Making my way (makinmawaayy) through my @critter-genfic-events bingo card, and this one's filling the "fights" slot! Or rather, "post-fight", which they told me works as well. Also it's set way before the start of the stream, when they're all more acquaintances and travelling companions than the friends and family we see later. They're already buds, though, for the most part.
Posting it on AO3 ASAP Now on AO3! Hope Tumblr doesn't hide the post from the tags! 🤞
(oh yeah, side note: I do know that concentration-based spells get dropped when you either don’t roll high enough to maintain it or when you take too much damage – like both invisibility spells do in DnD. But I liked the idea of being so concussed you don’t remember how to drop a spell :3)
—
Scrambled
Scanlan is pretty sure someone’s calling his name in the distance with a certain amount of worry. It’s okay, he thinks but doesn’t say. He’s gonna get back up any time now. He’s fine.
(Scanlan is more than fine, Scanlan is a godsdamn snack, thank you very much.)
In fact, he might even go as far as to let the word drag, let some notes slide a little: fiiiine. Four ‘i’s should about do it.
(Heh, four ‘i’s. Four eyes. That’s Percy. Where’s Percy?)
So, to recap, Scanlan is fine as hell, and he’s okay because he’s always okay, even with a headache so bad he’s pretty sure his brain is leaking out of his ears. Won’t check, though, that might be gross and his stomach isn’t doing too well either at the moment. Barfing while lying on your back? Yeah, no, bad idea. Of all the ways to die, drowning in his own puke is probably around number… sixty-eight.
Sixty-nine would be, of course, a particularly ill-advised tumble with someone with an ungodly number of teeth and a taste for blood, preferably that of a gnome with more curiosity than sense. As always with sex stuff with consenting adults, though, Scanlan isn’t willing to completely dismiss the idea.
Might be fun to try someday, who knows.
When he’s less tired.
Why’s everything swimming?
Actually asking out loud is out of the question, since for some reason his voice can’t even make it out of his throat, let alone his mouth –
(oh fuck no, if I can’t sing I’m toast, if I can’t play I’m dead, if I can’t talk we’re done)
– so at the price of an effort so bad he almost upchucks everything since the invention of breakfast Scanlan pivots his head juuuust a little to the left.
And sees nothing.
Well, no, not exactly. He sees yellowing grass, some dirt, a bit of sky. But nothing where his shoulder should be, or the rest of him.
…Oh yeah. He made himself invisible a while back. Somewhere between Tiberius’ Fireball, Vex’s arrows, and Percy’s pepperbox and its more-or-less controlled explosions. (Or maybe Percy went before him. Right before the world got very loud, very fast, and then very quiet. Somehow there’s a connection between this and that.) Dropping the invisibility looks like a really good idea, if only Scanlan could remember how. As things stand, he can barely remember to breathe. Oh, and also that the warm stickiness soaking up the back of his head and seeping into his collar is Not A Good Thing – not that there’s a lot he can do about that.
Things are rather quiet now. He must’ve missed the end of the fight.
Seriously, though, where’s Percy? Scanlan can’t hear the usual blasts and somewhere in the shattered mess that is his brain there’s a nagging inkling that it’s a bad sign. Or maybe there’s something else poking at the edges of his mind, he doesn’t know. He’s not exactly up to turning stuff over in his head at the moment. Turning his head was hard enough.
He’s just gonna… chill there for a while. Rest his eyes a little bit.
Which is why he doesn’t spot Vex running over until she drops to a crouch next to him and squashes his hand with her knee for five seconds.
Vex’ahlia is sharp eyes, sharp aim, sharp words, sharp everything. Her knees are no exception. Ow.
“Shit shit shit, fucking shitballs,” Scanlan hears her mutter under her breath as her hands find his head with uncanny precision considering she can’t see him. Her ‘t’s are beautifully defined, her vowels clear and precise. It’s a pity she sings so rarely; most performers would kill to have her diction.
“PIKE!” she yells over her shoulder. “OVER HERE!”
Pike, echoes the part of Scanlan’s mind that’s still functional. It would have been a small, pitiful yearning sound if he’d been able to speak. Thank goodness the word doesn’t pass his lips as is. It’s frankly a little scary just how the thought of her – the first in a while that doesn’t feel fractured in some way – quietens the part of him that’s not watching the proceedings with a detached interest. Pike is fun to flirt with and try to charm; she’s beautiful and radiant and strong, anyone with an appreciation for the female form can see that, so it’s not so surprising that Scanlan always feels drawn to her like a sunflower to sunshine. It’s so easy to let himself get starry-eyed over her, even if she’s so completely out of his league it bypasses sad and goes straight into funny. Scanlan probably is in love with her, a little bit, like he’s a little bit in love with everyone. Just… sometimes… sometimes when he calls her the love of his life he’s not sure he’s joking.
The nausea and the waves of blinding pain relent a little.
Pike?
No, Scanlan corrects himself, Vex, who when he manages to focus for more than a second finds his gaze and holds it. Unerringly.
Which must mean… the hour is up. The spell must be wearing off.
Huh.
“There you are,” says Vex, residual magic still shimmering in her fingers after her low-level Cure Wounds. She must really be tapped out.
There is blood in her hair and one of her feathers is bent at the stem, but the most telling cue that the fight went wrong is the brittle quality of her smile. She’s good at putting up a front, almost as good as Scanlan; insight isn’t Scanlan’s forte, let alone when his head feels like it’s just been cracked open like an egg, but sometimes seeing Vex’ahlia slice her way through life like a knife, just as sharp and just as shiny, is like staring into a warped mirror.
She’s good.
He’s better.
(Usually.)
“How’d you find me?” he croaks.
Vex draws back the hand she was using to prop herself with a couple of inches from his head. Her palm is coated with red.
“Head wounds, darling. They tend to bleed rather a lot.” She cocks her head to the side. “How did you even end up all the way here in the first place?”
Scanlan’s memories still feel like a scattered jigsaw, but at least now the pieces are right side up. What he puts together isn’t very glorious. Getting punted into a rock by a giant who only heard you and who was supposed to go down easily isn’t anything to brag about. At least he can always quip about it.
“Well,” he wheezes out with a grin that might work better without the blood in his teeth, “I got got.”
Then he remembers why the giant whirled round blindly and whacked him with his club. He’d been out of any useful magic, trying to sneak up on it with a fucking sword, of all things, because the big dumb fucknut had somehow gotten hold of—
“Shit, Percy – where’s Percy?”
Vex’s own smile gets wry and just a little shaky at the corner.
“He got got,” she says. There’s a story there, but at least Vex doesn’t look like it ended in tragedy. Instinctively Scanlan relaxes into his headache. “Don’t worry, though. Pike reached him in time and Grog and Keyleth got the giant.”
Oh. Good. Percival Freakystein von Mussels Colossal de Rolo III is one scary motherfucker with his pepperbox and his glasses and his devastating one-liners, but he’s still squishy as hell. Plus, well, he’s so young – Scanlan is fairly sure he’s twice, maybe three times older. The kid must be, what, mid-twenties tops? That’s way too young to die, especially having experienced so little of what the world has to offer. Scanlan would bet anything the stuck-up nerd has never taken anyone to bed, for the gods’ sake.
They’re all assholes, in the SHITs, sort of (except Pike, of course, and probably Keyleth too) but Scanlan likes them. If the universe suddenly decides that an asshole has to get killed today, he’d rather it be him rather than one of the others.
Still, nobody needs to know that.
“Worry, me? Please, I never worry.”
“I know you don’t, darling. I’m just updating you on what you missed while you were having a kip.”
Vex’s tone is even, her words light, and yet when Scanlan meets her gaze it’s like crossing blades. Somehow it also feels like grasping hands in reassurance and honestly it unnerves him a little. He prefers to know where they stand, and usually he does: he’ll downplay close calls and tell lewd jokes to alleviate the tension, while she’ll be sarcastic and magnificent and not call him out on his lies on the occasion she sees through them. But sometimes she reminds him that both twins are like blades, swift and sharp in more than one way, and in some of them she’s the sharpest. Gods, she’s terrifying.
He’s saved from having to retort something by the metallic rustle of ring mail over heavy cotton as Pike rushes up to him. Perspiration left traces in the dirt smudged across her face and her dark hair is mussed, whole locks coming out of her braided bun. She smells like sweat and leather and a little like wild strawberries, and she’s the most beautiful thing Scanlan’s ever seen.
Pike doesn’t lose a second with platitudes; she just gives him a very professional once-over, almost clinical in its efficiency, then cups his face with her hands with a look of intense concentration, eyes closed. The healing spell she pours into him feels so potent it’s practically an out-of-body experience. For a couple of seconds all Scanlan feels is warmth, clean and bright and fierce, and when he opens eyes he doesn’t remember closing his ears are still ringing.
Although that might be the blood loss.
Which would also neatly explain how weak he still is, especially when Pike’s face goes soft.
“You okay?” she asks quietly.
There are so many answers he could give her.
I am now – with a wink and a nod.
I want to have your babies – with a theatrical gesture that will make her laugh.
I am if you are – with his heart in a smile. (NOPE.)
“I’m always okay,” Scanlan finally says with a grin, hoping for an echo.
Which he gets, so points to him for being awesome. Pike Trickfoot should always have a reason to smile.
Vex snorts and somehow still manages to make it sound classy as hell.
“Sure. Which is why the only reason I found you at all was the random pool of blood on the ground thirty feet from where we thought you were. You’re lucky I’m a good tracker.”
“Fair, fair,” he says with a careful nod. “Although that could’ve been from some forest critter that met a grisly end.”
“Please, this much blood, and this fresh? How dumb do you think I am?”
Scanlan sits up on his elbows and counts off on his fingers. “One, that’s gross – two, ‘dumb’ is the last of things that you are and you know it all too well – three, thank you for saving my life – four, that’s still so gross, oh my gods. What’d you do, sniff out my lifeblood?!”
“It was me or Trinket,” says Vex, looking way more smug than she has any right to. “It just so happens I beat him at the game of ‘spot the invisible gnome’. You know, before he dies on us.”
“Oh no. What a loss that would be. Such a young, useful bear, too.”
“How scrambled did your brains get? I meant you, you dick.”
Her peeved expression eases just as quickly as the smugness hardened into a glare, and she smiles at Pike before straightening up and striding off toward the others. Her perfect hips swing subtly as she walks, in an unassuming way Scanlan knows from experience requires a lot of work. He’d find her so hot if she wasn’t so scary.
(Well, he does find her extremely hot, if only because she could break him with either a gesture or a word, but despite popular belief Scanlan Shorthalt isn’t that reckless. Even he can weigh the pros and cons occasionally before deciding that diving in headfirst isn’t a good idea.)
There’s a snort on his right, and his whole world is Pike again.
“I really don’t get your little war on Trinket,” she says, but there’s a twinkle in her eyes.
“When he starts landing actual hits on whatever we’re fighting or even just holding his own more than two minutes, I might reconsider. Right now he’s just a glorified pack mule.”
“He’s plenty useful. He gives the best massages, for one thing. And he’s a good boy.”
I can be a good boy, Scanlan almost retorts, but refrains at the last minute. The lie is too big to work, even as a joke, and he doesn’t like the sliver of truth behind it, like the glint of a blade. So he settles for a fake disgruntled huff and a grin.
Nothing falls off as he picks himself up with Pike’s help, so that’s good news. He just has to suppress a shiver at the congealed blood, now gone cold, that makes the top of his shirt stick to his back. His ponytail is a mess, a clump of matted hair half glued to his neck. Ugh, he hates having to wash blood out of his hair.
His usual armour is back on, though. Pike doesn’t seem to notice the shiver; the look of slight worry she gives him has a general fight-almost-gone-very-bad flavour of ‘are you okay’ to it.
“I am glad you didn’t get scrambled,” she says in a rare mix of bluntness and thoughtfulness that’s uniquely Pike. “You know, for good. I mean, you looked pretty bad there for a moment.”
“Aw, Pikey-pants,” Scanlan says in a singsong voice, “don’t tell me you were worried.”
Pike gives a half shrug, which he feels because she’s thrown one of his arms over her shoulders and is supporting some of his weight.
“Oh well, you know,” she says in an offhand voice, a little high-pitched, “a little? You’re never silent this long, and then Grog and I couldn’t find you, and then Keyleth said she heard the giant hit something with his club, and then—”
“Well, you don’t need to worry about me, okay? Never worry about me.” He smiles, big and toothy, to counter the frown she gets sometimes when he says things like that. “I mean, there’s really no need. I’m awesome! I’m Burt Reynolds!”
This at least gets a smile with the hint of a smirk. Still sweet, though, because Pike could make (and has made) even the bluntest blow feel sweet.
“Esquire.”
Scanlan nods carefully, mock-serious. “Right, right, ‘Esquire’.”
“Shouldn’t forget that bit.”
“No, I should not.”
She smiles at him, sharp but warm, and there it is again – the sudden urge to say something stupid, make a joke, deflect, like raised hackles, because what if she gets the true measure of him? (‘And doesn’t like what she sees’ goes without saying. There’s a reason Scanlan spent the last couple of decades carefully building himself up.)
Being a charismatic bastard means sometimes you can afford to coast on charm alone. He grins and changes the subject, as swift and dextrous as a knife in Vax’s hand, and that’s it. Matters closed.
Honestly, he’d have to be a lot more scrambled than that for it not to work.
“No, Grog, there’s already a troll dick in the bag of holding, we’re not keeping a giant dick as well!”
…Plus there’s always the next distraction. That works, too.
—
(until it doesn’t, but he doesn’t know that yet!)
I started writing this on a whim and then couldn’t decide who I wanted to find Scanlan between Vex, Vax and Pike – so I decided to sort it out with a d20, set the DC at 20 (“hard”, because he’s invisible) and roll a perception check for each member of VM using their proficiencies at level 10 (the earliest character sheets of theirs Critrolestats have). Both Pike and Grog rolled a natural 1 :’( Keyleth and Percy got a 9, and even with +10 and +7 respectively for perception they failed the check; Vax got 26 (rolled a 16 with +10 perception) and then Vex got the same number but by rolling a nat 20! Plus her passive perception is 22, so that makes sense. And she was top of my list anyway, so ^^
(I spun the whump wheel a couple of times, thinking I’d get a good handful of prompts for some short snippets (like <1k words) and then happened on “concussion” and. Well. Someone clearly had a lot of thoughts about that one...)
24 notes
·
View notes
my thoughts on asy ep 04 😋 live react !! (warning: I can never remember anyone's names bear with me + lots and lots of spoilers ahead)
Where is zhengting I'm partially here for his face card 🤲🤲
I keep forgetting how much I dislike Rain and then I see him and I am reminded but Rainism is rlly too good of a song 😭
1. PHANTOM
Okay first team up 😎 Phantom Galaxy I'm loving their concept
Albert is looking gorgeous as always HIS EYE MAKEUP?
All their voices slayed omg WHOEVER HAS THAT DEEP ASS VOICE IN THE CHORUS AYOOO
Blond's high notes... I see u
My vote would go to Albert (with ponytail) or blond dude or black hair dude with the silver makeup (Axinran?)
OKAYY team two flying to the dining hall (WHAT IS THIS NAME LMAO)
This group is somehow just better...
But blond here is a bit soulless idk I'm not liking him 😨
My vote would 100% go to Skye idk if he's one of the already debuted ones but he was INSANE I loved his stage presence rn he's stolen me, he's my fave in the whole show
But I also really liked the pink hair guy 😭 (is his name really John... I need to learn their Chinese names I cannot be calling this gorgeous man John 😭)
KENNY NOOOOOOOOOOO his hands shaking stop 😭 I hate this pls no
Not surprised Team 2 won, it was expected.
2. ONE AND ONLY (I'm so excited)
Pure Love Warrior is such a queer team name HAHA One is looking so fine today tho
They're STRUTTING onto the stage I love the energy
Not them recreating the iconic finger touch painting 😭 rlly about that pure love
Maybe I'm feeling disappointed because this is one of my favourite songs but they didn't do it justice at all 😭 the only one who caught my eyes was One. However I appreciate that they tried to bring out the silly goofy concepts while keeping it kinda mature to fit themselves.
ORENDA CALLING THEIR COSTUME UGLY 💀💀 real
My vote would go for One 🤞
Idk anyone from this Magic Cube group but I have hopes (OH WAIT IK WALKER I LIKE HIM his pink eye shadow makes me RAA I LOVE)
Every opinion Orenda has matches mine and that means we're soulmates basically 🤞
I'm liking this
PINK GUY IS SO CUTE
Whoever did the high note failed but it's ok 😭😭
YELLOW JACKET DUDE IS GOOD TOO HOLD UPPP
Red dude is making me kick my feet why is he giving like cool football player (?? Idk I'm tryna think of the American cliche) at school YK 😭😭 hes so masculine in a yum way
Okay I love everyone in this group except black and white jacket
WALKER BEING CALLED PAPA STOP NAWWW
Oh pink dude is Wang Muqing? My vote goes to him !!!!
SERVICE WHAT ARE YOU SAYING HE ATE SNOT ??? 😭😭 taking back his cool footballer status but tbh I didn't even know he missed the lyrics
okay I'm sorry how did One's group win 😭😭 I'm glad for them but the other boys were way better imo
3. LYDIA
First group is Deep Hidden yum
I'm looking forward to Archie
Vocals slayed as expected and they did better than I thought they would tbh
Hoodie guy was by far my favourite tho but Kingsley was rlly good too
Group 2 Daily Quest ee
Thier concept was really nice
The guy who opened the song had such a soulful voice I liked that
I liked everyone tbh not much to say
Sky's eye makeup is very pretty
Group 2 won as expected !!!! Gemini is so cute
Icb they're making me wait till next week for Ely and Ollie but alr 😭😭
11 notes
·
View notes
Since I accidentally deleted an ask while editing this post like a dumbass, this one is for the anon who asked me about my thoughts on a RWBY AU where Raven took Yang with her to live with the bandits. Here’s hoping you see it! 🤞
Btw don’t expect any in depth paragraphs or analysis. I started trying that and it just sounded stilted. I ain’t a good writer. sadge
Raven ditches Taiyang the moment she learns she’s pregnant, possibly due to a mixture of not wanting to be tied down and being loyal to her clan first and foremost.
She fully planned to dump the kid at the orphanage, but the moment she held the crying baby in her arm, she just lets out a quite, “…Fuck, I’m emotionally attached now.” Maternal instincts have magically developed in this universe!
Raven could continue the Branwen tradition of bird names, specifically yellow one for Yang ie Oriole, Vireo, or Tana(ger). She could also opt to retain the original name out of some sentimentality towards Taiyang but she will never admit it. For convenience’s sake I’ll stick with calling Yang as, well, Yang. Plus I can’t be bothered to think of an alternative acronym for RWBY lol.
Just because Raven developed some level of care towards her child DOES NOT mean she’s mother of the year. She’s spent most of her life fighting Grimm and humans she doesn’t know a thing about child rearing beyond giving them nourishment. And does she seem like the type to baby talk? She’s dumping Yang onto her goons. Insert the three stooges taking care of a baby here.
Raven would slowly get more involved with Yang after she learns to properly talk and becomes fully invested once she’s old enough to be trained. She’s also instills her own philosophy onto her daughter. Hypocritically, she still expects Yang to follow her orders without question.
Yang sees this as totally normal since it’s not like she knows any other kids she could compare her home life with. A family can be one single female chieftain and her band of nefarious criminals. Yang would respect Raven but feel more attached to her caregivers/tribe. This changes once she enter her rebellious teenage phase. Hormones be wild, yo.
While Raven tries to groom Yang into a potential leader, the latter wants nothing to do with it. She figures that she wouldn’t be a leader so much as a mouthpiece for Raven. It’s not like Raven would go to a retirement home after she steps down. She’d stay with the Branwen tribe until the day she dies. Even if she gave Yang full reins on the decision making, she’d almost certainly make snide remarks about Yang being inefficient.
One night Raven comes back from patrol to see a bunch of her men panicking. Yang has gone missing! Or left rather. Raven tries not to show her worry. Yang won’t get far before she comes back with her tail between her legs.
Yang DOES in fact go far. Far enough to reach Beacon Academy. Now she can finally make her own decisions like a big girl!
So yeah, she still joins RWBY but with some small changes in her relationship in regards to her teammates. They all eventually learn to trust and be more open with each other, but Yang’s relationship with them is…rocky.
Without an older sister to watch and encourage her, Ruby has become much more shy and uncertain while dealing in social situations but is also much less reckless in fighting. Yang can’t help but admire how such a young kid has the balls to start such a dangerous career. She can’t help but see herself in her leader. I would describe Yang as acting as a loving bully towards Ruby hoping that one day Ruby will take the hint and stand up for herself. But if anyone else picks on her? You’re eating Yang’s boots.
Yang take Weiss at face value. A spoiled, pampered kid who thinks they’re hot shit and who has never struggled to get anything she wants. But since she comes from a rich and influential family…Yang can try to act nice and get on her good graces.
Yang and Blake are just that one picture of two Spidermen pointing at each other. Two young girls with mysterious pasts directly tied to a criminal organization? What are the odds? Blake does come out regarding her past after being outed as a Faunus but Yang would still hesitate on revealing her previous lifestyle. Surely there must be some ulterior motive to explain why Ruby and Weiss allow an ex terrorist to stay in the group. Only an idiot would do such a thing…right? Yang is torn between seeing Blake a a kindred spirit or a potential spy.
The same story beats happen as in canon. Yang eventually open up to her teammates and briefly thinks that maybe Raven was talking out of her ass in regards to trusting people…making her take Blake’s abandonment even worse.
After the fall of Beacon Yang either becomes the unquestioning if embittered second in command of the Branwen tribe…or sticks to the original script and reunites with RWBY.
2 notes
·
View notes