#how they r abt being best friends
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Wut i think mdc love triangle looks like
#oversimplified#mostly getting this from mbtw#how they r abt being best friends#i think this is my first time drawing all the guys#ive made like three iasip drawings despite it being one my biggest hyperfixations#charden#charmac#macden#charmacden#iasip#doodle
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Since you finished JFO
opinions on each mantis crewmember?
cal: baby. baby boy. i love him so much i'm holding him so tight he's been through so much and his whole story before and during JFO's so interesting and so cool very fun to have a jedi who was just Hiding not trying to fight at first
bd-1: baby baby baby best friend baby
cere: director said cut but whoever made the characters for JFO heard 'serve cunt' and thats why they managed to one up Cal with such a complex and interesting character
greez: the only way I can describe him is he's an Uncle. uncle greez <3 i love him he's so good. he doesn't know what's happening w all this jedi malarkey but he's trying his best and i love him and he loves cal and this funky lil found family <3
merrin: [borat voice] mai wiiiife
that one boggle whatever the fuck it was called: why did i need this to get the full crew achievement. like sure its adorable but why
#ok but being serious abt merrin she's so cool i loved dathomir so much and her story's so Wow and i love how she parallels cal#and how their journeys r the same#thanks for the ask!#i cant tell if i want them to be best friends or kiss#cal gives me bisexual in a gay way vibes and merrin gives me bisexual in a lesbian way vibes. do u know what i mean#i think i want them to be besties but also both of them need therapy or a good shag and i dont think either of them r gonna get therapy soo
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Thinking abt my teenage years .
#and the tumultuous feelings#I came across some drama scene lol and got reminded of boys. like. as a genre#like teenage boys. they r. insane#abt how ppl do things that are unnecessary as if they are oblivious but i rlly wonder is everyone really oblivious#also maybe im just really easy to win over like do i stand a chance against the fitnah of this world man#i rmemeber this kid. A whole grade below me. the new board member for my friend's club. I was helping her w/ club stuff on the computer#(he was also tall and kind. that. was the problem. not to be a sterotypical Girl. but)#and this kid casually just. leaned over me and put his hand on the mouse (on which my hand alr was)#like. how do u do that. casually. unintentionally.#obv i pulled my hand away and avoided him since lmao cuz. who wants to catch feelings for a whole 10th grader when ur in 11th grade right#ig thats why it was a shock to me. i thought boy-crazy mali would just like whoever it is she talked to first. and yet here i am#having talked to at least 3 million guys on 3 million blind dates and yet found none of them attractice#attractive*#is there smth wrong with me lol. maybe i just like the idea of guys. and not guys that i actually might end up with lol#lskdfjalkfd#anyway ig was living my best life these past few months being too focused on not feeling well to think abt boys as a genre#cuz yeah what a waste of my morning today thinking abt all this garbage#💀💀💀 oversharing again oof its been a while since i felt the need to do that man#i swear shaitan waits for Friday to whisper stupid stuff into my brain#like. let me live i just wanna read surah kahf and teach my classes ugh#delete later#uhm also like. ik its a 10 year old story but i hope to god my friend isn't following me aldkjfaskdjfaf#can u blame me tho. i was. like 15 or 16#it was much easier in middle school there was only like 15 boys in my grade and i disliked them all
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Tbh fellas my identity has reached a point of true “idgaf” (it has been like this for months actually. Lolz.) Thinking abt it gives me brainrot. Pronouns? Idc call me whatever. Gender? I am not a man that’s all I got. Sexuality? Idk. I don’t wanna date people tho!!!!!!!!! I don’t wanna find myself!!!!!!!!!!!! I am Aaliyah sammydem0n64 and I am autistic and that’s it‼️‼️‼️‼️
#could have a serious thing abt this but. ew#been on my mind for a while now and it’s 2 am so I get to have introspective rambles#labels r hard. sexuality and gender is a spectrum. I’ve never cared abt pronouns but they/she is easier#maybe there’s a fear that if I’m cis or something people won’t like me for having queer characters#maybe my peers won’t respect me anymore bc boooooooooo to non queer people yucky yucky#but also I don’t think. I’m cishet I don’t think so#but also I just don’t know and idk if I’ll ever know bc I guess I don’t know how!!!!!!#I’ve had 1 romantic relationship and even then we mutually broke up bc we realized we were just best friends#and got platonic relationships mixed up with romantic#and I haven’t wanted a relationship since lol#am I aro? idk. I find people attractive. I just don’t wanna date people rn and maybe that’ll change#am I a woman? idk. I like having boobs. I call myself a woman. but am I one? fuck if I know#like I said I’m just not a man. I’m not a man solely#I don’t identify as one and won’t bc I’m not that. but that’s the only solid#but idk if I’m non-binary. I’ve identified as that for so long that perhaps there’s a fear that I’ll be looked down on for ‘detransitioning’#i don’t know what I am. I’m just me. I go by any pronouns and I like a wide range of fictional characters over several genders#unlabeled for the win I guess but also being ‘unlabeled’ has inherented turned into a label. so#I’M JUST AALIYAH SAMMYDEM0N64‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#I don’t think this is a vent I’m being silly with it + plus it’s introspection with mentioned fear. I’m just rambling#lol anyways 😋😋😋😋
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reconnected w some irls after v long time not rlly talking 🥹🫶🏼
#🌙.rambles#i've always been an introvert n more on the quiet side but typically w friends i end up being more. IDK THE WORD but YEAH#i genuinely hope these irls i'm talking about do not see this....#that said though it genuinely. i genuinely got so surprised i wasn't expecting a notif from a new gc#w my old friend group from gr 6 no less oh god 😭😭#THEY REMEMBER THE. NOOOO MY CRINGE GR 6 SELF....#i nearly forgot i wrote THOSE kind of things n on fucking paper too .#dark dark days fr oh dear#these friends r. genuinely rlly special to me though even tho i haven't talked to them in so so long#i'd consider them childhood friends honestly . gr 6 was the peak of my cringe but free days in school#thinking abt dynamics n i typically am more on the observant quiet side at times but dear god i am chaotic#i'm still rather shy bcs it's been a while since we talked after all but#it's certainly comforting ig being in an environment i think where. i'm familiar with it. these people were once my closest friends#n esp since they've known me for a while they know how Weird i am n they're on a similar level of weird too so. 🥺🤍#i'm embarrassed tho oh that brings back memories i used to write so much#💀 never again will i write that kind of stuff though. maybe when i'm of age but god no never again until then#honestly they weren't the best influences in that regard bcs i probably know too much about that aspect for my age BUT#yh i still consider them my friends honestly they mean a lot to me c:#i wna get closer again or at least. yk really keep this contact this time around#omg back then i used to be like. i was v chaotic yes in our friend grp but like. 'mom friend' i Think yh >.>#hehe remembering i've always loved teasing my friends. thinking as well abt all the times i've made others happy or helped them or#thinking abt what i mean to others rlly make me happy. the times where i can really i assess myself the same way i do others#really remind me that i'm human too. real. yeah.#that was like. the biggest friend grp i had bcs now most of my close friends r like. most of them don't really know each other#n i don't keep contact w a lot of ppl in general hfjldskdl save for ppl solely on social media i'd say i rlly only keep contact w.#typically. 3 irls.#WAIT WAIT 🥺 i got a notif from messenger my best friend from gr 4 saw the gc aaaaaa#she was always like a big sis to me n. it's crazy actually that we're like 3rd cousins or smth. dad's side#she's so smart i always looked up to her! she kept up w sm of my weird antics as a kid n uwahh my writer friend back then c:#i miss those days so much 🥹🫶🏼
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now one cares if ur mom loves you soooo muc and u love her soooo much and ur omg arent mothers soo great always bs. shut up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#(BEING VERY PETTY BC MINE SUCKS SO FUCKING MUCH)#but also if i have to see the post bieng like 'oohh imagine sweet nothing with how your mother always loves u unconditionly' everywere#(which good 4 u stop acting like thats the universal experience for everyone it fucking isnt)#then you all have to deal with me platonic-fing it and making it abt friendship. sucks to suck loser !!!!#like what if the soul deconstructers *are* my parents in my experience. what then bitch !!#sorry im rly just annoyed abt that one post bc i feel like theres an obsession among swifties to only every understand each song in a way#that like. does or cld fit within her life instead of relating it to ur own experince esp in regards to them all being abt romance#like ppl being like 'i cant believe ppl think x song cld count as a platonic love song when its obvs abt romancce'#or not understanding how the emotions expressed in a song abt a traumatic break up could also be related to other trauma#including trauma inflicted by a parent/friend/ any other relation someone cld have to someone#but the one time !! relating one of her songs to smth other than roamnce is acceptable to swifties its the stupid fucking#'ohh my mom is soo great shes the best' bs thats a sure fire sign the person saying it will never take anyone whos been mistreated#by the parents serious and just respond w 'but its ur momm u have to love her bc shes ur mommm :((((('#sorry ik im being needlessly bitter which sucks bc i have a a good point here like can we just let ppl relate to songs in whatever way they#want to and not care abt their being a 'defnitive' meaning to the song bc the whole point of art esp music is how YOU relate to it#also like. that post isnt bad at all its acutally completely fine im just bieng dumb and projecting ig bc i feel like the emotions of ppl#whos parents were good to them r always taken more seriously like. if i made a post talking abt relating the 'give me back my girlhood' lin#to my experince w my shitty parents i feel like it wldnt be taken as seriously as this 'uwu i love my momm' bs yk. anyway maybe im wrong !!#who knows !!!!! maybe i shld try to talk abt how i relate her songs to my personal experinces more#also i am being rly dumb sm bc ik other ppl have spoken abt relating her songs (esp mtr and tolerate it) to shitty parnets but iv also seen#ppl treat that like its dumb which is stupid !!!!! who cares !!!! ur being a dick let ppl relate music to whatever experiences they want !!#anyway. i think i seem more pissed her than i actually am im just annoyed bc this is a pet peeve of mine lol#flappy rambles
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i made such a fucking stupid mistake when talking to my parents at dinner i literally want to die
#relaying the events of the day and it slipped out that my best friend (producer man ive been talking abt)’s boyfriend called me a banana on#account of my being part chinese but raised in australia or what have u and my dad goes well thats racist#and like its not rly yknow like this man is chinese and im only part chinese and dont speak the language and was raised in australia and#on and on but more importantly is the fact that my dad keeps trying to raise equivalents to racism#like he wants nonwhite ppl saying something about white ppl to be ‘racist’ because white ppl saying something abt nonwhite ppl is#and he just doesnt understand its different and i tried to talk to him about it the other day and it didnt work#and so my mum goes ‘nessas going 2 sit u down one day and explain it all’ and EYE went ‘im not’#when technically i SHOULD and i will have to because no one else is going to do it and it shouldnt fall to my mum but i fucking hate it i#hate it i hate it why is this such a problem why can he not just fucking understand or put some effort into understanding#he is not racist on a big scale ofc but he will do things like this and for whatever reason theres been a few things like this in the past m#month and he needs to fucking stop and i dont know how to get him to and i want to die#i barely ever bring up race or whatever bc its such a loaded topic so i dont know why i was so stupid tonight (v v tired)#my parents r probably in the most stable point of their relationship they have ever been in and this could very well blow it all the fuck up#and that would be justified on my mums part#ive just had it ive had enough#AND THE THING IS IM NOW JUST GOING TO LEAVE NEXT YEAR???? leave my baby sibling w all this ?????#its too much i cant do it#and like idk !!!!!! its all so much i hate it all so much as if i didnt feel guilty enough abt not being chinese enough or indian enough or#fucking ! australian enough !!!!#dont mind me im fine#this isnt that big a problem realistically
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my wifeee fell asleep before we could do our nightly call *crying cat face*
#i moved in with my best friend/gf so i’m not living in my wife’s apartment anymore#this arrangement is temporary tho#not gonna explain the whole situation but basically landlords r so sucks#this is until i Finally *finally* fuckin finally move to tennessee#luckily my gf is like abt 30 mins away from my wife so she can visit whenever#she visited today ^_^ i had so much fun and missed being held by her#even if it had only been two days ago since i last saw her in person#i’m getting used to us not physically living together anymore and this is kinda a test of how it’ll feel#aaaaa#*misses my wife so much and loves he more than anything in the universe*#🥀#diary 📖
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"you have general anxiety, you are deficient in several things, and you may also have autism" local doctor states to me. referral for assessment and cognitive ball therapy pending, however
#maggles ramblings#i didn't know which mix of the two 'c b t' acronyms to use so i made my own. no balls will be undergoing therapy in my health plan though#ANYWAY !! due to the anxiety bit she knew i disliked unplanned change. so asked me if my interests were kinda narrow#and I'm like. absolutely. there are specific games n shows i like and that's all my brain knows or cares about at any given time#and she asked how good i am at picking up social cues. and i wasn't sure abt that one but i know ive always been more of a social observer#in primary school especially i was like. 'must watch peer interactions so i can spot any traps that may lead to me being made fun of'#like i didn't get why it happened; i just tried to observe and avoid what i could#and i still feel like i don't always Understand most of my peers. my best friends have always been the ones who also weren't great socially#bc with them there was never any 'secretly judging you/not interested in what ur saying/can tell this conversation isn't natural for u'#kind of vibe. idk it's tough like i feel like i am Some level of good at social interaction but also feel like im just pretending to Get It#and there's just. certain people who match my vibe and won't think im strange or too passionate about the things i like. those r my friends#but yea anyway she said some of it could be the anxiety but it was just! a relief honestly. to know that Maybe there's a reason for#how I've been feeling a lot. for a lot of. life i guess#+ even if it's not that and it Is just All Anxiety; it'd still be a relief knowing precisely how it's impacted my mindset for things#but like also it'd make sense to me if it was both. bc i do indeed get v nervous about not knowing How to Do certain social situations#in new situations i often plan what im gonna say and write notes bc if i don't know what to say or do i get overwhelmed and cry easily#but YEA it was just. cool hearing that I'm not just Completely unfounded in my suspicions about that yknow#afterwards even my dad said he's thought of it as a possiblity for years and I'm like WHY DIDN'T U TELL MEEEE#but anyway. day is being had
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anither thjng abt parasocial marketing is like. i am nobodys number one fan LMAOO ik i jokingly say like Im daft punk discoverys number one fan and yk i do love it. but i donot think im in the top 0.00000000000001% of fans simply bc like. i think im insanely normal abt celebrities and ive seen how some ppl abt abt celebrities
#my thoughts on celebrities literally range from like. Extremely bad if theyre a sex pest to just like. idk he seems fine ^°^ <- shruggie.#there are no celebrities on this earth who id like. Die for ykwim. NDBTJFNFN. like ultimately in the class war ill kill every celebrity idc#redistribute the wealth my brother. but like i have 0 thoughts abt like omg i bet wed be FRIENDS in real life ! bc idk these ppl#and rly if we met in real life we wouldnt have anything to talk abt bc im not and never will be obscenely wealthy. ykwim#like theres nothing relatable to me abt celebrities no matter how much they try to be like Omg teehee i stub my toe sometimes !#like... ok. anyways#like i dont see them as nonhuman or as inherently superior to us peasants or whatever. i hust see them as humans who live such a charmed#life im never going to be able to actually relate to them. obviously ik there r downsides to being a celebrity but even the downsides are#something im never going to experience Saur yeah basically. idk parasocialism judt doesnt work on me im just like She seems like a fine#person and i enjoy her work. and thats the gist of it#obv like conversationally i on occasion will be like Okay britney spears is legit my best friend#but thats entirely jokes FJNFJFNGJG#idk. basically idc abt celebrities is the gist kf it
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"H-Hi... we're back home..."
"But... sergeant, what's going on? Do you feel sick?"
"Don't worry. How are the guests?"
"I will be eternally grateful to her... if Lady Natsumi is leading the team that's in the kitchen I'm certain that our guests will appreciate it a lot..."
#ita dub#keroro#this adaptation choice is deeply interesting to me because it seems to be paralleling keroro and natsumi implicitly#as in. he trusts her leading skills with it deeply. an implication im not seeing in these subs#another thing that makes me think a lot is that when fuyuki asks how he feels. he replies to him not to worry#while the original im okay is obviously and visibly a lie. don't worry however implies that his status of health is unimportant and#shouldn't be focused on#they're saying the same thing in different fonts basically but i thought it was a neat thing#however the second part has more difference in that keroro is Deeply grateful for the fact natsumi chose to help him#''this is just wonderful '' is what it is... obviously... but him being grateful makes me think he wasn't expecting her to help him in the#situation and take the lead. and he trusts that she'll do a great job. which is obviously true in both#he is crying anything so it is something that touches him regardless of the dialogue#there is a focus on just natsumi specifically in the ita dub. the ''others'' are not mentioned at all#anyway take it for what it is ig#i mean these ita dub posts r mostly for me anyway to infodump to my friends who are english abt this series im watching in ita.#and archive neat differences no matter if i think they're better or worse or just different#no one has ever been this thorough in seeing what changes between the two versions in this anime i love so much#i found old forum posts about keroro ita adaptation and everyone was praising it as one of the best ones we've gotten#i feel like that is true and accurate. but i also wanna look deeper and deeper into it#i could just leave it as ''its pretty accurate!'' and it's true but youve also seen that in many ways. it's not. but it doesn't make it bad#an adaptation. by need and design. will never be like the original#nor should it aim to be. bc thats impossible and it would just become lackluster. i just.. have an intense interest in analyzing the choice#that were made when transposing this anime here. on all fronts. maybe no one gets it quite like me. but ive seen some appreciation and it#made me really glad. that people who dont even speak italian can know MY experience in watching the show#and then i can learn the intended experience or a closer version to it (subs are adaptation too! they wont be fully accurate!!!) and have#so much of it. different ways of it. to parse my best interpretations. it's so fun. erm anyways. enough talking. u dont get it probly#ive 👀 ppl criticize fuyukis voice but thats simone d'andrea hes a close friend to patrizio prata and they always did guys together in anime#dont be disrespectful to italian VAs ever or you will face my sword. unless i allow you specifically. like every1 pls say peridots VA sucks#it probably wasnt even her fault thats the director telling u to do something that doesnt work. it's so bad.#on the other hand i would lay down train tracks and die for stevens voice. riccardo suarez. the light in a dark tunnel. voiced yumyulack to
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TLT Dash Simulator pt 3
🪦 crossedrhodes Follow
just found out my gf died 7 months ago and ive been being catfished by some necromancer using her beguiling corpse i hope the devils get me
💊 heptanary-secretary Follow
omg imagine the meetcute tho... op talk to the necro
🐮 hucowjimin Follow
OP has powerful necro baddies in his area and is abt to fumble due to the grief
( 577 notes )
🦴 femur-i-hardly-know-er Follow
( 18,012 notes )
🗝️ darkjackgaius Follow
my horny ass could never be a flesh magician
🗝️ darkjackgaius Follow
easy website.
( 41,902 notes )
💣 fuckable-fascists-bracket Follow
📜 sarpedonefang1rl Follow
and whos fucking surprised. of course the recency bias strikes again
⚜️ awes-ashtray
Some1 is angry their old man bias is unfuckable 💀💀💀 Argue with the wall.
#a vote for awe is a vote against coquetteposters #the fact that therez an entire fandom for the weirdo oldhead fascies is soooo craz to me ngl. #we r voting on most fuckable here. that is da blogs point. #your blorbo is geriatric his dick dont work :(
( 6,192 notes )
🐱 cohortcatgirl Follow
I’ve seen a lot of bad information circulating about what happens when the cohort converts a thalergenic planet to a thanergy planet so I wanted to clear up some misconceptions ^u^
Converting a planet does NOT make it unable to sustain life. If thanergenic planets couldn't sustain life, no1 would be able to live on the nine houses!!!
The wildlife does NOT get mutated. How would that even work? I stj people they don't hurt the wildlife, they only affect the planets! The 'varmints have best friends' campaign is honestly just in bad faith :((
Devils are NOT real and if they were you should really stop posting about their tongues [weird!] U guys really cannot tell what is and isn't fearmongering these days and itz kind of concerning ngl
Keep reading
💀 towerofficial ☑️
worth a read :)
🐱 cohortcatgirl Follow
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#HAIII MR UNDYING :3
(9,114 notes )
⛓️ siphonslut
being held down by my bone magician's constructs is something spiritual fr. skeledoms there is a special place for you in the emperor's eyes 😩😩😩
#nsft #c4n #cav4necro #osseoromantic
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👤 is-the-emperor-undying-dead-yet-deactivated-2917483
nope.
💀 towerofficial ☑️
It's in the name how are you guys not getting this by now
👤 is-the-emperor-undying-dead-yet-deactivated-2917483
💀 towerofficial ☑️
mods can we ban this guy
( 12,187 notes )
#SORRY THESE R WAY TOO FUN TO MAKE#the locked tomb#dashboard simulator#dash simulator#gideon the ninth#tlt#nona the ninth#ntn#gtn#htn#harrow the ninth#ntn spoilers#john gaius#kiriona gaia#ianthe tridentarius#ianthe naberius#admiral sarpedon#THE PLANET PROPAGANDA ONE WAS @IHATETUCKING'S IDEA ty max my buddy max#gideon nav
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idk why i keep thinking abt angsty loser!ellie… she is my baby
nsfw! just ellie masturbating n crying (me) 𝜗𝜚
pts 2 & 3 already posted!
a wonderful anon said my fic reminded them of this song and they r so right… listen to it rn
daily click! do not buy tlou free palestine 🇵🇸
ellie was so in love with you. she is so in love with you.
you are her light. your smile, your laugh, your everything. she just couldn’t get enough of you. being friends with you was probably the best blessing god could ever gift her, yet also the worst punishment.
she knew she could never have you.
not in the way she wanted, anyway.
you talk ellie’s ear off almost everyday, and ellie never gets tired of it. your sweet voice that felt like pure honey and warmth being poured into her ears. so sickly sweet. she swore you were a siren of some sort.
you were so perfect and you didn’t even know it. you would tell ellie about your escapades and little ‘situationships’ as you’d like to call it, and it made her sick. every last person you talked about seemed like shit. she couldn’t believe that you thought that’s all you were worthy of.
she would worship you if you gave her the chance.
she told you the same thing each time: “fuck them. you know you’re too pretty for them anyway.”
and you were always grateful for her. who else would remind you of your worth? you needed her, she was your rock. your fidgety, awkwardly nerdy rock.
she was always the shy type. or she was around you, at least. she was never too bashful, but sometimes she’d slip and show you just how nervous you make her. her freckled skin would turn all pink, her eyes avoiding your gaze. she’d have an awkward, thin-lipped smile, and you could feel the clamminess of her hands if she was touching you. you’d find it cute, how she’d just melt if you two were touching or you’d give her a compliment on literally anything.
but what you didn’t know, is how she hated herself for it.
after anytime you two hung out, she’d go home, stomping to her room and looking down at her feet. “so fucking stupid.” she’d mutter to herself, thinking of all the times she stuttered around you or got all warm in the face. but without fail, each little mishap would lead to her in her bed, a string of curses leaving her mouth while pathetically fingering herself to the thought of you.
one particular night, she had shown up to your house unannounced. knocking at your door, leaning back on her heels as she waited for you to open up.
she doesn’t normally do this. she never does this. but she thought maybe you two had gotten close enough. just enough for her to show up at your home anytime she felt like seeing you.
so when you opened the door, and she saw your hair a bit disheveled, your cheeks flushed and what appeared to be a hickey below your jaw, that thought quickly went away.
“fuck, els. i’m sorry but… really bad timing.”
you said with a light chuckle, giving her an apologetic smile. she just stared at you, eyes wide and her cheeks red.
“fuck. i’m sorry, shit. i don’t know why i showed up here— i wasn’t thinking. sorry.”
she mutters, stuttering over her words. she hated how her tummy got all fuzzy and how her boxers suddenly felt all warm and soaked. all while having the biggest lump in her throat.
before you could say anything back, she was already speed walking away from your front door, down to her car. she got in and drove away, not even bothering to see if you were still there, watching her.
she felt so fucking stupid. her vision was blurry as she drove home, speeding until she finally parked in her driveway. who the fuck was in your house? which one was it fucking you? did they even love you like she did? she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
she swung the door open, then slammed it behind her as she ran to her room. she closed the door and locked in, and let the tears flow. she kicked her beat up converse off, and aggressively rubbed her cheeks to get rid of the wet tears that rolled down them.
“fucking idiot.”
“why the fuck would i?— god.”
“what did i think? she doesn’t love me.”
she mumbles to herself, all through hiccups and stuttered breaths. her pretty cheeks are wet with hot tears, her eyes red and watery. even her poor nose is all stuffed up, making her sound nasally as she dumbly insults herself.
one by one, she removes her clothes. she fiddles with the button of her jeans and undoes it, hooking her thumbs under the band of her boxers at the same time, and kicks it all off. she then moves to her hoodie, messily taking it off and cursing when it gets stuck on her little bun. she even takes her sports bra off, which she never does.
fully naked and vulnerable, she turns all the lights off and crawls into bed.
she sobs into her pillow, feeling like some pathetic idiot. she doesn’t know why she ever thought you’d feel for her the way she feels for you. she felt so fucking perverted too— getting wet over the idea of you getting fucked. getting wet over your smile, your touch.
she sniffles, her slender hand slithering down to her pussy. she sighs as her middle finger lightly swipes by her clit, feeling just how wet she is. she brings her ring finger into the mix and circles her clit, gathering all the wetness from her clenching hole.
she moans, quietly. ellie isn’t typically a moaner, but she is right now. she is for you. she rubs her clit rapidly, the sounds of her squelching pussy filling her dark room. she closes her eyes, not wanting to cum too quick. she stars to think about you, and her fingers go to plug her hole.
she imagines you below her, giving her that sweet smile as she made love to you. she wanted to love you so bad, it hurt.
“oh god— shit,” she whined to herself, legs spread and feet planted on her bed, knees bent as she mercilessly fucked herself to the thought of you. she wanted to make you cum by her fingers, mouth, cunt— whatever the fuck you wanted.
her imagination switched to your mouth on her pussy, lapping at her clit and eating her out like you’d die if you didn’t. she let out a shaky whine, imagining that her fingers were your tongue, moving in and out of her as your nose nudged her clit.
ellie’s breath sped up, her eyebrows knitted upwards as she felt that hot, sticky feeling in her belly just come flooding out. her cunt pushed out and clenched around her fingers, as she cums with a strangled cry. her body covered in a thin layer of sweat, and her thighs trembling as her slick came gushing out of her, staining her sheets below her.
she slowly pulled her fingers out, catching her breath. she could feel her heart in her ears. but the ache never left. she’s still crying, just not as theatrically. she doesn’t even bother cleaning herself up or her bed, just turning to the side and hugging her pillow. she shoves her face into the plush pillow, her wet face dampening the fabric. and there, cum sticking her thighs and pussy together, naked, she fell asleep.
and she’ll never move on, either. you haunt her, even in her dreams. doomed to love you in every reality.
aaakkk i dunno how to end these 😖 this is my first fic(?) drabble thingy ever so pls be gentle haha lol ☺️☺️☺️👍
this is so rushed bai 😑
#ellie williams#tlou2#abby the last of us#abby tlou#ellie williams smut#ellie x reader#lesbian#tlou part 2#ellie#ellie x fem reader#ellie smut#wlw#i hate this#i’m nervyyy#is this too long#loser ellie
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nah fuck
#delete later#when i said i was okay i genuinely was fine save for the physical pain but#how quick words that were once truths turn into lies huh?#ah fuck i want to block out the whole world. i want to destroy it all. it's all so fucking worthless#maybe hormones r just fucking me up rn n i'm just emotional but#no bcs i was doing emotionally decent earlier but i just rmbered smth n i feel like crying again#i want to disappear i want to hide i want to say goodnight#stupid mood swings . n i rmber again abt all the things i have to do rn & i want to focus on myself n my work but#it's september rn right?#two years ago i think i was in a similar predicament where i was drifting from both reality and fiction. from my life in general#distancing myself from others. stuck in that oblivion#i don't know why i've been more keenly remembering 2 years ago recently.#nah actually it's probably bcs they were the friend grp i had back then that i cld really share n be myself freely#but they knew the good n bad of me. ultimately decided to let me go in one of the darkest times of my life#which damaged me for a while bcs i struggled believing i was deserving of better but i ultimately became my own best friend#but that time in general was. a time where i was alone. deep in my passions. idling my time#a bit empty a bit lost. not exactly sure what i was doing in my life but i was content being alone before i realized how nice it was to#share yourself. if i wasn't alone then i'd love that again but in times where i'm tired n drained i just make even more failures#n i'm not sure how to face the ppl i care for when i'm dealing w the guilt of not doing more of what i could be capable of in a moment#from cringe tumblr stuff to irl problems. they supported my writing in a time where it was hard for me to have consistent inspo/motiv#nah every year i swear i meet new people n the story repeats. different ppl different chapters but same trope#last year with ffxiv. mostly the only ppl i talked w for the year ever since joining that fc in june. n to october i barely talked w others#this year i've been more attuned to my reality but i think i've been slowly losing sight of a part of myself that was strong#when i was alone. but i'm afraid that i'll experience that emptiness again from late 2020 to early 2021#video games in general & ffxiv specifically helped fill that emptiness. it healed me.#i don't rmber much in those months other than ffxiv bcs i was still numb from smth unexpected that happened in earlier months#april i was stuck in the free trial n though i was enjoying myself i rmber feeling so lost n falling behind. finally buying on sale saved m#i'm too tired to think abt the present or future rn but that feels like a failure on my behalf n i can't rest#but then it also just still hurts. the same things. my friends are closer with others. when have i ever been the first choice?#everyone's special though. i'll keep on being myself then surely what is meant to happen will fall in time
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#no tags just venting#me post face reveal and meetup desperately parkouring around the fandom trying to avoid dnfing#I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM W IT LIKE GO HAM GUYS but I am so aroace and it irritates me very easily#how Normal Things get twisted by their “omg dream and George are such weirdos abt each other” lens into being crAaAazy#when they just aren’t#like sometimes yes! they have done very strange things!#but most of the time it’s like guys um I think you’re forgetting what best friends r like#like I’d do X with my best friend what do you mean romantic frick off#and I don’t need to tell u this but for ppl who have talked abt how very literal Dream is “we have no plans to date” IS PERFECTLY NORMAL?#and Perhaps when they call each other best friend that’s what they mean…#George is extremely important to Dream and vice versa! they like to joke about dnf bc that’s the kind of relationship they have!#and that makes perfect sense to me! so my tolerance just So quickly flies out the window when absolutely every action gets reframed to how#Crazy and Weird Romantically they are#like wow omg George and Dream are extremely happy to meet up it’s almost like …#they’re best friends who have in almost a decade Never seen ones face or been together in person?#wow it’s almost like that’s an intensely happy moment for anyone and a random screenie of an expression doesn’t make them secretly pining#OKAY bitterness over I just needed to vent#I am way too aro to deal with too much of this at once but trying not to step on any toes#by keeping it in tags#lynx says things
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can i just not have my birthday this year. 1. everyone on earth says being 19 makes you want to kill urself 2. its the wcs and dear john age. i went thru my main reason wcs and dear john are relatable when i was 14 so im either gonna b reminded constantly that im now at an age in these songs tht describe going thru smth too young when im five years older than i was when the main reason i relate to them happened or superstition tht something worse will happen 3. having people i thought of as my best friend at the time forget or not talk to me on my birthday has happened to me twice in my life already and id rather just not take my chances with it happening a third time
#whatever. at least theres gifts. and probablygetting ignored#yk whats so great is that im at the age where my bday is kinda painful bc of getting older but now i also have to worry#that the people i care abt the most r also going to ignore me on a day that i do want to be excited for and celebrate#to make up for how it can also be painful#whatever man. im simultainous excited and want just wanna sleep thru the whole day#like idk. maybe its just bc the main thing i rememeber abt my 18th was just feeling sad and miserable#bc yk. i have to live with the people whove hurt me sm still and ill likely never get out#and the my bday being ignored thing. yk whats soooo funny tht 2 out of the 2 ppl iv considered my best friend online#long enough for my birthday to happen have either forgotten about it or ignored me !!! 🤩🤩 so now im so scared its gonna happen againn !!#if this keeps happening to me could i at least have a bday early in the year so i wld like. not give a bunch of energy to others#before ik if itll be recpricated. i say tht like i didnt write a huge letter abt how great she was and draw patton for tht first best#friends bday when it was after mine. whatever man im just an idiot#flappy rambles#suicide ment#vent kinda yipeee
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