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#heidi’s tangents ♡
miss-conjayniality · 2 months
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heeseung's dusky complexion is the sexiest, most beautiful sight i have ever laid my eyes on. fuck ANYONE who dares whitewash his sunkissed skin!!!!!!! whoever dares to commit such a heinous crime to his ethereal, exotic complexion deserves INTENSE persecution!!!!!
heeseung’s skin is mesmerizing in every way possible. he is the epitome of eye candy. he’s the living personification of honey. I wanna lick his skin because i’m SURE it tastes like honey. pretty sure the sun kissed his skin a little too hard 😮‍💨 I’m actually quite jealous of the sun because it was able to even KISS heeseung’s skin in the first place!!!!!!
could you just IMAGINE kissing heeseung’s sunkissed, naked body? and seeing him get all flustered and holding back his whines because he’s so shy by all the praise you’re giving him about his beauty!???🥺
god. the way i view unwhitewashed idols is no different from a victorian in the 1800s freaking out at the sight of a woman’s ankles or wrists….
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miss-conjayniality · 2 months
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alright look….…..i know that jay is often nicknamed jaycaprio for his resemblance to 90s leo…….but in MY opinion, he’s giving 90s shahrukh khan vibes waayyy more. and NO im nawt just saying this coz im desi 😭💀 any desi engenes here?🥺👉🏼👈🏼 but genuinely coz he’s soooo similar to him in many ways???!?!?? 🥺
jay is soooo srk-coded!???? 😭 it’s insane. he has the dark, elegant, sexy mysteriousness srk exudes. they’re both known for their immense intelligence, humbleness, and their 4d sense of humor. they’re both known for their duality of being fun mood makers…but also quiet, reflective individuals.
and im not even gonna lie when I say i lowkey see some of srk’s characters in him too 💀 rahul in k3g, raj in ddlj……LMAO!! and some of his villainous roles too ngl🙈
also…..i probs sound SUPER unhinged for saying this but I also think he simultaneously looks like both srk AND aryan…. and it’s killing me. 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣
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miss-conjayniality · 3 days
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enha tacoma pcd……..
MANNNNNNN what an eventful week it’s been! I had LOADS of fun at the enha concert and made tons of new friends. My outfit was inspired by 231117 heeseung. the iconic denim cowboy fit constantly lives in my mind rent free and I think about it once a day. I had a pink bikini top on underneath and a pretty butterfly necklace cuz I wanted to add a pink n’ girly twist to it 🥰 unfortunately I had to keep it buttoned up most of the time because it was FUCKING COOOOLLLLDDDD my god….
also……... I met this REEEAALLLLYYY GORGEOUS butch girl in line. I felt so blessed that day. gosh. I even got her discord yall!!!!!😌💅🏼 she was so cute and her outfit was inspired by bite me 🤤 tried soooooo hard not to drool when i looked at her 🥵 good lawd what a WOMAN! luckily I’ll be meeting her again for txt in a couple weeks!!!😚
I had two posters - one that said “i 💗 heeriah leerey” and the second that said “welcome back jay”. they were both made with glow in the dark glue. unfortunately I ruined my jay one cuz I realized it wasn’t fully dried 😭 WELP! did I still hold it up tho? u bet I did.
speaking of posters, I saw some pretty amazing ones. I laughed my ass off at whomever held up the “daddy’s home” poster. heck, I even saw one that said “love from india!!!” which….a round of applause to whomever that was🤌🏼
I also got to watch them throw first pitch at the mariners game and AAAAAAAA OMGGGG they’re literally the cutest!!! 🥺 I swear omg I gasped audibly when seeing their beauty so close. absolute devastation. to experience auburn haired heeseung in person is an honor and a privilege. they’re genuinely so ethereal irl. like wow…THEYRE REAL!?!????? and seeing jay so happy to be back home made me emotional 😢 he looked elated to finally be back home! he spoke of his love for the seattle cherries, his memories in the tacoma area, and the sentimentality he felt as he finally made his way back home. 🥺
I felt so much softness and love in my heart. the vibes were immaculate this week. it honestly felt….rejuvenating. THAT’S the impact their presence has on me. it felt like one big hug. kinda sad that it’s over but i know they’ll be back in the future…… so that’s that! 🥹💗
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miss-conjayniality · 3 months
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in dire need of a stay or engene gf whom i can get matching skz or enha tramp stamps with……….
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miss-conjayniality · 3 months
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hoobs.
yep. that’s it!!!! that’s the post. i want to suck heeseung’s beautiful boobs…….he’d look so cute getting all flustered and sensitive…
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miss-conjayniality · 4 months
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y’know……….heeseung is totally the personification of what it means to be “mr. steal ur girl”…….coz I am devoutly jay biased but gosh……heeseung is my bias wrecker and boy oh boy he wrecks my heart real HARD
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miss-conjayniality · 2 months
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adhd meltdown over nu’est……….need to vent
NU’EST - a name that brings about a myriad of intense, tumultuous, goosebump-inducing emotions.
look….ima queue this shit cuz the thought of posting it in real time makes me cringe 💀
sigh. i hate getting this vulnerable. it’s uncomfortable. but i have to get this off my chest. it’s been two years since their disbandment. geez. time flies. and let me just tell you, this time of the year is always so sentimental to me. it hurts. it’s also when my adhd dives into extreme hyperfixation mode for them. no group (except for seventeen and skz) can invoke such feelings from me like nu’est does.
while I can still enjoy their music with love and gratitude even post-disbandment, there are rare occasions where i have to avoid listening to their music because it’s too painful to think of how it all ended. about what could’ve been.
i’ve been a DEVOUT nu’est stan since their debut in 2012 (alongside seventeen in 2013). i saw their peaks and troughs. and it feels like not only did i watch them grow, but also grew up with them.
and no i’m not saying this in a weird, creepy parasocial way. but genuinely in the sense that i’ve been listening to them since i was just a wee little middle schooler. their music, as well as numerous other groups from that era, served as the background music to my life.
thank you nu’est. thank you so much for filling my adolescence with insurmountable happiness during a phase in my life where I was clueless and insecure. thank you for being a source of comfort during my lowest periods. thank you for showing me the importance of grit and not letting a rock bottom phase hinder me from going after what I desire. thank you for helping me find solace in a community of fellow loves whom I still speak with to this day after all these years. and even though it’s been two years since the disbandment, it’s also been 12 years (wtf….no way) since the debut. and i WILL continue enjoying your music from years on out because it transcends time. it will always be a source of comfort and solace for me.
and even though I don’t truly wish to go back to the past, I will always cherish and respect the memories I held with your discography. and even though ot5 is no more, it’ll always be ot5 in my heart. forever and beyond.
every era evokes different eras of my own life - face, action, and hello from when I was just beginning middle school, sleep talking from when i was entering 8th grade. re:birth being released on my 15th birthday 🥺. their string of cringey japanese releases from when i was about to begin high school.
and of course, that segues into my next tangent - q is and beyond. during their inception, they had one of the most viewed debuts of their time and had a promising trajectory. face, action, and hello were all well-received. but then they fell into nugudom after sleep talking. and this was their first korean cb after 2 years. I remember rejoicing in happiness when q is came out. i remember listening to it on the way to my first period english class with my headphones and then continuing listening to it during our silent reading sessions lmao 😭💀. I cried happy tears and voted obsessively for them when they were promo-ing on music shows. they never won. but I was still happy and grateful they were back nonetheless. fast forward to later that year and they came back with an amaaazziingg fall album that i always come back to every september - canvas. this album was a source of comfort for me during that turbulent period coughs….the 2016 election…and when I started taking college classes in high school
we absolutely CANNOT talk about nu’est without discussing broduce 101. this absolute dumpster fire of a show tested my patience so much. I remember being PISSED when intl fans weren’t allowed to vote this season because I wanted to support my boys the same way I supported the pledis girlz who’d soon become p-…p….pristin….but that’s a tangent for another day daahhllliinnggss🥴🥴… i was so unhinged too that I even watched it during class sometimes LMAOOO HELP this is so hilarious to look back at😭💀
anyways I felt that this was simultaneously the best and worst season of p101 ever. most of the contestants were amazing and went on to release some gooood music afterwards. but good fucking god mnet tugged at my heartstrings wayyy too hard. I couldn’t stand it. as someone who is also a dedicated predebut carat, I also watched it for my baby samuel 🥺😢 mnet did both nu’est and sammy so dirty.
I remember the p101 s2 finale so vividly. I remember it like it was yesterday. I promised myself I wouldn’t peek at any social media that day but during lunch break i ACCIDENTALLY opened twitter and the moment I saw the spoilers, tears immediately made their way to my eyes. it broke my heart so bad. that entire day I was a fucking mess trying to make it through my last three classes of the day. the moment I got home, the first thing i did was lock myself in the bathroom and cry for an hour. I then cried even more in the shower.
it hurt me so bad seeing minhyun sobbing like that. the way jr still had the biggest smile on his face with happy tears for minhyun despite not making it into wanna one’s lineup still tests my sanity.
and the final straw? seeing the camera panning to seungcheol’s somber expression and samuel’s parents. and good fucking grief…….I cannot even imagine how seungcheol must’ve felt. I don’t think I could ever fathom the level of sorrow he felt at that very moment. for both nu’est and samuel. seeing all of his former colleagues that he himself grew up with being used as mere pawns by mnet. even after all these years, I still have to hold back tears whenever I dwell on this moment.
luckily that sorrow was soon followed by joy. when they created nu’est w as a workaround for minhyun’s year at wanna one, I was elated to see how successful they were doing on the charts and the way yEoBoSaYoOoO never dies🤣💀
where you at. deja vu. help me. all solid title tracks with immaculate b-sides to top it all off. ahhh. what a breath of fresh air the nu’est w era was. seeing them finally have their redemption after years of ridicule. and look….as much as I adored wanna one, part of me couldn’t wait until minhyun was finally back with nu’est sjsjsjsjsk😭
And when that moment came? OOOOOOF OMG!!!! I cannot stress ENOUGH how much I love happily ever after!!!! WHAT A COMEBACK ALBUM THAT WAS!!! NOT A SINGLE FUCKING SKIP! I still enjoy listening to it. it was an era that showed that they’re finally back in full force.
I felt that this era reflected nu’est in their fullest, highest form. THIS is who nu’est is! THIS is what their music sounds like! THIS is their image. if I were to introduce nu’est to anyone, I’d show them this album first.
later that year, they released the table and a string of songs with spoonz. such an underrated era tbh. not as strong as happily ever after was. but BOY OH BOY these guys KNOW how to drop a solid disco style song. love me is suuuch an ear worm that deserves more appreciation tbh.
and can we talk about THEEEE fucking NOCTURNE!?!?? OH MY GOODNESS WHAT AN ERA!!!! I’m in trouble is one of my fav title tracks next to bet bet. not even joking. reason being is coz as a britney stan, it really reminds me of oops I did it again lmaooo. moondance is one of my fav nuest b-sides EVERRR! AND THE WAY IT WAS PRODUCED BY JC CHASEZ FROM NSYNC TOO!?!??? I never expected to see my worlds colliding like this. just to clarify, I have a love-hate relationship and one-sided beef with nsync because of what justin did to britney. JC DESERVED BETTER! HE DESERVED WHAT J*STIN GOT!!! AGGGH but that’s a tangent for another day daahhlliinnggsss……..😪🤐
the nocturne really comforted me during the pandemic. during this point in time, I remember thinking “wow. it’s been 8 years. and even through this moment of global darkness, they’re still going strong and bringing light to their fans”.
a year later, they released their 2nd full album and their first release under the hybe acquisition and a week before drunk-slayed🥰what a slayful month april was. inside out wasn’t my absolute fav title track but I definitely found it to be a refreshing spring anthem. AND i llooovvee me some nu’solos 🤌🏼🤌🏼
i remember hearing about the news of NU’EST’s disbandment and going WHAT!?!??? it was as if I IMMEDIATELY felt my world turning upside down. I was in the middle of studying for finals AND wrapping up my internship. it was stressful already. i also went on a cold turkey social media fast. BUT I accidentally opened youtube and it threw off my whole vibe when studying for my exams.
I felt like a fucking wreck. It wasn’t until after that shitstorm was over when I actually checked out needle and bubble (lazy ass album thanks to hybe) and sobbed THEEEE absolute UGLIEST tears ever.
it broke my heart to see hybe disbanding nu’est like at the drop of a hat because they were JUST having their second career glory. they threw all of NU’EST’s hard work down the drain. and it’s disappointing because we could’ve seen more nu’enha and nu’txt interactions (living off my very few minhyun and baekho crumbs since they’re still under hybe) 😢 we could’ve seen them and seventeen together being big brothers to the youngsters and witnessed what would’ve been the sweetest, most wholesome interactions ever. sigh. the very few nu’enha and nu’txt interactions that exist are the crumbs I will madly eat.
NU’EST’s lore/backstory is what makes them iconic. and it’s amazing how even to this day they STILL inspire “nugu” idols to get a second chance and redeem themselves. no other group has the story nu’est does and that’s also another reason I respect them so much. what they’ve accomplished is not an easy feat. and their persistence in keeping their dreams alive actually inspires me to keep going in life even when I’m at my lowest. nu’est may be ‘disbanded’, but their story lives on and will continue to inspire and motivate others.
thank you aaron. thank you jr. thank you baekho. thank you minhyun. thank you ren.
thank you nu’est.
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miss-conjayniality · 2 months
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I have a desi enha fluff drabble i so badly want to finish and publish but goodness gracious I am SO braindead right now. OOF. just typing this all out is making me fall asleep omg! my eyes are fighting to stay awake. I had a decent week tho so I ain’t complainin!!!!! work wasn’t too bad and dhol practice has been fun this week.
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miss-conjayniality · 1 month
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i FORREAL feel like a kid at the candy store whenever im at sephora OR the cosmetics/beauty section of any drugstore. good fucking god. it’s overwhelming and overstimulating. thanks adhd. I LITERALLY have to take deep breaths sometimes because of how trigger happy I get. on rare occasions I even have to hold back a squeal or two.
im that bitch that looooveess to swatch every fucking shade in existence and come outta the store with several different shades on my hands and arms. a hot girl thing to do tbh… i LEGIT MUST RESIST DOING THAT SHIT WHENEVER ITS ABOUT TO HAPPEN AAGHAHSHHGGGGGGG. ion do that shit anymore for obvious reasons but the spirit lives within…
and not to mention, I ADOOOORRRREEE the smell of buttery lip glosses 🤤 mmmm yum if makeup was edible I’d forreal eat my ABH sun baked gloss. thank goodness it isn’t because then I’d probs wouldn’t be wearing it.
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miss-conjayniality · 17 hours
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cute boy eyeing me at guitar center while i was practicing taal on the drums….hmm…i see you 😏
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miss-conjayniality · 9 months
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dojaejung is my fav nct subunit cuz ya know …… they’re actually a SUB….unit [BA DUM TSS]
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miss-conjayniality · 2 months
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oh MAANNNNNN i am absolutely LOADED with fanfic ideas and wips right now…..buuut i am ALSO jam-packed this month with holi rehearsals left and right + some other things on the side and it’s actually driving me INSANE!!!!!!
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miss-conjayniality · 8 months
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SEVERE beyoncé post-concert depression………and hyperfixation…………
it’s been a while since i’ve seen beyonce (not stating which city for confidential purposes…but it WAS sometime within the last month). and BOYYY OH BOYYY i cant stress HOW MUCH I MISS HER 😢😢😢 THIS HURTS SOOO BAD! the hyperfixation is still ongoing. adhd go BRRR OHHH MY GOD!!! IF I COULD, I’D TOTALLY FLY TO TEXAS/NOLA/KANSAS RIGHT NOW AND GO TO ANOTHER ONE OF HER CONCERTS!!!!! 😩😩😩😩😩
im honestly just SO grateful i finally got to see her live. you have no idea. I have DREAMT of this moment since my childhood. I love her music with all my heart. I grew up on her music. it raised me daahhllinnggg!!! I have always admired her larger than life persona and her relentless work ethic. her confidence and aura is inspirational to me. the kinda energy any girl aspires to embody - a girly, fun, fierce, sexy diva. 💗
the last time she did a US tour was 2018. I wanted to go to the OTRII tour but couldn’t cuz of a family trip 😭 uhuhu! oh well. i am fucking GLAD I got to see her during freaking RENAISSANCE of all her tours. she’s been an lgbt ally and icon since the very beginning!!! PERIODTTT!!! but this era really solidified that. no matter what genre she does, she does it in a way that showcases the black perspective of that genre. it makes me so happy seeing her use her artistic abilities to try out house/garage/disco (a historically lgbt-dominated genre and subculture) AND showcase black people’s contribution to that subculture. I actually teared up a little when during one of the vcr bits that walked through the history of house music and paid tribute to frankie knuckles. and not to mention…..THE QUEENS REMIX OF BREAK MY SOUL!!! I ASCENDED HEARING THIS LIVE OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!! 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤
as a bisexual woman, it felt SO cathartic experiencing such an album in real time and with all my senses. this album felt like a love letter for us. the concert felt like such a fun space to be one of The Gays™️. it made me proud to be a member of the lgbt community.
also, when she first appeared, I started SOBBINGGGGGG SAURRR HARD!!!!! she sang all her sappy ballads like flaws and all (loved when she turned the mic to us for us to sing “im a bitch in the afternoon…mood….), i care, rather die young, and 1+1 and cried the whole time because I was overwhelmed by her beauty. I couldn’t believe she was Right There…..
AND THE BLUE IVY CAMEO OMGGG!!! SHES THE CUTEST PATOOTEST KIDDO ON EARTH 🥺 I WANTED TO RUN UP THAT STAGE AND GIVE HER A HUG COZ SHES SOOO FREAKING ADORABLE! THE MOM AND DAUGHTER PERFORMANCE MADE MY HEART SOOOO SOFT🥺😢
she also sang a medley of her old hits and i LOST MY MARBLES OMGGG!!! AND WHEN SHE SANG SPEECHLESS OF ALL SONGS LIKE WTF!!??? THAT’S A DEEEEEP CUT FROM HER DISCOGRAPHY!!!! AND ONE OF MY FAVORITES!!!! JUST THINKING ABOUT IT IS MAKING ME BRAINROT!!!! and don’t even get me started with diva, get me bodied, 7/11, partition, crazy in love, love on top (which she made us RECITE the mfing lyrics to….), formation, cuff it, move, and america is a problem. I sounded like a mfing SCREAMO singer when singing out some of those lyrics hunny….one person even gave me a funny look. GURL! I’m here to go apeshit (no pun intended) not be a statue.
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miss-conjayniality · 5 hours
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the way im slowly turning into a fluff blog…….WELP 😭
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miss-conjayniality · 3 days
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now someone please tell me why i have a thing for butches named AMBER.
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miss-conjayniality · 16 days
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y’know……being gay is a blessing tbh. it’s honestly crazy how much power butch women have over me…..natural mood boosters for me.
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