#hoping for some news sometime soon
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Happy 22nd anniversary to Kingdom Hearts!
#kingdom hearts#kh#this series changed my life#wouldn't be here without it#hoping for some news sometime soon
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Another Dreamling Anastasia AU Snippet
So, this AU somehow gained some new traction over the past few days, and I remembered I still had this in my drafts! It's a direct continuation from the last post - the first time their paths cross, though I think I'll save their actual first conversation (already written!) for the next part. Mostly a lot of background and exposition, but I hope it'll be enjoyable nonetheless! Thanks everyone for your enthusiasm for this AU!!!
(Masterpost here!)
(Tag list, let me know if you want to be added or taken off: @10moonymhrivertam @martybaker @globglobglobglobob @anonymoustitans @sunshines-fabulous-legs @dreamsofapiratelife @malice-royaume @kcsandmanfan @acedragontype @okilokiwithpurpose @tharkuun @silver-dream89 @i-write-stories-not-sins-bitch)
(I don't know why it just won't let me do the proper tag sometimes... I hope the people Tumblr refuses to let me tag will see the post anyway, I'm very sorry...)
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There is a fight just about to break loose at the White Horse Inn.
It will happen because of a man; a pale, stick-thin skinny thing of a man, barely more than an ashen, grimy face under a mop of coal hair balanced on top of a ragged black coat, loitering close to the fireplace and trying not to be too obvious about soaking up its warmth. At his feet, half hidden beneath the torn hem-line of his coat, there is a bird, some sort of corvid, following the other guests - and their purses in particular - with its beady little eyes.
The bird’s master is watching, too, watching the inn’s staff collect coins and shove them into their pockets, watching the plates and bowls of food being carried about, hungry, starving-
And then he’s noticed watching, a barmaid muttering a word or two to the innkeep over by the beer caskets - and the moment the man’s eyes find the stranger, they narrow.
And in turn, the moment the stranger notices the hostile eyes on him, he seems to brace himself, something feral in the way his lips draw back from his teeth as the innkeep makes a beeline for him through the crowded pub.
Words are exchanged.
Words are exchanged, loudly.
An arm is grabbed - and the bird jumps up with an angry caw, beating its wings at the innkeep’s face, and the scullery boy runs over to help, as does the burliest of the barmaids.
(There’s that fight now.)
The stranger shouts and scratches and twists as he is dragged through the common room, towards the door, growling profanities in a hoarse, dark voice, while his bird squawks, wrapped in the scullery boy’s apron.
It’s a right mess, but perhaps not an unusual one - the White Horse makes quick work of unruly drunkards (and those who are here to pilfer money rather than spend it), and even as some guests are following the fight in fascination and with half a mind to join in just for the pleasure of throwing a punch, most of their clientele barely spares them a look. Soon, the stranger will be cast out into the cold and the night again, far away from the warmth of a fireplace, or the smell of food, or opportunities for thievery. Nothing special. Soon, it will be just a quiet evening, like any other…
If it weren’t for the fact that, over in the far corner, a familiar man, and a familiar something-altogether-else still managing a rather sound impression of one, have been nursing their drinks for a good hour already, trying to drown their failures in ale.
(The humans have robbed Destiny of his powers, torn his realm from him, burned his book - but destiny still shapes the lives of mortals and immortals alike; and it is that power, which makes Robert Gadling look up from the sad remains of his beer, and, for just a fraction of a second, lock eyes with the vagabond currently in the process of being removed from the premises.
That is enough.
With just one look, the wheels of fate are already set in motion, and our story can begin in earnest.)
"Hey, Gil." Hob nudges Gilbert's arm, not taking his eyes off the struggling, furious stranger. "Over there. Look."
"Hm?" Gilbert blinks owlishly, following Hob's nod to the commotion behind him. "Oh, yes, yes. Ghastly, isn't it? Disgraceful, that some hoodlums cannot conduct themselves in public houses with the appropriate decorum - in my days, I tell you, when the Endless were still-"
"No, look!" Hob cuts him off. "The hoodlum. Look at him, really look."
"Hrmmm," Gilbert makes a sound of polite displeasure, and fiddles with his circular little glasses, peering through them and across the room, where the haggard stranger is spitting abuse at the innkeep even as he is in the process of being shoved out of the door.
And then, "oh, good lord!" Gilbert gasps, and drops his glasses.
"You see it too, then?"
"I… yes. Gracious, yes. Like a ghostly apparition." Gilbert gropes for his glasses with one hand, eyes never leaving the stranger. "The physical resemblance - most uncanny. A good deal more malnourished and, ah… rather grimy, it seems… and yet, overall…"
"A dead ringer for Dream of the Endless, isn't he?" Hob finishes, nodding. “Better than any of the men that auditioned for us, certainly.”
“Heaven help,” Gilbert���s voice is weak with emotion, “even knowing it isn’t him, I feel like… ah, Robert, if he were only given a bath, some better garb… it would be as if His Lordship walked again!”
“Would be?” Hob’s grin is bright and hungry, like a hunting dog smelling his prey, as he pushes himself up from his seat. “Will be!”
“-and if I see either you or yer blasted bird thievin’ in here again," the innkeep snarls, tossing first the haggard stranger, and then a squawking bundle of black feathers, out into the snow. “I’m callin’ the coppers! Y’hear?”
The word the stranger spits back, gathering all his limbs and his dark coat around himself as he staggers to his feet and off into the night, is so filthy even Hob would blush upon saying it. A bit rough around the edges, this man, not exactly the model of a fairytale king - but such things can be taught, can’t they. Hob’s seen a production of Shaw’s Pygmalion, years ago, and if Higgins can make a fine lady out of a flower girl, then Hob and Gil can make a Dream Lord out of some vagabond.
“Begging your pardon, good man.” Hob leans against the doorframe, watching the stranger’s dark shape angrily stomp off through the snow, bird hopping along at his side. “Howsabout this, a shilling for anything you can tell me about the man you just tossed out of your establishment.”
“Whot, Murphy!?” The innkeep blinks.
Holds out his hand.
Hob dutifully deposits one of his last few shillings in it.
“Thank you kindly, sir, much obliged.” A tip of the hat, and the coin disappearing in the innkeep’s pocket. “Murphy’s one of the local beggars. A filthy thief, too, and no mistake. He’s trained that raven of his into it - heard the city even pays him some little pittance to control the birds in the area! They wouldn’t do it if they knew what he was doing with ‘em. I don’t like seein’ him around the Horse, not with the trouble he’s causing. Stealing leftover scraps from tables I can forgive, might even give him a full meal now and then in the name of charity - but if he goes for the pockets of my regulars, the regulars don’t come back, understand? Can’t have that.”
“Course not.” Hob agrees readily. “Bad for business, a pickpocket.”
“Just so, sir. He’s been in the London area for… oh, eight, nine, maybe ten years? Hasn’t got a trade, not very willing to do an honest day’s work in any case, can’t hold down a job for the life of him as a result. Still thinks himself better than the rest o’ us, anyway. I’d leave him alone, if I were you - he’s vicious as all Hell, bit the kitchen boy once and the lad needed to get his arm stitched up afterwards. And that raven - the thing’s a demon, swear to God. A familiar, like witches have. If we were livin’ in a less civilised age, they’d’ve strung old Murphy up for witchcraft and devilry years ago!”
Hob hums thoughtfully. “Do you know if he has fallen in with that crowd? Not idle hearsay, mind, but facts. There’s still some men in London who practise the Old Arts, does he meet with them?”
(Hob has heard that the old Magus of Wych Cross died perhaps a year or two after his greatest accomplishment; for all his powers that tore Endless spectres from their lofty thrones, in the end he couldn’t defend himself against his own son finally snapping, smothering him in his sleep, and running off with the gardener. Good riddance to the old goat, in Hob’s opinion - but he had a good handful of supporters in every major city, and they can’t all have died with him.)
The innkeep takes his time answering, staring out into the softly-falling snow.
“...not that I know of, sir.” He finally says, cautiously. “He doesn’t meet with anyone, really, ‘xcept the birds. Solitary type, is our Murphy, with no family, and no-one to miss him if he freezes himself to death some night. But.”
A pause.
“There’s something wrong about that man, if you ask me. He has a look in his eyes… whatever it is, it’s not natural. Might be magic. Might be madness. I really couldn’t say.”
“I see.” Gears are turning in Hob’s head, puzzle pieces slotting into place, plans unfolding.
A man sleeping rough, with nobody to miss him or know much of him, fierce and angry and constantly on the brink of starvation, looking just like Dream. A diamond in the rough, and quite possibly desperate enough to actually agree to their mad plan just for a few weeks of guaranteed food and a roof over his head.
Dear God. He’s perfect.
“One more question, about Murphy.” Hob beams, half-giddy. “Where do you think I could find him, say… tomorrow?”
The innkeep’s eyebrows rise up into his hair.
“Can’t see why you’d ever want to,” he mutters into his beard. “But very well. On your head be it.”
He names a nearby small park, where Murphy often goes to feed his birds, and is rewarded for it with another tuppence; and then Hob saunters back to his and Gil’s table, already feeling like he can almost taste the promise of eternal life on the tip of his tongue.
(“We cannot know for certain that he will agree, Robert. He sounds like a most prideful young man - he is much like His Lordship in that regard as well, I suppose.”
“Oh, he’ll agree. I’ve been where he is, Gil, and there were times I would’ve sold my own mother to the devil for a warm meal and a bed to sleep in. Not that the devil would’ve taken the old bat even if I’d paid him, of course, but it’s the principle of the thing.”
“That hardly makes it much better. We’d be taking advantage of the poor man’s unfortunate situation!”
“Everyone’s situation is unfortunate these days. And we’d be improving his, on the whole, along with ours.”
“Let it be noted, dear fellow, that I am voicing my ethical and moral quandaries.”
“I really don’t think our plan to scam the Endless is very ethical in the first place, Gil.”
“...now that I cannot possibly argue with.”
“There we are then.”
“However! You will have to be the one to suggest it. I will help you instruct him and present him to the Endless if you do convince him - but for now, I wash my hands of the matter.”
“Fair enough.”)
#WyWrites#dreamling#the sandman#anastasia dreamling au#i hope i will put the next part up with less delay instead of just forgetting it in my drafts again...#my tumblring habits truly are atrocious sometimes#but i really like the next bit so i have some motivation to share it soon!#especially because there's been so much new interest in the past 24 hours or so#thank you everyone! it made me really happy!!!#the least i can do is provide some actual hob-murphy interactions in the next bit (plus some matthew because he's lovely)
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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2023 art summary ヽ(´w｀) i ended up not posting most of my stuff for the latter half (yet) but i’m really happy with a lot of what i worked on!!!!!
#my art#art summary#2023 art summary#art school is actually so fun sometimes did you know that. i made so many fun comics and experimented with new stuff. sometimes i wasn’t#any good at what i tried but it’s still sooo rewarding when i improved even just a little. and it feels REALLY good#to be able to show off some skills or familiarity with materials that i use less often these days#bc i can show my marker or colored pencil drawings and my classmates who have only seen my digital stuff are excited about it sometimes :-]#bc i really just like working in a lot of different mediums and i’m really thankful that my love for art and art making hasn’t dwindled#even though of course i have dormant periods and times where i don’t feel like making art or i feel frustrated with what i am able to do#it always comes back around. just like how i always feel better whenever i feel depressed#and i just love art and colors and i love the world and the people in it and myself and all the people i have been#anyways i hope you all feel happy or you will soon hugs and kisses goodnight (extremely loud thunk on the floor)
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#sorry for posting so much today omg but i feel like i owe it to you people#work has just been CRAZY and i’m still in one piece hell so…..#but things in life are getting better!! i’ve kinda been going thru it i wont lie#i hope to update tpg sometime late this month or early next month. sorry my break has been so much longer than anticipated#i didn’t realize how bad the burnout was BUT i’ll be back to the story soon with a renewed fire & some#ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED new ideas and plans#it’ll be worth the wait i swear#in the meantime if we’re mutuals/friends feel free to ask for my pers IG#i’ll try to be online more too!!#thanks ily alllll<3333
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wanted to share my Tav from my main BG3 run!!
his name is Dylan, he's an absolute wreck, and he's dating Wyll (somehow) so of course I made a bunch of textpost memes
#Dylan Canick#Wyll#BG3#Tav#wyll x tav#idk why his hair becomes SOOOO shiny sometimes I think it's some sort of visual bug I started experiencing in later patches LOL#really hoping patch 5 drops for macs soon I want to play again but I also don't until I can also try the new content#he's not durge but I have such a track record with accidentally killing people that he might as well be#eso talks
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Late Night Thoughts
I don't know what it is but I guess sometimes the lateness of the hour, a drink (dry, white wine), and a new banger song are all you need to fuel your writing and make you write like a mad person, writing as if your very life depends on it!
Sending y'all, mewtuals, and non-mewtuals, good vibes! Consider already done, already so, your writing is unblocked (and not just your writing)! ;D
#💕xo#Have an awesome day/night always#hons!!#New-ish writing ideas (I've been actually working on this for some weeks also but I just got new stuff to add to it)!#I hope I'll publish this and the others soon!#Writing on paper sometimes or going out or opening a window helps too#Just being open you never know what will ignite that spark#Fluff/Angst fan fic mix
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being neurodivergent is all fun and games until you remember those hourly quote bots on twitter and think well maybe I can't make a bot anymore but I could schedule a few quotes a day, that shouldn't be hard. it sounds fun to have a bunch of quotes of my favorite character Thirteen from hit mobile game Obey Me! and its sequel Obey Me! Nightbringer. and then you think about how arduous collecting the quotes is going to be but she's only been in the games for maybe a year and a half with little screentime and you love collecting things so you start but then you remember that you love collecting things so naturally you have ALL of her screentime in the game and suddenly you have 45k characters of quotes and are several lessons into season 4 (which is truly a trial in and of itself) but not nearly close enough to the end but you refuse to just stop collecting the quotes and make the account with the EXCESS of what you have already because you literally only have season 4 to get through and if you don't do it just seeing the bot (because now you've been informed you can make tumblr bots instead) will haunt you with that knowledge even if nobody else would ever know. this is a general anecdote of a situation that could easily happen to anyone though and not in any way related to my life
#obey me on side#ummm i don't have a personal tag yet because i hated looking at this blog before the revamp so i'll do that later#with the carrd. usually when i say i'll do something later it means sometime in the next 3 years but i actually mean this one#but rn there's no way to tell i'm a lesbian (except for the thirteen icon. + probably also the ruri-chan banner she's lesbian colors)#okay maybe you can tell but I want to be CLEAR#anyway i would also like to note that immediately before starting this project i spent a full week lamenting my lack of free time#because I wanted to write some fics. and then literally as soon as i got free time I went um. no. quote doc instead I think#????? girl why did you do that to yourself#fortunately i'm now bored of reading s4 so i can go back to writing#unrelated but all of these fics contain a significant amount of solomon and i like him that's not surprising but it was unintentional#which IS surprising. like okay one of them is about solodeus (specifically mc playing matchmaker so i don't clickbait) so that's obligatory#and another is based off of the new solomon card (IT'S CUTE) so that's also kind of obligatory#(the third one is based off of luke's card from the dnd nightmare a while back because i was entranced by its strange unbalanced party)#but usually i try to switch up the characters i write about to get comfy with all of them and not just the ones that make sense to me#that's not entirely accurate it's my one braincell bouncing around like a windows screensaver picking a new fave every time it hits a side#but also to get used to writing them all. anyway#i'll just write about satan to balance it he's always been a fav but i am obsessed with him in nightbringer he is so offputting and tragic#if you're still reading these tags please see above on th 'later is up to three years' in regards to the fics still haven't posted anything#hoping to change that soon though I WILL eventually.
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been meaning to make an updated ref sheet for my muppet oc Marisol for the longest time!💙🍀 she’s come such a long way, I’m so proud~ <:’)
#marisol#muppet oc#ocs#just putting this together gave me some new ideas~ i hope to draw some lil moments with her and other muppets sometime soon ^^
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I dont wanna do anything today its too hotttt
#i just wanna hang out but everyone is busyyyyy 😭#and nobody gives a fuck abt what ive been up to as soon as theyve finished talking abt themselves they leave the conversation 😔#ik i get annoying talking abt my interests but its not a 1 way street here 🥹🥹#well maybe it is i guess. oh well#hanging out w the parkour lot again tmr so :D !! i made brownies to take with me.. thefastest way to make friends is to bring food :3#and ill hang out a bit w my flatmate later bc i offered to make dinner. muahaha my sick and twisted plans to spend time w ppl#ik im probably just having a bad rsd day but i know my flatmate misses our old flatmates and sometimes its hard not to feel like its a-#personal thing like ik im not as fun or cool as they were but i cant rly do anything abt that bc im just me#it is what it is!! i hope she finds a way of making some new friends locally bc then ill feel less guilty for her being stuck w me#not that i feel like im stuck w her at all i love her shes great + i like talking to her + being around her !!#i just feel like theres an invisible standard im always being compared to. IDK!!!!! probably just insecurity on my part its ok#i feel like im always harping on abt that here SORRY anyway im gonna make dough and do another hour of job apps ily bye#.diaries
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[CW: Mental illness, Kewk overshares]
You ever have a long conversation with someone who's really really interesting and it makes you feel like the Most Basic Bitch On Earth and suddenly you wanna do All The New Things at once just so you don't feel like the human equivalent of a wet newspaper (same) 😔
EDIT: I went to the grocery store on a day i dont typically go, bought different produce than usual, chatted with a dude about apples, and saw my favorite check out clerk and complimented her outfit, so i am feeling much better now uwu ✨️
#tw mental illness#im not even sure what symptom or whatever to tag this as :/#i think i just need some novelty in my life or it feels like im gonna explode 🙃#i really hope my psych eval tomorrow goes well and i can get on meds soon so i can have the energy to get out of my comfort zone 😮💨#i still like my usual stuff but i def need to spice shit up asap#k.e.w.k. overshares#edit: you dont gotta shave your head or move to a new state to mix things up guys#sometimes you just need to buy some plantains and have a spontaneous mundane conversation with a stranger 🌈✨️
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For some reason YouTube is letting me do polls now so hey, why not vote about which kinds of speed draw videos you like more
#Not that it's gonna make much of a difference until all the Requestobers are posted anyway but hey! After that!#It's just a two-choice preference about sketches - do you like seeing the entire process vs. skipping right to refining the sketch#I haven't voted so quick go vote before I influence your decision by telling you which one I like -#I think it's easier to make a scratch sketch on paper first which obviously can't be screen-recorded lol#I think it makes for a more consistent final product since it makes sure that I've got /some/thing down to go off of#But I understand wanting to see the process from start to finish I also really enjoy watching sketches come from nothing#So really just vote for whichever you like more lol - consistency vs. novelty (I guess?? Lol)#Also thinking about doing another stream once I'm fully recovered and find a good space to draw for a while#I've built up a bunch of scratch doodles that I'd like to do Something with sometime soon#Might not be til the new year but I'm planning it hopefully sooner than later!#It's just me hoping I'm recovered and settled sooner than later lol
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had such a busy week with mcr concert & being maid of honor in my best friend’s wedding & working… time to get high and play heavily modded sims
#personal#also i saved some really good urls by just fucking around and trying different shit#i love my url now but i might change sometime soon idk#kinda hoping to get a good taylor swift url once that tracklist for the new album drops#i will be keeping my eyes PEELED#also also i haven’t posted on here in like a week ): i miss this site#i’ve been soo anxious this whole week but now that i don’t have any events to be anxious for im like ok now what 😐#i really doubt anyone has read all this but if you have thuank you ily<3
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The way universities work are so different lol I need that subject bcs I have to do it JAJJAJA I have a study plan with 49 classes that I have to do them ALL and every single one is related to what I study, here in Argentina the major or minor thing doesn’t exist lol
Well good luck with everything JJAAJA YOU can do it 💖💖💖
But the jaemin scenario I will reread it with pleasure bcs it’s amazing!! The way they meet it’s super cute JAJAJA and he is so nice
What is your old blog?? I’m sorry but I don’t remember and there are a lot of nikkis here JAJJAJA I do remember saying that about the length of stories bcs if you can write something 2k you can do it with more 💖💖💖💖💖💖
Also it’s super cute that you remember the conversation 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you should be super proud of yourself bcs not only you did it you did it super good ❤️
49...... wow, really Cami good luck with that haha. i could never! is it nice not having a major/minor system? i can’t imagine what that’d be like, but it sounds like it’d be a nice system for students to have a chance to figure out exactly what they want to do. again, good luck to you! <33
my old blog was jaemxxi! i’ve alluded to a previous blog but i haven’t publicly said that here so i didn’t expect you to know that haha. but yeah of course i remember that conversation! i thought the concept of writing such long fics was something totally out of reach, but now i can’t even write a little blurb without creating a whole universe to go with it haha.
#asks#infnteen#i do hope you enjoy rereading that fic#i'll be honest - sometimes i reread it too just to relive it#writing that fic was so fun#i'm trying to recreate the feeling and revive the excitement with this new Jeonghan baseball fic#but it's just not clicking the way Jaem's fic did#hopefully it will soon! i'd love to finish it and get it out there#finally show seventeen some proper love haha
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the job has been going surprisingly ok! I got most of my hours for the week done in like 4 days and im kinda hoping next week i can cut that down to getting it done in like, 3 and then having 4 days off lol. but i do have a webinar thing to attend tomorrow and im dreading it dskkfhkj. i never do well at live meeting call thngies. I do ok at in person ones but for some reason web based ones wig me out x_x (its only like 45 mins and mic only so it could be worse??) auggh
#just experiencing Real Heavy anxiety abt it. like im sure itll be fine#but also its kinda objectively funny to have a training/basics and faq webinar. after ive been working here almost 2 weeks? LMAO??#a bit late for training isnt it?? 😭 ive been learning on the job...#ive made a few mistakes so far and my brain is like. the person is going to call u out on ALl of them and be mad#but. the guide literally said u have 3 months to get ur accuracy up to a certain level . so i know thats just anxiety talking#BUT STILL.#at least i recognized they were mistakes on my own and dont make them anymore?? like im still learning TwT;;#i dont actually hate the job its very chill and a diff vibe from my prev jobs and the work is kinda interesting#like its prob not what id choose to do ideally. but. not mental breakdown type terrible?#like itd never be enough to live off of and the work loads are very inconsistent but. yk. its better than nothing#and better than going back to retail hell. ill die before i go back.#im kinda just hoping theres a lot of new hires at the webinar so i can just knda sit back and chill w/out having to say much lol..pls dont#be a small group...#i also want to try and list more things on depop tomorrow or this weekend bc idk whats going on w me#but i like. hate evryhting i own suddenly ?? and want to kinda overhaul my style...#ugggh. my brain is full of bees lately#sanchoyorambles#i also wanna post some art sometime soon bc my art blog is STAGNATING but i havent had anything huge to post#im working on smthbehind the scenes but its BIG and taking TIME
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my toxic trait is thinking i could get to and from [state](18 hours round trip) in one (1) day
#say it with me folks: i cannot go to [state] unless i get a hotel and ask for a day off work#im looking at the map. its 18 hours minimum not including stops and traffic and flooding etc etc.#i still want to go for a drive tomorrow but i CANT go to [state] it is TOO FAR AWAY#maybe ill go fuck around in minnesota or something idk#actually yeah that sounds fun. okay i have a plan#[state] my beloved i WILL see you again soon. i just need a 3 day weekend to come see you. nothing can keep us apart#well. my uncle's land is very much the main obstacle here. and the whole drought thing. and the sparse grass.#also for my new follower here's the context: for privacy reasons i redact which state it is lol sorry but its in the west half of the US#but i went there on a march trip and its awesome and i want to move there and start dairy farming. so sometimes i post abt pining for [stat#because despite how much i need to go back to [state] its an 18 hour round trip car drive from where i am and i cant just go have day trips#which is a BUMMER because otherwise i'd be there like every fucking weekend :((#but i digress or whatever. someday i will break out of this bad state which is very different from [state] and everything will be good#(that's a joke because culture and climate etc where i live now and in [state] are like identical. the difference is [state] has mountains.#hopes and dreams post#diary post#okay im gonna go play my game now. fuck it friday time to find some koroks
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