#i KNEW it would get more confusing
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making connections, realizations, etc.
#i KNEW it would get more confusing#and also that there would be more women that were definitely for sure obsessed with severian and not scared of him (definitely)#but also. hehehe do i spot a Guy. thee Guy even.#the book of the new sun
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I just rewatched 02 x 07 for the first time since finishing all the books and I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like everyone is either on the side of (1) it was all a big ploy, or (2) that's it for Moiraine and Siuan they can never come back from this--but I really don't think either of those are true.
I think the most in character thing Moiraine could possibly do is forgive Siuan, for the following reasons:
Moiraine knows that she would do the exact same thing that Siuan did here--namely, sacrifice anything (even their relationship and their trust in one another)--for the sake of the world and their mission. And this shared goal, these compatible values, and this mutual understanding is literally what has kept them together despite 20 years of distance and secrecy from the world.
[MINOR BOOK SPOILERS] We see in one of the books that Moiraine believes she and Siuan have made their beds and will lie in them one day by becoming involved in the quest to find the Dragon -- I believe the way she phrases it is about payment coming due for all the rules they've broken and the secrecy etc. that they needed for their quest. If this is her attitude, she is not only willing to give up everything, but expects to give up everything. And she expects it of Siuan as well.
Siuan has already proven how much she would give up for their quest. She became Amyrlin despite, as we learn this same episode, how much she did not want to be trapped in the tower and could not see her future there. She gave up any semblance of a happy life (how she would picture it both with and without Moiraine!) for this quest.
In some ways, if Siuan had just let Moiraine take Rand through a waygate to Falme, it would have actually been a betrayal of their mission. Their mission wasn’t “get Rand to Falme.” It was “protect and train the dragon reborn.” Siuan feels the need to do that as acutely as Moiraine does--and critically, Moiraine knows this about Siuan.
This goes quadruple if Siuan actually did think Moiraine could be a dark friend. Siuan thinks Moiraine lied to her!! And Moiraine knows this too, since Siuan does at least have the chance to say "You lied to me!" Moiraine would understand that if there was any chance Moiraine had been turned or was compelled, Siuan had to try and stop her from taking Rand off to god knows where.
Literally just a few days earlier Moiraine had threatened to have Alanna take Lan’s bond by force if he stood in her way--aka, the way of her mission. At this very moment, Moiraine herself has spent days (weeks?) contemplating what it would mean to betray the autonomy and trust of those she loves most if it means saving the world. And she knows what side she's on.
When Moiraine says, “if you have ever loved me don’t do this” my heart shatters into a million pieces. But that line is not just ,“it will be a betrayal of our love and trust if you compel me." It is that, but it's also a call for Siuan to see Moiraine for MOIRAINE. She’s saying “you know me.” She’s trying to get her (Siuan) to see that what she (Moiraine) is doing is not about her shame and pride but about the mission. Because it is ALWAYS about the mission, Moiraine IS the mission, and Siuan loves her because of that, and Moiraine knows Siuan loves her because of that
Moiraine clearly hesitates before going through the waygate. Her character isn't one to linger out of shock and betrayal. She lashes out and she puts up distance--we've seen this all season. Moiraine moves forward. So I read her looking at Siuan here as far more "I love you and I'm sorry [I can't help you? it's come to this? we can't reconcile?]" than "How could you?" or "You're a different person to me now." I’m not trying to minimize the violation Moiraine is also feeling in this moment, I just think that if the violation was her primary emotion she would likely behave differently. And if she can have this messy a set of emotions even in the heart of the moment, I have faith she can similarly hold multiple emotions later when reconciling.
The flashback scenes are so heartbreaking but they don’t have to mean that Moiraine and Siuan feel so betrayed and far from those versions of themselves that they will never be together again. Those flashbacks can also be saying “remember when we were those people?” Holding onto those versions of themselves is how they hold onto their love despite this scene.
Those flashbacks also remind us that their relationship in the show is like 50 years old. It is deep. People don't throw away 50 years of relationship without a conversation, even if there is a deep betrayal involved. And that's normal people--not even people who have given up absolutely everything for a cause that the relationship has now gotten wrapped up in. In the books, they are together for a few years and then seemingly go their separate ways when the Dragon is reborn. I don't think the show would have gone out of its way to deepen and lengthen this relationship just to end it so quickly and unceremoniously.
#anyway maybe I'm delusionsal#but it just seems absolutely impossible to me that they would spend that long building up their relationship to just be like okay poof bye#but I also think them working together and having this all be a big plot sort of cheapens the moment#plus that just isn't the type of show this is#and the episode titles have been more applicable to the following episode in season 2 for whatever reason#so daes damar can refer to the games everyone is playing in the finale#although I remain confused how siuan knew where to go and where the waygate is#ANYWAY I get why people are so distraught by what siuan does here but I just don't think moiraine will see it that way#moiraine is a morally complicated character despite being so sure of right and wrong and I just have to believe she sees that in Siuan too#wheel of time#moiraine damod#siuan sanche#siuan sanche waits for only one woman
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one major difference i have found between service industry work (in my case food service but this is widely applicable to similar jobs) and other public-facing positions is that the job itself is often very similar because people is the same, it's just in service everyone approaches you already thinking they're right and you're a fucking idiot and its their god given right to disrespect you, where in other positions even if they are not nice to you they usually acknowledge that you know more than them on issues pertaining to your job. like the difference in behaviour from people who see you as serving them vs helping them is unreal. i am doing literally the exact same things. customer is always right mentality did irreparable damage to the fabric of society
#good idea generator#i loveee the library front desk everyone is polite and people will just ask you anything#they assume so much knowledge and access to data#ill be like 'just one moment let me look that up in the system' [googles name of school + upcoming events]#also not in a mean way but i never realized until i worked here how little anybody is googling anything#i think its funny and i also love to google things for people so i am perfectly suited to this#and some questions even though they are googleable the issue is more that the person isnt totally sure what theyre asking#but like. the library hours are visible on the home page. and outside the building that you just walked into on a sign#PPL DO NOT READ SIGNS. i knew that from other jobs but good lord people do NOT even GLANCE at signs#ppl would fully walk past like 4 signs about a specific thing and proceed to ask me a q about the thing. after waiting in a line#constantly CONSTANTLY ppl are trying to enter or exit through locked doors. clambering over closed signs to do so#its someones job when the library closes specifically to point out the signs and direct ppl to an open exit#and still often people will get up to the automatic doors and be baffled and confused as to why they dont open#but like even this i dealt w/this at my food service job and it was so frustrating#bc when you had to confront these people they would get MAD AT YOU. furious that they didnt read a sign telling them where to line up#but at the library people are polite and apologetic so you know it's not malice or entitlement ppl are just kind of inattentive#monumental difference tbh i actually love front counter so much people are so fun#and i like it when nobody is actively trying to kill me with their mind while we speak
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I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:
(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]
Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)
Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]
(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)
(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)
LIKE!!!!!!!
Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.
#csi#gsr#i'm very Normal about them btw i don't think about them 50 times per day or anything#need to talk more about these two here#because im obsessed about them in a Normal way#sara is like. my dream wife. i totally get grissom being in love with her for years and barely holding it together#i would not though#i'm 1000% sure she's bi. but the writers have been cowards so far#also she and i dress THE SAME. yes i love 2000s clothes so what#i could talk about her forever she's everything to me#and grissom. oh grissom. i also get why she's been in love with him forever#i mean what the FUCK went down in san francisco did they hook up and sex was so good it scared them#and now they have to live with that tension and they're scared of crossing that line#nah i'm guessing with these two they just REALLY clicked. like. they were an instant match and they knew it#but grissom didnt want to lose focus on work or whatever and they lived in separate states you know#but oh my god i totally get sara. grissom is such a silver fox. he's like one of the hottest old men i've ever seen in my life#you know what i 100% get tumblr sexualizing old men it's completely valid i'm in this now too#he has this LOOK. whenever he's angry at a suspect. and he looks angrily at them. i'm chewing on my keyboard just remembering it#and his smirks#AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT SARA#im losing my mind#i love all of gil grissom but seasons 4-5 jesus fucking christ#ok enough with the sexualizing i love him as a character SO MUCH. he's absolutely fantastic#one of the things i love the most about him is that he doesn't judge people. whenever the team is confused about someone#or this persons' lifestyle#he's always trying to understand them and not judge them#like a true scientist he wants to understand the nature of things and people#and he's such a sweetheart i love him so much#like there are so many things i love about him i can't fit them all in the tags. same for sara#they're a perfect match for me
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maybe it's because I'm in the "I'm so obsessed and hyperfocused on my little guys I will make any song seem like it's about them even if it couldn't be any father from actually relating to them at all" stage of my Theon and Asha hyperfixation but like...
I feel like 'I bet on losing dogs' by Mitski is about them.
it's about Asha and her relationship with Theon.
he's her baby brother. the baby brother who looked up at her smiled when she had gone in his room, intent on strangling him to stop his cries. he's her losing dog. the dog she keeps fighting for when no one else will. she never gives up on him, not truly, even when he is so clearly doomed, because she loves him, she won't give up on him.
and Theon is, in so many senses, a dog. he's been passed around from owner to owner, home to home, trained and beaten and domesticated, made to behave how his owner at the time sees fit. he's a good dog, a good beaten dog.
and now, in a way, he's Asha's dog. she doesn't want him to be her dog, she wants him to be her brother, and Theon's trying, he really is trying, she knows he's trying, but part of him will always be doomed to be a dog waiting to be hit, waiting for a command, waiting to be trained.
he's her losing dog, she knows it, knows he's doomed, deep down, there's little hope, he'll die a damned dog, but fuck it she doesn't care, he's her blood, her baby, he will be by her side no matter what. she'll always go back for him, she'll always fight for him, she'll always tell him to stay, she'll always give him a chance, she'll always try.
~~~~
#(this post is based on the show. I'm half way through season 6)#I don't even know if I'm saying anything coherently but I tried#they make me feel insane. feral. ill. all of the above.#I think- scratch that. I *know* asha is so much softer for theon than she lets on and I don't know how more people don't see that#like yes. she wasn't perfect when it came to handling theon#but like... she was doing the best she knew how to do with the way she was brought up#I mean. the ironborn have a very tough it out or die mentality. they don't do “mental health” (I mean... look at euron. does it look-#like they do mindfulness and processing trauma?)#she only knew how to tough love theon. that was it. she wanted him to get better but didn't know how to actually make it happen#but that doesn't change the fact that she loved him with her whole being. that she hated seeing him in the state he was. that she didn't-#want to make it all better like any big sister would.#because she did! she loved him! he was her baby and he was hurting and she didn't know how to fix it!#she's brash cause thats all she knows. she's tough on him cause what else could she do? she had to have been scared and worried about him.#I think part of her brashness was her trying to cover up just how worried and conflicted and confused she was when it came to his situation#so this post caters to what I think the soft innards of asha greyjoy would be like. she loves her baby brother very much.#I mean. the way she looks at him when she tells him the story of him smiling at her or when she kisses his forehead when he agrees to be-#*theon* again. for her. the love in her eyes is undeniable.#to asha and her losing dog- I mean brother#they're gonna be the death of me#asha greyjoy#theon greyjoy#yara greyjoy#got#game of thrones#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#the second row of images is from the scene where asha (she will never be yara to me. sorry got. asha is the superior name) is telling-#theon the story about him being a terrible baby and how he smiled at her.
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Did you know that you can get your hands on some Nevermoor-themed patches if you order the Collector's Editions? Retailers vary, and it's while supplies last!
#nevermoor#nevermoor merch#the link I shared ships internationally! at least to america. I emailed asking if they knew how else to get the patches and they did that 😭#it's unclear who sells them though because I emailed hachette and got a deeply confusing response#I think I would be even more confused if I asked for further clarification#unsure if these are something just with the collector's editions from some retailers or if it applies to any editions#I swear I've seen them before but google image search is giving me no results so. idk!
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why the fuck did i write about birds this fucking sucks. i just found out birds only sleep for a few minutes at a time, hundreds of times a day. do you know what this is going to do to my structure? the logistics of their road trip? this is already like three days late and i've been fighting for my life to get A Plot Like Any Plot That Makes Sense out and now the birds fucking sleep for 5 minutes at a time.
#i should've just bailed and written another story when i had the chance#i'm not joking i've never fought a fiction piece this hard before. usually because i'm not writing for specific deadlines#and not a piece so big. and not one that's gonna be workshopped. i wanna blow them away but if things keep going the way they are everyone'#gonna tell me the pacing sucks and it feels pointless and the characters feel really confused. I KNOW. I KNOW THAT. FUCKK#i'm the type to do about 15 passes before i let someone see my 'first draft' and i'm just not gonna be able to do that if i want to get it#in time for a workshop. every day i delay is making things harder for my classmates y'know?? but i've been writing like 1k words a day#and it's still not done. GUHH#I DON'T LIKE WRITING THESE CHARACTERS THAT MUCH THEY'RE NOT FUNNY OR ENDEARING AND THAT'S MY LIKE.#MAIN SKILL AND VIBE WITH SHORT STORY DUOS. BUT NOOOO I HAD TO MAKE THEM DIFFERENT CUZ I WAS SICK OF DOING#THE SAME DYNAMIC OVER AND OVER. BITCH THIS IS YOUR FINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRIED AND TRUE GETS THE BLUE (RIBBON)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#head in my hands head in my hands head in my hands head in my hands head#going to work on it some more. fuckk#the voices aren't consistent and i'm trying to make it clear that this is toxic bird yuri and not a mother/daughter thing but the maternal#themes are kind of fucking with that but they're important and i don't wanna get rid of them but it feels forced cuz im forcing it#sigh. i'm gonna have to cut the yuri. these two don't work romantically at all. what a waste of time.#i watched the entirety of mnthly girls' nozaki-kun in the past two days while avoiding writing. did you know that? the lengths to which i'l#go? anyway it was fun i appreciate fellow creative agony and i uh never knew how they did screen tones and wasn't expecting that somehow#so i learned something new (hooray). anyway back to. fucking. bird story stuff#i'm so mad i hate these two (<- lying. just pissy) i hate this story (<- mostly exaggerating. throwing a tantrum)#eughhhhhh i just wanna lie on the floor and cryyyyyyyyyy (<- completely deadpan irl. not That upset just kind of sick of shit)#i'm so burnt out and it's only gonna get worse. ughh#why can't someone just come in and write it for meeeeeeeeeeheheuhhh (<- would hate that)
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i can have a normal day and suddenly at 3 AM while I wait for melatonin to kick in i get another epiphany but I'm also left groveling on the ground cause of said epiphany
#narus' corner#man....#jing yuan man....#much thoughts.#what flavor of mentally deranged shall i be when i wake up from my slumber#i dont know BUT LORD ITS NOT LOOKING GOOD#**pokes jing yuan** do smth about this#Have a surprise appearance next patch#grant me ur companion quest so i can haul u over to yhe express#you've had 4 cameos on different companion quests humor me#lemme see u#LEMME TALK TO U MORE U EEPY LION#or stuff u into a casket myself like i think that works too#listen what if we were made to make a pitstop at luofu by elio cause he knew shit would go down at penacony with the family#have y'all seen that description of them#straight up cult vibes i think we gonna be sacrificed#manipulation 101 with ur local pastor WHEEEZE#but then theres other sources saying its cartoon inspired and then i get more confused#manipulation by silly cartoons making silly noises#and thej somrone slams a giant hammer on us with an OH-HOY#AND WHO GONNA SAVE US SINCE WE CARRYING THAT JADE ABACUS#JING YUAN BABY SO TRUE MY LIEGE HE SHALL COME TO OUR RESCUE#but how the hell would that realistically work if the express always wormholes to reach other destinations#how fast is the luofu going if they have to derail of their path to stop at penacony likr
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I just thought of a Mulan fanfic I read years ago where Mulan came out to Shang as ftm and it ended with Shang saying "I fell in love with you and Ping first and then I fell in love with you as Mulan. I'll love you no matter who you are"
I really keep forgetting how much that movie shaped us and our gender growing up. Disney may be a hell corporation, but I had an easier time conceptualizing our gender cause of that movie.
#like mulan was the closest thing we got to gender rep when when we were young#all we knew was that we wanted to be like her but would get confused as to why she went back to being called Mulan at the end of the movie#'oh why wouldn't she just stay Ping forever?'#'i liked her more as a boy i wish i was mulan so i could just stay a boy instead'#i really have no idea how it took us so long to realize we were trans
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British publishers seem to have a strange habit of classifying nineteenth century French novels as children’s books (a nebulous category I know- children are often more than capable of reading so-called ‘adult’ books but I find it odd nonetheless).
Jules Verne is the first one that springs to mind, but the one that always confuses me is ‘The Three Musketeers’. Yes it’s got all the swashbuckling ingredients that make up a good boys’ own story, but I’m really not sure that it’s strictly a ‘children’s’ classic.
This brought to you by the fact that I’m trying to sort all my other Dumas books into order when I realised that the ‘Three Musketeers’ wasn’t among them, even though it’s part of a wider ‘series’, the other books of which are in my ‘adult’ books. But because my copy of ‘The Three Musketeers’ was part of a set of ‘children’s classics’, it’s languishing in a box somewhere, alongside The Railway Children and the Secret Garden (great books both, but very different in tone I think). I don’t want to break that set up but I also don’t see why the story of Milady de Winter is more child appropriate than the Count of Monte Cristo.
#I should go back and reread Musketeers but even as a 9 year old I knew something stank about the treatment of Milady#And if it had been wrapped up as an adult book I would have been able to engage with the story and analyse it with the complexity it deserve#But the fact it's packaged up like a book for little children left me confused instead of intrigued as a kid#You could make the argument that any swashbuckling adventure story is for kids but I'm a Scot and I have to repudiate that strongly#Otherwise Scott and Stevenson- though not inappropriate for children either- would be left out in the cold#Why is it acceptable to do that to the French#To be fair Ivanhoe sometimes gets treated like a kids' book#Interestingly Waverley almost never is but that might just be because it's less popular nowadays#Kidnapped and Ivanhoe are both appropriate for kids in my opinion and so are most adventure stories don't get me wrong#Kids are pretty bright and ok so sometimes they're not ready for certain things but that's really up to them as readers#But if there was ever an adventure story that might have been more aimed at adult readers#I have to feel that it's the Three Musketeers#It's definitely a pattern with French translations in particular I think#Though some of the racism in the Lost World (also part of the children's classics set) also seems rather dubious#I don't know much about literature by the way it's not really my speciality so there may be reasoning#And I know that the concept of 'children's books' is a really vague and silly one#I just think it's odd that certain work by French authors tend to get lumped together under that label
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gender rant under the cut
good things abt testosterone and passing: do not often get called a woman or miss/ma'am, get called sir, getting closer every day to my gender goals (I just want to look like jack black/meatloaf/laszlo from wwdits), terms like "boyfriend" are very gender euphoric, overall much much happier with my physical appearance
bad things abt testosterone and passing: constantly assumed to be a gay man despite that being so far from my sexuality. this in itself is fine up until I start to get to know people and explicitly tell them many times that I am not a man, I do not like being referred to as a man, and I do not like binary men and yet everyone Still constantly refers to me as a man and acts like I have no experience liking women (including cracking jokes abt how much I wouldn't understand liking women. laughing my fucking ass off.) and as if I have not, do not, and could never experience misogyny, never or rarely feeling welcomed in spaces w women, etc etc
like don't get me wrong being called a woman gives me the same amount of dysphoria but it happens much less now and this kind of dysphoria is incredibly infuriating bc it's usually done by other queer people who unquestionably support gender conforming afab people's genders/sexuality but god forbid the bitch w a beard tries to say they're a dyke that likes women bc obviously he's just a silly little smol gay boy!!
#never knew how much dysphoria being called a man would cause me until it happens constantly now and I feel like hitting people with brooms#what's even more annoying is I can't express this to my family at all bc they're already confused and I think#if I tried to explain to them that I am simply a gender queer butch dyke who likes other gnc people and wants to look like jack black#their heads would explode#so I have to just keep letting them assume I'm a Binary Trans Man and it's simply. exhausting#esp bc my mom would insist I shouldn't be on t or get top surgery if I'm ✨still a woman✨#which I'm not but that's immediately how she'd take it
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the thing is i'm so ready for this semester to be over buuuut i really don't want to go on summer break... maybe it would be nice if i didn't have to work but like. lol. basically i just hate the feeling of not really relaxing but not having a structured way to work on my actual goals and interests.
#i couldn't take summer classes my school barely offers the classes i need during the school year#so i'm just working more hours. whatever e will be in town that will be really wonderful and obviously i can draw and make art#but i just like. i like being in school! beat me take my blood whatever#i hated this semester which i knew i would like i just had to get these classes over with i fully predicted this#but next semester i have an actual drawing class and also. imagination class.... which is.... i'm unsure what to expect. but.#it's called imagination visual literacy actually but i will be calling it imagination class bc i think it's funny#ig visual literacy is a real thing. which is very fascinating so i'm excited#i also have 3d modeling which i'm a bit afeared of but every time i'm scared of a class it ends up not being that bad bc then i remember#that i'm a capable adult and not a helpless child that will collapse if i get a little confused#and it's online which i think may actually help bc i can like pause the lecture and replay parts and stuff#BASICALLY i'm just very sick of my classes and i want to move on to things i'm actually interested in but i have to just work all summer.#i'm just ready to keep goingggg like let's goooo why are we stopping
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i noticed the vinland saga anime makes einar more aggressive which feels weird when it's his first day working with thorfinn lol. in the manga it feels our more optimistic and good-faithed einar's trying to have thorfinn support him in informing of them not being treated well, while in the anime einar has a much shorter temper and is yelling at thorfinn, almost like thorfinn's getting in the way of einar's freedom.
after snake's intro, the anime adds a completely new conversation: einar expressing how he knows cruel men dont think of weak people as human and that snake's men would kill them if snake didnt stop them, and thorfinn dispassionately says its inevitable, and anime einar gets mad. i personally think it'd be ooc for thorfinn at that point to have said that (not that he wouldnt think that, but elaborating it like that sounds like he's conscious of the fact he's given up, when i think he's just been running on autopilot), but einar there getting angry at him for saying that is, again, weird.
the anime also adds a scene where einar outright tells him what he should say (compared to complaining that hes not doing smth), and thorfinn doesnt say anything, which makes him seem purposely stubborn instead of just being a fucked up person that doesnt even understand a non-harmful action done to him. the scene also doesnt make sense when the chapter where this happens in the manga, einar embarrassed says "you could at least say thanks or something!" and thorfinn agrees and says it back, having learned it.
einar continues being baffled by thorfinn's attitude, and in ch 60 i think its important he spends most of it deciding what to make of thorfinn, which the anime kind of keeps, but instead we now have a suspicious einar making bad faith assumptions of a clearly depressed guy who has been honest in answering einar's questions.
i already said why i strongly disagree with this entire scene, and i still feel that way. it sucks the anime turned our new protag who is supposed to be an opposite of thorfinn, into a character like the rest and not even acknowledge it.
i noticed einar in the anime is a bit less full of life, though in comparison to the rest of the cast, he's probably still regarded as most optimistic, but he does have kind of a different vibe. einar's intro in the manga feels like he's very willing to lend sympathy and isnt afraid to ask for it and feel entitled to being treated fairly, while anime einar kinda gets to the point of being angry much quicker, which he wouldnt do with someone similar to him, as shown by his ability to not take his anger out on thorfinn. his perceptiveness in judging others for fairness is turned into him looking for reasons to fuel his hate and an inability to understand, and einar in the anime ends up yelling at thorfinn to be grateful to be alive instead of showing thorfinn kindness. its very disappointing how much the anime changed him and then acted like they didnt later
#personal#i think u couldve justified it if he knew thorfinn was a warrior immediately but i still dont agree w what the anime does anyway#i think this attitude leads to that added shitty moment. hes more angry at ppl that dont deserve it#even later when he shoves thorfinn i think that makes more sense bc its clear theyre friends and its not a serious action#i think such a positive guy as einar would just be baffled at thorfinn's initial apathetic attitude. not get pissed at him#i think its a bad take for our good guy. einar is normal and not fearful or hateful. thorfinn finally confused asks why hes like that#and einar's like 'because we are friends??' but thorfinn still barely knows what that means
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half 11 at night gender hits different
#i have been having. a weird fucking time#lile everything i thought i knew about myself is a lie kind of weird#like ive been keeping a whole tidal wave back#keeping it ina. box i didnt even know was there most of the time#everytime it tried to get out i shoved it back in so automatically i mostly didnt realise i was doing it#bc man is it uncomfortable#but i am only left with emptiness and disconnect#and everytime i shoved it back in the box got smaller and it was harder to shove back in#and here we are now#and its baffling and it doesnt make any sense but its the only thing that feels like it makes sense and it feels right to step towards it#but im not shoving it in the box again#i could life would be much simpler if i did but id carry on watching the girl in the mirror who's never been real live it instead#and i think sooner or later the box would fucking shatter anyway#WHOO#anywayyy thats enough hyperpersonal life updating for tonight 🤣#it's a very confusing time but also exciting and I've never been more hopeful that this might actually be it#im not ready to say what i think i am yet i can barely say it to myself in plain words but I'll get there 💜#mine#gender adventures with neednoggle#maybe delete later
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do you think liam and stone would be friends if they ever met outside of The Plane again
HMM!!!
(put under a readmore cus i ended up talking a LOT lol :) )
i think they could be friends!!! i think stone liked the contestants. while im pretty sure stone picked liam to give the notes to 1) because he is a backpack. he can hold notes. and 2) he seems the MOST stubborn of all of the contestants, so think compared to the chance for things to end well (or at least, the best they COULD end), liam was the best bet to pick thru all possible courses of action
but even outside of that stone generally seems to like them all, helping bryce when he didnt need to, visibly looking guilty for having to sabotage amelia, etc. i think they showed liam one of the notes bc they WANTED him to understand that theyre trying to help, and i think there was a chance hed understand, but he just happened to Not. with everything we know abt stone (which unfortunately isnt much), he looks like he WANTS to help them because he cares, and i think they wouldve liked to be friends with them, and to have met all of them under better circumstances. (he obv knows about the concept of friends because he knows everything, but i think they dont really get many opportunities to meet New people given. being from a world of Just rocks) point is that i think stone would love to be friends w liam!!
whether or not LIAM would wanna b friends is a diff question tho. liam doesnt seem like the type of guy whod necessarily hold anything against stone, since he gradually seems to respect stone more and more as he follows the notes, but i think there Could be some discomfort there. if stone hadnt written the notes, he never wouldve gone to bryce, he never wouldve died a bunch more times, and he never wouldve gotten stuck in airys world. but then again, if they hadnt written them, if airy had still died, all of the contestants couldve been trapped on the plane literally forever, and julien wouldve been stuck in the waiting room forever
i think liam would still think about stone pretty fondly, and historically he hasnt really been concerned about 'people who could remind him of his time on the plane, but 'well this person reminds me of my time on the plane' given everything with bryce, but during all that he was still very much. not in the mentality of being at home. (after he got home, he seems to REALLY still feel stuck on the plane, esp if what he says to bryce is anything to go off of) it could be very different once hes home, and because? i think stone ended up kinda STILL being with him thru s2, just symbolically. so i think it could be complicated for liam
but all of this aside? i think any discomfort he may feel would maybe be set to the side. liams pretty passive by nature, and i think being able to be friends with stone would actually kinda end up giving him a sense of closure about some things!!! most of his interactions with stone WERE somewhat strained, but i think liam wouldnt rly even think abt that
i dunno!!! but i think theyd make good friends if they had the opportunity to meet again. liam makes conversation pretty easy when he wants to, even though its not smth he especially goes out of his way to do, but i think when he would like to he can be VERY annoying abt it. if he wanted some level of Knowing stone, because i think it could be Nice to have stone be less of this ominous figure whos motives werent super clear but did ultimately help (assuming in this hypothetical he and stone meet again on earth, but i think in airys world stone could be. actually pretty nice for him to meet again? dont know!) and instead this Person who helped him and his friends, he would be a bit stubborn about it, and maybe a bit awkward about it, but i think stone would be okay with it. stone seems very 'reluctantly WILL do things for the greater good but would like to do helpful things that DONT make people upset instead. wants to just get along with people but just ISNT in a situation where they can' and also generally patient (i think they have to be patient given the world theyre from) so i think itd work out!!!!
anyway this post is long and idrk how clear it is BUT its fun to think abt!!!! idk how liam would get the chance to meet stone again but i would LOVE if it did happen
#hfjone#ask#i actually sometimes consider the idea of all of the stones in stones world functioning as a hivemind#and stone being teleported out didnt so much as sever that but that if this was the case maybe? he still had the information they always wi#but made them smth of an offshoot of the hivemind but not separated from it. like a new mushroom#and i think that would make stone have a complex idea of having friends but thats an inherently very interconnected existence#but thats not really relevant to this post#well it kinda is but not super relevant#also sidenote that i was somewhat confused for a while on why stone is so big compared to the rocks in their world#but also batch 2 commenting on some of them being larger than they are in their own world implies that being sent to the plane#kinda like. scales ppl?#and also gives them a general form that may be a bit divorced from what they look like in their own world#like w texty being outside of their 'body' (aka laptop)#so i think. stone on earth? might be a bit tiny. w no limbs#since the stones in his world dont have any. and also i think the eyes r figurative and they dont literally have them#whenn the flashlight shows all of them??#so stone might literally just end up looking like a random rock if they were on earth#but i gotta think abt that more#ok im getting off track#TY for the ask i love an opportunity to talk abt stone i wish we knew more abt him#for a while stone was my 2nd fav!!! now its amelia (who had been 3rd) but stone is STILL means so much to me
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thinking about loz byler au again (breath of the wild specifically rn) and my brain keeps going "oooh the party as the champions" bc it sounds like it works out PERFECTLY there are 6 people in the party there's 6 champions if we count link and zelda, who are obviously mike and will, and then I remember that this would mean 4 of them have to be dead for like. the entirety of the main plot
#and other issues#like anyway the way I'm thinking about this is max=urbosa lucas=revali dustin=daruk el=mipha#it wouldn't be a direct one to one thing obviously. for a variety of reasons#idk like it sounds good on instinct and then I start thinking about the specifics of it and get confused idk I wish I could solve problems#bc like. details related to each specific champion and whatnot. like. urbosa knew zelda's mom. that can't work#and then like. who would be the champion's successors then?#I think el in mipha's position would work pretty well actually which is making me want to fit#the rest of the party in the other roles but it doesn't work the same. well actually no lucas and dustin are fine#probably bc revali and daruk are each Just Some Guy#whereas urbosa and mipha are characters who have actual history with link and zelda#and therefore more details in the lore that you have to work around#ok the issue is mostly max as urbosa and then the things with the champion's successors#like. mipha has a little brother. el does not. and I mean it could be any family member theoretically but that's kind of confusing for el#IDKKK#I'm thinking about this too hard bc its not like I'm gonna do anything with it#I should think about the skyward sword loz au instead that one's easier#only questions you have to answer there are who gets to be groose and who's impa#I can't figure those out either#loz byler
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