#i am an adult with a job i don't do that shit
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ichihime is my otp but i wish kubo did more to show ichigo developing feelings as the manga progressed
that's reasonable, but i can't necessarily claim to understand it, mainly because of how i perceive romance IRL and in fiction as an aroace person.
i'm not even going to pretend to understand romantic love in real life, but in fiction at least, romance has a purpose because everything in fiction is purposeful, no choice is accidental etc etc. mainstream media, in that regard, has usually pushed the idea that romance is the pinnacle of all human relationships, and i guess the reason i liked bleach or found it particularly subversive for the year it was written in was because it notably...didn't do that.
there is romance in bleach, but it is not the highlight or focus, and is only supplementary. adding that to the fact that this is a typically romance-averse genre, i doubt kubo ever intended to display romance in a way we're conventionally used to seeing it—confessions, kisses, hugs, proposals, dates, etc. even with married couples like isshin and masaki/kaien and miyako/byakuya and hisana, we don't really see the actual marriages—just the important "milestones" of the relationship (how they met, the sacrifices they might have made for each other, and even then, these relationships are used to drive the plot forward). i've been reading kubo's answers on klub outside lately, and they're very illuminating in terms of how he approaches romance and/or writing in general. see: the answer where he talks about how he considered including a scene where isshin and masaki (mainly masaki) name ichigo together, but eventually decided against writing it because it would be "too lovey dovey and that's gross" (lol).
the bizarre thing about kubo, though, is that this should technically make him extremely bad at romance in general. and i know people who would and do argue that he is, but i personally enjoyed all the canon romances over the course of the story, and i could feel the passion/tenderness/affection that the couples in the story have for each other, simply because kubo is good at body language and portraying relationships of ALL kinds between the characters. whether it's the love between nakama and nakama, parent and child, student and mentor, you do feel that these characters really feel for each other, so the romances aren't any different (to me).
and this is a pattern with kubo's writing in general! he constantly see-saws between extremely bizarre and bad takes on writing (AKA his boob fixation that shows up repeatedly both in the series and in his answers on klub when asked about female characters) and surprisingly good ones (like him saying writers often complain that female characters are hard to draw/write because they can't understand women's feelings, but women's feelings, like men's feelings, are difficult because feelings are difficult in general. very apt for a series that's all about people dealing with their own complicated feelings and relationships! i know it isn't radical or revolutionary to say women and men both have the same feelings and that writing a Female Character isn't any different from writing a male character, but considering his contemporaries (shonen male mangakas aged 40+), he is practically Enlightened in his response here lmao.
my point is that, reluctant as he is, he doesn't do a bad job with romance as a whole. compared to many ships and marriages in the same genre bracket, i would say ichihime is doing far better. even though it's the notorious girl-has-a-crush-on-the-boy trope, you don't ever feel like orihime gets too punished for it the way a lot of girls do in this genre, just giving and giving and giving but receiving very little in turn. ichigo is generally very attentive to her, they're friends who only get closer over the course of the series, they're...friends (which is funnily a lot more than a lot of other couples get sadly), they have a variety of fluffy/angsty/silly/hurt-comfort-y scenes spread out pretty evenly across all arcs, and ichigo does often return orihime's care for him in his own, magnanimous way.
if we're looking for explicit signs, then i guess we don't really get ichigo spelling out that he has a crush on her. and if that makes ichihime less plausible or likeable to people, that's fine. but to me, ichihime has always been about subtlety, about this tentative, nervous way two people might reach out to each other, hoping the other understands them. ichigo softens up around orihime, and i joke that he's always got one ear on her because of the way he pays attention to even the slightest changes in her mood. i don't want to spend too much time "proving" what ichigo feels or doesn't feel because that's a journey we get to take and interpret as individual readers, but we can't deny that their relationship is very tender because of...ichigo and not orihime. orihime is soft with everyone. ichigo is, usually, 90% of the time, prickly with everyone. so him softening up around her, to me, was one of the many things about their dynamic that "proved" to me they'd be a good romance. just. the way ichigo was around her. also, between plot-important developments (like ichigo and orihime going from struggling to stand on the battlefield together, to fighting, however briefly, as partners; or ichigo learning to lean on the people in his life), and feelings stuff (maybe ichigo reflecting on his romantic feelings for orihime), i would definitely prefer to get the former and interpret the latter. it was important to me to know how exactly ichigo and orihime were going to navigate the fact that ichigo was too overprotective and orihime was too weak, but it wasn't important to me to see them dating or proposing or whatever. it would have clashed rather horribly with the narrative/thematic/genre concerns of the series as a whole, cute as it might have been to see, and i might not have ever been as hard of an ichihime shipper as i am now if the series ended after lust, and not after horn of salvation. the development of their dynamic (and orihime getting the recognition she deserves from him as an equal) was more important to me personally. most of the times, when i'm writing fic, i draw from the actual manga panels of them before they were dating anyway, so i don't think they'd be too different AFTER.
LASTLY, i do want to point out that ichigo catching feelings for orihime later does not at all diminish the weight of those feelings. maybe he had a mild crush in the soul society arc (if that's how you want to interpret it), or maybe he developed one later on during the HM arc/FB arc, but maybe he didn't realize he could have crushes at all until after yhwach was gone and he got to have more than a few weeks of peace at a stretch. this is the same boy who, at 15, thought kissing a classmate was a "big deal" and none of his friends were ever dating either, so it completely makes sense to me that these things weren't on his mind. it doesn't diminish orihime's importance to him, or his feelings for her, it just makes him a typical teenager who is going through...a lot in the already-turbulent stages of growing up. his feelings could just be a thing in the background, simmering, unconscious, not really evident until he grows up and starts thinking about things like who he likes spending time with, who he might want to spend his life with. the important thing is that we get all the build-up laid down (which we did get, considering how long the ichihime subplot is). the resolution is up to us!
that's not to say i'm diminishing your feelings or whatever, but this is just how i see it! i never understand when people say something is romantic "enough" because i think romance is an elusive concept that is defined based on extremely personal criteria for proof. is ichigo's love for orihime "enough"? i don't know! for me, the various moments between ichigo and orihime were enough to solidify their potential romantic relationship in my head. someone else might need to see it to believe it. we're both valid, as long as we're just enjoying ourselves and not being mean to someone else who perceives things differently! :D
#me: *types all this up*#also me: ichihime is the greatest thing ever#all ships are great ships if i ship them etc etc#ichihime#asks#if you're reblogging this please be normal and do NOT start ship disk horse in the tags...b..lease...i beg#i am an adult with a job i don't do that shit
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#I'm literally never going to own a home of my own#I'm going to live and die in the same house as my parents and I'm never going to have my own space to call my own#to make my own or to spread out and have my own space#People wonder why I don't feel like a fucking adult#and I can tell them plain as day that it's because I live at home with no job and all I do all day is draw read and look at fucking#fictional shit all day#sure I work on the property but so fucking what#I'm still just wasting away at home with no life no friends nothing to do#I dont want to volunteer anywhere because it's only hard labor shit and I cant physically do those things#and the only other volunteer shit around me is church stuff and I will NOT be helping any churches anywhere fucking ever for anyone#idk#I try to meet people and I have nothing to talk about#everyone else seems to be having their own lives with shit going on and multiple social circles and here I am unable to even string togethe#more than two sentences because it usually only takes that long to get to “so what do you do?” and I have to figure out a way to explain#that I'm living at home with no job no friends and no life in a way that doesn't look fucking pathetic as fuck#I'm not well educated so I just fall behind in most conversation#I can't contribute so whats the fucking point#The only people I have to talk to are my parents because what else am I gonna do? I can't keep complaining to you guys all the time#not like it's going to change anything#if anything it will just make people avoid me more for always being a fucking downer all the time#my parents vaguely get my frustration but they can't do anything#not like we have money or connections of any kind so there's no 'setting me up' with other people my age#honestly I just wish the fucking internet would go away#maybe then more people would get out of their houses and go outside and meet people#idk i'm just fucking done with everything#I'm so numb and so tired and so lonely and I don't know what it is I want because every time I meet someone knew it's like I can't get clos#I don't feel ready for a relationship but I also feel like I'm fucking wasting away alone by myself and I really crave closeness#but I'm also not a dating person#I'm not here to waste another 5 years to someone just fucking around#i want a life time relationship
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#rant time#trying to figure myself out but this shit fucking impossible#only recetly i realised that half of my problems is probably undiagnosed adhd#but something tells me it may be asd and adhd together#although adhd traits are much more prominent in my case and looking at asd diagnostic criteria they don't fully apply but AGAIN#it looks to me more like they don't apply because adhd things come in way? like the typical spontaniety fucking question yeah#ughh i wish there was more audhd proper info because i'm going crazy trying to put this all together#i am planning to get adhd diagnosis as soon as i gather money and i could possibly try to get asd too but#a. good fucking luck getting a proper asd diagnosis as an adult trans dude in PL lmao#b. good fucking luck trying to find a place that does crossdiagnosis#well i'll try anyway but until i get a job i'm like. stuck with it in my own head#and as far as i feel like i probably won't get anywherw further with figuring this out on my own i can't. Fucking. Stop. Thinking about it.#my brain decided this is a Main Theme TM now and will make me do the research until we get sure that's It ot that's Not It#i... i'm tired.#not even gonna tag this as personal post because i just wanted to scream into the void thb
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So I downloaded Project Sekai and. What kinda gay shit right off the bat (affectionate)
#venlapost#project sekai#prsk#do people shorten it that way? i somehow did it instinctively#so I'm probably gonna use it for reblogs. if there will be any#feel free to ask for my player id! if that's how you friend people?#idk man I'm just figuring it out#i toggled the note speed up and then COMPLETELY botched my shit on bandori afterwards forgetting its slower ripp#i don't remember the characters names yet I'll probably come back to tag them later. it's way past my curfew#i am a responsible adult with a day job. i stay up too late playing rhythm games#i didn't know miku was going to be. THAT important#anhane#akitoya#akito shinonome#an shiraishi
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parents willl yell at you and theyre right but could we not have had this conversation 5 hours ago when you got home instead of at 1am waking me up to scream. i understand i have nowhere to be so i'm worthless but girl you literally have work in 4 hours stop screaming for once and just fucking go back to bed
#also . she always gets up to do the dishes but cause it's one am and she literally wakes up to immediately march over there.#no glasses no contacts finger tips burnt past sensation. she does a absolutely shit job and half of this shit i dry scrub to get the stuff#you're wasting both of our times to tell me i'm a failure of a human who should kill himself in like. a hundred times the words#this could have been a email. at least then the aggressive comes cold and easy instead of in five different metaphors#really sucks when you're mentally ill in the “if i don't stop the screaming i'll fucking die” way and shes#“i need to kill everyone around me but the only way to vent is my at my son”#because everyone younger than 30 is a child who's opinion will never matter <- verbatim:/#anyone 45-60 is a “real” adult but if she doesn't like them theyre useless and anyone older is too old to be worth talking too#she just fucking hates people
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it pains me how much i truly hate the family i was born into. 😔
#*and this is icarly!#*personal#my father is an alcoholic verbally and physically abusive pos#my mom is racist and homopobic and refuses to believe i am bi#i have two older brothers who act like a couple of inbred monkeys and continue to bully me like they always have even though we are adults#i hate that i have no way of escaping them right now cause i don't have a job or enough money saved up to get my own place#honestly plan on cutting all ties with them once i do though cause i just can't handle this shit#it's severly messing with my mentality and i fear i'll never be 100% happy without them#sorry i'm in a mood and i just had to get this out#*bpd tag
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seriously, though. i work in higher education, and part of my job is students sending me transcripts. you'd think the ones who have the least idea how to actually do that would be the older ones, and while sure, they definitely struggle with it, i see it most with the younger students. the teens to early 20s crowd.
very, astonishingly often, they don't know how to work with .pdf documents. i get garbage phone screenshots, sometimes inserted into an excel or word file for who knows what reason, but most often it's just a raw .jpg or other image file.
they definitely either don't know how to use a scanner, don't have access to one, or don't even know where they might go for that (staples and other office supply stores sometimes still have these services, but public libraries always have your back, kids.) so when they have a paper transcript and need to send me a copy electronically, it's just terrible photos at bad angles full of thumbs and text-obscuring shadows.
mind bogglingly frequently, i get cell phone photos of computer screens. they don't know how to take a screenshot on a computer. they don't know the function of the Print Screen button on the keyboard. they don't know how to right click a web page, hit "print", and choose "save as PDF" to produce a full and unbroken capture of the entirety of a webpage.
sometimes they'll just copy the text of a transcript and paste it right into the message of an email. that's if they figure out the difference between the body text portion of the email and the subject line, because quite frankly they often don't.
these are people who in most cases have done at least some college work already, but they have absolutely no clue how to utilize the attachment function in an email, and for some reason they don't consider they could google very quickly for instructions or even videos.
i am not taking a shit on gen z/gen alpha here, i'm really not.
what i am is aghast that they've been so massively failed on so many levels. the education system assumed they were "native" to technology and needed to be taught nothing. their parents assumed the same, or assumed the schools would teach them, or don't know how themselves and are too intimidated to figure it out and teach their kids these skills at home.
they spend hours a day on instagram and tiktok and youtube and etc, so they surely know (this is ridiculous to assume!!!) how to draft a formal email and format the text and what part goes where and what all those damn little symbols means, right? SURELY they're already familiar with every file type under the sun and know how to make use of whatever's salient in a pinch, right???
THEY MUST CERTAINLY know, innately, as one knows how to inhale, how to type in business formatting and formal communication style, how to present themselves in a way that gets them taken seriously by formal institutions, how to appear and be competent in basic/standard digital skills. SURELY. Of course. RIGHT!!!!
it's MADDENING, it's insane, and it's frustrating from the receiving end, but even more frustrating knowing they're stumbling blind out there in the digital spaces of grown-up matters, being dismissed, being considered less intelligent, being talked down to, because every adult and system responsible for them just
ASSUMED they should "just know" or "just figure out" these important things no one ever bothered to teach them, or half the time even introduce the concepts of before asking them to do it, on the spot, with high educational or professional stakes.
kids shouldn't have to supplement their own education like this and get sneered and scoffed at if they don't.
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went to bed early and woke up before 8am today! pretty cool. except I woke up with a bad headache and eventually had a very long nap.
I'm just so damn tired! like, no matter how much or how well or when I sleep, I'm still tired all day. so it's just pointless trying to fix my sleep schedule (when I'll just be asleep most of the day anyway).
#and also.#my mother in law just very sternly told us to fold our clothes after washing them#for some reason she just. started washing our clothes when we got here. no one asked her to. she didn't ask us. just did it#and then acts like it's such a burden. yes and no one asked you to do it 🤔#anyway no I will not be folding my damn clothes because they are going right back in an ikea bag because there is nowhere else to put them#we have one tiny wardrobe in 'our' room and there's lots of things that have to go in there so that the cats don't eat/destroy them#and. I am so fucking tired all the time no folding my clothes (to put them right back in a bag) is not a priority right now#guess what? our clothes usually stay in a laundry basket until we wear them (bc I don't have the energy and my husband just doesn't care 🤷)#it's not an issue. we are adults. we don't wear fancy shit that would look awful and wrinkly. our t-shirts will be fine.#I don't know man. it's only been a week and I already feel like peeling off my skin because of how she is#genuinely I cannot handle being treated like this. I couldn't handle it when I was an actual child and I sure as fuck can't handle it now#I don't know why I thought this would be fine. why did I let him convince me that she'd be different this time.#I know it's no big deal! she's just so judgmental and mean about everything. like the most inconsequential shit#like - last week on the day my husband worked from home he took a few breaks. as he normally does. obviously.#and she kept telling him to go back to work??? what the hell man he's a fully grown adult who has been working for years and at this#particular job for over a year. HE knows when he can take a fucking break.#like. she's never joking. she never says something casually. it's always serious and judgmental and negative.#I feel like I'm suffocating#anyway. only 49 days left. I can do it. I can get through this (knowing that I won't have to see her/them more than a few times a year afte#we move)#(I feel like an ungrateful piece of shit bc it IS very kind and generous that they are letting us live here for free for two months. and I#am grateful! but it's just not good for me mentally. that's all I'm saying. the problem is me.)#personal
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im
so upset
#my mum is more stressed than i am about me getting a job#'most other parents would have told you to get out and get a job' well they shouldnt!!#i am 22 i am a baby!!#i am a 4 year old adult!!#'we want to help we want you to talk to us'#you didnt help me when i was bullied! or when i was being abused!#or when i was isolated from everyone and everything i knew!#basically i dont trust you not to judge me or tell me im wrong or actually help me#i am struggling and im tired and i had a shit time at uni and i don't know how to live outside a structured environment#doing two courses isnt enough i should be doing another course or have a job or be doing an apprenticeship#apparently#fucking hell leave me alone
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hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator
i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.
this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.
i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:
DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE
hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.
and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.
you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.
okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.
YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS
good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.
porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!
as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.
while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!
to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!
YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY
hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.
god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!
this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).
okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!
also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.
abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.
I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT
kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.
please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.
as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.
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Oliver freaking tf out when im crying as we talk is an favorite thing
#miranda talking shit#'what the fuck miranda what did i say? Why are you crying? What happened?' one would think he'd have learned by now#But nope... Still have to stop everything and ask. Buddy my dude... This is how i am... Idk what to tell you#My tears start coming before i even have time to think sometimes. They just ... Come i cant identify why half the time#We talked about ambitions and shit again and thats always an hard one for me bc... My only dream/ambition#Is to... Be comfortable with myself and accept myself plus share life with someone#I don't have a dream job or something... I just ... Wish to do something i wont dread and hate#Meanwhile hes like bro...i wanna be rich lol. And hes trying to challenge me and im like... Dude...#And i know i still have it so ingrained in me to do everything everyone else wants of me... Im trying to be my own self#But like... How do you undo 20 years of always filling others wants and needs? I have come up with this dream just a few years ago#Genuinely before that i had nothing. I know im weak and pathetic and not my own person but im trying to be but its not easy#Its why i dont ever feel ill be good enough to date anyone. Bc i dont have grand ambitions and I'd never be able to give someone#An good life in that way. I just want to live and share boring normal things with someone who loves me and if they have an ambition id help#Support them. But it's ... Pathetic and probably very unhealthy but thats what i genuinely think i want. A gentle life and love#I am always told im so passive and not strong willed enough and its like yoo i know! Bc i started to develop my personality to be#As passive and adjustable since i was 4 so i would be less in danger and then i just kept it up until i became an adult...#'youre such a deep (feeling) person. Its sad you dont WANT more' yeah i know... Tryst me i wish i was more solid in my opinions and thought#But thats probably gonna take me many years...#Negative#????
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Star Wars wank is always there to violently remind me why I'm so tired of Star Wars.
#in the spirit of that one ship discourse meme#I'm neither pro or anti jedi I'm an adult with a job#i know i post pretty jedi critical stuff sometimes but that's cause the jedi keep doing shit#like killing their own padawans and then framing another padawan for it#what am i supposed to do? not roast lucien?#anyway very terrible to be hyperfixated on something when everyone is always bickering annoyingly#0/10 don't recommend#griffin rants
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christmas in monaco - cl16 [2]
Trying to even bring up boys with Max ends up in a fight. You and Charles have a heart-to-heart. Daniel and Carlos help you devise a plan.
warnings/notes: comparing Max to Jos during the fight, mentions of shit parents, one (1) jab at Kelly, the chapter is serious and then Daniel shows up and that goes to shit, the last bit of set up before i go full scooby-do search party through the doors on you guys
verstappen!reader x charles leclerc, secret dating/brothers best friend
prev | next
-
You know you're in for it when you open the door to Max's apartment, groceries tucked lazily in one arm and coffees in the other and he's staring at you.
"What?" You ask as if you have no idea what he wants. You can see Penelope laying on the floor, coloring while some cartoon you've never heard of plays, and thus immediately switch to Dutch.
"[Why do you look like you're mad at me?]" You say, walking over to where he sits on the kitchen island, plopping down the groceries, and handing him the coffee you'd bought. Kelly's off doing god knows what today, leaving the two of you to watch Penelope before you return to your apartment next door.
"[Who is he?]" Max asks, taking the coffee with a nod of a thank you as he helps you organize the groceries. You knew posting that picture would cause this conversation, you and Charles had spoken about easing Max into the fact you were dating at all, and maybe it wasn't the best idea. Max had been fiercely protective over you since you were kids, you don't know why you assumed he'd stop now that you were adults.
"[I haven't told anyone yet. We're keeping it hush.] Okay?" You speak softly, setting down some things for dinner. Simple pasta, since Penelope had picked that over pizza--as long as you made her meatballs as well. You pluck the ingredients from the mess of other groceries, making sure you have everything as Max leans back in his seat.
"[Oh, so I'm just anyone now?]" Max lifts his hands in agitation, the same accusatory tone of your father's ringing in Max's voice. You swallow your vitriol, crossing your arms taught over Charles' hoodie you wear as you cross the room, then you tug up the red sleeves of the hoodie as you set down the ingredients for dinner by the stove.
"[Max, come on.]" You urge, hoping he'll drop it. But he's as stubborn as your father and as impatient as him too.
"[No, I feel like I have a right to be upset over this, how long have you two been seeing each other?]" His pointed glare at you as you whisk out a pan from under the stove makes your skin burn hot. You pause, mouth opening and closing as you slowly slide the pot onto the stove. If you say two years, does that link you to Charles too quickly? But if you lie, will Max see right through you? And you can't dodge the question, not here, not now.
"A couple months." You say. Yeah, twenty-four of them, then you scoff when Max makes a face, "[Stop acting like a child.]"
"[And how come Danny knows?]"
"[He found out on accident, and honestly I remember now why I didn't wanna tell you.]" You huff, filling the pot with water and clicking the burner on. You tie your hair up lazily, looking over at Max as your crack-open fridge next to the stove and then turn to grab the ingredients to make the sauce, "[you're treating me like a toddler.]"
"[You're my baby sister, I feel like I am kinda... obligated, to be concerned?]" Max's voice is sharp as you start to whip up the same sauce you've been making since you were fourteen. Max stands up and crosses the room to stand next to you, "[And I'm not treating you like a toddler. It's my job to protect you as your brother.]"
"[I'm a year younger than you! I'm not a baby, you just don't trust me, which is fucking stupid because I'm not the one dating a woman almost a decade older than me!]" You huff as you turn to Max, who tries to stammer some defense to his situation but you don't give him a chance to, "[and I don't know why you think I can't date drivers, by the way, you trust those guys with your life but not my heart?]"
"[Those guys are cheaters, I don't want you hurt.]" Max runs a hand through his hair, watching as you continue making the sauce. You can tell, just by his eyes, that he's thinking of the times you used to make him pasta after races growing up. You try to not think about the past.
"Who?" You ask, looking at the sauce and burning the red color into your retinas, mentally praying that he's not catching onto you.
"Lando, probably." Max huffs, stepping back, "Charles."
"Charles?" You hum, hating that you come to his defense immediately and not Lando's, "[The guy who just announced the girl he's been dating for two years?]"
"[He's done some interesting things.]" Max says in his defense and you can't help but laugh. You knew before Charles met you he had been a bit of a womanizer, or 'man-whore' as your friends so kindly said. But with you, it was like Charles was a brand new person.
"[You're so overdramatic.]" You deadpan, turning to add the noodles to the sauce and Max scoffs.
"[I'm trying to protect you so you don't end up with someone like Dad!]"
"[You haven't even met my boyfriend yet and you're assuming the worst! Why are you being such a dick, Max!?]" You slam the spoon down and then flinch, remembering Penelope is in the other room the second you do it. It takes a few seconds, and then her little head peeks around the doorway.
"Are you fighting?" She asks sweetly and you shake your head.
"No, Penny, it's fine." You try to smile at her, but Max seems to have taken another level of offense to everything.
"Y/n. [Go fuck off to your mystery boy, why don't you?]" Max takes the spoon off the counter. His cold shoulder isn't something new, but it's the way he says it, sounding like the harsh whispers your father would pass at you in public, makes you swallow hard. You walk across the room, grabbing your purse and car keys off the table before kneeling down in front of Penelope and kissing her hairline.
"I'll see you tomorrow, okay honey? Sorry if I scared you when I slammed the spoon down." You squeeze her in a tight hug, closing your eyes as you feel Max's eyes burn into the back of your head.
"Okay, Tante Y/n." She smiles, throwing her tiny arms around you, "And it's okay, I thought you dropped it."
You step back, kissing her hairline again, before getting up and leaving the apartment in a breeze, coffee forgotten. Your hands fumble with your phone, finding Charles' contact and sending him a quick message as you try and calm your anger.
--
You have a spare key, and as you jiggle your phone and keys in your hands to find it, the door swings open and two arms wrap around you. Laughing softly, you bury your face into the fabric of Charles' sweater and sigh heavily. He's warm, smelling of the usual cedar cologne you'd bought for him a while back. He also smells weakly like his hair products and if you try to search for it, your perfume lingers on his neck.
"Hi, amour." You murmur into the fabric and he bends at the knee enough to scoop you up to carry you the few inches inside before popping you back on your feet as he uses one hand to push the door shut.
"Hi." He says back, stepping back and squishing your cheeks in his hands and peppers soft kisses to your hairline, "Sorry about Max."
"It's fine. He's just being overprotective again." You kick off your shoes and follow Charles to the living room, flopping down on his couch and burying your head in your hands.
"You know if..." Charles sighs, hand coming through his hair and then pausing as he scratches at his neck, "If it's gonna be easier for you, I can try and talk to him?"
"No... I should tell him, he's my brother. I just don't think now is a good time?" You say as Charles pops down next to you on the couch and you shift so you can lay his head in your lap as you kick your feet onto the coffee table to rest, "he just seems so... agitated."
"Because you're dating?"
"He's afraid I'm gonna end up with someone like Dad. That's the problem. He doesn't trust anyone with me and gives them no chances. He thought Jolie was a drug dealer for like, six months!"
"She's a teacher?" Charles turns to you and you can't help but just laugh because that's Max.
"I know!" You huff.
Silence lulls for a while, and then Charles sits up and grabs you to unceremoniously pull you against his chest as he lays you both down on the couch. your face squishes against his hands as he peppers soft kisses to your hairline, the apples of your cheeks, and your nose, before pressing one long kiss to your lips. Pulling back just enough to murmur,
"I wanna spend Christmas with you, properly, this year." He says against your lips, your eyes fluttering before he presses his thumb to your pulse to draw you back enough to make eye contact, "I want to be able to post you, to talk about you with everyone because you're so fucking amazing, and I wanna meet your siblings and your mom and go on holidays with you guys and have our moms meet because Maman and Arthur both adore you and..."
Charles drawls off for a moment, hands coming up to cup your face as he thumbs along the warm, delicate skin of your cheeks, "I want, one day, to be able to get down on one knee and give you my whole heart."
Your pulse rams under his touch, cheeks dusted red, eyes wide but happily smiling as he leans in to lock in a long kiss, then he peppers some pecks on the corners of your mouth.
"The problem is, I can't do anything without Max knowing about us. Two years of us dating without telling him is already bad enough and he's been in my life since we were kids--even if we absolutely hated each other at first." Charles sighs, pressing a final quick kiss to your lips before letting you rest your head on his chest, "I feel terrible he doesn't know."
"But you know what he said." You sigh, closing your eyes against the warm fabric of his sweater--the grey one you'd bought for him a while back.
"I know, but we're either going to tell Max, or Max will find out." Charles sighs, "I prefer the first if I'm honest."
Even as you nod in agreement, you feel sick. The bubble of you and Charles had been safe for so long, that you weren't sure if you wanted to let Max in. But he was your brother, a year and fifteen days older, and you had told him everything up to this point. You'd be lying if you said you didn't also feel like shit for keeping Max out of the loop, but yet you feel like you have to.
"How'd Daniel find out?" Charles asks after a moment and he looks at you with those big eyes that make your heart thrum under your skin, love, and adoration seep from him and you don't understand at that moment how he could've ever been a womanizer when he looks at you like you hung the moon and stars just for him.
And then a small smirk peeks across his lips, "Because I know how Carlos did--"
"That one was your fault, Leclerc." You poke his chest, "Not locking the driver's room door was stupid."
"It was! But we're lucky it was Carlos."
"We're lucky we were only kissing."
"[We could've done more.]" He teases, making sure to really ramp up his accent as he speaks French so it's a bit harder for you to follow along, but you get the gist and whack his chest.
"Daniel saw me leaving, he was in the area doing media stuff." You explain, "I guess he saw me leaving."
"Oh, I thought it was because he moved in downstairs last week." Charles hums and you snap your eyes open and exclaim--
"What?!"
"Mhm. And Carlos lives in this building too." Charles looks over at you from where his eyes had been burning a hole in the ceiling, "Mon chéri, a lot of the drivers live in Monaco."
"I'm gonna lose it." You grumble, then pause, sitting up so you're hovering over Charles, one of his hands slides to support your waist immediately so you don't slide off.
"Carlos and Danny know." You say.
"Mhm."
"And... Carlos is your best friend--"
"--Arguably--"
"--and Danny is arguably Max's best friend, behind you."
"Uh-huh."
"...What if we ask them for help?"
"Absolutely not am I asking those two," Charles says and you huff.
"Come on! We clearly can't do it ourselves!" You exclaim, bouncing yourself on him with your arms, making him grunt as your body weight hits him.
"Daniel will tell us to do some sort of skit and Carlos will say for us to just say it!" Charles grips your waist and pulls you closer, "I don't need their shit advice."
"Maybe we need their guidance, and I promise it won't be bad! I promise! We can invite them over, have some wine and dinner, and voice our concerns--maybe they know something about Max we don't! Maybe they'll know he won't be mad or something."
"Y/n." He sighs, tilting his head back and closing his eyes.
"Charles!" You whine, "Look, if they give us shit advice, we kick them out and go back to the drawing board."
"Fine. But I'm holding you to this."
--
"I'm going to kick Danny out in about five seconds." You hiss to Charles and he laughs.
"Dude!" Danny shouts from where he sits on the floor, "I'm just saying, Max likes Charles. We all see it!"
"Believe me." Carlos hums into his wine, "There's a reason that... what is it... Lestappen shit is so popular. He's not gonna be mad its Charles. If it was like... me? Probably. Charles and Daniel are probably the only two drives you could date."
"And Yuki." Charles hums, "I don't think Yuki could do wrong."
"He might stab someone with the chef's knives he got for Secret Santa." Daniel points out and you snort.
"But you seriously have nothing to worry about." Carlos nods, "Honestly, you both are so stressed about it, I don't think either of you can think clearly."
You huff, "I feel like I can be stressed though. Max will either be fine with it or hate me forever."
"No, not forever, étoile." Charles hums, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as he draws you close.
"I don't think Max can physically hate you. I think he'd explode." Daniel hums, "Remember when you were sick and he thought you were ignoring him but you just literally couldn't hear out of one ear and he almost had a crisis?"
"You remember that?" You blink at Daniel. That had been only shortly after you'd met Daniel, the first race of that season. You were so delirious you couldn't remember most of the weekend, but you remember Christian and Daniel holding that over Max's head for weeks after.
"I do because he almost lost his mind for like four hours thinking you were mad at him and ignoring him. And then you rolled over and woke up from your nap." Daniel finishes the unceremonious story and Charles and Carlos burst into high-pitched laughter.
"He didn't think to like, shake her shoulder?" Carlos asks between laughter, finishing off his wine and grabbing a bottle from the little makeshift bowl cooler you put on the floor. He pours himself another glass and then tops everyone else off before putting the bottle back.
"He knew she was sick, and Y/n specifically told him not to touch her or go near her while she was sick." Daniel explains, thanking Carlos before taking a sip of the wine, "It was ridiculous. And then he made her promise that she wasn't actually mad."
"It was pretty funny." You grin and Carlos nods.
"So then Daniel is right, Max can't stand you being angry at him. So he can't be angry with you. If he is, he's a hypocrite, and fuck him, obviously." Carlos raises his glass in mock toast as sarcasm bleeds through his sentence halfway through, "But I can't say he won't be mad. He might be furious when he finds out, you have explained how protective Max can be, but I think he'll feel better knowing it's Charles."
"Charles is like his best friend," Daniel hums, "if you're dating someone he trusts I'm sure he'll feel better about it."
"Didn't we just make this point?" Carlos turns to Daniel who nods.
"Yeah, but it's a good one, so make it again."
"Max trusts Charles so it's fine," Carlos says and you laugh, waving your hands.
"Okay, so how the fuck do we do this?"
The plan is simple but effective. And it takes a few words to describe; be exactly the same, but a bit less secretive.
And the best way to start that is via social media. Once again.
-
y/nverstappen made a new post! ↴
liked by carlossainz, charlesleclerc, maxverstappen, and 412k others..
y/nverstappen: he called me his star <3
joliejolie: CYOOTIE PATOOTIE WHHAAAT
user1: caption??? GUYS?? CAPTION??
maxverstappen: i still don't know who
charlesleclerc: thanks for using all my film
charlesleclerc made a new post! ↴
liked by ynverstappen, danielricciardo, landonorris, and 612k others...
charlesleclerc: never getting rid of this camera.
user2: get me someone who will do this for me.
danielricciardo: DUDE THERE ARE KIDS HERE.
⤷ landonorris: im covering oscar and logans eyes
⤷ logansargeant: yeah ok.
⤷ charlesleclerc: ill get worse
⤷ oscarpiastri: pls no
⤷ carlossainz: ill buy u wine if you do
⤷ danielricciardo: DONT ENCOURAGE THAT WE DONT NEED A FUCKING HOMICIDE ON OUR HANDS??? CARLOS???
⤷ ynverstappen: why is DANIEL on damage control??
user1: why is this the sweetest thing ever?
ynverstappen.jpg: make a jpg coward
⤷ charlesleclerc.jpg: who says i dont have one.
⤷ landonorris.jpg: its just priv.
⤷ danielricciardo: unpriv coward
⤷ charlesleclerc: ok ?
⤷ ynverstappen.jpg: YEAAA SECRET CHARLES PHOTOS!!
charlesleclerc.jpg made a new post! ↴
charlesleclerc.jpg: in her own world.
arthurleclerc: vomiting. put clothes on.
y/nverstappen: TWO shirtless photos. BRO.
⤷ charlesleclerc: oops.
maxverstappen: so she takes after you with not wearing a shirt?
⤷ charlesleclerc: low blow
⤷ ynverstappen: accurate blow tbh
landonorris: where is ferrari's pr manager.
⤷ carlossainz: no one can help her.
ynverstappen.jpg made a new post! ↴
y/nverstappen.jpg: some fuckin gems in my camera roll recently
charlesleclerc: omg finally a feature
danielricciardo: WHEN WAS THAT TAKEN I DO NOT RECALL
⤷ carlossainz: shit talk night w her and charles
⤷ danielricciardo: after the advice?
⤷ ynverstappen.jpg: yes and u still owe me a new shirt >:(
maxverstappen: can you ever post a nice photo of me on here?
⤷ y/nverstappen: nope <3!
charlesleclerc: the banana is so old why now
⤷ ynverstappen.jpg: comedy
-
And by god, it starts working.
You're walking with Charles, hands intertwined as you wiggle through the tiny stalls in the small market that's popped up for the holidays. You both find a small corner to hide, stealing a chaste kiss and then you pop a chocolate strawberry in his mouth.
"Oh, damn." He hums, "You are right, these are amazing."
"I told you!" You grin, peeking behind your shoulder to see if anyone is watching. You swear you make eye contact with Max, but the longer you look the less the guy looks like Max so you turn back around.
"You good?" Charles rests a hand on your waist and you nod, taking a strawberry into your mouth and sighing.
"Mhm. Just hate hiding." You lean into his touch, letting him wrap a firm arm around your waist as he peppers a few kisses to your hairline.
"Hey, think about it this way." Charles says, "Soon we won't have to."
As you step back and agree, Daniel pops up next to you with big wide eyes--and not the usual excited ones you're used to seeing.
"Hey, Max, on your six." He pokes your shoulder and you make a face, before Daniel waves his arms around in some sort of odd gesture and hisses out to you, "Clock direction!"
"Oh-!" You whip around as Charles' hand moves off your waist and walking towards you is none other than your brother. Offering a soft smile and wave.
"Hey! Didn't think you'd be here!" You call and he pokes your arm, crossing his arms over his chest as you, Charles, and Daniel kinda scramble to make it look like nothing was going on.
"Kelly wanted to grab some flowers for the kitchen," Max hums. The two of you hadn't really apologized for anything said during the argument. In your family, arguments were never really apologized for, you kinda of just moved on from everything. So even if there was still a bit of an awkward twinge, nothing was said.
"Oh! Somehow Charles and Daniel haven't had the strawberries so I brought them here to try them." You smile, and someone's hand comes to your jaw. You blink as Charles uses one of the napkins to poke your cheek.
"You got chocolate on your face, somehow." He murmurs and you laugh, grabbing his wrist and taking the napkin into your own hands.
"Thank you, Charlie." You blot where he says the chocolate is and you notice Max giving you a weird look. Looking over at your brother, you go to say something before Daniel pulls Max away to look at something, mouthing to you both,
"Be more discreet, maybe?"
And you can't help the giggles that leave your mouth as you lean into Charles and he wraps an arm around you, laughing out apologies.
Yeah, Max was gonna catch on.
-
and now you and Charles had to get real good at lying and dodging watchful eyes. Monaco was a small little country, and now that it would be filled with more people who knew you, it was about to become a real challenge to see if you could make it through the holidays without anyone knowing or noticing.
Oh, especially when your Christmas Eve dinner was now going to have the Leclerc's stopping by as well.
taglist. thank you!
@angelayse @iamahallucinationnn @ilove-tswizzle @supremebaddietrash
#f1 fanfic#formula one fic#formula one fanfiction#max verstappen fanfic#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagines#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc smau#f1 smau#formula one smau
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ADHD money/budgeting system I'm currently using for my benefit is going well (I've been using it for like half a year now?), and I wanna recommend it.
You Need a Budget is EXCELLENT. 10/10 do recommend. Uhhh rambling about it and my generic disclaimers + gushing extensively under the cut but TL;DR I think it's great for ADHD ppl, I've used it for 6+ months now and I find it super SUPER helpful. also weirdly fun.
DISCLAIMERS:
Budgeting helps you understand/know your money, it can't make money appear where there is none.
Everyone should learn to budget even if you don't have much money (especially then)
This is NOT a magic trick solution. Just like everything else, it is an assistive tool. This is one of those adult things we can't simply opt out of without negative consequences, though.
My advice is based on something I am currently able to do. That is, I can spend an amount of money on this specific thing that works well for me. If you have no extra money to spend then previously I was tracking things in a notebook. So you can still do this.
I believe Dave Ramsey is a fundie fraud/hack and no one should listen to him about money.
DID YOU KNOW THEY CANCELLED MINT???
Okay? OKAY.
Ahem.
You Need a Budget is EXCELLENT.
It is called YNAB for short. The first 34 days are your free trial, and that is my referral link. If anyone uses it and then signs up for a subscription, we both get a month free. Also you can share a subscription with up to six people (account owner can see everything but individuals can pick and choose what they share amongst each other) so like...idk your whole polycule can be on one account. Or your kids. Whatever.
If you are a student, it's free for a year. If you aren't, a subscription is $99 for a year (paid all at once) or $14.99 monthly, which is equivalent to paying Amazon prime. Go cancel Prime and get this instead tbh.
They got a whole article just on ynab and ADHD. They also have like...a big variety of ways to access their info? They have a book, podcast episodes, YouTube videos, blog posts, q&A's, free live workshops you can join (you can request live captioning), emails they can send (if you want) a wiki, and so on. They got workshops on all kinds of topics!!
So whatever ends up working for your brain. It also has a matching app.
If you lost Mint this year they have a gajillion things for moving from Mint.
Also they have a "got five minutes?" Page which has a slider so you can decide how much attention/time you have before going on lol:
They only have 4 rules of the budget, they're simple and practical, and it doesn't get judgey or like...mean about your spending.
1. Give every dollar a job 2. Embrace your true expenses 3. Roll with the punches 4. Age your money.
THEN THEY BREAK THESE DOWN INTO SMALL STEPS FOR YOU! They even have a printable! Also these rules are great because there's built in expectations that things WILL HAPPEN and it's NOT all or nothing with a fear of total collapse into failure. Reality and The Plan don't always align, especially if you have ADHD. So it's directing our energy towards the true expenses and not clinging to The Plan!! over reality.
You can automate a lot of shit (you can sync with your bank accounts just like mint, but also automate tagging the categories of regular expenses/transactions). And if for whatever reason you accidentally do something that makes the budget look weird or wrong:
A) you can usually fix it somehow OR b) they have like, a button you can press that gives you a clean slate and archives the previous version of the budget for you.
So if you forget for a few weeks or months, or accidentally input something wildly wrong, or just don't want to look at a really terrible month anymore and feel like you need a fresh start you can usually either fix it or start fresh which is really nice.
The app also (for whatever reason) scratches my itch to have things like...have incentives or little game-like goals in a way mint never did? I don't know why. Filling up the bars or putting money into the categories to cover my expenses is satisfying lmao. You can also make a big wish expense category for all the fun shit you want, and fund it whenever you can and then you can see the little bar go up and that's fun.
Anyways I've been using it for like 6+ months now and I think it's really helped me when I use it.
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don't you ignore me | bakugo katsuki x fem!reader
summary. Maybe if Bakugo wasn't being a piece of shit to you, you wouldn't ignore and be bothered by his treatment towards you. However, you need to make him realize his actions, yet his temper always creates the most unexpected outcomes.
genre. angst. explicit smut. 18+
word count. 1.7k
warnings. dubcon. in an established relationship. adult!bakugo. hero!bakugo. citizen!reader. lots of cursing. arguments. aggressive behaviour. bitter and painful words (bakugo). communication issues. hints of possessiveness. a bit of egoistic behavior. degradation. dominance. manhandling. fingering. cunnilingus. slight choking.
Silence bore between the two lovers, yet it was not the quietness of peace. It’s as if one of you stands waiting to be ignited before exploding. You crossed your arms and legs as you swung your foot back and forth, an annoyed expression crossed your face while in front of you was a glaring red-eyed man staring at you with a temper much worse than yours.
Bakugo clicked his tongue in annoyance, “Oi, aren’t you going to talk? Are you listening to me?"
You only glared at him. It was his fault, anyway. So, why should you be bothered to communicate with him when he has no will to do it with you? It was always his profession, here, there, this, everywhere.
You understood him, always.
Yet it was unfair in your case; every time you asked him to do something for you, he would always reject it and prioritize his job before you. You even wonder if you were still his girlfriend or just a fucking maid.
You didn't have to explain yourself with that, he should realize how he treats you.
You sighed disappointedly at his response as you stood from the couch noiselessly before dashing upstairs to your bedroom. Bakugo stared at you with wide eyes, furious at your disrespect to him, especially your silence. He lets out a chuckle as he follows you.
"Y/N. Talk to me, come on. What the fuck is your problem? Come on, babe. Fucking talk to me! You are making me look like a fool." Bakugo complained angrily. You pick up your pace, still ignoring him.
"Stop fucking ignoring me!" Finally, Bakugo exploded.
A deafening reverberates in the bedroom as you harshly close the door. A shout followed once you entered your room. There were loud and quick strides that echoed behind the door.
“Oi, Y/N! Don’t you ignore me!” Bakugo shouted aggressively. You ignored the loud voice of your boyfriend. Consequently, this made Bakugo bang on the door like a lunatic. “Hey, I am fucking talking to you! Stop being a bitch and open up the door!” He demanded furiously.
Your jaw clenched upon hearing his words as you sit up before inhaling deeply. “Leave. me. the. fuck. alone. Katsuki. Just go and do your job by fucking other women!” You screamed back at him with a tone emphasising the words.
You stomp loudly on the ground as you heavily lay your body down on the bed. The shouts and screams by Bakugo continued as he continuously bangs the door. He can blast your door with his quirk at any moment, but despite his irritable temper, he is never reckless with his actions.
This situation resumes between you and your boyfriend for 5 more minutes until the banging stops. You waited a few moments to expect another banging, but it never came. When you feel like Bakugo has given up, you reach up to grab your pillow to place it on your face before gripping it and screaming as loud as you can.
“Asshole! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" Your muffled screams vibrated through the pillow. You were frustrated at your boyfriend. In a relationship, generally, people expressed that communication is the key to a healthy relationship. You agree with that perception while hoping to experience where you and your significant other are open towards each other, with no shyness or fear present. But with Bakugo, it was the opposite.
He was loud, but it meant that he never listened. There were a lot of circumstances you can name where you tried to get him to listen to you. He always wanted people to follow him, including you. You love Bakugo, but you hate that part about him. His pride was a problem to you and the relationship itself. It hinders you from attempting to be open with your lover.
Sometimes, a thought passes by saying it would be better if you weren't in a relationship. You remove the pillow from your face as you blankly stare at the ceiling.
Should you break up with him?
Suddenly, a frame appeared in your view. A loud gasp left your lips as you propped your elbows. The man in front of you had a deadly grin and eyes that were blazing fire as if his stare would kill you in seconds.
"The fuck did you just say, babe?" He gritted through his teeth. Your eyes dilated upon seeing your boyfriend. Your lips shake from fright as you try to form your words, "H-how... w-what, h-how did you..."
A chuckle left Bakugo's mouth as he trapped you between his body and the bed, slowly climbing up, "Babe, you are not the one who is only living here, hmm? But I want to know what you said a while ago."
You frown upon what he said—did you say it out loud? You never meant it. It was the heat of the moment. In a million years, you never wish for that to happen even if it passes in your mind. You back away slowly, "What do you mean? I didn't say anything..."
Another sarcastic chuckle was emitted by your boyfriend as he pushed himself up on his knees and cracked his knuckles soundly. You feel shivers spreading through your body as you wait for his turn to speak. His silence was fearing you.
Suddenly, he yanked your ankles towards him, leaving you to yelp in surprise. As he climbs between your legs and then bends down to you. With that, he begins to your face with his right hand, drawing in a ticklish manner. Gently, his thumb stops at your lips. You stare at Bakugo's face, only to see him, licking his lips sensually. He unhurriedly pushes his thumb between the gap of your lips as you allow him. The push of your tongue down made your back arched, your crotch inches away from his.
"You know, baby? I admire your courage, really do." Bakugo snickers as his hand leaves your mouth to slowly slide down to your neck, the saliva trailing your chin.
"It is one of the things I love about you... however, you can't fuck with me with that foolishness of yours."
A sudden, rough placement was rubbing your clothed pussy, and you gasped loudly at the sensation. Pleasure soared through your body despite the brutish action of Bakugo. He sneered at your reaction, it was definitely satisfying to see you squirming at his touch below him as always.
His right hand proceeds to lift your shirt up to free your breasts from the confinement of the fabric, "You say you wanna break up with me, huh? What the fuck you have been drinking for you to say that?" He mocks.
As his other hand hooks your shorts and panty to the side before sliding a finger up your slit. A moan erupted from your lips, "Oh my gosh, Katsuki!" You could not reply to his mocks due to the unbelievable satisfaction that he always gives you.
"This slut can't even give an answer." Bakugo grabs a nipple by his lips, sucking it harshly before switching to your other boob. You hissed in response. Bakugo always knows how to make you shut up, it wasn't your fault you couldn't answer.
"Perhaps, I should fuck you hard to get that pissy attitude out of your pussy... and I'll make sure that you would never think about leaving me. I guess this is what you deserve after fucking ignoring me the whole day." A deadly grin formed on Bakugo's lips as he let go of your nipples.
Your eyes widen as you quickly place your hands on his huge forearms. "W-wait! Katsuki! Ah!" You moan loudly as your boyfriend inserts two of his thick fingers in your cunt, making you feel full.
Like the expert he is, he harshly thrusts his fingers with his thumb circling your clit rapidly. You suck in a deep breath as your back arches greatly. The squelch of your pussy entertained Bakugo as he felt this great pride overpowering him.
"Look at how wet you are, babe. No one will ever get you this wet other than me."
The words of Bakugo only passes through the other ear as you feel dizzy at the pleasure. While you attempt to at least decrease the sensation, Bakugo notices it as he chuckles.
He then placed his palm flat on your pelvis area, pushing you to prevent you from moving away from him, but this didn't help you one bit. It made it more difficult for you to resist the upcoming hurl around your stomach. You squirm around his hold, "S-slow down! F-fuck, Bakugo!" You plead while leaving long streaks of red marks, digging your nails.
Yet, your boyfriend ignored the pain. He only curved his lips upwards as he continued to finger you at a merciless speed. You were a mess; beads of sweat formed all around your body; hair was in a dishevelled state; and a fucked-up pleasure expression crossed your face.
As you are in bliss, you don't notice your boyfriend go down on you. Then you feel a long wet stripe along your hole, and you take a sharp inhale. "Oh fuck, Katsuki!"
A snicker left his lips as he licked your slit deliberately. His red eyes stare at you, "You're lucky, I'd be the one fucking you like this. A lot are lining up just to get a taste of me."
His thumb continues to rub your clit. "But no man will be able to satisfy you like I do. Well, I don't plan to let them either." A possessive tone was evident in his voice.
You open your mouth to retract back at him, but he laps his tongue on your sensitive bud, making you twist. You slid your hand from his forearms to grab his hair hard.
He was ruthless as he pushes your hips down to prevent you moving carelessly. Katsuki sucks your clit repeatedly. Yet, you only gave moans and whimpers until a sudden twist feeling quickly emerges, releasing in your stomach as you heave.
"Oh, I'm cumming! I'm cumming!" You muttered repeatedly, which made your boyfriend laps his tongue in a much brutal pace.
You shiver as you release. Your chest rises up and down as you try to catch your breath. However before you gather yourself up, a hand stops you by pushing your neck down. You cough in the process as you struggle to breathe.
He glowers down at you with intense eyes. He is portaying his dominance over you. Little by little, he leans to your ear, lips slowly tickling the small hairs.
"I am still not done with you."
all dividers are from @cafekitsune, thank you <33
#dashitsxx#bakugo smut#bakugou x reader#bakugo katsuki#mha bakugou#dashitsxx.dontyouignoreme#dashitsxx.dyim#dashitsxx.bakugo#bakugou katsuki#bnha bakugou#dashitsxx.devil#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo
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Hi love! How are you? I’m so in love with your writing and I wanted to see if you could write something for me? 🥺 (only if your requests are open.)
I was wondering if you could write a Sugar daddy!Miguel? The reader is working at little club and notices her one night working, running all over the place serving drinks to other drunk people. Miguel calls her over for a drink and talks to her for a bit. He tells her “someone as beautiful as you shouldn’t be working in a place like this?” And offers her to be his sugar baby, she’s surprised at his request but takes it. After he spoils her she realizes she starts to have feelings for him and he does too. 🫶🏻💗
Sure thing! This might be late from when you originally requested, but I finally got it done! Haha. I won't do too much of a age difference, since I'm not too comfortable with large age gaps, but hell, sugar daddies can be the same age too!
Right??
Warning: Fluff, language, teasing, fluff fluff and fluff
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another day, another dollar. That's how you tried to keep motivated. Did it work? No, but your bills sure did play a part in getting your ass off the bed. Being an adult sucked. Where you worked, also sucked; but were you going to quit...Not yet.
Although, you were desperate for something new.
You hated your job. Working at a stripe club, serving drinks to drunk and perverts. It wasn't your ideal choice, but it was the only place that was willing to give you a chance. You couldn't afford to go to college and your bills were too high to wait for anything else.
You had been told by your boss that you'd make more money as a stripper, but to hell with that. You knew the risks and quite frankly, you were afraid to dance half naked in front of so many men. Though, it didn't stop you from getting some tips here and there.
"Another round over here, sweet cheeks!" One of your regulars called out.
You let out a huff, pouring more beers into glasses. Before hitting the floor, you fixed your booty shorts once more and hurried to him. The drinks hit their mouths before you even put them on the table.
"Geez, trying to hit a record? At least let me get them on the table before inhaling them," You teased.
"Drinks from you are too good to not have, baby. I'll take it nice and slow next round if you get on that stage."
"Not even in your dreams, pal." You huffed, walking to the next table.
You hated this place. You hated the customers. Hell, sometimes you hated the pay. It was not enough for the shit you had to deal with on a daily bases.
"(Y/N), VIP guest is requesting you from bring them a popular drink. Doesn't care which one, he just wants you to deliver it. Don't fuck this up." Your shitty manager said over the radio.
"Great."
------------
Miguel let out an obvious sigh, signaling to his brother that he was not happy to be there. He would groan and grunt, but unfortunally Gabriel had gotten used to those noises and somehow tuned Miguel off. Honestly, it was a talent.
Since Miguel was forced to come to the club, he might as well have made the best of it. Miguel grabbed the VIP room and made himself comfortable. His sunglasses making him the center of attention sure did help with keeping Miguel seated in his seat.
He watched the crowds of men cheer towards the strippers, begging for more and throwing their money. Miguel exhaled softly, looking at his private stage. There was no need for him to be here. He should be outside, stopping crime.
"Miggy! Stop being such a brood and have fun!" Gabriel huffed, poking his head into the room. Miguel shrugged,
"I am having fun. See? I'm here."
"Such a bore."
Miguel rolled his eyes towards his brother. He hummed lowly, watching the people in the club. He furrowed his brows, spotting you run around with a scowl on your face. He couldn't help but smile. To think there was someone else in here who was just as unhappy as him.
Miguel pondered to himself. He had been wanting to do something risky lately. That and he was touch starved. Perhaps he could save someone tonight, but in a different matter. Hell, it could be fun too.
Requesting for you, Miguel leaned back in his seat and waited. With his heighten senses, Miguel resisted a chuckle as he heard you cuss under your breathe. By the time you arrived, you had a obvious fake smile against your lips and a tall, colorful drink in your hand,
"Hello! You requested me?" You asked sweetly. Miguel raised a brow as he took a sip of his drink,
"Couldn't help but noticed you working too hard out there," He said smoothly and motioned to the seat across from here, "Your boss can't see us from here. Take a break."
"Ha, you trying to get me fired?"
"Perhaps, if you're willing to listen and take my offer," Miguel said, continuing to force the sweet drink down his throat.
Miguel watched you hesitate before taking a seat. Your clothes were obviously too tight for you.
"So, what's your offer?"
"It's obvious that you're too good and beautiful for this job. So, hear this bored man out," Miguel tried to get you to smile, "I have too much money and not enough to spend it on. Would you allow me to waste it on you?"
"Huh? Like...Have you as my sugar daddy?" You questioned, observing him, "You only look a few years older than me. How can you be that rich?"
"Plenty of ways. I won't have you do anything you don't want. Just a date here or there, and in return you can spend as much money as possible on whatever you want."
"So....just a date in return?" You hesitated and glanced at the club, "I am being punked right?"
"Why would I lie?"
You glanced at the club once more, honestly considering the man's offer. You were desperate and what was the harm in just playing along for a date or two? If you can pay off your bills and get enough money, you could run away if things got too scary.
"Deal, I'm (Y/N)"
"Miguel."
--------------
Part of you still doubted Miguel and his offer. Even as you quit on the spot and held his card in your hand, you still doubted it. It was only until you officially paid off a bill and was asked on a date that it hit you. This was real. You nabbed yourself a Sugar Daddy.
And a hot one at that.
Honestly, you weren't too disappointed with your situation. Miguel was really kind to you and didn't ask for much. Your first few dates were honestly some of the best you've ever had. The most you did was hold hands and a small peck on the cheek here and there. It was sweet and simple.
You really only used his money to pay off your bills and do some small groceries here and there. Honestly, you were more into having another date with Miguel. He actually listened to you and took care of you. Something that made your heart flutter.
"Hey, Miguel, want to come over to my place tonight? I'll make dinner." You asked him over the phone.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course. I want you to come over," You said with a smile as you cleaned your apartment, "I want you to try my cooking for once."
"Then I'll be there."
---------
Miguel was honestly surprised by your request. He was new to this whole Sugar Daddy business and was enjoying it for what it was. Your little dates gave him energy after a long day of Alchemax and the Spider Society.
Your little touches made him want more. Honestly, Miguel was having a hard time holding back. He was enjoying this too much and wanted more from you, but that was not part of the deal. Miguel didn't want to push you away.
Swinging around the city, Miguel tried to think of ways to approach you in the matter. He wanted to kiss you. He wanted to tell you that he liked you, but what if you didn't? Miguel only approached you because of how beautiful you were and how much you looked like you needed a break.
This wasn't part of the deal.
"But please say yes."
----------
You could feel the sweat on your palms as you finished prepping dinner. You even wore a sexy dress to get Miguel's attention. Hearing your door bell, you hurried over and let Miguel inside. You greeted Miguel and pecked his cheek, hiding your blush.
"Um, don't mind the mess." You motioned him inside. Miguel tried his best to keep his hands to himself,
"It looks fine. You on the other hand, beautiful." He hummed. You hurried to the table, placing the plate before him, "Smells amazing. You truly didn't have too."
"Like I said...I wanted too." You sat beside Miguel, watching his reaction, "I can only thank you for much. I want to show more of my appreciation."
"You don't have too, baby," Miguel rubbed your head, "I chose to take care of you."
"And if...I want more?"
"Money?"
"No!" You nearly yelled and inhaled deeply, "Sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice, but I'm not that greedy. I was wondering if maybe, I can give you more....affection."
"I don't want to force you to-"
"I want too!" You told Miguel, grabbing his hand, "Miguel, we've been in this relationship for about two months now. You've done so much for me and honestly...I really, really like you. I want to be with you and kiss you and-"
Miguel was the one to interrupted you this time as he pulled you into a kiss. Both of his hands cupped your cheeks, holding you in place. He could feel shivers run down his spine as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
This was what he needed. What he wanted. Thank whatever God listened, but Miguel was grateful that you shared his feelings in return. Breaking the kiss, Miguel stroked your lips and hummed in response,
"You are such a good girl for me," He whispered. You rested your forehead against his,
"You know, I never mentioned how much of a turn on that is whenever you say it."
You couldn't help but laugh as Miguel immediately grew flustered. He nudged his side and signaled towards his plate. Miguel cleared his throat and finished his meal alongside you. Once the two of you were done, you both decided to watch a movie.
More like make out on the couch.
Your Sugar Daddy soon turned into your 'Daddy' really quick. You now had new bills to worry about, aka pain killers and muscle relaxers because Miguel was a beast in bed.
But hell, it was worth quitting your job for him.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waaaaaah, I hope you liked it!!!!
@tojishugetiddies
#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel spiderverse#spiderman 2099#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel spiderman#atsv miguel#across the spiderverse#miguel x you#miguel x y/n
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