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preciouslandmermaid · 2 years

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TOUCH || (carmy x f!reader) [request]

Request: Jealous!Carmy

Touch || Carmy x f!reader

Word count: 2.6k

Content: 18+/Smut/MDNI

Tags: jealousy/possessive!Carmy, hair pulling, established past relationship, oral sex, drinking/intoxication, light angst. (they’re exes who aren’t over each other which makes it spicier).

Note: I barely ever write any jealousy-type things so hopefully this is still fun to read. (ending is opening to interpretation lmao)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jimmy’s wife, Adriana, always threw an extravagant holiday party. (“It’s a Christmas party, honey. Not holiday.” She’d always say whenever you asked about it). You were used to going after your brief time working at The Bear combined with the longer period of dating Carmy. You broke up in November, but Adriana still expected you there.

The risk of seeing Carmy was high, but the risk of pissing off Adriana was higher if you didn’t go.

The wine was expensive, the food plentiful, and the Christmas music blared across the house-wired speakers amidst a thousand conversations happening at once.

Adriana squealed upon seeing you, pulled you in and kissing both your cheeks. She smelled like expensive, heavy perfume. Her earrings sparkled beneath the lights and the diamonds within would cover your rent payment for the next three months.

“Ah! So good to see you, sweetheart.” She patted your cheek with her hand. “You must be starving! Go get some food.”

You slyly checked your wristwatch. You could mingle for an hour and then disappear without hurting anyone’s feelings. You moved through the standing circles of people talking, saying quick hellos to those who recognized you, and hiding your frown whenever they’d ultimately ask “Where’s Carmy? He’s not with you?”

You poured yourself a healthy glass of white wine, took a generous sip, and leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, I can’t stand these things either.” An unfamiliar voice said beside you. You turned to look and discovered a well-groomed, square-jawed, and olive-skinned man with dark brown eyes smiling at you.

“Is it so obvious?”

“The wine gave you away.” He said while slicking back his shoulder-length, sleek dark hair.

You clicked your tongue then, stuck out your hand with a friendly introduction. It was easy enough to fall into conversation with him. Matteo, as he introduced himself, regaled you with stories of his villa in Sicily and his most recent trip to Barcelona. The wine loosened your tongue and you found yourself relaxing despite the nagging worry that Carmy would show up at any second.

You placed a hand over your chest in mock-astonishment. “You have a dog? And you didn’t bring the dog to the party?”

“He’s a puppy! He would chew all of Adriana’s expensive shoes.” Matteo laughed. “Here, let me show you a picture.” He pulled out his phone and swiped over to an album of an adorable, fluffy white Shih tzu. You leaned closer, your chest pressing into Matteo’s arm, and you cooed – cheeks warm from drinking – at the onslaught of cuteness on the phone screen.

“You gave him a bowtie?!” You giggled.

“He and I like to dress sharp.”

You said, “of course you do.” When you pulled away from his side, no longer hovering over his phone, your eyes naturally lifted to the room and a prickle of awareness buzzed down your skin. Your eyes locked onto tired, doleful blue ones. Carmy stood across the kitchen island with a red plastic plate in his hand. He wore a black button-down dress shirt and the same black jeans you’ve seen him wear at work a hundred times. A thousand emotions filtered through your brain and heart.

You missed him. You weren’t supposed to miss him. Your breakup had been the shittiest, most drawn out bullshit you endured this year. Realistically, you and Carmy were done in October, but he dragged his feet and refused to talk to you about anything that was going on. You ran out of patience, and he ran out of excuses. It was a slow-motion breakup that led to a metaphorical car crash. Two dead, no survivors.

Your lungs slowly deflated like a helium balloon. You put on a brave face and refilled your wineglass with a smile.

“I’m going to get some fresh air.” You returned your gaze to Matteo, “you’re welcome to join me.”

Matteo’s hand settled on your lower back, “I will in a moment. I must talk to that fine gentleman over there.” He pointed to an older man in the dining room. He gave you another brilliant, white smile before slipping through the guests like oil. You avoided looking at Carmy as you left the kitchen and escaped through the glass doors leading to the backyard.

The cold, biting air nipped against your exposed legs and arms. You should’ve grabbed your coat before coming outside in midwinter with only a dress on. But you weren’t going to turn back now. You inhaled each frosted breath and tried to clear your warm, fuzzy head.

You needed to drive home. You couldn’t. All because you overestimated the power of Adriana’s fancy wine on an empty stomach. You sank onto the step and leaned your head against the support pillar by the door. Jimmy’s backyard was dusted in snow like powdered sugar. Or cocaine. You snorted into your wineglass.

The door opened behind you, “new boyfriend?” His voice made a flush of warmth erupt across your skin. Carmy sat beside you, and although nothing of his body touched yours, you felt the heat all the same. You took another courageous gulp of wine. Maybe if you blacked out, you’d stop feeling this way. This ache, and hollowness, and pain that echoed inside your chest. You wanted to claw your heart out and toss it, red and bloody, to the wolves. Coming here was a mistake.

“Maybe.” You retorted acidly.

Carmy scoffed and a puff of cigarette smoke swirled in front of your eyes. You tilted your head back and drained the rest of your glass. The wine burned on the way down and it was the only thing worth feeling.

He asked. “Did you eat anything?”

“No.”

“Seriously?” You nearly smiled at his affronted tone. Even before you were dating, Carmy would ask if you’d eaten, especially before the workday started. He’d tease you that you couldn’t survive off coffee alone and then throw something together or improve leftovers and drop them in front of you with a pointed look. You’d make a big show of taking a bite and being dramatic, saying ‘oh my god, I’m saved! I was famished!’ and he’d laugh and call you an asshole. Your heart burned.

“Mhm.” You rested your chin in your palm and finally glanced over at him, “you gonna lecture me?”

“I might.” He flicked the ashes off his cigarette, “you gonna – um – you gonna ask your new boyfriend for a ride home?”

“I think…” You pursed your lips and tried to remember your conversation with Matteo. “He came here on a yacht? So…no.”

You sighed and shrugged. “I’ll just call an Uber.”

“It’s a holiday. You’ll get fucked on surge rates.” Carmy licked his lips, “I can give you a ride.”

You frowned at him, “why’re you being so nice?” If he noticed how you were slurring your words, he didn’t say anything.

“Because…” His hand settled on your bare knee. It was warm, solid, and familiar. Your body leaned into his, shoulder-to-shoulder, and you drank in the sight of him like a starving apostate. “I’d rather take you home than let that asshole do it.” He said, referring to Matteo. His eyes hardened in the dark, cold light and his exhale puffed with condensation between your mouths.

“Carmy…” You elongated his name in your mouth, tasting each letter, and savoring it. “If I didn’t know any better – I’d say you sounded jealous…”

His hand slid from your knee, up along your thigh, and squeezed. “I’m just looking out for you.”

“Such…a gentleman…” You whispered. It was difficult to focus on his face with wine rushing through your veins. You closed your eyes and leaned in – letting your lips brush against his in the lightest, barest touch. Your body ignited like a spark to flame. Carmy’s lips were on yours, urgent and incessant, his hand slipping higher until it was tucked beneath the folds of your dress and at the apex of your thighs. His knuckles stroked against your core. You grabbed his bicep, fingertips digging into the solid, hard muscle and canted your hips against his teasing touch. The bitter cold and the hollowness inside your chest was forgotten. You were alive again, flush with heat and desire, burning as bright as a star in the midwinter sky.

The threat of someone interrupting and breaking the spell loomed over you. You muttered against Carmy’s lips, soft and warm, “will you take me home?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carmy convinced you to drink water on the ride to your apartment. His exact words were: “If you drink all of this, I’ll make it worthwhile.” But then wouldn’t tell you exactly what he was going to do, teasing you and leaving it a mystery, and fuck—you were a sucker for unanswered questions.

You dropped your keys in the bowl near the door and kicked off your heels. You heard the door shut behind you and started pulling the bobby pins from your hair to loosen it from the up-do you styled for the party.

Carmy grabbed you around the waist and you let out a surprised gasp. You stumbled into him, your back to his chest, and one hand cupped your breast while the other locked around your hips and pinned you to him. You couldn’t even squirm free if you tried.

“You wouldn’t have fucked him.” He said before his lips dragged down the side of your throat in hot, open-mouthed kisses. Your face contorted with confusion. It took you longer than a few seconds to realize who he was even talking about. Matteo was a blip of a memory. A smudge on the windshield of life that would wash away in the next snowstorm.

“How do you know?”

His hand massaged your breast and the silken fabric of your dress rubbed pleasantly against your nipple. His thumb circled the peak of it, until it raised pert beneath his finger, and he pinched it – the sensation only slightly dulled by the fabric. You hissed and struggled in his grasp, your ass snug against the front of his jeans where you could feel the tight straining of his cock.

He said, “I just know.”

You tilted your face toward his and his mouth met yours with a fierce, unusual intensity. The car ride and water helped to sober you up and you were now painfully aware of the stab of longing in your chest. You wished things could be different. You wished he would stay the night. Carmy kissed you like he was trying to prove a point and your knees weakened at the sheer brunt, passion that smoldered through your body. He released you just to turn you around in his grasp. Face-to-face, you could see every emotion etched out across his face. Arousal was easy to see - the brilliant blue of his irises were swallowed by his pupil and the way his lips glistened with saliva. Yet beneath the desire, you could see affection and tenderness in his gaze. This was the same Carmy who picked you up off his couch and tucked you into bed. The same Carmy who wouldn’t hold your hand in public, but who would rest his chin on your shoulder when you took the L together. You pushed down your thoughts.

“You just know?” You mocked while unbuttoning Carmy’s shirt with trembling fingers. You couldn’t believe the audacity of this man. You might’ve slept with…whatever his name was…Matt? Anyway, didn’t matter. You could’ve slept with him was the point. His large, calloused hands pushed your dress up until the fabric bunched around your hips.

His nose bumped into yours, “Mhm.”

You leaned in to kiss him again, but then he moved and dropped to his knees in front of you. He yanked your panties down your legs and let them fall around your ankles before spreading your thighs and burying his face between your legs. Your head fell back and knocked loudly into the wall. You were grateful for the fact that your only neighbor was an elderly couple who went to bed at 7PM and could sleep through a hurricane. Carmy’s tongue licked a stripe across your folds and unraveled a single thread of your composure. Your fingers tangled into his long, soft hair – you always loved his hair – and you gently pulled on it. Carmy hummed, pleased, in response and closed his lips over your swollen, aching clit. You keened, the knot in your chest tightening, and your eyes screwed tight. If you looked at him, you’d shatter, so you kept your eyes closed and focused any available brain power on staying upright.

Carmy moaned, his mouth working over your clit in slow, languid motions and sending pulses of heat through your core. His index finger curled into you until he was knuckle deep, and you cried out, again, gasping his name like it was the only one you knew. Carmy knew which buttons to push, metaphorically and literally, to bring you closer and closer to the edge. Your body responded eagerly to him with reckless abandon. The hot, clenching tightness in your stomach and cunt drove away all other sensation and feelings. You couldn’t be angry with him, or sad, because you were reduced to a singular, primal desire.

Your hips bucked, your hands pulled at the root of his hair, tugging on his scalp, and earning you a pleased grunt from Carmy each time. You learned early on that he enjoyed having his hair pulled and you took advantage of that fact every single time.

“Fuck, fuck, Carmy – don’t’ stop.” You pleaded, “I’m so – close - please, don’t stop – fuck, fuck, fuck – I love you.” Your mind blanked out – complete static and gray – a guttural cry released from your throat, tears pinpricking behind your eyes at the sheer force of your orgasm. You slumped against the wall, your heart hammering, and thighs twitching.

“That’s why.” He murmured, drawing his lips away and biting your inner thigh hard enough to leave a mark. You whined at the additional sensation with the last tremors of your climax fizzling through you. The tip of his nose nuzzled against the fresh mark on your skin, and you blinked down at him. You tried to make sense of his words, but it all sounded like gibberish to you.

“I wouldn’t fuck him…because you…I’m sorry – I’m not following.”

He raised to his feet and held your jaw in his hand, his fingertips firmly pressing into your skin, “because you still love me.”

Your eyes widened and Carmy kissed you once more, slower, and sweeter, with the tang of your orgasm on his tongue. The knot inside your chest stole the breath from your lungs. You tore your face away from Carmy’s, looking off to the side, even as you stood with your bodies pressed together and his hand remained on your chin.

“And I still love you.” He admitted quietly. “I don’t- I don’t want you to be with anyone else. I want you to be with me.”

You swallowed the lump inside your throat and your nostrils flared. Why couldn’t you just fuck and then he could leave in the morning like a normal one-night stand? Why did it have to be complicated? Why did it have to hurt?

“I fucked up, okay? I fucked up.”

You stopped staring at your shoes in the entryway hallway and closed your eyes. “Are you bringing this up only because you saw me sort-of flirting with someone at Jimmy’s tonight?”

“No.”

Carmy’s hand released your chin and stroked your cheek with the back of his knuckles.

“Or maybe a little…I don’t know…I just – I don’t want to walk away from this. I’m a complete fucking mess. I know that, okay? But I want to try again – I’ve wanted to start over since you left my apartment that night. I should’ve fucking called. I should’ve knocked on your door the next morning. I should’ve asked then, but I didn’t and I’m asking you now – will you be with me?”

#carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy x reader #HELLO IM BACK

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