET THRU TUMBLR AND WHAT ARE THE FUCKING CHANCES URE FROM AUS TOO 😭😭💗💗💗 ITS FATE ME THINKS

OMFG NOOO DONT APOLOGISE???? 😭 omg school is actually wild these days so i totally understand r u kidding :(( DONT WORRY AB ME BESTIE PLS TAKE CARE OF URSELF??? ILYSM U LITERALLY ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE WHEN U COME ON TUMBLR AND STOP IM LITERALLY SOFT RN DONT TELL ME U COME AROUND HERE BC OF ME IM GNA CRY 😭😭😭💔💔💔 URE ACTUALLY WILD I LOVE UR ENERGY SM YOURE SO FUNNY AND FUN TO CHAT W I APPRECIATE U SM WORDS CANNOT EXPLAIN :((( you’re actually the best person ever,,, i just know everybody in ur life loves u bc how could they not :<<<< the way u just brighten up everything??? 😭

NAUR BC I WILL DEADASS SHIP U SMTH ONE DAY??? OR PLS COME TO BRISSY???? jokes watch me rock up to syd 😈 ILYSM FR :(( SO GLAD TO HAVE U IN MY LIFE 😭💗💕💖💞💓💕

#ask #selenayummies #WHY IS THIS BITCH SO KIND I— 😭😭😭😭

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jaegerbroshoe · 3 years

Text

Chapter 137 Thoughts

Started from the top, now we’re here.

Warning: This is long and not very coherent because it’s my live reaction to the chapter.

1) I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE GETTING MORE TITAN SCIENCE REVEALS??? I’M FREAKING OUT.

2) WHAT THE FUCK, ZEKE IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS ALL THIS??? THE FOUNDING TITAN IS LITERALLY GOD OMG. LIKE, EREN AND ZEKE ARE OMNIPOTENT ON A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL. (Sorry for all the yelling, I’m just really excited).

3) Okay, I need to stop freaking out and actually read the chapter.

4) But seriously, I’m soooo happy snk is going with a scientific explanation to all this.

5) The title of this chapter is “Titans”?!

6) This is literally an evolution lesson, man. I can’t.

7) Okay, this is too philosophical. I don’t compute. (Me after 8 hours of work).

8) Yoooo, that’s deep.

9) Is it just me or is the theme of wishes confirmed after all?? Cause like, this is implying that this all happened because of Ymir’s wish when she “died”. I guess you could think of it as a deal after all...but with the source (not a devil). Ymir didn’t actually want to die because she longed to be connected to other humans, so the source granted her that wish by creating the PATHS dimension. But in exchange, she had to carry out the source’s wish to multiply... So their relationship was one of mutualism.

10) I’m crying.

Ymir just wanted love after all?? Like, she wanted to connect with people, but she was never allowed to. She also never got to experience her freedom of life, and I think that’s why she didn’t want to die at the time. And Eren understood that, since he believes in the right to exist simply for being born into this world 😭.

Maybe this is the very thing Ymir wanted from them that Armin mentions later? For people to stop fighting and connect with one another and appreciate the fact that they’re alive in this world together.

11) Hold up, I just realized that the flashbacks indicate Zeke saw Ymir’s backstory too. Or did he already know about it before he and Eren had their conversation...?

12) Damn, Zeke. You’re not wrong though.

13) This chapter is really delving deep into philosophy. I’m shooketh. I mean, there’s a lot to unpack here. But this conversation is a good callback to Erwin’s speech about death. “Is there a point in living if we’re all going to die one day?” This is a question I ponder frequently...

14) Dude, I can’t even process all of this right now. Isayama is really examining the meaning of life and existence itself, huh?

15) I really understand Zeke’s thoughts on a spiritual level though.

16) Holy shit, are we finally getting the “see you later, Eren” scene?? But Armin wasn’t there?? (Me two seconds later: Never mind.)

17) Uhm excuse me? I take offence.

18) Okay, I am legit crying at work?? I resonate with so much of this. Like literally, I’ve wanted to die so many times and thought like Zeke but then it would be the little things like how beautiful nature is or the feeling of joy that would make me appreciate having the chance to experience all of this by being alive. Isayama captured this beautifully.

19) This is literally the purest thing I’ve read 😭.

My EMA feels have been hit so hard 😭.

20) Isayama is telling us that no matter how cruel life is, to appreciate the little mundane moments that make it worth it. This is such a wonderful message.

21) Wow, it’s nice to know the squad went to the market together. Not like I needed to be in any more pain or anything.

22) BROOOOOO THAT LEAF AND BASEBALL SYMBOLISM??! LIKE, YOU SEE WHATEVER IT IS THAT IS PRECIOUS TO YOU?? I AM NOT OKAY??

23) Armin saw the leaf because it was linked to that fond memory of him and his friends, while Zeke saw the baseball because it’s the one thing that gave him joy in life. I repeat, I am not okay.

24) So this chapter is examining how humans have kind of deviated from the standard biological need to multiply in order to give meaning to life. Because we have other more complex ways to do that. Man, I’ve had this conversation with my siblings so many times. I’m happy to know Isayama and I think alike regarding this.

25) Umm excuse me, but what is Kruger doing here? Was he precious to Zeke...? (This was the moment the chapter plummeted into the depths of hell for me.)

26) Is that Bertolt creeping up on Armin??

27) Interestingly, all of their eyes are shadowed. Also, kid!Marcel... I can’t. I’m glad he and Porco reunited I guess.

28) Yeah, I’m not sure I like the whole “the dead are helping them” bit... But I guess based on what Zeke was saying, SoY never die because of PATHS? We could’ve gone without this though. It cheapens the chapter.

29) Why is it only now that they’re helping?? I don’t know man, that doesn’t add up... Also, if Kruger is supposedly helping too, that’s bullshit considering he was all Team Eldia... And Xaver wanted euthanasia so...

It’s honestly not fair how only the wills of the people who are on the Alliance’s side are always shown. It’s not realistic that no one else thinks Eren is right. Like, why isn’t Floch popping up and trying to instill his wishes after death too??

30) Ugh Gabi.

31) Lmao, did we really need that callback @ “Give Armin back!”?

32) Seriously though, if these aren’t Eren/Ymir’s intentions, why would the Pig Titan have swallowed Armin in the first place? That’s the only reason he was able to talk to Zeke, and that conversation was clearly important (especially if you consider how it may be what Ymir wanted of them). There were also much more easier ways to just kill the others if Eren/Ymir truly wanted to succeed in the Rumbling.

33) Ew aruani can stay out of my sight forever, thanks.

34) Yeah, I am not a fan of this cringe “we’re all in this together!” bullshit. Like, Grisha is helping them too?? This part is dabbling too much in the shounen “power of friendship” trope.

35) Um excuse me, what the fuck is this?

Zeke literally popped out half-naked on a spike... I did not need that imagery ever.

36) Okay, Zeke deserves way better than this. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

37) That whole spiel about living and appreciating life, and yet he still has to kill himself?

38) Also, I’m bitter there was no conversation between Eren and Zeke. It would have been infinitely more meaningful for Zeke’s arc to end with him being surrounded by family. And why couldn’t it be Eren who made him realize all this?

39) Yeah, Ymir definitely just wanted love.

And she wanted them all to be connected because she lacked connections all her life. She just wanted a family. I am not okay.

40) I’m sorry, hold up. What.

41) How did this chapter go from “excellent” to “what the fuck is this cringey bullshit”.

42) After all this, Zeke says he still thinks euthanasia was right? How is this a proper conclusion to his story? I guess the fact that he called Grisha “dad” is good though.

43) Also, what is this about being “born once more”?? There’s reincarnation after all...? Eughhh.

44) Okay, is this confirmation that Bertolt was controlling Armin on some level after all?

45) Armin: “Bertolt, I took everything away from you. Even your girl.”

Ugh this part is just so...no (Big yikes @ aruani...Like, is it even genuine on Armin’s part?). Why is he acting like Bertolt didn’t take everything away from him too??? Like hello??? He knocked down the Wall??? Which led to all of this???

46) I am so offended that the line “lend me your strength” was tainted in this way. Like seriously, I did not appreciate that at all.

47) I’m sorry but why is Zeke forced to apologize for all the killing he did as a way to conclude his arc but RBA and everyone else are excused?? Like, the way he just dies right after makes it seem like he wasn’t even redeemed. Because he’s “asking for too much” 😡.

48) In the end, Zeke is the one who saved everyone actually...

49) Did it really have to be beheading. And did it really have to be Levi who did it.

50) So the key was to disrupt the connection to the Founding Titan after all.

51) I...am at a loss of words in regards to Jean.

52) This is just so disappointing. Was there a need for that cringey line? This is what Jean chooses to say to Eren as a goodbye? Disgusting. Did Isayama forget what Jean said in 118? Like, why are the characters all over the place when it comes to Eren? I’m tired of defending this.

53) The irony in “life” (the source) trying to keep Eren alive which would in turn keep the Rumbling (death) going though lmao.

54) Jean hesitated more about Reiner dying than Eren... What the fuck even. So much for, “I’ll never be able to forgive you” 🙄.

55) I’m sorry, I’m laughing. This is too cheesy. Please stop.

On a more serious note, I just realized that this is Xaver’s Beast Titan form lmao.

56) Okay, I’m confused. So they’re gonna kill Eren and get rid of the powers but wouldn’t that get rid of Falco’s ability to fly too? If killing Eren is the only way all those Wall Titans will vaporize? Cause I’m assuming that’s their aim? To vanquish all the Wall Titans?

57) Mikasa did nothing in the end 💀. Is this her character development though? Standing back and letting Eren get killed?

58) That electrical charge across Armin’s panel... Is this where “see you later, Eren” is gonna come in? So it was actually Armin saying it? Or? It depends on what the original Japanese line said I guess.

59) Honestly, I know Zeke and Eren just died but the execution was done in a way that makes me feel absolutely nothing.

60) I wonder if Eren is actually dead though because there was a lot of emphasis placed on his Titan’s head. And back in chapter 131, his human face was shown to be attached to the Dinosaur Titan’s spine. Hmm...

61) No matter how I think of it, Ymir/Eren got what they wanted. They only stopped putting up a fight when Zeke had his realization about life being worth it and he/Armin understood what it is that Ymir wanted.

Cause it seriously doesn’t make any sense for Kruger and Grisha’s Titans to suddenly appear and help when it’s Ymir who builds them? And also, even if Zeke has royal blood that allows him to use the FT, it’s still Ymir who makes the final decision. So...if she didn’t want this, it shouldn’t have been possible???

62) Anyways, the fact that there’s still two chapters left keeps me hopeful. I’m guessing the next one will wrap up all the political bullshit and give the survivors an epilogue. And then the last chapter will hopefully be that long-awaited Eren POV? Honestly, this prediction is the only thing that has me going. If I turn out to be wrong after all this (i.e. this wasn’t Eren’s plan and/or we don’t see Eren again), I’m not gonna be okay with any of this.

To end off, I’m definitely gonna give the first part of the chapter another reread once I have time because that requires some brainpower I don’t have after working all day.

And when it comes to the rating of this chapter, it’s a mixed bag for me. Which is a shame because up to the switch in perspective, I would rate it 100/10. The beginning had some of the most beautiful scenes in the whole story. But the second half of the chapter is just so poorly executed, that I genuinely can’t give it more than 3/10 at most.

#snk spoilers #snk 137 #snk thoughts #rant #my opinion #a part of me sort of wants the next chapter to be like 'psych eren wins' just so we can laugh about how all that cringe was for nothing

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trashexplorer · 5 years

Text

BLCD Review: Given vol. 4

Title: Given (ギヴン)

Release Date: 2018/11/22

Author/Artist: Kizu Natsuki

Cast:

Furukawa Makoto + Saitou Souma

Hamano Daiki Hino Satoshi x Takumi Yasuaki

Tamaru Atsushi

Hamano Daiki

Synopsis: Adaptation of volume 4.

Review Proper

I’m angry.

Like, really angry.

But before we delve into the reason why, let me just elaborate on what I’ve said in my previous post. I’ve had this since the 25th of November but I haven’t had the balls to listen to this until a few days ago but I decided last minute that I wanted to listen to it while reading the manga. I had to look for the English trans and the raws since the English trans only went up to Track 20 and the CD went up to Track 21. It was taking a lot of time since nothing was loading because of my shit internet and I was like: fuck it, I’ll just go listen to some other stuff first. (Hear about my regrets about the BLCD log I’ve made in my next review).

Anyway, I’ve been such a good little trooper in keeping myself away from spoilers for Given as I was with 3 so I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I started 4. NOBODY SPOIL ME ON THE EVENTS AFTER 21 IN THE REPLIES PLEASE. If my opinions about them or the characters are wrong then allow me to sort that out myself when I’m ready. I knew that Gusari was gonna fuck me up all over again but no amount of preparation could ever prepare me for the kizu Kizu Natsuki had in store for me.

I started off pretty calm, though I was a little apprehensive on seeing Ugetsu from the get go (I’ll explain why later). But then fast forward a few pages later and I realize that my boy Haruki was never informed of Ugetsu’s existence???

I calmed myself down and I thought that it was just probably for comedic relief and that he’d just brush it off ‘cause it seemed to me that the focus was going to be Uenoyama’s jealousy - well, at least that was true for the first one and a half Tracks (sans Akihiko and Ugetsu’s backstory which I will discuss in a bit). I’m really, really, glad that Mafuyu and Uenoyama’s relationship is going in a rather mature direction because I had initially thought that they were just going to stroll along a path of hearts and rainbows. Gusari slapping us with the reality that they’re both going to deal with Mafuyu’s traumas is very well appreciated. 🙇‍♀️ Mafuyu, for me, often comes off quite expressionless so seeing him worried and raw made him seem more human. I was swooning and was choking up when Uenoyama’s mature but silly ass took his man in his arms and apologized. 😭😭😭 And thus, balance has been restored to this couple’s lives again - thank you, Captain Communication!

I was having a little party in my head after those pages but then:

BOY WE BEEN KNEW.

I-I was about to feel happy, sensei? W-why would you do this? I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life but, there are just some things in this world that I dare say that I don’t deserve happening to me.

And one of them is this.

NO SHIT, SON.

And just when Take-chan has finally made his appearance, Gusari decides to send my world crashing down. 😩 But I think that Take-chan taking Haruki in his own band sounds like a better idea but him taking Haruki into his arms is the best tbh 😏 . Yo, I felt so bad for Haruki (not because of Akihiko, we’ll discuss that later) and I was so worried that he’d get depressed and overthink his worth in the band making him leave eventually because of just how out-of-reach his band members seem to be. I had initially thought that the main reason he was stressin’ out when he walked in on Mafuyu and Uenoyama working on the new song was that he was starting to feel like he doesn’t want to be in the band anymore. When you’ve nothing but achievers for friends, you’d get this feeling often so I understand. 😩 But surprisingly enough, Haruki doesn’t completely think like that. Given the chance, he would’ve probably been able to tell them that he was thinking of playing support for his ex-gf’s band for a while for change of pace and that in itself would be an indication that he wasn’t just going to up an leave on them. DON’T SPOIL ME IF HE HAS ALREADY LEFT.

So now at this point of Track 19, I was thinking that the following events might just be about Haruki trying to keep up with his mates and maybe even battling his insecurity BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I like this particular screenshot because I basically screamed those words at the end out loud during this scene.

*inhale* *exhale*

On the scale of 1 to Akihiko, just how much of an asshole is Akihiko? Wait. That’s wrong, he’s a top so he’s not an asshole - he’s a dick. Oh boohoo, you have a sad past. That’s not an excuse for playing around with another person’s feelings! And neither is it a reason for assaulting them! I just hate how he knows about Haruki’s feelings and uses it against him like Haruki owes him his life. 🙄 I actually liked Akihiko in the first two volumes and there was a part of me that wanted him to choose Haruki in the end during volume 3 but, this bitch honestly should just delete himself out of Haruki’s life??? Why does Haruki have to be just an “option”? We’re not playing basketball so why the hell are you asking him to get the rebound? I legit shed a tear when Haruki ran out. 🔪🔪🔪 I know that it’s going to be unlikely but, Haruki needs to get him out of his hair (and he actually tries by chopping it off). That don’t work son, I tried. 😭 Haru needs a boyfriend from the “get you a man” category. Like Yukitaka - WRONG HARU WRONG HARU. IF YOU CAN SPLIT MIDOTAKA UP THEN YOU CAN MAKE HARU FIND ANOTHER MAN, GUSARI.

Man, I know some people are gonna come for me after this but, I just don’t like Ugetsu. I didn’t really care for Ugetsu that much in vol. 3 and my frustration was more directed at Akihiko then. After listening and reading 4, I can’t say that I’ve now seen him in a better light now that I’ve learned a little more about him and his background. He has a sad backstory too but as with Akihiko, it’s not an excuse for him to be half-assed about everything. He’s basically just leading Akihiko on and that in turn makes Akihiko lead Haruki on and yous know how I feel about people messing with my child. 🔪🔪🔪 I absolutely hate their relationship. Normally my sadistic ass would jump straight in when I see a pool of toxic relationships (sometimes I cannonball it even) but, theirs is literally one of the worst I’ve seen in a work that I truly loved. I feel like that Ugetsu’s not going to be able to get himself another man if they really do break up for good in the future (I hope the same’s true with Akihiko) or it’ll take some time before he opens his heart up again in the least. We’re probably going to see him fall apart when he realizes that *sigh* Akihiko’s warming up to Haruki and that’ll probably prompt him to rethink his priorities (it may have already started don’t spoil me pls).

WHOO! I can’t believe I managed to sum the plot up into just a few paragraphs and gifs. AM I BLIND? Anyway, I’ve nothing much to say about the technicalities since they pretty much did a fantastic job and everything went by the manga (there weren’t really a lot of adlibs and cuts as with the previous volumes). The voice acting was great! Ya’ll should know by know how I’ve kept close tabs on Furukawa Makoto and Saitou Souma this year and I actually had forgotten how they sounded in Given because of how different their later works were from this but, I quickly adjusted. I had associated Mafuyu with Saitou Souma for the longest time but ever since I started watching Gaikotsu Shotenin Honda-san that changed. I was really worried about hearing Honda-san instead of Mafuyu but I’m glad to find that Mafuyu’s still the Mafuyu I knew. 😌 Hino Satoshi and Takumi Yasuaki have nothing else lined up prior to Given 4 except for the other Given CDs (Hino Satoshi will star as Keiichi-san in Motoyan Papa to Hitsuji-sensei which will be released on the 22nd of this month) so I’ve no trouble in recognizing their Given voices.

It just always needs to be a ride with you, Gusari. 😩 Thank god that I was alone at home because I was just so angry that I needed to pace around the house multiple times screaming and threatening my credit card to take me back to Japan just to look Gusari in the eye and ask: “WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?” and cry. Definitely give this a listen if you’re a fan of the series and pain. 👍 Oh and just know that I’m giving out tissues and pitchforks if anyone be needing them.

#blcd reviews #blcd 2018 reviews #given #kizu natsuki #gusari #crown works #furukawa makoto #saitou souma #hino satoshi #takumi yasuaki #murata taishi #hamano daiki

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