#honestly this was really hard for me bc one of the things i really like about donna/amy in canon is that donna has never worked for amy
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I really love the "We Can't Be Friends" idea! I'm excited for the Maknae version. I will try to think of a good song to suggest since you liked doing that one so much!
For the undecided ot13 you put in the poll, what about if y/n was an actress and met some SVT members at an event and Dino mentioned (pouted) that the older guys were giving him a hard time, so you gave your number to him and said he could decide which members he would share it with, if any, when they were nice enough to him? Or if he wants to keep your number all to himself? I hope this makes sense!
Yay! I look forward to your song suggestion!! I am not quite sure how to do this so I'm going to do it 4 sections from MTL if that makes sense
ღ
First things first, Chan would probably share his number with most of the first two groups but if he had a crush on you, I could see him keeping it to himself so he could try to win you over first. I could see him being 'selfish' in this way.
Chan would give your number bc they are nice to him in general~
Wonwoo, Vernon, Jun
>> WONWOO: Especially Wonwoo, who is basically the biggest fucking Dinonaras. We are delulu if we think we are a bigger Dinonara tbh. He would've been near Chan when he pulled the "my hyungs bully me" card and would scoff because maybe the other eleven but surely not him. Chan would agree and if he noticed his friend was giving you heart eyes, he would totally push his feelings aside and set you and Wonwoo up.
>> VERNON: Honestly, they don't have that much beef besides occasional play arguments but Chan really has a soft spot for Hansol. So, after you gave Chan your number, Hansol would just give a "please bro" look which would make the younger one laugh his infamous laugh and airdrop your number.
>> JUN: I mean, who doesn't love Jun? Seventeen and Carats all have a soft spot for him and when it comes to giving your number, Chan totally would. Especially if he thought you both would be a good fit for each other.
Chan would give your number bc they'd "fight" him for it LOL
Seungcheol, Jihoon, Jeonghan
>> SEUNGCHEOL: Like Wonwoo, Seungcheol would also be near Chan when this happened and honestly his eyes would've been on you all night long. So when you gave your number to the younger member, he would give Chan a "you better share" look with him and Dino would give it to Seungcheol so quick lmao.
>> WOOZI: Jihoon wouldn't even know about the exchange between you and Chan until one of the other members had "exposed" it to Jihoon. With Jihoon it could go two ways where he would laugh about it or if he liked you, he would "jokingly" tease about lines which would make Chan fold quicker than anything LMAO
>> JEONGHAN: I can see Jeonghan pulling the freaking, "who's baby are you," card on Chan if he even hesitates to give your number to him hahaha. He'd just be like "Lee Chan, I didn't raise you like this. Give it up." I feel like if Chan told him "but I like (Y/N) though," Jeonghan would be 100% supportive and would just ask for your number to help set something up between you two. In the end, Jeonghan would have your number no matter the scenario because he's just that guy ya know?
Chan wouldn't give them your number because he found it funny.
Seungkwan, Joshua, Seokmin
>> SEUNGKWAN: Ok, so if Seungkwan didn't ask for your number, Chan might've thought about it but once Seungkwan was like "Soo... (Y/N)'s number... can I have it?" Chan decided to be a brat and would refuse to give the number. He would bring up the gift situation from years ago which would annoy the hell out of Seungkwan LMAO. They would start fighting hahaha.
>> JOSHUA: Honestly, Chan would do this just to fuck with Jisoo which would make him just scoff and roll his eyes at the youngers actions. He would remember this though. If he actually didn't give him your number and Chan needed something in the future this man would be SO over dramatic and be like: "remember when I needed (Y/N)'s number but you didn't help your hyung out?" Honestly the only time he would throw the hyung card out hahahaha.
>> SEOKMIN: Seokmin would be apart of the initial group when Chan said that he was a bully victim and he honestly laughed at what the younger one said. Chan remembered Seokmin laughing at his rizz attempt and this was his payback. Seokmin would be so pouty about which would make Chan laugh at him which would make him get so annoyed hahaha.
They would just try their hand in getting your number because
they knew Chan would be difficult about it lmfaoooo.
Mingyu, Minghao, Hoshi
>> MINGYU: Look, I said in this reaction that Mingyu fucks and is pretty confident when it comes to dating. When he heard that Chan was in charge of giving your number away he would just plan on getting it himself. If it wasn't this event, there would be another event. Since Chan's "bully victim" plan would he was sure the same speech would also work for him. If not then his face sure would not to sound too cocky or anything like that lmao
>> MINGHAO: Even though Minghao was nothing but nice to Chan, he would want to get your number more organically. He thought it was hilarious. However, if he liked you, which he did, he would want to go up to you and introduce himself and try to win you over that way. He didn't want Lee Chan to feel "pressured" or anything like that.
>> HOSHI: If Soonyoung wasn't just horanghe-ing in a corner, he would be similar to Minghao and doing his best to win you over organically. He found the whole situation silly over all though.
#wonuwrites#seventeen#svt x reader#seventeen reactions#svt fluff#jeonghan#wonwoo#hoshi#joshua#jun#s coups#woozi#dk#mingyu#minghao#seungkwan#vernon#dino#s coups x reader#jeonghan x reader#joshua x reader#jun x reader#hoshi x reader#wonwoo reaction#woozi x reader#dk x reader#mingyu x reader#minghao x reader#seungkwan x reader#vernon x reader
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HOW TTPD COULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT ALBUM
(my song breakdown no one asked for)
GREAT SONG NO NOTES
fortnight, so long london, bdilh,* who's afraid, loml, icdiwabh, smallest man, clara bow, the black dog, how did it end?, so high school, i look in peoples windows, cassandra, peter, the bolter, the manuscript
SONGS THAT ARE SO SO SO CLOSE
- ttpd:* write a second draft of the verses hon like cmon. or at least replace charlie puth with someone who is a) good b) not the 111th most listened to artist in the world
- mbobhft, down bad, and guilty as sin?* are all great but i feel like they could be doing more melodically
- florida!!! its so good but the lines about its a hell of a drug can i use you up are not doing it for me they take me out of the murderer in hiding narrative vibe
- i can fix him* is so good the second verse is just clunky
- the albatross SO CLOSE to perfect cut the fake news line babe
- i hate it here incredible song but i just feel like the lyrics are first draft and could have had another couple passes
- thanK you aIMee literally just cut it out with the caps. if it didnt say kim in the title this song would be great but its unlistenable instead. the bridge would slap SO HARD if you had actually changed her name and any real defining clues. why did you do this
- the prophecy: nearly flawless why is the word greige in there get that out
subsection: songs that i dont really have any bones to pick with but feel a little off
- the alchemy its good i like it but the added in football lyrics to disguise that this was originally a mh song really are a bit heavy handed just write a new song? idk its discordant to me
- CoSoSoM : i actually love this song but the feeling that shes maybe outing someone does take me out but i think thats a me thing bc she does really do a lot of work to hide the muse
- robin: nothing is wrong with this song i think it does a lot for people with kids? but just does not hit at all for me like i dont dislike it im just so neutral
POSSIBLY UNFIXABLE SONGS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN CUT
fresh out the slammer:* the use of this phrase is so egregious that i almost want to condemn the song in its entirety but honestly the song has some really good bits so just uh rework the whole premise??
imgonnagetyouback: sorry this song isnt bad but the olivia rodrigo issue is too irredeemable its gotta get cut or entirely reworked with a new premise you cannot unreasonably sue a child to get credits on her songs and then do this. and its way worse than get him back so youre not doing yourself any favors. just cut it
** disclaimer that these songs suffer from being about matty healy but theres nothing to be done about that
#ttpd#i just wanted to write this out for myself tbh#trying to think through my album feelings#the main point here is that i agree with some critics#she could have used a couple more rounds of revisions#that would have fixed most of these#and then it would be an album with 29 perfect songs#taylor swift
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I got the whole Snowdin movement bunch (all except for NMM!Clover back walk because my weakness for insignificant details has cursed me to have to try and learn some coding in order to make it exist in game should it ever get to that point)
Honestly the toughest part was getting the colors, a lot of these I just ripped straight from vanilla Clover
THANKFULLY I do not need to do this for the Dunes Caves or Steamworks as those seem to be a filter (which is actually what the Flowey Fight Clover is but shhhhhhhhhhh) that gets put on Clover and Martlet/Ceroba respectively (they do not appear on the massive Clover Chart so that's why I think they are filters) Don't know why it's just Snowdin that gets special sprites, maybe because then they'd have to put a filter everywhere in Snowdin which might get crowded and messed up in those rooms with shade? Idk, I wasn't on the dev team
Don't you just hate it when you notice some details you messed up when it's too late? On the side runs, some of Clover's freckles disappear for a few frames. Thankfully it's on the run animations, which are too fast for it to be a noticeable inconsistency (did you know that when Clover's head faces towards the screen for those two frames in their run animation, that you can actually see their other eye?
It's actually really hard to notice since both the eyes and outline are dark colors and also it's for only two frames while moving. It seems I'm not the only one who's a sucker for tiny and very likely insignificant details. The more you know. Also I brought this up as a whole "See? It won't be noticed. Probably." thing)
YOURE DOING ALL THE COLORS TOO???? YOURE CRAZY FOR THAT ONE HELLO!!!!
youre blue now!! thats my attack!!!! i think u did a great job translating the funky snowdin colors onto clover bc they are just kind weird for no reason GDJFJD
i looove the amount of little tiny details the dev team put in uty…. its like a drug to me
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so um. @wooyoungisbaby Isak made inquiries abt whichever way Woosan & orgasm denial, how often it happens, whether Wooyoung ever gets to deny San, and oh boy my brain started buzzing lol! it was too long to answer in the replies, so this is ummm, technically a hard thoughts post i guess? very self-indulgent, very stream-of-consciousness
sex-related Woosan musings ahead, with an obvious warning for orgasm denial, but also mentions of dacryphilia & overstim (and somehow it’s abt 700~ words?! brain why?!?!?)
so yes, in pt1 Wooyoung was on a sex ban and didn’t get to cum until he and San were back from their trip lol.
in my head, San does this kind of thing on occasion, but not too often; he doesn’t overdo it bc that will genuinely upset Woo at some point lol. (also bc it means San doesn’t get to fuck Wooyoung either, and San doesn’t want to go too long without fucking Woo :C in like, a sickeningly tender way :C that man yearns for it :C )
also a ban for an entire week like in pt1 is very rare! the opportunity just presented itself bc they’d be with San’s family for the first few days; San had mixed feelings abt getting it on at his parents house, and Wooyoung got snarky abt it so San was like ‘ok i guess you are getting NOTHING for this WHOLE trip then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯’
(ps: now that reader is also in the mix, there are some fun new levels of potential torture to the concept of putting Woo on a sex ban ✪ ω ✪ )
~
for edging / denying Woo during actual sex; yeah that happens a lot lol — but multiple orgasm overstim is almost just as likely! San loves to change it up; but any given time they have sex, there’s decent odds that either one or the other will happen to Wooyoung… or both if he has the energy >:3
either way, both are real solid methods for San to almost guaranty he’ll have Woo crying before it’s over and what can i say? that man likes his Wooyoung a ruined, teary mess lol
~
as for whether Woo denies San…
well. in pt6 Wooyoung did know that San would let himself get edged all day long ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
for this version of Woosan, that’s actually a rare kink with which they might fully flip the script and have Wooyoung domming San. (they do have sex without rigid d/s roles, but it’s rare for this San to get deeply subby. tragically ( ╥ω╥ ) it will kinda sorta happen in the fic one more time tho uwu)
and usually it happens when San is real stressed or overworked or otherwise having a Bad Time™
(or if Woo is really really really in the mood for it, but in that case he will have to be on his best behaviour first lol)
they’ll really take their time for it and turn it into a ﾟ☆*Moment*☆ﾟ and it’s lowkey kinda soft; Woo will tease San plenty, obv! Woo likes his San just as teary and whiny as San likes his Wooyoung lol
but Woo is also acutely aware that he is in the caretaker role for once, and that the goal is for San to feel good and relaxed afterwards ♡ so much bodyworship, soooooooo much praise and cuddling in the aftercare <- and the praise goes both ways, bc San is so proud and grateful to Woo for taking care of him like that ;;
(and ofc when Woo’s subbing, he will ABSOLUTELY pull an edge on San if he can; just to multitask at being a menace AND give his boyfriend a lil treat hehe)
~
…but to come full circle, i’m not convinced that an attempt to put a sex ban on San would work out so great for Wooyoung asdkjadsjk
honestly i’m on the fence whether San’d immediately shut it down bc being the target of punishment is not his thing — but i could see Woo trying it just to be a brat, OR Woo pulls a stunt like ‘you sex ban me? good luck i sex ban you right back’ lol
which derails into an outright battle of endurance bc these two guys are not just incredibly horny but also stubborn asdkjasdjk. honestly they can’t even hold out for that long bc of aforementioned horny-ness and bc they are whipped for each other, but dear god both of them are so fucking stupidly desperate by the time they cave in and shamelessly hump each other again lol oop — and it does cumulate into a round of the shortest but also the MOST high-strung sex they’ve ever had ✪ ω ✪
(bless you Isak for being an enabler, i hope you got smth out of this ♡)
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Character Ask Meme
Lyney 14, 15 and 23
[Character Analysis Ask Meme]
Would Lyney be honest with you?
With his outgoing and fun personality, it oftentimes is easy to get caught within his flow. Lyney is the charming sort, after all, that one may very well forget that he is subject to the same struggles as the rest. Get to know him well enough, though, and you will quickly realize that this is not a fact he wishes others to know. More than a desire, he needs to be seen as someone in control, as someone without weakness. That’s his role as the big brother. And if that means lying, avoiding, and omitting the truth to accomplish it, then as an accomplished performer he will do as he must.
Does Lyney prefer to pursue or be pursued?
With a penchant for flair and dramatics, it’s clear to see Lyney prefers to pursue the people he’s interested in. Really, it’s one of the things he goes all out. With a trick up his sleeve, he won’t hesitate to dazzle you with flowers pulled from nowhere and fireworks from his tophat. He wants you to be enchanted. He wants you to be impressed! You are, aren’t you? You like it, don’t you? So focused on charming you that he often loses sight of much else. Fun fact, should you attempt to turn the tables, however, you can expect his mask of self-confidence to fall to reveal a rather flustered expression beneath.
Headcanons under the cut!
Headcanons
Self-focused - If there’s one thing that’s true about Lyney, it is that he is a very busy person. As a person with multiple masks and roles, his thoughts are often preoccupied with House missions, performances, new tricks, and things of the like. So, much to the dismay of others, it’s easy for things to become buried under the multitude of other tasks he needs to take care of. How often the simple things become forgotten—where he last left his wallet, tea time with his siblings, the sale on picture books at the bookstore. During those times, he really can’t help but appreciate his siblings and their ability to keep him on track. Really, he doesn’t know what he’d do without them!
Relationship-focused - It doesn’t hit you at first, but it doesn’t take you very long to notice how hard Lyney tries for your relationship. Normally this would be a good thing, but it is different with Lyney. Every day he tries to charm you. Every day he attempts to enchant you. You tell him he doesn’t need to try so hard, but that only seems to light a fire beneath him to do even more. You see it in his eyes. He needs to know you are still in awe of him, that you like him as much as he does you. And then it sinks in, doesn’t it? He doesn’t trust you. He doesn’t trust your feelings for him. You’re not sure if he ever will.
#genshin impact#genshin x reader#lyney#lyney x reader#my writing#character analysis#okay let’s talk lyney for a bit#i think the biggest thing to know about lyney is that at his core he is an insecure person#insecure and anxious#imo he’s extremely attached to his title of ‘big brother’ that he needs to fulfill the duties if such#he needs to protect his siblings and be a person others can rely on#this belief is so strong that he refuses to rely on arlecchino for help and snaps at freminet for trying to get him to open up#he really cares about the way he’s perceived#remember when the traveler found out he’s part of the fatui and he spends his time bending over backwards to try to get them to trust him#‘like me! like me! please. i’m trustworthy i’ll never lie to you please!!’#honestly imo that’s just one if his faults like lyney is unstable#idk what possessed arlecchino to make him her successor like he’d crack under pressure#lynette is a way better option#but anyway bc of these things he would not trust his partner in a relationship. he wouldn’t rely on them#he’d never feel secure which would prompt him to keep trying too hard to ensure he’s still the person he thinks you fell in love with#the most important thing to remember with lyney is that he is a performer and the face he shows to the world is essentially a mask#on a separate note tho anon like…#you probably didn’t mean it but i am not a machine that generates text whenever you order me#answering these things takes time effort and energy#so like… if you’re going to send in an ask please at the very least say please or thank you#hell even a heart emoji would suffice LOL#sorry the headcanons are not the most romantic i’m no good with overtly romantic things
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OKAY..... finally made enough progress on R♡R for another round of playtests....! we're reaching the end (of writing. which would mean time to start on editing. and then a mountain of art)
still v much chewing on, like, "win state"... i have a fluffy/nebulous option that's like, narratively+emotionally v satisfying but in practice potentially impossible/frustrating, or a point-based option thats much more functional/more of a sure thing but might be kind of a betrayal of some of the stuff im trying to evoke...
okay maybe "betrayal" is a strong word. not gelling, more like. trying to hit that sweet spot in the middle where something is emotional and evocative and freeform (enough) but also like, actually mechanically replicable lmao
#anyway very excited. i would really like this thing to be done#i've said this a lot (at least on twitter idk abt here) but like.#the fact that this thing is fighting me so hard is honestly exciting for me? my other games have been like... not that i haven't had to-#-work hard on them but like. they came together Quickly in terms of the actual writing/ideas/etc. vs this one i've gotten stuck multiple Xs#WHICH excites me bc i feel like im growing as a dev -- i think it's a game that will seem pretty simple in the grand scheme of things but--#--it's a big deal for me. and i feel like the fact that i've had to wrestle w it this much makes me feel like it's really good#but then there's also the fear of like. what if it simply is not lol and then all this work was -- well#not for NOTHING bc i'm enjoying it and *i* will like the game at the end of the day no matter what. but ykwim
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i do wish, like, literally anyone i knew were even a little bit hesitant or skeptical about the institution of marriage where i could hear them
like—i accept that presumably the thing can be done in a more radically ~examined~ way or whatever; but how does that happen if no one ever actually, you know, examines it through a lens that’s anything but rose-colored? or at least, not out loud where some actual collective discussion and theorizing could happen?
and also i just, as always, think there’s value in voicing a variety of visions for how to live, because i think a worldmodel in which there’s a default goal, and then a stigmatized alternative for those who can’t or won’t meet it, is in fact worse for everyone, even the normie or normie-passing, than a worldmodel in which that false, stifling binary gets expanded back out into a full range of free, deliberate, joyous choice, and the original default becomes just one of many, equal, gorgeous possibilities…
#like it’s hard to talk abt this bc people feel really protective and defensive of it#which i get! it’s near and dear to people’s hearts!#but it really makes me feel like an alienated freak even among alienated freaks#and there’s literally no one i can talk to about it#so it just feels like. i’m failing at this thing and failing to feel the right way abt this thing and it’s just like#increasingly a locus of resentment and bafflement and alienation and shame and silencing and deep unhappiness#anyway yes i guess i AM saying i want antimarriage Representation#hideous but there you have it!#like ultimately yes you have to just be fine with being a freak and a failure and whatever else#but like. honestly we all need some like-minded people#existing in total isolation is. really brutal actually.#so i guess i AM actually still on the side of more ~normalization~ despite all the backlash against that lately#like i’m SURE there’s been discussion of this by eg aros#but like. i don’t want to have to go read up by myself. i want there somehow to be room in my existing circles for questioning.
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does anyone recommend any games on steam for a beginner? i dont know what i like so im open to any genre of suggestions
#my gaming knowledge is sims / spyro / crash bandicoot / sonic#honestly have no idea what i wanna play i just appreciate nice graphics n like to press buttons lmao 💀#the one thing i *do* really wanna play would be bloodlines 2 or coral island#however bloodlines 2 still isn't out yet and i backed coral island on switch when that was all i had n the developers haven't released it#and i refuse to buy it on steam when i've already technically bought it#also the part of me that loves building in sims wants zoo planet but it looks like it has a million expansions n i don't wanna spend that-#-amount of money yet until i've kinda decided i'll keep playing#alsooo the time is 1. bc im sick n can't leave my house and 2. my 1tb external hard drive is almost full and sims takes up a lot of my pc-#-so i bought i new 5tb external hard drive and figured i could store some games on there and give them a go#timing**
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oh yeah. the reason why i decided to reread tbhk (and thus it was able to hit me like a truck this time around) was actually not bc of mitsukou going canon but actually bc i maybe accidentally started a tbhk book club w my kids at work and wanted to check the contents of it justttt in case before i put the books in their hands
#tl;dr i have this one 4th grade boy who's a total weeb and knows that i'm the only one in this town who's more into japanese media than him#so he pesters me abt it every time he sees me. and the thing abt this kid is that he gets bored easily and if he does he turns into a#complete menace. now a couple weeks ago. he shows up at the program w one piece volume one and spends the entire time he's there peacefully#reading and not causing any problems on purpose. my coworker owen (the one who climbed onto the roof) and i were shocked and in awe of how#peaceful he was being and came to the conclusion that he NEEDS to have a manga volume in his hands at all times. few minutes later.#he finishes reading and isn't bored yet so he decides to go talk to me abt manga. specifically he starts pestering me abt what shonen i've#read despite the fact that i am a shoujo reader and told him that. but he knows i've read kuroshitsuji bc he previously asked me abt what#the worst anime i've ever watched is and i will never not take an excuse to drag the adaptation. and he figures that if i've read kuro i've#probably read more. and so i mention tbhk and he asks more abt it bc of the name involving toilets and him being a 4th grade boy so i give#brief overview and he wants to read it. and i come up with a scheme to make him peaceful AND to give him something to talk to me abt which#isn't 'i know you've read more shonen manga' 'let me gacha on your phone' or 'i saw an ad for rent a gf. thought it was lame. and now want#you to tell me how it sucks bc i assume you know everything abt every animanga ever' (<does unfortunately know too much abt rent a gf bc i'#a bit of a nosy bastard and watched the mother's basement video). so i offered to bring it in bc i own physicals of the whole series and of#as previously mentioned. gave it a quick reread in advance just in case. and got hit by it. hard. i love you tbhk almost as much as i love#when ppl get into things through me. honestly i think getting to live vicariously through him might be one of the main reasons it got me#this time around and not as much the first time (still loved it the first time though). flash forward a little while. one of the 3rd grade#girls is like. really into reading. and also macabre things. like ghosts. and she has two books from the school library. and has had the#same two books from the school library for over a week. she reads quickly and finished them both in under a day and is now bored out of her#mind rereading them. she asks to read the books i've been letting the other kid read. now there are two of them#romeo.txt
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Insisting that all byler evidence is reaching or coincidental (at best), when there's just certain evidence that would honestly be way more impressive if it were just a coincidence? Like, I would seriously want to get the Duffers checked for sorcery because there's just no way coincidences like this happen to these extremes.
One specific example of this, which again, I think would be a lot more impressive if it was a coincidence and not intentional, although I know even most bylers struggle to believe this one, is the CGI hearts in Mike and Will's eyes during the van scene.
Because when it comes to deciding whether a theory is plausible or not, there's obviously reasoning that goes into what determines that.
In this case, the first question one might ask is, what's the context of the scene/what's happening?:
Will hands Mike a painting. In this painting, Mike is holding a shield with a heart on it.
Okay, fair enough. But still not quite on the nose enough...
Why don't we look at the literal dialogue and see if that might support the possibility of CGI hearts:
'--It's a heart. And I know it's sort of on the nose but, that's what holds this whole party together; heart. Because I mean, without heart, we'd all fall apart--"
Then there’s the Cali poster(s):
The fact that they had individual character posters for each storyline, with the two heart palm trees visible in the Cali character posters, only to make sure both of the palm tree hearts were visible for the main byler duo poster, which was used out of maybe 6 different ones overall (1/3 couple posters), to watch Stranger Things on Netflix??
The fact that the palm tree hearts are the exact same image, just reflected horizontally???
Oh and that tweet the ST writers posted while writing s4 (the same season with the van scene):
Oh and how the first shot we got of byler in the s4 trailer was directly following the lyrics 'Here we stand, worlds apart hearts broken in two, two, two…'!!!!!?!??!:
And thats not even all? There's more and arguably even more we still have yet to discover.
Either this shit was intentional, or the Duffers are literal wizards and managed to create coincidences that even God himself would be envious of.
Because like ... WTF?
Anyways. Case closed.
#stranger things#byler#heart eyes#cgi heart eyes#palm tree hearts#'a couple hearts from me to you'#the duffers literally said lighting played a big role this season#and not only that but it took them a whole day to get the angles right for the van scene...#and so...#them playing with the artificial lighting (they set up) reflecting in mike and will's eyes#in post production#to look like hearts at times?#is that really so hard to believe?#bc honestly this is just one of those 'coincidences' to me that read as more impressive as coincidences#like I would be fucking shocked if ALL of that was a coincidence and would be way more impressed than if it were intentional#therefore I can't help but feel like it was intentional#and it just makes all the byler doubt from bylers and the denial of the ga that much more hilariously epic#knowing that when s5 comes out and byler is endgame...#they're gonna be laughing in everyones faces like... it was actually pretty on the nose...#no but literally we put cgi hearts in their eyes you guys were hopeless#will's cgi heart is a lot more prominent#while mike's tends to come and go and burst and twinkle at certain points when will says things or isn't looking at him#mike's heart tends to be showing when will's is not showing#it's incredible#also#twelvegate#owens: i relocated you guys far from hawkins bc i thought you would be safe#BOY IF YOU DONT SHUT YOUR MOUTH LEAVE THE WONDER TWINS ALONE#IM ONTO YOU
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matilda and mob psycho 100 are the only works of art ever about gifted children. i'm not interested about the rest.
#i love how their powers do carry the narrative but in a way that is so them#to pursue the things that are right to them#i also love how the adults in there are portrayed for different reasons#matilda is like yeah kids it is right to hate your parents. a power fantasy for me honestly#and mp100 has reigen fucking arataka. who is also shown to be in the wrong but has genuine love for this kid AND shows it#their messages are also opposite but not exactly?#matilda calls for rebellion against unfair adults from a kid standpoint. something i feel gifted kids perceive even more deeply#but it ends with her making a genuine connection with someone who sees her and gets her the accomodations she needs#making her quote unquote normal#and mob psycho 100 is explicitly about a gifted neurodivergent kid who got really lucky#his family supports his weirdness and never pushed the special one title on him#reigen also does this and also teaches him to see it as just one thing he happens to be good at#and yet he hides it bc he's aware it's not just superpowers what he has#in the same way gifted kids aren't only just smart a lot of the time. it's also a difference in perception of reality#and his character arc is insanely compassionate bc of this luck he had#and also filling in the aspects of himself that were hard for him to explore and grow in bc of what makes him different#this wholesomeness can only happen bc the ppl surrounding him are mostly kind#matilda's revenge is the only way she can fight to protect herself due to the environment she's in#they are both very close to me <3
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#this might be both oversharing and being too vague rn but it's 2am and i'm emotionally exhausted#i can't believe during one of the most traumatic moments i've had in the past year i was lucky enough to have scott as my biggest supporter#the entire time as i was going through it he was so supportive giving me space to process shit and always having my back#and yet there are some people in my life who are always going to villainize him for one comment he said during that time out of context#or even if they're not ''villainizing'' him i now feel like i have to begin every sentence about scott with#''yeah we don't agree on everything but we're still friends and isn't that amazing!''#which yeah that is true and i do genuinely enjoy when scott and i disagree and are respectful about it#BUT WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE THE FIRST THING I SAY ABOUT HIM????#and honestly that whole experience made me agree with scott on way more than i started out with#i'm proud of how i was able to grow as a person and for the fact that it brought me and scott much closer together#but that shit i went through at my college was still traumatic. and it did change me as a person#it completely changed my relationship to activism in a way i'm not happy about bc i want to be more of an activist#but when i had someone use social justice language to justify horrible things against me it's hard not to be wary#of how hollow and performative a lot of conversations can be#and like i'll even say it. like people might get mad at me for admitting it#but that whole traumatic situation has irrevocably changed my relationship to gender as well#or at least how i label myself and how i move through these conversations#and in some ways i'm grateful for it bc i do feel like i know myself more and like i don't have to worry about what others' think#or even what other people understand#but it shouldn't have had to go down like that. and as much as the time i got to spend with scott during that time was so much fun#and such a great experience and he was truly the perfect support system during that time#he shouldn't have had to deal with that and neither should i#and the fact that scott somehow got villainized in some people's minds while the person who actually caused that trauma#is instead treated like ''yeah he was a bit misguided and made a mistake but he was probably anxious about it!! he's just a person!!''#that's never going to stop being painful. especially the idea that with the importance people put on labels#i would supposedly have more ''community solidarity'' with that asshole than a cis gay man like scott#idk i think i'm past the timeframe of that traumatic experience bc it's not consuming every day like it used to a few weeks back#but something triggered it tonight so i just need to process it. anyway shoutout to scott for being there for me i really needed it
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#shit chat#disordered eating cw#how to. politely ask my housemate to stop fucking telling me about her diet progress#she's trying to lose weight cause she's a musician & her band is traveling to this big thing at the end of the month#by doing really strict by-weight portion control and it does NOT seem healthy#she's trying to get back to her 'italy weight' and like. girl. u went to italy in high school 10 years ago & biked everywhere for a month#if you are at that same weight a decade later without exercise by simply making yourself eat less food there is a problem!#that is not aspirational that's horrifying!!! no u don't look hot in your gig outfit from 2013 you look disproportionately skinny!#so i gotta sit her down at some point and be like listen. ur an adult ur gonna do what you do#& i know ur industry puts insane pressure on women to look a certain way on stage.#but as someone with a history of disordered eating i will not cheer you on and support your 'progress'#and quite honestly it makes me uncomfortable to even talk about it and see your stupid little diet scale on the kitchen counter every day!!#i strongly associate weight loss with poor health for a number of reasons#and firmly believe that weight gain is cool and sexy and that everyone should be less afraid of being actually!!!#it was a struggle w/ dysmorphia for a while but putting on some chub is one of the best things i've been able to do for my body as an adult#i love my squishy tummy and hearing you obsess about having a perfectly flat (ie concave) abdomen daily is deeply saddening!!!#bleh. it's hard. i feel like i should gently intervene but also i do not want to get involved bc it's more than i can handle rn#*less afraid of being fat actually
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heyyyyyy <3 <3 i feel terrible.
i had planned to stay off longer but i genuinely have had like three nervous breakdowns since i left bc right as i decided it was abt time i just chill for a little bit everything started happening all at once. so i came back to see my silly little internet friends, but like the second i logged back on some ppl were talking smack abt me sooooooooo... ya know. my day (two weeks) be so fine,, then BOOM my entire schedule fills up and i become hollow on the inside! (hey sorry like vent post n tags i need to get things out of my brain)
#spikes rambles#i was happy there for a minute too :<#heres what its looking like rn....#i have three weddings. one of which i am a bridesmaid for and was left to get my own dress#but i cant afford a nice dress that matches. so i have to make one my damn self. and in two weeks.#i have a graduation.. and a graduation party both for different ppl#even tho i had to push back my own graduation by a full year bc things were just not going as planned. and now everyone thinks im a failure#im volunteering to teach at a kids summer camp like thingy. i was supposed to have a partner but i was told that she actually#wants nothing to do with me and was forced into this but i was under the impression that we would be teaching TOGETHER#and not her being an assistant. so now i have to call her and be like heyyyyy what the fuck is going on i need to know the lesson plan#im also volunteering for a church summer thing. if i could i wouldnt be doing this but my self made mother figure asked me personally#to help and i cant say no to this. we get to hang out and i get to paint like murals and shit and we've been doing this together for years#i have to spend the weekend with my bio mother to go to a celtic festival thing bc my younger brother wants to go.#i'm having some pretty severe best friend problems which i am honestly not well equipped enough to deal with and its eating me away inside#summer has officially started here so that means 24/7 headaches and sensory problems. straight up category 5 autism moments#i had to pick up the slack and become a paternal figure to my youngest brother. which is just sad that i have to at all#my dear beloved friend is trying very hard to make a young adult like hangout (???) thing in own town and really wants me to go#but i just dont wanna. i dont really care for social gatherings#hey guys btw all this has happened or was planned for next month in the two weeks i was gone#what the fuck.
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Obligatory 9am work rant
#manager is not here rn which is great but someone said he might come in at 11 which is bad#the assistant manager is usually the one who comes in later which would also be bad but not as bad#i saw that a new baker was hired at the same store the only other baker works at so thats good#at least she wont be alone when i leave#my ingredients?????? STILL not here?????????#i got molasses last week but i need rye flour!!!!!! what the heck!!!!! i cant make cokies!!!!!!!!#i can make cakes so ig its .... ok..... enough. ...... what the heck#had a lil note left on my table with things to do from the manager which is pretty normal#said do this. make cakes. do that. remember to greet every customer you can do it :)#lol bro. god#it really annoys me that they keep saying EVERY CUSTOMER bc im honestly trying to a few a day#better than nothing and better on my anxiety#and i think that's kinda??? obvious???? like if they really cared about 'helping me manage my anxiety' it makes sense to start slow#but every time its. each customer every customer every person. i say its hard they say uwu you can do it#hello???????#well. im gonna think and pray about it all day and probably quit tomorrow lol#let's hope no one comes in at 11 that would be bad 😭 can i have some peace#she was a baker girl
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over the past 3 days i have been playing Super Monkey Ball: Banana Mania as beat and doing all the SMB1 challenge modes. beat im so sorry for rapturing you to monkey heaven. video games are scary
edit of first image i made after ACCIDENTALLY RESTARTING MASTER MODE several painful hours in under the cut (eyestrain warning):
As you can see i did not take it well
#jet set radio#jsr beat#super monkey ball#super monkey ball: banana mania#beat jsr#im like. totally incapable of getting banana mania beat's proportions right; ''chibi'' stuff is hard for me LOL#also like hope you guys like the ugly fucked up crusty looking brush ive been using lately#cuz it is FUN to use esp for quick art that isnt necessarily needed to look Good#so you are going to be seeing a lot of it.#anyway i told myself i probably wouldn't play the smb2 stages cuz i have played most of them In smb2 story mode#(i never got to see most of the later smb1 stages bc of not being good enough at the game)#but today i did casual/beginner and normal/advanced so. well. chances are im gonna do the other smb2 stages too#though honestly? i don't like smb2's stages as much as smb1's#cuz a lot of them are like... really big and rely heavily on timing gimmicks with moving parts and sometimes buttons#just not my thing as much yknow?#also while i feel awesome about how well i did on my second smb1 master mode attempt im sad i didnt finish the first one tbh#on my second run i did stamina master in TWO TRIES WHAT THE FUCK#but... i kinda really was curious how many times i died to that stage on my first run ..........#also i dont remember the exact number bc i didnt save a screenshot but in case youre curious#i died nearly 1000 fucking times on expert mode LMAO#They Don't Lie. That Exam-C Really Is Difficult.#...also. yeah. i did play banana mania specifically just because beat's in it and im in a jsr hypfix. dont judge me
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