lil announcement —

so, i was told today that my grandmother is expected to pass away within the next two weeks. this isn’t coming out of nowhere; we’ve been stuck in a holding pattern since november, knowing the other shoe would be dropping at some undetermined point. very terrible feeling, by the way, watching a train come in slow-motion that never seems to hit you. 0/10, would not recommend.

that said, i can’t say when or how this is going to impact my presence on here. like, i might be MIA entirely for a few weeks, or i might carry on as normally as possible for coping purposes — i don’t know.

so, i guess…. heads up?

*no need to respond to this, btw.

I finally got the patients assigned to me for the hospice unit I’m volunteering for, it involves writing as a pen pal to help add some sense of happiness and stuff and I cannot share much because of HIPAA, but this one patient I have (who was born in 1933!!) is breaking me already because of the notes and about how they are saddened because of their circumstances and I am not ready to receive the final update from the care team coordinator at all oh boy

So far I have three assigned patients and I am going to receive updates about how they’re doing (including when they’re dead) and I just genuinely hope that the family members read the letters I write and know that someone who they won’t ever meet cares about their loved one and that it’s not just their medical team who cares

Ouch ouch ouch

hi friends just a lil life update under the cut

my uncle who is like a grandfather to me entered hospice this weekend and isn't doing well so i'm gonna be trying to visit him as much as possible! meaning i will be slow with replies & responding (unless i need distraction then maybe i'll be quick lol) but just wanted to let yall know! i'd appreciate comforting thoughts into the universe!

different anon here but also! palliative care is technically the stage before hospice care (where a patient is not expected to recover from their disease and has six months or less to live) and palliative care can happen immediately after a severe diagnosis. Both palliative and hospice care share in common offering comfort care and pain management to the patient, but palliative care still offers curative measures while hospice care does not offer any curative measures for the patient

asks that confirm this man (me) has never been to medical school 😔

thanks for providing the proper definition and details!

fellas is it normal to lose all interested in everything u truly, genuinely WANT to do when something really hard is happening in ur life...

Hey everyone. Still working on getting docs done and the new blog up and running, but there was some .... potentially fun news at work last week (involving a situation that was very similar to the reason I left my last job), and then my aunt (who was in hospice, so it wasn't....unexpected, but since she's my dad's youngest sister, it's still.....a lot) died. So to say I've been a little.....distracted would be an understatement. I'm still very much in the numb phase, and the fact that I'm expected to just continue about my daily life as though nothing has happened has been a lot.

Thank you again for your patience and for sticking with me through all of this. I promise I'll get back to writing soon.

it is so depressing looking at what i was getting paid for my $16+ an hour fulltime jobs vs what i get paid now but i could not have stayed at either of those jobs or i would have killed myself. for two very different reasons but i would have in either scenario

I came across these a little while ago, from a charity gala in aid of St Wilfrid’s Hospice at Chichester Festival Theatre in 2007 and was faintly miffed as I was working in Chichester at the time and heard nothing about it!

Also featuring one of my semi-regular customers, Christopher Timothy.

ngl guys.. feeling so hopeless about my situation 🫶

READMORE TRIGGER WARNINGS: hospitals, hospice, infections, terminal illness, medical, mother mention.

Hey guys... I, uh, got some bombshell news regarding my mother today. Recently, she had to go back to the hospital due to chest pain and some concerning vitals. As far as we knew at the time, she only had a RSV infection, and was still on track for hopefully being able to come home soon. Today, they told us that she has osteomyelitis — an infection of the bone, and that she will need to be on antibiotics for a minimum of six weeks in order to treat it. Both the infectious disease doctor and heart doctor saw her and agreed that she could NOT be put through anymore surgeries, they fear it would just make it worse that this point, so if these antibiotics don't end up working, hospice is her only option. I don't know what's going to happen, my feelings are everywhere and I haven't exactly been feeling too great myself either lately, so I'm sorry again I'm not around and not exactly being talkative, but... thank you all for continuing to understand. I can say I have a lot of confidence in the doctors that have been helping my mom, and hopefully I'll have good news to tell you all soon.

Top 5 music albums of all time! :)

loops hellloooo <3

ok this is so so hard bc i am an album person like i LOVE listening all the way through a good album and i have so many that i go back to but. of all time??? of ALL TIME??? ahhhh ok i did my best to pick like. top 5 albums that i have been listening to consistently for literal years w no skips

1. be the cowboy - mitski

2. i love you, honeybear - father john misty

3. trouble will find me - the national

4. how to be a human being - glass animals

5. it was a religion - blegh

ask me top 5 anything!

My 101 year old great-grandma fell this today and broke her hip. She’s being transferred to hospice tomorrow morning.

Please send good vibes her way, she wants to die naturally and without resuscitation and I can only hope that it happens when she’s asleep and not in any pain.

It’s really come to stress eating sugar cookies while I’m alone in a hospice room huh

Mental Health Check for the Ghesties! How we doin'?

uh

ive been better

ik i like never respond positively to these asks, I’m sorry whoever you are

but thank you for asking <3

also sorry to those who’ve tagged me in tag games the past while too, i do like them but between working for the past 14 days straight and some more not good things happening irl i have not had time to do them and now i probably won’t find them

Will probably have reduced activity for a few days, might be a few weeks, please let me know which threads we have together would like to be dubbed priority and I’ll keep focus on those when I can and any others not specifically mentioned will likely be on the back burner

I will have this post pinned for now and will also reblog it to my other blogs and have it pinned there as well for the time being. Please DM each respective blog that the threads are part of so that I can keep them separate.

Under cut due to sensitive topic mention

My grandma has been switched to Hospice or “comfort care” yesterday. For those that don’t know it means giving a patient what they need to be comfortable such as pain meds, water or food only if they ask for it, etc, but no other treatment or attempts to keep them alive so that they can pass comfortably. So at this point it is only a matter of time before she passes. It is something that can take anywhere between just a day to even a few weeks.

We've been preparing for it since her stroke last year and decline in recent months so we're mostly doing okay at the moment but just knowing it is going to happen but playing the waiting game can still be hard (not my first time with this but it doesn’t make it much easier), so far any attempts at sleeping for me have just turned into bad dreams so I don’t know how much I’ll be sleeping.

Like is said outside of the cut, please let me know if there are any threads wanting to be labeled “priority” and those will be the threads I will focus on when I have the time/energy and all other threads will be on the back burner until this is all over. 

can't believe i have to be a real boy here on nona release day