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dilatorywriting · 8 months

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Monster Mayhem: Love Drunk

Gender Neutral Reader x Vil Schoenheit Word Count: 1.9k

Summary: You are a succubus, who is apparently really bad at their job. At least if your poor, nitpicking victim has anything to say about it.

A/N: Sorry for being horny on main, but here we are lol I've been writing a lot of little bits lately for a Twst OC of mine, and decided that hey, y'know what, might as well revamp some of the ones that are easily revamp-able into my usual reader-insert style and pump out some shenanigans rather than just letting them languish away in google docs. So here we be.

🌶️🌶️🌶️ WARNING for Spicy Content!

READ WHAT YOU LIKE, BUT BE MINDFUL OF WHAT YOU READ

“You’re late.”

The steam billowed as if with a sigh, and a familiar figure melted from the warm spray.

You blew a wet strand of hair out of your face with a noise that was nearly a raspberry. “I was busy.”

“I didn’t realize you had a life outside me,” Vil droned, only mostly serious. The little succubus seemed to pop out of the shadows at the slightest beckon, and even when you were gone, you always came back with nothing but talk of all the ways you’d worked to improve your craft since the last they spoke. And of your strange, card-faced friends, on occasion. But that was a topic you tended to hoard closely to your chest like a dragon to gold.

“Not everything revolves around you,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

Vil leaned his head back to rinse the remainder of the conditioner from his hair. “Then maybe you shouldn’t act like my good opinion is the only thing keeping you employed, fed, and housed.”

You went warm in the ears, even under the heat of the steam, and crossed your arms petulantly over your chest. At least you’d been keen enough to not pop into his shower fully clothed this time. That had been a mess. You shifted back and forth on the balls of your feet with a grumpy, little huff and Vil didn’t bother to fight the way that his eyes followed the slowly rolling droplets of water that trailed lower with each fidget.

“Whatever. I’m here now, aren’t I?” you grouched. “But anyways, what’s the plan for today? Out late again?”

“More all-day shoots,” he said, reaching up to replace one bottle of custom hair product for another. “And an interview to follow that’s meant to be a pre-recording for the morning programs tomorrow. So that could be close to midnight, depending on when we finish up.”

Your nose scrunched in sympathy. “Ew. I don’t get why you do all this stuff. It sounds like a nightmare. Human media is so strange.”

Maybe it was. But—

“It’s worth it,” he huffed, running one of his newer serums through the silky strands of his pale hair. He glanced down at you from beneath his dripping bangs. “Have you been using the conditioner I gave you?”

“Do you think there are functional showers in Hell?” you snipped, and then averted your gaze in chagrin. “I have been trying. I just—it’s not always an option all the time,” you said, a bit embarrassed.

“Come here,” he sighed, twirling his finger in a sign to show him her back, and you shifted closer obediently.

It was always so funny, he thought, as he reached out to scrub white bubbles into your mused hair. That you would spit and hiss, and throw such a tantrum over everything. But when it came to actually obeying his orders? You were always putting one foot in front of the other to meet him more than halfway. If he said ‘jump,’ you’d whine and complain but inevitably ask ‘how high.’ Like a loyal little stray that growled and raised its hackles but would come preening for food and attention at the first whistle.

“Sounds like a stressful day,” you hummed, arching into his fingers like a cat being stroked down its spine. “Are you still stuck working with that one guy you hate? Nigel, or whatever?”

“Neige,” he huffed, giving your hair a soft tug in rebuke. “And yes. The project hasn’t wrapped yet.”

“So a very stressful day,” you mused, tilted your head back to thump against his chest and stare up at him through the steady stream of water overhead. He watched the thin, feline-like, pupils of your eyes flash and widen into something round and dark. “This’ll be perfect then.”

“What?” he scoffed, as if he hadn’t just seen those pulsing, black pupils himself and felt something in his stomach tug. “That I’m stressed?”

“No,” you huffed, cheeks puffing out in irritation like he’d known they would. “Because I’ve been practicing.”

He arched a pointed brow and your cheeks went rounder yet. You stepped out of his hold and turned so the two of you were chest to chest. Vil let his hands fall to rest at the dip in your back and you pressed along him in one, lean line from toe to hip. Those strange, iridescent irises of yours flicked over his face, his lips, and those rabbit cheeks went hot with embarrassment. (“Humans kiss each other,” he’d said during one of their earliest meetings, when he’d leaned in with a smirk to brush his mouth against your temple and you’d nearly started seizing. “It’s what they do.” And you’d gone rattlingly indignant and started sputtering about impropriety of all things. All while you were sitting there butt naked and demanding he let you jerk him off so you could meet your weekly quota).

Your eyes dipped low beneath your lashes. And then you darted up quick to press a peck to his chin before immediately dropping to your knees. You leaned forward to nuzzle into the soft, blonde hairs tufted there and then dragged your tongue up the length of him in one, long lick. Vil fought a shiver.

“Practicing, huh?” he droned, affecting boredom as best he was able.

“Yes,” you replied, determined, and gave another lick. Shorter, this time. And more focused along the delicate, pink crown of him. “You made fun of me last time! Called it a ‘High Schooler’s First Blowjob!’ How could I not practice?”

“Oh? With who?” he scoffed, a bit more bitter jealousy seeping into the sneer than he would have liked.

Your face went scrunchy with embarrassment again and then you were sinking back down to run your tongue against the thick vein along the underside. Vil reached out to twine his fingers in your hair and you ducked forward to take him into your mouth.

“You’re lucky you caught me before I got out of the shower,” he said on a sigh, hips twitching when you gave a firmer suck. “This would hardly be worth dirtying myself all over again for—”

You pressed her tongue sharply into the little slit at the head and then dragged the muscle forward in a wide sweep—circling the whole of the most sensitive creases and then applying that same, lovely, suction all over again. Vil groaned, low and rumbling, and he could practically taste the bubbling excitement of your pride bursting along his lips.

You hummed—smug—intentionally loud and muzzy, so that it shot through the buzzing nerves in his skin like a symphony. Vil grit his teeth and dug his fingers into your hair to yank. Instead of popping off with an indignant whine and a trailing string of saliva, you narrowed your eyes at him and then dove forward—relaxing your throat and swallowing him down until your nose was pressed into his pubic bone. Vil cursed, head falling back against the tile wall with a punched-out moan and fingers twining shakily in the short hairs by the base of your skull.

“You have been practicing,” he mumbled, fighting the urge to go a bit cross-eyed when you swallowed around him.

You hummed in affirmation. It vibrated all the way from head to base and he shivered in time with it.

After too many long, long seconds of him nearly slipping down the wall with the curl of his toes, you popped off with a cough.

“I can hold my breath for ages now,” you declared proudly, a smear of milky white smudged along the corner of your lips. You leaned forward to prop your chin up against the jut of his hip bone and smirk up at him with a look that was a touch too genuinely excited to be truly impish. “Told you I could do it.”

“How foolish of me to have ever doubted your dedication,” he scoffed, still a bit too breathless for the sarcasm he was trying to spit. It nearly came out on a gasp and your grin grew wider. He sneered, a bit too harsh under his fluster, “What with your stalwart focus on never even touching the kits I’ve bought you. Let alone making any of the other bevy of improvements that I’ve been trying to put into place for weeks now.”

“Oh?” you droned, sharp. “Well, sorry to disappoint, Lord Vil. I guess I’ll just have to try harder.”

And then without preamble, you were swallowing him down all over again all the way to the root—nose brushing the soft, pale, hair there as you dutifully squeezed your throat and ran your tongue along the underside until he was practically seeing stars. You drove forward further, hands coming up to dig your nails into his thighs as you pushed yourself until you were trembling and pinpricks of sharp tears dotted your lashes. One of those hands shifted between his legs, and you reached out with careful fingers to twine around the delicate stones there and squeeze.

Vil curled forward and came with something that was nearly a shout, trembling and loose as he emptied himself down your throat. You swallowed around each pulse, sending zip after zip of oversensitive buzzing through his veins.

You pulled away with another round of coughing, looking positively debauched. You scrubbed some of the dripping water out of your eyes and then moved to swipe away the stray drops of sticky whiteness that had managed to escape your otherwise valiant efforts to drink him dry.

“Better?” you grinned, hair mused and cheeks wet and sore.

A quip rested on his tongue. Something about how you could not be, when there’d been nowhere to go but up? But the genuinely delighted look on your face, and the soft, hesitant, undercurrent of nervous tension underneath had him loosening his fingers from your hair to rub at one of the milky stains littering your chin.

“It was good,” he said. “Better than that, even. Well done.”

“Worth taking another shower for?” you beamed.

“Worth an entire morning’s routine,” he smiled, far too soft, and leaned down to press a long, wet, kiss to your lips when you went spluttery and shy.

“I can come by your trailer, if you want,” the succubus offered, as Vil busied himself with blotting a towel over your dripping hair.

“Oh?” he mused. “I thought you only needed to feed once a day.”

“Well, sure. But I mean for your stress relief,” you said on an indignant little puff, crossing your arms tight across your chest. You peeked up from beneath your lashes, cautious. “I mean, only if you’d want that sort of thing.”

He reached out to cup your cheeks and pinch. You whined under his prodding but didn’t swat him away.

Vil sighed, dramatic and put upon. “I suppose if you insist. How could I deny my most precious little protégé anything they ask, hmm?”

“Easily, if the past few weeks are anything to go by,” you sneered around his tugging. “And who’s ‘your protégé’?! I’m the succubus here!”

“Yes,” he drawled. “A succubus who’s needed me to teach them everything they know. What a fearsome creature, indeed.”

“I could fuck you to death,” you threatened, eyes flashing bright and eerie.

Vil pinched harder, until the skin under his fingers went nearly white, and you winced—those same, slitted eyes going a bit glassy and nervous. He leaned forward until his breath ghosted along your lips and he watched your throat bob in a gulp.

“I’d like to see you try.”

#twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #Vil Schoenheit x Reader #Vil x Reader #vil schoenheit #Monster Mayhem #My Writing #vil shoenheit #Succubus!Reader #Monster Mayhem Succubus Part 1 #SPICY CONTENT

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smooth-perceval · 8 months

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“Hey mon amour”

Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Charles closed himself from the world after loosing his wife, he finally finds the strength in their daughter to publicly speak about her.

Warnings: Angst, grief, mentions of readers death, a lot of tears- Charles thinking his a bad father, Charles talking to himself a lot- swearing, Google translate.

Key: Y/N (Your Name) Juliette (Your daughters name) Jules (Her nickname)

Word count: 2,523

A/N: I watched this video on TikTok and it just made me think of doing something sad… I’m sorry 🫶🏼 it’s rushed and it’s all over the place but I needed to get some ‘emotions’ out I guess 🫶🏼

Was we prepared for a baby? Hell no- Juliette truthfully was an accident- but the best kind. Without her I definitely wouldn’t have stuck around these past 7 months. I’d be up there… painting that sky beautiful with mon amour. (My love)

Laying there in bed I watched her sleep soundly, she had her maman’s nose, lips, hair and cute puffy cheeks. The only thing of mine was her eyes- she definitely got the better parents looks, absolutely perfect in every way. (Mum)

Since the passing of her, as bad as it is, I slept with Juliette by my side, wether it was in her crib and then waking up at stupid hours in the morning and putting her into my bed, or even just falling asleep in her room, with a pillow and blankets on the floor.

She held me together every day, kept me sane- otherwise I talk to myself, or talk to them up there, or better yet curl up in a ball and cry.

Nobody knew of Juliette, I hid her at all cost- in fact nobody knew we had a baby, we kept it very hidden and was going to slowly introduce her to the F1 world, it wasn’t a world for out little girl yet, she had to be protected.

And yet all this time we was protecting her, that I wasn’t there to protect my darling.

The night we lost her even till now feels surreal. Not only 10 minutes before the accident had she called me to tell me she was on her way back home… and the pain I felt when she didn’t show- I knew then, I knew our lives would change… I just didn’t know how drastic.

That night a guy ran a stop light, taking a wife, a mother, a friend, a fan- taking the one person who helped me breathe in a room of no air, helped me swim when I was drowning in a sea of judgement, the woman that gifted me the most precious thing anyone could ever give, our baby girl.

He just took it- in the blink of an eye.

I forgot how to breathe when she was gone, forgot how to tread water, forgot to be a dad. My body didn’t function, my brain shut down.

Maman said I was a ghost yet still alive, she cared for Juliette while I tried to find some sanity in the world, a world I held nothing but anger against. And when I was finally able to figure out how to breathe alone, I kept Juliette with me, day in day out. And with her around I felt lighter, like the world wasn’t pinning me down- like I had a purpose.

I had to show our baby, even though it left a bitter taste on my tongue- that the world was beautiful.

Because what do you do in life, when the one person who understood you more than anything is gone?

Juliette gave me life, and every time I look over at her, the more I remember what I’m doing this ‘life’ for. It’s to see that little tooth that’s slowly coming through, or the dimple on her cheek when her father does something silly, or when we’re lying in bed watching cartoons, and she reaches her hand up to hold my face.

That’s why I continue. All for our little girl.

Leaning over to her I placed a gentle kiss to her temple, before getting out of bed. Ensuring she was safe I bundled pillows and blankets around her in case she decided to roll over.

And while she slept peacefully I started getting a few things ready for tonight.

Tonight was the awards, and it took a lot of thought, but I finally came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to leave Jules at home- wether she was hidden at the side lines or tucked away in my pocket- I needed her there.

I made one special request to the team- which of course they wouldn’t refuse. The tux I was fixing to wear tonight had red somewhere wether it was a tie, or the inside lining. We needed red-

For fans, and Ferrari itself it was a sweet token of my appreciation to them. For me and Juliette is was for our angel.

Red is Y/N colour, always looked gorgeous in anything red- always smiling when she see a red rose, or a red sky- so every morning and evening she decorates the sky, like a reminder that she is there.

It’s my coffee in the morning seeing that sky, and my lullaby at night.

Sighing to myself, I closed off my thoughts heading into the bathroom. I got changed into a simple tracksuit. Seeing as it’s a distance to travel, and I would need comfort over fashion right now-

Humming softly to myself I shuffled back into the bedroom, laying down across the bed- my hand reached out brushing over her head.

“princesse, time to wake up.” (Princess)

And slowly but surely, her eyes slowly opened, as soon as she saw me a smile crept onto her face, that one tooth showing, and the dimple making an appearance.

“You a happy girl?” Smiling back at her, she slowly crept up onto all fours, rocking back and fourth.

She has learned quite quickly for her age, being able to crawl and nearly say dada- I was proud of her, she had a fire in her just like her dad. Wanted to be the best at everything-

“Come my darling, we need breakfast-” sliding back off the bed I reached over picking her up, kicking her legs excitedly she reached out to me and once in range gripped ahold of my nose- a loud happy squeal leaving her small self.

“A very happy girl huh-” laughing a little, bouncing her on my hip- I took us both downstairs and into the kitchen.

We’re still between having milk, jar foods, sometimes Papas food. A mixture of everything. Juliette will eat anything!

I can honestly say one thing with my hand on my heart. We have made the best baby. Always smiling, always happy- when she ‘cries’ it’s more of a murmur, a little quiver of her lip. But never a scream and shout, she is always loving- always kind. The most perfect little girl.

—

The evening soon fell upon us, it was a hustle and bustle getting here but we made it! Jules was content as ever, if anything the most calm out of us all.

Looking over at her in her car seat- she was sound asleep. I took a quick glance down at my watch humming an approval to myself.

Juliette sleeping now works out perfectly for her bed time later- Honestly when I say she is the perfect baby- I mean it, in all the craziness getting ready she was her happy little self, and clearly worn herself out playing in the hotel room- especially to be sleeping so peacefully now on the way to the event.

The event was the FIA awards. With all my anger towards this cruel world I focused it on track, you wouldn’t believe where I got…

World champion of the world.

But as proud as I wanted to be of myself… it just didn’t feel right without her here.

Even now- it just feels like a blur. World champion of the world? Doesn’t seem real to me.

—

I hated being late to anything. But in this case I wanted to arrive late, I wanted Juliette in the room with me. Like I keep saying she is my rock. Motivated me to keep going it only seemed right.

Rocking Juliette back and fourth I slid into the back of the room, cradling her and hiding her face- I wanted to do this but some sense of me wasn’t ready to let the world see my baby. And I wasn’t ready for my baby to see this kind of world…

Creeping over to the Ferrari table, I quickly sat down placing Juliette’s baby bag next to my chair- avoiding eyes, and making sure Jules was okay.

She found entertainment in hitting my un-used spoon onto the table, seeing as I skipped when the served dinner.

Finally finding the courage I looked up, Carlos eyes were on me. A small smile on his face, Carlos obviously knew about Jules, he had to know his my teammate, mostly all the inner track know- but they had never really met her.

The ones who have- Jules absolutely loves them. A good example is Carlos, once she realises his across the table- by any means necessary she will crawl her way across too him.

Can’t blame her- when she finally has him the grip on his hair, she pulls hard and doesn’t let go, understandable I can sometimes pull his hair out in annoyance.

“And now- the moment has finally come. Not just for us to witness. But for him to finally receive.” Most of the presenters words fell onto my deaf ears.

And I just waited for my name to be called.

When it was, I slowly got up from my seat, Jules hugged to my chest. Once again cradling her, hand on the back of her head, still trying to protect her from everyone…

Slowly making my way up the steps, making sure not to trip over. The sounds of aw’s and gasps are heard around the room-

Walking along the ‘path’ Jules looked around at everyone mesmerised by the lights.

“Thank you- er…” looking down at my arms with a smile at Jules I looked back at the trophy.

“We will just place it down here-” the man smiled at me, crouching and placing it on the floor next to the mic.

“Well- thank you.” Shifting Juliette over onto my other hip I bounced her gently- she was still in awe at the room.

“I’d like to start by saying a big thank you to the Ferrari team, this championship wouldn’t have been possible without you, I’d like to say a congratulations to my teammate Carlos for getting second in the championship, and another congratulations to Ferrari for winning the constructors award.” Jules hand came up and covered over my mouth, looking down at her I smiled happily- she really was in her own world and reaching out wherever.

“Now I know a lot don’t want to listen, and I’m sorry- but this is the first time I’ve really spoken in 6 months… to you guys- and also all you fans at home-” pausing I swallowed thickly, lifting Jules back up higher on my hip.

“I’d like to introduce you all to, Juliette Pascal Leclerc. She was born March the 4th, at 7 minutes past 3 in the morning.” A low applauded sounded through the room, Juliette looking around at them all, joining in their clapping. Now making everyone laugh.

“She is the most brightest baby I know- always smiling, always happy. Very much like her maman.” (Mum) Pausing I looked over at Carlos. Who quickly nodded his head over at me. A silent support in the crowd.

“As most know… we lost our Y/N back in May… it’s been tough- some days I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t function. Hell I wasn’t even a good dad for our Jules here.” As I said her nickname, more awes were heard throughout the room.

Opening my mouth- then closing it again quickly I looked down at Jules, who’s head was now resting on my shoulder, staring up at me with her beautiful eyes. My eyes started welling up with tears I look back over around the room, stepping away from the mic I took a second to compose myself before moving back in.

“She would be so proud today, every year she would say ‘This is your year Charlie, I can feel it.’ She was right this year…” breathing out heavily I used my hand to quickly wipe my eyes, then wrapping it back around Jules- if possible even tighter.

“She just isn’t here to witness it happening.”

Jules hand reaches up once again, hand on my cheek- like she was comforting me.

“When she was taken, so was me truthfully. That Charles had went with her… she was kind hearted, had a heart of gold. Days like today when I run out of socialisation, she would always come over, and just say something so simple like ‘Charles, you ready to go?’ Pull me straight out that dark hole.” Smiling a little to myself, I finally let the tears go. Jules started to fidget, getting antsy waiting around, and to my need Carlos stood infront of the stage holding his hands out, Jules as always was ecstatic to go to Carlos.

“Thank you-” smiling down at Jules I stepped back to the mic, finally picking my award up.

“Well you was right baby, this was our year.” Raising the award a little to the roof I pointed up at her also.

Sighing to myself, I wiped my face once again. “I tell you what-” it was a waste of energy wiping my face, cause the tears fell once again.

“I miss her- everyday… I’m sorry- I get emotional…” Chewing the inside of my cheek I looked down at my feet, the tears not stopping now.

“It’s just so hard without her…” sniffling I breathed in, trying to control myself.

“What am I supposed to do now… I done what I said I’ll do.” Looking up slightly at the trophy. I see myself in the reflection.

“This is for you my darling, it was my year after all.” Kissing the top of the trophy. I turned back to everyone.

“Thank you- I’m sorry for being a absolute mess…” smiling apologetically I waved at whoever, making my way back off the stage to a standing ovation. Cheers and applauds around the room.

Once I got near to Carlos, Juliette was practically bouncing off his hip, hands outstretched to me. And without question I put the trophy down on the floor, taking Jules back into my arms, holding her close, swaying back and fourth.

“My darling. You ready to go huh?” Leaning back I placed a kiss to her forehead. Bending down a little I grabbed her bag pulling it over my shoulder again.

“I’ll grab your trophy.” Smiling Carlos patted my shoulder, picking the trophy up and following behind me.

As soon as we was outside photos were being taken, quickly I hid Jules face.

“Guys you can take photos- just please turn the flash off-” smiling at them all, they was quick to play around on their phones and cameras. When confident in them all, I moved my hand away from Jules face.

“Thank you.”

Jules hand came into view pointing up at the sky.

“Mumumum” gasping I leaned back getting a view of her face- I was taking that as her first word, the best choice of first words-

Looking up at the red sky above us I kissed Jules cheek.

“That’s right baby, that’s Maman.” (Mum.)

Masterlist

#f1 imagine #formula one imagine #imagine #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x you

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octuscle · 10 months

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CHAVTF - Smart casual

Michael and Charles were sent shopping. The dress code for the dinner was explicitly "sporty-casual". Just like for the boat tour yesterday evening. Their understanding of casual was a summery three-piece suit with an open shirt. The colleagues with whom they were teambuilding understood it to mean jeans and a T-shirt.

If their boss hadn't insisted that the two of them wear something else, they would have come in a suit again tonight. So after the last group meeting, the two had to run off and find something to wear. Both agreed that jeans and a T-shirt were not their style and that they would only need the clothes for this one evening. So spending too much money seemed unnecessary. Google showed a store near their hotel called CHAVTF with good reviews. That's where the two headed. The first impression was immediately repulsive. The store attendant was wearing army pants with combat boots and a worn-out tank top. But the two didn't have time to look for anything else. They now had to buy something for tonight in fifteen minutes.

Oi mates, the clerk greeted them. Are ya lookin' for somethin' in particular? Michael said they were going on a pub tour today and needed something suitable.

"Sure, mates! Me fuckin' name is like jack. Trust me, us'll find just the reel thin'. Dee ya also go to normal pubs? Or are ya strictly gay on the road?"

Michael said he wasn't sure. But probably mostly gay.

"Cool, that'll get ya undressed, i'll brin' ya somethin'."

Michael gave Charles a kiss and a slap on his butt and the two stripped in the open locker room.

Jack asked if they preferred jockstraps or boxers. "Jockstrap," Michael replied. "Fuckin' nothin'" replied Charles. Jack laughed, tossed them both some soccer socks and handed Michael a jockstrap.

"Cool haircuts ya got ther, mates. Is like the rest of ya 'ody anarl shorn as ya neck?" Michael laughed, holding his arms behind his head and showing off the bush under his armpits. "Nit canny, mate" Jack laughed again and came up with a pair of leather jeans for Charles and a pair of bleached jeans for Michael.

"Ya guys train hard for ya 'odies, or is like workin' on the docks enough to get a 'ody like that?"

"Nah, mate! just haulin' loads ain't enough. It takes regular 'oxin' trainin' to get an arse n' a six pack like that"

"Sure, i get it! all that 'eer in the evenin' needs to be worked off too, after all."

Mike and Chuck stroked each other's board-hard washboard bellies and French-kissed deeply.

"Hey, the place isn't closed yet. Ne way sex while i still havta work!"

Chuck grabbed Jack's crotch and told him to lock the door quickly then. He wouldn't be able to hold back much longer.

Jack tossed them both T-shirts, locked the door, and returned with a pair of DocMartens for Mike and a pair of combat boots for Chuck. And while the two of them got down on their knees to lace up the shoes, Jack got his dick out of his pants. Mike and Chuck promptly responded and began sucking Jack's balls.

"Hehehe, this like isn't the first time ya two hav done this like, huh? Dee ya guys always work together as hustlers? Or 'an ya be 'ooked separately?"

"Sure ya 'an get us separately" replied chuck. "But the other one watches n' jerks off" Mike added n' started suckin' jack's cock.

"Fuck, ya guys are mint! Why are ya still workin' on the docks anyway. As hustlers ya must be earnin' yourselves silly."

"Mate, us're just gay too. Just 'an't handle money. What us earn, us drink or gamble away."

And Mike added that cigarettes are not free. Whether he would get at least one for the blowjob.

Mike and Chuck were satisfied. Jack was always generous when they needed new clothes. And as a rule, he also found them good customers. In the hotel diagonally across the street there was such a nerd event. Some of the snobby guys would surely spend dough for a night with the two of them.

#male tf #reality change #leather tf #age reduction #chav tf #male transformation

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enchantedbarnes · 1 year

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Uncle Buck • Part 3

Lord of the Pins

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Single Aunt!Reader

Summary: A mysterious text leads Bucky to a local bowling alley.

Word Count: 2,213

Masterlist: One | Two | Three | Four | Five

A/N: since you've all been so nice 😭 here's some more wholesome content for you. Thank you @sjsmith56 for the bowling suggestion. If anyone else has ideas they'd like to see you can send them to my asks and maaaaybe you'll get lucky with some more parts to this. Wishing you all happy holidays! Thanks again for being so awesome 🫶💖

Bucky Barnes wonders what he has gotten himself into this time.

He had received a text that read:

"Bucky. super inportant meet up. please be there @ 3. Thx!!!! 👋 "

Followed by an address pinned to a local bowling alley called Balls to the Wall.

The number was unknown.

He tried to reply asking "who is this?" but it never marked itself as delivered.

It was now 2:45pm and Bucky has been waiting for any sign of why he was here. He kept to the outskirts of the entrance where he found a small bench that gave him a view to see everyone entering the building.

He probably could have called Sam or Torres to ask if they could help track the phone number but the thought of dealing with either of them today sounded more exhausting than dealing with whatever mystery awaited him.

"Bucky..?" A soft voice called out.

He turned to identify the voice and then stood up quickly. "Y/N?" His face lights up slightly but he's still confused, "Um, Hey..."

"What are you-"

"Were you the one-?"

They both start at the same time.

Bucky holds his arm out, signaling for her to continue first.

"What are you doing here? Are you here to bowl..?"

He scratches the back of his neck slightly, "Um, no, not exactly... I was about to ask if you were the one that told me to come here. I got a text earlier saying to meet here at 3pm but I couldn't reply to it and they didn't leave a name or really much info to go with it..."

"Do you... usually show up to places random strangers send you..? Do I have to explain stranger danger to you, Buck?" You squinted at him with a smile, "Do you still have the text, can I see?"

He grins, "Well, I can't say I've received a text like this before. I did, however, get an email once from a bank director in Canada that was looking to send me inheritance from a long lost uncle that passed away and I'm the only next of kin they could track down. I gave them my banking information so I'm sure I should be getting that 9.2 million dollars any day now." Pulling his phone out he opens the mystery text and hands it to you.

"Wow! How fortunate for you!" You joke back while taking the phone from him. "The bank must have tracked back pretty far to find you.. How old was the uncle?? 130?" You smirk.

"Ha-ha. Funny. And to think I was going to give you a million out of the kindness of my very generous heart," he tsks.

"Oh? That's fine, I have an evil genius in the family that is going to make us millions someday anyways. That or he'll marry me into it, don't let him know about all your pending riches unless you want another proposal inquiry," you laugh and then look down at his phone.

"I don't recognize the number either.. it's a strange area code. Did you try googling it?"

"...No? I didn't know that was an option.."

"Sometimes it'll tell you a name but not always, usually it will just say where the area code is from," she hands the phone back to him.

"So why are you here? Are you here to go bowling by yourself..?" Bucky asks, his head tilted slightly.

"No, I'm meeting my sister and the gang here. We usually try to meet up at least once a month to do something together o--."

"FUTURE UNCLE BUCKY!"

A small laugh escapes from Bucky. He knows exactly who the text was from now. Of course the small one would be involved.

Benji runs full force, stopping short in front of Bucky and his Aunt.

"YOU MADE IT!" He jumps up in excitement.

Realization hits Y/N next, "Benjamin, did you text Bucky to meet us here??"

"Well, you guys said Monty couldn't make it and that means we would be short a team member...sooo," he gestures towards Bucky with wide Vanna White enthusiastic movements.

"How did you even-?" You start to ask but Nora beats you to it.

"Excuse me, you don't have a phone. How exactly did you contact Bucky and HOW did you know his phone number??"

"Please, Mom. I'm a kid, not an idiot. I found his number in Aunt Y/N's phone and I texted him from my tablet."

"We will be discussing this later," she sighs.

"You'll join our team, won't you, Bucky?" Benji looks up at him with an exaggerated pout and big puss in boot eyes. A low-blow to any adult that receives the look.

"I don't want to intrude on family time.."

"Nonsense!" Nora exclaims, "he already dragged you out here- I'm really sorry about that by the way. Please feel free to join us, we'd love to have you!" She grabs Benji by the shoulders and steers him towards the entrance, "When Dad gets here you have a lot of explaining to do, Mister."

Bucky looks over at Y/N.

"Like Nora said, please feel free to join us. Or feel free to run for the hills. I'm so sorry if you had plans already today."

"I had already finished everything I needed to do today when the message showed up," he shrugs.

"Well, do you have any bowling experience?"

"A few times back in the day. Haven't been since though."

"Fair warning, I'm very competitive. If you're going to be on my team, I don't like to lose," you grin.

"Isn't Benji on your team?"

"Yeah, and I got lucky. We had to draw straws for him. Kid is unstoppable. Watched a bunch of YouTube videos and suddenly he was a bowling prodigy."

"Well, now I need to join, gotta see these skills. Do you think the text was his only shenanigan today or do you think a ring will be inside one of the bowling balls?" He smirks.

You blush slightly but laugh with him, "I can make absolutely no promises. Thank you for being such a good sport about it and not filing a restraining order on us."

He laughs, "The only restraining order I'd consider at the moment is on a raccoon hell bent to get my arm," he lifts his left arm slightly.

"Oh, I'm definitely going to need more details on this please."

He laughs holding his right hand out for you to take and both of you start to walk towards the entrance.

"Is anyone else joining in?" Bucky asks you.

"My brother-in-law, Theo, is on his way here now and my best friend is also joining. Prudence is essentially a 2nd sister. Her boyfriend Monty is usually with us too, but he had to drop out to cover a shift at his job."

You both grab some bowling shoes on your way in and make your way over to the lanes.

Benji skips over, "So Bucky, with your super soldier strength and all, are you able to bowl without throwing the ball through the wall?"

"One way to find out," he smirks down at him and takes a seat to switch his boots for the bowling shoes.

"The place is called Balls to the Walls, not Balls through the Wall, got it?" you point at them while taking your jacket off revealing a shirt that says "Rollin' with my homies" that matched Benji's shirt that simply said "Homie" on the front.

Bucky reads both of them and chuckles. You look down and shrug looking back up at him, "It was a gift from Benj. We also wear them when we do other activities like roller skating and mini golfing."

Bucky smiled at that, enjoying how close they all seemed to be as a family.

Eventually Theo and Prudence joined, Benji introducing Bucky to both of them with his usual enthusiasm. Ecstatic to have the super soldier on his team.

Theo shakes his hand, "Nice to meet you, heard many things. I'm apologizing now before I find out how you ended up here today," he smiles and walks over to hug the rest of the crew.

Prudence walks by shortly after mouthing "Oh. My. God!" at you as she greets Bucky as well, bringing him into a huge hug.

You all start entering your names into the scoreboard.

Y/N, Benji, and Bucky declared their team Lord of the Pins while Nora, Theo, and Prudence were The Britney Spares.

Prudence prepares to go up first, only knocking 2 pins down.

"What I lack in skill, I make up for in heart, ok?" She reasons while sitting down.

A few turns go by, Benji scoring a spare on his first turn, Nora trying a throw from under her legs.

Benji excitedly follows Bucky up on his first turn, giving him a quick pep talk while coaching him on the essentials of his favorite throwing techniques.

They both hold incredibly still while they watch the ball fly down the lane. The pins all fall over and STRIKE appears on the screens. Everyone cheers, Benji jumps up and down and they both high-five in victory.

Benji runs back to the benches while shouting to his dad, "Did you see that?! We're sooo going to kick your butts!" He starts doing his own little victory dance.

Bucky walks over to you with a smile. You grin and shrug, "I guess you can stay on the team."

Benji sits down next to Prudence as she looks over and smiles at the scene in front of her. Y/N and Bucky were standing near the ball return, a ball in her hand while waiting for her turn after Theo. She was laughing at something Bucky said and they were both making animated gestures as they talked.

"Look at them in their own little bubble over there. They look so happy and adorable. Good one, Benj." She stretches her hand over to him to exchange a low high-five out of sight.

"I know," he moves his shoulders up and down while wiggling his eyebrows.

"You still lost your tablet privileges for the weekend," Nora sings as she walks by.

"Aw, come on Mommm!"

Benji is on his last turn following Prudence. He already has 2 strikes before this turn, making this turn his chance to score a Turkey (3 strikes in a row) AND get an extra turn if he does get a strike.

Concentrating on the lane ahead of him, the ball lined up in front of his face. After a moment he takes a few steps forward winding up his shot, letting go in his perfect bowling pose, one arm up in the air and one leg sticking out behind him.

Three perfectly spaced out pins survive in a triple split.

His little shoulders slump.

"You've got this Benji!" Prudence cheers.

The rest of you start cheering and clapping as well.

"Aunt Y/N?" Benji asks.

"Yeah, Bud?"

"If I get a spare on this throw, will you and Bucky take me to get ice cream tomorrow?" The puss in boots eyes have engaged again.

You look over at Bucky, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, ice cream sounds less expensive than a wedding to me," Bucky answers quietly to you.

You laugh, "Ok, deal."

Benji grins, turning back around.

He goes through his usual steps but takes an extra few seconds of concentration this time.

He throws the ball watching it curve slightly, it hits the middle pin and left pin knocking them down while the middle pin then bounds over and takes out the right pin.

Your group erupts in loud cheers. Benji jumps up and down while shouting and doing his victory dance. Theo runs over lifting him up to his shoulders.

"Told you," you say looking over to Bucky, "bowling prodigy," you point over at Benji.

Theo lowers him back to the ground. Benji is already listing the flavors of ice cream he wants and how many scoops and toppings.

Nora, Theo, and Bucky finish their last turns with decent scores.

You go up for your last round earning a spare, but it's not nearly as exciting as Benji's.

Joining in high-fives you all start switching shoes.

"Alright, Lord of the Pins, you earned yourselves some pizza," Theo announces to Benji while handing him his sneakers.

"Can we get the one that has everything on it??"

"Sure, why not. When you say everything, we're talking about the one with sardines, liver, and mushrooms, right?"

"No! That's not the one!-"

"Too late, I already ordered it," he joked but hasn't touched his phone yet.

Your usual pizza spot was a block away from the bowling alley. With your shoes and coat already back on you turn to Bucky who is also ready and waiting, "If we haven't taken up enough of your time today, would you like to stay and join us for dinner?"

"Would you like to stay forever?!" You hear Benji's voice shout from behind both of you.

You cover your face and both of you laugh, "Sure, I'd love some sardines, liver, and mushroom pizza," he jokes.

"Yuck!" Benji answers back.

Bucky offers his hand again, you smile and lace your fingers together and follow the rest out.

@pono-pura-vida @bitchy-bi-trash @random-writer-23 @jvanilly @clintsupremacy @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction @firstcashheroathlete @stany0url0calwh0res111 @sjsmith56 @charlottka9339 @eliwinchester99 @tbhidkbutok @babymady @shaking-a-jar-of-bees @its-daydreamer23 @capswife @thecubanator2 @wintermunsonreads @buckybarnessimpp @moon-light1928 @emily-roberts @jeanbarton @lottiehernandez @tellenically @trixxietat @imdoingbetternow @maximoffrogersslut @samsgirl93 @lovebittenbyevans @inwhichiramble

#bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky fanfiction #marvel fic #uncle buck fic

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bigification · 4 months

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Coach's New Uniforms

"What's Tubbo doing in the dugout?" Adam mumbled to his teammate as he arrived to his baseball match. "Hey buddy, I think you got a bit lost. You wandered into our dugout." Adam said in a degrading voice. The man turned around to face him, heaving his massive gut as he turned. "Oh, you must be the captain, Adam. The names Weller, Coach Weller." He reached out for a hand shake with a wide smile. Stunned, Adam eyed Weller up and down while reciprocating the shake, taking note of how plump the man's fingers felt. "Ughh, what happened to Coach Stinger. And... Are you sure your his replacement." Adam said while staring blankly into Wellers stomach. "No idea, they just asked me to show up." Weller responded, feigning ignorance to the not so subtle jab at his appearance. "Regardless, the game starts soon, we should get ready. It looks like most of the team has arrived."

The team began their typical stretching routine, most of the team unbothered by the coach change as they changed coach's a lot. Although Adam felt something off about their new coach, besides his reservations about his weight. He kept an eye on Weller throughout the stretching routine, catching him staring intently at the team as they stretched before looking away when Adam noticed.

The rest of the match went by smoothly. Coach Weller actually had good advice and much to Adams dismay, Weller made for a pretty good coach. The team they were facing was significantly worse than them, so the game wasn't too stressful, just one to boost their stats.

The team huddled around Coach Weller after the match. Hoping to get a bit more information on their new coach. "Good game boys! It was an easy win, but you guys still played great. By the way, I ordered new uniforms for you guys, they should be delivered soon. I expect you to wear them to the next practice." Coach Weller said before promptly leaving. The rest of the team made their way home, slightly confused by Weller acting strange.

Later that night, Adam took to his computer to look into Weller. Searching 'coach weller' into Google popped up a ton of news articles about him. 'Baseball prospect snuffed last minute' 'Baseball pro let's himself go after thought rejection' 'From fit to fat, former baseball pro hospitalized for conditions related to obesity'. Article after article telling a tragic story, almost making him feel bad. "I was wondering how anyone could even get that fat, but I guess that explains it." It also explained why he actually knew his shit, and why he kept staring at his teammates. "He's just jealous of what could have been his life, that explains the staring." Adam thought to himself.

The next morning rolled around, Adam jumped out of bed, late for practice. He ran to his closet and grabbed the new uniform he got in the mail the night before. He ran out of his room, only in his black boxers. He threw on the baseball shirt, noting that it did not fit him at all. Probably some one size fits all kinda thing, but he didn't have time to worry about it. He grabbed his pants and tried to pull them up his legs, but they got snagged on something. He pulled them up again, but they just wouldn't go past his ass. "What the hell! Did they shrink in the wash?" He said, annoyed. He looked down to see what was wrong. "What the fuck!" He yelled out. He couldn't even see his pants because his gut blocked his view of them. He grabbed at the fat that was piling onto his stomach, it was real. Adam freaked out as his belly grew and grew. He started to look pregnant, then it started to look like a beach ball was stuck in his stomach. It all happened so fast. He stumbled back, knocking into the gym equipment he had in his living room. The new weight distribution of his massive gut almost made him fall over, but he managed to stay in his feet. He grabbed onto his bench press, hoping to regain some balance. "My hands, they're massive!?" He yelled as he saw his giant fat filled hands. His eyes drifted up to his biceps. He was visibly shocked as he looked at his hulking biceps. Even the fat in his arms just made them look stronger. It made him feel like maybe this wasn't the end of the world.

Once Adam had gotten over the shock of the situation, he got up and turned towards his mirror. At first it shocked him, his gut was so imposing. It was probably the first thing you would notice about him, and it made him feel so strong. He didn't care for the man boobs he now had, but it was a good trade off for his massive arms. He analysed his round face and his scruffy beard, he felt so intimidating. He lifted up his gut and looked at his thick thighs and plump ass. He was surprised by how little his body sagged under its own weight all things considered, but he sure as hell did not mind. He could even see the large outline of his dick under his boxers. "Heh, nice!" He chuckled

"Right, practice." He remembered that he was almost late for practice. He tried putting on his pants which... Suddenly fit. At first he was confused as they didn't fit just a moment earlier, but then he remembered that he had always been a size 40 waist and his baseball pants had always fit him. He buttoned up his shirt as it now perfectly wrapped around his gut. He looked at himself in the mirror one last time and smiled.

Adam hopped in his tiny car and rolled his seat back before rushing to practice. "What's a good captain if he can't even show up on time." He scolds himself.

He serves into the parking lot and runs out to the dugout, shocked by how out of breath he is from the short jog. "Lookin good captain!" His boys yelled out to him. He passed his coach, just as big as ever, and then met up with his team. For a moment he was shocked. They all must have been at least 300 pounds. Each of them with guts spilling out of their uniforms and sporting big bushy beards. But then the memories of playing with them for the season flooded into his mind. They had always been the fattest in the league. They huddled up, all with their guts squished between them. "Let's show coach Weller that a big team like us can play with the skinny guys." Adam patted his teammates on the back.

Coach Weller crossed his arms and smiled while he watched the team of obese men struggle to make it to first base without needing to take a rest.

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kebriones · 4 months

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Commentary on every painting of Alcibiades' death I could find on google

what is up with these painters and giving people only helmets and no other armor. Yes in the story he was naked. I doubt he'd prop his helmet up on his head before running out of a burning house. Storytelling aside, Kinda like how timandra's (?) clothes are having a dramatic moment, like the assassins'. And I like her hairstyle. I do also genunely like that the artist chose to show his sword being about to slip from his hand. What I don't like is the choice of penis covering. The red cloth was right there, just use that oh my god.

ah. David, I was expecting something bettter from you. Why did timandra lose her nipple privileges. I like the dead dudes on the floor though and the insane floor choice.

I really like the muscle rendering here and that the artist went for the less famous version where alcibiades has a male companion with him. and ugh.... idk I don't like his face. moving on

I've said before that I like how he's gripping the stone in this one. and I do like his face. I once again have to ask old artists to cut it out with the helmets, thank you. That's an enormous arrow going through my poor boy . I like that we have a bunch of blood here. and well this is maybe a step up in terms of penis covering. better that the flowers at least. I like his huge ear that's probably supporting the entire weight of the helmet.

They shouldn't have mopped the marble floors, my man SLIPPED. I actually think this is one of my faves, though the fact that the guy is about to stab him with the arrow instead of using the bow he's holding is kinda stupid. Timandra is at least trying a little here. I do like this alcibiades face

this one I haven't seen before, but I like that he's got proper long hair. That arrow going through his thigh looks like it's pierced just under the skin. also he's in the woods?

omg timandra do something, he's literally dying ahsdvhgah I love this it's so silly. He's appropriately dramatic. To be fair that probably hurts a lot. But hey, he's dressed here for some reason. Lost his boob out privilege.

this is a HUGE ARROW WTF also look here he's wearing proper armor and a double-crested helmet :D is he holding a stress ball in his left hand? That's understandable, I would also need some stress relief if people came to kill me in the middle of the night. Anyways slippery floors seem to be his largest enemy, he constatly looks like he slipped in these drawings.

he's 100% drunk out of his mind in this one, I can tell.

#alcibiades

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littlelambscandyland · 13 days

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Four Versus One (Part One)

Platonic Yandere Rise Brothers x Fem!Reader

Warnings- Tv Self Awareness, Panic Attacks, Reader has siblings and a niece, Stalking (if you count watching someone thru a screen without their knowledge as stalking)

You lounged gingerly on the couch. Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles droning on as your niece starred in wonderment at the screen. You'd introduced her to the show as means to get her to stop making you watch (insert stupid show here). You told your sibling you'd watch over them the next few days as the birth of their second child happened. Today felt like it went on a bit longer. Tonight was the last night that your niece would be here.

You couldn't say you didn't have fun. The show you stopped watching years ago was now, apparently, coming out with new episodes and you and your niece hyper fixated on it hard. With all that said, however, you were glad to get your space back. Glad to have your own little bubble of childishness without the responsibility of another human.

Deciding it was a calm enough scene not to be missed, you got up to get a well needed snack.

Calling into your niece. "You want anything from the kitchen, chicken pop?"

She giggles at the odd, but well deserved nickname, and asks you for orange juice.

After pouring drinks and grabbing popcorn you made your way back to the living room. The scene had switched to Donatello's lab. They were making some sort of gun. Words like "portal" and "interdimensional travel" were being thrown around.

You wondered slightly as you laid the snacks out what this weapon had to do with anything. The episode didn't seem to call for it, but maybe you missed a more vital scene than you thought?

You thought a bit more as you watched the show how different it was from what you remembered. There were more fourth wall breaks and sometimes one of the turtles would randomly throw out compliments to the watcher.

Not that you minded the change. It was just different. Nice, but different.

~~~Time skip brought to you buy me writing this in my therapy waiting room~~~

You had successfully made the trade off of your niece, delivering her back into the hands of one of her parents. You'd cleaned up the house, and finally felt yourself relax.

You had turned the tv off for a little while. A part of your agreement with your niece to wait to watch the show again together. Obviously, that was a lie. You had turned the tv back on after cleaning. Ordering a pizza and deciding to have a "me night".

There was something you noticed when you turned it back on though. The fourth wall breaks and the compliments happen more often. The plot seemed thrown out the window and everything seemed almost more mature than before.

Because of all of this you made the executive decision to Google it. It'd been a while since you'd been a part of the fandom so you figured it'd be quicker just to get straight to the point.

You felt your heart drop from what you read. Confusion and honest panic grew in its place. There were only two seasons. That was impossible. There were obviously more. What had you been watching?

"Uh ohhhhhh," You heard Leonardo's voice drone. "Hey guys, I thinks she's figured it out!" He calls his brothers.

Your eyes wide as the character seems to stare into your soul. The others gather into the screen. A mixture of smiles and anxiety are what stared back with animated eyes.

"I see. So she did... Ahem. Greetings, Darling!" Donatello says, clearly staving off his own anxiety.

"Hi..." You answer. You hoped this was a dream. Fear wrapped up into a ball in your gut. A feeling telling you to cut off the tv, to run far away and not look back ever again.

"Awww! She's so cute! Look at her eyes, they're so pretty!" Michaelangelo exclaims happily.

"We know dude. You're so cute doll. Really you are." Raphael addresses you with a nervous smile.

You look down in panic. The only logical thought is you had lost your mind. This is a dream, or you've snapped and this was a hallucination.

"What is happening?" You pant out. "This isn't happening. This cannot be happening..." Your breath ragged, and your voice hoarse. Tears gathering in your eyes.

They're faces shift in remorse and panic. Four animated eyes looking guiltily at you with frowns. Grimaces held by all as your body flies into a panic attack.

"Oh no, no. Don't cry, it's ok cariño. You're ok..." Leonardo coos at you in an attempt to calm you.

The others gather in on the "comfort". They're words prove worthless as you spiral further.

Finally gathering the courage you throw your phone at the tv in a frenzy. Perhaps not the best choice as the momentum and pressure crack your tv. Fizzles heard from inside the machine can be heard as the broken screen cuts off.

Sad for you, your nightmare doesn't end there.

#age regression #age regressor #little space #forced agere #yandere agere #platonic yandere rottmnt #Platonic rottmnt x reader #platonic donatello x reader agere #platonic michaelangelo x reader agere #platonic leonardo x reader agere #platonic raphael x reader agere

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welcomehomerandomness · 2 months

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Welcome Home Website Update Reaction Notes (3/9/2024) Part 1 (SPOILERS)

Hey guys! Today I'm gonna show you my reactions to the Welcome Home website via my notes on Google Docs. I wrote 5 pages and spent around a few hours exploring the website lol. Hope you enjoy it! Here's Part 1!

NEW HOME ART IT'S SNOWING

Wally’s Christmas outfit makes him look like he’s ready to work at the North Pole lol

I also love how the little doodles are very Christmas-like

THE VISITOR COUNT THINGIE IS BROKEN

Idk if it’s intentional or if it’s actually broken lol

THE NEIGHBORHOOD HAD SOME FEW CHANGES WHAT

THEY’RE ALL DECORATED FOR CHRISTMAS (or in this world they seem to call it “Housewarming” which is pretty fitting)

Also “Happy Housewarming” and “Welcome Pillar Family”??? WE GET TO MEET HOWDY’S FAMILY???

I remember seeing Clown’s post that there’s going to be a new voice actor in Welcome Home so I’m wondering if the new voice actor is voicing one of Howdy’s relatives I can’t wait to find out

Also is that a clock tower at the bottom??? It looks like a clock tower lol

Also the clock tower’s faces looks like Yellow Guy from Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared lol

Wally has painted something on the empty canvas…Is that a cup or a genie lamp? Please let me know what this is lol

New Wally information added: “Home is the reason behind the creation of ‘Homewarming,’ a holiday created by Wally.”

New Barnaby information added: “Similar sources, such as Barnaby’s Joke Kit in ‘The Welcome Home Wishbook,’ noted Barnaby being able to perform a gaggle of tricks, such as juggling, balancing on a ball, and steadying large objects on the tip of his nose.”

I think Barnaby’s Joke Kit is a new merchandise that the Playfellow Exhibition uncovered but we’ll see later

New Julie information added: “Many of her skits and activities centered around playing games, whether they were as familiar as jump rope and hopscotch or simply made up on a whim. ( See ‘The Welcome Home Wishbook.’ )” and “Hibernation may be another descriptor of this cartoon species, as uncovered media surrounding the holiday of ‘Homewarming’ depicted Julie hibernating throughout the winter. Akin to Barnaby, Julie’s paws also have hearts at the bottom.”

So basically Julie and her family hibernate and she has paws that have hearts in the bottom??? Interesting…

New Frank information added: “Some audio, such as in the vinyl record titled, ‘Homewarming,’ presents a strange sound that can be heard accompanying Frank’s vocals and could imply his head rotating.”

…Frank??? Are you ok??? I’m scared…

Also I just realized that at the end of their profiles so far, it shows how the puppets operate except for Wally (which is sus)

“It is assumed Barnaby’s puppet was rotated between a live-hand puppet and a walk-around puppet, typically to keep him in frame with his much shorter neighbors and requiring two puppeteers.”

“Julie is believed to be a puppet operated by one handler.”

“Frank is believed to be a puppet operated by one handler.”

Eddie doesn’t seem to have new information added except that he “...was a live-hand puppet who required two puppeteers to operate.”

HOWDY I MISS YOU

New Howdy information added: “Within the vinyl record, ‘Howdy’s Holiday Hullabaloo,’ one can see a ‘quarter of a wiggle’ of them.”

I don’t know what that really means but I can’t wait to hear (or maybe see) Howdy again

“Howdy’s puppet was rotated between a live-hand puppet and a walk-around puppet in order to keep him in frame with his fellow residents, requiring two or more puppeteers.”

If I was a puppeteer and got hired by the creators of Welcome Home, I would work with the Howdy puppet lol

SALLY’S BACK TO NORMAL…but I’m still worried about her…

New Sally information added: “In recently uncovered material and archived footage, Sally is shown to be able to literally shine or glow in the dark, although it is unclear if a similar effect was applied to the puppet. Concept artwork revealed that Sally was a live-hand puppet that required two or three puppeteers to operate due to the size of her head, as it was much larger than other puppets.”

I wonder if a toy exists somewhere where it’s a Sally plush that talks and glows in the dark…That would be sick and I would buy it immediately and use her as my new cuddle buddy/night light…

New Poppy information added: “Poppy was rarely seen outside of her barn, typically being visited by neighbors instead, and has no material, illustrated or otherwise, showing her outdoors. This is further proven in found footage where Poppy is excluded (for unclear reasons) from Wally’s Homewarming party.” and “Within the context of the show, this was because she was too scared to use appliances. This also may be the reason why she is a vegetarian, according to “The Welcome Home Cookbook” that depicted an only sunflower seed turkey.”

Poppy is excluded??? For unclear reasons???

I’m worried about Poppy now…

“Poppy’s puppet is a walk around puppet that concept work noted stood at around eight feet tall, but photographs showing her height have yet to be uncovered.”

Also the clock tower doesn’t seem to be clickable…sad

Omg the neighbors have little snow globe stickers awww

WAIT A MINUTE HOLD UP

IS THAT TWO OF HOWDY’S FAMILY MEMBERS IN HIS SNOW GLOBE??? WHAT???

I’m guessing they’re either his parents or one of his uncles and aunts…But we’ll see…

In the About Us section, there’s a new question which is “This isn’t the same website as before. Why did you move it?” and a doodle next to the question…Interesting…

I checked the News section and I only see half of the title “Latest Headlines and Updates for Welcome Home!”...I wonder if that’s a mistake or if that was on purpose…

“I apologize about the date on the most recent news post. I assumed it was still December. I’m not sure how this could have happened. The individual who posted this must not have been paying proper attention. Please pay it no mind, have a wonderful day! Happy spring! Almost as good as Homewarming!”...That seems kinda sus

THE WALLY PHONE CALL AUDIO IS GONE

“(NOTE: The audio for Wally Darling is experiencing a glitch and has been temporarily taken offline. Please be patient as we work to restore this as soon as we possibly can!)”

The Official Welcome Home Cookbook!!!

I want to get one of these copies so bad

Also it has a doodle next to the title of the cookbook lol

Now it’s time to listen to The Welcome Home Wish Book here we gooooo

Also is the doodle next to the title a cigarette???

ALSO SANTA IS IN THIS???

Santa is the best Welcome Home character fight me

Who’s Howdy? I don’t know him…I only know Santa

I love whoever voices Santa…It definitely fits him

MOM CAN I GET A HOWDY CASH REGISTER SET??? I NEED IT TO SCAM MY FRIENDS!!!/j

NO NOT EDDIE

SANTA WHYYYYY

Actually let’s not blame Santa let’s blame the “static and muddled sound” in the radio that cut off Eddie’s gift

Anyways

The “Homewarming” Storybook Record!!! Yayyy!!! Let’s go!!!

Oh it’s a different narrator this time…The voice reminds me of an old grandpa telling his grandchildren a Christmas story…

“The hubbub is that the Homewarming party is tonight, Barnaby. But I don’t think I know how to do Homewarming right… What should I do? What if I do it wrong? What if it makes Home sad?” Awww Wally…

“Hello, Wally. Barnaby.” Frank is so sassy love them

“Hiya Jewels! Frank.” Barnaby LMAO

“With fire wood, kindling- Home would probably like to be warm in all this cold weather, just like this bug!” I’m sorry but my crack brain imagines Wally accidentally burning Home down what is wrong with me lol

#welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home spoilers #wally darling #barnaby b beagle #julie joyful #frank frankly #eddie dear #howdy pillar #sally starlet #poppy partridge #welcome home home

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smoshidiot · 5 months

Text

hey guys: i ranked every smosh video

yes, every. single. smosh video. (every main channel sketch from 2005-2017 + 2023)

here it is under the cut if for some damn reason you're curious

♡ ABSOLUTE FAVES ♡ Paranormal Easy Bake Oven Sleepwalking Disaster Mortal Kombat Theme Food Battle 2006 Food Battle 2023 The Legend of Zelda Rap Axe Murderer Battleship Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme Boxman's Girlfriend Pokemon Theme Ian's Birthday Anthony Gets a Haircut Pokemon Theme REVENGE That Damn Neighbor Assassins Creed 3 Song My Dead Friend Boxman 2.0 Boxman Smosh Short 1: Dolls Unitarded A Very Hairy Situation w/Billy Mays Anthony is Mexican Left Handed Magic Keyboard Food Battle 2007 That Damn Yard Sale Four Years Foreplay Pokemon In Real Life Stuck in a Toilet My Mom's AMAZING Video Sex Ed Rocks Going to the Mountains Stop Copying Me! Cursed Magic 8 Ball We Rule High School Dixon Cider Smosh the Movie Real Death Note Firetruck I Broke My Foot 1 Hour Special Ghostmates Food Battle 2008 The Ultimate Shoedown WTF! I'm Old! Food Battle 2010 Dolls: 10 Years Later The Real Party Song Kiss Currency PRETTY DAMN GOOD

Smash Rap Molester Moon Hand Bomb Sleeping Pill Disaster My Grandpa's Dirty Secret Food Battle 2011 Quest for the Scooter Smosh Found Dead Garrett's Blog How Not to Act on a First Date Longest Staring Contest Ever Extreme Sleepover Hardcore Max Real Voodoo Doll He's Driving Me Crazy First Person Shooters Suck Drink Your Own Piss Parents SuckWe're Stuck Together We Finally Released Our Banned Video Boxman for President Cat Soup I Caught Every Pokemon Ian is Dangerous Ian's First Girlfriend Ian Gets Lucky Manspider Happy Cow Food Battle 2012 Pizza Zombies Food Battle 2013 Evil Fortune Cookie Hardcore Max 2 Food Battle 2014 License Test Toy Airplane Food Battle X Finger Guns Google Glass SUCKS My Mutant Rash The NEW Smosh TV Show That Damn Shower EDITOR! Camp in a Van Sexual Sun Every Smosh Video Ever Addicted to Selfies Hide and Seek My Best Friend is a Robot How Google's Space Ship Failed Business Boy Emoji Curse Human Pokemon Battle Rejected Zelda Games We're Stuck in Fan Fiction

I LIKED THIS ONE

A Hairy Situation w/ Billy Mays Anthony's Death That Damn Prison Break Anthony's Resurrection Evil AI Tried to Kill Me We Summoned a Demon Help I Became an NPC Stranded Transformers Theme How Not to Make a First Impression The Best Car EVER Reunited? The HauntingMale Model Replacement Needed Easy Step April First Evil Chain Letter Power Rangers Theme Life as Ghosts Ep 1-4 Crybaby I'm Not Racist Pokemon In Real Life 2 The BEST Bottled Water Meeting My Identical Twin I Killed the Tooth Fairy Guys' Guide to Hugging Guys My Real Pet Pikachu Homeless Millionaire The Ditto - Movie Trailer Meat In Your Mouth I Love Lou Ferigno Anthony Poses for Playgirl?! Vader and Me Killer Teddy Bear That Damn Punishment Arm Wrestling TO THE DEATH If Superheroes Were Real Worst Twist Endings Ever I'm Naked Pokemon In Real Life 3 How to Cover Up a Murder The World's First Internet Tutorial Motion Games Suck I'm Possessed By a Demon Addicted to Honey Boo Boo Child My New Best Friend is a Robot My Weird Addiction Food Battle 2013 Assassins Creed 4 Song So Many Hickies Guns Suck My Morning Routine Guy's Guide to Being Manly Jurassic Pokemon Magic iPad 21 Things I'd Rather Do Than Smoke Netflix Rap Video Game Items In Real Life My Hot Online Girlfriend Murder Party

#i'm gonna do this in a few parts #bc obviously it's long as fuck #smosh #shut up.txt

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writergirl3 · 1 year

Text

Jesse’s Pottery Class; 4 Town x Reader

Okay so I posted this the other day and it got deleted…🤦🏽‍♀️

Buuut, in belated honour of the manga release, I wanted to post this chaotic piece that I wrote a couple of months back. It was an idea that @4townlove and I chatted about, but this is kinda a sneak-peak. In other words, it’s all I have right now.

Be warned- there is swearing in this (in Spanish), and Google translate dependency. You’ve been warned.

Now…onto the good stuff! 💙

“What?! All I’m saying is that T could’ve been right about there being pepper in Dr Pepper!”

Shaking his head, Robaire gives you a sideways glance as the pair of you stroll through Jesse’s house. Nonetheless, a chuckle tumbles from his lips, “You shouldn’t encourage him, Y/N”

“He could be a genius one day, you never know.”

Before the pair of you can continue bickering about T’s outlandish ideas, your collective attention is taken by the sound of voices coming from Jesse’s art studio.

“So, if you wanna go for a more rounded shape, you gotta manipulate the clay slightly differently.”

“Like this?”

“Yeah, you got it!”

You turn to Robaire, met by an expression that’s just as perplexed as your own. Deciding to explore the situation further, you push open the door.

‘Wholesome’ couldn’t even begin to describe the scene in front of you.

Z sits on Jesse’s potter’s stool, his large hands tentatively cupping the clay on the wheel. Jesse stands over him, face beaming with pride and offering encouraging pointers. Honestly, it’s such a cute moment between the two friends, you wish you could take a photo to preserve the memory. That might’ve been an option, up until Robaire’s interruption of the moment;

“What are y’all doing?”

The verbal inquisition takes the both of them by surprise, and Z’s hands slip. In an instant, his hard work collapses in on itself and he looks at the mess in disbelief. Robaire chuckles uneasily, “Sorry, man.”

You elbow Robaire’s side and Jesse just shakes his head. Heading over to Z, you offer him a friendly hug, wrapping your arm around his broad shoulders from behind. “Poor Z!”

“I already said sorry!” Robaire insists.

“It’s fine,” Z sighs a bit, throwing the clay back on the wheel before offering you a small smile, “I’ll start over.”

Detaching yourself from Z, you wonder over to Jesse. “Robaire’s right, though; what are you both doing?”

Jesse smiles down at you, “Z was feeling a little…anxious,” he carefully explains, “so I thought throwing some clay down might help him.”

Z remains silent, focused on shaping the ball of clay in his hands. Robaire nods in approval, before getting an idea. “Hey, Jess, can you show us too?”

“Really?” Jesse’s surprised to say the least. None of the other guys have really shown that much of an interest in trying their hand at pottery.

“Yeah! It looks fun!” You enthusiastically confirm, taking a seat next to Z, “I wanna make a mug, Tae keeps stealing mine.”

“Ooh, yeah, I wanna make a mug too!” Robaire nods in agreement.

—

“Hey guys! What’s up?”

Tae Young pops his head around the door to the art studio, soon followed by T’s cap-clad chocolate tresses.

“They’re making clay stuff!”

“Hey guys,” Jesse chuckles, “We’re having a pottery lesson.”

Since beginning, you’ve made some solid progress on the mug you’re sculpting. Deciding to go for a larger, balloon shaped piece, you’ve been concentrating on getting the proportions just right.

“Ooooh, can we join?” Tae asks sweetly, mindful of the concentrated silence that’s filled the room.

Jesse nods, “Sure, take a seat.” He begins to guide the two youngest members through the basics, while you and Robaire put the finishing touches to your own projects.

“Everything’s messy,” Robaire whines a bit, examining his hands with vague disgust, “it’s stressing me out.”

You laugh at the perfectionist, actually finding the clay’s softness somehow soothing. “Think it’s just part of the process you gotta accept.”

“Hmm,” Robaire picks bits of wet clay from his fingernails, “I dunno if that’s possible for me.”

“Here,” Z throws Robaire a clean rag as he makes his way back from the kiln. Robaire gives Z a grateful nod, while the latter sits next you. “That’s cool, Y/N.”

You smile over at Z. “Thanks, I still can’t get the shape quite right thou-“

“A LA MIERDA ESTA MIERDA- THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!”

The ear-piercing screech comes from none other than T. It seems that after just two minutes of throwing clay, he’s already demolished his attempts by slamming his hands on the wheel. The action causes wet clay to sputter everywhere, and Robaire grimaces as a fair amount clings to his skin.

“T! Look what you did!” Jesse scolds, hands on hips.

“You all done, T? I’ll fire your bowl.”

Instead of handing over the unfired ceramic dish to Jesse, T clasps it tighter. Looking up at the blonde with somber eyes, T’s bottom lip quivers. “You’re gonna what?”

Jesse’s eyebrows crinkle with confusion, “I’m gonna fire your bowl”

“NO! NOT ON MY WATCH!”

The sudden outburst takes everyone by surprise. In fact, Robaire’s mug splatters everywhere, making even more of a mess, “Goddam-“

“-YOU WON’T GET AWAY WITH THIS!”

T continues ranting, refusing to pass his bowl over to Jesse’s grabbing hands. “T, chill out man!”

“NO! YOU WON’T PUT MY BOWL OUT OF WORK!”

By this point, you and Tae are holding T back in a futile attempt to settle him, but Jesse finally manages to take the dish. Suddenly, you realize T’s confusion.

“T, Jesse’s gonna fire it in the kiln.”

Unfortunately, this doesn’t seem to lessen T’s distress. “YOU’RE KILLING JOEL THE BOWL?” The tussle between T and Jesse continues, the former screeching offensively, “THERE’LL BE CLAY ON YOUR HANDS!”

At that, Z slaps his hand across his face and Robaire looks equally unimpressed. Tae attempts to unravel T’s warped logic, while you’re honestly just trying not to laugh. “T, kiln, not kill!”

After Jesse carefully explains the process of firing T’s bowl to him, and reassures him that no ceramics will be harmed or made redundant in the process, he settles down.

“Thank God, I dunno what I’d do without Joel the bowl.”

“Joel the bowl?” Z snickers, “You named it?”

“It? Is that a polite way to refer to my handmade kitchenware?”

“Yes.”

Jesse sighs. “I’m implementing a new rule: no bickering, shouting or clay slamming in the art studio.”

—

Do you want me to write more for this?

Also, I wondered if anyone would want me to create a tag list on my posts? I’ve been thinking about it for a while. If you wanna be added, lemme know!

Musing Meaninglessly Masterlist

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l-lend · 11 months

Note

Yes please Moto!batch- but I have no idea who’s who, I request a run down of the ocs and their ship >:3c

Alright, a rundown coming up. Let's start with the roster of girls, and @ghostlythunderbird, @kelpiesummer please keep me honest if I misremember. This was all formed after a thicc google doc, long talks about motorcyles

Thunderbird - belonging to @ghostlythunderbird

often referred to as T-Bird, Bird, or Birdie. She is the face of their group Mythic Beauties and their talent being a stunt motorcyclist. Due to personality and preferences Bird is paired off with Crosshair (races motorcycles for the Bad Batch [under GAR motorsports]). I can be corrected later but I think we jokingly called this ship Cross-birb.

Crosshair x T-Bird

Nessie - (oh hey this one's mine)

Sometimes referred to as Nes, she is the one that keeps Bird's bike ready to go for a show. Nessie is really shy even getting to the point where she often gets one of the girls to take notes for her at meetings while she remains in the garage where she's right at home. Leave it to her and her sister, Kelpie, and they'll have a bike hot to trot when it's showtime. Personally I needed the dynamic of 'super shy girl' meets 'guy that's a ball of sunshine', so she's paired with Wrecker (yes he is a cop in this AU. They met when he pulled Nessie over one night for speeding). Also Nessie got her nickname for her friend group never being able to snap a picture of her.

Wrecker x Nessie

Kelpie - belonging to @kelpiesummer

While Nessie is more introverted and interested in mechanics, Kelpie is more extroverted by comparison. The resident designer of the garage, Kelpie's custom wraps always bring a build together. However Kelpie is far from a one trick pony. Often pursuing other artistic media, anyone can tell what kind of project she's working on by how smeared her clothing is. If I remember correctly she would be paired off with Hunter (retired racer who is the primary guardian of Omega).

Hunter x Kelpie

Siren - Collaborative efforts

No company is complete without management. Siren or "Sy" rules the roost and keeps the girls on schedule and the business running. I haven't delved into her too much yet, but she's a touch of a mom friend. I also won't go into details but we decided she'd work best with Echo (retired veteran, who does community work that I've delve into in due time.)

Echo x Siren

Pegasus - Collaborative efforts

To round out the group, they need some content for marketing. In comes their camera girl Pegasus. You can usually catch her in her office hunched over her laptop editing footage together or going through footage from the last stunt show. She is willing to do what it takes to get a good angle and given her expertise in electronics, we shipped her with Tech (engineer by degree, street racer by choice)

Tech x Pegasus

#moto!batch au #mythic beauties OCs

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sarahhillips · 10 months

Text

This Just In; I’m Fried and Continuing My Libertys Kids Marathon

Across the Delaware

Ah yes, the one with the boats.

Ffs can’t you just draw her in a robe or sum

They’re wearing Snuggies

Bro is done and I can’r blame him

I’m sorry Sarah but your snuggie looks like it was skinned from the scrotom of a giant.

Scrotom Snuggie

We’re gonna ruin the Christmas party

Office Christmas Party with the LK characters.

Those beans?

How colonial kids had lunch

Dr. Franklin came to France to fuck French girls

“I just came here to fuck French harlots.”

Washington be strategizing

Hey guys we’re going to war just trust me

Is this dude gonna die

And there they go across a frozen river

The Hessians have no idea.

Oh fuck he fell out.

James you’re a hero. An Orlando Bloom dream boy.

These dudes are SLOSHED

This reminds of of walking through a snowy village

Sarahs got that gentle touch

They’re still wearing their hats but not their uniforms? 😂 Now I can’t help but to think of Hessians attacking while wearing only their hats.

Dude didn’t read his text messages.

Yay ya’ll finally won something

I feel like Sarah should be wearing a fur hood and a wool dress here. And muffs.

Sarah praising Washington shows she’s not biased toward Britain so she’s not a biggot.

An American in Paris

This episode made me underestimate how horrific smallpox actually was.

Google it if you don’t have a weak stomach, but dudes

Smallpox is no joke, thank you science for vaccines.

I’ve never even gotten chicken pox

I used to think chicken pox was something that was supposed to happen to every kid and was confused when I never had it. Well you got your proof there Ben

Henry wants to go to the ball. Moses is like the evil stepmother saying no.

French people dress funny

I love Sarahs friendship with Abigail Adams

Oh hey look there’s Hamilton THAT CHEATING PIG

WHY DO WE NEED A SCENE OF BEN TAKING A FUCKING BATH!?

AND THERE ARE OTHER MEN IN THE BATHROOM WITH HIM

Ingest mercury!? Like fuck

Sarah will volunteer for anything even catching a life threatening illness

We already know this because of the musical

“We gentlemen of low birth.” Ah, so that’s why they click.

Oh, balls.

Bens here so the parties officially begun.

Where is the king. Where’s Marie Antionette?

She could be getting guillotined in front of Henri and he’d be eating strudel while he watched.

Uh oh she’s coughing

That faint wasn’t very convincing

There should be bumps all over her skin

The doctor said ‘Yeah, she might die. Bye’

Arnold has a tavern? Is it like Gastons Tavern?

Looks like he came to get his portrait done too.

What kind of trip is this. They’re trying way too hard to make it freighting

But awwwwww here comes her dad

This scene could have you think that she’s dying and going to Heaven if her father wasn’t alive

And then she finally gets to go on a walk with her father.

Where is Martha? Don’t talk about her if you’re not going to bring her out.

They brought back the sexy doctor.

“Get vaccinated James” quoth Hamilton

I feel like modern day Abigail Adams would be a healthcare worker

#sarah phillips #libertys kids #james hiller #liberty's kids #henri lefebvre #ben franklin #abigail adams #george washington #alexander hamilton

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