#he was clearly struggling with untreated mental illness and was also a product of his time so i'm not trying to cancel him or anything lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

galahadwilder · 5 years

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We Are Miraculous, Ch. 1: Exposed

We Are Miraculous Archive

Ladybug worries her lip with her teeth as she looks over the connecting cables. She knows which ones go where—she’s the one who added the ports to the yo-yo—but this moment isn’t one she’s been looking forward to.

She flips open the compact, positions it so she can see the screen, and mounts the webcam on the railing. She picked this roof because it’s about eight blocks from her house, so there’s no chance of anyone using context clues to guess her identity. The webcam’s USB cable slots into the yo-yo with ease; she wishes, just a little, that she’d had to struggle with it. Getting annoyed always calms her nerves for some reason, and this, right here, is the most nerve-wracking thing she’s ever done.

The webcam set up, she presses record on the yo-yo, then steps back into frame. She crosses her arms in front of herself, clutching her wrist, then thinks better of it and lets go. She raises her chin, takes a breath, and looks straight into the camera.

“My name is Ladybug,” she says. “And I have an anxiety disorder.”

It started with some jackass on TVi. There’d been a new study on PTSD in Akuma victims, and whether it increased the risk of repeated Akumatizations; Nadja Chamack had interviewed a few experts on psychology, and then this one guy—a municipal councilor the 16th Arrondissement, all the way across the city from the 21st where most Akuma attacks were concentrated—decided to open his big mouth.

“Obviously, the problem is the prevalence of untreated mental illness among Parisians,” he’d said. “Hawkmoth takes advantage of emotional instability. These loonies he targets are just as dangerous as he is—we should be devoting police efforts to keeping an eye on the people who are so clearly the most likely to be evilized—”

An actual expert cut him off at that moment—that was most definitely not how Akumatization worked, not even slightly—but the damage was already done.

By the end of the week, violence and discrimination against the neurodivergent had spiked. The Ladyblog was flooded with reports of “thwarted Akuma attacks” that were in fact just unprovoked violence, physical or verbal, against vulnerable people. With one stupid interview, anyone who showed a single sign of “otherness” in public had become a potential victim of an unforgiving public. Many people had become too afraid to go outside; some of them were missing vital treatments for fear of the kangaroo court of public opinion.

If Ladybug didn’t know any better, she’d say that Hawkmoth had paid off the guy. He couldn’t have created a better atmosphere for Akuma if he’d been trying. Given the ones she’d had to fight this week—most of them desperate, scared people who’d been offered an escape from the judgment—Hawkmoth was reveling in this.

That couldn’t fly. Ladybug couldn’t let it.

Now, on the roof, Ladybug looks into the webcam, breathes, and begins. “My name is Ladybug,” she says. “And I have an anxiety disorder.”

She has to take a moment, as her heart clenches and tugs her ribcage inward, before she can speak again. She looks away from the camera, her mouth open, unable to actually say anything.

She decides, in the moment, not to edit this out. It’s important. People need to see her struggling, people need to see that she’s like them.

Finally, she turns back to the camera, rubbing her temples. “If you’re watching this,” she says, “there’s a good chance that you, or someone you love, has a mental illness.” She closes her eyes, clenches her teeth, trying not to growl. “Édouard Caron has claimed that these people are dangerous. That they are targets for Hawkmoth.” Her arms fall to her sides, and she opens her eyes, raises her eyebrows, purses her lips. “Of course, that requires ignoring the fact that the vast majority of Akuma are caused by nothing of the sort.”

She steps forward, clenching a fist. “Chat Noir and I have repeated, again and again, that Akumatization is not the victim’s fault. Monsieur Caron: what you said on Monday was irresponsible, dangerous, and above all, false.” She turns away from the camera again, breathing in. “Most of my friends have been Akumatized, and they are, as far as I know, way more mentally stable than I am.”

The enormity of what she’s doing crashes in on her again, and she whimpers. “God, I wish Chat were here,” she says, clutching at her elbow.

She’d better leave that in the final product too.

She clears her throat, looks back at the camera. “My name is Ladybug,” she says. “And, like I said, I have an anxiety disorder.” She smiles. “Also, probably ADHD, but I haven’t had that checked.” She glances away again. “I have... panic episodes,” she mumbles. “Hyperfixations. I’m always worried about worst-case scenarios, even when they’re completely unreasonable. My friends always tell me I need to get out of my own head, but...” She snorts, looking back at the camera. “Easier said than done, right?”

She points at the camera. “Long story short. I am mentally ill. I take medication. If Monsieur Caron were correct, I should have been Akumatized multiple times already.” She grins. “Instead, I have actually driven off every Akuma that Hawkmoth tried to send after me, simply by willpower.” She raises a fist, clenches it. “Anxiety is my superpower,” she says, moving her hand to point at her temple. “Nothing Hawkmoth sends after me can ever be worse than what’s in my own brain.”

She turns around, hugs herself, and breathes. Almost done, she thinks. Just one more minute. Then you can get off camera and go grab some blankets.

She turns back to the camera. “Neurodivergence is not—not inherently dangerous,” she says. “Despite my anxiety, I’ve been entrusted with one of the greatest powers in the universe, and the responsibility to use it wisely. And as most anyone in Paris can tell you...” She spreads her arms. “I kind of have.” She blinks, slowly, breathes in, then out. “I ask everyone who watches this video to—to spread it, to show it to your friends. Édouard Caron is wrong. And if you’re like me...” She clutches her elbow again. “If your brain doesn’t always do what you want, remember that you aren’t alone. The Hero of Paris is with you.” She lets go, gives a quick wave. “Bug out!”

She sends the video straight to Alya as soon as it’s done editing. Alya’s response is an all-caps keysmash, and a rapid turnaround, posting the video straight to the front page of the Ladyblog. 2 hours and 10,000 hits later, Marinette’s heart finally stops clenching every time she reloads the page and sees another few hundred people have watched her expose her shame in front of the entire city, and she calms down enough to go to sleep.

“I can’t believe that asshole!” Alya screeches the next morning, slamming her phone onto the desk.

“Wha?” Marinette murmurs, lifting her head from the desk where she’s been taking a quick power nap.

Alya’s face is apoplexy-red—Marinette can see the veins popping on her forehead. “I just... I can’t...” Her right eye flutters closed, like she’d eaten something so sour she’d lost control of her face. “You know that asshole from the 16th Arrondissement who was calling for mass surveillance on the mentally ill?”

Marinette’s chest tightens. No. “Yeah,” she says, trying to keep her voice level. “I’ve heard of the guy.”

Alya shakes her head. “I just... Here,” she says, thrusting the phone into Marinette’s face.

Marinette looks down, and her entire body goes cold.

Caron Questions Hero’s Qualifications After Shocking Confession from Ladybug

“What an absolute ass,” Chloé growls from behind them. Alya nods along.

Marinette can’t breathe. It’s all she can do not to cry.

We Are Miraculous Archive

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cherrycamp64-blog · 6 years

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