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boxwinebaddie · 3 months

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wait... does jers know hebrew?

jersey knows hebrew!!! sheila raised him to be a Noise Jewish Buoy.

he also went to hebrew school and temple every weekend growing up, but tbh, learning how read/write hebrew, being on top of his class and the best student in hebrew school was less about kyle being passionate about his heritage and was more about winning and being the best at any given task or trade. in a similarly unhealthy sense, pursuing shabbat every saturday was more of a control thing, an ocd trigger, a routine and regimen that he felt he needed to complete.

also not to peddle/push the downright false agenda that kyle actively attempts to seek out conversations with his peers or even wants to engage with other human beings at all, but a lot of kyle’s relatives, specifically the older ones, only speak yiddish or understand hebrew, so over the course of several childhood birthdays, seder dinners, and passovers passed, kyle developed a fluency for his family members.

speaking of jewish holidays and such tho, at thirteen, kyle had his bar mitzvah ( stan was supposed to come ofc, but something came up ), spoke a lot of hebrew during that ofc, but as a present, zayde and bubbe got kyle a star of david necklace so that jers could keep the faith w/ him at all times. literally. bc when kyle was at his heaviest, that chain was basically a choker and the clasp got stuck/rusted over so kyle...couldn’t get it off.

basically, stan's iconic everyday cartoon character necklace is the mysterious sexy vampy emo boy red glass heart shaped vial necklace n ky's is the lil gold star of david chain/pendant from zayde & bubbe.

on the topic of cartoon character boy things tho and specifically jersey kyle and his canon sp show outfit, i will say that when jersey goes for runs ( specifically in the summer when its hot ) or goes kick boxing with tweek, he does revisit his high school roots and wears the beat up white tank top, gold star of david chain, baggy good will jeans and sneakers. i’m not sure if he gels his hair back anymore ( that was such a big hs phase for him ) but he does put it back in a ponytail sometimes so it doesn’t get in his way when he’s exercising.

please note the white tank top is sometimes the ‘talk nerdy to me’ tank top that bebe got him as a joke for his birthday bc like, he’s exercising, who cares.

...stan cares.

stan cares…A Lot. ;)

bc the talk nerdy to me white tank top is the jerseykyle equivalent of stan wearing the support rock fuck a rockstar tank top. they r hating.

and ohhhh my god when jersey comes back from the boxing studio glistening with sweat, spitting his mouth guard into the case, all fired up bc he was just gettin all that aggression out, punching and kicking shit, releasing lots of catharsis, with his accent all heavy, swearing very liberally in yiddish, still cussing out the other cars on the road… ft. stan like i need u to do...Horrible Things to me. on every surface.

sorry, getting my mind out of the gutter, i swear! but kyle can def speak hebrew and while he swore he would never become his mother...he literally developed all her little yiddish mom sayings by accident, calls ike bubbeleh, constantly uses the schmatta to wipe schmutz of stans face, calls everyone a fucken dummkopf, says oy vey and oy gevault waaay too much. i love jersey he is so cuteeeee in his lil star of david apron, hand on hip, kochlefl in the other, making dinner shakin his head like ya betta wash ya Hands, nasty boy!

bonus hc: when stan goes off to college he actually takes hebrew as his elective class to try and impress kyle shsjs he is sooooooo fkn bad at it tho like the same way that jersey can’t roll his rs, raven cannot do the glottal stops. it’s so fucking funny oh my god. it’s ok kyle gives him private lessons. he requires…a lot of support & multiple sessions.

i honestly think that if they do actually decide to get married and conform to the standards of society for the hell of it; jerseykyles vows are in spanish and ravenstans are in hebrew <3 ;-;

-uncle nina, jew jersey kyle broflovski supremacy

#i feel like recently he hasn’t been a v good jew or that’s what i said in #chapter three of rm like he stopped having time for temple #doesn’t really read the torah or speak hebrew v much anymore #he kinda lost the faith & he’s a cynic so religion is hard for him #after stan died he figured like if there was a god #and that god took stan away from him he must be cruel #or that there was no god bc no truly benevolent thing could let something so evil and merciless happen #every once and a while kyle does pray but it’s more of a #hey god or whatever is up there i am not sure if ur real #my stupid cat ate a glow stick and im scared he’s gonna die #i like to think he revisits his faith post rm bc when stan comes back #his faith i. humanity and in general is restored #raveseys kid nova also speaks hebrew and spanish btw #ALSO JERSEY WEARING THE TALK NERDY TO ME TANK TOP THE LOW RISE JEANS AND PUTTING HIS HAIR BACK #W THE STAR OF DAVID CHAN NECKLACE #OH MY GODDDDDD IT IS LIKE NIGARA FALLS IN THEIR APARTMENT FOR STANLEY MARSH IM NOT EVEN KIDDING #him and craig got invited to sit in once…don’t ask them the color of anything like for a pacifist stan was ABT that violence!#bad boy mean streets street brawler gangsta scary attack dog new jersey kyle just one chance stan is like plssss beat my ass #i just know his accent is sooooo like the Is He Botha’rin Ya Sweethaught??? We Gotta Fuken Problem Here or What?!#anyways...jail #stan coming back in from the gym swearing and sweaty whipping his hair out of the hair tie all like stanley u would naught Believe!!#these hitsigers today the fucken aduacity of these chazers like can anyone FUCKEN drive these days?? just me??? hoooly shit #and stans just in his big emo boy teeshirt and shorts playing nintendo switch all heart eyes has no idea what kyles sayin #stan every day like god i love my really scary really hot super best boyfriend like he rly is down so horrendously 4 feral kyle

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svtskneecaps · 6 days

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literally it's 3am where i live and i'm on mobile but FUCK IT i haven't posted any actual writing in like a YEAR on this blog whose description include the words "I WRITE" and i can't tell if i'm even going anywhere with this so fuck it under the cut is the prospective absolute mess of the first chapter of the flipo family time loop fic. (for clarity, flipo family as in slime, mariana, and juanaflippa) this covers loop 0, aka the relevant parts of canon. words: 1630

parts of it i popped off with and other parts i hate; up to you to identify them. also the italics and other formatting got erased when i copy pasted and i'm re-adding all of it by hand so if i missed a spot, no i didn't. if i missed an accent on a letter in spanish that was a typo, if i missed a ¡ or ¿ that may have been on purpose.

oh and for obvious reasons, content warning for mentions and mild descriptions of child death and child murder. no blood, and most of it is a three word mention; i'd say the brief paragraph beginning "Tilín didn't scream" is most of the reason this warning exists.

Charlie Slimecicle stepped off the train.

He’d been hoping for a bright, sunny day to start their vacation, but was sorely disappointed. The portal had apparently taken them pretty far, since they’d gone from noon to night time. Talk about jetlag. They hadn’t even been on a plane.

“What happened to the other guys?” he wondered aloud as he stepped onto the platform.

“Yeah no clue,” Phil said, scanning the empty station. “Thought they’d meet us here.”

“Guys!” one of the Spanish speakers--Vegetta, he’d said, when they’d all met up at the first station--called, from a lectern at the wall. “There is a book!”

They crowded around as he read the instructions aloud--something about pressure plates, Slime wasn’t paying that close of attention. He was a little more preoccupied with making sure it only felt like his brain was dripping out of his ears. That would be kind of embarrassing.

Which was not to say that he wasn’t enjoying the constant onslaught of people talking over each other using words he may or may not understand. In fact, it was the opposite; he was frankly thriving in the absolute chaos that kicked back up around him as a timer appeared in the wrist communicators they’d been provided along with their tickets.

“Como se dice ‘we are going to die now’?” He giggled, chasing Phil and Fit to one end of the station.

“¡Vamos a morir!” shouted Spiderman, echoed seconds later by the black bear in the collared shirt.

Giddy over the high of attempting to use his high school foreign language for the first time maybe ever, Slime absolutely didn’t contribute much to solving the puzzle, and before long the sound of the timer ticking down was accompanied by a loud buzzing alarm.

“It’s been an honor!” he shrieked at the top of his lungs. “It’s been an honor!”

The bear ran past them again, shouting, “I’m going to die!” in English this time.

“Adiós amigos!” Slime yelled.

The countdown ended.

And then his communicator buzzed, and there was a video playing on the screen, showing a cartoonish yellow duck in front of a blurry beach stock photo. He skimmed it absently--some generic welcoming message and another side quest for them--distracted by Maximus audibly losing his shit laughing across the station.

“Come on, I’m trying to take a vacation, I gotta work now?” Fit complained. “This is ridiculous.”

Slime wanted to jump on that bit, but the message cut off with coordinates marred by static and the noise of the emergency weather alert system and he lost his train of thought completely.

“I got the English book!” Spreen called, holding it with two fingers like it had personally offended him.

“English leader,” Vegetta said, seeming to find that amusing.

“English leader.” Spreen laughed and flicked the book away. Slime stepped back but somehow it still nailed him in the chest.

“Guess I’m reading then,” he said cheerfully.

“In Spanish?” Maximus said.

“Um.”

Vegetta called something, backing across the plaza with the book open in his hands. Phil backed up to the wall.

“Here,” Phil instructed, “we’ll read it here.”

“Okay okay.” He flicked it open. “So we have to get water wheel planks--”

Their peace lasted a grand total of thirty seconds as voices suddenly began shouting, overlapping in chaotic chorus.

“What is that?” Fit demanded.

“Is that coming from the other side?” Phil stared up at the top of the wall.

“This is the thinnest thick wall I’ve ever seen,” Slime said, giddy laughter bubbling out of him again. “Is this thing made out of pencil shavings? If I sneeze on it, is there gonna be a hole?”

“Nevermind, we’ll read it over here.” Phil dragged them away again, but the Spanish speakers were dispersing into the trees.

“Forget the book,” Fit said, “follow them!”

(In the end it was explosives that took the wall down, which in hindsight was a precursor to how a not insignificant portion of time on the island was spent. The first day, however, it was just funny, much like everything else.)

(That was to say, the first first day.)

The communicator had indicated that today there was something special planned, so he made an extra effort to wake up.

“Morning Jaiden!” he called to his upstairs neighbor.

“Hi Charlie!” He could hear her farming through the wall. “Glad you woke up on time!”

“Well you know, you know, El Backflipo couldn’t miss it,” he joked, sifting through his backpack. “Got any spare food? I’ll trade you uno backflipo.”

“I have so much toast, come here and get some, free of charge.”

With a quick backflip and some toast to start the day, he popped open the map.

“There’s a lot of people down the wall,” he noted, their green dots so clustered they formed one. “Wanna check it out?”

“Yeah sure.” Jaiden tossed some seeds into a chest. “Do you know what this event’s gonna be?”

“I have no idea,” he admitted cheerfully.

She laughed. “Yeah, me neither. I guess there’s an egg involved, but that’s all I know.”

He dug around in his backpack for a paraglider, nodding along. “Yeah, yeah, un huevo, I get you.” Shuffling the landmine from Vegetta to one side, he yanked out his glider and threw himself out her window. “Let’s go!”

(nothing like getting struck by lightning to wake a guy up in the morning)

Slime fiddled with the communicator as he waited for the line of people to get through the ticket machine; he already had his own, a nice B for Backflipo. The new live translations still boggled his mind. He had to fight the urge to chant weird shit under his breath, just to see what the bubbles would say.

He paid a little extra attention when Mariana walked up to the machine. That guy seemed cool. They’d done that pequeño dormir together on day one, and he had a good sense of humor. Egg parenting would probably be funny.

He was thrilled to see the B for Backflipo on the ticket Mariana stepped away with, even if Mariana was decidedly less so. This was gonna be good.

(it was, and it wasn’t)

So, Mariana wasn’t exactly the coparent of dreams. Then again, Slime was pretty sure Mariana could say the same about him. In fact he was pretty sure Mariana had said the same, but in Spanish, when he wasn’t checking the translation.

It was great. They thought they’d killed a child immediately and then decided to fake their own child’s death to get away with it, and then confessed their sins to a bilingual angel and built a farm and then he buried himself beneath an improvised cross and went into a coma until his sins were forgiven, or something, except his sins weren’t forgiven in time to save his own child’s life.

And then Juanaflippa was dead. Dead at Mariana’s hand.

His bitch wife killed their daughter.

(Everything went faster, after that.)

Slime wanted to kill him.

Slime wanted to kill him for killing their fucking daughter, but of course, Mariana couldn’t even be bothered to be around to take care of her alive, never mind to pay for his crimes when she died by his hand!

(in a better world, his rage started and ended there. in a better world, the anger fizzled out with the lack of a target.

this was not that world)

There couldn’t be an Egg Event with no eggs.

If he killed them all, it would bring her back.

(in a worse world, he succeeded. in a worse world, the Egg Event ended there.

this was not that world)

They held a trial.

If he won, it would bring her back.

(in another world, he didn’t convince them. in another world, they left his daughter in Hell.

this was not that world)

Tilín was still before she hit the ground.

Tilín didn’t scream. Maybe they didn’t have time. It happened so fast. He was sure it happened fast. Almost too fast. But everything went so fast, now, even though Flippa was back. Yet, time slowed down for this, like a rubberneck driving past a highway accident, watching him desperately trying to shock their heart back into motion.

“YOU KILL MY BEST FRIENDS,” Flippa wrote. He begged her to understand. She wrote, “i can’t believe it.”

She wrote, “I HATE YOU.”

(in a better world, the error would have been caught in April instead of July.

this was not that world)

His daughter fell to his bitch wife’s sword. The same way. The next day.

They’d only just gotten her back. And Mariana killed her again.

He only left eggxile for the funeral. She wouldn’t stay dead, but he had to be there.

Time went even faster after that. He was Gegg, or maybe Gegg was him, or maybe Gegg was Gegg, or maybe. . . ?

He went back to eggxile.

He wasn’t leaving without them. Tilín. Juanaflippa. He would do whatever was necessary. He would pray to any higher power. Lil J still owed him a goddamn favor, but the guy wouldn’t pick up his calls. Maybe if he put more shit in the shrine; angels liked shiny shit, didn’t they? He went back to the mine, where the gasses swirled in his head. He built the shrine. He mined. He built the shrine.

He went back to the mine.

“This is where I sit, this is where my bitch wife sits, and this is where my daughter sits, if I had one!”

He’d said that before. No he hadn’t. Yes he had.

No, he just needed to clear his head.

Charlie Slimecicle went back to the mine.

Charlie Slimecicle stepped off the train.

#qsmp #qsmp fanfiction #qsmp slimecicle #qsmp juanaflippa #won't tag his partner since he didn't get to star much in this part #this idea is at its core a flipo FAMILY fic though it starts out with slime #just. the problem is getting to that point. bc beyond these words i have like 500 more lmao #for anyone curious for directors commentary in the tags:#pequeño dormir' is on purpose; i figured that would be a mistake slime would make at day 14 on the island #i also omitted the ¿ and ¡ from slime's spanish dialogue for the same reason; it's as close to an actual accent as i can get in text #(accent as in accented speech not accented letter; speaking spanish with an american accent)#slime's quote at the end about where people sit is taken verbatim from one of his streams #at time of posting it is available on his vods channel titled 'we won the war. (qsmp)'#a lot of the day 1 dialogue and flippa's dialogue from tilín's death is also verbatim #oh and the sequence from the 'we won the war' vod carries a lot of weight in the idea (wasn't the spark but it filled some gaps)#for me the cave gases are what drives every loop; time rolls back whenever slime inhales too much gas and 'forgets'#i don't have exact mechanics about it but suffice it to say if ANYONE were to spend too much time in this random ass cave #they would also loop back in time; slime's just the one who in this timeline Happened to discover it #shut up vic #block game brainrot #yea idk i just liked some of the dialogue tbh i think this gets super messy after they get flippa and then brings it back around at the mine #it's got some messy pacing in that middle bit but the foundation of a time loop story is its loop 0 #that's what every loop after it has to call back to; that's the beauty of a time loop story #how is this different from loop 0; how is it the same #we've come so far only to get nowhere at all yknow #i'm a fan of stories rhyming but ESPECIALLY time loops so this is the setup for a lot of that #dude i gotta send this i've been sitting on parts of this draft for a year #may someone besides me read these words 🙏 thank you and goodnight #if people say nice things maybe i'll finally wring more words out of my brain. idk.#long tags

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