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joelsgreys · 1 year

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to do the right thing l part iii

Post Outbreak!Joel Miller x Pregnant! Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: You go into labor earlier than expected in the QZ; Joel and Tess help you deliver the baby; after giving birth, you and Joel follow through with a heartbreaking decision.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. BOSTON QZ ERA. ((TW)) PREGNANCY, mentions and references to adoption. mentions of dead bodies, child death (not what you think), descriptions of childbirth. angst. soft, protective Joel.

word count: 7.9k

a/n: Please do not hate me. That is all. (:

June, 2020

Disposing of the infected was a shity job.

But then again, most of the civilian jobs in the Boston QZ were pretty fucking shitty.

Still. This particular one had to be the absolute shittiest of the shitty.

Having to haul dozens upon dozens of dead bodies, the accidental inhale of soot and smoke even through your makeshift mask, not to mention, the nauseating smell of burning human flesh—you’d hated getting assigned to this work detail before, but now that you were only just a few weeks shy of being nine months pregnant, it felt like actual fucking hell on earth. And, to make matters even worse, Joel had been asked by one of the officials to head over to a different site and work a different job at the very last minute. He wasn’t by your side to lend you a hand like he usually did. Before being forced by authorities to leave the site, Joel instructed you to find a familiar face and do whatever you could do to get someone to help you when you needed it.

Luckily, on the other side of the open fire pit, you’d spotted Kevin. A younger man in his early twenties, you knew Kevin was something of an avid pill popper and one of Joel’s secret regulars. In exchange for a couple of oxycodone pills that you produced from the pockets of Joel’s jacket you were wearing, he had agreed to help you haul the heavier bodies and toss them in the fire pit.

“You know, you used to be real strong,” Kevin mused out loud as he took the shoulders of a heftier male body. Through a labored grunt, he continued, “You never needed anybody's help.”

You narrowed your eyes at him as you took the lower half of the body into your arms, taking subtle care not to strain yourself to the point of hurting yourself—or the baby. “Shut up and move, Kevin.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Seriously, Kevin,” You managed to say to him through gritted teeth as you helped him carry the body. “I’ll throw in another fucking pill if you just shut the fuck up, how about that?”

“Never used to be so cranky, either. Jesus, Miller’s really rubbing off on you, isn’t he?”

Ignoring him, you inhaled a deep breath, exhaling it as you two lifted the body and flung it into the pit. As you turned back towards the canopied pickup truck for the next one, your eyes fell on the tiniest little body that you had ever seen and you simply froze, a chill running up the length of your spine.

While it wasn’t the first time that you’d ever had to dump the body of an infected child, this one had to be the smallest—the youngest. Though his head had been covered with a brown, burlap sack just like the rest of the bodies, anyone with two fucking eyes and half of one brain cell could guess that he was, at most, around the age of a toddler.

“Jesus,” You whispered, noticing the dirty, bloodied white bandage around his teeny little arm. That’s where he’d been infected.

Kevin’s voice came from behind you. “Oh come on, this can’t be your first time seeing a kid, right?”

Your mouth had gone as dry as sandpaper. “I—I’ve never seen one this young,” You told him, feeling your heart sink into your stomach. “He couldn’t have been older than three or something.” Unable to fathom what had to come next, you turned to Kevin and shook your head. “I’ll need you to do this one. I just can’t.”

“Sure thing, sweet cheeks.” He raised an eyebrow and looked around before lowering his voice. “Just as long as you go back home tonight and let that guarddog boyfriend of yours know how much I helped you out, you know, since he wasn’t around to do it himself.” He paused, his beady, dark little eyes twinkling in sheer delight. “Maybe a two for the price of one discount during our next business transaction would be an appropriate way for him to show me some gratitude?”

If Joel could see the smirk on Kevin’s face, he’d knock it right off with his fist.

“Greedy motherfucker, aren’t you?” You muttered under your breath, before finally nodding your head in agreement. “Fine. I’ll make sure Joel hooks it up on your next deal.” Fat chance of that happening.

Satisfied, Kevin grinned and pushed past you, picking up the child’s body.

Unable to bring yourself to watch him toss it into the roaring flames, you hurriedly walked around to the side of the pickup truck, yanking down the red bandana you used as a mask down from over your nose and mouth. Placing a hand on the side of the truck, you hunched over and closed your eyes for a brief second. “Jesus Christ,” You groaned in a whisper to yourself. “I think I’m going to be fucking sick.”

You half expected to toss your afternoon crackers right there onto the pavement in front of you. However, instead, just a split second later, you felt a sudden cramp in the middle of your pelvis—subtle, but still enough to make you wince. It was immediately followed by a feeling of intense pressure between your legs. Before your mind could even wrap itself around what was happening, there was a gush between your thighs, and warm liquid started trickling down the sides of your legs.

Shit.

Terrified, you glanced down.

Though they were dirty, you could distinctly see the wet patches on your faded, dark blue jeans. “No, no, no. This can’t be happening. It’s too fucking early—”

“Hey! What the hell are you doing over here? Who the fuck said you could stop and take a break?” One of the FEDRA officials who had been assigned to stand guard at the work site came up behind you, his weapon gripped tightly in his hands. When you whirled around to face him, his eyes fell and instantly noticed your soaked jeans. A look of disgust crossed his face. “Jesus. Did you just fucking piss yourself?”

“No—” You stopped yourself, realizing this could be your ticket out of there. “Yeah,” You replied, nodding your head, causing him to let out a repulsed noise. “Sorry. I just saw a little kid, must have made me—”

He held up one of his hands, stopping you. “Save it. I don’t give two shits,” he told you with a shake of his head. “Get your ass home right now and change your clothes, then come back. Make it quick. There’s still a lot of work to be done around here. Understood?”

You nodded again. The muscles in your pelvic area tightened and the feeling drew the tiniest of sharp breaths from you—your contractions were starting. “Yeah,” You managed to say to the official, keeping a straight face. “I’ll be back as fast as I can.”

He dismissively waved you away with his weapon and then stalked off back over to his post.

Letting out a small sigh of relief, you turned on your heel and started to make your way back to the apartment as quickly as possible.

Although the building was about a mile and a half up the road, it felt like you were trekking your way across the fucking country. You felt two more contractions along the way, and while their intensity was still pretty low in such an early stage of your labor, they still hurt like hell. They started around your lower back and gradually moved around to the front of your pelvis. You tried to push past the discomfort in order to get home as quick as possible, but every now and again, you found yourself having to stop in the middle of the sidewalk for just a brief second or two, only long enough to recollect and remind yourself that you needed to get a goddamn grip before someone noticed your strange behavior. Once the building finally came into your view, all you could do was silently pray that by some fucking miracle, Joel would be up there in that apartment, home from work detail.

Your prayer went unanswered.

When you opened the door to your quarters and walked inside, you’d found Tess home by herself. She was sitting at the table, sipping on a glass of whiskey and mindlessly flipping through a decades old newspaper.

“Tess,” You said her name, causing her to look up. “Where’s Joel?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“It’s fucking happening.”

Tess stared at you, her eyes widening slightly. “Wait, what?”

“The baby’s coming,” You informed her, pointing down to your damp jeans. Though you were panicking on the inside, you tried your best to remain as calm as humanly possible. “Where the fuck is Joel?”

Tess tossed aside her newspaper and stood up from the table. “I told you, I don’t know. I know he was reassigned but I’m not sure where—he sure as hell wasn’t with me.” She walked over to you, taking you by the elbow. She pulled you over towards the couch and helped you sit down. “I thought you said it would be at least a few more weeks before the baby came.”

You couldn’t help but shoot her an annoyed look. “Well, he’s coming now, Tess. And there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”

“How long ago did it start?”

“About half an hour ago, maybe. I was at the pits and my water broke after I saw—” You trailed off, deciding the details of what you had seen back at the work site weren’t necessary to disclose to her. “I’ve had a couple of contractions, but they’re pretty far apart.”

“It could be several hours before the baby comes, but there’s still no fucking way that we’ll be able to get you over to Bill and Frank’s in time.” Tess chewed anxiously on her bottom lip as she wracked her brain for any other possible options—it took her mere seconds to realize that there weren’t any other options. “You’re going to have to give birth here.”

“Fantastic,” You deadpanned, leaning back into the couch.

“Okay, here’s the deal. You stay put and I’m going to go out and find Joel. I know there’s a couple of places where he might have been assigned and if I’m right, I can be back with him quickly.” Tess pulled off her watch from her wrist. It was old and cracked, but otherwise, it still worked fine. “I need you to time your contractions. Try and be as accurate as possible.” She then reached into the back pocket of her jeans, producing a red handkerchief. She handed it to you along with the watch. “Listen. I know it’s going to hurt like hell, but you need to be as quiet as possible. Last thing we need is for someone to hear you and come running in here, especially while I’m gone. If you need to, you bite down on this to keep quiet, alright?”

You swallowed harshly, taking both of the items with nearly trembling fingers. “Alright.”

“Don’t worry. I’m going to find Joel and we’ll be back,” she promised you. “You stay right here, okay?”

“Because I’m such a fucking flight risk right now?”

“Even during labor, you’re still a fucking smartass, huh?” Tess rolled her eyes and reached for her jacket.

You watched her as she readied herself to take off. “Tess?”

“Yeah?”

“Hurry. Please.”

“Fuck,” You hissed, both of your hands planted on your lower back as you paced back and forth in the kitchen, trying your best to breathe your way through another contraction.

It had been over an hour and a half and Tess still hadn’t returned with Joel.

Your labor was progressing a lot quicker than you’d anticipated and while it could still be at least a couple more hours before the baby was born, you were still terrified at the mere thought of having to deliver him alone. You needed Joel—you didn’t want to have to do this without him.

“Jesus, fuck,” You cursed through clenched teeth. The waves of pain that were coming at you were almost enough to physically knock you off of your feet and right onto your ass. Tess had been smart to give you her handkerchief. During one particularly painful contraction, you’d shoved it into your mouth, muffling your cries of agony.

Another hour had passed and you were genuinely starting to believe that you were indeed going to have to give birth to the baby all alone in that apartment. “Where the fuck are you guys?” You mumbled to yourself. Perhaps something had happened to them—Joel and Tess had spent ample amounts of time in FEDRA lockup for the stunts that they pulled and it wouldn’t surprise you if they had gone and done something stupid, putting themselves behind bars for the night.

In an attempt to keep your mind from continuously wandering to worst case scenarios, you walked over to the kitchen sink and quickly filled up a large, chipped porcelain bowl with water. You rummaged around for the cleanest washcloth that you could find and then picked up the bowl in your hands, taking care not to spill as you hastily made your way around the single wall that divided the kitchen from the bedroom. You placed the bowl of water on top of the old, cherrywood dresser that separated yours and Joel’s bed from Tess’s bed and immediately started peeling off your dirty clothes. Wanting to hurry before another contraction came along, you dipped the cloth into the water and started running it all over your body, wiping away any soot and dirt that you’d brought home from the work site.

After you had finished cleaning yourself off as best as you possibly could under the circumstances, you searched through the drawers and grabbed one of Joel’s cleaner t-shirts, tugging it over your head. Even with the size of your swollen midsection, his shirt still fit you loosely enough, the hem of it falling to the top of your thighs. You’d finished just in time—another contraction starting coming on and you dropped down onto the bed, gripping the edge of the mattress as you hunched over in a world of hurt. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

As it subsided, the sound of the front door opening caused your head to snap up and your heart to skip a beat. Had you been too loud? Or perhaps a neighbor had walked by and heard you?

“Baby?” Joel’s deep voice filled the small apartment. When he appeared around the wall and saw you, a look of utter relief crossed his face and he rushed over to you, Tess following behind him. He crouched down in front of you, both of his hands flying up to the sides of your face. “M’sorry darlin’, I got here as fast I could—”

Though you could have nearly cried from happiness that he was right there in front of you, you found yourself snapping at him, “What took you so fucking long? It’s been fucking hours!”

Tess jumped to Joel’s defense. “I’m sorry, it’s on me! It’s my fault. It took me forever just to fucking find his ass and then we had to find a way to sneak him away from the work site without anyone noticing,” she explained, holding her hands up. “Not to mention, he was on the other end of the fucking QZ. We got here as fast as we could—how far apart are they coming?”

You winced. The truth was, you’d been so busy trying to get through the contractions that you hadn’t been timing them at all. “About that.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I gave you one fucking job—”

“Look, they’re still decently far apart by a few minutes.” You placed a hand on your stomach, suddenly admitting, “But I do feel the urge to push already.”

Joel’s hands slowly dropped from your face and he glanced over his shoulder and up at Tess, looking confused. “Think it’s time?”

She shook her head. “I know it’s going to feel like you need to push as you get closer, but don’t,” she warned you, firmly. “Not yet. They need to come closer together, about a minute to thirty seconds apart. If you start to push too early, you could hurt the baby. Or tear yourself apart.” Tess took off her jacket, tossing it on a nearby chair. “Joel, keep her as comfortable as you can. I’m going to start gathering some supplies. She may not be ready to push now, but I’m thinking within the hour, it’ll be time.”

“Within the hour?” You nearly squeaked.

Joel turned back to you and cupped your face again. The familiarity of his rough, calloused hands on your skin brought some calmness, not enough to completely take your fears away, but just enough that you were able to stay somewhat level headed, even through every single emotion that you were feeling. “Baby, I know you're scared,” he said, his thumb grazing against your cheek. “But I promise you, everythin’ is gonna be just fine, alright? Look at me, right here, look at me,” he urged as he held your face firmly in his hands, forcing you to meet his gaze. “You’re gonna be fine. I won’t let anythin’ happen to you.”

“Joel, it’s childbirth,” You reminded him, smiling wearily. “Don’t make a promise you don’t know if you can actually keep.”

Though he knew deep down inside that you had a point, he repeated himself. “I won’t let anythin’ happen to you. Okay?”

You offered him a small, meek nod. “Okay.”

Joel lifted himself, pressing his lips gently to yours. He pulled away, murmuring against your lips, “That’s my girl.”

The hour that followed had been nothing short of horrific—the pain had become almost unbearable by this point. There wasn’t a single inch of your entire body that wasn’t drenched, soaked in perspiration. Your hair was an absolute mess, plastered to your forehead and to the sides of your face. Tess sat on her bed, waiting on standby for when it was time to deliver. Meanwhile, Joel, could only hold your hand in his and watch helplessly as you tried not to cry out too loudly.

“Joel,” You nearly pleaded his name, as if pleading for him to take his gun and put you out of your misery.

“I know, baby, I know,” he murmured soothingly, squeezing your hand in both of his. “I know it hurts.”

“What if I can’t do this?”

“Sorry, sweet darlin’ but you don’t have much of a choice,” he reminded you. He looked and sounded so fucking tired, so fucking exhausted—and he was. He was exhausted from having to sit there and witness you hurt while there wasn’t a goddamn thing he could do about it.

Once the contractions started coming in at less than a minute apart, Tess checked you. “I can feel the head. It’s time to start pushing,” she announced. Rolling up the sleeves of her shirt up to her elbows, she started giving you instructions. “You’re going to bear all the way down into your bottom as hard as you can. We’ll do ten second counts with short, quick rests in between each push until he comes out. Alright?”

You just about panicked. “Joel—”

“M’right here,” he quickly assured you. “Not goin’ anywhere.”

During the process, Joel had decided to sit behind you, his long legs on either side of you as he held you up at just a couple degrees shy of a ninety degree angle. Tess kneeled on the mattress between your legs, holding your knees apart as she counted through each push out loud for you.

You sank your front teeth hard into your bottom lip, the coppery taste of blood filling your mouth as you tried your hardest from screaming out.

“One, two, three, four—” Tess counted the numbers aloud until she reached the number ten. She watched you as you released a breath, and tapped your knee gently. “Come on, we’re almost there. He’s right there, you’re so fucking close. The harder you push, the quicker this will all be over. So give me one more big, strong push, alright?”

Joel squeezed your shoulders, his lips at your ear as he whispered to you over and over again, “C’mon baby, we’re almost there. It’s almost over.”

You were completely spent, exhausted both physically and mentally beyond what mere words could even explain. Close or not, you simply didn’t have it in you to keep going.

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” You moaned, shaking your head as you slumped back against his chest, your head falling into his shoulder. Your body felt like it was just moments away from giving out on you. “I can’t do it, Joel. I just can’t fucking do this—”

“You can and you fucking will,” Tess all but snapped at you, forcing your knees further apart. “Come on, all I need is one more push. Just one fucking more.”

“But—”

“Baby, please,” Joel begged into your neck. “You have to do this.”

You whimpered. They were right—you didn’t have a choice.

“Okay. One more.” You gave a small, weak nod of your head.

Joel helped you sit back up into the previous position, using his body to help support yours. He kissed the back of your head, his hands on your shoulders again. “Good girl,” he praised, bracing himself to help you through the tail end of the delivery.

“Alright, let’s do this.” Tess positioned herself, her hands ready to receive the baby once he was born. “On the count of three. One, two, three—and push. Come on, that’s it. Come on.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you followed her encouraging words, bearing down as hard as you could muster while Joel counted you through that last strenuous push. “Baby’s out!” Tess nearly cried, and you quickly opened your eyes to see her holding the baby in her arms.

“Is he okay?” You panted, your chest heaving as you fought to catch your breath. Only mere seconds had passed, but already you found yourself in a state of anxiety over the fact that the baby hadn’t made a single sound yet. “He hasn’t cried—why hasn’t he cried?”

“She,” Tess corrected you, her eyes fixed on the newborn as she worked to clean her off with a damp washcloth. She rubbed her chest in quick, firm circles in an attempt to get her to take her first breath.

Your heart skipped a beat—you’d had a girl?

Behind you, Joel inhaled sharply, his body stiffening.

You watched in concern, your lips parted slightly at the sight before you. Not having the proper tools to clear the child’s airway, Tess tried everything and anything that she could think of to help the baby breathe. As the seconds turned into a minute, and then into two, your heart had all but climbed its way up your throat—never had you heard a silence so deafening.

“Tess,” Joel said her name, his tone dangerously low.

“Fuck Joel, I’m trying here!” Tess snapped at him. She let out a small, frustrated sigh and then turned the baby over onto her forearm. She started patting the infant’s back with her opposite hand. “Come on, sweetheart. Come on, you’re alright. Please breathe. Please—”

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the baby sputtered and let out a wet cough before a small, quick cry filled the entire apartment.

“Fuck,” You breathed out in complete and utter relief. You sagged back against Joel, who’d also released the breath he’d been holding.

“Shh,” Tess soothed her, flipping the baby back over and bouncing her in her arms in an attempt to quiet her.

Joel carefully climbed out from behind you, helping you to lean back, up against the wall. “You alright?”

“Better now that I know she’s okay.”

“She’s small, definitely at least a couple of weeks premature, but she looks healthy,” Tess observed. She single handedly clamped the cord, cutting it with a pair of sharp shears before she finished cleaning her off. She reached for the flannel throw blanket next to her, however upon picking it up, she had realized it wasn’t a blanket at all. It was Joel’s flannel jacket, the very same one that you’d worn for most of your pregnancy. But it had been washed the day before and it would do for the time being. Tess wrapped the baby in the jacket before easing her into your arms. Knowing that you’d never held a baby before, Tess reached out and maneuvered your arms, making sure that you were holding her properly, supporting her head and neck. “That’s it. There you go.”

Your heart swelled to twice its normal size inside of your chest and an inexplicable warmth radiated throughout every fiber of your being the moment you laid your eyes on her sweet, tiny little face. “Hi, there,” You cooed gently to her. “Welcome to the shitshow.”

Tess chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest. “Son of a bitch. We fucking did it.”

“What the hell do you mean we?” You rolled your eyes in a joking manner. The truth of the matter was that you would forever be in her debt for all that she had done to help you, not just through childbirth—through everything.

You then glanced over at Joel, who stood silently behind her, hands planted on his hips.

He said nothing, but his dark brown eyes were glued to the newborn.

Tess cleared her throat lightly, breaking the momentary silence that had suddenly fallen over the three of you. “I’ll give you a minute to take a breather while I go clean myself up. I’ll be back to show you how to feed her.”

She excused herself, heading off towards the kitchen.

Joel shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot. “You—uh, you sure you’re alright?”

“Mhm,” You replied with a nod, unable to contain the small smile that crossed your lips as you drank in the sight of the beautiful baby girl in your arms. She had been born with a head full of dark hair—instantly, she reminded you of Joel. “She’s so little.”

Joel said nothing.

Looking up, you noticed the way his eyes took her in—the same way yours did.

Part of you almost wanted to ask him if he wanted to hold her.

But you knew better.

“We’ll radio Bill and Frank tomorrow in the morning to let them know she’s here ,” Tess said, coming back into the room. She used a damp cloth to wipe away the blood and other fluids from her forearms. “As soon as you’re able to move, you’ll have to get her over to them.”

Your face fell slightly. “Wait, how soon are we talking?”

“Thinking maybe in a couple days—soon as you can walk.”

Your heart sank deeply into your chest.

Just a couple of days?

That’s all you would get with her?

Noticing the crestfallen expression on your face, Joel nodded. “Tess is right,” he agreed. “We can’t hide a cryin’ baby in this apartment for too long without someone catchin’ on. The sooner we get her over to Bill and Frank’s, the better.”

You somehow managed to swallow the lump of emotion that had risen in your throat as you looked back down at her tiny face—your daughter’s tiny face.

“Think of a name for her yet?” Tess asked you, tossing her dirty cloth aside.

Joel quickly stepped in and answered for you. “Best you don’t.”

“What?” You stared at him in disbelief. Although neither of you had discussed it, you’d thought that at the very least Joel would allow you to name your child—his child.

“The less attached you are to her, the better.” His tone was short, almost curt. “Less harder it’ll be.”

Even Tess was taken by surprise. “Joel, come on. Are you fucking seri—?”

He held up a hand to stop her. Whirling around on the hell of his boot, Joel said over his shoulder as he left the room, “I’ll be outside. Need some air.”

Your lips pressed together in a thin, tight line. “I guess he’s right.”

The mattress squeaked, shifting slightly as Tess took a seat right next to you on the bed. “You know it’s going to hurt him too,” she told you, quietly. “He’ll never admit it. But when the time comes, it’ll hurt him too.”

“I know,” You whispered, grazing the baby’s cheek lightly with the tip of your index finger.

“Joel loves you, you know.”

Tess’s words caught you by surprise. “Tess—don’t. You don’t need to do this.”

She laughed in spite of herself. “You know, I never thought that man could be capable of loving anyone else ever again, not in this life. Hell, I tried for fucking years just to get him to feel a fraction of what I felt for him and nothing.” Her voice became thick with the emotions that she’d undoubtedly been suppressing for the last few years. “I don’t know what is about you, what drew him to you. But he does love you. More than fucking anything.”

“He’ll probably never admit that either.”

Tess smiled sadly. “I know.”

The five hour trip on foot from the Boston QZ to Lincoln was one that you had gotten used to over the last couple of years, but this trip had been something of a struggle for you, to say the very least.

Between being only a couple of days postpartum, having to make frequent stops to feed the baby, and having her strapped tightly to your chest in a makeshift baby carrier—which in reality was actually just a bedsheet that wrapped around your upper body—you felt quite worn out by the time you and Joel finally made it to Bill and Frank’s.

“Come in, come in,” Frank placed a hand gently on your back as he ushered you inside of the house. “How are you doing? Are you okay?” He tossed a little glare over his shoulder at Joel. “Shame on you for making her walk three days after giving birth! Surely you could have waited at least a few more days before making the trip?”

Joel let out a small, impatient huff and rolled his eyes in response.

“We didn’t wanna risk being caught with her,” You quickly explained as he led you both into the living room. “Our walls are paper thin and she cries real loud. We didn’t wanna risk having the neighbors reporting us to FEDRA.”

“She’s a crier?” Bill, who kept his distance, scoffed. “Great.”

“Oh, stop it, Bill. I’m sure she’ll be a very good baby,” Frank waved his hand dismissively at him.

“Can you guys help me unwrap?” You asked, lightly tugging at the sheet. “This thing is so uncomfortable.”

Both Joel and Frank helped untie and remove it from around your body.

“Oh my word.” Frank’s hand flew to his mouth and tears instantly welled in his eyes as soon as saw her. “I never thought I’d see—” He trailed off, but you knew what he meant. He never thought he’d see another child ever again, much less a newborn baby. Frank knew better than to overstep or to push you too quickly, and despite his immediate urge to ask you if he could hold her already, he simply settled for lightly touching his fingertips to her tufts of soft, dark hair. “Oh, she’s so beautiful! Isn’t she beautiful, Bill?”

“Looks like an ordinary baby to me,” he grumbled, though as he eyed the child, there was a strange little glint in his eye. Bill, like Frank, also never thought that he’d ever see something like her again.

Frank sniffed, dabbing his tears away with the back of his hand. “Oh! I have some onesies from the boutique, let me grab one for you,” he stated, realizing that the baby was naked, with the exception of the improvised diaper you had her in. “She’s kind of small, even for a newborn. Do you think she came early?” He asked over his shoulder as he walked over to the other side of the room towards a pile of cardboard boxes. “I know it’s hard to tell what week you reached gestation.”

“We think so,” You said, carefully taking a seat on the couch. “She’s small, but she’s healthy. She eats well, she mostly sleeps through the night unless she wakes up hungry or needing to be changed.”

“Here.” Frank walked back over to you and handed you a cream colored onesie printed with yellow sunflowers. He also handed you a matching cloth diaper. “They’re preemie size, but I have a box of newborn sizes too if they’re too snug on her. You let me know what you think is best, alright?”

It didn’t take you very long to realize that Frank was allowing you just a taste of what it was like to properly and normally care for your baby, just like any mother would in a pre-outbreak world.

Part of you wished that he wouldn’t bother, but you still appreciated his kindness nonetheless.

Frank laid a soft, pink blanket on the couch for you to lay her on.

As you changed her, you felt Joel watching almost intently.

Since she’d been born, he still hadn’t held her. You didn’t take offense to it, nor did it hurt your feelings that he refused to touch her, because you knew how he was feeling—what he was feeling. You would often catch him stealing long, lingering glances at her whenever he’d think you weren’t paying attention. Deep down in your heart, you knew he ached to interact with her, that he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and give into his paternal instincts. But he was simply trying to make this process as painless for himself as possible. Joel didn’t want to risk developing any kind of attachment to her.

“Does she have a name?” Frank asked, holding his hands behind his back as he watched you button up the onesie. At this point, he was itching to hold her for the first time, but he wanted to respect what little time you had left to interact with her.

Sure, you would be able to see her every now and again, but Joel was adamant of keeping visits to a minimum.

“She doesn’t,” You replied in a soft voice. “We didn’t name her.”

Joel, who had taken a seat in the rocking chair next to the couch, raked a hand through his hair as Frank shot him glare, as if he knew whose idea it had been to not give her a name. “S’only right for you two to choose a name. We ain’t got no business givin’ her a name.”

“He’s right,” You said, before Frank could protest. “It’s best we leave that to you and Bill.”

Frank touched your shoulder. The sympathy in his eyes nearly made you burst into tears on the spot. Wanting to allow for a brief change of subject, he offered, “How about we all have a bite to eat? Hmm? Surely you must be starving after that long walk.”

You forced a small smile. Food was the last thing on your mind. “That would be nice,” you fibbed.

For the rest of the afternoon, you refused to put the baby down.

Your arms ached from holding her for so long—but you couldn’t care less. It was one ache that you would happily deal with for the rest of your natural born life if it meant never having to let her go.

Frank had been completely understanding of your desire to keep her with you for as long as you possibly could. Being the incredibly sweet, kind soul that he was, he showed you nothing but patience and didn’t question you, nor did he push you or grill you on whether or not you had changed your mind about leaving her in their care. Bill, being Bill, had muttered a few, passive aggressive incoherencies towards you under his breath over lunch—something about how for someone who claimed they wouldn’t have a problem giving up their baby, you sure as hell seemed to have a hard time letting her out of your grasp.

However, once the late afternoon finally rolled around, you knew that the time for you to say goodbye was on the horizon. As much as you fucking wished you could, there was no changing your mind, not if you wanted your daughter to live safely, happily.

“Bill? Frank? Do you think we can have a minute with her, just the two of us?” You asked them. You had all moved back into the living room after lunch. Knowing time was running out, you hoped that you and Joel could have one last moment alone with her before it was time to leave.

“Of course.” Frank nodded and tugged on Bill’s arm. “We’ll be out in the front yard—the plants need some watering.”

You shot him a tiny, grateful smile. As they disappeared, you leaned back into the couch and made yourself comfortable with the baby.

Joel, who sat over in the rocking chair as he had earlier, pursed his lips. “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” he said, shaking his head at you. “We really should just hand her over and go home.”

“It’s going to be hard no matter what, Joel. May as well enjoy her for a while longer.” You glanced down at her just as she started fussing herself awake. She looked up at you with her dark eyes. “Hello, sweet girl,” You greeted her in a soothing voice as she cooed.

Joel watched with a heaviness in his heart as you kissed the infant’s cheek delicately. How he wished you would just fucking listen to him.

“You’re going to be safe here,” You told her, lifting your hand to her hair; the ends were beginning to curl slightly. “I know you might grow up and have questions one day, and who knows, maybe when you’re all grown up, you’ll know the truth about everything and you’ll understand why we did what we did.” You paused. “This is the right thing to do, sweet girl. It's the best thing for you. Frank is going to make a great dad, and Bill—well, Bill is Bill. But I know you’ll have him wrapped around your little finger in no time. I promise there’s a softie underneath that grumpy exterior, just have to bring it out of him, is all.” Despite it all, you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

Joel craned his neck ever so slightly to get a better look at her. “She’s so alert,” he observed. “Y’know, for bein’ a couple days old and all.”

You glanced up at him. Somehow, you mustered up the courage to ask, “Joel? Do you want to hold her?”

Joel hesitated. But you were shocked he didn’t immediately decline.

That meant that he did.

You carefully stood up from the couch and slowly walked over to him. Giving her another kiss on the cheek, you held her out towards him.

Joel looked at her reluctantly, but then gave in and took her into his arms. He leaned his weight back into the chair and started rocking, knowing the movement would be soothing for the baby. “She’s got your nose,” he murmured, watching as the motion started luring her into another slumber.

“That head of hair is all you, though,” You told him with a tiny, sad smile. “I’m going to go get a glass of water from the kitchen. I’ll be right back.”

Moments later, when you’d returned, you stopped in your tracks out in the hallway when you heard Joel speaking. Furrowing your brows, you leaned your back against the wall and listened in to what he was saying.

“Hi babygirl,” he started, his voice low but gentle. “Everythin’ your mama just told you, well, she’s right. We’re doin’ this to keep you safe. We wanna give you a chance at a decent life. She doesn’t wanna give you up. Neither do I,” he confessed. “But we can’t—I can’t keep you safe. I can barely keep your mama safe most of the time, y’know.”

You hung your head, willing yourself to hold back the tears.

“I didn’t want you, at least not at first,” Joel continued to say, an ever so slight tremble to his voice. “Thought you were the biggest mistake we ever could’ve made. But now that you’re here and I’m holdin’ you in my arms, I realize I was wrong. I’m glad you’re here, babygirl. This world is ugly, but you remind me that there’s still beauty in it. Not a whole lot, but just enough to shine a little light in the darkness.”

Joel paused and as you peeked around into the living room, you saw him press his lips carefully to her cheek, right where you’d kissed her too. “You won’t be ours after today, but that doesn’t really matter. At the end of the day, you’re always gonna hold a place in my heart. Right next to your big sister. Alright?”

A tear slipped down your cheek, and you quickly wiped it away with the back of your free hand. As soon as you were certain that he’d said all he had needed to say, you walked into the living room and offered him a sip of your water, behaving as if you hadn’t just heard him pour his heart out to his baby daughter. Joel moved over onto the couch with you and for the next couple of hours, the two of you took turns holding her. By the time early evening arrived, you realized that you and Joel were really pushing it. And knowing Bill, you were absolutely overstaying your welcome.

“So, we just wanted to check in with you two,” Frank said tentatively, nervously wringing his hands together as walked into the room with a very unhappy Bill trailing behind him. “It’ll be getting dark soon.”

You and Joel stood from the couch; he handed the baby over to you.

Your heart lodged in your throat, you walked over to Frank and eased her into his arms. “Here you are.”

Taking a step backwards, you watched as he looked down at her, his face beaming.

“Fatherhood looks good on you,” You couldn’t help but tell him. And you meant it.

Frank was going to make the most incredible, loving father.

“Does it?” Although he was smiling, he sounded nervous.

“You’re going to be a natural,” You touched his arm lightly. “We know she’s going to be in the best possible care.” Dropping your hand back down to your side, you glanced over at Joel, who stood there silently, his jaw clenched. “We’d better be going.”

“You know you’re more than welcome to come and see her whenever you’d like,” Frank offered. “We really wouldn’t mind that.”

“Don’t take that too literally,” Bill gruffed behind him. “The less visits, the better.”

You nodded, your voice cracking slightly as you said, “We know.”

“Let’s get a move on.” Joel nudged you lightly with his elbow. Did you just hear his voice break a little too?

After one final goodbye, about five minutes later, you and Joel found yourselves on the other side of the fence.

Joel noticed the expression on your face. He could see you crumbling right in front of his very own eyes like a pastry. He didn’t know what to say or do to make it better—hell, he knew nothing was going to make it better. He wanted so badly to reach out and put his arms around you, but he was afraid that one touch would cause you to come undone. “C’mon, we need to get movin’ before it gets too late or we’ll freeze our asses off,” he reminded you quietly. He started leading the way, but turned around when he realized you weren’t following behind him. “Baby—”

And just like that, the sob you’d been fighting finally escaped you.

“I’m sorry, Joel,” You quickly shook your head, trying desperately to stop the tears, but it was too late.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s alright—”

Before Joel could reach out for you, you sank down to your knees on the gravel. You placed your hands over your mouth, trying to muffle the sound of your cries. You knew it would be hard, but nothing could have prepared you for the god awful feeling of leaving Bill and Frank’s empty handed, without your baby daughter in your arms.

Joel sighed softly and crouched down beside you, pulling you into his arms. “Shh, baby. I know,” he tried soothing you, one hand around your shoulders and the other gingerly stroking your hair. “I know.”

Though nightfall was fast approaching, he didn’t push you. He simply held you until you eventually ran out of tears and little hiccups were all that was left. “I’m so sorry.”

“Stop fuckin’ sayin’ you’re sorry,” Joel said, squeezing your body against his to keep you warm against the chilly, evening breeze. “You have nothin’ to be sorry for, alright?”

“It hurts. I know we did the right thing, but it hurts so fucking bad.”

Joel pulled away and looked down at you. The sadness was evident in his gaze. “We did do the right thing. She’s going to be safer here than she could ever be with us in the QZ,” he reminded you, as if you didn’t already know that. “At least here, she’ll be well fed. She’ll have running water. She’ll get to enjoy fresh, clean air. She’ll get to run around the front yard and play in the grass. She won’t have to walk home from fuckin’ FEDRA school past a fire pit full of burnin’ bodies every goddamn day.”

“Maybe it’s just me being selfish, but that doesn’t make it hurt any fucking less, Joel,” You confessed, the guilt causing a fresh batch of tears to brim your eyes. “I know we’ll still get the chance to see her every now and again, but it’s not enough. It won’t ever be enough for me.”

He leaned down, leaning his forehead against yours. “I know. Won’t ever be enough for me either.”

You closed your eyes, another tear finding its way down your cheek. “How the fuck are you supposed to go on when you feel like a part of your heart is missing?”

“You just do,” Joel whispered. “You just move on. Try to, anyway.” He rose to his feet and pulled you up with him. “When I lost Sarah, I had nothing. Nobody. Tommy wasn’t someone I could count on, he was too busy thinkin’ he could save the fuckin’ world.” He chuckled bitterly. “So I carried that grief with me for years, all on my own. Like the weight of a thousand bricks strapped to my fuckin’ back.”

“Joel…” You opened your eyes, your gazes meeting together.

He lightly brushed his lips against forehead. “You ain’t alone, darlin’. You have me and I ain’t gonna let you carry this pain alone. You understand me? Never.”

“I know that,” You choked out.

Joel pulled you against him once again, his arms wrapping themselves around you.

“I love you.”

It was just above a whisper, barely audible but you’d heard him.

Clutching fistfuls of his jacket, you buried your face into his chest, uttering, “I love you too.”

#joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tw pregnancy #fic: tdtrt

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creedslove · 11 months

Text

POOL PARTY ☀️

Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: Even though you're sick, you still went to Pedro's pool party - which you discovered was made only for you, you don't feel well, but you can't disappoint him by not taking a swim with him

Warnings: fluff with no plot, just fluff, a teeny tiny bit of angst and sexual tension, but again, fluff

A/N: this is silly and lame and definitely not the kind of story I usually love writing but I am sick and I need comfort so someone bring me pedro pascal over here so I can hug the hell outta him and tell him how precious he really is

2.4k words

You spent the whole morning thinking of a way you could say no to Pedro.

From the moment you woke up and felt your throat itchy at first, only to feel it burning and finally going completely sore in the symptoms of inflammation you were already so used to, to the sneezes that annoyed you every couple of minutes and the overall feeling you had just been hit by a truck made it pretty clear it was not the ideal day for a pool party.

You cursed yourself, the weather, your life, everything. Out of all the days in your life, why did you have to get sick exactly the day Pedro had invited you - and begged you to show up to a pool party?

You and Pedro were… complicated.

You were friends, like, real good friends at first. And then you became a couple, but you two decided being a couple wouldn't work. You hated the exposure he had, it wasn't his fault of course, but it baffled you how he handled going out for a coffee, for lunch, or simply walking down the street and being photographed and filmed all the time. You just didn't like the feeling you would have to watch your back every time so you could have a tiny bit of privacy. No holding hands, no kissing, just walking around like two acquaintances, either that or having your photo all over gossip websites, comments bombarding it all the time calling you and Pedro horrible things, fans claiming to being jealous and hating you for dating him, as he was supposed to be theirs and no one else's. It was too much.

On Pedro's part, it was hard to balance a relationship with his working schedule, he worked hard and that meant he was most of the time unavailable, unless you traveled with him to where he was shooting, which was impossible because you had your own life, your own job and as much as you would've become a trophy wife for him and only Pedro, you guys never got to this point.

The affection, the attraction and the spark was still there, so even after you broke up, you decided to be friends again.

But maybe, just maybe, you hugged too much, cuddled too much and kissed too much as friends.

And that was why most of his co-stars hated you.

Pedro always tried to be as discreet as possible, he never admitted bluntly though you never directly asked, you didn't have to, you knew him enough for that. He was a flirty little shit, he was handsome and sexy and they were always gorgeous. It was obvious he very often had affairs with them. And if he was in a near enough location and asked you to visit him, or if you bumped into each other at a restaurant or even if you went to a dinner party at his home and they happened to be there, they immediately hated you.

Not because of you though, you always acted nicely to anyone and it would be no exception to them, but you wouldn't kiss their ass just because they were famous either.

Of course you would keep your distance from Pedro if they were around. You wouldn't hug him as much or hold his hand but there was something there and neither of you could control it.

It was always exchanged glances, or inside jokes, it was obvious to everybody but the two of you, you were just two stubborn idiots in love.

You hadn't seen each other in over a month, he was all over the country working, shooting, attending events and you were on you well-deserved vacation, so when he finally went back home, he'd texted you about the pool party he was hosting.

Pedro knew you loved pool parties and you had spent countless hours swimming in his, so he was just so excited to have you over, he forgot to mention a small detail: you were his only guest.

You were also so eager to see him, you missed that man dearly and you thought he would be in Cannes enjoying the high life but when he told you he was back home you couldn't control your excitement. If it were up to you, you would've gone straight to his house or welcomed him at yours, it didn't matter, just to see each other. But the weekly appointments you had got the best of you and you forced yourself to wait for the weekend.

And then you woke up with a cold and you wanted to cry in frustration and sadness.

You could just not show up, but that was really not an option, and you could also tell him you were too sick to go, the only thing you'd have to face would be his puppy brown eyes looking at you as if you'd shattered his heart, and you didn't want that.

So you grabbed all the cold meds you had at home, took them in one dose, packed yourself a bag with your clothes and drove to his house. You figured Pedro would be distracted enough with his guests and he wouldn't mind if you just chilled on his couch, maybe watched something on TV and had some snacks before heading home, plus he would understand if you didn't dip yourself in the pool. Besides, if by any chance any co-star of his were there, he would probably pay much more attention to them in their tiny bikini than you anyways.

So when you arrived there and realized you were the only one, you thought you were too early or maybe you'd misread the invitation and screwed up the dates?

But there he was, Pedro in just his shorts and shirt, with a wide smile welcoming you to his place.

Your heart skipped a beat, he was so handsome and though he knew the effect he had on women - and men, and everybody really, you felt your heartache to know he didn't acknowledge how painfully handsome he was. He didn't see himself the way you did, and it was a shame because you saw him like the best thing that happened to you.

You couldn't help but smile back at him, grabbing your things and exiting the car.

He waited for you with his arms open, because Pedro didn't do formal greetings, he did hugs, and you loved it.

You flew to his arms and squealed as he wrapped his strong ones around your body, lifting you up softly and twirling you.

You giggled as he put you down and watched you. He really watched you. Taking his time observing you, as if you hadn't seen each other in years, when in reality it had been what? A month? Six weeks?

Still, you were so happy to be next to him you almost forgot about your cold. Almost, but eventually, you felt another sting on your throat and groaned frustrated, which made Pedro frown.

"I almost didn't make it, Pedro… I woke up like that" you said and pouted. He knew how much you hated getting sick. Not that anyone liked it, but you hated it, you often got so angry and cranky you couldn't even describe. You even avoided people when you were sick, as you didn't want to take down on them, but you could that to Pedro, you never avoided him and you were never rude to him.

He cupped his cheek and gave you such sweet lovely eyes.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, querida… you look a little pale, do you wanna lie down?" You chuckled how he offered you to lie down but didn't ask if you wanted to leave, because you knew there was no way he would let you leave.

You shook your head and entwined your fingers "it's alright, but I don't think I'll swim today" you smiled at him and looked around, looking for other cars, but there was only yours and Pedro's there. "Where's everybody?"

Pedro scratched the back of his neck and chuckled "well, you're the only one I invited…"

"Pedro, you do know the meaning of the word party, right? If it's just me, then why did you say there was a party?"

"Well, it is a party for my favorite girl…" he said adorably and you just couldn't resist him.

"Oh cariño" the nickname always brought a blush to his cheeks "if I weren't sick I would be kissing the shit outta you!" You laughed and walked inside with him.

Pedro's arm was tight wrapped around your waist as you eyed the pool and turned to him "you decorated the pool!!! You didn't have to do that!"

"Yes I did because it was supposed to be a pool party! I just didn't know you would be too sick to get inside" Pedro unconsciously stared at you with his puppy eyes and it made you feel guilty.

It was a very hot day, you were already sick, what could go wrong? It wouldn't get worse than that, would it?

So you sighed and smiled at him "fine, I guess I can't get sicker than this, so I'll get changed, will you wait for me to get inside?"

He nodded excitedly and grabbed himself a beer.

You ran to the bathroom, already familiar with his place and opened your bag, seeing the two options you brought: a bikini or a swimsuit. You went for the bikini, it usually made you shy to wear it among many people, but there was only you and Pedro there and well, since you'd seen each other naked many times, it wouldn't be a big deal.

You quickly changed and walked outside with your sunblock as Pedro had certainly forgotten his.

He was sat by the edge of the pool, feet dipped into water and wearing only his trunks.

You stood still and watched his body, he was looking so fine. He always did, but ever since he started the preparation for his new movie he got even more attractive.

You reminded yourself you were there to enjoy your friend's company and not lust after him.

You joined him and smiled "hey there handsome" you winked and coughed a little, feeling shy to be sick like that and got some sunblock on your hand, spreading it over his shoulder "you need to take care of your skin, handsome" you said sweetly and leaned in, which Pedro corresponded but frowned as you pecked his forehead instead.

He groaned softly and took some sunblock into his own hands and did the same on your back, mirroring your moves as you felt his big hands over your skin. And his hands were pretty big, almost as big as his…

You stopped yourself there and saw he was staring "maybe you should get this top off, you know, so you can get sunbathed properly" he suggested and you rolled your eyes.

Suddenly Pedro hugged you as tight as he could and threw himself into the water, dragging you with him as his weight caused you to fall.

He was so boyish you couldn't help yourself but laugh, seeing him swim towards you and wrap his arms again around your figure, pulling you closer.

Pedro was flirting with you as much as you flirted with him and though you shouldn't keep on doing that, you couldn't resist him. You wrapped your legs around his waist, your back to the edge of the pool so he could sustain your weight with no trouble. He laughed softly "I missed you a lot, princesa" he whispered and kissed your neck, making you groan, taking your hands to his cute wet hair and giggling.

"Fuck Pedro, don't tease me" you asked and saw him looking at you, he was admiring you and leaned towards you, but you quickly moved your head away, avoiding his lips and received disappointed eyes.

Your heart clenched, you didn't like seeing him like that, you would never refuse him, but you didn't want to kiss him, you were sick and he would get sick.

Pedro, on the other hand, felt disappointed. You'd been distant from him, you wouldn't kiss him and in his mind you had probably met someone better than him, even if your legs were wrapped around his body, sometimes it was so hard for him to believe you liked him.

His gripped around your body loosen and he sighed, letting go of you and looking down "sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" he said in a low tone but your hands quickly held his head in place.

"No honey, it's just that I am sick, if you kiss me you'll get sick too, and it's gonna be a problem for you when you go to work again" you tried to reason him and saw how his eyes softened.

His hand cupped your cheek and he swam closer again, one arm around your waist and ready to kiss you…

When you started coughing and couldn't stop.

You quickly turned away, your body shook as you were positive you had a fever now. You thought you couldn't get worse than you already were, but guess what, you were wrong.

"Shit, baby girl, come here" Pedro said, as he had managed to get off the pool and held a towel, helping you climb up the steps and wrapped it around your body.

"You take a warm shower and you'll lie in bed, got it princesa?" You nodded, shivering and walked back to his room.

You didn't take long in the shower, though the warm water felt really good as it poured down your body.

You managed to put your clothes back on after drying yourself and smiled as Pedro waited for you.

He made sure to get you comfortable in your bed and joined you. His arms were wrapped around your body and no matter if you told him many times he should stay away so you'd get him sick, he still refused it.

He held you close and rubbed your back up and down, making sure you were covered and warm.

"I know you don't wanna kiss me, but I was wondering if we could maybe go on a date, like a proper one, what do you say?" He asked with a small blush spread across his cheeks and you couldn't believe how sweet Pedro was, and for a second, you wanted to be selfish and kiss him as deep as you could, even if it meant he'd get sick later.

So you did it.

If he got sick, you'd take care of him, like he was taking care of you.

_____

A/N: idk I am just sick and I want Pedro to take care of me 😭

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal imagine #javier peña #javier pena #joel miller

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patscorner · 2 months

Text

For The Rest Of My Life

TW: fluff, and a teeny bit of angst if u squint

The red is what I got from the song, even though this is loosely referencing it.

______________________________

5 years. It's been 5 years since Chris begged his best friend, Nate, for your number. You all were in high school at the time, juniors, to be exact.

You remember it like it was yesterday, when Nate asked for your permission to give your number to Chris. You remember your heart beating out of your chest with anxiety and excitement, surprised that Chris even knew your name.

You said yes, of course. That night, Chris and you blossomed a love that nobody could break. Except yourselves.

The first time he kissed you, you were on your third date, sitting in the bed of your dad's truck, under the stars. Chris knew at that moment that he'd love you for the rest of his life.

The first time he met your mom, he was so nervous, scared that she'd hate him. But that quickly faded, as you were an exact replica of her, both personality wise and looks wise. He loved her so much as they both instantly clicked. Sometimes, you questioned if he was only with you to get to her cooking, a real staple in their relationship.

That question died down as he made you feel like you were the only girl in the world. He took you on small dates and he treated better than anyone else ever could.

Even for your first time having sex together, he made it more special than you could've ever imagined. He was slow and sweet, making sure you were comfortable with everything he was doing.

You were kids, of course, so neither of you knew how to communicate rationally when you're upset. If Chris was angry, you'd smile at him, and he hated it, but he stayed. If you were upset, Chris would try to help, but in the end, he'd be frustrated and leave you alone with your thoughts, and you hated it, but you stayed.

You both matured together. You both grew up together. You both had your glow up together. Through the ups and downs, you stuck together. Every weekend, you go to his house, or he'd go to yours, and those were the core memories that stuck with you.

Eventually, you graduated high school together, and you followed Chris and his brothers to LA. The triplets job in social media was both good and bad.

The good part was, that you'd been in videos since you were in high school, so everyone knew you as Y/N Sturniolo, which was incorrect, but you kinda liked the way the last name looked on you.

When you and Chris announced you were dating, the internet almost exploded. Some fans were confused, some were upset, but most were supportive.

The hate got to you at times, but Chris was always right there to help you. He was there to reassure you, and he was there to defend you against the people who hate from behind a screen.

5 years. You and Chris had been dating for 5 years. 5 years, building up to this moment.

You weren't in a public restaurant because Chris knew how much you hated unwanted and unnecessary public attention. He'd always hold you close to him when he was swarmed by teenage girls during your mall outings, making sure you were okay.

Chris suggested that you all go to Boston and invite both families to hang out, having a little get together.

You thought it was strange, but you complied. All 4 of you, as well as Madi and Laura, packed your bags and got on the flight to Boston.

You'd been there for about a week, and Chris had planned a bunch of stuff out. He paid for you and your mom to get your nails done, and he gave you money to go shopping at the mall. You couldn't be more grateful.

Little did you know. Today was the day.

____

"Good morning, ma." Chris's voice rang throughout the quiet room. The sun glistened through the curtain, painting the room a golden yellow. You rolled over and made eye contact with blue eyes.

As you take in your surroundings, you feel Chris's big hands on your back, rubbing small circles comfortingly.

You hummed in response. "Come on, you gotta get up. I planned some stuff for us to do today." His deep voice broke at the end of his sentence, earning a smile from you.

"What time is it?" You asked, your morning voice finally breaking free from your mouth.

Chris smiled. "7:30pm." You and Chris always take midday naps, but this one was more of an evening nap.

You groaned and playfully slapped Chris's chest lightly. "What if we just lay here?" You closed your eyes tightly.

Chris chuckled lightly. "What if I tell you I made food?" You opened one eye, scanning Chris's face for an explanation.

"I'd call bullshit. The house is still standing." You joke.

Chris laughs lightly. "Okay, fuck you kid. Get up before it gets cold." He kisses your temple before pulling the covers off himself and standing up to put a shirt on. "Get dressed. Casual clothing, we're going out." He smiled before walking out of the room.

You sigh as you follow suit, putting a black croptop on, with a white jacket. You put a pair of blue jeans on and your white Air Forces that Chris got you to match his.

You do your hair, brush your teeth, do your makeup, and put your earrings on before walking downstairs. Your jaw drops as you see your beautiful boyfriend sitting at the island, which is covered with all of your favorite foods.

"Wha- what's all this?" You ask as you move towards Chris slowly. He smiles as he stands up and approaches you. You meet in the middle, and he wraps his hands around your waist. You rest your arms around his neck, pulling yourself closer to him.

"Surprise, baby." He said, pulling you in to give you a sweet, passionate kiss.

You smile into the kiss. "What's this all for?" You ask, turning your head to admire the spread of food in front of you. Another thing Chris knew about you was that you were a foodie. No matter what you were doing, food would make it a hundred times better.

He shrugged, his face turning a light pink color. "I just felt like it." Is all he said.

You tilted your head in confusion but nodded nonetheless. "Thank you, baby. I love it." You smile.

"I knew you would." He leaned in to kiss your cheek. "Now, dig in. We gotta be there in an hour." He let go of your waist and guided you to the island.

"Be where?" You asked, sitting down at the island.

He shook his head and grinned. "You'll see."

______

"Chris, come on! Can I take this off now?" You said, pouting, tugging on the blindfold.

He laughed but kept his eyes on the road. He carrassed your thigh gently. "No, ma, but we're almost there."

You groan, putting your head back. "I've been in the dark so long." You whine loudly.

Chris laughs. "I know, I know, but I promise it's worth the wait."

You roll your eyes, even though he can't see them. "It better be." You grumble.

You feel the car be put in park. "See, we're here. Was that so hard, sweetheart?"

You cross your arms. "Yes." You lie, smiling.

Chris shakes his head. "Whatever. Let me get the door for you." You hear Chris open and close the door, leaving in a brief silence before you feel your door open.

You feel for Chris's arms, which immediately help you out of the car. He pulls you into a hug. "I love you, baby." He whispers, his voice quiet and shaky.

You cock your head in confusion. "I love you, too. Everything okay?"

You feel Chris lift the blindfold off your head, your eyes immediately shutting at the sudden brightness. "Damn, Chris." You mutter, rubbing your eyes.

He laughs lightly.

When your eyes adjust to the brightness, you see that you're in a park.

But it wasn't any park. It was the park where you and Chris both said your first 'I love yous'. The park that was above the beach, a place where you could park your car and watch the sunset.

This place held such a sensitive place in your heart, and it immediately tugged in your chest as you looked at Chris, who had tears in his eyes.

"Baby, what're we doing here?" You wipe his tears, and he laughs softly, wiping them as well. "I told myself I wasn't gonna cry yet."

You shake your head. "It's okay. What're you planning?"

He shook his head, grabbing your hand and walking you through the park. You approach a blanket with words written on it. You can't make out the word before Chris pulls you into him, as you both stand up in front of the sunset.

He wrapped his arms around your waist as your back pressed against his chest. He swayed you both back and forth as you both just relished each other's company for a while.

Eventually, he spoke. "Come on." He grabbed your hand, walking you to the blanket, where you can see the letter clearly now. It spelled out 'will you marry me?" In your favorite flower petals, because he knew you didn't like red. (Unless it's red, then replace with fav color)

You freeze and look at Chris, who is now kneeling in front of you with a ring.

You cover your mouth with your hands, tears threatening the fall.

Chris wiped his tears before his spoke, clearing his throat. "Y/n Y/l/n, I love you so much. I never knew I could ever feel this way about someone. I never knew I could be so happy." He choked, wiping his tears once more. "Fuck. Okay, okay. You're my strength and my weakness. You help me battle my demons, and so far, we're undefeated. After all these years, I still have a crush on you, and it's never faded."

He swallowed, not bothering to wipe his tears anymore. You're still standing in front of him in shock, listening to his proposal.

"I love you so much, and if you let me, I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life. And if you let me, we can start a family. And if you let me, I can call you my wife. So, Y/n Y/l/n... will you marry me?"

You stare at Chris for a moment longer before kneeling in his level and engulfing him in a hug. You both are an emotional mess, using each other for comfort.

You pull away and wipe your tears. Chris smiles. "Is that a yes?"

You nod, laughing tearfully. "Yes, yes, of course." You pull him into an emotional kiss before pulling away.

He attempted to slide the ring on your finger, but he was shaking. "Oh baby, you're shaking." You sniffle.

He smiles shyly, finally getting the ring on. "I know, I was nervous as fuck." You pull him into another hug as he stood up.

"I love you so much, Christopher." You say into the crook of his neck. He smiled. "I love you more. You have no idea."

You feel tears prick your eyes again, never feeling more loved. Chris looked at your glassy eyes, wiping the tears. "Don't cry again, or I'm gonna cry again." He says, his voice shaking.

You laugh. "I can't help it! I'm gonna get married!" You sigh.

"Well, get it the fuck together! I told Matt and Nick I wouldn't cry." He exclaimed jokingly.

You laugh, wiping his tears. "They didn't believe you, did they?"

Chris rolled his eyes. "Give me that ring back." You laugh as he grabbed your hand and pulled you back to the car.

"Where are we going?" You ask, buckling up.

"They're waiting for us at the restaurant." He said.

"What?"

He looked at you. "I love you so much, ma. I can't wait to be your husband." He smiled. Your face flushed as you leaned in to give him a deep, passionate kiss.

He smiled into the kiss. "If I get one of those every time I say that, don't expect any other words to come out of my mouth from now on."

You laugh as he puts the car in drive. After about 15 minutes, you arrive at the restaurant.

From the car, you can see yours and Chris's whole family through the window. You look at Chris. "How -"

He put his hand up. "Magician never reveals his secrets." You smile, getting out of the car, holding hands with Chris as you both walk into the building.

You walk in and the building went silent. All the eyes looked at you, but they didn't make you nervous, because you knew all of the familiar, comforting eyes look at you.

Chris clears his throat. You look at him before looking back at everyone. You smile and hold up your hand with the ring on it.

"I'm getting married!" You say, earning cheers and claps from the audience. Matt and Nick immediately walk up to Chris and give him a giant hug and say congratulations.

Matt pulled you into a comforting hug. "Did he cry?" He asked as he pulled away.

You smile. "Like a baby." You laugh, earning a laugh from Matt and Nick. Chris stared at you. "Snitch." He muttered.

Nick embraced you into a hug. "Congratulations. I'm surprised he managed to keep you after all these years." Nick shook his head. You laughed.

"Me too. But I wouldn't trade it for the world."

Nick cringed. "Corny." He smiled, shaking his head.

You smile, before saying goodbye and walking over to Chris, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you, baby." You whisper in his ear, his arm snaking around your waist.

He smiled back at you, tears pricking his eyes again. "I love you, too."

You were going to get married. Married to your best friend and soul mate. And you couldn't be happier.

______________________________

#Spotify #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #chris x reader #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo fluff #christopher owen sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #christopher sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo x you #nick sturniolo #nick sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets x reader #matthew sturniolo

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callsign-venus · 5 months

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I'll Be Home for Christmas | Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader

Description: With Bradley on deployment, you don't find the Christmas season as cheery as usual. The Daggers make it their mission to help you get into the holiday spirit. Cue intensely competitive gingerbread house decorating competition.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Fluff with a teeny dash of angst. Drinking. That’s pretty much it. Really just self-indulgent, friendship-heavy fluff with lots of pining. Enjoy x

Nat King Cole’s voice dances out of your record player has you put the finishing touches on your cranberry Aperol spritzes. Their cherry warm color makes you smile despite yourself.

You have always loved Christmas, but this year it hits you like a truck – and not even one with a tree strapped on top. All the little traditions that usually warm your heart with holiday cheer feel just plain sad to do alone. You had a tremendous battle with your artificial tree, which fell on you twice. You were proud of yourself for not crying, and in the end you were able to admire all of its eight feet of glory. Then you remembered you had to light the whole thing. Two hours later, you had undone no less than three tangles of light strands, found out two of them were dead (and all your untangling had been for nothing), and had one big cry fest for yourself. Not even a steaming cup of cocoa made you feel better after that disaster.

Wrapping presents for your friends and family, rewatching all your favorite Christmas movies, and driving around rich people neighborhoods to admire their lights hadn’t gone as poorly, but they all made his absence grow harder to ignore.

When Bradley told you his deployment would last through the holidays, you struggled to keep your disappointment to yourself, though you’re sure he could see it shining in your eyes. As much as you would miss him during the holidays, you knew it was worse for him, with only emails and skype calls for comfort – no silly little Christmas rituals to occupy his mind.

“You need help in here?” Natasha’s voice jolts you out of your pity-party spiral.

“No, I just got distracted,” you say, scooping up two of the spritzes and offering her one. “Let’s get this party started.”

Phoenix smiles and accepts your cocktail. She herself had just gotten back from her own deployment, and pretty immediately sensed your holiday ennui. She was the one who suggested this festive evening, and you’ve never been more grateful for her friendship.

While you were listless in the kitchen, she had assembled the most perfect gingerbread house making station you’d ever seen: frosting packed into several near-bursting bags, candy canes arranged in perfect rows, gumdrops with a shimmering dusting of sugar, and a scattering of gingerbread roofs and walls waiting patiently to be dressed.

“Wow, Nat, this looks great.”

“Thank you. I’m sure the boys will mess it up in three seconds flat, but at least you appreciate it.”

As if on cue, your front door bursts open, and a clot of merrily dressed sailors spills into your home, arms stacked with presents for Secret Santa. You point to the open space under the Christmas tree, and quickly your and Natasha’s presents are joined by all the others.

After the presents are unloaded, you and Phoenix are engulfed in hugs. Fanboy is wearing a Santa hat, and he has two in hand that he passes to you and Phoenix, insisting that you put them on right now. You happily oblige, as you’re inching closer to how you usually feel during the holidays now that you’re surrounded by friends. Even Jake is cheery, having rocked up in an ugly Christmas sweater covered with bows and tinsel, which is bizarre yet comforting. You do your best not to think about the person you wish was here most, as the Daggers seem dead set to help you have a great Christmas despite his absence.

“This is for you, our gracious host.” Bob hands you a potted poinsettia. “Thanks for putting up with us.”

“It’s really no problem,” you insist as you place the flowers on the side table by your couch. “I love you all.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “Still, we’re a lot, I know.”

He’s not wrong – Coyote and Payback have already found the spritzes and Fanboy’s popped three gumdrops into his mouth – but you don’t mind. Even when the gingerbread house decorating competition starts. Calling it a competition might be an understatement. The Daggers are more than competitive, especially about inconsequential things. Nobody speaks as they draft their houses in bright white icing and stud them with decorative candies. The only way to get them to quiet is through arts and crafts, you muse as you decorate your house with swirls of icing like snow drifts and tiny snowflakes dotting the roof and walls.

The sabotage begins early, when Hangman reaches for a bowl of peppermints and not-so-subtly brushes his hand over Phoenix's roof, smearing the frosting.

“Hey asshole,” Natasha says. “That’s my house.”

“Oh really? Looks like you got a little smear there.” Jake slides a finger across Phoenix’s carefully piped shingles, messing up her roof even more.

“You’re a dead man, Seresin.” Nat narrows her eyes. She won’t go for Jake’s gingerbread house, she’ll bide her time. You’re glad you’re not Hangman right now.

“Got anymore spritzes?” Coyote asks you.

You nod your head. “In the kitchen, help yourself.”

When Coyote gets up to refill his glass, Fanboy snatches his piping bag and swaps it for his almost empty one. While Fanboy’s distracted, Payback helps himself to the pile of Twizzlers Fanboy’s been hoarding since the beginning of the competition.

“Who is even going to judge these?” You ask almost absentmindedly as you stand a gingerbread couple together at the door of their house with copious amounts of frosting. “We all know whose house is whose.”

There’s a smattering of laughter.

“We’ll figure it out after Secret Santa,” Nat assures you as she completes the retiling of her roof, the eaves perfectly punctuated with peppermints.

Before you can question the logic of that solution, Bob asks for your opinion on colored versus strictly green and red gum drops.

“Hey, no helping the competition,” Fanboy complains.

“What?” You level a heavy gaze on him. “Scared you won’t win if Bob and I combine forces? I would be.”

“I’m just saying, this should be a fair contest,” he says.

You shrug him off and answer Bob, but in the spirit of sabotage, you neglect to tell him about the frosting dried on his cheek.

Even though you’re risking your gingerbread house’s safety, once you’ve finished, you slip into the hall. You refresh your inbox on your phone, and you smile as you see an email from Bradley.

Subject: Miss you

Hey pretty girl. Been missing you all day today. Wish I was there to hang stockings and give you the best mistletoe kiss the world’s ever seen. Don’t forget to hang it – you can leave it up until I get back. Don’t have a lot of time, but I just wanted to let you know that I love you and I can’t wait to come home to you.

Your heart flutters, as it always does when you get an email from him. You quickly type out a response.

Subject: Miss you more

Hey hot stuff. I’ve already hung the mistletoe and have no plans to take it down until you make me see stars under it. I miss doing holiday things with you (you really know how to wrangle the tree), but Nat especially has been helping me through it. Still, I really miss you. All I need is your arms around me and everything will feel right again. Can’t wait to see you again.

You press send and sigh. You never want to complain – it’s Bradley who had to live on an aircraft carrier for months at a time – but sometimes it feels so unfair for two people to be so in love and yet spend the holidays all alone.

You give yourself a moment to collect yourself before you go back to the increasingly hostile competition. Jake has icing in his hair – you know Phoenix is responsible, but her wrath won’t end there – and Payback’s house had a giant fist-sized crater in the roof. Surely unrelated, Coyote’s knuckles are dusted with gingerbread crumbs. You couldn’t help the smile the chaotic scene pulled from you. Especially since your gingerbread house remains in pristine condition.

You thank Nat for watching over it, and she responds with a bright smile. “No problem, I can’t have the boys messing up your Christmas celebration.”

“Hey!” All the boys except Bob protest in unison. Phoenix raises her brows, point proven.

Once all of the gingerbread houses are complete and aligned in a row like a candied neighborhood block, the party shifts toward the Christmas tree. Bob distributes presents to each of you. Yours is an envelope, and you know it is from Nat. Your name is written on the thick, cream paper in Nat’s graceful script, which you know like your own after years of friendship.

“No one can beat my present,” Nat boasts as she catches you studying the envelope.

“Oh we’ll see,” Coyote says.

You swallow down a little lump, seeing everyone around the tree without Rooster. Though you love and appreciate your friends, the emptiness of his presence is almost smothering.

Your mood warms when Jake volunteers to go first. You’re his Secret Santa, and just as you predicted, he loves the smartphone-controlled paper airplane you got for him. He opens it and has it folded in a matter of seconds. He syncs it to his phone, and his first flight ends with the plane crashing into Coyote’s head.

“Durable.” Hangman remarks as he picks up the paper airplane, which holds its shape just fine.

“Asshole.” Coyote replies.

Payback is next, and he gets a bottle of scotch from Jake. You don’t know much about scotch, but from Payback’s reaction, you can tell it’s a really nice bottle.

Coyote gets Bob a navy Aran sweater, which Bob wastes no time throwing on.

“Feel how soft!” Bob says as he smothers Coyote in a hug. Cue three minutes of Bob inviting everyone to touch his sweater – you can’t blame him, though, it is really soft.

Bob’s gift to Coyote makes you wonder how Nat is going to top it. Bob made a crochet version of Taffy, Coyote’s miniature pinscher.

“Thank you, I love it.” Coyote cradles the crocheted dog tight, and you wonder if you’re just imagining the tremble in his voice or if he’s actually about to cry.

“Come on Javy,” Jake says, “don’t go all soft now.”

Fanboy gets a countertop pizza oven from Payback, which instantly becomes one of his most prized possessions based on the sheer amount of pizza he consumes.

“Thanks, man.” He gives Payback a friendly punch on the arm. “You all have to come over for pizza night.”

You all hum in agreement. Fanboy’s pizzas are amazing, and you wouldn’t mind spending another night with everyone together. Well, almost everyone. You swallow down the lump in your throat.

Phoenix opens her gift from Fanboy slowly, as if she’s afraid of its contents. She peels back the shiny green paper to reveal a charcuterie board and a set of cheese knives with wooden handles that match the board. She hugs it close to her chest and mouths thank you across the room to Fanboy, who doesn’t notice because he’s reading the pizza recipe included with his oven.

Finally it is your turn. All eyes in the room land on you, strangely sober despite the freely flowing spritzes. You give Phoenix a quick glance as you slide a finger under the flap of the envelope, but her expression is unreadable.

“It's a…” you say as your fingers graze a satiny band of fabric. “Blindfold?”

You hold it up for everyone to see. Everyone’s expressions are carefully arranged to not convey anything. Not quite the laughter you were expecting. A sense of uneasiness blooms in your stomach.

Nat stands up and takes the blindfold out of your hands. Quicker than you can think, she’s tying it around your head.

“What is going on?” You ask.

She finishes the bow and pats your shoulder. “Just you wait.”

A few suppressed snickers fill the room and make your uneasiness melt into dread. The gentle shush of a door opening and closing makes it worse.

“I swear, if you guys are ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas-ing’ me right now I will be so angry.”

The silence that falls after you speak is so, so loud. No one turned the record, so even Nat King Cole is quiet. But then you hear it. It’s hard to explain, but you’d know that breathing anywhere. You’d spent many nights falling asleep to that gentle lullaby or hearing it as he held you close in the kitchen, neither of you caring that dinner was burning on the stove.

You rip off the blindfold, and there he is. Bradley. Bradley. Standing next to your Christmas tree, a bow tied around his chest. The Daggers surround him like magician’s assistants, all their hands raised in a sort of ta-da manner.

You leap off the couch and into his waiting arms. He smells like an aircraft carrier and shitty coffee, his clothes rough and government-issued, and his hair cropped a little too close to his head than you know he likes – but he’s yours. He’s yours in the way his embrace consumes you, blurring the line between you and him, erasing the months and miles of distance between the two of you. He’s yours in the way the beat of his heart drums in rhythm with your own. Yours in the way that you are his as well. He lifts you up so your feet dance in the air, pressing kisses to the top of your head.

He sets you down and crashes his lips into yours. He slips his tongue into your mouth unabashedly, and despite your audience, you let him. The kiss is long enough that you start to feel bad for everyone else, so you sheepishly pull away.

“Goddamn, Rooster,” Hangman says, “let the girl breathe.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He waves the comment away.

But you don’t want to breathe. Not if your other option is to kiss Bradley until you’re both oxygen starved. Because you’re starved for him, need to feed on his presence.

Then the realization sets in. Rooster is supposed to be deployed for another month. You wheel around to face Nat. “How the hell did you do this?”

She shrugs. “Loverboy emailed me last week, just after I got home from my deployment. Said he was coming home earlier than expected, and he wanted to surprise you.”

“Wait, so all of you knew?” You pointedly look at everyone, but nobody can quite keep eye contact with you.

Bradley wraps an arm around your waist. “They all did pretty good keeping it under wraps, huh?”

“I would hope so, given our clearance levels,” Jake says.

Everyone laughs, but you’re still reeling. You can’t believe Bradley is here. His calloused fingers rubbing the skin of your back, just under the hem of your shirt. His gentle laugh reverberating against your body, reminding you what wholeness feels like. His lips, slightly chapped (with none of your chapstick to steal on the carrier), murmuring into your hair. You can’t hear what he’s saying, but you know what he means nonetheless.

You’d imagined Bradley’s homecoming as a flurry of ripped clothes, bruising kisses, and mutual insatiable hunger, but this is better. All of your friends in the same room, sharing in this festive homecoming, looking like absolute dorks. Fanboy’s Santa hat sits askew on his head. Payback and Coyote are obviously drunk off their asses (they definitely pregamed the festivities, as Payback has been reduced to giggles and Coyote has actual tears streaming down his face). Jake has yet to realize the frosting in his hair, Bob the frosting on his face. And Natasha is a dork by association. You and Bradley too. But the overwhelming love in the room makes you want to sob happy tears.

Bradley happily indulges you all in judging the gingerbread houses. He gets down to eye level with each entry, runs his fingers along the roofs, occasionally snaps off a piece of candy and pops it in his mouth.

“Very good job, everyone.” He speaks to the group as if you’re all kindergartners, reveling in the building anticipation. There’s never a prize for Dagger competitions, but there doesn’t need to be. Bragging rights is all they need, no matter how menial the situation.

Bradley carefully reshuffles the houses in order from last to first place. Fanbody. Jake. Payback. Coyote. Nat. He purposefully shields first and second place. Only you and Bob are left – maybe the least competitive people in the room – and still, tension is thick in the air.

“And the winner…” Bradley’s voice booms like an old-fashioned gameshow host, “...is…”

He finally slides to the side to reveal your house sitting in first place.

Bob sticks his hand up for a high five. Your hands collide with a solid thunk.

“Not fair,” Fanboy protests. “Rooster’s obviously biased.”

“Come on, he didn’t know whose house was whose,” Phoenix says. “Besides, you weren’t even in the top five, and Payback had a hole in his roof.”

“It’s ok, Nat,” you voice oozes with fake sympathy. “I’d be upset too if I spent so much time on a shit gingerbread house.”

Fanboy’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh you want to play that game?”

He lunges around the table, and you immediately grab Bradley to use as a human shield.

“Lots of talk from someone who’s gonna hide behind her boyfriend,” he says teasingly.

“I’m not hiding.” You tighten your grip on Bradley’s waist, his hands covering yours. “You can get to me, you’re just gonna have to get through him first.”

Bradley puffs out his chest. “Nobody disparages the gingerbread contest queen. She earned her title by being the best.”

Later, because he can’t keep a secret from you (the only thing that saved the Secret Santa surprise was only being able to communicate through email), Bradley confesses that he knew which house was yours the moment he saw it. But still, that one little detail doesn’t negate the fact that you are the gingerbread contest queen.

And Bradley defends your honor well as you maneuver him from behind to keep a distance between yourself and Fanboy. Eventually, Bob steps in to broker a peace deal to end the conflict. Somehow, you are roped in for bringing more spritzes to Fanboy’s pizza night, but he can no longer dispute the fact that you have the best gingerbread house. A win is a win, and your gloating privileges remain.

Later, when everyone is winding down and glancing at their coats hanging by the door, Bradley pulls you into the kitchen.

“Honey, I think our guests are about to leave.” You try to move back toward the living room, but Bradley keeps hold of your hand. “Please, let’s not be rude.”

He shakes his head. “They’ll understand. They know. They know exactly what it's like.”

You relent because he’s right. Even you don’t know what it’s like. Loneliness has been a long lingering companion of yours, but you suffer her presence at home surrounded by close comforts and your parents a short drive away. For Bradley, for Nat, for Jake, for Bob and all the rest, it’s different. It’s their job. They suffer loneliness with mostly long shifts and shitty food for company.

So you let Bradley chase out his – and your – loneliness in the kitchen. As he pulls you ever closer, his palms flattening you against him, you wonder how you ever survived apart when it was so clear that your souls were really just one.

You break away panting. God knows how long you were indulging, but you just about jump out of your skin when you realize Phoenix is in the kitchen right behind you, pouring herself a glass of champagne.

Your cheeks warm. “Nat!”

“Sorry, didn’t bother me, so I didn’t want to bother you.” She shrugs. “Want a glass?”

You decline, and you and Bradley shuffle out of the kitchen like teenagers caught in the act. Nearly everyone is shrugging their coats on, chatting about the night, when they catch sight of the two of you.

“Now, just where in the hell did y’all run off to?” Jake prods.

You can’t even look at them.

“Just the kitchen,” Rooster says, locking his hand in yours. “Needed to make sure the champagne was still flowing.”

Everyone shares the same knowing look that makes you want to shove them all out the door. Instead, you and Bradley post up at the door like perfect hosts and thank everyone for coming as they slip into the surprisingly chilly night. Then, only you, Bradley, and Phoenix are left.

While everyone was saying their goodbyes, she was sipping her champagne and quietly wiping sugar, gingerbread crumbs, and crusted frosting off the dining table.

“You bitch,” you say as you swoop in to help her clean up. “How come you didn’t tell me as soon as you found out?”

She laughs and takes another sip of wine. “Why don’t you ask Rooster?”

You raise your eyebrows at him. He sheepishly grins.

“In my defense,” he says, “it was a really good surprise.”

“I can’t believe you two.” You laugh. “But thank you for the surprise. It was wonderful.”

You try to direct your gratitude to them both, but something in Rooster’s expression snags your gaze and won’t let go. There’s still an unsatiated hunger heavy in his eyes.

Nat sets down her now empty glass. “Alright, lovebirds, I’ll take that as my cue to leave.”

She gathers her things, and you walk her to the door.

“Thank you.” You give her a hug. Neither of you are super touchy, but your gratitude for her tonight is almost endless. “Thank you for everything.”

“Don’t mention it.” She squeezes you tight before letting go. “Goodnight, Rooster!”

“Goodnight!” He calls from somewhere deep in the house.

“Sounds like he’s waiting for you,” she winks. “See you soon.”

“Get home safe!”

And with that, it’s just the two of you. You expect Bradley to pounce the second the door closes, but he doesn’t appear as you linger by the doorway. Odd. You check the kitchen, living room, and dining room. All empty.

“Bradley?” You call.

“Right here.”

His response floats from down the hallway, from your bedroom.

And sure enough, there he stands in the doorway. Right under the mistletoe you hung up earlier in the week, the biggest grin on your face when you pictured his homecoming some time after New Years, all the Christmas decorations gone except the lonely mistletoe, waiting patiently for his arrival. But now, you can put the mistletoe to good use while Christmas is still bright on the horizon. The warmth of the season bleeds into the warmth of your kiss. Christmas will come as surely as it would have if Bradley was on deployment, but now you welcome it. You want lazy days sipping eggnog and baking cookies. You want late, festive nights at the Hard Deck with the Daggers, getting into pool competitions with Bradley as your loyal teammate despite how disastrous you are at pool, assured in his easy we-lose-together attitude. You want a Christmas morning with presents that don’t matter because the best gift you could ask for has already appeared right by your tree tonight, wrapped in a bow.

“Don’t leave me ever again,” you whisper against his chest.

“I won’t,” he says, “I won’t.”

You both know it’s not something you can ask of him, not a promise he can keep. It’s not fair to either of you to pretend like this will be his last homecoming, the last time you both are starved of each other for months. But right now, it feels good to pretend.

You can’t think long about his future deployments, however. Your worries melt away as Bradley makes good on his promise to give you the best mistletoe kiss the world’s ever seen.

#bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley rooster bradshaw #top gun maverick fanfiction #rooster fluff #bradley bradshaw fluff

326 notes · View notes

spidermans-l-o-v-e-r · 9 days

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Strawberries and Cream

I will be so real I made this title up while watching strawberry shortcake *Hyena laughing gif*

Pairing: Eddie Diaz x reader

Word count: 4.6k YEAH THATS RIGHT I ACTUALLY CHECKED THIS TIME

🔪remember to reblog🔪

Notes: You know the strawberry shortcake from the early 2000s? That’s MY GIRL. P.s I’m in the middle of writing this rn 1:47am 4/19/24 and imma be so real this fic is full on Christopher erasure I’m SORRY

Chapter 1: First Appearances

Eddie had never been a “bumbling idiot” when it came to women, or okay at least he hadn’t been in a long time.

“Hi there! Can you help me?”

And there goes that record.

It’s like you walked in on a cloud of sugared lavender and cotton candy and strawberries and anything else sweet he could think of. He whirled around, nearly knocking into you

“Oh shit- god no shit- no I shouldn’t say shit-“ He grabs your arms to steady you, and it’s like he’s holding an angel. You’re… soft? Yeah soft is the word he’s looking for. He’s taking way too long to talk like a normal person and he knows it. But god if that short pink dress isn’t doing things to him….

“What um- What can I help you with?” Eddie leans against the fire truck, crossing his arms over his chest, coming back down to earth. What a smooth recovery.

“Well- I’m looking for Evan Buckley. He goes by Buck?” She looks up at him, her hands clasped behind her back sweetly.

Oh.

Oh, she wanted Buck.

Eddie deflates just the tiniest bit, okay a lot but he can’t let her know that “Oh yeah sure, I think he’s upstairs, come on”

He leads the way, his hand flowing over the cool railing, trying to ground himself a little. Was it wrong he was hoping Buck fumbled this one? He wanted his best friend to find happiness- to know what that felt like…but like he could just wish that a teeny bit right?

“Hey, Buck? Someone’s here to see you” He says as he stands at the top of the stairs. You pop out from behind him, throwing your hands in the air.

“Surprise!!!” You yell, doing a little spin

“It’s me!!!”

Buck's mouth drops wide open, his fork falling from his hand as he gets up from the table so excitedly he knocks his chair back.

“Y/N?!? What are you doing here?!” He runs over, picking you up and spinning you around, you squeal, holding onto him tightly.

“Buck!! Put me down!! You’re gonna drop me!” You’re laughing, your head tilted back as he squeezes you to his chest

“Not, I’m never putting you down again” He buries his face in your neck, hugging you as tight as he can before he sets you on the floor. He holds your arms, shaking you like a ragdoll.

“It’s been years Y/N, does Maddie know you’re here???”

You push away from him a bit, steadying yourself and putting your hand on your forehead.

“Can you rein it in for like five seconds” you giggle, looking up at him “I thought it was finally time to come see you! And no Maddie doesn’t know I’m here yet, I wanted to surprise you two!

“Well, do you have a place to stay? Because you’re staying with me you can have the bed I’ll take the couch! We can have Maddie over too! Oh god I’m so glad-“

Bobby finally clears his throat, looking up from the salad in front of him.

“Uh…Buck? You wanna maybe introduce your friend before you kill her with whiplash”

“Or from crushing her sternum,” Hen says, pouring a cup of coffee

“Oh shit, yeah! This is Y/N, my cousin!” He puts his hands on her shoulders pridefully, pushing her towards them.

Eddie perks up at that, turning around and leaning against the counter… cousin? He stirs his coffee slowly

Bobby gets up and shakes her hand, patting her on the shoulder

“It’s nice to meet you! Family of Bucks is a member of ours. Welcome to the 118”

They fawn over her, really that’s the only word Eddie can come up with. Chim compliments her “adorable” dress, Hen tells her she’s working those shoes, showing off that black girl magic. She’s a bit overwhelmed by the attention, giggling through her nerves as she talks to them. A wide smile on her face.

Buck takes her hand eventually, yanking her over to Eddie

“This is my best friend,” He says proudly, patting Eddie on the back. “Eddie Diaz!”

Eddie melts when she looks up at him with those sweet eyes, he smirks, looking away for a second and biting his lip. It's subtle but Buck catches it, narrowing his eyes.

“Yeah, we’ve met,” he says, looking back at you and shaking your hand “It’s nice to properly meet you Y/N”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Eddie,” You say, a smile on your face, you bite your lip and Buck sees that too. He looks down at you, and then back up at Eddie.. and then right back down to you. His head goes up and down like a paddle ball and he whips out his phone, distractedly pushing you at Eddie.

“Ed do me a favor and keep her entertained for a minute. I need to call Maddie real quick I uh- I remembered something”

“Don’t you dare tell her I’m here! I want to surprise her” you warn him and Buck struggles, his hands gesturing wildly.

“Oh. Uhhh I’m sorry. I already texted her!” Chim interjects, shrugging awkwardly and you frown a little but shrug back “Oh okay! That’s fine”

Buck shoots Chimney a thumbs up for covering for him and immediately calls Maddie, running down the stairs for privacy.

“So um…where are you from?” Eddie asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Admittedly he does it to make his chest look better, and God does it. Hen snickers but ignores him doing that and Chim makes faces behind your back at Eddie.

“Oh, I’ve been in Minnesota for a while! It’s nice there, pretty quiet. I’m maybe looking for a place around here now though… but don’t tell Buck or Maddie I don’t wanna get their hopes up.

“Buck would probably just make you move in with him,” Bobby comments over his salad.

“Hey! We have plenty of space” Chim adds “if you’re looking for something temporary. I'm sure Maddie wouldn’t even mind permanent if we were able to discuss it”

“Eddie has a spare room. If you were here temporarily at least, that would probably be your best bet at this point” Hen chimes in, looking at him. His cheeks heat up and he chokes a little on his coffee

“I- I mean. I-“ he doesn’t even know what to say to that because god yes would he want that. Is that premature? That’s premature. Like so premature wanting to live with you……Anyway, a dog maybe? he knows exactly what old clothes he’d get rid of too to make space in his closet for you. Definitely a dog, gonna name him-

“Okay, okay slow down you guys” You laugh lightly, interrupting his internal life planning.

“I’m not moving in with anyone yet. It’s just a thought… and there’s no way in hell I’d feel comfortable imposing on Eddie like that. Family is one thing. A literal stranger? Yeah, I don’t know.”

“It’s not an imposition!” Eddie is way too quick with that answer. He clears his throat

“I- it wouldn’t be. That is if you need a place to crash. Besides I’m at work all day you know! It’s not like my place gets too much use…”

“See! Problem solved!” Hen says happily and you roll your eyes at her, scrunching your nose and making a little face at her

“Oh ha-ha, very funny. I’m not moving in with Eddie”

“You’re moving in with Eddie?!” Buck’s mouth is dropped wide open as he stands at the top of the stairs.

“What?! No!” You tell him, your hands up in defense “I’m not moving in with anyone.”

“Good,” Buck says as he picks up his chair from earlier. “Because if you’re moving in with anyone it’s gonna be me.”

“Told you” Bobby rolls his eyes.

After he finishes his pad, Thai, Buck eagerly shows you around the firehouse, dragging you and Eddie around like a kid in a candy shop. He just has so much he wants to show you, and he wants Eddie there “for backup” in case he misses anything. He proudly shows off his locker and you giggle, he’s incredibly cute sometimes. He shows off Eddie’s locker too, to which Eddie rolls his eyes and shuts the door, giving him a shove.

“Trust me when I say I saved the best for last.”He climbs up into the truck, reaching out for you. “Eddie help her?” He requests, taking your hands in his. Eddie shrugs, putting his hands firmly on your hips as you step up into the truck, he gives you a little lift and push and you’re in. Buck winks at you and you roll your eyes as Eddie climbs in behind the two of you.

“Isn’t this cool?!” He practically yells “Cool” and you’re looking around like a little owl, your eyes wide, head swiveling. It’s a lot to take in but it’s cool, he’s right.

“Uh, yeah!!!” You agree, touching everything in sight. Eddie sits on one of the seats and watches you walk around a bit, looking at everything and running your fingers over it. Buck makes you sit down in one of the seats and buckles you in.

“You look awesome!” He chuckles as he takes pictures of you for Maddie. He unbuckles his belt and gets up, looking around outside the door. Eddie gets on one knee, helping to unbuckle you. He looks up at you as you pull your arms out from the straps

“Thanks” Your voice is a little breathless, god his smile is gorgeous and he smells so damn good.

“Yeah no problem” He grins, standing up out of your way.

“Hey Y/N, you wanna pretend to drive?” Buck asks excitedly, rubbing his hands together as he turns back around.

“Oh my god, can I??? Please!!” You squeak and Eddie chuckles, shaking his head at the two of you…he can see your similarities. Buck makes Eddie get out first and smirks as Eddie grabs your hips again, it’s a little harder getting out and you stumble into his arms, squeaking.

“Hey, Don’t worry I got you” He chuckles, holding you against his chest, you look up at him as he smiles down at you.

“T-thanks uhh again, I guess' ' you mumble, your cheeks feeling like they’re practically on fire. Buck sits on the floor of the truck, swinging his feet as he just gleefully watches the interaction. Eddie sets you down properly, taking a second before he lets you go.

“Guess he’s gonna make you help me into the front seat too huh?” You ask a bit shyly

“I’m lazy as hell so yes” Buck pipes up from behind you and Eddie rolls his eyes.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind it anyway, just gives me an excuse to get closer to you” He practically purrs and even though he’s joking (he’s not) you melt on the spot, your mouth falling open quickly and snapping shut just as fast. He cracks up as he helps you up into the driver's seat. His hands feel so hot on your hips, they sear into your sides and you wish he’d keep them there. Eddie shuts the door and goes around to the other side, climbing inside.

“Alright children, go crazy” he teases you and Buck as he watches, he has to swat your hand away from so many buttons that Buck is trying to make you push. Eventually, you’re both just doing it to drive him crazy.

“Honk the horn, honk the horn!!” Buck chants from the backseat and you look over at Eddie, he shakes his head snickering as he nods

“Alright alright, God. Go ahead, Bobby will know Buck made ya do it”

You put both hands on the large horn and push down, the loud honking noise echoes through the entire station and Buck bursts out laughing. You fall back in the seat, kicking your legs laughing excitedly and it takes everything in Eddie not to just lean over and kiss you. You look so happy and gleeful as you all hear Bobby already yelling at Buck

“Scatter!!!” Buck yells and jumps from the truck, running away.

“No! No, that's not fair!” You yell after him, as Eddie jumps from the front seat too. You scramble over to the other chair and Eddie is already waiting with his arms out to you. It stalls you for a second, your heart beating out of your chest as you climb down into his arms.

“Safe and sound,” he says as he shuts the door and pulls you with him over to a little corner to hide. You can see everything from there, you’re pressed against Eddie as you both watch Bobby coming down the stairs. Buck is hiding in front of the engine, he runs around the opposite side and you’re giggling. Eddie is snorting as he covers your mouth

“Shhhh you’re gonna get us caught” he whispers and god does Eddie not want to be caught. He didn’t mean for this to happen, for your body to be pressed into his, one hand on your back pressing you into him and the other over your mouth. It’s intimate, and soon your giggles die out and you look up at him, his hand still over your mouth. You both stare into each other’s eyes…is it getting hot in here??? Did someone open the bay doors??

He slowly removes his hand and you blink at him

“Sorry” he apologizes softly, he’s just glad there’s no way you can feel the way his heart is beating out of his chest.

“It’s cool,” you say back just as quietly, feeling the same way. You bite your lip, your hands feeling the hard muscles under his tight shirt. Kinda makes you wonder if all his clothes fit him this nicely.

You’re about to say something when alarms start blaring. You jump, holding onto the front of his shirt and he pulls you in for a second

“Shit- Shit I gotta go,” he says, reluctantly letting you go. “Hopefully I’ll see you again sometime soon” He tilts your chin up, like he wants to kiss you but decides against it… he did just meet you. Instead, he kisses your forehead before running off to get his stuff on.

The truck is gone for about 10 minutes before you get a text from Buck, telling you Maddie is coming to pick you up and take you back to his place and that he’ll see you for dinner. He sends a little heart emoji at the end of the message and you smirk. Buck was ridiculous, sincere, but ridiculous.

The truck rolls back into the station a couple of hours later, It’s time to clean up and head out, their shifts are almost over finally. They work together, putting things back in their places and giving the truck a little wipe-down in a few places. Finally, Bobby dismisses them as the next shift starts coming in.

Eddie walks into the changing room, exhausted and ready to crash at home. He grabs his clothes and tosses them down, grabbing his shirt and yanking it tiredly over his head.

“So are you ... into her?” Buck asks as he walks in, getting his stuff together and standing next to Eddie to change and chat. He pulls his blue shirt over his head and looks at Eddie as he reaches for his pants

“Into who?” Eddie raises an eyebrow, pulling up his pants. He knows exactly who he’s talking about but he’s not confirming that.

“ “Into who” Yeah okay” Buck scoffs “Are you into Y/N?”

“Buck I just met her this afternoon. How could I be into her.” He lies through his teeth…and Buck sees right through him.

“Okay sure, anyway. Since you wanna play coy I’m not inviting you to dinner anymore”

“Wait, you were inviting me to dinner?” He stops buttoning his pants and looks over at Buck who’s pulling on his jeans

“Yeah I was… but since someone isn’t into someone… I’m not bothering” he buttons his pants and claps him on the back “See ya tomorrow bestie!” He goes to leave, a smirk on his face and Eddie stops him, grabbing his arm.

“I’m not….I’m not saying I’m into her. But- like-“ he sighs

“I’m hungry”

Buck walks into the studio, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his coat. Maddie is sitting at the table, eating a bowl of grapes and you’re standing at the stove, stirring the pot.

“I’m telling you Mads, he is literally so cu-“

Maddie cuts you off, clearing her throat “Hey Buck! Hey… Eddie?”

Buck pushes Eddie ahead of him and over to the counter, he walks past him to the fridge and grabs a couple of drinks

“Look who’s staying for dinner,” He says in a singsong voice, tossing Eddie a bottle of water, Eddie rolls his eyes and leans against the small counter next to the stove, he gives you a wink as he opens the bottle

“Hope you don’t mind? He just invited me at the last minute” He shrugs, sipping the water. He looks over at Maddie, who is staring at Buck intensely. They’re definitely having a sibling conversation.

“No, not at all! I made more than enough!! I’m glad you could join us.” You give him a little hip bump, feeling your cheeks flush and he bumps you back. He looks up to see Maddie and Buck staring at the two of you, Buck eagerly wiggles, trying to hide his excitement, you turn around and he instantly stops, making Eddie laugh.

Dinner is good- like really good, Eddie hasn’t eaten Mexican food like that in a while, sure he could go to Catrina’s but it’s just different when it’s from home. Buck had nearly shoved Eddie into the chair next to you, as he plopped down next to Maddie

“Oh don’t mind me! Just wanna sit by my wonderful, loving, perfect, sister” he explained and Maddie facepalmed, Buck couldn’t be more obvious…but at the same time, you couldn’t be more oblivious…Buck was acting weird but he’s Buck he’s always weird.

“So I guess it’s safe to say you’ve got a little Latin flair in you hm?” Eddie asks as he takes a bite from his carnitas, even the tortillas are freshly made. You’d brought them with you from home for Maddie and Buck.

“Yup,” you smile proudly as he moans and rolls his eyes back “I’m half Mexican. And uh, I take it the food is good?”

“I’m so sorry for the absolute slut I’m about to become while eating this, yes it’s delicious” he nods his head while he’s eating and you break down laughing. Buck and Maddie are looking at each other with that certain sparkle in their eyes again while you’re shoving Eddie and he’s stealing a bite of your rice.

It’s kind of natural the way you hang all over Eddie over dinner and the way he holds onto you, maybe it’s the Hispanic in you both, very touchy. Or maybe it’s just that he’s fun to be around. Eddie learns a good deal about you, most of it incredibly embarrassing as Buck can’t help himself but tell all of your embarrassing moments as kids together. Eddie gets him back for you, telling the story about how he quite literally peed himself on a date once and you and Maddie are both scream laughing as Buck starts throwing leftover lettuce at Eddie screaming at him to shut up.

“I’m sorry you got into a lettuce war” You giggle as you walk out to Eddie’s car together, nudging each other occasionally. He’s got his hands in his pockets

“Yeah that’s Buck for you”

Buck had made you walk Eddie out to his car, claimed he absolutely had no choice but to start the dishes or he’d forget, and said Maddie had to use the bathroom and it wasn’t safe for pregnant women to hold it for so long. You’re pretty sure he made that last part up but you just shrug it off, slipping on your slides and following Eddie outside.

You stop in front of his car and you lean against it a little, dragging your finger down the hood. He clears his throat and you look up at him, he’s blushing as he runs his fingers through his hair nervously.

“Do you…wanna like to hang out? While you’re in town?”

“Yeah sure why not! You’re Buck’s best friend I’m sure he’d love to “

“No no- just. Like just us. Just me and you?” He interrupts you, as he gets in his car.

“Oh,” You feel your cheeks flush. “Like…- like a date?”

“No! No not. Okay- okay that sounds bad I said it way too fast-“ He’s stumbling over his words “Jus- just like being cool hanging out I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t ask you on a date…yet. Like we just met you know so I mean I don’t want to take things too fast for you!!”

His head falls heavily back against the headrest groaning at his awkwardness, and you’re smirking, your arms crossed over your chest. He looks over at you, his voice low as he takes a deep breath.

“Would you like to go to the zoo with me this weekend? As friends. I’d like to get to know you better.”

You smile at him, leaning into the car window and kissing him on the cheek.

“I would love to go to the zoo with you this weekend, as friends”

Eddie rolls his eyes, that blush on his cheeks deepening as he starts the car, looking at you. “Friends don’t kiss friends” He dares to say that as if he hadn’t kissed your forehead that afternoon.

“I promise you, friends kiss friends on the cheek. Trust me” You tell him a matter of factly, assuring him as you step back, giving him a little wave.

“Guess I gotta get on that trend huh?”

He smirks as he drives off. Is he speeding? Yes. But does it look cool as hell, also yes. He’s so giddy all the way home. Not only does he have a Tupperware full of some of the best food he’s eaten in a long time that you’d shoved in his hands and refused to take no for an answer when he tried to tell you he couldn’t possibly take it. But you’d also said yes to the date… okay a “friend” date but you still said yes!!

The next morning he’s got a little more pep in his step, he gets through his workout faster than usual and he’s even early to work.

“You’re in a good mood” Hen comments, as she drinks her coffee, he shrugs as he finishes tucking his shirt into his pants

“I guess I am …yeah” He smiles, fixing his hair. He is in a good mood…he can’t stop thinking about you. He’d even dreamed about you… it was impossible not to think about you. It’s like he could smell your perfume as he was just standing there, whatever you wore was everything to him, he could practically bathe in it.

“Why are you standing with your hands in your hair like that?” You giggle as you walk up next to him.

Oh, so he could smell your perfume.

“I was just distracted..” He says awkwardly, turning towards you.

“What are you doing here?”

“I brought brownies! Me and Maddie are hanging out today so she brought me up here ...didn't realize I’d run into you” you say, your hands behind your back as you look around the firehouse.

“Didn’t think I’d get to see you either…” he says, mimicking your stance

He leans down, kissing you on the cheek. His lips are soft and plump and it makes you blush, his hand ghosts over your hip before he pulls you a little closer to him.

“So, I was thinking we could go to lunch after the zoo? If you wanted”

He’s so close now, looking down at you. He’s tall…and he still smells so good, like he always does. You could bottle that and just bathe in it.

“Lunch?” your voice is a bit dreamy as you feel his hand on your hip. He’d been touching you yesterday too and today felt just as good. You can practically feel his body against yours like it was the other day when you were hiding.

“Yeah, figured we could go to the zoo early…maybe spend the day together. If you’re okay with that” His voice is smooth, sort of deep. Like he’s purposely trying to overwhelm your senses.

“Y…yeah okay. Yeah, that sounds nice” you agree easily because he is overwhelming you. And you can’t help the way your lips part softly like you just need to know what his feels like. He’s got a smirk on his face as his eyes flick down to your lips, he runs his tongue over his own before he chuckles lightly.

“Alright…it’s a date. But you know, not” His voice is playful as he wiggles his eyebrows at you and you roll your eyes, finally pushing at his chest, shoving him away from you.

“Yeah, yeah whatever I’ll see you this weekend.” You can finally breathe again.

He watches you walk away, practically thirsting over that sway in your hips and the way those shorts you’re wearing hug your body so deliciously.

“Shoulda taken her to the beach…” he mumbles to himself.

“Can you not eye fuck my cousin in front of me please, I truly don’t think that’s too hard of a request.” Buck groans as he shoves a brownie in Eddie’s mouth.

“And she’s good at baking?!” Eddie moans around his bite, accepting the brownie from Bucks's hand

Buck rolls his eyes “Of course she’s good at baking. She’s good at everything”

“Eddie you better get to talking to her before I do” Hen threatens him jokingly “These are damn good”

“I know okay, I know” Eddie sighs “I’m not going to jump at her though, that’s like….desperate right? I don’t want to come off as desperate…even if I think she’s pretty. Like really pretty- stupid pretty”

“Hey, guys? You think she’s pretty?” Chim asks as he comes over to help Hen restock the engine.

“Not sure. Maybe we should ask Eddie” Hen nods as she walks away with him.

Eddie rolls his eyes, flicking them both off as he leans against the wall, rubbing his hands over his face. Buck chuckles at him, putting his hand on his arm.

“She's not gonna think you’re desperate Eddie… Y/N isn’t like that. And I think she’s into you too. Just be yourself, man, You’re a good guy Eddie, and a total catch. I love Y/N with all of my heart but if she can’t see that? She’s a total loser. And you know two sides of the same coin if you can’t see she’s the greatest woman in the entire world you’re the loser” He snickers as he elbows Eddie in the ribs. Eddie chuckles and sighs nudging Buck back.

“Thank you for restoring my confidence…I needed that. You’re the greatest friend in the world man, honestly”

Bobby makes a gagging sound as he walks by “And you’re the greatest crew in the world” He says in a high-pitched voice, fluttering his eyelashes.

“Hey! We’re having a moment” Buck says, throwing his napkin at Bobby.

Part Two

#eddie diaz x reader #eddie diaz #evan buckley #chimney han #bobby nash #9 1 1 #9 1 1 fanfiction #maddie buckley #words by Rhys #Rhys writes #wish I knew more tagsss #this is gettin pretty awkwardddd #eddie x y/n #reader insert #maybe I’ll remember more #Strawberries and Cream

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ddejavvu · 2 years

Note

Hi! There's a something I'd like to share....Poly! marauders + lily watching little Harry interact with the belly of a pregnant S/O. Harry is just so excited to be a big brother and his trying to talk to the unborn baby just makes my heart soft ♡. (Hope u have a lovely day and sorry for my bad english ; w;)

come celebrate 4k with me!

:(( what the fuck oh my god that's adorable :((

"'N you can play with my trucks!" Harry leaned into your baby bump, resting his chubby cheek against your flushed skin, "But you can't use my broom. Tha's mine. 'S only for big boys."

You could practically see Remus's grin lighting up the room from the corner of your eye, but you didn't dare distract yourself from the adorable scene before you.

"Daddy," Harry turned, keeping one pudgy hand over your belly, "'S the baby gonna be teeny tiny?"

"So teeny tiny," James crouched beside his son, covering Harry's little hand with his own broad one, "You'll have to wait a bit before they can play trucks with you, Harry."

"But can I hold them?" He frowned, curling his little fingers so that they dug slightly into your skin.

"Of course you can," You piped up, smiling warmly at the little boy who grinned toothily at you, "You'll be a perfect big brother."

"What can I play with them when they're little?"

"You could try peek-a-boo," Lily ruffled her son's hair, "Babies like that."

"That game is dumb," Harry huffed, "It's not fun."

"Hey," Sirius leveled Harry with an unamused glare, "You used to make me play that with you for hours, Harry. You screamed and cried when I stopped, don't pretend you're above it."

"He probably screamed and cried 'cause he had to look at your ugly face again," James smirked from Harry's side, and you giggled as Sirius swatted at the back of his head.

"Anyways," Remus scoffed, eyes softening as he turned to Harry, "You have to be gentle with newborn babies, but you'll get to play with him eventually."

Harry brightened at that, patting the back of James's head as a consoling gesture, though he used a bit too much toddler force, leaving James wincing for a second time. He turned back to you, both hands braced on your tummy now as he began rambling again, "When I learn how to read I can read to you! We can read about the little house on the prairie, and we can read goodnight moon, and-"

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spidernerdsblog · 2 years

Text

drive-in

A/N : my first Steve harrington fic!! Hope you like this. Let me know what you think.

Summary : you and Steve go on a movie date at the drive-in theater and halfway into the movie you can't help but get a little frisky at the back of his car.

Pairing : Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings : 18+, SMUT, minors DNI, semi-public, car sex, exhibitionism kink

It was deep in the summer, the air warm and humid during the day though the nights were relatively cooler with a gentle breeze blowing in the dusk.

You were in Steve’s burgundy 1983 BMW 733i which you were fairly certain was the only love of his life with the way he gets so protective about it not letting anyone drive it ever.

It was almost dark as you were headed to the drive-in behind the starcourt mall. Steve in the driver’s seat one hand on the steering wheel while the other raked through his perfectly styled hair. He faced you briefly, a sweet smile etched on his lips as he reached out his hand to interlace with yours. He caressed your hand with his thumb, the act so gentle and sweet, just an example of how Steve could always make you feel loved even with a small gesture like this.

You held your hands the whole ride as the car drove past the forest lined road. Soon the neon lights of the parking lot of the drive-in came into view and he slowed down near the gate.

“Two adults, that will be $5.” the gatekeeper droned. Steve handed him the cash out of his wallet and steered to the back row of the parking lot, shutting the engine.

He stepped out of the car and said. “I’ll go get the popcorn.”

“Ok.” you smiled and watched him walk towards the food trucks.

Top gun was playing tonight and everyone seemed to have been raving about it since its release. ‘To see Tom Cruise on the screen as a pilot flying fighter planes’ you had said dreamily the other day earning you an eye roll from Steve. ‘You and your fleeting crushes’ he had grumbled and you had laughed at his teeny tiny jealousy. Nevertheless, he agreed to watch the movie with you on the weekend.

The opening credits began to roll when Steve returned with a large tub of popcorn and two cans of cola. You reclined back your seats and got comfortable placing the tub of popcorn in the middle of you on the gear shift.

“God Tom Cruise looks so good in that uniform.” you sighed, making heart eyes.

“Uh huh.” Steve remarked dryly .

“Oh c’mon just look at him. Look at those blue eyes and that body.”

“Way to make a man feel better babe.” he grumbled and you were filled with amusement.

“Awww Stevey, you know I love you right?” you cooed and he huffed rolling his eyes.

“Yeah yeah as if you won’t leave me for Tom Cruise.”

“I mean…” you pretended to think. “Given the chance, why not?”

“Really Y/N?” he looked at you incredulously.

“Oh relax, I’m just kidding.” you giggled. “Sorry to say but you’re stuck with me indefinitely. You’re not getting rid of me so easily.”

“Well am I not the luckiest guy in the whole world then?” he grinned and you blushed.

“Ok now hush let me watch the movie.” you said and turned your attention ahead on the screen.

For the first hour or so you were both engrossed in the movie. On screen Tom Cruise as Maverick violently argues with Kelly McGillis’ Charlie about his performance report which should be better according to him. Charlie tries to explain her evaluation but is interrupted when Maverick decides to leave on his bike. She chases him in her car, catches up with him and reveals she has feelings for him.

But Steve’s whole attention shifted to you observing your face illuminated from the soft light of the screen as you smiled at the on going scene. He noticed your white summer dress, small dainty red flowers printed all over it and with your hair down you looked sweet as sin.

You felt Steve’s gaze upon you and looked at him, your eyes locked, a flicker of current passing between you. “What?” you asked.

Steve said nothing. His dark brown eyes simmered with liquid heat coasting down your body appreciatively before meeting your eyes again. You knew that look very well. The air inside the car thickened as he watched your chest rise and fall in labored breaths. Silent words were exchanged as he licked his bottom lip and your body hummed with excitement.

Steve slowly leaned in and you closed the gap between the both of you, pressing your lips against his. His hand ran across your cheek and then up to your hair, holding onto it gently as his eyes closed for a passionate kiss.

You felt yourself melt against him almost, completely relaxing yourself from his gentle touch as take my breath away plays on the screen. Your hands tugged on the roots of long silky hair at the nape of his neck and he groaned.

His hands slid down your neckline to your breasts cupping them gently. You gasped and he slipped his tongue into your mouth, tasting the hint of sweetness of cola you had a few minutes ago. He tweaked your pebbled buds through your dress and you moaned squirming in your seat as moisture gathered between your thighs. Your hand came down to palm his growing erection. Steve was the one to eventually break the kiss, reluctantly sitting back. Both of your cheeks flushed panting heavily.

“Fuck.” he rasped. “I don’t think I can wait till the movie ends. You want to take it in the back?”

You didn’t have to be told twice. The movie long forgotten as both of you squeezed yourselves in the backseat. It took a little bit of fumbling to get in a comfortable position, but you were finally sitting astride your boyfriend, your dress bunched up to your waist, his back against the backseat of the car. Thankfully in the back row there were only empty trailers on both the sides of your car and the people in the front were busy watching the movie in their cars.

You heard the click of the belt buckle as he pulled down the zipper and freed his hard cock. You took him in your hand and stroked his cock slowly, teasing him. Steve bucked up into your hand, showing how impatient he was to be inside of you. He then pushed your panties to the side and dipped two fingers into your heat finding you slick you with arousal.

“Shit you’re soaking babe, is that all for me?” he asked, pumping his fingers lazily in and out of you.

“Oh god…” you grinded hard on his fingers. “Yes Stevey, all for you.”

He pulled out and you whined at the loss of his fingers. He brought them to his mouth and you watched him with hooded eyes licking them clean. Fishing out a condom from his back pocket he rolled it down his length before lining up his cock to your entrance.

You held onto his broad shoulders lifting your hips up and then slid down him slowly, both of you moaning as he filled you to the hilt. His hands held onto your hips to keep you steady and you slowly began to rock your hips.

“That’s my girl, look at you riding my cock in the back of my car where people can see us… I brought you here to watch a movie but look what happened,” His dirty talk with the thrill of getting caught turning you on even more. Your hands fisted on his shirt as you moved faster up and down his cock.

The sight of him was breathtaking: his head was back against the headrest, eyes closed, lips wide open and moans escaping from them. You pushed his hair away from his eyes and leaned in to kiss him deeply, sucking on his tongue and nipped on his bottom lip.

The sounds of the movie playing behind you were drowned out with your collective breathy moans and grunts. Steve peppered kisses down your neck and pulled down the front of your dress, your boobs bouncing free into his eager hands. He dipped down to take one of your nipples into his mouth, looking up at you, knowing how sensitive they are making you moan like crazy.

“Fuck, I’m close,” your body wound tighter clenching hard around him, feeling overwhelmed by all the sensations. Steve let go of your breast with a wet pop and started to thrust upwards hard and fast his hips meeting yours.

“I want to feel you cum around me baby girl,” Steve coaxed, his breath hot against your neck. “Maybe we can fuck again when we get back home, you would like that won’t you? Always so eager for my cock.” he continued to thrust deeply inside you, his nimble fingers finding your clit, drawing circles around it.

“Yes Steve, fuck… I can never get enough of you and your cock,” you said, tugging on his hair.

“I know baby I can feel you squeezing me tight,” He could tell you were right on the edge as he rubbed harder on your swollen nub. “Cum for me and don’t be quiet, maybe someone will hear in the cars in front of us,” He teased. “Let everyone know what a slut you are and only I can make you feel this good.”

Those words were your undoing as you threw your head back and came with a loud moan of his name. Your inner muscles pulsating as you rested your forehead against his, panting and moaning against his lips. Steve cursed under his breath and with a few deep thrusts he let go inside of you, painting your walls with his hot cum.

“Fuck Y/N!” he groaned, his hands gripping your ass roughly. You held his face and leaned down to give him a sloppy kiss on the lips, still out of breath.

Eventually you came down from your highs and cleaned up, fixing your clothes before moving back to the front seats. After your little fun sexacapade in the back seat you silently watched the rest of the movie holding hands and stealing kisses in between frequently.

Once the movie was over, you quickly packed up everything and Steve started the drive back home. You reached over and ran a finger down his denim covered thigh, making him look over at you with a raised eyebrow at a red light.

“Were you serious about round two?” You asked with a cheeky grin.

“Extremely,” he replied and stepped his foot on the gas once the light turned green.

..................................................................................

Reblogs are appreciated ❤️

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x you #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington fanfic #joe keery #joe keery smut #joe keery x reader #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction

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kittenofdoomage · 1 year

Text

Summary: She’s a reclusive Omega who can’t walk away from someone in trouble, and he’s in trouble.

Prompt: Alpha!Sam Winchester, Cabin in the woods, Broken down car

Pairing: Alpha!Sam Winchester x female!Omega!reader

Word Count: 9106

Warnings: A/B/O, scenting, mating, fluff, teeny bit of angst, smut (fingering, knotting, biting), written in first person, canon-adjacent, pregnancy, canonical character death (S15 finale)

Ao3 Link

The rain was heavy. Heavy enough that I shouldn’t have been out in it but I sometimes think that the universe meant for me to be there.

Storms aren’t unusual here. It was one of the first things I noticed when I moved to my remote little hideaway in the mountains, how they seemed to have their own weather system. I’d expected it to be a different change of pace to the city, but I underestimated just how different it would be. That first night, surrounded by my boxed up belongings, I experienced real nighttime - the silence that was only disturbed by animals or the wind through the leaves, and the darkness that was never ending, producing unmatched views of the stars above the trees.

I loved it. I didn’t sleep that night because I was amazed by it all. I still love it.

It wasn’t complete isolation, of course. Further down in the valley there was a ranch, managed by a friendly family with adult children, and not two miles from my cabin, there was an identical one, owned and lived in by Mr. Collins. I think he’s a professor of something but he’s not the chattiest. I sometimes pick up supplies for him from town, just to help out, like a good neighbor, and also because he’s old as fuck and the thought of him driving the beat up rusted truck in his driveway makes me very anxious. He does sometimes, I think, but for the most part, I see him listening to the radio on his porch. The closest town is Harperville, about twenty miles away, just a handful of houses and farms, but big enough and close enough to the freeway to have a Walmart.

These mountains don’t get many visitors. There aren’t any big animals, nothing hunters would find interesting, and though there are some good hiking trails and fishing spots, it’s not easily accessible. Only one road cuts through, and in storms like this, it’s mostly flooded.

That’s how I met him.

I was on my way back from my weekly trip into town for groceries when the heavens opened. The road was already filling with water when I turned onto the single road through the mountains, so I took it slowly, wary of the various potholes the water was now concealing. My truck was pretty high off the ground, high enough that I needed a little step ladder on the side to even get in, but I still wasn’t taking the risk.

The trees thickened up quickly as I headed up the mountain, and the rain kept coming down, making it nearly impossible to see. I leaned forward as I clasped the wheel, trying to focus through the windshield, cascading water impairing my vision. The red brake lights were the first hint I had of another vehicle and as I drove closer, I realized that whoever it was had broken down.

Slowing, I looked around, trying to spot the owner of the car in the rain. It was still daylight, but in the thick of the trees, visibility wasn’t great, so I knew I had two options - try and find and maybe help whoever it was, or keep on driving and leave them to the elements.

I’m not hardwired to walk away from someone who needs help. My mom always used to say it was because of the Omega in me, but I hate to think that being a good person is dependent on your genetics. Leaving someone to suffer wasn’t in me, and besides, I carried protection for this sort of thing.

Putting the truck in park, I flicked my hazards on, though it was unlikely anyone would come up this way. It was unusual enough that this person, or persons, were there. I reached underneath the seat, pulling out the Beretta I kept there. It wasn’t loaded - I had the ammo, I just felt like the threat of being shot would be enough to get me out of any trouble I found. I wasn’t a huge fan of guns, but I recognized the need to protect myself.

The door clicked open as I pushed it, and rain immediately poured onto my legs. Sliding down onto the ground, I held the gun behind my back as I approached the car, looking around for any would-be attackers. The driver's side door opened as I got closer, so I stopped, waiting for whoever it was to emerge.

In the five years I’d been living my near-solitary existence, I’d never met an Alpha. The cities were full of them, hell, they were half the reason I moved away somewhere like Harperville.

He was tall, taller than any man I’d known before, well over six feet. His hair was long, plastered to his skull in seconds by the downpour, a few strands escaping to cling to his face. I didn’t know what to make of him once I got a good look at his features; I don’t think I’d ever met a man so handsome.

“Hi,” he said, almost sheepishly.

It took a second to find my voice. Sounds stupid, being awestruck by such a beautiful man, but I’ll admit, he really had me completely turned around for a moment. “Hi,” I finally replied, making sure to keep my weapon out of sight. “Breakdown?”

“Uh, yeah,” the Alpha chuckled, scratching at his face with a grin. “Can’t get a signal either.”

The rain was starting to ease off, but it was still loud on the poorly maintained tarmac. I stepped closer, trusting my instincts - I didn’t feel like I had anything to fear from him, which was something I should have paid attention to. “You won’t get one up here,” I informed him carefully. “There’s no getting back into town until the storm’s passed.”

“Damn,” he grunted, shoulders dropping. “Just my luck.”

I knew it was a stupid idea before I’d said it but that didn’t stop my dumbass mouth pumping the words out anyway. “I live just up a little further, you’re welcome to dry out at mine and use the landline.”

His features were even more attractive when he smiled, showcasing gorgeous dimples. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear his eyes literally sparkled. Either that or I need to lay off the romance novels. He nodded enthusiastically at my offer, wringing his hands as he came a little closer.

“That would be awesome.”

“Uh,” I glanced back, wondering if I should suggest pushing his car off the road, “hmm.”

“What?” he asked.

“You think we can push it off the road?”

“I think so.”

The rain didn’t help. I didn’t have a wealth of experience pushing cars anywhere but the Alpha had some strength behind him. Within a few minutes we had the car as far onto the verge as it could go, safely away from any possible traffic that could collide with it. I doubted anyone would be driving up this way but still, better safe than sorry.

Getting back into the truck was a relief and I managed to slide the gun back underneath the seat before he saw. I was soaked through, him too, and so far the rain had done a good job of blocking his scent. He reached his hand out, the movement sending a wave of his scent in my direction, and when I took his hand, I managed to make eye contact, getting caught in the myriad of colors in his eyes.

“I’m Sam,” he introduced himself, and I swallowed down the nervous ball that suddenly clogged my throat. I could smell melted chocolate and fresh cut grass, and all at once I felt warm and safe, despite how drenched I was.

Muttering my name, I practically snatched my hand back. “I don’t live far,” I added.

“Thank you,” he replied. “Not many people would stop and help a stranger. Let alone an Alpha.”

I smiled at him, turning the truck ignition. “That’s half the problem with the world today, right?”

Sam grinned back. “I guess it is.”

The rain was getting heavier again as I guided the truck up the road to my cabin, and when I parked up, I glanced at the backseat, full of groceries from the trip to town. Sam followed my line of sight, smiling when he looked back at me. “You mind giving me a hand?” I asked.

He nodded. “Least I can do.”

Apparently, Sam could carry in one trip what I would manage in three, so getting the bags inside took no time at all. I directed him to the phone and the phone book beside it, letting him know it was okay to call anyone he needed, and then left him to it while I cleared away the bags. By the time I was done, he was in the kitchen, a displeased expression on his face.

“No joy?” I asked, though I knew that Jerry’s Autoshop in Harperville would be closed by this time, and Jerry was usually pretty blunt about saying no.

“Not with a tow,” he sighed. “I managed to get ahold of my brother and let him know I wasn’t dead.”

“That’s something I guess,” I shrugged. “You want a coffee or anything?”

“Coffee would be great. Black, no sugar.”

I gestured to the small breakfast bar on one side of the kitchen, and he smiled his thanks, taking a seat and laying his now-useless cellphone on the counter. “I gotta ask,” I chuckled, “why are you all the way out here? The freeway is much quicker than going through the mountains.”

“Not a fan of the freeway,” he said softly. “Besides, it’s a nicer drive, y’know? When it’s not raining.” I laughed at that, nodding agreement. “Can I ask you something?”

I knew what was coming so I kept on with what I was doing, flicking the coffee pot on and turning to look at him. “Sure.”

“You’re an Omega,” he stated. I nodded. “Don’t Omegas usually live with someone? Like family o-or -”

“I did,” I answered gently. “Now I don’t.”

“Isn’t that… dangerous?”

The concern on his face was unreal, and I couldn’t help but laugh lightly, shaking my head. “I can protect myself,” I assured him. “Besides, it’s really not that dangerous to live alone. Or are you assuming that because I’m an Omega I’m weak or something?”

“Not at all,” he spluttered, clasping his hands together. “Sorry, I guess that was kinda rude. Just… you’re not like any other Omega I’ve met.”

“Why would I be?” I was teasing him now, mainly because he was downright adorable when he got all flummoxed. The tips of his ears were red, and he couldn’t even look at me straight. It was almost like torturing someone. “Relax, Sam, I’m playing. I know there’s a certain,” I sighed, trying to think of the word, “way Omegas are supposed to be. I’m just not that kind of Omega.”

“So I don’t have to worry about an Alpha appearing to kick my ass?”

His questions clicked. He was trying not to ask outright, but he had assumed I wasn’t a lonesome Omega. The assumption made my jaw tick because I hated when people thought Omegas couldn’t be perfectly fine and functioning without a knot to keep them happy, but that was just society. Sam was another conditioned product of society, just like I was before I left it all behind.

“No,” I said quietly. “Never needed one.”

That was a lie. I had needed one, once upon a time, and I would have hung the moon for him. He was my highschool sweetheart, Scott Tuckerson, and an eighteen year old, newly-presented me thought he was the one I’d be with for the rest of my life. Turned out he wasn’t so keen, but he stuck around long enough to pop my cherry then break my heart.

“What about you?” I asked suddenly, frowning a little when I realized how calm and collected he was. From my experience, Alphas around unmated Omegas were like cartoon coyotes, slobbering and grabbing at whatever they could get. If Sam had an Omega, that would explain how composed he was, though I hadn’t seen any claim mark on his throat. Maybe they didn’t reciprocate, or maybe they bit him somewhere else. It wasn’t unheard of.

“Uh, no, no Omega,” he murmured, staring at his hands.

“Huh.” The coffee pot dinged and the sound startled me for a second, making me do a little hop on the spot. Sheepishly, I turned away to hide my face, keeping my back to him as I fixed our drinks. When I carried his cup over and placed it in front of him, he smiled at me, and I smiled back without thinking, letting his warm and comforting scent lull me for just a second. The realization of what was happening sank in like a complete reset, leaving me standing there doing nothing but staring blankly, until Sam frowned.

“You okay?”

“What?” I must have looked like an idiot. Grinning at him, I shook my head. “Nothing, just something I forgot. Suddenly remembered.”

“Oh, what?”

I couldn’t think of anything. Shit. “Nothing important.” My brain fired off a suggestion. “I left some firewood uncovered. I’ll need to dry it out now.” Hi. My name is Y/N. I’m a bumbling numbskull. Backing up, I went for my own coffee, trying to appear casual. “So you were going to visit your brother?”

Sam nodded, sipping at his coffee before answering. “No, I was away for work,” the way he spoke was hesitant, and my mind instantly wanted to know what work entailed, “on my way back home.” He paused, and I opened my mouth to ask where home was, only for him to beat me to it. “Kansas,” he supplied, sipping his too-hot coffee again.

“That’s a long way for work,” I commented, hoping it would get more out of him.

“Yeah, I guess. It takes us all over.”

I could see I was going to have to be blunt about it. “What do you do?”

“Freelance investigator.” It came out so quickly and so smoothly that I blinked, unsure what exactly that would encompass. What did he investigate?

“Sounds interesting.”

“Not really.” The awkward silence stage was looming, though it seemed like Sam wanted to avoid that as much as I did. “What about you?”

“Me?” I hummed, wondering suddenly if I was being too open with this strange Alpha. “I work remotely. Editing. And it’s as boring as it sounds. Pays pretty good though.” Internally, I cringed. That probably was too much information.

Sam seemed interested, sitting a little straighter. “Editing? Like, for a publisher?”

“Anything really. I’ve worked with fiction, non-fiction. One year I did nothing but high school textbooks.” I chuckled, shaking my head. “Now I do sound boring.”

“Hey, boring can be good,” he argued. “Safe.”

It was an odd choice of word but I didn’t say anything, sliding onto one of the stools opposite him. The rain was still coming down outside, pattering loudly against the windows. “This could go for a couple of hours,” I mumbled apologetically.

His smile was fixed on me when I looked back at him, and it created a warm feeling in my stomach that I wasn’t entirely sure of. Still, I smiled back, unintentionally bathing in his scent.

He picked up his cup again, blowing on it lightly, eyes still on me. “I’m sure we can pass the time.”

It became apparent several hours later, when the storm hadn’t let up, and Jerry’s definitely wouldn’t be answering, that I was to entertain a guest for the evening. I wasn’t concerned by that point; Sam had shown himself to be a gentleman, an intelligent one at that, and I was more worried about the fact that I was enjoying his company. He was happy to take my moderately-sized couch for the night, and once I’d cooked dinner for us both, I escaped to my bedroom, trying desperately to breathe through my mouth so I didn’t intoxicate myself with his scent.

Naturally, none of my online friends were available for my crisis, so I ended up watching Netflix until I dozed off. Sam didn’t disturb me for anything, and I didn’t hear him moving around, but still, sleeping with a strange Alpha in the house had me restless.

I woke up when my phone started to play my usual morning jingle, and when I emerged from the bedroom, I was surprised to find Sam gone. All the blankets I’d supplied were folded and piled neatly on the couch, with a note delicately perched on top. I grabbed it, scanning the words.

Thank you for the rescue. Sam. W.

Pulling a face, I looked towards the door. He’d obviously woken early and called Jerry again, but I felt a little put out that he hadn't stuck around to say thanks in person.

Maybe it was for the best.

Over the next few days I put Sam out of my mind, during the day at least. My dreams didn’t quite get the memo, conjuring up intricate fantasies that seemed to linger in the morning. It seemed easier to keep busy rather than dwell on an Alpha I was likely to never see again, so I threw myself into work and chores, avoiding chances to think too much.

I wasn’t expecting him to show up again, a week later, wandering up my driveway. He was wearing a red plaid flannel this time, and I had to admit, it was definitely his color. Finishing up with the tomato plants I was repotting, I brushed the dirt from my gloves and removed them, stepping around the beds to the small gate of the fenced off garden.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you again,” I greeted, not bothering to keep the smile off of my face.

He returned it, shoving his hands in his pockets as he came to a stop only a few steps away from me. “Well, I wanted to thank you,” he chuckled, rocking on his heels. “And I wanted to check out the scenery in better weather.”

I couldn’t help but feel there was an innuendo there somewhere, or maybe it was my inner-twelve-year-old. “Is it worth it?” I asked daringly, arching an eyebrow at him.

Sam grinned. “Definitely.”

“It’s a long drive from Kansas just for the view. Wanna join me for some lunch?”

In hindsight, I should have realized I was already smitten. Sam was gorgeous, smart, funny, everything an Omega could ever dream of in a mate. I was breaking my golden rule but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to care. The man had driven twelve hours just to say thanks, the least I could was offer him lunch.

He only stayed for a few hours, leaving before dark. I assumed he’d parked on the main road and walked up but shortly before his departure, a black Impala - not the same car he’d broken down in - drove slowly up to the cabin. The man driving it was his brother, he informed me, though Dean didn’t get out to introduce himself.

I invited him back without even thinking about it. Three weeks in a row, he showed up at my door, and we ate lunch, talking about everything from politics to ancient history, though he remained cagey on details. I thought about it a lot in between visits, wondering if he had trust issues, trying to keep my thoughts away from darker truths he could be hiding.

When the week after his last visit rolled by and he didn’t show up again, I started to worry. He hadn’t left a number or even an address, and though he hadn’t come out and said it, I knew his job was a dangerous one. A week turned into ten days, and I was already at the point of imagining all sorts, wondering if it was better he never showed again considering how attached I’d become in such a short amount of time.

Thirteen days after we had lunch, he finally showed up, knocking on the door when I was watching movies on the couch. I wasn’t prepared for the relief I felt when I saw him, or the way I threw myself at him to hug him.

He was hurt. There was no missing the way he was holding his arm against his side, or the wince when I finally pulled away to look up at him. “I-I was worried,” I stuttered, a little embarrassed by my reaction. “You’re hurt.”

“I’m okay, I promise,” he murmured, giving me a half-smile that was slightly less than reassuring. “May I come in?”

I stepped back, opening my home to him again. He stepped in awkwardly, leaning heavily on his right side. “What happened?”

He sighed, and I shut the door, keeping a good distance between us. “I want to tell you the truth,” he finally said, “but I don’t wanna scare you, and I don’t want to lie to you either. All I can say is that there are things out there you wouldn’t believe and it’s my job to deal with them.”

My mind raced, piecing together everything he’d told me, unsure what was true and what wasn’t. I wanted to know everything, but it didn’t feel like Sam was about to tell me anything more than what I needed to know. Remaining by the door, I watched him for a moment, chewing the inside of my cheek.

“Need to know?” I asked hesitantly.

He nodded. “I promise, if you need to know anything… I won’t lie to you.”

Clasping my hands in front of me, I exhaled with a slow nod. “Okay.” I needed something else to focus on. “Lunch?”

Confusion landed on his features. “That’s it?”

“What’s it?”

“Most people don’t let something go like that.”

I smiled. “I’m not most people, remember? I trust you. If you wanted to murder me in my sleep, you would have done it already. If you tell me that I don’t need to know some things, then I can accept that.” He still looked confused, so I stepped towards him, attempting to redirect his attention. “So do you want lunch or not?”

This time when he left, I made him leave a number and an email, seeing as my cell didn’t always get texts through. I sent an email just to test it, getting an answer back within the hour, and from there we didn’t stop. Each ping on my laptop made me giddy, and I should have been at least mildly disgusted by the way I swooned over every message, but I wasn’t.

Sam was nothing like any Alpha I’d ever met. Around him I felt something like a belonging, always surrounded by that safe, calming feeling his scent gave me. There was no pressure for anything more, and that was beginning to make me want more.

Summer came and went. Sam’s visits weren’t always weekly; occasionally his job would take him too far away to return in time, though it was never that long between lunches. He never stayed the night, and never more than a few hours, which made it far easier to schedule his visits around my heats. I was nervous about whatever the next step was, but happier than I’d ever been to just roll with it.

Sometime in late September, he stopped answering my emails. His phone went straight to voicemail, and after a week had passed with no contact, I started to worry. I called the other number he’d given me, belonging to Dean, and when that had no answer, I turned to the internet.

I was not expecting what I found. I’d never Googled anyone before - never seen the need - so when the search engine dragged up more than a dozen pages about “Sam Winchester”, I was shocked to see several of them were for old arrest warrants, and two were reports of his alleged death. Reading through each one, I quickly fell into a rabbit hole, and when I found a set of books called “Supernatural” under one of the results, I couldn’t help but take a peek.

It was three am before I stopped. My mind was overloaded with information, fictional or not, I didn’t know, but I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t sleep, though it wasn’t entirely down to what I’d found; my concern for Sam’s wellbeing was beginning to outweigh that.

Four days later, I still hadn’t heard anything, and my heat was starting. I left one last voicemail on his cell, asking him to email me, then hid myself away in my comfiest pajamas to suffer through the next few days.

I only managed a few hours of sleep before there was a loud knock on the door of the cabin. Groggy and sweating like I’d run a marathon, I stumbled out of my room, not even guessing who could have been calling. It was still light out, and I squinted in the bright sunshine as I reached for the front door, opening it slowly.

Sam was on the other side. His face was bruised, and a bloody gash sat across the bridge of his nose. I stared up at him, confused by his appearance, disorientated by the flood of hormones in my system. “Sam?”

“Y/N,” he murmured, sounding relieved.

“What happened to you?” I croaked, clinging to the door for support. “You stopped answering - didn’t you get my voicemail?”

“I did,” he replied, “but my laptop’s busted and I was worried - you sounded, uh,” he scented the air, eyes widening and pupils dilating, “shit. You’re in heat.”

“Getting there anyway,” I muttered, shivering in my pajamas. They were beginning to get itchy, too much fabric on my skin. This part of my cycle was the worst, I hated things touching me, feeling too hot when they did. “It’s probably n-not -” My stomach twisted, and I yelped, letting go of the door to clutch my middle.

Sam’s hand brushed my shoulder. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” I gasped, shaking my head as his scent filled my nose. My whole body was vibrating towards him, and when the back of his hand pressed against my forehead, I practically cooed, leaning into the touch.

“You’re really warm.”

I sucked in a breath through my mouth, trying not to grab his hand when he pulled away. “Standard symptoms.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

My jaw dropped, but no sound came out, because I didn’t have an answer for him. I knew the smart thing was to send him away, let him come back when I was done with my heat. Letting him stay, letting him in, would only lead to one thing.

It was getting harder to remember why that was a bad thing.

“Y/N?”

Sam was staring at me, the expression on his face almost identical to one of his wanted posters. I remembered what I’d found, and it was enough to let the discomfort fade for just a second. “I need to know something,” I said softly, trying to stand a little straighter. “When you didn’t answer, I wanted to check you, uh, weren’t dead or anything. So I Googled you.”

The color drained from his face in a manner that would have been almost comical if I hadn’t read what I read online. He swallowed hard, opening and closing his mouth as he obviously attempted to say something. “Wh-what did you find?”

“A lot of weird shit,” I laughed, because it had been fucking weird. I hadn’t even read all of the Supernatural books - a chat forum had led me from those to apparent real life witness accounts that placed Sam and his brother in the vicinity of all sorts of crazy.

“Can you be specific?”

He looked so serious. I tilted my head, curious now about what he hadn’t wanted to lie to me about. “I found police reports, arrest warrants. Death certificates,” I told him. “And I found a lot of people who said you saved them.” Sam nodded, breaking eye contact, looking at the floor. “I also found these books -”

A groan left him. “Oh god, no -”

“Oh my god.” His gaze lifted to meet mine at my soft exclamation. “It’s all true, isn’t it? Everything in those books, online…”

He attempted a smile. “I said I never wanted to lie to you.”

“I’m not asking you to,” I snapped. “I spent the whole night reading about demons, angels, vampires, and an Alpha who can come back from the dead. They had autopsy reports on you, Sam! You’re like an urban legend.”

His shoulders sagged. “I’m a hunter.”

“Yeah, the books covered that.” I folded my arms across my chest. “Sounds like a lonely life.”

He chuckled, shoving his hands into his pockets again. “Sometimes. I got my brother.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” I confessed quietly. “I… I never needed an Alpha, you know? But now…”

“Now what?”

I met his gaze, smiling with a tiny shrug. “Now I kinda want one.”

“Just “one”?” he teased.

“You,” I confirmed shyly. “But I need to know some things first. It’s a little late for lunch. Dinner?”

“Only if you let me cook,” he accepted. “You can supervise from the couch.”

Sam was a good cook, I had to admit, even with my limited selection of foods. While we ate, I asked questions, mostly about the things I’d read online, and he was honest with me, opening my eyes to even more truths I’d been missing about the world. It was scary, thinking about the stuff he faced out there, but it made sense now I knew him; he was a hero, though he obviously didn’t think as highly of himself.

Eventually, I knew we had to discuss the matter at hand. My scent was getting thicker with every passing minute, and Sam’s was beginning to mingle with it. I knew when I let him in that it was unlikely he’d leave without the inevitable happening between us, but I wasn’t afraid of it.

When we were done eating, he cleaned up, even doing the dishes as I remained on the couch, watching him with one arm slung over the back. He worked quietly and quickly, and I couldn’t help admiring his rear profile. My mind easily wandered, and my body responded to my filthy thoughts.

Sam was almost done when he smelled it. His whole body went rigid, and I heard him sniff lightly. Sinking down into the cushions, I bit my lip just to stop myself from whining needily. I wasn’t surprised by strong heats these days - getting older without a mate naturally made it worse - but the force of the arousal I was feeling right then was nothing like I’d felt before.

I heard the sink drain, and then Sam’s footsteps came towards me. He cast a shadow over the couch, and I looked up at him, resisting the urge to reach up and grab him.

“It’s getting worse?” he asked, voice a little thick.

“Mmhmm.”

“Do you want me to go?”

If I asked him to, I believed he would. But I didn’t want him to. “No,” I stuttered.

He exhaled softly, walking around the couch to where my feet rested on the cushions. Lifting them by my ankles, he sat down, placing them on his lap before looking at me again. “We should really have a conversation about this,” he muttered, stroking his thumb over my bare ankle. I was certain such a simple touch shouldn’t have set my pussy on fire but I’d been certain of a lot of things that turned out to be wrong. “I nearly had an Omega before.” The confession made me freeze. “Her name was Jess.”

I was almost afraid to ask. “Wh-what happened to her?”

“She died. A long time ago. I never marked her… never got that far.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, lost for anything else I could say. I had very little experience with grief, something I was grateful for. “What was she like?”

Sam smiled. “She was beautiful. Smart. Funny. Confident.” He sighed, locking his eyes on mine. “She died because of me, because of the life I lived.” His thumb stopped, and I swallowed nervously. “I want you, Y/N. I want you so bad that I dream about it. But I’m scared - terrified - that I could lead something here, to you, and if anything happened to you -”

I shook my head, sitting up a little more, effectively snatching my feet out of his lap. “I can protect myself,” I reminded him.

“Not against demons,” he argued. “Not against angels, o-or vampires -”

“Then show me how.”

His eyes widened. “Y/N, this life is dangerous. I couldn’t drag you into it.”

“You’re not dragging me anywhere,” I replied, smirking at him. “This is my home, Sam. I like my independence. I don’t expect you to look after me.”

“Alphas are supposed to protect their Omegas,” he whispered.

I snorted unattractively. “Yes, and when that was relevant, Omegas couldn’t hold land or vote.”

He frowned. “Okay, point taken,” he conceded. “But that doesn’t mean I should leave you out here where you’re so isolated, anything could happen -”

“Newsflash,” I interrupted. “Anything can happen anytime. If I learn what to look out for, learn how to lay the, the -” Clicking my fingers, I tried to remember the word he’d used when he was describing their home.

“Warding,” he provided.

“Learn how to lay the warding… me staying here is no different to me staying at your bunker while you drive across the country.” I screwed up my face at the thought of so much time in a car. “And that doesn’t sound appealing either.” Looking over at the window, I noticed how dark it was. “Wow, it got late. Won’t, uh, won’t Dean be here to pick you up soon?”

Sam shrugged. “He booked a room at the Motel 6 near Walmart. Told me to call him whenever I was ready. I didn’t know you were gonna be…” He gestured towards me, and I smiled a little. “How are you feeling now?”

“Tired,” I yawned, resting my head on the back of the couch.

“Do you have a tv in your room?”

“I have a laptop.”

He chuckled. “That’ll do, I guess. I saw a bag of chocolate pretzels in the cupboard. You wanna take them in the bedroom and fall asleep to Lord Of The Rings?”

I grinned at him goofily. “You really are perfect.”

Whatever I was expecting from an Alpha in the bedroom, it wasn’t my favorite movies and snacks. Sam even kept his pants on, removing his upper layers and his boots, and he didn’t complain when I stole most of the blankets. He didn’t crowd my space either, even though it would have been difficult in my comfortably large bed. I curled up on my preferred side where I could comfortably see the screen at the bottom of the bed, and he kept to the other, though the distance did nothing to stop his scent from creeping over.

I fell asleep halfway through the Fellowship Of The Ring. It wasn’t unusual for the first day or two of my heat to leave me exhausted, just like it wasn’t unusual for me to be easily aroused, but having an Alpha nearby was making that an almost permanent state. My dreams reflected that need, and when I woke, the orcs were taking Merry and Pippin to Isengard, and I had soaked through my pajama bottoms.

I didn’t even think before I started to strip down, kicking off anything that touched my sensitive skin, and completely forgetting about the Alpha in my vicinity. His scent flared as I moved, and I froze halfway through dragging my shirt over my heart, meeting Sam’s slightly panicked gaze.

“Shit,” I blurted out. “I forgot you were here.”

He smiled, a nervous twitch at the corner of his mouth. “You shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable on my account,” he stuttered.

There was nothing to be done about my lower half, though my panties still covered most of my dignity, despite how wet they were. I could smell myself, and wondered what it was doing to Sam - it took pretty much all my willpower not to look at his crotch as I tugged my tee back down over my sports bra. “I just get really hot,” I mumbled, fixing my eyes on the tv screen again.

Sam chuckled again, shifting on the bed. “No need to explain,” he promised, gesturing to the laptop screen. “I started the next one. You seemed kinda out of it.”

I really hoped I wasn’t making noises. The thought of it made my insides twist with embarrassment. “Sorry.”

He smiled as he shook his head. “Seriously. I get it. I’ve had a rut or two. Dealing with that on a monthly basis must suck.”

“It turns into routine after a few years,” I shrugged, finding it difficult to find a comfortable position now I was awake. “I’ve had worse. Maybe you being here is helping.” Lifting my head, I looked at him again, surprised to find a soft frown on his face. “You know, your scent.”

“Makes sense.”

The movie was easily forgotten now I had looked at him again. I wanted to kiss him, to feel his lips against mine. There was only a few inches between us; it would be so easy just to lean in -

“You okay?”

His concerned voice seemed to jolt me out of a trance I hadn’t realized I was in. Caught staring, I grinned dopily, then moved to find a more comfortable position, narrowing the space between us. “Can’t get comfortable,” I complained, hearing his low chuckle in reply.

“Maybe I can help with that,” he offered, shifting on the pillows until he was propped against the headboard, one arm stretched out and just welcoming me into the curve of his body. I sat up, looking at him hesitantly with my bottom lip caught between my teeth. He flicked his hand, then nodded at the space. “If my scent’s helping…” he trailed off, obviously assuming I hadn’t understood.

But I had. This felt like a point of no return.

He jerked his chin up, but before he could say anything, I moved, carefully laying up against him, my head on his chest and my overheating body next to his. His arm dropped from above me, settling around my shoulders as a comfortable weight, almost familiar like it belonged there. I inhaled, tasting his scent on my tongue, letting it imprint in my mind.

“Better?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

It was difficult to concentrate on the movie when he was so warm right next to me. I was sure my knees were shaking, and I couldn’t keep my feet still. Sam’s hand dropped down after a while, his fingers stroking the bare skin below my sleeve, and it was sending shivers down my spine on every brush. My mind wandered, thinking about touching him back; my hand twitched with the urge to slide over the front of his jeans, and I could feel my heart racing.

He must have been able to smell it. It felt like there would be a wet patch underneath me if I moved.

“Y/N?”

I lifted my head to look up at him, freezing as soon as I realized how close my face was to his. “Yeah?” My voice came out raspy, so I cleared my throat as gently as I could. “Yes?”

“You’re shaking,” he whispered, cupping my cheek with one huge hand. His long fingers caught in my hair, and his palm was so warm against my cheek, I couldn’t resist the impulse to lean into it. “‘Mega.”

I’d never been called by that title with such desperation. I tipped my head back as he lowered his mouth to mine, and the kiss was just as thrilling as I expected. My heart pounded in my chest, and when he swept his tongue against my lips, I parted them, meeting him halfway as the kiss got deeper. The angle of my body was putting a strain on my muscles but I ignored it in favor of the taste of my Alpha, grabbing his shirt when I pulled away to snatch a breath.

“Is this okay?” he asked, nuzzling into me.

A stupid grin pulled at my face. “Yeah.”

He kissed me again, and this time, I had a little more bravado, cupping him through his jeans. He was already hard, thick under my palm, and when I squeezed him, he moaned into my mouth, thrusting his hips a little.

“Take the pants off,” I whispered, though I hated the thought of him pulling away. With a nod, he moved, so I took the opportunity to remove my t-shirt, tossing it in the general direction of the laundry basket. He was only halfway out of his jeans, shimmying them down his long legs, and I swallowed when I caught sight of the tent in his boxers. He stripped his shirt off too, and then returned to where he’d been, meeting my gaze almost shyly.

How could he be shy looking like that?

My mouth felt dry as I drank him in, noticing the black tattoo on his chest. Without thinking I reached out to brush my fingers against it, recognizing the design from things I’d seen online.

“It protects me from demon possession,” he explained hesitantly, like the information would scare me.

I should have been scared. But it was easier to shove what I’d learned aside to deal with it later, when there weren’t other, more pressing issues. When I pulled my hand back, he caught it, tugging me closer to kiss me again, and I let him sweep me away. I could barely separate my scent from his now, and I was yearning for more of him.

“Take this off,” he grunted, plucking at the elastic of my tatty bra. I didn’t stop to think, hauling the damn thing off and throwing it, uncaring where it landed. Sam’s hands were instantly on my bare tits, cupping and squeezing them, all the while demanding my attention with hungry kisses that left me breathless and dizzy.

We were horizontal now, and I could feel his erection poking into me through the damp cotton of his boxers. My instinct was to grind against him, and I went with it, drunk on arousal now, unable to think beyond having his bare skin on mine. I felt hot all over, and his touch was scorching, but I was craving it.

One big hand snaked around my hip, dragging me harder against him, and I shifted, lifting my leg to drape it over him, allowing his cock to rub right against my covered sex. He groaned, breaking the kiss to look at me with a lidded gaze, and I realized he was panting.

“If you want me to stop -” he started, but I cut him off, pressing one finger against his swollen lips.

“Don’t,” I whispered. “I don’t.”

He moaned, kissing me again, and the hand on my hip wandered down, long fingers stroking me through my panties. I whimpered, desperate for friction, desperate for anything, and that only made him touch me with more force. He rubbed along my pussy, pulling back to watch my face, and I knew what he wanted. A second later, my hips jerked, and I felt my face scrunch up at the sudden burst of pleasure where his fingertip had found my clit. He smiled, finding it easily this time, watching my expression dissolve as he rubbed the tiny bundle of nerves.

I shuddered in the cage of his arms, pinned against him. The stimulation was simultaneously too much and not enough - I wanted him inside me but it felt too good to stop him. I dug my nails into his shoulder, rocking my hips to expose myself a little more, and the plea for him to let me cum lingered on my lips. Sam seemed to know exactly what he was doing, and I couldn’t hope to stop the waves of pleasure that made my whole body tremble. The orgasm soaked through my panties, and my Alpha hummed as he felt the damp on his fingers.

His fingers moved, tugging my panties to the side, and I gasped as he circled my hole, teasing me by dipping into it. He was still watching me, biting his bottom lip as he sank the single digit in, stroking me from the inside. “You’re so tight,” he murmured, fucking his finger into me. “You’re not -”

“No,” I hummed, shaking my head. “But it’s been a long time.”

He smiled at that, leaning in to kiss the corner of my mouth. “I’ll be your last.”

My mind automatically provided a witty comment to his cheesy statement but it never made it out of my mouth. A second finger penetrated me, and I crumbled, clinging to him as I adjusted to the new stretch, biting back a cry as he worked both digits in and out, letting my pussy coat them. I could hear how wet I was, and on the coattails of my first climax, I was ready to skip the prep and let him take me.

“Sam -”

“Sssh, not yet,” he murmured. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

I nodded, too afraid to speak in case I cried out. Every nerve in my body felt raw, like an electric current was running through me, and it felt so good, I was scared to lose control. Sam hummed, pulling his fingers out, and I instantly rolled onto my back, only to find my panties stripped down, and his fingers at my sex again, pushing my thighs apart. With more space, he pushed his fingers inside me again; I cried out, spreading my legs as he lowered his mouth to my breasts.

Between his fingers fucking me open and his tongue tormenting my aching nipples, I couldn’t focus. My heart thundered, and I couldn’t seem to breathe fast enough, twisting my hands in the sheets underneath me just to try and ground myself. I wanted to cum again, but letting it happen felt impossible.

“Cum for me again,” Sam urged, abandoning my tits to nuzzle at my cheek, “just once more, and I’ll give you what you want.”

I nodded, replaying his words over and over. His fingers twisted inside me, calloused pads dragging against my inner walls, and then his thumb brushed my clit, making me jerk in surprise. He chuckled, nose bumping against my jaw.

“Just let go,” he purred.

It was too much. I held my breath, biting my lip so hard it hurt, but it didn’t overwhelm the pleasure as I started to cum. Sam kept talking but it was far away and I was spinning, unable to process anything except the thick fingers inside me, my cunt clenching around them.

My head hit the pillow, and he withdrew, wiping his hand on his boxers. I kept my eyes closed, trying to calm my breathing - in through the nose, out through the mouth - but I could feel him beside me, feel his breath on my shoulder. “You okay?” he asked.

“You ask that a lot,” I mumbled, cracking one eye to look at him, then opening both. “I’m very good.”

He grinned. “Do you have anything in mind for what happens next?” I shrugged, because I hadn’t given it much thought beyond wanting his cock inside me. “Like… condom?”

“Oh.” Lifting up onto my elbows, I pouted. “I don’t have any but I’m on birth control.”

“I think I have one -” He made to move but I grabbed him to stop him.

“Don’t,” I whispered, shaking my head. “It’s okay, I trust you.” We were close again now, and I didn’t fight the urge to kiss him, pulling him as close as I could get. His boxers still covered him, so I dropped my hand, eager to get rid of them. My fingers slipped under the waistband easily, and I gasped when I wrapped my hand around him, a thrill running through me at how thick he was. He moaned at my touch, rutting into my hand lightly. “I just want you inside me,” I murmured, a bolder with the heat running through my veins.

Sam nodded, taking charge, pushing my hand away so he could remove his boxers. He coaxed me back until I was underneath him, his knees between mine, kissing me to distract me from the weight of his cock against my thigh. “I’m gonna knot you,” he warned quietly. I whimpered. “I’m gonna leave my mark here,” he added, dropping his head to nip at the column of my throat.

He was leaving room for any protest I might have had but I didn’t have one. I spread my legs willingly, watching hungrily as he got onto his knees and fisted his cock, thumbing the tip through my folds. He moved slowly, penetrating me with an agonizing pace, leaving me breathless with the stretch as he rocked into me.

“Fuck,” he gasped, finally burying himself, slumping forward to catch his weight on his hands either side of me. I met him in a kiss, wrapping my legs around him, wanting him as deep as possible, unwilling to ever let go of the blissful feeling of having him like this. There didn’t appear to be any rush on his part either, as he kept kissing me, his weight pinning me down.

The initial intensity faded, and he moved first, shallow thrusts to start. I yelped when he threw in a hard stroke, his cock hitting a point of intolerable ecstasy inside me; he grabbed my hip with one hand and shifted all his weight onto the other, picking up a harder pace. My body was accommodating him, and I could feel how wet I was as he started to withdraw a little further, slamming in a little harder.

I cried out, digging my nails into his shoulder, and he responded by burying his face in my throat, biting at the spot he’d marked earlier. Nipping became harder bites, and I slid my hand through his thick hair, inciting him further as I started to cum. My pussy clenched around him, and I felt his knot at the base - the thought of how he’d fill me was arousing enough that it spurred on my orgasm. Instinct led my nose to his throat, but I wasn’t expecting the next urge.

I wanted to mark him first.

Biting softly, I tested his reaction. His grip on me tightened, and his teeth at my throat got a little harder. I moaned, struggling to keep my mind on one track, clinging to him as he fucked me harder.

“Do it,” he grunted, right in my ear.

His knot was swelling. He was close. I shuddered, biting a little harder, almost scared to hurt him. He groaned and his knot popped, forced inside me with a hard thrust. My teeth sank through his skin, and as I tasted his blood, I started to cum again, feeling him bite me back as he filled me to the brim.

I needed to breathe. Releasing his throat, I pulled my head up and he released me, lifting onto his arms to look down at me. There was blood on his lips - mine - and I could still taste his on my tongue. He leaned down, kissing me softly, still rutting his hips though he couldn’t move far.

The movie hadn’t finished. The battle for Helm’s Deep had just begun, and I giggled when I realized the laptop was slightly further towards the end of the bed. Sam followed my line of sight, smirking when he noticed.

“We can restart it when we can, uh… move,” he suggested.

I giggled. “Maybe a different position next time?”

Several years later…

I had been anxious since I woke up. The mountains were clouded, thick fog filling the air, and it resembled my mood. Sam was supposed to be home today. It was the last time.

We’d made it work over the years. He was dedicated to something he couldn’t skip out on, and something I wasn’t keen on being a part of. I didn’t hide from the truth, but I also didn’t have the physical strength to slap a machete through someone’s neck because I wasn’t a hero. Sam detested the term, but it was what he was.

I’d nearly lost him half-a-dozen times. Angels, demons, gods, monsters, all of those things tried to take him from me. But every time, he’d walk away, and he’d come back, spending a night or two before another case pulled him from the cabin and back onto the road.

Things were different now. They’d been different since Sam and his brother defeated God himself, but that had only been the beginning of the change. Now, Sam had no call to the road. His brother was dead, laid to rest, and I was waiting for him.

The clouds started to clear in the afternoon, and I went for a nap, exhausted easily by the life growing inside me. A boy, or so Dr. Wentworth in Harperville tells me. All I could tell you was that the next four weeks couldn’t come quick enough.

I was woken by the sound of an engine, rumbling towards the house. My eagerness to see Sam made me move a little quicker than usual, and by the time I was out the front door, he was climbing out of the Impala, pausing with one hand on the roof as he gazed down at the driver’s side. I stopped on the porch, watching him, feeling the ache for his grief. He missed Dean. But he was honoring him now.

“Hey,” I called softly, waving to him, and he looked up as if he had only just noticed me, smiling. He closed the driver’s side door, opening the back for Miracle to jump out. The dog yapped, running up to the house, past me and inside, probably finding her bed after the long drive. Sam followed her, stopped at the step below me, smiling brightly. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he murmured. “All locked up. Felt weird. It was home for so long…”

I knew he would miss the bunker but this was the start of something new. “This is your home, Sam,” I whispered softly. “It was just waiting for you.”

Thanks for reading, please consider reblogging, maybe with a comment, or a gif? 🥰

#sam winchester x reader #female!reader #first person pov #sam winchester fanfic #sam winchester fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #smut #a/b/o #A/B/O #alpha!Sam Winchester

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paperstorm · 6 months

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You know what? Since we're in our 9/11 TK feels...remember the flashback scene in 1x09 when Owen and Gwyn are loudly fighting about Owen missing TK's birthday while TK is trying to play with his firetruck and he starts to quietly cry while listening to them??

Do I remember. Does it HAUNT ME 😭😭 that scene breaks my whole entire heart (and inspired a lot of scenes in The Firehouse). He’s just a little boy. He just wants to be enough to keep his family together. And he still blames himself 20 years later for being the reason his parents stopped loving each other which shows how deep those scars go and that neither of his parents ever did enough to keep him from feeling that way. Little baby boy with his chin resting on his knee, sadly playing with the fire truck his dad probably gave him as a present but all it did was leave little teeny TK even more aware that he isn’t loved as much as the firefighters his dad works with, that he isn’t good enough because he’s just a kid and not a hero like them. That little kid growing into a young man who became a firefighter because it was the only real way he thought he could get his dad’s attention. I weep.

#911ls asks

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chaotic-on-main · 8 months

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Sky, first of all, let me congratulate you on reaching 250 followers! You are an absolute star and seeing all your fantastic accomplishments is a sight to behold!💖💖😊 Second, I think I would like a matcha green tea with kitchen sink from the ice cream truck please! Specifically, kitty acquisition!🐈😻 Thank you so very much and keep being awesome! :)

Order up!! One matcha green tea with everything but the kitchen sink for Cas!!

Sky's Summer and 250 Follower Event!

☾ Pairing ➼ Levi Ackerman x gn!Reader

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ modernAU, alluded animal abuse (very very little!), cat dad!Levi, kitty adoption, fluff, established relationship

☾ A/N ➼ Hi Cas!! Thank you so much for sending this request in, it's so cute!! The kitty acquisition line is so funny even tho it took me ages to understand what you meant (my fault). Just imagining him being soft to animals that need love?? UGH I WANT HIM. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!! 💕 (Also I hope you're hanging in there still! Tropical storms are so scary and I'm sending you all the best wishes and vibes your way)

☾ Word Count ➼ ~2.9k

Levi is always really good at keeping surprises from you. No amount of pestering nor poking would make him relent his deepest darkest secrets. Even when you pulled the birthday card and asked for even the smallest of hints, he didn’t budge.

You suppose that wasn’t the worst thing, but you’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t the littlest peeved at it even though you knew it would benefit you in the long run.

So, when Levi blindfolded you the moment you both buckled into his car for the afternoon, you can’t help but sigh heavily. He told you to dress casually and you both skipped lunch, so you knew he was taking you out to eat.

Why he wouldn’t show you where he was taking you though was beyond you. You knew this town like the back of your hand so where could he even take you that you wouldn't know?

“Levi, you’ve kept me on my toes for a whole month. At least tell me something about it?” You whine. The speakers around you play the shared playlist you and Levi had made together in an effort to stop fighting over who got the music that day – the rule being each artist would get 5 songs each. You managed to swing 10 for a couple artists, which of course was met with an eye roll.

“You’ve waited one month. What’s another 15 minutes?” He grumbles next to you. You feel his hand sit on your thigh and squeeze your flesh gently.

“Just one teeny-tiny smidgen?”

“Fine. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said one small thing. That’s all you get.” There’s a hint of a smirk in his voice, which only makes you huff quietly.

There are a few turns and stops here and there but eventually, you feel the car slow to a stop before hearing Levi moving the gear stick into park. He turns the car off, the jingling of keys filling up the now empty space.

"Are you ready?" He asks off to the side.

"Yes!" Then you feel his long fingers hooking into the blindfold and tugging up and out of your eyes then over your head.

It takes a few hard blinks before your vision can make sense of the brightness around you. At first you notice you’re in front of some sort of shopping center. Upon further investigation, you’re in front of a café.

There are big, wide glass windows on the entire exterior wall, littered with various paw prints and cat vinyl stickers. On one of the windows reads ‘Whiskers Perch’ with a cat paw holding up a steaming mug of something. Your first thought is it’s a cat themed café but then your eyes snap to movement right below the name �� it’s a tabby cat doing the biggest stretch known to man.

This isn’t just a cat themed café.

This is a cat café.

And Levi took you here for your birthday because you’ve always wanted to visit one of these.

“Oh my, Levi..” Your voice trails off as you look over to your boyfriend of many years. He’s eyeing you cautiously as he gauges your reaction. You give him a wide smile and lean over to kiss him on the cheek softly.

“This is the best thing ever! I see why you wanted to wait to show me.” You can’t hold back the squeal that comes out as you unbuckle yourself from the seat. Levi softly huffs in amusement next to you as he does the same.

When you and Levi walk in, you’re met immediately by a hostess wearing a long apron and cute pink top. She smiles at you both as she looks up from the pad in her hand.

“Hi! Welcome! What name is your reservation under?” Her pretty eyes bounce between the two of you.

“Ackerman.” Levi says. The hostess’ eyes trail down her pad before releasing a small ‘ah!’ and marking something down.

“Great, looks like you booked for an hour and fifteen. Follow me this way!” She chirps as she sits the pad down on the wooden podium.

As the hostess leads you to your reserved spot, you don’t hesitate to ogle at everything around you. The café is quite large, which you wouldn’t have guessed from just the outside alone. There’s one central lobby where cats freely roam – either sleeping on the many towers or playing with each other and the miscellaneous toys lying about. You don’t spot the patrons right away but as you move further in, you notice there are semi-enclosed rooms lining the outer walls.

Each room has an archway as an entrance, kept wide open so that cats and patrons can come and go, and above each door is a number – the max going to 24. Most of the booths are filled with multiple people, all eating and drinking with cats lingering around them. The best thing about the little enclosed alcoves was that the noise level is minimum.

She takes you to an alcove off to the left, labeled number 8.

“Your waiter will be with you momentarily. Please take a few minutes to read through the rules if you haven’t already.” She smiles widely at the two of you as you settle in before taking off back to the front.

There are a couple small menus in front of you and you reach over to pick them up. One is a menu for food and drinks and the other is a rules list.

1. Be gentle – no tugging or pulling.

2. No loud noises.

3. Do not pick up the cats – let them come to you.

4. Do not share the food/drinks with the cats.

5. Cats are cats, we are not held liable for any damage they may cause you.

6. If there’s any emergency, do not hesitate to alert a team member.

7. Feel free to take pictures and have fun!

8. Some cats may be up for adoption – please ask a team member if you might be interested.

A lot of these rules are common sense, though you can't blame them for reiterating them for those who need it. The last rule catches your eye and you find yourself flicking your gaze up and over the menu to Levi. He’s busy looking at the drink menu and pays you no mind. Is this why he said this was a bad idea?

“Are there any teas you want to try?” Levi asks over to you, his eyes still glued to the laminated menu in his hands.

“You’re the tea connoisseur, I trust you.” You shrug your shoulders as your eyes graze the menu in front of you. The teas had fancy names with their blends underneath and truth be told, it was all a little overwhelming. Best to leave it to Levi, you think. But the food…

Your waiter comes by a few moments later to take the orders, dropping off a teapot and a couple of cups right after. As Levi stirs the leaves around, you take this chance to stare out to the lobby. There are a myriad of cats running about but none paying much mind – except for a small jet black one sitting high in one of the cat towers.

Bright yellow eyes stare into yours from far away. You can’t see much of him as he’s tucked in high, but from what you can see, there are a few nicks in his ears and his face is quite round. Besides his eyes, everything is dark – like a black void. He only sits and stares at the two of you, despite you trying to coax him to come closer.

“Levi, I think this one is plotting our murder.” You mutter, pointing towards the dark void.

“Well, it is a cat. That’s just how they are.” Levi says back jokingly. Satisfied with the steeping time, he pours a dark red liquid into the cups before sliding yours over to you so you can make it up as you like with the ingredients offered. Levi leans back with his cup in hand, the way he always does, and takes a careful sip as he eyes you doing the same.

The flavor is wonderful, and you can’t even begin to categorize the different notes. It’s sweet and floral, almost earthy in tones – with a light spice. Levi always knew how to pick a good tea. You lean back in your seat and sigh in content.

“This is good.” You say finally, setting the cup and saucer back down on to the table with a clink.

“It’s not half bad.”

“Not half bad? That’s some high praise from Levi Ackerman.” You joke, raising an eyebrow at him.

Suddenly there’s a shift in weight on your booth as a large short-haired orange cat leaps onto it. It’s tan striped with a few white spots across his face. Wide hazel eyes stare up at you.

Mrrooww!

“Oh look at you!” You coo down as you place your hand on his head and start scratching. His fur is soft and you feel his body vibrating under you as he purrs loudly. Trailing your fingers down his red collar, you pinch the tag between two fingers and lean down for a closer look.

“Milo huh? You are such a cuties.” You whisper down to him. He lets you pet his back a couple more times before circling around and lying down next to you. His eyes are closed instantly, deciding this is his new napping spot. You place your hand on his soft belly and pet it, eliciting more purrs.

You and Levi fill the time before the food came with talks of what you’d like to do that evening. As cats came for face rubs and left with happy purrs, you ultimately decide you want to stay home and make dinner together then maybe settle in with a movie. Levi, of course, agreed easily as he was not one who liked to be out at night anyways – but he was always willing if you wanted it. The idea of going out for your birthday became less appealing as the years came and went. Well, with the exception of the cat café, of course.

The next time your eyes survey the lobby is after the waiter comes by to pick the empty plates in front of you. You immediately spot the same black cat from earlier. He’s much closer this time, sitting back on his hind legs with his front paws barely passing through the arch. Those electric eyes stare up but not at you. They’re staring straight at Levi, who stops talking to look over once he realizes your attention is no longer on the conversation.

“Levi, I think the murder he’s plotting is yours.” You say quietly. An attempt to ‘pspsps’ is made but to no avail. Not even a glance is thrown your way. The cat slowly blinks before standing up on all fours and leaving.

“If I go missing, you’ll know it was him.” Levi says back dryly.

You snort at that as your hands reach down under the table to pet the long white fur belonging to a Himalayan cat that had laid claim to your lap halfway through your meal. You don’t fight the urge to boop the soft pink nose of your new friend. A baby blue eye cracks open at you from the sudden touch but she just curls up even more on your legs, stretching her paws out to show you matching soft pink beans.

“How much time do we have left, do you think?” You ask Levi as you look up at him. He’s watching you intently with those dark eyes of his and there’s a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he does.

“About another 20 minutes.” He glances at his phone screen to check the time. You peep the screen and notice his background is a picture of you sitting on the central fountain in your town’s square, mid-laugh as you try hide from the camera. It was taken a few weeks ago and you wonder how long he’s had it like that. It’s intriguing considering he always kept the original images that came with the phone upon first purchasing it, but you don’t press.

There’s a soft ding to the right of you and when you look down, you see that the black cat is back – this time with a small silver toy in his mouth. It seems to be a bell attached to a string. In a swift motion, he jumps up to Levi’s booth and sets it down next to Levi before sitting back on his haunches and staring up into Levi’s startled eyes.

This is the first cat to approach Levi the entire time you have been there. And he was brought a gift no less. You find yourself quietly giggling at the sight and don’t hesitate to snap a picture of their stare off.

mew

The quiet mewl he makes melts your heart immediately.

“He brought you dinner.” You say softly.

“She, actually.” The waiter that had left with the check earlier is back now, setting the black book and pen down in front of Levi. “She’s unusually quiet for her breed, so it’s nice to see her so open with a patron. What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.” Levi grumbles, taking the pen and signing the merchant receipt in his neat handwriting.

“Can I ask what kind of cat she is? And what happened to her?” You eye the nicks in her ears. There are a few chunks taken out, all fully healed.

“She’s a rescue. Before coming here, she was locked in a cage at all times. You see, she’s a bombay so you can imagine what they held her for. They’re quite rare.” The waiter says sadly. They perk up quickly though, and smiles over to Levi. “But she’s really taken a liking to you.”

Levi carefully reaches over and his hand hovers over her head in hesitation. She initially pulls back and you can see the gears in her head rolling as she considers Levi. She opts to sniff his hand and that’s it.

They do look good together, you think.

“Can I ask- is she up for adoption?” Levi’s eyes snap to yours.

“We don’t have room for a cat right now.” He mutters quietly.

“Shush.” You wave your hand at him before turning your attention back to the waiter.

“She is! Would like me to get the paperwork?”

“Now hold on a minute-“

“Levi, look how much she likes you!” You stretch your arms out to the black cat who had not moved a muscle during this whole interaction. Yellow eyes blink slowly up at Levi.

“That doesn’t refute the fact that we barely have the space nor time to take care of her.”

“We’ll make room. Besides, I work from home so I can keep an eye on her!”

Levi says your name with exasperation, narrowing his gaze at you.

“She needs a home.” You say, and even more quietly, “Plus, it’s my birthday.”

“You’re impossible.” He grumbles before turning his attention back to black cat next to him. There’s no collar around her neck. “What’s her name?” He asks, looking up to the waiter.

“She never came with one nor did she answer to one.” The waiter purses his lips.

“Would you like to come home with us?” Levi asks gently to the cat. You swear you see her round eyes widen as another quiet mewl escapes her. His expression has softened considerably and the tone he uses makes your heart jump. It's all laced with adoration. Slowly raising your phone up, you take another photo.

Levi straightens up and clears his throat before raking his fingers through his hair as he thinks. His eyes slide over to you, almost as if he was checking one more time if this is really what you want. You give him two thumbs up.

“Fine, bring me the paperwork.”

Half an hour later, the adoption papers were official and you are both sitting in his car, the silence almost deafening. Your new family member curls up in the carrier that was provided to you to take, and you turn around in your seat to watch her sleep.

“Are you mad?” You whisper over to Levi.

“No.” Levi turns the keys, the car rumbling to life right away.

“Are you sure?” You bite your lip nervously.

“Yes, I’m not mad. Just-“ He looks over to you. “This is our first pet together. I’m…”

“Levi, are you nervous?”

“No. Maybe. I don’t know.” Levi grips the steering wheel and puts the gear in reverse. He checks the rearview mirror for any oncoming traffic, his gaze dipping down to the black cat in the backseat.

“You’re going to be a great cat dad, Levi.” You smile over at him. He just sighs softly as he pulls out of the parking spot, eyes alert to anything that might come in his blindspots.

“We’ll see. Have you thought of a name?”

“I was thinking Bleptholomew.” You say back with confidence.

“Absolutely fucking not.” He says quickly, eyes cutting over to you from the mirror. “Besides, that sounds like a boy's name.”

“Pft, cats can be named anything. They don’t believe in gendered names.” You cross your arms over your chest with a fake pout.

“Anything else?”

“Frankie?”

As Levi drives out of the parking lot and into the busy street, he reaches over and gives your thigh a squeeze.

“Frankie it is.”

#sky's summer event #hehe kitty acquisition #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x gn!reader #levi x gn!reader #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #fluff #cat dad!levi #modern au #asks #answered

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clusterbuck · 1 year

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37 (if you're still taking prompts)

@loveyougoodbi and an anon also asked for prompt! (“you have plans that don’t involve me? since when?”)

i am also counting this as seven sentence sunday since @rewritetheending and @hattalove tagged me and the rules are made up and i said this counts! anyone who wants to be tagged for seven sentence sunday can consider this their tag

“you have plans that don’t involve me?” buck asks, craning his head over the back of eddie’s sofa to peer down the hallway where eddie’s just disappeared into his bedroom. “since when?”

“i do things without you,” eddie calls back, muffled like he’s speaking through a shirt.

“yeah?” buck asks. “name one time.”

“i took the truck in for an oil change last week,” eddie says. “you didn’t come with me.”

“that doesn’t count,” buck says. “you know what i mean.”

eddie walks back into the living room, buttoning up one of his cuffs. “okay, so i can’t think of anything off the top of my head,” he huffs. “that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.” he tugs at his left cuff, then sighs, holding his hand out to buck. “can you do this one for me?”

buck reaches for the shirt and the teeny tiny button, glancing up at the rest of the shirt, at the way eddie seems to have put more effort than usual into his hair, at—

“is that a date outfit?” he blurts out, then wonders why the words taste so acrid on his tongue.

“i, uh—yeah,” eddie says, pulling his hand back from buck’s grasp to scratch at the back of his head. “yeah, it is.”

“you invited me over to watch you go on a date?” buck asks. his words sound like they’re coming from far away, like there’s a layer of unreality settling over the room and making everything a little hazy. he can hear his pulse in his ears, like his whole head is trapped inside a conch shell.

eddie frowns. “no, i invited you over to watch christopher while i—uh. go on a date.”

“right,” buck says, nodding his head far more times than what is probably normal. “right, that makes more sense.”

“buck?” eddie asks. “are you—”

“fine!” buck says, forcing a grin. “i’m fine. everything is fine. tell me about your date! where did you meet them?”

“on, uh—” eddie starts, then grimaces. “don’t laugh at me, but—on hinge.”

“why would i laugh at that?” buck asks. “as far as the apps go, hinge is a solid one.”

“yeah, but—i don’t know,” eddie says, perching on the arm rest of the sofa with a sigh. “i just kind of had this vision of meeting someone the old-fashioned way.”

“they swoon into your arms on a call?” buck asks, and eddie huffs and tosses a throw pillow at his head.

“no, i just mean—organically, you know?” eddie looks at him then, the briefest glance that buck only catches because he’s already looking at eddie. “i’ve just—always liked the idea of meeting someone, getting to know them, and then realising that it’s not just friendship. that you want something more.”

the faraway feeling is back, a prickling on his skin and a rushing in his ears. “eddie—” buck starts, then trails off, unsure how to continue. he doesn’t know what to do, what to say. he barely knows how to feel, how to reconcile the things eddie’s words are making him want with the fact that eddie is his best friend. that he’s never thought about eddie like that.

“yeah?” eddie asks. he looks at buck almost expectantly, in a way that makes buck want to tell him everything he wants to hear. but he’s not sure what that is, and—

the doorbell rings.

“i, uh—nothing,” buck says, swallowing past the half-formed words stuck in his throat. “have a nice date.”

✨platonic bestie behaviour✨ prompts

#hatamighijyab #911fic #buddie fic #ask emma #emma writes

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paperlovesadness · 10 months

Text

I saw the Arctic Monkeys live... Almost two weeks ago now (crazy) and it did in fact take me this long to recover enough to write this. So here's some thoughts:

❄️🧊🐒🐒🐒🐒🧊❄️

Well first of all - context - it was a festival. And really not only was it a festival - it was my first festival. And not only was it my first festival - it was really my first live show of a band I cared for and listened to and specifically came to see. (I'm not a babeh nor a babby - I just listen to a lot of dead & retired musicians and AM was my first chance at a live gig that I really wanted to see). So this was like... Super special of an experience to me.

more context: I stood... Many many hours in the spot I secured almost as soon as I walked onto the festival grounds. And therefore saw them from second row. Up close. And... I'd do it again in a heartbeat (but it definitely isn't for everyone and please don't take this as advice and listen to what you yourself know about your body's limits).

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

✨Thoughts & feelings & observations✨ :

I've been fully validated in my love for TBHC & The Car.

I can now confidently say that I adore them as albums and also that they are show stealers to me personally in their live versions. They absolutely hold up live.

Listen - yes - the heavier more traditional rock albums full-on destroy live - and I definitely would've cried if I didn't get to hear the classics at my show. I jumped and screamed the lyrics and danced and played out the lyrics. But the songs I got from TBHC and TC? They HIT the most, emotionally.

Maybe it's because both of these albums are in my top 3 of the Monkeys albums in general - or maybe it's because Alex just resonates with them more currently therefore being able to emotionally invest more into them and then that coming across and affecting me. I don't know. I think it's both. And when Sculptures came around... PHEW

Which brings me to: Sculptures like absolutely destroyed me the most of the whole setlist -and I definitely wasn't expecting it.

It's not even my favorite song on The Car (though of course it is up there. And it also was the biggest WOW SHOCK for me on my first album listen). But something about his voice during that song. The emotions. The instrumentals. And the echo they had over all of it... Jeez, it was all just very intense.

Four out of Five.

Not a complete fan of the new arrangement... Because I worship TBHC in it's original form - but even so - that song still slaps in any form. And you best believe I was out there screaming all the verses like there's no tomorrow. It hurt my teeny tiny heart that this is now the lone setlist survivor off TBHC. But that just made me clutch it even harder and fully give myself to the moment. (TBHC we will avenge you!)

I think I just straight up dissociated at Do I Wanna Know.

Maybe I'm a basic bitch of a fan - but I WORSHIP that song and riff - and It was just such a symbol for me of getting to see them live. I imagined the moment he enters with his beautiful 12-string vox SO many times. And when the time came I just sort of... I didn't know what to do with myself. I sang along and tried focusing and registering it all - but it was too much; too much pressure on myself too - so my mind just seemingly floated away.

Generally the whole thing was such a hugely important event for me that I had trouble registering it as real and felt a bit "mind-floaty" through it all - but that memory is just THE BLURRIEST of them all. So you can say it's an intense experience witnessing that classic live 😂

Witnessing the whole process live made me realize just how exhausted the whole gang must be.

The night before I - of course - scoured all social media for info about their arrival and set up - and so I saw all the little info about them flying in, their bus and their equipment truck arriving, all that. Then I got a report from how the soundcheck went around noon. And since I stood 7 hours in my secured spot I also saw the entire setup process with so many roadies running around. Allll that contex kind of... Gave me a good feel for the time that goes into this. Time and work and travel - all of that for a 1,5 hour live show - and then on they go to the next. Let's please appreciate artists and understand when they do seem a little off. Touring seems like an energetic nightmare (and especially for introverts).

Speaking of roadies... I wasn't building too many expectations stage design-wise. And the EFFORT surprised me so positively.

So basically - I knew Glasto had the mirroball and all the bells and whistles. But we weren't as important of a festival. So there was no way of knowing. I truly full on expected a bare stage. For months I'd watch clips of their other shows and think "ah. Too bad we don't get the mirroball moment". I came to terms with it months in advance - and then when someone posted a blurry photo of the mirroball showing up I was in shock. I love how much this whole team cares. It isn't a simple task driving all these props around and setting them up - the ball, the ring, the lights, the curtains in the themed Car color palette. I very much wouldn't blame them for having a "light" version for festivals in particular - when the roadies have like 30-45 minutes to set everything up right after the previous act ends. But no - there's a vision and they stick to it consequently and they don't differentiate between types of shows. No compromises - 100% of what they've got. It's honestly just beautiful to me.

Alex was... So mobile.

He fully pranced around that stage in his little heeled boots (!!!) doing his little gags and knocking over microphone stands with the cord of his guitar. He made sure to cover the whole stage and acknowledge all sides of the crowd - and come back and give us all attention a few times throughout the show. And I love him for it.

Alex is completely mesmerizing.

Okay - I say that as a person who's completely in love with his mind and talent (and... the packaging... ain't bad 👀) - so I get I'm not a very reliable source. But guys... That kid is magic (I say as if he's not 9 years older than me) (he's still babygirl though) He just is. He grabs your attention with his energy and doesn't let go until you've let him out of your sight (not of your own accord). Disappears behind that curtain.

I tried checking up on the other boys through the show - Nick managed to hide at an angle that kept him pretty invisible to me, unfortunately :c. Matt was killing it - and I loved noticing how Jamie just... Sways back and forth. But listen - even when I meant to look towards them more during the show - my brain just completely didn't allow it.

(And yeah. I get that's the role of the frontman. But... Guess the thing is he just does it so well. It didn't come naturally to him - as we know. It takes a lot out of him probably each time. But the energy is just there. And he could stand all night long and just sing and I'd still be mystified).

I already fangirled internally like crazy when I saw their guitars being set up and tuned.

And then during the show - I caught myself guessing what songs they were gonna play based on the guitars Alex was picking up. And just being weirdly proud of myself.

Also... The Epiphone Coronet looks so tiny live? I don't know. But it seemed that way - and isn't a tiny guitar for a tiny kitten just the cutest thing?

I missed my moment 😪.

Which really wasn't too big of a potential moment - but between songs people would shout titles of songs they want to play - and you know. It was usually AM or maybe FWN stuff. And during one of those moments I felt an overwhelming urge to shout "Perfect Sense". You know... To show that fans are indeed also excited about the actual album this tour is about. I ended up deciding against it - and literally like two seconds later Alex picks up his acouie and announces Perfect Sense. I sensed that. I could've had Alex Turner knowing I sensed that. But alas. I ended up just enjoying it in peace 🥲.

I won't take any interaction-themed slander.

I feel like people who are used to a lot of band interactions often speak ill of Alex and think he's an ungrateful frontman. Which - well first of all is bullshit because I don't believe artists need to be saying a word - it's the music you pay for. But secondly - he may not be saying much - but the energy he exudes and the sincere way he says things... Well it says it all. I feel like you have to be there to feel that energy and understand - but to me it was palpable that he was grateful for the enthusiasm, happy to perform and generally very emotionally invested in everything he was doing.

And then he thanked us and sent kisses our way multiple times too. And called us a beautiful audience (stop it Alexander! We're blushing!)

His shennanigans!

He seemed very happy to have a runway to get onto and use for his bowling shtick (I feel like he immediately got excited seeing that stage at soundcheck probably when he realized he could use it in that way).

There were no birds around to control - but there was the weather. So he did in fact ask the skies to "turn up that wind machine" as it started blowing and made him look like a vision during Sculptures (guys, truly. Sculptures live is insane. I'll repeat it forever). (🎶 Those words don't mean a thing where I come from, but I'll sing them forever 🎶) (I'm sorry, I had to).

All the little over-the-top faces he makes to enact the lyrics are a bit too adorable and almost made my heart burst.

Like... The "wah wah" crying one at "I feel the tears are coming on"? What a geek.

(but then also... Who hurt you 👀 it definitely makes Body Paint seem even more bitter and like it's a jab at someone).

And then - if you've made it here - one last thing I'll share with you - a very important screenshot of my notes app where I quickly started scribbling my fleeting thoughts in the days following the show:

And I think that's the best way to sum up what one feels seeing the Man the Legend the Genius the Poet Alexander Turner in the flesh for the very first time.

#A BIG POST #Because - as some of you know - I can't really write small amounts of text #it's all or nothing baby #but I wanted to throw it out there - cause I personally love reading all of these post-gig posts #Thoughts thrown into the tumblr void!#//#my posts #AM gig #Arctic Monkeys #blog stuff

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kevotsuka · 5 months

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I need to hear your detailed thoughts on pregnant bezz lol. It's clear it's going to be like a single dad situation bc he has no clue who the dad is. He's a Lil nervous but the academy is very nice about it. Pecco just wordlessly starts accompanying him to every doctor's appointment. Luca is making sure he gets his prenatal vitamins on time and resting his feet and cele is a little distant at first which makes bezz feel a little sad and he doesn't know what to do about it and Luca comes over to cele and tells him to not hurt bezz when he's expecting and cele feels soo guilty he would never do anything to hurt bezz or the baby but he feels insane about the whole situation and also is a little bit obsessed with bezz and his teeny growing bump anyway they make up and cele never leaves his side like they sleep together and he rubs Bezz's feet and let's Bezz hug his cold post shower body because he's burning up due to the baby. Just my silly thoughts I want your preg bezz thoughtsssssssssss

Anon you're sooo smart because all what you say IS TRUE. Cele is so weird about preg!bezz and luca need to talk with him “how you can make our pregbez being sad?” Jail for celin. Personally I am more into bez/pecco for this AU, but bezz has a harem who cares about him and his lil babybug :)

SO THANKS for waiting for my little silly thoughts about preg!bezz, he’s very important to me lmao.

I'm writing a fic (in spanish) about this snip, i don't think i wanna post it, but preg bezz is a 9k gdocs and tried to kill me

A thing about Bezz is how PRIVATE he wants to be (he fails). Like, he tried to separate his work and his personal life.

So in my timeline bezz was pregnant in Aus, and at first he had a very asymptomatic preg. Maybe he confuses the symptoms with the consequences of his broken collarbone, idk.

anyways, he don't ride out of weekend, don’t go to the ranch, barely training and lives stressed, sad and high in FEELINGS

It's not until before Valencia (Friday maybe) that he realize “oh, I might be pregnant” and then he DON'T CARE because it's the end of the season and all he want to do is go take a nap with his dog. He will deal with the bug when the tests are over.

He rides on Saturday and he doesn't do too bad but he hates himself because he could be better, but it is Sunday when he FALLS because Marquez HIT HIM and he realizes that with that blow he could have lost the bug and suddenly it is unacceptable. He drinks beers on an empty stomach, goes to yell at Marc at his truck, drinks some more, goes to SKY and says “Did you know Marquez hit US?” to anyone who wants to listen to him (people think he's talking about him and Martín, so they don't pay much attention to him)

He goes, picks up his prize completely done and thinking about his bug and how maybe he lost it because of Marquez and cries a little because of the alcohol and hormones, but do you remember that he is a private person? DON'T TELL ANYONE. Not his family who is there for him. Not even Valentino.

pass the valence tests (and Bezz is irresponsible and gets back on the motorcycle) and is wednesday and Marco is at home, with his dog and looking for the number of a former schoolmate who he is sure became a gynecologist and deal with his bug that he may have lost (and he touches his belly and silently begins to pray to a god he hasn't believed in a long time).

the bug is okay :) But beez need to stop riding rn, avoid the levels of stress that he have subjected his body and mind to in recent weeks. That is if he want to take the baby to term, if not there is also an abortion clinic quite close there.

THEN he have the dilemma of “have the baby or continue your life as if nothing had happened?” And the answer is that he will have that baby because he is a selfish man who feels lonely.

THEN, only after the first visit to the gynecologist post valencia test he calls Valentino and says “haha boss sorry I need to terminate my contract due to health problems :(“ and “don't you need a sexy pregnant secretary? I really can't stay without a work rn”

Valentino just lost TWO drivers in less than a month and is, of course, mad as shit, but he's also a father and tells Marco (once he hears that apparently he's going to be GRANDPA because bez is also his son) that it's okay, the academy will help you and support you in everything etc etc if you decide to return.

Marco doesn't want to tell to the boys of the academy. Like, not at all. He prefers to go hide in the hills before telling his friends that he chose to be a 'father' instead of chasing everyone's dream and becoming a motogp world champion etc etc

So he doesn't tell them anything (yet, he will eventually).

It is made public that he will leave the category to focus on his health and this is how the boys at the academy find out that Marco will not compete in the following season. and Bezz practically vanished from the face of the earth.

It is not until January, on Pecco's birthday, that he asks to meet when Bezz sends him a message to congratulate him.

Bezz says “Well, meet me at the hospital” and Pecco is clearly panicking and running to the address Bezz gave him.

Then he sees Bezz in the parking lot, beaming and wearing those horrible oversized clothes that he likes so much and he can finally breathe easy. He tries to ask Marco how he's been and why he disappeared, but Bezz asks him about the academy, about his family, about Pecco's grandmother?? as they walk through the hospital, towards the maternity section and Pecco begins to suspect

Then they arrive at reception, the secretary tells them that they are on time and Pecco is panicking while Marco drags him to the gynecologist, who only raises an eyebrow when she sees the MotoGP world champion there but greets him easily.

Then it's a haze for Pecco, Bezz talks about the changes in his body and the gynecologist tells Marco that they are normal things, that he has been very good and that his baby, whom Bezz insists on calling bug, has no health problems visible and developing very well for being 15 weeks old. She then turns to Pecco and asks him to remind Marco to take his supplements because he tends to get very forgetful sometimes and that he is glad to finally meet the father. And have him sign some documents that he has overdue :)

Pecco comes out with ink stains on his hands, lots of questions, and a strip of ultrasounds while Marco laughs at him and his expression. Then bezz explains that he needed a companion who can come sign the papers. That does not link Pecco to the child, only to Marco in case his family cannot come look for him in an emergency related to his baby.

Pecco: what.

#motogp rpf #beznaia #preg! bez #Sorry if this dont have sense i just wake up and my english doesn't work well at these hours #alexa play sorry for my english by in2it

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wordstrings · 2 years

Text

Loopy 5

A story of fluff and kink discovery. The third date. Word count: 5,100

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

(or read it on AO3)

—

Dean opens the shelter’s front door and enters chaos.

There are shouts. There are crashes. The display of collars and treat packs in the corner of the lobby is on its side with its products strewn across the floor like shattered glass. Footsteps are pounding away down the hall on his left. In front of him, Charlie is behind the service counter, standing precariously on the unstable seat of a swiveling office chair and squeaking down at her feet in dismay.

“What–” is all Dean gets out before a thunderous shout of “YOU FUCKER!” echoes out from the distant looper area, followed by a slamming door.

“Jailbreak!” Charlie chirps as she looks wildly about the floor below her. “One of the newer residents used to be a service looper and nobody told us. She opened her own crate and staged an uprising. Cas is–”

Another roar of frustration cuts through the halls. Some rooms away, something clatters.

“–is the only one who can wrangle them. I just go to a puddle if something tickles, and… no, get away, get out of here, you little monster!”

She grabs the pen behind her ear and hurls it at the floor somewhere behind the counter. There’s a scrabbling sound off to her right. Charlie yelps and grabs onto the chair’s backrest to keep from falling off, then starts scooting her weight atop the chair to make it roll a few inches in the opposite direction.

Never one to leave a lesbian in distress, Dean leans his palms on the counter and levers himself up a few inches to look down on the other side.

“Where is it?”

Charlie points toward the wastebasket. A slim black collar that looks like it belongs on a chihuahua is shuffling around in the empty space a few inches from the floor.

Dean vaults the counter and makes a grab for it. It evades; he swipes; it makes a break for the door; he dives after it.

“Gotcha.”

The invisible handful of wiggly looper grabs back at him, twining frantic tentacles around his wrist, his arm. Dean stands carefully and coos some soothing noises. A few soft strokes help the looper calm until its tentacles stop their grabbing and begin sliding gently between his fingers instead.

“Uh. What should I do with it?” he asks.

Charlie points out past the lobby as she climbs carefully down off the wobbly chair. “The crates in the looper room have numbers above each door. There should be a tag on that little guy’s collar that matches. If you think you can help Cas at all after putting that one back, just follow the yelling.”

Dean nods. “Will do.”

He tucks the looper into the crook of his arm like a football and begins picking his way out into the destruction. A tentacle or two rubs curiously at his elbow, but the poor thing is too stressed to do much more than that. He keeps petting it until they’ve reached the looper room. Locating the right crate is quick work, and once it’s secure with the wayward looper inside, he pauses to take in the rest of the room.

A good number of crates are still locked shut, but there are about a dozen vacant with doors hanging open. Dean hopes none of them were litters still being kept together. The staff will be hunting down teeny invisible looper pups for weeks if that’s the case.

A door opens somewhere out in the hallway. Dean steps out to see if he can help– and promptly gets hit by a truck.

A wide pink collar and trailing leash gallops away down the hall, leaving him flat on his ass and blinking spots from his eyes.

“I’m going to fucking– oh my god, Dean.”

Today is suddenly a million times better, because Cas is here. And touching him. Dean still feels a bit disoriented, but he manages to grin at his boyfriend.

(That term, applied to Cas, still makes him light up inside. He thought he’d gotten over the giddy bits, but it’s not like he’s required to tell anybody that, so who cares if it makes him feel a bit like a teen again. Boyfriend!)

“Are you alright? I’m so sorry, she’s an asshole–!” Cas calls accusingly down the hallway.

“I’m good, I’m good,” Dean insists, but accepts Cas’ hand in getting up. “Tell me how I can help.”

—

Nothing ever goes smoothly when Dean is around, Cas thinks. Not that it’s Dean’s fault – more like the universe has it out for Cas whenever Dean is present, always keeping him humble with a slip-up or complication out of his control.

Cas likes control. If there is a god, Cas decides they hate each other.

Even with Dean’s help, it’s an exhausting round-up getting the loose loopers wrangled. By the end of it, Cas has almost forgotten the whole reason Dean’s here in the first place: picking him up for their third date.

He feels grimy and tired. Humble.

Dean is nothing but gracious, offering small soothing touches and opening doors so Cas doesn’t have to. It’s a mercy that their plans involve takeout and a movie at Dean’s place. Cas would be a terrible date tonight if anything more socially strenuous were required of him.

—

There’s a lot to learn about a person when observing their living space.

Cas already knows Dean wears leather jackets and drives a muscle car, so the classic masculinity of his apartment is no surprise. The cleanliness, though, is unexpected. Not to say that there isn’t some clutter; the mail slot on the wall is packed with cockeyed junk mail, a corner of the coffee table holds short stacks of magazines, some piece of electronic equipment is laid open like a surgery patient on one end of the dining table. But there are no dirty dishes stacked in the sink, no haphazard piles of clothing on the floor. Dean keeps his space in order, making Cas feel like a comfortable guest rather than a surprise intruder.

The movie collection is, as promised, epic. Cas has visited his share of theaters for new releases, but he’s typically more of a channel-surfer in his entertainment choices. Dean, though, is clearly a movie buff, and the triple-wide bookcase that owns the space beneath the wall-mounted TV is lined with disc cases. They’re meticulously arranged in alphabetical order, with a tasteful selection of pop figures acting as occasional bookends. Framed posters of Indiana Jones and Han Solo look down on everything in approval.

Dean has a faint look of pride as he watches Cas take it all in.

“So what can I interest you in?” he asks, gesturing grandly. “Action, sci-fi, western, fantasy?”

The choices are somewhat overwhelming. Cas’ eyes skim the shelves, unsure where to even begin. He must look out of his depth, because Dean claps his shoulder and softens the demand with,

“Tell you what. I’ll grab us some drinks and takeout menus while you think about it.” He turns and heads into the kitchen. “Soda, beer, iced tea?”

“Water is fine,” Cas answers distractedly.

“Seriously?”

Cas rolls his eyes and continues scanning the choices. Sue him for trying to avoid excess sugar at night. He doesn’t even know most of these titles, and reading them over and over isn’t really helping him choose. “Yes, seriously.”

“The hell’s wrong with you. Water,” Dean scoffs amid the clinking of glassware.

At some point, Cas will figure out how to respond with wit to Dean’s teasing, instead of just having intrusive flashes of the man whining beneath him.

He’s still squinting at the rows of movies when Dean plops a glass on the end table behind him.

“One boring-ass water as requested. See anything you like?”

Cas pointedly turns his head to eye Dean up and down. It feels forward, but he thinks he’s allowed, now that they’re something official. Plus, the way Dean is comfortable in his own space is different from the ease he displays elsewhere out in the world. His posture melts into something a little more fluid and he moves with less direct purpose. He’s nice to look at all the time, but in here there’s an openness that’s very attractive – and makes Cas itch to swoop his way in.

Cas finishes his once-over and hums noncommittally.

Dean plays at being offended and makes to cover his chest in modesty. He grabs up a remote to turn on the TV.

“If you’re gonna be picky, we could play a video game instead, but I need you to tell me right now if you don’t like my taste in movies. Because then I’d have to kick you out.”

Cas eyes him. He’s never been one to rise when baited, but for some reason, it’s difficult not to respond when Dean is the one baiting him.

“You could try,” he says – as though he’d have any hope of not getting his ass kicked if Dean really put his mind to it. The guy’s arms are unfair; Cas has never really stopped calling him “lumberjack” in his head. He looks back at the shelf and continues, “But I’ve never actually seen any of these, so I can’t say for sure whether your taste is any good.”

“What? Okay, maybe I do need to kick you out. But only after, uh…” Dean steps up behind his shoulder to look closer. “A New Hope, or maybe Karate Kid. Unless you’re more of a Princess Bride guy.”

“I… don’t know what ‘kind of guy’ I am.”

“Sounds like a personal problem.”

There’s that low, teasing tone that always makes Cas’ spine tingle. The heat at his back presses in as Dean’s arm reaches over his shoulder to pluck a DVD from the shelf.

“Karate Kid it is. Let your education commence,” Dean says.

“Maybe after you point me to your restroom? Otherwise I’ll need a hall pass after act one.”

“Sure, just there to the left. We can talk food when you get back.”

—

As he exits the bathroom, Cas tips his head to one side, trying to relieve the lingering tightness in his neck. Further, further… crack-k-k. He groans with the release.

Dean frowns from the couch and sets down a handful of takeout menus. “You okay?”

Cas rolls his shoulders. “I spent over an hour chasing down troublemakers with tentacles, after cleaning out dog kennels all day. I’m alright, just sore.”

“Want me to work that out for you?” Dean pivots sideways on the couch and pats the space in front of him. “C’mere.”

“I didn’t know you were a chiropractor as well as a mechanic,” Cas says. It’s an invitation he can’t refuse, though, so he sits.

Dean slides in close and arranges his knees around Cas’ hips. “Ha. Years of wrestling with rusty bolts on a daily basis means my grip strength is pretty good. Let me know if anything hurts, ‘kay?”

“Okay.”

Dean’s hands are confident from the first touch. He strokes flat palms down and up Cas’ back, out and in along the angle of his shoulders, then starts pressing in with strong thumbs. Cas grunts pleasantly, until both of Dean’s hands direct a slow, rolling squeeze into the muscle on either side of Cas’ nape, which is just divine.

“Oh, there… that… that’s…”

Cas’ eyelids flutter and the rest of his sentence floats away from him. His body shuts down, like somebody’s walking through his veins and flicking off every light switch along the way. The only lights that stay on are along his nape, glowing with low-burning firelight that invites cozying up and staying a while. His boyfriend’s fingers are pressing unfiltered pleasure deep into his flesh. It’s rich, resonant, and just so... good. He’s had some great sex, sure, but those touches have always served to gear him up, not power him down. Nobody has touched him like this before. This… this is pure indulgence, and he is helpless beneath its sway.

Cas whimpers when Dean pushes firm, raking fingers up the sides of his neck and into his hair. They scratch, and drag, and press together to tug just so on the hairs caught in between the knuckles, and Cas finds himself making sounds he’s only ever made with his head pressing back into a pillow.

“You sure know how to make a guy feel appreciated, Cas,” Dean says, voice low and smiling.

“This is…” Cas breaks off with another weak noise. “O-oh…”

“Jesus.”

Cas tries to open his eyes. It only partially works, the room a soft blur beyond his lashes. “Hm?”

Dean’s hands continue to work his neck, the curve at the base of his skull, the tender skin behind his ears. “Nothin’, just… wasn’t quite expecting to learn your bedroom sounds tonight.”

“Mmm,” Cas manages in response. “You are… very good at this.”

Dean chuckles. “You’re gonna love finding out what other things I’m good at.”

“Ahh… mm. Me, too.”

“‘You too’ what?”

Cas purrs as Dean’s thumbs roll along his vertebrae. “You’ll love what I can do to you, too.”

Dean’s hands falter. “Y’know, Cas, I’m trying to be a gentleman, here. But the things that come out of your mouth…”

Cas hums a laugh. If they end up getting distracted and don’t make it to the movie part of the evening, he can’t say he’ll be disappointed.

With a huff that might be amusement, or exasperation, or possibly both, Dean continues massaging the length of his trapezius muscle, from his shoulder up his neck and back again. The heavier touches are interspersed with gentle, clawed scratches on his skin that encourage Cas’ head to roll forward in surrender to gravity. The further forward he goes, the softer the scratches gradually become. They feel heavenly.

A fingertip skates up through his hair behind his ear and the back of Cas’ skull fizzles. A helpless shudder fires down his spine.

“Oh, did I find your tingle spot?” Dean asks with a smile in his voice.

“My wh–aah,” Cas wheezes as Dean scritches there again, too-light and too-wonderful. His shoulders snap up with a violent shiver. Holy hell, nothing has ever felt like that before and his body can’t decide if it’s unbearable or too decadent for words.

“Your tingle spot,” Dean says. “Makes your whole head vibrate and feels freakin’ amazing. It’s kinda fickle though; doesn’t always work the same way all the time. Probably for the best… If I knew the secret formula, I’d go broke shooting up with it and using one of those wire head massagers ‘til I wasted away like a rat with an orgasm button.”

Barely half of that makes sense but Cas can’t process any more because Dean’s fingers are magic and his nervous system is lighting off a continuous finale of fireworks that is absolutely incapacitating. Every inch of skin prickles with goosebumps. He’s vaguely aware that he’s holding himself, hunched over his own lap, in danger of shaking apart like a shuttle re-entry gone wrong.

“Oh my god,” Cas chokes out. “Dea– hhhuuuh…”

Dean spider-scribbles that spot through his short hair with three fingertips, and it’s too much but Cas couldn’t possibly put a stop to it even as he shiver-trembles to bits. Orgasm button, indeed.

He’s suddenly gripped by a raw desire to hold Dean down and exploit his tingle spot while Dean gasps and shudders beneath him.

“Dean,” Cas keens, scrabbling a hand up behind his neck to take Dean’s wrist and–

“Alright, sorry,” Dean laughs and, in a tragic misinterpretation, stops and rubs him soothingly instead. “We’ll get back to the relaxing parts.”

Tragedy on top of tragedy, the contrast feels so nice that Cas can only sigh. Flipping Dean down onto his belly will have to wait.

There are fingernails scraping deliciously along Cas’ neck again, up into his hair and back down, in and out along the tops of his shoulders, resolving into deep rubs that press out the lingering tension like squeezing out a sponge.

“Mff. I’d sleep so much better if this happened every night,” Cas mumbles.

Knuckles drag firm lines down his spine, all the way to the low lumbar where they dig circles of just-right pressure. Dean makes a considering sound.

“I certainly wouldn’t mind doing this more often,” he says.

“…Yeah?” Cas says eloquently.

“Yeah.” One of Dean’s fingers nudges questioningly under the hem of Cas’ shirt. “Would, uh… would underneath be okay?”

Cas catches a breath. “Please.”

Dean's hands slip beneath his shirt and Cas melts.

A butterfly formation of ten warm fingertips drags along the naked skin of his lower back. Cas’ breath purrs its way out of his throat as the touch divides out to his flanks and rejoins toward his spine. Once again, the way Dean touches him is foreign – and gloriously so. These aren’t hard scratches or directing pulls. They inspire goosebumps up his sides and flutters from his eyelids. Dean explores his back slowly, drifting in long sweeps and gentle arcs. Cas can’t seem to stop humming with every exhale.

And Dean wants to do this more? Cas will pack a suitcase tomorrow and live on Dean’s couch indefinitely, becoming one with the cushions over months and years, so long as he gets that more.

Fingers skim along his shoulder blade and Cas’ hum leaps an octave.

His top half has jolted forward, shoulders folding back as if to protect themselves, and he didn’t consciously do any of it. A vague afterimage of some sharp-bladed sensation lingers where Dean touched.

What the hell was that?

“Whoa,” Dean says, startled, then, “Wait.”

One of his arms hooks around Cas’ stomach. The other hand skitters curiously across his shoulder blade again.

Cas’ torso revolts. A high, panicked sound bolts out of him as his spine tries to emergency exit through his chest. But Dean’s arm clamps tight, holding him in place.

“Oh my god,” Dean exclaims, “did I find a tickle spot?”

Hell if Cas knows, but holy shit, that’s so much more than the tingle spot. Dean’s fingers scribble eagerly and Cas abruptly loses all rational control of his body. He squirms and yelps like a madman, elbows flinging backward, back arching. Dean laughs excitedly, and before Cas knows it, he’s laughing too, helplessly full and loud as his limbic system pulls the trigger on fight-or-flight like a machine gun but Cas isn’t succeeding at either. If the tingle spot was fireworks, this is a lightning storm, miles wide and high and striking him through like the violent force of nature it is. Oh god, it– it tickles!

Dean’s trying to keep him caught, losing the battle with one arm versus Cas’ two, but he manages to fold a leg over Cas’ lap. He’s trying to bring up the other, too, and Cas’ instincts go feral to keep it from locking around him and sealing his fate. He torques and twists, grabbing at Dean’s arms, half-hysterical with laughter and desperation. They wrestle wildly as Cas twists himself around, needing to block Dean’s hands from his back. He shoves and snatches at Dean’s wrists, gets purchase on one, flails defensively at the other. They’re facing each other now, Cas up on his knees and kicking his leg over Dean’s so it can’t hook him from behind.

Now this is exhilarating: fighting Dean down while they both sputter and laugh. Dean is fantastically strong, and maybe if Cas hadn’t gotten turned around so quickly this would be heading for a different outcome. But he’s hopped up on adrenaline, and Dean is laughing too much to really strategize, so Cas is coming out on top (metaphorically and literally) as the tussle progresses.

And, of course, what better way to turn the tables than to start tickling Dean in retaliation?

The first tweak at his side makes Dean shout with laughter and fall back into the cushions. Cas launches a full assault, then, scribbling furiously at his ribs and belly and armpits while Dean swats back at him and tries to block too many spots at once.

“Help!” Dean cries, giggling all the while. “I’m being attacked! No, no, fuck! No, wait, you’re actually ticklish, you gotta let me– ahah!”

Cas is going to let him do nothing. His blood is pumping now, and having Dean thrashing and shrieking beneath him is the most intense hit of euphoria he’s ever had in his life. He crams his hands into every crevice Dean tries to defend until Dean’s just got his arms locked over his chest as he wails with laughter. His legs kick a pillow to the floor while he throws his head back, cackling with eyes squeezed tightly shut. Cas crab-claws ruthlessly down his side, and suddenly Dean’s thigh is slamming repeatedly into Cas’ ass and Dean is jackknifing up at him.

“Shit, no!” Dean frantically tries folding in half to make a squashed Cas sandwich. He scrabbles for Cas’ hand with fresh desperation. “Fuck you, fuck you, fffahaha!”

Down by his hip is evidently a weak spot. Cas grins ferociously.

He rolls his upper body to one side and reaches around behind Dean to grab Dean’s opposite shoulder. In a heave of motion, he throws himself back to center and bodily whips Dean facedown on the couch. A quick scoot backwards onto Dean’s thighs, and he can plow both hands down under the sides of Dean’s hips to tickle him there mercilessly.

Dean screams into the upholstery. His arms ram down to grapple with Cas’ hands. Cas shoots up to his ribs to throw off the counterattack, then bounces right back down again. Clawing into the joint at the top of Dean’s thigh makes him buck; kneading the pelvic bone makes him roar so desperately that Cas is sure he’s trying to hulk out. Cas rides every kick and spasm as Dean bows up and crashes down and laughs himself hoarse.

And all of that is from tickling through layers of cloth and denim. Cas wishes he could blink Dean nude. But barring that, he can at least ruck up the back of Dean’s shirt and burrow beneath it, which he does.

Dean gasps, chokes, “Worse! Worse, that’s so much worse, oh-ho-ho my god!”

The feel of his skin beneath Cas’ hands is rapturous. Cas tries spidering lighter strokes in the areas that aren’t jammed against couch or elbow. They don’t make Dean thrash as hard, but his laughter ratchets up the scale until he’s giggling madly, which is no lesser an aphrodisiac.

Cas tickles him, and tickles him, and tickles him, tearing more shreds of his strength away as the minutes tick on. He tries every spot he can reach, even up between Dean’s shoulders to see if that works on him, but nothing compares to how Dean loses his mind when his hips are tickled. So Cas always comes back to them, pinching and kneading and scribbling. The generous front pockets of Dean’s jeans offer plenty of room for wicked wiggling fingers, allowing Cas to find what new noises of mirthful anguish Dean is capable of making.

Soon, Dean is nothing but a weakly writhing mess, wheezing and sniggering with one hand pawing feebly at Cas’ wrist and the other fisted up by his head, too tired to pound the cushions any longer. The side of Dean’s face not pressed into the couch is streaked with damp lines and the heated flush of exertion. His eyebrows are knit up in overwhelm, his eyes scrunched and wet, his weary tortured grin glowing handsomely beneath laugh-tired cheeks.

Not even the loopers have managed to wring Dean out so thoroughly. He’s the most gorgeous fucking thing Cas has ever seen.

The draw is irresistible; Cas plants a hand on the cushion and bows down to hungrily kiss the side of his mouth.

Dean makes another spent noise before catching up and flimsily trying to return the kiss in confusion.

“Are… are you done?” he pants.

His mouth, however tired, is still enchanting and Cas continues chasing it for dopey kisses. “Mm-hmm.”

Dean whines out a sound of utter relief and goes boneless.

“Holy fuck,” he mumbles.

Cas nuzzles his cheek, kissing up the angle of his jaw. He spreads his knees to let his weight drop and settle across Dean’s back. His arms curl up around Dean’s shoulders to rub gently with his thumbs as he noses his way into the hot, inviting crook of Dean’s neck. More kisses are due, there on his neck and up on his ear and down on his shoulder.

Cas lavishes affection on him, because he’s so very good, so beautiful, so amazing in taking everything without begging Cas to stop.

Not even once. Cas noticed.

Being splayed in full-body contact over Dean’s broad back is a cuddle for the ages, especially as the buzz dissipates and the day’s fatigue sets in. Cas nuzzles in below his boyfriend’s ear and closes his eyes with a sigh. The urge is there to nibble something sensitive until Dean crumbles into giggles again, but Cas knows he’s earned some rest.

Dean folds up one arm to grasp clumsily at Cas’ hand curled on his shoulder and sags with a sigh of his own.

—

Dean jerks awake. He can’t breathe. He’s being crushed by a bus, his ribs are cracking, there’s no air–

“Cas,” he gasps, flailing a hand back over his shoulder. “Cas, you gotta get off me, I’m dying…”

There’s a startled snuffle behind his neck. “Mm?”

“Can’t breathe,” he croaks. Which isn’t completely accurate, the more his body comes awake; it’s just strained and uncomfortable with a full-grown man sprawled on top of him. “Gotta get up.”

Cas grunts and wriggles toward the couch back, sliding over the curve of Dean’s side and nestling on top of his arm instead. Circulation is a lower priority than oxygen so it’s fine for the moment.

“We fell asleep,” Dean says, as if that weren’t obvious. He levers up on his elbow and rubs at his eyes with the heel of his hand. His tear ducts feel gluey. “What time is it?”

Cas wrinkles his nose with a sniffle. He almost clocks Dean in the head when he swings his wrist up to look at his watch.

“Um. Late.”

“Shit, we didn’t even eat. You’ve gotta be starving. Let me see what I’ve got in the pantry.”

He moves to sit up, but Cas grabs his shoulder to stop him.

“You know, technically,” Cas says, with his eyes drooping like he’d be happy to lay back and spend the whole night on this cramped, secondhand sofa, “we just slept together. Didn’t even make it to the dinner-and-a-movie part first.”

Dean shuts him up with a grinning kiss. Cas, the bastard, takes advantage, slipping down onto his back and hooking his arms behind Dean’s neck to pull him back down.

God, the way Cas kisses makes Dean weak. Cas had been kissing him earlier, but Dean could hardly have been called an active participant (because fuck, Cas had leveled him, and that’s more to come back to later); this is really the first time they’re making out while horizontal. And Cas is a full-body kisser, communicating with the entirety of himself in ways Dean isn’t even sure he could consciously pick out but are thrumming loud and clear. Cas might be flat on his back, but he’s definitely the one in charge. He is the ocean, and Dean is merely a boat riding the swells.

Dean thinks he might enjoy not being the one in charge.

But his stomach is gurgling.

“Hey, so,” he mumbles into Cas’ mouth. “One of those things I’m good at is cooking. It’s a little late for a three-course meal, but I could scramble us some eggs.”

Cas hums hungrily. He dips under Dean’s chin and l-l-licks a long line up his throat. All the air punches out of Dean’s chest as Cas murmurs, “That sounds delicious.”

Fuck, how is Dean ever supposed to get off this couch?

Looking back down at Cas is a mistake. Dean is immediately thrown back to their time in the trees last week, when Cas had looked ready to devour him. But this time, Cas’ expression is even more hooded, and he’s got his arms coiled like pythons around Dean’s neck, and Dean knows what it feels like to be helpless under him–

He actually whines when Cas slides a hand down to his chest and gives him an encouraging shove. Which he is not proud of, but the way it sharpens something in Cas’ eyes immediately takes away the embarrassment and hot-swaps it for something tingling.

“I prefer my eggs over-easy, actually,” Cas says. “For future reference.”

Dean will be lucky if he can remember where his own damn fridge is, let alone retain any other information right now. But he fumbles his way to standing, because whatever Cas wants, Dean is going to give. That’s just being a good host, he thinks, even as his neurons totter like newborn foals trying to figure out how the ground works. Cas is getting up to follow him, stretching his arms high towards the ceiling and arching his back, limber in a way that belies his muscled shoulders and thighs.

Shoulders. Right. That’s what started all this.

God, Dean needs to get hands on him again ASAP. Cas has been settling into that confidence of his the more time they spend together – which is hot as hell, actually – but cracking that in-control demeanor with a spike of laughter is mouth-watering. Dean wants to explore that crack like a careful archaeologist, dusting away the powdered rock to expose the precious thing hidden beneath.

He’ll make it happen. Somehow.

But first, he’s gotta cook some eggs without crumpling over when Cas benignly slides an arm around his waist, whether or not that cocked brow implies threat. He has to trust that Cas isn’t going to tickle him while he’s wielding a hot pan – though the path between the stove and the fridge appears to be fair game. Cas spends some time pacing alongside him, some time leaning against the counter, all the time watching him with eyes that are attentive and somewhat tender. It’s filling Dean back up, bit by bit, in the drained space inside where all his energy had been before takeout was forgotten. It feels good.

This kitchen has seen Dean dance, and sing, and maybe even cry once or twice. Now, he thinks it’ll see him laughing a lot more.

#series: Loopy #Loopy 'verse #stringswork #tickle fic #ticklish!Dean #Dean Winchester #Castiel #ticklish!cas #Supernatural #Destiel #AU #TFW adopts a monster #Loopy 5

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