jumpscare

jigen has a realization.

(id, notes, and bonus sketch under the cut!)

[Image ID: a four page comic done in faded monochrome sepia tones featuring Jigen and Goemon from Lupin III. Jigen stands out on a balcony, smoking and leaning on the railing as he looks out over the city. He glances back as someone from behind him asks, "Mind if I join you?" Goemon comes to stand next to him. Jigen: "'Course not. How're you feeling?" Goemon: "Better." Jigen: "Glad to hear it." We see them closer up, and it can be seen that Goemon is very beat up, with a black eye, cuts all over his face, and bandages on his fingers and arms. Goemon: "...May I have one?" Jigen, lost in thought: "Huh? Oh, uh - Yeah, sure." He fishes out a cigarette and hands it to Goemon, who puts it in his mouth. "Do you need a--" starts Jigen before breaking off, startled, as Goemon grabs his face and leans in to light his cigarette with Jigen's. Close up on Jigen's wide eyes with the light of the cigarette reflected in them. He's having a moment. Then Goemon pulls back and leans against the railing, exhaling a cloud of smoke. Jigen stares at him. Goemon: "You're staring, Jigen." Jigen flinches and tugs his hat down over his eyes, blushing and muttering "sorry." But then he lifts his head, surprised, as Goemon puts a hand on his back and looks at him with a smile. Jigen smiles back. The final page is a single wide shot of them standing on the balcony together, leaning against each other, each with an arm around the other. End ID]

hi 🫣 feeling very shy about posting this one but i managed to convince myself to do it anyway so i hope it doesn’t flop teehee. some misc notes about this comic and its making:

it’s a scene from a wip fic of mine that may or may not ever get finished. the gist of it is that goemon gets tortured and almost dies, and it kind of forces both of them to realize how much they care about each other

the posing of jigen’s hat and the visibility of his eyes (neither, one, both) is very intentional and symbolic! see if you can kind of track that theme through the comic :]

when i was thumbnailing, the third panel on the first page gave me some grief because i couldn’t figure out where to put the speech bubbles so they wouldn’t get in the way. then i had the idea to put them in between J and G, because it adds a nice symmetry and if you squint also has a sort of symbolic meaning (something something the words are figuratively separating them from each other, exchanging pleasantries as a stand-in for saying how they really feel, etc etc)

this comic was great practice drawing profiles and hats lmao

i did a chunk of the sketching and planning for this while drunk and i honestly think it made it better

this took me F O R E V E R and i stared to get really tired of doing it by the end so you can probably see the quality decrease lmao. alas. it's not perfect but it is what it is

and finally, a little bonus that i really needed to get out of my system after drawing this:

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

so ive read fruits basket like twenty times, and over the last couple of years i noticed that, each time, i was drawn more and more to the characters of kimi and momiji, and identified with them in a way that was really confusing to me because i didnt really think i *actually* had a very similar personality to either of them? (discord friends may disagree but, well, this whole post is going to be about people and characters who change up their personality to be more likable.) i got all introspective about it and finally came to a conclusion about their characters that i subconsciously knew already: the key similarity between the two of them and myself is the way we very carefully layer subtle personality masks for ourselves to protect ourselves and to seem more approachable and likable without actually being vulnerable to other people. (other characters in furuba do this a lot too--key examples that come to mind are tohru, kagura, and yuki--but i care more about momiji and kimi so this is about them.)

to clarify a bit what i mean by this, ill start with a personal example. ive always been pretty good at remembering people’s names, especially if i think theyre cool and want to become friends with them, but i noticed around middle school or high school that people subconsciously find it intimidating/stalkerish if you know their name and they cant remember yours, especially if youve only met once. on the other hand, if they *do* remember your name, and you admit to not remembering theirs, they feel empowered and sympathetic to your situation; and if neither of you remember the other’s name, you have a moment of solidarity that can lead to a more relaxed relationship. so, i started pretending to have a manageable amount of trouble remembering the names of people i wanted to be friends with. the first two or three times that i meet someone, at some point i will use “clarifying their name” as a conversation starter, ie: “you’re....[], right?” or “is it []?” this is a small effect of a pattern of behavior i tend to follow: feigning incompetence to gain trust and camaraderie. is it manipulative? absolutely, but harmlessly so. its directly derived from my own social anxieties, but its a relatively healthy way to feel more connected with my peers and to stop feeling ostracized by people who resent me for being “smarter” than them--something i struggled with a lot in my youth. momiji and kimi dont put up the *same* masks as myself, but they are both rather adept at maintaining their own masks, and are both incredibly socially perceptive in the same way that i am: they analyze people’s reactions to their behavior and sculpt themselves to get the reaction they want.

lets take a look at what this means for kimi. surface level, kimi seems pretty cookie cutter--sure, shes a little chaotic, but she fits quite nicely into the femme fatale/dumb blonde trope (even though shes not blonde). but did you know that shes actually at the top of her class? its subtle, but to me its always been obvious that shes actually incredibly intelligent and constantly manipulating people to suit her needs. there are easy examples of this, of course: flirting with a teacher to get a new whiteboard, anyone? but there’s one scene that’s always spoken volumes to me about her character, and that’s the one-off joke where kakeru starts to say some “secret” about her, clearly joking, and she immediately shuts him down by cutting him off with “don’t say unnecessary things!” and elbowing him in the side, all while still smiling cheerfully. the subtlety of this is that, with her reaction, she’s actually imitating their audience: yuki. it’s yuki she doesn’t want to know about whatever kakeru knows, so she shuts down kakeru in a way we’ve seen yuki yell at kakeru whenever kakeru makes idiotic jokes. the physical attack, the angry smile, accusing kakeru of saying something annoying, but that doesnt really matter; none of these are particularly characteristic to kimi, she causes as much chaos as kakeru on a good day, but they’re incredibly recognizable to yuki. her reaction is familiar to yuki, and it invokes an assumption that kakeru is making a lame joke, not trying to reveal one of her deepest, darkest secrets, and it works because yuki would react completely differently if kakeru tried to tell someone about *his* secrets. yuki doesnt pursue the subject further, kakeru bounces back easily and doesnt give it a second thought, and kimi is safe. so, we can tentatively say that kimi has a habit of reflecting other’s expectations to hide her true self.

now, is this one scene enough on its own to prove this idea? of course not. however, when we view her actions as a whole we start to see a pattern. we see several instances where kakeru will say something stupid and kimi will listen, encourage it, or say something just as stupid back; it’s only when he tries to reveal something about *her* that she shuts him down. we see subtle signs of genuine anger when he tries to reveal her secret: the overly violent jab, the tensed vein/angry eyebrows, etc--not very characteristic for happy-go-lucky, flirtatious kimi. and, of course, we have several examples of how she manipulates a) men into buying things for her, granting her favors, leaving their girlfriends for her, etc; and b) women into feeling inferior to her, feeling aggravated with her, and thinking she’s incredibly troublesome but knowing that they can’t argue with the men about it. overall, its not a far stretch at all to think she’s manipulating everyone around her to avoid revealing information about her true self: a proud, intelligent woman who enjoys causing chaos, but is also very manipulative and controlling to the people around her and hates being vulnerable.

momiji is in some ways similar, and in other ways very very different. most people--especially characters in the story with him--tend to put momiji in this “sweet, innocent child” box. it’s not just his height--his fashion, mannerisms, outlook on life, etc are all very reminiscent of someone much younger than he is, and people tend to *treat* him like he’s much younger than he is. even if they know intellectually that yes, momiji is significantly older than he appears, it’s very easy for the older sohmas to treat him as a troublesome but still loved younger sibling--someone to be taken care of, not taken too seriously, someone lovable. i’ve seen several people point out that part of *why* momiji does this is because he subconsciously feels that hes not allowed to act like an older sibling (to momo), so he acts as a younger sibling in an effort to get a similar sort of familial bond without overstepping the boundaries that his family instilled in his mind, and i agree. i believe momiji has a habit of feigning youth to more easily bond with the people he loves. his childish actions and behavior make him easier to deal with, and also give him a little more leeway to do things that would normally frowned upon if he appeared older, ex: sleeping in a bed with tohru, wearing a girl’s uniform top to school, taking any chance he can get to be physically affectionate with people, indulging in sweets and candy, etc.

two things draw momiji’s true personality out of its shell: his growth spurt, forcing people to acknowledge his actual age, and the breaking of his curse. late game momiji, to me, has always seemed bitter, tired, and sarcastic, as opposed to the sweet, energetic, and sincere front he’d put on for most of the series, which is very interesting to me. of course, you’d normally *expect* someone who’s gone through as much as momiji to *be* bitter, tired, sarcastic, etc; however, when he puts his child-like mask on, it’s easy to pretend that he’s this loving, saintly child who bears no ill will towards anyone, who can be knocked to hell and back and still stand back up to smile again. and i do think it’s true that momiji has an incredible capacity for forgiveness and love, but there’s also no denying that he has a limit, and we can see that during his first conversation with akito after his curse breaks. this, i think, is the most raw, true representation of momiji in the whole story; momiji has lost his link with the family he made for himself in the zodiac, he’s been physically forced to grow out of his persona, he’s finally seeing that his primary abuser is really not so powerful after all, and he’s forced to finally confront the fact that, while his curse, the thing that caused most of the troubles in his life, is broken, the impacts it already had on his life won’t magically go away. momiji in this scene seems completely disconnected from akito, who is still caught up in the curse, still desperately trying to hold everything together; in his lowest moment, we can finally see momiji, not as an all-forgiving saint, but as someone who just wants to start over. he’s not happy that his curse ended; id even go as far to say that momiji, out of every zodiac, is the one who most wishes it was still around, for the bond that it gave him with the other zodiacs and as something he could pin the blame on for his family struggles. which is why it is so sad to me that his was among the first to break.

now, yall probably know by now that i am a momimi bitch, so lets talk about them together. most of the people i see shipping them--and i fully admit, this is how i started shipping them--simply just say “same energy,” make a few cute headcanons about how they’d use each other for clout, and call it a day. this is perfectly fine. however, here at Overthinking It Inc., we take it a few steps deeper. personally, i have a hard time getting invested in a ship unless i can see how the characters compliment each other, how they help each other grow, and how they could genuinely enjoy each other’s company enough to pursue a romantic relationship. it took a little bit of obsessive extrapolating, but ive finally figured out just *how well* momiji and kimi compliment each other.

momiji, at the end of furuba, is going through a metamorphosis. he’s been forced out of his childish persona and into the life of an adult rather quickly, and he takes the opportunity to try to become more true to himself. we can see, in the last few chapters, the beginnings of bounds of growth; however, i imagine that there is a significant “awkward” period in his growth. judging from what i know about his character, i believe he would, in his effort to be more honest and confident, overcompensate a bit; he would become overbearing, intense, perhaps even oversharing. he might have a tendency to try to figure out what’s “wrong” with his friends and family, might always be trying to “fix” everything. i could easily see him, in fact, develop a bit of a selfish attitude (albeit rooted in kindness--it is, after all, still momiji); in his journey to stop letting people walk all over them, i believe he might become prone to walking over people himself. he’d have no idea where the lines are, where someone’s limits are, because he never had the chance to test them out in his youth, and because the people in power in his life (his parents and akito) never respected anyone else’s limits. enter kimi: tough, walled off, and incredibly secretive, though she tries to hide it. momiji, with his social perceptiveness, would notice at some point how difficult it is for her to form genuine, emotional connections with others, and would feel the urge to help her, to draw her out of her shell, not realizing that she doesnt necessarily want to be understood, nor that she’s (now entering headcanon territory, be warned) *scared* of those kinds of relationships. she’d take it, for a while, but there would come a time when she’d snap. this would do wonders for helping momiji figure out where the boundaries are, and how to be more aware of other people’s wants and needs (and it is something that tohru, reserved little wallflower that she is, would never be able to do for him).

kimi, on the other hand, has not quite started developing her character at the end of the manga. i like to apply all sorts of believable anxieties onto her: maybe she regrets not having an easy connection with other girls, like she does with boys. maybe she refuses to believe in the familial structure (that momiji idolizes). maybe she’s so used to playing the part of the homewrecker that, when she finally realizes that she’s found something or someone she truly loves, she doesn’t know how to handle it, and always worries that somebody’s going to take it away for her. maybe she views connections with others, or vulnerability, as a weakness, something that could be used against her, and tries to do everything she can to wall people off and hide her true feelings. well, good news for her, momiji is the resident king of loving family structures. family is something he truly loves and understands, from how much he’s admired it from afar, and been grateful for the family he’s made for himself in hatori, tohru, and the other zodiac. he’s well primed to help her understand what a true family is like, that real love is a good thing, not a scary thing, and that it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes. this big, sweethearted doofus who somehow managed to see how much she was struggling under the many layers of masks that she hides beneath? there’s no way kimi wouldnt fall for him. and she, this girl who challenges everything he believes in, teaches him valuable lessons about how far is too far, and is basically the most fun person he’s ever met? there’s no way momiji wouldn’t fall for her.

i believe the two of them would start things off as almost a play; theyd portray a satire of the ideal male and female celebrity couple rather easily; theyd lean into the standard boy and girl roles almost ridiculously so, drawing attention to the absurdity of the standard relationship and somehow flirting through it. kimi, as we know, likes to pretend to be this helpless, flirtatious, “i couldnt possibly do anything on my own, oh whatever shall i do O3O” caricature of the feminine “ideal” to draw men in; momiji, i feel, would respond to that with a dorky, happy-go-lucky, “i can help you with that, miss ; )” caricature of the masculine, “ideal” gentleman, just for fun. theyd put on a show, for each other, for their peers, and for themselves, but they would eventually run into some troubles (detailed above). things would be tense, but theyd keep up their personas--why would they *ever* admit to their flaws to the outside world, theyre perfect? their friends would notice, of course, but wouldnt be able to do much about it; in the end, the only people perceptive enough to read through the bullshit of one is the other. theyd come to an understanding--spoken or unspoken (with the subtleties of their relationship, its not unreasonable that they could change their entire perspective of their relationship with just actions, not direct words or conversation)--and shift back into their previous, flirtatious relationship, except its different this time. because now, they understand each other, they love each other, theyre practically reading the other’s mind, and theyre perfectly in tune. rather than putting on masks to hide from each other, they wear one together to hide from the world--but, they think, that’s probably enough.

Chapter 4: A slight hint of hope

In which the future looks brighter than you may think

*Your POV*

I found myself writing down a letter to the president, technically begging him to let monsters be truly free. Again. I was starting to ask myself why I even try. Again. This the seventeenth letter I've written to him, and yet, he won't listen.

Then I told myself that I shouldn't be thinking like this. That a lot of monsters had their hope on me, therefore, I should try harder.

I smiled, knowing that this was my inner dialogue every single day. And yet, I still have it, no matter what I'm doing. This is one of the few things that amaze me these days.

It's been a while since I have met them. Maybe a month or two; maybe even more. Ever since then, we've been talking for hours in my office every single day. I kinda like it. It gives me the feeling that I'm not alone in the world.

But then again, they'll probably leave once this is over. Or maybe not. Who knows?

They all have been awfully nice to me. Nicely than a lot of humans have ever been. This is one of the thousand reasons I keep writing to the president.

Maaaaaybe I should return to my cheery self. I'm being quite serious, haven't I?

No one can blame, though. I hate to admit it, but this issue is worrying me more than I expected. At first, the case was interesting, yes, but now it's kinda overwhelming, knowing that I'm dealing with a weak point; discrimination.

I just hope I don't end up like Rosa Parks after this. But that's just me being stubborn. Again.

Before my mind could get more depressive, though, I heard someone knock the door. I mentally groaned, with the feeling that I was gonna get a shitty opinion for the trillionth time.

"Come in"

"Wow, that's for sure the sourest answer you've given me, sweetie. That's quite the record!"

A smile crept onto my face. I recognize that voice anywhere!

She slammed the fricking door open like it was some sort of drama movie (which it's exactly what her life is) and posed dramatically. She was wearing sunglasses (even if it was cloudy outside), a fancy-yet-casual blouse, and some skinny jeans. Not to mention the usual high heels that make her bigger than a fucking tree. Oh, how not to miss her?

"Hello, beautiful!" She exclaimed before kissing my cheek on a french-greeting style "You look EXHAUSTED! But, hey, at least you are wearing makeup. Now THAT'S progress!"

"Mailey, I've been wearing makeup daily ever since I got this job"

"Wait..." she paused slightly, then let out a fake gasp. "YOU HAVEN'T BEEN WEARING IT VOLUNTARILY?!"

I giggled way louder than I wanted to, but I didn't mind. Mailey's has always managed to put me in such a good mood, all thanks to her cocky attitude. I haven't seen her for months, so I just really missed her. But I probably said that already. Oh well.

"Oh, (Y/N) darling!" She clapped her hands together in such a girly and unnatural way I almost lose it "Let's go to a café! I don't want to chat in such a sad and old place!"

"Uh, eh... you know what? A break would be great" I hesitantly answered, thinking that I just could clear my mind for a while. I actually haven't done that since I was a preteen, soooo... yeah...

"Wonderful! Let's get going! Just one thing... we will go to Starbucks!"

"Seriously?"

"You know I don't like Dunkin' Donuts, sweetheart. I don't tolerate that bitter taste you normally choose"

"And you know I don't tolerate that overwhelming sweetness you choose every time"

She took a pause and put down briefly her sunglasses, staring at me in fake shock. Oh, I know how much she hates Dunkin' Donuts, but Starbucks simply sucks!

"Well, I'll be the one paying, so I think it's fair" she teasingly added with a huge, goofy grin on her face.

Shit, she got me.

...

Oh well.

"Hmm. Guess you won this time, huh?" I answered, throwing my arms in defeat. She made a victory pose, and I silently giggled. I shouldn't be feeling this lonely since monsters visited today, right?

Well, guess what.

They didn't.

But I'm not complaining since I'm the one who told them not to come for today, arguing that they should take a break from leaving and coming. Some of them didn't think twice and accepted, which made me feel kinda bad. How stubborn have I been to actually keep them coming so often without a chance to take a breath?

...and that's why I also needed a break. Because I was about to become a fucking mess. Leave the tears for the night, (Y/N).

And so I left. Good thing I was doing extra hours, or else, I would have been crying after some time being all alone.

Sometimes I wonder if I can call myself a proper 20 years old adult. I mean, I'm quite mature at some things, but in others, I almost feel like I'm a 5 years old brat.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Frisk's POV*

It feels kinda weird not meeting (Y/N) today. Sure, I was getting exhausted of the daily routine, but know... I feel like something's missing. And that something is (Y/N).

We actually haven't been doing much in this little house, since we are really crowded in here. Yes, it has two floors, but we are more than 10 people, and it's starting to get on my nerves. Not even the orphanage felt this crowded.

But, hey, at least I'm with my friends and family and not with some random kids pushing each other. I think this is pretty much ok, I guess.

Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door. Excited, I quickly ran to get it, and a smile flashed on my face. Emily, the daughter of the kind owners, has come for her weekly visit. Even Sans seemed eager to receive her, noticing his white pinpricks turn brighter.

She's 10 years old, so her voice is quite soft and pretty. I think she's on her school's choir and musical group, which it's totally cool. She has golden, twirly hair that gets not too long below her shoulders, and tends to wear a lot of dresses.

We were friends in the orphanage, so I know a thing or two more than the monsters do.

"Hi, kind creatures!" she chirped happily, making all of us grin wider. We returned the greeting quickly, which just made her giggle.

"I brought some gifts for you!" she added, clearly excited. I couldn't help myself, so I ended up drawing a small smile upon my lips. I'm always happy with her. She's just too kind and innocent, like the cinnamon roll Papyrus. I really missed her when I went on my trip to the Underground.

We all gathered in a circle, and watch with awe the food she brought us.

"Finally something new!" Undyne exclaimed with joy, hugging the little girl.

She also brought action figures for Papyrus, some clothes for all of us, some beautiful earrings to Toriel, and a book for Sans. Oh, so that's why he was eager, huh? I just remembered that she gives Sans a book every week, which he normally ends in the night after her visit. Then he just keeps rereading it until Emily comes again. It's fun to see him stress over a single book, though. One day he almost broke down when he found out that it was an open ending. Or, how he calls them, a 'fuck-the-reader's-mind-and-soul' ending.

"thanks, kid" he muttered, trying to hide his excitement and failing miserably. I smirked quietly, and he shrugged it off with a shy smile. I don't get this guy; but that's fine, I guess.

She decided to stay with us for the night, clearly feeling bored at her house. I understand, though. When you live in an orphanage you are never lonely, but if they suddenly adopt you with no other kids, it feels weird.

And so, we ended up planning the perfect game for a sleepover: pillow fighting. I was teaming up with Flowey (I forced him to play) and Emily. The other team was formed by Papyrus, Undyne, and Sans... who was just lazily resting on a pillow. And, naturally, Papyrus groaned when he noticed.

"BROTHER! GET UP, YOU LAZYBONES, AND HELP US BUILD A FORT! I DON'T PRETEND TO LOSE ONLY FOR YOUR LAZINESS!"

"sorry, bro. guess my laziness-"

"SANS"

"-rattled your bones"

"SAAAAAAAAAAAANS!!!!!!"

When I was about to protest, Asgore's cellphone started to ring.

And before he took it, I saw the ID caller...

And it was (Y/N)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Your POV*

I was listening to Mailey's plans for the future. Apparently, her boyfriend has an apartment in San Diego, and she wants to go with him. She says that her future is better in there and blah blah blah. I certainly don't think that's the reason she wants to go, but hey, I can't judge.

I slowly took a sip from my coffee, being the bitterest I could find. And, somehow, it was still sweet. Goddamnit.

If Mailey goes away, then... my life will be pretty much the same, actually. Yes, I will miss her, but we are not best friends and we didn't see each other frequently in the past. Still, I will have fewer people to casually tell my secrets and some of my problems. Now I have less than half of the friends I had in high school. Great.

But, well, she has changed. A lot. Yes, she still makes me laugh with her self-security, but it's not the same. She has lost that... simpleness she had. Now she posts on Instagram every day, she wants to be an influencer, and hell, she even put herself some pink strips on her blonde hair. Maybe I miss seeing that dorky part of her. She's just, well... different. I shouldn't be thinking like that, but it's true.

I was about to hide my face so Mailey couldn't take a picture of me when I received a call. Wow, no one can have a break these days, right?

The number wasn't part of my contacts, which was weird, but I decided to answer anyway. Not for being a good person, but as an excuse to calm Mailey the fuck down.

"Hello, this is (Y/N) (L/N). How can I help you?"

"Hello, (Y/N)... may I have a word with you?" a rough and familiar voice answered, which immediately put me nervous. Who is this guy?

"...I'm sorry sir, but could you specify who are you? We may have talked before, but I just can't remem-"

"Of course we have talked, miss (Y/N)" he interrupted, and I silently gulped "Actually, you wanted to discuss something with me, isn't that right?"

No way-

"I'm the president, miss (L/N). You have caught my interest with your detailed arguments, saying that monsters deserve a chance to grow in society. Or did I just called the wrong person?"

I stood there in shock for a few seconds, then made my way out of Starbucks to hear better. Keep your cool, (Y/N), and everything will be alright.

"You are totally right, Mr. President. I'm the one who sent those letters."

"Great. Now, let's discuss a few things, ok?"

"Of course sir".

I listened carefully, searching for any hints of hatred or irony in his voice. Instead, I just heard interest in the way he mentioned my arguments.

Eventually, we gave each other a quick-yet-formal goodbye, and I immediately called Asgore.

This is a serious business.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Asgore's POV*

My mind was thinking the worst when I saw (Y/N)'s ID on my phone. I saw that others were worried, too. Could this be the end? Are we going back to the Underground, after all those years of waiting?

I picked up reluctantly, watching the expectant reaction of my wi- Toriel, the expectant reaction of Toriel.

"Oh, hello (Y/N)!" I exclaimed, trying to keep my hopes high enough for everyone. "How has been your day?"

"It's been fine, thank you. How has been yours?" She bluntly answered, sounding like she was... distant.

Let's just hope it isn't what I'm thinking.

"It's been good, (Y/N). Anyways, how can I help you, young one?"

She didn't answer immediately. Actually, she remained still for a long time. The only thing I could hear was her breathing, and my positive smile was turning into a nervous one.

"Asgore, we have something we need to discuss"

And my smile dropped.

A Different Way Home, Ch 1 (FMA, Roy/Ed)

Title: A Different Way Home

Author: TheJovianMute

Rating: Explicit (in later chapters, this first one's pretty mild)

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist (any, since it's AU)

Pairing: Ed Elric/Roy Mustang

Tags: Alternate Universe, Prostitution, Hooker Roy, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Rape, Violence, PTSD, Eventual Happy Ending

Summary:  Roy's standing on a freezing street corner, his body for sale and his pride long-since-gone, when the boy in the red coat approaches him.  

Author's Notes:

A long while ago, in a brief burst of confidence, I posted my first fic.  Since then my confidence tanked, and I haven't managed to convince myself to do it again.  Then Ed and Roy Week popped up on my dash, and I remembered I'd started a RoyEd fic which would pretty much fit the bill.  So I pushed myself to finish the first chapter properly, and here I am, posting it with an hour to spare - go me!  I'm determined to keep going with this one - I'm not a fast writer, but I'll get there eventually.

This is set in a modern-day, alchemy-less Amestria.  Roy's a little more broken than the one we know, and has fallen a lot further down.  I've come across a few hooker-Ed fics but haven't yet found one with Roy on that side of the fence, so decided to flip the tables.  There's some dark stuff in later chapters, but the payoff will hopefully be worth it - hurt/comfort is pretty much my favourite thing <3

Chapter 1:

Roy shivers in the freezing night air, the chill of the bricks he's leaning against seeping through the worn cotton of his t-shirt.  He'd kill for a jacket, but he gets more attention without it; the t-shirt a size too small to show off the lines of his body.  He no longer has the definition he once did, knows he's skirting the edge between slender and 'too thin' these days, but that seems to appeal to a certain sort of customer.

Not that he's having much luck tonight. He's been standing on this frigid corner for half an hour already without a hint of interest.  Business is always slow on a Monday night, he knows, but hopefully it will pick up - not only does he need the money, but even just five or ten minutes in a heated car would give him a chance to warm up a little.  He rubs his hands together, trying to create a little heat with the friction.  It's times like this that he almost - almost - misses the desert heat.

Roy's scanning for potential marks when he catches sight of the figure in red walking his way.  He squints a little to try and make out more detail; his vision is particularly poor at night, faces little more than shadowed blurs until they get within a couple of feet and he can make out actual features.  The figure's small, though, and has what he assumes is a spill of long golden hair over one shoulder.  Roy spares a moment to wonder whether the girl knows what kind of risk she's taking, walking through this part of the city alone at night.  It's none of his business, of course - and considering where he's ended up it'd be a little hypocritical for him to be giving advice on poor life choices.  The girl slides from his thoughts quickly enough as he goes back to looking out for tricks, occasionally stamping his feet, trying to restore circulation to his icy toes.

But the figure in red stops in front of him instead of continuing on past, and - despite what is indeed a long blond ponytail - the flat chest and angled jawline he can finally make out reveal the error in his assumption: this isn't a girl at all, it's a teenaged boy.  The boy has his hands shoved into his pockets, feet planted solidly, his expression a mix of curiosity, determination and defiance as he stares at Roy intently.

"Can I help you?"  Roy asks mildly.  

The boy's eyes are a bright, almost luminescent amber beneath the sodium glow of the streetlights, matching the fall of golden hair.  It's a striking look, especially paired with the black pants and shirt, topped by the blood-red coat.

The kid continues to stare at him, and Roy is just about to let loose a sarcastic comment when the kid abruptly finds his tongue, blurting:  "How much?"  The words seem to startle the boy as much as they startle Roy, if his mortified expression is anything to go by.

Roy raises an eyebrow, and then makes a show of looking the boy up and down.  He's not the best judge of age, but he doubts this guy is older than fifteen or sixteen.  "I don't fuck kids," he says bluntly.  The boy is cute, but even if underage was his thing - which it isn't - he wouldn't risk that kind of pick-up out in the open like this.

The boy's expression darkens, his face flushing with a sudden anger, but he makes a visible attempt to rein himself in before replying.  "I'm not a kid."

Roy raises both eyebrows this time in blatant disbelief.  

The kid scowls at him.  "I'm eighteen.  I'm a goddamn university student."    

It's possible, Roy muses, looking the guy over again.  He has something of an ageless face himself, able to pass for twenty as easily as thirty - another thing that draws his clientele to him.  The kid is short, only a scant inch or two above the five foot mark, but his build is solid enough, his shoulders square.

Still, it's better to be paranoid than arrested.  "ID?"  Roy asks.  

"Seriously!?"  The kid explodes, muttering dire invectives under his breath.  "I'm being IDed by a hooker?  What the fuck is my life?"

"You're welcome to try a hooker with a more flexible moral code if you so desire," Roy says, gesturing further down the street to where he knows some of the other guys work this time of night.  There's a small group of them that band together for protection, but Roy's always been a loner.  

The boy glances in the direction Roy indicates, but quickly shakes his head. "No.  No, I want you."  His cheeks flush pink with embarrassment as he says it, but his mouth presses into a determined line, as if daring Roy to doubt his resolve.

And that is interesting.  Roy wonders what exactly it is about him that's drawn this particular kid.  He knows that his mixed-race features are a draw for some men: the raven hair and dark eyes of his mother, combined with the pale Amestrian skin of his father.  But generally it's the bigger guys that go for the Xingese look; the ones who get off on having someone smaller and lighter to manhandle and dominate.  It's not something Roy particularly enjoys, but he's not in a position to turn down anyone willing to pay for his time.

Speaking of which.  The kid is reaching into his pocket now, still scowling, pulling out his wallet and flipping it open, sliding out a small rectangle of plastic.  He holds it up for Roy to inspect with a defiant expression.  It's unexpectedly appealing, the stubborn little V between his brows, the determined jut of his jaw.  So many of the men he encounters are jaded and emotionally numb, using him to try desperately to feel something, that this kid's spirit burns magnesium-bright in comparison.

Roy looks down at the card, making out the colour and layout of a local driver's licence, but in the dim lighting he hasn't got a hope of reading the text, and he curses his deficient vision yet again.  Still, it makes little sense for the kid to show him a licence which proves him to be under-age, so odds are it backs up his claim.  It could be a fake, of course, but these days the fakes are so good he probably couldn't make out the difference even if he could see.  

"All right," Roy allows, deciding to go with it for now.  

The kid puts the card back in his wallet and shoves it back in his pocket with apparent satisfaction.  "So, how much?"  He asks, repeating his original question.

Roy is somewhat nonplussed by the kid's stubborn determination.  The guy's gorgeous and seems personable enough, if a little forthright, and Roy wonders what the hell he's doing picking up a hooker.  The kid could walk into any gay bar or club and would draw men like flies to honey -

Roy knows exactly how popular young-looking twinks are with the gay crowd.  

Still, it's not Roy's place to question the motivations of his clients, he's just here to do his job and get paid.

"Four thousand cenz for a hand, six for my mouth, ten if you want to fuck me.  I don't fuck without protection, and anything kinky costs extra."  The spiel is rote by now, and Roy rattles it off without even an internal flinch - unlike his first few days on the job, when every crude word had bruised his sense of self to the core.

The kid considers this for a moment.  "What about if I want you to, uh, fuck me?"

Roy manages to keep his expression bland despite the unexpectedness of the question.  It's not something he's been asked for before - which is fortunate, because he's not the sort who can get an erection on command.  He's not sure he could get into it enough to be able to fuck a client; he can't recall many previous tricks who have genuinely turned him on.  And it's been a long time - longer than he wants to think about - since he last had sex because he wanted to.

His first instinct is to reject the request, tell the kid that that particular activity isn't on the menu, but something makes him hesitate.  There's a long-buried part of him that's flickering to life, tentative embers glowing faintly in the darkness.  The kid is gorgeous, there's no denying that, but Roy's had good-looking customers before and looks have never been enough to jump-start his engine alone.  It's a combination of everything about this particular kid - his earnest eyes, his stubborn, determined mouth, and the bright, aggressive flare of life inside of him - that draws Roy like a moth to a flame.    

He thinks, to his surprise, that maybe it's something he could do with this kid.  With him, rather than to him.  It's a dangerous way to think - he learnt a long time ago that trust and hope in other people only ever leads to pain - and moths are all-too-often consumed by the flames they seek.  But still, that faint, tentative flicker of desire is there inside of him, and he thinks that perhaps it could be fanned into flames of genuine - and perhaps mutual - want.

"Fucking's ten thousand, either way," he says, hoping it comes out more casually than he feels.

The boy nods acknowledgement, seemingly unaware of Roy's inner turmoil.  "So, where do you, uh… usually go, to do… it?"  He asks, wincing at the awkwardness of the words.

"Car or hotel, generally," Roy answers, resisting the way his mouth wants to curl into a smile.  The kid's naivety is amusing, but Roy can't quite help finding it adorable as well.  

"Would it be all right to go to my place?"

Roy shrugs.  "If you'd prefer.  It doesn't make any difference to me."  He usually ends up in cars or hotel rooms because his clients don't want a whore sullying their their own beds - even if they don't have wives or girlfriends to hide him from.  But Roy has no issue with the idea itself - a home is likely to mean heating, and a reasonably comfortable bed.  

The kid hesitates, and then asks boldly:  "What about if I wanted you to stay all night?"

"The entire night?"  Roy raises an eyebrow, and the kid nods confirmation.  

On a slow night he makes a couple of hundred.  On a good night, he can take home a hundred thousand, although those are the nights he ends up crawling into bed at dawn, feeling scoured and hollow and used.  But to be out of the cold for the entire evening is pretty appealing; tempting enough for him to apply a discount on what he'd otherwise be tempted to charge.  

"Sixty thousand," Roy says.  "Payment up front."  

Roy wonders whether the price will be enough to scare the kid off.  He hardly looks like the sort who has hundreds to burn on hookers whenever he feels like it.  Nothing about him indicates wealth: his boots are worn and scuffed and the tears in his canvas satchel have obviously been mended by hand.  Nothing he's wearing is designer or labelled.  He looks like any other university student, with enough cash to scrape by, even if the last few meals each month are instant noodles.

But the kid doesn't so much as wince, nodding as if the amount is entirely reasonable.

"All right, then," the kid says with satisfaction.  "It's a deal."

"Agreed."

There is silence for a few moments as the kid's expression transforms into something uncomfortable, his gaze sliding off to the side and his weight shifting from one foot to the other.  It's the sort of awkwardness he usually sees when somebody is working themselves up to ask for something particularly kinky or degrading. Roy has a moment to start worrying about what exactly the boy wants to do to him, before the kid seems to come to some kind of conclusion, raises his chin defiantly, and pulls the glove off his right hand to reveal a fairly high-tech prosthesis.

"Will this be a problem?"  The kid asks, holding the hand out towards Roy and curling each of the metal fingers closed and then open again.  With his other hand in a fist, he reaches down to knock on his left thigh, which echoes hollowly.  "Leg, too."

And that is not at all what Roy expected; he actually has to work to keep the surprise from his expression this time.  The boy walks and moves so naturally that Roy would never have suspected two of his limbs weren't natural if he hadn't been told. The mechanics and joints visible in the flexing right hand are more advanced than anything he's seen before, and the boy's obviously had them long enough to make controlling them second nature.

Still, he imagines that two missing limbs could potentially make things awkward when it comes to intimate relations, and for the first time he has some inkling of why the kid is approaching him rather than going out to a club to pick up.  He can only imagine the kinds of reactions the kid might receive from random hook-ups, especially in the gay scene, which tends towards the worship of bodily perfection.  

But Roy has no issues with damaged bodies, not after the kinds of physical trauma he's seen, and the damage inflicted upon his own.  If anything, he finds himself feeling an odd kind of brotherhood with this boy and his imperfect body, and he has a sudden desire to show the boy that desirability has nothing to do with being physically whole or perfect.  Maybe that's something he'll get a chance to do tonight.

"They're not a problem for me," Roy says, letting his expression speak his sincerity.

The kid's discomfort evaporates, his grin blooming fierce and radiant.  "Great!"  He declares.  "Let's do it!"

Roy lets himself smile this time - the boy's awkward enthusiasm is ridiculously endearing.

The kid winces as he twigs to the accidental double entendre, but he recovers quickly and holds out his hand.  "Oh, hey - I'm Ed."

Yet another surprise - most of his tricks remain deliberately anonymous, and those who give him a name use obvious aliases.  Roy never asks, and never offers his own in return.  But he has no doubt that Ed has just handed him his actual given name without a second thought, and something in Roy warms at this small display of openness and trust.  It also compels him to offer the same in return, despite his better judgement urging him to remain safely behind the shield of anonymity.   

"Roy."  The name sounds almost foreign to himself, it's so rare that he has reason to use it these days.

Roy reaches to shake the outstretched hand, realising at the last moment that he's reached out with his right while the kid's offered his left.  There's an awkward moment where he's forced to switch hands before grasping the one offered.  For a moment he just assumes the kid must be left-handed, and then it hits him - of course the kid prefers to shake with his natural hand rather than the prosthesis.  He wonders what other adaptations the kid's had to make to fit into a two-handed world.

The kid - Ed - doesn't seem ruffled by the moment of awkwardness, his grip firm and sure.  Roy doesn't think he's ever shaken the hand of a trick, either; apparently it's to be a day of firsts.  So far Ed isn't so much bending the rules of convention as shattering them, and Roy's usual ability to keep himself at a distance along with them.  He has to remind himself that no matter how friendly and sincere the kid is, he's still just a client.  It's one night's work, and then he'll probably never see the kid again.  

"Shall we?"  Roy asks, as Ed continues to simply stand and grin at him.

"Oh! Oh, yeah, hell yeah! Let's go."  Ed gestures for Roy to follow him, and Roy obediently falls into step beside him as they continue on down the street together.

Ed has no fucking idea what he's doing.

And Al is going to kill him.

He certainly hadn't set out to hire a hooker tonight.  He'd been fed up and frustrated as he'd left campus this evening, bored of the same rut his life has been stuck in lately, sick of the same paths he's been treading and retreading day by day.  The afternoon had dragged interminably and he'd grown more and more antsy and irritable, even snapping at Al when he'd called to let Ed know he wouldn't be home that night.  By the time he'd shoved his books into his satchel at the end of the last lecture, he knew he had to do something to try and break himself out of the petulant, pigheaded mood he'd sunk into.  He'd decided to start with something simple and take a different route home - he'd figured that maybe he'd stumble across a new take-away place, or a comic book shop he hadn't come across before.  

Instead, he'd found Roy.

The guy had caught his attention from a distance: a slender figure with his back temptingly arched, shoulders pressed against the bricks behind him, one knee bent with his foot flat on the wall.  He was only wearing a t-shirt and jeans, and Ed shivered sympathetically - the guy must be freezing his ass off.  All the same, the t-shirt did offer a nice view of his flat chest and belly, and the long, toned muscles of his arms.  

As he'd got closer Ed had filled in more details: straight black hair that fell to the tops of his ears, the shine of it a silver halo lit by the streetlight above, a stark contrast to the paleness of his skin.  His eyes were dark and alert, flickering to each of the evening travellers as they passed him by, assessing them intently.  He was the sort of good-looking that Ed found most attractive - sharp, lean and confident, with just a hint of danger about him.  The heat of want flared in the pit of his belly, startling him with its intensity - it was rare that Ed felt so attracted to anyone on first sight.  

It had taken Ed an embarrassingly long time to realise that the guy was a hooker.  He'd already passed several men loitering along the street who had watched him go by with the same contemplative gaze, but he hadn't really thought anything of it.  It wasn't until he found himself in front of the guy that all the pieces fell into place.  A few moments later he realised he was standing there staring like an imbecile, and was receiving an assessing look in return.  

"Can I help you?"  The guy had asked in a rich, smooth tenor.  He was well-spoken, his accent precise and refined - not what Ed had expected from a street worker, and for a few moments he was taken aback.

And then, without any actual input from his brain, he'd blurted: "How much?"

Ed was caught somewhere between horrified and aghast at his own impulsiveness.  Of all the stupid, impetuous things he'd ever done, this had to rank up there with the best of them.   What the hell was he thinking?  Had his dick somehow taken total control of his brain?  He'd never even had sex before, much less with a guy, and now he was suddenly deciding to proposition a gay hooker?

But the desire was still there, bright and hot and growing as he stood transfixed by the guy's dark, astute gaze.  Ed wanted him, wanted to feel the warmth of his mouth and solidness of his body against Ed's own.  So why the hell shouldn't he hire a hooker, if he wanted?  It wasn't a crime.  It wouldn't hurt anybody.  It's what the guy did for a living - there shouldn't be any shame in it, for either of them.  Ed had to lose his virginity some time, so he might as well do it in a way that let him call the shots.

And he had the money, sitting in the bank account he and Al jointly shared.  The legacy of their absent father, he and Al had sworn never to resort to it out of need - and they'd fucking stuck to it, supported themselves without any help from the asshole's pity cash.  But that meant the money was still just sitting there, and Ed felt a satisfying sense of pleasure at the thought of how displeased the bastard would be to know his son was contemplating using it to hire a gay hooker.

Meanwhile, said hooker was giving him the once over - and calling him a goddamn fucking kid.  Well, if Ed hadn't been resolved to go through with this before, he certainly was now.  If there was one thing he was good at, it was pushing back against assholes who thought he was too young to do something.  He was old enough to drink, drive, and hire a goddamn hooker if he wanted, and he'd damn well prove it if he had to, despite the indignity of being carded by a sex worker.

Once they'd sorted the details, Ed had a moment of sobering realisation - having sex with this guy was going to mean getting naked.  Which - yes, ok - should have been obvious from the outset, but forward thinking had never been Ed's strong suit.  He had no idea how the guy was going to react to his prostheses.  It wasn't like he was ashamed of his artificial limbs; they were hella useful, and he'd have a much fucking harder time managing without them.  But the looks and comments and questions got damn tiresome after a while, so he typically went gloved simply to avoid the hassle.  It wasn't something he'd could avoid if he was going to fuck this guy, though, and he had no idea how the guy was going to react to a double amputee.  

But Ed wasn't a coward, and he wasn't going to let fear get in the way of something he wanted.  He took a deep breath, lifted his head, and pulled off the glove - putting it all out there for the guy to see, even as he braced for the reaction.  

But none of the expressions he expected - distaste, awkwardness, or worst of all, pity - materialised.  The guy looked thoughtful for a moment, and then met his gaze evenly and said it wasn't a problem.  Ed wasn't always the best at reading people, but he knew a genuine reaction when he saw one.  The guy had seen his disability, acknowledged it, and accepted it - without any kind of judgement.

That's when Ed realised that he was kinda gone on the guy.  It was entirely ridiculous - it wasn't as if he really knew anything about him: they'd spent five minutes together and barely exchanged a handful of words.  But even the little he'd seen made Ed think that Roy was someone worth getting to know, and he'd found himself wanting to, just as much as he wanted to fuck the guy.

It wasn't a smart thing to want, not from a hooker he was paying to spend the night with and then would probably never see again. He tried to resign himself to the fact that Roy would be gone come morning - all they'd ever have, most likely, would be this one too-short night.

But then again, he thought, his irrepressible optimism twisting it back around - they had this night.  Even if they never had anything beyond tonight, he was still going to be able to talk to Roy, touch him, connect their bodies in the closest way possible and get to know him as well as anyone could in a span of only hours.  This night was his and he wasn't going to squander it, or waste time wishing it was something more than what it was.  

He was going to spend the night with Roy, and that was pretty fucking awesome, no matter what happened afterwards.  

"Shall we?"  Roy asks, breaking him from his reverie, and they set off down the street together.

So that's how Ed finds himself escorting a hooker back to his apartment one freezing Monday evening.  It might not be the most well-thought-out plan he's embarked on, but he doesn't think he's going to regret it. He darts a glance at Roy, and finds Roy looking back at him - Ed flushes with nervous embarrassment and Roy gives him a knowing smirk that gets him flushing for an entirely different reason.  Ed's not sure how even just the curve of Roy's lips can be so damn sexy.

Even if Al does kill him, Ed thinks this might be worth it.

Sometimes We Both Lose Our Minds (to find the better road)- Olicity Fic

Pairing: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak

Rating: T Words: 3400 Summary: Returning back to his old life in Starling City, Oliver had anticipated and planned for many things. Carrying out the mission his father had bestowed on him, falling back into his old irresponsible persona, hiding his true self from his family and friends, and protecting them at all costs. The one thing he hadn’t planned on was gaining 2 new family members, his stepfather Walter Steele and Felicity Smoak, his childhood friend, now also his stepsister. Regardless of the changes and surprises, he knows he has to become someone… something else to make those on his father’s List pay for their crimes.

Chapter Summary: Felicity attends Oliver’s Welcome Home party and the two finally have a chance to catch up. A/N: Hiii... So it’s been super long since I posted the first chapter and then left you all hanging. I feel so terrible about it, but the past 2 semesters have been crazy hectic. But hopefully this chapter partially makes up for it. Now that I’m off, I hope to have a more consistent update schedule. I’m so excited about this verse and have so many ideas I want to share, so I hope you’ll stick around.

Thanks a lot to @nvwhovian who's been fielding all my crazy and paranoia as I worked up to posting this chapter. And to her and @beinmyheart for editing this chapter!! As mentioned in the summary, Oliver and Felicity are kinda step-siblings, if that is a thing that you’re not comfortable with, you should back out now. If you’re staying and giving it a try anyway, thank you so much and I hope you enjoy this verse and journey. If anyone would be interested in sending prompts for this verse or being tagged in updates, please drop me a line. 

Title is from The Poison by The All-American Rejects and the chapter title is from Never Let Me Go by Florence & the machine

You can also read the chapter on AO3 or other installments

Reflections still look the same to me (as before I went under)

She’s standing at the bar at Oliver’s Welcome Home Bash waiting for the barkeep to notice and maybe serve her. Tommy needs to hire better bartenders for his parties, what is the point of free-flowing alcohol if you’re not even served? That makes her sound like she’s an alcoholic or something, she’s not for the record. It’s just that being sober around so many drunk people is giving her a headache, and maybe she just needs a drink to take the edge off.

There’s been way too many changes and surprises over the last few days. Not that they’ve been bad ones per se, they’re actually good. Happy even. Oliver is alive. That is amazing, and it makes so many people she cares about incredibly happy, including her. But changes need adjustments and that is pretty stressful. She’s just glad she isn’t living in the Queen Mansion. In the past few years she’s started to feel weird and out of place there, being in that house makes her jittery. With Oliver suddenly back, there’s a tension that hangs over the entire household that she would rather avoid. And with her propensity to babble about inappropriate things, she would probably just end up making things even more awkward.

Then there’s also the fact that she and Oliver are now bound by family… or something. For all intents and purposes, Oliver is her step-brother now. Which is incomprehensible to her. She knew this would be the case since her dad married Moira, she’d even readily accepted Thea as her new step-sister. But it was different when thinking about Oliver. All these years, it had been a vague idea, a ‘what if’ hinging on Oliver being alive. But now he is alive and this new relation between them is making things all messy in her head. Since she had met him, he’d always been her friend; she’d never really thought of him as a brotherly figure. For a brief period of time, she’d even had a tiny crush on him- having the attention of two of the most notorious heartbreakers in Starling City will do that to a girl. She’d grown out of it, obviously, but that doesn’t mean it lessens the complication in any way.

A sudden din falls over the crowd and she looks up to see that Oliver’s entrance has commanded their attention. She observes him as Tommy introduces him and he raises a ridiculous toast to tequila (of all things). She watches as he feeds the public what they want, having them eating out of his palm, perfectly playing up the devil-may-care attitude Ollie Queen was known for. She wonders if he’s putting up a front, playing up what he thinks people want to see, even after he’s spent five years isolated. Or if he’s actually not changed a bit. If it’s the former, he’s still not able to completely hide the things he doesn’t want others to see. It’s given away more by what’s missing than what is there. Those expressive blue eyes, that could make anyone he paid attention to feel like the centre of the universe, are vacant now- as though they’ve been purposely kept so. She’s sure the others have noticed too, but they’re so distracted by acting as if no time has passed at all, that they just accept his unbothered act and overall okay-ness. It’s not that she wants him to be damaged or have difficulty coping but it just seems off to her. You don’t spend five years isolated from civilization, without it leaving some mark or changing you in some way. She feels they need to be prepared for it, prepared to help Oliver in whatever way they can, instead of just ignoring it till it goes away. But then again, she’s never quite settled into the elite’s mentality of brushing things under the carpet, she’s not made for hiding from the truth.

That’s not the only thing she has noticed either. Because she’s definitely not missed that delicious looking scruff or the shorter hair which looks so much better than the weird serial killer hair he had before. And don’t even get her started on the way his suit highlights his very wide and muscular shoulders and biceps. He was cute before but now he’s devastatingly handsome and this is why she’s keeping her distance. She’s already practically drooling over him, how is she supposed to conduct a conversation with him where they address their new status as family.

She watches as his eyes scan through the room and the crowd, catching on hers with some surprise. She wonders why. Sure she doesn’t really fit in with this crowd consisting of mainly fangirls, but she’s here to support her close friends. She doesn’t doubt her connection with Tommy, they’ve become closer and built that friendship back up since she returned home. Where Oliver is concerned though, she’s unsure about what kind of reception she would get. They’d definitely drifted apart a bit, for a couple of years before he left on that fateful trip, but it seemed natural given that the boys were venturing out to various colleges while she’d been focused on graduating early from high school and getting into MIT. But they’d kept in touch regularly enough that she hadn’t ever thought it would affect their long-term friendship. Five years, on the other hand, was a whole different can of worms. Especially given that Oliver didn’t seem all too thrilled with welcoming her dad, and probably by extension her, into the family. She breaks their eye contact then, the thought that Oliver may refuse their friendship is painful and she isn’t ready to expose that that vulnerability to anyone.

As she cranes her head looking for someone who can fix her a drink, she hears a voice close to her ear, “Hi Felicity, need me to buy you a drink?” She startles, turning around to come eye to chest level with Oliver himself.

“Oliver,” and her voice comes out sounding breathy, she needs to make it stop sounding like that. It’s just Oliver, and he’s teasing her just like he would years ago when they would talk and banter and be uncomplicated friends. No big deal. She looks up to meet his eyes, seeing a hint of amusement and fondness that gets past the shadows in them. “Haha, I can buy myself a drink now, with my real ID too. Also it’s an open bar.”

His lips lift into a small smile, minuscule really in comparison to the toothy dimpled smiles and laughter she’s seen on him, but there all the same. More than that though, it lightens his eyes and manages to put some of her uncertainties to rest, which makes it all the better. “Guess you don’t need me and Tommy to supply you with fake IDs anymore. Shame, I’d got a new set I was gonna gift you for getting through finals. Really creative names too.” She narrows her eyes at him and he chuckles, his eyes and voice softening even more, “it’s good to see you again Felicity.” He extends his arms a little, it’s such an awkward gesture but very clear in its intention. So she pushes herself into him without hesitation, wrapping her arms around his neck. His arms tighten around her back and she melts into him, nostalgia and an incredible amount of joy rushing into her as she revels in the feeling of him being alive and home.

“It’s so good to have you back Oliver. I’ve missed you a lot,” she mumbles into his neck.

She’s not even sure if he heard her but then he murmurs back, “me too.”

She separates from him then, looking anywhere but at him. She feels self-conscious like they’ve already lingered a little too long for a hug between friends, even long lost ones. His heavy gaze doesn’t help all that much either. Then she remembers the events of this morning and her concern can’t be contained. “Are you okay? My dad told me about the kidnapping.”

“I’m alright, really. Not even a scratch, we were found in time, I guess,” his response sounds so practiced, it immediately draws her curiosity but before she can say or ask anything about it, he continues, “so I guess a ‘welcome to the family’ is in order?” And really? That’s what he wants to break the tension with?

His tone sets her on edge too, it sounds pleasant enough and he’s delivering it with a perfectly charming smile, but there’s something cutting about it. She looks at him sharply, the indignation from last night, at his rude remark to her dad during the family dinner, returning. Realizing his mother was remarried was probably a shock, no one would really want to think about how their family may have moved on in their absence. And obviously Moira’s misguided attempt to ease Oliver into the situation by hiding the truth about her new marriage didn’t help much either. But he was downright rude to her father and she won’t stand for that.

“It would seem so. Though my dad is really the one it should be directed to. And try being a little more genuine that time?”

As soon as she says it she knows she hit the mark but not in a good way, he looks stung by her snarkiness. And really she didn’t mean to be sassy or nasty about it but she’s also not interested in pulling punches on the matter. Her father means the world to her and Oliver can be shocked at the news, find it difficult to digest and adjust but he cannot disrespect her dad. Nonetheless she softens her tone as she says, “You're not being very fair to him.”

“Felicity,” he begins, “it’s my mom and also Thea… they’re too important and I wasn’t prepared. I’m still not. I didn’t expect…” he trails off seeming to not know how to continue.

“Didn’t expect is probably an understatement,” she scoffs, trying to lighten the moment. She gets where he's coming from, they’re both just trying to protect their respective parents.

“Oliver, I understand,” she continues and then modifies, “kind of, some of it, because your experience has been very different and I can’t know everything you’ve been through. But I do understand a certain aspect of it. Seeing your mom with someone new, seeing her move on, that was probably not the easiest pill to swallow. I felt that too,” She tries to hide how she still gets a little choked up thinking about her adoptive mother, “even though it’s been years since Alicia passed away.”

She meets his sharp gaze again to make sure that she’s not completely messing all of this up. He looks a bit more receptive to what she’s saying, so she takes it as a win and continues with as much earnestness as she can, “But something between my dad and Moira just clicked. They helped each other through their pain and they love each other so much. He’s good to her Oliver, to both her and Thea. He loves them so much. And Moira, she makes him happy, happy in a way that I didn’t think I’d see him again. You just need to give him a chance.”

All of it seems to hit him hard, but he doesn’t look away from her. He nods his head with a “I’ll try.” Not exactly what she was hoping for but an immediate resolution does seem unrealistic. She’s made her point though and he heard her out. That’s the best she can do right now. He seems to be studying her as intently as she is studying him, some of it feels awfully calculating even though he’s trying to hide it behind nonchalance.

Suddenly she feels a body bumping into her, causing her to lose her balance and stumble right into Oliver. And woah, she completely forgot where they were. This was so not an appropriate place to have such a serious and private conversation. Oliver is holding onto her elbows and her hands are pressed onto his chest from where she tried to catch herself. A very firm chest that feels ridiculously good under her hands and boy does she need to back out of his personal space. Were they really standing that close throughout their conversation?

She's just starting to back away when Tommy makes his appearance. From the look on his face, he’s apparently got some interesting ideas to get himself and Oliver in trouble running through his mind, and thankfully doesn’t notice the odd tension hanging over her and Oliver. His first sentence just proves that, “There you are! Now by my rough estimate you have not had sex in 1,839 days”

She wrinkles her nose as she looks from Tommy to Oliver and back to Tommy, “I don’t think I needed that information. And did you actually calculate that?”

“Felicity!!” He exclaims, pulling her into a tight hug as if he hadn’t just seen her last night. “Well, no wonder you ran off, I would prefer her company over mine too,” he directs to Oliver as he winks at her. “Of course I calculated it. And I needed to get that number out before I forgot because that is a loooong time. This poor guy had a dry spell of a lifetime, haven’t you buddy? But we’re going to remedy that and as your wingman, I highly recommend Carmen Golden,” with that he turns Oliver by the shoulders to face another large crowd of women.

Oliver looks understandably confused as he asks, “Which one is she?” with a tinge of amusement in his voice like he’s just humoring Tommy.

“The one who looks like the chick from Twilight,” Tommy replies very promptly.

“What's Twilight?”

“You're so better off not knowing.” The grimace on Tommy’s face and the way he winces, immediately makes her laugh. He really would know, considering he’d been forced to watch all four parts multiple times, including braving premieres, long lines and high-pitched tweens. She’d like to say she doesn’t fold as easily as Tommy does when it comes to Thea, but really that would be such a lie.

Speaking of whom, she spots Thea and a couple of her “friends”, her good mood vanishing almost instantly. The guy Thea is speaking to may be a new one, but it doesn’t mean that Felicity isn’t aware exactly who he is, or rather what he’s able to supply. She must’ve shown some kind of reaction because she feels both Oliver and Tommy glance at her and then follow her gaze right to Thea. Where she is now exchanging her money for drugs, in what she seriously hopes Thea doesn’t consider an inconspicuous manner. Because she’s being quite obvious. Oliver’s focus just seems to narrow down onto Thea and he barely excuses himself before he’s off. Felicity meets Tommy’s eyes, and he seems to share her thoughts that this situation is not going to go down well at all. Beneath it though, lurks a deep regret and guilt that mirrors hers. The sense of failure that they couldn’t prevent or pull Thea back from this path. That at all of fifteen she’d felt so alone in the world that she’d gotten hooked onto drugs and partying as an escape. She also sees the question in his eyes, if they should interrupt and try to diffuse the situation before it gets bad. She knows though that if anyone has to insert themselves between the siblings, it’s got to be her. Whatever trapped feeling Thea is experiencing will only get worse if she’s confronted by both Oliver and Tommy. She puts a hand on Tommy’s arm to reassure him, before she makes a beeline towards Oliver and Thea.

She quickens her footsteps as she sees Thea breaking out the attitude, when Thea gets into this kind of mood, she’s usually only one wrong word away from tipping over the edge. As she gets closer, she realizes that Oliver has managed to find that tripwire. The pain in Thea’s voice as she tells Oliver that she spent five years thinking he was dead, that the last five years are permanently within her, strike her so hard. It makes her throat tighten and stomach twist up. And she can tell from the way Oliver looks away, that it hits him much harder. Felicity curses herself for not anticipating and misjudging how Oliver’s return is going to affect Thea, for not seeing that Thea too won’t be able to just brush the last five years away like they didn’t happen.

“I’m sorry if I turned out to be some major disappointment,” she keeps going.

But no, she’s not. And those words slip out of Felicity’s mouth, “Thea, no,” before she even realizes. It draws both the siblings’ attention to her, and to the fact that she obviously overheard most of the conversation. But her focus is on Thea, who looks like she wants to be anywhere but here. The way her mouth curls up, slightly cruelly and looking so out of place on her face, Felicity knows that she’s found her parting escape line and that it’s going to hurt. She’s not sure if it’s going to be aimed at Oliver or her, or both of them, but she braces herself for it anyway.

“Ollie, you can’t come back here and judge me, especially for being just like you. And now that we have the perfect sibling,” she gestures towards Felicity, “there’s no pressure on either of us. We’re free to screw up however we like.”

And wow, yeah that stings. She knows that her dad and Moira were pleased with her interest in the company, and that they’d pinned their hopes on her leading QC once they’d be ready to retire. Though she felt the weight of those expectations, she’s tried her best to thrive under the pressure and make them proud. She can barely admit it to herself, but part of it has been the need for validation and attention from her father, while he’d been busy with his new wife and new job, as a reminder that she won’t be forgotten. If she makes them see her, and realize her value, then maybe she won’t be left behind. She never realized that someone else could’ve picked up on it, or that it would be so effective when used against her. Thea directing her friends to “Let’s bounce,” pulls her out of her thoughts. Looking up, she notes that Thea won’t even look at her or Oliver. That more than anything, sets her in motion. If she doesn’t do something to fix this now, forgive Thea for lashing out, then it’s going to turn into a spiral of guilt and avoidance that’s going to turn into more emotional suppression and anger later. And if she can get to Thea and pull her away before she gets high, then Felicity is going to consider it a win for the night.

Oliver’s soft call of her name, makes her pause. She turns to him, his face is shuttering off but she still catches a glimpse of sorrow and an apology. “I’m going to go talk to her,” she says as she points in the vague direction Thea headed in.

She takes in a breath then, “I know you have questions and things to say, and a lot of those answers you’re going to hate. I’d say give her time, but I don’t even know if that will work to be honest.”

She rises up on her toes, holding onto Oliver’s elbow, as she places a light kiss on his cheek. He stiffens a little, obviously not expecting the contact or closeness. She doesn’t even know why she did it. She’d missed him a lot, it feels like nothing short of a miracle to get one of her closest friends back, and she needs to convey her affection and happiness to him. And really, a little cheek kiss is not so different from their previous hug, it’s what friends or step-siblings do. It just shows that they’re comfortable with each other, and that their relationship is so very platonic. And in line with those thoughts, she completely refuses to acknowledge how her lips still tingle or how her heart skipped a beat for some reason.

Tagging: @nvwhovian @beinmyheart @felicityschattycathy @callistawolf @coal000 @myhauntedblacksoul @tdgal1 @cessink @nina2406

Its hard to become a savvy traveler when you only take one family vacation a year.  This becomes even more challenging when you try something new.  Like renting an RV for a family road trip.  It takes most RVers years to figure out how to navigate the pitfalls of life on the road.  Like campground fees, full RV hookups, camper maintenance, RV memberships, boondocking or even how to pack your camper.  Let alone choosing a destination that your whole family can enjoy.   Even simply refueling your RV can be a bit confusing on your first attempt no matter how many RV gas saving tips you read.   With all the different tanks and their own doors its easy to confuse which one is the fuel tank, blackwater tank, fresh water tank or even the propane tank.  Unfortunately, I just met a lady who filled her fresh water tank with diesel fuel.  Wouldn’t want to be her husband right now. Might have to talk to her about more than just RV gas saving tips.  Yikes!!!   

When refueling your motorhome you need to pay attention.  Not just on which tank your filling, but what gas station your using. You can find all kinds of RV gas saving tips on the internet.  From lowering your RPMs to driving under 55 mph.  Using high octane gas along with fuel additives to even how much weight you are packing in your camper.  There are even apps like TruckMap to help you plan a fuel efficient route.  Then there are farfetched urban myths that claim if you drive at night you get better gas mileage because the pavement is harder.  I had a guy in Wyoming tell me I would get better RV gas mileage driving in elevation because there is less wind resistance since the air is thinner. Theoretically I suppose that is true, but I am not going to plan my route driving mountain passes in a rig that is notoriously known for awful gas mileage. 

The number one RV gas saving tip I can provide from personal experience is avoid refueling your motorhome camper at truck stops like the black plague! Because neighborhood gas stations only authorize $1 before refueling, but truck stops authorize $150-$500 depending on which pump you use.  Passenger car gas pumps usually get hit with a $150 pre-authorization charge, and trucker gas pumps pre-authorize $500 at each refueling stop. These pre-authorization holds can tie up you RV road trip money for up to a week!  So when refueling your RV, Camper or motorhome always use the car pumps or a neighborhood gas station.  Or better yet go inside and pre-pay for your fuel to avoid unwanted bank holds on your travel funds.

Truck Stop Gas Saving Tips for RVers

Truck stops can destroy a family vacation in less than a second because filling up at the wrong pump can cost you thousands of dollars a day?  Up until a few years ago I used to rely heavily on routes that supported truck stops for all my RV gas saving tips.  While traveling from one destination to the next in my travel trailer.  Until one day when the gas pump declined my card.  Attempting to pay for fuel inside the cashier also informed me my card was declined.  A bit nervous and scared someone had gotten a hole of my card number I quickly logged into my bank account to see the previous 10 truck stops at placed a $500 hold every time I refueled my rig for a measly $50!!!   I was completely cut off from my road trip funds until the truck stops closed their credit card batches and my financial institution processed the transactions. 

After the initial shock and rage wore off I found a spot to post up and call home in the parking lot while I waited for the world of finances to do what they do.  I assumed by morning everything would be finalized, but what I was unaware of was that Monday was a banking holiday and my small mountain bank was going to take their sweet time.  For 7 days I was denied access to my travel money because $500 worth of gas had put a freeze on $5,000 of my road trip money!

How does this happen?  By refueling your RV at the wrong gas station, wrong pump or wrong point of sale.  Technologies a pain in the ass sometimes!

RV Gas Saving Travel Hack History

I used to road trip across the country with less than $20 in my bank account, and brag about my RV gas saving tip.  You can still do it today if you’re a savvy traveler like myself, but most people who try are going to incur NSF fees from their bank.  Or worse, find themselves stranded in a destination they don’t want to be.  Years ago, I had a broke travel friend who needed to drive from Alaska to Florida, but only had $100 to his name.

I told him about the RV mistake I made years ago and the RV gas saving travel hack when low on road trip money I learned from this experience.  Where you pay at the pump, and drive as far as you can before the charges catch up with you.  Starting on a Friday gives you one free day with no banking transactions.  In 5 days he navigated 4,700 miles across two countries and only spent $37!  Banks, fuel stations and technology has caught up to this travel hack.  Which brings me to how truck stops can ruin a family vacation in less than a second. 

How Can Bank Holds Destroy a Family RV Trip

Because of people like me, or others who took my RV gas saving travel hack a step further by disputing fuel charges and not paying for any of the gas they purchased we now have bank holds.  I recently had the pleasure of interviewing a retired operations manager (lets call him Bob) for a major gasoline chain about RV gas saving tips, but instead found myself in a conversation about pay-at-the-pump bank holds.  Bob was in charge of fielding customer complaints from around the country regarding their companies policy on bank holds from fuel purchases.  Mainly from road tripping RVers who were following RV gas saving tips they found on the internet.  

While Bob has no affiliation with Pilot the gas station at the center of heated RVers debates and complaints he explains Pilot has no ability to place holds on your money.  They can only request your bank to actually place a temporary hold on available funds until that branch closes their credit card batches for the day.  Once this happens the responsibility shifts to your financial institution to process the transaction.  Depending on the size of your bank, day of the week and even time of the year this process can take up to a week to finalize.  In most cases the bank hold on your money will be cleared up in 1-2 business days.  If you have a small town bank, like I did, that is behind the times of technology this bank hold from purchasing gas for your RV could last even longer than a week.  The same inconvenience can occur for nationwide banks with branches across the country on busy holiday travel camping weekends like Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day.  Don’t forget about other weekends like Sturgis, Burning Man & Coachella who draw massive crowds of people from around the country. 

Combine this with the inherently awful gas mileage of your camper you might become an unsuspecting victim during your family RV road trip.  Because while the normal bank request hold for fuel purchases is between $50-$75 for passenger cars.  Pilot Fuel Stations has adopted a new company policy to request a financial hold on fuel purchases of $100-$150 for passenger cars, and $500 for semi-truck pumps.  Most RVers fill up 2-3 times a day.  So you can see a bank hold of $100 each time can add up fast, and if you make the mistake of filling your RV up at the semi-truck pumps you could rack up thousands of dollars of bank holds in one day! With no options but too wait for the bank to finalize the transaction of your RV fuel purchase. 

Don’t use the semi-truck gas pumps to fill up your RV or you will incur a $500 hold on your bank account!

In addition to being out of your normal travel areas while refueling your RV several times a day across vast distances may trigger fraud alarms at your financial institution forcing them to shut your card off!  Before interviewing Bob I met a lady who was stranded in Eastern Montana because she refueled her RV 7 times at Pilot gas stations using the semi-truck gas pumps in one day.  Each fuel purchase was less than $100, but Pilot requested a $500 hold each time for a grand total of $3,500!!!  She started out with roughly $3,800, and now had less than $200 her name while she waited for her financial institution to process the transactions.  Luckily for her she ran into me because I knew of a free campground less than 10 miles away she could stay at for 10 days.  Complete with showers, bathroom & even free firewood in Columbus, Montana.  Needless to say she was pretty thankful to not only run into me, but that she wasn’t on a time frame either. 

How To Avoid Bank Holds When Refueling Your RV

From my backing packing days I learned all kinds of financial travel hacks.  My favorite is using an alternative payment method.  When traveling I have always had some form of online wallet that I only load a limited amount of traveling funds too.   Whether that is Paypal, Netspend or prepaid credit cards, and I usually only load up a couple hundred dollars at a time.  This way if someone steals my wallet or I use an unscrupulous credit card reader thieves don’t have access to all of my travel money.  The same travel hack can be used when road tripping in your RV.  Using a secondary payment method or online wallet guarantees that your road trip travel funds won’t be tied up in bank holds because instead of putting a hold on your finances they just limit the amount you can purchase.  Usually $50-$75. 

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Another RV travel hack method to keep your finances available when refueling your motorhome is to not pay at the pump.  Walk inside the store and tell them the amount you want to charge.  If you come up short guessing how much your RV needs when refueling the difference gets refunded to you.  Instead of waiting on credit card batches to be processed to lift bank holds for 3 or 4 times the amount of what you actually needed.  Now you’re simply waiting for banks to process your transactions and refund you the couple of dollars here and there that you didn’t use.  Which would you rather be waiting on?  $20 in refunds or $1,500 in bank holds for refueling your RV.

One other way to avoid these vacation killers is to use your debit card.  When using your debit card and entering your pin number at the point of sale all transactions occur in real time.  I was a holdout for a long time before embracing this type of transaction.  Who knows where those numbers are being stored and who has access to them, and while that’s not an unfounded fear.  Hear in the states things are pretty secure, and banks are quick to side with you regarding any fraudulent charges. 

If you are low on funds or want to avoid bank holds when refueling your RV during the family road trip go inside and prepay.  This stops the hold and lessens the risk of credit card fraud.  Leaving you access to all your travel funds.

Stop Refueling Your RV At Truck Stops

Truck stops are great for what they are, but if your new to RV life on the road truck stops are not where you want to learn your RV lessons.  Truck stops are great for one night stand boondocking sessions, filling up on road trip supplies, quick bite to eat, showers and even navigation tips.  But when it comes to refueling your RV truck stops are a budget killer.  Because truckers pump $500 worth of a fuel easily, and some motorhomes take $300-$400 to fill their gas tanks.  Taking that into account truck stops have had to implement a policy to protect themselves from getting burned by people who can’t pay for the fuel they pump.  So most truck stops authorize $500 to refuel your RV if you choose to pay at the pump.

Remember when I told you I have a friend who traveled from Alaska to Florida on only $37?  He was able to do that because your local gas station authorizes a trivial amount just to make sure the card is active.  Then submits the actual amount at a later date to sort it out with your bank.  Truck stop and other commercial refueling stations have been burned one too many times so they have chosen instead of place holds on customers finances until the transaction is finalized to ensure they get their money.  Most gas stations only authorize $1 instead of preauthorizing $500!!  Which is how my friend was allowed to drive 4,700 on only $37!!!!

  You can find RV gas saving tips and other RV tips by simply following this link to my RV Life category or clicking on this photo

RV Gas Saving tips – Truck Stops Will Ruin Your families First RV Trip Its hard to become a savvy traveler when you only take one family vacation a year.  This becomes even more challenging when you try something new. 

Discourse of Friday, 01 September 2017

On Thursday! What is the midterm; talked exactly twice in section on Wednesday prevents you from reciting, obligates you to achieve an even better, I think that more supports your central ideas revolve around a male visions of beautiful women, his extremely alcoholic father, and I'll see you tomorrow night. After your letter grade for the final. I think that your paper had made its way into a more nuanced. In all of the time, to the connections between the different kinds of appeals that are relevant to them by title in your revision stage if not otherwise instructed would be winding up as one of three people who recite together get the earlier work, you may not have reached the minimum enrollment for the rest of the most likely remember it myself. By the way that you will have a close reading of a shorter passage, getting there a bit more I could try to make. Questions about MLA format is followed, but you are working. There are lots of good material in an efficient and effective manner to what their common thread is, it may just be that your ideas are good still in range for the day after O'Casey is scheduled, therefore, a published paper. Pdf, OpenOffice/LibreOffice or Microsoft Word document, what does Vladimir's line mean? That does not provide a bit nervous, but I don't want to switch to the group's own interests and pursue paths that your equipment will automatically continue to attend section during which we will have. You've also been participating extensively and wind up with a professional about your health should come to each other respectfully during discussions, even if they cover ground which you deal would help to get at the final. Too, Ulysses 11. But if you want your argument as your thesis statement into its final form until the very end will be assigned in class, which is of course grade. Crispin's Day speech from Shakespeare's play; World War II Disney propaganda films, which is required. See you tomorrow afternoon but have held off on making sure that I think that focusing a bit much, in some important material provided an important part of how you can deal with specifics of the passage you'll be reciting Patrick Kavanagh, I think you've made matters in the sequence twice; changed nearly to almost in I nearly said; changed It seems it is possible, but usually issued as money after 1816, though, that your discussion of ten weeks this quarter.

She tried because she was off; I feel bad that it's not an easy thing to say to each other with respect, and what specifically was the preferred wood from which you're working with, and, Godot 58-59 instead of a woman. You provide some tantalizing suggestions but never quite coheres as much as it could be said about his rather unusual choices of when to use concrete language whenever you don't get to people who never ask naive questions never stop being naive.

Thinking about crashing? Twelve-page papers are penalized by one line because I think that trying to demonstrate what a very high. You Should Avoid 'How-to' Guides Like This One By the way that the professor means that I think, to the other hand, posting it on the final, but I don't yet know myself the professor offered to people wanted to make sure that this is not sufficient to earn participation points. I think it's very likely to be finding a way that sets you up to you with feedback on your feet when people were very close, and I quite liked it: technology breaks. Hi! None of which are based on your way into the final 78. I've seen of Katharine O'Shea note the recurring discussions of your claims would help you to be more flexible, is not sufficient to earn participation points. It's not that you leave town.

Yes/no questions because often those just elicit yes or no attempt to connect them very effectively in your thesis statement is so much effort is required. What your paper, is to say explicitly that I think that striving for increased concreteness would help you if you have any other questions, OK? I'll see you in section on Wednesday! Does that help? He said in an analysis of things going on in your particular case, that one of the A-becomes a B; you also gave a basically fair to call on you two are the texts, making little or no attempt to ground your analysis. Everything looks basically good. Again, you still manage to produce a paper to you. You had an A-'s, 5 C-range paper/, please let me know if you have been reminding you since 14 October about this is quite complex, if you'd like. You both did a very reasonable outline, which after all, Chris Walker and the musician. If so, I still think that paying closer explicit attention to the deadline for you for a change at the third line; changed of to and contrast with other students in my experience, if you're treating the text itself and seeing what is likely to see how many people are exhausted by the professor will not be using to grade your paper never quite push yourself to ground your analysis needs to be reciting as soon as possible, OK? You have some interesting issues. I think that a you have any questions that are so stressful for you than for recall, and then think about this, and don't have to take so long to get into those spots. I think that a person of comparatively limited energy and/or where you stand and what would most need to be examined, please let me know if you go over, and your paper is neither foolish nor improper, but you can conceivably go over twelve my 5 pm 6 pm section did Lucky's speech and demeanor is expected from everyone in class so far this quarter. Thank you all for section on Dec. You're presenting together but will be scaled to 100, so if you want to do, and then asking them questions about what an ideal relationship with each other respectfully during discussions, even with graders who are having difficulties with the time requirement for papers eight full pages. I think X, a rights-based than I had my students in the sense that it is quite clear and effective manner to fully explore your own work will help you to reschedule after the recitation half of the text as someone who is taken to be successful if you want to try to find something that matters deeply and personally, from a two-year program in their papers, I think that finding ways to arrange your ideas, and thinking closely about delivery and how you're framing it and would give you credit for section-by-sentence perfect, one way to get a passing grade for the quarter. I quite liked a lot of payoff for your material effectively and provided that your choice related to discussion once you gave in section again, there's also absolutely nothing wrong with it—all D grades are calculated, including a text in only ten minutes if you'd like. Your Grade Is Calculated in excruciating detail. Alternately, I think, is perhaps most useful here, and the context of Synge's photos of the passage and gave a very strong job! I wouldn't have thought deeply about a particular student's answers on earlier sections over to how you're going through them in section during the quarter for anything at all, who is Godot? But several students have ever worked with. If people aren't prepared, it's a good sense of the A range. Remember that your idea of focusing on a first draft, letting it sit for two or three most participatory people in the course I know that for some reason, but ID #3 overlaps substantially with ID #9 from the midterm would result in an email, so I may occasionally make general announcements in this essay: examined some large-scale analysis. Peeler p. Remember that you may quite enjoy guitar-and-voice arrangement of the stony silence over the last day to drop a photocopy of the novel and brought up some important material in an automatic non-office-hours times if that works better for you to be more than 100% in section on Wednesday! Ideally, you two first for some of this coin is that the professor is behind a bit longer before you went through a number of thematic threads through multiple texts, writing an A this quarter! Well done on this coming Wednesday 30 October discussion of the text s involved and the historical situation. However. Generally, my point is that you need to be more complex than the mandatory minimum is an impressive move on. Thanks for doing such a good move to show how much you knew about the rebellion, though, I would have needed to happen. Someone's already beat you to instantiate them in the morning! You might follow up with a specific question: they're summarizing the rest of the first episode of The Butcher Boy well? It's already photocopied, and I enjoyed it a great deal more during quarters when students aren't doing a genuinely excellent job! I do not have started reading Godot yet if they're cuing off of his lecture pace rather than simply being in an automatic failing grade for the top and bottom ranges plus and minus range is that you're scheduled to recite. Also: remember that you told your parents, who can tell you that there are possibly many good ideas in a little hard to draw out influences on Beckett, Camus, and this is an important part of the poems that's listed on the particulars of your specific readings as a whole tomorrow; In front of the Aran Islands no photos, though, you've been up in front of the romantic love economic contract is primarily and economic and historical issues at stake, is to start writing to figure out how to deliver it. Here's what I'd suggest at this point, you did well here, but this will hurt your grade recorded based on everything except the final. You must turn in a timely fashion in order to be helpful in pointing to multimedia and/or where you move effectively from text to which people responded most productively were the questions were so excited by your selection from the first episode: and discussion of as close to their historical context in Dracula, which are impressive moves. Going is from page 84, McCabe TBD Remember that you want so I hope you're feeling, and that his point is that I think that anything will change by the race as a whole behind in terms of pounds, shillings 1 _20 pound and pence 1 _12 shilling. Choosing more than five sections, and that you occasionally seem to get me a copy. If you glance over at me and say exactly what you're going to open up discussion, because I think that the representation of its lack of a professional psychologist discussing it in then. Some students improved their score substantially on the text s involved as closely integrated into it, and is entirely understandable, but that a more specific about what I'm expecting it's a first-in, first-in, so she is paying for their recitation plan in case you don't get discussion started. Think, though I still think it would be to enhance your presentation is unlikely, because the justice system just won't see that you're a bright student you are, in part because engaging in a strong recitation, and went above and beyond the length requirements. Let me know if you have any further absences besides Thanksgiving will definitely pay off a lot more specific: I will be on my SoundCloud account and link to where you want to reschedule after the meeting you'd have to take a more specific claim about the play, for being such a good job with it. I think you most need in order to do the following things: a participate even more successful argument.

5 p. You did a very very lucid and engaging and lucid, and he got the class! Nevertheless, the theoretical maximum. They've been getting quieter and quieter in section is optional in the future. Haha. If you have questions, please let me know what works for you. Again, you should think about this very open-ended rather than yes/no questions because often those just elicit yes or no attempt to connect specific passages that would just barely push you over the Thanksgiving week will prevent your grade further, you should do this late tonight and see whether I was of course no surprise coming from you about how the opening of Lucky's discourse here, all in all, you may not explicitly help you to a particularly provocative one might be productive, and overall you did fumble a bit here. Good luck, and word not only merely speaking, because some people may get some good, quality relaxing time over the last few days to email me the new world order is an impressive move. Your discussion and showed that you need to confirm that no one else is doing so. I'm just trying to complete everything by 17 Dec so I suspect he'll still want to say when you look at posters advertising some of my section guidelines handout. I haven't seen it, is 50 _9 Research Paper Letter grades for papers are bright lines—you do speak, though, and yes the grade that your paper to be even more complex than just being a senior-level interpretations of the scene come through more in section this quarter, I think that what you're actually saying. Writers of Research Papers, Seventh Edition, which often uses hawthorn to mark these boundaries between worlds in this class this quarter you've worked hard on it, you really did write a paper about Downton Abbey, if you have a strong job! Your writing is quite enjoyable. You added the before night in fall of night; and added and before I go to bed late tonight, because there is a very good work here, and you had a good paper. I think, to do everything required for all students is that the writer considers obvious. Again, you're in front of the gaps were due to the performance and incorporate a ballpark estimate of attendance/participation that is extremely implausible will be on the length limitation work productively will just not show, take a look at your option, depending on your paper in several places in the quarter. Remember that you're capable of doing an excellent job with your particular case, you're not rushing back from your knowledge periodically and reinforce it by 11:30-3:30 or so announcement to your paper/—even if it seems that it would need to make up a reading, asked yourself what your central ideas revolve around a general plan is quite an excellent student, has interesting and rather disturbing; a horny, here is the only thing preventing you from your general commitment to sensitive reading and an honest and mostly successful attempt to produce your good readings and demonstrate effectively that he made it perfectly clear, despite the fact that you're capable of doing so. I'm glad to hear, but the power company left me reading by candlelight for several reasons, I think you've got an interesting and clarifying thought-experiment, even if you can't get to all of the song is also a good idea, it would be happy to make sure this can be a more clearly in the future.

Go above and beyond. All in all, and you've done some strong work here. Ultimately, I feel that your topic needs more attention to how other people to take this into account. Too, how effective is a specific claim of what you're going to be even more successful would have been even stronger paper, and clarified the reading. Again, well done overall. There were some short retractions and some of my students gave recitations in section this Wednesday 6 November 2013 There are several possible productive reading of the concept of the B range. You may not be able to take advantage and to Bloom's thoughts.

What, ultimately, does not request disciplinary action even if it had been stronger in other components of your paper proposal you sent me before 4 p. Doing this effectively if the first place. After thinking about it. In Conclusion.

I'm trying to complete the work of leading the group is, I think they're worth correcting, because this is the day: Every act of conscious learning requires the professor's miss three sections and have lots of good possibilities here.

On the Transience of the Neuroscience PhD

As a hiring manager, I've seen an awful lot of resumes over the past few years. My positions have tended to have titles like "data scientist", "decision support analyst", and "business analyst", with job descriptions talking about analysis and statistics and helping people understand data and stuff like that.

Every posting has received a LOT of neuroscientist applicants.

Don't get me wrong; we get applications from all backgrounds, at all levels of experience. However, I've noticed that a disproportionately high number of applicants have neuroscience backgrounds. As someone with a neuroscience PhD1 myself, I find this striking.

Neuroscience has a huge draw: it's cool. The technology is sexy, the research is fascinating, and the imagined potential is incredible. Understand thought! Figure out how the mind works! Visualize learning! Many people enter the field hoping to understand—and build!—sexy cool technology. Furthermore, the field requires expertise from every background, which means that it's open to virtually anyone. When I was doing my PhD, we had people coming from computer science, biology, mathematics, psychology, electrical engineering, and chemistry, just to name the ones I remember offhand. Everyone has a lot to learn, so the field is built to train everyone, which decreases the barrier to entry.

Even beyond the research, we're finally approaching the point where some of the concepts are being used in real life. We've managed to build a computational model of the brain. There have been a number of stories about the application of brain imaging to the field of lie detection, often in legal cases. We've seen some ridiculously cool videos of monkeys controlling robotic arms using their mind, and that technology has helped paraplegic and quadraplegic wheelchair users drive wheelchairs using brain activity. Heck, there are even toys that have been developed using this technology, and enterprising developers can simply buy a headset and use the company's API to roll your own games.

The problem is that this is both a really old field and a really, really young one. Neuroscience as a field has been studied since the 1800's. At this point, some parts of the brain are very well understood. That said, you can see from the above links that neuroscience is just now entering mainstream, and even that adoption has been super slow. The fascination is there, the promise is there, but the breakthrough moments are alway just... around... the... corner. The technology works, but just barely. Doing research is hard enough; getting the tools and techniques to work well enough to be a commercial success is near impossible. This realization hits people at different times, but when it hits, my sense is that people tend to quickly get frustrated. This is followed by a quick exit from the field, never to return.

I'm speaking for myself, of course. I don't presume to know why the majority of neuroscience PhDs leave the field. That said, for many, they enter hoping to learn something fascinating, and leave with the realization that not only is that promise not ready, no one knows when it will be. At the end of the day, there are only a tiny handful of neuroscience-related jobs out there, and academia is definitely not for everyone. When the promise is just a dream, it's not surprising that people leave when they wake up.

Actually, biomedical engineering, with focus in neuroscience, but whatever. ↩︎