MY HEART IS MOURNING. I AM NOT OKAY. about to vent my feelings out. 

stranger things vol 2 spoilers ahead…

“I think it's my year, Henderson. ( struggling ) I think it's finally my year. I love you, man.”

eddie did not fucking deserve that ending. what was the purpose of killing him off like that? other than the duffer bros wanting to stick with their formula of killing off beloved characters they introduce in every season. like he didn’t need to redeem himself to die a hero like some sort of ‘heroic sacrifice”, he didn’t need a redemption arc. the man was GOOD-HEARTED from the get-go. as evident by his interaction with chrissy in the woods, his adoration and care to his club members of hellfire, he was a big bro to the hellfire kiddos, he just wanted to graduate and pass on his hellfire leadership to the kiddos, he went along to the upside down to help his friends, kill vecna, avenge chrissy and then clear his name. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID HIS DEATH SERVE?

AND THIS LINE BROKE ME! BROKE! HE RAN AWAY FROM PROBLEMS HIS WHOLE LIFE AND THE ONE TIME HE DIDN’T THE ONE TIME HE DESERVED TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIS BRAVERY, INSTEAD HE GOT AN UNTIMELY DEATH? FUCK THAT SHIT, YOU HEAR ME DUFFER BROS? FUCK THAT. HE LITERALLY SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR A CITY THAT HATED HIM.

the desperation and sadness from dustin, he was losing his big bro, I FELT HIS PAIN!

dustin breaking down after eddie becomes unresponsive— i cried, cried and cried. i don’t remember the last time cried this much tbh. (don’t get me started on that lucas and max scene, oh my heart! somebody sedate me!)

you know what angers me more? eddie didn’t even get a funeral. no one got his body from the upside down? i don’t get it. everybody seemed to move on quickly? the more i think about, the more it angers me. no one mourned for eddie except for dustin and his uncle wayne.

are they gonna bring him back like hopper? my gut says it’s final eddie is gone gone but my heart thinks it might be a s03 hopper situation. i’m clearly still in the denial stage. yeah, i am delusional. I JUST WANT EDDIE BACK.

it’s the way they get us attached to characters like alexei, bob and eddie just to kill them right after they are introduced and rip our hearts out. THIS IS NOT OKAY. THIS IS BULLSHIT.

vol 2 is such an emotional rollercoaster, jonathan being the emotional support overprotective big bro to will, max saying she is not ready to die and lucas cry-screaming for erica to call help, eddie dying, dustin crying and holding eddie till his last breath, dustin and uncle wayne mourning for eddie. yeah, what is pain.

in summary, I AM NOT OVER EDDIE’S UNTIMELY DEMISE. IF MAX IS ALIVE AFTER GETTING HER BONES BROKEN IN MULTIPLE PLACES AND HER HEART RESTARTED, EDDIE CAN SURVIVE FROM BEING MAULED BY DEMOBATS FOR FUCKS SAKE. I HAVE A TINY HOPE DURING THIS GRIEVING PERIOD. AND THAT HOPE SHALL SUSTAIN ME UNTILL MY HEART HEALS AND I COME BACK TO REALITY. p/s: joseph quinn did a beautiful job. he turned eddie into a beloved and an unforgettable character. not only good-looking and have the most beautiful big ol’ brown eyes, he is very very talented actor. hope he continues to flourish and get more acting gigs. i’m gonna go search and watch his other roles… that might help mend my heart me thinks.

Shout out to that time in the preboot universe, when Lilith showed up to Donna’s wedding to the red-headed man she’d once prophesied Donna would marry and who would die horribly and thus is the reason Donna broke up with Roy originally, thinking the prophecy was about him, (its a long story, just go with it).....

.....and so then here’s Lilith just popping up at the Wedding of Doom she forewarned against, after being out of touch for ages, but she’s flying solo with no plus one and thus no sign of her caveman boyfriend Gnaark (its a long story, just go with it) and when all the other Titans were like hey wtf where’s Gnaark she was just like oh something terrible happened there but I don’t want to get into it now, its a wedding, cheers, because Lilith just does that, when she’s done talking she’s done talking lmao.....

....and then this winged angel named Azrael started popping up all the time and the other Titans are like wtf Lilith, is this dude stalking you, and she just casually waves them off and is like oh yeah, he’s been doing that for ages, he wants me to be his ‘mate’ or whatever, its this whole thing. Don’t worry about it though, its no big deal.’ Because again, Lilith’s just like that.

And then when Azrael keeps showing up Lilith starts glowing every time he’s near and turning into a combustion engine about to blow, and her teammates are like Lil, once again we are just here begging you to call this a big deal, this dude seems to be turning you into a human glowstick, but Lilith is just like omg stop being so dramatic, that has nothing to do with him even, I’ve been having those little ‘heat attacks’ for like years, and the Titans are like WTF LIL, WHY DID YOU NOT MENTION THIS BEFORE, and she’s just like ‘I forgot to okay, god, get off my ass already’ and she stormed off and dramatically quit the team with a huff and a “AND IM NEVER COMING BACK except for when I totally will cuz I already foresee this apocalypse we’re gonna have to prevent in like two years, so nobody take my room okay, thanks bye, and NO DICK, I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE UPCOMING APOCALYPSE JEEZ I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT RIGHT NOW, I’LL GET TO IT WHEN I GET TO IT'’.....because I mean....Lilith. *shrugs*

And then she came back and joined the team during the Terror of Trigon storyline and she was all dramatic and prophesizing left and right except lol it wasn’t really Lil as she was possessed by a bajillion Azarath spirits who were like, hey we’re gonna hijack you to cleanse Raven of evil, sorry not sorry, but don’t worry, we’ll tidy up after ourselves before we leave’....

And then she got depossessed and Azrael starting popping up again and she starting doing her human glowstick thing again except this time with actual fire actually burning shit all around her, and Lilith’s like “okay, fine, I’m willing to concede now that this MIGHT be an issue,” and everyone’s like GEE YOU THINK???

And her ‘heat attacks’ were now big and noticeable enough that they eventually got the attention of Lilith’s birth mother, cuz Lilith had been adopted and found that out and started searching for her birth parents and answers about her powers and where she came from when she was like, thirteen (its a long story, just go with it), and so Lilith’s flame on moments finally caught her birth mother’s attention and she showed up and was like surprise, oh hey and also I’m the Greek Titan of the sun, who escaped from Tartarus awhile back and came up with this whole plan to get back at Zeus and the rest of those turds by making a secret weapon baby - that’s you hon, so proud of you - and yeah your dad was just this rich dude who had a company I wanted to take over, I just kinda incinerated him once I had you and didn’t need him anymore, sorry but its not a big loss he was kinda dull, you wouldn’t have liked him anyway, but also, then this random nurse kidnapped you and derailed my master plan of using a toddler Titan to topple the Olympians, but now I’ve found you and we can get right back to that, and that’s what you missed on Glee!’

Cue the rest of the Titans being like......ummm, we have some questions and also some concerns, but Lilith’s just like huh, so what you’re saying is I’m a divine celestial being? Huh, yeah that tracks. Okay, I believe you! But also I don’t like your plan and I think you kinda suck so I’m gonna like....not do that and instead help the gods defeat you again sorry not sorry but I mean yeah, I’m just not feeling it here, I don’t think this mother/daughter thing is gonna work out on account of the you sucking part.

So then that happened and then Zeus was like, hey we’re down a demigod, how would you like to be a goddess? And Lilith’s like yeah, that sounds good, I’m not busy right now. And the rest of the Titans are like umm, Lilith? The team? We do occasionally save the world and protect people and stuff? And she’s just like oh relax, you’ll be fine without me and I’ll be back in time to help out with that alien invasion in a couple years....and Dick’s like wait what, but Lilith’s already gone and getting her demigoddess on. Because, y’know. Its Lilith. She has her priorities figured out.

And then post-Crisis she eventually rejoins the team as the masked and mysterious figure Omen, who wouldn’t reveal her secret identity, because like, she’s Lilith, and she decided hey I’m just not gonna let the team know that its me and just like, idk see what happens. No particular reason.

Except then she’s abducted by this villain named Haze and she has to use her powers to summon the original Titans to free her, at which point her identity is revealed and she’s like yeah, surprise, it was me the whole time, and the Fab Five are all like WHAT THE HELL LILITH, and she’s like WHAT, I WAS BORED, LET ME HAVE HOBBIES.....and also at this time she and the Titans found out oh btw, turns out that whole backstory about you being the daughter of that Titan was a lie, we’re not really sure how that works but just FYI, you’re actually just the illegitimate daughter of this super rich tycoon, and also FYI, Haze is actually your half brother who hates you because of something to do with the dad you didn’t even know existed, soooooo....that’s a thing....

And then she goes back to the Titans for awhile, still as Omen but with everyone now knowing its her under the cloak and mask, the jig is up, Lilith’s like ugh, lame, now what am I supposed to do for fun. But then it also turned out that for some reason that was never actually made clear, now she also had telekinetic and illusion casting powers and she was like ooooh now these I can have fun with. Coincidentally, like, half the team decided now would be a good time to take a sabbatical and focus on their own cities.

And THEN she was kidnapped by Vandal Savage, who wanted to make her use her powers to divine the perfect lineup of bad guys to take down the Titans once and for all, and Lilith’s like ‘well shit, you got me, guess I gotta do what you want,’ except of course she purposely chooses villains she foresees the Titans beating, which they do of course, and then they beat Savage, and Lilith is just like, dude, I know I’m the only precog here, but how did you not see this coming, like seriously, what on earth made you think there was gonna be any other way this was gonna go? OMG you’re so stupid, what happened to all the smart villains, ugh even being kidnapped is boring now, lame.

And then she died, and like, never actually came back except as a spirit in one story and a Black Lantern in that Blackest Night event, and that sucked. But oh well.

Anyway, the point is I miss THAT Lilith, the unpredictable, whimsical, always dragging chaos in her wake and not giving a shit because look its not her fault Destiny is like totally obsessed with her....

She was just a guaranteed source of WTF and she did it all with unnecessary flair and drama and she was one hundred percent a primary reason Dick Grayson was destined to have gray hairs by the time he was thirty, but oh well, that was just the price of being friends and teammates with her, because Lilith was just...*sighs* she was just so Lilith.

That’s really the only way to sum her up. A dozen writers took her in a dozen different directions cuz they couldn’t decide what to do with her so she ended up doing everything and being extremely extra about it which really tied it all together and just made it a universal truth that when it comes to Lilith, don’t just expect the unexpected, like....just accept that with her anything is possible and plausible and the most random shit will end up connected to her and you just gotta roll with it, because that’s just how it goes with her.