#holy banana balls
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Don't let them be teasing us! Dr. Bartley can be a cowboy so long as they come back to us.
#kai bartley#greys anatomy#amelia shepherd#amelia shepard#amelia x kai#kaimelia#kai x amelia#er fightmaster#holy banana balls#caterina scorsone
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HIIIIII! I LOVE YOU
Earthspark Soundwave, Megs, and anybot of your choosing with an insensitive s/o?
As in, they say some out of pocket shit at the best/worst times. 💙💙💙
EARTHSPARK x gn human reader
『 soundwave ,, megatron ,, skywarp ,, optimus ,, gender neutral human reader 』
-> bots w/ s/o who says stuff so out of pocket
— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack
— yHEHE SHEKSN LOVE YOU 🫶🫶 you said bots of my choice and i leaped to add skywarp 😩 shes so pretty in the new show ,, girlboss 👁💍 honestly i kinda did it as reader says shit out of pocket 💀💀 theres a lot of profanity and stuff in his so a headsup
soundwave ::
• soundwave couldn’t remember why exactly he was teaming up with a human but his cassettes like you ,, so he can look away for now
• the moment you say “mother shit balls” hes already flying over ready to cover frenzy’s head to block out what you just say
• but its too late as she’s already saying it during the next time she messes with megatron and optimus
• he shakes his head and sighs ,, grumbling to himself as he just ignores it
• the second time you say something its ravage who takes the courtesy of saying it to soundwave next time he calls him
• please stop talking omg 😭😭 soundwave is begging ,, its one thing to have his kids act like hooligans but now that theyre going around shouting “son of a bitchin bastard whore” 😭 he just cant handle it
megatron ::
• hes heard some things ,, working beside humans for some years ,, but that doesnt mean he’s not gonna predict what theyre gonna say the next minute
• so when you walk into ghost agency and immediately start shivering whilst saying “ its colder than a polar bears pussy in here” hes more than shocked
• he doesnt know what to say ,, hes shocked frozen and embarrassed
• now when you say something like that during battle ,, hes face palming and begging silently for you to be quiet bc omg soundwave is right here
• that doesnt stop soundwave from recording you saying “HOLY BANANA DICKS WHATS THAT” midbattle with megatron
• he uses it on optimus ,, and megs is ready to deflate right then and there
skywarp ::
• shes all for it ,, teach her all your crazy words and sayings 🙏🙏 she wants to use them on megatron the next time she sees him ,, or maybe even optimus
• mandroid aint having it ,, he gets all huffy and puffy and ends up threatening you ,, to which skywarp gets defensive and all that mess
• she finds it hilarious ,, how any time something unexpected happens your go to line is “MOTHER OF COCKS WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT” and its mainly targeted at smt mandroid made
• she ends up using your lines against his latest battle w/ megatron ,, and the man just stands there 🧍
• she’ll have to thank you later 🫶
optimus ::
• he’s not a fan of it ,, oml ,, 😭😭 hes on the verge of tears
• “ maybe you could replace some of the words with something else ?”
• hes just not used to cuss words in general ,, he doesnt say them he just turns the other way
• “ now now ,, lets use our nice words ,,” he’ll pick you up and scold you gently about your potty mouth ,, having made a technique where you replace the cuss words with things you like
• the type to say “ oh my flowers !” instead of oh my primus or oh my god 😭
#transformers x reader#x reader#x gender neutral reader#earthspark#transformers earthspark#tfe#tfe soundwave#tfe megatron#tfe skywarp#tfe optimus prime#megatron x reader#soundwave x reader#skywarp x reader#optimus prime x reader#🌎.earthspark#🌎.megatron#🌎.skywarp#🌎.optimus
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For the Love of Fic: January 2
I've been doing my best to get caught up on a verrrrrrry long reading list. I know I sound like a broken record, but I'm a super slow reader (both in having the time to read and actual reading speed), and many of my favorite writers are bananas prolific, so it's easy for me to fall behind. My lists for the immediate future will probably be in character groupings, since that helps me organize and sift.
Today you're getting these lovelies in some fic I've been loving!
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EZRA
Cross My Heart by @brandyllyn
This wins for my favorite of the week. How can it not, when it is from my Secret Santa???? Brandy softens our scoundrel but keeps his dangerous edge which I really love and appreciate. This could have been your regular Gift of the Magi fic, but it goes above and beyond. Not only do these lovers do what they can to give each other the world, they get to keep their spoils too. My heart would follow his anywhere. <3
untitled by @brandyllyn
So after reading Cross My Heart, I decided to catch up on the remaining Ezra fic of Brandy's I haven't read yet and I was not disappointed, not at all. If Ezra came to me for advice on how to touch a lady, I don't think I'd be able to hold myself together this well...
When They Disentwine by @brandyllyn
Holy BALLS this is hot like fire. A little misunderstanding leads to some really delicious punishment--read the warnings. Do I like a little danger in my Ez? Fk yeah I do. Soft and dangerous. This serves.
Hold Fast to Dreams by @brandyllyn
Here it is, friends. One of the most beautifully written, soft, wonderful Ezra stories full of books and hope and healing and it's rendered me nearly speechless. I don't know what else to say except DANG.
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MAX PHILLIPS
Bangathon: Position: Reverse Cowgirl by @prolix-yuy
Oh. My gods. I did not expect the soft. And yet. Here it is. And I am clawing for it. The moment he realizes he's actually into her kind of destroyed me. And I love that they're both in the same place...fkn hells. I swoon. This's the good stuff.
Negotiations by @prolix-yuy
Another treat from LJ with a softer, yearning Max. Yes, he's got more ego than he should have, but it gets a swift, satisfying kick in the ass when he comes up against you. And do you ever give him a run for his money. A lovely little twist and sweet surprise.
A Rough (Pumpkin) Patch by @blueeyesatnight
Can we all acknowledge how satisfying it is to witness Max get pouty when he doesn't get his way? And then twist things around to make his own fun? He may hate hay rides and pumpkin picking, but if you're the only two in the field, there may be more fun to be had....
I Wanna Do Bad Things With You by @chronically-ghosted
I too would be tempted to tell Max to feed from me while we did the do. But you know what I am? A soft girl with a weakness for a build up. So imagine my joy when I found out this was a series in progress...one bite/drink/base at a time! And there are feelings? What! This is all my monsterfkr dreams with Max come true.
Polynesian Kiss by @morallyinept
Listen. He's Max. He's your boss, and he's a vampire, and you're his PA. And blood donor. And bang buddy. And you just can't make it into work because your cramps are murder. Lucky you, you've just become a dispenser for Max's favorite treat, and he is here to FEAST. I love a man who loves his meal, and goodness does he ever enjoy you. TASTY.
Blood & Tinsel by @morallyinept
Read the warnings on this one, because Max has his influence on and you're not submitting to his office booty call of your own free will. But you would if he'd let you. He doesn't know that. Yet. I love how Jett writes his reaction to that little tidbit....she's got this power-hungry jackass down.
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EDDIE THE VAMPIRE
An Act of Kindness pt. 2 by @missredherring
Oh my gosh, Eddie's become a rescue pup! He has nowhere to go and nobody to look after him and he was so young when he turned...he's so confused. I just wanna comfort the boy. It's a good thing Bella's here to look after the little darling. (Guest appearance by one Jack Daniels with mentions of Max Phillips and a Liam easter egg.)
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WING PIT GUY
2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #3: Daniel (Wing Pit) - Distracting Kiss by @something-tofightfor
Rachael's Wing Pit Guy is named Daniel and there's just something about him that's comfortable and goofy and total boyfriend material. (And he can clean a chicken wing bone in one smooth go.) You know that kissing him is gonna taste like sauce, and since he really loves his wings, you know that sauce is gonna be good. And real. And sweet. Just like this fic.
2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #11: Daniel Harper (Wing Pit) - A Kiss After Pain by @something-tofightfor
It's finally time for a real first date, but before that, time to meet Daniel's dog. Raider is just a dog, doing dog things and doesn't mean to slip up. But istg if anyone here hurts Raider I will burn this site to the ground. There's a really sweet kiss in here and I am all for it. But I am having trouble deciding if I love Raider or Daniel more right now...
Smutsgiving 2023: Sweet Potato Casserole / Daniel Harper (Wing Pit Pedro) by @something-tofightfor
First of all, marshmallow fluff is genius. Second of all, I don't care how sticky it is. I hate sticky and I would still allow supreme level boyfriend coded Daniel to cover me in it.
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TIM ROCKFORD
Rockford & Roan Pt. 5 by @littlemisspascal
There's a number of reasons why I'm freaking out about this chapter. It's dark. There's a body. Tim is mystereously cold and Roan is being warned not to be taken advantage by his less than perfect tendancies. Doubt is strewn. Our Very Good Boy Banjo is a little doggie king. And then there's the special guest star, complete with cliffhanger...and I'm in LOVE.
Morning, His Place by @words-are-fireproof
A slice of life, an early morning in the kitchen with Tim before he has to leave for work. And yet, in just a short piece, there's so much detail and background given between the characters, just in the little things they say and do, the pictures on the wall, the things Tim forgets. Simple and lovely.
2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #5: Tim Rockford - Jealous Kiss by @something-tofightfor
Black Days Tim has a hold on me, and Rachael's given him a lot of groundedness and depth. He's not surprised by much, except when he surprises himself.
Smutsgiving 2023: Apple Pie / Tim Rockford by @something-tofightfor
Another Black Days Tim, and this one has him apologizing to his lady for not being home for Thanksgiving by utilizing his desk when she comes to visit him. Yes plz.
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DIETER BRAVO
Star Boy by @ezrasbirdie
I'm in love with the Star Boy and his Cool Girl so so much and this installment in the Starstruck Series was no exception. They have so much to navigate together and it can't be the easiest thing to date a movie star. But I'm willing to take the chance if he love love loved me this very much.
Misfire by @qveerthe0ry
If it's something I'm fascinated and enamored of, it's a boy that comes untouched. Dunno why that's a kink of mine, maybe I just find it endearing when someone loses control. This one has no romantic or sexual connection to it though, and it's Dieter actually being embarrassed. I am not above smiling while watching that man be flustered and suffer a little.
Bravo, Dieter. by @juletheghoul
If you haven't had a taste of Jules' writing (first of all, where have you been), then this is as good a place as any to start. Pretty writing, smooth Dieter, make up sex ahoy, and all the neck nibbles you can't keep your cool over....
Paint Me Like One of Your French Girls by @missredherring
While there's some verbal teasing, this is a working relationship, but a good one. I mean, I don't know if I'm in the right crotchspace to let Dieter paint my naked body and be cool about it, but if I was, I would hope it would be as endearing as this.
Dress Me Up and Call Me Pretty by @morallyinept
This is one of the hottest things I have ever read. Dieter is an absolute mess, his own worst enemy, and reader is an angel who gives him everything he needs--and discovers she likes it too. The LOVE. The kink. The marathon. The care. Just go. Go now and get your strap on.
Run Over By A Reindeer... by @blueeyesatnight
Blue has such a good grip on Dieter and I love his perfect balance of shithead horny actor and genuinely nice horny guy. I laughed out loud at this multiple times too, because Blue's also good at Dieter's dipshit humor. This is definitely one of my favorites this season.
Smutsgiving 2023: Stuffing / Dieter Bravo by @something-tofightfor
This is Dieter from Rachael's Locked Down series and I have a real soft spot for these two...and for this particular take on Dieter. He's someone who surprises you constantly, showing a disaster to the world while being actually put together underneath. Stuffing shows up in more ways than one here. As does mention of a raccoon....
2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #10: Dieter Bravo - A Kiss While Baking by @something-tofightfor
This one is sweet in every sense of the word. Brownies, kisses, heartfelt feelings, a peek at a possible future... I love Locked Down Dieter so much and it's nice to see him domestic and happy.
Touch Me Touch Me Touch Me by @missredherring
It's subby D time! This time with a free use kink and some audio erotica built in! At first I was a little sorry for our needy boy, but man, does he get it in the end....and how.
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#bloodsucking bastards fanfic#max phillips#snl fanfic#wing pit guy#prospect fanfic#ezra#the bubble fanfic#dieter bravo#buffy the vampire slayer fanfic#eddie the vampire
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Idk where the whole "Yona hate" is even coming from. Like we must have different social circles because every sidlink fan I've talked to (myself included) is either A. Disappointed or B. Poly shipping them all because why not which honestly? Both are valid. I've yet to see any hate. Critcism I've seen on her character, but not hate.
And definitely not shipping wars. Holy balls, guys, I was part of the Hetalia fandom in 2011/2012. THOSE were shipping wars. I started shippinng in like 2006 or so and man the fanfiction was absolutely bananas. Inuyasha fans literally feral then over Kagome vs Kikyo.
Like holy shit. This stuff is tame compared to what I've witnessed. Stop making mountains of molehills. Bring 'er down to like a four, antis, because you're at an eleven when you got no need to be.
#ramblings at 4:30 am#sidlink#im on the lavender marriage side i think thats perfect#i also like the poly side ngl#sidon has two hands and can hold his boyfriends in one and his fiances in the other#yona is an okay character like not the best but certainly not the worst#b or c tier character at best#she is lovely to you and i 100% think she would be supportive
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@spiderwebd regretevator
Regretevator (Game) is similar to The Normal Elevator from older days of roblox, being that you enter an elevator and it will arrive on a myriad of different floors to explore, minigames to complete, or just . Funny Thing
The Regretevator (the actual Elevator) is an interdimensional form of travel that is used by various entities to get around. It is confirmed to be able to go Anywhere. and seems to be able to transcend time and space which is always fun
The game features 70+ floors currently, and has a certain style of humor to it, but what really makes it are the NPCs, interactable characters, some of which can enter the elevator and some of which cannot. Im going to recap the ones who will enter very quickly, so sorry for the imagespam here:
Mannequin_Mark
A mannequin(which is a species produced by a factory) named mark. Woodcarver as a job, has a coworker named Jim. Hates concrete. Southern accent. Divorced from Wallter.
Wallter
Used to be a human, drank cement, is now concrete. Generally nice dude. Thinks concrete is better than wood. Tall as fuck. Divorced from Mark.
PartyNoob
Often shortened to Poob. Loves parties if you couldn't tell. Can kill you if you slap them like 10 times. You can slap them. theres something so so so so fucking wrong with them holy fucking shit oh my god. oh my god oh my g Keep this asshole in Mind. Keep them in mind ple;as
Pest
Actual name is PartyGuest. Builds robots. Steals money from you. Speaks Japanese. Yes they are a bug beetle to be specific. Asshole
Lampert
Found in the 3008 level yes theres a 3008 level yes i love it. Germophobic, clean everything. Zoomies he is zoomies. Despises Infected, but knew him as Kasper
Infected
Diseased when he bought a freemodel with a virus in it. Perpetually trapped as a scene kid. Had a cat. No longer has a cat. Used to be named Kasper, infection made him forget
Unpleasant
It;s the fucking unpleasent gradient meme. does jackshit. some people headcanon that it ate infecteds cat and i think thats the funniest shit
Split
Species called a fruitaur or something, banana-snail-horse-dog-girl. Hosts a wipeout-like show named Splitsville. Lesbian. canonically has feelings for bive
Bive
Completely made of hair. Conspiracy theorist. this is just touch tone telephone. canonically has feelings for Split. may seem crazy but she Knows things
Reddy
It;s freddy from fnaf but for Red Ball Diner, go look up gregoriah regretevator and tell me how gender he looks
DrRETRO
Animal Jam emote. framed for many crimes. Also knows things. Shoots lasers out of her eyes that will either kill you or heal you. meows
Gnarpy
that fucking cat everyones nuts about. Alien. Abducted Spud! and did shit to them. proud xe/they swag. was redesigned cause the creator was an ass :/
Spud!
yes the exclamation point is part of the name. was a camp councilor, got abducted by gnarpy and experimented on, is this now. that line is his mouth btw. if you click it 200 times it will explode. please be nice to them :(
Pilby
Clown fired from job after to bad of stage fright. They are just a sad thing tbh
Prototype
lovely little robot, if a bit glitchy and unfinished. VERY nicey ! a researcher, learns info on everythings for their database! my friend made this one :3!
FleshCousin
(invasive)Species of shapeshifters. Repeats words back at you in jumbled wordsalad. they dont seem malicious i dont think . my favorite. ever. the best
Jermbo
a cat
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There's more NPCs but i just covered the basic ones(new one being added soon made by my friend as well :3333333333)
BASICISH LORE SHIT:
this is MR
it is an effigy for a spirit and when it enters the elevator it has a chance to cut the lights and burn any NPC in the elevator. EXCEPT FOR FUCKING POOB. the spirit that inhabits MR is also the same one that protects poob. and if you look close at the game youll see POOB SI FUCKING EVERYWHEREi have to stop here before i go fucking insane but the basic premise is these two are tied and i dont know why or what how whatthe fuckkkk theres a whole lot more like theres a damn religion surrounding it and symbolism of the axolotl sun which means something but fuck FUCK!!!!
#regretevator#ye shure if you have any other questions Please ask i need to tell you i have to go nuts forever this is so incomprehensible oh my go
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Random thoughts during The Star Wars Holiday Special:
*Oh shit! They’re interrupting the Incredible Hulk for this!
*What’s immediately lovely about this is the fact that it wasn’t digitally remastered… It’s in the same awful formatting that it was presented in originally in the 1970s…because Lucas tried to bury it and failed. It’s still available on YouTube.
*Chewbacca has a family… a wife (named Malla), a son (named Lumpy) and a father (named Itchy). They have green shag carpet in their tree house on Kashyyyk. They’re not at all as well put together as Chewbacca. The father looks like he was done up on a very tight budget. Though Malla looks like she uses a great Wookiee conditioner. There are no subtitles, so I have no idea WTF is going on.
*There’s a weird dance/ acrobatics/ juggling sequence on a holo-table. It’s got Lumpy all hella excited, but then he whines annoyingly when it’s over… Like, very, VERY annoyingly.
*Luke is wearing those fierce black boots that he wears in The Return of the Jedi. Fierce.
*The Wookiees are placing desperate calls on a machine that is making Galaga noises. Hopefully, they’re not using the fulcrum sub-space frequency?
*There is an imperial officer with a pornstache in this shop run by Art Carney… and he hands him a cube with… beta fish in it? Because Wookiees like them? Also, Carney’s puns… awful… absolutely awful.
*Is this… A drag queen cooking show? Making a bantha roast? In 1978? How many arms does she have? OMG! This is bananas!
*Then, it violently shifts into an epic space battle between the Millennium Falcon and an Imperial convoy…on Life Day. Fascists just don’t break.
*Art Carney just straight up drugs Chewbacca’s dad…. Like he goes on a kaleidoscopic acid trip that kind of turns into wet dream with some ASMR/ musical number with Diahann Carole. This is so WTF? Seriously. I’m not high enough for this.
*Holy shit! Carrie Fisher is drunk AF!! It’s like she read the script and was like “F*^% it”… and just went with it. She’s literally stumbling. On god.
*What in the hell is a Wookiee-ookie?
*The Fascists have come crashing into the Wookiee crib to ruin Christmas.
*Wait, wait, wait…. It’s Jefferson Starship in a box?! And, the fascist officer loves it! I’m not even sure I’ve ever heard this song before. What? Is? This??
*Lemme stop right now and say this is NOT something one should watch sober. Not at all…
*Now there’s a cartoon. Luke is flying around in a Y-wing… which is weird. Chewbacca runs the Millennium Falcon into an ocean of strawberry jam. There’s a Loch Ness monster being ridden by Boba Fett? Why are C-3PO’s eyes blinking?
*Oh! This is the Boba Fett Cartoon.
*Wait, wait… wait, “Star-log update:” WTF!!!? This is STAR WARS, not STAR TREK! I’m so confused.
*Luke and Han Solo are hanging up-side down for some reason. Boba Fett is working with Vader. No surprise. Okay. Turns out, Chewbacca knew… apparently Boba Fett smells bad. “Star-log 3241”… this is Star Wars, right? …um, right!?!
*Back to the fascists destroying the Wookiee house. They tore the head off the bantha plushie. Sorry bastards!
*I’m trying to figure out this Harvey Korman bit. Is he an android? Or… is this supposed to be funny? What am I supposed to be feeling while watching this?
*Ha ha ha!!! They’re shitting on Tatooine! They’re calling it a shit hole where no one wants to live! I told you! I’ve told you all this before!
*They do have some hella jiving Bith Bands on Tatooine though. Say what you will about the thuggery and villainy and downright scumbaggery, but those bands jam, man.
*Bea Arthur is running a cantina on Tatooine. And, apparently, she’s, uh, fallen victim to a simp? He drinks from a volcanic hole on the top of his head. I’m too sober for this.
*Does Bea Arthur have a Pantoran bouncer!?! OMG!
*Oh no. It’s a Bea Arthur musical number. She’s singing. I repeat, she’s singing. She’s giving everyone in the bar a round on the house. Oh. No. And, Holy balls! There’s a giant chinchilla in the corner of this cantina! Jesus Christ!
*Chewy and Han made it home. There’s a weird affectionate sequence. Now they’re getting these clear balls with lights in them. What’s happening?
*Now they’re all in red robes walking across the Galaxy into a Star or some shit… or maybe they’re in a Wookiee church? I genuinely have no clue what’s going on.
*R2 and C-3PO show up out of nowhere… no wait, Luke, Leia and Han are there at the Wookiee church!
*Leia is giving a drunken speech about fighting fascism and darkness this holiday season! Hell yeah! Every holiday season! F*^% fascists! F*^% the Empire!
*Um. Another musical number… I didn’t know Carrie Fisher sang, but here we are. There she is drunkenly hugging Chewbacca.
*Chewy is reliving “A New Hope” in his mind to the music that they play at the ending where they basically screwed him out of his medal.
*Now they’re eating a meal, and saying a Wookiee prayer? Who TF do the Wookiees pray to!? Why must all galaxies be tainted with evangelical religions? How did their tentacles reach so goddamned far!? Dammit, man. This is why no one in the galaxy far, far away can be gay! It’s taboo there too!
*Okay. Holy shit. It’s over. I’ve never watched it all the way through, but it’s bad. Bad, bad, like uncomfortable, watching a slow moving train wreck bad, like a venereal disease on Lucas’s legacy bad because it will never go away.
*But yeah, if you haven’t seen it… go… watch it. You cannot call yourself a true Star Wars fan until you have.
#star wars#star wars holiday special#luke skywalker#leia organa#han solo#chewbacca#chewy has a family#boba fett#tatooine#kashyyyk
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https://www.tumblr.com/footemoji/734900318076272640/marriage-counselor-anon-just-sent-me-a-screenshot
Hi yes this is true! I have not been able to do all of the songs cause the playlist is over 3 hours and I do not have time to that unfortunately! So here is my overview (And study) of each song in the playlist (If you haven't already, go give it a listen!!) Also shout out to Lemonade anon for keeping track of footemoji lore events you made this easier
Brutus - Black cat anon death with + the birth of black dog anon (as well as tuxedo cat)
Just a girl - ferocioustrout (??)
Squaring up - Pinklemonslices and Swaggyclown situation
I feel fine, Pt 2 - Hunger games
Girl Anachronism - Lobotomy anon
I threw glass at my friend's eye and now I'm on probation - The start of Turshark shopping
Crybaby - Ferotomy
Groan - Total drama simulator
Brand new city - First Fertomy divorce
Blah blah blah - Ferocious trout and Ski jacket anon beef
You're standing on my neck - hepatitis anon born
Runs in the family - Fertomy fanchild
Drunk Walk home - Lobotomy anon 7th Lobotomy
Sorority girls - limeade anon
Banana don't jiggle jiggle - Lobotomy anon's poor brain
Buddy Holly - Whatever that outfit that Ferocioustrout wore
DANCE! Till we die - Total Roblox meetup
GMFU instrumental - Sheep anon and their cody hate song (love the song btw)
ON THE FLOOR - No.
Angry Alex - Marriage counselor anon (Me!!)
LET ME SEE YA MOVE! - Swaggyclown
Never be alone - Hunger games (again)
DOUBLE TROUBLE (sped up) - Warrior cats footemoji au
SEXXXED UP - No. (Pt. 2)
FASHION - Anon design drop!!
IT GIRL - Ferotomy (The not toxic yuri parts)
Boys wanna be her - No. (Pt. 3)
Hey homies! - Really emotional moment that occurred yesterday
Sweater weather - internet69420
Mama's boy - Lemonade anon
My alcoholic friends - Footemoji to all of us
Labyrinth - Footemoji trying to get back to a total drama blog
Digital Silence - Discord sever
Fight with the Melody - Hunger games + total drama simulator (Again)
Take your shirt off - No. (Pt. I lost count)
XOXO (Kisses hugs) - Candy anon, Ferocioustrout and lobotomy anon couple!!
The family jewel - Candy anon, Ferocioustrout and lobotomy anon family (+ Marriage counselor anon/me)
Taking what's not yours - Pre polycule Lobotomy anon and Candy anon semi beef
That's all for now!
Marriage counselor anon (Turned theorist for now)
holy shit what the balls😨 this is crazy
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We walk in grab seats and a table and make our way to the buffet. I grab one plate while you grab two. We get back to the table and you have mounds of assorted sides, meals, and the second plate is entirely dessert. You devour both plates within minutes and you are already beginning to feel how bloated you are but you don’t want to stop. You are such a fat pig and you know you don’t want to stop. You slowly get up and start waddling back to the buffet craving more calories to add to that fat ass and big belly. You come back with 2 more plates and a huge banana split with 4 scoops of ice cream, fresh hot chocolate syrup, a few cherries, and loads of whipped cream! I mention to you if you were going to finish all of that and you replied a pig always eats what’s on front of them. Minutes pass again and you can now see your gut is so distended your arms barely reach the table. Your gluttony has lead you to become this swollen ball of fat and lard reaching for a banana split that is only going to make you more taut and full. I pull my chair up to you and begin feeding you bite after bite as you slowly drift off into a food coma only feeling your belly expand more and more.
-🌀
cow* holy shit that’s super hot <333
i wish buffets actually had good ice cream hehe <3
i also really really really enjoy being hand fed. so caring and full of love. but also so controlling and pure lust <3
i need to make a goal to go to a buffet high as hell and just devour EVERYTHING.
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red white & royal blue (2023) live reaction
CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS?
PRINCE OF ENGLAND'S HEARTS
THE AMERICAN PRINCE HENRY KDLFJSKGJDK
immediately grabbing a glass of champagne lmao
WHEN THE REVOLUTION HAPPENS lmao Henry my LOVE
alex is literally the dumbest idiot in the planet lmfao
oh he's DRUNK drunk oh my fucking god
alexander
I KNEW HENRY WAS GOING TO CORRECT ALEX ON THE composer
IN YOUR CASE ITS RATHER INEVITABLE I'm losing my whole ass mind dksjfkdjf
THEYRE SO STUPIDKSKFJSLFJSLGJDLGKDLGKDLGKDLGIDLFK
NOKSLFJDLFJDLFJDLFK
oh that was SO FUCKIN GOODKFKDJFKDJFKDJF
MAYBE HE CAN HOST THE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER NEXT YEAR - oh I'd be DOWN
not sunshine of my heart
ALEX'S SELF DEFENSE PILLOW
AND I ONCE SAW MITCH MCCONNELL EATING A BANANA
WHAT IF I SET MYSELF ON FIRE SJFKDJFLDJGKDJG
no one in their right mind would give you a gun
AMY'S DOG IM DUIGNKFJGLFJGKFJG
oh my fucking god
they're so fucking FUNNY
our first clip now here we are
alex is such an asshole I'm dying
god that is a PERFECT casting
"white, blonde and british" is a god tier of a line idc
THE FREESTYLE RAPS
VICKY SKFJSLGJDLGJDLGKFLF
IT MEANS YOU GOT GOOD TASTE ALEX
did alex just look at henry's lips WHORE
such a vast mental and emotional space in your head
awwww ALEX BABY
OH HE'S POUTING
NOT A SRRAWBERRY ALEXANDER KDFKDKGJDLGK
THEN KILL ME AND I WON'T HAVE TO GO
LATER SHAAN
WORKING CLASS CHIP OFF YOUR SHOULDER
oh?
NOT THE STICKERJSKFJDLGKDLGKFLGI
BUT WE WERE EVER SO CSREFUL DEAR
KMSMDJSKFJDLFKD
THAT'S SO FUCKING GOOD
holy fucking SHIT
THAT IS SO GOOD
NOPE YOU ARE JUST AS GHASTLY AS I IMAGINED
NOPE I'M HANGING UP ON YOU
oh my fucking god that was SO GOOD
can you just YEAH just make yourself at home kid
THEY WOULDN'T IF THEY KNEW HIM! L8R
fuck me nora is so hot lmao
OH THEYRE HANGING OUT
YO QUISIERA ENAMORARME PERO NO PUEDO
I cannot BELIEVE THE CINEMATIC ASS SCENE WAS SET TO GET LOW
oh that was supposed to be nora wtf that's why it was so poignant
OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK
in terms of coping I'm not coping
i
FUCK YOU JEFFREY
A DRINKING GAME SJFKSKFKDFJOD
FIRST 50 ROWS OF A GAGA CONCERT GAY
THE HAIR GRAB? THSTS SO SKFLDKFLD
DO NOT INTERRUPT ME
fuck nora is the love of MY LIFE
ew fuck off
oh my GOD he needs to shut up
okay I'm gonna die
AMYJDLGJDKFJFKGJFLG
NOT THE DICK JOKESJSKFJSKFKF
AGAINST A WALL
WHAT THE FJCKXKLSJFLSKF
WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE SO HOT
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I'M BISEXUAL
ARE THEY KNOWN FOR THEIR HOMOSEXUAL TENDENCIES
OH THEYRE SO SEXUWJAJGJDKG
AND SO AWKWARD ABOUT IT
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY POLO
they're so fucking HOT
god those eyelashes are fuckin exquisite
oh okay that was obscene
there's TWO things I've been dying to ask you
it's my life - doesn't mean you have to accept it lol
henry what the FUCK
ALEXANDER WHAT
HENRY?
IM DOWNDJFDLFJLD
DEAR
TUDTNME YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS
oh I can't breathe
oh okay I see it
oh shit okayb
oh that's so
HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT WHILE BALLS DEEP INSIDE HENRY
my god
I'm having lots of feelings
alex my fucking god
also henry is so quick to just cut right down to the chase I can't
IM LEARNING
ellen I will kill you
GET HER ALEX
GET HER ASS ALEEEEEEEXXXXXXXX
THE EMAILS
DON'T THEY HAVE NAPKINS IN TEXAS
the cgi is so bad lajdkdjfkfjfkfjfkfkf
love the romcom vibes
BUENAS NOCHES CABRON
EVER BEEN ON GRINDR - ONCE UNSUCCESSFULLY
oh my god they're fucking precious as hell
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUXKFJDKFJDKGJ
INKNEWNITKDLGJDKGJDLGJG
HENRUML
HENRY MO
GOOD MORNING
OH AND I TOLD MY SISTER
TECHNICALLY IM THE SPARE
THAT NO WAS IMMEDIATE
HENRY'S FACE
ellen's face of realization sjfldjfldjflf
oh that's
OG MY GOD
OGKDLGK NOT TRUVADA
I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY GIVE YOU THE NUCLEAR CODES
OG THEYRE SO FUCKING CUTEN
HENRÑWAS READING OLS
NOOOODJFKDJGKFJGKGJGKGK
alexander what's with that face are you in love or what
oh oscar no
y'all ARE a stupid idea
SHOWER TIME
I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT
oh my god alex
ALEXANDER NO
oh my god
HENRY'S FACE
AND IT FEELS SO RIGHT
I'm gonna fucking kill myself
I'm gonna rip my tits off
beatrice love of my LIFE
HENRY'S FACE
oh he's going OFF
alex my love
oh I'm gonna kill myself
NORA YOU GIANT GENIUS
no
lmao I'm sobbing lmao
I'm genuinely sobbing
PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME
god I'm shaking I'm sobbing so hard
I had to pause bc i got a headache from sobbing
HE DOES HAVE ONE KEY
I'm going to cry more lol
I'm going to dehydrate
yeah I'm going to fucking dehydrate
THE CHAIN IM KILLING MYSELF
I LOVE YOU I'LL BE AS PATIENT AS YOU NEED
go win and election
yeah I'm dehydrating lmao
god what is this marley and me I can't stop crying
DAVID
NO?
ALREADY?
ALREADY?????
ALREADYDJDJSJFKDJFLD
IT'S BEEN LIKE A MINUTE I CSNTB
oh my god I'm killing that fucking piece of shit
oh my god his address
ALEX AKFLDKFKDKFLFKF
ZAHRA
LIKE A COW IN LABOR
TOUCH ME AND DIE
HEY BABY
I'LL BEEAK THE SOUND BARRIER FOR YOU
I'm going to fucking kill myself
fuck me henry is so beautiful and so brave
they're fucking gorgeous and so married and so amazing
SPEAKING OF BOYFRIENDS ON STRINGS
OG godb
please do fly to the Maldives
this was such a miscast bc i can never look at stephen fry and not be absolutely smitten
OH HE HATES PHILIP SO MUCH LMAO
oh fuck you stephen fry
OH MY GOD ALEX
HOMOSEXUAL
THSKFJSKFJDLFKD
HENRY BABY
OSCAR
oh my fucking god they're so married
oh I'm gonkacry
THEIRJNSDS
OGNKTLDLS NO THE BIKES
DARLING
DO YOU THINK ANYONE NO5ICEDJDLGJDLGJDLGKDI
oh my god
my god I'm in tears
fuck
fuck
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Nothing like a like religion on Christmas Eve.
#life of brian#always look on the bright side of life#hes not the messiah hes a very naughty boy#holy banana balls
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[Book 4 of 4]
Story: 5 out of 5
Smut: 4 out of 5
I really thought this book was going to be my least liked, but oh my god did it prove me wrong!
It's a bit slow in the beginning, picked up a little after 300 pages, and made me fall absolutely in love. Not only did Stella become my favorite girl of the series, but Christian is warring with Rhys for that number one spot too.
This book has the perfect balance of mystery, romance, and angst. It kept me guessing up until the last few chapters and even solved the mystery of that ugly painting from book one lol.
Now enjoy my ramblings..
* Oohhhh. I love a good mystery. Who’s the stalker?
* Christian fucking with Dante and his fiancée is funny. He really is a possessive asshole.
* Christian shutting up Raya and Adam made me so happy. Take that middle school bs outta here.
* Brady suggesting Stella date someone for her blog.. I’m just imagining Christian’s reaction 😂 This won’t end well.
* It didn’t take Christian long to swoop in, huh? Lol.
* “I don’t believe in love.” — Famous last words, Christian.
* Oohhh. Pretty dress you got her, Harper.
* And social media knows Stella is “dating”. Let the shitshow begin.
* What is up with this turquoise ring?
* How fucked up would it be if Christian was Stella’s stalker? 😂
* Well at least she told her friends the truth.
* Lol at Rhys and Alex grilling Christian about Stella. I didn’t even know Alex and Christian knew each other.
* Goddamn. The stalker got close enough to slip a note in her purse?
* Awww. Christian helped her out of her panic attack 🥰
* Okay so I hate Stella’s family.
* Fuck the unicorn. I wanna cuddle Mr. Harper!
* Okay. The tension is THICK between these two at the art exhibit. Holy shit.
* Fuck. The stalker got into her apartment 😨
* Aww. Christian is so fucked. She’s sleeping in his bed 😂
* Damn. Christian is cold the morning after. Take that stick out of your ass, dude.
* Almost kiss.. oh my god! Just bang it out already!!
* Holy shit.. Stella’s fantasy 👀
* Awwww. Look at Christian and his heart of good saving the photoshoot 🥰
* He blew up a car 😂
* Christian keeps blue-balling himself. I don’t know whether to be proud of him or annoyed.
* Lol at the boys all teasing Christian over catching feelings 🤣
* Wait, wait, wait.. do Christian and Stella have a past that she doesn’t remember?! I’m so lost lmao.
* That family dinner was fucked from the beginning lmao. I’m so happy Stella stood up to her family. I had just hoped Christian would tell the sister shit for stirring the pot.
* Damn. Who is hacking into Christian’s systems? He’s gonna murder someone 😂
* ..and we have our first finger banging encounter. It only took 300+ pages 🤦🏻♀️
* STELLA!! — “I didn’t want soft kisses and gentle caresses. I wanted skin and blood. I wanted nails scratching down his back and bruises on my hips.” — Yes ma’am. Get it!
* Oh Stella. You’re my new favorite girl lmao.
* Way to go, Christian. Way to bring me down after that excellent scene. Just what lies are you telling, mister?
* Holy shit! He shot him 😂
* Fuck. This stalker is getting bold. Sending Christian threats? Wrong move, my dude.
* Awww. Christian’s in love with Stella 🥰 Now fess up, buddy! What secrets are you hiding?
* She told him she loved him and he implied it back 😩
* So that’s the story of the ring..
* “If she brought me to life with three words- I love you- she slayed me with an equal number. Don’t touch me.” — and my heart is broken. Ugh.
* HE FUCKING SAID THE WORDS 😭😭😭 I hate this book 💔
* Lol I love the guys teasing the fuck out of Christian.
* “You’ll always be my first, last, and only love.”
* WHO FUCKING KIDNAPPED HER?!
* So the traitor is Kage. What a dick. Now go find your girl, Christian. And figure out who the stalker is!
* Julian’s the stalker?! Wtf.
* He found her 😭
* So THAT’S the story behind that awful painting that keeps being brought up.
* Christian eats pussy like a champ 😂
* Wtf happened with the banana float 🤣
* He proposed! Oh my god, he proposed!
* They’re all sappy, married/engaged men and I love it.
* And now Stella is pregnant 😭
* They had a daughter! Oh how I wish I could have seen Rhys teasing the fuck out of him. Perfect fucking ending.
* I miss this group already.
#twisted series#twisted lies#ana huang#stella alonso#christian harper#booktok#book review#bookworm#booklr
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Cookies'n Cream - Chapter 27
Last chapter / MasterList / art by @aneenasevla
Chapter 27 - Queens and Clowns
Note: This chapter contains scenes only suitable for 18+ audiences (A.K.A. smut). You’ve been warned
.
Now that he and Tomori were together and knew each other a lot better, Okubo wondered how he hadn't noticed the signs before.
They've always been there, right under his nose. She had warned him about them herself, and he had chosen to ignore it long enough to be vulnerable. And now, he was in that situation, trapped between a rock and a hard place because of a promise.
All because she, in addition to being cute and sweet, was calculating, slightly manipulative and fully aware of the effects she had on him. If he had noticed these signs sooner, he would have set boundaries from the start. But now it was too late, and he was...
"... Wrapped around her little finger."
"Being held by the balls."
“Lassoed and ridden like the bald bull you are."
"You're good at thinking of synonyms, but not at helping me think of a way out, aren't you, you bastards?!," Okubo grunts, taking an angry bite of his pizza slice while watching Rihito, Himuro and Kaneda being complete assholes to each other during the most violent Mario Kart competition he had ever watched in his entire life. "I'm serious , that girl put me behind the eight ball!"
"Sorry to say that, Okubo, but you're the one who got yourself into this," Kaneda comments, ignoring the curse Rihito shouted in his ear when he throw him off the track with a red shell. "You shouldn’t have agreed to go out with her when you had a bruise too obvious to go unnoticed."
"Or you should've lied and said that it was one of us who did that to you during a sparring session- Rihito, you son of a bitch!," Himuro yells when Rihito throws a banana peel in front of him on the track and makes him spin. Rihito laughs out loud.
"Suck on that banana, you man-whore! And yeah, man, you should've said that. It was a lie, but it was for the greater good, right?"
"I thought about doing that, but I couldn't!," He gestures frustrated. "I don't know what's with her eyes, but I'm totally incapable of lying when I look into them! It's a mix between Puss in Boots from Shrek and a human version of Hello Kitty with the softest, most good smelling boobs in the world! It was a lost battle from the start..."
"You couldn't even put your foot down? Like, saying you won't take her to see a Kengan match and that's it, no more whining?," Himuro asks, grinding his teeth while trying to pass by Rihito without being hit by the green shells that surrounded him. Okubo shakes his head, shoving the rest of the pizza into his mouth at once.
“I wanted to do that, but I just couldn't. She was naked at the time, just out of the shower, all wet and smelling good," He can't hold back, smiling when he remembers, still chewing. "With her asking like that, there's no grown man who can resist."
"Holy shit, dude… now I understand why you took so long to fuck her."
"What do you mean?"
"You knew that your brain cells were all stored in your balls and that she would empty them without thinking twice."
"Fuck you, Rihito!"
"Too late, I'm doing just fine! Yes!," Rihito raises the joy-con in the air in celebration as he manages to pass Kaneda on the last corner and cross the finish line first. Kaneda moans, throwing his head back, while Himuro throws a small tantrum and throws the other joy-con onto a cushion. Good thing, because Okubo would beat his ass if he broke even one piece of his Nintendo Switch. "Gentlemen, I'm fuckin' unbeatable!"
"No way, this is just the first championship you've won tonight," Himuro snorts with a frown. "You were ahead of Kaneda by a measly four points."
"Which I intend to keep in the future. Now, go eat a pizza slice with Egghead, I have a lil' fucker to beat," Rihito dismisses him with hand gestures, to which Himuro gives him the middle finger before leaving the joy-con aside and walking away, sulking.
"Asshole... get his ass for me, Kaneda."
"Haha, I'll do my best. Anyway, Okubo...," Kaneda turned to Okubo while Rihito adjusted the game's settings. "Now that you promised her, there's no going back. Breaking the promise could be worse for you."
"I know…," Okubo scratches the back of his head, tired. "I wouldn't do that to her anyway. She's been honest with me, the least I can do is reciprocate."
"Yeah, but at what cost?," Himuro says while grabbing a pizza slice inside the box on the kitchen counter. "We already talked about the risks, remember?"
"I do...
"And you're still going to go ahead with that idea?"
"It's not because I want to, Himuro," He retorts angrily. "Don't you guys understand? She didn't give me a choice. It almost looks like an ultimatum," He sighs. "If I keep more things from her, she'll think I'm not being honest enough and conclude that it's not worth investing in our relationship. It's that thing about giving too much and getting too little in return... and I want to give as much as I get."
"Holy shit, that came out so wrong, hahaha!"
"Shut up, Rihito, I'm serious!"
"Okay, okay, you want to be serious, right? So let's be serious," Rihito forces himself to stop laughing, looking seriously at him while Kaneda chooses a cup. "You don't want her to know about the Kengan Association because it might be risky for her or is there more to it?"
Okubo immediately gets uncomfortable. "What are you talking about?"
"I don't know, you're focusing too much on something that can be easily solved," Rihito shrugs. "If your concern is with her safety, that's fine. She'll have you and us, if you're the one fighting, to protect her."
"Wow... would y'all really do that?"
"Of course. We like her too," Kaneda guarantees with a nod. "Not just because she's your girlfriend who isn't quite your girlfriend."
"Yeah. She's just a nice girl," Himuro shrugs.
"Yep! She's crazy and a little sarcastic and judgemental, but still cute," Rihito agrees. Okubo sniffs a little.
“Gee, guys… you really-”
"Not to mention that if I play bodyguard, she'll owe me one! Then I can ask for her friend's number as a payment without feeling guilty about it."
"Holy shit, you're the most self-serving jerks I've ever met in my entire fucking life," Okubo runs a hand over his face, grunting. "Okay, I'm glad you guys want to do this for her too. But continue your reasoning, Rihito."
"Alright," Rihito and Kaneda turned their attention to the match again, but the former kept talking. "If that was your only concern, you'd already know that it is very easy to solve. But there's more to it, right? Because when you mix Miss Uta and you, there's always something more. I've got your number..."
"Unf. Aren't you an observant motherfucker..."
"You're just that obvious, bro."
"Indeed," Kaneda and Himuro nod together, and Okubo glares at them indignantly.
"And you still agree with him! Ugh... okay, it's not just that," He finally admits. "It also has to do with moral issues."
"Moral issues?"
"Yeah, like... you're aware of how she's an avid martial arts fan, right? She's always watching the fights in the major leagues, even the lesser known ones," He takes another pizza slice from the box, eating it with a frown. "Only all those leagues are public, safe and full of rules. I don't know what she'd think of an underground league, let alone one like the one the Kengan Association maintains..."
"Look, I think she already guessed that you're involved with underground fighting, considering how you kept hammering this 'backstage league' thing," Himuro forms quotation marks with his fingers, to which Okubo shakes his head.
“But she doesn't know the full extent of the whole thing. It's something much more serious than a bunch of alley jesters getting together to beat each other to a pulp without much safety involved," He finishes chewing and swallowing, burping afterwards and continuing, "Rock bottom always has a basement. And I... I don't know, I'm worried that she might think this is wrong."
"But that's the thing, man… from a legal point of view, it's wrong ," Himuro arches an eyebrow, to which he snorts.
"Wrong to the point that she thinks our relationship isn't worth the effort! That she doesn't want anything to do with a guy who gets involved with that stuff. And the whole thing is very violent, much more than what she's used to seeing on television..."
"Oh... you're thinking she's one of those purist fans then... Damn it!," Rihito curses when a blue shell hits him, allowing Kaneda to pass him. "There'll be payback, mark my words!"
"I'm going to leave my change purse ready, haha ," Kaneda jokes.
“Either that or she became more adept at the concepts of right and wrong after she got over her delinquent phase,” Okubo muses, and Himuro frowns at him.
"Delinquent phase? What, just because of that tattoo?"
"No, she was absolutely deranged during her teens, according to herself. She almost got expelled from school once," He says, eyes wide; the fact still amazed him a little. Rihito lets out a mocking laugh.
"Give me a break! The tattoo thing I can believe in, but this?"
"If you're doubting it, ask her the next time you see each other. Anyway...," Okubo shakes his head. "She doesn't deny her past, but today she tries to distance herself from it. And if she concludes that I'm not following the same path, that the Kengan Association goes against the kind of life she's been trying to maintain... ugh, I don't know," He scratches his whole face with his hands, eyes squeezed shut. "I just don't want her to give up on us because of this!"
"Does that make you rethink your participation in the Kengan matches as a whole?," Kaneda asks, and Okubo needs to think a bit before answering.
"No… I mean, I'm just like you guys, I enjoy fighting without all the rules of the public leagues. Ultimate Fight has hardly offered me more challenges, I'm already at a much higher level-"
"If your ego inflates more, it'll replace your car's airbags."
"And the Kengan Association provides me with that," He continues, ignoring Rihito's comment. "I don't care about the businessmen's shenanigans, as long as I can fight strong guys. It's the same with you. I'm just worried that she won't accept it..."
There is a brief moment of silence while Himuro thinks and Kaneda and Rihito slaughter each other on screen. Himuro then asks the question he honestly didn't want any of them to ask.
"If she doesn't accept it, will you consider this a thing that's doomed to fail? If neither you nor she are willing to compromise..."
Okubo sighs heavily.
"I don't know, man. I don't want it at all. But if things get to that point..."
"If it gets to that point and you see that you are at an impasse, it means that she's not the right girl for you. It's that simple," Kaneda says. "And there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes people just don't work together and it's no one's fault but circumstances'."
"I know. But it's been a while since I wanted something to work so much in my life," Okubo admits, a little embarrassed, but unable to contain himself. "You can say I sound like a sappy fagot and shit, but I don't think I'll find anyone like her anytime soon. And I don't want to. I just didn't want to have to give up one thing to have the other. It's so fucking unfair"!
"Maybe you don't have to!," Rihito says, leaning to the side when making a sharp turn. "If she really was that deranged like you're saying, maybe she won't think it's that wrong. Who knows, maybe she even likes it," He suddenly gives a mischievous laugh. "Maybe she'll get all excited with your performance in a match and wants to try some moves with you on the mattress, hehehe..."
"Rihito, what are you saying..."
“No, Iron Fingers might be right. This is an outright muscle eater we're talking about," Himuro says to Kaneda. "Like, I don't think she would like to see Okubo killing someone in the middle of a match-"
"I don't even intend to! I almost killed my first opponent in Ultimate Fight and I'm traumatized to this day...," Okubo shivers. Himuro nods.
"See? She wouldn't like it, but a fair, violent, bloody fight is something else. Some girls really get turned on with this stuff. If that's Miss Uta's case..."
Okubo blinks. And then he opens a huge stupid smile, even blushing a little.
"Jeez, gigolo, you really think so? Because man, if I win a Kengan match and it gets my Tomoh all horny for me, I'll be more than happy to crush other people's faces!"
"Fucking simp!"
"Fuck off, Rihito," He snorts while Himuro and Kaneda laugh. "The day you feel the softness of the right titties, I'm the one who's going to be laughing."
"Look, I don't know if they were the right ones, but I sure felt the softness of several titties a few days ago," Rihito opens the very same stupid smile. "There's no best way to celebrate Komada's first victory in months, dammit. .."
"Oh yeah, you went to celebrate at Ms. Rino's club on the same day as Okubo's Kengan match," Kaneda comments, and Rihito nods, his chest puffed out.
"We sure as hell did! The girls were so sweet with us. First time I went to celebrate with Komada and Ivan too, since my official brothel bro gave up on that life," He mutters in a sullen tone, to which Okubo smiles in the corner.
���Sorry for that, man. I liked the Golden Pleasure Club as much as you, but I wouldn't trade what I have now for anything."
"I know, bro. 'We're happy for you, you know that," Rihito nods. "And it's because we know how important this is to you that we're telling you not to expect the worst. Your chick is a martial arts lover. She's the type who knows that, sometimes, men only understand each other through violence," He laughs. "Just tell it like it is. If she knows you like she says she does, she won't be on your case."
Okubo smiles wider, his chest lightening considerably. He scratches the back of his head.
"Yeah, you're right. Thanks..."
"Yeah, you're so right I'm almost wondering if you're really Rihito," Himuro arches an eyebrow, to which Kaneda chuckles.
"Don't they say that even a broken clock is right twice a day? Well…"
"Why don't you go screw yourselves? Fuckin' bastards," Rihito grumbles, ignoring the laughter of the others. "You shouldn't even be surprised, I've been on a winning streak like no other lately. It's one win after the other!"
"You say that, but you're still behind me on that last lap..."
"Not for long. Go boomerang!," He screams, and laughs loudly when said boomerang hits Yoshi right in front of him. Kaneda lets out an indignant exclamation.
"Aaah! I could accept it if it was a shell, but a boomerang? It's too humiliating!"
"People do what they can with what they have, man! Hell yeah!," He celebrates when he crosses the finish line in first place, even getting up from the mat to do a little victory dance. "Another glorious victory for me, dammit! The other pizza is all mine!"
"Shit…," Himuro grunts, rolling his eyes while Kaneda scratches his headr tiredly. "Now we're going to have to put up with this bullshit… can I go smoke on your balcony, Okubo? I'll close the glass door so the smoke doesn't get in, I just need to put nicotine into my system to withstand this..."
“Sure, man, go kill your heartache with some cancerogenous smoke,” Okubo jokes as Rihito does a victory dance in the middle of the room. Kaneda sighs and puts down the joy-con as Himuro marches to the apartment's balcony, looking pissed, ignoring Rihito's mocking laughter as best he can.
"Who said Superman's winning streak would be short-lived, huh? I'm kicking some major ass!"
"Yeah, just be careful not to fuck it up to the point of fucking your business," Okubo hands him another pizza box, still unopened. "Yamashita is sending you messages about your employees’ licenses issues. Better get that outta the way before it comes back to bite you in the ass, man."
Rihito moans loudly, throwing his head back.
"Damn, I hate these bureaucracies."
"It's annoying, but necessary, since you're a CEO as well as a fighter," Kaneda comments while turning off the Switch. "The sooner you deal with this, the better."
"Okay, okay, I'll stop by his office on Friday and sort this thing out, I promise," Rihito nods before turning to Okubo. "And you! You better solve this mess with Miss Uta sooner than later too. We can't wait for this soap opera to end and for us to reap the fruits of it."
"Bro, I swear to God, if you talk about her friend's phone number one more time...!"
"Nah, this time I'll be quiet. Unless, of course, you mention to her that we were the ones who pushed you in the right direction, and if she wants to thank us by being generous..."
Kaneda ends up laughing, and even Himuro, from the balcony, lets out a low, husky chuckle. Okubo just rolls his eyes, but he does so while trying to hold a smile back.
He was already kind of indebted to his friends for everything they had done to help him sort things out with Tomori, Rihito in particular. If everything worked out between them and she accepted this unconventional aspect of his life, why not bring the subject up? At least Rihito would stop pestering them like that. And he would pay off his debt.
"I hope your friend likes inconvenient idiots as much as you do, Tomoh..."
* * *
"So, what do you think?," Okubo asks while closing the door behind him, his tone a bit playful to disguise his shyness. "Is it as you imagined or did the typical masculine carelessness exceed your expectations?"
"What exceeded my expectations was the size. Holy crap...," Tomori comments, sounding impressed, as she walks around the living room of his apartment, even walking backwards so she can contemplate the place as a whole. "So this is how the luxury apartments in Tokyo's upscale area are from the inside!
"Eh, there are much more luxurious buildings around here, to be honest. For a guy who lives alone, this is enough," He decrees, hands on hips, to which she smiles a little mockingly at him.
"A guy who lives alone and has lotta cash in the bank, right?"
"Hey, I'm no saudi prince, but I deserve to have some luxuries with the money I earn working, right?," He shrugs, taking it in stride. "You could also have some if you let me spend a little on you..."
"Nah-ah-ah! You can stop right there," She raises the palm of her right hand to him like a traffic cop. "I'm getting enough luxuries just to be able to spend one night here with you. You sure there's no problem?"
"None! I cleaned the whole place to be worthy of your presence," He jokes, going to her and hugging her around the waist. "I even went to the market and stocked the fridge, all with your teachings in mind. We'll be able to watch Seki's fight in style!"
"Really? Such consideration!," She returns the hug, smiling at him. "Unless, of course, this is a very well thought out scheme to make me cook."
"Would you rather eat food made by me then? The guy who couldn't even get the shape of rice balls right before you showed him how?"
"I would help you! It would be a nice thing for us to do together."
"I'm up for it, but right now I'm thinking of something else for us to do together...," He bends down to reach her, exchanging a peck with her before going to kiss and nibble her neck, to which she laughs and shivers with the tickling.
"Wow, I really spoiled you, didn't I? Leave it for tonight, after Mr. Seki's match," She murmurs against his mouth, after giving him a longer kiss. "Then the gratuitous violence on television will have put me in the perfect mood."
"You're such a weirdo, Tomoh."
"Pot, meet kettle. I've got your number, mr. 'I-Get-Sad-And-Pouty-When-The-Woman-I-Like-Doesn't-Let-Me-Spend-Stacks-Of-Money-On-Her'."
"That just makes you even weirder," He smiles more, lifting her off the ground and making her scream. "And it makes me like you more and more..."
He kisses her again, and even though she starts slapping his shoulders, she doesn't protest in the slightest. On the contrary, she manages to encircle his waist with her legs, and Okubo concludes that it would be very easy to take her to the bedroom (or to the sofa, in case they concluded that the distance between the bedroom and the living room was too great) and get busy with her. The could leave the tour on the whole apartment for after they've satisfied themselves. They would have all day, after all.
It was so good to have fallen in love with a woman who seemed to have the same sex drive as him, or at least enough that neither of them ended up frustrated. Another of the many things they had in common, and he couldn't get enough of discovering more and more of them every time they were together.
It was what made him not want to believe what Kaneda had said a few days ago. That speech about her not being the right girl for him, in case their opinions regarding his participation in an association that promoted underground fights were very discordant. Where else would he find someone as amazing as her? Someone he was so in tune with? Where else would he find that warmth, that joy, that feeling that everything in the world was in the right place when he was with her?
He didn't want to give that up if he could help it. He wanted to get those doubts out of the way so he could commit to her, and not hide anything else. The opportunity had arisen when Sekibayashi Jun's next performance had been announced to be broadcast on a pay-per-view channel, and Okubo had offered his own television, with the combat channels already included in its premium subscription package, to Tomori, so that she herself would not have to pay.
"Is everything all right for you, Naoh?," She had asked, surprised and a little hesitant, after he had made the offer during their date a few days before. He had nodded with a laidback smile. "It won't be any trouble?"
"Of course not! Why would having you at my place would be trouble?"
"No, that's not it. It's just that... now I know that you get a little jealous of seeing me kissing up to other fighters, so I don't want to push your goodwill..."
She had looked embarrassed, and Okubo had felt bad for making her think he was the kind of possessive idiot who was jealous of even the celebrities his girlfriend admired. He reached across the table where they were both eating, in a small pub.
"You won't, I promise. I'd never ask you to put aside your love for martial arts because of my insecurities, Tomori. It's that dedication that makes you who you are, and I'll never want to change that."
She had smiled when he had touched her face, lifting her fingers to touch his hand as well.
"Great. Thank you..."
"And there's no reason for me to be jealous of that old man Sekibayashi, who's more like a grandpa on a national scale than anything else, haha!"
"He's not even ten years older than you, so your national grandpa status shouldn't be more than a decade away either."
"Hey, hey, how long are you going to make fun of my age? That says more about you than me, you old man lover!"
She had laughed out loud, holding his hand up to her face and turning her head to the side to plant a kiss in the palm.
"I'm not an old man lover! I only like one in particular..."
He would have kissed her right there if the place had been more suitable. And now that they were there, in his apartment, away from judgmental eyes and safe behind all those walls, he just couldn't and didn't want to stop.
If being completely honest with her had been easier and potentially less painful, he already would have been. He would have taken her to watch a Kengan match live, even. But the fear of losing all that was still too much, so he preferred to test the waters before being more open. A good start would be to give her a fun day, back at his apartment, which she's been wanting to visit for a while. Combining business with pleasure, that's what they called it.
“And if I can tame the beast with some sexy times, even better!”
The thought makes him deepen the kiss, whereupon she moans softly against his mouth and grips his shoulders through the top of his shirt.
"Hnnn... man, you really don't waste time..."
"I'm no broken clock to waste time. I like to get straight to the point, you know..."
"I know that well now. But I still want to see the rest of your apartment, you know."
"Oh, we can take a tour right now," He suggests, pulling his lips away from hers just enough to be able to speak. "Starting with my room…"
"Oooh, that's right. Your room," Her eyes suddenly narrow. "It's the place I'm most curious to see, to be honest."
He smiles, all mischievous. "Heh, I can imagine why. I assure you, my bed is almost as big as the one in that love hotel's room-"
“I still haven't got even for that day."
Okubo's smile dies a little, giving way to bewilderment.
"Even...?"
"Yup. Put me down, please," She asks, and he, even more confused, obliges. She marches into the hallway, as Okubo follows. What the hell was she...?
His question is answered when she reaches a door at the end of the hall. She turns to him, arching an eyebrow.
"Is this your room?"
"Uh… yes, it is," He nods, his brow furrowed. "Why? What are you...?"
And instead of answering, she simply reaches out and grabs the doorknob, turning it and opening the door. Okubo can only stare, speechless, as she looks over her shoulder at him, gives him a petulant look as if daring him to protest, and enters the room without even asking permission.
Shit, he didn't know whether to be indignant or have a fit of laughter. He opts for a middle ground, chuckling softly as he rolls his eyes.
"Okay, I deserved that."
And he enters the room right behind her.
He watches her, from the doorway, walk around the room while inspecting everything with interest. He chuckles again when she places a hand over her chin, frowning.
"Disappointed?"
"Not at all. Your bed is really big, wow...," She comments, sitting on the huge mattress, and he smiles more.
"Now you can see why I want to get you there so badly. Just imagine how comfortable it is...," He pats one of the pillows, very pleased to demonstrate its softness. In general, his room was a bit plain, with the king size bed custom-made for him, the dressers flanking it, the closet and the bathroom with a huge bathtub that completed the suite. More personal things that denoted more of his personality and tastes were in his game and reading rooms, but banging her in those places wouldn't be nearly as comfortable as here. "And there's even a view of the city lights at night!"
He indicates the large window in the wall beside the bed, which gave them a view of the surrounding apartment complexes. Tomori smiles, lying on her side on the bed.
"Yeah, it must be very romantic..."
"That's because you haven't seen my lighting system yet! Check it out..."
He rushes to draw the curtains around the window, plunging the room into a soft gloom. And then he claps his hands twice, while throwing a mysterious smile at her.
"Open Sesame!"
Tomori lets out a sound that was a mix of laughter and excited gasp as soft lights come on behind the headboard and at strategic points on the ceiling, around the main source of light, giving the room a cozy atmosphere. She claps her hands as well as she sits back on the mattress.
"Beautiful! I'm going to love sleeping here tonight."
"Thank you, thank you very much," He gives a playful bow. "But you sure won't love it as much as I will!"
"We'll see about that... but look, Naoh, the correct phrase would be 'let there be light', right? ‘Open Sesame’ is for opening things, not turning on lights, haha.
"… If I say that what I wanted was to 'open your legs', will I be able to get away with being made fun of without sounding like a complete asshole?"
She laughs out loud, opening her arms to him.
"No, you won't. Now come here and kiss me before I change my mind and hit you."
And he goes, flushed but still as happy as he can be, climbing onto the bed and holding her close as he complies with her request with an excitement that has her giggling against his mouth. Soon they were lying on the bed, he propping himself up on his elbows so he wouldn't put too much weight on her, her hands touching his back over his shirt as her legs lifted, her feet brushing the sides of his hips.
“Hnnn… I kinda made a miscalculation,” she murmurs after they've both pulled back just enough to catch their breath. Okubo blinks.
"Miscalculation...?"
"Yeah. I should've explored the other rooms in your apartment before I decided to be petty and go into your room. I can see that we won't be able to get out of here anytime soon, haha..."
"And you think you won't have another opportunity to see everything?," He looks at her with a malicious smile. "Or to spend the night here more often?"
She smiles back, practically melting under him at those words.
"Now that I've heard it, I don't think so anymore."
And she then brings him for another kiss, already starting to try to take his shirt off by the hem. She loved to joke about how he was in a hurry, but he sure as hell wasn't the only one there who wasted no time...
He loved it when she didn't stall and showed ho much she wanted him. Promptly, Okubo removed the shirt she held by the hem, letting her help him, and promptly letting her caress his ego with her eyes. And her brown eyes, practically devouring him, made him feel like he was on fire.
"I really don't know how you can think you're ugly," She purrs, those avid eyes seeming to burn. "I think you're really hot, I always have…"
"I don't think men are hot, that must be why," he jokes back. "But you…," he kisses her neck, lifting her blouse.
She raises her arms to make his job easier, and soon, her breasts supported by her pale blue bra are visible to him in all their glory.
"I never get tired of hearing that, you know?," She murmurs, her tone desirous. "I used to get frustrated, thinking that you only thought I was cute. But now that I know you think I'm hot too... wow, that drives me crazy...," And she lifts her hips a little to rub herself between his legs, through the fabric of her skirt.
“Always and always,"” He pulls her bra over it this time, so as not to confuse where the clasp is, and he immediately buries his face between her breasts, purring contentedly with her softness, warmth, and scent. She giggled as she shivered at his breath on her skin.
"Your favorite pillow, right? Oooh...," She gasps softly with his kisses there in the middle. "Naoh..."
"More than that…," he laughs softly. "It’s closer to the heart of the one I love…"
The smile fades as her mouth opens in an O of astonishment, her brown eyes widening. He could see a very distinctive glow forming at the bottom of them, her cheeks staining with that shade of pink he loved.
"... Huh? Naoya, you...," She swallows hard, and when she speaks again; her voice seems almost choked. "It's- It's the first time you say that..."
He looks at her, big gray eyes peeking out between her breasts. "Hmm? Say what?"
"... You're really going to make me say it, aren't you?," She closes her mouth when her lower lip trembles a little. "It's the first time that you say you love me."
... Oh, fuck. Loudmouth was the perfect nickname for him, wasn't it?
He feels his face burning, his eyes widening, his stomach doing somersaults worthy of an acrobat. Holy shit, he had planned so much, rehearsed so many times in front of the mirror, had fantasized so much about the best ways to confess to her! But he had to blurt it out like that, on the spur of the moment!
“Well, there's nothing you can do about that now, dumbass! Just go with the flow and clear your doubts while you’re at it!"
"Oh..." he babbles, his face red. "Yeah… I said that. Do you like it?"
"… I do," She nods after hesitating, looking at him with an affection so intense it takes his breath away. "Because I feel the same way. I... I love you too, mountain. Uugh, you…!," She hides her face in her hands, as red as he is. "Making me act all sappy when I want to be naughty…!"
He blinks in astonishment, suddenly feeling all warm inside, smiling like an idiot, but not in a perverted way. It was almost as if his eyes had doubled in size, his breath hitching for a minute.
“Damn it, she loves me too!,” was all that ran through his head, like a wonderful movie that he would never get tired of replaying, over and over, until the idea sank in. He looks deep into her eyes, and in her flushed face, he sees no reason to doubt her words.
“She loves me too...”
Then his smile turns into something naughty. "And can't we be both? Here, I'll show you," he kisses her on the neck. "My beautiful, gorgeous, delicious brunette who fills me with hunger…!," and grunts against her skin between kisses. "Raaaawn!"
She squeals and laughs out loud, bucking all over beneath him, tears appearing in the corners of her eyes. He couldn't tell if they were from laughter, from happiness or both. All he knew was that she looked even more beautiful that way, damn it!
"Hahahaha! That's a low blohohohow...! My god...," She goes completely limp, throwing her head back, the smile seeming about to tear her face. "I'm so happy, I want you so much..."
"I want you too...," He lifts her skirt, kissing down to arouse her, and massaging her legs in the process, even kissing the inside of one of them to make her shiver with the proximity. And he succeeds, making her shudder all over as she bites her bottom lip.
"Hnnn… you really like kissing me there, don't you? Ever since that time at the love hotel..."
"A fruit like that is something I'll always want to eat," he surprises her by going straight to the middle of her legs, over her panties, biting the fabric. She arches her back into the bed, letting out a loud sound of astonishment and pleasure as she wraps her legs around his head automatically, making his face practically rub against it. Holy shit, that was a leg lock capable of knocking any motherfucker down, no matter how big he was!
"Aaaah...! Yeah, right there...," She support her hands on his head, her nails passing through his scalp, scratching lightly. He only gets a little space to run a finger and push aside her panties and kiss her, right there in the middle. And he opens her lips with his tongue to reach a very important part.
Her moan echoes in the room, her legs opening wider and letting him breathe as well as giving him more room to work. He sees her lift her head, staring at him from between her breasts rising and falling with her breath, her eyes almost black.
"Yes, I love your tongue, I love you, I- oooh, yes, yes...!," She closes her teary eyes tightly with his licks. If he wanted romance amongst the naughtiness, that's what he was going to get. He smiles and kisses her more languidly, loving the sounds she was making, squeezing her buttocks in his hands, lifting her a little higher to explore new areas.
Her toes twitch as she bites her mouth, hands cupping her breasts, her fingers playing with her own nipples. She thanked every deity that might exist that he learned so quickly, that tongue was devilish in every sense of the word. But the damn panties getting in the way were so annoying... she reaches out to cup his face, making him stop.
"Naoh, I wanna try something…"
He stops, looking at her and licking his lips. "What?"
She pulls away just enough so that she can take off her panties, dropping them on the bedroom floor. And then she pats the mattress with her hand, right beside her.
"Lie down for me, please…"
Okubo complies, smirking, curious as to what she's going to do. She notices that he was already quite excited under his pants. If he was like this with just tasting her… She really hoped he was only going to get even more excited about what she was going to do from then on. She smiles, climbing on top of him and kissing him, tasting herself on his tongue before stopping. And then she climbs higher, lifting her hips, until she's right on top of his face, her legs straddled and braced on either side of his head, her breathing faster with the urge.
“Wow, I've always wanted to try this… wanna try it too?"
He smiles. "Wow, if you always wanted to, then it's my dream," he pulls her to literally sit on his face, and sighs. "Nnnnh, thanks, ahahhah," and he laughs before kissing her again.
She can barely laugh along, already moaning with satisfaction and bracing her hands on the headboard for support, moving her hips back and forth slowly, following the path of his tongue.
"Hnnnn, you're- you're welcome... ooh, yeah, you're doing so great... I taught you well, didn't I? Hnnnn...!"
"Being hot is your natural talent…," he says while savoring, supporting her buttocks with his arms so that she can move more comfortably. And she gladly does, squirming in his face and loving it, shivering and throwing her head back every time his tongue goes over her clit, moaning loudly because she knew how much he loved to hear it.
"Oooh...! Naoh, this feels so good... I-I'm almost there, don't stop...!"
And he wouldn't be crazy to do that. He even sucked at her noisily, massaging her legs even more, taking a lick to catch her honey, and punishing her clit with his tongue.
The "punishment" proves too much for her, and soon he's tasting her, pure and concentrated, on his tongue, accompanied by those familiar pulsations and her moan that was almost a scream, filling his ears like erotic music.
"AaaAAAAH! Naoooh...," She bends forward, her legs shaking on either side of his head. "My- My god, you're too good for me, hnnnn..."
This softened his ego so much that if someone made a roast beef out of him right now, it would be the juiciest of dishes. He gave her one last kiss before making her come down and sit on his lap so he could appreciate her face, her messy hair, her rosy cheeks, her shuddering breath. She finds his semi-smug face.
"I'm just what you deserve me to be, Tomoh..."
She even shudders at the husky tone of his voice, as well as the place where she was sitting. The bulge brushing between her sensitive parts…she shivers all over as she bends down to kiss him, not caring that his mouth was all sticky.
"Hnnn... oh yeah? So you deserve me to be very good to you too..."
And she bends down to kiss and lick his broad chest, as he had done to her. He laughs a little, feeling a little ticklish, but still lets her kiss him, holding onto her waist, biting his lip as he feels her sway on top of him. He wanted to remove the rest of her clothes, but he let her play with him a little more. Things shouldn't be rushed, not when he wanted to enjoy every second.
Soon her hands were on the waistband of his pants, and apparently she didn't have much patience for teasing that day, because she was soon opening the button and unzipping his pants, licking her lips as she did so.
“Hnnn… you got that way just from licking me?," She asks hoarsely, getting rid of his pants and holding his cock by the base.
"And seeing you, smelling you… I have to control myself, you know? Hnm," he sighs when she holds him and starts massaging him. "And now, with you touching me, there's no other way I can be…"
"I can see that... what if I do this?," She looks at him as she licks the tip, circling it with her tongue before closing her lips around it and sucking. "Hnnn…"
He trembles, biting his lip and hissing. "I think… oh… I don’t think I need to answer, right…? Ooh…," he holds her hair, in a ponytail on top of her head, so as not to disturb either her job or the view. She responds by lowering her mouth further, circling it with her tongue and then moving up while applying pressure. And from there she said nothing more, letting her actions speak for herself, eyes closed as she moved her head up and down, her mouth making smacking sounds. Her enjoying doing it so much was something he was never going to get tired of, holy shit.
"Tomori... hmmmm…," he murmurs. "Ooh… and you still talk about me… oohh… I'm loving this… hmmm… yeah, babe, just like that, oohm…"
She looks at him, not stopping what she was doing, but changing tactics a little by releasing him and closing her mouth around his cock, goingo up and down while holding him with one hand, the other resting on his thigh. That mischievous face, those eyes staring shamelessly into his... how could he ever think she was the epitome of innocence?
He had never been so happy to be wrong. Wolf in sheep's clothing, indeed. And what a wolf!
"Hnnn… I really do," She murmurs after releasing him to breathe. "Because I know you're as naughty as I am," And she keeps going back and forth with her tongue, from base to tip. He doesn't deny it, because it was the purest truth, and because that hot pressure rising prevented him from being very coherent.
"Uuhh… hnmmm… Tomoh… oh," he trembles. "I'm… hmm… I'm almost…"
She retraces all the way to the tip at that, closing her mouth around him again and sucking hard, massaging what she couldn't quite swallow with her fingers, her tongue punishing the slit, as he had done to her. He loved it when she got vindictive like that, damn it!
"Hmmm! Oohh… Tomo-ohhh!," he arches his back at his climax, trembling at the base, and upon feeling that he's locked, she quickly feels him spurt into her mouth, hot and plentiful. She sucked some more to clean it all up, enjoying his dazed face. She then lets go of him, taking a deep breath and licking her lips before going up, kissing his body all the way until she reaches his mouth, which she kisses even harder.
"Hnnn, I love the way you taste..."
He doesn't respond right away this time, just reciprocating, hugging her tightly, massaging her back, hips and buttocks happily, and then letting go of her mouth.
"Hnn... I can't find anything I don't love about you, Tomori."
She smiles, and this time, it was a tender, cheerful, adorable smile like only the ones she knew how to give. She gives him a peck and hugs him back, her head snuggled into his shoulder.
"If you think about it a little bit, you should find something, but I won't ask you to do that. Right now I can't think of anything I don't love about you too..."
He smiles, stroking her hair. It was so soft… he even closed his eyes in satisfaction, stretching out on the bed. He could feel himself light-headed, carefree…
"Naoh...," She calls out suddenly, her voice low, hesitant. "Did you… did you mean it when you said that earlier? It... wasn't it on the spur of the moment?"
"Hm?," he looks at her. "I decided to be honest with you, didn't I? So, yeah, I'm serious...," He didn't want to say how much he wasn't willing to let go of her at any moment; he still feared that it could be used against him, somehow. He loved her and that was undeniable, but holy shit, if that story about true love not making you blind wasn't true. She curls up in his arms, sighing.
“It's just that sometimes it feels too good to be true, you know. I don't know if you feel the same or if it's just me..."
"I have no idea how to compare it, Tomoh…," he sighs. "But I just know that I really care and I'm willing to prove it."
"… Then say it again," She asks, swallowing a little. "Please. Now that our heads are a little clearer..."
She sounded fragile, for some reason. As if she was afraid of something and wanted to be reassured, comforted…he didn't know what had caused it, or if for some reason she had trouble believing it. But if that was a trap...
“Is that what you expect from the woman you swear you love? Maybe you don't love her that much then. And you keeps accusing her of always jumping to the worst conclusions.”
Guilt makes him cringe too. And it's the desire to prove to his conscience how wrong it was that impels him to say what she wanted to hear, and honestly, what he's wanted to say for so long.
"I love you, Tomori," he smiles, and speaks a little louder. "I love you, Shortie."
She lets out a loud, pig-like snort and quickly covers her mouth to stifle her ridiculous laughter. He, on the other hand, laughs out loud without trying to hide it.
"What the fuck was that noise?!
"Shut- Shut up, leave me alone! You're the one who started with this 'shortie' thing..."
"Which is what you are!"
“Anyone is short next to you, you freakin' Ent..."
"If you knew half of my social circle, you wouldn't say that. Now it's your turn!"
"Me? Oooh, now I don't want to..."
"No, now I want to hear it from you too, Piglet!"
She slaps his chest, trying to look angry and failing. There's a brief moment of silence before she looks up at him, her cheeks flushed, a smile lifting the corners of her lips.
"I love you too, Naoya."
He kisses her, as if to reward her, but also tickles her just as a joke, trapping her. It works, considering how she giggles against his lips and squirms, trying to escape his arms but soon giving up.
"Uugh, you take advantage of me just because I'm a 'shortie'…," She whimpers after returning the kiss. "I'm glad I found ways to knock you down, haha."
"I want you to knock me down, that's why I tease you," He smiles mischievously. "How are you going to do it now?"
Her lids droop, her brown eyes darkening again. She lifts her head enough to brush her lips against his neck, tracing his Adam's apple with her tongue and slowly sucking the skin there as she wraps her legs around his waist.
"I'll do it with words," She murmurs in a hoarse tone. "Let me ride you like a bull, c'mon."
"Ooohh," he smiles at her, after shivering with her words. "So you want me to be your bull… hehe, I like that…," he holds her breasts. "But only if you let me move like one and give you trouble."
"Even better. I'm going to love to tame this bull," She bites her lower lip with his hands on her breasts, giving him a quick peck "Do you have a condom? I brought one in my purse, but it's in the living room and I'm too lazy to get out of bed and go get it, hahaha."
"Yeah, I do," he reaches out to get his pants, and from there he removes his wallet, handing it to her. "Right here!"
"Thank you very much. Now if you excuse me...," She kisses him, and with her hands on his shoulders, she encourages him to lie down again. She goes back to holding his cock by the base, stroking it with her hand in that up and down movement that made him a little dizzy. She even went back to licking and kissing the tip to make it easier, dammit... he couldn't stay put in bed after that. Or, just that specific part. The rest lay flat, while another grew larger.
"Ohh… I really can't get enough of this, Tomoh."
"I know, that's why I can't either," She gives him a wink before covering him up and getting up, positioning herself on top of him and biting her bottom lip as she made him brush against her, threatening to fit and not doing so, just to tease him. "Are you enjoying the view?"
"Yeah... it's the best view," he smiles, keeping his hands away from her, but placing them under the torso, his eyes narrowing with the near-contact. "I love when you tease me, I can't get enough…"
She lifts her hips just enough to position herself, and then she moans softly as she sits back down, shuddering at the warm, luscious feel of him slowly entering her. "Ooh, I can't get enough of that either…!"
He hisses low at the contact, but doesn't hold her legs this time. He starts to move his hips with her on top of him. "Now… hmm… it's your turn to ride the bull, he's moving..."
She gasps when he thrusts deeper into her like that, hitting a spot that made her nearly lose her balance. She leans her hands on the headboard again, moaning and trying to keep up with the movements of his hips as she lowers and raises hers, squeezing herself in the process so it feels even better for him.
"Oooh... Let's- Let's see about that... hnnn, Naoh...!"
"Hnmmm… Tomoo ohh…," he groans, moving his hips with her. "Hmm… I can feel you taking me all the way in, oohhh…," He looked at her, his eyes seeming to devour her, while he hissed and gasped with her grips and thrusts.
“And you're going so deep, I love it so much…” She gasps, her expression a little dazed, and he watches her breasts bounce as she rides him hard, sweat trickling down her skin, her full and wavy hair disheveled, wild. Hell, what had he done to deserve such a wonderful view? He didn't know but he was loving it and he wanted her wild like that whenever she wanted to ride him.
"Ohhh… Tomori…," he bites his lip, moving his hips harder. "Hnmmmm… that's so fuckin' good… but… I want to see you…," and he takes a hand to the middle of her legs, rubbing her clit with his thumb. "I wanna see you coming for me…"
"Aaaah! I- I will, I'm almost there, almost...! Na- NaooOOH!," And she collapses on top of him, shivering all over as she squeezed him hard in those rhythmic pulses, and it was so good that she was so much smaller than him, because it felt even better that way, holy shit...!
"Ooohhh… me- me too- hhnnNNNn!," he trembles as he collapses onto the mattress with her on top of him, instinctively holding her hips as he reaches his climax, panting heavily, even rolling his eyes back in delight. He hears, from somewhere in the distance, her breathless giggle. He feels her soft, warm, sweaty body lie over his, and soon, her lips are attacking his in a hungry kiss, her chest rising and falling quickly with his.
"Hnnn... there- there we go... a duly tamed bull..."
"Moooow!," he bellows playfully, laughing out loud along with her afterwards. She gives him one more kiss before lifting her hips, pulling him out of her, and pulling out the condom for him. And she even gives one more lick and a suck on the tip to emphasize, that miniature devil. He shudders and gasps, and she smirks at him.
"You clown... lucky for you that was so good..."
"You're invited to do it more often with me," he smiles, rolling over on the bed to face down. "Come on, let's see the bathroom and then we'll take a shower so we can watch Seki's match."
“If we fit in your bathtub together, I'm up for it. Carry me?," She asks, reaching her arms to him. "My legs are still wobbly, riding you demands a lot from me."
"Don't even ask twice," he picks her up and carries her, taking her to the bathroom. "hohoho, I'm carrying you like a princess! I love it."
"I'm the King of Combat's princess then?" I love it too," She giggles, resting her head on his chest and closing her eyes, smiling satisfied. "I accept the title with all the honors that come with it. Being carried is one of them."
"No, no, princesses are too cute for what you really are," He laughs. "If I'm the King, then you have to be the Queen."
She flushed with happiness, even swinging her legs as she hugged him back.
“Okay, a Queen, then. Your queen…”
He had to stop himself from bouncing with happiness as he carried her into the bathroom. He still wanted to retain a shred of goddamn dignity!
* * *
"Damn, Naoh… your bathtub is a dream come true!," Tomori sighs while she and Okubo leave the bathroom, steam following them through the door left open. He smiles as he closes it behind him.
"Did you like it?"
"I loved it! It was like walking into a private bath house where no one makes a fuss about my tattoo,” She smiles at him over her shoulder, finishing wrapping herself in the fluffy towel. His expression becomes insinuating.
"And where we won't be kicked out if we decide to play in there a little. All pros and no cons," He approaches and bends down, moving her wet hair away to smell the nape of her neck, making her shiver. "You can bathe in it whenever you want."
"Hnnn… and what is the fee?"
"Your cookies, your kisses... and whatever else you want to give me," And he takes a bite on her warm and fragrant skin, making her shudder and laugh, moving away from him by slapping his hand.
"You're very easy to please, aren't you?"
"Yeah, that's how lucky you are! Almost as much as I am..."
"Stop it, you...," She laughs and gasps when he grabs her by the hips, pulling her to smell and kiss her neck. "That way we'll end up in an endless sex-bath cycle, again and again..".
“You say it like it's a bad thing."
"It's not, but I really don't want to lose Mr. Seki's match. C'mon, don't make that face," She asks when he frowns. "I already told you that you have no reason to be jealous..."
"What? ... Oh no, that's not it," He shakes his head after a few seconds of confusion. "I was just remembering something and I got thoughtful..."
"Can I know what it is or is this another one of your secrets?"
"No…," He scratches the back of his head, looking to the side in sudden embarrassment. "I can talk about it, but it's just… it's kinda ridiculous, to be honest."
"Look, I think we've already reached the intimacy stage where ridiculous situations are part of the package," She argues. "We've moved on from there. I promise I won't make fun of it... too much."
He rolls his eyes, trying not to smile too much when she laughs.
"I would be worried about you if you didn't make fun of it. Anyway...," He shakes his head. "Remember that time when I was trying to win you back after my fuck-up? With the gifts and everything..."
She raises her eyebrows a little, nodding slowly.
"Kinda hard to forget. First the chocolate box, then half a flower shop's stock..."
"And you liked it, you can stop with the exasperated tone," He snorts. "But anyway, the chocolate and the flowers… they weren't the first gifts I bought for you. There's another one... and you can use one of them if you like. They're comfortable..."
"Huh?," She blinks, momentarily confused. And then her eyes widen a little when she understands. "Wait, you – you bought me clothes?"
“Uh… yes?," It was supposed to come out as a statement, but it came out more like a question, given the slight nervousness.
"In plural?"
"Yeaaaah...?"
"Aah… oh, Naoh…," She blushes a bit, scratching an arm. "I… oh, damn, I don't want to sound ungrateful, I swear I'm happy about it, but… how much did they cost?"
He frowns, a little sullen.
“Hey, hey, you don't ask the price of a gift given from the heart."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry, I...," She ends up sighing. "Anyway, why didn't you give them to me before, in that case?"
"Well… I was going to, but the guys warned me that it might be… inappropriate," He gestures uncertainly. "Under the circumstances, at least."
She blinks again. And then her eyes widened even more, her checks blushing even harder, and this time it wasn't hard for Okubo to read her expression.
"It's not lingerie or anything like that!," he exclaims, alarmed, and she immediately relaxes, taking a deep breath in relief.
"Oooh, good… but what else would be considered inappropriate, in that case?," She asks, and it's his turn to blush. He wets his lips and turns to his closet.
"Yeah, I think you'd better see for yourself..."
He opens the door, allowing her a brief glimpse of the various shelves drawers, the hangers and the items of clothing they hold, the shoes, the baseball caps and various boxes containing sporting equipment before he closes the door behind him. He leaves about half a minute later, carrying a pile of T-shirts, looking a little mortified.
"Okay... first of all, promise you won't get mad at me?"
“I… I don't know if I can promise something like that, so I'll just promise I'll try,” She says after hesitating, to which he sighs.
"Fair enough... here, they're all the same size, so if they don't fit... oh no, the refund deadline has already expired, so it doesn't even matter," He sighs again, more dramatically, and Tomori just can't contain herself.
"Damn, now I'm more curious than worried! Let me see this..."
She picks up the top T-shirt from the pile and unfolds it. She is expressionless for about a second. Then her jaw drops.
"Oh, God..."
"Yeah…," he pouted. "I bought some shirts printed with my face from the store, because well, you're my fan, and I thought if I gave you some… but the guys said…," and he stopped, looking at her. "What's with that face, Tomoh?"
“… It's- It's just that I…,” She starts to say, not seeming to know how to continue. She turns the T-shirt over, checking the back of it and showing him his own face, in profile and smiling, stamped there in a scale of white and gray. She clenches her mouth, holding back a farting sound. "I… I kinda already have one of these, hahaha!"
"... Oh," he sighs. "Okay, I didn't see that coming. So does that mean you like it?"
"Of course!," She exclaims, clearly more relaxed, and that was a tremendous relief. "I mean, if you'd given me that back then, I would've found you very audacious," She admits, but without stopping smiling. "But now… damn, why I wouldn't like it? You gave me the entire collection!," She leaves the shirt aside and goes to inspect the others, excited. "Do you want me to wear one of them, then?"
"Well, they are kind of tailored for you, I think," he says, without much idea in his head. "I hope I got the size right and it's not too tight."
"Let me see…," She removes the towel, allowing him to have his favorite view for a few seconds before putting on one of the shirts. She opens her arms, smiling, showing his own face on her chest. "Yeah, it fits! How do I look?"
"Just like Donald Duck," he laughs. "Wearing a shirt and nothing else."
“Uh… aaah, you jerk!," She hides the middle of her legs with her hands, turning red again, while he bursts out laughing. "If I knew how to make a Donald Duck impression, I'd tell you everything you deserve to hear in his voice!"
"Hahahah, and who said I didn't like it?," Okubo smiles. "You look great in it. If it was up to me, you'd watch the match like this. It would make my job easier later..."
She puffs out her cheeks, still flushed.
"Pervert... I'll wear at least one pair of pajama shorts. Can you imagine me jumping up and down and screaming while my lady bits are ventilated? No, thanks!," She lets him have one more fit of laughter before continuing, smiling knowingly. "But you sure don't play around, huh. Wanting me to watch another one of my idols fight while wearing your face on my chest... they call it 'marking territory', right?"
"Oh, come on," he laughs again. "It's not like you're making a fool of yourself for wearing my face on your clothes… except if it was in front of an audience."
"I know I'm not. But I'd only wear it in front of an audience if you were also wearing something like that, so we can even it out," She jokes.
"Hmmm…," He has an idea. "I think I know exactly what I can do! Wait a minute," he walks into the closet and closes the door. About a minute later, he speaks from inside. "Ready, Tomoh?"
“I have no idea what for, but sure,” She nods, looking curiously at the door.
"Okay, there you go!," he walks out the door, and there he is, dressed from head to toe as a clown. "Ta-daaaa," he waves his gloved hands, smiling, joking around.
"Uh- Ooooh, my God!," She scratches like a crow, laughing and then pointing. "It's a Kuidaore Taro costume! I can't believe you have something like this, hahahaha!"
"Well, this is a new version, but yes, I do," he scratches the back of his neck. "I wore it in the last tournament I participated in, the guys even encouraged me… but nobody recognized me and that sucked," He sighs. "But it's fine, at least my number one fan recognized it and that's enough for me."
"How could I not recognize it? I baked a whole batch of cookies with his face the second time you visited the bakery, remember? Oh, my Gohohohod...," She bends over herself, still laughing. "All that's missing is the little drum and the drumsticks! Oooh man, I have to take a picture, wait!," And she runs out of the room, with her ass still out.
"Okay, now I'm feeling kinda weird watching you run with your ass out like a nutcase. I want to see more, but I'm dressed as a clown and it's distracting me from my cosplay! My God, that's so fucking perverted, ahahhahaha," He stifles a laugh.
"Dude, control yourself, you have to maintain the character! Come here, the lighting in the living room is better," She calls, and when he goes, she's wearing tiny silk shorts, her phone already in her hand. "Okay, can you concentrate better now?"
"Awwww…," he pouted, and in that costume, it looked like someone had hurt the clown's feelings. "Now I'm bummed, I wanted to keep this mental image of you being cute and sexy in my living room…"
"Naoya, look at the size of these pajama shorts! Only the complete set can be sexier than that," She slaps her own ass, laughing. "You'll see for yourself later. Come on, you don't want to appear in the photo with your 'circus tarp' all set up, do you? Hehehahaha!"
"Damn, that'd be one hell of a weird porn… but I'm not going to do that. Okay, if you're taking a pic, what pose should I do?"
"The classic 'playing drums' pose would be perfect, but I don't think you have the drum or the sticks... Oooh, I know, do a super sentai pose, it'll look funny!," She puts the phone horizontally. And relax, I won't" show it to anyone, it'll just be for me to keep as a souvenir. You look so cute, my God...!," she coos, and it didn't sound mocking. Hell, what had he done to deserve that woman?
He smiles. "Okay then, how about Ultraman's pose, like this?," he raises one arm and flexes the other, leaving his legs apart. "Then I'll open my best Kuidaore smile, just like this…," he smiles.
She laughs out loud and snaps the photo. And then another one hits. And other. And yet another, all of it non stop laughing, varying angles, herself seeming to strike poses in her excitement.
"That's perfect! Now flex your muscles... yes, just like that!," She was approving, and then she runs to him, hugging him from the side. "Wow, I can even see 'em through the costume! Lookin' gooood..."
"And it's all yours," He smiles. "Well, how about if I do this…?," He flexes his arms downwards, making them appear under the costume, and still looking smiling like an idiot, to Tomori's delight. "Yeah, now how about a-," He cuts himself off when he hears the doorbell ring "Oh".
She stops laughing, looking a little startled at the door.
"Oh, are- are you expecting someone? Who is that-"
"HEEEY, IS ANYBODY HOME?!," A thundering voice is heard from the other side of the door. "Is this where someone ordered a half margherita, half Florentine pizza, to match the owner's egg head?"
Tomori's eyes widen. "Rihito?"
"What the…!," he blinks. "I didn't invite him over…," He goes to the door and answers it. "Hey, Rihito, you could've told me you were coming, man!," He stops halfway to open the door when he sees Himuro and Kaneda. "Oh, you guys came too…," and he opens his mouth in astonishment when he notices the seven feet tall man right behind them. "Agito?!"
"Huh?," Tomori frowns, approaching to try to see behind Okubo's body. She could see Rihito, Himuro, Kaneda and... holy crap, who was that giant man right behind them?!
"Can you believe it, dude? Rihito ran into him when he was leaving Yamashita's office and…," Himuro was about to say, but he was interrupted as he looked him up and down, making a slightly perplexed expression. "What's with the costume?"
"And… Miss Uta? You're here?!," Kaneda widens his eyes when he notices Tomori, right behind Okubo. Rihito widens his eyes too, looking from her to the bald man, stopping to analyze the situation... and then making a face that was a mixture of horror and disgust.
"Holy shit, what the hell were you two doing in here?!"
The couple turns extremely red. An awkward silence falls over the group for a few moments. And that's when the huge man right behind the other three idiots, with slicked back dark hair, sunken eyes without eyebrows and wearing biker attire, finally speaks.
"Hnnn… is this what Narushima Koga calls 'bad timing'?"
NEXT CHAPTER
#Kengan Ashura#Kengan Omega#kenganverse#fanfiction#Okubo Naoya#Naoya Okubo#okubo x oc#kengan oc#Rihito#Himuro Ryo#Kaneda Suekichi#Kanoh Agito#cookies'n cream#the heavy bakery series
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youtube
please watch in 4K! ❤️
now that the european leg of the tour is over, it felt fitting to share with you guys my experience at the second london show, after carefully selecting which bits and pieces of the videos @canthandlethepain and i took to merge into this larger one ❤️
as you guys probably know, we traveled to the UK especially for this! his london show was our second time seeing him ever, a week after we first saw him at the capital fm summertime ball (i'll probably make a post of that as well)
i honestly didn't look at what i was filming the entire time, i was looking directly at him 😅 i look at him through screens all the time, i wanted to fully experience seeing him right in front of me. so excuse all the wonky angles, the out of focus frames etc. i didn't think i'd be posting any of this when i recorded. but i really wanted to share with you guys, i know it's old news and you've seen it all from various angles on various platforms already, but if anyone cares to see it from my pov- here it is haha (definitely don't skip the ending 👀) i only kept the highlights from the show, all of it was originally filmed in portrait, so i had to crop the footage for a better viewing experience
we were soooo lucky to land such amazing tickets after waiting in that queue from hell for ages (we didn't get ANY tickets for the first wembley show- so when the ones for the second date went on sale only to land vip front pitch early entry we were absolutely blown away)
we stood front line at the barricade! he was so close it was INSANE! the camera actually makes it look like he was further away. i'm so grateful to have had this amazing experience, considering this was wembley- a 90k capacity stadium and it was sold out! absolutely mindblowing. just sharing this kind of experience with so many people in itself was out of this world amazing! i never have luck with stuff like this. it was truly meant to be ❤️
harry is of course an incredible live performer. he sounds amazing, his energy is contagious, he's definitely having the time of his life on stage but you could definitely sense that the venue was a huge deal for him. i think he was a bit overwhelmed and a bit more reticent to go full out bananas and he was very emotional throughout 🥺❤️ he's such a sweetheart istg. one thing i will say though is that the man makes very intense eye contact. like, holy smokes. he really looks at you, he's not just skimming through the crowd! yeah🔥... but i survived!!!
unfortunately it rained almost entirely throughout the show, our fits were ruined, we had to wear lame raincoats overtop. i still can't believe i let this man, of all people, see me miserably drenched like that 🤣☠️ oh well!
even the way back to the tube was amazing (i took the pic from the venue and the station was waaaaay at the end of the road there and all of it was packed) everyone was lovedrunk, we all sang his songs along with old 1d songs, even security joined in. masses and masses of people. although i found some harries not to be particularly nice initially (🥲🥲🥲) after getting their fix we all just became one big happy family
also important side note 😅 i tried my level best not to sing along while filming- you can hear me a few times but i promise it's never the horrible out of tune voices you can sometimes hear fhdhsjjs fortunately i didn't hear them as loudly in real life, but the mic picked up whatever was near so yeah ☠️ we had some especially enthusiastic ladies to my right... my right ear is still recuperating eheheh
#harry styles#harry styles love on tour#love on tour london#love on tour 2022#hslot 2022#hslot wembley#hslot#love on tour wembley#hslot london#Youtube
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Radley's Monkey Ball theories (1)
[cause i was ranting too much on twitter for this, ALSO NOTE: This post is very long.]
I'm gonna make this first one about uh... F-Gongon. I think one reason why so much worldbuilding was never brought up again (Aside from the gap between Bounce and BBHD) is because SMB wants the doubles to just be costumes. Why though? They have their own lore. And holiday posts don't even use the doubles. They even put Meemee in a witch hat ignoring the fact W-Meemee exists.
I've already rambled before about how the monkeys are not the same as their doubles but in this post I'm highlighting F-Gongon specifically because I think he does this best (And it's also my favorite character). I've been wanting to ramble about it for a really really long time actually.
So F-Gongon. Its lore is that it was awoken within an ancient castle and cannot eat bananas due to his sheer strength, being modified to be stronger than his original iteration.
^^^ Who might I add is already extremely strong on his own what the fuck. I mean. Have you seen him punch away the timebomb in the volcano.
So I'm gonna start off with its castle. The series never specified what castle it got awoken in (implying it had already been in there for who knows how long?) but he could have also been created in there. This could be the Bananightmare castle considering a lot of doubles in 3D seem to have ties with in-game worlds (cough R-Doctor cough P-Yanyan[?]). This is probably the most likely outcome considering if I wanted to stretch it, W-Meemee would have her ties with Sweet Fountain or maybe even Skyopolis but that's like I said, a stretch.
My personal theory is that F-Gongon was awoken in the Clock Tower Factory considering the exterior of the building is castle-like. The entire plot of the factory is that Bad Boon created Aiai robots there to do his bidding. And he's also from the fucking future so yeah I'm pretty sure he has enough mechanical expertise to make a zombie. And logically if he wanted to make a clone to stop Aiai and friends, he should pick Gongon because he is aforementioned extremely fucking powerful. Gongon would have worked as the robots if the end goal was to fight and cause bloodshed, but the Aiai robots were made to stir distrust (which is probably why they got destroyed immediately).
But if there's a castle in Mystic Dome (I don't think so though) he could have been awoken in there too. There's all sorts of ancient computers in Mystic Dome! They're active and they're given life. Nobody knows why, not even the game itself. And his color scheme is lots of blues/grey/green which matches with the area too.
NOT TO MENTION HIS COLORSCHEME MATCHES WELL WITH BAD BOON'S BASE AS WELL! WHICH MIGHT I ADD IS WHERE HE WAS IN A PROMOTIONAL TWEET.
WAIT WHAT THE FUCK I JUST HAD ANOTHER THOUGHT FUCK IS MYSTIC DOME THE REMAINS OF BAD BOON'S BASE-
Okay well I haven't even touched on the bananas thing yet so I should probably get to that. In 3D's description for him, F-Gongon is stated to be so powerful it can't eat bananas. In this description, this is clearly mentioned to be due to physical strength, however, in this tweet, this is implied to be a stomach thing (Which would make sense, why would a mass of electricity and probably rotting flesh be able to digest food).
Though it could also be a mix of both, actually. It's already implied to be hard enough for him to grasp things without crushing or even maybe shocking them, but in the chance F-Gongon could properly grab a banana, will the food even properly settle in its stomach? Maybe he'd get cockroaches festering in its body and need them removed?
This makes me wonder if he could eat the haunted banana. The description for it mentions that it's a ghostly spirit of a banana and that "You'd have to be totally bananas eat it!" (Ik I wrote it like that btw, it literally has that typo in game.) If that banana doesn't have a physical form, maybe he can eat it. And the holy banana's physical form is possibly dubious, considering it is potentially somewhat made of light considering it glows.
It's also worth noting that the entire plot of SMB1 is that Aiai and Gongon are in a race to Banana Sanctuary (A place with bananas). And I don't really see why F-Gongon would want to go there if he can't eat the bananas.
So what's F-Gongon's personality like? The normal Gongon in canon is shown to be a rowdy, hard headed guy who cares deeply for his friends and has a strong self image, wanting to become the strongest monkey in the world.
Though, like all the other doubles, not much is shown with F-Gongon. Although judging by the fact that he's a modified version of an ape who's already extremely strong, I don't think he has any goals it wants to set or follow. There's nothing for him to want to achieve. Normal Gongon is already off working with team Super Monkey Ball and his own aspirations, and why would F-Gongon need to do that? The only thing I could reasonably see it wanting to achieve is 1. Collecting bananas and 2. Thwart Bad Boon's plans.
At first I looked at the mention of him being all about collecting bananas in the promo tweet with the take of "But why would he collect bananas if it can't eat them?" But then I remembered "Hey, he's so different from most monkeys, and they're probably scared of it for being a monster." Maybe he wants to give monkeys bananas as a show of not being threatening? Everyone loves bananas! So if he gave people bananas, they'd want to be its friend!
(Also, back to an earlier point, Banana Sanctuary just has way too many bananas to take home and give to others which is why I didn't bring it up in that segment until now.)
And let's assume for a second that what I said about him being awoken by Bad Boon is correct, I would imagine it'd hold a lot of resentment towards Bad Boon (Who wouldn't, actually?) and probably be very angry that someone like itself has been awoken and set free into the world. That he shouldn't exist considering, well... Normal people don't have bolts in their head and multicolored fur and skin stitched together. He is not normal. He's a freak of nature.
I think that his unlock conditions in both Monkey Race and Monkey fight could also lure a bit into a sensible personality for him:
In Monkey Race, it is unlocked by getting 3rd place in the Mt. Tyrano grand prix. This is the lowest score for any character unlocked here, while P-Yanyan requires 2nd and B-Jet requires 1st. The track itself is a vast, rugged mountain with lots of spots to fall lose yourself in. Good for any explorer monkeys looking for treasure, or in B-Jet's case, a place to roam around with the rest of the tribe. In Monkey Fight, he's simply unlocked with beating the Hidden series in 1st place.
This combined with the unlock conditions of Monkey Race and the small tidbits we get from his lore make me theorize that F-Gongon is a gentle giant with no life goals who relatively tries to hide from the world due to a poor self image. It does genuinely want to have a few close friends and to be accepted for what he is but still can't help but hold resentment and frustration towards most everything and everybody around it.
(Don't ask about Monkey Race karts at the time being though I have no idea where they'd fall if they even did.)
Just as a little bonus: I have been using He/It this entire time for it! I personally view that as a headcanon though I do have a reason why I have that view. He has been called both He/Him in game + on promotional posts, but has also been called with It/Its in a translation of another post.
It was probably just a coincidence but I really love it lawl
But that's about it for my theory. This was fun to do and I always have lots of thoughts about this series so I'm hoping to do more theorizing later!
(Also help I not only 1. spent an hour on this post but 2. have just began thinking about how he ties more into my oc's lore because its important to her story lawl)
#radley speculates#super monkey ball#theories#f-gongon#i'm so happy i had the chance to rant about him for my first theory post because its my favorite character since 2019#f-gongon i love you#i even have an old tag that i gushed about him in lemme grab it#ceo of f-gongon#:]
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