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ohshitmomitsawritingblog · 4 years

Note

Yeesss an active Naruto account! So glad I found you 💗 I really like how you portrayed Kakashi in your last post and I would like to request J, O and Y for Kakashi and Hidan pls 💕

Yeaahhhhh!! nart fandom is still going strong even in 2020! I started to re-read nart back in November of ‘19 and was really surprised at how active the fandom still was on twitter and tumblr. Im really glad you decided to shoot me a message! I really appreciate it, thank you so much! I’ll be real I saw your message and kind of lost it a little today, I was very nervous about Kakashi’s section so it’s really nice to hear that someone liked it!

Kakashi

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Jealous? Kakashi? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes? No! Maybe. 💕

Kakashi DOES NOT know how to function 80% of the time. It takes him a while to sort out his personal feelings - he thinks he knows what he feels, but when it comes to emotions, like jealousy, that demand a bit more naunce? It feels like fog is clouding over the word he’d otherwise be able to plainly zero in on.

Kakashi’s jealousy is quiet and something he fiercely keeps under wraps. I think there’s nothing that matters more to him in a relationship than his partner’s freedom and sense of self esteem, and I think he views jealousy as a kind of ownership/overstep he should be ashamed of rather than a human emotion that is neither inherently good nor bad by itself.

Kakshi gets jealous rarely, but when he does, it’s hard to swallow the feeling of shame that accompanies it.

Kakashi is a prodigy, okay, he’s an amazing ninja and cook and house keeper amongst many other things, but he’s still really, really bad at the nuances of being human. Especially a human who isn’t ruled by his PTSD. His S/O spends too much time at work during his rare off day, and the rare pang of jealousy - that he does not act on in any way - makes him so uncomfortable that he has to busy himself with something until they get home. And then he almost seems stand offish. It’s his way of giving them space, but his S/O couldn’t understand the reasoning behind it unless they spend years with him or have several conversations about it.

Basically, he’s spent so much of his life truly alone, socializing largely in a work environment context, that he has no idea how to operate in a domestic relationship.

On the flip side, Kakashi is so hellbent on hammering down the little every day pangs of petty jealousy he feels that when something big happens, like a stranger flirting with his S/O? He sticks his nose into the situation immediately.

If it wasn’t sad it’d almost be hilarious - Kakashi can’t tell the difference the difference between situational, and relatively minor emotional bangs that feel similar to jealousy, to outright being DEEPLY territorial of his S/O.

Does he think they’ll flirt back? Hell no. Does he immediately chase off the guy with a well timed arm slung over his S/O’s shoulders and a bit of killing intent rolling off him in waves anyways? Absolutely.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Kakashi in love doesn’t show that he’s in love often. He’s a secretive guy and honestly, if he’s in love, he’s going to try to hide it as long as possible. From everyone.

This is only partially because Kakashi is shy about love - about 60% of the reason behind keeping things private is because he wants to hit that sweet ten year anniversary date and throw that fact out casually during a group luncheon and see the chaos unfold.

He also does legitimately struggle with being open and intimate. He worries his S/O will think he’s embarrassed by them, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Kakashi in love is all about small intimacies. The brush of his fingers over his S/O’s bicep, the touch to the small of their back. Kakashi is surprisingly handsy, even in public.

Of course, he’s a ninja, and he’s a little self conscious, so he usually does this in such a way that people don’t even catch it.

He doesn’t hold hands in public, no way.

He never lets them walk on his blind side. He just likes looking at them.

I can see Kakashi liking to touch his S/O’s hair often. He’ll pat the top of their head if they’re on the shorter side, tucking a stray lock behind their ear if their hair is long enough. There’s something so intimate about it, and Kakashi likes how quiet that touch feels to him. Sometimes it feels even better than kissing his S/O.

He picks them up from work most days, and they walk home together. In fact, the biggest tell that Kakashi is in love is when he spends most of his evenings with his S/O.

He cooks for, or more typically, with, his S/O almost every night. He likes spending quality, domestic time with them. It’s his way of slowly wading back into the very concept of cohabiting with someone after years of being alone.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Kakashi misses his partner a lot. I’m going to assume the most common reason for their separation is missions.

Kakashi as a young adult seemed married to his ANBU career, with his S/O as a side chick at best.

Post team seven, he’s a little better with his schedule, but Tsunade relies on him a lot and it’s not like he can just tell her no.

And then as Hokage? Well, actually sneaking out of the office seems to be like a fun new game to him, so–

Anyways, I think Kakashi copes pretty well, if only because separation is a constant in his life.

I think he has times where he’ll space out thinking about his S/O in the wee hours of the night when he can’t sleep. Otherwise, he’s focused on the mission. He needs to make it out of his assignments alive in order to see them again after all, and Kakashi post team seven doesn’t have a death wish.

If he has an S/O during his ANBU days, his thoughts are more obsessive, fixated on the only source of warmth in his life that he’s allowed himself to have. I can imagine a few scenarios when he’s with someone in this very dark period of his life, and the entire thing could only be described as intense.

Anyways, pining is for people who can afford to get stabbed.

Ultimately, I don’t think anyone could ever tell Kakashi was missing anyone. He may seem a little quietly sad in moments, or maybe sigh for no reason, but I doubt anyone even knows he’s with anyone for years. See the above section.

Hidan

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Surprisingly, I don’t see Hidan as a jealous guy!

If he is jealous at all, it’s over something minuscule and ultimately harmless, like being apart for a large gap of time.

He doesn’t think his S/O would cheat (he’s a man devoted to god and his faith, has a blooming career AND a six pack, what more could a person want?) but it’s more so longing that turns into jealousy only when he toys with the idea of his S/O not feeling the same kind of longing. He wants his partner to mirror his feelings and doesn’t like feeling like his absence is easily glossed over. He totally gets into his own head and overthinks things.

He’s the type to gripe at his S/O. I feel like whining and slinging around insults is how Hidan communicates best and it gets even worse when he feels threatened or anxious.

He actually needs verbal reassurances a lot.

He’ll keep bitching until his S/O consoles him or speaks frankly with him.

I think Hidan’s partner is someone who could take care of themselves, so if they were ever the subject of unwanted attention, Hidan would step only to play up some white knight fantasy gone rogue. He’ll beat up (or murder) the offender and then make out with his S/O like some horny wild man.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Hidan in love is actually pretty low key. I think for Hidan, there’s flings, and then there’s the person he loves, who he’s gonna settle down with. He just assumes his life will be full of flings that are mostly for sexual gratification until he meets his S/O.

Totally does not expect to fall in love, ever, so he has no idea how to deal with it when it happens.

I think he prays a lot more when he’s in love. For spiritual clarity or forgiveness for these ‘weak’ feelings in him that presumably conflict with the teachings of Jashin, I’m not sure.

Kakuzu notices this and bitches at Hidan for wasting their time, but eventually stops when even he realizes how much conflict Hidan seems to radiate off of him in the early days of his romance.

Hidan also gets more violent, as if to compensate for being in love with his S/O. He goes on a straight up killing spree once he completely admits it to himself.

Comes to the conclusion that being in love actually makes him a better follower of Jashin, since he slaughters droves of people for the sake of your relationship.

Around his S/O, Hidan seemingly goes from incredibly tense and broody -almost guilt ridden in some odd way - when he hangs out with them, to something flipping a switch in his head and him going back to his normal, brash self. It’s weird. He kiss his S/O like he’s trying to eat them in public now. It’s kind of hot.

Hidan is such a freak that even the Akatsuki, which is a collection of freaks, don’t get that this entire slow burn horror movie scenario was over love until Hidan very loudly complains that he was interrupted mid-fuck during a summons. Someone mentions paying the sex worker extra for the interrupted time and tells him to get some ice.

Hidan scuffs and loudly announces that he’s with his PARTNER right now. Kakuzu confirms but only sounds mildly annoyed because he’a eating Hidan’s S/O’s food and watching Hidan’s S/O’s TV.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Hidan pouts. So much.

Typically if it’s just a few weeks or days, Hidan doesn’t really give any outward indication of missing his S/O. He knows he’ll see them soon. He’s a chill guy when he’s not murdering people for pleasure and religious clout. The longer that gap of time is though? He goes from ambivalent to mess FAST.

It’s like someone flipped a switch after month three of his not seeing his S/O and someone brings them up and he’s like. Wait. When’s the last time I saw them again? And then his brain fuzzes out of existence momentarily when he does the math.

For real: Hidan is one of those guys who tries to be real macho about his S/O and him being apart for so long, but once he starts to think about it it eats him up.

He goes from trying too hard to insist he doesn’t miss them, to sulking on day two. Kakuzu wants to kill Hidan at least 200% more than usual because when Hidan sulks, he’s like a little kid.

He gets this sour look that just never goes away. He hunches his shoulders. Kicks the dirt or gravel on the road when they stop to rest for the day. Kakuzu would be inclined to ask what’s wrong but he knows better to open that can of worms.

Also does he really care about this undead shithead kid’s emotional problems? Only kind of.

He’s a ninja, not a therapist, and he’s making ninja money. Does Hidan have therapist money? Hidan doesn’t even have shirt money.

The pouty phase lasts for a while. It becomes less apparent, but as it turns inwards, Hidan becomes more violent.

Ahh, good ol’ Murder-violence! He gets more aggressive (if that’s possible) and prays more. Way more.

On a more serious note, it does actually give Hidan solace to pray and affirm that if Jashin wills it, he and his S/O will see each other soon. He promises his Lord a plentiful sacrifice when that happens.

Once he sees his S/O again he pretends like he’s totally chill absolutely chill and didn’t even miss them one bit! He ruffles their hair and gives them that rough side hug that jocky, slightly redneck older cousins give.

#praisingkuroosbedhead #kakashi x oc #kakashi x reader #hidan x oc #hidan x reader #hidan imagines #kakashi imagines #naruto imagines #i hope hidan is okay ive never written for him before #it got a little silly and weirdly detailed but i had fun #Hidan is a hoot #fluff alphabet #kakashi hatake #hidan

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soulofatiny · 5 years

Text

No fear, I’m here...Ch.4: “Gremlin”

-warning(s): minor mentions of symptoms of anxiety

-word count: 4k

-a|n: here is the 4th chapter! there’s finally some signs of character development beginning and i’m super excited! i’m honestly a hoe for character development

happy reading!

Ch.5

masterlist

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“Goodnight, y/n.”

“Goodnight, Hongjoong.”

You finally opened the door to your guest bedroom, fighting off the unsettling feeling that resided deep within you as you entered. Shutting the door behind you, you clutched onto your chest along with the silky fabric of the dress. What was this uncomfortable sensation you were feeling? Were you ill? No, you’ve felt this way before in the past many years ago, the same displeasing nostalgia that has been haunting you throughout your lifetime. You felt your heart beating faster as your chest was getting tighter and tighter.

“Breathe…just breathe.”

You spoke these words often… even though breathing was supposed to be an automatic maneuver for the human body, you still felt the need to remind yourself as soon as you felt your heart rate picking up, restricting the space in your chest.

After inhaling and exhaling for a couple of minutes, the weighty pounding of your heart managed to subside as it gradually went back to its normal rate. Dropping the hand that was clutching onto your dress, you switched the light switch on as the brightness illuminated throughout the room, finally taking in your surroundings. The first thing that caught your attention besides the spacious room was the window that engulfed the farthest wall of the room completely. Something that was an ongoing theme for this entire mansion, large windows. Whoever designed this mansion must’ve admired the view that the world had to offer. You continued to trail your eyes, examining the room. A bed that was rather expansive in size laid on the center of the right wall. It was definitely way too big compared to what you were used to back in your small studio apartment. The floors had the same marble tiles that were used in the hallway and simplistic art was hanged on several areas of the wall. All in all, it was minimalistic and chic except for the sheer vast amount of space that differed from your usual lifestyle.

Suddenly, you were startled out of your thoughts as someone knocked on the door behind you. You peaked through the peephole on the door and saw Seonghwa standing there with a bag in his hand, patiently waiting for you to open the door.

What did he want…? You checked your forearms, making sure you still had your blades on you, the tip of the sharp weapon ready to make its appearance if necessary before you opened the door.

“Hey, y/n! I’m glad you’re still awake. I wanted to give you this,” he extended the arm that held the bag in front of you, “it’s a set of pajamas. I didn’t think you would want to sleep in what you were wearing now.”

You retracted the blades further back into your leather sleeves, seeing the coast was clear, and reached to grab the bag but something within you wanted to poke fun at him, “what’s wrong with what I’m wearing now?”

Seonghwa widened his eyes and waved his hands speedily, “Oh no! No, nothing’s wrong. It’s a really nice dress. I just wanted to make sure you were comforta–“

You chuckled quietly as he continued to banter and a blush began to spread across his cheeks. His cute behavior contrasted greatly from the flirtatious mature demeanor he portrayed back at Fellaz. You finally grabbed the bag from him, being content with teasing him, “I’m just kidding, Seonghwa. Thank you. I appreciate it,” you smiled up at him. Seonghwa smiled back, as the pink tint still briefly remained on his cheeks. “It’s no problem at all. Goodnight, y/n. I hope you’ll sleep well, yeah?”

“Yeah, you too. Goodnight, Seonghwa,” you replied as you both shared one last look at each other and closed the door. You changed into the pajamas that was given to you and head to bed, feeling the much needed rest hitting you deeply. As soon as you laid your head onto the soft fluffy pillow, sleep engulfed you entirely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Nana……Nana…….”

What’s going on?

“Nana…”

Who’s calling me..?

“Nana! Are you paying attention?”

You looked up to your new teacher, “Miss…”

“Professor! Just call me Professor. Now, come on! Let’s go meet your brother.”

You nodded and followed your Professor back out to the hallway. Her heels clacked loudly and you looked to notice that it was a peculiar color that contrasted from her white lab coat immensely. You tried to inspect it closer but still found it strange no matter how much you examined it.

“Professor…”

The taller woman looked down at you and brought her pen to her clipboard, getting ready to write something down, “Yes, Nana?”

“Your shoes…what color is it?”

She looked down at her shoes and nodded in understanding, “Ah, I see. They probably didn’t show you what ‘colors’ were back at the phase-one training, I’m assuming.”

You nodded, “Yes, but I am familiar with the vocabulary. Please teach me.”

Your teacher smiled widely at you, “Yes of course! My shoes are blue. For example, the ocean is usually portrayed by this color as well.”

“Blue…” you whispered to yourself as you looked at her heels, trying to memorize the newfound color you’ve learned.

The Professor finished jotting down her notes and looked back at you, “Yes, now come on. We’re almost there!”

You both continued to walk down the hallway until she stopped at one of the doors, “Set is in here. He should already know that you’re coming and he’ll fill you in on how things work around here, okay?”

She looked at you expectantly, awaiting your answer.

“Yes, thank you, Professor,” you bowed at the older woman.

“Great! I will see you around Nana!” At that, the professor walked away, the clacking of her heels growing quieter and quieter as the distance between the two of you increased.

You turned to the big metal door in front of you, reached for the knob, and entered.

You walked inside without making a single sound, something you grew in habit of during your phase one training. The room was average size with a bunk bed on the left corner of the room. On the bottom bunk, you saw a boy around your age that was laying down on his back, reading a book. He looked so absorbed in it that you bet he wouldn’t even notice you even if you made a sound. The book was covering his face from your point of view so you moved a little closer.

“You must be Nana,” the boy suddenly uttered without moving from his current position.  “Y-Yes. You’re Set?” you mumbled softly.

The boy finally sat up, setting his book to the side, and answered, “Yeah, nice to finally meet you, Nana.”

You examined Set’s features. He had dark, slightly wavy locks that covered his forehead and had big brown eyes. But what caught your attention the most was the soft pink-hued birthmark that settled next to his left eye. You realized that you were staring for too long and looked down.

Set noticed your nervousness and reassured you, “You don’t have to be nervous. I know this is new, but we’ve been assigned as siblings so if you have any questions, don’t be afraid to ask.” Set smiled at you softly, hoping it would encourage you to be more comfortable but instead you were confused.

“Nervous..? Afraid…? Is this what I am feeling?” You questioned out loud but more towards for your own self. You were beginning to learn all types of emotions and label them to match your current feelings. Set knew that you wouldn’t understand at first. After all, he also went through the same exact thing when he first arrived at the phase-two institution.

“Yeah, that’s most likely what you’re feeling. It’s okay you’ll get used to it soon.”

You looked at the boy in front of you, “Set…how long have you been here?”

“Two years, so I was eight-years-old when I got here.”

Your eyes widened in shock, “How could anyone be able to finish all of their training at age eight?”

Set laughed at your reaction, “I’m only the third person who got here. I think the two before me came here at age seven.”

You whispered, “Wow,” again, more to yourself but Set still managed to hear it and continued, “I would’ve been able to graduate earlier but I sort of struggled with combat training. They actually let me graduate because my academic score was the highest they’ve ever received.”

You saw his cheesy grin and you knew he was proud of himself. Suddenly, your voice came out in a rhythm pattern without your control. Your eyes grew wide as you covered your mouth as Set laughed even harder, “You just laughed for the first time!”

You laughed again…you were laughing. You clutched onto your stomach, as you continued to laugh. You couldn’t really breathe as comfortably but you didn’t dislike the feeling.

You smiled wide, “Set! I think I like laughing!”

To that, Set stared at you for some time before replying, “I think I like it when you laugh too,” sharing your happiness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You jumped awake.

The sunlight that entered from the large window reflected onto your newly opened eyes from resting. You brought your arm up, letting the sleeve of your pajamas cover your eyes so you could have your momentary darkness again. You knew it was roughly 7:00 am because you have an internal alarm clock that woke you up automatically every morning. You’ve always cursed this function, especially this morning since you dreamt about your first meeting with Set. It may have been a dream, but you knew deep inside that it was actually your memories.

Where could Set have gone…? Why isn’t he in your life anymore…? You truly wished you didn’t wake up so you could’ve continued your dream, desperate to find the answers to your many questions.

“How could I have forgotten you…” your voice struggling to rasp out due to your dry throat.

After debating if you should leave the guest bedroom, you eventually decided to so you could observe the mansion more.

You swiftly exited out of the room without making a single sound, the same habit that stuck around with you since you were ten-years-old.

The mansion was quiet, everyone was probably still asleep. Honestly, you didn’t know where to go or what you’re exactly looking for. You just needed to find something to report to your boss at least once a week. You kept walking, hoping that you’ll end up somewhere until a door you just passed by opened suddenly.

“Y/n? You’re up already?”

You turned around to see the owner of the voice. It’s Jongho.

“Hey, Jongho. Yeah, I always wake up around this time. I wanted something to drink but I think I’m lost,” you silently hoped that you didn’t seem suspicious but Jongho chuckled, indicating that you’re probably safe.

“Yeah, it’s a big place. I’ll show you where the kitchen is at.”

“Cool, thanks.”

Jongho nodded and led you towards the way. You both walked in silence, maybe this was a good time for you to gather information. Just when you were about to speak, Jongho beat you to it instead, “Were you able to sleep well?”

You nodded, you didn’t really know what to say about your rest. Sleeping is just…sleeping. Something that’s a necessity for the human body.

“Are the others awake too?” you questioned, not knowing what to expect.

Jongho laughed, “If you’re wondering if you have to see Yunho’s dumb face, then no. That guy doesn’t wake up until almost noon so you’re safe.”

You stifled a chuckle, “Thank goodness… but what about the others? For real this time.”

You both arrived at the kitchen. Jongho reached towards the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water for you before answering, “Hmm let’s see. Seonghwa, Yeosang, Hongjoong and Mingi are usually the first ones awake. Seonghwa goes to the market every morning and buys groceries to cook breakfast for us so he should be back anytime by now. Yeosang on the other hand, wakes up early but stays in his room until breakfast is ready. Hongjoong stays in his office to sort out missions and Mingi usually follows him to help him. Wooyoung actually sleeps even later than Yunho, usually past noon. No one really complains though because we save money on breakfast. And San, it really depends for him. He could either be sleeping the entire day away or wake up around this time like me to go work out in the training room. Which, I’m sure he must be waiting for me down at the basement.”

As if on cue, Seonghwa enters the kitchen with his arms full of grocery bags.

“Ah, see I was right,” Jongho nudged your arm lightly, “Morning, hyung. That’s a lot of bags you got there.”

Seonghwa placed all of the bags on the island counter, slightly out of breath, “Morning, guys! There was a sale! Oh and y/n, I got some clothes that you can change into for when you go back to your place to pack your things.”

You stood there astonished. This was not what you’ve expected from a crew of deadly members… Joking around is one thing but their lifestyles seemed…normal.

Were they pulling an act so you won’t find out about their true selves?

What were they hiding?

Seonghwa and Jongho exchanged eye contact, not knowing why you fell silent. “Y/n…are you okay?” Seonghwa asked as both he and Jongho looked ‘genuinely’ concerned.

They must be good actors…

“Yeah, I’m alright. It’s just… you all seem really close and.. normal.”

“It’s because we’re like family. No, we are family,” Jongho stated confidently. Hongjoong said the same exact thing last night. How could their leader and their maknae be able to sync so well together despite the major difference in levels of authority…? You truly couldn’t comprehend how it was possible.

Seonghwa added on, “Y/n, we’re really close because we’ve all been through tough times together. We were lucky to be able to build that relationship to where it’s standing today. Hongjoong and I didn’t get along at all at first…but now I can’t imagine life without him.”

“Ew, hyung, sappy much?~” Jongho joked with his older member, earning him a smack on his nape.

“Well, I really gotta go now. San is going to kill me. I’ll see you guys at breakfast!” Jongho fleed, leaving you and Seonghwa alone.

With the absence of the maknae’s energetic presence, you and Seonghwa felt some sort of silence that was a little awkward but you both didn’t dislike it.

“Can I help you make breakfast? It must be tough to cook for the entire group.”

Seonghwa smiled, appreciating your offer, “I love cooking since it’s a hobby of mine so I really don’t mind, but I would love the help! I’m thinking about making omelettes and french toast.”

You nodded, “Sounds goo-“

“What are you two doing here?”

Oh no…it’s that voice. His voice. You and Seonghwa both turned around, seeing that Yunho standing there.

“Yunho! You woke up early today and you’re not half asleep either~” Seonghwa joked with his younger member but Yunho’s eyes remained on you. Seonghwa immediately felt the tension taking over the kitchen and continued, “Y/n is here to help me make breakfast! Isn’t that nice of her?” he emphasized every word of the last sentence, almost threatening Yunho to agree. You expected Yunho to say some sarcastic remark but you thought wrong.

“Sure. Can I help too?”

“What?” you and Seonghwa both blurted out at the same time. It would’ve been a comical moment but you two were seriously confused at his unexpected answer.

“I want to help too. Make breakfast, that is.”

You stayed silent, not knowing what to say this time but Seonghwa was quick to agree, almost too enthusiastically.

“Great! Then Yunho, will you crack the eggs? Y/n you can begin cooking it on the frying pan when Yunho is done. I’ll work on the french toasts.”

Yunho nodded, but you still stared at him. Honestly not knowing what he’s thinking. When Seonghwa turned to work on the toasts, Yunho moved to the counter where the eggs and the bowl were, ignoring your stare. Really, just what was he thinking? He didn’t even apologize for his rude remark last night. Seriously, this boy didn’t have a single drop of mannerism within him.

“Hey, gremlin. Are you going to help or are you going to keep staring?”

Oh no…you sensed the cheekiness in his voice.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer~”

And there it was. Honestly, it was way too early to fight back. Yunho looked at you with a cocky grin, the stupid grin that you wanted to smack off of his face. Obviously content, he turned back to the bowl with an egg in his hand. You expected him to crack an egg like a normal person, but then you remembered that Yunho wasn’t normal and he smashed the egg on the corner of the bowl with full force, causing the egg shells to fly all over the counter and into the bowl. Even then, you decided to be nice and stayed quiet, giving Yunho a chance to redeem himself because after all, every single human being could crack an eg—

*CRACK*

You stared at Yunho, appalled. He broke the bowl….

You could tell Yunho was flustered by the way his shoulders tensed, “Don’t say a single wor-“

A laugh escaped from you, quick to cover your mouth but you still couldn’t help yourself as you continued to laugh despite doing your best to block it. Yunho watched you in shock as you laughed, arm propped against the counter for support. This was the first time he’s ever heard you laugh. Not the fake chuckles you let out occasionally that he really dislikes, but a true, authentic laugh.

“Gremlin, you-“

“What’s going on?” Seonghwa bursts in observing the situation. He was about to ask what you were laughing about until his eyes laid on the broken bowl on the counter next to Yunho.

“You broke my favorite bowl!” Seonghwa picked up the shards, clearly upset over his fine china.

“Sorry, hyung. I’ll buy you a new one. Um...I’m gonna go before I break anything else.” Yunho walked out, leaving Seonghwa distressed and with you finally collecting yourself.

When Yunho left the kitchen, he leaned against the wall of the hallway as his hand was covering his deeply flushed cheeks.

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The members all began gathering at the dining table one by one, a tradition that they liked to at least attempt to keep, to eat breakfast together. According to Seonghwa, it didn’t always work out because some of the members slept in so you were surprised to see that everyone was present this morning, even Wooyoung who supposedly usually slept past noon. You made eye contact with Yeosang and he pulled the seat next to him and you sat down.

“Hyung, I thought today was omelette day?” Wooyoung announced.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Seonghwa replied bluntly as Yunho twitched a little in his seat. Wooyoung nodded, happy even with just french toast, “Let’s dig in!”

Everyone hummed in agreement until Hongjoong stood up, a glass of orange juice in his hand, “Let’s make a toast to our new member, y/n!” The rest of the members collectively joined with their respective drinks of coffee, tea, and orange juice, all cheering. Wooyoung grabbed Yunho’s arm and lifted it for him along with his own drink, “Cheers!”

After the members finished eating and carried their plates to the sink, they all dispersed back to their individual activities or missions. You saw Hongjoong placing his plate into the sink so you walked up to him.

“Hey, Hongjoong. Can I go get my stuff at my place? It shouldn’t take long…”

“Of course,” he smiled at you until he spoke again, voice softer this time, “You don’t have to ask to go out, you know? I trust every single one of my members. I just expect them to stick with their responsibilities but other than that, they all have complete freedom. They’re not robots…”

You nodded, things were definitely different here. It’s strange how something fluttered in your stomach at the thought of that.

“Y/n, I’ll send someone that’s available to help you. Just wait at the entrance, okay?”

“Okay, thank you.”

“It’s no problem at all, y/n.”

∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘

You’ve been waiting at the entrance for almost 20 minutes now… You were fixing to leave without any help until you heard him.

“Gremlin, where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you.”

You turned to look at Yunho, of course…the help was him.

“I’ve been waiting at the entrance like Hongjoong told me to for the past 20 minutes,” you hated wasting time more than anything.

“That’s the guest entrance. No one showed you the member’s entrance?”

“No…”

“Fine, I’ll show you,” Yunho reached to hold your wrist but you yanked it back a little too harsh to the point that it even surprised you.

“It’s fine… let’s go,” you walked past him as he retracted his hand.

The “member’s entrance” was actually a garage, you noted. Yunho opened the garage door and you were about to walk out until he stopped you, “What are you doing? We’re not walking there,” he tilted his head over to the cars that were aligned perfectly. Each car was spotless and looked brand new. It was luxurious and normal people definitely would’ve loved to ride the lavish cars but when you thought about having to get in the car, you suddenly felt nauseous. The negative memories of you being transported to different training institutions flashed across your mind, the only times you’ve ever ridden a car.

Yunho noticed you not following him, “Gremlin, come on. The sooner we finish this the better-“

“I can’t.”

“What?” Yunho turned back at you to complain but he noticed your complexion being paler than usual with a weary expression on your face.

“Nothing, let’s go,” you swallowed your anxiousness, opened the door, and sat on the passenger’s side, buckling yourself in with shaky hands.

‘Breathe…just breathe…You’re not going to another training base…’ you reminded yourself in your head. Yunho followed and switched the key in ignition. He drove out of the garage and head for your apartment, asking you directions every now and then as you mumbled back.

Only ten more minutes to go until you reach there, it’ll be okay…

Two minutes have passed and you were holding your breath at this point so Yunho wouldn’t notice your uneasy breathing. Little did you know, Yunho kept stealing glances at you, observing your condition. He suddenly swerved to the side of the road, putting the car in break and parked it.

Fear began to creep up as you expected the worse.

“W-What are you doin-“

“Get out.”

He was going to try to kill you. Of course, he would. He hated you and now is the perfect opportunity to do so.

You got out, getting ready to fight for your life. But Yunho simply got out of the car, locked it, and placed the car keys in his pocket.

“Which way now?” he asked looking around everywhere and at everything except for you.

“What?”

“Your place. Which way should we go?” he said as he looked down, finally connecting his eyes with yours.

You meekly pointed at the direction, “Um...left.”

Yunho began walking towards left without a second later, hands in his pocket.

“What about the car?” you asked.

“Leave it. We don’t need it.”

You chased after him, struggling to keep up with his long legs, and confused as to why he would suddenly want to walk.

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-e|n: my heart may or may not have fluttered while writing this... I hope you enjoyed this chapter! let me know what you think, thank you for reading :)

(p.s. the next chapter should be out soon since I’ve already written half of it...)

#ateez #a-tothe-z masterlist #atzwriters #seonghwa #hongjoong #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho #ateez scenarios #assassin au

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auroraphilealis · 6 years

Text

just a small list of fic recs

Earlier this morning my friends asked for some fake dating phan AU fics and I realized that making a fic rec list might be a good way to show some appreciation for fanfic author appreciation day!

I don’t have all day free like I wish, so I asked my friends for a few smaller catagories that I could shift through and find a few fics to rec from, that way I can get a good mix of fics for people to enjoy, and find as many authors as possible to thank!

Of course, I can’t possibly have read every fic out there ever, so if you aren’t on here that’s no like, disrespect to you or anything. Every single person whose ever written and posted a fanfic deserves to be recognized and loved for what they’ve produce for us, so just know that I appreciate every single one of you, on or off this list!

To add to this, I tired to pick some older, or smaller works that people may have not seen before to give the authors a little lift if possible :)

Without further ado, below you’ll find some fic recs and author appreciation below !

Fake Relationship:

Our Threadbare Lies - @ramonaspeaks - Dan is eighteen years old and newly single. He's ready to come out to his family but he thinks it would be a hell of a lot easier if he had a boyfriend to help him through it.

This is like one of my all time favorite fake relationship fics of all time. Honestly it was so well done and really realistic and the writing is just superb. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve re-read this fic, (as well as most of the authors other works) because it was just so well done, so thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to the author for all the hard work they put into it! On top of that, it holds really, really close to 2009 timeline (as we know it) and manages to make things work that might not have worked in their AU if they weren’t so smart about it

Maybe, Possibly - @cafephan - Phil’s mother is adamant that he should be settling down, so invites one of his turbulent exes to an annual family get-together the following day. In a moment of panic, he tells her he’s already dating someone. With no other options, he turns to Dan.

aldjflkas I fucking love this fic so freaking much. I’ve read it like ten million times. Everytime it shows up on my dash I open it to read it again. It’s just really funny and sweet in a strange way, and captures an essence of dnp that I really enjoy. I like how easy it is for dnp to pretend to be together in this fic, and how easy it is for them to then transition to ACTUALLY being together. It’s the perfect kind of non-dramatic get together fake relationship AU ever and I really, really do love it. Again, massive thank you to the author!

friends dont treat me like you do - @internetakeover (i think i got your @ right) - Why had Dan agreed to this? Pretending to be Phil’s boyfriend at his ex’s wedding had seemed like a nice idea at first, a way to meet some of Phil’s old university friends while helping him avoid humiliation, but already Dan’s on edge. If Dan allows himself to relax for a day, lets himself watch Phil as much as he wants, touch Phil as much as he wants, carry on their flirtatious banter when normally he’d laugh it off... he’s worried about what Phil might see.

I ended up re-reading this after I stumbled across it again just now hahaha I really love this fic. It’s super cute and a little sappy cause WEDDING FIC but that’s what makes it so worth the read. I love that both Dan and Phil realize how easy their relationship is, and the fact that they’ve technically been dating for a long time and that they love each other. I love that they realize this the way that they do, and it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so thank you so much to the author <3

Asexuality

Between Us - @winteredspark who doesnt appear to have a tumblr :( - "I think I'm asexual," Dan breathes against the crook of Phil's neck, blinking back tears.There's a pause, then -"Nice to meet you, asexual. I'm Phil," says Phil.

This is the asexual fic that helped me to realize that I’m asexual and that asexuality is a spectrum that isn’t limited to one version or another. I remember leaving a really long thoughtout comment to the author but I can’t not rec it here as well. It’s just such an amazing asexuality fic and it’s a little bit of a different take not it considering the character exists on a different part of the spectrum than most ace fics portray. I will always be grateful to this author for this fic!

let’s save up for something new - @deletablebird - Phil wakes up shivering the morning of October 19th, 2009. Today is the day he meets Dan. Fluff, 3.5k

I love this author with my whole heart and I’ve read everything they’ve written lol. This is just a really, really cute and lovely take on 2009 with the asexual aspect included and it really made my heart happy, so thank you so so much for this fic!

Theater

Disguises - @ramonaspeaks - Phil auditions for a play at a local theater and meets Dan, who spends most of his time acting whether he’s on stage or off.

Again, another fic from one of my favorite authors of all time. This is like my actual favorite theater au of all time. I am completely in love with the whole thing. It feels so real, and their characters are so well fleshed out, and each scene is just actually fantastic. I solidly recommend this one and I am soooo thankful to the author for bringing it into existence!

just touched down in london town - @phanetixs - "Hamilton is actually really nice and the plot is very interesting and okay, well, there’s this guy."In which, London is not as bad in the summer, a cute guy dies considerably in Act III and Phil has actually lucked out for once.

Look not only do I stalk all of this authors fics, but this is one of my all time favorites of theirs. They managed to take an idea that almost seems ludicrous and make it into something not only super hot, but super realistic and really, really, really fun. I absolutely adore this fic and I give you all the kudos my wonderful author. Thank you for writing such a wonderful au!

Which as they kiss, consume - @irrevocablys which for some reason it wont tag you :( - Dan’s an aspiring actor, and Phil’s so over studying Romeo and Juliet.

This was one of my first theater au’s and I truly adore it. its just like got this super cute undertone to it thats incredibly wonderful? I just love the way the characters interact and the ease and flow of the writing <3 thank you for giving us something so beautful

Supernatural Elements

Ride with the moon in the dead of night - @mooksie01 -Phil seriously needs to buy some allergy medicine or something. Or at least open a window next time he performs a demonic ritual. He wouldn't have thought that one little sneeze could've messed up a spell so bad, but now he has a demon on his hands and only six days to get rid of it before he's stuck with it forever....And maybe the demon is acting like a total cinnamon roll, but Phil is positive that it's all just an elaborate ruse.

ajdlsfkjasdlkjfls omfg I love this fic so much. I actually adore fics with supernatural elements in them and this is one of those fics that always stands out to me. It’s just really hilarious and well written and is just overall a fun take on witch phil. I just, i really love it, and I’m so grateful it exists. Thank you wonderful author <3

Reflections of the Heart - @butterflyphil - “Being told to dress up in a dinosaur onesie and have cereal catapulted at your face is a little odd. Waking up to find that you and your best friend have switched bodies? That’s fucking bizarre.”(Or, the multi-chaptered, slightly smutty bodyswap fic that no one asked for. Featuring whiny/annoying!Dan, sassy/beguiling!Phil, unintentional innuendos, intentional innuendos, unnecessary kitchen supplies, and just a pinch of magic).

UHM, THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVE FICS? Lol. I just really freaking love body swap fic and you did such a good job with this fic. it’s honestly just super fun and a little hot and really cute and beautiful overall. I really just, really cant thank you enough for this fic and rec it really really highly!

Vampires & Werewolfs

High - @icandigelvis - Just the ordinary story of Dan and Phil, except one little detail. Phil isn't human in this one. Expect biting, bickering, playlist live, blood, bad jokes and sex.

ajdslfkjasl listen I love vampire fic and this one is just so good. it’s so true to dnp’s personalities and just like, accurate to who they’d be tbh. And like, the fact that it sticks so close to reality aside from the vampire difference is what makes it even better so thank you so much to the lovely author for writing it. It’s everything I ever needed and more from a vampire fic

Taking Every Chance I’ve Got All - @nagirci - Dan wanted was to get drunk, really. Have a good time, meet a few new people. He didn’t really think about getting involved with someone as dangerous as Phil Lester (someone as cold, as pale and, well, as not alive), and he definitely didn’t think that one trip out to a bar would change his life forever.

This is like a really older fic that’s from one of the first phandom big bangs but it’s one of my first favorite vampire fics of all time as well and it’s just. really good and really well thought and the collaboration work on it is incredibly flawless. I honeslty would tell anyone to read it at any time because it comes together so well

Sharp Teeth - @theshyauthor - AmazingPhil is a Youtuber and a vampire and according to Dan Howell, he is the nicest person to exist. From their first meeting in 2009 all the way to that one incident in the elevator at the BBC, this is their story.

Again this is just such a good take on 2009 and the reality of dnp with added vampirism tossed in. Plus the author is a beautiful wonderful person and I really enjoy their writing so its a total please go read this kind of fic x3 Thank you darling for writing something so wonderful <3

be sure to ring the doorbell - @frostbittencheeks - Dan’s a tired sports reporter, Phil’s a friendly vampire with no real sense of boundaries and a propensity for bad Dracula jokes as well as leaving his unconscious victims in Dan’s kitchen. This isn’t how Dan thought courtship goes, but he’ll take it.

Can you tell I love vampire fics? This one is so well done, I literally re-read it constantly. I love the whole idea behind it, specifically the fact that Phil’s version of courtship is literally ridiculous and he doesn’t even think that they need to talk about it hahahaha I just love how funny and adorable it is and it’s just totally worth a few minutes of your time

a puppy sort of love - @symmetricdnp - Dan's supposedly a werewolf. Phil has doubts.

I honestly want to beg this person to write me more of this fic cause the permise is just that good. There are so few werewolf fics in the phandom, and especially ones that are this cute, thoughout , and well written. I absolutely adore this fic and I totally rec it to all of you. The author is wonderful, thank you so much for writing this fic <3

Blind

It’s the blue of your eyes, and the way you’re scared, love - @glitteraccent Soulmate (Color)! & Blind!Phil au

Okay but like this story always sticks out in my memory and I think on it often. It’s one of my all time favorite soulmate au’s and blind au’s, because it was just structured so well and the characters make your heart fall for them really, really fast. I love this author and tumblr wont tag them, but reblog their fic and give them all the love in the world!

#fic recs #fanfic author appreciation day

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melonoverlord · 6 years

Note

Turt’s ask meme for cecily (aka the better sibling)

1. What would be their favorite Disney (or other animated) movie?

Cecily has never seen a movie, but when she and the other first years binge watch Disney movies, she gets really into Peter Pan. Peter reminds her of herself and she gets that cartoon crush that we all got no matter our sexuality. She also likes Peter Pan because the song Second Star to the Right is one of the most beautiful songs she’s heard.

2. What do they usually like for breakfast?

Eggs and spicy sausage. She likes the full Turkish breakfast experience, and is glad that at Isladine she can still have a little piece of home. Though she has come to appreciate Eggo waffles.

3. What sort of cuddler are they?

Cecily’s almost as touch averse as Micah is in the sense that she won’t cuddle up to you unless you’re super close to her (which is why she’ll cuddle Micah), but she’s the type of person just to throw herself over you and rest her chin on the top of your head if you’re sitting down.

4. How do they say “I love you”?

Ce doesn’t like saying “I love you” if she can help it because that ruins her cool facade, but one ways she portrays it to Micah is helping him whenever he’s overwhelmed by sitting and singing with him to drown out outside noise, or doodling with him. Her version of saying “I love you” is learning about what makes you comfortable or calm down and trying to implement those when she sees that you’er struggling.

5. What kind of shoes do they wear?

She usually went barefoot when she lived with her clan, but otherwise she likes wearing either brown flats or gladiator style sandals. She hates closed toed shoes with a passion and if there is an opportunity to take her shoes off, she absolutely will.

6. What is their favorite accessory?

She has pink flower earrings she wears nearly every day and doesn’t feel her outfit is complete without them. She even sleeps with them in.

7. Are they more inclined towards fashion or comfort?

She always manages to find that middle line between fashion and comfort because she doesn’t want to be uncomfortable the entire day, but an outfit is not an outfit unless it is fashionable. If she had to lean towards one, though, it would be fashion. She will not allow herself to be frumpy.

8. What makes them laugh?

When Micah throws people off by being blunt as fuck, anything wild that Nat or Nadi do (especially when it involves flustering her brother), and whenever she can humiliate Reggie. Both she and Micah have a beautiful laugh.

9. Do they have a favorite flower?

Local yellow princess loves sunflowers.

10. Would they be the one to propose to their significant other?

Absolutely. She is always the one to make the first move in a relationship since she thinks that she missed out on having connections that weren’t people you knew since the womb.

11. What bad habits do they have?

Talking back to adults, sitting on top of things that shouldn’t be sat on (like the Headmistress’s desk), and egging people on.

12. What are their biggest insecurities?

Cecily is one of the rare cases of a character having high self esteem, and mixed with being a ten year old who thrives off humiliating her older brother, Cecily actually doesn’t have any insecurities... yet.

13. How do they wear their hair?

Mostly in pigtails in various hair colors, though her hair style changes day to day. Sometimes she’ll put it down, which brings her hair almost down to her waist, and other times she’ll put it in milkmaid brains and give herself a little hair crown. Cecily is the queen of hair game.

14. Are they an impulse shopper? If so, what would they buy?

Oh definitely. She’s never gotten to go shopping before, so the first time she goes to the mall and is allowed to get anything, she comes back with bags that are heavier than her just because she wants everything.

15. When do they usually sleep?

Micah still makes her have a bedtime of 9pm, but she’ll stay up til about 10pm watching Disney movies with the other first years.

16.What makes them worry?

Whether she’ll have to follow her grandmother’s orders if Micah doesn’t adjust to school the way her family wants to, whether she’ll be forced to return to their clan and not be able to experience human life, and if Micah will really fit in here.

17. Do they have any creative outlets?

She likes designing clothes, which is how she was the most fashionable five through nine year old in her clan. She designed her own clothes, then got her mother or grandmother to go get cloth to make them. Now that she can actually have access to a sewing kit, she likes making clothes for her squad (which consists of some first year followers and the poor saps who chose to befriend Micah).

18. How do they comfort an upset loved one?

She’s had to do it a lot with Micah, but usually since she pays attention to what makes her loved ones happy or feel safe, she’ll go sit next to them and try to take their mind off what’s bothering them or make them forget their worries.

19. What are they like when they’re sick?

She and Micah actually switch places when sick. When she’s sick, she becomes a blunt asshole who gets straight to the point because she just wants to get better.

20. Do they say what they’re thinking, or keep their thoughts to themselves?

She usually says what she’s thinking, she’s just more crafty about it than Micah is. She likes to form her words to fit whatever the person she’s talking to wants to hear so she can get on their good side.

21. What is the best gift they’ve ever received?

A chance to lead a normal life at Isladine.

22. Are they good at keeping track of time?

Absolutely not. Micah always has to act as her alarm clock. If she were left on her own, she’d be missing for two days and think she was only gone for like eight hours at most.

23. What is their favorite ice cream flavor?

Mocha Almond Fudge

24. What would they order from a fast food/take-out place?

Mushroom chicken, orange chicken, an ungodly amount of potstickers, and pineapple fried rice.

25. What is their favorite pizza topping(s)?

She finds that she really like BBQ Chicken pizza, so she’ll put chicken, basil, cilantro, and red onion.

26. What is their favorite type of cookie?

Double chocolate with peppermint bark.

27. Do they paint their nails?

It was one of the things they were able to smuggle into the clan, so she and Micah like panting their nails a bunch of different colors. She usually likes yellow and pink.

28. What is their favorite board game?

Never play Monopoly against her. You will lose all your money in a span of four turns. She has really good luck buying houses and hotels and rolls well enough to always skip the fees.

29. Are they more of a pants or skirts kind of person?

She loves wearing both, but usually opts for skirts. Especially the flow-y kind.

30. Do they dream often? What about?

Sometimes she’ll dream of women on horses with swords, which invigorates her even though she has no idea what they mean, other times she’ll have more worried dreams about actually having to carry out what her grandfather told her if Micah doesn’t adjust well to Isladine. On really bad nights, she’ll just dream that she’s standing in a field while a thunderstorm rages all around.

31. Do they have any phobias?

Dogs and thunderstorms. Both are a big no no and if she got in the presence of either, she would start crying on the spot.

32. If they were a pokemon, which would they be?

Slyveon, beautiful and powerful fairy child who’s beloved by everyone.

33. How well do they handle sea travel? Air travel?

She’s fine with both until there’s a storm involved. She hates thunderstorms and lightning more than anything so if there’s a chance of showers, she will stay on the comfort of land, thank you very much.

34. Which Disney character are they most like?

Gogo Tomago from Big Hero 6. Smart, sarcastic, and better than the main character. She’s also a bubblegum babe like Gogo is.

35. What sort of parent would they be?

She’s the fun parent 100% of the way that lets her kids get away with whatever as long as they’re being for the most part safe. Bed time is never.

#liminoidal #Cecily Yildirim #My characters #isladine academy campaign

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in-defense-of-the-horror · 7 years

Text

American Horror Story Hotel: A Rant Continued

Yesterday I posted my thoughts on AHS: Roanoke, because it was terrible and all my anger was eating me up inside. I thought that would be the end of it, but I was wrong.

@colonelcaribou was curious as to my thoughts on Hotel, and so I’m here to present you with more ranting about American Horror Story (something that I’m always more than happy to do, by the way.)

SPOILER WARNING: Like my last AHS rant, this is intended for people who have already seen the season in question, this time Hotel.

Let’s just go ahead and start this off with one of my favorite things; unpopular opinions. Hotel is actually my personal favorite season of American Horror Story. While I don’t think it’s as good as Murder House from a critical standpoint, the strengths from the season all play to my preferences whereas the weaknesses are issues that I seem to have with every season of the show - making it the most enjoyable for me to watch. That being said, it’s the only season (excluding Roanoke) that I’ve only seen one time, and I’m probably the least familiar with it.

While it is my favorite season - it’s far from perfect. Since this is a rant, I’m going to start by talking about the things that drove me crazy.

I think one of the aspects that bothered me most throughout the season was Chloë Sevigny’s portrayal of the grieving mother Alex Lowe. I can see where she was going with the role, the under-played emotions were meant to illustrate the detachment and depression that her character is experiencing (at least, that’s what I got out of it.) However, it led to me feeling like many parts of the story regarding her character were bland at best. The fact that the only real emotion I remember her distinctly expressing was anger (which was often misguided, misplaced, or exaggerated) tipped the scales toward me actively disliking her character. This was a big issue that I had with what was an otherwise great subplot.

Before I move away from the Lowe family too much, it’s also worth nothing that I took issue with some character design choices for the small son, Holden Lowe. This sounds like nitpicking, and maybe it is, but could they have made the kid any creepier? It would be one thing if that was part of the story all the way through - or if they had made him look more like a normal kid in the flashbacks at least, but I actually found it really distracting. With the long, wispy, white blond hair, the pale skin, and his mother’s vacant expression - this kid was legitimately the most terrifying part of the season in my opinion, and it kind of sucks that I don’t think it was intentional.

Now let’s talk about James Patrick March.

Don’t get me wrong, I thought he was an interesting character. His design was great, Evan Peters did a fantastic job playing him, but his name bothered me. It’s not the first time that American Horror Story has changed the name of a character or even a historical figure being portrayed on the show - and I can see why they wouldn’t want to flat out say that this character was H. H. Holmes. After all, the Hotel Cortez was an amalgamation of many different locations, and it wasn’t even located in the same state as the infamous “Murder Mansion” that Holmes built in Chicago. Using the name of the actual killer would have been spreading a wild amount of misinformation, and considering the amount of liberties they had to take with the character’s history, could have been seen as pretty insensitive.

It makes sense that they would choose a new name for him and just use Holmes as inspiration (like they did with the Briarcliff Institute in Asylum) but there was one episode where it started bother me; Devil’s Night. In a room with the spirits of the most notorious serial killers, the fact that H. H. Holmes had been replaced with James Patrick March meant that he obviously couldn’t be at the soiree, since he was, in a way, hosting it. It’s a small enough detail, but it’s one that got on my nerves while I was watching, and as I��m typing this out I realize it really stuck with me.

That small issue is also a great transition into Devil’s Night, which was my least favorite episode and, as far as I saw it, the worst part of the season.

Let’s say for a moment that I buy into the premise of serial killer ghosts having dinner together annually on the one night of the year where they have physical form on this plane (which for the record, I don’t.) Let’s also say that the ghost of not H. H. Holmes was somehow a mentor to all these serial killers from all over the country, and that somehow makes sense. The execution was still very flawed. The whole scene was over the top, the dialogue felt very forced, and what the fuck was going on with the Zodiac killer?

Like, okay, I get that we don’t have enough information to do an accurate depiction of the Zodiac killer, but I feel like there were a lot of better alternatives than to making him look like the world’s worst Monty Python and the Holy Grail cosplayer (did anyone else get that impression from his outfit, or was it just me?) Much like my issue with Roanoke where they failed to give me an answer to an actual, historical mystery that they decided to bring to screen, I feel like there were a lot of ways to go.

Zodiac could have been just a regular guy whose name wasn’t mentioned. Could have been a regular woman whose name wasn’t mentioned. They could have created a name (like they did with James Patrick March.) He could have been Ted Cruz - which would have been the best use of a meme on television. He could have, and this is crazy, not been there at all. I think that would have been my top choice, actually, because from what we do know of the Zodiac killer, what are the chances he would attend an event like that anyway? I feel like the most elegant solution to the dilemma would have been to have a place-setting at the table for him (with the symbol on it of course) and then to have slipped a line in there about how he never shows.

There were some other issues throughout the season, but these are the ones that really stuck with me, and that I’m still thinking about a year after watching it. So, with all these complaints, you’re probably wondering why this is my favorite season. Unlike Roanoke, Hotel had a lot of redeemable moments and now I’m going to transition into some more positive ranting.

For one, the ambiance was great. The set was stunning, the cinematography was gorgeous, and hands down this was the season with the best sound track. (They got my favorite She Wants Revenge song AND my favorite Eagles song in the pilot, how awesome is that?)

There was an excellent use of body horror throughout the season, from the grisly killings committed to represent the ten commandments to the flashback where Sally sews herself to her friends. I think more than any other season the visuals really stuck with me.

While I have already brought up some problems I had with certain casting decisions - there were a lot of fantastic choices also made in that regard. I was surprised by just how talented Lady Gaga was in her role as The Countess, Kathy Bates continued to impressed, I think Sally was one of Sarah Paulson’s most intriguing and well-played characters. Let’s also not forget about the amazing supporting cast in this season. While there were countless characters in the Hotel Cortez that were wonderful, I don’t think any of them stand out as much as Liz Taylor.

In addition to being beautifully designed, perfectly portrayed and having a fascinating backstory that contrasts with the darker themes in the rest of the season, Liz Taylor was possibly the best instance of representation in the season - perhaps in the entire show. While the Countess also offers some LGBTQ representation, I was deeply moved by the mature way they dealt with having a transgender character recur throughout the season.

They addressed Iris not being comfortable with Liz due to her own ignorance, and she was upfront about how she didn’t know how to ask. Liz, a strong woman confident in her identity is happy to set the record straight, even though it means sharing about a time in her life before she had that confidence.

That flashback scene also shows The Countess in a softer light as she helps Liz embrace who she was meant to be and acknowledging her as a woman before the rest of the world did. She pushes Liz to come out as a woman, and when she sees that she’s pushing too hard, tones it down and suggests a smaller, more manageable step. Maybe she didn’t handle being an ally the best, but the fact that she realized she was trying to force someone to do too much too fast and backed down showed a side of her character that was unexpected, especially considering her unflinchingly dominant personality.

Where I thought Liz really shined though, was after that when she’s in bed with Tristan. Tristan is surprised that he’s fallen for Liz because “he’s not gay.” Liz is quick to assert her gender and set him straight. “You’re not gay for being with me. I’m a girl. I’m a hetero girl.”

There’s one last big thing that made me really appreciate this season, and that was the mythology. Those of you who have been following me awhile know that I am tougher on vampire stories than I am on just about anything else. It’s partially because I got burnt out on it, but I also feel like a lot of vampire mythology is poorly executed and overly romanticized. If I had known there would be vampires in the season, I might not have even wanted to watch it - but I’m so glad I did.

There are a lot of vampire romances in Hotel, but at the same time I feel like they weren’t glorified. At no point did I feel like the show was trying to sell me on the concept of eternal love through a vampyric virus. On the contrary I think it illustrates how the undead are in many ways lonelier than they ever were as humans. The relationships aren’t born out of romance, they’re born out of the lust that comes with the vitality of everlasting youth, and that’s how it was depicted.

All in all I felt like this was a much more realistic take on vampires. They’re less idealistic and in a way the idea of vampires being more human is a lot scarier than the alternative. They’re not dangerous because they’re monsters, but rather because they have the same wants and needs that we all have, but amplified. Not only does it make the prospect of them existing more plausible, it makes the idea of becoming one much less appealing - which is exactly how it should be.

The undead (the ghosts and vampires both) were glamorous, but that beauty was always matched with such clear suffering.

I have a lot more that I could probably say about the show, and about this season in particular, but this hits most of my big points about it. While it’s not perfect, there were a lot of things that made me enjoy the story.

In fact, writing this up, I think I’ve talked myself into re-watching the season to see if it holds up.

#american horror story #ahs #american horror story hotel #ahs hotel #ahs rant #rant #ranting #american horror story rant #american horror story hotel rant #hotel rant

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elusianknight · 7 years

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hello! i only played dragon age inquisition once but i'd like to know what's the beef with cullen and why people dislike him, or if you could maybe point me to a post that explains it? i'd be grateful, thank you for your time :D

@dalishious has written much on this, and much better and more concisely than I (im SORRY THIS IS SO LONG), so definitely check out her literal CULLEN MASTERLIST here.

Long post incoming, my friend! Here’s my personal explanation, but check out that link too for more examples / concrete evidence lol.

Okay, here’s my honest opinion on the subject.

So the first game, Dragon Age: Origins. You can pick from six (seven) origins, and two of those are the Mage origin--the only difference between them is that you can play as either a human, or an elf. All the other origins are dependent on race (dwarf commoner, human noble, city elf, dwarf noble, Dalish elf).

I chose an elven mage on my first playthrough, and you start out in this Circle of Magi--so like, the big tower place w the mages. Specifically, Kinloch hold, aka the place Cullen was at.

As you play through the origin story of your character, if you’re a girl, it becomes clear that he has some weird crush on your character. Some people thought this was cute, but that’s overlooking some real, uh, problems with it, to say the least. He says that he would, literally, kill you if you failed the Harrowing (a test every mage has to take to evolve from being an apprentice to a full Circle mage). BUT, he says he’d rather not. So I guess people think it’s sweet that he’d regret killing you, despite doing it willingly...?

Later in the game, you come back to the Circle, and shit’s well and truly fucked. Demons everywhere, lots of dead mages and templars all around. But toward the top of the tower, you find Cullen in some weird magic circle thing. He’s just sitting there, hunched over and mumbling to himself. Apparently he’s been ~tortured~ as he says in DAI, but all it seems is that he was shown visions.

And if you’re playing a female mage, those ~visions~ are of your character.

He says they’re “taunting [him] with the one thing he always wanted but could never have, using [his] shame against [him]... [his] ill-advised infatuation with her, a mage of all things.” Now, I honestly don’t remember if this is just me imagining things or if this actually happened, but I’m rather sure he ALSO will make an additional comment about how she’s an elf, too, as in, just another thing to be ashamed of. But I think the rest of the dialogue speaks for itself.

The woman who wrote the origin, Sheryl Chee (she wrote Leliana, too, in all games) was confused when people thought he was cute (back in the days of DAO, way before DAI). She said the only sort of romance Cullen would have with the female mage Warden would be something “quick and violent” and just “to get her out of his system.”

One of the possible ending slides in Origins will mention that Cullen killed three apprentices back at the Circle before he left Kinloch Hold. This is the ending slide that I got on my first playthrough of the game.

So that clearly colored my opinion of him, but also, when I played DAO i was struggling w my sexuality a bit. Like, I think I knew I was gay, but I was dealing with homophobia from myself and my family, and I certainly didn’t feel good about it. The romance with Leliana and my warden honestly brought me to tears at parts because it was so wonderful to see a relationship between two women portrayed as something so sweet and normal (well, as normal as it could be. considering they’re fighting to save the world and all that stuff). So Cullen’s creepy comments were definitely NOT appreciated.

And that's aaaaaaaaaall just in Origins.

In Dragon Age II, regardless of what ending you got in DAO, he moves to the city of Kirkwall (where Hawke goes to) and is somehow promoted to the Knight Captain... the second-in-command of Meredith Stannard, the Knight-Commander of Kirkwall. And if you thought Kinloch Hold treated their mages bad, then hooooo boy, do you have another thing coming! Because the Circle in Kirkwall is literally called “The Gallows.” And rest assured, it lives up to its name.

Mages are hunted down and turned Tranquil (made into empty husks devoid of emotion)... illegally. If a mage passes their Harrowing, Chantry law apparently states that they can’t be made Tranquil, at least without a very good reason--it’s considered a last resort, of sorts, because it leaves the mage alive but unable to use magic (or dream, or have emotions). But in fact, it’s not a mercy at all. It’s used as a form of control and widely abused in Kirkwall. This leaves open room for any number of abuses, because Tranquil are all about ~logic~ and no emotion and what that boils down to is them doing anything, anything, that Templars tell them. And of course that’s taken advantage of--demonstrated by the fact that a Tranquil mage in Inquisition will tell the Inquisitor that she wouldn’t want to be cured, because she didn’t think she could handle what happened to her while she was Tranquil.

Anyway, back to Kirkwall. Meredith keeps up a horrendous system of abuse of mages, such that if you walk near the gates of the gallows you hear people being tortured, like whip lashes and, iirc, screams of pain. At the end of the game, Hawke can side with mages or templars, and if you side with the templars, Meredith will kill Hawke’s mage sister unless you explicitly stop her.

And in the end, Cullen sides with Hawke against Meredith, because she’s lost her mind to Red Lyrium... but here’s the thing.

He’s her second in command. He could have prevented some of the abuses in Kirkwall--or if anyone could have questioned her authority, naturally, he could have. But he didn’t. Not until the last moment, when he sides with Hawke at the end... as in, sides with the unstoppable force (Hawke and co.) that’s torn through the city anyway. If he stood with her, he’d have been cut down for sure.

Finally, Cullen doesn’t even get over the mage warden EVEN in DAI. If the Warden romanced Leliana, and if he didn’t romance the Inquisitor, he will ask Leliana about the Warden. The first part makes sense, but the second part kinda confirms that he is literally still thinking about the Warden in such a way. Which is at least kind of creepy. It’s been ten whole years.

In the broader scheme of things, a lot of this boils down to the fact that he is a Templar infatuated with a mage. He held direct power over the mage in question (literally tells the mage warden he’d kill her but feel sad about it???) so there’s not really any way for their relationship to have ever been equal, even if it wasn’t predatory to begin with (her being his charge directly).

Because, as we know, Cullen can romance a mage in Inquisition. And it is creepy as hell. Like, “you’re okay because you’re not like other mages” kind of creepy--calling her an exception, rather than an example, of her people. There’s other things in DAI--like how he never ACTUALLY apologizes or takes any sort of blame for what he did in Kirkwall--but check out the link because I avoided him as much as I could in DAI lol.

#anti-cullen #cullen hate #ramen hair #HOO BOY this got long #long post #victoriancuddler

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emilielouizides-csm · 5 years

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“I’m a man and...”

Over the past couple years I’ve noticed an increasing trend online, particularly on Instagram, where certain women will post memes that lump all men into one negative category. I haven’t always had positive experiences with men - I had a scary experience with one man in college, I get catcalled at least once a week and just the other day I sat in a cab on the way home with a driver who preached that Rihanna being beaten by Chris Brown was her fault because she allegedly cheated on him - but I have enough good guys in my life to know that not all men deserve to be bashed for the gross or violent behavior of some men.

In an effort to celebrate the good guys I went to a barbecue with a selection of printed out memes from an article titled 25 Memes Men Probably Won’t Find That Funny, a lipstick and a mirror and I spoke to six different men about the spirit of man-hating language online and how it makes them feel. I sat with the guys individually and asked each of them to read through the memes and chose one that resonated with them. They openly shared personal stories with me about why the memes affected them. To conclude I asked each of them to provide a counter statement to the meme beginning with the words “I’m a man and...” and write it on the mirror in lipstick.

-----

First I spoke to John about the meme below.

John said, “I think [that meme is] quite accurate in a sense of if you’re not on top of everything and acting like you’re super into everything it’s a pressure and it kind of feels like it’s a reflection of how invested you are in the other person? So that, in my opinion, it’s not just about women, that’s about relationships in general. So [a personal] example would be a difficulty in communication. So an ex-girlfriend that I was with and being able to talk through our problems and although we kept trying to have conversations about stuff and talk things through we kind of kept on resorting back to the same sort of thing and it was very matter of fact. Literally like that [meme], “We should break up.” “Why?” “Because it’s not working.” “Alright, okay, why is it not working?” and actually, you had to break through a bit more to get to the root of the problem.

Jon’s response to the meme is the following: “I’m a man and I’m a person too.” He went on to say, “We’re not just, you know, freaks of nature, although you might think that we all just think with our penis or whatever and we’re devoid of emotions, we completely aren’t; that’s normally why we get into relationships, because we’re thinking with other things as well.”

Our conversation finished with Jon saying that he had never put his words into a physical format and that writing on the mirror with the lipstick felt “quite empowering” and that he “enjoyed expressing it through this medium”. Going forward he would want to “continue with conversation, talking about it, particularly with loved ones or people I care about because I think they’re the people you want to feel safest with.”

What struck me most about Jon was that he agreed that the meme he chose reflected his relationship with his ex-girlfriend accurately. I know Jon but not well enough to know how he was going to react and I think I was expecting an immediate defense rather than an acknowledgment of how the meme was in fact true, but just missing some additional context. What I learned about Jon is that his approach to talking through problems is matter of fact, and that just because he is this way doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. I think his statement of “I’m a man and I’m a person too” is supported by the depth and care he took with our conversation; it was all very human and raw and it was my pleasure to speak with him.

-----

Next I spoke to Robin. We initially discussed the meme below.

I started by asking Robin about the most negative thing he notices women saying online about men, categorically. The following words are his. “Categorically, I would say lifestyle. I think they go with guys’ lifestyles whether they’re sort of...athletic lifestyle or a work lifestyle. I think women sort of know what they want, which is nice, but then I think they drill down on that so hard that they create these personas of what they want in a guy and it reflects that way.

Emilie: Do you think they do it so much to the point that the guy might not even--

Robin: Exist. Yeah.

E: Because I feel like a lot of guys -- and there are some memes here that kind of say, one in particular being this nativity scene one. I think like, when girls have ridiculously high standards...

R: They limit themselves.

E: They limit themselves so much to the point that they seem to confuse their not meeting someone who correlates with their standards with “there must be no good guys.”

R: Yeah, they confuse it. And they’re not willing to give someone a chance sometimes.

I went on to ask Robin to confirm if the referenced meme resonated with him. He said it did. When I asked him if he thought any of the memes did actually portray men accurately he pointed to a different one. Here it is below.

It was important for me to clarify the context in which Robin felt that this meme was accurate. I asked if he thought it was accurate because he sees women doing this in real life. He said yes so the accuracy for him was more based on women’s behaviors than men’s. Based on seeing this meme and being affected by it he went on to share an experience he had with an ex-girlfriend.

“I was dating a girl. I met her at a Christmas festival in London in 2017 and my phone was dead so I went old school and got a pen and a bit of paper and gave her my number and I got back later and I had a text when I put my phone on charge and it was great! So I thought I’d ask her on a date and then we dated I’d say for about...ten months? At one point I was like, okay she’s amazing and I was like right, I’m at the stage in my life where I will give my all at this and I’m ready for it and at points she’d just shut me down and ignore me entirely. She’d go from talking to me like every half an hour and me ringing her to see if she’s okay and then the next day her just ignoring me for like a week and I’d have no reason for it and I don’t get it and then she at one point was like, “when are you going to ask me to be your girlfriend?” and I went, “how am I getting this?” and then about a week later I asked her and she said yeah and then two weeks later she goes, “I can’t do this anymore” and I went, “look, I’m really confused by this because you’re saying you want all of this and then the next minute you’re just ignoring?” and then when we stopped it was just because she shut down and didn’t speak to me ever again and I was like, I don’t get it, have I done something wrong? Have I not done something right? I’d rather them just say this is the situation, I’m not into it right now or I’m just not feeling it. Fine. I’d be happy with that.

E: It’s so much better to be rejected--

R: And know about it! Than not to be given an explanation. Your mind just wanders and you just think...

E: You drive yourself crazy.

R: Yeah, you do. I think it goes both ways, being a guy or a girl, that sort of feeling that someone can...like that says, you know, “you catch feelings for someone, you block them.” That feeling for the other person makes them confused and makes them wonder is it something they’ve done? Should they change something [about their self]? That socially is becoming a big thing, people changing things and there’s a big thing about mental health now with under 30s. I think people are going through that.

Robin’s response to the second meme is the following: “I’m a man and give us a chance. There is something inside us you might fall in love with. Okay, we might not be every ticked box in the world but we’ll try to be.”

The conversation between Robin and I finished with him telling me that it felt nice to put his words in writing and be photographed with them. “It’s quite a relief...it is a little because you never really do it. I don’t, personally, but I’m quite an introvert. I don’t really express feelings so it’s quite nice to actually do it. Puts a smile on your face to actually go...this is something you actually think.”

I asked Robin if he felt like he had been able to express himself creatively and he said, “Yeah, definitely. Yeah, of course. Putting it in this kind of perspective kind of makes you think more out there, sort of go into what you’ve thought, especially seeing all the memes. You kind of go, yeah, it’s happening. So yeah, it’s good. That was good. I liked that.

My conversation with Robin put a smile on my face. I so appreciated his willingness to speak vulnerably, openly, candidly and honestly. The most fascinating thing about Robin to me was the fact that he called himself an introvert and told me he doesn’t really express his feelings. But in reality, he first connected with a past girlfriend by going old school and writing his phone number down for her on a piece of paper. I see that as a very bold, sweet, romantic and extroverted thing to do. When he shared details with me about how the relationship took a turn for the worse for him even though he may not have explicitly expressed his emotions using words like sad or hurt he did say that his ex-girlfriend’s actions left him confused and with a wandering mind. That was enough for me to understand how affected he was. At the end, Robin intelligently cited current mental health issues and verbally expressed relief after completing the lipstick and mirror exercise. Robin may have said he doesn’t express his feelings but I never felt the need at any point to dig deeper or ask for clarification. Based on all of his wonderful qualities that came through in our conversation, he is the perfect example of someone who deserves a chance.

(I’ll be adding more conversations with other men to this post)

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novelmachine · 7 years

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Ten UNDERTALE Fanworks Every Fan Needs to Check Out

It’s February 15th, time once again to celebrate International Fanworks Day! Seriously, how great is that? Whether it’s books, movies, comics, games or television series, fanworks make up a huge part of their communities. This year I’m tackling UNDERTALE, the game that most people (myself included) fell in love with and whose fandom is still going strong more than a year later.

Some of them have been completed, some of them are only partially done, and some of them have been forgotten. Regardless of their status, I think they’re special and amazing and I hope you will love them as much as I do. I’ll do my best to leave out any spoilers.

Death by Glamour

Here’s a neat animatic featuring our favorite human and robot. Animated by Alyssa Gerwing, this video makes their battle look really cool, bringing the fight sequence out of the box and into UNDERTALE’s real world. You have to love the pacing and timing, which is perfectly in sync with the boss music. The facial expressions really give it something extra, whether it be humor or drama. What a stylish video! @walkingmelonsaaa

Papyrus Finds a Human

This animation was an unexpected delight. This was not the cutesy video I thought it would be. With it’s mild swearing and cartoon violence, Mike (a.k.a. Piemations) created a brilliantly funny video. The voice acting is flawless. The punchlines hit home. Papyrus is the best. I can’t write much else without giving all the best bits away. Just go experience it for yourself. As an added bonus, I highly recommend turning on the subtitles while watching the video for the second time. You will not be disappointed.

UNDERTALE ANNIVERSARY

This animation blew me away. I was a fan of iscoppie’s Game Grumps animations before this, but wow. This six-minute video depicts a moment I rarely see people tackle: how Undyne and Alphys met. It’s a bittersweet meeting when you really think about it, and this animation captures and balances all of the emotions involved: fear, hope, resignation, awe. The colors are gorgeous, the voice talent is wonder, and the music is beautiful. This is the best UNDERTALE tribute to date. @iscoppie

The Sons of Gaster

There are many theories as to how, or even if, Sans and Papyrus are connected to W.D. Gaster. One popular theory is that they were created by the doctor. This two-part comic series by sansybones depicts the skeleton brothers’ beginnings: their time with Gaster, growing and gaining independence, and how the two bros become family. The black-and-white style–with the occasional blue–is very effective and looks really nice. I especially love Papyrus’ facial expressions; they capture his personality perfectly. One thing I do appreciate is that this isn’t just a Sans story. Papyrus is just as important and has just as much focus and growth. Sansybones’ depiction of the UNDERTALE characters is fantastic. Their feelings, struggles, and personalities feel genuine and sincere. It’s an emotional roller coaster well worth the ride. @sansybones

They Say He Shattered

I’m a big fan of the multiverse theory. I’ve talked about it extensively in regards to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. If you’re like me, then this comic is right up your alley. Emily plays with the idea of timelines collapsing and converging in They Say He Shattered, creating the best kind of mess. It’s a fascinating story that balances humor and seriousness very well. Each game ending results in another dimension, but it seems the very fabric of time and space has been broken. Characters come face-to-face with different realities or feel the effects of forces on their other selves. Some things happen out of order. Some things that never should have been are now possible. It’s really hard to explain, but well worth a read. I’m really excited to get to the bottom of this mystery. @theysayheshattered

A CHARActer Analysis

Normally when we think of “fanwork” we think of art, music, fanfiction, cosplay, videos, and animation. However, this thesis bears recognition. Toby Fox created a cast of characters rich in personality and full of life. Chara is one of the only characters in UNDERTALE to be almost unanimously revered and portrayed as one-dimensional. They’re evil and hate humanity and that’s the end of that. Only it’s not. In this analysis we are shown every detail we may have missed. Chara’s story is scattered throughout the game. There are so many subtle hints and clues that most people wouldn’t notice or even think twice about. This in-depth thesis is by far the best explanation of who/what Chara is, who they were, and their role in the overall game. With all of this evidence, you may find yourself viewing Chara in a completely different light. @thefloweryfanclub

Never a Lovely So Real

The artwork shown above was created by theslowesthnery.

Of all the UNDERTALE AU’s, the Gangster/Mob AU is my big favorite. I adore this AU, and this fanficiton was heaven-sent. Kaesa’s Never a Lovely So Real is loosely based on Hnery’s neat headcanons and spectacular art surrounding the Gangster AU. This story is told from Sans’ point of view as he tries to keep the family safe. You have all of your favorite major characters playing their roles in the operation, while a lot of minor characters show up frequently as well. I really appreciate that Sans and Alphys are science bros and have to work as a team. I normally don’t like a who lot of new characters being added into fanfictions, but here it works. Getting to know the rival gang members goes to show that not everything is black-and-white, especially in these types of situations. Much like the game, the “bad guys” aren’t always bad guys. One of the greatest things about this fanfiction is how much research and knowledge went into it. I was impressed by how authentic this story felt the first time I read through it. Kaesa did her homework and it shows. There’s mystery. There’s action. There’s romance. There’s suspense. This is a great work. Did I mention the Gangster AU was my favorite? @kaesaaurelia

Under Shield

The artwork shown above was created by hamstermastersamster.

Here we have my favorite post-true-pacifist story. Under Shield by Fantasia Wandering is a series of fics told out of order telling of Frisk growing up and growing into their role as ambassador, as well as dealing with their past and becoming part of a family again. Frisk is given a lot of character and background, but it never seems like too much. Frisk is a person with big feelings and big thoughts, and sometimes they can weigh too heavily on their mind. These feelings, accompanied with the struggles of growing up, are relatable to everyone and make it easy to slip into Frisk’s shoes. Although Frisk is the main focus, some of the main cast have important developments as well. One of the most powerful chapters in this series is the eighth part: Penance. Asgore’s redemption arc is a prominent theme throughout the series. He’s not immediately forgiven for his sins by Toriel, or even himself. This in turn affects his relationship with Frisk. It’s a process that takes many years and the reader is there for each important step. This fic’s strongest suit is its stunning imagery. The environments Fantasia has created are painted so vividly. Any reader can picture the settings in great detail. Overall, this is one well-written series. @fantasiawandering

Blood of the Covenant

The artwork shown above was created by donidoodles.

Remember when PTA Sans was a thing? Well, this is the PTA slice-of-life UNDERTALE story the fans deserve. Blood of the Covenant takes place nearly a decade after the game. Everyone has grown up–and it shows–but they still retain their character. Doni’s characterization is so on point. This fic has the most realistic high school you’ll ever find. None of that Lifetime or Disney Channel nonsense here. The history teacher coaches the football team, the PTA is a hot mess, and aside form a few ass-hats the kids are generally nice and friendly. (Is this my high school? I feel like this was based on my high school.) The story’s strongest appeal is that every character’s time is balanced and utilized effectively. This cast is huge and yet every single one of them has their time to shine. I’ve read a lot of UNDERTALE PTA fics and most of them are a lot of fun, but a common trend in those stories is that the human members of the PTA (Linda, Helen, etc.) are usually so cartoonish and two-dimensional, like their only purpose is to be ignorant evil villains. Here our antagonists are fleshed out. They have feelings, struggles, even arcs of their own. They learn and grow just as the protagonists do. This is a fantastic, well-rounded story. I lost so much sleep the first time I read through it because I could not stop. It was all worth it, though. I promise. @doniblogs

The Scientist

The link provided leads to AO3, but you can also read it on Tumblr. The artwork shown above was created by hamstermastersamster.

This is my favorite pre-game scenario. Out of all the fanfictions I’ve read, this two-part series written by Pen has the best portrayal of Dr. W.D. Gaster and his backstory. The first part of the series, The Scientist, revolves around the life and times of the royal scientist before Dr. Alphys got the job. The passage of time feels seamless, from the point of monsters’ imprisonment to the end of Gaster’s existence. It makes sense and goes right along with UNDERTALE’s timeline. Everything fits together like a puzzle. I could go on and on about the relationship between Gaster and Sans. It is just so strong and told very well. They are co-workers instead of father and son as I’ve seen in many fanfictions. (I prefer the colleague dynamic, actually.) The audience can get a real sense that their bond teeters between healthy camaraderie and toxic friendship, eventually falling to the side of the latter. The second part in the series, Entropy, shifts the focus onto Sans and how he deals with the aftermath of Gaster’s disappearance. It shows Sans’ own decline; he is deteriorating into the character we see in-game. This story is as well-written and intriguing as its predecessor. It paints by far the most natural, realistic relationship between Papyrus and Sans. Their situation, their dialogue, and their banter is so believable. There’s something really pure about it that just makes me smile. This series, you guys. This series. @talkingsoup

So there you have it! I had so much fun making this list. I can’t believe I’ve been working on this post for a whole year.Shortly after I made a similar post about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fanworks last International Fanworks Day, I got right to work on this one. Thanks as always to anyone who read this. If you’d like to discuss anything you read here today or have recommendations of your own, please feel free to reply to this post or drop something in my ask box. Have an awesome day, friends! @undertale

#undertale #undertale fandom #international fanworks day #geeettttttt dunked on!!!#hannah reviews #hannah talks nerdy

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russellthornton · 5 years

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25 Unmanly & Manliest Things a Man Can Do: A Woman’s Perspective

The term manly is not what it once was. It does not mean macho. From a woman’s perspective, these are the manliest things a man can do.

What do you think of when you think of the manliest things a man can do? Lifting weights? Saving a damsel in distress? Perhaps even pretending your tears are allergies or refusing to talk about your feelings?

Those things are not manly. In fact, those are signs of toxic masculinity. And not all masculinity is toxic. Being respectful, understanding, gentle, and calm are masculine traits that are not toxic. They let a man be a man without feeling less than for not conforming.

When a man is at his manliest, he is being himself regardless of what society says manly is. [Read: The gender stereotypes about males we need to let go of for good]

What does being manly mean?

Sure, being manly may mean something a little bit different to everyone. Ten or twenty years ago manly would be used to describe someone like John Wayne or Chuck Norris. But now it is used to describe someone like Will Smith or Chris Evans.

These are men that are not just attractive and protective but also take a stance. They share their voices to fight for what is right without pure violence, but with understanding and patience.

Being manly is not a characteristic to describe attributes only aligned with one gender, but being manly is a collection of qualities that make a man who he is. [Read: Sensitive sides: Should men embrace male femininity]

The unmanliest things a man can do

Along with plenty of manly things a man can do, there are plenty of things a man can do that he may think are manly, but are in fact quite the opposite. Things that may have once been described as manly are not so attractive in today’s day and age.

Women do not want a man that is just physically strong and that knows how to beat someone up *not that they ever did*. In fact, many of these traits are unmanly and can turn off most women. So be aware.

#1 Insult a woman. This is something no man or woman should ever do. It was a well-known pickup method that a man would compliment a woman backhandedly to make her feel bad and then want to be affirmed by the same guy that insulted her.

Women have been empowered beyond this tactic. All that insulting a woman will do for you is make you look like a jackass. [Read: Here’s how you can be masculine without being a jerk]

#2 Mansplain. Even today a lot of men do not realize they are doing this. Not at work, not at the bar, and not on a date. Sure, if a woman asks you to explain what you do for a living, go for it. But if she is talking about women’s healthcare, politely listen.

If you mention fishing and she says I love fishing, do not explain to her how to fish. She knows. Do not underestimate a woman. [Read: Mansplaining: Come on, don’t be a dick]

#3 Say he is not a feminist. Because the word feminist seems pro-women, many men seem to think that means it is anti-men. That is not true. All the word means is pro-equality. And any man that isn’t for that is not much of a man, let alone a person.

Saying you’re not a feminist just makes you sound uneducated and misogynistic.

#4 Be close-minded. We all have our beliefs and stances. But being closed off to even hearing others out is such an unattractive quality. A manly man may stand his ground but will hear others out.

#5 Be jealous. Sure, everyone wants to know a guy is attracted to them. But you don’t own a woman and women do not owe you anything. Being jealous and having to show your power over another guy only shows that you are insecure.

#6 Be overprotective. It is sweet when a man looks out for a woman. Help her carry her groceries or bring her a jacket when it is chilly. But not wanting her to go out with her girlfriends because you are worried about other guys doesn’t say you have the power. It says you are afraid. [Read: 17 big signs of an overprotective and jealous boyfriend girls hate]

#7 Fight. Maybe if you are a boxer for a living, fighting is manly because you are dedicated to your job. But getting into bar fights and beating up someone for spilling their drink on your date is juvenile, not manly.

#8 Smoking. Filling your lungs with toxins, polluting the environment, and putting others at risk with second-hand smoke is not cool and sly or mysterious. It is gross, unhealthy, and stupid.

#9 Speeding. Boys and their fast cars. Yes, I know, Fast and Furious is a big thing. But there is a reason that is a movie and is fiction. No woman wants a man who is taking such a dangerous risk with his own or anyone else’s life.

#10 Being cocky. Being confident is one thing, being cocky is another. Being sure of yourself is sexy and manly. Being a douchebag because you make a lot of money, drive a loud car, or for any other reasons makes it seem like you are overcompensating and are super disrespectful. [Read: The subtle differences between a cocky and arrogant man]

The manliest things a man can do

Feeling confident in your masculinity is the best way to not have to over compensate by portraying traditionally masculine traits.

#1 Be a gentleman. Even though women want equality, being courteous is not a bad thing. Holding the door, getting our coat, or offering to pay the bill is sweet. It shows that you are thinking about others.

And this is not just a trait you should have on dates. A true manly man shows his gentlemanly qualities to strangers, children, and the elderly as well. [Read: 20 qualities in a guy that make him a really good man]

#2 Be respectful. If a woman declines your request for a date, move on. If a woman has a drink with you but won’t go home with you, go home and eat some ice cream, do not call her a tease or pressure her.

Women do not owe you anything. You catch more flies with honey, so be appreciative, kind, and understanding. The response to that will be so much better. [Read: 8 ways men don’t realize they’re subtly shaming women]

#3 Be patient. Whether patience is required for when it is appropriate to go to bed together or when someone slow is crossing the street, just slow down. Being in a rush makes it seem like you aren’t living in the moment or appreciate what you are doing or who you are with.

#4 Remain calm. Although men have long been considered aggressive and strong, you do not need to yell and scream or punch walls to seem manly. Remaining calm, handling tense or stressful situations with poise and grace is what women see as manly.

#5 Cry. One thing I personally hate seeing is when a man tries to hide his tears. Boys are often told not to cry because boys don’t cry. But that is so toxic to a boy’s emotional growth. Instead, seeing a man cry and own the fact that he is feeling emotions is so manly to me.

#6 Listen. Nodding along while a woman speaks is not listening. But actually hearing what she says, interacting, asking questions, and bringing it up later is what women want. This is manly. A man that can actually focus on someone else and what they are saying and retain that information is one of the manliest things a man can do in my book. [Read: 10 little changes that’ll make you a better listener]

#7 Be capable. There seems to be this man-boy complex that is happening. Adult men are behaving like teenage boys and it is supposed to be attractive. Women want a man that can take care of himself. He can clean for himself, cook at least the basics, and handle life.

I am not sure why it is considered manly to some when a man can’t complete normal adult tasks, but it really isn’t.

#8 Smell good. Sure, some women are attracted to a man’s natural musk. That makes sense. After he has been working out or something, but not bathing regularly is not manly. In fact, it is pretty gross. You do not have to bathe in Old Spice but some soap and deodorant go a long way when it comes to the mastering manliest things a man can do.

#9 Be reliable. This may seem boring, but even the most adventure seeking women find it manly when a guy is reliable. This does not mean you need a routine or to be working a 9-5 job. It means you are there when you say you will be. You keep promises.

You don’t cancel plans last minute or wait for something better to come along. Being true to your world is certainly one of the manliest things a man can do. [Read: How to successfully pass a shit test from a woman]

#10 Be funny. Laugh like no one is watching. When a guy can overlook how others see him and just laugh, laugh cry, tell jokes, and let go, it is so sexy. A man who can’t laugh at himself comes off as uptight and like he his hiding something.

A man who can just laugh uncontrollably and make others laugh too is comfortable in his skin.

#11 Be good with animals. This may be a personal one for me, but anyone that isn’t allergic to animals would probably agree. A guy whose face lights up around a cute puppy, kitten, or even a human baby is not afraid to show a comforting and nurturing side to himself.

#12 Be honest. Lying is such a dick move. It is not manly to get away with tricking someone, cheating, or anything like that. What is manly is being upfront and honest, especially when that is the hard thing to do. It is easy to lie. It is a coward’s way out.

One of the manliest things a man can do is own up to his mistakes, tell the truth when it’s hard, and say he is sorry and mean it.

#13 Be self-aware. It is so manly when a man knows he is not perfect. He is happy and comfortable with who he is but is always trying to better himself. When a man blames others for his faults or woes, he only shows his lack of self-awareness and lack of effort to overcome.

#14 Be supportive. Being insecure about a woman’s power job, position, or even height is so vile and misogynist. Being supportive of a woman in any role she chooses is manly. Rooting a woman on or even a fellow man rather than dragging them down to ensure your own success is slimy, not manly. [Read: What a woman is really saying when she pulls away from you]

#15 Be you. You might say, well, I am not a feminist, I am a fighter, and I love being aggressive. Well, I am sorry to say that these qualities are just not manly ones. But the good news is that when you dig deep inside and are actually being yourself a lot of that faux-macho stuff disappears.

When you are comfortable in your own skin, you don’t need to hide behind aggression or denial. You are manly when you are being yourself.

[Read: How to be a gentleman and win her over with your charm]

These are the manliest things a man can do from a woman’s perspective. Perhaps you disagree, and that is okay. Just don’t come crying to me when your unmanly qualities backfire on you.

The post 25 Unmanly & Manliest Things a Man Can Do: A Woman’s Perspective is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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haleighfitzsimmons-blog · 6 years

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The Truth...

Emotional abuse. What is it? According to the dictionary, emotional abuse is defined as “psychological abuse characterized by a person subjecting, or exposing, another person to behavior that may result in physiological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post traumatic stress disorder.” Low self esteem, isolation, humiliation, and intimidation are common words associated with the term. The real question is, how do you spot emotional abuse? What are the signs?

In my experience, emotional abuse is fairly hidden behind closed doors. It’s hard to spot right away without knowing “warning signs” in advance. I’ll get to those later. However, like all other forms of abuse, emotional works in a cycle patters. Typically beginning when one parter emotionally abuses the other party member; commonly to show dominance within the relationship. After this occurs, the abuser will typically feel guilty - not for their action - but rather for the consequences. The abuser will commonly make up excuses for their behavior, avoiding responsibility. Once this has happened, the abuser will report back to their “normal” behavior. As if the event never occurred. The individual may in fact be more charming, apologetic, and giving. Doing their very best to make sure their partner knows they are “extra sorry”. When in fact, the abuser may “fantasize” of using their partner in that regard again, setting them up for more emotional abuse to take place.

Sounds pretty terrifying. Doesn’t it?

It is difficult to present emotional abuse even to the abuser. It takes caution and a sturdy mind. The abuser also holds a manipulative personality. Able to trick you into thinking you are in the wrong. It’s all your fault. You’re too sensitive. Maybe it’s that time of the month, or it’s coming up. You need to be more appreciative. You’re too dumb to realize they actually love you. This is how things are supposed to be.

Wrong.

All wrong.

Lying. Its one of the examples of emotional abuse. Socially isolating the individual. Not allowing them to be with others. Disrespect. Bringing them down through condescending words, actions, and remarks. The only marks emotional abuse leaves behind are within. No physical evidence.

Lying.

Did you hear me? Lying.

Here’s the tricky part. People aren’t going to believe you. The emotional abuser is going to be liked by many. A good person. In my case: a good student, proud brother, wonderful athlete, funny, charming, good looking, well put together, and a Christian man. Who would’ve thought that he would hurt me? Certainly not myself.

I missed the signs from the beginning. Love really is blind. I missed the power hungry dominance over me, the obsessiveness to keep me from my friends, family, and close ones. I thought him always insisting we stay inside was endearing. When all along, it was isolation.

Isolated.

Did you hear me? Isolated.

My friends told me over and over again how much they missed me. How I was never around anymore. At the time, I contemplated the assumption they were simply jealous I had someone and they did not. Now, looking back, I really did vanish before their very eyes. I never saw them. Truth is, I missed them too. Terribly. I only ever saw him. However, my naive mind thought it was simply because we were in love. Whatever that was, it certainly was not love.

I thought I was crazy. Possibly overly emotional or sensitive. In the beginning I felt an emptiness in my gut, but I shoved it off. Thinking I had ate something that day…week…month…

And while I do struggle with digestive problems, that feeling grew more into something else. Something bigger. Something dangerous.

I researched for months. Collecting data. I remember being so angry with my parents when they told me in the beginning he held an abusive personality. I told myself, “they don’t know him like I do”, or “he’ll never do that to me. He loves me”.

He loves me.

or at least I thought.

There’s a part of him I sure that loved me dearly. Sadly, lust took over that wonderful God-given plan for humans into a sick desire for my body, and my body alone. I gave in. I allowed him to take control over me and my body after hearing the abused version of Ephesians 5. “Wives submit to your husbands”. We were going to get married…I was sure of it. Our love for one another were two very differently things. Mine was controlled by intimidation and fear. His was led by an overpowering drive for me, physically. Rather than emotionally or intellectually.

We were perfect together.

Perfect.

Social media portrayed two young kids in love, ready to take on the world. It was happy faces. Smiles all around. Happy moments. But what happened when the flash turned off? When the camera was put away? What happened behind closed doors and off screen was a mystery even to my closest companions. I told no one. No one. I couldn’t. Not when he promised to get better. Not after he promised to never hurt me again.

He promised.

Just like all our future plans together, those promises were impossible to see through. After every so called, “promise” came another cycle. Another “incident” is what I liked to call them. They came out of no where. Crushing my heart more, and more. Oh, but wait. His actions were out of “good intentions”.

Good intentions.

Just like every deception was meant to help me. Every let down was supposed to keep me protected. All the times he broke promises meant it was a chance to re-evaluate what I was doing wrong. It was always my fault. Somehow everything was turned against me. Even when I finally mustered up the courage to tell him.but it was always my fault in the end. Always.

It has been eight months since the break up - April 24th 11:08 pm (our seven month anniversary almost to the exact hour and minute, September 24th, 11:24 pm). A year and three months since junior year homecoming. “The best night of my life” where he professed his love and we became “the music couple”. A select tuba/trumpet player and a stellar choir performer found love in a car parked outside a friends house in the down powering rain. A well-known “theatre power couple” just like those who came before us. Seven months later. Junior prom. April 22nd, 2017. I found myself lost in a pit of darkness on the dance floor. My heart shattered into a million pieces. The perfection was gone. The stellar achievers were now uncovered as failures of love. I saw my life crumble before my eyes, as I stared into the eyes of a man I realized I feared greatly.

On the drive to post-prom, I remember the tension building in the car. The way he pounded the steering wheel as a stop light made my body tense in a million uncomfortable ways. The walk towards post prom, my perfect hair a mess, and my dress feeling ten pounds heavier, feeling as though I would never be the same again. And I’m not. I never will be. How I threw my bag on the bathroom floor, yelled in frustration at the top of my lungs. With only my friend there to catch me, knowing exactly what had taken place. All the images were coming back to me. His violence towards a friend next to the bar, his sulking to make me feel guilty at the table, by himself. The tense attitude towards everyone who got too close, and the way he looked at me. His eyes. Those eyes. A look I never wanted to see again made me shrink into myself once more.

When you think about it, it’s quite poetic isn’t it. Creating feelings on a dance floor, and breathing catastrophe on yet another dance floor. A night that was supposed to be just as magical as the previous dance.

Supposed to be magical.

Did you hear me?

Supposed to be…

But it wasn’t.

I remember sitting in the nail salon, a week prior to the fateful night, sitting next to my best friend telling her something bad was bound to happen. The cycle would prevail. It always did. It always would.

He says I walked away. Claims I didn't truly love him. Told others I was the problem. I made him a monster. It was all…my…fault. Never his. Why would it be? Who were they going to believe? Not me.

Things are still very much tense. I walk into a same room, and I can feel the bitterness swallow me whole. Why won’t he give it up? Why can’t he let it go? I don’t understand, and I never will. I plaster a smile on my face, make sure I have a good laugh or too, say hello to friends and acquaintances, and carry on with my life. That’s what I’m supposed to do.

Isn’t it?

The truth is, I still protect him. Often times I do my best to ensure the public he is still a good guy. Even if the real goodness is hidden underneath layers of pain, bitterness, control issues, and anger. I still see the good I once saw all the time. Except now, it comes in flashes. Dreams. Even the beginnings of my nightmares. A flicker in the hallway, or a small presence in the room of someone I used to know. I do not boldly tell everyone of what happened between us. There are certain aspects I have not been able to tell even the closest people to in my life. Why? Because a part of me still cares for him. And not in the “I still love you” sort of way, but in the “I promised to always care for you, even if you won’t”. I feel a sort of obligation to remain silent for his sake. To choke down the hurt of the lies I hear from day to day. Brush off the mean looks he gives me. I push them aside. Sealing my lips shut to prevent his life caving in on himself. Obviously, only one of us is being the bigger person.

But that’s okay.

Did you hear me?

It’s okay.

Because not everyone is always going to believe you. Chase Jenkins, and Logan E., are just two examples, proving people are going to side with the abuser. They’re never going to believe your story. No matter how many times it comes back to haunt you every night. The truth always prevails. I believe - well, I suppose it’s more of a hope - that one day everyone will know and understand that my silent claims prevailed with honesty and integrity. Until that day comes, I am stuck writing this journal. Hurting, and uncertain.

I think of that relationship every day. The pain. The recovery. The “incidents”. Not a day goes by I don’t still pray for him. Part of my heart still believes the man I initially fell for is still there. Hidden beneath all the layers of bitterness. It has caused me to see the world differently. Be afraid of certain words, events, places, even foods. I still cannot drink Hazelnut coffee. It’s been eight months and I cannot muster the courage to drink a stupid cup of hazelnut coffee. I’m extra paranoid. All the time. With people, mostly. The physiological effects are still there. They’ll never leave me. They say emotional abuse changes you. I call it “re-wiring of the brain”. It’s all I can do now to “program” myself back to the way I was in September of 2016. Young. In love. Happy. Care free. Excited. Confident. But that girl is gone. Sure, I am in love with an incredible man and happy as ever. But not truly happy with who I am. I never will be. The dirt I feel from the deeds in the relationship, the way he treated me makes me feel weak and used to this very day. I did not wait for my true love. I gave myself to the wrong man.

But I’m forgiven.

Did you hear me?

I said I’m forgiven.

But I cannot forgive myself.

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