Fuck the Afterlife

Don’t worry, nobody’s dead...that we know.  Harringrove April Prompt Day 24: Afterlife!  A misunderstanding leads to everybody appreciating Billy a whole lot.

Billy couldn’t stop snickering under the sheet, even with Steve’s arms around him, and his face sniffling against Billy’s side, so Max stalked over to the bed and kicked Billy’s leg.  “Shut up,” she slurred, at five in the morning, her hand locked with Lucas’.  Their wedding rings gleamed.  “You’re dead, remember,” she told Billy, “—so shut the hell up.”  Will giggled from over by the window, wiping his eyes, but El still looked solemn.

“You shut up,” Billy hissed back.  “Stop drinking, everybody, jesus, how come I’m the only sober person here.” 

“You think I’m gonna turn down free liquor,” Erica Sinclair said, sitting against the windowsill, and playing with the little umbrella in her glass.  Robin laughed, leaning against the window, tears streaking down her face.

“Because…’cause we all thought.  Thought you were dead,” Nancy muttered, staggering into the foot of the bed, and leaning her elbows on the footboard.  “Steve here was drunk before he even called us.”

“I’m just saying, if I have to lie here like a corpse with a sheet over my face—” Billy started, but Max cut him off.

“Dead men don’t get cocktails,” she said, waving something blue, and taking a swig.  “We gather here to celebrate the life of one Billy Hargrove,” she intoned, to general sniffles and giggles.  “So shut up and listen, dead man, you brought this on yourself.  Billy Hargrove,” she sighed, “—a man I definitely did not know and had no relation to, who died due to gross sex crimes.”

Everyone laughed harder, and Billy threw the sheet back, propping himself up on his elbow to glare around at the Sinclairs, and Robin Buckley, and what seemed like half the town.  His face was flaming.  “Hang on now,” he said, waving his splinted finger.  “I’m not gonna sit here—”

“Lie here,” Dustin put in, from where he sat by Steve’s feet, and Billy flipped him off.  

“I’m not gonna lie here and get accused of gross sex crimes when that’s not even what happened—”

“Don’t you look me in the eyes and tell me you’ve never committed any gross sex crimes, you fucking liar,” Max growled, and Billy stared around at the faces gathered around his bed, opened his mouth, cocked his head, and closed his mouth again.  “And I can’t hear you anyway, you’re fucking dead, shut up.”

“I’m so glad you’re not really dead,” Steve sniffled into Billy’s chest, reeking of tequila.  He rolled to flop an arm over Billy’s stomach and elbowed him in the gut, and Billy oof’d, and then put his splinted hand around his boyfriend, and leaned to kiss his hair.  “Love you,” Steve mumbled, into Billy’s chest.  “Don’t be dead.  I miss you,” he gulped.  “I miss you so much.”

“I’m not dead,” Billy said, for like the nine-hundredth time.

“Look at him,” Max pointed to Steve.  “Look what you did.”

Billy laughed harder, grimacing.  “I just jammed my finger!  I didn’t die!  I definitely didn’t die of any gross sex crimes without you, babe,” he whispered into Steve’s hair, and Steve harrumphed.

“Damn straight,” he mumbled.  “No sex crimes without me.  Love you.”

“Gross, this is a sex crime, my eyes are suffering, oh my god,” Max groaned.

“We’re all suffering, Billy,” Nancy said, finally, putting her hands on her hips.  “How dare you drive yourself to the hospital with a broken finger and not call anyone for nine hours and then drive yourself home—”

“It’s not my fault they got the records mixed up!” Billy yelled again, laughing, and squeezing Steve gently.  “I thought Steve was asleep!  Look, I just jammed my finger and it swelled up, I didn’t wanna wake anybody—” Billy grimaced.

“How’d that happen,” El asked, frowning at his splinted hand, and Billy groaned.  

“I...uh,” he grimaced, reluctant to admit he’d nearly died of what Max would definitely consider a gross sex crime—showering the jizz off himself after Steve fell asleep, he’d had a little jerk-off session remembering how good the night had been, gotten lightheaded as the blood rushed to his dick, and fallen in the shower.  He cleared his throat, grimacing, and felt his face redden further.  “I fell in the shower,” he said, sniffing as though Robin’s snickering was unfounded.

“You gross sex criminal,” Max hissed.  “How dare you almost die of sex crimes—”

“You have people who care,” Nancy yelled, wiping her eyes.  They’d all been crying, Billy registered, again.  It didn’t seem any more believable than an hour ago, when he’d gotten home from the hospital, crept in from the garage so as not to wake Steve, and everyone had screamed, running towards him.  Lucas Sinclair and Max had shaken him until his teeth rattled, both crying, and Nancy Wheeler had hugged him until his back cracked, taking ragged breaths into his shoulder.  Steve hadn’t let go of him since.

Erica had tried to get Billy to lie down with his arms crossed on the coffee table, like a vampire, but he’d rolled his eyes and hauled Steve—and the crowd of crying drunks—upstairs.

Billy was pretty sure he was having a really weird dream.  

“You can ask for help next time,” Nancy said, pointing at him, and rubbing her runny nose.  She flailed a hand behind her, and Robin handed her a kleenex.  “Wake your boyfriend up!  Call me!”

“Yeah, shut up and take your punishment,” Erica Sinclair sighed.  “You turned them into this, now lie the fuck down, you stupid corpse.”

Billy did so, sighing, but he left his arm sticking out to stroke Steve’s hair.  “‘M not dead,” he muttered.

“We gather here to celebrate the life of one Billy Hargrove,” Max said again, “—my brother, who is annoying as shit, and I’m really pissed at him,” she said, her voice shaking, “—b-because I thought he died tonight.”

“Guys,” Billy mumbled, his eyes stinging, now, and she kicked his thigh.

“Shut up.  I had to make Lucas drive me over here,” she said, sniffling, and clearing her throat, “—because I kept letting the clutch out and killing the engine, and all I could think was my brother’s goddamn ghost voice saying ‘—clutch, Max.  Don’t murder my car, Max,’ and then I thought I-I’ll never have to take his shit again—” she covered her mouth, shutting her eyes tight on a strangled noise, and Billy peered wide-eyed at her over the edge of the sheet.  “—and I missed you,” she choked out, and Billy tried to scramble up, but she kicked him in the leg again, bruising, by now, he was fairly sure.  

“Stay there,” she hissed.  “I pulled a sweatshirt of yours on on the way and smelled your stank and I thought—I thought I’ll never smell it again, I’ll have to just—just curl up in this, it’s the last time I’ll smell your shitty cologne—”

“It’s nice cologne,” Steve mumbled.

She stomped forward to kick Billy again, choking back a sob, and Lucas grabbed her around the waist, holding her back.  

“Glad you’re okay, man,” he said, and Billy nodded, relieved, but Erica raised her hand.  

“Foul,” she said.  “This is a wake.”

“Okay, okay,” Lucas said, obviously thinking.  “Thanks for...getting better,” he said, grimacing.  “You...you went from just being Max’s scary brother to saving one of my best friends,” he said, then paused, biting his lips together.  “I’m glad you’re my brother too,” he said, shrugging a shoulder, and Billy groaned and made a face at him, knowing Lucas Sinclair was probably the only person as embarrassed by this situation as he was.  Lucas grimaced back over Max’s head, but grinned.

 After a long pause next to the bed, Will said “I’m so glad you’re not dead,” so shakily even Erica didn’t try and make him keep talking, and then El broke the rules of the fake funeral, and just hugged Billy.

Billy tried not to die of embarrassment as Nancy talked, long and sincerely, about how happy he made Steve, and Steve nodded against his side, occasionally raising his arm with a thumb up.  

“S’all true,” he mumbled.

Robin waved Max and Erica off when they tried to get her to talk, smiling.  She wiped her eyes too.�� “I’m just glad I don’t have to call everyone and tell them another gay dude died,” she said, a little bitterly.  “Everybody asks about you.”  Her eyes filled with tears, though, and Billy felt a pang of guilt for scaring her.

Dustin hauled off with a whole best man speech at that point, all about how annoying Steve was when they’d first started fucking, and Billy thought he might melt away at the news Steve had liked him so soon.  Dustin, the little shit, knew exactly what he was doing.  “He kept saying ‘I never want him to leave’,” Dustin said, just dropping that bomb with a sly grin.  “Like, ‘Is that weird?  Am I crazy?  I never want him to leave.’”

“Oh my god,” Billy mumbled.

“S’true,” Steve sighed.

“I am conditionally glad you’re alive,” Erica said, and Dustin started cackling, “—because of the way the hospital told Steve you died.  I was really looking forward to telling everybody,” she said, sighing.

“Wait, what the fuck did they tell you,” Billy asked, yanking the sheet off his face again.  

“And then I remembered I’d lose my quiz night teammate,” Erica said, crossing her arms.  

“Said I c’d do it,” Steve slurred.  “Said—”

“Fucking hell fucking no, Steve,” Erica said calmly.  “Billy told me about when you got the ‘who was president during the first gay marriage’ question—”

“ABE LINCOLN!” Steve yelled, again, and Billy groaned, cackling, as Max snorted loudly.  

“...hun,” Billy said, and Steve shook his head, pushing himself up to frown back woozily.

“All...men...created...equal,” he enunciated carefully.  “Abe Lincoln.”

“I mean, to be fair, that shoulda handled it,” Robin pointed out, and Steve gave her two fingerguns.  

“I’ll stay alive and be your bar quiz partner,” Billy told Erica, crossing his heart, and she narrowed her eyes.

“Good, because your man there doesn’t believe in narwhals,” she said, and Steve groaned.

“Stop lying to me about narwhals,” he mumbled.  “I’ve been to the zoo.  Din’t see any...unicorn...whales.”

“They don’t keep them in cages, babe, they’re still whales,” Billy told him, and got a hard prod.  

“He’s a conspiracy theorist,” Steve mumbled sadly.  “Came back from the dead to lie to me about narwhals.”

“I didn’t die, babe,” Billy told him, leaning in for a tequila-flavored kiss.  

“I couldn’t wait to tell the whole dorm a guy I knew shoved a lightbulb up his ass and electrocuted himself over Spring Break,” Erica said, sighing wistfully, and Nancy and Robin started laughing so hard they leaned in to each other.  Billy shot upright in bed, dumping Steve off his shoulder, and nearly clonking skulls with El.

“I’m sorry, they said what,” he said flatly.  “You guys really believed I stuck a lightbulb up my ass and electrocuted myself?  How fucking stupid do you think I am?!”

“You have me,” Steve mumbled, sniffling and reaching for the Tequila, and Dustin snatched it away.

“Oh, no, buddy, you don’t need any more of that,” he said, and Billy nodded.  

“You don’t need to put a lamp up your ass,” Steve mumbled into Billy’s thigh, sniffling, as Billy laughed helplessly.  “You have me, babe—don’t cheat with a lamp.” 

“Yeah, sweetie,” Billy said, yanking him into a tight hug.  “Fuck heaven, right?  Never gonna leave.”

 Here are my other Harringrove April prompts!

Wip Day

Startin this bad boy up (at least this is an attempt)

Chapter 6(?)

TW: Mentions of drugs, suicide, vulgar language, hallucinations, abuse, vomiting

Angel rose up out of bed with a groan followed by a stretch

“Good fucking LORD” Angel grinded out as he cracked his back “I feel worse than that one time I was injected with fucking ketamine...”

After contemplating his life choices, and considering putting a bullet to his head, Angel managed to drag himself towards the window of his room.

“Hmm. Still out here huh?” Angel grumbled discontentedly “I would’ve hope it was a dream” Angel looked up as if he were speaking to God himself

Angel made his way downstairs and looked around. House was still quiet. There’s no way that she was taken, right? Missy couldn’t be gone. Angel had his own “gifts” but Missy was a trained army soldier, maybe higher than just a soldier. All Angel knew was that she was trained in the army and probably had way more control over herself than he did over himself.

“..Missy..?...MISSY?!” Angel called, walking through the deathly silent home

No...no..this isn’t good...They couldn’t have possibly kidnapped her. She’s a trained professional. She would know what to do in these situations. Angel is more likely to get himself captured and probably nearly get himself, and others, killed in the process. And aside from that, if Missy is gone...what will be of Angel? He is nothing but a ticking time bomb waiting to lose control.

Suddenly the silence was broken as his radio cracked “Ayooooo Angel!!!”

Angel jolted nearly sending himself out of his skin “Who the fuck is that” Angel took out his radio “How did I not lose this shit...” he whispered to himself before clicking the radio “Hello..?” Angel answered back

A voice of happiness and relief was heard on the other side “Angellll! Great to hear you’re alive bud! Kinda heard a lot of ruckus going on back at the bunker since you were....ya know...spotted and all but this whole ordeal kinda died down a bit of course..for now that is”

Jesus Christ who is this guy and why is he rambling at a time like this...it’s too fucking hot and early to be talking a man’s ear off.

“Also uh..Sorry about the whole smoke sesh we had the other day I kinda got a bit too excited and gave you way more than a shoulda..You probably feel-“

For fucks sake.

“Jesus fuck you’re talking way too fucking much.” Angel clicked the radio and it went dead silent. Angel drew out a deep sigh and clicked the radio again “Sorry...Havin a bad mornin...what’s your name now?”

“Oh shit my bad- you’re probably feeling like a dog that got ran over!” Connor laughed on the other side “Probably can’t remember a damn thing either...I’m Connor! The guy you met in the bunker” Connor replied in benevolence

Angel paced in the living room “Connor.....guy I met in the bunker......smoking...” Angel froze in realization “This fucking dickwad-“ Angel clicked his radio “YOU’RE THE GUY THAT TRIED TO FUCK ME UP WITH THAT FUCKING BLISS- BULLSHIT.”

“Woah...hey now I said sorry for that already. I meant good intentions. I would never purposely fuck a gay man over unless he fucked me or my guys ov-“

“GOOD INTENTIONS? I HAD TO FIGHT THROUGH RUGGGED MEN WHILE NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE STRAIGHT” Angel blurted out

“HEY. I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE. TO BE FAIR I DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAD A RECORD” Connor yelled back drawling out the ‘record’

“WHATEVER. Say now....what did you give me. I nearly had night terrors because of that fucking plant. And there’s no fucking way that it’s just weed.” Angel sat himself down on the couch thinking about the nightmares he had last night

There was a silence after that question. Was it that it was a mistake? Should he not have asked? Or hesitation? Maybe there was something in that cigarette-joint whatever it was...he-...Connor had to have gotten it somewhere...this wasn’t no ordinary plant or mix of bad drugs in a plant. This was...different.

“Okay....look. I trust you. But you cannot say this to anybody.” Connor spoke carefully

Gullible for a man who works in a cult

“What I put in that joint was bliss oil and ground up Moonflower....l-look I’m sorry okay...the flower adds to the high and the oil makes it burn longer” Connor had a very regretful tone in his voice. But that didn’t explain what any of that substance was...

“What the fuck is bliss oil? And moonflower...sounds slightly familiar..” Angel said confused

“Don’t worry about it. Can you meet me near John’s ranch later?” Connor asked

“That asshole? Fat chance drug mule” Angel returned with a chuckle

“Ya know you should be nicer. And how do you remember him easily???” Connor huffed, malcontented

“This man has been harassing me the last four months ever since I moved here. I think at that point it’s safe to say he has a rememorable face....a punchable one too.” Angel sneered

“O-oh right....probably not a good place then huh...”

“Of c- didn’t you say that I had a record Connor?”

“Okay okay...I wasn’t thinking straight-“

“Obviously”

“Jesus Chr- DO YOU WANT TO MEET AT FALLS END THEN?!”

“That would be great love” Angel mocked

“Ain’t you a peach...you know...I’m starting to believe what John was saying about you.....hmm.” The radio clicked and went silent

“Oh I’m goin to nick his ears off...” Angel growled “Can finish a sentence but not a fight”

Angel got up after having a moment of planning to beat up Connor later and decided it might be better to head to Fall’s End...maybe after a nap of course.. he won’t have to worry about Connor till later.

Angel decided to head back into his room and throw himself on his bed “Oooh...” Angel breathed out “I have a feeling this is gonna be one fucking day.” Angel drawled out in exhaustion before closing his eyes shut.

"𝒜𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓁..."

Angel had a horrible gut wrenching feeling...that voice...that terrible fucking voice...

"𝒜𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓁...." the voice sang his name in a comforting tone...but that voice was never a comfort to him

He kept his eyes shut...but didn’t know how much longer he would have to for him to go away...it was impossible to ignore something that was so insisting and demanding...

"𝒲𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓊𝓅...𝑀𝓎 𝓈 𝑜 𝓃."

He opened his eyes and saw red. Only red. The walls of his room. Red. The ceiling. Red. Where he slept. Red. The sky. Red. Everything was Red. He immediately felt sick but he couldn’t escape there was no escape. He sat up.

There.

There he was in the doorway. Blocking his only way out. The tall figure that loomed over Angel’s doorway. A Man that Angel could never fight, The Man that Angel fears the most more than anything...anyone in the world

𝓐𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵𝓸 𝓢𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓱𝓮𝔃

Angel quickly looked around but realized he was stuck. He was backed into a wall. There was no way he would make it out alive.

"𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒽𝑒 𝒾𝓈...𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒷𝑜𝓎." The voice said tenderly moving closer to him

“D-don’t call me that....” Angel moved back to try to move himself away from the Man but there was no use of it. He started breathing heavy. With every step the Man took the more weight he felt on his chest. He started to spiral, every fighting instinct left his body. He felt like a rabbit being hunted by a Lion.

“𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑔𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝒹𝑜 𝒾𝒻 𝐼 𝒹𝑜?"

“help...h e l p.” He tried to call out but struggled to get the words out between breaths “somebody help me. get me out of here.”

The Man grabbed Angel’s face and tightened his grip, enough to leave bruises on the skin. All the fight left his body...he froze in horror having to force himself to look in his eyes. Tears started to stream down his face and he whimpered and tried to scream.

"𝒮𝒽𝒽𝒽𝒽...𝓆𝓊𝒾𝑒𝓉 𝓃𝑜𝓌..𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓂𝑒" the Man stroked Angel’s face gently while shushing him like a puppy

“I don’t feel safe around you...I will never be safe or free in your hands....” Angel rasped out, nearly overworking his lungs for air “I will never call myself your son.”

The Man’s eye twitched but he cracked a smile "𝒜𝒽..." the man clicked his tongue before breathing in "𝒩𝑜..𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝒻𝒶𝒾𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝒻𝒶𝒾𝓇" he retreated slightly before taking both of his large hands and pressing them on Angel’s throat, tighting them and he watched Angel panick and try to push him away legging out a crooked laugh

Angel saw his vision fading and slowly going dark. He was trying to fight back but it was a losing battle to begin with. So, he gave up.

"𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒶 𝓅𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓉𝒾𝒸 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝑜𝓃"

Angel immediately woke up and started coughing and immediately felt something coming up his throat. He ran to the bathroom and flipped the toilet cover up and immediately started retching. Fluids poured out of his mouth that burned his nose and throat. And when he thought he was done more came back up. After finishing he was shaking and his head was pounding, tears were streaming down his cheeks and he still felt that weight in his chest. He looked into the toilet and...it was red. He flushed the toilet quickly as the color made him nauseous again not to mention he didn’t even have a chance to eat. It was nothing but bile. Angel sat back. He couldn’t even bring himself to try to speak to himself. So he sat on the floor, trembling....crying. The silence in the house was loud. He has to get out of here.

Angel quickly got up in a panic and washed his face and brushed his teeth, wanting to get that awful taste of bile off his tongue. After he packed his backpack with survival tools and some basic needs to help him out...there...I mean there was just more than one man chasing after him...

He wasted no time leaving after, wiping whatever tears were left on his face, God, he hated looking vulnerable I mean he was already enough..

“I’m never taking a fucking nap again...not until the exhaustion comes over me...”

Angel made the trek to Fall’s End. And though it wasn’t a long hike, it was quiet...almost too quiet.

“Hey-“

Angel reached for his hun and aimed at the sudden greeting

“Woah! Hey now! It’s just me Angel Mary May spoke softly

Angel lowered his weapon quickly in shock ‘I could’ve killed her for Christ sake’ he thought

“You okay love? You seem...different? On edge..?” she spoke with a tone that was almost a comforting as Missy, Bless her heart if she’s still out there

Angel tried to get the words out “....I......uhm...y-yea....kind of...just had a nightmare...no big deal...” he manage to put on a smile that could fool a careless man. But Mary saw right through it.

“Look I know you probably don’t wanna talk about whatever is going on with you bit don’t try to fool me with a smile m’kay” Mary scolded Angel a bit and started walking forward to Fall’s End

“Okay mom” Angel huffed out a laugh “Funny seeing you out here huh” Angel followed after her like a little duckling

“Funny seeing me out here? It’s noon Angel! Did you oversleep again?” Mary looked at Angel teasing him a bit

“Very funny. I was up earlier but was still tired from yesterday so I took a nap......unfortunately it didn’t work out in my...uhm....favor” Angel cleared his throat

“Well why don’t you tell me all about it?” Mary asked curiously

‘This is gonna be a common thing huh...’ Angel thought before breathing out “Where do I start?”

Tagging:

@mrspaigeomega @mrsladydiana @oorah22 @minilev @lilwritingraven @scungilliwoman

Persona 5 Royal Playthrough pt3

I ended up going through two Palaces before I could update y’all. Oh well.

...Yeah, no, quit calling me Miss Special Snowflake's boyfriend. It's not happening.

Ryuji, Morgana, and Yusuke having a conversation in the laundromat: "It's like he's our mom," says Ryuji... the mom friend.

Every time Morgana is like "I have to turn into a human so no one else can have Lady Ann!" then expects no one else to hear him makes me laugh. Like, bitch, no.

I have the restaurant in my Thieves Den 'cause I like it. Yusuke, Ryuji, and Morgana are there. They're so precious.

I got a three in a row Tycoon on cutthroat!!!

Ryuji and Ann just keep going "Shoulda figured" and other versions of the statement every time I win.

Ann just rejected Morgana's feelings HARD. I am happy.

Ryuji is too good, honestly. Why would anyone not like him? He's... He's always trying to build the team up, make them proud of themselves and what they've done. I will admit that he has his moments of being not a great human, but they're teenagers who were given absurd powers, so honestly, can you blame them?

I didn't know darts was an actual minigame! There's so many minigames. I'm so happy.

I don't like Akechi. I don't know why some people do. Like, his death scene was a bit... too late for a redemption for me, right after he tried to kill Joker, several times. His pain is understandable, but still... I can't.

Their "two sides of the same coin" also doesn't seem particularly fair. It's totally uneven in everything but color schemes.

Guys, GUYS, please, PLEASE decide whether you're going to react to my teasing or not.

"We don't have to deal with them directly," Ryuji says joyfully about the mafia. Oh you sweet, sweet, innocent child, if only you knew what I do.

I literally can't play this game around anyone else because I tend to yell "BABY!" to Ryuji, Ann, and Yusuke and "BITCH" or "FUCKER" to... a rather long list of villains in this game... and Makoto.

I can literally feel Yusuke's anxiety about his painting when you take him to Leblanc to see Sayuri.

How can you say Yusuke isn't gay when he says everything I do is beautiful?

I love Ryuji's 9th social link. It's LITERALLY written like a confession scene. This also means I kinda hate it because... I can't date him.

Also... PRETTY BOY RYUJI PRETTY BOY RYUJI PRETTY BOY RYUJI

I actually kinda thought that the new scene for Ryuji being a crossdresser is kinda funny??? Is this bad??? I wanna see him in a dress, tho. I gotta agree, he'd be a natural. Not the like, painfully obviously not taking it seriously from the dancing game, though.

Though I do think it's valid that he freaks out when two strange adults come up to him and try to take him somewhere, especially in a place known for being shady, and at night.

...When Ryuji complains about it, I do feel bad about ditching him. Then again, I blame the cat.

Ryuji may be my ideal type on paper, but I'm also highly attracted to Yusuke and this is so totally unfair.

*softly chanting* butlers butlers butlers butlers

Don't mind me just... *makes meticulous plot to avoid having Makoto join the team that i may or may not write a fanfic about*

Makoto is one dumbass bitch. Like, honestly, there's nothing she does that's in any way remotely smart.

...I thought I'd just skip Makoto's scenes until she became relevant, but here I am, still skipping her scenes. Does that mean she’s still irreleveant?

"Witch" I suggest, and Makoto complains! "Would you prefer "Bitch"? I can use that too.

I put Yusuke on the team in the middle of the palace through settings, replacing Morgana, who had been standing right behind me. Which made Yusuke stand right behind me. It looked like he was holding onto my waist and standing uncomfortably close. Bro, babe, I love you, but not in front of my boyfriend and girlfriend!

Just accept the compliment, guys, I'm not going to compliment Queen.

...Opening chests with Ann or Ryuji is just so sweet because they're so affectionate and touchy feely. Especially Ryuji.

Math. Fucking. Sucks. I should not have to use math in a game. I hate this. Obviously it's the Palace Makoto comes in that this happened.

Well, I finished the Palace in a day. I love the feeling. But it was getting close there. Joker and Yusuke were down to no spells...

...Yoshizawa hasn't showed up yet. When is she getting shoehorned in?

WHY IS THE VELVET ROOM RED!?

My very first playthrough I didn't execute a single execution except for the first one we have to do. It  really screwed me over my second playthrough...

...I broke the electric chair. That's certainly something that happened.

147 games of Tycoon later and I've only been a beggar 31 times in total, versus the pure thirty wins in just Cutthroat.

They're in their summer uniforms and it makes make miss warmer weather already. It's fucking snowing outside. Grrrr.

Beat Kaneshiro! ...Wasn't a fan of his new boss battle. I'm even playing on safe mode! But whatever.

Makoto is a DISASTER at Tycoon. She exclusively got beggar all three times I played with her!

...RYUJI YOU CAN'T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT AND NOT LET ME DATE YOU.

Ann, sweeties, baby, you're doing so well.

She confessed to me, then in the call afterwards it was basically insinuated I proposed... WHICH IS LIKE FUCK YEAH 'CAUSE SHE ACCEPTED IT.

It makes me think of the future conversation where they're talking about marriage.

Anyway, if you haven't noticed, l love Ann.

My next playthrough I'm not gong to date her, though. I'm a completionist and I want ALL of the possible awards. But... I refuse to cheat on Ann. So I'll date everyone else then just hang with Ryuji... despite how cringy some of the date things are.

...If Akechi wasn't, you know EVIL and tried to KILL ME, SEVERAL TIMES, I might, MIGHT, like him. But in truth, I think that's really just the Persona 5: Revival talking. We get... into some stuff during that.

I know that either Atlus or the translators know EXACTLY what goes on in the Persona fandom because otherwise "He's too pretty to be wrong" would not be an option when talking to the newspaper girl about Akechi. I have to agree with her that his looks aren't really, you know, awesome enough for that.

Also, I read it as "He's too petty to be wrong" at first and I think that's an accurate sum of his character.

YO AKECHI-FUCK I HAVE NO NEED TO SEE YOUR ASS LIKE THAT WHEN I HAVE BOTH A BF AND AND GF.

...fucker fucking giving me shit about my fake glasses...

If you COULD date the boy out of mod, Akechi would definitely be the one they were pushing you to date. Like Makoto. Or Yoshizawa.

But hey, at least I get to not be nice to him.

I remember seeing this picture where Ann, Ryuji, and Joker kept going to the movies together and seeing 3D movies, and Joker couldn't wear the 3D glasses properly because of his own. I keep imagining that picture during this event with Caroline and Justine.

You know what? Some people call Joker a loli lover because of them, but nope! He's just adopted two more siblings. That is my stance on it.

FUcking

Fucker

WHAT THE FRRRRRRRR

FUCK YOU ATULS OR TRANSLATORS OR WHATEVER

APHRODITE AND MARS ARE FROM TWO DIFFERENT MYTHOS. Aphrodite is GREEK, Mars is ROMAN. Their reversed are VENUS and ARES. USE ONE OR THE OTHER PEOPLE.

I get very pissed about this, and it's worse with Hades.

7/4 is the day I am screaming at, if you were wondering.

My dad asked me if the other students think Joker's stupid because every time I answer a question right they get all surprised.

I don't really like Makoto, as I'm sure you've noticed, but she was super nice about Ryuji's special move idea. And that put her ahead of Akechi in my book.

TESTS ARE NERVE WRACKING EVEN WHEN THEY'RE FICTIONAL

Yusuke and Ryuji are good boys, the best boys. And they're so awesome about their special move.

AND RYUJI OFFERED MONEY FOR YUSUKE'S FOOD. And implied that he did it before???? Ryuji, you best boy.

This boys' outing DOES make me happy, though. Like, insanely happy. Dunno why.

Maybe because Joker gets to be so flipping cheesy.

...fuck you, Yoshizawa.

HONESTLY WHAT THE EVER LOVING--- Grr. Too many choices while with her. Too many. OOC Joker when with her. 0/10.

I LOVE THE FESTIVAL PHOTO

And you know, it's really hard to choose between Lala-chan and Ann, but... GONNA TAKE ANN ON A DATE

Got her some flowers. Lets see if we can give them to her this time!

"Such a good FRIEND." Babe, we're DATING. For like, TWO WEEKS NOW.

AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GIVE HER FLOWERS

Ann called Yusuke a pretty boy, but then she's missing out on the REAL pretty boy, Pretty Boy Ryuji.

Ryuji, why're you so worried about other girls when you've got ME?

"I like the shade." "What are you, moss!?" Oh, admit it, Ryuji, I'm growing on you.

Cargona. Snrk. Gods, I love you, Ryuji.

Dome town with Ryuji! "Isn't it all couples?" That's the point!

I COULD GIVE RYUJI THE ROSES!?

Sadly, I bought those for Ann. Ryuji, you get the noodles.

AND HE FUCKING LOVED IT.

"It feels like I really captured Ryuji's heart!" FUCK YEAH I DID

Gonna give Yusuke the bracelet when I get the chance.

Why is everyone color coded in the chat room? Kawakami, Akechi, Mishima, and the reporter are all ORANGE. What's the point? Well, Akechi's more of a golden orange, but close enough.

While Mishima is not my first choice for a date, he's definitely not my last.

...But the boy really needs some fucking sleep. He's not drawn with the bags under his eyes, but I can see them!

It's not fair that they give Akechi a kicked puppy sprite. I'm... goddamnit, they're trying to make me not hate him.

When Makoto doesn't know something, I'm brought great joy.

NO DAD MAKOTO IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND ANN IS AND SHE IS LITERALLY R I G H T T H E R E

First day in Futaba's Palace! I've gotta say, this is my second favorite palace. Kamoshida, Futaba, Madarame, Sae, Okumura, Shido, Kaneshiro, Holy Grail. In that order. I HATE Kaneshiro's place and dealing with the Holy Grail. But whatevs, man. I love this game. (Vanilla, at least, this one is still on the fence)

I found out a cool little thing. On the uphill sand slopes in the town (don't know about anywhere else) if you're running and turn back quickly, Joker will do a little animation to steady himself. It was cool and made it seem, I dunno, more human? Anyway, while I was admiring this, Ryuji and Yusuke just stood at the top of the slope and Ann followed me while I was running. Best girlfriend ever.

Kin-Ki is looking pretty kin-ky if you know what I'm sayin'

Please don't murder me because I do terrible puns.

*we fall through the trap door* *Ryuji starts screaming* Same, baby, same.

...Makoto is seriously annoying. Like, she's got no business acting as familiar with Futaba's situation. The one who WOULD be the most familiar is Yusuke, and I'm glad he recognizes that. It's not the exact same, none of their stories are after all, but I feel like those two get each other better than even Ryuji and Joker understand each other.

Yusuke and Ryuji's special attack is THE BEST

Ryuji and Joker getting up close and personal in the shadows. All those fanfics coming true, man.

I thought Futaba was sloth, not wrath? Why are her Will Seeds called Wrath?

Beat it in one day! It's so satisfying to watch all those achievements when I leave the palace.

You know, I'm thinking of wearing the Christmas outfits for the final battle. Just to be kinda funny.

Spending a relaxing day with Yusuke after going through Futaba's Palace... kinda want to take him to the bathhouse to check out that new scene, but I also REALLY wanna feed the boy... gonna feed the boy.

Apparently I can only make 'decent curry.' Which is fine. Because "I" can't make curry at all. Joker, you've done much better than I.

THE DATE CHANGE SCREEN HAD A RAINBOW AND RYUJI WAS COMING OVER ON THE SAME DAY FUCK YEAH MY BISEXUAL BABY

...Broooooo, the way you talk about your manga is how I talk right before I start shipping.

Took him to the bathhouse, 'cause I don't gotta worry about Mama Sakamoto feeding him.

...Can I take Ann to the bathhouse?

Asked Ryuji to move in. He was all up for the idea until he remembered that I live in an attic.

I'm Charismatic now!

...I was all hoping Ann would stop by but then Akechi asked me out. Laaaaaaaame.

Ryuji's smile is so fucking cute.

...I say we just be honest, and everyone's so fucking stupid about it until Makoto explains it. This pisses me off. They're not that dumb... At least, they weren't until Makoto showed up.

Futaba's hiding in the closet. ...I've spent too many weeks making jokes about closets to not have a joke about it.

Really, Yusuke? You see those books and think she can't understand?

...Wait, that sassy tone of voice... You were TRYING to pull a reaction of her. I knew I shipped those two for a reason. OTP and BroTP. Doesn't matter, they're both awesome.

I love you Ann, but I don't think your situations were the same at all. It's not like both are valid and bad, but... different.

Joker is SO fast compared to the others, especially when he's speeding.

What the...

Holy fuck...

JOKER IS TOO EFFING COOL

THAT MOVE TO GET FROM THE ENTRANCE TO TO TREASURE DOOR? Awesome!

Damn, Joker has my heart too.

I kinda wish we could see Futaba's costumes in her Persona. That would be pretty neat.

The moment right before Wakaba appears is so aesthetically pleasing.

...Futaba being happy is almost enough for me to accept Maruki's offer, and I haven't gotten there yet.

Ryuji and Ann keep smacking each other out of their ailments. Like, you guys just love each other so much! It's awesome.

Joker has lackluster responses to Wakaba... I'm hoping that isn't one of those "Answer these wrong and you break her!" things... Not that I think I was, but still.

I liked Futaba's new animation for when she defied her mother.

I wish the anime looked more the cutscenes. I'm trying to rewatch the anime so I can pinpoint specific moments for future editing purposes, but it's kinda painful.

1- This is the SECOND TIME you've landed on Yusuke while running from trouble.

2- YUSUKE LET GO OF MY GIRL

No Makoto, I don't want to go see Futaba with you! I can go see her myself.

So, I like Takemi's new voice with her lines during this scene.

Sure, she collapses every so often and sleeps for a while. Stays like that for a few days. Sorry that I put her into a coma for a month, Boss...

SHE LOOKS SO CUTE WITHOUT GLASSES

Guys, we have a month. Stop worrying.

THE TWINS ARE SO CUTE WHILE HANGING ONTO THE BENCH PRESS

Damn, Joker's dying to the amusement of two little girls.

I'm kinda disappointed I didn't get results for all that training. But I liked the scene.

Yusuke just casually be lugging bigass paintings around.

Taking the girls to the church may have been one of the funnier moments. These cement them as Joker's little sisters. With Futaba. Damn, Joker, you got no brothers.

Yusuke promises to come by every day and we can tell him to take his clothes off. ATLUS, you have some EXPLAINING to DO.

..And Yusuke took it and ran with it. My sweet summer child, I don't think I could handle you in as little as possible on the day to day.

"The heat induced delirium made me think outside the box." Same.

Guts takes sooooooooooooo long to level up.

"Punish me more" he says, as if Takemi won't do it.

"Good god. Well, none of my medicine can cure THAT." AT LEAST WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE

BATHHOUSE WITH YUSUKE

Awe, he had fun. :)

Walking on Broken Glass || Solo

TIMING: Last night.

LOCATION: The Bend.

PARTIES: Eddie and a ghost I accidentally became emotionally attached to.

SUMMARY: Eddie spends some time with a ghostly friend, things get a little heavy, then very stupid, and then heavy again. It’s a roller coaster.

CONTENT: Internalized homophobia tw, homophobia tw

Ask any White Crest native about the derelict houses in the bend and they’ll tell you that ‘abandoned’ doesn’t always mean ‘empty.’ Squatters looking to put a roof over their heads might hunker down in the neglected homes, usually becoming a meal for something sinister, but some occupants can’t be so easily disposed of. Those who have no life to be taken from them cling to familiar places instead of moving on. Before death’s embrace, they hung pictures and changed lightbulbs. They tried to determine which color to paint their living rooms before deciding it would be too much work to relocate the furniture. After all, for something to be abandoned, it must have once been cherished.

Eddie knocked on the front door before letting himself in. He arrived later than usual with hardly any time before the sun hung its hat. Soon enough, ‘the bend’ would become ‘the buffet’ for creatures of the night. “Amira?” he called out as he nudged the door shut with his heel. Broken glass covered the living room floor and crunched under his feet as he ventured into the living room. 

“You were supposed to be here hours ago,” a voice replied.

“I got tied up,” he said, turning to face the specter standing mid-way up the stairs. Amira’s arms were crossed, but a few of the stab-wounds on her chest remained visible. “What’s with the glass?”

“Oh, you know,” Amira sighed as she descended to the ground-floor. “I started thinking about how I’ll never taste freshly made coffee again and it made me so distraught that I shattered the windows.”

“As one does,” Eddie sagely responded. With a shrug, his backpack slipped off his shoulders. He tossed it onto the faded couch and began rifling through the main compartment in search of his portable speaker. “On the bright-side, the outcome of your afterlife crisis has inspired the first title on tonight’s soundtrack.” Eddie placed the speaker on the coffee table and synced it to his phone while Amira closed the distance between them. Her eyes curiously watched as he scrolled through song titles.

“Why couldn’t those have been around in the ‘80s?” she asked with a huff.

“Blame Reagan,” Eddie said before hitting play.

‘Walking on Broken Glass’ by Annie Lennox streamed from the speaker in all its soul-pop glory. Eddie shoved his phone into his back pocket and took a cursory glance around the room in search of the broom and dustpan.

“In the kitchen, where you left them,” Amira instructed.

“How do you do that?”

“What, read your mind? You act like it’s difficult.”

Eddie eyed her with light-hearted skepticism as he slipped by, careful not to pass through her. Amira didn’t like being reminded of her intangibility; it exacerbated the ache of a half-existence. From time to time, when their conversations lulled or Eddie seemed distracted, she asked if he couldn’t see her anymore, always with a look of mild panic. The thought of her killer seeing the world continue to grow and change while she faded away kept her from crossing-over. It didn’t matter that prison bars obstructed his view, she said they were both destined to cope with cages someone else put them in. Her cage had nice flowers on the wallpaper and memories of brighter days, at least.

In the kitchen, Eddie noticed the cupboard doors opening and closing along with the music and immediately grinned. Life dealt him a hand he didn’t always know how to play, but helping the dead come back to life for a little while made it seem worth it. He grabbed the handle of the broom and rejoined Amira in the living room. He watched as her shoulders bounced rhythmically.

“Looks like I’ve given Annie Lennox a brand-new fan,” he remarked. 

“I’m inclined to agree.” Amira simpered at him over her shoulder. “When did this song come out?”

“Uh, the ‘90s, I believe.”

“Explains why I’ve never heard it, but I’m in love with her voice.”

“With pristine taste like that, you’re a girl after my own heart,” Eddie crooned wistfully while ushering shards of glass into a neat pile.

“I don’t think I’m your type.”

Eddie froze mid-sweep and furrowed his brow. He thought about Nell, about Alfie and Kyle, how they highlighted an aspect of himself he preferred to keep in the dark, all in unique ways that seemed to share the same conclusion. Eddie remembered the first time he saw two men holding hands in public and the way his mother told him to look away. He felt scared, not for himself, but for them. That day in the common, onlookers didn’t see an innocent display of affection, they saw something unfit for their children to be around. Eddie didn’t agree, but to think that someone might view him as a threat for something as innocuous as holding another man’s hand shook him to his core. He didn’t want that to be his life.

“Why does everyone assume I’m gay?” Eddie laughed, trying to pretend it didn’t bother him. “Is it, like, a vibe, or… ?”

“I meant because I don’t have a corporeal body, but now that you mention it…”

Realizing the error in his assumption, he quickly pulled his phone out and turned the speaker’s volume up to maximum. “I’m sorry,” he shouted. “I can’t hear you at all, Amira! You’re gonna have to speak up.” Eddie gestured to his ears and shrugged helplessly before turning away from her and making a beeline for the stairs, letting the broom hit the floor as he departed.

“Edward!” Amira called out to him.

“You got me feeling like the Ting Tings because that is not my name!”

“I don’t get that reference! Eddie, get back here, there’s still glass everywhere!”

“Shoulda thought of that before you took your anger out on innocent windows!”

Annie Lennox wailed from downstairs as Eddie barrelled towards the closest door. His hands wrapped around the handle and pulled, but to no avail. 

“You idiot,” Amira scolded, suddenly right next to him. “You can’t hide from me in this house, I’m everywhere.” 

“That’s so scary, why would you say that to me?” Eddie balked through laughter, still tugging fruitlessly on the door. 

It didn’t take much to distract Eddie from the uncomfortable topics that plagued his mind. He perfected the art of running away from his problems at an early age like a true prodigy. Even Amira cracked a smile at how utterly ridiculous he looked trying to open a door he didn’t stand a chance against. 

“Fine, you want inside that bad? Go ahead.” With a flick of her wrist, the door opened and Eddie, not letting go of the door fast enough, fell back against the upstairs railing. His chest heaved as looked down at the distance between himself and the floor.

“Fuck,” he breathed. “I could’ve died—then we’d be roommates.”

“God forbid,” Amira tittered.

Eddie elected to ignore that comment and focus on the room he now had access to. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in here,” he said as took a few steps in. Aside from the moonlight streaming in from the window, shadows dominated every corner. He squinted to bring what he could into focus: a large bed with a plush comforter, a vanity littered with objects he couldn’t quite make out, a couple of nightstands. All in all, it seemed like a perfectly normal bedroom aside from the dated furniture, but that was to be expected.

“Probably not,” Amira said, drifting in after him. “Look, Eddie, about what happened downstairs…”

Eddie turned to face her and shook his head. “We really don’t need to talk about it.”

“Okay, but let me just say that, if you were…” she trailed off with a sigh. “Whatever you end up being, it won’t matter to me.”

“It’s not you I’m worried about, Amira.” He wandered over to the bed and ran his hand over the comforter. He wondered if time took away its softness or if the people of the ‘80s harbored a vendetta against comfort. “It’s everyone else.”

Eddie collapsed into bed and closed his eyes, laying on his back while Amira watched mournfully. She wanted to offer him comfort, to somehow convince him that happiness existed even for those who didn’t fit into society’s neat little boxes. The words wouldn’t come to her and, even if they did, she knew how difficult he could be. If Eddie didn’t want to listen, he wouldn’t. She wracked her brain for something that might cheer him up.

“Hey Eddie,” she said as she moved to the unoccupied side of the bed. “This is where I died, my final resting place as it were. I’m willing to share it for a while if you are.”

“Nice,” he replied with a hint of a grin. “I’d like that.”

She lowered herself onto her side, propping up on her elbow. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but have you ever looked into therapy?” She peered down at him as he nodded solemnly.

“And therapy has looked into me.”

From across the room, Amira lifted a throw blanket off of the vanity’s chair-back and guided it to the bed to drape over Eddie. It felt like the closest she could get to giving him a hug, which looked exactly like what he needed as he laid next to her in silence.

“You’re gonna be okay, you know that, right?” she softly asked.

“We’ll see.”

Day 12- Tropetember: Love Confessions/First Kiss

Day 12 of super early Tropetember with Love Confessions/First Kiss. Steve and Bucky go on a walk and discover some secrets.

On Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32538613

Steve grinned brightly before remembering to dial it back for a moment as Bucky looked over to him and smiled back at him, Steve fidgeted on his feet as he waited for Bucky to be ready.

The pair had decided to go out for a walk around the compound's grounds since it was surrounded by a open field with trees lining it to give them a sense of privacy, Steve couldn't care less about where they were walking but Bucky didn't want to go far from base so Steve suggested to walk the grounds.

Bucky pulled his jacket on and nodded to the door so Steve stood up from the stool he had been sitting on and rushed to follow him, he heard Sam snicker at him but ignored it as Bucky looked over his shoulder and smiled at him again.

It had been ten months since getting Bucky back from Hydra and he was getting closer and closer to the confident Bucky from before the war everyday, of course not everyday was a good day but Steve always made sure he did everything he could to help even if it was just giving the man some space. The pull to Bucky Steve had had ever since he was a kid was just as strong as ever, Steve wasn’t an idiot either and he knew exactly what the ‘pull’ was but he never knew if Bucky had the same and now didn’t want to make Bucky uncomfortable when he wanted Steve’s support.

“Did ya see Tony kissing that fella last night?” Bucky asked in a hushed tone, his head was ducked like he was trying to avoid anyone seeing him talking, and Steve had to try and not laugh since Bucky was always his mother’s son and loved a bit of gossip.

“Sure, why?” Steve nodded his head and cocked his head curiously when Bucky stayed quiet for a moment “You can ask me anything, Buck, you can tell me anything you want”

“I didn’t know he’s, uh, gay is all” Bucky said in a hushed tone, his eyes darting around nervously as Steve realised that no one had sat Bucky down and explained that being gay wasn’t a dirty secret anymore, especially not surrounding the team.

“He’s Bisexual actually, means that he likes both” Steve explained and watched Bucky’s face for any signs of disapproval, he knew that Bucky didn’t have a problem with it before but he had no idea if Hydra had filled his head with hatred or not.

“You can do that?” Bucky asked with wide eyes as his feet stumbled to a halt.

“Yeah, people can love both men and women” Steve stopped and spoke in a soft voice, he recognised the look on Bucky’s face when Sam had mentioned a friend who was openly gay and Steve had almost cried when Sam told him that his friend was getting married to another man “It’s different now, Buck, people can love whoever they want now, sure there’s still people who disagree, but things are better now”

“I, I think that sounds like me” Bucky’s voice was shaky and unsure but as he looked up to Steve, he could see the fear flashing in his eyes for a brief moment before Steve smiled warmly at him “You’re not mad?”

“‘Course not, Buck” Steve pulled Bucky to him and tried not to melt into the embrace as Bucky pulled him back, Bucky’s hold on him was strong but not enough to hurt or even make Steve feel uncomfortable “I could never be mad at you, especially not for this”

Steve felt Bucky start to move away and forced himself to let go as his heart fluttered when Bucky grinned at him, looking the happiest Steve had seen him since getting him back. They started back on their walk and Steve could tell that Bucky was thinking away so he kept his mouth shut and let the man think without interruptions.

It wasn’t until they were almost back to base when Steve realised that he hadn’t said anything about himself, suddenly realising why Bucky had looked so anxious when was talking about his thoughts and feelings on the subject.

“I shoulda said, Buck, I’m gay and I’m out to the public, like everyone knows about it” Steve explained casually but stopped when Bucky paused again and whipped his head over to him, his heart going tight with nerves that Bucky would suddenly turn on him despite their conversation earlier.

“That’s why ya never came dancing?” Bucky asked but it sounded more like an answer than a question, it made Steve laugh all the same.

“Sure Buck, that’s why” Steve laughed and couldn’t help but snort when Bucky looked confused “Buck, the girls knew I wasn’t interested in them but they were also much more interested in dancing with you than even looking at me. Even if I had been interested in them, I still wouldn’t have gone”

“When you came with us, I saw you watching like you wanted to dance, if you weren’t interested in the girls who were you interested in?” Bucky kept questioning him and Steve panicked as he struggled for an answer, but Bucky beat me as he gasped softly and stared at Steve who immediately went bright red and stepped back as Bucky screeched “ME?!”

“Little louder Buck, don’t think the rest of the team heard you” Steve grumbled as he shrunk back and looked at the grass like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen, Bucky stared at him like he was a puzzle and Steve could feel the weight of it on his shoulders just like when they were kids in Brooklyn.

“Stevie” Bucky cooed at him and frowned when Steve flinched at the name and stepped away from him again “Look at me, Stevie”

“Can’t you just hit me now?” Steve asked fearfully and whimpered when he saw Bucky’s hand reach out for him, stumbling back as his eyes shot up to look at Bucky who was staring back with hurt and confusion “I get you’re mad at me and I’m sorry, but you gotta know I wouldn’t do anything”

“Stevie, I ain’t mad at you” Bucky said as held his hands up and stepped closer to him, it was clear to see how Steve tensed and got ready to bolt “I promise, I ain’t mad. Just wished you woulda said something sooner, I always suspected something”

“Really?” Steve’s voice squeaked before he cleared his throat awkwardly as Bucky nodded “I tried so hard to hide it”

“Stevie, I knew you better than anyone, ‘course I could tell” Bucky smiled warmly and his eyes crinkled at the corners as Steve chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, Bucky tipped Steve’s chin up carefully as he stepped into his space and watched the shock and confusion written across the blonde’s face even as Steve’s heart pounded in his chest and his stomach felt like a million butterflies “Exactly why I never told you, knew you would look at me like this and knew you’d get us in trouble”

“Wha-” Is all Steve got out before Bucky was kissing him, Steve gasped against his lips before melting into it and letting Bucky take the lead as his hands froze at his sides.

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh quietly at Steve’s awkwardness, the bright blush covering his face and the fond look on his face “First kiss out the ice or something, Stevie?”

“First kiss ever” Steve was close to panting as he looked at Bucky with wide eyes and found that his world had narrowed right now to the brunette stood in front of him “Never wanted to kiss anyone else”

“Holy shit” Bucky hissed through his teeth before cupping Steve’s face in his hands and pulling him in for a deeper, slower kiss that had Steve whimpering and grasping at his shirt, desperate to ground himself as his mind raced and froze at the same time “You waited all this time for me?”

Steve couldn’t find his words so he just nodded as he leant his forehead on Bucky’s and tried to catch his breath, hands still holding Bucky’s shirt as his heart thudded so fast that Steve panicked about his old medical issues for a moment, wondering if he needed his inhaler again. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist and pulled him into a hug so Steve could sag against him and he could feel as the blonde buried his face into Bucky’s hair, usually Bucky couldn’t stand anything near his neck but he knew that Steve was safe.

“Please be real” Steve whimpered softly and Bucky wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear that or not but hugged Steve tighter as he felt his shoulder grow damp with tears “I love you, Bucky, I’ve always loved you”

“Love you too, Stevie” Bucky whispered back and gently ran his fingers through Steve’s short hair as the man let out a choked out sob, the ex-Hydra weapon knew exactly how it felt to finally express your emotions after having to bottle them up for years “Come on, let’s get you inside”

“Don’t wanna let go” Steve’s voice was weak and trembled as he spoke, but moved as Bucky pulled away and scrubbed his hands over his face before letting Bucky see his face even though it was still clear that he had been crying. Bucky gently took hold of Steve’s hand in his metal one and just raised an eyebrow at him, smiling when Steve blushed and nodded back.

“To the end of the line, right Stevie?” Bucky smirked at him and laughed as Steve knocked their shoulders together.

“Jerk” Steve teased as he smirked right back.

“You love it… Punk” Bucky laughed as they walked into the compound, ignoring the surprised looks he got from the Avengers whose eyes’ flicked between their hands and their happy faces.

“Yeah, I do” Steve nodded confidently before the pair of them laughed and Clint gave Tony ten dollars as Natasha took her ten dollars from Sam “Did you bet on us?”

“Yeah, did you tell him or did he figure it out?” Tony asked casually and Steve just sighed as he shook his head, walking off to grab a bottle of water as Bucky hung back a moment “So?”

“I figured it out, he danced around it” Bucky whispered before running after Steve when the blonde called him, neither saw the rest of the money swapped since they were too busy trading kisses as they made coffee.

Bucky had worried about getting accepted by the team, but it turns out that they were more than happy for them even if they did tease and poke fun at them every chance they got.

alright i watched the whole third season of House of Anubis

I first have to say how much I enjoyed the leads: Eddie and KT. They have such a good chemistry and they’re honestly hilarious together. As I mentioned before, I did ship them together when I was younger and first watched the show but with watching it again, I would keep them as friends. Best friends. (especially since KT is hella gay I don’t care what anyone says) They totally give me Cloak and Dagger vibes, especially in terms of partnership. At the start of the show, they were alone, they had no one to confide in, no one to be with, Eddie was torn about letting Sibuna know about Nina, still not over Patricia. KT just lost her grandfather and came to England on a quest with some key and vague warnings, she was hella confused but still did so out of loyalty to her grandfather (this baby is too precious and good for this world, i swear). And next thing you know, fate and Osirian visions bring them together. They form a partnership, they snoop around the Gatehouse, they form a bond. And I love it so much. What I love especially, is that at the end, when the sinners are everywhere and even the Sibuna members are taken as sinners, it’s down to Eddie and KT, just like the beginning. Sure, they get help from Willow and Harriet, but they lose Willow pretty quickly, and right at the end, Harriet sacrifices herself so they can get the other key and lock away the evil for good. And together, Eddie and KT join the keys and lock the evil as one. They started together, and they ended it together, and I think that was really poetic. I know that the Osirian and the Chosen One are meant to be the pair and the Ying & Yang, but in this particular case, Eddie and KT were a bond formed by friendship and hardship rather than destinies planned or written in the stars by the gods, yes fate brought them together, but only because they knew they could only accomplish their tasks with each other. I especially loved when they took down Ammut, and Robert tried a last ditch attempt to get KT to feel guilty over doing this, telling her that he would die if Ammut was locked away. It brings in KT’s loyalty to her family, even when it’s bad, but then Eddie yells during the commotion, “Don’t trust him, trust me!” And I think it really brings a full circle what a great partnership and bond they have.

Other than that, it’s really just random stuff I liked

i liked that Willow could sense bad vibes that Robert had whenever he was around Anubis House, as well as sensing the bad vibes that sinner!Victor and sinner!Patricia gave off. I kinda wished they could’ve looked more into that. Like she was naturally sensitive to these things or something.

Her relationship with Alfie was a nice touch, seeing him with someone who liked the same things that he did was real cute. Especially seeing them happy.

Victor and Sweet playing that card game gave me life.

Joy’s new attitude and look were certainly appreciated

While I preferred the Jerome that developed in S2 and won Mara over (especially over the course of the first season and second, i mean talk about a slow burn done right) and rather he didn’t cheat on her and Willow, the Joy+Jerome ship wasn’t terrible. I much prefer the developed S2 Jerome, I’ve said this twice now, but again, it wasn’t terrible. (but real talk? KT and Joy should’ve happened)

Amber being the one to bring Sibuna and the pair Eddie & KT together because *Amber Millington voice* “Hello people! Isn’t it obvious? Work together.”

Like that girl knew what was up. Well, she did invent Sibuna, not surprised.

Alfie was perfection this season, leave him be. Also, highlights of him:

“Crypts are for dead people!” “I’m afraid of everything.” “Guys, go! Get out of here! Sibuna! SIBUNNAAA!!”

I already talked plenty of Eddie and KT being the best, so yeah. But imma do it again anyway.

I have a theory that Eddie focused his primary Osirian instinct of being protective over the Chosen One to being protective over KT. Like he reffocused his powers to someone else for the time being. Nina wasn’t there, and when KT showed up in his vision it was almost like the house was telling him “You need to help her now. Keep her safe.” And I really like that.

It was especially shone a lot through out the season, and the last episodes too. 

When sinner!Patricia and sinner!Fabian had KT and wanted to exchange an artifact that Eddie had discovered, she told him to run and get away, like they did when Alfie told them to leave him behind. And he says, “That was Alfie, this is you.”

And when Eddie, KT, Willow and Harriet went to get the sun key from Caroline, and she managed to take KT and Willow and turn them into sinners, Eddie says, “Not KT,” very worriedly. Later on he’s hard on himself, “I can’t believe they got to KT.”

It was interesting that half the season was awakening the man in the tank and the other half was releasing evil into the world. Like a different feel for half the season, not many shows do that.

I kinda despise the fact that the things I didn’t like are probably going to be longer.

Let’s go paragraph first so, how about that plot? First off, the whole thing is very weird for Sibuna. The first two seasons were about riddles and thinking things through. They were real mysteries. In this, it was more direct, they had an obvious problem, they had to stop the bad guys from waking up a bad guy, and then literal evil converted their own friends against each other. It sounds super interesting for a Vampire Diaries or Teen Wolf or even My Babysitter’s A Vampire plot line (or just one episode) since those shows were more active based. This season barely had any hidden things or riddles, and half of it had Sibuna paranoid and working against each other which I’m sure no one really loved. Not to mention that the action mainly happened at the Gatehouse rather than the actual Anubis House, the center for two of the last mysteries. Now I know, I know, the new season couldn’t just be a copy, and having a third mystery with hidden compartments over the house would certainly be a lot for Robert and Louisa. But I mean, didn’t Het Huis Anubis have four seasons? They couldn’t just do their version of that? I’m guessing that they did something different (I really hope so, because if not, this is embarrassing)

things i did not like at all about this season

the fact that they twisted Mara’s character up in their new ‘messed up girl obsessed with a boy’ like Joy in S2. just- why?

the fact that they undid a bunch of Jerome’s development.

or how about the fact that all Jerome got to do this season was be part of a love triangle cheat fest and then a love drama with Joy. In S1 he shoved himself into Sibuna and Rufus and it was bad for him, but he was involved. And S2, he was just amazing, they managed to connect his family and his family troubles with something that Sibuna would’ve needed for the Mask of Anubis: the Frobisher Gem. It all came together perfectly.

we didn’t get anything of Mr. Sweet telling Eddie about his Osirian thing or their family history.

The way they treated KT when they thought she was evil. It was so messed up, honestly, that poor baby. (though I did appreciate that the other residents noticed, like at breakfast when she sat down and no one looked at her, and he said, “Good morning, KT.” and he just noticed something was wrong. And then Joy and Mara noticed. I just really feel like that was the moment where Jerome and Joy coulda been more involved with Sibuna again- wait what am I saying)

No, when they and Patricia and Alfie were at the Gatehouse and they tried to warn them about the ceremony is when JOY AND JEROME SHOULDA GOTTEN INVOLVED IN SIBUNA AGAIN. Or like, at least be more aware, I mean come on?? Joy, you’re better than this. And Jerome, you’ve seen enough weird stuff to know when it’s Sibuna-related and usually that means deadly-related so you’re whole having two girlfriends thing can wait for a while.

Caroline Denby sucked. (And Caroline Forbes from TVD is a fan favorite of mine and not to mention that MY NAME IS CAROLINE so imagine that).

the fact that we got rid of the real Victor was kinda just wrong for me. I mean, Victor has always been a pain in the ass with the kids, and he’s usually wanted what they were after as well but he’d never resort to murder or anything like that, so when he got turned into a sinner and lost his friggin soul (yes, they said that, this is true) we truly lost Victor and I didn’t like that at all.

Season 1 was all about a mystery but also partly conspiracy, there was a moment between all five of Sibuna where they got proof and realistic statements after Joy lied to them (at the insistence of her dad) they were starting to think that the mystery wasn’t real and almost backed out of the search. Remember? Nina said, “You guys aren’t giving up on me, right?” Anyway, that was that. It was all about finding more information about what really happened and what’s really going on. About finding answers.

Season 2 was darker, it was a race against time because unlike the mystery of the first season, this one was more about saving themselves. Nina’s life and her friends and Gran would’ve died, it’s a great motivator to go through the tunnels. And there were moments where we see just how serious this is, there’s one shot where Nina is in a dream sequence in the house and all her friends are running away from her, terrified. And even when Victor sees her, he backs away in fear and hides himself in his office and then in the mirror it’s revealed Nina’s dressed and appears as Senkhara. And then when Senkhara freezes Vera, Victor knows it’s time to back away, he’s scared, he’s worried, so we see him do what he has to do to get Vera back. And when he’s playing the game? With Sibuna as his game pieces on the huge board? When Alfie disappeared, he backed out, he knew when to stop and almost considered calling Mr. Sweet to do something about it.

Meanwhile, Season 3 was all dark evil stuff, run for your life or your literal soul will be taken. It’s the end of the world if they awaken this sleeping dude, we need heroes to stop the bad team. Oh no, he’s awake, now he’s going to unleash hell and evil and it’s the end of the world, only now everyone’s converted to the evil and it’s real bad, we need heroes desperately. 

This season might’ve been more dark or good vs. evil type of thing but it just didn’t feel right for HOA. The show has always been subtle, it’s quiet and the kids solve the mystery and they do everything very hushed and private, this season sort of felt like WHOAH PIE IN YOUR FACE GUESS WHAT IM A SIBUNA what with turning the whole school into sinners, I just didn’t like the whole school being this active. but that’s me personally. 

Robert Frobisher-Smythe being the one in the tank is ridiculous considering wE SAW HIS FRIGGIN GHOST AT THE END OF S1. And honestly, bringing him in and saying that he’s going to bring forth a darkness to make people evil and bring the apocalypse is just a really bland plot. It’s no mystery, it’s legit good guys vs. a villain. It’s a ‘save the world’ plot, yeah like we’ve never seen that before.

We love the mystery, where was it? oh right, nowhere.

When the four descendants of Robert’s expedition party were revealed: Patricia, Joy, Alfie and Jerome, there could have so much content.

The four of them speaking in unison while they sleep should’ve been used more.

Remember the childhood lullabies they were supposed to use to find a random artifact? Those lullabies were riddles and other than that cylinder that KT opened using her synesthesia, it was the only thing that made it feel like good old days of House of Anubis.

again, making Robert the man in the tank and then evil was just stupid. im not gonna approach the fact that he took the punishment meant for his expedition party and that’s why he’s cursed, and now he’s evil? oh gods

again, seeing the three OG Sibuna gang members evil and not on Sibuna kept killing me.

that ending bugged me

like oh no! everyone’s gone insane, we gotta shut this thing down before it devours more souls. TWO HOURS LATER and now it’s time to enjoy fireworks and Fabian and Mara and flirting and its so unnecessary, whyy??

Leave Mara with Jerome (in which he didnt cheat) and Willow is happy with Alfie and KT and Joy are out there being gay as hell. Those are the ships that shoulda happened.

Honestly, when I think back at S2 and Amber and Nina are there, it just brings back such good vibes. S2 really is the best season, but I stand by my love for Eddie and KT. Friendship goals AF. Like I said before, the third season was in your face, it was loud and it was telling everyone ‘end of the world’ and when you think about it, it’s perfect for the characters they introduced. S1 and S2 fit so well for Nina, because she’s like that, she’s quiet yet badass and is about riddles and mysteries. Meanwhile, Eddie is loud and wants to get this over with, LET’S BREAK INTO OUR TEACHER’S HOUSE BECAUSE I HAVE A HUNCH. YOU WANNA SEE THE SLEEPING MAN’S FACE, FABIAN? LET’S REMOVE THE GLASS. LET’S STEAL THE TANK WITH THE SLEEPING MAN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.  LET ME JUST BARGE INTO VICTOR’S OFFICE TO TAKE YOUR KEY BACK, KT. LET’S DO WHATEVER IMPORTANT TASK OR MISSION WE NEED HAVE TONIGHT. LET ME BANG AGAINST PIPES AND BRICKS REALLY LOUDLY. And let me tell you, it just makes me laugh how into it he gets, like “why not?” it’s just so funny for some reason. Anyway, I think they decided to make this season fit what they wanted Eddie to be and that’s what they did. I loved Eddie’s performance, I loved him so much, I loved KT more. But I just didn’t love this season.

The only thing Joey loves more than playing god and Henry Stein, is fucking with people's heads.

Summary: In which two older men relentlessly tease a younger coworker to the point it becomes detrimental to the object of their "affections". AKA Norman doesn't know how to feel about his attraction to Sammy, and Joey likes to fuck with people. Tom doesn't help in the slightest.

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[[MORE]]

Sammy was exhausted. Both physically and mentally, as he'd had another frustratingly long day "correcting" scores he'd been working on for weeks and enduring the band's incessant incompetence.

Oh, and there were also Norman and Joey who, for some mysterious reason, had decided to begin tormenting the hell out of him.

Overall a regular day at the studio, but one that ended up grinding his gears in the most painful way possible.

"Abigail, I'm home..." He called out to his younger sister, now well on the way to womanhood at the ripe age of 15, and ready to "face the world" or so she'd said (nevermind that she still got anxious when he was late).

"Dinner will be ready soon! Take your shoes off mister!" She called out from their tiny kitchen. In her desire to prove herself quite grown up she'd taken to cooking for him whenever he came in late from work, as opposed to keeping him on his feet like when she was still unable to reach the stove properly.

He had to admit, at least what she made was palatable. For all that he was good with an instrument and a tune, Sammy lacked tallent in the cooking department. Still he'd miss those nights where he'd make "drowned pasta burnt Bolognese" for the both of them to enjoy. But not as much as he missed his mother's cakes.

"What are we having?" He put his coat on the hanger and kicked off his shoes. The floor looked a bit slick from Abby moping it no doubt. She still hadn't gotten the hang of getting the excess water off of the mop.

"I thought we could mix things up and have breakfast foods for dinner. Like when I was six." She explained, seeming rather chipper. "Those were fun nights."

"That they were..." He joined her in the kitchen, enjoying the smell of cooking bacon and eggs, as well as warm toast and fresh orange juice. He'd kill for some whiskey though.

"They also cheered me up everytime, so I thought it could work for you too, Sambo." And there it was. Astute observation on her part, Abby always knew when he was down in the dumps for real. Getting harassed at work was definitely one way to get him a little under the weather.

"Don't call me that."

"Oh why not? I think you'd like a good samba. I've seen you dance Sammy, you could light up a room with just how happy you get shaking about." She smiled genuinely at him, but there was a hint of concern in her eyes. He smiled back as she placed a plate in front of him, and smiled wider when she gave him a bottle of licor rather than the juice she was having for herself. "Just a little treat, so you feel better."

"You're a little angel, you know that?" He ruffled her hair and chuckled bitterly. Yeah, an angel. Unlike those good for nothing-- Patience Sammy. No need to get upset while eating a meal with his sister.

"Everyone needs one guarding their back." Abigail stated before tucking in, looking up at him with a mouthful of eggs and bacon. "So. Spill. What's got my grumpy brother in a perpetual A?"

"Abby, don't talk with your mouth full." He chastised, ignoring her usage of musical keys to coax the issue out of him. "It's really nothing to worry about. Just work being bothersome."

"It's not nothing. You usually grumble when it's just work. This is clearly something else if it's making you quiet." Abby insisted after swallowing her food. "Samuel Lawrence Jr is not a quiet man."

That he wasn't, and that was the give away here. She knew how to read him like a book and it was honestly pointless trying to skirt around it. Abigail was a Lawrence after all. And a Lawrence was as stubborn as a mule out in the field.

So... He relented and told his sister.

"It's stupid. It's so freaking stupid!" He covered his face with his hands, frustrated and embarrassed. "Joey and Norman have been acting like petulant children! Mocking me openly, leaving little notes teasing me, heck even talking behind my back about how much they dislike me! What's worse is it's spreading! Even Thomas Connor has taken to mouthing off to his GENT subordinates, and people laugh whenever they see me! It's... It's disheartening! And very distracting!"

He sighed.

"It's stupid..."

"No it's not!" Abby startled him, the look of anger on her face giving him pause. "You're getting bullied! It's not stupid to feel bad about it."

"It is if you're a grown man. Grown men don't feel sad when their coworkers talk behind their back. That's..." Wimpy? Queer stuff? Worthy of a beating? His father would sneer at the thought of his only son being a wuss about this sort of stuff.

"Sammy, you're allowed to be sad if people are assholes to you."

"Abigail Marie Lawrence!"

"Don't pull that card with me. You know I'm right! They have no right to make you feel so rotten!"

She was right. They really didn't have the right to do this... But there was nothing he could really do.

Well, actually there was, he just couldn't do it to Drew of all people. But Norman and Thomas were another story.

-

"You know you deserve this don't you?" Lacie Benton sighed as she dabbed Norman's swollen eye with a wet cloth. Besides her, Jack was helping sling his arm until he could have a doctor check it out for him. He'd landed pretty bad on it and, although he doubted he'd broken it, he couldn't quite move it from the pain.

"I know..."

"If you'd just told him instead of going off being so childish... Oh Norman what were you thinkin'?! Invitin' that devil t' start sayin' those things?! You should know better!" Lacie ranted on, frowning at the roughed up older gentleman she was currently caring for.

"I... I panicked. I still don't know how to address my issue with Sammy." He tried to explain. "I didn't think it'd escalate into him going crazy and comin' ta rip my throat out for it!"

"This is Sammy Lawrence we're talking about Norman. He was raised by a racist Catholic man that taught him gays and blacks are evil." Jack pointed out. "Resorting to 4th grade pettiness to show your crush you like them was definitely asking for Sammy to lose it and get revenge."

"An' Drew joinin' in on the "fun" did no good. I swear that man realized you were gettin,' sweet on him an' thought it'd be just swell t' ruin your days." Lacie huffed irritably.

"Thomas didn't help with the betting poll either. Everyone took the week to piss off Sammy, I swear to God..." Jack sighed.

"My fault. I shoulda' been more sensible... Kid hates me for sure now."

"Depends if he remembers. You both fell down the stairs pretty hard." Lacie reminded him. "Which reminds me, you should be expectin' a call soon. Your brother had to take that kid's poor sister to the hospital to check on her ornery brother."

"Oh... I'm dead for sure. If not by my brother's hand, it'll definitely be by my niece and nephew's..." He pauses, considering his options "Or worse... They'll set Sammy's sister on me! She can be real scary when she's mad!"

Needless to say, after indeed getting yelled at over the phone by Abigail Lawrence and having to apologize to Sammy while he dealt with a broken leg, Norman didn't tease the music director all that much after that incident. And whatever bets Thomas made became less public for fear of losing another molar. Sammy Lawrence had one hell of a right hook!

Joey still went out of his way to be a jackass though. He much liked teasing his favourite employees, and nothing would change that.

I also really like the idea of Maggie (and Went if he’s still alive in this version) being very supportive of Richie when he comes out as an adult and also being there for his best friend (and now boyfriend) Eddie :)

this is late and it accidentally got long but i’ve been thinking about it a lot

also. went? dying? never heard of it!!

but yeah they’d be really supportive!! and this is one thing about richie that maggie felt like she understood, felt like she maybe understood it even better than richie had as a kid. she could understand the way richie looked at eddie, because it was the same way wentworth looks at her.

and think about them staying with went and maggie over the holidays their first year together after they kill It. and no one but the losers know yet bc it’s super new and they’re figuring it out so richie calls his mom like “hey... i’ll be there on tuesday.... it’s cool if i bring someone right?”

and maggie, who hasn’t met one of richies girlfriends since he was in his twenties, is like !!!!! of course dear!!!

it’s not until they’re on the plane headed to their house that eddies like “so how did maggie and went react when you told them?”

“told them what?”

“....that we’re together??”

“oh. funny story, actually...”

“jesus christ”

“just richie is fine”

eddie ignores this. “do they even know you’re bringing a guy home?”

“listen eds. look. listen. is that even relevant information?”

eddie looks at him like he’s never met a bigger idiot, but it only takes a few seconds before he sees the actual problem: richie is terrified. neither of them really had to fear rejection from their friends, because their friends had them pegged before they left derry, before they were even together. as mike said later, “your whole ‘we’re gonna be roommates til eddie gets on his feet’ thing didn’t fool anybody” to which eddie says “it fooled ME” because it still took them two months of living together to figure their shit out.

eddie hadnt told myra he was gay, or that he was with richie. he figures it’ll come out sooner or later. so apart from unimportant people they aren’t close to that live near them or work with them, neither has really had their big coming out moment.

“your parents love you, rich,” eddie assures him. “your mom was always so -“ he pauses as a memory hits him. his eyes are wide. “holy fuck.”

“what? my mom was always so what???”

“she knew. holy fuck. she knew.”

“about me?????”

“no,” eddie says, embarrassed. “no i... remember when we were sixteen and i had that big blow out fight with ma? she found out we’d been going to the barrens for years without her knowing? and it turned into that whole, ‘you can’t control me’ thing and i came to your house?”

richie squints. “vaguely??”

eddie sighs. “well. when i got there i was upset and maggie opened the door, asked what was wrong and you know me, i was wheezing and crying i started to say “my mom found out” and before i could finish she was hugging me and patting my head and telling me that... oh my god she told me that ‘the toziers accept you for who you are’ and i said ‘a hypochondriac?’”

richie laughs

“so she looks at me and asks what my mom found out, and i told her, and she just like, stared at me. like she was trying to figure out if i was lying? anyway she sent me upstairs and we played video games and you let me win because you knew i was upset but that i didn’t wanna talk about it.”

richie is still laughing, though his cheeks grow a little warm when he remembers using video games as a method of cheering eddie up. neither of them were good at expressing their emotions with words as teenagers, but they knew how to take out their feelings on the buttons of a controller.

“so you’re telling me my mother is not going to be surprised at all when we show up.”

“probably less surprised than you expected.”

and when they get there eddie is wrong - she is surprised. but not because eddie is a man, because eddie is eddie, and she remembers the way her son looked at him when they were kids, but she never thought she’d get to see him look at him the same way now, 30 years later.

they get through the doorway where went is sitting at the kitchen table. he looks up, already saying a hello to richie, and his eyes widen when they land on eddie. richie’s heart stops for a moment and starts again when his dad’s face goes neutral again and he says, “...shoulda seen this coming, i guess. mags always swore she thought... anyway. good to see you eddie! sincere admiration for you, putting up with this one.” he’s grinning.

eddie squeezes richie’s hand in reassurance because he knows how big this moment was for him. it’s not until that night as they climb into the queen size bed that now sat in richie’s room turned guest room, that eddie found himself tearing up. he thinks about that moment as a kid, maggie telling him this family would accept him. he remembers the momentary guilt he always felt when she hugged him, because he always liked her hugs better than his own mother’s. the way richies family felt like home, like love, and his own felt like poison, like prison.

“hey,” richie says, noticing eddie standing next to the bed, eyes wet and blank look on his face. “what’s up?”

“nothing,” eddie tells him. “guess i just never realized how much i love your family, that’s all.”

he almost expects richie to crack a joke, potentially about eddie and a threesome with maggie and went, but instead richie looks like he’s been given the best news of his life.

“oh. that’s - that’s good. that’s - you know, now that we’re together doesn’t mean... just - you were always part of this family, you know? even when we were just kids. they used to ask me about how you were doing all the time, they worried about you... they - remember? mags used to call you her second son?”

eddie hadnt remembered, but he smiles widely now, only laughing when richies eyes widen in realization and he speaks again.

“oh my god. i can’t believe - her second son? fuck. she really did know.”

‘Black Like Me?: A Tale of a Black Indie Author’

It had come up so many times before.

 I had this idea.

 He would be a gay black man. He would probably be a writer. And I wanted to see what would happen when he decided to do a social experiment:  an interracial relationship. How his friends would react to it. How people would react to it. How he would truly feel about that. How did the other half lives?

 And that…was back when I was in college. And that was a looooooonnnnnnng time ago.

 But yet it kept coming up. And I fiddled with it over the years. It was a short story here. It was a teleplay there. It became my NaNoWrIMo (National Novel Writing Month) project at one point. The idea had stuck with me in one form or another.

 I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I used to write a column for gay and lesbian youth in college. I wrote about what it was like to be a gay black man trying to find his way. A gay black man that was open to the idea of interracial relationship…was an urban shoe myth when I was in college. Laughable even.

 Now…?

 Thoughts of a Lost Friend

 For me…I think it started with my Friend Moore.

 Moore was my close friend I lost this year. It happened at the start of it. In January. However, I didn’t discover this until March as the Coronavirus forced a lockdown. Due to surviving, I really had not given myself the time to mourn the loss. For someone who was so close to me, I knew that if I allowed myself to feel it…I would shatter. Even being told took a lot out of me.

 One of the things that Moore would have liked for me to do was to use my unique perspective to create some interesting stories. Who else other than author E. Lynn Harris (who was also from Arkansas) could own the perspective that I had? Gay AND black. DOUBLE minority.

 But…was that something I was comfortable with?

 Well…no.

 When one was used to being told they were nothing, eventually one started to believe it. I was no different. So in college, just the idea of having a column to express myself was a new thing.

 The adventures of a first date. Talking about what it was like to come out. Dealing with conservative opinions over something as simple as dyeing my hair fire engine red. And of course, writing. I had done it all.

 Then…I took a year off.

 From school. From writing really. I also moved. From there, it was like a domino effect of circumstances. Before I knew it, writing had gotten away from me.

 Into this life…Moore appeared. When I needed advice, he was there. No nonsense with a dirty sense of humor. And no matter what I was doing, he was always pushing me to write. Do what I wanted to do. And when I moved back to San Diego in 2013 and started to embrace my label as an indie writer, he was always mentioning opportunities where he felt I could be writing. He continued to say as a black writer, I had a unique perspective. One that people did not get to hear.

 But…did I? I had written several books. Darkened Soul. Darkchilde. Darkened Soul: Jonathan’s Tale. Darkened Soul: Pieces of a Darkened Puzzle. I had done several novels now. I had mixed genres before it was cool, too. Dystopian with Nosferatu. Horror with futuristic witches. A historical fiction that span time into the 90s…and beyond.

 I realized something.

  I could count on my fingers how many POC (People of Color) I had in my books. There was Mary from Darkened Soul: Jonathan’s Tale, a witch in pre-Civil War Virginia and Jonathan’s henchwoman. There was Jonathan’s servant from that book. Isis in Darkchilde. Main Character Aidan’s best friend Mick. The Nosferatu warrior Osiris in Darkened Soul.

 Hm.

 For a black writer…I sure don’t have a lot of black characters.

 What did that say about me?

So You Say You Have No Voice?

 I never found it.

 For those who keep up with my blogs, I was talking about my flash drive. To refresh, I had a flash drive with a lot of things on them. And one day, I thought I had misplaced it. I had torn my room apart trying to find it. But…no dice. I could only assume that I lost it after searching multiple times AND moving rooms.

 Worse…I had not backed up a lot of my writer stuff.

 Boo. I knew better. I sooo knew better. I thought…well…woulda, shoulda, coulda.

 And then…

  It started by me going through my Yahoo account.

 I was looking for an old short story. THE AUTHORS’ TABLE was going to be releasing an anthology. The anthology, titled Shattered Illusions, centered around a theme: mirrors. And I knew that I had done a short story titled “Voices” that had to do with mirrors. I think. I was not sure since I had not touched it in years. So there I was under my Yahoo account looking for it.

 Wow.

 It had been a long while since I had been through the Drafts section of my Yahoo account. Back in the days when there was very little internet or clouds. Back when I backed up everything often. It was like seeing my writing life flash before my eyes. It reminded me of Phase Two.

 Phase Two. I had mentioned it several times over the last year. Per some advice I read in an article, I actively started to self-publish in 2013. And it’s been fun for the most part. But it was time for the next step. While I planned to keep self-publishing because there were some projects I wanted to keep to myself, I wanted to traditional publish as well. Thus, Phase Two. Of course, I had books ready for that phase, complete with submission packages for potential agents.

 And I shouldn’t have worried.

 I’ve mentioned my books before here and at my Author page at www.facebook.com/writerguygothic. One was the quirky gay novel PICTURES OF A JADED BITCH. The other was my college town with secrets horror novel HE AWAITS… What surprised me about them was I saw diversity in them.

 PICTURES OF A JADED BITCH had a black character as the co-main character. How could Patrick (the other main character) have mischief without his partner in crime Ryan. Heck, there was even a scene where Ryan was dressed up as CRUEL INTENTIONS Kathryn for Halloween. A black villain…who would have thought? Lol. But Ryan allowed me to dive into some of what it was like to be a gay black man in the South and how it was (back then) to be black in the gay community.

 HE AWAITS had a lot of things to touch up. I went in colorblind (or as I called it then the Shonda Rhimes technique) in my writing and it showed. One of my main characters was upper class black girl with a secret. Then there was the black detective assigned to figure out who was behind the killings…and dealing with his past and the death of his wife. There was his sidekick, the Latina examiner. They of course had sparring down pat. There was even a drag queen running around, trying to steal scenes.

 Again, I needn’t had worried about if I was writing more diversity in my works. It looked like I was doing just that. Clearly I wanted to see more of myself out there. Worrying about having a voice. Hm. Seem like it was there. Clearly I knew what I wanted to say deep down.

 Now…what to say? How to say it?

Turning

 It was November again.

 That of course meant that it was NaNoWriMo again.

 Over the last few months, I’ve been writing short stories for various things and submitting them. It turned out “Voices” was not the right fit for Shattered Illusions. So I wrote a new short story. Titled “Kitsune-Tsuki Images”, it was a step in the new direction that I felt that my writing would be going next. Still a bit of a mixed genre of course.

 But with it done, I knew that I would need a challenge. And what was more challenging than working on a new novel?

 There was another NaNoWriMo project that fell by the wayside a few years back. It was about the restaurant industry. After reading SWEETBITTER by Stephanie Danler it had been on my mind again. So I decided to make it my NaNoWriMo project this year. And it was coming along nicely. I was curious to see how diversity would be reflected now.

 Speaking of that…it had resurfaced.

 Again.

 That novel about the gay black writer who wanted to do a social experiment through interracial dating. This time he was a blogger though. A few of the names had been changed. But the general idea was still the same.

  I used to tell other people that when an idea continued to pop up or when a character randomly appeared when you are writing, it was usually a sign. A sign that it was a story that wanted to be told. And until it was told, that idea or character would continue to appear. Usually at times when you were not expecting them.

 It appeared that it was coming along at just the right time. During Lockdown, I kept seeing articles pop up. A documentary was released about black horror cinema. Next year a lot of books about black main characters was coming out. Even reality tv shows I watched (yes, I watch) were going to try to diversify their cast. I guess…I was ahead of the curve. I mean…I was writing dystopia before it was ‘cool.’

 Still…I was nervous. However, it was nice to have a sign from the Universe that perhaps it was time. Time to let that part of my voice be heard.

 I thought of Moore. He had always had faith in me. He knew I had this voice and how much it needed to be heard. That maybe the world would like what I wanted to say. I just wished that he was here to see it.

 But…knowing him he was looking down and seeing how I was growing over this year. And he was probably smiling. He would probably also say I should go flirt or get laid. :D :D

 But…Faith. He had in me. And I needed to have it in myself. So…Phase Two called.

 And my fingers…listened…finally…

   #black #africanamerican #authors #indie #writing #indieauthor #coronavirus #us #interracialrelationship #socialexperiment #fiction #phasetwo #theauthorstable #shatterillusions #diversity #pandemic #glbtq #urbanshoemyth #elynnharris #minorities #cruelintentions #shondarhimes #nanowrimo #sweetbitter #stephaniedanler

I didn’t get pics of it, but Jin-Sang started this conversation with the Move-In speech bubble and a speech bubble of Shonice. I imagine he was having some reservations about moving in together, so he needed Jonathan to be a sounding board. I imagine their conversation went something like this:

(Warning: It’s long. It’s also two bros talking, so expect some mild-to-moderate cursing).

Jin-Sang: Dude, she flipped out over the TV. Can you believe that?  Maybe moving in together was a bad idea. (Jonathan looks at him pointedly, but doesn’t say anything.)  What?

Jonathan: Are you seriously going to do this right now? You’re going to pretend like you don’t know the real reason she’s upset with you?  I gotta be honest with you, bro. Ninety-nine percent of your problems with Shonice, you brought on yourself.  She’s good for you.  So, why are you hellbent on destroying your relationship with her?

Jin-Sang: You’re wrong. Shonice isn’t good for me. She’s too good for me. She’s going to make something of herself. She’ll become a lawyer and probably even Mayor someday. Eventually, she’s going to wake up and realize I’m a liability, and then she’ll kick my ass to the curb.

Jonathan: So, what, you’re trying to speed up the process? (shakes his head) Don’t be ridiculous. If Shonice thought you were a liability, do you think she would have ditched Mark for you? Mark is First Gentleman material.

Jin-Sang: I know, and I’m ex-husband material. I don’t know, man. Maybe she thought I’d be fun to hang with while we’re undergrads. But what happens next year when she starts thinking about her future seriously? Do I look like the type of dude she’ll want to take to her law office functions or political charity dinners? 

Jonathan: Okay, this pity party you’re trying to throw for yourself is not a good look. And it’s pointless. I think you’re exactly the type of dude Shonice would want. You’ve overcome the odds that were stacked against you, and you’re dedicating your life to helping kids in crisis. But that’s all beside the point. Shonice loves you, jackass, not Mark. So, cut the crap.

Jin-Sang: What the hell is your problem, man? Get off my effing dick! 

Jonathan: Not until I make sure you’re going to keep your effing dick away from Ashanti.

Jin-Sang:  Dammit, Jonathan! Why are you bringing this up again? How many times do I have to tell you I’m not sleeping with Ashanti?  I know I let things go too far with her, but I swear to Will I haven’t woohooed with her. And I don’t plan to. 

I know I won’t be earning any Boyfriend of the Year awards, but I would never hurt Shonice like that. (looks Jonathan in the eye while he speaks softly) Dude, she trusted me enough to let me be her first. And I hope to be her only...if I can manage to not eff everything up. (stares off into space, lost in his own thoughts.)

Jonathan:  (feels awkward at his friend’s uncharacteristic display of vulnerability) Okay, I believe you, man. I’m sorry for doubting you.

Jin-Sang: I was the one who pursued Shonice, remember? It wasn’t some love at first sight bullshit for me. I’m not a sappy dope like you. No offense.

Jonathan: Offense completely taken.

Jin-Sang: Sure, I thought Shonice was cute, but I wasn’t thinking about her romantically when we met. She was just a cool chick to hang with.  The more I hung out with her, the more I started feeling things for her. I told her stuff about my past, and she didn’t freak out or judge me.  She was a genuine friend, and I hadn’t had too many of those in my life. By the time I realized my feelings for her were going past friendship, she and Mark were already getting together. If she was just any chick, I would have moved on, but I couldn’t let her go.  With her, I felt like I had a home for the first time.

Jonathan: (grinning and patting Jin-Sang’s shoulder) “She felt like home?” I don’t know, Jin-Sang, that sounds pretty sappy to me.

Jin-Sang: (His vulnerability vanishes and he shrugs Jonathan off.) Man, get the eff outta here! That’s what I get for hanging around you and Eric too Will-damn much. You two sappy-ass clowns are always sitting around talking about your feelings like you’re in some effing tampon commercial.

Jonathan: Try being human for longer than a minute, Jin-Sang. You might like it.

Jin-Sang: (flips Jonathan off) Anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I wasn’t going to roll over and let Mark have her without a fight. I scraped up every penny I had to take her out on dates because she deserved to be treated like a queen. I don’t think that d-bag took her out at all. And what did I get for it? I had to play it cool and watch the girl I was falling in love with flirt with him while inside I was losing my shit every time I saw that Neanderthal touch her. So when she chose me, I was ecstatic. 

But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t flattered that Ashanti came on to me. It was nice being the one pursued for a change. And Ashanti is a quality girl like Shonice, so it meant something coming from her.  Ashanti’s a sweet girl, but Shonice is home. 

Jonathan: Look, I hear you, brother, I really do.  But you need to shut it down with Ashanti before she develops real feelings for you.

Jin-Sang: You don’t think I know that? Believe me, I know how completely effed up this situation is. And I have no one to blame but myself.

But where do you get off lecturing me? I remember a time when you were juggling three chicks.

Jonathan: I’m not proud of that.  But, unlike you, I wasn’t committed to any of them at the time. Even so, it still blew up in my face, and I nearly lost Jerilene over it.

Jin-Sang: So why are you still being a dumbass?

Jonathan: What the hell are you talking about? 

Jin-Sang: I’m talking about how you were so worried about losing Jerilene before, but now you’re allowing her to live with three dudes and go on a worldwide tour without a ring on her finger. What the eff is that all about?

Jonathan: I don’t “allow” Jerilene to do anything. She’s a grown-ass woman and her own person. I’m not worried about her roommates. Tony is gay, Everson is like a brother to her, and she’s never seemed to care for Mark. 

Jin-Sang: Smart woman. Okay, but what about the tour?

Jonathan: Musical theater is Jerilene’s dream. I’d never ask her to choose between her dream and me.

Jin-Sang: I’m not saying that you should stop her from going. I’m just saying make sure you’ve got her on lock before she goes. Jerilene is smoking hot. You’re a fool if you think some other dude isn’t going to try to tap dat--.

Jonathan: (cuts him off) Jin-Sang, if you finish that sentence, I swear to Will, I’m gonna go all Mark on your ass!

Jin-Sang: Chill out, dude! Sorry, I meant no disrespect to your lady.

Jonathan: If some guy wants to go after Jerilene, a ring on her finger isn’t going to stop him.

Jin-Sang (in a quiet voice): But it might stop her. (Jonathan glares at him. Jin-Sang shrugs.) What? You can dish out advice, but you can’t take it?

Jonathan: You’re not giving advice. You’re being an asshole. And, you’re deflecting.

Jerilene knows where I stand. I told her the day we got together that she’s the one for me, and I’m not going anywhere. Nothing’s going to stop me from putting a ring on her finger when we’re both ready. 

Jin-Sang: (shaking his head) Sappy dope.

Jonathan: Offense still taken, asshole.

When Jerilene and I are ready to tie the knot, we’d love to have you and Shonice by our side, so fix things with her, and fix it fast!

Jin-Sang: (rolls his eyes) You’re not going to let up on me, are you? 

Jonathan: I wouldn’t be your best friend if I let you screw this up. 

Jin-Sang: Same. (Stands up to clear the table. As he leans down to pick up Jonathan’s plate, he sings in his friend’s ear) “Cause if you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it.”

Jonathan: (half mutters, half laughs) Jackass.

***

Jonathan’s and Jin-Sang’s conversation bubbles inspired me to write this post. Jin-Sang was being an ass, but in his defense, Jonathan was being self-righteous as he tends to be.  I love that they are secure enough in their friendship that they pull no punches with each other. They may gave gotten heated, but they’re still bros for life. They are trying hard to replace Tony and David as my BroTP.

Just a reminder, Jin-Sang is telling the truth that he and Ashanti did not woohoo. ACR had them kiss, but that was as far as they went. He’s also telling the truth about not wanting to woohoo with her because he hasn’t rolled any wants of that nature. Believe me, if he did, you would have heard me screaming no matter where in the world you live!

I’m waiting for both Jonathan and Jin-Sang to roll the want to put a ring on their respective ladies. Jonathan has been flashing baby thought bubbles, but I haven’t seen any ring thought bubbles. I’ll give them until the time they finish Graduate School. If they haven’t rolled the want by then, I will have to “encourage” things along. 

This post was way out of my comfort zone because I don’t curse around other people (when I’m by myself is a different story). I was a Preacher’s Kid, so I feel guilty just writing the s-word. I don’t think you’ll ever see me write the f-word. That’s why I use eff and effing as a euphemism. You will absolutely never see me use the c-word or n-word. I despise those words and never say them, even if I’m alone. So, I hope this didn’t offend anyone, but I felt I had to go there to be authentic to Jin-Sang’s character. He only swears that heavily around the guys. He’s more polite with Shonice.

Finally, if you’re wondering how Jin-Sang knows the words to a song that wouldn’t be released for another five years, let’s just say Queen Bey defies time and space.

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [so like evening like probably not expecting this] Janis: what you up to tonight Jimmy: What are you about to ask me to do? Janis: Sadly, nothing that exciting Janis: but I need out of this house so if you've got something going on, we can make some #content Jimmy: Find a party and I'll meet you there Janis: Okay Janis: it's been dry so far but not everyone can have decided to be boring all at once Jimmy: have you moved to a new town without telling me? Jimmy: bit rude to make me fake ldr Janis: God, I wish Janis: I need to be several towns over with the noise that being made in this gaff rn Jimmy: They're there and you didn't invite me? That's more than a bit rude, mate 💔 Janis: Oh yeah Janis: sleepover fetish is so real 🤤😍 Jimmy: You know how I feel about you in PJs Jimmy: how dare you Janis: I know you're just gutted you didn't get a chance to see 💀👑 in hers Janis: 💔💔 hurts Jimmy: [brings back the # he started about her only wearing pjs cos I skim re-read that convo post school trip yesterday] Janis: Fine, come over Janis: if you love a throwback that hard Janis: we won't be sharing a room with them though Jimmy: I'd 💕 some enthusiasm Janis: You can have all the snacks they won't eat Jimmy: Has my true love cleared that? Janis: You have to save her from herself Janis: they do it on purpose, it's a binge waiting to happen Jimmy: hot Janis: If you've got a saviour complex Janis: put on your cape, crown of thorns, whatever suits Jimmy: If you've got a short enough memory to forget me saving you from a life threatening injury and nursing you back from the brink Jimmy: suited you then Janis: I remember, if less dramatically and in your favour Janis: but I never said it didn't suit Jimmy: know my audience and how they remember it Jimmy: Give me your address then, Juliet Janis: Hmm, Grace would say you owe her damages, probably Janis: [does, lol soz] Jimmy: she knows where I am if she wants to claim Jimmy: I'll have 'em off you though for taking the piss Janis: Only my parents doing that Janis: I'll pay for an uber if you can cope with the flex Janis: desperate times, like Jimmy: shut up Janis: bit rude Jimmy: bit rude is sending me into the middle of nowt to get 💀🔪🔪 Janis: You can trust me Jimmy: Piss off Janis: 🙂🙂🙂🙂 Jimmy: Stop messing about, rich girl Janis: I ain't, look on street view or some shit, it's a big hippie farmhouse Jimmy: [does so a pause] Jimmy: 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 Janis: I'll get you an uber now, yeah? Janis: before they 💀🔪🔪 me in some sleepover satanic ritual Jimmy: I can't have them fucking with our pact Janis: my hero 💘 Jimmy: there's your first caption sorted Janis: I'll think of something as mushy for you in the meantime Jimmy: do you need owt other than a ✞? I'm at the shop Janis: 🤔 Janis: get a like meal for two I can pretend I cooked Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I assume you've got 🚬s Jimmy: I'll grab drinks though Janis: can do Janis: we have some shit here too though Jimmy: What's #goals when you're not drinking a flat white? Janis: if it's pink and alcoholic Jimmy: [sends her pics of different drinks like rose wine or pink gin or whatever else like ?] Janis: Better go gin Janis: it is an emergency Jimmy: [when that's got mum energy so you're lowkey triggered and don't reply] Janis: [when you think it's 'cos it was too pricey or something so you're like oh no faux pas] Janis: the rose would be fine too, I'm not fussy, as you know by now Jimmy: [thinking about Harry too now but sends a selfie from the uber with the gin secured like everything's fine] Janis: 😍 Janis: should I socials that? Jimmy: Why not? Janis: idk how vain you're feeling Janis: maybe you wanna fix your hair Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: if I weren't I wouldn't be coming to mess up yours Janis: 😏 Janis: [does post it, with all that enthusiasm about him coming that is so fake uhuh] Jimmy: [a cute little back and forth in the comments while he's on route] Janis: [one of them clearly has liked it so now they know they know] Janis: There we go, committed now Jimmy: [love that though cos it gives them an excuse to go harder with it which he would and is] Jimmy: Is that a record or what? Janis: wait 'til you see their creepy faces fogging up the glass Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: no horror films needed Janis: got the setting Janis: even if I 🤞 I'm here, like Jimmy: Promise you'll protect me Janis: 💪 babe Janis: you're safe with me Jimmy: Say it then Janis: What? Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: Oh Janis: I promise I'll protect you from 💀👑 and her underlings Janis: salt circles all ready, like Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: you're feeling generous Janis: have you opened that pink gin without me Jimmy: you ain't feeling any trust towards me Jimmy: 💔🎻🎻💔 Janis: I'm trusting you with my life rn Janis: you've got to fend off the pillows in the night Jimmy: hot Janis: glad you think so Jimmy: oi, be glad you know it Jimmy: that's a #kinkunlocked Janis: Add it to my collection Janis: 🎟🎟🎟🎟 what do I win when I get enough? Jimmy: What do you want? Janis: fuck a 🧸 obvs Jimmy: If that's what you're getting me to this sleepover for, steady on Jimmy: he can buy me a drink first instead of making me bring my own Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: stop Janis: his plans are set and he is gutted Janis: 🚫 sneaking out Jimmy: me an' all, put in loads of groundwork on that trip Jimmy: treating him mean and all that bollocks Janis: 💔🎻🎻💔 Janis: when it was all a cunning ruse to see Mr. Bear again Jimmy: It's my turn to cheat, Joanne Janis: you'll have to take your free pass to the bathroom 'cos we can't not share a room Janis: and I don't need to witness that tah Jimmy: It's alright, I won't kiss him on the mouth Janis: she probably practices on him Janis: it'll be sticky Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Jimmy: I said I never opened the gin not that I ain't drank nowt Janis: such a lightweight Jimmy: Leave it out, pisshead Jimmy: I didn't know you were gonna 🍑📞 Janis: Do you feel cheap? Janis: 'cos that ride ain't, so don't worry boo 😘 Jimmy: I ain't been in an uber before, how could I not feel 🤑🤑 Janis: 🤞 you get here unmurdered and unmolested Janis: driver gonna ruin my night, like Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: that might make my night 💕👴 Janis: obviously, I am here to ruin your night Janis: 🍑📞 shoulda let you know Janis: were you out? Jimmy: With who, my other fake girlfriend? Janis: I can be that jealous Janis: they'd pretend they didn't love that but they so would Jimmy: I'd drink to it Janis: [a picture of 🧸 in the washing machine like 'bout to drown a bitch for you] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: sod nudes, get you a girl who sends 💀💀💀 threats she's about to follow through on Janis: you're so welcome Janis: he'll be date ready and so will you 🍆💦💦 Jimmy: Depends if they've set a trap on the front door Janis: There's no way they'll be ready for gentlemen callers that soon Janis: you could be travelling from the fucking moon and they'd still be hiding Jimmy: Asia's always ready for me, babe Jimmy: The tall one an' all Janis: you're disgusting Jimmy: soz that you thought you were my only starcrossed lover Janis: Of course not Janis: just the idea of those two doing anything beyond 😭 makes me wanna 💀💀💀 obvs Jimmy: I might 🤢🤢🤢 which is 💀👑 ultimate kink so please shut up Janis: Errm they're your lovers, not mine Jimmy: sound more gutted, mate Janis: what is it this time Janis: 😍 for you or them Jimmy: Me obvs Jimmy: keep up, girl Janis: thanks for saying I'm doing a 🥇🏆 job Jimmy: You're not gay, Judith Jimmy: And even if you were, you ain't 🥇 enough to fake 😍 for them Janis: that was very affirming and then rude Janis: but I'll take it Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: I'd offer you a gold star but that's a bit Janis: insulting at this point Jimmy: I never thought you were Janis: ? Jimmy: Why did you reckon I thought you were gay? Janis: 'cos you said I was obsessed with them Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: I said the bollocks they say and do is more important to you than it is to me Janis: You might wanna work on your phrasing then Janis: but idc Jimmy: Alright Janis: but for the record, I only think you're gay for Dan Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: v offensive that I've not affirmed your heterosexuality in his 👀 Jimmy: I'll live Janis: I won't Janis: deeply wounded Jimmy: Tah for the warning so I don't go arse over in the blood Janis: not a very heroic way to die Janis: even Romeo did better Jimmy: He had Bill, I'm holding my own 🖋 Janis: hot Jimmy: 😏 Janis: [tweets that gem] Jimmy: [having another flirt via socials] Janis: [love that for you] Jimmy: Have you got a balcony? Janis: Sadly not Janis: been let down big time there Jimmy: And I couldn't fit the 🎻 in my overnight bag Janis: Just when we needed it most Jimmy: it's a piss poor shout, I'm sorry baby Janis: It's alright, in terms of convincing them we're fucking all night, probably need a less 💔 soundtrack Jimmy: 👍 or 👎 to Romeo + Juliet soundtrack? Janis: yes Janis: of course Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: For an all nighter we've got our Easter Rising one an' all, Tah Dan Janis: He'll be thrilled he's having a hand in our fictional fuckfest, I'm sure Janis: a hand in was the best choice of words there Jimmy: He'll be getting me through it 🍆💦💦 Janis: 🤤 hard same Janis: you were such a cockblock Jimmy: Invite him over, I'll go home Janis: He probably has a curfew Janis: God bless Jimmy: Bringing him into it an' all again Janis: He does reside here Janis: apparently Janis: I've never seen him and he doesn't do any chores but Jimmy: holy 👻 and unholy 👻 boy in your gaff Jimmy: might be a scrap Janis: you'll be buzzin' then Janis: making your night over and over, babe Jimmy: can't stop being #goals you Janis: not an amateur Jimmy: loads of time to prove it in a bit Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: 👍 Janis: You do sleepovers with your mates before? Jimmy: Why? Janis: 🤷 Janis: curious Janis: not as talked about Janis: what do boys do Jimmy: What do you reckon? Jimmy: I'd be gutted to 💔 you Janis: Obviously I'm 💔 that you don't talk about girls and 'practice' kissing Janis: but if you confirm you just play videogames and drink cheap beers on the low, I think I'll survive Jimmy: We do talk about girls but there's no need to practice kissing when you're this 😎🏆 Janis: 😏 okay Janis: not sharing your expertise is selfish of you Jimmy: My ex shared it round plenty, don't worry Jimmy: Half the north knows my tips and tricks Janis: Bummer Janis: No thinking I'm special then, I hear you Jimmy: I can't stop you thinking owt Janis: It's alright, I'm specials in every other way Jimmy: Bighead strikes again Janis: yeah, try and deny it, dickhead Jimmy: That you think you're special? Janis: You know what I meant Janis: you 🙊 me 🙉 Jimmy: Oi I'm 🦍 Jimmy: Ask my man Janis: You're SO hench, babe Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: I'm SO lucky Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: You picked a film for us to not watch yet? Janis: I'm debating what the worst romcom of all time is Jimmy: [sends her a little list because he's had a nightmare girlfriend] Jimmy: off the top of my head Janis: kink unlocked Janis: that's worse than any of the others so far, God Janis: deviant Jimmy: Piss off Janis: No wonder they all love you Jimmy: They ain't unlocked any of my kinks, real or fake Janis: Are you sure? Janis: they're accomplished stalkers if fuck all else, like Jimmy: I don't have a tinder with 'em listed Jimmy: What are they gonna stalk? Janis: Yo 🧠 Janis: vampire style Jimmy: You're the only 🧛 I've met Janis: 😏 Janis: and I'd do it again Janis: were I not bound to protect you Jimmy: Crack on Jimmy: If we're meant to be pulling a 💕 all nighter you'll have to do something Janis: If we're convincing enough, they'll spread it 'fore us Janis: spare your precious skin Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: [is extra on socials again for the final time like see how convincing I am] Janis: I know it didn't hurt that bad, baby Jimmy: Do you? Janis: Did it? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: That's not fair Janis: if I Mike Tyson'd you you have to say Jimmy: I'll tell you in my oscar speech Janis: You'll be thanking me then Janis: ha, knew you loved it Jimmy: for the adversity Jimmy: tah Janis: pisstake Jimmy: you Janis: ☝ boy Jimmy: Why are you trying to truth or dare me before I'm in the door? Calm it down, Joan Janis: Party don't start 'til you walk in? Janis: Psh Jimmy: I need an audience and a stage, Bill can relate Janis: Duh Janis: what it's all about Jimmy: #whenshegetsyou Janis: we're a step away from a contract Jimmy: 🩸🖋💌 Janis: trying to tempt me with some bloodletting Janis: 😳 is it hot in here Jimmy: I wanna get my 🎟🎟🎟🎟🎟 too Janis: you already knew that one Janis: #eargate Jimmy: Yeah but now you're in the mood Jimmy: might let loads slip Janis: You'll have to work harder than this Jimmy: [🔥 sext because why not] Janis: did your driver co-write that or Jimmy: You can ask him when you pay him, that won't be weird Janis: just wondering where the audience is Jimmy: Post it if you wanna find them, not gonna be far away Janis: [does not] Janis: I'm not going to make you meet my parents, by the way Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Should be a rule that Jimmy: I'd bleed to keep you away from mine Janis: Now you're just trying to be hot Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: #effortless Janis: you better not be in that car Janis: not paying your cleaning bill too Jimmy: It's behind the ear you didn't take off Jimmy: We're alright Janis: Can't say I'm not fair 😏 Jimmy: Not when anyone's about Janis: I know the audience too Jimmy: Be a long night if you don't Janis: shut up Janis: they'll crash before we do anyway Janis: then you can actually do what you want Jimmy: I know you wanna talk about girls and play videogames like a northern lad Jimmy: 🥧🥔🍺 weren't the meal deal though 💔 Janis: 🖕 Janis: oh no, however will I cope Jimmy: I dunno, mate Jimmy: I'll have to double up on the heroics, me Janis: you're allowed to sleep, you know Janis: overtime ain't an all-nighter too Jimmy: might do but I only chucked the one bottle in my basket Janis: we've got some great sleeping pills Janis: dessert 💕 Jimmy: You're alright Janis: 🤷 Janis: not on commission Jimmy: You must know the audience if you're trying to knock me out this hard Janis: How long can we be in each other's company before you try to seriously injure me Janis: nothing but self-preservation here Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I know my own 💪🏆 Janis: Doing it on purpose don't make it no better Janis: 'less I asked for it, obvs Jimmy: Are you? Jimmy: 'Cause if that's a #kinkunlocked I'll have my 🎟 Janis: 🙊 Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: 💀👑 is definitely a freak Janis: probably just encourage her to keep 👀 Jimmy: 🍿 or 📹? Janis: cotton balls soaked in 0cal 'butter' spray Jimmy: 😋😋😋 Janis: though if she were to 📹 wouldn't be the first time Janis: still getting tagged 🙄 Jimmy: #same Janis: hmm, at least your tits aren't low-key out Jimmy: I'll get 'em out tonight Jimmy: Only fair Janis: 😂 Janis: clearly dying to anyway Jimmy: They're 🥇 I gotta keep it #goals Janis: this town ain't big enough for both our heads Jimmy: It's alright, I ain't gonna be here long Janis: Nah? Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: Yeah, well convincing that one Jimmy: Not on the clock yet Janis: 🍀 you Jimmy: 💀👑 got you plaiting or 💅? Either way you're gonna need some glue Janis: not touching her without gloves Janis: one of your girlfriends is asking about you Jimmy: Duh we'd get caught for the 🔪🔪💀 before we had chance to piss off anywhere Jimmy: Which one? Janis: you're pissing off anyway, I'll have to live, murder and die here Janis: now you're interested Jimmy: Oh come on, baby, where I go, you go 💕 Janis: you can drop me off the first place that isn't here Jimmy: 👌 Janis: kink unlocked Janis: have a 🎟 Jimmy: Common sense ain't one Janis: don't tell me what my kinks are and aren't, boy Janis: you're not in control like that Jimmy: I'm 👮🚔 remember Jimmy: might be a kink division Janis: you are ridiculous Janis: and garda ain't telling me nothing Jimmy: I ain't a paddy, law's different up North, that'll be why it's grim Janis: I've seen the procedurals, mate Janis: you aren't old and grizzled enough to be the maverick Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: You'll make the driver 😳 Janis: 🤞 you crash, of course Jimmy: Not unless it's right outside yours and you can throw yourself in front as we do Jimmy: 💀💀💀 pact not 👻 me and widow you Janis: but you love black Janis: but fine, I'll throw myself on the wreckage Jimmy: on me, give a shit what you wear, hun Janis: fine, I'll go play dress up with them Janis: good luck faking 😍 then Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: 1. PJs or I ain't coming in Jimmy: 2. maybe I wanna be pretty an' all, bit rude not to wait for the love of your life Jimmy: 3. 🥇 or nowt Janis: 1. admit you care more Janis: 2. you're pretty enough, sweetheart Janis: 3. 💪 Jimmy: More than what? Janis: just more than you protesting Jimmy: About what? Janis: that you don't give a shit what I wear Janis: you started a # Jimmy: Mr Lucas gives a shit what you wear, I just fake it Janis: real mvp Janis: he'd be way more buzzing my parents were out Jimmy: probably a bit late to invite him Jimmy: I reckon I'm here near enough Janis: know how you feel about threesomes Janis: I'll come find you Jimmy: first off, it were you who 🚫 my proposition for us and that dickhead of yours to have one Jimmy: second, you better had, you did 🤞 Janis: Was not Janis: and he's not MY dickhead, just a dickhead, don't put that on me Janis: [meeting him dramatically 'cos they watching, turning her eyes up to the window so he can see] Jimmy: [we know he's gonna go with it and we know why so] Janis: [we all know you're both grateful for an excuse to kiss each other on sight] Jimmy: [pick her up boy even though you'll have to put down what you're carrying #priorities] Janis: [when y'all would NEVER let a man lmao] Jimmy: [we all know y'all are lowkey like DON'T TOUCH ME] Janis: [tbf a boy was like i can pick you up when i was like 13 and i was like you can't and then he tried and was like oh you're heavy rude you're just weak] Jimmy: [I'm so 😡] Janis: [don't need that potential trigger in your life ladies] Jimmy: [I'm dying though like get inside you two, there's never any need to go as hard or long as you do] Janis: [so method lol] Jimmy: [Gotta like throw the food at her as soon as you're inside because a second has passed without being rude and god forbid] Janis: [just judging his choices like hmm 'cos same] Jimmy: [😒 like oi as if he's not just been rude but opening the gin even before there's glasses #calm down] Janis: [raising a brow but not saying anything 'cos you're like yeah, fair, pointing him over to wherever the glasses are so you can fake cook this meal real quick] Jimmy: [raising his own like oh you fancy as if he was just gonna swig it from the bottle forever but pours some into her mouth first because so needed and shamelessly flirty all the time before going to sort glasses like nothing even happened okay] Janis: ['have some decorum, boy' 😏 until he does that then you're like 😳 'tryna get me drunk too' tutting dramatically] Jimmy: [just shakes his head also 😏 at the words and the tuts 'Don't worry, I know, wouldn't be very goals, that'] Janis: [shrugs 'depends'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I know it would be for you but we don't set the goals] Janis: [looking back 'til the microwave pings and brings you back 'round 'you've seen 'em at parties, right pissheads'] Jimmy: [Shrugs 'You're a lightweight, and we've got content to create' realises that rhymes and does a little flourish in the air like he's writing with a pen cos poet and nerd] Janis: [when you can't help but lol, even though you're trying to 🙄 is creating #content already and making this meal look #aesthetic and #goals for the 'gram before pushing a plate at him like there you go] Jimmy: [control your 😍 over her cute laugh by acting like that food is so interesting and important] Janis: [but don't control it too hard 'cos cringe couples always take pics of each other eating so get ready for your closeup boy] Jimmy: [that's tea and you know they are seeing/interacting with all this nonsense so you gotta go for it] Janis: [hence you know to stay out the kitchen but you won't, like what you need ladies] Jimmy: [thank god they'd hear them coming so he can be like come sit on my lap for a sec as if that's where she's been the whole time, just not practical, I'd throw food all over you by accident boo] Janis: [again, doing things y'all would never do, and we know you two love this so] Jimmy: [like I'mma just feed you something girl let's see how hard we can trigger Mia] Janis: [how you don't lol, just permanent 😏 like living your best life] Jimmy: [we've only just begun to live] Janis: [classic 'oh you've got something here-' and shamelessly caressing his face] Jimmy: [shameless makeout sesh ensues because if you stay now gals you're the ones making it weird] Janis: [clearly overstaying your welcome for slightly too long before making a comment and running off giggling like you're 12] Jimmy: [let you go 🚬 once they're gone boy cos longest uber ride ever] Janis: [truly, the struggle is so real, wait 'til we make you go on the bus that goes all 'round the houses lol] Jimmy: [hasn't invited her cos we back to being rude obvs] Janis: [so charming lol, on the sofa like 😒] Jimmy: [when you're ages and we know it's because you always need all the moments after kissing her] Janis: you want me to pay for 🚬 or what Jimmy: Save the flex for one that's more #relatable to the fans Janis: I asked if you'd got 'em, could've warned me if I weren't getting none, like Jimmy: Come here Janis: You can save it for me Janis: take breaks in shifts Janis: professional Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👌 Janis: soz, btw Jimmy: For what? Janis: not brushing my teeth Janis: know its a big pet peeve Jimmy: used to how minging you are by now, Josephine Janis: if you gave some warning Janis: face hugger Jimmy: soz I can't always hear 💀👑's bones creaking, bit deaf, me Jimmy: might be the one ear Jimmy: and anyway it depends Janis: It's romantic, you wanna be a great artiste, don't you Janis: and what does it depend on then Jimmy: Why would I wanna be owt of the sort? Jimmy: It depends what lads you've had round before me, what else? Janis: get bitches get money Janis: obvs Janis: I was talking about being mid-dinner, don't act like you didn't know Jimmy: 👌 Janis: will ask about getting that revolving door installed though Janis: tah for the reminder Jimmy: Gracie'll be 👍 when you do Janis: yeah Janis: whole house full of slags, like Jimmy: you do live in the middle of nowt, gotta have something to do Janis: decent excuse Jimmy: only so much horse riding even a rich girl can do Janis: one in the same if you're that kind of rich girl Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: obvs Janis: have to have one to pay for the other Janis: basic maths Jimmy: Alright 🤓 Janis: giving you 💰 tips for nothing here Jimmy: can't take it with me Janis: why not Jimmy: What do you mean? Jimmy: I reckon hell's got a free bar in the very least Janis: Optimistic Janis: I've at least heard that passage, like Janis: you'd be so lucky Jimmy: if you want the pessimistic angle, it'll rot in the ground Jimmy: got that covered Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [comes back in cos can't be out there forever] Janis: [puts hand out like gimme 'cos obvs you need to leave immediately] Jimmy: [does but also gives her look like bit rude] Janis: [a look like you started it but still saying thanks, not a heathen] Jimmy: [chucks her his jacket/hoodie or whatever even though it's april] Janis: ['good thinking' as she walks out the door] Jimmy: [drink your gin boy] Janis: [clearly taking a cute selfie in that, minus cigarette] Jimmy: [be extra fake to hide how good you think she actually looks please] Janis: [ah the fakery of it all this is fine lollol] Jimmy: [I'm gonna give her a bit then have him come out like he DESPERATELY needs something from his pocket suddenly 1. what even would that be boy 2. no you don't 3. you also don't need to be so hot about it like reaching over her and all that jazz] Janis: [just a LOOK] Jimmy: [when your plan was to just walk away but of course you have to give her a look back] Janis: [offering out the 🚬 like he didn't just have his own, but then doing the sexy blowback moment when he's like okay] Jimmy: [he's just dying now, aren't we all, like didn't expect that did you bitch] Janis: [definition of 😏] Jimmy: [walk away Jimothy you're in too deep] Jimmy: [but I like to imagine he walks into one of the flat whites when he's all flustered, feed that narrative even by accident lads] Janis: [joy of joys, poor boy lol] Janis: you can pick a film Janis: one you might actually wanna watch then one to switch back to Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: 👍 Janis: Brb, I'll go pretend to do what girls do Janis: [comes in but goes upstairs] Jimmy: [we all know he's watching her go, boy be careful] Janis: [we all throwing all the glances like this ain't a dangerous game] Jimmy: [take the time she's upstairs to calm down please and thank you sir] Janis: [we out here brushing out teeth obvs] Jimmy: [so soz Janis but at least being in there can give you the idea for bathgate] Janis: [🔥💡] Jimmy: [what could possibly go wrong like] Janis: [hohahaha] Jimmy: [sending her some of his fave comments from what they've posted so far cos shady bitch] Janis: [likewise 'cos likewise] Janis: wish Dan would comment though Janis: what's he up to Jimmy: 💔💔 Hang on Jimmy: [has a stalk and likewise sends her his fave things he finds] Janis: awh Janis: what a man Jimmy: that his missus? Jimmy: 🔪🔪 Janis: so jealous Janis: learn to be fake happy Jimmy: in a bit, gotta go arrange a 🥇 threesome Jimmy: be really happy after Janis: wait 'til you're off the clock Janis: do whatever you want then Jimmy: UGH Janis: it's mutual Jimmy: 🤞 that's what Dan's girlfriend'll say Janis: she's dating Dan Janis: her lack of sense and taste is obvious and in your favour, congrats Jimmy: I KNOW HE'S SOOOOOOOO 🥇👑😍🏆💪 Jimmy: tah for the #hype babes Jimmy: I reckon now I can 🎯 Janis: [comes down like let's get this over with] Jimmy: [puts on whatever he can bear to watch cos even the flat whites ain't gonna appear that quick] Janis: [and sitting as far apart as you can without it being impossible to be all over each other in 5 secs when needed] Jimmy: [does top up her drink for her though cos isn't as rude as he pretends to be] Janis: [cheers and drinks that too fast] Jimmy: [he's gone the other way and barely touched his because he's like I'm clearly too drunk rn after what happened with the blowbacks] Janis: [ah the confusion and awkwardness] Jimmy: [just on his phone even though he should wanna watch this since he picked it lol] Janis: [getting herself more drink that isn't gin] Jimmy: [wise move babe] Janis: [although mixing perhaps isn't, but rude like that and it isn't as if you've hung with anyone in time now nevermind the clusterfuck of what is this] Jimmy: [Christ knows what he had to drink before he got here so likewise a dickhead and likewise antisocial we know] Janis: [can't leave this forever though have some of 'em run through like we need drinks or whatever they're coming up with, so you gotta low-key launch yourself at him and get into some kind of snuggle position like oh hey but also not hey, only 😍 for him soz] Jimmy: [he changed it to a rom-com cos good reflexes though] Janis: [offering them the gin like I'm such a nice person and I'm so good here 'cos that'll piss Mia off] Jimmy: [when you have to snuggle her extra hard cos you're trying not to lol] Janis: [tickling him 'cos PDA comes in so many forms why are you just watching this lmao] Jimmy: [when he'd be so mad about it but all he can do rn is playfight cos gotta be 😍] Janis: [when you know it so now you're loling too with secret 😏 that only he gonna pick up on] Jimmy: [gotta exploit wherever she's most ticklish like 😏] Janis: [regrets, you have none, even though you're dying] Jimmy: [just having fun working out all the bae's ticklish places like this is so casual] Janis: [all 'oh my god, stop' in that fake ass don't stop way] Jimmy: ['make me' cos we all know what that means haha] Janis: [mmmmmakeout time, take your cue to leave] Jimmy: [when you're so into it you don't notice that they've left for a bit] Janis: [always think that like how you breaking this up just like, anyway] Jimmy: [honestly forever going 0-1000 and back again like this is fine] Janis: [no wonder you going cray] Jimmy: [literally, unrelated but did Mia take that gin or nah? lol] Janis: [I feel like Asia took it like yay and Mia will tell her off lmao] Jimmy: [that's real af so I second it and Grace is gonna drink it cos they are doing her head in] Janis: [when you need to get drunk to enjoy your friend's company, happy days] Jimmy: [when your friends are so obsessed with your sister and her man though] Janis: [soz it's a moment babe] Jimmy: [just you wait til bathgate gals] Janis: [oh lordy] Janis: what else do girls like them like then Janis: 'cos you got to admit, it's a laugh getting to 'em and winding them up Jimmy: [a really cute concentration face while he's thinking] Jimmy: Facemasks? Janis: [hiding your 😍 by pulling a pisstakey face] Janis: alright, but I ain't putting any of the weird shit on they do Janis: especially if I end up looking as rough as them Jimmy: Hang on, I'll go ask Gracie if she's got any of those bollocks sheet ones everyone 📷 themselves in Jimmy: What animal do you wanna be? Janis: 🤔 are you serious Jimmy: 🙀 it is then? Alright, I'll ask Jimmy: [Gets up and heads towards the stairs] Janis: you don't even know what room is hers Jimmy: I'll follow the 😱😱😱 Jimmy: [and is] Janis: your ⚰ Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'll chill here and ponder my inevitable grief-fuelled suicide Jimmy: hot Janis: soz you won't be around to 👀 Jimmy: 👻 Janis: a 👻 with a threesome to plan Jimmy: I won't be able to touch nowt so I might as well 👀 you 🔪⚰ Janis: love being 2nd choice Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Dan's missus is 🥈 you're 🥉 my dear Janis: fuck off and hurry up Jimmy: [Comes back with the masks like 😏 and of course puts hers on her even though she easily could herself but gotta have that whole MOMENT of him getting her hair out of the way first cos shamelessly loves touching it] Janis: [when this is somehow more intimate than anything you've done so far so you're like where do I put my eyes] Jimmy: [they're really sticky though and he isn't expecting it so he's like wtf and grossed out but then amused at himself and it's so cute bye] Janis: [yeah they're gross she's probably horrified so that'll break the tension just like what the fuck but lol too] Jimmy: [he's genuinely smiling and loling for the first time since god knows when] Janis: [when he's so cute you have to slap this ridiculous on his face fast] Jimmy: [what animals should they be? I think he should be a 🐼 cos lol] Janis: [that's a popular one, we can say there was a 🐱 'cos why not] Jimmy: [yass take your nerdy selfies lads] Janis: [when they'd still look cute too, arseholes] Jimmy: [I'm as fuming about that as Grace would be that he came to her room when she's been hiding all night] Janis: [things are only gonna get worse soz gurl] Janis: this is a great poker face Janis: [says something #shocking and ridiculous with the dead face it gives you to prove the point] Jimmy: [when you lol and yours slips cos they do and they are crap but you take it off and throw it at her anyway cos it's wet and gross and you hate it] Jimmy: decent weapon an' all Janis: [throwing it right back like excuse me] Janis: you're a child Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: if you wanna go home, phones over there, baby Janis: [throws the masks in the direction of like an animal] Jimmy: [moves like he's gonna get up and go but nudges her playfully instead like what's next] Janis: [ponders seriously] Janis: I need to get this gunk off me Janis: [pulls him up like follow me, does not need to be hand-holding but are going upstairs so you know, just in case] Jimmy: [love it and so does he] Janis: [I say get in that bathroom] Jimmy: [gets in the bath like he did at the party just watching her sort her face out] Janis: [looking at him via the mirror like what are you doing but amused not annoyed] Jimmy: [hits her with a 'What?' like he's not shamelessly looking at her] Janis: [nods like 'you want me to run that or?'] Jimmy: [just reclining in there like a nerd and shrugs] Janis: [shakes her head and comes over, acts like she's leaning over to turn the shower on, but doesn't and instead gets in the other end like, see why you like it so much] Jimmy: [does a hand movement like he's splashing her with imaginary water cos oi] Janis: ['nerd' 😏 but reclining and putting her feet in her lap like don't mind me] Janis: his* Jimmy: [just being soft instead doing the this little pig went to market thing to her toes quietly like it's meant to be under his breath but it's not his own funny version probably cos he is a nerd] Janis: [just letting this be even though being soft freaks you the fuck out on the low 'you're so weird, new kid' under her own but nudging him just in case he's forgotten that that's a ref and not a massive drag] Jimmy: [shakes his head like ah good times cos he obvs remembers 'feels like ages ago that'] Janis: ['yeah' and pausing 'cos truly, so much going down in such a short space of time 'didn't think you'd still be here- not in my bath, like'] Jimmy: [nods cos same] Janis: [when you feel the mood shift so you're like away from that topic 'we'll always have the playlist'] Jimmy: [he obvs puts it on cos that bitch but quietly so Mia and Co don't hear it over their music or film or whatever and judge] Janis: [just like what kinda mood music lol, just grooving lowkey 'well worth the A'] Jimmy: [😍 cos I can't stop him if she's gonna be that much of a babe] Janis: [hitting him back with a 'what?' but in a challenging kinda way] Jimmy: [getting out of the tub like he's just remembered he's still got that mask residue on his face which true but like you don't have to literally deal with it this second] Janis: [just stretching out and back, closing her eyes] Jimmy: [taking his t-shirt off cos he said he'd get his tits out and also it means he can throw it at her playfully before washing his face] Janis: [shook and then 😠 'it stinks' and throwing it back like okay it so clearly doesn't babe] Jimmy: [😏 to hide the fact you're lowkey worried that you do smell like oh no and because you're awks and you don't want her to know, pulling her up to sit on the edge of the bath so you can take a selfie kissing her whilst topless for the fans because that's as far as your contribution to bathgate has got so far] Jimmy: [but then you stop to make sure the bath looks aesthetic and generally faff like she did with the food earlier so excuse to go again for the re-do] Janis: [taking it and reposting it on your story with 😍 over his nips] Jimmy: [🙄 even though you're actually amused cos can't let that show] Janis: ['you wanna be x-rated?' at the 🙄] Jimmy: [Gives her a look like well that depends what you mean even though he knows she ain't suggesting they get x-rated 'cause cheeky like that] Janis: [winks but then gets off of the edge of the bath, going through wherever all the bath lotions and potions are kept 'run it hot, lover boy'] Jimmy: [raises an eyebrow but obviously does and draws the infamous love heart with JJ inside in the steam on the mirror] Janis: [bringing over an armful of shit and picking a bottle and pouring a stupid amount in, looking at him like, fill your boots] Jimmy: [when you have fun putting loads of shit in like when you're a kid and you make potions] Janis: [Grace gon' be fuming again, so soz but not really, when there's an aesthetic amount of bubbles and colour going on, taking a deep breath and hoping you did that quiet enough as you take your clothes off like in we get] Jimmy: [puts loud music on so you can pretend you're busy with that not 👀 at her] Janis: [at least there's sooo many bubbles to artfully place lol this is fine this is normal] Jimmy: [when you wanna be like are you sure because you're a soft good boy but you also don't wanna ask because it's gotta be all so fake and you don't care so you're just lowkey taking an age outside that tub pretending it's because you're getting the lighting and angles right and bollocks like that] Janis: [just letting him 'cos not trying to be a pushy bitch but also like, well I've done it now boy so 'you can leave your pants on' but in a tone of, again, I haven't so] Jimmy: [well we know he won't and doesn't cos there's a challenge there and they are always accepted] Janis: [when you don't wanna 👀 but also don't wanna make a massive point of turning away 'cos that's not chill and idgaf attitude so you focus on looking at his face and then instantly regret that 'cos eye contact like oh, we doing this] Jimmy: [such intense eye contact being maintained like okay we just eye fucking rn this is fine] Janis: [when anything and everything you could possibly say rn sounds like double entendre, like is it hot enough for you etc, so you just settle for 'okay?'] Jimmy: [can only nod because likewise can't trust himself to speak atm] Janis: [taking a picture of the bath setup to be like #boydonegood about it but you know you're just buying time before the actual show of it all] Jimmy: [letting that happen because not gonna be a dick about it] Janis: ['you're the photographer, how do we get the best shot?'] Jimmy: [you move boy because we don't need to force her to and have a bubble nip slip when we've only just begun but like obvs position her however you do need to because we're obvs taking this very seriously here and the cute concentration face is back] Janis: [just shamelessly watching him work, but definitely moving closer than he positioned you like is this okay, testing those limits honey] Jimmy: [just says 'Alright' like are you asking her as a question or are you saying you are or are you like we're ready, what's the truth Jimothy] Janis: ['is it?'] Jimmy: ['isn't it?' Boy you're so annoying] Janis: [splashes him, using the water to mess up his hair appropriately 'just take the photo then'] Jimmy: [when you're gonna be like 😒 oi but that's actually a good idea when it clicks what she's doing and you take the shameless excuse to be like 'hang on' and run your wet hands through her hair too and we all see you taking your time with that] Janis: [just not breathing 'til he's done 'how do we look?' and a LOOK 'cos you can see how he looks] Jimmy: ['you look-' only breaking that LOOK to stare at her lips honey 'goals, obvs' eventually gets said because focus boy but it's so not what he was gonna say goodbye] Janis: [when you're so frustrated the 'come on then' comes out so easily] Jimmy: [taking so many pics from so many different angles and kissing her in so many different ways like do you need to be this extra, the answer is no but also yes] Janis: [when you're going in, like you're ever uploading more than one of these each like yes, we need all these options] Jimmy: [like we all know at certain points the camera ain't even taking pics but they haven't noticed/ do not care] Janis: [we all know with the amount of shit you put in its gonna be slippery as hell so gonna allow you to legit slip further onto him without it being a shameless oopsies moment] Jimmy: [add to that how good it would feel to not just be stopping and starting like you've had to all night #dangerous] Janis: [when the pretense of making noise for them is so thin at this point like okay] Jimmy: [regretting putting that loud music on now aren't you boy because yeah good luck not making all the sounds ever rn that only she can hear] Janis: [we know no one is stopping to turn it down rn] Jimmy: [they wouldn't stop if the bath fell through the ceiling rn lol] Janis: [true that, just gently pulling him down so he's laying on her like are you even in frame] Jimmy: [we know he's not and nobody's bothered god bless] Janis: [how far are we letting this go/how do we stop 'em lol] Jimmy: [that's what I'm thinking cos like someone could knock on the bathroom door like excuse you but that might just encourage them more depending on who they think it is] Jimmy: [maybe one of them actually could slip because actually perilous?] Janis: [orrr what if they didn't actually lock the door 'cos when you're faking it'd be bants if they walked in but now it ain't so you'll both be mad] Jimmy: [AMAZING we simply must] Janis: [💀#2 enter] Jimmy: [when you literally can't get out of that bath regardless of what happens because too turned on and even if you grab a towel that's not really gonna hide anything so you're just like ...........] Janis: [at least you can take the lead like get the fuck out bitch Jimmy: [he'd be actually shook though cos like this early on there's a part of him that still doesn't realise how far the flat whites are willing to take shit but then oh hey girl] Janis: [they're just so immature truly, like when Liv was like WE'RE NOT IN YEAR 11 ANYMORE' to Mini lmao like y'all are but still, we're mature laydeez now] Jimmy: [honestly, Grace and Janis would have a reason to be stuck cos their sister died when they were 12, what's y'alls] Janis: [#eatingdisordersquad Jimmy: [And Mia's weird daddy's girl energy ew] Janis: [this is why y'all are only friends with each other, lordy] Jimmy: [I'm intrigued to know what Ava thinks because she didn't exist before and like] Janis: [she'd think they were really tragic and cringe but it's not like she has to hang with them longer than the odd event like Grace's bdays so she wouldn't be like umm your friends] Jimmy: [poor Grace in a toxic relationship with someone for a decade that she doesn't even get to bang] Janis: [come get your toxic friend 'fore she get drowned lmao] Jimmy: [you know Mia would cos can't resist] Janis: [well that's that ruined, just getting out towels and taking one so he can get dried in some semblance of privacy, like] Jimmy: [the levels of fuming] Janis: [some time] Janis: my room is upstairs again Jimmy: 👌 Janis: but if you wanna go Janis: get that Jimmy: And let 💀👑 win? Piss off Jimmy: You're the 🙀 Janis: How am I Jimmy: You scare easily, we worked that out ages ago Janis: Bollocks, you take the piss and have done for ages Jimmy: How do I? Janis: not scared of anything Janis: least of all 💀s Jimmy: Easy to 🗨 Janis: Not as easy to live Janis: but I manage Jimmy: Can you manage to think of owt that'll pay her back or what? Jimmy: You said they'll crash before us Janis: I'm thinking Janis: sure could make her piss herself or shave off her eyebrows but not 12 and it needs to be something better Jimmy: Duh Janis: Clearly not that duh Janis: can't blame 'em for lacking the mental capacities I guess but still will Jimmy: Can't think of nowt when you're starving to 💀💀💀 Jimmy: #relatable Janis: you're thinking of your stomach rn Jimmy: Yeah? Janis: so fat Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: convention down the hall, go learn some tips Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Hope you're dressed this time Jimmy: They don't so I obvs am Janis: Exactly Janis: probably time for more desperate measures Janis: restraining orders all 'round Jimmy: When should I date yours for, Jules? Jimmy: About a week from now or? Janis: Suits me Janis: works both ways Jimmy: 👍 Janis: where are you actually Janis: it's sinister creepin' about like a 👻 Jimmy: ? Janis: I like to know where everyone is Janis: know where to avoid Janis: don't need repeats Jimmy: I'm outside Jimmy: Avoid the 🚬☁ Janis: Will do Janis: add it to the score I'm keeping though Jimmy: Or just keep up Janis: I'm avoiding your secondhand smoke Janis: put it behind your ear, I'll find it Jimmy: Like I said 🙀 you Jimmy: And you're meant to inhale not bite down Jimmy: so I probably won't put it there Janis: Now who's the pussy Janis: and you told me to Janis: not standing the opposite end of the garden like an overgrown gnome Jimmy: still you then Jimmy: dark's nowt to be scared of, babe Janis: stop saying I'm scared, dickhead Janis: I'm just not a smoker Jimmy: since when, dickhead? Janis: since forever Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: I'm a convincing fake, I know Janis: nothing real about me, remember? Jimmy: 🙄👏🏆 Janis: not that impressive a quote, honestly Janis: you've said better Jimmy: You've done better Janis: 💔 Janis: so sorry Jimmy: I'll be here with the orchestra lads Jimmy: [sends her a little vid of him doing a 🎻 mime] Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: keep that one between us Janis: dunno what that'd imply about the last post but nothing good Jimmy: ❌ my 💘 Janis: deflate your ego more like Janis: can't have you walking 'round like pinhead Jimmy: What ego? Janis: 🙊 Jimmy: Fake dating you, aren't I? Janis: Yeah Janis: you're so lucky Jimmy: Desperate more like Janis: That's obvious Jimmy: Gotta keep it #goals baby Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: can't get enough ever, me Janis: Already said you're fat Janis: preferences in common with them is no surprise to me Jimmy: actually 💔 Jimmy: will have to go home for a 😭😭 Janis: Enjoy Janis: 👋 Jimmy: Enjoy your 🚬 oh wait nah Jimmy: Enjoy the IOU Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: Like you're the only boy with bad habits and a lighter Jimmy: Cavemen invented 🔥 so you'll be grand 🍀 girl Jimmy: if you 🍑📞 party boy now I can kick his uber soon as he gets out, job done Janis: I wanna be disappointed twice in one day like you wanna hang 'round this place Jimmy: so crack on Janis: Funny Jimmy: the joke is I'm still waiting for you to think up a proper idea to piss off them lot Jimmy: sort it out Janis: night's still young Janis: and where's your idea Jimmy: I get it, I look half decent for 45, stop flirting with me and concentrate Janis: What ego? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: I don't know Janis: the problem is everything pisses them off Janis: Grace cries at the drop of a hat, for fuck's sake Janis: it's too easy Jimmy: Alright, what if we give 'em something they really want instead Janis: Self-esteem and good hair? Jimmy: Something they reckon they want but they don't want from us Jimmy: Your gin trick but amplified Jimmy: 💀💀💀 with 💕 Janis: I see what you're saying Janis: bit too soon to hand out invites to the fake wedding Janis: but if you can stomach it, we can give them the attention they're after Jimmy: 🥇 me Jimmy: Nowt I can't handle Jimmy: Or stomach 'cause I'm obvs such a fat git Janis: if the XXL fits Janis: right, let's go invite ourselves to the sleepover, then 🤢 Jimmy: But it looks better on you, girl 💕 Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: you just wanna get your tits out again Jimmy: for you 😘 Janis: I'm sure I won't be able to keep my hands off you, covered titties and company be damned Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: What if this backfires? Jimmy: might reckon I'm bored of you and wanna swap you for my truest love Jimmy: bit too real that Janis: You'll have to resist flirting with them, obviously Janis: but you aren't any good at it so I doubt that'll be an issue Janis: just try not to embarrass yourself Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I'm just saying if we're so 💕😍😘 why are we getting involved in their bollocks? Janis: Because, I'm such a nice person, and we're so sorry and so embarrassed about earlier? Jimmy: make it at least make fake sense, Jasmine Jimmy: But alright Janis: I don't wanna fuck any of them Janis: sorry 'bout it Janis: I don't know how else you reckon we can 💀💀💀 with 💕 Janis: soz you think you saw us fucking gift baskets Jimmy: Alright, shut up, I might be overthinking it Jimmy: Soz I'm proper 🧠 Janis: What was that about fake sense? Jimmy: What was that about you doing shit 'cause I told you to? Jimmy: 🤐 mate Janis: That's only when I wanted to do the thing anyway Janis: great at giving me excuses, you Jimmy: You wanna have a lovely chat with 'em all then, do you? Jimmy: Sound Janis: suit you if I did Janis: any excuse to ruin their night Jimmy: Suit me if we didn't have to do any talking Jimmy: I'm that romantic, obvs Janis: Done that part Janis: and you were given an out so you've got no room to complain Jimmy: Where and when was I? Janis: I've literally told you to piss off three times Jimmy: And I've told you I ain't letting 💀👑 reckon she scared me off Jimmy: Or reckon I just leave after we're done like every lad she hasn't 🐍 Janis: Alright, your choice Janis: why do you wanna look like an 😇 Jimmy: Why do you want me to look like a twat? Janis: It doesn't make you seem like a twat Jimmy: It makes it seem like a 🍑📞 that ain't what this is Janis: Obviously not Janis: we are love's young dream 🙄 Janis: my parents are only on a date night themselves though so we're gonna have to get in my room and hide you sooner rather than later Jimmy: If you want me to go, say that Janis: I don't care what you do Janis: I'm stuck regardless Janis: just saying, it's a rule, you said that Jimmy: What it is is a 🥇 excuse not to make the 💀💀💀 with 💕 a well slow death Janis: Come on then Janis: mercy kill it is Jimmy: [Appears like the 👻 he is] Janis: [avoiding eye contact like it's your job, just a nod like alright and making your way to Grace's room] Jimmy: [pulling her back like hold my hand bitch] Janis: [Clove has entered the chat, also Winnie] Jimmy: [don't think about how he'd look in whatever he packed to wear to sleep] Janis: [don't you think about it ladies, low-key giving 'em evils even though you gotta be nice Jimmy: [I'm loling because Mia would want to tell them to fuck off cos fuming he's still here but what Grace says goes because it's her house bitch and we know she loves Janis more than you so] Janis: [when you're tipsy and just happy they're here to save your night 'cos your friends have just been talking about 'em and boring you lol] Jimmy: [honestly] Jimmy: [they should be painting their nails because ofc and Grace be like offering to do Janis' cos ILY and Jimmy's like I'll do it cos that's the kind of pinterest bullshit but like he'd obvs do a good job cos artsy hoe and pick a colour she actually fucks with] Janis: [just prolonging hand-holding, we all see you boy] Jimmy: [return of the adorable concentration face] Janis: [we love to see it, when we're sneaking peeps] Jimmy: [Grace putting it on her story to do the work for you lads, Mia be raging] Janis: [hohaha, also blatantly gotta paint his 🖤] Jimmy: [Asia offering him the dregs of the gin back but he's like 'I'm alright' and 😍 at Janis cos so #nice and #lovedup bye] Janis: [smuggest happy face] Jimmy: [a little kiss that you so don't need to give her] Janis: [all pouting like you didn't gatecrash their night] Jimmy: [soz Grace you've done nothing wrong tonight but your friends suck] Janis: [we all know she's having more fun now like soz we're just doing this to piss 'em off] Jimmy: [nothing could ever piss Mia off more than how obvs it is that Grace would rather hang out with JJ so thanks babe] Janis: [doing us a solid] Jimmy: [what other cringe activities can we make coupley af?] Janis: [we could play some kind of game, as they are that childish, idk what] Jimmy: [Mia could suggest like never have I ever or something to that effect cos they're all hoes and they think Janis is such a virgin so she wants to show her up] Janis: [that's a good idea, and they could keep saying really mushy romantic things like #awh 'cos that'll really piss her off] Jimmy: [turn it around on her cos you've never had a bf have you babe so] Janis: [awkwar silence descends lmao] Jimmy: [soz again Grace] Janis: [Asia got her man god bless] Jimmy: [Grace would so end up going off to the bathroom or wherever upset so Mia would be buzzing] Janis: 😬 Janis: she doesn't have feelings to hurt Jimmy: You should go after her before 💀👑 does Jimmy: proper 😇 Janis: Ugh Janis: pains me that you're right Janis: on so many levels Janis: [goes] Jimmy: oughta be used to it by now, mate Janis: 1. ha Janis: 2. it's more about how badly I don't want to console her than it is about admitting you've ever had a good idea Janis: 3. massive headed twat Jimmy: Duh Jimmy: And I miss you already too Janis: you can run down a single flight of stairs and not get winded, yeah Janis: should you need to 🔪🔪🔪🔪 Jimmy: Is the 🔪 in my back or nah? Janis: I dunno where they'll wanna stick it first, babe Jimmy: hot Janis: if you say so Jimmy: I've still got a 💀💀💀 wish, baby, where's yours gone? Janis: you clearly don't get how much it kills me being nice to my sister Jimmy: I never said owt about being nice Jimmy: 💀👑 wouldn't be if she'd taken the job off you Janis: I'm not gonna give her a pep talk about how more dick the better either, tah Jimmy: Get your boyfriend on the line, he'll be up for having a go Janis: You're very helpful Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: Be why Asia's asking me how to make her lad more #goals Janis: She's shameless Janis: sadly don't have his # either or I'd dob her in Jimmy: @ [whatever his actual socials are idk because of course he knows that the shady bitch] Janis: 😂 okay gossip girl Jimmy: xoxo Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll anon it at him Janis: as I've got a rep as such a nice person Jimmy: 👍 Janis: oh Janis: he's unfortunate looking Jimmy: Did you think he'd be more 🤴 than 🐸? Jimmy: Come on Janis: 🐸 is generous Janis: tadpole, like Janis: I thought he'd at least have to be fit Janis: if she was airing you Jimmy: Piss off Janis: SHE 👏 HAS 👏 A 👏 BOYFRIEND 👏 Jimmy: I hate you Janis: Yeah yeah Jimmy: come back Janis: they're being that bad huh Jimmy: whatever you wanna call trying to dance with me, that'll do Janis: how horrific Janis: pick up your phone Janis: [calling him so they can hear being like 'we need your help to carry this' 'cos gone to make hot chocolates to cheer her] Jimmy: [a coupley af phone moment because those couples who stay on the phone til he's literally a step away from her] Janis: [nerds] Jimmy: [gives Mia the biggest mug like fuck you] Janis: [definitely put loads of baileys in and cream the whole works like drink up bitch] Jimmy: [chin chin gals] Janis: [sipping like 😏 getting cream moustaches then smooching 'em off, disgusting] Jimmy: [also they should dance cos he refused to dance with y'all] Janis: [obvs] Jimmy: [her like nah so he can be like oh please I really wanna, just to really annoy them] Janis: ['cos real also what a mental image like are you all gonna watch or are you gonna dance with each other like what's going on gals] Jimmy: [gaaaaaaaay] Janis: [just bopping sadly alone with your hot chocolate, amusement] Jimmy: [we all know Jimothy just wants to pick her up again so] Janis: [please 'fall' down onto the bed like whoops what are we like] Jimmy: [100%] Janis: [Mia's eyes boutta pop out] Jimmy: [Also Asia should 100% get a call from her man rn] Jimmy: [Jimmy trying not to cackle] Janis: [just biting your tongue so hard] Janis: 🙈 Jimmy: we need to go Janis: you don't wanna witness the downfall of your nemesis? Janis: I can always tickle you again Jimmy: You can try 💪 Janis: [does 'cos being that annoying like soz you're on the phone we're just so 😍] Jimmy: [lets it happen because he needs to lol and NO other reason NOPE] Janis: [try not to cackle lads] Jimmy: [HAS TO kiss her so he doesn't again no other reason so] Janis: [definitely not actually enjoying that, definitely doesn't have to stop it kinda abruptly 'cos will get carried away, no] Jimmy: [when you're like ? but you can't say or do anything because that audience but then 💡 you quickly trace an o and a k on her with a question mark sneakily like because I love when he does that] Janis: [just squeezing his hand like a yeah but drawing a 😒 face] Jimmy: [a genuine smile even though he should also be 😒] Janis: [I think Asia should run out to talk with her mans then come in crying so they can leave lol] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: [ended that relationship whoops, run and lol run and lol] Jimmy: [don't be too happy tho boy you don't want her to think you actually wanna get with Asia] Janis: [she's gonna be on you harder than ever boy, oh my, like new boy guess what, god bless] Jimmy: [oh lord imagine] Janis: [at least she's not 💀👑 levels of snek, just dumb and tragic] Jimmy: [lowkey reminds him of his ex not in a 😍 way lol] Janis: [oh dear, getting to where the stairs are like 'lounge or my room?'] Jimmy: [shrug because can't answer a question] Janis: [nudges him like make a decision, boy] Jimmy: [nudges her back like no you] Janis: [looks at her non-existent watch and then pulls him up the stairs to her room] Jimmy: [off you go lads] Janis: [like cali could be home at any moment but not really #shameless] Jimmy: [you two and your flimsy excuses, love it] Janis: [is this the first time in her room?] Jimmy: [yeah because the other first time we did is when they actually hook up if memory serves so way after this] Janis: [enjoy that, boy] Jimmy: [we know his is no better and he can't judge] Janis: [at least there's shit still there from when you cared, shrugs and gestures 'round just like put some music on, do what you want] Jimmy: [👀 around like he's a nosy bitch but actually just doesn't know what to do with himself] Janis: ['you found plenty to fake do down there' 😏 but masking that you are awks too] Jimmy: [gets a pen and paper and starts doodling giving her a look like you happy now? all 😏 cos so awks] Janis: [sticks her tongue out at him, laying down and scrolling her phone 'cos we know it's popping off from #bathgate] Jimmy: [throws a paper airplane at her] Janis: ['excuse me?' sitting up, resting on her elbows like so #shook 'I'm checking we're still relevant, can I help you?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look cos they both know there's no need to check and it's all happening rn like my boo said] Janis: [mimes his head blowing up bigger and bigger then exploding, we all know she was just looking at the pictures again shh] Jimmy: [mimes a gun to his head then a dramatic fake death] Janis: [crawls over to where he is like she's gonna lick up the blood] Jimmy: [does a 🕆 with his fingers cos she such a vampire] Janis: [mimes a hiss like how dare you] Jimmy: [sets up a game of hangman on the paper and pushes it over to her] Janis: [😏 and writes down 'I?'] Jimmy: [---- -I-- - -I-- I -I-] Janis: ['E'] Jimmy: [---- -I-- - -I-- I -IE] Janis: ['D' 'cos got your number boy] Jimmy: [---- -I-- - -I-- I DIE] Janis: [lols 'L'] Jimmy: [what bit do you draw first when there isn't I've forgotten] Janis: [the pole that goes up] Janis: [pouts 'S'] Jimmy: [---S -I-- - -ISS I DIE] Janis: ['K' 'cos also got your number and a LOOK] Jimmy: [---S -I-- - KISS I DIE and blowing her a kiss IRL like we gotta keep this sassy and light] Janis: [buzzing 'cos you gonna win lol 'A'] Jimmy: [---S -I-- A KISS I DIE] Janis: ['T'] Jimmy: [T--S -IT- A KISS I DIE] Janis: [fills in the rest because now obvious 'THUS WITH A KISS I DIE' 😏 and also hanging the stickman still and making him look like him with shades and floppy hair and a leather jacket] Jimmy: [draws a stick person her crying but also a vicar and they've both got rings on and there's confetti and she's wearing a wedding veil etc cos throwback to the easter rising when she married that dude] Janis: [draws a union jack flag in the vicar's hand, then a knife in his 💘 and then draws a vial under her tears with ☠ and 'POISON' on the label] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [adds vampire fangs to herself and two little holes on his hanged neck like excuse me thank you] Jimmy: [little lol] Janis: [lays back down 'what else do you wanna play?'] Jimmy: [lies down too LOOKING at her 'What do you wanna play?'] Janis: [stops breathing for a sec, bye but turns it into serious thinking face] Jimmy: [just staring at her, waiting but like why you gotta be so hot doing that boy] Janis: ['don't have any new games' casting her eyes over to whatever the last console she got was before she stopped giving a shit about everything 'you can talk about girls for-' invisible watch again '-five minutes, if you wanna, northern boy'] Jimmy: [talks about how much he hates Mia for a 5 minute rant lol, lying down staring up at the ceiling] Janis: [when you're so 😍 unironically thank god he's not looking] Jimmy: [nudges her when he's done like it's your go] Janis: [quick snap into a 😏 'you stole my bitch' and nudging him back then turning her eyes to the ceiling and talking about Grace instead] Jimmy: [takes his turn to talk about 💀#2 because still fuming about bathgate not that he's gonna rant about that, be careful please] Janis: [just nodding like mhmm preach then takes her turn to talk about Asia but like, try not to mention you're potentially jealous of her 'cos he might like her] Jimmy: [throws something at her like he's so offended she's slagging off his bae] Janis: ['so chivalrous!' 'cos he hit her with whatever she's now gonna hit him back with, let us assume a pillow fight for the cliche] Jimmy: [yas we need that shameless flirty MOMENT] Janis: [doing it, pinning him and tickling him like 'admit you love Asia'] Jimmy: [when you just flip reverse it 💪 so you're doing the same to her 'admit you're jealous of our true love'] Janis: [getting out a 'never!' between your lols] Jimmy: [opening and closing his mouth cos was blatantly gonna say something but then aborted mission] Janis: [reaching up and opening and closing his mouth yourself a few times like a 🐟 'catching flies, Taylor?'] Jimmy: [just sniffing her dramatically like 🤔 and giving her a look like you're not that bad] Janis: [punches his arm but vaguely affectionately lol 'how could either of us stink after that bath full of shit'] Jimmy: ['answered your own question there'] Janis: ['We smell like unicorn farts and rainbow dreams, obviously, did you not read the labels?] Jimmy: ['Too Northern'] Janis: ['Too distracted' under your breath like who said that] Jimmy: ['What?' Even though he 100% heard] Janis: ['See' and poking him in the chest like, you just proved my point there, not paying attention] Jimmy: [moves her finger down to his stomach shaking his head like he's so hungry and deprived of promised snacks that he can't possibly survive nevermind concentrate] Janis: [🙄 and poking his stomach harder, bit rude, 'come on then fatty' and wriggling out from under him, where she still is btw, gesturing like come on] Jimmy: [when you don't wanna leave this room and risk seeing either flat whites or her parents so you've got such a lil pout on 'shit host, you'] Janis: [a look like really 'lazy and all, chat shit about my rich girl work ethic ever again...' 😏 and goes to forage] Jimmy: [throws the pillow at her as she goes cos so mature] Janis: I'm taking all the good snacks now Jimmy: I'll have 'em off your 💀💀💀 body when you get 🔪🔪 Jimmy: bit of blood ain't gonna hurt nowt Janis: I've turned you Janis: not gay Janis: just vampire Janis: should've had your ear off and ended you there and then Jimmy: brb gotta send that tweet Jimmy: #notgayjustvampire Jimmy: what a read Janis: you would wanna be that couple Janis: not rawring at people with you Jimmy: I've got the fucking 💅 for it Janis: deny that you love it Jimmy: You really want me to throw my 💕 about tonight, eh? Janis: Not calling you a slag Janis: or am I Jimmy: can do Jimmy: be a misread but what ain't with you Janis: Doesn't feel like a #kinkunlocked to me Janis: and you're the one who claims he can't Jimmy: Claim I can't do loads of things but here we are Janis: Total opposite, bighead Janis: so rare you aren't bigging yourself up like the complex is so real Jimmy: you wish Jimmy: I get that it would be easier to fake this if I was more your type but 💔 Janis: You can't say I haven't faked it perfectly Janis: everyone believes it Jimmy: That weren't what I were saying Janis: What were you saying then, elaborate Jimmy: for a start that the locked door ain't the only appeal of a bathroom for your boyfriend Jimmy: 🎻 that every surface weren't mirrored Janis: 🙄 Why do you keep bringing him up Jimmy: Why don't you want me to? Janis: because I don't like thinking about him, never mind talking about him Janis: he's at a lot of parties, I'm sure you'll get a chance to see him again, like calm down Jimmy: It weren't me who wanted to 👀 that dickhead Janis: Me either, obviously Janis: well busy looking at myself, does that suit you? Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: What? Jimmy: What? Janis: What would you like me to say? That I love him? Or even fancy him? 'Cos I don't so I'm not going to just 'cos you need me to, for some reason Jimmy: Why would I need that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: It's bollocks Janis: Then you can stop bringing him up Jimmy: I can do what I like, tah Janis: Alright, be obsessed with him Janis: I don't have to listen Jimmy: keep being a dickhead Jimmy: you obvs can't help it Janis: 🙄 Janis: good one Janis: I never said I weren't and I've done fuck all wrong Jimmy: 👍 Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: I'm just gonna go Jimmy: They don't need to know I have Janis: Fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll get you a ride Jimmy: It's alright Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: I said it's alright Janis: I got you out here, I can get you back too Jimmy: I can get myself back, I'm in no rush Janis: The buses have stopped coming out this way and you are miles from yours Janis: take the ride Jimmy: Leave it out Janis: Why are you being a dickhead for Jimmy: Me? Jimmy: Yeah, alright Janis: Yeah, you Janis: if you don't want the ride, then use my bed and wait 'til the AM Janis: you'll be left alone Jimmy: I don't want your bed either Janis: then take another one, this house is filled with fucking empty ones Jimmy: that's not creepy Janis: I have siblings that've fucked off Janis: that's all Janis: guest rooms are the reward for having lots of kids Jimmy: bit late for my dad to crack on there but I'll @ him any road Janis: never too late for blokes Jimmy: Northern 40s is rest of the world's 90s Janis: Still Jimmy: Still, he can't keep a bird for any length Jimmy: it's all stacking up Janis: you're gutted, clearly Janis: who doesn't want nine brothers and sisters Jimmy: Love raising his kids for him, me Jimmy: Why not do it a load more times? Got nowt else on Janis: After the 5th you can delegate Janis: your sister is definitely old enough Jimmy: Tah for the insider trading tips Janis: what are friends for Jimmy: Do you want a real or fake answer? Janis: why would you need to fake it Janis: not being wire-tapped here Jimmy: I might be wearing one 👮🚔 Janis: Her word is only law if you've not got the upper body strength or brain function to fight her off Janis: so go ahead Jimmy: You admitting I have? Janis: I'm admitting I'd know if you were working for or with Mia Janis: she's not as smart as she thinks and I'm not a fucking idiot Jimmy: And I ain't got enough upper body strength or brain function for that many jobs Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: You're exhausted just thinking about it Janis: relatable Jimmy: I'm sorry for bringing him up, alright? Janis: Alright Janis: I just don't get it Janis: like yeah it was a dick move but you don't reckon I was punished thoroughly enough or what? Jimmy: it's nowt like that Jimmy: I just Janis: Well it's alright, forget about it Jimmy: maybe I don't get it an' all Janis: Yeah Janis: I get that Jimmy: Do you? Janis: 'course Janis: much as it pains me to admit I don't know everything, like Jimmy: I won't send that tweet Janis: Cheers Jimmy: come back Janis: Okay Janis: [back with the snacks] Jimmy: [going through 'em so you don't have to look at her rn] Janis: ['Jimmy'] Jimmy: [raising his head like ?] Janis: ['I-' and stopping 'just-' and again, before settling on 'don't go and get lost, alright, I'd almost feel bad'] Jimmy: ['alright' and shoving her a controller for whatever console she has so they can play retro games and be competitive about it for a bit] Janis: [a mood] Jimmy: [as is throwing snacks into each other's mouths so simply must] Janis: [all the competitiveness] Jimmy: [speaking of I'm gonna do another hangman cos she guessed that one too fast for his liking, hold onto your hat bitch] Janis: [it was fun honey] Jimmy: [-- --- -- ---- ---- -- ---- - -------- --- -- ---] Janis: ['A'] Jimmy: [-- --- -- ---- ---- -- ---- a -------- -a- -- ---] Janis: ['Y'] Jimmy: [-- --- -y y--- ---- -- ---- a --a----y -ay -- ---] Janis: ['T'] Jimmy: [t- --- -y y--- ---- -- ---- a --a----y -ay t- ---] Janis: ['S'] Jimmy: [t- --- -y y--- s--- -s s--- a --a----y -ay t- ---] Janis: ['D'] Jimmy: [t- d-- -y y--- s-d- -s s--- a --a----y -ay t- d--] Janis: ['IE' 'cos we can sense a theme lol] Jimmy: [pout like how you gonna guess two letters bitch but we doing it] Jimmy: [t- die -y y--- -ide is s--- a -ea-e--- -ay t- die] Jimmy: [*side I can't type bye] Janis: [sings it at him] Jimmy: [when we know she's a good singer but he don't cos karaoke ain't happened yet so control your 😍 by drawing the hanged person but as 💔 Asia this time dropping a phone with a speech bubble of whatever bollocks they heard her boyfriend say] Janis: [draws him as a tadpole having a party in a pond with lady frogs and fishes] Jimmy: [lols] Janis: ['do you reckon I should feel bad about breaking them up?' shoving more snacks in her face, like] Jimmy: [when you give her such a wtf no look 'do they feel bad about wishing we would?' doesn't give her chance to answer cos obvs a rhetorical question 'there's your answer, like'] Janis: [shrugs like yeah, true 'but their love is so real' but rolls her eyes 'cos I doubt they were ever #goals] Jimmy: [shrugs back does a 💔 with his hands 'nowt I can't fix' and winks] Janis: [🙄] Jimmy: [goes to her window and opens it really wide to 🚬 leaning out dangerously far so he doesn't get any smoke in her room cos still doesn't wanna leave and see anyone] Janis: [comes to the window and looks out 'their car ain't back' like does that mean get out or] Jimmy: [gives her a look like oh no cali are coming for their 👑 by being so goals] Janis: [makes a face like don't] Jimmy: [goes to pass her the 🚬 like a peace offering but then is like oh you obvs don't want it my bad kinda takeback gesture cos what she said before about only faking it] Janis: [walks away 'cos stubborn] Jimmy: [just 🚬 and watching the 🐈s outside casually] Janis: [just back playing a solo game, pretending you ain't pouting] Jimmy: [sending her highlights of bathgate even though she's already seen them all cos shamelessly like pay attention to me] Janis: good thing we ain't in school Janis: last time they got this excited over a #scandal they put Jesy Halls in isolation for weeks Jimmy: You don't wanna be in isolation? Jimmy: fakest bollocks you've ever chatted Janis: You know they'd put you in and leave me out to get torn apart Janis: ⭐ Jimmy: what you get for being such an athlete Jimmy: and hey, might learn your name while I'm in there so it ain't all bad Janis: What you get for being so soft Janis: think of my mystique, would ya Jimmy: keep that to yourself, tah, it'll make us both look properly un-goals Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: Go on, might get to eat some snacks myself if you're struggling Janis: Fuck off Janis: I'm not encouraging you to talk about your dick so you can 🐽 Jimmy: you started it Janis: Nah Janis: why would I ever bring that up Jimmy: Why did you just? You tell me, girl Janis: 😒 Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: You're easy to annoy Janis: I think you'll find most sane people don't wanna discuss your genitals Janis: just them downstairs Jimmy: 💔 Janis: you're buzzing Janis: be sneaking down in a few Jimmy: busted me Janis: mhmm Janis: wouldn't be a good real cheat, you Jimmy: my dad's got that covered Jimmy: I don't want 🥈 Janis: fair enough Janis: Freud's all over that statement Jimmy: he can be next for a 👻🥊 Janis: this is what comes of violent games Janis: [throws a bag of snack at him] Jimmy: [catches it like 😏] Janis: [pouts] Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: are you nearly done Janis: freezing here Janis: [in your short shorts] Jimmy: [wasn't done but gets done immediately cos #whipped] Janis: [gets under the covers] Jimmy: [comes over and tucks her in like a nerd] Janis: [allows this to happen like you're gonna go sleep 😊] Jimmy: [just sitting on the edge of the bed like when you tell a kid a story] Janis: ['you do this a lot, like'] Jimmy: [looks at her like what?] Janis: [looks down like tucking in] Jimmy: [shrugs like it's so casual cos she knows he's got a little brother from the pool awks] Janis: ['never stop, eh'] Jimmy: [looks at his phone cos still blowing up and back at her like so many jobs so little time] Janis: [tugs on his sleeve gently like lay down 'they'll be consoling her for hours still yet'] Jimmy: [does of course] Janis: ['you want me to go?' quiet and soft like he's asleep already 'I do have 2 cigarettes to smoke now so'] Jimmy: ['do you wanna go?' because can't answer a q but also obvs does not want that but thinks she does] Janis: [shrugs 'cos like no but do you want me to lol, so helpful] Jimmy: ['it's your bed' and what boy you're not helpful either] Janis: ['you want a tour of all the free ones?'] Jimmy: ['Which one's most worth haunting?'] Janis: [a look like that's easy but then a 🤔 face 'but you're pretty chicken so' and rolling over like night then] Jimmy: [shoves her like oi] Janis: [loling 'don't push me out of bed, how ungoals, you twat'] Jimmy: [literally rolls her back over to face him #excuse you 'answer me, dickhead'] Janis: [when that was hot so you're like literally give me a moment here so you wriggle down under the covers so he can't see you 'alright, I'll show you but I can't promise the ghost will come out' muffled by the duvet like hello] Jimmy: [lifts the covers up and peeping at her like ? and has cupped his ear like what? because one ear jokes 5ever] Janis: [coming out the bottom of the bed like can't catch me 'come on scaredy cat' and we all know what room we going to] Jimmy: [can't catch her ever but can chuck a hoodie at her because she's so cold and it might slow her down a bit] Janis: [puts it on and pretend swoons 'trying to cash in some hero points now, I see'] Jimmy: ['just don't want you to freeze to death before we get there, Jennifer, can't be arsed with throwing myself down the stairs right this second'] Janis: [pouts and grabs his face like n'awh 'but we could frame them, where's your sense of fun, honestly'] Jimmy: [pushes her off but then is like 😏 looking at her like good idea and picks her up as if he's gonna chuck her down the stairs] Janis: [playfighting like get off me boy 'as if I'd let you go 2nd'] Jimmy: [we love a playfight moment 'as if you reckon you call the shots'] Janis: [the most dramatic 'pfft!' and just rolling further towards the stairs like actually be careful please 'but you love coming first usually'] Jimmy: [does a mime locking his lips like don't tell anyone that, very ungoals, boy stop making it sexual again thank you 'depends, time and a place, you know, Jules'] Janis: [rolls her eyes but is 😳 'How can I trust you'll go through with it, besides, Romeo dies first, I fake it, you do it for real, then I do, stick to the script'] Jimmy: ['fake something for me that convincingly and I might do'] Janis: [just looking at him 'rude'] Jimmy: [a LOOK back at her] Janis: ['you can't tell me those pictures weren't convincing' 'cos we know it's still popping off] Jimmy: ['I sorted them' okay boy we gonna act like just cos you did all the camera shit she didn't do anything? Really now] Janis: ['it was my idea, and you wouldn't have any pictures on your own so'] Jimmy: [a shrug but we all know he's still looking at her, like oh jimothy what kind of challenge do you think you can lay down right here right now that'll top bathgate you simply can't] Janis: ['so, it's your turn to think of something, actually' but getting up and going to Edie's room, which is thankfully not a creepy shrine moment] Jimmy: [Follows her obvs] Janis: [it's probably less of a guest room more of a quiet chill room for if they wanted to go think about her, that seems like some hippie shit, so obviously no one goes in here though 'cos no thanks lol, gestures like 'this is the ghost room, can you feel it?' so sarky] Jimmy: [just making himself comfy in there because he don't know] Janis: [when this was a bad idea but you have to front it out and sit down like] Jimmy: [when you're so busy trying to think of something to top bathgate that you're oblivious] Janis: [at least you can lean in to pressuring him just making tick tock noises with your tongue like] Jimmy: [he'd do such a fake OMG STOP like when she was being tickled in front of the fans] Janis: [just gets closer to the ear she didn't bite so it's louder] Jimmy: [when you wanna lol but you don't wanna give her the satisfaction so you gotta bite your lip like it's okay I'm just thinking here, total accident that he looks really hot doing it soz Janis] Janis: [just shamelessly looking 'not meant to eat yourself, such a rookie' 😏] Jimmy: ['if anyone can recognise owt like that, it'd be you'] Janis: ['duh, I turned you, I'm like your mistress' raises brows 'or daddy, if you prefer'] Jimmy: ['Don't be telling my missus I've got one of them, tah, right rookie mistake that'd be, she already reckons me and her are well fake' does a what can you do, women eh, kinda gesture]] Janis: ['I don't reckon she knows you've got a name' shakes head like imagine that 'enjoy being on the other side of that one, babe'] Jimmy: [😏 'Sounds alright to me, that'] Janis: [🙄 but not that mad ever] Jimmy: [zips up the hoodie for her like how you possibly be annoyed at such a 😇] Janis: [pulls is back down justto be that bitch but then you look like you wanna be undressed in front of him so you pull it up and down a few times like a bit] Jimmy: ['you break it, you've bought it, rich girl' but clearly amused] Janis: [shrugs 'meant to let me keep it anyway'] Jimmy: ['You want me to freeze to death, that's the big plan, eh?' cos she'd have the school trip one already] Janis: [nods but is lol 'how else will everyone know you love me?'] Jimmy: [100% has to give her a new lovebite because I can't not if you're gonna say stuff like that Janis] Janis: [just like 'of course' but with feeling 'cos always covered low-key and we know it 'what about you, what do you want?'] Jimmy: [when you give her another one because that's what you want and we all know it but then you have to look at her like ? as if you weren't listening] Janis: [just gripping the sofa you're on so tightly so you can otherwise pretend this is so casual, tracing your finger 'round and 'round his ear lobe like 'yours healed ages ago...'] Jimmy: ['Have another go then' yeah this is so casual bye] Janis: [does, with vigour lol] Jimmy: [his turn to abuse the sofa] Janis: [admiring your handiwork 'bruises don't lie' and giving him back the hoodie like there you go] Jimmy: ['No need for you to lie either' cos she was cold and putting it back on her because I love a hair lift moment especially because he won't jump back 6 ft like when he did that exact thing on school trip #progress] Janis: [the state of the hair after all this we can only assume, going to put it up or something like ugh 'I don't lie, ever' fully aware of the irony ;cos of their fake dating deal like 😇] Jimmy: [irl 👌 so sarky] Janis: [lols] Jimmy: [when she's so cute and you can see so much of her neck now she's moved her hair and you're just like don't 😳] Janis: [motioning for him to pass her a cigarette and getting up 'ghost ain't coming, soz mate' 'cos definitely needs it now] Jimmy: [puts one behind her ear cos can't be tamed about touching her needlessly ever] Janis: ['you want my second one? as I don't smoke' as she's going to go downstairs] Jimmy: [takes one for himself as an unspoken yes] Janis: [kinda wanna make cali come back to be evil[ Jimmy: [do it gal] Janis: [they'll just say hi but she'll be fuming lol] Jimmy: [and he'll be wanting to run away] Janis: [at least its dark so you can sit here bright red, angrily smoking in silence] Jimmy: I'll fuck off home, say the word Janis: You can Janis: they won't wake you up for breakfast and awkward small talk though Jimmy: That where you get being a shit host from? Janis: Funny Jimmy: Could at least fake 😂 for me then, babe Janis: [😑 at him] Janis: convincing, yeah? Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: don't give me pity medals Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: have another go Janis: [a look that's half a LOOK and half don't] Janis: lost track of time, didn't reckon they'd be back 🤷 Janis: they couldn't see you so it don't count as meeting, right Jimmy: no 👻 about tonight Janis: yeah Janis: go if you have to Jimmy: I'll go if you want me to Janis: [say Cali's room also faces the front, nodding to the windows] Janis: go in once their light is on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hope one of 'em has been sick or something Janis: doubt it'll be as pretty and pink coming back up Jimmy: [when we know that'll make him feel sick but not gonna see the greenish tint in the dark so stay 💪 boy and throw a stone at Grace's window to see if there's any life in there] Janis: 🙄 oh great Janis: give 'em ideas, lover boy Jimmy: I can't help missing her, alright? Jimmy: [dramatically fake pining] Janis: Disgusting Janis: [but a small half-smile Jimmy: [nudges her gently like hey that's at least a small 🏆] Janis: [nudes him like piss off but it's as gently] Jimmy: [just staying leaned into her a lil bit like be comforted] Janis: Proper soft, you Janis: could make yourself useful and find some fuel so I can set the place on fire whilst all my worst enemies are inside Jimmy: can't stop lying, you Jimmy: I'm well hard, me Jimmy: [plucks at the hoodie she's wearing like this is so cheap it'll burn right up] Janis: [looks down like hmm 🤔] Janis: you give to take away, only just got this hoodie back Jimmy: [nods at a passing cat like there you go instead then] Janis: [snorts] Jimmy: I were thinking Jimmy: it's not about arson but Janis: disappointing Janis: but go on Jimmy: could've waited til you'd heard it to 💔 me Janis: tell me Jimmy: I dunno, just Jimmy: might not be the massive-stly shit idea to try and be mates Jimmy: for as long as I'm here and this Janis: Wait, are you friendzoning me, Taylor? 😂 Janis: [actually 😂] Jimmy: [is pouting actually] Janis: [pats his shoulder like my bad] Janis: Sorry, that's just not what I expected you to say Jimmy: I've changed my mind now, dickhead Janis: Probably for the best Janis: if you can't handle that, like Janis: insert that quote here Jimmy: weren't likely to handle nowt for long but you're alright Janis: I don't need mates and you don't want me as one Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Let's go in then Jimmy: [does] Janis: [stops off in the kitchen to get more drink first] Jimmy: [does not follow her for the first time ever] Janis: don't you want a nightcap? Jimmy: Is it a) pretty or b) pink? Janis: That's long gone, boy Jimmy: So what's the point, like? Janis: You know I've seen you drink drinks that aren't flat white approved before, yeah? Jimmy: Don't sound like me or very #goals to me Janis: I'll leave the bottle here then 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Don't be in a mood Jimmy: Or what? You'll be in a bigger one? Janis: I'm not in a mood Jimmy: nowt to worry about then, is there? Janis: Why are you in one? Jimmy: What are you on about? Jimmy: Stick to the script, Jodie, we've got no rules but that Janis: Suit yourself Jimmy: tah for stating the obvious Jimmy: it were like Asia was here for a bit Janis: How lovely for you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Fuck sake Janis: you can't give me any time to react, no Jimmy: you can have loads, we're off the clock Janis: Bullshit Jimmy: nah Janis: Yeah Janis: I said I didn't know you were gonna say that Jimmy: like you said an' all, bad idea Jimmy: we can leave it out Janis: right, cheers Jimmy: you're right, take the 🏆 Janis: Leave it out, like you said Jimmy: lasses first Janis: Whatever Janis: this is ridiculous Jimmy: nowt about any of this has ever been owt else Janis: No need to tell me Jimmy: you're trying to tell me Janis: I'm trying to tell you fuck all Janis: what's the point Jimmy: 🙀 Janis: I'm not the one that's scared Janis: or taking back what I said Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I'm taking it back 'cause you're a knobhead Janis: You knew that before you said it Jimmy: you weren't for a second so I said it Janis: What second? Jimmy: What does that matter? Janis: Maybe I would like to try again, or maybe I wanna know what to avoid Janis: take your pick Jimmy: Maybe you're right again and I'm soft Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: Bollocks, that's giving yourself one for nothing Janis: like you've been so nice to me even though I don't deserve it, fuck off Jimmy: you fuck off Jimmy: I'm tired Janis: go sleep then Jimmy: Alright Janis: Night Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just downstairs, getting drunk] Jimmy: [I'm so evil because I'm like ooh the potential for her to come up here when she is] Janis: ['forget' he's in your room like bonjour] Jimmy: [exactly though] Janis: [why not baby] Jimmy: [him just half asleep like mother is that you returning from the great unknown, oh no wait I'm not at home remotely] Janis: [ah the confusion, poor boy] Jimmy: [when you're relieved that it's her for the hottest of secs because where you been girl but also not because awkward] Janis: [when he's on the side of the bed you sleep on so you're trying to get in like 'budge up'] Jimmy: [so offended before he realises how drunk she is but then also like shhh when he does realise as if anyone's gonna hear this jimothy calm down] Janis: [just pushing him but much less efficiently than normal 'least you've warmed it for me'] Jimmy: [just so 😒 like stop pushing me but not saying anything] Janis: ['are you still cross?'] Jimmy: ['I've got nowt to be mardy about' sighing at himself like ffs boy as he's scooting over #foreverwhipped] Janis: [chuckling to herself, quietly, thank god, as she settles in 'well I'm not happy with you'] Jimmy: ['And I've done nowt for you to be mardy at me about' okay Jimothy if you say so] Janis: ['Neither of those is true, you know' fluffing up the pillow] Jimmy: ['start a # if you feel so strongly' cos v mature] Janis: ['you're stupid, stupid as I am' poking him] Jimmy: [gives her a look like don't, which he means on many levels rn] Janis: [pulls a face 'cos so mature too right now 'we could be friends, I'm just saying'] Jimmy: ['You reckon?' because clearly they can't] Janis: ['duh'] Jimmy: [shakes his head] Janis: [nods, way too hard, 'now you made me dizzy as well'] Jimmy: [goes to sarcastically pat her on the head like there there but strokes her hair instead because so soft always] Janis: [pouts but genuinely] Jimmy: ['what?' but in the softest way] Janis: ['I want you to be my friend but I weren't lying when I said you wouldn't want me to be your friend but I still wish you would'] Jimmy: [needlessly moves her hair out of her face like look at me 'it ain't up to you what I want, I said I wanted to try 'cause I did- I do'] Janis: [Hides under the covers again like sorry can't look at you 'okay' really quietly] Jimmy: [reaches under the covers so he can trace a o and k with his fingertip on her hand/arm whichever is reachable] Janis: [comes back up 'go sleep now' and closes his eyes with her fingers] Jimmy: [such an amused little noise because he was asleep before she came in, excuse you] Janis: ['shh shh'] Jimmy: [puts a finger on her lips like you shh] Janis: [frowny face 'stop it'] Jimmy: [holds his hands up dramatically like alright, calm down and gets comfy like look I'mma sleep] Janis: [smug face like that's right and does the same 'least it's not a single this time'] Jimmy: ['gutted, me' said really sarcastically but we know you are boy] Janis: [gets all up in his grill like there you go then] Jimmy: ['funny'] Janis: ['that's what you get for being rude'] Jimmy: ['you woke me, pisshead' but affectionately not actually annoyed at all] Janis: [waves hand like psh 'you were rude before then'] Jimmy: ['Alright, shut up' like you really care about going back to sleep rn okay Jimothy] Janis: [gestures like see 'gotta be nice to me' but rolling over like okay, you can sleep] Jimmy: [OTT dramatic sigh so she's knows it's fake] Janis: ['bet you can't say one nice thing about me'] Jimmy: ['you're not as shit at kissing as you were on the trip' because I re-read that and he kept acting like she was so bad like OKAY liar] Janis: [pushes him 'what kind of compliment is that?!'] Jimmy: [shrugs like you don't know exactly what you're doing boy] Janis: ['alright then the only thing I have to say about you is you're slightly less shit at being nice but potentially worse at lying so' blows raspberry] Jimmy: ['bollocks, you've got loads to say tonight, lightweight' but he's loling] Janis: ['yes well I've been very bored'] Jimmy: [does like the awh cheek squish she does to him always 'poor baby'] Janis: ['you know I'll bite you' squirming out of reach 'why didn't you come down?'] Jimmy: [does the thing where you check an animals teeth like he wants to see her vampire fangs, stop touching her mouth please! 'Why didn't you come up?'] Janis: [wipes her mouth like a child like gross 'I was getting drunk' shrugs like hello] Jimmy: [shrugs back 'I were sleeping' but like not for ages boy we know it] Janis: ['marding' in a him impersonation Jimmy: [pushes her cos oi what a read] Janis: [mhmm noise 'me too, but I had company'] Jimmy: ['like I said, shit host'] Janis: ['what do you mean?' resting on her elbow 'you keep saying that'] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like pretty self explanatory] Janis: [a look like obvs not? 'I've fed you, entertained you, what more do you want, fanfare?'] Jimmy: ['that lot did the did the bulk of the entertaining, girl, weren't you' more lies and more slander] Janis: ['not my fault you've got shit taste then' is pouting] Jimmy: ['@whateverAsia'ssocials are, might start her off bawling again, what could be more goals?'] Jimmy: [but obvs he's said them I just cba to think of one lol] Janis: ['kink unlocked you horrible boy' but lols] Jimmy: [I've known for ages that were one of yours'] Janis: ['making girls cry?' fake ponders 'hmm, don't tell anyone'] Jimmy: ['not just lasses' does the broken heart hand thing again] Janis: ['you aren't that soft' nudges him 'unfortunately'] Jimmy: [nudges her back 'bit of editing and you can tweet that'] Janis: [passes her phone 'you'll have to do it for me, I'm not that drunk and sad'] Jimmy: [tweets something hilarious instead cos that bitch and makes a big show of not giving her the phone back cos drunk] Janis: ['what did you do, tweet my nudes?' tryna grab her phone like 'scuse me] Jimmy: ['Mr Lucas wishes' having a playfight over this phone so casually] Janis: ['who do you think I'm taking them for' then an ew face 'cos truly] Jimmy: ['Save something for the wedding night' cos in the school trip convo that was also a running theme of her marrying him lol] Janis: ['tweet that and we lose all credibility'] Jimmy: [shakes his head 'I could make owt sound goals, even that bollocks'] Janis: ['yeah but bit off message' gestures at the lovebites 'stick to the script, no improv'] Jimmy: [touches the newest ones he gave her, boy stop 'Alright'] Janis: [shakes her head 'don't' and pulls up the covers between them] Jimmy: [when you're actually 💔 now, so just getting back in a sleeping position] Janis: ['it's just 'cos I wanna and it's not fair and' let this be vaguely incoherent so you don't fully out yourself immediately] Jimmy: [just pretending he's actually gone deaf like we don't need to do this] Janis: [sad sound but turning over like you actually believe he's asleep] Jimmy: [just moving about like you're trying to get more comfy but getting closer to her so it's like the in bed version of when he was leaning on her earlier] Janis: [just really quiet and still for a long time, sighs 'night, Jimmy'] Jimmy: [we know he ain't gonna answer even though he all also know you aren't asleep sir] Janis: [AM skip or?] Jimmy: [I think we should say he leaves like super early cos got so real there] Janis: [okay gurl]

3x12 “Bizarrodale” - Riverdale Reaction

Not gonna lie, I was kinda hoping from the title that this episode would have things like terrifying Jughead with a giant carving knife from outtakes of the fever-dream sequence of season one. Or floating babies. What we got was a generally cohesive plot with the minor characters. So like...I’ll take it? 

Let’s see some “inspired lunacy,” Riverdale!

“I’ll check my calendar, Sierra” — OOOOOH BURN. They didn’t even tell you the day, Marcus.

Hermione has no investment in procreations now that she’s not getting laid. DO IT YOURSELF is her new go-to response.

Who is this smug bug for finding Kevin and Moose in some random room making out? You want a gold star? A pat on the butt?

Oooof, Josie! Using ‘em and losin’ ‘em while wearing cute clothes! Sweet Pea wants something steady now that he can’t play G&G with his boyfriends on the regular.

Twice-widowed?! Did I miss something??? Maybe there’s a deleted scene of Penelope marrying Tall Boy. Or Malachai (who could be dead for all he’s been in this season). Or Claudius? That seems extra shady.

Is Tom just unemployed and Sierra’s sex bunny now? Because that’s weirdly adorable. Also if people could get more beds in this town so I’m not horrified wondering if it’s the same place Bughead has canoodled that would be great.

So…the main reason Kevin doesn’t want to break up with Moose is because…he doesn’t wanna cruise in the forest? Too much effort to get laid? This episode is not doing their relationship any favors for me, even if they’re both attractive young men. It’s like Kevin has to convince himself he even likes Moose outside of his enormous appendage.

Anyone else get chills when Cheryl reached out to touch Kevin’s hand? I was fairly certain she was going to set him on fire. Maybe that’s just me worrying about Cheryl in general. Let the former fat kid stress-eat!

Did they run out of costumes? Why is that one kid in full ROTC uniform and nobody else is? XD I get it. The metaphorical “divide” between Moose’s dad and their relationship but wow. That hat stands out in a classroom.

Cheryl getting excited for their first fight and then quickly crumbling into pleading is so…sad? I feel like Toni could probably manipulate her really horribly. Or for the better. Um. We’ll see. I’m not holding my breath.

Josie can’t drive? She ran her own band, her mom was mayor, dad’s a jazz star, but no car? No driver’s license? Shoulda taken advantage when she was dating Reggie to get a great deal on a ride! I know the pictured scene is later, but Archie is just so excited to be someone’s date and play music again that I wanted it up here.

Also it’s been 15 minutes without Bughead and I am physically in pain.

Oh good. Veronica finds robbing banks impractical, but she’s all about encouraging “inspired lunacy.” I think that’s how the show would describe itself.

The bad parents club is at it again.

“50 Shades of Blackmail” - the Choni spinoff

“I can’t believe I was shot…” — Reggie, unaware of what happened to Veronica’s “exes.” Honestly, seems like he got let off easy.

Archie - mauled by a bear, branded, buried alive

Nick St. Claire - “Car accident,” multiple ass-kickings

Now THAT’S what I call “dirty money!”

Okay I liked the throwback to the beginning of this season when Kevin surprised Moose with locker kisses

I don’t know how to feel about Choni cheating their way into a broken system. I like their outfits? I don’t care?

Ohhhhh Gladys. “More teenagers.” You and me, both. If only drug dealings could be kept between adults. I’m so annoyed with these people! Stop being involved in shade! Clearly you’re boss bitches and can manage an actual legit business instead of “borrowing” fancy cars and laundering dirty money with a bunch of rowdy teens and gang members. SET AN EXAMPLE, LADIES

Ha. Throwback to the Midnight Club entering through the window is kinda hilarious. What is with this poison-drinking nonsense? Again?!

OH MY GOD they’re setting it up for “jealous” Mason man to be the Gargoyle King. Yep. He is. Okay then.

30 minutes in, I get my shot. I’m crying. The hair. The beauty. I can’t handle it. DON’T STOP. My Bughead heart needs this! They are so lovely! Someone light their face and silence all the phones, k thanks.

Why does Kevin presume Betty would infringe on bunker boinking? She’s probably the one who came up with the damn schedule!

They look so damn satisfied. Can no one have peaceful pillow talk in this town?

What is with all this “gay=weakness” nonsense? Love is love. Sit down, ignorant, self-hating villains.

I squealed when I heard Jughead’s voice and saw him come in. Oh man. And now my heart is broken. Because the Jones girls are faking it. And Jughead’s gonna get his heart broken. NOOOOOO! I knew it the second JB hugged FP.

Good call Sierra and Kevin just keeping a giant cake for themselves with that bizarro topper. Was he sunk into the cake? On his knees? What are you two up to?

Goodbye, Moose! Bon voyage! Kevin seemed proud of him being out but sad he loses another boyfriend to crime in Riverdale.

It’s like this episode wants to highlight all the minors having reasons to cry. Ironically, Reggie was SHOT and was the least teary.

Oh, really?! A new gang/FAMILY? Of strangers?! In leather?! We need more aesthetic options in this damn town. The Pretty Poisons. My guess is if they can get the rights, Cheryl and Toni are gonna dress up as Harley and Ivy. Because they already dressed up like Catwoman.

I’m sorry, Archie and Josie, I can’t hear your duet over the sound of my heart breaking.

I don’t know, was anyone excited about Archie OR Josie dating someone new? Y’all need some time to work on yourselves. Revisit this after some therapy. Time is good. Look what it did for Tom and Sierra. I can’t imagine Julliard is much for aspiring pop stars anyway, but what do I know? She’s about to go to her own spinoff so I’m not emotionally invested.

I don’t know when I’ll get to see my darlings get the short end of the stick again. Oh well. Time for fanfiction, I suppose. Every time I think we’re thinning the ensemble they just swoop in with more. Fingers crossed our favs get to finish spectacularly next time ;)

all the more reason, chapter 2

ao3 link here!

Roger Taylor, dead as a doorknob, and his best friend John Deacon (also dead) meet some blokes who are decidedly NOT. Dead, that is.

(aka that ghost au that no one asked for, featuring Gay Panic™, John’s sass, and Brian being too endearing for this world. the overall vibe of the fic is not sad, if that’s a concern for you!)

It’s not enough.

Roger can’t stop thinking about him. The feel of fingers on his skin like a livewire, ready to ignite any waiting spark. Warm eyes, sloped back, every inch of him delicate, like he’s worried the world around him is a breakable thing. Torture, basically, is what Roger is currently experiencing; want over something he might not ever get. Plus, the dead don’t sleep, so that level of reprieve is non-existent.

Someone else would call this infatuation. Roger just calls it - well, it’s a bit of an infatuation, actually, but his reasoning is sound. He’s not crazy, he’s just normally an invisible man among those still enjoying the luxuries of everyday life. The fact that one of said people can see him? And didn’t run screaming for the hills?

Roger’s allowed to be just a little bit in love with him.

The professor at the front of the hall shifts her lecture from ecological interactions to biomechanics, and Roger rises from the floor with a grunt. University is usually a good follow up to a long night (full of brooding, as John rudely put it), but even the core marine biology lectures can’t keep his attention. He’s wandering halls he’s only known the past year, going through doors he’s never touched. It’s a reminder, and not always a painful one; sometimes it’s nice to realize he can go wherever he wants with no penalty. Not being chained to one major, learning what he wants on his own time, and no deadlines as far as the eye can see? The only downside is he had to be literally dead to experience it.

It’s raining, which of course doesn’t matter, and Roger makes his way from the science building over to the design hall, hands in his pockets and eyes cast to the sky.

“How is it,” a voice says behind him, “that you barely made it to class while you were alive, but now that you’re dead you can’t stay away?”

“I liked sleep,” Roger says, deadpan, but chases it with a grin. “Come off, I was a good student. Don’t be jealous.”

Crystal ruffles his hair, bangs pouring over into his eyes. Roger swats at him and kicks his ankle.

“You look like an angry tomcat,” is the reply as Chris Taylor steps to the side, gracefully avoiding tripping over the curb. Roger sees it, and still manages to stumble a bit as he straightens his hair.

“And whose fault is that anyway?”

“Yours you twit, shoulda cut it when you had the chance.”

Roger shoves him further into the street, then fluffs his hair with a saunter. “Looking a little green there, Chris.”

“You wish.”

They walk in amicable silence, the rain easing up to a light mist. Students and professors alike brave the slick sidewalks, some with their bags over their manicured hair, others just bothering with their upturned collars. For a time, reflex caught Roger doing the same, but he’s long since moved past it. Now the chill is only imagined, and if he closes his eyes, sometimes he can pretend he can feel the moisture as it tickles his cheeks.

When he opens them, he sees a striking head of damp curls, and walks into a pole.

“Forget how to walk through ‘em, mate?” Crystal says on a laugh, hand out to steady him. Roger, holding his aching face, spins and hides behind the closest thing he can find, which is a post box.

Crystal now, naturally, thinks his friend had lost his mind.

“Also forget the part where they can't see you?”

“Shut up,” Roger grouses, but doesn't rise. “Of all the bloody odds.” Is the man stalking him? Can you die twice? Is he legitimately insane?

While Roger is enjoying a spiritual and emotional crisis, Crystal calls out over his head, “oh, hello, John. Ignore him, he’s off his rocker today.”

Roger stands up so fast his hair gets in his mouth. “Deaky!”

Said man is staring at him with one delicate brow arched, hands on his hips as he looks at him with thinly veiled judgement. Before he can speak, however, Roger steamrolls over him.

“It's him! With the hair, and long fingers!”

Too much, and too high-pitched.

“Oh, so it is. Small world.” He sounds like Roger's just told him a fun fact about marsupials.

“Damn it, John!” There is zero shame in stomping his foot in a situation like this.

“Okay, someone planning on filling me in?” Crystal asks, waving his hands for emphasis.

“See that student over there, mess of curly hair?” John points him out as he hops the curb and makes his way over to the quad, indifferent to the drizzle overhead. “Looks like he’s going to the library, Roger. That's perfect.”

“Nothing about this is perfect.” He resolutely turns his back on the man, arms crossed and feet planted.

The look that John gives him is withering. “Rog here has an admirer.”

Crystal blinks. “That bloke's dead? Looked pretty alive and well to me.”

“He does indeed.”

“Listen, the two of you,” Roger all but shouts, turning on them with a glare. “If I have to hunt him down and prove to you that what happened yesterday was a fluke, then fine.”

John waves his hand in front of him, a beckoning gesture of royalty. “By all means.”

The noise that comes out of Roger's mouth is, quite frankly, inhuman, but away he goes. John and Crystal follow, the former a picture of calm and the latter of confusion. The head of hair and long legs they're following has a quick stride, but they see him duck into the uni library easily enough. Roger manages to walk through the door and not into it, so that's helpful at least, and soon they're face to face with the familiar Imperial London College library.

“He's over there,” John says, pointing over Roger's shoulder. Sure enough, he’s at an old mahogany desk, pulling papers out of his waterlogged bag.

Before either of them can saying anything more to piss him off, Roger walks toward him, doing his best to ignore the butterflies beating hell on his ribcage.

“Uh, hey.”

Roger would like nothing more than to sink into the floor.

The man looks up, mouth slightly ajar, eyes lighting up in recognition after a moment’s pause. “Oh, hi,” he says, tone light with mild surprise. There's dots of dew still clinging to his curly locks, haloing his head like so many stars.

Roger stares, licks his lips, and says absolutely nothing. He can still see him. He can still see him. John is right, or maybe Crystal is, maybe he's insane. Maybe his eyes just aren't working right, or he just died recently and doesn't know he's dead, god, wouldn't that be tragic -

One thought cuts through the chaos, errant but demanding. It means something.

“Just,” Roger blurts, a little too loud for the setting, and a little too delayed for normal conversation. “Wanted to apologize for yesterday. Saw you from the biology section and figured I should, y’know. Was a little off, yesterday, felt stupid.”

Every word comes easier, and by now the bemused grin is natural.

The man, whose expression had been rather locked tight, eases. He smiles, a little thing, and says “no harm done. You alright then? Seemed a bit shaken up.”

“Yeah - yeah no, I'm fine,” Roger says quickly, tucking one hand deep in his pocket. “Weird day is all. Got a bad habit of not looking where I'm going half the time, drives my mates nuts.” Under normal circumstances, anyone bumping into him like might've resulted in a fistfight on a bad day, a brash insult on a good one. But those weren't exactly those sort of circumstances.

“I'm Roger, by the way, Roger Taylor.” Holding his hand out over the desk is one of the easiest and hardest things he thinks he's ever done. Simple, but the fear of rejection has never been so poignant. What will he do, if his hand just keeps on going, passing straight through?

“Brian May. A pleasure.”

His grip is soft and warm, and Roger makes sure to let go before it becomes awkward, even though he never wants to. His fingers tingle as his hand drops to his sides. To keep from saying something ridiculous like how are you so pretty or thanks for touching me, he asks, “I don't think I've seen you around, what do you study?”

“Oh,” Brian says, eyebrows up as he looks down at his notes and the two big books they're resting on. “Astrophysics. Interplanetary dust, actually. Got the midterm coming up, so,” he adds, waving a hand at the notes. Roger is only half listening, thoughts still focused on the feel of his hand in his.

“Right,” Roger says. “Mine are too.”

He hears a muffled “oh Lord” behind him, and it takes everything in his power not to turn around and glare. “Should probably get back to it, actually,” he says, raking a hand through his hair. “Hopefully I'll see you around?”

“Definitely. Good luck on yours,” Brian says with a sweet smile. His downcast eyes don't really feel like a dismissal, especially when, as Roger turns, he looks back up at him and quirks another smile, almost like a secret.

Roger is incredibly fucked.

The Coffee Prince Pt. 1

Word Count: 2.6K

T’Challa x Reader

Plot:  Stuck in your ways of living, one day at the coffee shop, you run into a tall dark roast that threatens to wake you up from your romantic hibernation.

You are a notorious homebody; your laptop, bed, and streaming sites are all you need make a Friday night litty titty and you took pride in your introversion.  Growing up, school is all about who you know, what clique you are a part of, what parties you get invited to, clothes you wear, etc.  It was tiring on your psyche back then, and some complexes had formed due to all of that keeping up the the jones’ crap.  Nobody has time for that when you’re an adult, so you fully enveloped your true hermit lifestyle.  Then this nigga comes along, 6’0, adorable accent, beautifully crafted body draped in the finest clothes. Intelligent, with a crooked smile that could light a fire underwater.  

Y’all first met in line waiting to get coffee.  You had your headphones in, common defense to make sure no one fucks with you on a regular basis.  Once you made your order, you stood off to the side waiting for you order.  He was next but when the barista had a look on her face that was completely confused and more than annoyed.  You let one earbud hang as this intrigued you, especially since this was a white barista and a Black man at a Starbucks you had to make sure everything was cool, for the culture.  By the time you had an available ear, he was waving his hand at the exasperated worker and walking toward the area you stood.  

He looked at you for a moment as he made his way over, and you gave that tight smile that said ‘I am friendly but don’t expect anything more than this smile’, instinctively.  He nodded in your direction and stood about five feet from you.  

“Order for…..” the male barista squinting at his own writing.  “Uhhh, caramel macchiato, double shot?”

“That’s mine!  Thanks!”  you stepped up to the counter to pick up your drink, but checking him out your fellow patron in your peripheral.  You turn to take a quick sip and steal a glance at the same time, noticing him giving you a sideways smile before saying, “You too, huh?”

His accent caught you off guard for a second before you computed what he said.  It wasn’t hard to comprehend, but it’s very noticeable.

“Oh, yeah, I get this drink all the time.  Not like I’m here everyday, but…”

“Order for Thomas!” the male barista says loudly.

He walks up to the counter grabbing his cup.  He goes over to the side table to pick up some sugar, napkins, and a stirrer.  You follow picking up some napkins, before he begins again.

“I mean the barista; he has a problem reading your name.  He didn’t even try.”  He says as he add the sugar.

“Yeah, which could be a blessing or an insult.  But I’m used to it.”  You both share a sip of your caffeinated concoctions.

“But what was the problem with your name?  Was she not able to get past your accent or something?”

“What accent?”  He said, with a serious look.

You almost choke on your coffee when he said this.  What accent?  Did you just strike up a conversation with one of those people that went into a coma and woke up talking different?  You would get the cute and crazy type of nigga.

“Umm, I don’t know…” you stutter.

He looks away laughing to himself, “I’m only kidding.  My apologies for startling you.”  He says with a slight bow to you.

You nod in return to him, “It’s ok, I’m pretty damn gullible at times.  Good one!”

He smiles down at his cup, “Thanks, but my accent was not primary issue, no.  It was my name, like you.  So I just gave her the name Thomas to move things along.” he says bringing the cup to his mouth again.  You notice the length of his fingers…and no ring.

“Ah, I’m always nervous about giving a fake name.  Like, if they check my card and it isn’t the same they’ll question me or refuse service or something.”

“Oh, I didn’t think it would ever get that serious; it’s not a military base.”

You give a side eye, “How long have you been in America?”

He smiles, nodding, “I’m learning new things everyday.  But it’s been a little over a year now.”

“Are you from an African country?”

“Yes, a small village  near the central, eastern part.”

“Nice.  That’s so cool to know where you’re from, ancestrally.  It seems like everyone reps their set. But I still can’t get past the Southern states.”

He nods, checking his timepiece next to a beaded bracelet around his wrist.

“Oh, I’m sorry, if you need to be somewhere.  I’m not usually talkative with strangers.”

His mouth goes agape for a moment, “Well I don't think we could call ourselves strangers.  We are bonded by the oppression of our caffeine dealers who refuse to look us in the eye or remember our names.”  He holds his cup out and you meet his to cheers.  You feel a jolt when your finger brushes his.

“But I must confess that I do have other engagements to attend to, so please forgive me.”

“No, no problem at all, I’m needing to get back to the office.  But see you around!”  You do a quick about-face and walk away quickly after that, giving no time for a response.

Once you made it down the street, your heart palpitations start to subside but now the self deprecation begins.  Why did you talk so much?  And the worst part, all that conversation and you’re left with more questions than answers.  Where in Africa is he from?  What did he do for a living?  Him telling you he had a prior engagement was your way in!  OR would that have been too nosy?  No phone number, or an attempt to get one.  Y’all were highkey vibing and you got no questions in to gage his status or if he was willing to see you somewhere else.  And the biggest sin:  What the hell is his damn name?!  Thomas was a fake name. But the conversation never led to the real one, or yours.  You can’t even look him up!  And who the hell knows when you’ll see him again, so good job.

You text your friend when you get back to your office.

Girl!  I ran into this fiiiiine man at the coffee shop.

A few minutes later she responds,  Yaaaass!  Did you talk to him?

Child, yes. I don’t know what got into me.

Well hopefully him in a minute.  What did you say to him?

Lol, I thought he was being racially profiled so I am really in his business but it turns out the coffee girl couldn’t understand him.  He’s kind of foreign.

Oooh, that foreign though??  Where he reppin?

Somewhere in Africa, I didn’t get a country.

The motherland?  Was he wearing them sandals and shit?

I didn’t even notice! I feel like I would’ve if he was but idk.

Well which country is he from?

Idk!  I know I shoulda asked but I was caught up, not thinking straight.  

Well, is he light skinned with good hair or nah?

Ok, now don’t ask it like that.  He not light skinned but his hair was beautifully trimmed.

Ok, so he probably right on the equator then.  Well look at you, tryna get you an African King lol did you get the number though?

Noooo, so I don’t even know if I’ll see him again girl.  I fucked up!

Lmaooo, GIRL!  Well, don’t worry about it.  One thing about coffee shops is that they get regulars often so you’ll probably run into again but don’t be obsessive…

Truuuuue, if it’s meant to be, it will be.  I don’t get obsessive though.

Girl, you already planning your future for a practically imaginary relationship, I know you! Lol  Keep it together and live your life, but this was good practice for you.

Yeah it was.  I never approach guys but this was exciting!

You put your phone down and finish up your afternoon reports.  But the thought of “Thomas”  was still in the back of your brain.  He was soooo cute to you, but with your track record he could’ve easily been gay, taken, or just being nice with no other intentions.  But the universe owed you a win.  It had been so damn long since you had a thing to go to your friends about.  

At the end of your shift, you go straight home, kicking your shoes off at the door.

“Hey Tavia!”  You yell to your friend who is cooking something you wish was your meal in the kitchen.  Smells like some chicken or spaghetti thing.

“Wassup Queen Mother!  I was going to get rose petals but they too damn expensive for a joke.”

“Right, don’t try it!”

You make your way to your room, closing the door and taking a much needed breath.  You kick off your pants and and shirt, swan diving onto your bed in your undergarments.  The stress of the day just melts as you lay there and breath in your lavender and peppermint scented air from your oil diffuser.   You slowly peel yourself up from your covers and load up your laptop.  Checking your social media and queueing up some music as usual, you look around your room.  It’s completely cluttered with clothes from the week piled in the corner.  Your hamper is overflowing, as well as your trash.  Suddenly, you feel a sense of purpose, cleaning and straightening your hoarding mess.  When your shuffle hit a bop, the clean up became especially fun as you sang along and shook that thang as you picked through dirty clothes and maybe-one-more-wear clothes.  

Now that you have some order to your area, you have space that you didn’t have before.  Looking around with pride, you catch your reflection in the mirror, draws and all.  You touch your stomach, tracing the dark brown stretch marks that crack through your skin around your concave belly button.  Pushing down on your love handles, you iron out the folds to be smoother from your waist to your hips.  Your breasts are of a decent size as far as the numbers game goes, but the do not sit perkily in front of you, and a cleavage still takes effort to achieve since they sit apart from each other.  Dreadfully, you turn sideways to check your body from the profile.  Your belly hangs in front of you instead of flat like you’ve always prayed for since childhood.  The deep fold from your back to your side sneers at you.  Your ass isn’t non-existent but if only your waist was smaller, that could make those hips and cheeks really pop.

You had been giving yourself mantra pep talks on a regular basis to keep toxic thoughts from entering your brain.  You look up at the notes lining your walls.  “Keep your head up.”  “You are a Warrior.”  “You are beautiful.”  You get it, people have told you the same things before, it’s just hard to convince yourself that you're not imagining things.  

Your mind still wanders on about your day.  When would you see something that fine again?  And if you do, the fuck are you going to do about it?  You start up your shuffle of bops and make your way to your closet.  You were going to curate some outfits to be a dick magnet.  No way in hell there’d be a question of his interest once you see him again.  Go over some lines in your head to break the ice, figure out how to touch his bicep in mid-conversation, shit like that.  It would work, he knows who you are...facially anyway.  You just gotta run into him again.

Next day, you make your way out the door a little early.  Making your way to the office, you get a head start on making your calls so you can make your way to the coffeeshop.  You put on a navy blue pencil skirt with a gold zipper going down the back.  You layered a mesh lace blouse over a black cami and black pumps.  You usually stick to flats but today was the first of many for change.  If it wasn't “Thomas” someone was gonna get a look at this new fit!  Opening the door, the bell jingles, announcing our arrival to the patrons.  You look cooly over the people in the shop, but no one was there you care to see.  Making your way up to the counter, you make your order and stand to wait.  You pull out your phone to mindlessly entertain yourself for a minute, looking p periodically to survey people entering.  Every jingle of the bell made your heart jump.  

“Order for Tom!”

You look up a little too quickly but are disappointed when some balding white men in cargo shorts picks up his order.  You have had enough, you almost walked out right then when your order gets called: the order, not your name.  Nearly out of breath from stress, you pick up your drink and leave in a rush.  Breathing in the outside air, your heart rate begins to slow in pace again but you have got to get back to work.  Fuck that shop, and fuck this mission.  You already missed your chance so what is the point of it all.  Going back home, you have a cloud over your head.  You throw your clothes over to a pile on the side and flop onto your bed.  You deserve happiness, you deserve love, but don't get wrapped up in fantasy.

You still go to the coffeeshop the next day, but that was for a snack because you didn’t give yourself time to fix yourself breakfast.  Still no Thomas.

You don’t go back to the shop the rest of the week, You can’t go broke over a crush, plus, you had really no other reason to go so, you stopped.

By next week, you feel a lot better about yourself and your blood pressure isn’t skyrocketing at the thought of entering the shop anymore.  You didn’t go in depth with Tavia about your problems since meeting Thomas because even if she gave the perfect encouraging friend response, you’d die of embarrassment for feeling so caught up on nada.  She was only slightly right:  you lowkey obsessed over that 5 minute interaction and broke down the details or what you did right and wrong.  It was terrible, and you knew it, so no need to be reminded.

You got an email about a happy hour promo at the shop, so you decide to go cash that in.  It’s a Wednesday and it's been an especially trying week.  You need to wash your hair, so you have them pulled back in in two struggle braids.   Simple cardigan over a white tank and black slacks with your trademark flats.  You pick up your order and sit on a nearby stool to catch the free wifi signal and download your favorite podcast to listen to back at the office.  

“Order for Thomas!”

You are unphased and not listening when you get up and see this 6’0 man picking up his drink and turning towards you.  He makes his way to the side table, and your heart literally stops pumping for a split second from the anxiety.  He hasn't seen you yet and he could easily leave very soon without your acknowledgment,  What if he doesn’t recognize you?  The L’s you could take outweigh the dubs by a mile.

You get up to go get an unnecessary sugar packet.

“Excuse me,” you say.

He looks to you and gives you a crooked smile.

*Part 2*

Other Works:

King Kil’mawalls

N’Jadaka’s Helpful Hands

T’akia

Commencement Day (Chadwick Boseman fic)

Some Weeks Are Better Than Others -- *Part 1* *Part 2* *Part 3* (M’BakuxReader fic)

TWO BROS CHILLIN’ IN AN ER FIVE FEET APART CAUSE THEY’RE NOT GAY

It should’ve been another simple victory for Mobius’ newfound hero, especially with his newly fire-forged friend at his side. Could he consider him that yet? If he didn’t yet, he would definitely consider after this win. And yet, when his attention was turned away from the Ark currently returning to its normal orbit, he caught sight of a small ring floating idly past him. Confusion set in, wondering how it got there, before realizing the other hedgehog was nowhere in sight. Dread then overcame him, rushing to grab the ring and quickly turning tail to catch sight of the other descending rapidly toward Mobius.

He could barely utter his name under his breath as he pushed himself forward, trying to catch up with him but barely managing. It wouldn’t stop him, he had to reach him. This wasn’t the ending he deserved, not when he just reached his clarity.

It was like a nightmare, he hoped he was growing closer, but he was nearly unmoving. Perhaps it was the panic, the time racing, his heart beating fast, the fear of the impact Shadow would face if Sonic failed. He felt something snap, pushing himself forward and barely catching the other as they hit Mobius’ atmosphere. Though the second phase set in: having to break enough ground in order to land safely. Sure, he was super, but Shadow also weighed him down a bit, and it threw him off to catch him with such impact. However there was no time to think, either he slowed his descent, or he was going to crash himself.

He tried what he could, moving against the force, though once he realized how much energy it took out of him, he soon stopped, knowing that he much rather preferred to crash in his super form. At this point, he braced it, still trying to slow himself and turning his back towards the ground, all the while holding Shadow close to him. Something did however, kick in last minute, avoiding direct impact from the ground and instead slamming them into a tree trunk.

Sonic then allowed his super form to fade, taking in what had conspired over the last five minutes. When he calmed his breathing, he then moved to make sure Shadow was okay, checking him over for any injuries or bruises. It turned out he’d most likely passed out from overpowering himself. Sonic himself was in no good shape, having hit the tree hard, but at least we was still intact.

“Looks like we should get you off to a hospital, maybe me too..” He spoke with a slight hint of fatigue in his voice, throwing off the usual carefree tone. He almost grunted as he picked up Shadow, sighing in astonishment at the event ridden week before kicking off in search.

—

One, two, three, four, turn. One, two, three, four, turn. Repetitive, over and over. Constant pacing, constant tapping. What was even going on in the ER? Were they prodding him with things?? Why was it taking so long? The waiting was killing him.

“I take it they won’t let you in yet?”

Sonic was stirred from his incessant fidgeting, looking up from the floor to meet the aqua blue gaze of the bat lady Knuckles constantly went on about. Something was off about her, but he couldn’t quite place it. Maybe it was because for the first time, she was showing something other than confidence in her appearance. There was slight concern in her expression. Everyone had freaked out upon hearing about their crash to Mobius, and they were quick to locate them. Sonic had just gotten out of a bandaging when Tails and Amy rushed in to embrace him. It wasn’t the most pleasant feeling physically, but knowing his friends cared so much about minor injuries comforted him. They were ride or die’s for sure. They’d long since gone home, but he supposed Rouge decided to stick around longer. It did seem like she was the only one Shadow really talked to.

“Yeah. They’re trying to figure out why he passed out all of a sudden, especially when he was exposed to all of that raw energy which..really shoulda protected him.” Sonic explained, absentmindedly rubbing the ring he’d caught on his wrist. He looked to it, almost in thought for a moment before realizing Rouge was also eyeing it a bit too curiously.

“Oh, I’m sorry..you two knew each other better. If it comforts you, you can have it!” Sonic offered, snapping the inhibitor ring off and holding it out with his famously friendly smile.

Though the bat politely declined, holding a hand out to stop him.

“Don’t worry about it. I have faith he’ll come to soon. When he does, someone has to give it back, and unfortunately I have to go soon. My boss back at HQ is expecting a report for Project Shadow on his desk before tomorrow morning, meaning I better do it by midnight, or else I’m definitely in trouble.”

“Ooh, deadlines..terrifying.” Sonic tried to lighten the mood, though it made him sound more like an adult that definitely needed an adulter adult to help him in life. He could tell in the way that Rouge flashed him an almost motherly smile, something he hadn’t seen before. He watched her turn then, her demeanor hesitant, knowing that she wouldn’t leave if she had the choice. Her and Shadow must’ve been close for her to linger like this. He hesitantly snapped the ring back on, his legs giving out momentarily as he slumped back in the chair behind him.

When she was gone, the waiting game was back on, and at first he tried a new approach, but it turned into a big mistake. Trying to convince himself he could sit in a chair with no prompted activity for more than five minutes was a joke. He even tried to pick up a magazine, but nothing worked, his thoughts kept going back to why they were making him wait so long.

At this point, he was about to walk over to the door and protest, raising a fist and about to knock before the door opened. The sudden need to stop his knocking motion caused him to stumble, nearly bumping into the doctor’s lower stomach. Though he quickly composed himself, flashing his friendly smile up to her.

“Sorry about that! Er- is..he allowed visitors? I’m the only one here so it won’t be anything overwhelming. I’m..kinda all he has right now.”

The doctor simply smiled down to him, looking to her clipboard before stepping aside for him. She almost jumped as she watched him quickly dart into the room.

It was like a heavy weight lifted from his chest seeing the other passed out on the hospital bed. At least he didn’t look like he was in pain, and that comforted him the most. Though he didn’t want to disturb him yet, if his guess was right, and he had an overexposure to power, he’d need all the sleep he could get. So he simply sat in the chair next to him, turning the tv on and quickly muting it with captions. He watched it for awhile, people recapping the events of earlier that day. Apparently they’d been spotted fighting the monster, it was good hearing people refer to Shadow as a hero. Despite what they’d been through in the last week, finding out Shadow’s story made him realize that he just needed some guidance. Mobius was new for him, and maybe if he helped him, things would look up from there.

—

Sonic woke up with a start, not realizing he’d passed out so quickly. He tried to remember where he’d ended up, wiping the drool from the side of his mouth before it registered that he’d fallen asleep watching tv. To be fair, he was exhausted after crashing to Mobius. His ears twitched tiredly as he leaned up against his arms, trying to gather himself before jumping back as he turned to see that Shadow was sitting up in his bed, a blank stare at the tv. Once he got over the initial shock of being in such a close vicinity to him, his gaze turned to observe him, noticing his arm slightly shaking as his finger tensely traced circles in the arm rests beside the bed. He didn’t think it best to question him yet, but where to start..?

“Why are we here..?”

Sonic focused his stare on his eyes now, that were still avoiding his gaze. He almost seemed in a dazed trance, but he figured it was probably from the medication. Did that affect someone like Shadow?

“Well ah..after we saved the Ark and Mobius, I think you were overexposed to power, so you were falling. I went after you after realizing you weren’t okay, and..we just barely missed a bad landing. I took you here because I was worried something was wrong that I couldn’t help and..well I guess you’re okay!”

Shadow simply nodded, finally turning his head as a small glint caught his eye. He noticed the ring on Sonic’s wrist, not moving, but Sonic could sense he wanted him to do something.

“Oh right, here. Rouge said you’d need this.”

He gently snapped it off, offering Shadow a small smile as he handed it over. His expression was still empty, simply placing his missing ring back on.

It was silent for a while after this, and Sonic had convinced himself that Shadow wanted him to leave at that point, though when he was about to get up, he spoke again.

“I hate these places..”

Sonic opened his mouth to ask why, but soon realized that was a mistake, only now knowing about his past. Instead he just looked in shock with an “O” shaped mouth, before closing it again and playing with his fingers. Another few moments passed, and Sonic finally mustered the courage to talk.

“Sorry, I’m not the best with feelings. Usually I just play it off with a joke but..I know that’s not your thing, and your problems are a lot bigger than most people’s.”

Sonic watched as his eyes lowered, looking to his hands, before he gently placed one over his left ring. His thumb brushed over the cold metal, his mind racing before his sharp exhale brought him back. He could tell that Shadow didn’t want to be here, especially with him. Yet..he didn’t leave, didn’t tell him to get out. It was almost as if he was trying to convince himself that he needed the company, perhaps something he wasn’t used to from anyone else.

“..they had a room just like this one on the Ark. We’d be there every seventh day. Every seventh day was..scary. We never knew what they’d tell us, sometimes it was good news, and other times not. But I never liked being there. Not because of being in the unknown, but because her optimism always broke me. She knew what she was going through, and yet she always faced it with a smile.”

Shadow paused, his fists clenching again, buried in the sheets this time. Sonic figured Shadow wasn’t one to show his emotions around others, though he never expected to see him like this. It was like watching glass crack. Under his seemingly calm facade was someone that needed to talk to someone else.

“She once told me that..even though I may or may not be the answer to her cure, she was still glad I was created. She called me her hero..but I don’t think I deserve that now..”

Sonic watched his posture change from stiff to loose, the nervous tracing of his thumb on his ring now growing slow and aimless.

“Well I think she’s a good judge of character.” Sonic spoke up finally, earning an almost surprised glance from the ultimate lifeform.

“Funny, I didn’t expect to hear that from you. What makes you say that, especially after what we’ve been through?”

Sonic simply smiled proudly at his question, leaning forward in his chair and leaning his head against his hand.

“Well for one, you helped me save the planet despite wanting to destroy it in the first place. You then nearly sacrificed yourself for that cause. Also, even though you’ve done evil things, you’re not evil. I mean maybe you’re more cut off from other people, whether it’s from being on Mobius for the first time, or it just being a personal preference. But I don’t think you mean any real harm, especially now knowing that that’s not you. I think you’re capable of anything, and that’s the best thing to be. Maria would be proud of you for how much you’ve learned since being here.”

Sonic watched Shadow tense at the name, immediately regretting his assumption of what Maria would think. Though he noticed his grip on the sheets loosening, a long exhale as he nodded.

“You make a fair point, faker. Even if I thought I messed up, she would always tell me that I had good in my heart. I just hope that from now on I can prove her right.”

“I know you can!” Sonic flashed his famous smile, earning an eye roll from Shadow.

“Okay okay, don’t shine that optimism on me.” He paused, his attention shifted to the television.

“..what’s that..?”

“Oh! That’s Mobius Music Network! They play music videos through the channel all day and people can tune in to listen to it!” Sonic happily explained, watching Shadow turn to him in confusion.

“..What’s a music video..?” He asked, earning a small laugh from Sonic before watching as he took the remote.

“Looks like I’ve got a lot to teach you. Good thing I’ve got time! I’ve always wanted to have a friend that knew nothing about rock. I have so many good bands to show you.” He continued excitedly, meeting Shadow’s surprised gaze.

“..friend..?”

An awkward smile came across Sonic’s face, retracting from his excited rambling.

“If that’s okay..? Unless of course, you prefer to take things slowly~” he smiled, leaning closer to the other, who merely shook his head.

“I can’t believe I’m actually saying this..but fine. I suppose Maria would want me to, and I owe you for saving me.”

He held his hand out, confusing Sonic for a moment before it hit him, shaking his hand with a smile.

“I won’t let you down!”

Shadow merely smiled, an almost genuine one, Were it not for his fatigue.

“Yeah..I figure you won’t.”

Those last three episodes of Steven Universe: a mini-essay

JUST FUCK ME UP

kevin party, donner party, what's the differenfe

hey guys, remember when lion disappeared? i legitimatedly don't. he ran off with connie or something and even though lars is probably in mortal peril and lion's the only way to get to him... naw don't need him. even though now steven's all worried bout lion he didn't give a shit enough earlier to search for him just for lion's own sake. nothing matters.

the party sadie and co fucked off to in the last episode and the tit-ular kevin party are not one and the same. why not? because none of this matters. nothing fucking matters. just... some stuff happens and none of it ever fucking lines up or amounts to fucking anything. why is this show still airing?

Kevin thinking Steven's name is Clarence is the best if not only joke this show has produced in the last like twenty episodes. Or thirty. How long has this season been going for? How many episodes does this show have?...

kevin is allergic to dog but lion is still here ok. the joke is he think lion it dog but the fact he hasn't like broke out in hives should maybe tell him something?.......

So the crux of this episode is, Kevin gives Steven this patriarchal man male romantic advice which basically amounts to "have a good time and don't be a sniveling soyball" and is entirely reasonable. But since this is Steven fucking Universe, it's clearly absolutely fucking terrible. I mean, maybe it's not the perfect solution for *this* particular situation, but why the fuck would he know that? Is he supposed to read Steven and Connie's fucking minds? Why does the feminist solution to problems so commonly require the male reading peoples' fucking minds? It's a perfectly fucking reasonable piece of general advice, and Kevin even seems to be at least the littlest bit actually concerned about Steven's love life issues beyond getting the cool quantum-tranny Stevonnie at his party... but no, he's gotta be wrong, because he's the designated small-time patriarchal oppressor and 84opposition to the gender revolution.

connie assumes that steven doesn't want to talk to her not because she's been bitching at him and been doing shit like accusing him of being friends with kevin leaving him to wonder what he's done wrong... but because he's friends with kevin, obviously. female accountability and logic at 0%

kevin doesn't know how to friends. are we supposed to hate him or feel sorry for him? ... never mind, both of those options are equally depressing with the way the show treats him.

connie likes steven's maximum soy pink polo shirt, because the way to get grils is to treat yourself like a defective woman who needs re-estrogenizing and soy yourself up. just fucking go cry at her and wear the soy clothes she bought you and drip snot upon her. bitches love snot and then even though steven said kevin had his heart broken and it looks like they have some sympathy for him connie goes "lol ofc he did" and he falls in the pool and they shit on him. fuck this gay earth the rebellion was a mistake homeworld did nothing wrong

So... what the fuck was the conflict here again? Seems like the only thing keeping Steven and Connie from making up was bad timing and mutual awkwardness. Did anyone learn anything from this, aside from Steven discovering he needs to get even more soyful if he wants to inject his gem cummies into a strong big-nosed short-haired minority female someday? Did any of this fucking matter?

Also, I've no idea if this is just fan conjecture or what, but apparently the "Sabina" (because yeah that's a name normal people hsve) who fucked Kevin up is actually the le mysterious pink-haired person mute lesbo who hit it off with Pearl forever ago and probably showed up again at some point in the last X episodes but I don't fucking remember it. You... you... how did you manage to make this even worse? So not only is Kevin terrible and wrong and evil for existing, and for hitting on hot five-gendered quasi-minority manchicks at parties, and for giving reasonable advice... he hit on a thicc pink turbo-lesbo and we're supposed to hate him for that, too. Just... how the fuck do I put this? It's like... stupid fucking cis straight normal fucking a white male, thinking this world is full of other normal people like yourself- the real Earth's population is 99% minority queer demigender faggosexuals, how dare you think you can get into a normal heterosexual relationship with a female of the species? He tried some normal human courtship instead of feminist-approved all-gendered-yet-female-oriented interactions fit only for mentally-deficient degenerate aliens, so he deserved to have his heart trampled on. She's a stryng fymyle fat womyn person, you fucking piece of shit, not some thing for you to treat like (an object/your property/an animal/whatever) by treating her like a normal human being. You're shit, normies are shit, and treating a transcendant gender-goddyss as equal to yourself is oppressive. Or... some fucking shit like that. fuck i don't know whatever

-

c'mon plot it's time to go the fuck back into space already!!! It occurs to me that Connie (probably, I don't fucking know) knew all this time Lars was trapped in spacedanger and Lion was the only thing Steven or anyone else on Earth could use to rescue him, but she decided to fuck off with him anyway. Because why? Because her selfish little emotional snit over Steven valuing her life is more important than Lars' own fucking life? Remind me, why are we supposed to like Connie again? Also why did Lion stay with her this entire time anyway? Usually he just fucks off and does whatever he wants. He never wandered back to Steven?

Connie immediately shows her ignorance and downplays the situation as a fun and funny adventure, steven and connie in space o ho ho! an attitude which hey you know might be conducive to PEOPLE THINKING YOU'RE NOT FUCKING FIT TO HANDLE YOURSELF IN SPACE AND THEY SHOULD LEAVE WITHOUT YOU TO PROTECT YOU... Pretty fucking retarded thing to say after all that bitching about... no, wait a minute, Connie never said anything about being treated like Steven's equal or being coddled, did she? I mean, she barely said anything about anything because this was an underdeveloped aborted fetus of an arc, but the entire crux of this disagreement really was just... #

god fluorite still creeps me the fuck out. She's basically some magna-tranny that's gone through eight different transitions of like three genders each and gained a new fat roll for each one. Is this supposed to make me like "diverse" people? Because it's not working. Every single second of her vocal drone grating across my eardrums makes me want ever more to perpetuate a holocaust against the legbutt people. Eugh. two children are all we need to save lars, don't bother bringing garnet or any of those other fucking main characters we have lying around or anything naw fuckit

On some level I almost enjoy how few fucks Lars has come to give, even doing shit like spouting the aesop he was just given as a kewl one-liner as he (kind of) trounces the bad guy... but still, it's all off-screen development that raises a lot of questions. Maybe it's just the change in environment and the lack of anyone to try and impress (the shitgems sure as hell aren't the cool kids) that's brought this out of him- that almost makes sense, but there's nothing indicating that's the case... or anything's the case, really. Maybe it's just some kind of tangential stockholm syndrome where I'm happy to see something actually fucking happening, I don't fucking know.

also how did they steal the ship? they """explain""" but... they really don't. They're just that good because take our word for it lars is really happy for those clean pants. how much did he shit himself over the past couple weeks

And then shit gets terrible again. Lars is more triggered over sadie than his own parents... because of fucking course he is. No, she wasn't worried sick, she was faffing around whining about having to do your work for you or having to work at all and then fucking quitting her job to go become a marxist rock guitarist. Hey, remember the purple cake incident? Lars was legitimately fucked up over his social anxiety and his inability to hang with the cool kids despite wanting so badly to do so, so Sadie just fucking around with them like it's nothing because she really is barely worried about his wellbeing... yeah, I think that shit's gonna fuck him up a little bit.

But no, Steven basically just... tells him to get the fuck over it. Because, like, he's not there so she can do whatever the fuck she wants, immediately. Fuck is this shit? Like all of five minutes into the episode Steven just starts fucking explaining this shitty twisted aesop to both Lars and the audience. Yeah man, you go die in space, your gf can immediately go do everything you ever angsted over with ease and I'll come rub it in your face and you should just fucking get over it because u totes love her that much, lol. *You* aren't entitled to your own emotions.

Oh and then Steven compares Sadie's faffing to Lars's fucking comandeering a space ship in order to keep himself alive. Because the woman's feelsies are equivalent to the man's fucking life. Guys, what the fuck am I watching?...

I think this is one of those... things... this show does, where it at first vaguely approaches something that would pass for a normal human cognitive outputting, but then turns, farts in your face like that sexy alien from Star Wars and flits off like Tinkerbell leaving you confused and asmellied. Where in an attempt to create an unthought new aesop never before cognizized by mankind it ends up with a bizarre twisted mess.

At the very least Steven maybe shoulda thought twice before bringing some of those photos. "Oh, look how well your abusive not-gf has been doing without you! Befriending everyone you ever wanted to befriend but couldn't because you need a fucking therapist! Yeah that'll make him feel better". Hey, remember when Steven was empathic, you guise? I mean that being thrown the fuck out was part of what defines this arc, but come on...

It also severely hurts the thing that it's played out so fast. Lars is #triggered by the photos, okay, but then Steven immediately gets on his case and REEEEEs at him for... trying to destroy Sadie's something or other, because I don;t fucking know feminism is the radical idea that a man's emotional freedom is so disgusting it'll destroy a pure beautiful deserving woman from a distance of a thousand light-years in a fucking instant- Calm your fucking tits, Steven Sugar, we're in the middle of fucking space, Lars has no way of destroying Sadie's whatever the fuck it was he was supposed to be destroying. Let him have his knee-jerk reaction. Also, all of a week or a month away from your best friend slash romantic interest is enough you should expect she's moved on from you completely. Okay.

... Hey, wait a minute, I thought Kevin Praty taught us that sniveling was the way to get all the pretty wymyn? What might have changed between then and now, a difference of one entire episode? ... No, really, I have no fucking clue. This time, the contradiction is so fucking incoherent I can't even turn it into "because Sugar and feminists like her place female emotions above all else". The only way I can see it is if shitting on certain types of males is equal to or higher than muh womans, as the Kevin Party incident was twisted specifically to work at Kevin's expense. ... It's funny how this runs completely opposite what I'd think most people would find healthy. If the person you're hurt over is nowhere fucking near you then get it out of your system, but don't go dumping all your emotional baggage on them at a fucking party. This show wants us to bottle up our emotions when there's no fucking reason to at all but mainline emotional diarrhea in the most inappropriate of situations. what is this shit?

lol the crew are made so fucking useless just by a single fucking photo phone just take it from him One of the shitgems calls Stevvie "friends"... plural. they aren't a singular "they". SOC JUS FAUX PAS

man i can;t believe stevonnie;s fucking dead to bad the show ended here guys i guess homeworld can just go take over the world now. it's better this way

-

This was apparently some sort of special event called "Stranded", but the stranding only lasts one episode. Oooooookay.

This one is entirely just a nitpick, but I find it so strangely interesting from a writing perspective that I just can't leave it out... The "everything is broken" joke is like three lines long and two lines two long. Stevonnie is like, man what's broken and we're shown the readout from the ship showing everything flashing red, okay... and then she's like, ohhh man wow look almost everything it broken?? who expect that ha ha. And then she says, at least the screen works... and that immediately gets broken. Ha haaaaa. I dunno bout you, but I woulda laughed more if they'd just cut it short- have Stevonnie see the screen and go "oh, everything" or even just "oh", in that high-pitched, slightly breathy tone of voice that says "well, shit". Then crash. Boom, short sweet and to the point and gives you like ten more seconds this episode to spend on the plot of the epi- oh wait

Stevonnie is stranded on spaceplanet because no communications, but... xei have magic. Just... shoot some magic fireworks or start a magic fire for smoke signals. Or a normal fire, even. If the problem is that random new green gem will also find you if you do this... actually mention that. Steven and Connie don't even seem to consider sending a physical signal of any kind, even though it should be an obvious idea.

And then Stevenconnie just... finds a random alien species? And casually eats it? This... this just raises so many questions... Throughout the entire run of this show up until this date, the only alien species we've seen has been the gems. The center of the entire show, something that's been continually developed (if not consistently, coherently or well)- there's a decent amount of thought put into how these lifeforms that're completely unlike anything on Earth function, both in biology and society, with some degree of interplay between the two. The show was kept focused on the effects of Rose's rebellion and events related to it, and we avoided all the extra thought, logic and possible scientific plot holes that would be brought into existence by trying to create and balance multiple forms if alien life from multiple different origins. But now they just... dumped this stuff on in there? Because why

This is at once the first new alien species we've seen since the very beginning of the show, the first organic species, the first animalistic/non-sentient species, and the first found in it's alien habitat... and not only are a fucking bunch of them all introduced at once, they're thrown in casually and Stevonnie fucking eats most of them. What the fuck? There's no thought put into these things either, they're just a bunch of wacky squacky animals mainly comprised of random Earth animal parts. There's no logic to how they work, why they exist, how they evolved like this, they're just... wacky funny animals for no reason. Fuck you. After the series up until this point has focused on developing one species with an entirely different biology, history and culture from humans, with all of those things to at least some degree influencing or connected to each other, seeing these critters introduced just at random with no logic or context is incredibly jarring. This was such a fucking bad idea...

Also Stevonne eats the fucking fruits and animals and drinks the water because all planets just have human-compatible food species and good old motherfucking H2O I guess

stevonnie has more stubble than steven ever did because i hate life and i hate everything. this is disgusting. It's even distributed weirdly; instead of being on ziouir's chin it spreads up either side of zoidrgh's face and actually on to the cheeks. And we just have to see it's fugly little cheekstubble for the entire fucking rest of the episode. gagh

And then we get to this... really weird dream sequence where some really weird writing decisions are made. It starts off in Connie's house with Connie's mom... uh, rising up out of the carpeting, but Stevonnie identifies them as "my house" and "my mom". Stevonnie is both Steven and Connie, but given we're used to Steven being the main character and usual viewpoint throughout the entire series this comes off as though it's Steven saying this is "his house/mom". But, you know, they're not. And for any fan who's not devoted enough to commit to memory which character's household interior this is, it's misleading until Connie's mom shows up and then confusing after that. Why the fuck did the writers decide to write the scene like this? Why not have Stevonnie go "my, uh, your, uh, Connie's house" or some shit? Or just remove this part entirely because it gets really weird when the mom starts talking about EXTERMINATING ORGANIC LIFE and setvonnie notices nothing. Then the mom turns into this... weird brownwashed minority fusion version of YD with a big ol' jellyglob of Conmom's hair slapped onto the back of her head. What is this shit? if you're going to make it a meaningful dream you can't just do random shit like that. stop mixing messages. Just... stop. why did they choose to do this, and with Conmom specifically? If it's supposed to imply PD and YD's relationship is like Connie and her mom's... well first of all, that doesn;t fucking work because PD is nothing like Connie at all. But ignoring that, if it's supposed to imply YD is some sort of a parental figure to PD... why Connie's mom? She's not particularly important, and we don;t know her all that well. If it's not a comparison to her specifically and it's just that she parent... why Connie;s mom? Of all the parental figures in the show, because... I don't know, this is dumb fuck this

Though once that shit stops I actually almost like this dream sequence. Having our main character taking the place of PD in the dream, reliving her memories, it not being clear we "are" PD and that Stevonnie is acting out this memory rather than acting under xfer own will until we get to the mirror scene, where Stevonnie punches the reflection of PD while their own appearance remains the same... that's pretty fucking nice. This might also be a manifestation of that Stockholm syndrome I mentioned earlier, though. PD wants things and is frustrated with her current situation. She tries to get what she wants by bitching at someone else to give it to her, sure, but the way she storms off on her own and punches the mirror implies she wants to change things, there's just something holding her back. She has a trajectory. Apparently the fnadom hates her for being a brat, but I almost like her. ..... bets are open on how long it takes for the writers to completely fuck this up.

and then steven and connie just go home and who fucking cares nothing mattersfuck this show

... It seems the fandom has latched on to PD being an off-color because she's small (because height is a color what the fuck is that term why is it that). Like the rich family that hides their embarrassing retarded offspring in the basement, I guess. (i still crackship lars with kevin by the way)