#hello friends ! I hope all has been well with you !
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Hey love your writing could you maybe write Hispanic reader x Alex and Charles like maybe a 3 way relationship and the reader is pregnant if your comfortable
Hello! I could totally write a polyamorous relationship/throuple with Alex, Charles, and Hispanic reader! So I don’t know if you meant they’re together and she ends up pregnant and if she’s already pregnant so I’ll write about Y/N ending up pregnant and Alexandra and Charles being there for her. Sorry it took me so long, I don’t know if this is what you wanted but I hope you like it regardless!
The Happy Throuple
Paring: Charles Leclerc x Hispanic/Latina! Reader x Alexandra Saint Mleux
Summary: After a night of celebrating Charles’s Grand Prix win, Y/N ends up pregnant
Warning: spelling and grammatical errors
A/N: i have researched things about pregnancy and GUESS WHO’S GRADUATING TOMORROW! Maybe I’ll post pictures at the end of a fanfic, who knows.
Everyone knows that Charles and Alexandra are dating, there are so many photos of them together at events. However, no one knows there’s a third person in their relationship and that person is Y/N L/N. People know that Y/N and Alexandra are best friends and roommates because they study in the same university so no one finds it strange when Y/N is also at the paddock with Alexandra.
Y/N and Alexandra were wearing something red while observing the race from the hospitality with Leo on Alexandra's lap.
“Do you think Charles is gonna get P1?” Y/N asked Alexandra.
“I hope so, he gained 4 spots, he looks like he is doing pretty well." Alexandra commented, petting Leo who was wagging his tail all happily.
They were watching the TV closely, Alexandra put Leo on the ground so he could run around, Charles and Max were very close but towards the end, Charles did an overtake and ended up getting P1, Max gets P2, Lewis get P3. Y/N and Alexandra were cheering and they hugged.
"Yay, our muñeco won." Y/N said.
"Yeah, come, lets meet him out in the garage." Alexandra said, picking up Leo before taking Y/N's hand to lead her to the Ferrari garage. They spotted Charles's car so when Charles got out of his car, he went to Alexandra to hug and kiss her, he hugged Y/N and was about to lean in for a kiss when Y/N moved her head so he just kissed her cheek, immediately remembering no one knows about their true relationship. Charles got Leo out of Alexandra's hands and let Leo give him little dachshund kisses.
Charles said goodbye to the girls and Leo before he went off to do the post race interview. After that, Charles went to get Alexandra and Y/N so they could go to their hotel. They walked to Charles's car, Alexandra walking Leo on his little leash, and they got in. Charles drove to the hotel and once they made it to the room, Charles kissed Y/N.
"Finally! I have been wanting to do that since I got out of the car." Charles admitted.
"Yeah, well this relationship has to be under wraps sadly." Y/N said, sitting on the bed. Alexandra sits next to her, placing her hand on Y/N's thigh.
"But it's 2024, mon papillon, I'm sure people will understand." Alexandra says, placing a kiss on Y/N's neck.
"Fans, yes, but what about press? Charles, you are signed until 2028, i don't want to jeopardize that." Y/N said. Now Charles sat on Y/N's other side.
"You won't, mon ange. But let's go out to eat." Charles suggested.
"Its Las Vegas, wouldn't you rather party with the rest of the grid?" Y/N asked.
"We could always celebrate a different way." Charles said, his eyes darken with lust.
"It is Vegas after all, mon papillon. And we have to give the Grand Prix winner his reward after all." Alexandra said, turning Y/N's head so she was facing her before leaning in for a kiss, her tongue tracing Y/N's bottom lip so she would open up, and she did. While they made out, Charles began planting kisses on Alexandra's neck while Alexandra started to undress Y/N and well, what happend in Vegas stays in Vegas.
The next day, Y/N was still in bed, cuddling with Alexandra while Charles took the liberty to order room service and take Leo out on his morning walk. Y/N woke up because Charles put Leo on the bed.
"Ay Leo, Charles, why did you put him on the bed?" Y/N asked, getting up and putting on a hotel robe.
"Because i wanted you to eat breakfast before we go to the airport and I know if i woke you up, you would’ve probably stab me." Charles, said, before Y/N kissed him.
"With what knife, baby?" Y/N asked, taking a strawberry from the breakfast spread, biting into it.
"Trust me, mon ange, you would have found something to stab me, never said it had to be a knife." Charles said and Alexandra woke up, she put on her pajamas, and put Leo on the ground before giving Y/N and Charles a morning kiss.
"What time do we have to go back to Monaco?" Alexandra asked, sitting down to eat the pancakes Charles's ordered.
“Plane leaves in a few hours so you have time to eat and get dressed.” Charles said.
“Great, I’m gonna take a shower, Y/N, come join me.” Alexandra said.
“Mm, i want to eat first.” Y/N said.
“Okay, we’ll eat then shower.” Alexandra said, patting the seat next to her so Y/N could sit down.
They ate, showered, and changed.
“Okay I think I have everything but I’m not sure.” Y/N said, looking over her luggage.
“If you end up missing anything, I’ll replace it.” Charles said, kissing her temple.
“In that case, I’m missing a Dior bag, a Dyson air wrap, a Tiffany bracelet.” Y/N joked and Charles was laughing.
“Yeah, okay.” Charles said, Alexandra entered the hotel room with grocery bags and Leo on a leash.
“I bought some chips for Y/N since he gets snacky on the plane, I have some treats for Leo, I got candy for me, and I got you some snacks too.” Alexandra said,
“Perfect, looks like we are ready to go.” Charles said.
Two weeks have passed since Las Vegas and Y/N was currently in the hotel room in Abu Dhabi, puking her guts out in the bathroom, Alexandra right behind her soothing her back and holding her hair back.
“You’re okay, Mon papillon. Charles, could it be something she ate?”Alexandra asked
“I’m looking at the food, I don’t think anything should have affected her last night.” Charles said, entering the bathroom. “Mon ange, are you sure you don’t have the flu?” Charles asked.
“Mon beau, she doesn’t have a fever.” Alexandra said.
“Stop talking about me like I’m a child.” Y/N groaned with her head still hovering the toilet bowl.
“Oh, but you are our baby, Mon ange, we will treat as such.” Charles said and Y/N puked more. “Yeah, we can’t get on the flight today, I’ll just tell Fred we need an extra day, you can’t fly when you’re sick.” Charles left the bathroom to make a phone call.
“Mi reina, i gotta tell you something.” Y/N said, wiping her mouth and resting her back against the wall.
“What happened?” Alexandra asked,
“I think I’m late.” Y/N said.
“Wait, how do you know you’re late? Isn’t your period irregular like all the time?” Alexandra asked.
“Yes but my breasts feel sore too, I am so tired, it can’t be a coincidence that I’m puking right now, right?” Y/N said.
“You’re right. It’s only been two weeks though, if we want to be sure, it needs to be 3 weeks after you’ve had sex so next week. Think you can wait until next week to take the pregnancy test?” Alexandra asked,
“Yeah, of course I can wait.” Y/N said.
It’s next week, the season was over, they’re all in Monaco, Y/N is in Alexandra’s apartment.
“Okay so how are we going to get the pregnancy test?” Alexandra asked.
“Well i can’t go, people link you to me, I can’t be seen buying the test or they will think it’s for you and I rather not have Charles find out one of us might be pregnant through some WAG account.” Y/N said,
“Okay, fine, call someone.” Alexandra said, Y/N nodded and called her friend Cordelia. An hour later, Cordelia knocked on the apartment door and Y/N answered it.
“thanks again, Cordelia.” Y/N said,
“Yeah no problem, are we hoping it’s positive or negative?” Cordelia asked.
“Well he always wanted a family…we’ll see.” Y/N said, saying goodbye to Cordelia, closing the door. “Okay, I’m ready.” Y/N entered Alexandra’s bathroom and Alexandra just stood outside the door. “Like am I ready to be a mom? I don’t fucking know, I’m barely 22, does Charles want to be a father now? Like I know he wants to be one someday but now?”
“Papillon, relax, you are stressing out and that can’t be healthy.” Alexandra.
“Reina, please.” Y/N said. A few minutes later, she opened the bathroom door and Alexandra came in.
“What does it say?” Alexandra asked.
“I have to wait 10 minutes.” Y/N said. “What am I going to do? I’m not even working!”
“With Charles as the father, you’ll be taken care of.” Alexandra said,
“This is not helping, I don’t want to be a kept woman.” Y/N said. Her and Alexandra kept talking until her timer went off. Both checked the test.
“I guess you’re pregnant.” Alexandra said and Y/N began crying so Alexandra hugged her
“What am I going to tell my parents?” Y/N sobbed in Alexandra’s arms,
“Well first things first, we HAVE to tell Charles.” Alexandra told her.
“I know, I know. But he’s with Pascale now, I don’t want to interrupt.” Y/N said.
“Fine, when he gets back from his mom’s, we will tell him. I thought you took birth control?” Alexandra asked.
“I don’t take my prescription pills as often as I should be (guilty 🤪) you should know that by now.” Y/N said and Alexandra rolled her eyes.
“And you tell us that you don’t want to be treated like a child, let’s go to Charles’s apartment and wait for him there, being the test.” Alexandra said, opening the door to leave.
“Yes ma’am.” Y/N said following behind.
The women entered Charles’s apartment and noticed Leo wasn’t here.
“He must have Leo with him.” Alexandra commented, closing the apartment door and Y/N started arising the fridge. “Can you not?”
“I’m eating for 2, querida, I think I’m allowed to raid his fridge,” Y/N said but… “There’s a lot of healthy shit in here.” Alexandra rolled her eyes.
“Just wait until…” Alexandra started but was interrupted by Charles entering the apartment, Leo running to say hello to the two women.
“Mon ange, ma Belle, what are you guys doing here?” Cablees asked, kissing both women.
“Um, I have something to tell you. You might need to sit down for this.” Y/N said and Charles nodded, sitting on the couch. “So remember that night in Las Vegas and how I was sick in Abu Dhabi?” Charles nodded, holding Y/N’s hands in his. “I’m pregnant.”
“Are you sure? Aren’t you on birth control?” Charles asked.
“You know I don’t take them as often as I should and you could have used a condom, by the way.” Y/N said.
“Are you sure you’re pregnant? Those tests are prone to false positives.” Charles said.
“Well it’s been said that for the most accurate results, the test must be taken 3 weeks after sex, which I did. But I’ll go to my doctor to check too.” Y/N said fiddling with her hands. “I’m gonna go to the bakery, I’ll be back.” Y/N left the apartment.
“If she is pregnant, what’s going to happen?” Alexandra asked Charles.
“Then I’ll be a father and I’ll raise the baby with you two,” Charles replied as if it’s the easiest thing in the world.
“But are we going public or what? If you say you’re going to be a dad and they don’t see me showing but see Y/N, what do you think is going to happen?” Alexandra asked.
“We will figure it out. If Y/N is truly pregnant, I’ll announce on Instagram that we’re together.” Charles said.
“Talk to Ferrari before you make that decision.” Alexandra said.
“Yeah of course I will.” Charles said and Y/N came back with the cookie croissant.
“I made an appointment for 2 weeks.” Y/N said.
“I’ll go with you.” Charles said.
“Mm, you Can’t, no one knows about us, it’ll be weird if you are seen going with me to a medical practice.” Y/N said.
“But I want to be there for you.” Charles said.
“Would it be less weird if I came too?” Alexandra asked.
“This is ridiculous, we’ll just go in separate cars. I’m going to my apartment because I really want bistec empanado and some sopita and you’re lacking groceries.” Y/N said before leaving.
It was the day of the OBGYN visit, Y/N was with Charles and Alexandra in the waiting room.
“You think we can go out to eat after this?” Y/N asked Charles and Alexandra.
“Yeah sure, where do you want to go?” Alexandra asked.
“Wait, we need to make your diet pregnancy friendly.” Charles said,
“Muñeco.” Y/N whined, Charles was going to say something when.
“Y/N L/N.” The medical assistant called, Y/N stood up along with Charles and Alexandra. “You can’t really bring anyone in.”
“We’ll stay here.” Alexandra said, sitting back down with Charles while Y/N went into the exam room.
“Alright Y/N, you think you might be pregnant, yes?” She asked.
“Yes, it’s been 5 weeks since ‘conception’ i guess, I haven’t had my period at all in these 5 weeks.” Y/N said.
“But you are consistently irregular too, right?” The assistant asked
“Yes, which is why I’m here for the blood test to confirm I’m pregnant.” Y/N said.
“Okay then, we’ll do your physical exam and then the blood test.” The assistant said and after it was said and done, the assistant who took her blood said she would call Y/N with the results.
“Alright, let’s go, I want Italian.” Y/N said and as they were leaving the obgyn, Y/N had the urge to throw up so she ran into the hallway bathroom, got into a stall, and puked. Alexandra walked in to check on Y/N while Charles made a phone call to schedule a meeting with Ferrari’s media team.
“Hey, you’re okay. If we get Italian food, you’re getting stracciatella or whatever soup is on the menu.” Alexandra said.
“Why is it called morning sickness?” Y/N said, before puking again.
“I Don’t know, Mon papillon.” Alexandra said, trying to comfort her. “You okay? I’ll wait for you outside.” Y/N nodded and Alexandra left to wait in the hallway with Charles.
“I’m talking to the Ferrari media team.” Charles said,
“You sure?” Alexandra asked.
“Of course I am. I’ll video chat with them later today and let the whole world know I’m dating 2 beautiful women and that I’m going to be a father.” Charles said, kissing Alexandra. Y/N walked out of the bathroom.
“How about you order in, I need to lie down.” Y/N said, holding her stomach.
“Whatever you want, Mon ange.” Charles said. They left the practice, Alexandra took Y/N’s car and Y/N rode with Charles, both drove to his apartment. In the apartment, Y/N was taking a nap with Leo while Charles set up his laptop to talk to the media manager of Ferrari.
“Hello Charles, what did you want to talk about?” The manager asked.
“I need to tell you something. As you know, I am in a relationship with Alexandra, BUT it’s not only her, it’s her friend Y/N as well, all 3 of us are together.” Charles said.
“Okay, okay, okay, it’s 2024, it’s almost 2025, surely the public will be okay with a…it’s called a throuple, right?” He asked,
“Yes, yes, it’s a throuple. But that’s not the only thing I wanted to tell you about. Y/N is also pregnant.” Charles said.
“Let me get this straight; you want to post on your Instagram that you are in a polyamorous relationship and that you’re going to be a father?” He asked,
“Yes.” Charles said.
“You do understand the scrutiny that not only you will put yourself under, but your girlfriends as well?” The manager asked.
“I do, sir.” Charles responded.
“Very well then, post if you must.” The manager said before saying goodbye.
The next day, Y/N woke up to her phone ringing, turning over to see Alexandra is still sleeping, she answered the call.
“Good morning, am I speaking to Y/N L/N?”
“Yeah, this is she.” Y/N replied.
“Congratulations, you are 4 weeks pregnant, the first trimester is crucial so a healthy diet is recommended, have a great day.” The phone call ended. Y/N woke up Alexandra.
“Ma papillon, it’s a little early, don’t you think?” Alexandra asked.
Mi reina, the doctor’s office called, I am 4 weeks pregnant.” Y/N said and Alexandra kissed her before she pulled her in for a hug.
“Oh my god, we have to tell Charles, I mean it was obvious you’re pregnant but now it’s doctor official.” Alexandra was over the moon by the news. “Okay Um let’s get dressed and head to Charles’s apartment.” They got dressed and Alexandra drove to Charles’s apartment.
Alexandra opened the door and Leo scrambled to say hello. Walking in further, they heard the shower running and stopping. Charles walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.
“Mon ange, ma Belle, what are you doing here?” Charles asked.
“I’m 4 weeks pregnant.” Y/N said and Charles hugged her, twirling her around and putting her down.
“That’s amazing, I’m going to be a dad, oh my gosh, we need to make a diet plan for you, I’ll call Andrea and ask what should we buy.” Charles said pacing around the room. “Should you be taking prenatal vitamins?”
“I have to ask my doctor after the first ultrasound in a few weeks. But yeah, call Andrea for a meal plan.” Y/N said, “I’m gonna use your bathroom.” While Y/N went to the bathroom, Charles took to Instagram.
charlesleclerc many of you know my beautiful girlfriend, Alexandra. Most of you also know her best friend Y/N, who is also my beautiful girlfriend. The three of us are in a throuple or polyamorous relationship, however you want to call it. They are the loves of my life and if I am going to be a father, I thought it was time for the mother of my child, my other girlfriend, to be known.
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“Wow, can’t believe you did it.” Alexandra said when she saw his Instagram. “Oh I love that photo of Y/N, she’s so beautiful.” Alexandra said.
“Yeah, I am all in, I am not hiding Y/N anymore.” Charles said and his phone started ringing. “It’s my mom.”
“You didn’t think of telling her she’s a grandma before Instagram?” Alexandra asked.
“I didn’t think, okay.” Charles said before answering his phone. “Bonjour, maman.”
Over the past few weeks leading up to the ultrasound, Charles and Alexandra have been googling what pregnant women should be eating, have been calling their mothers to ask how their pregnancies were, Charles even bought parenting books.
“You think it’s too soon for the baby to be hearing music?” Charles asked.
“I don’t think the baby has ears yet.” Alexandra said. “You’re like 9 weeks pregnant, it’ll take another 7 weeks for the baby’s ears to actually work, it says it all here.” Alexandra said pointing to her laptop screen.
“You two are fussing and I’m not even showing.” Y/N said.
“Well we want the baby to be healthy. Would you be Leclerc Saint Mleux L/N or Leclerc L/N Saint Mleux?” Charles asked,
“We’re not even married!” Y/N exclaimed laughing.
“Oh he is just excited. Your appointment is in an hour, we should get going.” Alexandra said.
To the OBGYN! Y/N was allowed to bring Charles and Alexandra since the doctor knows they’re situation. She lifted up Y/N’s shirt and placed gel on Y/N’s stomach, she shuddered from how cold it was. She got the “wand” and rubbed it over the gel.
“And here’s your baby.” The doctor said, Charles and Alexandra started tearing up, as was Y/N.
“It’s so small.” Charles giggled,
“I can’t believe it.” Y/N said.
“I am so happy.” Alexandra said.
“Well congratulations on becoming parents to a healthy baby.” The doctor said.
The End
Hope y’all liked it! I know it was a little long but hopefully it’s a good read
#hispanic reader#hispanic#latina#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc#alexandra saint mleux#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine
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Hey nabulsi! I hope you're well. My name's Isa and I'm fundraising for my Gazan friend. Her family need urgent medical care post evacuation to Egypt. Please could you boost my pinned post and the gfm in it ? The post also has details of us being vetted. I was nuked by tumblr for sending gfm links before so I won't send the link here . Thanks so much !
Hello! Thanks for providing me with those details. As this has been vetted by a trustworthy Palestinian on Twitter, I have no problems sharing!
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More of older Kate and younger Anthony. It's a tragedy we don't have more fics of that age gap. It's always older Anthony - which is great but I would like to see how it could work with older Kate. So many possibilities. I hope one day you wiil be brave enough to give that trope a try. Maybe you will inspire other writers to do so too.
Here's a little more!
--
“Hey, Kate.”
She really wished he wouldn’t use that fucking voice on her. The soft, rich one that made her knees go a little weak and blood rush to her face, as if he literally wasn’t just saying hello.
“Hi, Anthony,” she said evenly, taking a sip of her Moscato. “Good to see you.”
His warm eyes flicked over her body, subtly, but not fast enough for Kate not to notice. “You look beautiful tonight.”
Truthfully, she felt a bit awkward. She hadn’t worn this dress in at least eight years, on Tom’s arm at some work event. It was drapey silver fabric, with jeweled straps and a high slit in the back. Kate knew it still looked good, knew her figure hadn’t changed much in that time, but she felt a little like she had then. Like she was playacting to fit in among a bunch of people she had nothing in common with. “Thank you. You look nice as well.”
Nice was a hilarious understatement. He was wearing a white button-down, rolled up to his elbows, and navy trousers that made his arse look like a work of art.
Well. He’d obviously worked hard for that arse; he did deserve to show it off, she supposed.
He smiled crookedly, resting his elbow against the table, and Kate took a breath. The last thing she needed was for Anthony Bridgerton to pay any actual attention to her. His glances from across the room were enough to fuck with her head. If he was going to linger around her and tell her how beautiful she looked, things were going to fall apart quickly.
“You didn’t look like you were having a great time,” Anthony said, some of the artificial charm leaking from his voice, replaced with genuine curiosity. “I thought you might like some company.”
Kate met his eyes. He was watching her intently, as if he had honestly been concerned about her, and-
Fuck, he was good. It was no wonder that women were burning their knickers for him left and right. He had multiple tricks up his sleeve - if they didn’t fall for the swagger, he swung to personal interest.
“I’m having a great time,” she said with a shrug. “Thank you, though.”
“Bullshit. You’ve been standing in this corner half the night.”
Kate’s jaw tightened. No way he had been watching her that closely. It was true, though - Violet had pleaded with her to come, but she had hostess duties and could hardly cling to Kate’s side all evening. “I think there are other people here who are actually seeking your attention.”
He frowned. “Who, the people from my father’s company? It may not surprise you to learn that they’re all dicks.”
That did not surprise her, but Kate scoffed anyway. “I was thinking more like your girlfriend over there.”
Anthony’s eyes shot to where she had gestured - the pretty young brunette who was wearing a skintight black leather dress and flashing a truly impressive fuck me gaze.
“Siena’s not my girlfriend,” he said, seeming annoyed at the insinuation. “She’s a friend of the family-.”
“But you’ve slept with her, right?” Kate interrupted. He looked a little taken aback, and even she couldn’t account for why she said it with such disdain. “I’m friends with your mum. Don’t bother trying to bullshit me.”
Eyes growing heated, Anthony took a step toward her, until they were eye to eye and all she could smell was his citrusy cologne and the bite of whiskey on his breath. “Why do you hate me?”
“I don’t hate you. I don’t even know you.”
“You know what my mum has told you about me. You’ve met me a few times now. Don’t bother trying to bullshit me, Kate. You’ve seen enough to decide not to give me a chance.”
Heat pricked at the back of her neck, something dangerous brewing in the static air between them. “Give you a chance to do what?”
“To get to know you,” Anthony murmured, his eyes dropping briefly to her lips before returning to her eyes. “To spend time with you.”
Kate couldn’t help it. She didn’t know what else to do but laugh, at the ridiculousness of the situation, at the unbearable tension that strung them together. “You’re twenty-five.”
“Does that matter?”
“Do you even know how old I am?”
“You’re thirty-seven,” he said easily, not sounding fazed in the slightest. “And you’re smart, and funny, and fucking gorgeous, and I…god, Kate. If you had any idea, the dreams I’ve had of you.”
A shiver worked up her spine at the way he was looking at her. The face of a man dying to act out his filthiest fantasies. And something in her ached to let him.
Kate swallowed. This had already gone too far. She should have cut it off the second he approached her. “You need to stop.”
“Because you want me to? Or because you have some arbitrary reason why you think we shouldn’t?” he challenged. Reaching out, Anthony slid his large hand over her forearm, goosebumps erupting over her skin. “Tell me you don’t feel anything. Tell me you don’t want a single thing from me, and I’ll walk away and never bother you again.”
It was so easy. To just push the words past her lips, I don’t want you. You’re not worth what I could lose. Give up on this foolish notion of us, before it bites us both in the arse. He needed to hear it, and Kate would only be giving him the out that he would seek himself, sooner or later.
Instead, she brushed his hand off her arm, shaking her head minutely. “Good night, Anthony.”
And as she slipped around him, Kate forced herself not to look back.
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Hello hello! Anon here. First of all, congratulations on getting accepted for your courses! Don't worry about trying to balance work and the blog, we will always be here waiting for you. Second of all, your whole Yutu AU has been really fascinating to look through. (Though that may be because of my bias toward Fire Emblem Awakening, as it was what got me into the series) Sorry for the incoming wall of text, but it's been giving me THOUGHTS.
So imagine this: whoever Yutu's dad is (I'll pick Azul for this example because I headcannon his English voice somewhere between Matt Mercer's Chrom and Olivert from The Legend of Heroes games) finds out who Yutu really is. You remember that cutscene after Chapter 13 in Awakening, with the Lucina reveal and Chrom has this: "You deserved better than a sword and a world full of troubles. I'm sorry."? Imagine Yutu hearing something like that: the acknowledgement of everything he's gone through, the pain of knowing his dad couldn't do anything and can't do anything more than offer words, and the reality that it might now be really possible to change the future? I imagine Azul breaking down after hearing all that because the last thing he wants to do is hurt Yuu or his son after everything he's been through. Oh goodness, the two of them both need hugs.
Second: did Crowley tip off the Magic Marshalls (because I think he would) and force Yuu to take the blame for his negligence (because he absolutely would)? Now imagine Yutu finding this out and telling his dad. Now his dad knows Crowley is a cheapskate who fobs his work onto everyone else without a second thought. And now he's responsible for having Yuu taken away and starting all this? Knowing the boys and how far they would go for Yuu I'd imagine they don't take that well. In other words, to slightly alter a quote from Regina in Once Upon A Time: "I guess killing a crow suddenly made the top of my to-do list."
Sorry for the wall of text but that's been rattling around in my head for a few days (so make of it all what you will). Hope you're doing well and looking forward to what's next!
-The anon who loves Riddle & Azul
AHHHHH (i feel like I always take forever to answer your asks I am sosososososososososo sorry, this one just drove me crazy in a good good way)
Listen fire emblem awakening was my entire personality for like all of middle school. The only thing i wanted to talk about was chrobin. I celebrated Morgan and Lucina's birthdays by drawing them. I think I still have a Cherche x Libra fan art thing I drew on some sheet of paper somewhere in my things because I was SO MAD that no one shipped them and I couldn't find fan art of them anywhere and I just oooooooooooh. THE WAY CHROM GETS A NEW CRIT LINE ABOUT HOW ANYTHING CAN CHANGE AFTER THE REVEAL???? BECAUSE OF HOW DETERMINED HE IS TO KEEP THAT PROMISE AND GIVE LUCINA A BETTER WORLD???? i just cant be normal about them i am so sorry. R+A annon I love you, I love you so much for this you made my entire month and possibly my year. Awakening is also what got me into the series and made me so many friends I just love her so much. She's an icon and I hope she gets remastered with Sumia either deleted or with a fucking personality.
I should probably sit down and actually write a timeline for myself of events, but since I am free to lean in to the fire emblem pacing, I want to say that monsters from Yutu's timeline start showing up (similar to how the Risen do in Awakening) in the past and stirring up trouble, which leads to an event where Yutu panics and forgets himself in his desperation to protect his dad. The main way the future kids always proved themselves was by showing their mother's wedding ring, but Yutu doesn't have that so really it's just up to his dad to see someone who looks like him and Yuu blended together, supposedly from Yuu's world using magic and above all else crying out and driving up his own blot levels to protect him calling him dad. For Azul! Yutu it's especially painful, he feels like he already knows what his dad is going to say. That he's disappointed in him. That he has no idea how they could possibly be related. That he hopes in this future he turns out to be different. But that's not what happens.
Before Azul overblotted he was quiet. There's a similar quiet over him now, a similar look of tense surprise, but Yutu- no- his child doesn't know that. His child is looking at him in fear, in worry for his reaction or his safety he doesn't know but he knows the way those tears start to form. Azul knows the quiver of the lip and the shriek, of all the things he could have passed on to such a treasure.
"You deserved better from me." Because it's true. He might think of himself as a work in progress but he still thinks he has quality; he would have done research, read every book he could get his hands on, taken classes, anything he would need to do to be a good father, a worthy partner. Anything. "You deserved to have the world within your grasp, not whatever shadow of a future and a father I left you with. I am so sorry." He does not expect Yutu to grab him and hold him like he's still somehow worthy of his love, but Azul can't fight the urge to grab back, to stroke his son's hair and let the tears fall on his suit without any care at all. I'm here. It's ok, daddy's here, daddy's got you, he won't let anything happen to you.
As for your second question, I did not really write Crowley like that no. It was more like he was the first person mysteriously arrested after the Magical Marshall's decided to finally do their job. I was writing it like they wanted to ship Yuu away to cover up for their own incompetence in preventing seven overblots instead of properly investigating what might have caused that. He's not completely innocent though, so yes. The boys do not take it well at all.
And please do not apologize for sending in your thoughts, I am so so slow but I love hearing from you.
#<3 asks#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#future kid au#azul ashengrotto x yuu#azul ashengrotto x reader#riddle and azul anon
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An issue I need to address:
TW: Drama, cussing…yk all that jazz. I apologize that this post is what you all are receiving from me today. But I need to talk about this before it get’s worse.
Okay, I just want to clarify that there should be no hate being sent towards @osctwordfan for this. Hate and hurtful comments will not and cannot fix what has been done. But that does not I am not angry about it. I am mad. I am livid. Only two people on this site has been able to make me this genuinely upset and it’s frustrating that making a PUBLIC POST is the only way to get this person’s attention.
4 days ago, May 16th, @osctwordfan started following me. Which, I greatley appreciated because HELLO??? Who wouldn’t, right? A new follower is just an awesome feeling to have. So, I checked their blog to see what they liked and we shared SO many similar interests it was almost scary. And I followed back.
If you know me for a while, you know my whole “Hi new mutual 💝” message I send to my new mutuals. Because 1: I love talking to people and 2: I just want others to feel like they’re welcome. (If you haven’t received one yet it’s either bc you’re a little older than me or idk how to send the message. BUT YOU WILL GET ONE TRUST 💞💓💘💖💝)
And you all know how you can SEE when someone is online? Well, they were online when I texted this. And I got no response. I just assumed it was nervousness or shyness so I didn’t really question it. Until a few minuetes later they reblogged my “You can always ask” fic.
Which, woo-hoo I guess. But my message was still not answered. But I didn’t think it was THAT deep.
The next day, May 17th, I noticed they were online. I sent a quick “Hi” again, awaiting a response. About 5 minutes later I was met with one, except it wasn’t the one I was expecting or hoping for.
It was a request. For a fanfiction. Okay okay cool. Coolio. You…ignore my two messages of me just simply saying a quick “hello” and you don’t answer…instead you ask for a tickle fanfiction of some turtles?
I get people are shy. I get that. I do. But me and one of my best friends were talking about it on Insta and it made no damn sense. Following, reblogging and requesting things from an individual that’s been trying to speak with you for the past few days and you not responding and then ASKING something of them is just…weird.
Me and one of my best friend’s convo:
So, on May 18th I saw they were online again, and so I texted the following:
Which I felt was fine. It was straight to the point. But where my anger really emegred was when I got notifications of my fics being reblogged by the same person. AGAIN. NOT EVEN 3 MINUTES LATER.
And then May 19th they liked another post of mine. Although it was a post that you would have to DIG DEEP FOR. Because I made it a year ago and only 4 people liked it (INCLUDING ME.). So you would have to LOOK LOOK to find it.
Then yesterday, May 20th, was just my breaking point. I was chilling, having a nice evening, talking with my fellow mutuals, writing a fic (AND FINISHING WOO-HOO) until I get a notification. And guess what? It’s just another reblog by the same person.
Did I get any responses of my pervious texts? Nope. Not at ALL.
I am sick and hurt of being treated as if I’m just a computer that makes fanfictions.
I am a PERSON. A human being that for the past week has been trying to talk with you. And you at fucking 16 should understand that.
You are one whole year older than me and you think you have the right to treat me this way. Who the absolute hell do you think you are?
Because let me get this through your head: I live in an African and Jamaican household, and one thing that we let each other know day in and day out is to never ever let someone make you feel like you’re less.
So when you see this @osctwordfan I am hoping you have a good explanation regarding to last week.
@ ing mutual’s in this because this is INSANE and I am LIVID rn:
@itzsana-kiddingmenow @veryblushyswitch
@skyloladoodles @saturnzskyzz @backy-san
@creativecutie @savemeafruitjuice
@mythica0 @leosmasktails @someone1348 @vxlepop
@anxious-lee @charismakat
@sunny-117 @odder-outlet @jamiesgotchu @ziipzeepzop-eez
@danineedshelp @pocky-dragon
@my-l0v3r-v3rse @rice-cake-teen10
#Didn’t add everyone bc that would be SM people#Mostly everyone though#Look#At the end of the day I’m sorry it came down to me making a post about you#But you seriously left me no choice#LIKE ACTUALLY#But srsly idfk what could be the explanation towards all of this#You sent me an ask and you would be able to see the notifications of me messaging you#If you had messages off I wouldn’t be able to in the first place/Tumblr would tell me#Also mutual’s you don’t have to respond if you don’t want to 💞💞💞#I’m just trying to figure out if I have a right to be upset abt this…#Sfw tickle community#Sfw tickle blog#Blog drama#Follower drama#Dude I don’t even want an apology I just want you to EXPLAIN#I hate drama#But I needed to post this#I’m not trying to be mean rn#I’m just trying to understand
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AUDERE EST FACERE. — [Z.CL]
❝to dare is to do..❞
SYNOPSIS: where crown prince zhong chenle, forced into a marriage with a woman he doesn't like and riddled with complicated feelings, finds solace in the palace's very own medic, you.
PAIRING: zhong chenle x male!reader
GENRE: royalty au, not really modern but not really medieval time period either, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst, kinda humorous, prince!chenle x medic!reader, kinda forbidden relationship, ambiguous/open ending
WARNINGS: might not be accurate to medieval times, death, blood & gore, forced marriage, mentions of disease, unhealthy ways of grieving, a lot of mentions of violence
WORD COUNT: 22.7k
NOTES: woah woah woah!!! this whole fic broke a whole bunch of isa records…….. hiiii jj 😊 hi chenle stans 😊 hello nct male reader community 😊😊😊 i hope im serving the isanator nation well (consists of 2 ppl) ANYWAY this is one of the works i am genuinely most proud of because for one, it's my longest ever work, and for two, i'm just so happy with how it turned out!! this was originally meant to be like 16k words but then i got carried away and now this is here 🙁 i truly apologize for how long this is but PLEASEEE dont get bored i swear it gets good 😞😞 and i did write ambiguous ending but it does seem pretty straightforward so um… im sorry for that, this fic would've been MUCH MUCH LONGER than 22k words but i already beat my former wc record so i just cut a bunch of other unnecessary scenes 😶 alright thats enough of my yapping!! ily jj my bsf ever ty for listening to me ramble abt this endlessly in ur inbox 😊😊💗
CHENLE REMEMBERS IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. his little feet sneakily took him away from the huge meeting room full of intimidating adults talking about gibberish, and slowly, they lead him to a much more enjoyable place. at the time, seven year old chenle couldn't figure out why his parents needed such a big meeting room, or why all of these important people came to the castle every few months, to him, those strangers were nothing but tryhards, greedy men and women who were never pleased no matter how much they were offered.
seven year old chenle could never truly figure out why his parents insisted on having him sit around with these other important adults, listening to them talk about the economy, kingdom relations, marriage, all this stuff that isn't interesting to seven year old boys.
the young prince found his feet leading him to a place of familiar comfort, the palace's own rose garden. he could never truly explain why the air surrounding the abundance of roses ever became of comfort to him, because roses are anything but comfortable to hold, but whenever he felt like father and mothers fights were getting too aggressive, he could just come here and everything would be okay.
the gardener, a woman by the name of mrs. qian, was always sweet to chenle, much sweeter than his father usually was. her son, qian kun, is basically chenle's older brother, the older boy often comes around whenever his mothers in work, and he tells chenle stories of what goes on at the village schools, the newest gossip and adventures he's gone on with his friends.
chenle often finds himself interested in the life of a commoner, they're all just so intriguing.. he can't believe the stories most of the time, but he is homeschooled, and has been holed up in this castle for as long as he can remember, so how he can prove or debunk any of these things? he just thinks that non-royals are some of the most entertaining people he knows, they're all so hilarious.
as soon as the seven year old chenle stepped into the rose garden, a feeling of relief seeps into his body. he takes in a deep breath, and finally allowed for his shoulders to slump, much too tired of having to keep his back straight all this time.
he lets himself relax into the atmosphere, finally away from the suffocated room full of adults seemingly speaking a language he could not understand. if that's what kings and queens have to do, chenle thinks he'd rather not take the throne.
the seven year old prince allowed for his eyes to scan the garden, it's empty. well that makes sense, mrs. qian isn't in today and neither is her son, they went on a holiday. he sighs to himself, he misses kun's company, but alas, no one is around.
chenle makes his way around to a specific rose bush, it has the most roses out of the bunch. seven year old chenle used to think the rose bushes were magic, the roses always grew so quickly, one day there'd be none and the next there'd be hundreds, it was purely shocking to the young prince.
chenle, as always, began tracing the shape of the roses with his finger. he finds them pretty, as he does all flowers. it might sound like he's being basic, but roses are probably his favorite of the bunch. they're just so beautiful, and most importantly— they're sharp.
but the seven year old chenle is startled out of his rose admiring due to a shout.
"hey! don't touch those!"
the young prince furrowed his eyebrows at the words, what's wrong with touching the roses? it's not like there are garden rules or anything. when chenle turned to the source of the shout, that's when he sees the person.
you, it was you. adorable seven year old you who ran up to him as quickly as you could, you stopped as soon as you made it his way, panting like you had just run a marathon. "don't touch the roses".
the young chenle blinked, puzzled. "why can't i touch them? i'm the prince you can't tell me what to do—"
"they're sharp! you're gonna hurt yourself see?" you pointed at chenle's hand, and he looked down, eyes widening as he came across the sight. his finger was bleeding, oh that's bad. "roses have thorns, you have to be careful".
chenle had no idea who you were then, but all he knew was that you were worried. your eyes were watering, as if you were going to burst into tears at any moment, and you took a deep breath as you slowly began freaking out over the small cut on the prince's index finger. "oh uh— i didn't even notice".
"it's okay really, god i have a bandaid don't i? hold on.." you mumbled, worried as ever as you began rummaging through your pockets, trying to find a bandaid to patch up the prince with.
"it's fine it's just a small cut i.." chenle paused in between his words, clearing his throat. "who are you?"
right, you were still a stranger, chenle had no idea who you were then, for all he could know, you had broken into the palace or something. you finally stopped looking through your pocket, your face went a bright red as you faced the prince again. "um my name is y/n, i'm the—"
"y/n honey? where did you run off to?"
now chenle recognized that voice, that was the voice of the palace's sweet medic. mrs. l/n had a voice that was like honey, she was easily one of chenle's favorite staff members, not only because she would always be there to wipe his tears when he scraped his knee, but she always offered him delicious candy. "oh! there you are!"
"good afternoon mrs. l/n" chenle politely greeted, and you let out a small sigh of relief at the sight of your mother, though that look of worry was still prominent in your eyes.
"chenle, how are you doing?" she reached over to ruffle the young prince's hair, which he accepted happily, giggling at the gesture. "i'm doing good, ma'am".
"he has a cut on his finger" you muttered to her, and a small 'ah' leaves her lips as she finally realized what was going on. "i wanted to help him but i didn't have any bandaids" you seemed disappointed in yourself, as your gaze immediately lowered to the floor.
"oh sweetie, it's okay" your mother shook your shoulder, reassuring you. "just remember to call me before running off".
"i'll remember, sorry".
the young prince blinked at the sight before him, though he continued to smile at the sight of your mother. "sorry for yelling at you, your highness" you muttered in your low voice, and all chenle did was shake his head, waving you off.
"it's alright you were just trying to help" chenle replied, he finds seven year old you to be the epitome of adorable, just the cutest person in the world.
"let's get you that bandaid yeah?"
chenle nodded, you nodded, and the two of you proceeded to follow your mother out of the garden and to her office.
when chenle thinks back to this moment, the moment he first met you, he likes to compare it to an explosive, just waiting to be lit, just waiting to be set off and destroy everything. when he thinks back to the first moment he met you, chenle can't help but reminisce about it.
after your mother helped him with his cut, the two of you.. talked. you talked about things all seven year old boys talk about, and it was one of the highlights of chenle's day, though he kept trying to make you drop the formalities and call him by his first name, you vehemently disagreed.
the two of you became friends (and just chenle calling the two of you "friends" was enough to almost send seven year old you into cardiac arrest), a royal and a commoner, but chenle never saw it that way, chenle has never seen it that way. a friend is a friend, regardless of status or their economic situation. yes chenle is at a great advantage, being the prince of the kingdom you lived in, but he never held it over you, he isn't like that.
you were— are a special friend to chenle. sometimes, it feels like the two of you have known each other your whole lives. you mean much more to him than he actually lets slip, but he'll never let that be known, even under kun's watchful eye and jisung's insistence on knowing if you two really are just "friends".
chenle spends a lot of time thinking about the day you two first met, it's like a looping episode of a show in his head.
"chenle? did you even hear me?"
no response.
a grunt of frustration is sounded in the room, but the prince doesn't react, much too busy zoned out as a specific memory replays in his head for the seventh time that hour.
"chenle! pay attention!"
the slam of a hand against the table, paired with the loud shout is enough to snap the now twenty one year old crown prince out of his little dazed memory recalling session. chenle startles, but he quickly lets his face relax, sighing as he rejoins the conversation he'd previously zoned out on. "what?"
chenle's mother pinches the bridge of her nose, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. "marriage, chenle, that's what were talking about".
oh god, chenle resists the urge to groan. he isn't exactly on board with this whole marriage thing, but then again, he has no other choice, his father is gone and he's next in line for the throne, this is how it goes for each royal family, he should just suck it up and deal with it head on. "yeah yeah, sorry, i didn't sleep much last night".
it's not exactly a lie, these days usually have chenle plagued with some sort of sleeplessness, but that isn't the main reason he was zoned out, obviously. "alright.. anyway, i talked with the zhu's, we agreed that you and their daughter, yinuo, are to marry".
chenle recognizes the family name, unfortunately, he doesn't exactly recognize their daughter. "you're marrying me off to a stranger? what about the girls i actually know, suyin? jia? mingxia? they're actually my friends, i'd be much more comfortable with them than a princess i've never met".
"marriage doesn't work like that, chenle" the words are enough to make chenle grit his teeth, he bites his tongue, though. "all you have to do is merely get along with her enough that it looks like you're in love at the wedding, rule the kingdom, and have children".
chenle raises an eyebrow, rocking back and forth in his chair. "that sounds a tad bit dystopian, mother".
the older woman does nothing but narrow her eyes at chenle, a look he's become used to receiving from her at this point. "it's just how everything goes, le, i don't know what to tell you".
chenle bites his inner cheek, looking everywhere else in the room. he always knew marriage was a custom, if not out of true love, it would be out of convenience. chenle had been given so much time to go find a woman to fall in love with, but he didn't find it that easy, maybe he just has too many requirements when it comes to love. he doesn't exactly support the whole thing about creating new heirs, but he was born into this family for this reason, what is the point of being a king if not sacrificing his freedom for the happiness of others?
chenle has always known that he wouldn't exactly enjoy this part of his life, and his father just had to go early, he is very much upset, but he doesn't disclose those feelings to anyone. after his long minutes of silence, chenle stands up from the table, again facing his mother. "yes yes i get it, mother" he mutters, making his way over to his mother and pressing a kiss to her cheek, realizing that she was trembling in anxiousness. "don't worry about me, i'll be fine".
but would he really? chenle can't exactly determine that.
"HOW DID YOUR LITTLE MARRIAGE CONVERSATION GO?" QIAN KUN cannot contain his interest, immediately finding chenle and inquiring about his upcoming marriage. chenle can always go to kun to talk about things troubling his mind, the older is a person of solace for him, a comfort in this big castle that seems to be swallowing him whole. chenle is glad he has kun, even with how much he does tease him, he's truly grateful for the older. "whose the lucky lady?" the words are enough to get a groan out of chenle, who shoved his nose into his book.
"zhu yinuo".
kun's eyes widen, clearly he recognizes that name. "of azerene?"
chenle clicks his tongue, not sparing the older a glance. "yes, that one".
the older male hums, merely glancing at the crown prince. "why do you sound so uninterested? marriage should be a fun topic for you".
his teasing tone doesn't breeze past chenle, but the younger doesn't comment on it, focusing on the topic of the novel in his hands. "not when it's with a women i don't know, i'm just being placed into a union with a stranger, a stranger who i'm then going to have make babies with so that the treasurable zhong family lives on for generations and generations".
"well isn't that the whole point of royal families, though?" kun asks absentmindedly, it seems he meant to say that in his head, seeing as how he slaps a hand over his mouth immediately after the question escapes his lips, but chenle doesn't mind, getting offended over such a question is the last of his worries. "..sorry".
"it's alright" chenle responds, his voice a low echo in the expanse of a room. "it's how most things go anyway, i should know better than to question it".
"i just don't think it's fair" chenle only gives a mere hum, though he notices kun's tone of concern. "yeah you're supposed to create heirs at the end of the day, but not even with someone you love?"
"you ask too many questions".
kun scoffs, turning to chenle with a look of betrayal in his eyes. "i'm just saying what your thinking, chenle, i worry about you".
chenle, who sighs silently, finally closes his book and gives the older an indistinguishable look. "you don't have to worry about me, i'll be fine, i always am".
a lie, one as clear as day too. chenle doesn't exactly know how to explain what he feels, sometimes it feels like everything is bubbling up slowly, closing in on him and suffocating him to death. he assumes it's normal to feel like this, especially with people who don't talk about how they feel, but chenle doesn't know how to bring it up to people without making everything weird.
it's all just complicated.
chenle finally stands up, running a hand through his hair and folding the page of his book as to not lose his page. he makes his way over to kun, whose mindlessly folding his own clothes as he admires the butterfly tank before him.
the butterflies were an installment chenle begged for his father to get for him after he read a book on metamorphosis once, it was a gift for his twelfth birthday, though he wanted a room to be a whole conservatory for him, his father said that would be "unnecessary" (and as an adult, chenle is inclined to agree with that statement). he finds the winged beings to be beautiful, a kind of striking that only specific animals can replicate.
yes, chenle is a huge fan of butterflies, his love for them runs deep. he lightly taps the glass encasing the creatures with his nail, gaze laser focused on the flying insects and their bright colored wings.
"you say that all the time, but i can never truly tell if you are" kun finally responds after letting his answer wither in the silence of the room, his eyes wander over to chenle, who does nothing but admire the trapped butterflies before him.
the words get a small smile out of chenle, but he's not sure why, though they do make him smile. "i am fine, there's no need to look in further".
"you know me, i'm always going to look further".
chenle allows for himself to chuckle at the response. he's right about that.
he stares at the butterflies encased in the glass box, practically trapped against their own will. his mind wanders, the butterflies remind him of something very familiar.
but he pretends to have no idea what it is.
CHENLE OFTEN FINDS HIMSELF SLEEPLESS THESE DAYS. after the first two hours of insomnia took over, the crown prince decided to entertain himself by reading that book he's left off at earlier that day, but by the time he looked at the clock again, two more hours had passed, and he had finished the book which he once thought would enthrall him until his body gave into it's exhaustion. he lets his arm fall, placing the copy of strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde onto his desk. he's still not tired, for some unknown reason.
maybe another book will do the trick, chenle's mind tells him, and he agrees with that statement enough that he swings out of his bed and his feet grace the cold floor. it's cold, it's always cold at night, but chenle thinks it's always extra cold at night on purpose.
the crown prince tries his best to shake off the freezing temperature of the room, slipping on a fuzzy sweater and grabbing the lamp from his desk. if sleep isn't going to come him, he could at least spend some of the night in the library, it'll be a good way to pass time.
the library is a nice place of comfort, chenle has always been able to relax his mind the most when he's reading. reading is one of the easiest hobbies to have, because you're not tiring yourself out, but your also doing something fun (but chenle has learned that some people don't really describe reading as their idea of 'fun').
when chenle was younger, reading was really all he did. he was homeschooled, so the most lessons he got were three a day, mother and father never cared about what he had to tell them, dismissing his words as just idiotic child talk. no one ever gave him the time of day if they weren't forced to, so chenle quickly found comfort in the many books which littered the library.
by the time chenle was fourteen, he had already read most of the books in the library, and that includes the unnecessarily huge dictionary. he could almost always be found in the library if not in his room or the rose garden, immersing himself in another world of fiction or nonfiction.
the library is basically his second home, he's there all the time, engrossed in the literature which is all he can see.
the constant creaking of the old structure is all chenle can hear as he makes his way over to the library. at one in the morning, the palace is truly creepy, like one of those haunted buildings full of spirits that suddenly scare you in the night.
now, chenle isn't one to believe in the supernatural, but some of these nightly events in the castle truly can't be explained away. sometimes, he almost gives in to believing all of stories about paranormal activity happening in the castle, something about an old king going haywire and murdering his whole entire family.
father and mother would tell him the stories to scare him out of staying up late, saying that old king chen was gonna come out of the walls late at night and scare him if he ever tried to roam the palace halls past his bedtimes.
but chenle's an adult now, much too grown to be believing in some make believe ghost stories.
back to his mission of getting to the library with nothing but his tiny lamp, chenle sighs in the darkness of the empty halls, his sigh seemingly echoing in the silence and bouncing off the walls. he pauses to observe his barely lit surroundings, and he feels his stomach drop when he hears the sound of faint footsteps across the hall.
who else could be awake at this time?
"hello?"
chenle pauses again as he listens to the greeting. he recognizes that voice, it's you, chenle thinks he could recognize your voice from miles away. "y/n?" he calls out, he doesn't mean to do that, he just really wanted to say your name, is that such a crime? he doesn't think it is.
when you finally come into his like of vision, chenle lets out a sigh of relief, the pit in his stomach will hopefully go away now. for some reason, he feels much more safe with you here. "oh god you scared me ch— your highness".
ah, it's still the same, despite your long friendship, you still don't usually address chenle by his name. you always say it's because you have to "respect his title", but chenle doesn't really like it. he likes it more when you call him by his first name, even if it is disrespectful for a commoner to do such a thing.
chenle never cares when it's with you.
"you scared me" chenle emphasizes, taking in a deep breath. "my apologies".
"it's fine, uh.. why are you awake exactly?" you ask, though chenle wanted to ask you that, it seems you beat him to it. how funny. "if you don't mind me asking of course".
of course, all you ever really do is look after people, you take after your mother, it's evident to chenle that being a medic was your calling. "oh i can't sleep, i'm heading to the library to get a book that'll hopefully tire me".
you chuckle at the words, your laughter is pretty, chenle notes. "of course, you're always in that library, seems you spend most of your time reading" chenle laughs at your tone of voice, your teasing him, you talk like how your mother used to talk about him when you were children.
"reading is..fun".
those words seem to confuse you, and you blink, lightly tilting your head to the side. "i have never heard someone describe reading as fun, but i guess it makes sense for you".
chenle wants to ask about the meaning of those words, because they seem to have so many layers, but you begin again before he can even try to ask. "i heard about your new marriage" there's a certain distaste in your voice chenle can't exactly pinpoint. "congratulations".
chenle allows for himself to frown, his stomach curling in an uncomfortable way at just the thought of his new marriage. he doesn't want to talk about it, because it's just going to make him upset. "oh yeah it's quiet.. exciting news".
you pick up on his tone of disgust, his gritted teeth, and the way his eyes quickly cast around the room, but you stay silent. "anyway, i should be heading to the library, find a nice book, have any recommendations?"
you blink at the sudden question, scouring your mind for books you think the crown prince might be charmed by. "frenchman's creek by daphne du maurier".
chenle raises an eyebrow. "that's in the library?"
"yeah i uh— i read it a couple weeks ago, it was amazing" you mutter, trying to keep eye contact with the prince who was clearly trying to not look you in the eye. "i think you'll like it, i mean— i hope you do".
chenle hums, noting down your recommendation in his mind. "i'll make sure to read it then, thank you y/n, good night".
your eyes widen as you realize that it is indeed the middle of the night, and your conversation has to end eventually. "right right, it's no problem, good night your highness".
chenle frowns again at the sound of his title escaping your lips, but he doesn't say anything, just gives you a small smile and walks past you and towards the library.
he doesn't see you watch him walk away, he's much too busy thinking about how much he wants you to say his name.
"ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOU LOOK TIRED" THE WORRYING tone in his fiancée's voice doesn't breeze past chenle, but he pays it no mind, ignoring the question. yinuo blinks, clearly expecting the silence, chenle's mother did say he's prone to giving people the "cold shoulder". she sighs, reaching out to touch his shoulder but immediately pulling back, he probably wouldn't like that. "chenle.."
"i'm fine" chenle replies faster than he intends, he brushes off any dust that might be on his shoulder and rubs his right eye. "i just lost a few hours of sleep that's all" he states rather unconvincingly, but yinuo doesn't comment more, just sighs again.
chenle holds out his arm, which the princess quickly links with hers, an indescribable emotion in his eyes. "let's just get this over with.." he shakes his head, feeling a hand of support from his future wife run up and down his back. "the faster we get through with this the faster we both get out of here".
yinuo is happy to know chenle doesn't despise her, he's just not comfortable with her, and chenle, he really is trying his best, he might be coming off as rude, but he just isn't on board with this whole thing. "they're all so extra, making us do this.."
"right, the least they could do is make us enter at different times but no, we have to do this walk in together like were walking down the aisle".
chenle glances down at their linked arms, letting a sigh escape his lips as the two of them finally exit the room they had been put into together. starting their way off to the meeting room down the hall, chenle allows for his mind to wander, he can't be focused on his fiancée or upcoming marriage, he's much too focused on other things.
you, namely.
the crown prince can't focus on what's going on when the only thing prominent in his mind is you. yeah your exchange last night was a short one, but it was also a memorable one. after weeks of going back and forth with things that just didn't make sense, and a mind that was in a frenzy, just talking to you in the middle of the night was enough to relax chenle.
you two haven't been able to talk in the past few weeks.. evidently, chenle is a prince to be king who has to focus on ruling a kingdom and your a medic who has to focus on taking care of others. you two have no time to be friends now that you're adults, it doesn't help that chenle now has all this added pressure on him, and you clearly feel like he's become a stranger.
chenle guesses the.. power imbalance is what's driving this. he's apart of the royal family, a crown prince, set to take the crown and become king, your a commoner, someone who lives just above the poverty line, the only reason you're able to stay afloat is because you took up your mothers position as the palace's medic, but even then, you can almost barely take care of her.
chenle hates thinking about it, because the two of you used to be so close, an unbreakable pair, two boys who couldn't be separated even with the differences between you two. your ranks in society never bothered you, never disturbed your friendship, never disturbed you as a pair, it never mattered. he often finds himself reminiscing on those times, the times where he could see you without his mind listing everything he had to do after that.
"chenle? are you listening?"
chenle blinks out of his daze, arm still linked with yinuo's as he gazes at his future father in law. he pretends to not see the look of worry the woman on his arm sends him, clearing his throat. "yeah, my apologies".
"uh huh, my regards to you, i know the sudden.. passing of the king was hard on you, and we hope your grieving well".
so your throwing your daughter at me, how great. chenle laughs in his mind, tongue poking through his inner cheek, he already knew he wasn't going to like where this was going. "now, about the marriage—"
chenle tunes him out easily, letting out a silent sigh which his mother hears, sending him a glare from across the room as the breath escapes his lips. he doesn't pay any mind to the look from his mother, though he knows she's quickly getting annoyed with how he isn't paying attention.
the discussion is exactly how chenle thought it'd be, the parents discuss everything and just assume their children agree from the get go, they don't even bother asking them their thoughts, or even how they felt, they just threw them into this like they were some baby making machines.
chenle guesses it's just how the cycle goes, his parents had to go through this, and so did their parents before them, and their parents before them, and so on. this is how things work, chenle can't run away from his fate, even with how much he opposes this arrangement.
"and for children.." just the mention of children is enough to make both chenle and yinuo tense, but they both play it off as the cold of the room making them flinch. "you can decide how many you want, but more than one would be nice, and especially a son would be nice".
of course, chenle sings in his head. he wonders how much they'll have to drill that into their heads, some stupid importance men have or something. he glances at his fiancée, whose trembling in her place beside him. he places a gentle hand on her back. "it's alright, calm down" he whispers enough so that she can hear it over the chatter of her father and mother.
"this is not fun".
"yeah, tell me about it" the crown prince grits his teeth, his comment eliciting a small laugh out of the woman beside him. he has to admit, he does enjoy her company.
"ah, i see you two are getting along!"
upon hearing the remark, the two pause, an awkward silence spreading between them. they exchange a small glance before chenle clears his throat, speaking up. "yeah um.. this was a nice meeting, we can continue chatting about the marriage another time, we thank you for coming, the guards will escort you out".
though chenle smiles at his future in laws, he feels nothing but nauseous the whole time.
"WHERE ARE YOU HEADING, YOUR HIGHNESS?" THE QUESTION from kun isn't enough to make chenle stop in his tracks, and he continues his way down the hall. kun blinks as the younger ignores him, furrowing his eyebrows. he then lets out a sigh, letting his hands drop as his eyes stay pointed at the crown prince. "chenle? where are you going?" chenle still doesn't stop, but he seems to acknowledge the older this time.
"to the rose garden" he responds quickly, only getting another eyebrow furrow from the older. he finally stops, turning towards the other with a look that kun cannot exactly pinpoint at the current moment. "if you need me, i'll be there".
"is something wrong?"
chenle takes in a breath, gritting his teeth. curse qian kun for being so caring, curse him for always knowing when something's up. he's quick to shake his head, mustering the fakest of fake smiles. "nothing's wrong! i just need fresh air!"
kun blinks, totally not buying that horrible lie, but he doesn't say anything about it, just mutters a small "okay" and lets chenle be on his way. chenle didn't mean to lie to kun, he just doesn't know how to explain his feelings at the current moment.
so, he gives the older a small smile, turning on his heel and making a beeline towards the titular rose garden, the one that's given him so much comfort over these past few years. he doesn't know why just the presence of everyone in that room was enough to make him want to throw up, but his anxieties wouldn't settle, he can't bear to stay inside this castle much longer.
chenle has no idea why the feeling of suffocation is constantly overtaking him these days, but the walls are slowly pushing in on him, leaving him breathless and nothing more than a weak human vessel.
when chenle does finally step outside, met by a plethora of roses and the smell of pollen in the air, the pit in his stomach doesn't settle. instead of letting out a sigh of relief, he pauses in his tracks, allowing for his eyes to roam the area he'd grown to love as a child.
chenle sighs, not of relief, but sighs with another indescribable feeling he can't explain, walking up to a display of white roses. he knows they're sharp, your old warnings flash in his head as he stares at the pretty flowers before him, tracing them with his fingers as he's always done when in the rose garden.
"don't hurt yourself again, your highness".
it's when chenle hears you that he immediately jumps, but then he relaxes, slowly. what were the odds of this happening again? you seem to read his mind, because you chuckle at the expression which graces his features. chenle raises an eyebrow, a humored smile coming to his face. "you sure you actually have bandaids this time?"
the reference makes you snicker, looking down at the floor as you turn away from your childhood friend. you rummage through your pocket, finally pulling out a bandaid, one which wasn't present when you were seven and yelling for chenle to not touch the roses. "there you go, now you won't cut your finger".
for once today, chenle suddenly feels relaxed, it's always with you, isn't it? his mind notes that down, he'll remember it for later. he takes the bandaid from you, a smile coming to his face as the nostalgia settles on him. "thank you, you're always looking after everyone, you sure know how to do your job".
the words make you pause, but you don't look at chenle as you think of a response, instead turning to the white roses displayed in front of you. you lightly poke them, letting out a small hum of affirmation. "well, what kind of medic would i be if i didn't look out for others? i'd be an idiot to ever let our highness get hurt".
chenle's lips turn up, and he laughs in just the slightest, but he isn't sure why he laughs. there's just something about you that makes chenle feel at ease, you calm his worries without even having to do anything, it's not like he's even telling you about these worries either, but the anxiety he once felt seems to be nothing now.
spending time with you calms chenle, he wants to preserve as much of this time as possible.
"i started reading your recommendation" chenle suddenly blurts out, wanting to continue a conversation with you. he doesn't know how limited your time will be. "frenchman's creek.. i like it so far, it's an interesting choice, though".
you raise an eyebrow. "why's that?"
"i didn't peg you for an enjoyer of pirate romances" chenle shrugs, and he quickly looks away, not wanting to stare at you for too long, because he doesn't think he'd be able to look away.
"well i don't like limiting my interests to one genre, you'd know about that".
chenle blinks, the words striking him in a way only the words you say can. how do you always manage to do that? it's not really the words, it's just how you say them, even if you don't make your intentions clear, chenle always knows what you mean. "it always manages to surprise me, i'm not sure what's gonna happen next".
you click your tongue, a small smile coming to your face. "just so you know, it doesn't have a happy ending".
chenle gasps, overdramatizing the volume of his voice. "you're giving me spoilers? in the rose garden?" his words make you snicker, and you pick a white rose from the bush, unfazed by the thorns which slowly sink into your fingers.
"i didn't spoil anything specific" you finally turn back to chenle, twirling the rose between your fingers. "just told how it was gonna end up.." you mutter, stepping closer to chenle unconsciously. you look at up, suddenly anxious as ever. "may i?" you ask, motioning towards the rose with your eyes.
chenle blinks, his mind going blank for a few seconds. what do you want to do exactly? he gazes at your hands fidgeting on the stem of the flower, and the pieces slowly put themselves together in his brain. are you going to..? "i— yes, sure.."
you raise an eyebrow, not really trusting the seemingly hesitant consent chenle had given, but he clears his throat, reiterating it for you; "yes, you can".
upon hearing the answer, you step closer once again, placing the rose into his hair, your careful to not hurt chenle, and especially careful because you don't want the stem to get tangled in chenle's hair. "i.. i thought it'd look nice on you, and it does, you look— you look great".
chenle blinks, a sudden red hue coloring his cheeks. it's such a basic compliment, one he's been given many times by other people, but it feels different coming from you.
it's always different when it's with you.
chenle clears his throat, unable to prevent a smile from crossing his face. you don't look at him anymore, looking away to prevent yourself from burning up, but you allow for a smile to come to your face as you think about the action you just performed.
you have no idea why you're so giddy about this.
"oh um.." chenle pauses, laughing awkwardly. "thank you, that's very sweet".
"oh it's no problem i just— i uh, it compliments your hair".
chenle hums, looking down at the floor. he hopes you don't see his face burning, and you hope he doesn't see your face burning, it's such a hilarious thing, but you both are much too flustered to find your current circumstances amusing. "you have an eye for those things too?"
"well i have an eye for many things".
i can see that, chenle doesn't say that, though, just smiles at you. you only give him a mere glance, and a small smile yourself. "it was nice seeing you, ch— your highness" you notice how your correction makes chenle frown, but you continue. "i'll be off now, have a good day".
chenle only frowns again when he realizes your time together is over, he wants to continue the conversation, wants to try to use an excuse, wants to use his power to order you to stay, but he doesn't give into the desires he wants so badly, just nods. "oh uh, don't let me keep you here".
you chuckle. "i wouldn't really mind if you did".
the words have an unspoken affect on chenle, an affect that he can't exactly explain, but he can feel. he can feel it in the way his ears heat up and his stomach flips. "alright then, bye y/n".
"bye".
and as chenle watches you leave, the feeling of anxiety he'd entered the garden with seemed to wither away, dissolving away like it was nothing.
he thinks about your 'bye' for hours, unable to get the sound of your voice out of his bed.
"HOW HAVE YOU BEEN THESE DAYS?" CHENLE doesn't answer immediately, as always these days. he skims the row of books before him, fidgeting with the one in his hands. he's not ignoring his friend, he's just focused on other things. "fine" he responds, grunting as he lightly struggles to pull the book from the shelf, but he doesn't ask for help. he doesn't need help. "what's with that look?"
park jisung blinks at his longtime friend, raising a suspicious eyebrow at him. "you don't look fine".
chenle scoffs, suddenly feeling super defensive. he doesn't look at jisung anymore, the other is going to begin to annoy him if he keeps staring at him. "what do you know about looking fine?"
he hears jisung's sigh of defeat. "well i'm just concerned for you, we haven't talked in a while, you've been so busy preparing for your coronation and.. marriage".
chenle resists the urge to roll his eyes. "my coronation isn't for another three months, preparations have all been lackluster".
"and the marriage?"
chenle snaps his head towards jisung, giving him an indescribable look. jisung is quick to shut his mouth, not wanting to face chenle's terrifying wrath. the older prince glares dangerously at the younger, who chuckles awkwardly and scratches his hand. he doesn't have to say anything, but jisung knows he should probably change the subject.
"uh.. um, are you still friends with that medic kid?"
now that is a question chenle wasn't expecting. a question about you? when he snaps his head over at jisung for the second time, the younger almost freezes, noticing the pointed look in his eyes. "what?"
"y/n, the medic kid!" jisung reiterates, clearly thinking the issue is that chenle didn't hear him the first time. "his mom used to work here, right? is he still around?"
chenle narrows his eyes, puzzled at where jisung is trying to go with this.. question. he'd been dealt with a fair amount of teasing from his friend because of how much closer the two of you seemed, jisung often questioned how much of a "friend" you really were to chenle, but the older would always combat it with a glare and snappy insult as a response.
"yes he's still around.. he took over mrs. l/n's position".
jisung blinks dumbly. "oh? what happened to her?"
just the question is enough to put a sour taste in chenle's mouth. "she just couldn't go on any longer one day, she retired a few years ago and he took over her position".
"you don't know what happened to her?"
"y/n didn't tell me anything specific" chenle is beginning to get annoyed. he knows it's in jisung's nature to be curious like this but god, if he wanted to know these things so bad he could've just asked you. "just go ask him if you're so curious".
he hears a small "hmph" sound from jisung before the younger prince sounds again. "i will then! y/n! hey!"
chenle didn't actually think you'd be passing by the library at that exact moment, but you were. you pause, backtracking as you look into the library, blinking at the jumping prince before you. "uh— hi, your highness, what do you need me for?"
jisung is quick to chuckle, waving off your use of formalities. "please, there's no need to be so formal, were friends after all!"
you only respond with a small smile, giving chenle a mere glance. "i'm just doing what i'm supposed to, i can't call you by your name.."
"well right now, you're going to call me by my name" jisung demands, which makes you snicker. he really hasn't changed. you look down at the floor, hands picking at your nails. "your allowed to, right chenle?"
chenle was not expecting to be included in this conversation. is jisung reading his mind or something? how could he seem to tell exactly what chenle wanted to say? he feels his face heat up, but he isn't exactly sure why it does that. "i mean— yeah, yes, were friends".
jisung then turns back to you, a clear 'see?' expression on his face as he smiles in victory at chenle proving him right. you chuckle at chenle's response, smiling again, but it's much more directed at chenle this time. "fine then, jisung, what do you need me for?"
jisung then walks towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder (a hand chenle is suddenly laser focused on) almost as if to reassure you. "how have you been?"
your eyebrows furrow. it's not a weird question to ask, you just weren't expecting for him to ask a question. you share another confused glance with chenle, then snickering lightly. "fine.. i uh— i've just been trying my best, as always".
jisung hums, his finger going up to caress your cheek lightly, a finger which chenle again laser focuses on, he can't help but narrow his eyes at jisung, wondering what the hell is he doing?
"uh huh, and how's your mother?"
at the mere mention of your mother, you seem to go still, pausing as you let jisung's question simmer into the air. you try your best to collect your words, opening your mouth to speak, but then you close it, as if wanting to keep your thoughts to yourself.
chenle picks up on your sudden silence, as if he could feel your heightened anxieties, he speaks up; "are you alright, y/n?" he asks, concern lacing his tone as he sees the worry in your eyes as you think about your mother.
you snap out of your little daze, clearing your throat as you nod. "yeah yeah, i uh— i'm fine, mom is.. she's doing okay".
"okay?"
"she's sick" you blurt quickly, fingers fidgeting at shirt collar. "but she's doing much better now, i'm taking care of her and everything.." you look away from the two royals, scratching your cheek out of habit.
"oh, oh my god i didn't know she was sick" jisung realizes how awkward he made the situation. "um, i wish her the best".
chenle doesn't say anything, he sees the way you glance around the room, desperately trying to think about everything else. "yeah, tell her i said hi" he states immediately, and you finally stop looking around the room to look at chenle, he notices that look in your eyes, the one where it seems like your about to cry, but you're holding in your tears.
even with all that, you smile at chenle, as if his words had healed you in some way. "i'll make sure to do that, i uh.. i have to go now, i don't want for anyone to die while i stand here".
jisung's eyes widen, and he gasps. "right! go go, you have a job to do, sorry for holding you up" you dismiss his words with a wave, jisung is still so cute, as cute as he was when you were children.
"it's fine really, you actually kind of made my day".
"well i'm happy that i could!"
you smile again at jisung, then smile lightly at chenle, who almost wants to jump towards you and trap you in a tight hug. "thank you, your hi— jisung" you quickly correct yourself, clearing your throat. "i'll see you some other time, and you chenle, i'll see you later".
chenle allows for himself to go red at the words, what do you mean by later? he tries his best to register the words, and the fact that you just called him by his name after what seems like forever, but he doesn't say anything, even though he feels jisung's gaze burning holes into his head. "later? yeah, later".
chenle has no idea why he agreed.
it's you, that's why he agreed.
WHEN CHENLE FINDS HIMSELF SLEEPLESS AGAIN that very night, he doesn't even think before raising out of his bed and deciding he was going to go to the library. he stares at the copy of frenchman's creek on his desk, mind immediately flashing with thoughts of you. he feels the structure of the book cover with his finger, blinking as he weighs his options for a moment. he could go back to sleep, but he could also go to the library and entertain himself with more literature.
"i already got up anyway.." chenle mutters to himself, grabbing the book on his desk and the situated lamp on his desk. he doesn't mind the chills which course through his body, though it's cold, the cold is no longer a bother to him, he's much too busy thinking about books (and you) anyway..
when chenle leaves his room, he notices the halls aren't as dark as they were the other time he walked them when he went to the library the other night. he blinks into the halls, the air practically pushing against him the moment he leaves his room. chenle allows for himself to let out a weary breath, no one is around to watch him be vulnerable anyway.
as he steps out of his room, the floor of the old structure creaking under his feet, he feels a breeze of cold air rush past him, but for some unknown reason, he doesn't shiver.
chenle doesn't allow for himself to stand by and simply breath any longer, so, he takes himself down the hallway, his feet leading him to his familiar place of solace (well second most at least). he notices how the hallway seems to be more lit, he could see torches as he passed through the long corridors, eyes trained on the paintings which situated themselves on the walls.
there have always been paintings decorating the walls, paintings which dictate the many generations of the zhong family. chenle watched as a kid as an artist was appointed to paint him, father, and mother, a new painting to place on the timeline of the zhong dynasty which would extend across the entire palace.
as chenle spends more time thinking about it, it dawns on him, he's going to be displayed on the wall in a painting one day as the king. one day he's going to have to sit down with yinuo and their inevitable child as an artist uses several colors on a canvas to create a painting of the next zhong generation, and his eventual child is going to have to walk past it every time they make it through this expanse of a hallway.
chenle used to enjoy staring at the paintings, used to love watching the process of paintings being created, but now, with father gone, chenle can't bring himself to glance at the painting situated on the wall without feeling nauseous. every time he tries to look at it, a silent breath has to escape his lips, or else he feels like he's going to collapse onto the floor.
he developed a habit of speed walking past the final portrait in the hallway after fathers passing, he could never look at his face again after having to watch the life slowly fade away from his eyes. he can't even look at a photograph of his father anymore without wanting to throw up everywhere.
when chenle makes it to the library, having walked very fast past the last painting in the hallway, he pushes open the doors immediately, wanting so badly to escape the suffocating hallway.
when chenle does make it into the room, he's quick to close the door behind him, but he startles when he notices that someone else is in the room. he blinks and narrows his eyes at the figure in the room, then, he relaxes as he quickly realizes who it is.
it's you.
chenle feels himself calm in just the slightest upon knowing it's you in the room and not some other staff member. it's not that chenle has anything against the other staff, it's just.. it's different with you.
how many times does his mind have to conjure that up as an excuse?
chenle ignores the reprimanding voice, it's one he vaguely recognizes, it's not his voice, it's a distant voice that he thinks he could recognize if he focused hard enough.
but he can't, because you notice him, seemingly reading his thoughts as you turn back to make eye contact with the crown prince. "hi".
"hi" chenle replies easily, it's awkward, of course it's awkward, it's the middle of the night. his eyes dart away from yours, immediately scouring the library. you allow for yourself to snicker at his lack of attention on you, and he notices, now staring dead at you. "what?"
"nothing nothing" you mutter, dismissing it with a wave of your hand. chenle wants to ask about it, but he doesn't, just looks down at the floor. "how was it?"
"huh?"
"the book" you clarify, glancing down at the copy of frenchman's creek chenle has in his hands. chenle quickly feels his face heat up, of course you were referring to the book, what else would you be talking about? the air in the room? his walk down the halls? how he's doing? you patiently wait for his answer, flipping through a book in your hands as you let out a sigh.
"oh uh— it's a surprise, that's for sure, i didn't expect to enjoy it as much as i did, i didn't enjoy the ending, though".
you raise an eyebrow, but a smile comes to your face. "why not?"
chenle finally unfreezes and steps closer to you, the book tucked in his arms as he stands beside you, your shoulders lightly brushing against each other. your eyes finally gaze over at his, and when the two of you make eye contact, it's brief. chenle blinks, and he allows for his lips to turn up, he thinks you look very pretty in this moment, the lighting of the library emphasizing your features.
beautiful, he's beautiful, chenle, a voice sings in his head, a voice which is, again, familiar, but he can't exactly determine who it is.
"i wanted dona and jean to get their happy ending, i was rooting for them".
you hum, seemingly expecting that answer, your eyes shift towards the shelf before you, focused on the books which litter it. "well, i like to think it's realistic, it's not often that people get their happy endings, even if they do deserve it".
chenle takes in your words, it seems like such a you thing to say. "i would've preferred if they did have a happy ending, though, it's why i read fiction in the first place".
"you read fiction because..?"
"it's like an escape from reality".
the words make you pause, and for a second, chenle thinks he must've said something wrong, he can't read the look on your face. he blinks up at you, your silence taking him off guard. "i mean, i guess that makes sense".
you seem to want to say something else, you seem to have a lot of thoughts on your mind, but you don't disclose any of them, just smile. "so, did you like the book?..your highness".
you hesitated before saying it, and chenle knows you wanted to say his name, but you stopped yourself, as always. he feels his gut curl in an uncomfortable way, and he clears his throat.
"y/n?"
"yes?"
chenle takes a deep breath. "were friends" he states immediately, and he notices the way you begin to avoid his eyes, looking everywhere but at him. "were friends, we've known each other since we were seven, you can call me by my name".
the truthful statement makes you pause, and you begin to scour your mind for excuses. "i can't call you by your name, your a noble and i'm a—"
"that's an order".
your mouth closes immediately, you can't argue with that, you can't really argue with anything chenle says. chenle seems pleased by his victory, a small smile showing on his face. you quickly scoff, turning your head away from your childhood friend. "of course you can just do that".
"i just.. it doesn't matter if you work here, your my friend, you can call me by my name".
"alright then, your— chenle, did you like the book?"
chenle chuckles lightly, oh he loves the way you say his name. he remembers when you were younger, you'd always pronounce his name wrong, it frustrated you so much that you would just call him 'le' instead of his full name.
"i did, it was an enjoyable book, the plot made me crave more, i just.. i can't believe it ended like that".
"your still mad about it?"
"yes i'm mad about it! i need my happy ending for my pirate love story!"
you giggle at his words, you giggle, chenle can't believe it. he just made you giggle, in the dead of night, in the palace library, he made you giggle. you take the book away from his hands, placing it back between the other books in the romance section. "sadly, most love stories don't end that way".
chenle sighs, clicking his tongue. "i hate when that happens, i'd like to have just a little hope that true love actually works in the end.."
you chuckle again, shaking your head. "i never thought you'd be a fan of happy endings and stuff like that".
chenle raises an eyebrow, puzzled by the words. "why's that?" he asks, sounding just the slightest bit offended at the statement. you blink, and he guesses that you notice his tone of offense. you find it humorous, and chenle furrows his eyebrows this time.
"i don't know, i guess you struck me as the kind of person who'd enjoy bittersweet endings, you know, you seem to enjoy tragic love stories".
"i do enjoy tragic love stories" chenle makes sure to emphasize his point, and he quickly looks away from you. "but i also like when they have good endings, sometimes, love stories need their happy endings".
"that's cute" you comment, and chenle allows for a smile to come to his face. you didn't call him cute, per se, but it's still enough to make his cheeks go red. he should not be flustered, that's ridiculous, that's— he can't be flustered.
you don't mind his silence, instead walking over to another shelf to see what other books are there. chenle pokes his tongue against his inner cheek, watching you intently. the red dusting his cheeks doesn't go away, it just seems to amplify as you have your back towards him. "it's cute?"
"yeah, i can see where you're coming from, not all love stories need to be.. realistic, if it makes you feel better when the lovers have a happy ending, than who am i to judge?"
chenle rocks back and forth on his heels, letting out a small hum at your words. "so you're the kind of guy who enjoys tragic love stories with horrible endings?"
"on most occasions, yes".
you seem to finally find a book that you'll enjoy, because you pick one from the shelf and turn back to chenle. "so how are you feeling?"
"what?"
you merely glance at chenle, than glance back down at the book in your hands and read the synopsis on the back of it. "how are you feeling these days? you have a lot of new things being stacked on you now, you must be stressed out".
chenle allows for his jaw to drop in just the slightest, it's not like people don't ask him about how he feels, it's that he can't believe you noticed the mini battle he was having with himself. he can't believe you would even be concerned about how he was feeling, he felt like most people wouldn't care about what he was going through anyway.
"oh it's.." chenle pauses, truly not being able to actual formulate coherent words. "well it's a lot, but nothing i haven't been taught how to handle by father".
your face forms into an unreadable expression, one chenle hates because he doesn't exactly know what kind of expression it is. "they prepare you for things like this?"
"well.. mostly, but even with all the excessive lessons, it all kinds of goes to my head and makes my head spin, sometimes it feels like the palace is suffocating me, taking the air out of my lungs and leaving me helpless, sometimes— i don't know, i feel like i'm being swallowed by some horrible force which just wants to make me suffer, i'm not sure why i feel like this really but—"
chenle stops, clearing his throat as he quickly averts his gaze from yours. he has no idea where that vomit of words came from, but he feels if he continues talking, he's going to say something that he'll regret. you don't answer immediately, so chenle decides to speak up once again. "i'm sorry, i have no idea where that came from it's just.. i don't know, pretend i didn't say anything".
"don't apologize, it's good to talk about things like that once in a while, bottling everything up will just overwhelm you even more".
"it's just, i don't talk to people about things like this".
"why not?"
chenle shrugs, not really sure how to answer that question. "i feel they're sort of..unnecessary, i know i can't control how i feel but my feelings have never really felt important in most situations".
"they're important to me".
the words make chenle pause, his ears reddening and a sputter in his voice as he tries his best to respond to that statement. the words are so simple, but they have such a lasting effect on the crown prince that he can't really respond to them. you care, you care, he cares! that one inner voice screams in his head. he feels his heart begin beating sporadically, it's.. god he's so grateful for you. "oh.. uh, really?"
you smile, chuckling softly. "yeah they are, you shouldn't ever feel like they aren't".
chenle feels his stomach flip, you're so sweet. "i.. thank you, y/n".
chenle hopes you don't notice his red face as you spend the rest of the night conversing about several kinds of literature.
"ARE YOU NERVOUS?" CHENLE MAKES THE MISTAKE OF taking a weary breath when that question is asked. he hears the chuckle of amusement sound from his fiancée's lips, and he allows for a small smile to show on his face. "no" he responds, clearly lying, but yinuo doesn't seem to catch it, as he begins to pick at the fabric of her dress. he turns to her, noticing the clear anxiety she displays.
"i am" she responds, putting on her gloves and rubbing a scar on her knuckles. "i've never really been a big fan of.. crowds" she states, her tone exhibiting disgust as she says the word 'crowds'. chenle has been able to pick up on her habits pretty easily, he has spent much more time with her these days after all.
chenle hums at the response, he gets it, even as he grew up having to get used to these kinds of events, it never got easier. the pit in his stomach would often never cease, that nauseating feeling only heightened, and he could just barely mask the anxious expression on his face. "i get that, they're all too loud".
"i mean, do they really care about us that much? they can't just wait until the wedding.."
the sentence makes chenle snicker as he notices the mere irritation in her tone. "they all just want something to do, i guess" he mutters, pulling his sleeve over his wrist and repeating a reassuring mantra in his head.
it's nothing you haven't done before, chenle, just get it over with, and you'll be fine. chenle thinks if he focuses enough, he can hear his father's voice repeating the mantra to him in his head.
he caresses his wrist lightly, settling in the air of the room. he can hear the faint sound of people cheering outside, and just the sound is enough to make his stomach begin flipping, the anxiety is already heightening. "all that just to see us?"
"they want to see how in love we can look".
"seems unnecessary".
"it is unnecessary".
chenle laughs again, finally walking over to his fiancée and linking their arms together. he sighs, looking down at the floor. "you sure you're not nervous?" she asks once again, raising a curious eyebrow as she notices chenle's change in behavior.
"okay maybe i am a little nervous but that's besides the point".
yinuo laughs, humored by chenle's blatant honesty. he simply gives a small smile, turning to the door of the room and letting out another small breath. they have to face a crowd, a crowd of people who are here to see them and celebrate their totally real love, a crowd who are there to watch as they are confirmed future husband and wife, they're going to get married and have children that go on to take the throne, they have to look in love, they have to.. act in love.
chenle doesn't know how in love he can look, he might get too overwhelmed and throw up right then and there. just the idea of having to do all of this is enough to make him want to cry, and he never thought he'd ever think that, because he doesn't cry, he shouldn't cry, father taught him that enough through ear shattering yells and broken glass.
he hates feeling vulnerable, but in a moment like this, having to mask his feelings in front of a crowd of people who don't know any better, who probably don't care, vulnerability is his one true feeling.
he closes his eyes, taking another deep breath as he tries his best to ignore the anxiety settling upon him.
"chenle!"
chenle snaps out his anxious daze at the shout of his name, recognizing the voice as kun, who he remembers he forgot to greet this morning, as he was in a rush.
but it's not just kun, it's also you, and chenle almost falls to the floor and dies right then and there. kun has his fingers wrapped around your wrist, there's a smile on his face (and yours, chenle thinks your smile is so so pretty). "oh, hi kun, y/n".
look at both of them, chenle, not just y/n.
but for once, chenle doesn't listen to the reprimanding voice in his head.
he doesn't even check how in love with you he must look, just a few seconds ago he was freaking out over how he was supposed to look in love with the woman beside him, but he has no problem looking in love with you.
but he doesn't exactly realize that, too busy admiring you clear as day.
"i— we just wanted to wish you good luck" kun nudges you lightly, and you let out a small laugh as you look away nervously, a red hue tinting your cheeks as you avoid chenle's eyes. "both of you, your highness" he adds, bowing lightly at yinuo and nudging you so you can do the same.
yinuo just smiles, lightly laughing, but chenle is stuck in place, mesmerized by you and.. just you. "thank you, i have to say, everyone here is insanely sweet, i feel welcome".
"well that's my job, i can't have any future queens feeling uncomfortable".
the statement from kun makes you snort, and you shove him in the shoulder. you look away from him to glance at chenle, who is still lost in his mind, you furrow your eyebrows as you watch the cogs in his brains turn, what is he thinking so hard about?
"chenle" you call out.
seemingly snapping out of the trip inside of his mind, chenle looks up at you, hoping it isn't obvious that he's affected by your soft calling of his name. "good luck" you reiterate, a small whisper seemingly shared between only the two of you.
chenle feels his face heat up immediately, eyes widening at the sight of your pretty smile. "thank you, both of you, thank you".
chenle doesn't look over at yinuo when she gives him a weird look.
"right! again, good luck! y/n and i have to go do something right y/n?"
you seem to be puzzled by that comment, chenle determines that by the way your eyebrows furrow. "what? but i thought we were supposed to—"
"alright! good luck you two come on y/n let's go!" kun gives a quick smile and grabs your wrist again to drag you away from the newly engaged couple, who watch as you two make your way down the hall towards another part of the palace.
"weird.." chenle mutters.
"so what was that?" yinuo is quick to ask, making chenle snap his head towards her, clearly not expecting for her to ask him a question.
"what was what?"
"that, chenle" she reiterates, alluding to the little (not so little) lovesick gaze chenle had trained on you for that whole interaction. it's clear that, even with how chenle didn't check the adoration he was staring at you with, she definitely did. "you looked so smitten".
chenle allows for his expression to form into one of shock, what does she mean by that? what the fuck does she mean by that? that makes no sense, it's not like he's in love with you or anything, that would be absurd! that would be—
that wouldn't be entirely out of the picture, think about yourself chenle, the most shocking thing here would be you having no romantic feelings for him.
chenle is about to punch himself in the face for having such thoughts.
"i have no idea what your talking about".
"chenle, i know i don't know you personally like that, but i have never seen you look at someone like you look at him! what is his name? y/n? he has to have you under a spell or something, you were mesmerized".
chenle wants to say that those words are stupid, he wants to spit out some quick rebuttal and have them be on their way, but he can't muster up a coherent excuse for what she just described. how is he supposed to argue with that?
"well, y/n does know how to keep people on the hook".
"seems you enjoy being kept on the hook".
the statement makes chenle pause, and he feels his face burn once again, not at the words, but just at the thought of you, god he misses your presence already, is that weird to say? he's glad he doesn't say it out loud.
"it doesn't matter anyway, what am i supposed to do? tell him about it? not with how everything is turning out.. were getting married in a few months".
"but you're not in love with me" yinuo replies, she's sure of her words, she just knows, chenle almost feels like she's reading his mind. "you want him".
"i can't have him" chenle states as if it's a matter of fact, and it's true, he can't have you. it makes his heart hurt, the idea that even with how much he feels for you, how different it is with you, and how he's had these indescribable feelings for you since he was like eleven, he can't have you.
chenle can't run from his fate, the last thing he wants to do is break the rules, challenge a system that's been in place for pretty much decades at this point.
"you're not going to break the rules for true love?"
chenle just lets a disappointed sigh escape his lips, his stomach flips uncomfortably and he feels his head begin spinning, this topic makes him want to die in the worst way possible. "true love doesn't exist" he states rather harshly. god, he sounds like father, if seven year old chenle heard himself now, he'd grimace at the words and scowl at his new nature.
his heart aches as he utters those words, he can't help but think about you as he says those words.
good god, he feels so helpless.
"MOTHER, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?" NINE YEAR OLD CHENLE liked to ask questions. chenle has always liked to ask questions, being curious is in his nature, it's just that unlike jisung, he's less annoying about it. when this question popped into his nine year old brain, he knew there was no way he could ever ask father about it, he'd never be able to come back from it. mother has always been much more understanding, even with the stubborn statements she often spouted.
"yes you can, chenle".
"are.. well, can a noble and a commoner ever end up together?"
the question received silence from his mother, who, though she had previously been humming to a pleasant tune, seemed to freeze at even the idea of that question. the nine year old prince watched as his mother's face did at least seven expression changes in a matter of seconds. "could you elaborate on that question, dear?"
"can royalty marry non-royalty? could i ever be with someone who isn't royal like me?"
the reason nine year old chenle was so interested in asking this question was because of something kun had mentioned to him, about one of his cousins marrying into a royal family far far away. it got his mind turning in ways only a child's mind can, he never knew that could happen, he had grown to think that he would just end up with any other princess but could he really have a different fate? could he really change his future?
seeing as how things have gone now.. no, he couldn't.
"it depends on how it goes down, chenle".
"has it ever happened before?"
"of course it has happened" his mother finally answered, and the curious young prince allowed for his eyes to widen comically. oh he was so interested now. "in most scenarios when it does happen the commoner becomes a royal".
"i thought that was outlawed".
that statement got a laugh out of his mother, which made the nine year old blink dumbly. "it can't be outlawed, chenle, that would be ridiculous".
"so could i be with someone of a different class?"
"well, it depends on how it all works out".
chenle blinked again, the wording of the sentence confusing the young prince even more. "would father ever approve of something like that?"
she then went silent again, turning away from chenle to gaze at the bright blue sky. "i'm.. not sure, you know how unpredictable he is".
"well that's why i didn't ask him this".
another chuckle sounded from his mother, and at nine years old, chenle didn't know what was more shocking, knowing that he could possibly not have to be forced into a marriage with a princess from a faraway kingdom, or knowing that his mother didn't really have an issue with that.
too bad he didn't try to use any of that childlike courage to get his point about this marriage across.
when the little parade celebrating his marriage is over, chenle finds himself immediately on his way somewhere. he doesn't know exactly where he was going, his feet seem to have control over themselves, and he can't exactly stop himself from walking.
oh, he knows where he's going.
his feet lead him to a familiar place, your office. throughout that whole.. gathering thing or whatever, he couldn't stop thinking about you. he usually can't stop thinking about you these days, just talking to you is enough to entertain his mind for weeks, surely that can't be normal, right?
"y/n?"
chenle's sudden call startles you, seeing as how you jump from your previous position at the sound of it. he just sort of stands there awkwardly, allowing for you to compose yourself as you smile at him. oh you're smile is so pretty, chenle could stare at it for hours. "oh lord, you scared me! your highness".
chenle doesn't even register the title, just gives a small smile. "sorry i'm just.." he pauses, trying to collect his words. "i don't know, actually, i just kind of came here on a whim" he shrugs, looking down at the floor and not straight at you.
you simply let out a silent chuckle, turning back to your desk and going back to packing. chenle blinks, biting down on his bottom lip as he clears his throat. "oh really? is something bothering you?"
chenle allows for himself to look up again, your back is turned now anyway, so you can't see his rapidly reddening face. "a lot is bothering me, really, it feels like i can't do anything these days without feeling like the world is slowly tearing me apart limb by limb".
"well that's certainly a way to explain your feelings" chenle can't tell how you feel about the whole thing from the tone of your voice, it's something that makes him worry, because he's anxious your making fun of him and he won't be able to tell.
much to his own surprise, you turn around and step towards him. "are you feeling alright? like— physically at least?" you ask, tilting your head to the side to get a better look at him. just your eyes on him is enough to have chenle's stomach doing cartwheels, he hopes you don't notice how flustered he is, that would be extremely embarrassing.
"yeah i'm not dying or anything i'm just.. i'm overwhelmed".
well you'd expect that from someone like chenle, someone in such a position of power. chenle is a crown prince set to be king, he's getting married in a few months (that fact makes your heart hurt for a reason you can't explain), he's the next ruler of the zhong dynasty, of course he is feeling overwhelmed.
"ah well that's expected" you laugh lightly. "you have no symptoms though?"
is my clearly reddening face a symptom? my fluttering stomach? my seemingly labored breathing? why can't you tell i'm madly in love with you yet!?
the screaming voice in his head is just as annoyed as chenle is at his current circumstances. you narrow your eyes as you stare at him, and for a moment, chenle thinks you might be reading his mind, but he quickly dismisses such thoughts because that's ridiculous.
"no, no symptoms, i'm alright".
you seem to want to ask for more reassurance, but you don't, instead shutting your mouth and smiling at chenle. "good, i can't have you dying".
"you'd never let me die".
"you're right about that".
chenle looks down at the floor, determined to not make eye contact with you. "where are you heading?"
chenle only realizes then that you're packing your stuff, he didn't even note it down when he stepped into the room and saw that you were doing it, he was much more focused on just beginning a conversation with you, he was much more focused on talking than observing.
you hum, giving him a mere glance then looking back down to the small set of items you were packing. "i'm going to visit my mother".
chenle blinks, the words coming as a small surprise to him. "why? is she alright?"
you quickly glance back up to give him a reassuring smile. "just doing a routine check up, and it's nice to visit your mother once in a while, i need to make sure she's doing well".
chenle responds with a small 'ah', watching as you continue to pack, he feels his stomach churn uncomfortably once again, if he stays in this castle any longer, he might die from the walls which seem to slowly be pushing the air out of his lungs.
"can i come?"
chenle has no idea where that came from, it's like he had no control over his own thoughts or words, he blurted that out in a moment of vulnerability, a moment of.. wanting. he can't stay here any longer, he might die. you now fully look at him and furrow your eyebrows, clearly as puzzled as chenle is by the words. "what?" you chuckle lightly, and chenle feels his face burn immediately.
"i'm sorry, i don't even know where that came from i'll g—"
"no no you can.." you pause for a moment, collecting your words. "you can tag along if you want to i just— i don't know, you can leave the castle?"
"well yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to take me with you i don't even know why i asked that in the first place".
"chenle" you say softly, and just you saying his name like that has chenle's knees feeling weak. how did he deny his feelings for you for so long when you have him feeling like this? he's almost positive you can notice how flustered he is now. "if you want to come visit her with me, you can".
chenle stares at you for what seems like years (in his eyes), contemplating whether he should take your offer. your basically holding your hand out to him, begging for him to take it, for him to intertwine his fingers with yours. how could he ever turn down such a proposition?
"i— okay".
"okay? so you'll accompany me?"
"yeah, yes yes! i will" he replies much too enthusiastically for his own liking, you seem to catch on, as you laugh at his sudden shout. if your laugh wasn't so pretty chenle would've immediately turned away and replied with some snappy rebuttal.
"nice" you whisper, finally finishing your packing. chenle watches you intently, he can't exactly speak at the moment. luckily, you speak up once again. "we have to do something, though".
"what?"
you catch chenle's puzzled expression, and you laugh once again. "a disguise, just so you don't cause an uproar while we go visit my mother".
for the first time this whole entire day, chenle lets out a small laugh, amused by the words which escape your lips. "were gonna sneak around?"
you snicker, looking down at the floor. oh you're adorable, chenle shouts it out in his head, he can't tell you face to face so he'll shout it there.
"yeah, guess you could say that".
though he's just the slightest bit skeptical, chenle trusts you, and a smile crosses his face.
CHENLE DIDN'T REALLY THINK HE'D HAVE as much fun as he does sneaking into the village with you. well it's not really sneaking, you live here, you've grown up here, you just had to put him in some totally not suspicious cloak so that he doesn't draw attention when you make it outside of the castle. he almost fell on his face when you dragged him out of the palace gates, because of the way you dragged him, and because you started holding his hand.
chenle feels like a girl obsessing over a boy crush, just you holding his hand is enough to make him begin overthinking the whole thing in his head. according to you, you had to hold his hand to make things seem more natural, but he suspects that you're lying because of how red your face is as you try to avoid eye contact with him.
chenle has only really been to the village a few times in his whole life, though he's had his fair share of experiences here as a child, he never got to stop and observe his surroundings, much too busy trying to settle his anxiety while watching all of the people in the crowd burn holes into his head with their stares.
chenle has always been fascinated by the lives of others, whether it be the stories kun told of the urban legends village kids would spread, or the many times he begged the staff to take him on carriage rides throughout the kingdom as a child. he likes seeing situations through other people's eyes, the life of citizens who don't live as royalty seems like nothing far from the fictional stories he reads in the books in the library.
"you almost pulled off my arm, that was totally suspicious!" chenle whisper-yells, but it's not a shout of seriousness, it's playful, the beginning of a banter.
"oh i'm sorry your highness! do you need medical attention?"
chenle feigns an offensive gasp at the sarcastic comment from you, which results in nothing but a snicker from you as you nudge him with your shoulder. he caresses the back of your hand with his thumb unconsciously, ignoring his clearly heating cheeks as he performs the action.
"do you still live in the same place you grew up?"
"hm? oh yeah, we could never really afford to get another place, it's become a super comforting place for me.."
"ah, i see".
chenle admires your face for much longer than he was supposed to, and if you notice, you don't seem to care enough to comment on it.
chenle allows for his eyes to roam freely around the expanse of a town. it's a pretty place, even with how tiny it seems, he feels much more relaxed here than in the large palace he grew to know as a home, the palace was really in the middle of nowhere, no fellow citizens around for him to make connections with or whatever. this town is the clear definition of community, the kind of place where everyone knows everyone.
"oh y/n! y/n!"
chenle startles from his thoughts when a shout rings in his ears, you snap your head towards the figure, a figure chenle can tell you recognize because you give them a smile, he opts to stay silent in this interaction. "hi tao, how is ying doing?"
the man smiles brightly at you, pulling you into an abrupt hug, making your fingers slip from chenle's. you squeak as he squeezes you in his arm, but you manage a smile, resisting the urge to glare at chenle as he silently snickers at your suffering. "she's recovering well! thank you so much, i don't know how i could ever repay you!"
"there's no need to" you smile softly again, finally able to remove yourself from his crushing grip, you rub your aching arm and awkwardly chuckle. "i just enjoy helping others, i'm glad she's feeling better, tell her i said hi".
"will do! thank you so much!"
the guy gives one last smack on your shoulder before walking off, and chenle has to resist the urge to laugh loudly as you wince from the strong grip who had been squeezing you to death with that hug.
"are you enjoying my misery, your highness?"
chenle can barely contain his laugh as he looks over at you, being met with your deadpanned gaze. he looks down at the floor to stop his giggling, making you frown. "no, it was just too hilarious not to laugh at".
"uh huh, you're sooo funny".
though you were clearly irritated by chenle's laughing fit, you only softly smiled at him trying to hide his laughter. you reach over to take his hand once again, just playfully glaring at him. "yeah continue laughing at my suffering, we still have to make it to my mother's house".
chenle, again, gets jolted forward by a strong tug on his hand, but he doesn't say anything more, just snickers as he sees the pure dedication in your eyes. he smiles as he sees the look in your eye, you're just so adorable.
when you abruptly stop, chenle bumps into you, and your fingers slip from his, an action which makes him frown in just the slightest. he likes holding your hand, he has no idea why, but he does.
you begin digging through your bag for your house key, and chenle simply watches, listening to you hum the tune of a song, one you always hum the tune to whenever you find yourself bored. "here" you whisper, victorious in your search for your keys. you quickly unlock the door and gesture for chenle to follow you in with nothing but the tilt of your head, he silently steps into your childhood home, a comforting feeling in the air as he closes the door behind him.
while you drop your bag onto a nearby table and begin looking through it again, chenle slowly removes the cloak he had been wearing as he observes his surroundings.
the place is nice, small, but nice. it has a comfortable sort of air that makes chenle want to immediately relax, it's not the fanciest place, or the biggest place, but it's a home, a comfortable, quiet home. chenle would love to live here, maybe in another life, a life where he doesn't end up born into a highly respected royal family, he just gets to live like this, it's a place that seems to bring a feeling of solace.
chenle glances over at you, your eyebrows furrowed as you continue going through your bag. you seem to sense his eyes, because you glance up at him and you meet his eyes. you blink, then glance over at a door across the room. "you can go see her if you want".
chenle awkwardly chuckles as he glances at the door your eyes were on, he then glances back at you. "i— can you come with me?"
chenle just wants to stay around you.
you stare puzzled for a moment, but you don't question it, you leave your bag alone and gesture for chenle to follow you to your mother's room. chenle stays silent the whole way there, noticing the way your mood changes as you step closer to the door.
you knock on the door. "mom?"
when you open the door, you peak your head through, a small chuckle escaping your lips as you hear her say something. "yes yes i know, i'll remember to tell her, i brought a guest".
chenle slowly peaks from behind you, giving your mother a small smile. "hello" he greets softly.
your mother gasps, sitting up in her bed. "zhong chenle?"
chenle lightly chuckles, looking down at the floor, you nudge him with your shoulder. "oh my goodness, you've grown so much! come here give me a hug!"
chenle is almost surprised, he was afraid she was going to have a bad reaction to his presence, but she was much more excited to see him than he thought she would be. you push chenle into her room, motioning for him to fulfill your mothers wish.
she quickly wrapped her arms around him when he got close enough to her. her hugs are still as warm as he remembers, he almost wants to hug her forever and never let go. "how are things going these days? i wanted to go to that little parade of yours but y/n forbid me from doing so!"
"because you were vomiting all morning, i wasn't going to risk it".
she pulls away from the hug to grab both of chenle's hand, smiling softly at him. the smile reminiscent of the smiles she would share with him in the hallways of the palace when she used to work there. "you always worry so much" she raises an eyebrow at you before turning back to chenle. "how have you been these days?"
chenle smiles at her, noticing you leave the room, but too focused on answering the question from your mother to follow you. "i've been good, just a little stressed from everything happening lately".
her eyes widen again, and she nods excessively. "right! your getting married soon! how are you feeling about the whole thing?"
chenle's face falls just a little bit, but he quickly reverts back to a smile, not wanting to worry her with a random frown crossing his face. "it's all.. new, it'll take some time to get used to but i know i can get through it".
the older woman smiles at him, seemingly liking those words. "that's good, i'm glad you're still friends with y/n, he missed you".
chenle blinks, the words surprising him. "he missed me?"
your mother chuckles at the question. "yes he did, i remember watching the two of you run around the castle together as children, i was afraid the friendship wouldn't last, when i first resigned, y/n said he feared you two would drift apart".
chenle almost gasps at the information he receives. were you really worried about that? for the longest time he felt like such a bad friend because he began having no time for you as the two of you grew up, yeah that's what happens as people get older but he'd always see the flash of disappointment in your eyes when he had to be dragged away for another stupid royal meeting.
"i didn't know he felt that way, it's getting much more difficult to get him alone with everything going on".
"i heard you two are beginning to talk more, he always comes to me so giddy about it these days".
chenle is again surprised by the information he hears, a small laugh of disbelief escapes his lips at the words. "really?"
"yeah, he came freaking out over you two talking about books, books! you make him so happy, chenle".
the words strike chenle like a slap in the face, it's just so shocking to him he stands with his mouth agape for much longer than he'd like to admit. his face burns at the fact, at the idea that pops into his brain.
the idea that you might feel the same.. that you might reciprocate his feelings.
he swears smoke is going to begin pouring out of his ears from how heated his face has become.
"i'm glad i could do that, y/n is truly a blessing, i don't know what i'd do without him".
chenle thinks those must've been his truest words today, a look into what's really going on in his head, a look into how he really feels.
god it's always with you isn't it?
"it was nice seeing you again, mrs. l/n, i'm glad your recovering well".
at the word 'recovering', the older woman suddenly tenses, an anxious look in her eye as she looks away from the crown prince. "right, yes, thank you for visiting, chenle, it was nice seeing you too".
chenle smiles at your mother, nodding. "i'll leave you be now".
chenle slips his hands from hers, smiling one more time before leaving her room, gently closing the door behind him. he turns around and looks over at you, your still rummaging through your back, but chenle can tell you aren't looking for something, you seem to be trying to distract yourself.
"y/n?" chenle calls out, seemingly against his own will, because he's surprised by the sound of his own voice. you simply hum in response, not wanting to look him in the eye for some unknown reason. he quickly makes his way over to you, standing beside you and accidentally bumping your shoulders.
"is she really sick? i mean she looks fine! much finer than any sick people i've seen—"
"it's her kidneys".
you cut into chenle's sentence with a shaky tone of voice, you look over at chenle, sighing as you see the confusion cross his face. "her kidneys are failing, chenle".
chenle feels his heart drop upon hearing that, and you look away as you see his reaction to the news. "what? but how did that even happen—"
you let out a distressed sigh, gritting your teeth and closing your eyes. "she contracted lupus, right before she took that break back a few years ago, she recovered and we thought everything was fine but then she started vomiting every other day and i couldn't figure out what was wrong so we went to a doctor outside of the kingdom and.."
you look like you're about to cry, and you take in a deep breath to blink away the oncoming tears, but you persist, not wanting to break down in front of the crown prince. "she got diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, by that point she had been suffering from it for a whole five months! and what can i do? it's.."
incurable.
the word simmers into the air, it's unsaid, but both of you know what's truly going on. your both silent, none of you saying a word as silence quickly takes over the room. chenle finally takes the initiative and glances over at you, the tears brimming in your eyes threatening to fall at any moment.
still, you don't allow for yourself to become vulnerable in front of chenle, wiping the tears that haven't fallen from your eyes. "it's a lot to try and digest at once i'm just.. i'm not ready to see her go".
chenle gets it, anyone would get it, he stays silent, afraid of not being able to do the comforting as well as you do. "i'm sorry".
"there's no need to apologize, i mean— this is just how life works!"
"i hate that it works that way" chenle responds, fathers dying eyes flash in his mind, and he bites into his bottom lip so hard that it begins bleeding. god, he hates that memory, father only passed away no less than a year ago, and the image of his lifeless face still haunts chenle in his nightmares.
"yeah, but what can i do?" your clearly trying to be positive, but it's difficult for you to. "i'm just worried that one day i'll come home and she'll be gone.. i already had to go through it with dad and now— i don't know how i'll deal with it".
chenle stares at you, a small smile comes to your face as you glance back at him. chenle wants to cry just seeing you try to hold back your own tears, so he looks away from you quickly.
he then looks back at you, moving closer to you and taking your hand. "if you ever need someone to talk to, to vent to, to— yell and cry at.. i'm here".
you chuckle at the words, tears again welling up in your eyes. chenle feels you squeeze his hand, and he smiles softly at the sight of you. "really? you'll listen to my stupid ramblings?"
"yeah" chenle responds, nodding a little bit too enthusiastically, but he doesn't care. "i will, your feelings are just as important as mine, and you're my friend, it's what friends do".
you squeeze his hand, laughing softly again as you let a small tear slip down your face. "thank you, chenle".
"it's no problem, y/n".
CHENLE IS GENUINELY GOING INSANE, AND ITS ALL because of you. he can't focus on anything but you, and it's literally driving him crazy. he has never, never in his 21 years of living on this earth ever felt so much for just one person, what is it with you? he can't even think about you without his face turning a bright shade of red, his palms easily get sweaty and his words become nothing but a jumbled mess.
chenle finds it hilarious, how he was raised to be poised and proper, never swear, never talk when you don't have to, never interrupt others, sit like this sit like that, speak like this, speak like that, but right now, he's acting like a psycho more than anything.
he's pacing around his room like he just lost his mind or something, completely distracted from everything else as his mind is focused on you and you only.
he must look crazy, hair messy, clothes in disarray, pacing back and forth as he tries to figure out if feeling like this is normal, or even allowed here.
"chenle? could you explain to me why your mother wants— oh dear".
kun walks in midway through chenle's strange breakdown thingy, and the younger isn't even paying attention to him because he's screaming into the pillow on his king sized bed. the older watches in concern, and the breath chenle lets out is a mix of weary and frustrated. "chenle? what's wrong?"
kun drops the clipboard he'd previously been holding to rush over to the younger's side, if he focuses hard enough, he swears he can see tears welling up in chenle's eyes. "chenle.."
chenle sniffles, looking down at the pillow in his lap. "i'm in love with him, kun".
kun blinks, dumbfounded. "with who?"
"with y/n! i can't— oh my god i'm so stupid!" the crown prince grabs his pillow again and lets out a well needed scream of agony, a scream that makes kun sigh as he stares at the sight before him. "i don't get it! why does he make me feel like this!? everything is so complicated and i can't even do anything about it because i get married in two months—!"
"okay okay, calm down" kun is quick to cut in, pressing a quick thumb to his cheek to wipe away the tears. "take a deep breath, talk coherently".
chenle sniffles again, taking in another breath and then exhaling, collecting himself as he tries his best to think coherently. "i don't know, kun, it's all getting to my head, i want him so bad yet i can't have him".
and just the fact makes chenle stomach drop, he wants to start sobbing once again, but he contains his tears. "it's stupid i know—"
"it's not stupid, chenle, it's totally fine to have complicated feelings about things, and people, but you'll never have closure if you don't tell him how you feel".
"but what's the point, kun?" chenle doesn't see why it would matter anyway, what would you even do when he told you how he felt? would you grimace and push him away? would you accept his confession? what would you do? it's all he can think about. "what difference does it make?"
"it gets the pressure off your back.. and, if it's any consolation for you, both you and y/n can finally come to terms with your feelings".
chenle's eyes widen at the words, they settle a new emotion on him he can't exactly explain. "what the hell do you mean by that?"
"language, your highness" kun jokingly reprimands, his tone reminiscent of his mothers scoldings whenever chenle would mess up the garden of roses on occasions. "y/n might've.. told me some things, but you'll have to ask him about that".
"that isn't fair!"
"it is! you have to ask him yourself, it's the only way to get yourself in order!"
chenle deadpans at his older friend, but kun just snickers at his expression, lightly shoving his shoulder. "don't look at me like that, you know i'm right".
chenle would roll his eyes, but kun does have a point. "maybe i'll listen to you.."
"you should".
chenle has to resist the urge to roll his eyes at that response too.
CHENLE THINKS YOU LOOK EXCEPTIONALLY PRETTY when you read. it's not that you're not usually exceptionally pretty, it's just that he enjoys admiring your profile as you read, eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowed, lips occasionally parting in shock, he could stare for hours. he might look creepy on a few certain occasions, but you rarely ever notice.
chenle doesn't know how many times the two of you have been up together late in the night, just sitting in the library talking about literature. he doesn't even remember what your talking about most of the time, but he loves talking to you about bullshit pertaining to the books your both into.
for the both of you, books are sort of an escape in a way. chenle enjoys indulging himself in worlds of fiction to distract himself from his mess of a life, and you enjoy indulging yourself in messy love stories with terrible endings to distract yourself from your own issues in life.
it's all truly a coping mechanism for you two.
you both are a coping mechanism for each other, chenle finds it all simpler around you, and you feel as if you don't have to be so professional around him anymore.
chenle doesn't sleep much these days, but that's because he's spending most of his nights in the library with you. he likes listening to you talk, the way you simply piece together your words is amazing.
"and it was so sad! i cried my eyes out for weeks after reading that!"
chenle snickers at your whining, and you caress the material of the book in your hands. "i mean.. the book is literally called, they both die in the end".
"i know! i know! but that doesn't mean it's still not sad" you frown, recalling the ending of the book you were rambling about.
you quickly stop your pouting and make your way over to another part of the library, the section including romance books. chenle doesn't follow you, but his eyes surely do, he makes sure to keep them trained on you, as if you'd disappear if he even looked away from you for just a moment.
"do you want any more recommendations? or..?"
"oh, no no no" chenle shakes his head. "i just—" he pauses, having no idea how to say the words without sounding like some weirdo who totally has a crush on you.
well he is a weirdo who totally has a crush on you, how hypocritical.
"i like listening to you talk".
you blink at his words, noticeably flustered at the way they came out. chenle takes your silence as you judging him, so he's quick to chuckle awkwardly and begin waving dismissing hands. "i didn't mean to say that i know it was weird and stuff—!"
"no no! it wasn't weird i'm just.. i'm not used to being told things like that, you're so unique with your words and i never know how to respond to them".
"oh.."
"yeah".
you click your tongue, and chenle simply stares. oh you affect him so much without doing anything, what is up with you? his ears are burning, he might collapse at the very moment.
what was that kun said again? you'll never get any closure if you don't just tell him how you feel. yeah, he isn't sure if he'll be able to do it.
"can i show you something?"
chenle's breath hitches against his will, he has no idea why he's nervous, why the hell is he nervous? it's just you, it's you, his friend since he was a child, his oldest friend, you probably know him better than he thinks you do.
you wouldn't do anything bad.
"is it terrible?" he raises an eyebrow, and you laugh. your laughter is pretty, so pretty. "well? is it?"
"no, just come here" you beckon chenle over to you with your hand, a hand he almost shies away from, but he can't shy away from you, so he steps closer, following you. he feels like a mind controlled puppet, your a magnet attracting him closer and closer until he presses into you.
you smile as you see chenle in your peripheral vision, your fiddling with something in your fingers. chenle furrows his eyebrows, having no idea what it is, he tries to look over your shoulder, but you quickly block his eyesight, much to his own dismay. "why are you hiding?"
"i'm not hiding! be patient, your highness".
your teasing tone of voice doesn't make it past chenle, but he doesn't stay anything, just keeps his mouth shut. you hum as you turn back to chenle, still fiddling with your fingers as you smile at the crown prince, who is puzzled by what you're doing exactly.
you then open your palm, extending it forward towards chenle, and his eyes widen at what he sees.
"what is..?"
"we— um.. remember that friendship bracelet i made for you when we were ten? the one you broke?"
chenle laughs lightly, his face burning. "yes i remember.."
"well, i kept mine, and because were.. you know, friends again, i remade it for you, if you want it of course!"
chenle stares at you, then he stares at the bracelet in your hand, and he can't resist the urge to smile. you're absolutely adorable, sweet, chenle really really really likes you. his silence makes you anxious, and you want to begin picking your fingers until they bleed.
chenle must realize it, because he immediately laughs, a hearty laugh, a lovely laugh. "y/n, i love it, it's so.. cute i can't— how long did it take you to make this?"
"well i was thinking about it for a while and i just barely finished this last night i just.. i don't know, i missed you, a lot" you say, your words a vomit of adoration, oh you're so adorable. "it was a brash decision really".
"you're so—"—cute—"sweet, really".
you again step closer to chenle, silently asking to have his wrist with the extension of your hand. he doesn't even think before placing his hand into yours, allowing for you to slip the bracelet onto his wrist. it fits perfectly. of course it does, chenle can barely stifle his giggle.
he feels so giddy.
you don't let go of his hand, and chenle doesn't move his hand either. he stares at the indirect act of affection, his hand gently placed upon your palm, a palm that you aren't moving. what are you two doing? what the hell is going on?
"y/n" chenle calls out, his voice barely elevated as he avoids eye contact with you. "what is.. what are we doing?"
"i don't know" you mutter, blinking. you don't even think before taking your free hand and intertwining it with chenle's other free hand, now your holding both of his hands, an action that has chenle's face reddening to amazing heights. "your hands are warm".
chenle simply looks away, basking in the feeling of your fingers laced with his. he likes holding your hand, it just feels right, your fingers intertwined with his, your hands placed on his.
"yours are cold".
the words are nothing but your observations of each other whispered into the air. it's a strangely intimate moment, you two are just staring at each other in the library, your short breaths can be heard in the silence of the huge room around you.
you sink your teeth into your bottom lip, then stare at chenle's. chenle blinks, he sees you, he sees what you're doing, but it doesn't seem like you're trying to be slick, you don't care, you are unashamed in your decision.
he isn't really sure how to feel about that.
you lean closer, much closer than chenle thinks he could ever handle. you give a small smile, and chenle wants to faint. he's holding your hands, your leaning close to him, and you look you want to kiss him.
and he wants to kiss you.
oh he wants to do it so bad.
"may i?" you ask, but you aren't looking chenle in the eyes, your staring directly at his lips. chenle almost chokes on his spit, are you really asking him if you can kiss him? do you really like him as much as he likes you? is he dreaming?
he stares like an idiot for so long that he almost looks frozen.
chenle nods wordlessly, but that's not good enough of an answer for you.
"verbal consent, chenle".
chenle wants to pull you into a kiss by force right now.
"yes! yes, you may".
you note his enthusiasm, enthusiasm that makes his face redden, he looks away from you, clearly embarrassed.
you chuckle silently, letting go of his left hand to take his jaw and turn him back towards you. then, you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips.
it's short, sweet, and ends in pretty much two seconds.
your cheeks are dusted red, and you immediately look away from chenle upon finishing your action. "that was stupid, right? i'm sorry! i don't know why i did that i jus—"
chenle doesn't let you finish, he grabs the back of your neck and smashes your lips together. you let out a small squeak of surprise, clearly not expecting the action, but you quickly relax into the kiss, sighing softly as you let an arm wrap around his waist, pulling him closer with your hand on his back.
it's.. nice, it feels right, chenle is relaxed. his heart isn't pounding uncomfortably, he doesn't feel that anxious pit in his stomach, his chest isn't tight, he feels like he can breath (ironic, really), and he doesn't want to burst into tears at his circumstances.
he feels good, he feels content.
god, it's always with you isn't it?
"wait wait, hold on" you pull away for air, pressing your forehead against chenle's as you gather your words. you chuckle awkwardly, looking down at the floor instead of at the crown prince in front of you. "sorry, i don't know how to feel about this".
chenle blinks up at you, and all you can see are his pretty eyes staring at you. you fumble through your speech, trying your best to be coherent even with the way he was staring. "i'm just.. i don't know, i have to check up on my heart levels and shit—"
chenle gasps loudly. "language, y/nie".
"you can't just say that after you literally took away my breath you.." you stop in your speech, snickering at the way you're acting, the red on your cheeks doesn't disappear, but chenle thinks he likes it that way.
"y/n" you look up as chenle calls your name again, now completely focused on him. "i.. i don't really know how to say this but i— i like you, okay? like a lot, not even just that i'm in love with you! it's.. complicated".
wow, so much for a smooth confession, chenle.
chenle narrows his eyes at the voice in his mind, it sounds like.. you?
you freeze at the confession, your whole body paralyzed as you try your best to process the words in your head.
"oh".
chenle can't tell how you feel by your tone of voice, but to him, it doesn't sound good.
CHENLE USED TO BE AFRAID OF ASKING HIS FATHER certain questions. he was unpredictable in the sense that chenle never knew how he'd react if he asked him a question as simple as what 1+1 was. when father was alive, chenle feared him, not because he was physically violent or anything, but because he was intimidating. the air temperature would lower whenever he stepped into the room, and the way his voice boomed when he talked was enough to have chenle shivering for weeks.
"father, may i ask you a question?"
"is it a stupid question?"
at thirteen years old, chenle was still as fearful of his father as he was back when he was seven, and he almost wanted to cry the moment his father responded to his question with another question. he swallowed his own spit, a feeling of anxiety immediately settling onto him. "well— i'm not sure.."
his fathers shoulders relaxed, and he hummed. "what is it, chenle?"
"why do i have to get married?"
the question was much more abrupt than chenle wanted it to be, and he clamped his mouth shut as soon as the words escaped his lips. his father stayed silent at the question, which didn't lessen his worries, it worried him much more than it should've.
his father then chuckled, he chuckled, and chenle almost let out a gasp upon seeing the sight. when was the last time he'd seen that happen? the sight was truly one to behold, he was amused, amused!!
"why are you so curious about that? you're way too young to be interested in stuff like marriage".
"i'm not that interested i just— i heard mother say something about it and i.. i don't know! i just want an answer".
his father turned back to him, an unintelligible expression on his face that chenle still doesn't understand even to this day. "let me ask you a question, chenle, do you want to get married?"
the question struck chenle as odd, but judging by his father's smile in the moment, the question was very much needed. the thirteen year old prince blinked, puzzled, but he didn't let the question linger in the air for too long, afraid of upsetting his father with his silence.
"maybe, in the future, when the time is right, with someone who i like, and know is a good.. person to me".
"person?"
chenle nodded, wordless as he tried his best not to shrink under his father's gaze.
"ah, i see".
chenle had no idea where he was trying to go with that question and statement.
"what kind of person?"
chenle was once again speechless at the question, he allowed for his eyes to roam around the room as he scoured his brain for an answer to his father's question. then, he spotted his answer, it was you, giggling with kun about a dumb joke as your mother rummaged through her work bag for something.
you caught his eye in the moment, smiling the sight of him as you waved, mouthing a small hi from where you were across the room.
chenle giggled at the sight, waving as well as he returned your greeting.
unfortunately for him, father noticed everything.
"oh? someone like y/n?"
chenle immediately snapped his head towards his father, beginning to sputter at the assertion from him. "y/n? what do you mean by that?"
his father merely glanced over at you, his lips unconsciously quirking up into a smile. "you seem to like y/n, the two of you are friends right?"
"yes, yeah we are".
"huh" his father clicked his tongue. "if you ever do get to decide who you want to marry in the future, let it be someone like him".
chenle choked on his spit, he had no idea how to respond to that. the words have stuck with him forever, even after father's death, even after his marriage to yinuo was confirmed, the words ring in his head whenever chenle does as much as look at you anymore.
it's been a week, a week, a whole entire seven days, and you have been avoiding chenle like the plague. literally. you see him in the halls and make a break for the nearest door, you catch his eyes randomly and you immediately look away. you don't smile, you don't stop to make small talk, you just turn your back and run away.
did he do something wrong? did you really not return his feelings? (no! that can't be true! why would you kiss him back if you didn't feel at least something for him?). chenle has no idea why you're suddenly avoiding him, but you are, and he has to figure out why.
so, when chenle finishes having a totally fun conversation with his mother, he makes a beeline towards your office, he knows your there, because you aren't anywhere else during the day usually. you don't visit your mother on tuesdays, chenle knows that very well.
he stops in front of the door of your office, a sudden anxious feeling taking over him. he raises his fist to knock, but then lets it fall, he instead turns the knob and opens the door to your office.
you don't perk up immediately at the sound of the door opening, mainly because your back is turned and your focused on cleaning up a rubbing alcohol spill. chenle doesn't say anything, the silence in the room practically swallowing him whole.
you still don't look back, simply humming. "did you leave something here, kun? are you going to nag me about cuts again?"
chenle keeps silent.
when you finally do turn back to look at chenle, expecting kun, you pause, an unreadable expression crossing your face. you clear your throat, smiling awkwardly as you tucked your hair behind your ear. "hi, your highness".
chenle's jaw clenches, what's with the sudden switch up? why aren't you calling him by his name anymore?
"hi, y/n".
another uncomfortable silence takes over the room, and chenle wants to die in that very moment. there's no playful banter, there's no snickering, you two aren't talking, this is one of the strangest things to ever happen to the both of you in your whole entire friendship.
you two always talk, even if it's just small talk, this random silence makes chenle anxious.
"did i do something wrong?"
judging by your reaction, that wasn't the question to ask. you simply chuckle, going back over to the spilled rubbing alcohol and finishing up with your business. "no".
"so what happened?"
"nothing happened".
"it doesn't seem that way, you've been avoiding me ever since.." chenle looks down at the floor, picking at his nails as he tries not to stare at you. "you know".
you hum, finally turning back to chenle again with the intention of making eye contact. chenle looks over at you, but not directly in your eyes, just at your face. "we can't, chenle".
"what?"
"we can't be.. we just can't, chenle".
chenle's eyebrows furrow. "you could at least elaborate on that".
"you know what i'm talking about, chenle" you grit your teeth, but you aren't frustrated by chenle, no, you seem frustrated by yourself. "you're getting married soon and i'm.. i'm nothing like you, this isn't right—"
"what makes you think that?" chenle cuts in, what is wrong with you? what the hell is wrong with you? is that really what you think? he's about to kill you. "are you embarrassed?"
"embarrassed? what? no! no! i'm literally the one who offered to kiss you i just.." you cover your face with your hand, letting a distressed groan escape your lips. "i don't want to be the reason everything goes wrong for you".
"is that really how you feel? is that really how you think i feel..?"
"chenle" you begin softly, your tone of voice making chenle's stomach flip. you close your eyes and clasping your own hands together. "i do like you too, i— love you, even, but we just can't be together".
oh. that's what it's about.
chenle sucks in a breath, he wants to shout at you, not because your making him mad, but because your right, and he knows it. he wants— no, he needs to break something, throw something against the wall in frustration, break a glass window. just anything to keep himself from having a full on mental breakdown from your very words.
"of course you would say that".
you scoff at his petty tone, but you sound more disappointed than frustrated. "your acting like i'm doing this on purpose, if things were different then maybe—"
"why can't we make it work now? huh? why does it have to be if things were different?"
"because you're getting married chenle! you— you're going to become king and i don't want to hold this over your head".
"you're so.. stupid! how is that all you've gotten from this situation?" now chenle is getting desperate, he wants you to change your mind, even if he knows it's unlikely that will actually ever happen. "you're not holding anything over my head and you're not going to make anything go wrong, i don't get it!"
"i'm being realistic.."
"how is that realistic?"
"because it's better than potentially losing my job! chenle! i have to take care of my mother, i can't afford to risk my position because someone thinks you're cheating on your fiancée with me".
your words sting, but they don't sting chenle, they sting you. your chest hurts, so you simply shake your head, sighing in defeat. your arms drop to your side and you turn away from chenle, gritting your teeth.
all chenle can do is give you a look of sympathy. "y/n—"
"chenle, leave it alone" you snap, yet you don't come off as annoyed, more upset. "i'd prefer if you'd leave".
you really just need to think, you just need to peacefully gather your thoughts without chenle in the room.
chenle wants to argue with you, to walk forward and take you by your arm, to grab you by your face and kiss you senselessly whilst telling you that he doesn't care about what anyone thinks.
but chenle obeys your wish, turning around and leaving the room.
KUN KNOWS CHENLE ALL TOO WELL AT THIS point that the younger is convinced that he's a mind reader. from his narrowed eyes to his silent snickers, he can always tell what chenle's feeling before chenle himself even does. back when they were younger, chenle assumed kun had to be some sort of supernatural being, possessing some kind of telepathic power or something, but as he's grown up, he realizes the older is just that observent.
case in point: chenle's current attitude.
"why do you keep sulking? they teach you not to do that at like.. age ten?"
kun's comment doesn't receive it's usual rebuttal from chenle, it simply gets silence, silence that kun hums at. he resists the urge to roll his eyes, standing beside the stubborn crown prince. "okay, tell me what happened".
"what?"
"there's no use in pretending that you don't know what i'm talking about, chenle, what happened?"
kun has always been assertive in this sense, chenle finds his power to be absolutely shocking. maybe, in another universe, their roles are reversed, kun would make a better ruler than chenle ever could anyway.
"i'm an idiot, kun".
the statement results in kun letting out a strange sound, a sound of complete confusion. he then raises an eyebrow, one that makes chenle want to dig a hole and die in it forever. "what is that supposed to mean?"
chenle scowls, covering his face with his hands as he resists the urge to claw his own eyes out. he lets out a groan as your face flashes in his mind, oh he is so stupid, why couldn't he just be fearless? why does he have to be such a coward?
why couldn't he be brave for you?
"i— god, i confessed to y/n but i even managed to mess that up and now we're on bad terms.."
kun goes through seven expression changes as he processes the information. "what? what are you saying?"
"he just told me the situation like how it is" he grits his teeth, looking away from the older. "we can't be together no matter how much we want to, i'm getting married and he can't risk losing his job and.. i have to go through with the marriage".
"who says that?"
"my mother, kun" chenle sighs, feeling as if he just got punched in the gut. "i don't want to put too much on her shoulders, a marriage like this has been planned for me for who knows how long and she's clearly not her best considering father didn't pass that long ago and.." a groan leaves his lips, a sour taste in his mouth. "this will make her happy, i just want her to be happy".
kun stares in silence, clicking his tongue. "have you ever tried to prioritize your happiness?"
chenle sighs. "we're not starting this again kun—"
"no, we are going to start this again, you have to think about if you're happy before ever going through with a marriage, marriage is a legally binding thing! you're gonna be in a union with this woman until you die! are you really happy with that?"
chenle opens his mouth to speak again, but it falls shut. he can't really respond to that.
all of his life he grew to believe that he'd eventually get used to arranged marriages and the idea of having to warm up to his partner. all royalty have to do it, it's just apart of the process. heck, chenle is the result of an arranged marriage himself, why would he ever challenge it when it was always the most likely outcome?
it's different because it's you. chenle can't possibly think about going through this marriage at all now that he's realized how he truly feels for you, it's not right, he shouldn't, he can't.
you're a terrible liar, chenle. at the end of the day, you will go through with this marriage, it's all too risky to not.
"i.. no, i'm not" chenle finally responds, his voice a mix of disgusted and frustrated. "i just— i always thought it was supposed to be this way, i don't want to just.. do it differently".
"well why not?"
"because this is for the good of my future, for yinuo, for my mother, to test if i can live up to the ruler my father was".
chenle bites his inner cheek, suddenly feeling nauseous. he closes his eyes, not wanting to face kun's gaze.
the older simply sighs. "i can't make you do anything you don't want to, chenle, but don't make a decision you know is going to leave you unhappy, i'd hate for you to be stuck in an uncomfortable position for the rest of your life".
and with that, kun turns and walks out of the room. chenle doesn't open his eyes until he knows kun has left the room.
the words ring in his head all day.
WHEN CHENLE WAS ELEVEN, YOU TAUGHT HIM about the several constellations that appear in the night sky. you taught him their names, how they form, what they represented, and your thoughts on them. you always had a thing for those luminous balls of gas in the sky, something about them always left you so intrigued, waiting for the next time they would show up so you could drag chenle out in the middle of the night to see them with you.
tonight, andromeda is in the sky.
it's never been a favorite of yours, more one of chenle's favorites, but he knows you'll be outside, staring at the aligned stars in the sky. he takes kun's words into account, and wishes his mother a good night before turning on his heel to make his way towards a familiar place of comfort.
the rose garden, of course.
the best thing about the rose garden is that it has the cool glass roof you can see the sky through. it was an addition that was only made a few years ago, one last hurrah for mrs. qian before her eventual retirement.
chenle spent a lot of time reading about constellations, all the information he learned he would relay to you. he loved seeing how interested you were in the information you already didn't know, your eyes would widen comically and then they would light up.
constellations have always been special to me, you told chenle once. they remind me of dad, he's the one who taught me about them, i like to think that he's now become apart of cygnus.
chenle was surprised by your way of grieving, but he couldn't exactly blame you. you liked to think your father became one with the stars, and you'd always be especially excited when cygnus appeared in the sky.
when chenle steps into the rose garden, he isn't surprised to see you already there, lips parted in surprise as you stare up at the sky through the glass rooftop. you don't notice him immediately, but when you do, you smile. "hi".
chenle bites down on his bottom lip, but he steps forward anyway. "hi".
you put your head down, then turn to chenle with an unreadable expression on your face. "i missed you".
chenle allows for himself to lightly chuckle at the fact. "you're the one whose been ignoring me all this time".
your shoulder slump, a small sigh leaving your lips as you rock back and forth on your heels. "i do realize that was pretty.. rude of me, i just needed time to think, i was probably going to have a breakdown if i didn't collect my thoughts".
chenle nods, pressing his lips together in a thin line. an uncomfortable silence passes through the air in the room, and you glance up again to examine andromeda once again.
"i'm sorry".
you snap your head over at chenle. "for what?"
"for yelling, and for calling you stupid" chenle looks away from you, ashamed of himself. "you were just being realistic and i was.. i wasn't thinking clearly, like an idiot".
"don't say that" your voice is so soft, it probably feels like clouds. "i get where you're coming from, just saying those words made me sick.." you pinch the bridge of her nose, and chenle can't stop his head from turning so that he can stare at you. oh your side profile is so pretty, chenle could admire it for hours. "i'm sorry, chenle, you probably felt like your feelings didn't matter in the moment and that was so terrible of me to do, romantic feelings or not, you're my friend, and i care about how you feel, i shouldn't have dismissed you like that".
chenle can't resist the urge to smile, his lips turn up much too quickly, but of course they do, because it's you, it's always with you. chenle has never felt such a way for another human being in his life, but he guesses your whole relationship must've been planned by the universe or something.
"you're so.. stupid" chenle reiterates, but it's said much more affectionately than the last time. "you have always considered my feelings, you are literally one of the sweetest people i know, don't apologize for thinking about yourself for once, your job is much more important than our.. relationship thing".
you pause at the words, shaking your head as a small snicker falls from your lips. "i love you, chenle".
oh.
if chenle didn't have any self control, he would've done a trust fall right then and there. he wants to faint onto the floor and never get up. hearing the words from you makes him exceptionally giddy, you make him happy, you make him so happy, oh chenle is so glad to have you in his life.
happy ending or not, at least he finally knows what you feel for him.
"i love you too" he whispers, his voice getting stuck in his throat, the shock doesn't wear off that quickly, unfortunately. you reach over for his hands, intertwining your fingers with his. it feels so right, chenle could just be like this forever, and everything would be fine.
as long as he's with you, everything will be fine.
you hum at the response, a red color dusting your cheeks. you could just barely stifle your giggle, and it's simply amazing to chenle. you're just as giddy about him as he is about you.
oh chenle loves you so much.
you look up at the sky once again, eyes lighting up at the sight of the aligned stars. "andromeda has always been your favorite, right?"
chenle wants to faint, you remembered. "yeah".
you smile, your smile is beautiful.
you're a desperate man, zhong chenle.
he can't exactly disagree with that.
"you have good taste".
"you flatter me too much".
you finally looks back down, snickering as you squeeze chenle's hands. you lean forward and press a kiss to chenle's lips, it's simply a peck, but chenle loves it. "you deserve it".
chenle wants to squeal like a teenage girl with a crush, you're so cute, you're so adorable, he loves you, he loves you so much.
maybe you can't make it work now, not in this universe at least, but there could be another universe, another timeline where it does work, where it doesn't have to end like this.
chenle is upset it can't be this universe, but this is just how life works. knowing that he can't change his fate, knowing that he will go through with this marriage, knowing that he probably has no true shot with you is all upsetting, but he'll learn how to deal with it, at least you're still by his side.
at least your still in his life, he's grateful for that.
and when he sees you giggle once again, his heart warms. as long as you're happy, that's all that matters.
#zhong chenle#chenle#nct#nct dream#nct u#chenle nct#chenle nct dream#nct dream imagines#nct dream drabbles#nct dream scenarios#chenle imagines#chenle scenarios#nct x reader#nct x male reader#nct dream x reader#nct dream x male reader#zhong chenle x reader#zhong chenle x male reader#𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!
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HAPPY BDAYYYY !!! coincidentally it is also my mom's bday today lol, here's a lil buckytony for u !!!
which connects to my prompt: tony is used to feeling cold, he had to be (the cave was so cold in the death of the night) and he knows that bucky is, too, even if the man always seem to run hot due to the serum. well, it's the winter season, what better excuse does he have except that he needs a human blanket?
basically tony holding hands, hugging, or cuddling bucky to fend off the cold !!
happy birthday again !!!
hello!!! i’m SO sorry this took practically half a year but i just want you to know that your art makes me so happy and seeing this in my inbox was one of the best gifts i could have asked for. bucky and tony are so fucking cute and i’m obsessed with bucky’s blush and tony’s eyelashes 🥰 i hope your mom also had a lovely time celebrating her birthday!!
anyway, without delaying this any further than i already have—
———
Bucky had never been able to feel anything with the heavy silver arm that was forced onto him, which made it useful as a shield as well as a blunt force weapon. It was perfect for the Winter Soldier, the unfeeling assassin whose sole existence was to comply orders and complete missions. Having it blown off may have been a shock at first, but it had quickly morphed into relief when Bucky had realized that losing the arm was the first real step towards finally, truly breaking free from the shackles of Hydra.
Since having his triggers removed and embarking on his slow journey towards recovery, Bucky has decided that he has no interest in fighting anymore, keen to stay home and monitor the feeds while the rest of the team is out being heroes. He’s happy to be retired, happy to uncover new things about himself as he learns how to bake croissants and build terrariums. It’s a kind of peace he never thought he’d be able to have when he was trapped for seventy years as a prisoner of war, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything.
So when he had been asked what he would like in a new prosthetic, Bucky had said, just a regular arm; no super strength, no nifty weapons hidden in the plates. Just a functional part of his body for him to get through his daily life.
Tony had gone above and beyond, presenting Bucky with a prosthetic that had far exceeded his expectations. Not only is the arm intuitive, with nanobots that shift like real muscle and fat as Bucky moves, but it is also regulated to match the rest of Bucky’s body in strength and temperature. If it had been painted a color to match Bucky’s skin, it would almost be indiscernible to a real arm.
Despite the prosthetic being made with the most advanced technology the world has to offer—despite all the cyborg jokes his friends like to tease him with—Bucky has never felt more human.
With the new arm, Tony hadn’t just given Bucky back a sense of normalcy. He’d also given Bucky a brighter future than he had ever dared to imagine.
He still remembers the day in the lab after they had run through their last series of tests with the new arm.
He had just put down the stress ball they used for the pressure test, still marveling at how he could feel the texture of the rubber, when Tony had spoken up.
“Okay. One last thing I’d like us to try. Hold your hand out?”
Bucky had done as he was asked, not quite sure what to expect, when Tony had reached out with his right hand and wound their fingers together. He hadn’t been able to hold back a gasp, staring at their joined hands as he felt the cold of Tony’s hand seeping through the warmth that he hadn’t realized was coming from his own arm. Then Tony had squeezed once, affectionately, stepping closer until they were only inches apart, and Bucky’s heart had stuttered in his chest as he glanced up and saw the way Tony had been smiling at him.
“How does this feel?” Tony had asked, red faintly dusting his cheeks in a way Bucky had been sure no one else had ever seen before.
Feeling whole and brave, and like the ice in his veins is finally starting to melt for the first time in decades, Bucky had gently squeezed back.
“Good. It feels nice. You feel nice.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I like it.”
“Well, good. You’re warm, so I think I’ll be holding on to you for a while. You know, just to stave off the cold,” Tony had declared.
“Sure thing, doll.”
Tony is tactile. That had been the first thing that Bucky learned about Tony when the team had been pardoned, made their amends with each other, and gone back to New York.
His touches are gentle and reassuring, drawing smiles from whoever he has focused his attention on at the moment. Rhodes leans into the hand that Tony brushes against his back as he walks by, for a moment relying on his friend’s strength instead of his leg braces. Natalia is a constant presence by Tony’s side during movie nights, bumping her head against his hand like a cat just so he would play with her hair. Peter beams like he’s aced a test every time Tony squeezes his shoulder affectionately after helping with his physics homework. Steve rolls his eyes fondly whenever Tony pokes his abs teasingly after a workout, but always teases right back by lifting his shirt up to goad Tony into doing it again.
Being touched by Tony is like a drug, and Bucky has been addicted since the first time Tony held his hand. Which is just as well, because when Tony said he would be holding on for a while, he wasn’t kidding.
After that first time in the lab, Tony always, always holds Bucky close when they’re together.
He takes Bucky by the hand and drags him to dinner with the team, never loosening his grip even when Sam raises a pointed eyebrow at their joined hands. “For warmth,” Tony says, and when he takes his place at the table, he promptly kicks Steve out of his usual spot because he refuses to release their entwined fingers. Bucky just watches amusedly as Steve takes his old seat next to Rhodes and sits down next to Tony, only letting go so he can scoot closer and swing his arm across the back of Tony’s chair as they eat.
He drapes Bucky’s left arm over his shoulder when they’re out, snuggling close to his side as they take the long way walking home after dinner. “For warmth,” Tony says, even though he’s wrapped up in several layers of expensive wool and cashmere. Bucky just pulls him in tighter and steers him towards their favorite gelato bar for dessert, because even though Tony runs cold and always claims he doesn’t like sweets, Bucky knows he’d never say no to ice cream.
He sleeps on the right side of the bed so he can use Bucky’s arm as another pillow, despite knowing the hard planes of metal can’t possibly be comfortable for him. “For warmth,” Tony says as he presses a kiss to Bucky’s reconstructed shoulder and dozes off under their weighted blanket made of the fluffiest down feathers. Bucky just smiles indulgently and curls in closer, perfectly happy to tolerate overheating in his sleep if it means going to bed every night with his favorite person in the world.
Having Tony in his arms warms him from the inside out, like an endless summer after a lifetime spent lost in the cold.
#hahahaha the ending is cheesy as heck but idc!!! i love them your honor#is this my first real winteriron fic#buckytony#winteriron#starkbucks#bucky barnes#tony stark#kay writes things#ketzel#ask
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Must I Go Bound?
Danny Wagner x f!reader, Jake Kiszka x f!reader
Warnings: explicit sexual content, overstimulation, profanity, bondage, aggressive foreplay
18+, MINORS DNI
TAGLIST: @ignite-my-fire , @peaceloveunitygvf , @mama-likes72
A/N: A short one this time as I need to make my long awaited return to AUE, but still v juicy! As always, hope you enjoy. 🫶🏻
Chapter 2
“Y/N, what are you doing here?”
Your stomach somersaults in fear, your mind racing at a million miles an hour to find the words to string together, but you just come up with nothing. You’re just standing there, mouth gaping like a fucking goldfish, staring at Jake whilst he waits for you to speak.
“Uh, hello?”
“Oh god. Oh god.” You massage your temples frantically.
Jake moves to you and you recoil like he has some kind of contagious disease, sinking away until the backs of your knees hit the bath tub. You stumble and steady yourself, bracing onto the side of the tub with such force you’re sure you could crumble the porcelain.
“Are you ok?” Jake asks, clearly concerned by your behaviour.
You exhale heavily, wringing your hands together before you finally pluck up the courage to speak.
“I’m uh, kinda seeing Danny. I have been for a few weeks now…” you trail off.
Jake’s face twists into a devilish smirk, which confuses you. He turns to the door and flips the lock, so you rush over to him.
“No, Jake. Let me out.”
His hands find your waist, pushing you back against the vanity. He’s so close to you that you can smell his cologne, the most captivating scent that is totally him personified in a bottle. Spicy and woody, just as mysterious and alluring as the man who wears it. He pushes your hair behind your ear, leaning in closer.
“So you’re telling me, the night I had you gushing all over my kitchen island, you were also fucking one of my best friends? Tsk tsk.”
“I had no idea you knew each other!”
“Know each eachother? He’s practically my brother.” Jake laughs. “We’re in the same band, have been since we were kids.”
“You’re in Danny’s band?”
“Sweetheart, Danny is in my band.”
His lips ghost over the column of your neck, his breath is soft and light as it tickles against your skin. You swallow harshly, knowing that you need to put a stop to this.
“Jake-”
He places his index finger over your lips, then before you can register what’s happening he’s wrapping his arms around the backs of your thighs and lifting you up onto the vanity. His lips hastily find yours as his hands grip onto your thighs. You can’t help but kiss him back, you seem to be drawn to him like a moth to a flame, unable to resist the temptation of his beautiful, yet dangerous charm.
“The way I see it, nothing is official between you two. So it’s fair game, hmm?” He growls between kisses.
You nod your head no, but continue to let him kiss you.
“Nobody needs to know. You can’t tell me you want to pass up the opportunity to keep fucking me.”
You moan into his mouth, knowing full well you absolutely did not want to give up sex with Jake. But you couldn’t have both. Could you?
“Tell me to stop.” He whispers, his hands toying with the button of your jeans.
You don’t, though you should. Instead you just let him unzip your jeans and slide them down to your knees. He brings his fingers to your mouth and taps your lips. You part them and swirl your tongue around the digits, then watch as he pulls your panties to the side and begins to circle them over your clit. Your head falls down onto his shoulder, biting into his flesh to suppress the whimpers that fall from your mouth. He plunges his fingers inside of you, grazing your sweet spot. He uses his thumb to continue working you up to your peak, which finds you incredibly quickly.
“There she is. Are you going to cum pretty for me right here in his bathroom?”
Your eyes roll back into your head as you tighten around him, uttering obscenities into the crook of his neck. You’re brought swiftly back to reality when you hear a knock on the door.
“Y/N, are you in there?”
Shit
You jump down from the vanity, pulling your jeans back up and fastening them. Jake stands to the side of the door as you open it, effectively hiding him from Danny’s line of sight.
“Hey, yeah sorry. I’m not feeling so good. I’m actually about to head off.” You mutter, leaving the bathroom and closing the door behind you.
“Em said, I was just checking you’re ok? Is there anything you need.”
He’s so sweet and doesn’t deserve this, you piece of shit.
“That’s sweet of you, Danny. Thank you, I just need to go home and lay down.”
“Ok, well text me if you need anything.” He smiles, rubbing your shoulder.
As you sit in the back of the Uber, your phone buzzes in your pocket.
22:05pm
Jake: Our little secret.
You sigh and swipe the message away. The Instagram logo catches your eye in your sea of apps, so you press it to open the long neglected social media site. Your fingers move across the keyboard as you type in the only name you know in full.
Daniel Wagner
His account is the first at the top of the list presented to you. In his bio, proudly featured, is the name of his band. Jake’s band.
‘Drums for @/gretavanfleet’
Sure enough, there are photos of both Jake and Danny plastered across the grid, along with Josh and another man who you assume is also a brother due to the resemblance he bears. The Kiszka brothers, as you’ve now come to know, thanks to their Instagram handles.
“Babe, you’ve gone awfully quiet. What happened? You just disappeared.” Em pipes up from the seat next to you.
“Jake happened.” You sighed.
“Oh, shit. So he saw you?”
“Yep, followed me up to the bathroom. Then we were almost caught by Danny.”
“Caught? Oh, Y/N. What did you do?” She furrows her brow.
“He’s just… I don’t know. I can’t seem to resist him.” You huff.
“Are you going to tell Danny?”
“Fuck no! I mean, we’re just dating. I have no obligation to him.” You’re more trying to convince yourself than Em at this point.
“I support you with whatever you’re doing, you know that right? I just hope you know this could get messy.”
You don’t respond, opting to rest your head on the door to stare out of the window for the rest of the journey home.
~
Over the next few days you distance yourself from both boys, needing to calm the storm that raged within your mind. On the one hand, you wanted to tell Jake that you weren’t interested and that you wanted to give your relationship with Danny a chance to blossom. On the other, you just couldn’t keep him out of your thoughts. With Danny, it was more than just sex, you had compatibility. Even though the sex was phenomenal, there was a deeper connection there that you wanted to explore. But with Jake, it was an almost primal attraction, he scratched an itch that you didn’t know you needed to satiate. You could willingly spend days with your legs wrapped around his head, surviving off pure lust and adrenaline.
You immerse yourself into your job, using the time to focus for some well needed reprieve from the endless thoughts that plagued your weary brain. You work as a Booking and Events Manager for a local record label, it fitting in nicely with your passion for music. You were really surprised you’d never heard of Greta Van Fleet before, considering you lived in Nashville and worked in the industry. Maybe you’d heard their songs before, possibly even had friends who were fans, but for some unknown reason you’d never become familiar with them or their music. The strangest thing was, going off what people were saying online, you were a big fan of their influences. You’d always been into rock music, your Dad playing a pivotal role in that ever since you were little. Growing up you were exposed to all eras of music and one of your favourite past times was going on a road trip with your Dad, the windows rolled down, screaming along to various cassettes in his old, beaten up Dodge Viper.
You’re thrown from your reminiscent thoughts when your phone chimes. You look down at the screen to find one of the names you’d been avoiding.
13:01pm
Danny: Hey, just thought I’d check in and see how you’re doing. Haven’t heard from you in a few days.
You let out a puff of air, rubbing your eyes with your fingertips.
13:03pm
You: Hey, yeah sorry. Just been super busy with work.
13:04pm
Danny: If you want a break I’d really like to take you to dinner, if you’d like?
Oh Danny…
13:06pm
You: Yeah, sure. That sounds nice. Pick me up at 7? :)
13:07pm
Danny: I’ll be there.
You pushed the conversation to the back of your mind, vowing to worry about it after you’d finished for the day. Little did you know, this was just the very beginning of the twisted web you’d find yourself in.
As the early evening trudged on, you finally closed your laptop after an intense day of planning and scheduling. You make your way to the bathroom, pulling your hair from the bun piled high on the top of your head and letting your hair fall in a knotted mess onto your shoulders. You run your brush through the tangled strands, then flip the shower on to warm up. Once the steam started to rise, you hop in and begin to lather yourself up in your favourite body wash. The scent of creamy vanilla and honeyed almonds fills the space around you, the aroma so delicious that your mouth begins to water. You wash and condition your hair, exfoliate, then shave. Once you’re all finished, you shut the water off and step out of the shower, wrapping yourself in a plush towel. You sit in front of your vanity and begin to apply some light makeup, then dry your hair and give yourself a soft blow-out. You moisturise your body in the matching scented body lotion and walk over to your closet, opening it up and fingering through your clothing until you find something suitable for dinner. Deciding on a classic little black dress, your pair it with your suede knee high boots, and silver jewellery. Just as you pull on your crimson leather jacket, you hear a knock at the door.
You open it to Danny standing there, a bunch of tulips in hand. He’s wearing a loose fitted white cheesecloth shirt, the first few buttons undone and showing off the two pendants hanging from his neck. He’s paired the shirt with a pair of black slacks and white vans. His hair is tied back into a bun that sits at the nape of his neck, a few tendrils poking out here and there.
“Y/N, you look beautiful.” He smiles, showcasing that pearly-white grin you’ve grown to adore.
“I could say the same to you.” You wink.
Danny extends his hand out to you, offering you the tulips.
“Thank you so much, they are beautiful. I’ll just go and pop them in some water quickly, I can arrange them when I’m home.”
Once you’ve tended to the flowers you walk out to meet Danny, locking the door behind you. A few minutes into the drive, song comes on that you know all too well. You can’t help yourself as you start to sing along, tapping your fingers against your thigh.
I’ve been to Hollywood, I’ve been to Redwood
I crossed the ocean for a heart of gold
I’ve been in my mind, it’s such a fine line
That keeps me searchin’ for a heart of gold
“You like Neil Young?”
“My Dad does, we used to sing that song a lot together when I was little.” You smile, the fondness of the memory warming your soul.
“Harvest is one of my favourite albums, your Dad has good taste.”
“I wouldn’t say that to him, his ego is already big enough as it is.” You chuckle, causing Danny to laugh along with you.
You pull up to the restaurant and Danny hops out, making his way over to the passenger door and opening it for you. He takes your hand in his and you both walk to the entrance together. Once seated, the conversation flows easily. You order your food and sit back, sipping on your glass of wine as you listen to Danny talk about the direction the band is going in and how excited he is for the upcoming album. You can’t help but let your mind wander to Jake as Danny talks passionately about the band’s work. You will yourself to remain present and enjoy your evening with Danny, but Jake remains comfortably seated in the back of your brain as the evening rolls on. When your plates are collected after you’ve finished your food, your phone buzzes in your bag. Danny excuses himself to the bathroom so you decide to take a quick peek.
8:40pm
Jake: Out on a date with Daniel, are we?
8:41pm
You: Jake, texting me whilst I’m out with Danny is super risky.
8:41pm
Jake: That’s what makes it all the more fun.
8:42pm
Jake: Come to mine when you’re done
8:42pm
You: You’ve got to be joking.
8:43pm
Jake: Serious as a heart attack, angel.
Just as you begin to type your reply, Danny returns back to the table.
“Up for dessert?” He smirks, the double entendre evident in both his body language and his tone of voice.
No, don’t do it
“I’m actually super full, and I need to be up early tomorrow.”
You fucking idiot
“No problem, rain check?”
“Oh, for sure.” You wink.
You knew what you were doing was totally immoral, letting Danny wine and dine you and then running off into the arms of another man. It made your stomach twist, but the underlying lust for Jake was too strong to pull back from. So as Danny dropped you off back at your place and gave you a tender kiss on your cheek, all you could think about was what Jake had planned for the evening.
You waited for a few minutes to ensure Danny was out of sight, then hopped into your own car and began the route to Jake’s.
~
Now that you were aware of Jake and Danny’s relationship, you found yourself parking around the corner from Jake’s house. It felt sneaky, but you knew that you’d be thanking yourself later if you ever wound up in a sticky situation. You made sure your car was safely hidden from sight, then made your way to the gate. You hadn’t even lifted your hand to press the buzzer when the gates began to open in front of you. The door was open when you got to it, but no Jake in sight. You waltz into the empty foyer, the sounds of your blood pumping filling your ears. Suddenly from behind, a pair of arms wrap around your waist, pulling you backwards. A hand trails up your sternum, dragging slowly between your breasts and up to your throat, gripping your jaw and forcing your head back.
“Parked around the corner, hm? You naughty girl.” He whispers into the shell of your ear, causing every hair on your body to stand to attention.
All the feelings of guilt you had washed away along with your dignity as Jake attaches his lips to your neck, his hands roaming your body as you squirm under his touch. You were so incredibly responsive to him, as if he were a puppet master pulling at your strings. His teeth nip at the sensitive skin on your neck, eliciting a whimper from deep within your chest.
“Such beautiful noises, I hope I get to hear more of those tonight.”
He spins you around in his arms and presses his lips to yours, letting his tongue slip inside. He continues to kiss you as he pushes you backwards towards the living room. The backs of your legs hit against the cool leather of his chesterfield couch as he guides you down onto your back.
“This is an awfully pretty dress, I’m sure Danny loved it.”
“Jake.” You groan as his hands push the fabric of your dress up around your hips, slipping his fingers into the waistband of your thong and discarding them on the floor.
“Bet he thought he would be the one to have his head between your legs this evening.”
Before you could respond to his remark, his lips make contact with your clit. You throw your head back against the arm of the couch as he begins his assault on your pussy, flicking his tongue against your sensitive spot and sucking it into his mouth. Your hand finds a home in his chestnut locks, grabbing a fist full as he plunges you deeper into complete ecstasy. Just as you begin to reach your peak and your thighs squeeze together against his head, he stops. You whine needily as he rises up from between your legs. He chuckles and delivers a smack to your inner thigh, then places his finger over your lips, effectively shutting you up.
“Put your hands behind your head.”
You look up at him looming over you with your eyebrow quirked. He cocks his head to the side, silently questioning why you haven’t done as he’s asked yet. You huff and throw your arms up like a petulant child. He stands and makes his way behind you, rustling around in his pocket before grabbing your wrists and placing a zip tie around them. You pull at your arms, realising quickly that you’ve also been tied to a piece of furniture, thus halting any movement.
“Hey!”
“To stop your wandering hands. If you quit being so fucking bratty, maybe I’ll be nice and untie you later.”
With that, he’s back between your legs in a flash, picking up exactly where he left off. This time though, you’re entirely immobilised from the waist up. He rustles around in his pockets again, and then you feel a buzzing sensation.
A fucking bullet.
He slides it inside you, continuing to devour you expertly with his mouth. The mix of stimulation from inside paired with his warm, wet tongue lapping over your clit sends you into a frenzy. Your back arches as you struggle against your confines, which only spurs Jake on. He hums against you, clearly enjoying himself just as much as you are. The lewd noises of him burying his face into you fill the room, causing your eyes to roll back into your head.
“Jake, I’m gunna-”
The pleasure jolts through you before you even finish your sentence, your legs shuddering violently as your release washes over you. He works you through it, still flicking his tongue against you at a brutal pace, prolonging your high.
“Jake.” You squirm, overstimulation building within you.
“Give me another.” He speaks against you, the vibration of his lips almost unbearable.
He pulls the bullet from you and replaces it with his fingers, curling up into your sweet spot again and again. You writhe beneath him, pornographic sounds falling from your mouth with every movement.
“Jake, please.” You beg, holding on for dear life. He doesn’t stop, but the overstimulation morphs into intense pleasure as your body begins to tremble again.
“I’ll give you another, I will. But I want you inside of me.”
He lifts his head, a smirk plastered across his face. He stands and removes his clothing hastily, revealing his impossibly hard cock as it springs free from his boxers. He retrieves his pants and produces a switchblade from the pocket, then cuts you free from the zip ties and pulls you on top of him. You slide down onto him and you both moan in unison as he stretches you out. He drives up into you, quickly sending you back to the edge of another orgasm. His hands grip into your thighs so tightly that you can feel the sovereign ring on his finger imprinting into your flesh.
“You’re there, I can feel it. Let go, angel.”
You squeeze your eyes shut as the white hot coil in your core threatens to snap imminently. Jake leans forward and presses sloppy kisses to your jugular whilst rubbing his thumb in steady circles over your clit. You feel your walls begin to flutter around him.
“Jake, oh fuck!”
“Just like that baby, I’m right there with you. Fuck, you’re soaking me.” He grits his teeth as he spills inside you, fucking his and your release back in over and over until he stills. He leans his head against yours as you both catch your breath, the chains around his neck smacking against you as his chest heaves. You bring his hand up to your face a place a kiss onto his ring.
“Have I ever told you I fucking love this?”
~
When morning comes, you’re nestled within Jake’s arms in his gigantic bed, that is much too big just for him. His face is mere centimetres away from yours and you can feel the puffs of air escaping from his nose as he exhales. Once the daze of sleep has dissipated, you become hyper-aware of how intimate the setting is, so you wriggle slightly to move yourself backwards. The movement wakes Jake, who stretches his limbs out. His eyes open, then he pulls you back into him and kisses you softly.
Fuck
“Going somewhere?” He smirks.
“I was just… trying to put some distance between us.”
“What if I don’t want you to put distance between us.” He chuckles, squeezing your waist.
“You know we’re just fucking, right? I told you, I like Danny.”
“So I can’t kiss you?” He retorts, kissing you again and running his hand through your hair.
You melt into his touch, unable to resist his advances. “Ugh, fuck. Yes, you can kiss me.”
The kiss deepens and Jake’s hands begin to grasp at your body, pulling you even closer. He sucks your bottom lip into his mouth, eliciting a soft moan from you.
“You’re so beautiful.” He coos, kissing you again.
Just then, Jake’s phone pings from the nightstand. His eyes widen and he bolts up, reaching for it.
“What’s up?”
“That’s the gate… SHIT. It’s Danny!”
You freeze in horror, your worst nightmare unfolding before you.
“Stay here. Do not leave the bedroom. I’ll deal with it.” He zooms around his room, pulling on his clothing and then hastily makes his way downstairs.
You silently creep towards the door, listening through the crack.
“Hey man, I was just- woah. What happened here last night? Is that a… thong on the floor?”
Shit
“Oh, I um, picked a girl up from the bar.”
“Nice. I didn’t even know you were about last night, could have swinged by after I dropped Y/N off.”
Oh no, please don’t talk about me
“Ah yeah, sorry. How did it go?”
No no no
“Yeah it was really nice actually. I like her. She did get a bit weird at the end though, wanted to go home.”
“Oh man, I’m sure it was nothing.”
Yeah, good going Jake…
“Yeah, probably. Anyway I just dropped by to grab those strings you offered. Is that still cool?”
“Yeah. Yeah! Sorry I completely forgot about that. Let me go get them.”
“If you’re busy, I can just get them. In your office right?”
You hear Danny approach the stairs and you stumble backwards, bumping into Jake’s dresser. Danny’s movements still.
“Is the girl still here?”
FUCK
“Ah… yeah. Best if I just get them.”
Jake walks up the stairs and you hear him enter his office, rifling around in a drawer and then plodding back down the stairs.
“Thanks again man, sorry for barging in when you have company.”
“All good, don’t mention it. I’ll catch you later?”
“Yeah man, speak later.”
With that, the door closes and Jake makes his way back up to his room.
“Are you fucking kidding me?! Did you do that on purpose?” You lash out, seething beyond belief.
“No, fuck no! Of course I didn’t! I just forgot.”
“I hope that’s the case. This little thing between us is getting dangerous.” You sigh.
“Hey, I promise you. It wont happen again, I’ll be more careful.” He sits on the edge of the bed, brushing your hair from your face and behind your cheek.
“I’m gunna go, that was a bit too close for comfort. I’ll text you.”
“You sure? I can make you breakfast.”
You nod, slipping from beneath his sheets and pulling your dress over your head. Jake stands and wraps his arms around your waist, placing a kiss on your lips.
“Stay, please.”
“Jake… I can’t.”
He releases you, his somber expression riddling you with guilt. He quickly gathers himself, shrugging it off as if he hadn’t just tried to make you stay.
“It’s cool, I’ve got stuff to do anyway.”
“Ok, well thanks for last night.”
He offers a small smile and then exits the room.
You make your way to his living room to retrieve your thong, then head out to your car. On the journey back, you can’t help but let your thoughts wander back to how natural it felt waking up next to him this morning. The more you tried to focus on anything other than Jake, the harder it got to push him from your mind. When you pulled up outside your own house, you’d come to the sickening realisation that you were beginning to develop feelings for him. Your head was swimming with both Jake and Danny and the intricately twisted web that was weaving slowly out of control. But the worst was yet to come, this was only the beginning of all the heartache and chaos that this arrangement would cause. Meeting these two men would surely be the undoing of you.
#jake kiszka#jake gvf#jake greta van fleet#jake lane#jacob thomas kiszka#jaket kiszka#jacob kiszka#greta van fic#gvf#danny wagner x reader#danny gvf#danny wagner x you#danny wagner#danny lane#daniel wagner#janny gvf#janny#janny lane#jake kiszka x reader#jake gvf smut#jake kiszka fanfic#jake kiszka smut#jake kiszka gvf#jacob kiszka smut
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#good omens#´hello friends!! how are you!!#I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` )#I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey#usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from#most of the time I just get a stuffy nose#has my nose gotten stronger#but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁)#it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet#but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (:#and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors#I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set#the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer#but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet#unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home#which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car
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i won’t screenshot the dms bc i don’t feel like opening the latest message but EYE posted on my story abt the tiktok pictured below basically about how i got horny thinking abt someone working through a difficult math problem lol don’t worry abt that anyway sam slides up bc i cut part of it out so as to avoid insta censors and my slight embarrassment lol and was like does that say c*m and i was like well yes and then he was like haha what you’re into math… girl u have to walk w the thought process 😑 which i know you’re incapable of anyway so i vaguely responded like ah yeah what being away from stem for so long will do to u and he responds with like ten messages. including. ‘you gotta do it yourself’ that’s not the point 🙄 ‘you know how i’m terrible at talking to women’ wow really ‘so i realized i can calculate the speed of cum’ ‘bc i have some data’ DID I ASK?????!???!?!!!?!!!!! hello there’s oversharing and then there’s this… does the girl you’re having sex with know you share to this extent. and then he said how he accidentally brought this up to someone irl to be like haha awk whoops and i was like yeah well there r times where perhaps we need to self censor. and then i also get a message that’s like ‘hang on im doing the math’ IM NEVER EVER EVER GONNA BE ATTRACTED TO U I HOPE U KNOW THAT SCREAAMMMMM (and u need to know bc he’s genderfluid. im only using one set of pronouns for clarity on here ok i promise im not a dick. but he thinks he’s like. an exception for lesbians basically… like he doesn’t Count…. and like look im no essentialist im all for like freaky gender sex but also at so many other turns you do take advantage of being seen as a white male so. i don’t. yeah.) he’s kind of like the creepy dude at the edge of the friend group in high school named matt who would constantly harass me and my ex but like tried to be so lowk abt it. and it’s so bad basically. ‘17mph is crazy’ i hope you fall in an intersection sorry i can’t do this anymore 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫 so pissed i have to see him tmrw i should be able to watch mmxxl w scully in peace
#like. WHAT possesses a person to say all this#it’s not like i’ve never talked abt sex stuff w sam or friends i mean look at my major and shit we’re watching we’re all adults here#but like HUUUUHHHHH???? on my silly little story about wanting to watch someone do calc or some shit… shut up…#it’s actually insufferable and i need u all to know. it has not always been to#like. this egregiously bad. certainly there are some flags i missed over time even when we first met maybe but he was significantly#more chill last year.. at least as far as i interacted w him. this is like. yeah idk#and just any time we’re together in person now he launches into whatever is on his mind or he’s up to at that moment what happened to hello#how are you etc. not that i can even like stand conversation esp like. dude we haven’t talked since the day we recorded the podcast#assignment which was also egregious. why would you start off like this. hello#abby talks#i hope his other roommate like beats him up or something. wont happen but well#AND more importantly. do i wear a mini skirt tmrw if i’m seeing roommate#we’re supposed to but we were also hoping to hang outside and now it’s gonna rainnnn but we’ll see#i don’t usually go for a cunty little fit on a monday. but i could. AND i get to go to class a half hour late
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some autumn outfits~ 🍂🎃
#oc#not fanart#mori kei#hello friends! it's been a while again hasn't it#I meant to post this last month but then forgot I hadn't haha#oh well! if the shops are going to start stocking christmas stuff in october I reserve the right to keep posting halloween stuff in november#holiday creep works both ways now. I don't make the rules sorry#anyway anyway#autumn is the best season for fashion#like... you can layer! you can wear cute sweaters and knit socks and big stompy lace-up boots!#you can replace your head with a pumkin!#pumpkin heads are VERY in at the moment. trust me I'm a fashion design major#the dress on your right is actually one I made myself irl! it's sort of based on a regency morning gown#can confirm it's insanely comfy and very easy to use as an impromptu basket haha#(and yes of COURSE it has pockets what do you take me for)#anyway I hope you're all having a lovely autumn so far! eat some nice stews. jump in some leaves#watch over the garden wall if you haven't already. watch it again if you have#I shall see you anon! hopefully sooner than two months this time though haha
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omg your tags on the reblog of my post - that's word for word how i feel and i HATE it, things have felt artificial to me since 1989, reputation was better but ever since lover it's felt like that 1000x more idk.. it just sucks but yeah you're not the only one feeling that way :')
THANK YOU! It's really nice to see that someone else has been feeling this way and I really begun to think deeply into why I feel like this. And you're right, it has really been since rep that it has felt... idk, less authentic.
I remember during the red and 1989 era, taylor was doing a lot of shit that actually showed how much she loved us. And by all means, she didn't have to, but it was little things such as the hidden notes in her album lyric books that made me feel a bit more connected to her. Not to mention stuff like swiftmas, the secret sessions and of course t-party all made us feel like one big family and that she was actually thankful for us. She didn't gain anything out of this, it was all "for the fans" and it made being a swiftie loads of fun, especially those hidden messages, which lbr costed nothing to keep doing. (1989 was her last i think)
Nowadays, when she does it, it feels more calculated and less authentic and I get maybe it's a safety thing that she can't do secret sessions and swiftmas etc anymore, but now even when she does things for the fans, it's stuff like releasing loads of versions of the one album so we all buy it (see, the midnight clock), and because we have this relationship we built up with her, we feel we owe our loyalty. It feels like she does these things to show she cares, but she wants our money in return. And believe me, there's other ways you can show it. The wiping of her social media defs slightly killed her authenticity, I think. Even though I understand why she did it, it certainly didnt help her relationship with the fans or it's authenticity. I do believe she still is thankful for us, but I can't help but notice the business aspect creeping in, and I just wish a lot of swifties knew you don't have to buy in to it. She's human, she has flaws, you don't have to always defend her, or buy her merch. It's almost business at this point, and I hate it.
I hate it. And I hate it more because I almost understand why its like this.
#during red taylor could say she was thankful for us and i would believe her#now i believe her but with a hefty grain of salt!!!#i do think the merch thing can also be an issue with swifties bc apparently if you don’t own her merch#or buy all 55 copies of folklore you’re not a fan#i had a friend who was constantly telling me i was less of a fan and she always wanted my merch#the merch was my red tee from when she was in sydney and even then that brings up something else because her merch quality has gone down#and the prices have gone up and that shirt from 2013 has survived. i mean it is defs aging but it's survived the trenches#but like taylor is fully playing into this and ppl fall for it bc she apparently loves us#i may have been 12 then but at least it didn’t feel like she was constantly trying to get me to buy shit#there were lots if bad things about being a swiftie then but hey at least Taylor’s love actually felt genuine!!!#and not like she wanted my money as well as my loyal#loyalty** wow lekker bezig vandaag#also i do buy her albums on cd but thats more a me thing its a tradition with a friend i had that i plan on continuing with speak now tv#bc i like owning physical copies#also sometimes i struggle with organising my thoughts so i hope that all makes sense and nothing is lost#english is my first language i just am slightly neurodivergent#i only just organised my thoughts on loreens eurovision win. im still sad abt it but im happy for her.#also hello fellow southern hemisphere person!!
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hi! :) do you still write for prussia? are we allowed to send requests or asks about him?
Hello!
I confess Anon that I've not been very active on this blog as of late. My creativity kind of disappeared somewhere between my third battle with Covid and the daily stresses of my job, but I can't tell you how much I miss writing for Gil.
If you have a prompt or a request, please feel free to hit me up! I can't promise I'll get it written right away, but I have been and continue to try hacking away at what's been sent before.
Thank you for checking!
#anon asks#hello friend!#wow it's been a hot minute since i checked this inbox#please please please send me asks; i need something to inspire me#i know i have words within me but finding an outlet for them or ideas to exercise them has been nigh on impossible#the more detailed a request the better!#or like- even just obscure words would help at this point#i am beggin#hello my lovelies i hope you are all well!#aph prussia
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!
#*clips through a wall in front of you* hi hi hello!!#sorry for not being too active or posting art recently a lot things are happening so much all the time#can’t get my brain to come up with fun images but I’m learning to stop being a perfectionist with stuff and things#im drawing traditionally again in a pretty sketchbook my friend made for me tho I am havin fun with that#I hope everyone has been well :0!! I am just sitting here 12362736 miles from home#and remembering how fun it is to be annoying with ppl on this app
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weekly therapy sessions starting in a few weeks wtf
#HELP? WHAT. HELLO#my life has been the same monotonous bedroom activities for like 7 fucking years. what#healing is so scary WHAT DO YOU MEAN THINGS WILL CHANGE AND HOPEFULLY FOR THE BETTER?#thats so unpredictable thoughhhh#and yet so exciting. oh i miss doing exciting things#IM SO SCARED BUT ALSO ITS KINDA AWESOME. AUGH#feelings are weird!!!!! this is so weird!!!!!!!#cue everyone whos known me over the last near-decade being like 'about time' LMAO#theyd be justified in doing so. i have not been... the best? of friends. i feel so bad all the time cause i just remember like#all the times i was kinda not great. i hope everyone is doing well!!! oh shit what if i start doing well. thats so weird#GUYS THIS IS SO WEIRD. IM TOO TIRED FOR THIS AJFJAHF#my post
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— IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU BABY
pairing: mattheo riddle x nott!reader
summary: you weren't quite used to the attention of other boys, and it seems your brother's best friend isn't too fond of it either
warnings: brother's best friend trope!! swearing, kissing, not much else, very much unedited
author’s note: i don't tend to stray outside of the marauders era characters buuuut i've been a bit obsessed with mattheo and theo recently so this was for my own selfish needs lol as always let me know what you think!!
He had barely looked away from you all evening.
You knew the only reason Mattheo’s eyes had been fixed on you for the entirety of dinner was because of a certain type of attention you had unconsciously garnered on your first day back at school. Particularly male attention. It wasn’t any less disconcerting, however, knowing that your brother’s best friend was prepared to fist fight any potential romantic advances towards you because he was just as protective as your actual older sibling.
Your brother Theodore is no better, a displeased frown appearing every five minutes when he looks over to where you sit at the Gryffindor table.
“Merlin, boys are pathetic,” Ginny mutters, spearing a potato with her fork. “You go away for one summer and come back slightly prettier and they flock to you like bees to honey!” You’re about to weakly protest that she’s exaggerating, but at that exact moment you’re interrupted by a tap on your shoulder.
You slowly turn on the bench, reluctantly lowering your goblet of pumpkin juice to face Michael Corner, a Ravenclaw boy who you’d only ever spoken to when he was going out with Ginny.
“Hi, Michael,” you sigh, offering him a bland smile.
“Hello, Nott,” Michael replies, with what he probably thinks is a winning smile. “Had a good summer? I was just going to ask if you wanted to go on the first Hogsmeade visit of the term with me.”
You stare at him, unblinking. “Er- well, as… nice as that sounds,” you say slowly, not meaning a word. You glance at Ginny as pointedly as you can manage and raise an eyebrow. “I don’t quite relish the idea of going out with my best friend’s ex.”
“Oh! I, erm, I didn’t actually see you there, Ginny,” he stammers, laughing sheepishly. “My mistake.”
“Quite,” Ginny says drily, turning back to her plate of food.
“Well, er, see you later then,” Michael mumbles, nearly tripping over himself as he rushes back to the Ravenclaw table.
You bite your lip to stifle your giggles but it’s not long before you catch Ginny’s eye and the both of you erupt into fits of laughter.
“I can’t believe I ever went out with him,” Ginny groans, wiping her eyes.
“Was he always such a tosser or is that new?” you ask, snorting at the way Ginny scrunches up her face in embarrassment.
You’re still laughing when your eyes happen to pass over the Slytherin table just to focus on Mattheo.
You notice with a jolt that he’s looking at you again. This time, his eyes flick over to the Ravenclaw table for a second where Michael has settled back onto, then back to you and he quirks a brow quizzically.
Frowning, you mouth at him to stop in hopes that he ceases his scrutiny, just for him to roll his eyes and return to whatever one-sided conversation Blaise Zabini was attempting to engage him in. You hope you don’t look as flustered as you feel after realising Mattheo has just witnessed such an embarrassing encounter, but you’ve found over the years that you’re not the best at hiding the effects he has on you. Theo has never mentioned it in front of Mattheo as far as you’re aware, but he definitely hasn’t shied away from teasing you about the childhood crush you have on your brother’s closest friend. Not that you’ve ever admitted it to him anyway, and you’ve gotten a lot better at hiding it since nothing could ever come of it.
“Your brother and Riddle have been looking like they’re ready to halve the male population of Hogwarts since we got on the bloody train,” Ginny says, pulling you out of your thoughts.
“Tell me about it,” you sigh, cutting into your carrot a little more viciously than needed. “They keep looking over at our table. I feel like I’m on one of those Muggle reality television programmes Hermione was telling your dad about the other week.”
Arthur Weasley was absolutely transfixed when he was learning about reality television from Hermione during breakfast the week you both stayed at The Burrow, and although you zoned out after his sixteenth question about a singular programme, you feel as though you caught the gist of it.
“Hm,” Ginny agrees, grimacing at the memory. She had nodded off at the table during that conversation and fallen asleep on her slice of toast. “In fairness, that’s not really a new thing.”
“What, being watched by my two guard dogs?” you ask in a mock-serious voice.
“Yeah, but…” Ginny chews thoughtfully for a second before answering. “I’m not just talking about today, or even recently. Your brother mostly minds his own business. I’m talking about Riddle. He’s always looking at you, I noticed it last year. Wherever we are, kind of like he’s checking up on you,” she says like it’s common knowledge, shrugging. “It’s sweet, I guess.”
You blink at her, a little speechless.
“What?” Ginny frowns after a few seconds of your silence. You look at her with raised eyebrows, not really taking her seriously. In your first few years at Hogwarts, you had confided in Ginny regarding your silly, little girl feelings for Mattheo and she would read into every action he took towards you in an attempt to prove he liked you too. Obviously, he saw you as nothing but a younger sister figure and once you grew up a bit, Ginny had let it go too.
Ginny reads your dubious expression now and sets down her knife and fork to cross her arms. “Oh, for heaven’s sake. I’m serious! I’m not just saying it because you were helplessly in love with him until you were, like, fourteen.”
“Shush!” you hiss, thwacking her arm. “Why don’t you just get up on stage with Dumbledore and ask him to include that titbit of information for the entire school to hear in his speech!”
“Good idea,” she says, nodding seriously and starting to get up. You know she’s just teasing, but you start spluttering and frantically grab at her sleeve to sit her back down, causing her to topple onto you slightly. This sets you both off laughing again and you find it hard to stop for the rest of dinner and desert, thankfully staying far away from the topic of Mattheo. You also pointedly avoid looking at him again.
Once dinner is over, you head to the Gryffindor common room with the rest of your house and catch up with everyone for a while. After a couple hours of socialising and fifteen minutes of helping Neville Longbottom search for his pet toad, you head up to your dorm with Ginny and Lena, one of your other dormmates, to unpack.
As soon as you open your luggage, you search for your pyjamas and immediately change out of your robes and into a t-shirt and baggy shorts for comfort. You’re in the middle of unpacking some textbooks when you hear Lena whistle from behind you.
“I do not remember those pyjamas looking like that,” Lena comments, grinning at you. Rolling your eyes, you comply with her request to do a little spin and you can’t help feeling pleased when Lena and Ginny start whooping and hollering. “You’ve always been gorgeous, but you really grew up this summer, huh? Look at those legs!”
“Tell me about it,” Ginny pipes in, flopping down on her bed and abandoning her unpacked suitcase. “She came to stay for a week and Mum looked like she was going to cry every time she saw us. Something about ‘blossoming into young ladies’ or whatever bollocks.”
“You ‘blossomed’ last year,” you point out, and Lena hums in agreement. “I haven’t forgotten how Zacharias Smith fell off his broom trying to wave at you during Quidditch practice.”
Ginny groans and starts ranting about teenage boys again. Lena joins in and starts teasing her about how Harry Potter is the only boy she hasn’t complained about and you’re about to set down your belongings to help Lena dodge the pillows Ginny is throwing at her when a flash of green and silver in your suitcase catches your eye.
“Shite, I have Theo’s uniform,” you huff, grabbing the clothes out of your suitcase and sliding your slippers on. “That means he has mine and I am not dealing with this at seven in the morning. I’m gonna go drop this off, be back in a minute.”
Ginny says goodbye before resuming her pillow attack on Lena as you make your way out of the room and down into the common room. It’s nearly empty, with most people having gone to their rooms to pack and a quick glance at the clock tells you its past curfew. You decide to take the risk since you have a reasonable excuse, but you hope that if you do get caught, it isn’t by Filch or Snape.
By the time you’ve reached the dungeons, you thank Merlin that Theo had the sense to tell you the password for the Slytherin common room before dinner in case of emergency.
“Pureblood,” you mutter, fighting the urge to scoff when the door swings open. You enter the common room and brighten up when you see that the only students still hanging around are Theo and his friends. Your brother seems to have already started unpacking since he’s standing and holding your uniform, presumably about to come and find you. His friends all mumble polite ‘hello’s and he walks up to you with a smile.
“Oh, hey, I was just-” Theo cuts himself off when he properly looks at you and frowns. “Wha- Why are you wearing pyjamas out and about?”
“You’re wearing pyjamas too!” you exclaim, slightly embarrassed that your brother is doing this in front of your friends. They all turn to look at you again, hearing the indignation in Theo’s voice and you notice Mattheo suddenly sits up straighter. Suddenly aware of your bare legs, you tug down the material of your shorts, despite the fact they aren’t even very short to begin with.
“Oi. Stop looking at my sister!”” Theo snaps, glaring at Blaise, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle. You know the only reason they glanced at you in the first place is out of curiosity regarding Theo’s question, but Theo and Mattheo scowl at them all the same and they all start sputtering, Draco in particular when Pansy narrows her eyes at him. Theo sighs at you, quickly exchanging your uniforms. “Just- at least take something to cover up back to your room.”
“I’ll walk her back,” Mattheo says, out of nowhere. He stands up and makes his way over to you, face carefully blank. Theo nods, agreeing quickly before he ruffles your hair goodbye to go and finish packing. You’re too surprised by Mattheo’s offer to protest until you’re already out of the Slytherin common room.
“I don’t need someone to walk me back, you know,” you mumble after a minute of charged silence.
“It was either me or Theo,” he shrugs, completely unapologetic when his mouth quirks up in a smug smile. “And I know you prefer me.”
“You’re both equally annoying,” you say, rolling your eyes, happy that he’s talking to you like normal again. You hated it whenever Mattheo was serious – it was rarely ever towards you and you much preferred when his whole face lit up with a smile. He begins to tease you about your bunny rabbit slippers and you’re in the middle of pretending to be irked when you both run into Ernie Macmillan, a Hufflepuff prefect doing patrol duties.
“Hey,” Ernie offers you a friendly smile and gives Mattheo a brief, slightly nervous glance. While you prefer not to get into trouble for breaking curfew, Mattheo clearly couldn’t care less and his relaxed, yet intimidating stance must be off-putting to Ernie. Thankfully, you’re on friendly terms with the Hufflepuff and you give him an even brighter smile to make up for it, to which he beams at. “How was your summer?”
“Good, yeah! Erm, listen Ernie. We didn’t mean to be out at this time, it’s just that I accidentally had my brother’s uniform and needed to-”
“Oh, forget it. Don’t worry, I won’t dock you any points,” Ernie reassures you, waving off your excuses and you instantly relax. Ernie gives Mattheo another unsure glance before leaning in the tiniest bit closer to you. You try not to pay attention to how Ernie has been glancing at your legs and how Mattheo tenses up when Ernie starts speaking again. “I was actually wondering if you were available next weekend…?”
Ernie trails off when you don’t show any indication of replying straight away and you snap out of your surprise to say something, but Mattheo beats you to it.
“She’s busy then,” he says coldly, working his jaw. “Now, if you don’t mind, it’s late. Kindly get lost.”
“Wha- Matt!” you hiss, smacking his chest to which he barely flinches, nor does he look at all apologetic. “Ernie, I-”
“Never mind,” he says quickly, seemingly eager to just leave. “I’ll, er, see you later.”
You stand frozen in shock while Ernie rushes down the corridor and turns the corner, leaving you and Mattheo alone. Turning slowly, you look at him with barely contained anger.
“Why the hell did you do that?” you demand, voice sharp as nails. If it weren’t past curfew and you weren’t in the middle of a school corridor, you would most definitely be yelling. Mattheo stands with his hands in his pockets, clenching his jaw and his silence makes you even angrier. You accepted long ago that you’d never have a chance with him, but now he was getting in the way of you having a chance with anyone. It was completely unfair. “What if I actually wanted to go out with him?!”
Mattheo scowls at this, but his impossibly dark brown eyes flash with a hint of uncertainty. “Did you?”
“What?” you ask, impatient.
“Did you want to go out with him?” he says, voice low and dangerous. He walks forward, towering over you and you refuse to be intimidated so you start walking backward until your back is against the wall. Despite having cornered you, he maintains a fair amount of distance between you, leaving plenty of space if you want to move away. You don’t.
“That’s none of your business,” you say stubbornly, raising your chin and trying your best to keep your voice steady. Mattheo narrows his eyes and reduces the distance between you ever so slightly with another small step. You nervously keep talking. “I can go out with whoever I want.” Another step. “And you can’t just-” One more step. “Matt.” His shoes are flush with your slippers.
“What?” he whispers, tilting his head and looking at you calmly, while you feeling anything but calm. “I can’t just… what?”
The previously respectable distance has gone out the window and instead you barely have space to breathe with the way Mattheo is leaning in, head dipped toward you but never touching, hands resting on the wall either side of you. He leans in, eyes dropping to your lips and your heart leaps in your chest with anticipation, but he ghosts his lips over your jaw instead and the barely-there contact has you breathing unevenly.
“You can’t…” you exhale, trying to finish your sentence with some dignity and failing miserably. “You can’t just scare people off like an overprotective older brother.”
Mattheo stills, lifting his head enough to meet your eyes, but making no move to distance himself any further. He scoffs quietly. “Brother,” he says the word with a mildly disgusted scowl. “Is that what you think I want to be?”
“I- I don’t…”
“You don’t know,” Mattheo finishes for you, the corners of his mouth turning up, yet his expression is devoid of humour. “No, you don’t know how badly I wanted to hex Macmillan just now. How badly I wanted to try out some new, experimental spells on that fucking Ravenclaw earlier. But none of that had anything to do with brotherly feelings.”
“They were just being nice,” you say stupidly, with not a clue in the world as to why you’re defending them right now. If anything, you’re just confused.
Mattheo quirks a brow, tongue pressing against his cheek as he considers your words. “That Ravenclaw from earlier was talking about you on the train. He said he was going to ask you out at dinner because you’d ‘gotten hot’ over summer,” Mattheo sneers, like he’s suddenly regretting not hexing Michael Corner in the Great Hall. “They weren’t being nice.”
All of a sudden, you feel irritated because you have no idea why Mattheo is telling you any of this. “What’s wrong with a boy finding me attractive? Is that such a crazy idea?” you demand, part of you not wanting him to answer.
“Merlin, do I seriously have to say it?” he groans, sighing when you glare at him. Mattheo takes a breath, meeting your eyes and you marvel at the sincerity you see when he speaks. “You didn’t ‘get hot’ over the summer. You’ve always been beautiful and they’re idiots for not paying attention then.”
Your breath catches in your throat, whether it’s from emotion or from the close proximity with Mattheo, you aren’t sure. “You think I’m beautiful?”
Mattheo nods, leaning back in to brush his nose against your own, his breath mingling with yours. “Always have.”
You take this as a cue to grab the collar of his shirt and pull him in and the next thing you know, his mouth is firm against yours, and his hands are finally touching you, grabbing you by the waist and sliding up your back to hold you closer. You’ve thought about kissing Mattheo before, but the thoughts feel utterly stupid compared to the real thing. Mattheo kisses you fiercely, mouth sliding hot and wet against your own making you come alive and weakening you at the same time. He nips at your bottom lip and you gasp, causing him to smile into the kiss. Your hands are sliding up his chest to snake around his neck when a thought suddenly occurs to you and you pull away abruptly.
“Oh my God, Theodore,” you hiss, covering your mouth with your hand. Mattheo furrows his brows, looking a little dazed and confused. “What are we going to tell him?”
“He knows I’ve loved you since we were kids,” Mattheo says flippantly, waving you off and impatiently starting to lean in again, but you stop him with a hand on his chest. “What?”
“You’ve loved me since we were kids?” The words hardly register, but before you can feel any sort of elation, you mostly feel pissed off that your brother has clearly had his fun with the situation for years. “And Theo knows?”
“Yes,” Mattheo says slowly, as if he were talking to a child. He brushes the hair out of your face and his gaze turns a little uncertain when he speaks. “Er, this is hopefully the part where you say you feel the same way.”
“Well, of course I feel the same way,” you huff, still thoroughly annoyed at Theo. “He knew I was crazily in love with you too and the bastard was so irritating about it!”
You’re about three quarters of the way down a list of ways you want to get back at your brother when Mattheo gently turns your face by the chin to look at him. “As much as I’d love for you to plot against your brother right now, it’s kind of a mood killer thinking about him when I’m kissing you.”
“Sorry, sorry. Continue with the kissing.”
“How romantic,” he says drily. His smirk turns smug, however, when he processes your previous statement. “So… you were in love with me too. What was the word you used, again? Crazily? Crazily in love…”
“Don’t make me take it back, ‘cause I swear I will.”
© angelfic 2023.
#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle x fem reader#mattheo riddle fanfic#mattheo riddle fanfiction#mattheo riddle scenarios#mattheo riddle smut#mattheo riddle fluff#mattheo riddle imagines#mattheo riddle ff#mattheo x reader#mattheo x you#mattheo x y/n
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