#he's a little more than a concept now...
Text
!WARNING!
Disconnected and separated body parts, no blood or gore at all but it's better to be stay safe!
Another illustration of manananggal-inspired O'Neil!! Between the mechanical spine and this one - I might stick to this one in the end ^^ im fond of the concept of the lights and whispies!
Their ref sheets are STILL under works :'D im hoping to finish it asap!
#Woe manananggal inspired oneil be upon ye#Im liking this concept a little more than the mechanical spine :D#And he has discolored limbs now!!!! Honestly one of my favorite character design tropes 👀 couldnt help myself#They can float away from their lower half in an indefinite (infinite maybe) distance#The trail of whispies and zending-esque lights follow after him!#He CAN move his lower half while disconnected from it#But they usually leave it idle#He ends up leaving it in the halls and rooms of the parable though most of the time#It always scares the living hell out of elias#the stanley parable#tsp#tspud#tsp narrator#tspud narrator#tsp stanley#tspud stanley#tsp au#tspud au#Alibi!
170 notes
·
View notes
Text
the more i rotate him in my mind, the more i really enjoy a genderfluid transmasc tim who is pretty freaked out by his own more fem days because he is so set in thinking he's a guy. he made himself into jack drake's all-star american son as much as he could for years, and it feels like a betrayal of all that time he spent being the son his father always wanted, if he "regresses" into wanting to be a girl again.
what he doesn't realize is that there's a world of difference in being closeted and pretransition vs sometimes wanting to be a masculine figure presenting fem. it's not regression but he's convinced it is bc he has fucking issues. he can separate out disguising himself as a woman as playing a part, but wanting to dress more femme himself sometimes - wanting to look like a boy dressing as a girl? oh that must mean something is wrong with him. he's going to repress this urge really, really hard every time it comes up. and if he snaps at kon for looking like a boy dressing as a girl one day (he's jealous. he can't admit it. he envies that shy delight on kon's face when bart compliments his dress. he knows kon is still exploring and feels tentative and fragile about it. why can't he do that? he just can't. and then kon asks why he's so tense and if he's okay, and a cutting comment he doesn't actually mean slips out...) oops!!!
(of course it gets talked out and resolved. cassie might threaten to throw him off a building if he doesn't admit what's actually bothering him, but they work it out.) but anyway that's beside the point. the point is i really like transmasc tim who isn't as binary about his gender as he has convinced himself he is. and it gives him Problems and Fucking Issues. he needs more problems and fucking issues
#rimi talks#tim#it's about the internalized transphobia and the grief of not being what his parents would've wanted him to be and the identity issues#all rolled up into one big ball of oops! uh oh! oh no!#i really like transmasc tim but he needs to have agonies about it you know?#when he's younger i also think he's got it divided in his head. robin can't bind. therefore robin isn't as good at being a boy as tim drake#tim drake is actually a boy. robin is more nebulous as a concept.#it feels a little disappointing but he can live with it. robin is really cool in every other way. it more than makes up for it#um. anyways. im gonna take another nap now. bye
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
I opened Pinterest for the first time in months.
That made me realize a lot about how bad I was actually doing and how much of a Waffle House Index use of Pinterest is for adult me, apparently.
I hadn’t realized it had grown that foundational to me in a healthy-brain-exercise-and-hobby-joy way. Nice to know moving forward! It’s another sign I can keep track of and use to spot correlation/indicator patterns earlier my behavior.
I love this kind of thing, it makes me so excited!
#personal data hacking is my passion#someday I’ll tell a story about the most notable times I tracked things or hacked my own mental processes from childhood to now#including the fear of spiders and bed wetting and behavior changes and posture and heart rate and cursive and putting kitchen items and#trash away as soon as I’m finished using them instead of never ever or ages and ages later#I’m so proud of that#you have to give it time and still commit. chaining thoughts and routines and behaviors really works#we are not separate brains and bodies and external environments#anyway I’m gonna go haha I used up he last of my energy burst on Discord and here and I need to go rest and lie on the floor and probly doze#love you all be back soon bye mwah!#add to journal#trauma evolution#my Waffle House index#this is going to be a fun new tag I’m so going to have fun with this and I bet it’ll be a helpful example reference for other people too#more than just for future me!#so excited so proud of myself so happy so grateful for hope about me really trusting that my ability and my behavior and my performance#are able to and going to yes keep getting better#long many-milestone path-journeys of potential#like when I was a little 6-7 year old kid-team athlete looking ahead at a concept of a future with me over time getting#stronger and cleverer and faster and slicker and calmer and even happier and more and more capable and able to accomplish!#a gift. all this time I didn’t think I’d have and have been living anyway is such a gift.#knowing that I truly have future time to grow and explore and change and improve in even though I still can’t FEEL or IMAGINE that future#time yet. also a gift.#the time I will one day realize I can imagine a future and imagine myself alive? will be a gift.#breath is a gift. experiencing life is a gift. other life is a gift. rhythm is a gift. motion is a gift. awake is a gift. color is a gift.#such a great expanse. all of it new. all of it eternal. all of it me. all of it nothing I’ve ever known before. all of it all of it#all of it. gifts.#gonna go have floor time now. this would be such a nice time to re-re-regain my ability to cry!#mwah I love you future me. take care of your hand and thank u for writing all this down 💛#hey little star whatcha gonna queue?#my poetry
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
nightbringer lesson 14 FUCKED ME UP in several ways but primarily I've spent the last 48 hours making myself sad over the solomon backstory we got. specifically I have, for no reason, latched onto that one chapter in the Kids event where baby solomon cried because he felt so guilty over being responsible for that spell. and that just feels a touch more depressing in context
#nightbringer spoilers#obey me on side#went back and unlocked the event again because i could not get this out of my brain i know it's probably not that deep#but it is that deep TO ME. okay#baby solomon has been on my brain since thirteen told that story so that's probably why it's sticking in my brain so hard but whatever#in case anyone was wondering the other things to make me sad are:#he has such a deeply excessive amount of lights in his room in purgatory hall there are SEVERAL chandeliers and lamps#there's a good handful in his room in cocytus hall too (his horror dg showed it) if a more normal amount#but that with the 'dim and gloomy' detail. ☹️#i've also always thought that solomon's loneliness wasn't all about the immortal angst but like.#having it confirmed that he's had reason to be lonely since he was a child- before he was old enough to know he was using magic-#totally crushed me girl why can't I be wrong#had emotions about lesson 14 in general but solomon backstory steals the show every time for me so i haven't gotten around to the rest#i'm enjoying the nightbringer story so much (not talking about the game design. that's a different thing entirely) but man#the pacing is WILD it feels like every lesson could be a whole lesson block at the least. it's giving me a lot of room to speculate#which I always love! but i do wish they would slow down a little and expand on some of these concepts they're bringing up#because the basic idea of the game alone is REALLY INTRIGUING and it'd be a shame if they raced back to the present imo#what was i even talking about. sorry my brain fast forwards as soon as i get into the tags there is not one sequitur to be seen#so curious about solomon's friend now too. like my guess is it's going to be lilith (and hopefully not in a popular fan theory kind of way)#because it's more than a little suspicious that they expanded on lilith's views on humans the way they did#in a way that SO PERFECTLY lines up with the expansion on solomon's views on humans#WHICH I HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT YET BY THE WAY BUT LIKE. HE IS SO RIGHT AND REAL FOR THAT#it's beyond stressful to me that I think solomon is completely justified in his views and being completely reasonable about it#but that it would also mean war between the worlds presumably while the brothers are still recovering from THEIRS#you cannot give me that choice man. not even sure that the human world would be ABLE to win that fight if we're being real#solomon's 72 pacts are a lot yes but he's still only one guy who is NOT on good terms with the sorcerer's society#and mc is powerful but so so inexperienced. and that's IF they choose to side with the human world which#really i don't think the canon mc is likely to do. but anyway i guess solomon's friend could also be adam maybe?#that could be wishful thinking because i like adam though. even if his hair SUUUCKS#deeply offended by everyone thinking solomon got the fucked up hair when all signs point to adam be NICE TO HIM he's ugly already
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
#my favorite on first listen#i need to go back through the whole thing again but 95% of the time the album does exactly what it should#in terms of sounding like a txt album and doing the kind of experimental stuff a minisode should do#as a whole i like it and the aesthetic better than the last album#however i think the killa shouldn't have made it to the album idc#literally two days ago people were saying a zionist was involved in producing it and now it's all yayyy ~sex~ song#like it sounds generic and it doesn't go with the plot of the album and soobin has literally talked before about being oversexualized...#...making him uncomfortable and everyone just ignores stuff like that bc everyone acts like the second you don't make a idol sexy the...#...second they 'turn legal' that they're 'grown ass men' you're infantilizing#like. idk how to explain to you how annoying it is just to define being an adult by having sex like it's not universal 😭#i don't even mean to say this in some kind of puritan censorship kind of way it's just annoying to view adulthood just as sex time?#especially in this situation this is his job 😭 he's at work 😭#and everyone being like but this song sounds gay 🥺 well a zionist produced it i'm so glad you have moral standards#it isn't inherently infantilizing to not talk about sex or to not have sex either that's such an annoying marker of adulthood#and this little prince concept is so unique and interesting just to toss in a generic ass song#like stick to what makes txt unique and stop trying to make broad appeal music#they took me out with all of the bad collaborations last year like just stooooppp#especially when you hear members say they only get to make music that's their own personal taste sometimes like let them have more voice!!!!#anyway 😭#music
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey! For requestober, would you please draw something cute with Jake and Scriabin (once Scri gets his own body)? Maybe in a Wish Fulfilment kind of AU where Jake sticks around for Edgar/Scri? I just love the idea of a setting where they get to really meet and have it go well, esp after reading Scri's reaction to Jake in Convalescence. <3 If Edgar was involved in the piece too, that would be lovely, but I'd really appreciate it with just the two, as well. Thanks so much!
Day 1 - Satisfaction
#Requestober#My art#Vargas#Jake#Edgar#Scriabin#Hey <3 Hey anon <3 <3 You made me think about this a lot how dare you <3 <3 <3#It's a little funny 'cause I have actually written Scriabin and Jake interacting After but I reworked it for Before for various reasons#So actually stopping to think about it for more than .2 seconds suddenly exploded my brain lol thanks for that#This was a pretty fun one to scribble down ♪#I did try to think of something with just Scriabin and Jake but I really couldn't imagine them without Edgar at least supervising lol#I know Scriabin kissed him Convalescence but for a ''first'' meeting that seemed like a bit much lol#Scriabin has just as many reasons to be very familiar with Jake as he does to be cautious of meeting up IRL haha#Learning his lesson? Hardly ♪#Having his own body really changes the dynamic hhh he's not just moving through Edgar now ♥#So yeah I'm interested in this concept a lot now lol thanks#Oh yeah and keep an eye out for the VLH reblog - there'll be a bonus
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
The soft angst,,,,
Takaaki always reminisces about how terrible of a father he was. Never being sober enough to pay much attention to Taka. And work being on top of that...he didn't blame Taka for hating him. Chisato would comfort him and say that he needs to stop with hating himself. He at least tried to be better!
It leads to a soft argument between them, no yelling, just a soft back and forth banter.
Chisato also feels like a terrible parent. Thinking of herself as weak, enough so she couldn't help Chihiro when he was being bullied by all those boys. And she blames herself for maybe girl-ing him up too much that it'd get bad. Though, she felt happy that her son found solace in embracing his feminine side, pretending to be a girl. She was always by his side.
Takaaki always reminded her of that. And he'd comment half-jokingly that at least her son looked her in the eyes when his own didn't. Only when they were arguing.
Soft lil angst,,,
#sam's talky talks#He's sober now. Been sober for a while. But he feels like he was too late already. But he stopped taking drugs. He does smoke tho#Taichi and Chisato are the same in this AU. They're similar personality-wise. But Chisato is a little more out-going than Taichi#<- Just a btw#He's got a million issues. But she's there to comfort him#He's not a BAD DAD but he isn't the BEST. He at least tried for many years to be sober. But drugs are addictive...#Implied substance taking#danganronpa#Concept-ronpa AU#takaaki ishimaru#chisato fujisaki#chisato x takaaki
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Thank you for PoF it literally rewired my brain a normal amount eons ago when I first read it. Every time I make a new character for anything and I start to worry maybe they're just a little too unhinged, I remember PoF, and know that I'm valid and so are my insane little horny characters 😌❤️
I am so excited that you say this because it's important to my heart! Insane little characters with strong wild opinions or reckless horniness or huge blind spots or weird personality quirks or frequent fuckups they often learn very little from are the heart of stories that keep my interest and provoke reaction from me as a reader!!!!
Let every character be a character!! I have never been more bored as a fanfiction reader than the other day, when I read a fic where only the villains were allowed to be rude or irrational or petty or angry without immediately apologizing in uniformly articulate and modern "I've learned what people are supposed to say in apologies" speak. Because they're a Main Character! They're a Good Guy! But sometimes good guys and main characters are going to fuck up!! Sometimes they're going to be bizarre! Sometimes they're going to be at odds with other characters who are Good Guy Main Characters, over things that may or may not be a big deal for their characters!
Listen!! Sometimes I write a character talking shit and I'm wincing the whole time, not just because they're being an asshole, but because I know they're going to double down on it later! Because they just,,, don't think or feel the same things as the person they're being an asshole to! Do I the author agree with one more? Probably! Do I necessarily have to resolve "and this one was right, so the other one apologized"? No! Characters conflict with the other characters! It's uncomfortable to write sometimes! But my level of comfort or discomfort with the uncomfortable is part of writing stories where THINGS HAPPEN and goddammit I am out here for things happening otherwise what is even the point. >8U
#ask time!#I'M SORRY I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT THIS!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!#you can have cool AU concepts all you'd like but if the characters therein are always in the right and do the right thing#versus the bad-guy no-good-traits never-a-person villains who have zero character or personality other than ''Mean Asshole Bad Guy''#then it still feels like eating an enormous bottomless bowl of over-boiled plain oatmeal#LISTEN strip it down and I'm writing a fic about two trolls who are in a very healthy loving relationship. they communicate. they're in lov#but also: kurloz is smugly complacent in his blood-right to rule! gamzee is insecure and codependent and has a nasty buried temper!#He wants people to like him because he makes more effort than a lot of highbloods to be Nice and has friends across the hemospectrum#but he gets pissed off when lowbloods point out that being near him or the community he loves is very dangerous to them!#(why would you say that? HE'S been nice! he has lowblood friends! he's not even threatening you about being rude to him right now!)#and that's not a great way to be but it IS a way to be and I think it's a more honest and interesting one to turn around in my hands/brain#WRITE WEIRD LITTLE PEOPLE I'M CLIMBING DOWN OFF MY SOAPBOX NOW THANK YOU
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
how do i explain that one's sense of self and personal identity is bigger than just gender identity.
#look i'm as into the gender question as the next guy but sometimes it feels like people forget on here#that questions of your being and identity are not limited to what gender you identify as#and things that explore identity questions aren't necessarily conflatable with gender identity#obviously there's a lot of overlap but sometimes it feels like a disservice to reduce those questions to being abt gender every time#this is just me talking to myself bc i saw someone say laios dm's gender is monster.#now i definitely agree that he identifies with monsterhood and it's a facet of his self-conception in a unique way#but does that mean it's his GENDER?#that's an open question. truly i don't know but intuitively i would say ... not?#i think it's a facet of his self-identity in a way that's seemingly far more important to him than his gender#which i get bc personally my gender factors so little into the identity question for me. i have other things going on.
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
hc + 😃 for a happiness-themed headcanon
Thematic Headcanons.
Happiness is a vague concept to Stoplight. Contentment would be a better term, the sort that a full belly gives you and feeling comfortable in your surroundings. Living on his own, having to only focus on feeding himself lends him that much comfort at the very least. Life down in the darkest reaches is hard; there's a good reason why there aren't many things living down there but for what it's worth, he doesn't miss the constant hunger gnawing at his belly.
Life at the surface has brought it's own share of challenges but there is plenty to eat, for there is only one belly to fill instead of thousands. There is more variety too, countless species of shallow-dwelling fish and crustaceans that provide plenty of much-needed nourishment and more importantly, taste.
Personal belongings are a new concept he's enjoying. Stoplight has found rare pleasure in collecting things from around the coast, squirreling them away to his underwater abode. It's a lonely feeling being seperated from the rest of his colony but the items added to his possession make him feel a little less lonely, imagining all these strange new things he can show to any other Trench who that have yet to find their way out of the darkness to him.
#eclipscius#memes ;; thematic headcanons#🫧 || headcanons#Thank you for this also friend!#This was a fun little headcanon because happiness is such a vague concept to him?#Living as a drone meant life was all about the colony#The best pleasure you could hope to get was enough to eat#Now he's got plenty of food - more than he can handle really#So having some food security is a way to make him happy#Collecting things is something that passes the time#He's enjoying it more with each and every find he makes#Figuring out if maybe something is useful or not#Stuff might not talk but at least it makes his cavern feel less exposed
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
hanzawa masato doesn’t like sundays.
the shrine won’t be performing any exorcisms today. to be more specific, the miko that greets him feels his forehead with a warm hand and decides that he’s in good health.
he doesn’t want her to know how little he values her judgment, so he bows to offer a prayer instead.
—
he’d woken up this morning without having had any dreams. he went out of his way, on a morning that was over-bright and unsettlingly still, to make a trip to the shrine. because he hadn’t had any dreams. for all intents and purposes, a full night’s rest.
a monument to the places his mind has been lately, that this was cause for alarm.
barring that, lack of dreams notwithstanding, masato woke up just before the sun rose. the statements made about darkness before dawn are wrong, but his house is old and construction in the neighborhood leaves it eclipsed by increasingly taller buildings that are increasingly growing occupied by increasingly unneighborly neighbors.
the statements made about darkness before dawn are wrong, but when masato wakes up his room is dark and somewhere between too cold and not cold enough.
he doesn’t think it’s particularly scientific—knows this, truthfully—but he’s become familiar with the following pattern:
open your eyes first thing in the morning; you don’t want to be alive. throw the sheets from your legs and feel as the warmth is leached from your body. roll onto one side and feel as your ribs resist the desire to cave in. check the time and feel as the numbers rattle hollowly, meaninglessly, in your brain.
your name is hanzawa masato. you don’t feel tethered to any of the unkind physicality happening to “you”.
you want to die more than anything.
and then he stands, finally, and moves to go about his routine, and if he wasn’t put through an especially brutal wringer overnight, he’ll forget his ideation and go about things the way he always does.
if he was put through that wringer, he can forget. he’ll make himself forget. he’ll learn how to make himself forget.
—
he doesn’t intend to die, is the problem. that simplicity would be a blessing.
the shadows cast before him were inky, stretched long. the trains rattle near-silently on the tracks, low rumbling swallowing the impact of his own footsteps. the footsteps of other people, though sparse, jab like sharpened stones into his ears.
days like these feel fake. days like these make his dreams feel real. days like these make masato feel a little less than alive.
he would feel stupid saying so out loud, but he’s starting to believe that no one’s as haunted by ghosts as ghosts themselves.
he doesn’t know what brought him to this conclusion.
(a lie, mostly. if he had to hazard a guess: an answer lying somewhere between his exhaustion and reluctance to fall asleep, his wishing to die but fear of death, the restless shifting—currently absent—river.)
the thing about all of this is that masato doesn’t actually believe in ghosts.
not real ones, anyway. if anything—anyone—is going to drift aimlessly through the halls, holding a lantern or candlestick or knife, reflection held in its edge tortured and gaunt, it’s going to be him. an offhanded, deeply involved joke at which to have a sadistic laugh.
he has his obligations, though. of course, the knife would be fake—the edge of it dull and without character, not reflecting much of anything, harmless.
he thinks tashiro would think it’s funny. after the shock and fear and flustered anger wore off, at least.
—
real or not, the house he grew up in—the house he lives in now, the house currently, on only this day once a week, occupied by only him—is haunted.
—
he hasn’t forgotten. if it matters. he’s never been very good at lying to himself, and this one was an awfully slow sort of deal. the sort of deal that is just as much a pain to forget as it is to remember.
there was very little tenderness. he couldn’t quite stretch his legs all the way out, couldn’t reach his arms out over his head. his fingers were cold and useless, deadened, slow. the air pushing in and flowing out of his lungs seemed to whistle through the puncture wound in his chest.
he wishes that he could learn; there was no tenderness, in truth. time moved slowly, if at all, abandoning him to sit stiff in the water, soaked to the bone. abandoning him to finish dying in isolation.
he woke up, a few hours ago now, sweaty and splayed out, drowning only in his sheets, and it was an awfully slow sort of deal, but it couldn’t make him forget.
masato’s never been very good at forgetting things, either.
try as he might to toss them out, two facts cling like hooks to his skin:
1. hanzawa masato is a still-living human being, and
2. he doesn’t want to die.
(if he had to hazard a second guess, like he was on some sick introspective game show, masato would say that all anyone ever wants is to live, but living’s hard, and it hurts. it never stops hurting.
he figures—reluctantly, he doesn’t want to spend as much time as he does mired in unwinnable existential debates—that if it’s going to hurt living and hurt dying, he might as well live.)
—
masato doesn’t know where that puncture wound in his chest even came from.
—
I’m at the shrine
Like… for fun?
spiritual enrichment
Of course. Silly question.
Mom says to buy yourself a charm.
which one
…Health?
she said love. I’m buying YOU a love charm
I DON’T NEED IT.
—
poorer, he walks home as evening settles. the clouds that had been crowding the edges of the sky have hung themselves low over the city; no moon.
masato navigates mostly by bleeding sunlight and does not grieve. though his eyes insist otherwise, there is no river.
he carries three charms. good health for his mother, love for his older brother, evil warding for himself. he doesn’t know what compelled him to buy the third.
worn through by the prickly feeling at his skin, he turns his head stiffly to check—there is still no river.
at present, there isn’t anything worth his grief. one pocket lighter, the other heavier, but as insistent as his older brother was that he not buy the damned love charm, it’s not like masato doesn’t know that he’ll just as stubbornly insist on paying him back.
tomorrow, though. they’re not back until tomorrow.
abandonment, maybe. if he was grieving. he both had a dream worse than usual this morning and he didn’t. he was alone in that house and he wasn’t. it’s haunted when he’s there and not when he isn’t, but his mom insists that he house-sit every fucking sunday like the house would be the one pleading “how could you leave me here alone?” and not him.
but it’s not grief, and he’s not pleading. because he won’t let weird dreams count, no one even died.
it’s a pedestrian street, glossy shimmering concrete. everyone but him is walking right where the water would be.
there is no river. his chest aches. he knows better than to entertain the idea.
#i of iii: ghosts (reprise)#hanzawa to tashiro#hanzawa masato#yeah okay so the fundamentals are the same it’s basically not even writing a new thing (spent an hour and a half doing this) (again#[comma] basically)#aaaaaaauuuuuuughhhh. normal now#listen. i just couldn’t give up on it. ugliest weakest child but it had one foundational scene that i wanted justified properly. so.#less jarringly short sections slightly better rhythm#the fundamentals are the same! it probably still sounds and feels a little old. because it is. but i feel a little better about it now#so i’m cutting it loose. whateeeveeeer#anyway. tashiro uses the word sick like i do. masato does not.#in this updated vision: an open concept. also an unreliable narrator who thinks he’s good at things he is not#and better more coherent ties to themes and metaphors that were formed after the originals conception#and also aaahhhhh. a readmore. god bless#can you believe that i’d rather give myself a headache workshopping this than deal with the FUCKING white heron cup. i can believe it#cereal time now ‘m fucking starving. happy two in the morning!#AH FUCK I FORGOT TO TAG IT#dirtbrain writing
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
skip the ecto stuff and just go for the anatomically inaccurate halloween skeleton shit its a totally untapped market
if i gave them all baculums it wouldnt even be that inaccurate
#i think its a little sad that so few people know of The Cock Bone#its such a funny concept#it is. quite literally. biological viagra#man if i ever decided to make more of the guys more Beastly Skeletons rather than just humanoid........................#actually post cancelled i am now realizing this has some incredibly concerning implications for stretch#would it be temporary like his tail and spikes and fangs? or would he not think to hide it because its always hidden anyway so its just. no#ive decided to give up my interest in bones actually. im going to rebrand and forget every ounce of skeletal anatomy i've ever learned
1 note
·
View note
Note
I once heard that dreaming about someone constantly means that they’re thinking about you. Maybe these people miss you too?
kneejerk reaction is that I hope they’re not thinking of me tbh
#is that the truth? I’m not too sure. I just think it’s be easier to be okay with the concept of everyone forgetting me forever than to sit#with the mortifying possibility of being known and remembered#I don’t remember my hs self fondly so I don’t see why anyone else would yknow#I was already kinda convinced everybody hated me before I vanished so I guess. if ppl are thinking about me it’s negative#it’s scarier if it isn’t lmaoo#I don’t know what’s wrong with me#but yeah I don’t think it works like that nonnie or at the very least I hope it doesn’t <3#I think I’m just a weird guy whose brain is trying to hold on to idealized memories of the past because he’s afraid of growing up#n wishes they had the insight they do now back then. if I had known I was a nb lesbian dealing w massive comp het#if I had known abt the bpd I could’ve realized that I split on ppl and myself#i was so excited to have friends and be cared about man#I hate that little guy I was but I don’t blame them for being stupid and not understanding shit. I wish I could slap my younger self on the#back of the head and be like “’be normal dumbass ur friends like you’’#I uhh often focus on hurting myself more than not hurting the people around me and it was rlly bad back then#asks#nonnie#this is all to say that I think that the constant feeling of instability and academic stress is causing me to subconsciously wish for the#the days I perceive as being easier. it’s a mishmash of real events and things that possibly could’ve been if I was normal#I believe I want a feeling of control or something? idk. idk that contradicts everything#dreams are just dreams. I’m probably just regretting how much of senior year I lost and that’s it
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
No but seriously, I adore the dynamic in wirewolf with NOS-4-A2 and XR so much. Whatever happened during the slayer can’t compare, as much as I love that episode. It established their dynamic, sure, but everything that happens in wirewolf regarding them is so much food for me even though it was short.
NOS-4-A2 ambushes sentry one, dealing with the robot in his usual swift way, following his instincts. It happened so fast, the machine was right behind Ty and suddenly it was gone. There was no time for a reaction.
Then, we have him looking at a large power source, only to get suddenly intrigued by something else. He is watching, the way his body language is here, the way his wings move, the way his face lifts when he realizes the little one is here too. He is just watching, then he calmly analyzes the little robot for a while and only then does he make his move.
But he is not ambushing him like he did with the other robot. In fact, he DOES make his presence known to him. He WANTED for XR to know he is there. His shadow is looming over him.
He could have done it silently and swiftly, just like when he snatched him first during the slayer, but he made sure that XR was aware of his haunting presence.
And even when XR is aware NOS-4-A2 spotted him, the energy vampire doesn’t go for an ambush. He could have easily done so but instead he allowed XR to wheel back until he got cornered.
Does he go for an attack now that XR is helplessly backed against the wall and rambling? No, he is still looming over him and does a lightning show for the dramatics and as he approaches closer, there is a smirk on his face.
This scene on its own shows us, without telling, there is some heavy shit going on between them. Dealt with the other robot quickly, while eating XR‘s fear of him as an appetizer. Has a larger power source, stops everything in his tracks, watches and then just goes after his little tin of snack chips.
It isn’t just with NOS-4-A2, it’s XR too. I said before that people do not realize how brave he actually is when it comes to his worst enemy, but let me go deeper into that just for this episode.
The slayer and dirty work? Both were XR‘s own choices. He CHOSE to go along with Savy and Buzz when they managed to convince him. He CHOSE to remain in that monster‘s lair and look for clues despite the fact that he has seen what the energy vampire did to the other robots. He CHOSE to still go along with Buzz even after seeing the horrors.
It was his own choice to ask Professor Triffid to play a bigger part in this mission and become the lookout, despite the fact that the energy vampire went after him before, waiting right outside of cosmos in the range from that monster when he could have just remained in their old ship where he wouldn’t be anywhere near NOS-4-A2.
In Wirewolf? People FORCED him to go along with that mission. Even before he starts asking why, we see him hiding and worried, nervously fidgeting with his hands.
Mira trying to cheer him up isn’t helping, even before she realizes there were a lot of problems regarding that energy vampire. Look at his whole body language, it speaks for itself.
And he keeps nervously fidgeting with his fingers.
So they are on Canis Lunis. He asks the other robot for good hiding places and he receives an answer.
Does he use that opportunity to hide himself for the rest of the episode? No!
He has every reason to hide himself. He is forced right into the clutches of his worst nightmare. His best friend flat out states he is expendable. Everyone keeps ignoring his fear.
Booster is busy with his obsession for Buzz Lightyear, Mira is more worried about the issues Ty has with Buzz, Buzz is busy with his own ego in that episode.
I'm telling you guys, had my best friend called me expendable, had everyone else ignored my fears and used me as bait against something that’s trying to kill me, I would have ditched them immediately so that they could deal with their shit. XR showed a lot more restraint in that episode than I could ever have. And we do know that they are just cleaning up Star Command‘s mess here, because as we know later, the facility gets shut down over it. Star Command caused all these issues in the first place. He is here because of something that's the fault of his own job.
But what does he do instead of hiding? He DOES help them look for his worst nightmare.
He is here now, forced to endure the situation. Might as well get it over with quickly. He is doing his job while still being afraid, he is doing his job while still trying to be secure in some way.
He is wheeling slowly, nervously fidgeting once again with his hands. He is looking at the ground with so much concern, almost as if he wants to avoid seeing him. He is just hoping here not to come across that energy vampire.
Unfortunately, even though he is the one searching, NOS-4-A2 spots him instead. What a nice parallel to the slayer.
But even after the energy vampire pinned him down and Ty saved him, he STILL doesn’t go towards the hiding places that were suggested to him before and keeps looking for him. He is still going along searching, it was XR who found the clues and even analyzed them.
People don’t give him enough credit when it comes to NOS-4-A2. He might have traumatized him, but he didn’t break him. XR is more spiteful and has more willpower than that. He is afraid, but he still does his job regarding him.
#;Ranger Log (Headcanons)#'i like wirewolf it's a cool episode'#no you did not past me you only cared about the wirewolf concept#i heard werewolf episode and was sold and never really looked into anything else#everything regarding xr is so much more complex and not as simple#nos and xr are not a game of cat and mouse chase its way deeper and more complex than i originally thought#its not just about his fear of the energy vampire there are so many other elements too#and i just have more of an appreciation for wirewolf other than 'aw yeah werewolf'#it gave me so much juicy stuff#the resentment towards his job#how long has he been eating that up how long has this been going on#the passive aggressive tone when talking to ty#everything that's going on with nos and xr#sorry i love the slayer but dirty work and wirewolf tell me a lot more#it's the little things#and the 'show don't tell' aspects#;Now you got me into something very sick and twisted ; an evil kind of game I didn’t know existed (NOS-4-A2 & XR)
3 notes
·
View notes
Photo
That’s not- y’know what, that’s probably an easier explanation actually (Patreon)
#Doodles#DQIX#Kuzu#Lol#For the record Kuzu is a cis guy - those are his wing scars haha#Been way too long since I've drawn them!! Needed to again#Now that I think of it tho hmm I wonder if they would be more vertical than horizontal....I'll have to do another anatomy study haha oh nooo#Mostly I just thought it'd be funny for certain individuals in his human team to not know about the whole Celestrian thing and Shenanigans#Kuzu's not shy about his body and since the scars are on his back he generally doesn't think about them#Past y'know - missing his wings :(#They're hard to touch and hard to see so he's able to forget about them for stretches at a time! For better and worse#Sometimes he doesn't notice them because he's too busy - sometimes because he's doing well#And sometimes it's almost like an avoidant thought because the reality of it is still painful poor lad#His priest buddy probably knows - she was probably the one who told him not to just Announce that he's an angel to everyone lol#Social mores? :D What are those? Some kind of fish? :D#But that leaves a bit of gap in the rest of the team's understanding of their leader's condition! Why does Kuzu act so weird sometimes?#I mean other than the fact that he's Kuzu lol there was a little bit of that up in the Observatory as well haha#Anyhow this teammate specifically! He's from Gleeba and his husband crossdresses so he's fairly familiar with the concept#Not the same but enough carryover to have picked up an understanding or two!#I feel like there's a lot of queerness in Gleeba to be picked through - the lesbian queen being the obvious watermark there lol#I've never actually played a male character in Gleeba so that will be an interesting first-time-through for me with Kuzu :D#Always getting up to something! Can't stop! Haha
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
for the problematic trope: teacher/student Or stalker/obsession?
Oh man I love both of those. Uhm. I'll do Teacher/Student because I think I have more to work for it. Maybe.
Ships that fit said trope
Rei/Hayashida from March Comes in Like a Lion are always the first to come to mind and I am the only one on this boat
All Might/Deku from My Hero Academia are the bog standard of this trope I think
But I actually prefer All Might/Bakugo, it's about the caring for the Teacher
Poly Izuku/Bakugo/All Might is very good chefs kiss
Same shit but evil AFO/Tomura
Nageki/Shuu from Hatoful Boyfriend has become recent brainworms thanks to a certain HB poster on my dash
Does Ash/Kukui count? He was a teacher in the SuMo anime so. I'm gonna count it.
General Opinion
I never got why this is considered problematic? I mean all my examples are so kinda Minor/Adult which stands on it's own but why would a grown person dating their teacher who's also a grown person be considered problematic?
I also have like. Way less ships than I thought that fit the dynamic. I guess I don't consume as much media with Teacher characters as I thought I did. Gimmie recs please.
Any ships that aren’t canon it But I’d read w/ the trope
I don't have any ships I'd like to see in the trope but I have characters I'd love to see in it if I had another half to them, this is mostly just characters who I think should have students they're shippably close too.
Nezu My Hero Academia
Winston Overwatch
Doomfist Overwatch
Cyrus Pokemon
Cheren Pokemon (BW2 specifically)
Sheldon Splatoon
Woodman Hilda
Shirokuma Danganronpa
Monokuma Danganronpa
#Ship List#Thankyou for asking#Wow this was a little harder than I thought#please someone else ask for stalker/obession too please I have just as little thought for that but still wanna talk about it#Thankyou#I have a large list of characters I would love to problimatically ship if they had anyone in their lives to do so with#That's my motivation for self shipping sometimes dskjgfjkdgf#I really started with March Comes Like a Lion huh sorry it's top thought recently#someone asked for a Harunobu x reader and I drafted my concepts and then made the mistake of playing Splat 3 all night#And now my brain is mush so it has to WAIT#I'll get to you I promise#For not consider Rei's teacher could very easily take advantage of him he has no friends or support group#But instead chooses to try and help him and make him less of a target for men like him#Love that love that love that#Ask me about my age gap ships I have more brainworms for those trust me
4 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
mnih765
kowalski analiza
smellyzcat
river
seokstype
석스타입
fujishka-solutions
Untitled
wolves-r-watching
Boys Will Do Boys!