#he always seemed to have a wall up. smile never faltering but never fully genuine either | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bbhyeoliskooks · 3 years

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«❝ 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ❞» - PT. TWO

Yeonjun was the one to break up with you, so why does he want you back now?

➸ check part one out here!

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Pairing: Yeonjun x Reader (female)

Genre: 335 cups of fluff and 3 cups of angst

Warnings: a bit suggestive maybe??? cursing, eating, cheesy cringe stuff hehe, ++ unedited so there may be a lot of mistakes !!

Song: I’ll Never Love This Way Again

(YUH OMG FINALLY I FINISHED THIS REQUEST IM SCREAMING OMG??? i’m so sorry that this took so long, i know a lot of people waited for it 😭😭 and for the anon who requested this bc there wasn’t a notif- keah accidentally deleted it 😭😭. ngl i would die for yeonjun in this. ANYWAY, i hope you enjoyyy~~ i rlly liked doing something like this and yes i have to mention the happiness it gave me at 1am when i finally finished it 😌💕)

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

As easy as it was to say compared to real life, Choi Yeonjun was a wreck. A horrible, horrible and you must’ve forget to say- horrible wreck! That is including the duration of time before and after the second time you left.

How he roused one morning to you no where in sight after a vicious night of going out was something he deeply regretted. He would do anything to go back to that day, of course. He wasn’t sure about how you were doing, but jeez did he want to see those bright glints in your eyes whenever you saw him again. To see you smiling like nothing was wrong or giggling when he finally made ticklish contact on those sensitive places or even how you’d frown before him due to his carelessness. His mind drew him back to the ungodly hour of 4am when you scolded him for the scar on his arm he didn’t seem to realize until later and the way you made sure nothing else on his body was hurt. Yeah anyone could tell that didn’t go very well considering he was a boy and you were a girl, but that wasn’t the point!

In simple terms, he missed you more than anyone he’s ever laid eyes upon and the plain truth was that. You weren’t easy to be shaken off his mind after that ordeal of getting you to himself for one, final night. It hurt him most to see the disgusted expression on your face as if you were staring straight at a pile of elephant poop on the ground, not wanting to do anything with it because it was useless and foul. He couldn’t possibly make it your fault too, which meant he shouldn’t have been surprised. Breaking your poor heart by insulting you and taking you for granted, everything was wrong with him for thinking this way!

Whether he liked it or not, his heart said differently about this matter.

Perhaps it was the way you looked that night- he could say- however, it was more than that. With your adoring, sparkling eyes that weren’t easy to miss and your stunning, contagious smile that caused ripples of happiness to fly across the room, he couldn’t blame anyone for falling in love with you. After all, he was a victim of it himself so there was no way he could’ve not in the end. All of those things were true especially, but taking in everything to account as well hanging out with you, your unique individual beauty meant nothing.

He just loved you for you. Loved? No, not loved. Loves. He still loves you for you, and he was a fool to realize it this late. He just lost the best thing in his life due to his stupidity; he knew fully well that you couldn’t ever bring yourself to talk to him face-to-face again if the two of you met again. Would you two even come to meet in the first place? That was the true question here. He and you both knew that due to your resistance and remorse for what happened last weekend that you would never permit yourself to see him. Like he said, he couldn’t blame you for that either.

And yet, why is he trying to convince himself that he’s the only one for you? Your every smile was originally because of him, but now... but now, you’d never let him hear that for one, last time. He couldn’t redo his mistakes of the past of hurting you even if he promised never to do that again. And judging this situation, destiny wouldn’t allow that to happen anyway. With all of your encounters, it seemed as if they all turned out the same way. Everything was ripped into shreds.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Wait, so you sLEPT WITH HIM?!” Soobin’s voice reached to a dangerous while the two of you paced around the hallways together, trying to quietly talk about last weekend until he so rudely screamed about your untrue administrations. You clasped your hand over his mouth in instinct, punching his shoulder as a warning to keep quiet or else. His body heaved with hearty chuckles while you screamed, telling him to keep his voice down so that you could truly tell him the whole story.

“Soobin! That’s not true; I wouldn’t do anything like that, ever!”

“Well, he’s your ex- and he’s hot, so why wouldn’t you sleep with him?!”

Now some of the students subtly shuffled around to eavesdrop on your conversation, and you groaned at the newfound attention. Just what were you thinking about telling him when sometimes he could contradict himself to be this loud?! It was steaming tea, yes, but no one else had to hear about it! You should’ve told him this stuff at lunch when the two of you were alone.

Swiftly pulling Soobin to the vacant hallway where thankfully no one else was walking, you made sure to keep your voice to a faint hush. You weren’t sure if he could hear you, but you couldn’t risk involving anyone else in this personal matter. Students passed by all around you in the other hallway, holding conversations and walking in groups which was a good sign you could actually speak normally since no one was paying attention anymore.

“So did you or did you not?” He mused, ruffling the top of your head. You pushed his hand away, rolling your eyes at his playfulness when the gravity of the situation needed to be comprehended instead.

“Soobin, I told you we never slept together in that sense last weekend. We were both drunk and shared the same bed! It doesn’t mean anything and we aren’t going to get back together,” you held your breath through those words as you watched the amused smile on his face turn into a pitiful, pouting lip. His adorable puppy dog eyes that were begging you not to get mad at him didn’t seem to work now, and you found yourself telling him off even if you didn’t mean to in the first place.

“You’re so stupid for thinking that, you know?! Yeonjun’s a jerk, I have no clue why I ever got with that bastard in the first place! God, if you never let us meet together then you know I would’ve been happy now. Just why did everything have to turn out this way?!”

The walls of your heart you tried so hard to buttress through your words and actions crumbled with every second you spoke, disintegrating into pure dust the moment your voice leveled to reach your anger. Your chest was trembling as you choked out the last few words, unable to say anything anymore as a lump appeared in your throat. You hated being weak in front of him the most because he’s seen you so many times like this before and he’d very clearly think of you as a crybaby.

He seemed to understand this, shooting you a gently smile as some small encouragement. It was that smile that urged you to snap out of your evil trance immediately. For saying all those rude things to him, it was contradictory since at that very moment you wanted to take everything back. The guilt ate you up in an instant once you took in his dumbfound yet soft expression, causing you to envelope him in a warm embrace as contrition. He never deserved this treatment when it wasn’t even his fault anyway.

“I... I’m sorry, Soobin. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. It’s just so hard on me now since I know I shouldn’t have done that with him last weekend. We didn’t do a lot, and yet I still want to say that I love him...? Even now I won’t allow myself to cry and be weak but,” your voice faltered as your body slightly shivered, “I can’t do it. I just can’t be strong anymore. It’s so hard.”

Soobin sighed, generously allowing you to lean on him like last time. You were so strong- you had always been so strong in front of him, and it hurt him to see that you were slowly breaking no matter how much you tried to stop it. He could see right through the so called smile you shot him this morning as soon as you saw him. He knew right then and there that something happened to you during the weekend and when he heard it was all about Yeonjun... he had to contain himself not to beat up his best friend or else the friendship he treasured dearly would crash, fall, and wouldn’t withstand.

However, the truth remained. Little by little, you were shattering due to Yeonjun’s actions and he could only watch helplessly as you flew freely to the ground. It was an understatement to say that he was starting to hate his best friend for doing this to you, but in the end he believed you. If you did it before, then you could do it again right? And you knew that Soobin was always right there for you no matter what.

Last month you gave it your all in order to move on. He truly admired that you kept running and running towards the future even if you felt that there was no end, a quality he secretly cherished of you. As a person, you were strong in your own way and Soobin was proud of you. He just didn’t know how to say it now without making the bright atmosphere droop. It was always like this whenever a problem with your relationship arose. He brought you closer to his arms.

“You’re not weak at all for crying, Y/N. I think you’ve been holding it for too long now. You’re always welcome to come to me, alright? I’ll save you from that stupid Yeonjun and make you happier than he ever has! You deserve someone much better. You and I both know this.”

He wiped your every tear which streamed against your cheek with his thumb gently, and somehow you finally smiled. Ardent, genuine, and sincere, your smile was enough to cause another one of his own towards you, a great deal of blinding happiness all around you. You were sure Soobin was waiting for this after a while, although it came out at a surprising time. You didn’t expect it either.

This was another feeling you couldn’t ever get enough of, for it reminded you of the time when Yeonjun asked you to be his... but comparing it to this wasn’t right at all.

No words were spoken between the two of you, but it really did mean a great deal of comfort to you. How could he offer up this ample amount of support towards you? You made a promise to yourself to make it up to him one day.

A few minutes later, you reluctantly pulled away from his sweet hug to check the time on your phone. You weren’t sure how long you’d been holding each other like this (and you really did enjoy it), but if you kept dawdling then you would miss every single afternoon class. Your eyes scanned through the upper numbers.

Crap. You already missed the first few minutes!

You scrambled to get yourself off him, pulling your bag over your shoulder in a haste. “Wait, I’ll tell you the details later!” You waved your hand for a flimsy goodbye, rushing to get every paper in your bags in check. It was a pathetic bye, that was for sure. You rushed out before Soobin could even mutter a bye, hoping to get there in good time so that you wouldn’t embarrass yourself in front of everyone. Oh, well. You’ll see him later.

Your footsteps faded away little by little and yet another set rippled through his ears through little clacks on the spotless floor. He wondered if you were coming back to ask him something but before he could turn around, sweet words that were due to a familiar tone made his heart stop in place.

“Please, take care of her for me.”

...

Upon hearing that voice Soobin halted in his tracks, looking back at a pair of warm, brown eyes that met his own. By the looks of it, he heard everything you said. Not to mention that it was the second time the boy eavesdropped at that.

“Soobin, please? You can date her even if it hurts but just please... if I can’t look after her, then who else’ll take her to her favorite restaurant?”

The pleas did not matter to him all the more, if he was being honest. This game was something he didn’t want to be involved in but looks like fate had its plans. It was obvious now. He hated this and although he said you deserved better, it was clear that the two of you were destined to be together.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

The door clamorously creaked as soon as you entered, making you cringe at the sudden but minimal heads that turned towards you. You shyly offered up a smile, reorganizing the books in your hands to pass off some of the attention somewhere else. Some of the people there were doing their own things and focused on talking to each other to an extent. You sighed gratefully. Thankfully you could sit alone at a spot where no one would notice you at the top of the row.

After you wondered where the rest of the students were and the professor whom you searched for in every direction, you gave up with a relieving drop of your shoulders and decided to sit down. Glancing at the time, you muttered how stupid you were under your breath for reading the clock wrong. You were fortunately five minutes earlier, but looks like you have to wait now until the lesson starts.

Getting situated in your spot was an easy thing and you toyed with your phone when you heard a shuffling of clothes sitting next to you on the right. It wasn’t such a good time to be socializing right now since you felt like crap but if you were going to make new friends, you might as well do so now. After all, college was supposed to be a good experience minus all the endless assignments and projects to prepare for your future.

You managed to steal a look at the person who sat right next to you but became paralyzed in your spot when you realized who it was, whipping your head where you wouldn’t be able to get distracted by him. That dazzling, blue hair was unmistakable. And the perfect, rosy lips were too! How could you not be tainted when he chose to sit next to you?! Seeing as the latter was impossible when you heard his deep voice murmur the words ‘good morning,’ a bead of sweat collected at your forehead. He was never this bold before after you broke up, and you pondered if he wanted to be good friends again after what happened. The audacity was unbelievable.

You couldn’t understand why he’d choose to be beside you when there were many more other open spots in the room. He must’ve been mocking you, making fun of you after how weak you looked a few days before.

The question was though, why the hell was he sitting right there?! Right next to you?! You could feel the words becoming stuck in your throat as you choked out a good morning back, too anxious to say anything or else it’d initiate a conversation between the two of you. That was the least thing you wanted to do as of now, wasting all your energy on the time spent convincing yourself he’d make up some small talk. That time however never came, and you were left politely smiling at the one and only Choi Yeonjun when you randomly found him staring at you.

The professor finally arrived, lifting off a heavy burden on your chest when you could’ve been dreading the lesson instead. You should’ve left before as to not create any conflict, but anymore absences and your future would’ve been as good as dead. Although you could look at the bright side now! Yeonjun wouldn’t be able to talk to you or else he’d miss some important things which would in turn affect his grades. You threw a grateful smile towards the center of the cavernous room, becoming a little bit relaxed even if some part of you was still freaking out he was that close to you.

The class was a blur, pointless information echoing throughout the room you didn’t care to learn since you were dozing off. Your mind was too busy looking back at the events that went down last weekend, becoming more tired with every second that passed. It was hard to get your brain off that addicting stuff called overthinking every single time you caught Yeonjun staring at you with tender, soft eyes. Simultaneously, you were hoping no one would call you out for daydreaming of what could’ve been, so you hid behind a tall person’s blonde head, hoping not to be caught.

Sadly, you were brought back to the room when a chorus of sighs collected together to make a violin whimper of disappointment.

“You will be working with the person beside you on the right,” the professor declared, clearing their throat while most of the class groaned altogether. Wait so that means...

In an instant, everything seemed way too overheated in the room now. Were you the only one feeling hot or what?! You knew fully what was supposed to come next since you were the only two sitting on the top, the rest of the bottom being filled out by tons of people who were tuning in to the lesson.

Sometimes life doesn’t work the way we want it to. That itself was obvious. Otherwise you’d be somewhere else being happy instead of working with this jerk!

You couldn’t help the frustration of curses you thought in your head, glaring at the boy who was giggling cutely to himself.

“Oh, looks like you’re paired up with me! I can’t wait to work with you, Y/N~” The tone of his voice made your heart skip a beat, the all too familiar teasing getting to your head. As you expected, whatever he said would have an effect on you, instantly making you heat up at how true that statement was.

Smiling, you gulped, feeling too parched all of a sudden. God only knows how much you wanted to get out of there right away. You were dying not to embarrass yourself, collecting your books together as you slathered a polite tone to your voice. Somehow you got the words out despite making clear eye contact with him way too long for your own good. It felt so wrong to say he was a masterpiece but it felt so right to keep looking at him like this.

“Where should we work?” Yeonjun asked once more.

He leaned closer to you, leaning on his hand as he maintained an direct, intent gaze. Your lips formed into a straight line, hopelessly wishing he wouldn’t see how much of a mess you were in front of him. Then he licked his lips. That was the end of you! He and you both knew that it was meant to be flirtatious. Your ears burned at the sight. Well that was enough to be looking at his eyes now! You foolishly turned away.

“Hmm, how about we meet at the bakery everyday at five? Are you okay with that?” Yeonjun suggested, raising an eyebrow to comprehend your unsure expression. You nodded your head acceptingly, albeit a bit defeated. He shouldn’t have been expecting anything. You were fine with whatever place you could meet up by, but didn’t he know that you weren’t fine working with him?!

After the quiet and easily awkward atmosphere, you turned on your heel getting up from the exhausting spot. It was much too uncomfortable for you to plan out a schedule with him, and second you weren’t able to catch the directions with him chatting it up a bunch.

Of course you wanted to be mature about the situation, but it was impossible for you. If it was another person, then you would’ve been fine. You could ask around but that itself was scary too. Your heart was in a tugging predicament with you in between, and you weren’t sure what to choose. Seems like Yeonjun was your only choice now. It would’ve helped you move on but with him right there, it would be harder to really think about yourself for once. You shot him one more look, hoping it would be the last.

“Yeonjun, don’t think you’re fooling me with this flirting. You know I can’t work with you after what you said. I’m sorry, but find someone else who’ll be open to being your partner.” You opted to get up from your seat, trying to dash away as quickly and quietly as possible until he said something that made you paralyzed as you got up.

“Y/N, please wait!”

Suddenly the world stopped and in it, you could only see the two of you with Yeonjun clinging gently to you.

He grabbed your arm before you could move to another seat, holding on tightly just to make you stay. You winced at how warm it was compared to your shaking arm, avoiding his vulnerable eyes due to embarrassment. You didn’t know how you were supposed to do this project anyway when you couldn’t even look at him in the first place.

“I know, and I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have done whatever we did while we were drunk and bothered you like that. Just... can you work with me this once? I want you to get a good grade with me.”

Gradually, his words became inaudible at the end, as if too ashamed to say it out loud. It was an understatement to say what he said was surprising. Therefore you couldn’t help but gasp at how vulnerable he got when you tried to move away from him when you thought he would’ve let you go after what happened. It was clearly too much for you to see his adorable puppy dog eyes, glistening and sparkling with sincerity when you safely decided to look back at him, feeling weak in the knees with uncertainty of what to say.

And although you wanted to say no so badly, you spoke without thinking and murmured something only he could hear.

“Okay then... Let’s do well.”

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Before you knew it, five pm rolled by and you were face-to-face at the bakery where Yeonjun was waiting for you. At this point, you were reluctant to go through with this since you could easily say you hadn’t found anyone to do the project with. But knowing that the teacher was stubborn and hardheaded when they made plans like these, it would be impossible to convince him to let you work alone. Plus, you actually got ready instead of throwing your favorite hoodie this time! You couldn’t let all your extra effort and special preparing to go to waste just because it was Yeonjun.

And gosh, you just had to remind yourself it was Yeonjun again.

The advances were simple. You had brought all your heavy books relating to the subject, hoping they’d be able to help but now all they seemed to do was weigh you down from getting the door. The wind was heartless, sending icy gusts through your clothes as you heaved out a sigh. It would’ve been good if you just left now instead. But this would only make matters worse. You swiped your phone again, purposely ignoring the contact name of ‘Stupid Mean Jerk Jjuniebug.’ He hadn’t texted you yet saying he was there so you hesitated a tiny bit before reaching for the golden door handle and eventually going inside.

The warm smell of cookies, cakes, and a variety of baked breads welcomed your nose, making the corners of your lips turn up with satisfaction. Out of all the distractions in the world, the Boulangerie was such a perfect place to go to do anything, really. If it wasn’t for your stupid project, you’d probably relax and enjoy a cup of your favorite drink paired with one of the delights they had here! It sounded like flawless idea. Happily, you made a mental memorandum in your head to plan out a day with Soobin where the two of you could hang out and tell stories to each other. He would definitely enjoy this place because of all of the bread you could order.

Surprisingly, Yeonjun was there already and you assumed he was writing something important down due to the determined expression on his face. He furrowed an eyebrow, slightly biting is lip while you inched towards him. You couldn’t help the smile that arose on your cheeks because of how endearing he looked as he worked hard, holding tightly to the books in your arms when you finally came close to him.

He looked up from his little notes of hearts and bunnies he was doodling as soon as a pair of shoes made unpretentious clitter-clacks, eyes lighting up with admiration when he realized that it was you standing there.

“I ordered your favorite dessert while waiting for you. Do you still like it?”

The words got stuck in your throat. He got you something? He must’ve been thinking of your arrival too attentively otherwise there’s no way that was true, but gosh did Yeonjun prove you wrong in a second.

Glancing at the sweets before you paired with a dainty teacup of your favorite drink, a gasp left your lips that embodied awe since he still remembered what you liked to order whenever you came to the Boulangerie with him. The snow white lace of the table fabric created flashbacks in your mind and you tensed up in realization. You hadn’t come here in two months- the last time you were able to picture your last date with him. Although, that wasn’t the point at all.

You were not to be expecting anything after the two of you separated even if the two of you were exes. It was just in Yeonjun’s moral codes in life to be kind to anybody and especially you whenever he please just because it was normal to him. You adored how pure he was, but at the same time you couldn’t shake how he acted towards you almost two months ago. That hostile expression on his face- one you’d never seen before- couldn’t ever be erased from your memory no matter how much effort you put in it.

But the past was the past. No bad things could happen like that now, could it? It was all because the two of you broke up. You were exes.

And yet, you could smile freely like nothing of the sort happened towards the two of you. After all, it was the right thing to do wasn’t it? Yeonjun would’ve wanted you to do that too, you knew it deep inside despite desiring to deny it. To move on and not have any feelings of pent up frustration and anger towards each other. Joy swelled in your heart at how much maturity you were gaining because of heartbreak. Maybe the two of you could be friends. Maybe.

“Thank you so much for doing this even if you didn’t have to, Yeonjun. I’m surprised you even came since your friends are much more interesting than me. I’m glad that you did though.”

You decided to take a bite in the delicacy, immediately not regretting the dulcet decision as you relished in the simple sweetness that came with it. Honestly, you missed this wonderful, mouth watering taste so much! Just like what you remembered, you shut your eyes in pure content, not being able to take in the sight of the boy in front of you who chuckled to himself.

Yeonjun heaved a breath of amusement from his chest, cheek laying down on his hand again as his eyes showed nothing but the sincere feeling of endearment towards you. He shifted comfortably on his side, grabbing one of the crimson, bright strawberries from his plate as he bit onto the juicy tip of it.

“You know, you’re always cute when you smile like that,” he whispered, not caring whether or not you heard it- which you obviously did.

You puffed your cheeks out at this.

“Shut up...! We’re here for a project, remember? Not to... flirt, silly.”

The mischievous yet saccharine grin on his face made you flustered and you glanced away from him, pretending to look at the tray of enclosed desserts that you saw when you first entered the bakery. You couldn’t allow yourself to become distracted like this! Not to mention that looking at him straight through doesn’t seem to help either!

“Oh, but when I look at you I can’t seem to focus on anything else. I’m being serious here; I just really can’t seem to take my eyes off you.”

The slamming yet gentle sound of you slamming the spoon you were holding on the table gave everything away and his eyes turned into euphoric crescents that only signaled delight.

“Yeonjun, I said shut your trap. All these cheesy compliments and I’ll... we have to do our project, so please cooperate and let’s put our work together to actually do something good.” You pulled your books together in a pile, acting as if you were really doing something in order to distract him from teasing you. The raging beat of your heart begged to differ, so you hoped he wouldn’t hear it or else that would give him another reason to make you flustered.

“As you wish, princess. We’ll work so well together that you’ll miss me once I drop you home!”

Princess...?

He’ll drop you home...?

You groaned in annoyance at the nickname and offer although you kind of enjoyed it, wanting to smack Yeonjun in the mouth for not listening to your request. He must’ve been deaf or something because the whole time he kept throwing coy phrases you’d never heard before or trying to whine about how much work it all was for the two of you.

You were only starting to understand how annoying he was whenever he got cranky and dozed off for thirty minutes, leaving you to search through all those books and gather information yourself which was luckily a lot of help. It was a nice silence for a while but once he got back to annoying you endlessly, you swore you could rip all your hair off from the frustration building up from inside of you.

How were you going to do a week of working with him when you couldn’t even look at him in the eye every time he made pouty, kissing lips? Or take him seriously whenever he called you a pet name for that matter? You wished future you the best luck, unfortunately not knowing what would arrive in the times to come.

...

“Hey, could you look at this for a second? I’m having trouble if I should or more exactly- how I should put this down when it makes no sense.”

You laughed at how clueless he was when it came to his favorite subject, shuffling right beside him to see what he was struggling with. It was too natural, too suspicious for the both of you not to know this. You contained the snickers of mock once you put it all together, silently calling him stupid in your head for not being able to jot down this simple effortless thing. You twisted your body towards the notes, enough for your shoulders to meet together.

Little did you know that Yeonjun only wanted you to come close to him, and it was more than suffice to say it worked out in his favor.

You were explaining everything to him but the only thing he could focus on was the little things about you. The bitty, endearing gestures of your hands while you connected two of the subjects, the way your chest heaved up and down when you took a tiny breath of air, and even how your lips opened and closed was enough for Yeonjun’s fluffy cheeks to heat up and bloom into a rosy red. The words droned off as it echoed between the two of you, easily becoming pointless since he wasn’t paying attention anyway.

A couple of seconds passed between the two of you when the bakery suddenly became silent, and he gripped the pencil he dropped earlier on the table as you shot him a shy smile. Yeonjun’s knuckles became white with every second his stare lingered on you. You were way too cute for your own good, and you didn’t even know it- so why was he surprised? He, too, was hoping you wouldn’t be able to notice the aggressive thumping in his chest.

“Yeonjun? You got all of that, right?” Your symphony-like voice snapped him from out of his trance.

“Okay, then I’ll put that down,” he breathed tiredly.” It looks like he was getting exhausted too, huh? You were about to say a few words of encouragement until he cut you off with his own.

“We’re almost done researching; just hang in there, alright? You’ve been doing so well, Y/N.”

The gentle, supporting words was enough to send ripples through your heart and you nodded your head, all the while checking through what you noted and what you forgot. You wanted to keep thinking about what he said and how it motivated you to keep going. You didn’t want to upset you and most definitely not him. However, the fatigue coating your eyes was too much and you slowly closed the heavy lids, head slowly turning to the side before you fell on something all too familiar.

A sudden yet light weight on his shoulder made him look up from what he was writing down, stunning him in his spot when he saw you had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He must’ve known that this much thinking wore you out after such a long while. A tender smile decorated his lips and he took in your every feature, hoping to draw out the face that made him feel alive.

“She’s so cute...” He grabbed his jacket from the side he’d taken off earlier, laying it gently upon you with his other hand as if it was something he’d done since the beginning of time. You nuzzled your cheek against his way too comfortable shoulder, becoming more snug with each minute that passed by. He couldn’t help the skip in his heartbeat when you muttered his favorite nickname in your sleep, this ‘Jjuniebug’ being much more different compared to the past because he knew you were dreaming of him.

When such a sight like this was to be treasured by anyone, he decided he didn’t want to work anymore. Like the gentleman he was, he gathered your books together, pushing your plate to the side before laying his head against yours. He intertwined your hands with his, grinning gently from ear to ear at the warmness he felt from inside.

He stole one more glance at you, fingers delicately dancing from your cheekbone all the way to your chin, tracing your jaw as gingerly as he could. This was what he was hoping for after such a long time of not receiving it. That itself was rightfully so, yet having you near meant the world and so much more to him.

Then he glanced out the window where rain was drizzling, creating a dreading gray atmosphere which was nothing but chaos. It could’ve been something that alerted him on such a dreary day, making him anxious at how he was going to get home in a mess. But to him, he wouldn’t trade this peaceful present. Always, he wanted to be close to you like this. It couldn’t have been too much to ask, honestly.

“Tell me,” he said to no one in particular, “how can you make a moment last forever?”

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Tuesday passed as quickly as Monday did and you swiftly got prepared for five pm later. You were bouncing with excitement, ready to see the boy who’d been waiting for you over at the library, a place you decided together when he texted you during lunch break. To be true to yourself, you couldn’t wait to work with him. All day you were waiting for the horrid, slow hours to pass of lectures and countless assignments online, lingering silently through the minutes that seemed to go by forever in hopes that everything would go faster. The relief you felt when you were dismissed for the day and the joy that swelled in your heart when you went home, preparing yourself as best you could.

You didn’t understand why you were buzzing with energy over meeting someone like this, for wasn’t it true the two of you were exes? Two months ago you broke up; that was quite obvious. It didn’t help that and that number one: he was a jerk after a while of dating you, and number two: he was probably playing with your heart if you decided to be smart. But then again you always rewarded that guilty pleasure by saying the past was the past and he bought you your favorite delicacy. He may have hurt you before and because of that, you promised yourself you wouldn’t ever date him ever again.

With that thought in mind you threw your favorite outfit on that you planned just the night before, looking in the mirror twice just to make sure you looked okay. Deep down you knew it was a lie to say you weren’t doing these special things for him, trying to convince yourself that in doing so- this dressing up would do your ego a favor. Yeonjun didn’t have to see this, not at all! It was all because you wanted to look decent. Just that.

So sneakily, you crept out of the house while slipping your shoes on since nobody would notice you were gone. You checked your phone at least twice before opening the door, clearly not ready for the surprising sight your eyes landed upon as soon as you left home.

In front of you was the boy who had taken your mind captive all day, smiling from ear to ear as his fingers combed gently through his blue hair.

You gasped at how he actually came to your house after teasing yesterday that he would, but you never knew he’d carry out his plan. He would keep poking your cheek while saying something under his breath like how he’d visit you one day to pick you up. He would never do that, right? Well no, you were extremely wrong and just a day after your project date went well.

Nonetheless, you couldn’t stop the touched grin on your face to know he was waiting for you.

“Hey, Y/N,” he shyly giggled and that itself made your heart skip a beat, “let’s walk to the library together today, alright? Wait, let me take your books, please!”

Even with your protests and several no’s, he still took your books and placed it snugly against his left arm, teasing about how light they were together. You glared at him for a second before taking a few steps when he suddenly grabbed your hand.

You turned around, eyes wide in a daze.

“What is it?”

An overwhelming heat rose up to your cheeks and ears, making you feel hot in the face as you realized he was still holding on.

“If it isn’t too much to ask, can I hold your hand today? I really miss the warm feeling you gave me last summer.”

He held his hand out expectantly, waiting for you to take it on your own accord. You easily obliged- albeit a bit hesitantly- putting your hand against his and allowing him to guide you to wherever- whenever he wanted. The way his eyes lit up as he lead you to the place was precious, making you feel soft with endearment at how gentle he treated you.

Now this? This was bad. So, so bad.

On the day you left Yeonjun’s house in tears, you weren’t expecting any of this to happen. You weren’t sure how you could trust him so easily after everything he’s done- maybe it was the way you felt his sincerity in every smile he sent you or how tenderly he had grabbed your hand just now, but the happiness bottling up inside you did not lie. You felt pure jubilation whenever you saw him.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

It was Wednesday.

Wednesday, the middle of the school days where you desperately wanted to claw your eyes out from how tedious everything was. Wednesday, a day where nothing significant happened but nothing too horrible happened either. Wednesday, a reminder that you only had two days left- counting today and Thursday- to work with Yeonjun. You hated the bitter taste of having to really say goodbye, but the future had to be on the brighter side then. After this, you swore you wouldn’t ever see him and his damn handsome face for another accidental time.

Just about reaching four in the afternoon, you decided to go with Soobin over to the Boulangerie where you’d been promising yourself to take him since Monday. It was luck on your side today that you actually went out for some fresh air, carrying out some of the awaiting plans you had on your checklist. Sometimes it was nice to have a breather in the middle of the week when everything else was distracting.

It started off as usual, and you realized you hadn’t seen him since that very day of hearing Yeonjun’s offer to be your partner. To be quite honest, you didn’t really think about telling him since it shouldn’t be that important, but the boy knew it was important just by from the hesitance in your expressions. His fingers placed the glass filled with chocolate milk on the table gently and curiously prodded.

“Y/N? You’ve been acting strange lately; is everything okay?”

You glanced up from the china plate, eyes widening with surprise. You weren’t sure what he was talking about. It couldn’t have been anything important, could it? Or were you being so obvious about your giant, giant problem?

“Yeah, everything is fine, Bin! Trust me, there isn’t anything going wrong but I guess you could say that... from your perspective.”

You made sure to look at the way he reacted and seeing how his head titled with wonder, you chose to give it a try.

“Well... I should’ve called you about this but I’m working with Yeonjun for a project. We have to turn it in by Friday, but we’ve been doing stuff on it since Monday. It doesn’t mean anything though, and we’re supposed to meet up at the park (Moonlight) today.” You intentionally left out the fact he asked you and those sweet moments since you were afraid of his reaction.

You knew he was one to be respectful and kind no matter the person, although because of all this tugging back and forth between his best friends- you couldn’t blame him for wanting to sock either one of you for being so stupid. And stupid were you and Yeonjun for not being able to get enough of each other, at least that’s how you viewed it. Soobin wouldn’t dare to hurt either one of you since the two of you were best friends; physically wouldn’t cut it. You hoped he would just remain patient like he’d always have- one thing you were grateful for, obviously, instead of freaking out at the recent moments you’ve experienced.

That being said, the look on Soobin’s face was absolutely priceless once you told him about your predicament.

“You two? On a project? TOGETHER?!”

Glumly you nodded your head, expecting him to say something but his mouth was filled with shock to the brim that he couldn’t even bring himself to say anything.

“Yup, that’s true. You didn’t know about it?” To say the least, you were surprised he didn’t know about it since Yeonjun was one to trust him about everything. Little things like this would count, yes, and you could very vividly remember how he blabbed to Soobin when you first started dating about how to keep a girl on her period happy.

In response, he shook his head, hand still glued covering his mouth. Your lips slightly turned upwards at his melodramatic feedback.

“No, he didn’t tell me anything at all about it! Why are you guys keeping secrets from me?”

Ouch, that stung. But at the same time, what were you expecting?

“That’s a surprise. I thought he couldn’t keep his mouth--”

The deafening, shuffling sound of the store bell rang throughout your ears, causing you to shudder at the intermittent sound. This was a popular Boulangerie so you didn’t need to be surprised whenever a new customer came in, but it stunned you at the worst times. You shrugged at Soobin’s suddenly ghost white reaction, thinking he was just kidding with you again and went back to the cup of a refreshing drink. Honestly, you couldn’t care less about it unless it was someone you knew.

You lifted the cup to pass through your lips until the familiar sight of messy radiant, blue hair caught the peripheral vision of your eye.

It had to be him. It couldn’t be anyone else.

“Y-Yeonjun...?”

As your heart dropped to your stomach, your voice broke out gently, making you the only person to hear it muffled with both distress and disbelief. There was no possible way you were witnessing what was happening in front of you. You didn’t want to believe it, squinting your eyes over and over again just to get a good look. It was still him no matter what you did, no matter what you changed.

Somehow, he didn’t notice you.

He sat down at a table, sending a sugary smile towards an alluring girl who sent him the same one back. Your back became rigid at the too close proximity of their faces. They chatted for a little bit about anything that could cross their minds, obviously flirting with the stares sent back and forth and back again until it turned into a full discussion- both of them laughing their hearts out. Happiness from the ideal ‘couple’ (as anyone could’ve mistaken them) spread around the Boulangerie contagiously, making everyone awe at the sight of them fully enjoying themselves. But you? You? Your heart shattered piece by piece while watching this play out.

Too many questions flooded in your mind at once as well as too many insecurities, paralyzing you in your spot as you couldn’t find the correct way to breathe again. It was getting too hard to find the air in, you realized. Soobin called your name out many times- to get you to listen, to get you out of your stupid trance, to get you to do anything else in the world but look because it’d hurt you just as much as it did for him!

To this, you were only sitting still, staring and staring like a dormant painting hanging in a museum just to find out that you wouldn’t ever be able to change anything, but only see the people in front of you. You didn’t want to look at the face of pain in front of you but... if you looked away then something else might happen.

You cradled yourself in your arms, trying to stop the icy cold breeze that whirled pass your rips and over to the tips of your toes. It didn’t make sense to you. Why even bother putting effort into winning him back? You wouldn’t be able to be as good enough. You shouldn’t have even tried in the first place.

You gulped down those insecurities again, trying to calm your shaking hands.

It wasn’t possible to be that perfect... not at all. She was such a stunning girl, the epitome of everything you weren’t and what you didn’t have. She had such sparkling eyes, such a gorgeous smile, and not to mention an impeccable complexion that had every single girl in the world jealous. Everything about her was simply perfect and that drowned your own specialties into the deepest ocean called hatred.

Once again you glanced at Yeonjun who seemed to be having fun with the deep chuckles and smiles he was freely giving up. Oh, how bad you wanted it to be you but this reminder was one that gave you a wake up call. You never really had a chance in the first place.

He then turned his head a little to the side, ultimately being able to see you sitting next to Soobin just like you had planned. His honeyed brown eyes changed from smug into something unreadable you couldn’t put your finger on before changing in a split second to look back at the girl.

The decision dawned on you, and you clenched your fists until you felt flashing, white pain run through your fingers.

He didn’t even care.

You were stupid enough to believe he actually liked you back again. You were stupid enough to think that with all these sweet interactions and words, he was warming up to you for another countless time. You were stupid to think he was being truthful that drunken night, saying he needed you clearly as much as you needed him. Finally, you were stupid enough to think he loved you. Now the proof was smack dab in your face, blinding you from your goal of hating him, and you were such a fool to be thinking he would really be yours after such a long while.

The glossy tears gathered in your eyes, angry, frustrated but pointless words with no explanation becoming more stuck in your throat when you glanced once more at the sight across from you. Time passed by through the regal clock, ringing in an ear and out the other. One way or another, you needed to get out of there and you needed it to be now.

You hastily slung your bag filled with papers over your shoulders, making sure you hid the flowing tears from everyone’s sight. Just one turn and he’d probably see you so pitiful at the wrong time. You certainly didn’t want to look pathetic, especially not in front of Yeonjun, whom you still loved with all your heart.

In a dash, you aggressively swiped the entrance of the door handle and into the day where you just wanted to disappear. Bell ringing haphazardly behind you, you weren’t able to perceive you were out of the bakery until another customer ignored your everblooming sadness, struggling behind you to get the door. Tears soon fell on the ground after holding them in for too long, signaling your vulnerability as you crouched down behind the bakery to let everything keeping your heart captive out. This time, for real, you really weren’t going to see him again even if it meant your grades being obliterated.

You hated him. You hated him so much for what he did back there.

And yet here you were, running away from your problems again.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Y/N?”

It was a mistake. It was all a mistake. You shouldn’t have pressed accept without looking at the contact name. You were just so stupid that it was funny. Just another one of the reasons why he wouldn’t ever want to date you again. How could you blame him for breaking up with you?

“Y/N, you there?”

He was seeing another girl, you should’ve known. Why didn’t you know? Why did you have to be such a fool to be used in the first place? And why the hell were you sad about it when you could be using this opportunity to be getting over him?!

“Y/N, you’re not responding and I’m getting worried. Is there something I can do? Please...?”

You were just exes. Exes, for crying out loud! Exes. That’s all.

“Y/N, if you’re there just-”

“yeah, I’m right here,” you murmured quietly, caring any less that he might have not heard you in the end. If he was able to really see how you accidentally looked at him earlier, then surely he would’ve known how the world crashed on your shoulders just by looking at you. Oh, but it was funny wasn’t it? It didn’t matter anyway. After all, he wouldn’t give a damn right? Not what he did back there he wouldn’t.

Because of that, you realized that this conversation with him was not needed. Whether it was because of the project or if it was for a favor, you wouldn’t be able to do it without looking weak in his eyes. Your finger hovered over the red button, tempted to press hang up until again, his act of using a concerned voice tugged painfully on your heart strings.

“Wait, are you okay? Do you need me to be there? Something’s wrong, I know you’re not okay,” he tried for another time, breathing through the call tiredly as if he was oblivious to what went on earlier. The hate for him smoldered in your chest, and your fingers tightened around the phone so arduously that they turned white, shaking hysterically.

“No, I...” you felt your voice break, and you covered the change in pitch by clearing your throat. With the lump so gigantic that you couldn’t even breathe, it hurt to tell him a lie, much less speak at that moment. You put on a tone to make it more believable. “Everything’s fine. Just busy right now.”

“You’re lying,” he whispered so softly into the receiver you were wondering yourself if you had heard him in the first place. You forced yourself to laugh at his statement, but it came naturally, knowing it was all too true.

“I’m not lying, I promise! I just took a nap, that’s all. No need to be so worked up over me.” You figured that teasing him would be the best way to cover up your sorrow, giggling alongside him because you were so bad at lying. Nonetheless, you hoped he would take this approach, waiting silently on the floor for his best answer.

On the other side he hummed hesitantly, mumbling a few words that you couldn’t quite comprehend because you knew he didn’t want to hear them. You barely noticed you were in the corner holding yourself, rocking back and forth as the anticipation of just hanging up crept up on you.

Before you could start, Yeonjun grumbled in concern.

“Well... okay then. But if you really want to convince me you’re fine then you’ll keep your promise and meet at Moonlight today. We still have a lot to do, so let’s meet up at the usual time. You’ll be there, right?”

“Um... I...”

What else could you say? It would be rude to decline and you weren’t in the mood to lie after all that. Well, he didn’t buy it all but at least he got off the topic. You were thankful to him for not budging, although this had to be one of the worst things he could ever suggest. Not only about how you feel in the end but about the project too. As far as you were concerned, you only a little left so you were able to work separately anyway. He didn’t have to go so far to do things his way, but this would show you he didn’t need you at all.

You spoke on impulse hastily after the long, deafening silence.

“Yeah, okay. S-see you then.”

Abruptly, you hung up before the tears could start again. Not even letting him throw in a sincere goodbye to your predicament.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Just like what you remembered, Moonlight was still a breathtaking place where the golden sun shone during the day and the moon peeked out from the dim curtains of nighttime. You sighed, staring longingly at the beautiful scenery before you and sat down under one of the trees. It’d been so long since you chose to come here, especially by yourself this time. There were happy memories that came along with this place and you didn’t want to think about the bad ones, of course. However everywhere you looked, it would only remind you of him and that was the least thing you wanted to have at the back of your mind right now.

Checking the time, you made sure you didn’t arrive too early or too late. It was a few minutes after five and true to your word, you actually came. You were surprised at yourself for showing up voluntarily with your mind in such a bad condition, acting as if you were okay just for a stupid project. If you’d done this earlier, you would’ve definitely said no. Perhaps it was the way he was worried about you- although, you thought it was fishy- that you wanted to come. Maybe then you would’ve gotten the attention you wanted after all this time, with this being the final time you’ll see him.

Eventually, you saw the familiar blue haired boy arrive just a quarter after your planned time. He was panting heavily and you swore you almost felt bad for him until the image of him catching eyes with you from earlier rearranged your thought process by miles. You stood up expectantly as he ran over to you, planting his hands on his knees in order to regain breath.

“So sorry for being late, Y/N,” he choked out restlessly, taking your hands into his as an apology. He held them tightly in place, squeezing in an attempt to excuse himself for why he was late. Instantly you gasped at the contact, slowly pulling away so that he wouldn’t realize that you more or less hated his affection. At times when you’d be melting at this, you failed to realize that your suspicions were true and he was playing you behind your back.

A tight lipped smile that screamed passive-aggressiveness became of your lips and you were eager to take a few steps away from him, shuffling to get under the spot you sat earlier. You backed away a little bit but weren’t able to get far because your shoes slipped from something shaped like a square underneath you. The breath was knocked off your lungs as you fell towards the ground and you plunged back, waiting to hit the ground. That is, until someone caught you by the waist.

You opened your eyes after a few seconds of waiting and as soon as you did... you felt all the blood rush up into your face.

“Y-Yeonjun...”

You weren’t expecting anything like this. Nothing sweet like this at all! Said boy was intently gazing at you, holding you by the waist as you were too shocked to say or hell- even do anything with him this close. Your head tilted away to the side this time, trying to think of anything else that would stop the intermittent pace of your heart beats. Gossiping with Soobin about what happened just now, the way you fell at school a few years earlier and embarrassed yourself and how he helped you up out of everyone else right after, the first moment you laid eyes on him and met the blue haired boy just like that... But no, all you could think of was him, him, and only him!

He seemed to be getting a kick out of this, teasing you with an adorable smile that had you awestruck.

“Were you scared...? Don’t worry about it anymore; I’ll always be here to catch you when you fall, I promise.”

It was then that he started to lean in after chuckling at your shyness, bringing your face closer to his as his eyes ran across yours. Your breath quickened just by looking back at him turn towards you- his gorgeous eyelashes that you felt the need to count each, his nose that was sculpted by the angels, his cherry blossom pink lips you so desperately needed- memorizing every valley on his face as you had done earlier when the two of you dated. Oh wait, dated...?

In a moment, you flung yourself off him. What were you doing with him?! Whatever this was and whatever he was doing- it wasn’t right! It just wasn’t right... It wasn’t right when he was choosing to see someone else, and that girl back there no matter how much you couldn’t help but despise her- did not deserve it. It wasn’t right.

Your legs felt like jelly, unable to stand by yourself as you carried out an attempt to get away from him. It didn’t seem so long ago that you couldn’t get enough of him but now you were itching to be left alone. You wanted to deal with this yourself, not reignite the fire of the hopes that he would return back. He lost that chance and you lost the chance of loving him again- even if yes, you still did love him. It was enough for you anyway- the love he gave you before only serving as a unreachable memory. You realized you needed to relinquish him.

Immediately you pushed him off you, watching the sweet expression on his face bend into something broken. The distance between you became even farther and farther with every breath your chest heaved. You gulped.

“I’m fine. Let’s just get to work so we can finish this,” you deadpanned, bringing your books that used to be laying dormant on the green grassland against your chest, moving under the tree where he broke up with you. This way you would be able to remind yourself that it wasn’t meant to be.

Surprised by your ill nature, Yeonjun nodded carefully, deciding to ponder in his head what was making you act this way instead of asking more questions. There was obviously something wrong, but he didn’t want to bother you more. To him he was unable to think of what he had done wrong and certainly hated the tense atmosphere when you refused to touch him, much less look at him. He just went along with it unknowingly like a fool that it was because of him the whole time.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

It was too hard to concentrate.

Your eyes searched despondently over the materials over and over and over again to write down something- anything that could possibly benefit the project, but it didn’t help at all that your mind was still on the boy sitting in front of you. Like a mantra, the memories of him smiling with that flawless girl kept replaying in your head as many more times as you bit by bit became insane with wrenching love.

Again, you couldn’t help but steal another glance at him before quickly ducking back down so he wouldn’t be able to catch you staring. He looked so peaceful while retracing his steps in the books, laying on his hand as a stand for his cheek. You hated how he could act so fine while you were left with nothing but hate towards him. Could you even call it hate anyway? It wasn’t true at all.

Yeonjun’s soothing voice snapped you out from your daze of pity, but it did the least to heal you and your pathetic attitude.

“Hey, do you think we could rest a second? I might fall asleep here if we have to keep reading about this nonsense stuff.”

You didn’t look up from your book, allowing him easy access to rest on your shoulder as silently as he could. His heart leaped with joy in his chest, but there was no chance he’d ever say it out loud. He graciously laid his head down upon it, becoming enamoured with your scent as he reached out to touch your hand. This need of affection easily leveled the desire which screamed out he needed you, but he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get an opportunity to be yours again.

You, on the other hand, was dying to tell him you loved him- but it wasn’t right when he simply had the same love as you for another girl.

But at the same time, you wanted to be strong. You had to be strong in order to convince him you were doing fine without him even if the truth was far from that. You had to put on a mask to hide the pain you were going through just because of him and his stupid, contagious smile that makes you grin every time you see it. You had to be strong, otherwise you’d never fool him that you needed him more than anything or anybody you’ve ever wanted. You had to be strong... but why were all your actions simply betrayed you no matter what you did?

“Get off me.”

Your shoulders started to shake aimlessly, shuddering when you felt his head bury more into the crook of your skin. He must’ve not heard anything, and you clenched your jaw until it twitched with pain.

“I said, get off me!”

As hard as you could, you pushed him off you- enough that you were just inches apart from him. It didn’t compare to the distance between you that you came to note before.

The tears were hot against your cheeks and you collapsed into your shaking hands, unable to hold it in anymore. In all your life, you’ve never felt so humiliated before just because a boy lied to you willingly. You felt pathetic.

To say the least, Yeonjun was taken aback, his eyes wide with shock as he hopelessly reached out his hand to you. All the love you bore just for him crashed into waves upon your chest, and you slapped his fingers away harshly before he could even say something.

Miserably you hid your face from him, not allowing him to see such a mess that he caused by his own hands.

“Who even are you? Are you the Choi Yeonjun who broke up with me or are you someone else?! I don’t understand how you can act like this after everything that happened... tell me, are you just playing with me or something?”

“Y/N, that’s not what I meant to do...” he tried tiredly, scooting closer to no avail as you turned your back away from him.

You laughed at his words, still not being able to look at him straight in the eye.

“Not what you meant to do? You’re telling me that it’s not what you meant to do?! Then who- who was she? Because it seemed to me that you were happier with her than you could’ve ever been with me!”

The silence that broke you apart was too deafening as you caught another look at him.

“Y/N, that’s not true... just listen, please,” Yeonjun begged, gazing at you desperately with unreadable but melancholy expression that had you on edge. He knew that you wouldn’t stay if he physically bound you in his embrace, but he had no clue what to do or what to say. He just wanted- no, needed you to really live.

Your heart broke all the more at the words he tried to pick up in order to explain- which you were sure he could hear even if he seemed very far. Easily you trashed his attempt away, getting up from your spot since you didn’t want to hear anything- anymore lies that would hurt the person you tried so hard to protect and shield away from the inevitable demise of love... that was you.

Yeonjun hurriedly got up along with you, leaving the pile of your books abandoned on the floor as he rushed out to match your pace. He ran with all his might to catch up with you but every time he reached your side- you would push him away like earlier and he didn’t have time to find his breath.

“Yeonjun, leave her alone. Haven’t you done enough, already?”

Seconds later upon hearing another voice, you rushed to someone else’s side, hoping that he would be able to protect you from the danger. It was pitiful with you standing right behind him as if that would help, but it did more than what you could ever be grateful for.

Yeonjun tensed up at his spot, stunned to see Soobin when he could’ve sworn nobody else was at Moonlight. In his mind, he could see the two of you right there apart from everything else- the two friends that looked so good together... it had to be much better than him after what he’d done. He came to a thought, letting his guard down while words of Soobin asking too many questions towards you occupied his head.

“I knew it. I knew you two were dating. I-I should’ve known,” he mumbled under his breath, his morals paralyzing him in place as he dropped his gaze towards at the ground instead.

Somehow Soobin heard this muttering and smugly smirked at this silly situation, taking a fresh opportunity that could probably boost destiny’s way before hiding it with a deep frown. He pulled you flush against his chest, holding you when you surprisingly really needed it from someone else.

“You finally figured this out? Leave us alone; you lost your chance the minute you broke up with her, pal.”

As Soobin dragged you along, you took one last look towards Yeonjun and gasped when you saw along with yours- two longing eyes flowing with tears that were nothing short of love. You wanted to reach out to help him not to cry like that even if he hurt you, but it would never work out and he’d leave you just like he’d done before. This only showed that you weren’t meant to be, never in a million years.

And with that you left with the help of Soobin, leaving Yeonjun alone at Moonlight. Time passed to the point where he gazed upon the stars- wishing that you would come back because he wanted to say he still loved you- by himself.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

It was Thursday, the final day where the two of you would ultimately finish this project. The death of having an obligation which ripped your heart out, for better or for worse. The demise of whatever love you shared. The end of seeing him because you really wanted- no, you needed to. Everything was over in a blink of an eye and you were left feeling bittersweet about the situation... more bitter compared to sweet because you wanted more time with him. You knew deep down inside it wasn’t too much to ask, but... ending this would be for the better. It must be.

You were on your usual pathway home from the library after trying to bribe the librarian to excuse you from losing your books (when you actually accidentally left it there with him) while along the way thinking about what to do to make a grand finish for the project. Since the two of you worked on it a lot for a few hours before you exploded on him- something you weren’t sorry for in the least bit because it got your feelings out- it was safe to say that he wouldn’t bother you about it anymore. He finished his side, you were assuming, so he didn’t have to see you for the time being unless he ever decided to talk it out with you. Other than the fact that you totally hurt him back there, it honestly served you a great victory on a silver platter as you waited for the dragged out day to be over.

It was petty, of course it was! But after what he did back there at the Boulangerie while not to mention, make eye contact with you- sweet revenge had to be one of the best tastes a connoisseur could ever call upon.

And the project? Oh yeah, that’s right. It was a good thing that it was the final day so you wouldn’t have to act civil with him, for better or for worse.

After a few more blocks finally, you made it home, causing you to sigh out in relief. Hurriedly you grabbed your keys from your purse, fumbling with several of them to find the one that fit perfectly. The familiar touch never came though, and you groaned loudly, cursing yourself in your head for forgetting it in the library. It was when you set it down next to the book you were reading before you confronted the librarian- poor old woman- and somehow, you forgot to pick it up the second you got up.

Great, now this.

You opted to stare at the horizon in front of you, letting the breeze freely cool down your body. The sight was nothing less than pretty. It was a windy, golden sunny day outside but you didn’t want anything to do with it. All day you were planning to mope around the house and watch your favorite shows, procrastinating ‘til the last minute until the due date of every assignment arrived. They hit differently whenever you grabbed a bag of chips downstairs to finish them along with the homework, and you giggled at every moment that flashed in your head.

There was nothing else better to do but call Soobin, right? Although you didn’t want to bother him because these months have definitely been annoying for him whether he said it or not.

Defeated, you then stared down into the white porch as if it was at fault, feeling fear rise up your throat. What were you going to do? There was no one else you had given the key to, except...

“Y/N? Can we talk?”

Oh, no. Oh, no... Oh no no no!

When you heard that voice you were instantly glued to that spot, feet affixed on the porch as your heart beat too fast for its own good. Your mind must’ve been hallucinating and playing tricks on you; clearly you weren’t ready to see him yet!

Swiftly you moved your head to the side, eyes widening with appall to see that he was actually right there. Expression nothing less than sorrow, hair messed up and fluffy right in front of his eyes, cherry blossom lips curved into a trembling frown: it was Yeonjun, alright, but yet it was someone you couldn’t recognize due to the complete change of attitude in him. He was tightly holding onto your books but seemingly refusing to hand them over as if that would do anything better and increase the need for conversation. Unlike his stiff posture, his eyes held firm intent though, and you quivered at the determination sewn in them.

“Do you need anything?”

Instead of acting childish like you played out in your head, you simply responded it a curt voice because it was better than saying nothing and benefiting the sworn silence. More than anything you wanted to get out of there and leave the awkward tension, but there was nothing else you could possibly do without embarrassing yourself due to the fact you lost your keys.

“I... I...” This time, he avoided your eyes, words caught in his throat as he couldn’t find the exact thing to say. It wouldn’t make things any better, you realized. It just wasn’t meant to be.

You pursed your lips, locking them into a line. Whatever he had to say- it didn’t matter. Plus, there was another thing. As your eyes were already tearing up, it would be hard to stay for long to listen to his words. There was no telling what you’d say if tears automatically streamed down your cheeks.

“If you don’t have anything to say, then I’ll l-leave. We can just work on the project separa-”

Clack!

Before you could even stay true to your words, Yeonjun took slow steps towards you that had you walking backwards... without you looking.

Soon enough your back hit the door, and you gasped at the close proximity between the two of you now as he leaned in. His hands reached out to cage you in between his arms, tilting his head to the side to study your reaction. The soft blue hair brushed against the top of your head- showing how dangerously close he was. His breath fanned across your lips and his heavenly cologne infiltrated your sense of smell. If he decided to torture you even more, then you’d be able to touch noses from how near he was.

Look, you weren’t sure how to describe it at that moment other than- he was pinning you to the damn wall?! Suddenly you felt all the blood rush in your face, and it was then that you couldn’t make eye contact with him anymore- especially because he’d see how embarrassed you were! He didn’t have to be that close!

“yes, I need something. Or more specifically, you.”

His voice was much more huskier than you remembered it to be, and his eyes fell upon yours, begging for you to look back if not for your anxiety that he was this close. You immediately shut your eyes, heart beating erratically in your chest even if you tried to stop it by focusing on something else. But Yeonjun... how could you not think of anything else but him?! He was nothing short of breathtaking but seeing him this close and personal... it didn’t do good things for your heart!

“M-me?”

It was obvious that the boy was amused even if he felt guilty about the problem, making a quick exhale through his nose to show entertainment. His chuckle that came heartily through his chest caused your ears to heat up with shame since it showed how weak you were- just for him.

“Yes you, you silly baby,” he cooed endearingly, “who else could it be?”

“You’re one to be calling me silly! Don’t pretend like you were the one the other day who asked if frogs have blood!”

In a split second, his face morphed into something nothing less than serious and his left arm dropped to his side. You couldn’t help but wonder at the duality he managed to have when the gravity of the situation hit him.

“I miss things like this. I miss it so much. I miss joking around with you and chasing you around the house just to tickle you. I miss how attached you were because little did you know, I was just as much attached to you as you were to me.

“I miss the sweet look you give me every time I ask you out on a date. I miss having you right beside me whenever we studied together because you were the only person who cheered me on even when it was two in the morning. I miss giving you random kisses out of nowhere because I can’t get enough of you and that adorable, surprised face whenever I did so.

“I miss slipping my hand into yours whenever we would walk home together, letting you cling onto me so that I could protect you from all dangers. I miss giving you victory every argument we had because I hate making you cry. I miss cuddling you on the couch as we watched our favorite shows together whenever we were too lazy to get up and how I couldn’t stop smiling every time you laughed.

“I miss kissing the top of your forehead and you never knew because you were asleep. I miss waking up with you by my side and seeing something so gorgeous it would stay in my head all day even if I studied the same materials over and over again. I miss looking up at the stars with you at Moonlight and resting my head on your lap as you ran your fingers through my hair and how we’d do it every single week.

“Can’t you see? I miss you and every little thing you do, simple or exquisite. I know why you acted that way yesterday and I hate myself so much for not realizing it until later. I owed her something after she told me a way to somehow get closer to you when I’d done such a horrible thing. You can love Soobin- I don’t care about myself anymore as long I get to see my favorite girl smile due to the fact that she’s in love.

“Y/N, you mean much more to me than anything and it’s okay if you’re happy not loving me again because at least I got to experience the full joy and sadness that visited along with the love of my life. This may be the last time you may ever want to see me, but please... let me tell you how much I need you one last time.”

His eyes were shining, full of sincerity that you were able to feel even if you weren’t him. Tears resembling glistening pearls streamed down with his cheeks as he finally told you the truth he’d been dying to tell you, allowing you to see his vulnerabilities inside out. And yet, he was genuinely smiling as he confessed this, happy enough he got the chance to tell you loved you one last time.

Gradually he extended his arms out wide, allowing you to have your personal space while he took a few steps backwards and towards the grass where you followed him. By the end of it all, you weren’t able to help the tears welling up in your eyes at how touched you were from the inside. It was him, the boy who promised to love you until the end of time.

“Y-Yeonjun, I...” he cut in through your words, closing his eyes in fear of the pain that would soon become of his body if you did in the end, choose to grant his wish. It simply wasn’t enough to level the agony of his heart, but he was willing to take all the pain instead of burdening it on you.

“I’ll let you push me. I’ll let you hit me. I’ll let you get back what you deserve. You can slap me, as long as you let everything out. I don’t want you to hurt anymore because of me, so just do it!”

...

Silence.

Oh, the euphoric relief coursing in your veins that really pushed you over the edge.

Immediately you threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could because you never wanted to let go. You melted into his embrace upon contact, burying your head against his chest that was warm and overflowing with passion. Yeonjun hesitantly embraced you back, unsure of what happened just now.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his dumbfound expression.

“You silly baby,” you teased, repeating his playful words from earlier, “I’m not dating Soobin and I never have. Why would I date him when I’ll never love this way again?”

You booped his nose as quickly as you could, smiling when he finally reciprocated the same grin back.

“Choi Yeonjun, you were such a fool to lose me, but I’m even more of a fool to love you again. I’ve never stopped loving you, although I’m sure you already knew that, hEY-”

With happiness overflowing the boy, he picked you up and you were swept off your feet in a second. Wide smiles reflected back and forth from his face to yours as he spun you around him a few inches from the ground, pure bliss surrounding the two of you since you both were complete again. He let you laugh in his hands, tickling your sides unintentionally while you snickered at him to let you down. He only chuckled at this, stopping in place but still refusing to listen to your request.

“I love your very big brain that’s so smart it makes me frustrated with how dumb I am sometimes,” he brought you down a little bit to kiss your forehead. He then trailed down to your nose.

“I love how you ask me for opinions of perfume when you know deep down instead I adore your natural scent instead,” he kissed your nose and you laughed at the feeling it naturally gave you.

“But most importantly,” Yeonjun placed you down on the golden grasslands again and ceased right in front of your lips, letting his breath fall upon them, “I love you.”

Then he connected your lips together, bringing you closer towards him than he had ever done before.

At last, everything was finally perfect.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Posted: 3/29/21- 1:37am (yes i did stay up halfway to two am just to get this finished. priorities people- it’s just a sweet early monday here 😔🧍)

Tags:

#txt fluff #txt angst #txt reactions #txt fic #txt ff #txt scenario #txt imagines #txt drabbles #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun angst #yeonjun fic #yeonjun ff #yeonjun scenario #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun drabbles #txt fanfic #yeonjun fanfic #*｡『 keah’s requests !』｡*

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ffangirlingsince2001 · 4 years

Text

Nothing Alike: IV

Description: Geralt of Rivia has been tasked with taking out a fellow Witcher who has decided to settle down in a town. She has no intention of leaving and Geralt is forced to take matters into his own hands.

Geralt x Reader

Warnings: smut, angst, choking, language

Masterlist

He was shocked to find her still there the next morning, tangled up in his white sheets. She was on her stomach, face pressed into the pillow, snoring softly. She was surprisingly muscular for being someone so small. He fought to trace her spine. Despite the muscle he could see every vertebra, and he did his best to focus on nothing else. The scars reminded him of his own days at school, not something he preferred not to remember. Most of them weren’t deep, merely a reminder she would have to endure for her eternity. The rest of her was soft, even the scars were softer than his own. He would have to enjoy it while it lasted, because the moment she was awake she would return to rough and jagged. He watched her as she stretched, back arching like a cat in the noon-day sun. Through her early morning haze she glanced at him, tossing locks of hair behind her shoulder.

“G’morning,” she mumbled, propping herself up on her elbow as she rolled to face him. He offered her a small smile, a betrayal to himself. He enjoyed her sleepy too, it was when she was fully awake that he wanted to toss her across the room. She kissed his jaw before dropping back to the bed, resting her hand on her bare stomach. He trailed a finger down her arm, shocked when she jerked away, glaring at him.

It seemed she was awake once more.

She left the bed like a whirlwind, wrapping the sheet around her as she strode towards the window. She pressed her hands against the rotted window ledge, looking out of over the street.

He could still see the scars.

“So, where are we off to?”

“What do you mean we?”

“That was the deal, remember. I come with you and you leave your child surprise alone.” He had almost forgotten about that; about the deal he had so irrationally made as she stared at him across the table with murder in her eyes. That’s what had gotten her into bed with him in the first place, his orders.

“I had forgotten.” She turned around, biting her nail, a smile playing at her lips.

“Liar.” It was a bite, harsh and unforgiving. It was laced with a heavy iron chain, one of her own making, and one she was willing to bear in order to spare another. She claimed to be selfish, but it was clear that she was anything but.

“Come here,” he said, crooking his finger as he ushered her closer. She raised an eyebrow but drifted closer, allowing the sheets to slip from her arms and to the ground. He licked his lips and she blushed like the virgin damsel he knew she wasn’t. She knew, she knew fucking everything, and yet she acted as if she knew nothing.

That was when he hated her the most, not when she was soft, or jagged, but when she was acting. He just wanted her to be honest, to look at him and tell him how much she despised his very existence. He wanted her to scream, to insult him the same way she had when they had first met, and instead here she was pretending like she would obey every word he uttered.

He flinched as her knees pressed into the mattress. Her touch against his chest was soft, loving if it had been anyone else, but it made him wince. She pressed her lips to his sternum, painting a path towards his neck. He regretted his order as she swung a leg over his body, straddling his waist.

“Stop,” he ordered, pushing her off and onto the mattress beside him. “Stop, stop, stop.” She pulled away, as smug as could be. She knew everything, she had known everything her entire life, and she loved every minute of it. Without uttering a word, she climbed off and began to dress. Pants first and then she pulled out bandages he had never seen before. With the skill of someone who had done it a thousand times she wrapped her chest until it was tight and snug. She buttoned her shirt, tucked it in and tightened her belt. The only thing that reminded him she had been naked moments before was her boots, laying beside his. She climbed into bed beside him and he shifted, the discomfort had only grown now that she was dressed, and he was not.

“Get dressed huh?”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean if you’re not going to fuck me, we might as well get on with it, I’m paying for the room after all.”

“I thought I was giving orders.”

“And I thought you were too pussy to give them.” He growled and flipped over her, pinning her against the mattress. She struggled and he breathed a sigh of relief. This was her; the struggle was her. She glared at him, pushing and pulling at his grasp.

“Get off,” she growled, head thrashing.

“No, I want you listen.”

“You don’t have anything worth listening to.”

“No, if you’re going to be tailing me before I decide to kill you, there are a few rules you need to learn.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Geralt growled, shifting both her wrists to one of his hand. With the other hand he dragged it towards her throat, fingertips feeling the bumps in the mattress and strands of hair as they went. She struggled until his fingers closed around her throat.

“Y/N, I could do it right here, end your traitorous life right now,” he snarled, his fingers tightening. She coughed, arching her back, bucking her hips as she tried to free herself. “I could do it without a second thought, snap your worthless neck and go about my day.” She was practically unrestrainable now, twisting and turning like a wild cat trapped in a snare. “So, don’t test me, little girl.” He held it a moment longer and then relaxed. Her body snapped like a rubber band, falling to nothing as she struggled to regain her breath.

“Fuck you,” she managed to rasp through her breaths.

“You already did,” He climbed off her and began to dress, leaving her panting on the bed. She was right, because of course she was. The rush of not giving a fuck what the rest of the world thinks about his actions, well it was almost better than the feeling of her beneath him. When he turned around, pulling his shirt on in the process she was lacing her boots with rageful vigor, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye every time she messed up. He could see bruises forming in the shape of his fingers. She leaned back, fingers tracing the bruises as she stared at wall.

He stared back, daring her to say anything more, to test him one more time. That was really all he wanted, a fight that he knew he could win. She was the first person he had ever met who let him throw her around and fought back without fear in her eyes. He had searched for it in playfights with friends, real fights with enemies, even sex with whores, but no one had ever looked him in the eyes, struggling as their body went limp, without an ounce of fear. Yet, she had. She had looked him dead in the eyes, dared him to continue, and never shown an ounce of fear.

But now, now she wouldn’t even look at him. Her eyes were closed, eyelashes fluttering every time she touched a particularly tender spot. He watched her as he pulled on his boots. She was still herself, strong and fierce, but she wouldn’t look at him.

She wouldn’t fucking look at him. He thought about ordering her, demanding that she look at him, but the thought of her biting back moved his hand forward. He had assumed his hand would be harsh, angry, but it was soft. He gently lifted her chin and her eyes fluttered open.

“Look at me,” he muttered enjoying the sight of gold reflecting gold. She didn’t bite back, didn’t pull away just stared back at him, eyes wide and full of light that no one, not even he could choke out.

“I am,” she replied softly, and he chuckled, pulling his hand away before offering it to her. She took it and he helped her stand. When she smiled at it him it was completely genuine, not an ounce of hurt. It would have been impossible for anyone else to even know that he had almost killed her before, had the bruises not been so glaringly obvious. “So where are we off to?”

“I’m not sure.”

“So… just wandering the countryside then?”

“For now?”

“I’m not sure how profitable that is, but I’m all yours.” He hated it when she said that. It was always and would always be a lie.

“Anything to protect the child?”

“Anything and everything.” He laughed again before stepping away and holding open the door for her. She raised an eyebrow at the chivalry before picking up her own weapons and stepping into the hallway.

People stared as she walked through the bar. They stared at the pair of them and the bruises on her neck, whispering to one another as she strolled by. She didn’t care, he wasn’t sure if she had ever cared about anything. That was something he would have to ask her about: if she cared about anything.

The sun was rich against his skin, soft, warm, and golden. It was just like her eyes, perhaps even a little colder. It dulled in comparison, faltering even further when she turned to smile at him.

“Don’t look, but there’s a man here to kill me,” she muttered behind a bright smile. His head shot up and she rolled her eyes. “I said not to look.”

She wasn’t wrong, of course. Another man was standing down the road, staring at them with confusion and anger. And then he noted the bruises, fingers clenching around the handle of his sword.

“She has to die, White Witcher,” he called over the bustle of the street. Y/N glanced at him with a smile.

“I see you know each other.”

“Everyone knows me.”

“Awfully arrogant, aren’t you?”

“Only when people threaten my keep.” She scoffed at him and drew her sword.

“I think you forget, my lord, I am no one’s keep.” And then she stepped forward brandishing her sword in the sunlight. Quickly he grabbed her, pulling her back beneath the crook of his arm. She struggled, eyes narrowing.

“I know.”

“Then let me go.”

“I can’t do that, you’ve stolen his money, of course he wants to kill you.”

“Then let him try.”

“You just like the rush.”

“Maybe a little,” she smirked and he rolled his eyes leading her towards Roach. He pulled her on after he had mounted and quick as a whip they rode past the angry man and into the countryside she had slandered only minutes earlier.

What on earth had he gotten himself into?

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orangerosebush · 3 years

Text

Sturm und Drang

In hindsight, Butler should have realized it would only be so long before his charge grew bored with life within the manor. Artemis Fowl I had made sure the Fowl estate was well stocked with the finest things their fortune could afford: the kitchen had aromatic spices from every inch of the globe; the library was practically bursting with esoteric texts; the walls were adorned with beautiful tapestries and paintings. Artemis Fowl I had beaten the world down so that it fit within the stone walls of Fowl manor, and in theory, his wife and son had to want for nothing. When Angeline had been younger, Butler remembered her leaving on weekend trips to visit her family or friends, but after her son was born, it seemed like she was content to retreat into the beautiful dollhouse her husband had fashioned around her. Perhaps the reality of who her husband was and where she lived had finally sunk in, Butler mused, carrying the tea tray. At least inside she didn’t have to think about the sectarian violence broiling in Northern Ireland, or the heating-up Cold War, or the vile things her adoring husband had done to pay for their life in the manor.

Butler poked his head into the Fowl study, rapping a hand against the door frame. At the desk inside, Artemis Fowl II was curled up in his father’s ornamented leather armchair, nose buried in a book. The boy’s ears perked up at the sound, but he didn’t look up from his reading.

“You weren’t at lunch,” Butler remarked, stepping inside.

“I apologize,” Artemis said, his young voice cold and clipped in a way Butler had never stopped thinking of as strange. “I was busy.”

You’re seven years old, Butler thought, setting the tray down on the mahogany desk. Busy?

“Your mother missed you,” he said instead, and Artemis lowered his book, eyes almost guilty.

“I promise that I will be at dinner.”

“You should eat,” Butler ordered, pushing the tea and toast closer to the boy. Artemis hesitated for a moment, but he finally obliged, taking a small bite out of the portion of the toast with the least amount of jam on it. Artemis chewed thoughtfully, setting the food back down on the plate and pointedly nudging it away. Butler pressed his lips into a thin line. Thank Christ that at least Juliet wasn’t a picky eater.

“May I ask you a question, Butler?”

“Always, Artemis.”

“Where does Father go when he leaves on business?” Artemis inquired, and Butler sighed. He moved the tray on the table, making room for him to rest his weight against the desk.

“He’s on a business trip, Artemis. He’s told you this.”

“Where does he go, though? He won’t tell me what his ‘business’ is.”

Butler shrugged. “Your father told me the same thing.”

Artemis looked at him shrewdly. “I don’t think I believe that, Butler.”

“That’s too bad,” Butler admitted. “Because that’s all I’m going to tell you.”

“You work for me, though,” Artemis argued, brow furrowed. “If you do know more, then you must tell me.”

Frowning, Butler leaned back. “I protect you. I work for your father.”

Sensing that he’d offended, Artemis tried to backpedal. “I… no one will tell me, Butler. Why? I simply want to know more about my father.”

His bodyguard considered Artemis' plea.

“I’m sorry if I seemed dismissive,” Artemis wheedled, prodding further. “I’m… I’m just curious.”

Despite being fully aware Artemis’ apology was motivated more so by ulterior motives than it was by genuine compunctions, Butler softened.

“I know you must miss him,” he relented.

Artemis perked up, sensing he’d succeed in wearing down Butler’s earlier decision.

Butler ignored the voice of Madam Ko in the back of his mind. He wondered if he could absolve himself for a brief moment of weakness surrounding his bodyguard principles.

Artemis was just a boy, Butler thought. And a smart one at that. He doubted that there was a child on earth that could be satisfied with simply artifacts from the outside world.

Reaching to ruffle his charge’s hair, Butler almost smiled at the way Artemis scrunched up his face.

“Why must you and Mother persist in doing that?” Artemis complained.

“Just another grown-up thing, I guess,” Butler ventured, humming good-naturedly when Artemis scoffed.

“What are you reading?” Butler asked after a moment, changing the subject. Artemis glanced back at his book, debating his next course of action. Finally, his excitement surrounding the book he’d been reading won out over his desire to continue pushing Butler regarding his father.

Artemis spun the novel around, allowing Butler to examine it properly. “It’s a collection of short stories by Kenzaburō Ōe. Right now I am on ‘Lavish Are the Dead’.”

Butler nodded, picking up the work and mentally filing the name away. He was nearly positive Artemis fell very short of the intended age demographic.

“What’s it about?”

Artemis’ eyes lit up. “The subject material varies, but the tone is similar between the stories. Ōe’s style is very derivative of French existentialists. I like him more than Sartre and Camus, however.”

“Camus wrote ‘The Stranger’, right?” Butler surmised, looking at Artemis for confirmation. “Read that book during university. I’ve never forgotten the way the author described the old man’s sickly dog. Poor animal,” Butler reproved, tsking.

Artemis nodded. “Yes, that was Camus. ‘Lavish Are the Dead’ is similarly macabre in the service of its philosophy.”

Butler thumbed to the first page of the short story to which Artemis referred. He narrowed his eyes, reading silently. Artemis continued on, unconscious of Butler’s increasingly deepening frown as the man scanned through gruesome paragraph after paragraph.

“I suppose it can be read in many ways. One view would be that it’s a meditation on the forgetting of the Pacific War, despite the violence’s profound impact on the cultural psyche. However, it could also be read as the submerged presence of the Korean War in Japanese society, memory, and culture. I’d argue both critiques come mainly from the perspective of the intellectual establishment, be it that it is both Ōe and the protagonist studied French literature at the University of Tokyo.”

“Artemis,” Butler said slowly, resisting the urge to rub his temples or to throw the offending text from the room. “This is about dead bodies being kept in the medical faculty of a university.”

His charge tilted his head, blinking owlishly. “On a literal, textual sense, I suppose so, yes.”

Butler made a face, putting the book down. “It’s not appropriate for you. It’s… too much. You’re too young to be reading something like this.”

“I asked Father. He’s the one who brought it back from Tokyo,” Artemis offered lightly.

Butler floundered, unsure.

To push the matter, Butler would have to either insinuate the Fowl patriarch was so absentminded as to not curate the reading material of his son or he would have to insinuate that the man had made an incorrect call in judgment. Either would be a challenge to Artemis Sr.’s authority. Either would be making a statement on which of the two had more of a say over Artemis’ behavior. An absentee father or a paid caretaker — Artemis was beginning to test the waters of which of the two men had more of a claim to be the male figure to whom he deferred, Butler realized.

Artemis watched Butler, waiting for a response.

“I see,” Butler noted, being careful to keep his tone even. Artemis’ eyes widened, a motion that would have been nearly imperceptible had Butler not been searching for a reaction on the boy’s face.

The surprise vanished from Artemis quickly, and his eyes narrowed. “Oh?”

Rising, Butler pushed the book back towards Artemis. “Yes. If he approved the book, then I am fine with it.”

“You have no further opinion on the matter?” Artemis pressed.

Butler shrugged. “I’m just your bodyguard. Is my private attitude towards the matter necessary?”

A completely bullshit statement.

Butler knew that.

Artemis knew that.

Hell, it was likely even Artemis Sr. knew that.

Butler blamed Artemis Sr., just a bit. Usually, the Fowls and Butlers were closer in age. As eerily as the young Fowl might present himself, it was hard to not feel parental twinges towards the boy when Butler’s primary duties as a bodyguard were mundane things — things like keeping Artemis from skinning his knees around the house or preparing meals for him and Juliet. The Major and Artemis Sr. were unambiguously boss and bodyguard, but Butler, who had to force himself to not subconsciously categorize both Artemis and Juliet as his kids, and Artemis, who knew his father as a visitor to the house instead of a permanent fixture? Their dynamic was undoubtedly more fraught, unspeakably more complicated to unpack.

But Butler couldn’t bring himself to give words to his failure. To do so would make it irreversible. It’d be the final nail in the coffin he’d fashioned for himself.

So he pushed the tea tray closer to Artemis, quietly getting up to leave.

Disappointed, Artemis moved to pick his book back up, returning to his previous activity.

Pausing in the doorway, Butler turned, faltering.

Artemis didn’t lower the book, but his eyes tracked Butler’s every movement like a hawk. “Yes?”

“Artemis,” Butler began, hand curling around the doorframe with uncharacteristic timidity. “Your father said he’d be home tonight. You can ask him about his trip at dinner.”

“...Will you be joining us?”

“No.”

“I see,” Artemis commented neutrally, fixing Butler with a pointed stare.

Ignoring the way his feelings stung, Butler let his hand fall from the door, turning away.

“Make sure that you eat your lunch, Artemis,” Butler said at last, weary.

“Mhm.”

Both the toast and the tea remained untouched.

#helllooooo terrible excerpt from my long form fanfic ive decided to just put here #artemis fowl #death mention cw #my writing

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cals-laundry · 3 years

Text

Dirty Laundry

“But what? But you have so you can't atone? But you have so you deserve nothing?” Sero asks, but Denki knows better than to answer. “In here, right now, you're Denki Kaminari, I'm Hanta Sero, and neither of us have ever made a mistake.” “You'll hate me when you do know.” “I don't care,” Sero pulls him closer, “I don't hate you now.”

NSFW - Minors dni please! Relationship: Denki Kaminari x Hanta Sero Words: 3,595 Tags: trans! Denki, vague mentions of cheating, light angst, self deprecation. AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31501247

Tonight wasn't supposed to go this way. Denki sips and grimaces before letting whatever vile liquid is allowed to pass for beer dribble back into the cliché red cup. Or is he grimacing because Shinsou is right there? He's happy to convince himself that it's the beer. It's the music. It's the lights. It's anything but the gaping, unhealing wound in his chest at the sight of Shinsou. He looks like he always does; bored. His hoodie is too big, his jeans, tattered, and his boots scuffed. He's leaning against a wall, either blissfully unaware or willfully ignorant of Denki, and Denki doesn't want to consider which it could be. He wonders now if he should have tried harder. His skinny jeans and sneakers are plain enough, but he's not even sure this big white t-shirt is his.

Before Shinsou can catch him, he weaves through the crowd and finds the closest group of friends he can, though on the way, he puts his solo cup on a random counter. The piss taste still in his mouth is enough to remind him not to drink tonight. By his friends, he can ignore everything. He can lean on Jirou, laugh when they do, maybe even actually talk to them. But at every glance around, Shinsou is in his line of sight, and every time, that wound in his chest wrenches open again, and months of memories, of pining, of “goodnights” will rush back. It's not Shinsou's fault; he didn't know he was flirting. At least, Denki thinks he doesn't know. In an effort to seem absorbed in the conversation, and not key them into his faraway mind, Denki stares at Midoriya as he recites some funny work story. He's absorbed enough that he doesn't notice a body beside him, not until he leans back against the wall as he laughs and it's too late.

“Hey.”

Denki swallows a stone.

“Hey,” he replies with a shaky smile.

“Can we...” Shinsou juts his head towards the kitchen. Denki's feet know better than his head that he'll follow this man anywhere. So he does. The kitchen is empty, bright, and best of all, quieter.

Shinsou leans against one counter, hands in his hoodie pocket, one ankle crossed over the other. Denki stands opposite, though without anything for fidgeting, he clings to the counter until his knuckles turn white.

“Are we good?” Shinsou asks, airy and light and perfectly fine.

“Yeah,” Denki replies, breathless. Had he forgotten how to breathe because of this?

“You've just been sorta quiet,” Shinsou shrugs, “I thought maybe I'd done something.”

What, was leading me on not enough?

“No way, man,” Denki smiles bright as a plastic doll, “we're cool.”

And Shinsou believes him.

For a minute, Denki wonders if he could confess. Or if maybe he could just forget it all and they could go back to “goodnights”. But that minute is ruined in a way only Midoriya can manage.

“Hey, guys!” he bobs into the room like he's just run a marathon.

His freckled cheeks are pink, and Denki would say something back, but Midoriya is looking at Shinsou in that way, that same way Denki looks at Shinsou. They share a small smile, one that tells him all he needs to know. When Midoriya takes Shinsou's hand, he really tries to be angry, but in the tiny look Midoriya sends his way, there's only a pleading not to do what Denki did with the last love of Midoriya's life. The two share quiet words with their noses touching and Denki's discomfort is surely obvious. So he does all he can do.

“Gotta pee.”

And he leaves. He runs. Because he's a coward now and he was a coward then and he was a coward then. He takes a shuddering breath and makes for the stairs. Up here, the music still bangs through his feet, but it's not as loud somehow. He glances at the choice of doors and opens one. Bedroom. The next; an office. The third, another bedroom, but- Laughter. Bright bubbling beautiful laughter that makes him freeze. A girl he sort of knows, Mina, and a shock of red hair he definitely knows are on the bed, all with folded legs and a black haired boy he doesn't know. Mina waves, but Kirishima's smile falters when he looks over. Nausea sinks into the pit of his stomach and he waves back at Mina before he steps back.

“Sorry, I was looking for the bathroom,” he squeaks, but Mina stands.

“Nope, me first!” and she runs past him, giggling and smelling of flowers.

The silence in her wake makes Denki's stomach churn further. Kirishima's clenched jaw doesn't help.

“I don't think I know you,” the black haired boy says, seemingly oblivious to the tension.

“M'Denki Kaminari,” he rushes out and the boy lounges onto one elbow

“Sero,” he says simply, but he studies Denki. And Denki knows because he can feel the honey slow dribble of his gaze on every part of him.

He tries to return it, but Denki's never been one for slow and sensual. Sero, however, oozes the idea. He's still laid on his elbow, and the front of his already low buttoned shirt came further apart with the movement. His pants are black and high waisted enough to show off his ankles. In short; he looks good. Denki's throat dries as he takes in the look, and Sero...Sero loves it. His head falls back a little, and his already wide smile widens somehow.

“I'm gonna go get a drink,” Kirishima's voice is devoid of emotion, and the shoulder check as he leaves says everything he does.

As he rubs his shoulder, nausea comes back.

“He's not a fan?” Sero's voice calls him out of his spiral.

“Heh, not really,” Denki laughs as if he doesn't know Sero would hate him too.

“C'mere,” Sero pats the bed beside him, “I don't bite.”

Denki sits on the edge of the bed, his side to Sero, and Sero regards him with another curious look.

“You've got secrets, huh?”

“I mean,” Denki snorts a laugh, a more genuine one, “doesn't everyone?”

Sero shrugs.

“Probably.”

“Don't you?”

“Probably,” he says again and shuffles himself so his chin is in his palm and his side is pressed into the bed fully, “does it matter?”

The bile of his own secret's rise in Denki's throat and he swallows it.

“If they're bad, maybe they shouldn't be secrets,” Denki swallows again, “if we're bad, if we've done awful things, shouldn't we warn people?”

“Are you going to do it again?”

“No.”

“You seem certain you won't make the same mistake,” Sero's head tilts, as if he knows something, as if he knows more about Denki.

“Once was enough,” Denki's voice is quiet.

“Here, you haven't made any,” Sero is brave. He trails his fingertips up Denki's arm like he's done it a million times.

“But-”

“But what? But you have so you can't atone? But you have so you deserve nothing?” Sero asks, but Denki knows better than to answer.

“In here, right now, you're Denki Kaminari, I'm Hanta Sero, and neither of us have ever made a mistake.”

“You'll hate me when you do know.”

“I don't care,” Sero pulls him closer, “I don't hate you now.”

“You will,” Denki gasps as his legs tangle with Sero's.

“Then let me enjoy you while I don't,” Sero kisses his neck first in soft lines that tickle. Each one steals Denki's breath a little more until he lets out a tiny moan. And that little moan reminds him of all the reasons he shouldn't be here.

He shouldn't be leaning on Sero. He shouldn't be enjoying himself. He shouldn't be-

“I can hear your brain over thinking it,” Sero mumbles before he presses another kiss to Denki's jaw.

“I shouldn't...”

“Is there someone waiting for you?” the words make Denki shudder.

“No,” it's one word but it shakes like a speech.

Sero pushes him but follows the motion, now hovering over Denki. The length of his hair is more obvious here as it hangs down past his cheeks.

“Then we're not breaking any rules,” Sero leans in close, maneuvers his hips so they're slotted between Denki's, and with his forearms against the bed at either side of Denki's head, brushes the blonde back from his forehead, “be mine for a while.”

Sero's lips are soft on his, and Denki's hands card through those silky tresses. It's innocent, really, but the bite in Sero's teeth when he nips at Denki's bottom lip, the slightest grip of his hair, the smallest roll of his hips, it turns it to something else, something lewd. And Denki loses himself in it. For the first time in 6 months, he's not thinking about anything; not his faults, his mistakes, his treachery. But the world around him is not so forgiving.

“Is Kaminari still-”

Kirishima's words die off, and the pair look toward him. His eyebrow raises and he snorts.

“Never takes long, does it?” the bite behind his words is venomous.

“Do you need him for something?” Sero asks, still chest to chest with Denki.

“No, I need to talk to you.”

Denki knows what that means.

“Wait for me outside,” Sero whispers before he pulls away and helps Denki sit up. He shuffles out the door, avoids Kirishima's gaze, and tries to swallow the self hatred when he hears Sero say: “So, what's up?”

That's enough. He walks through the house with his head down, prays for peace, but the moment of reprieve from his self-made torture was too much in the world's eyes.

“The fuck are you doing here?” the snarl in Bakugou's voice makes Denki jump but he just keeps walking, desperate to be away from the noise, the anger, the hate of it all. But Bakugou is only getting started.

“I asked you a question, dunceface,” Bakugou's arm lands across his vision and Denki ducks.

“What, you're still being a pussy about it? Should have fuckin' known,” Bakugou jolts back and suddenly is surrounded by friends who laugh, not at Bakugou, but at Denki. He should hold his tongue, he knows he should.

“It took two, Bakugou.”

Their laughter dies and Denki walks away before he can suffer the consequences of his loud mouth. Somewhere behind him, he hears the shuffle of Bakugou's boots and the hushed words of one of his friends; “he's not worth it.”

No. He's not. The night air is cold enough to sting his throat. It brings tears to his eyes, but they're cast aside with a wipe of his sleeve. He doesn't deserve to cry. He could go now. He could go to his own place, ignore Sero's offer, and instead, cry in bed. It would be better than this constant, sickening reminder.

“Ready?”

Sero's voice breaks him out of his pity party.

“For what?”

“We're going to my place, it's like five minutes away,” Sero shrugs, “we don't have to do anything you don't want to, and I promise, I'll get you a cab home. But I still want you to be mine for a little while longer.”

Sero's home is bright and very...green. The walls are pale and the decor natural and it suits him. Sero guides him through with a hand on his lower back, and it's only as the door opens that Denki realises where Sero is leading him.

“You can say “no” any time,” Sero says with a small kiss to Denki's shoulder. In the same breath, he lays on the low bed and holds a hand out to Denki to join him. Denki's mind races with what Kirishima could have admitted on his behalf as he takes Sero's hand.

Would he really be inviting him to bed if he knew? Sero pulls him down until they're tangled and rolls so they're side by side.

“Denki,” Sero breathes out, like he's discovered the name of a mystery song, a beautiful one that plagued him.

He kisses Denki again, softer this time, but without the background noise of the houseparty, his thoughts are so much harder to ignore. At the same time, Sero's curious hands are just as hard to ignore. The rough pads of his fingers tickle the skin of Denki's stomach and he laughs.

“Oh?” Sero smiles, “is that a real laugh?”

His fingers creep higher and now, the tickles are intentional. They shriek and laugh and wiggle around the bed together, until Denki pleads “no more” with tears on his cheeks. They fall beside each other, panting, and for the second time today, Denki's mind is empty. It's pleasant. With his eyes still on the ceiling, he reaches out, shy, as if he hadn't already tasted Sero's lips. He finds Sero's hand and from the corner of his eye, he sees the smile on Sero's face. He fixes his stare on the ceiling again and wills himself to stay here, like this, where it's safe and quiet. The bed moves beside him and Sero's chest presses to his shoulder. He sneaks an arm under Denki's head as his other hand lands on Denki's stomach. The mood shifts; the playfulness turns sultry and thick. Sero's hands are so busy; one toys with Denki's hair, the other dances over his stomach, well past his belly button. His lips press to Denki's ear and he nips at the lobe before he kisses his way down, a little lower, until their lips meet at the same moment his hand cups Denki's crotch. Out of shock and pleasure, Denki gasps, and his hips buck up against Sero's hand, but their kiss steals every sound. It takes a moment for Denki to realise how hard he's clinging to Sero's shirt, hard enough that he's stretching the fabric to the point of bumping it, but Sero says nothing, only traces circles that make Denki moan. Sero pulls back the barest inch.

“You're just the prettiest thing,” he murmurs as his fingers card through Denki's messy hair, “is that okay to say?”

Denki nods, terrified that his words have been stolen in favour of moans and pleas. Sero kisses his cheek as his fingertips press just a little harder and pure pleasure blossoms through Denki's abdomen. Sero kisses where he can, tugs his hair, bites marks that'll bloom by morning, and with every pass of his fingers, steals the breath right from him. He whines when Sero's touch leaves but he's soothed with a quiet “shh, it's just for a second,” as Sero undoes his jeans. With some wiggling and pushing, they're just low enough for Sero's middle finger to slip between Denki's folds.

“Wow,” he whispers – more to himself than to Denki – as he pulls his finger away. A string of glittering slick connects Sero's finger to Denki and if it didn't make Denki's mouth water, he'd die of embarrassment.

“Wow,” he mirrors instead.

Sero's nose against his cheek draws his attention and he turns back toward him. The kiss that meets him is harsh and sloppy as two fingers slip into Denki's cunt.

“M'gonna eat you out until you cry sometime,” Sero growls against his lips between kisses.

Sometime.

Sero is enjoying him. Sero doesn't hate him. And every vile emotion that was quelled by kisses crashes back into Denki's gut.

“Ser-”

“Hanta,” he says, breathless, “call me Hanta.”

“Hanta, you...didn't Kirishima tell you?”

Hanta's fingers slip from him and he stands from the bed. But he's not leaving; instead he pulls Denki's shoes off and tugs his jeans and underwear off the rest of the way.

“He didn't tell me anything because I didn't want to know,” he undoes his own jeans and pushes them down, slow enough that it aches.

“I don't care about what you've done,” he steps from the pool of his trousers and nudges Denki's legs wider with his knee, “I only care about what we do.”

Denki watches him with doe eyes, his lungs empty. Until Hanta captures him in another soft kiss.

“Everyone makes mistakes, Denki,” the tip of him presses to Denki's entrance.

“But here, you're a saint,” he presses in, eyes on Denki's.

“And fully intend to worship you,” his elbows rest at either side of Denki's head, they cage him but it's not claustrophobic. It's safe. It's warm and comfortable, and this moment – truly alone and utterly unhindered – is one Denki wants to repeat over and over, until it's all he knows, until his sins are forgotten and his mind is free of them. If Hanta, kind, wonderful, beautiful Hanta, can forgive him, surely he can forgive himself too? The steady rhythm of Hanta's hips and every praise he litters on Denki's skin are enough to make his mind go blank again. And instead of fighting it to confess, he lets his head roll back against the bed and he lets Hanta take him apart, piece by piece, thrust by thrust, until he knows nothing but pleasure. His moans are soft, cutesy almost, and Hanta tells him so.

“You get gruffer during sex, you know,” Denki giggles.

“Oh yeah?” he thrusts hard and Denki's giggles turn to a squeak, “how?”

“You're all growls and all that, before you were just so...restful. Now you're gripping the bedsheets so hard, they'll never sit right again,” Denki giggles again, but it's not genuine. Hanta chuckles, but it's a dark sound, and the tip of his nose tickles the skin of Denki's jaw and along his throat.

“Maybe I should be gripping that pretty throat of yours instead, hmm?” he rumbles and Denki whines.

“You want marks, pretty boy?” Hanta nips at the skin of Denki's throat, and the way his back arches, Hanta takes as a 'yes'. He sucks and bites and savours every piece of skin he can find, though he offers Denki no chance to return it. His whines are louder now and his nails dig into Hanta's shoulders, no doubt leaving marks of their own.

“You're squeezing me so much,” Hanta trails to a groan, “y'gonna cum on me, sunshine? Hmm?”

Denki nods frantically – he just needs that tiny push. And Hanta plays his body as if he's returning to an old passion and grinds his hips in a way that rubs Denki's clit just right. His toes curl and his back arches and he moans Hanta's name as he keeps pressing just where Denki needs until Denki's words die and he gasps for breath behind his arm. At that, Hanta kisses him again.

“I want to see that again,” he pants against Denki's lips, “I want to see that a million times, but God fucking damnit, you looked so good, I can't wait, I'm so close.”

Pretty fingers lace through Hanta's hair as Denki pulls him into another kiss.

“Please, please, please,” he repeats between kisses, “wanna see you cum, you're so good, you're perfect, please.”

It turns to nonsense, and Denki can't believe that it's his incoherent begging that has Hanta pulling out just in time to splash cum up the stomach of Denki's t-shirt with a whine of his name.

They stare at the puddle for a moment before Hanta laughs a little.

“Sorry, got a bit lost in it all,” stands from the bed to move off to Denki's side, and Denki follows on shaking knees.

“S'okay,” the bliss of the moment has passed. Denki can feel the dread of the eventual 'here's your cab fare' in the best case scenario, but as he reaches for his jeans, Hanta's head tilts.

“Do you sleep with jeans on?” he looks like a confused pup.

“No?”

“Then why are you getting them?”

“T-to leave.”

“You think I don't have intentions of having you for breakfast too?” he grabs Denki's waist and pulls him until the stain of cum before his eyes, “only if you want, that is. I'll give you actual breakfast too!”

He sounds like he's bargaining and Denki laughs. Really, this time.

“I-I don't want to get in the way or assume,” he says quietly with a kiss to Hanta's hair.

“Then let me be clear,” Hanta stands and pulls Denki's shirt up as he does, edges it higher and higher until he's free of it and casts it across the room somewhere, “get into bed with me,” he takes off his own shirt and presses it into Denki's hands, “and in the morning, I'll either make you breakfast, or make you breakfast. Or both.”

He kisses Denki's nose and skirts around him before disappearing out the door. The shirt in his hands is still warm. Denki sheds his binder over to where his jeans should be, and when he slips on the shirt, it smells like Hanta. Not like any cologne or specific scent, just him. He turns in the mirror and admires the way it dances over his thighs. It isn't until Hanta's hands land on his hips that he's taken from the moment.

“Looks good on you,” Hanta kisses the side of his neck and their eyes meet in the mirror.

The gaze is a hungry one first, but in those eyes, Denki can see understanding, kindness, and forgiveness. Hanta pulls him into bed, wraps an arm around him, and kisses the back of his neck for good measure. Hanta would know his secrets. But Denki doesn't doubt that he'll understand them. In the quiet snores, Denki finds himself comfortable and at peace for the first time in a while. All he can do is pray that it lasts.

#bnha #bnha fanfic #kaminari x denki #trans! denki #kamisero

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the-cat-at-the-theatre-door · 3 years

Text

Inspired by a conversation with @theimpossiblescheme, have some purely self indulgent demelonzostrap fluff with just a touch of Munkustrap angst.

Munkustrap crept carefully into his little den, conscious of the dreadfully late hour and the suffocating silence of the dark, cramped space. Another day nearly over with the next morning fast on its heels, mostly uneventful, seemingly gone so quickly that he'd hardly processed the hours ticking by at all. Why did it always seem as though there was never enough time? And hadn't he promised that he would have been sleeping by now? That he was going to, at least, be home at a reasonable time tonight?

So much for that.

The persistent twinge of exhaustion stung behind the tom's eyes, dry and burning, and was soon to settle itself into the usual headache. Unpleasant, but he was used to it. It always came about around this time - not much he could do. All he really needed, he mused, was to curl away and sleep for a day or two, but he stubbornly pushed the thought down, and instead pacified himself with the knowledge that an undisturbed few hours were better than nothing; that it was good enough. That was at least one thing of benefit in the wee hours of the morning - Munkustrap could hold the tentative hope that the world could turn without him. That no one expected anything of him until the sun rose. That he could trust his other protectors to pick up the slack he left behind.

Whether that was enough to get him to actually sleep was another story entirely. He was still getting used to the idea in practice, after all.

Munkustrap paused momentarily before the cloth separating his bed from the rest of the space. He willed for his mind to settle and calm a moment - "leaving his troubles at the door," as Jenny would say - before pushing through, taking another second to allow his eyes to adjust to the even dimmer light.

The first thing he noticed was Demeter curled on her side in the middle of the blanket, fast asleep. A moment more, and he could make out the lap her cheek was pressed against, attached to the profile of a very much awake Alonzo, sitting hunched above her. From the preliminary glance, the other tom looked to be deep in thought, staring off into space somewhere and absentmindedly petting Demeter's shoulder.

Speaking of things he was still getting used to. A wholly welcome thing, this one, but it still managed to catch him by surprise.

It was always a treat, Munkustrap thought briefly, to catch the two cats at their most relaxed, seeing how gentle Alonzo could be behind closed doors, how happily Demeter could sing to herself when she thought no one could hear her. How the two of them could just...exist beyond any pre-weighted notion of behaviour or assumption.

There was something very humbling about it.

When Munkustrap took a cautious step forward, letting the cloth fall behind him, Alonzo's ears and tail perked up, suddenly motionless and on full alert. When he sharply turned his head towards the other tom, there was a reflection of something…unfamiliar in his eyes. An instinct flared to life at the sight, Munkustrap feeling his stomach sink at having been "caught" (in his own den, no less). But before he crouched too far on the defense, feeling his fur bristle through no control of his own, he stopped to remind himself where he was and who was in front of him.

It felt like forever, but the tense stare-down was over in seconds. Munkustrap saw Alonzo's eyes flash with recognition and his posture immediately relaxed.

"Hey." Simple as it was, the greeting was low and warm, sending a soft tingle down Munkustrap's spine. "All through?"

The silver tabby hummed affirmatively. "Socrates took over. I decided to take one last loop around - thought I ran into something concerning, but I figured it out."

Alonzo continued to study his face in the low light, absorbing the information given, expression unreadable. Munkustrap resisted the urge to hold his breath as he was scrutinized.

"You smell weird," Alonzo finally murmured, lowering his tail. "Almost didn't recognize you. You been rolling around in the dirt?"

Munkustrap left the observation and not-quite-question (playful or serious he couldn't quite tell) alone, smoothing the fur on his neck back down. "What were you doing?" he whispered instead, mindful of Demeter's sleeping form as he sat across from them.

Alonzo glanced down at the queen. "She tried waiting up for you. You said you planned on coming back here tonight instead of the high-rise." Alonzo barely hid his look of distaste at the mention of Munkustrap's human home. It was no secret that the former alley cat didn't particularly like humans of any variety, even the nice ones with cats of their own, unless they were feeding them. And even then he gave them a wide berth, especially the young ones with their grabbing hands. Still, though, being involved with a housecat meant he'd had to start tolerating Emily at the very least. That was still very much a work in progress.

"I told her that you probably wouldn't be done until late," he continued, resuming the gentle petting of her shoulder. "And she knew, but she insisted. Didn't quite make it, and I wasn't about to wake her up."

"Oh," Munkustrap muttered, feeling a sudden confused warmth bloom to life in his belly, tampered very slightly by guilt. As if on queue, Demeter sighed - a soft, airy thing - and turned her head. The queen's profile was lit in the relief of slivers of moonlight leaking into the den, her whiskers twitching as she slept. She looked so young then, so unbothered, and so different from the usual heavy furrow of her brow. She had always been lovely, but there was something particularly remarkable about her right at that moment.

Munkustrap reached to gently touch her ears, but thought better of it and pulled his paw away. Alonzo was right - the last thing he wanted was to wake her from a much deserved sleep. Unsure of what to say, he looked back up at the patched tom, who was still studying him intently. "I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't…" Munkustrap flicked his gaze around, suddenly noticing an absence. "Where's Jemima?

"Ideally with Jenny and Jelly, and most likely also still awake," Alonzo calmly explained, as though he were reiterating a morning report. Munkustrap looked at him blankly. "Sleepover, remember? Etcetera practically knocked your wall in this morning."

Munkustrap nodded slowly, the memory of being so violently startled shifting to the forefront of his mind. Right. Now that he thought of it, he did vaguely remember the two queenkits looking up at him, wide eyed and pleading for his permission - and the round robin of having them ask Demeter, who told them to ask Jenny, who'd been unavailable, so they'd asked Jelly instead, who told them to ask him again, and so on and so forth. Poor things. But they hadn't seemed at all bothered. The two of them together were nothing if not determined.

Munkustrap felt another abrupt and inexplicable wave of guilt over such a small thing. He'd known all that, hadn't he? He'd been the one to give them permission. Had he really let that slip his mind? Been that distracted? Everlasting help him, the day had been blurrier than he thought.

"Don't worry," Alonzo whispered, as though he’d heard him. "She told us to: 'give daddy a hug when he comes home', because she missed you, and that she promises she'll be back tomorrow, in case you missed her."

Munkustrap sat back on his haunches, feeling a great big...something inside of himself. What had he ever done, he wondered distantly, to deserve such a little light as Jemima? He’d have to make good on that in the morning. Well, in the daylight anyhow. It was already morning.

"I'll let her give you her own hug," the other tom continued, yawning, tail twitching. "Don't think it'd mean the same thing coming from me. I'm just the messenger."

Munkustrap had to admit that the image he conjured up for that one was more than a little amusing. Still, though, his racing mind continued ticking away, processing and reprocessing. "So, if not for that, why are you still up? You should be sleeping, too."

At this, Alonzo finally fully smiled. It was a frail and distantly sleepy thing, so different from his usual cock-sure grin. "I was also waiting up for you."

"Oh," Munkustrap repeated, the noise dying halfway in his throat (Oh, how eloquent he really was when it came down to it). Were he a lesser cat, he would have started wringing his tail. Third strike and he was out. "Why?"

"Why?" Alonzo echoed, incredulous. "Why, he asks. Haven’t you been listening?"

Munkustrap blinked, feeling for a moment as though he were missing out on a joke. It wouldn’t have been the first time. The question had been a genuine one, and the reasoning genuinely confusing. Something wasn’t quite adding up, though the numbers were all clearly in front of him.

Alonzo’s smile faltered slightly, tilting his head. "You're really going to make me say it, huh?"

“Apparently.”

There was a moment, flashing so faintly in the dark that he could have convinced himself he’d seen things, that Alonzo’s expression turned to one of understanding and sympathy, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. His next statement was gentle and firm:

"Because I missed you, too."

Munkustrap finally looked down to his lap, staring at his paws and he struggled to get the sudden stinging behind his eyes under control. This time around, though, it had nothing to do with his exhaustion headache. How tired was he really, that something so simple was affecting him so strongly? Alonzo had said it so casually, as though it were an obvious thing that he should have known. Demeter had struggled to wait up for him, because it had seemed obvious for her to do so. Even Jemima had taken the time to let him know that she would miss him, in her flighty kittenish way. It was so much. Didn’t they deserve more than he was able to give them? Weren’t they aware of this?

“Hey, are you okay?” Alonzo sounded startled. “You look like you’re about to short circuit.”

He looked back up at him. What a surreal feeling it was, truly, to be missed. To be certain, if only for a moment, that his presence was wanted, when he had struggled so long with thinking it wasn’t. It was overwhelming. Hadn’t he spent all that time convincing himself that no one would ever want to wait up for him at night, or miss him in the mornings? That it would be too difficult to content themselves with marrying the weight of the responsibility he carried on his shoulders? That he would never want to put another cat through that? That he wasn’t truly worth a second look and could content himself with giving all the love he could, while taking none for himself?

How times had truly changed, and how quickly.

“I...I’m sorry. For making you wait up.”

Alonzo definitely looked sympathetic now, reaching to grab his shoulder. “You didn’t make us do anything, Munkustrap. I’m a grown-up and so is Demeter. I like to think we can be trusted to make our own decisions. Maybe her more than me.”

Munkustrap nodded, leaning his face so he felt the gentle brush of his paw against his whiskers.

“You really are tired, huh? Demeter’s going to give you an earful tomorrow.”

For the first time that evening, Munkustrap felt a genuine chuckle bubble up his throat.

"Come here." Alonzo pulled him insistently to the ground, leaving no room for protest. It took a moment of maneuvering at an awkward angle, but he managed to lay opposite Demeter, whose head had been carefully shifted from Alonzo’s lap to the blankets beneath her. Heart suddenly fuller than he thought possible, his headache near forgotten, he curled an arm around the queen, exhaling when she curved to meet him halfway, as though she’d been waiting for him the entire time.

Munkustrap looked up at Alonzo, still sitting, with the softest of halos in the moonlight. Funny, wasn’t it, how often he and Demeter matched in spite of how different they were. “What about you? Won't you be tired?”

Alonzo snorted, shrugging. “I've survived on less.”

“But -”

“Go to sleep, Munk,” Alonzo said firmly, touching the back of his paw to his temple. “I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

And perhaps, with Demeter curled against his belly and Alonzo’s shadow looming over them both, he would sleep well for his precious few hours, no matter how little time it seemed to be. Perhaps it was more than good enough.

Perhaps he was more than good enough.

#okay this is way longer than a drabble i lied #l i s t e n i am too soft for all of this #i am too soft for the all healing together trope - i can't deal #CATS Musical #demelonzostrap #fanfiction #my fanfic #my posts #i hope this structurally makes sense - i've rewritten it three times now #i also borrowed amie's emily <3

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immortalcoelacanth · 3 years

Text

Smile for Me Oneshot (Reader x Habit): Make Love, Not War

*crawls out of my writing slump*

I live, and bring forth new reader content! This was inspired big time by a fellow Smile for Me fan I met on Discord, so if you're reading this know that this goes out to you!

Word count: 2563

Summary: The last thing you wanted to do was fight Habit, but you had no choice! Unless…

Thinking back to what Kamal had warned you about when you had first expressed an interest in confronting Habit and his scheme, you were not too sure what to expect. You had assumed the towering man would immediately be hostile, that some sort of fight might break out, a fight of the verbal and mental sort rather than physical, and for you to use your wits to secure victory.

But, toothfully-

…

That gas Habit had hit you with was definitely making thinking significantly tougher than usual at the moment.

Truthfully, you had been hoping, praying, that you would be able to get out of this without hurting anyone, or being hurt in the process. Hoping that everything would go according to plan.

Of course, entering Habit’s office and getting gassed, being knocked out, and waking up restrained in some dentist’s chair was the furthest thing from the plan. Essentially being powerless as you were forced to listen to his rambling, only able to nod or shake your head was also something you had not planned for. To see him so… unhinged, to quote Kamal, and so menacing, it was…

Sad.

It made you sad to see him like this, especially with what you knew about his past. Those diary entries, and that slideshow-

The abuse.

You could see what Kamal meant. Habit’s soft spot, something that drove his horribly twisted need to “help” people, was fading. If you took too long or hesitated, it would be too late.

And you did not want to think about what too late would mean, and what you would have to do.

Once Habit left, you made your move and broke free, even though it meant using your teeth to get out.

You… you were going to repress this moment to the furthest corners of your mind, the sight of Habit looming above you in the gloom, the numbness that gave way to panic, fear, and sorrow. The tears that had bubbled up in the corners of your eyes.

It was a good thing you had dental insurance, too.

After acquiring the mirror and managing to hit the buttons in front of you, occasionally missing due to the lingering dizziness from the gas, the restraints popped open and you were free. From there, it took no time for you to get the door open and stumble out into the lobby-

Directly in front of Habit.

You honestly had no clue who was more surprised at your sudden appearance, you or him, but the shock you both experienced quickly wore off as a frown crossed Habit’s face.

“You… You Flower Brat!” He spat as he stepped towards you, his shadow engulfing you.

Why did he have to be so tall?!

Instinctively, you raised your hands and took a step back. Okay, okay, you had to do something. You had to get him to stop, to calm down, to snap him out of his angered state. Unconsciously, your gaze wandered over to the various signs plastered over the walls. You did still have that glove-

No, no! The last thing you wanted to do was resort to violence! You did not want to hit him!

Knock him onto the fragile, glass balcony behind him…

You shuddered in horror at the thought of such a horrible outcome.

Suddenly, an idea came to mind. Just before confronting Habit you had conversed with Jerafina in the Lounge, and gained a very special item in the process. An item that could definitely prove to be useful in this situation.

So, without warning, you jumped up and kissed Habit.

It was, thankfully, a gentle kiss. Your lips brushing against his jaw, the only point of his face you could reach even with your jump. You were just so short and he was so… so tall!

And bright red.

Indeed, the moment after you kissed him, a brilliant blush consumed his face, frown vanishing in an instant. He took a step back in shock, giving you some welcome space, due to the unexpected gesture.

You… you had kissed him. Not hurt him, insulted him, or done anything cruel to him.

No vengeance for all the cruel things he had done to you, said about you.

His mood immediately took a dive as he recalled all the hurt he must have caused you, as well as his employees, the people he was responsible for taking care of and helping. The Habiticians, too, must have been hurt by his actions. He took a step back and looked towards the ground, long fingers knitting together.

He couldn’t, wouldn’t, look you in the eyes.

He was too scared to see what he might find. Was that kiss the last of your compassion? Your empathy? Would you mock him? Hurt him much like his father had-

“Flower,” He began, voice shaky as beads of sweat began to roll down his face. “I… You want to stop fighting, yes?”

You quickly nodded your head, hopeful that you had managed to get your point across. All that was left now was to talk everything out and get Habit smiling again!

“I… see.” The dentist nodded. “Flower, I am… confuzzed. I do not know what to say-”

He cut himself off and let out a quiet, tired sigh. “Perhaps it... would be best if you left. I won’t bother you again.”

Oh, there was no way you would allow things to end like this. Habit was still sad, still hurting, and you refused to stop helping him until you managed to cheer him up. So, you strode over to him and quickly shook your head.

He would have to carry you out if he wanted you to leave.

Habit looked exasperated by your refusal and quickly pointed at the open door that led to the lobby. “Out-”

Deciding to take advantage of the gesture, you quickly reached out and tugged on his arm, still shaking your head. He did not move, you were far too weak to actually pull him around, but hopefully it was enough to help him understand that you wanted to talk. Slowly but surely, you managed to navigate Habit towards the ground where you both sat down beside one another. He still looked confused, but at least he had stopped trying to kick you out.

From your spot on the ground, you carefully pulled on Habit’s arm once more, encouraging him to slowly lay down, his head resting in your lap, his hat falling off in the process, not that he seemed to care about it at the moment. His hair was so soft, so fluffy, but you managed to wrangle your urge to run your fingers through it. He looked up at you in confusion, and you smiled warmly at him while tilting your head to the side.

A compassionate smile that you hoped conveyed the words you wish you could say, but knew he would never understand.

It’s okay, you’re safe with me, I promise.

I won’t hurt you.

You can talk to me.

It was as if a dam broke the moment he saw your smile. Words rushed out of Habit almost faster than you could comprehend, but you were able to keep up. Stories about his childhood, his family, and his pain. The coherency of his speaking fluctuated, and there were times where he started speaking in Russian before switching back to English, but your attention never faltered.

You nodded, and expressed concern, and occasionally pat the top of his head to help him calm down.

“Thank you, Flower. It’s nice two be able too talk.” Habit mumbled as he looked up at you. It was obvious he was doing better than before, more stable and calm, but he still was not happy.

You pouted in annoyance as you tried to figure out a way to cheer him up. You knew you were getting close to what he needed, the conversation had definitely helped, but you just needed a bit more oomph!

Unfortunately for you, you were unaware of Habit’s amusement towards the endearing and adorable expression on your face. He had never seen such a look before, and it made that smile on his face grow just the slightest bit larger.

“Flower cutie…”

Immediately a blush took over as you looked off to the side at the compliment. This was unfair! He couldn’t call you that, especially with that almost-smile on his face! He was the one who was adorable, not you!

Instinctively, flowers started to sprout out of the top of your head, as they always tended to when you were very happy, embarrassed, or startled. Several daisies popped up, petals unfolding and swaying in the momentary breeze. Habit chuckled at your reaction, causing the last flower to bloom.

Pop!

It resembled a typical lily, although there were some differences. The petals held more of an orange and yellow hue, and seemed to smell nicer than the rest of the flowers. The scent was not overpowering, but it was calming, and while you were unaware of the significance of this new flower, Habit was not.

He sat upright in surprise, oblivious to you jolting backwards and nearly falling over. By the time you managed to resettle yourself he had turned so he was facing towards you, a hand stretched out in your direction. His eyes were focused not on you, but on the flower sprouting from the top of your head.

His Lily...

You were quick to let out a cough, snapping him out of his dazed state. He blinked a couple times before looking down at you, clearly trying to figure out what to say. You looked up, tilting your head to the side and causing the flower to sway in the process.

Flower… flower… oh, that’s right!

You held your hands up, before quickly rummaging around in your bouquet. With all the chaos, interactions, and people you needed to help you had completely forgotten about planting the Erythronium seed Millie had given you. It was tooth shaped, which made it seem like the seed had a connection to Habit, especially since Millie had found it in the Habitat. Upon locating the item, you grinned victoriously and held it up for Habit to see.

His jaw dropped, unintentionally exposing far more teeth than you wanted to see. You suppressed your winced and quickly thrust the item in his direction, your intentions clear.

Take it.

As though he were handling glass, Habit carefully accepted the seed and looked it over, a gentle, genuine smile crossing his face.

He looked so cute!!!

“Do you kno what this is?” Habit asked. You shook your head and tilted it to the side to show your interest, and the dentist was quick to answer your unspoken question.

An explanation about the Tooth Lily, the importance of the flower, and how challenging it could be to grow it. It dawned on you that perhaps the reason why the Tooth Lily had bloomed atop your head now had to deal with that kiss you and Habit had shared…

Something that you wanted to do again.

You blushed once more and looked off to the side, quietly frustrated with how emotional you were being at the moment. You were just so… so flustered! The fact that Habit was so cute, and warm, and how safe you would feel if he wrapped his arms around you-

Pop! Pop! Pop!

As more flowers bloomed, you hid your face in your hands to hide from your shame. You were faintly aware of Habit shifting so he was sitting a bit closer to you, that bubblegum smell growing stronger. Curious as to what he was doing, you looked up-

Just in time for Habit to plant a kiss on your forehead.

Immediately, another Tooth Lily bloomed and you swore you were going to pass out with all the blood rushing to your face. However, before you could respond and attempt to get back your dignity, the sound of the door to the lobby opening caught both your attention.

Kamal had, apparently, decided to check up on you, probably since you had been with Habit for so long and to make sure nothing bad happened. You appreciated the compassionate gesture, even if it did nothing but make you feel more flustered.

It seemed as though he was just as flustered as you were, a blush appearing on his face as he started to sweat. Habit was silent, appearing to be completely stunned by the appearance of his ex assistant.

“Erm, uh,” Kamal stuttered as he retreated back to the lobby. “I’ll just be waiting out here for you guys! T-Take your time!”

As Kamal vanished from sight, kicking up a trail of dust in his wake, Habit let out a distressed noise and reached towards him, as if trying to get him to come back. Of course, by the time he moved it was far too late for Kamal to have noticed his gesture. Like a wilting flower, Habit visibly drooped in disappointment and sorrow. Concerned, you reached out and took hold of one of his hands, rubbing slow, gentle circles into the back of it.

“... I hurt so many people.” He said after a couple moments of silence, sounding completely worn down and exhausted. “Kamal, Wallus…”

He nervously picked at his sleeve with his free hand, his anxiety growing. Would any good come from him apologizing? Kamal had to hate him at this point, and even if you seemed to be alright with him, the kissing certainly helped to soothe those fears, who knew if the same could be said for everyone else?

You frowned to yourself. He was starting to spiral again, losing that light you had seen in his eyes. Apologies were definitely going to be awkward, but they needed to happen, for the sake of Habit and those he had hurt.

You pushed yourself up so you were standing in front of him and held out a hand. He appeared confused for a moment before slowly placing his hand in yours. Rather than pulling him up like he expected you would, you turned his hand over, palm facing up, and slowly traced letters into it.

Letters that formed words.

Words that made a sentence.

I’ll help you.

His eyes went wide as he looked up at you, stunned at the offer. You were quick to trace out more words, internally agonizing over how long the process was taking. Perhaps when you got out of here you could encourage Habit and the others to learn a bit of sign language since nodding and shaking your head only went so far.

Or at least carry a notebook around to write in.

Everyone deserves to be happy, and that includes you. You might not be able to fix everything you did, but apologizing is a good place to start.

You gestured for him to stand up as well and then pointed towards the lobby. Kamal had been hurt the worst out of everyone and was the most deserving of an apology, so he would be the best person to start with.

As Habit stood up to join you, you leaned forward and pressed one last kiss against his cheek, your touch spelling out one final sentence.

I believe in you.

And in the end your belief, your support, was what Habit needed most.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I, like the reader, am an immense simp for Habit hugs, but then again I just crave hugs in general XD

I hope you all enjoyed reading!

- ImmortalCoelacanth

#my story #fanfiction #smile for me #sfm #second person pov #reader as flower kid #boris habit #habit x reader #fluff #kisses #reader didn't grow the Tooth Lily so an alternate route is taken

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astrodances · 3 years

Link

One last update before the finale (and then, hopefully, many more after).

-------

Ad Astra Per Tenebras

It's just past two a.m. when the pitter-patter of tiny webbed feet enter the hallways of McDuck Manor. Their owner isn't much older than the time on the clock–only a difference of three years or so. She's been able to count that high and then some for quite some time now. These days, she's learning how to do so in French and Russian.

But there's no counting tonight, none that she would care to do, anyway.

There's only rain and wind battering harshly against the walls of the mansion, punctuated every so often by extreme gusts that howl through the halls like the shriek of a demon. And with the structure perched high on Killmotor Hill, there's no light pollution shining up on the underbellies of the clouds from Duckburg below.

It's just terribly violent weather and, to little Webby's dismay, complete darkness.

She doesn't like it.

To her, darkness makes the mansion seem twice as big and four times as lonely. An easy feat, considering that only three of them live there. If she had a sibling close to her age, or a friend, maybe it wouldn't seem so bad. Maybe they could be afraid of the dark together.

But since such a companion isn't just going to show up on their doorstep tomorrow, she'll take the option available to her: her granny.

Bentina's room is just around the corner and down at the other end of the hall on the right, closer to the main landing and foyer so she can serve as the first line of defense against a home invasion. Yet even with such a short distance to traverse, Webby clutches a flashlight in one hand and the edges of her favorite blanket wrapped around her shoulders and neck in the other, the excess trailing along the ground behind her.

With every gust, she's hitching the blanket further up to cover her head from the darkness behind her. Every passing doorway and branching hallway, and she's waving her flashlight around to check every last corner. For what? Webby's not sure.

It's not a fear of monsters. She's done enough research on Mr. McDuck already to know that monsters are a normal and often-expected part of adventure, and that's what she wants to do when she grows up. See the world! Be an explorer!

Monsters, in her eyes, are cool, and one day, she'll get to meet and/or fight some.

But...from what she has gathered, Mr. McDuck always had a partner or a team with him on his adventures, someone to watch his back when the monsters jumped out at him.

...She doesn't have that. Not now, or in her vision of her future.

It's just her, alone in the dark. No one to face the unknown with standing by her side, or to fend off a monster attack, should one occur.

It's this train of thought that preoccupies Webby when her flashlight catches on a bright patch of red where rustling leaves should be dancing out the window at the end of another hallway. The patch moves, startling Webby into dropping her flashlight with a tiny shriek.

This is it, she thinks, retreating ever further into the useless defense of her blanket, resigned to a lonely defeat. This is how it all ends.

"Webbigail?"

A second passes, and Webby's senses rush back to her, crowding out her previous worries, but not by much. It's not a monster, but a paradox.

Scrooge stands in front of the window, the call of her name hanging between them laced with fatigue and a bite of annoyance. The light from the ground catches the underside of his features in a looming glow, making him out to be every bit the legend Webby has come to see him as (even in his robe), yet just as much the stranger in her house she knows him to be. Both angles do little to quell her heartbeat. She fumbles to bunch up her blanket further around her shoulders and gather her flashlight, making sure to point it and her own gaze away from his eyes.

"S-Sorry, Mr. McDuck," she trembles. "I was just going to Granny's room."

"Very well." He nods once, content enough with her reasoning.

The two words serve as some sort of unneeded permission for Webby to continue on to her destination, but she falters when she sees Scrooge return to staring out the window, into the nothingness that had her running from her own room. Granny always told her to never bother him, that he would come to her first if he needed something, but...even without any words, Webby knows what someone who needs a friend looks like.

She slinks up next to Scrooge's right, bravely turning off her flashlight and hiding it underneath her blanket. Without it, the shadows of the hallway seem to want to gobble her up, but standing next to Mr. McDuck, she knows that nothing can hurt her.

A few more silent, awkward seconds crawl by, until Scrooge clears his throat and asks, "Is something wrong?"

Webby's quick to blurt out, "No!"

Don't bother him.

"I mean..." She averts her eyes again, doing her best to silence the voice in her head. She doesn't want to bother him, not with this. But she also doesn't want to lie, and he did ask, and he doesn't look busy... "I-I'm just...afraid of the dark."

She dares to peek up at him, only to find him giving a half-hearted chuckle and telling himself more than her, "Ol' Twenty-Two's bairn, afraid of something?"

"Mr. McDuck?"

Scrooge shakes it off and regards her, tiny and vulnerable, barely reaching his waist. Webby can't see the memories playing behind his scrutiny, the struggle to maintain composure after an already restless, haunting night, so it comes as a surprise when he gives into a sigh and settles a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I understand," he says.

"You do?" A part of Webby is still shocked that he showed her even a small sign of affection, let alone let her stick around, while the rest is even more shocked that her hero might have fears of his own. "Are you afraid of the dark, too?"

"Not the dark, lass," he whispers, looking out the window at the wrath of the storm with a grimace. "Not the dark."

Before Webby can fully look outside like Scrooge, he's already turning back to her and kneeling down on one knee, taking hold of both her shoulders in a manner similar to that of her granny's, and it shocks her even more. Gone is the serious businessman, the shadow of a legend, instead replaced by a reassuring, compassionate smile and a sense of protection and wisdom.

"Lass, ye have nothing to fear" Scrooge shares.

He doesn't ask her why, doesn't intrude, and yet Webby feels like he knows all the same. Maybe, she thinks, maybe darkness is a monster he's already faced and defeated. Instead, he guides her in a little closer, as if to share a secret.

"Even on a night like tonight, you're never truly in the dark." He glances out the window again, this time towards the sky as if he can see past the clouds. "We have the stars, and storm or not, they'll always be there, waiting, to light the way for us. If you watch out for them, they'll watch over you."

Webby absorbs every word, looking at him as if he's giving her the answers to life itself, before a question prickles at her mind. "But what about when there are clouds and I can't see them?"

"Then that's a sign to seek out shelter until you can see each other again," he replies easily, and the researcher part of Webby doesn't let it slip her notice that he just essentially gave her some adventuring advice. With some effort, Scrooge is back on his feet and looking back down at her. "Come on, let's get ye to your grandmother's room."

It takes about two doors into the next hallway for Webby to realize that either she or Mr. McDuck has latched onto the other's hand for the walk, and the action leaves her feeling warm and fuzzy, her earlier fears very much banished for now. When they get to her granny's door, she reaches for the doorknob, but before she can turn it, she glances up towards Scrooge one last time.

"Mr. McDuck," she begins, whispering, and he looks at her expectantly. "Thank you. And I hope the stars watch over you, too."

For the second time that night, Scrooge smiles, this one genuine and grateful. "Thank you...Webby." The name sounds foreign on his tongue, but she beams nevertheless. "Good night, and sleep well."

"Good night, Mr. McDuck." She dares to squeeze his hand, and when he squeezes back, she gazes up at him in awe. With a wink, he ushers her towards the door, then retreats back down the hallway to his own affairs.

As she watches him go, Webby vows to keep the stars close to light the way, for her and for them all.

#DuckTales #Webby Vanderquack #Scrooge McDuck #my fanfics

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blissfulalchemist · 3 years

Note

Hope you don't mind me sending one of these: Catlina - “you remembered?”

Hello there! I do not mind in the slightest! I'm sorry this took a while, but I have it finished for you! I do hope you enjoy though!

She still has about ten minutes before the meal is fully prepared and she’ll wait for another three hours in hopes that Liz will come. She has to come home at some point, Cat thinks leaning against the countertop folding her arms, It’s been almost two weeks. She lets out a slow breath, relaxing her body briefly, the shrill of the doorbell tensing her once more. Her eyes slide slowly towards the front door catching sight of the sleek black car parked in front of her house, Should I really be surprised at this point? She pushes herself off slowly making her way to the front door, pulling the cardigan closer, a soft knock out of time to her walk.

Cat pulls the door open, the first thing she sees are John’s blue eyes darkened by the night. He smiles as she leans against the door, meeting him with a small smile, “Little late for missionary work don’t you think?”

John gives a small shake of his head, “Hilarious,” one of his hands holds a reusable shopping bag as the other gestures inside, “May I come in?”

She stiffened, heart picking up speed, “She might come back John,” Cat glanced back at the stove avoiding his gaze, at least nothing looked to be burning, “She won’t want to see you.”

His smile falters for a split second, “Well I’ll leave if she does show up,” Cat bites her lip, casting her eyes downward, “I just came to see you.”

She perks her head up, giving a small tilt, “You came to see me?” He nods, “Why?”

He shrugs, “Does there have to be a reason,” he asks, face not matching the apathy in his tone, “I figured you could use some company.”

She lets out a sigh, turning away back to the kitchen, “You better keep your promise of leaving if she shows up, John.” Cat leaves the door open, John following behind quickly watching as she moves about the small kitchen. He gives a smirk as he notes her familiar dinner pattern of having a meat, something heavy in carbs, and a vegetable to form a complete meal, he can only assume there’s some kind of dessert lying in wait in the refrigerator.

He takes a seat at the round table, glancing around the room setting the bag on the floor next to him, “I’m surprised you didn’t find a house with a bigger kitchen my Catlina.”

“I didn’t need one,” she replies matter of factly, “Liz and I weren’t getting a lot of visitors so what was the point?”

“Because you could,” she still doesn’t face him head on, which is fine with him as he gets an opportunity to look at his ex-wife for more than just a few rushed minutes, taking in the new details about her. The way the grey in her hair shined through under the lights, how she moves about with more confidence than when he first saw her getting up from that bed seventeen years ago, and the sliver of art peeking out from beneath her shirt on her back making it easy to miss the scarred ends of sin if you didn’t already know of their location. “I made sure you’d have more than enough to get a nice place,” he muses, moving to stand.

Cat brings down the plates, three of them, with a huff, “I thought I made it clear I didn’t like using your money.” Her movements are sharp and short as she puts food on it, gripping the utensils with white knuckles.

“You did,” he sits himself back down as she walks over to him with a plate, “I just wanted to take care of you is all. You and Liz.” Cat gives a small eye roll, working to set the plate down gently rather than drop it like she wishes she could, it's part of her favorite set though.

Her jaw tightens moving to make her own plate, “I don’t need someone to take care of us. I managed just fine.” It’s a lie, his money came in handy when she kept moving hoping for a fresh start for Liz and then again when Cat had a breakdown the week Joseph became a fugitive. She never wants to tell him this though, doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction or the power over her.

“You were the one that asked me for money though,” she splays her hands on the counter, nails digging into the faux granite, “So it seems like you did need me.”

“Only because I was at the last of my options,” she says through gritted teeth, “I set aside my pride for Liz because she needed a place that was safe and as free as one could be with her,” Cat paused, turning to look John up and down trying to hold back the sneer, “genetics. Ones that no one lets her forget once they know.”

His eyes narrow, a hand running through his hair, teeth grinding, “I am aware of her life and how it’s been Catlina, there’s no need to remind me.”

“Never hurts to do so with you.”

John inhales deeply, closing his eyes, “There’s no need to bring this argument up once again, don’t you agree?”

She glares at him a moment more before nodding, finally allowing herself to sit down across from him. Her shoulders fall with an exhale as she settles herself, eyes casting downward, replying softly, “I don’t really feel like arguing with you tonight anyway.”

John lets the quiet loom, waiting for her to take the first bite before making any movement of his own. He shouldn’t have been surprised by how quickly the accusations started with her, her anger did always have its way of festering beneath the surface and John had always been the one that could draw it out. Little by little until it all flooded out and she was no longer the same person he had grown to love and care for. John smirks to himself at the memories of their first few weeks together, “Do you remember those first few weeks and we did nothing but fight all the time?” She glances up at him, “Sorry. When we did nothing but argue.”

“We didn’t fight all the time,” Cat mumbles, pushing the food around on her plate. “I didn’t really like talking to you, I remember that.”

John laughs, “You and I still talked quite a bit,” his teasing tone getting an eye roll from Cat, “and it always seemed to end with you stating an opinion that I didn’t agree with.”

“You know I wasn’t the only one giving opinions,” a smile teases at the corner of her lips, pointing the fork at him, “You baited me into those arguments. Tested my patience.”

“Not like it was hard to do, especially then.” John smiles resting his chin on his hand, “We were so different you and I, like oil and vinegar,” Cat snorts, giving a small shae of her head, “Pretty sure my brothers still wonder how we managed to actually end up falling for each other.”

Cat stiffens at the notion, swallowing the bite in her mouth, “There are people that believe they know how we managed that.” The memories of when she would call out to him in the months following her return to society and the calm responses of the doctors telling her that it was all made up, some side effect of whatever they drugged her with echo on the edge of her hearing. She swallows the memories back, “We did seem to meet up in some kind of middle, I’ll admit, even if it was brief.” Cat can’t even fake a smile as she casts her gaze down, no longer focusing on the plate in front of her. John slides the chair closer to her, reaching out to place his hand gently on hers.

He gives a small smile when she looks up at him, “There’s still time. We can always pick up where we left off,” Cat’s stomach flips, her chest pulling towards him while everything else backs away. He can’t be serious. He knows why we can’t, “After all, we do have a child together, so I doubt we’ll ever fully be out of each other’s life.”

“John,” she warns, looking up, “we’ve talked about this.”

“I’ll be good, don’t worry,” he says softly, “Just hard not to think about, on today of all days.”

Cat frowns, “What do you mean ‘today of all days’?”

He gives a genuine smile, something she forgot he could do, “It’s the day this all started.”

“You remembered,” she gives John a pointed look, arching a brow, “the exact day I finally woke up after the accident?”

“I could tell you the exact date if you’d like but it seems a little irrelevant considering that day passed.”

She opened her mouth ready to argue, closing it as she glanced at the digital clock on the wall the date spelled out for her. “Our wedding,” she whispered, eyes moving slowly to look back at John slowly, unease threatening to climb her spine, “That was today wasn’t it?”

He nods, giving a small hum, “Married seventeen years today.”

“I think illegally in the eyes of the law, technically, but that’s more your department,” Cat looks down to the bag still at his feet, “Is that why you brought that stuff?”

John gives a nonchalant shrug, “Kind of seems silly now, don’t you think? Especially since I was the only one of us to remember,” he laughs softly trying to keep the mood light.

“I used to remember it,” she admits pushing some of the food on her plate, “Used to fixate on that date to a point I’d get upset when it wasn’t.” Cat lets out a slow breath, “Used to convince myself that you would finally come back, would whisk me away from that place and we’d live out our lives happily, because surely my husband, who loved me so deeply and obsessively, wouldn’t just abandon me on our anniversary.”

“Ah,” he hunches, leaning his elbows on the table, “I see.”

“Eventually days started to blur and I worked to actively not think about Montana. Honestly it became too painful to do so and I had Liz to focus on.” She shook her head, “So I’m sorry, I-well I needed to forget that date. Forget the significance of today.”

“I understand,” John attempts a smile that falls quickly, “The first one didn’t go so well for me either. I lost your ring….,” he sighs, “O well the dep-Chance stole it from me. Probably should have taken that as a sign looking back at it all.”

They let the silence fall, each taking small bites finding nothing either could do to lift the disappointment. Cat paused peering closer to the contents John had brought with him, the only thing she could identify with certainty being a bottle of wine. It’s just one night. It doesn’t have to mean anything long term, She bit the inside of her lip, It doesn’t even have to go beyond talking. She swallowed, inhaling deeply, standing to make her way to the cabinets, John watching curiously.

She pulled down two goblets, one a smokey black and the other a deep red, giving them a quick rinse and drying them off before walking back to the table. “Now don’t read too much into this,” she started going back for the wine opener, “but given we were both sort of on good terms with the other at the time of our first anniversary I say that we let ourselves celebrate it late.”

John smirked, arching a brow, “Do you really think that’s a good idea, my Catlina ,” he asked, pulling out the bottle from the bag, taking the opener from her.

“I think it’s the nice and right thing to do,” she smiled giving a shrug, “Besides it might help us get some closure on us.”

He pulled the cork out with ease, eyes widening, watching as she poured their glasses. There was little hesitation to her words, something that he once again should have seen coming, still it did little to ease the sting, “Yeah, it could,” he agreed reluctantly, “We both can use the closure.”

She threw him a smile, going to the fridge once more putting away the remaining dinner, John took a glance at the small purple wrapped box he pulled from his pocket as she announced her idea of celebrating. He took a deep breath sliding it back into place, opting to pull out the small container of chocolate covered fruit before Cat had turned back to him fully, his smile on to its full charm once more. He could let himself enjoy these few hours, let himself believe that there was a chance for them once more. John held up his glass once she sat down, “To celebrating our first and only year of marriage,” Cat laughed, tapping her glass against his before they took their first drink of the night. One night. She could let herself indulge in the fantasy she once, still, craved for just this one night. It didn’t have to mean anything more.

#x: tribulation #salvations two paths #catlina rojas oc #I'll put a banner later cause I can't find what I like at the current moment but I hope you enjoy it still!#getting some post salvations catjohn was interesting to say the least in getting that relationship right

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americasmarauders · 4 years

Text

Wasteland, baby!--Ben Hargreeves (part 2).

author’s note: here is part 2.

Beware: lot of feelings ahead

words: 3315

masterlist

part 1

part 3

part 4

Klaus started to pester Ben about Y/N.

He wanted to know everything. And Ben didn’t want to share. Y/N was just his, and he had enough of sharing everything with his siblings. He dodged somewhat successfully his advances.

That didn’t mean Klaus stopped asking.

At some point, Ben would relent to his advances, he would say something. Not because his brother had annoyed him enough, but the feeling growing in his chest was getting too unbearable to carry by himself.

Every time he woke up, she was there smiling at him. Ben would waste a few seconds just staring at the photo, memorizing every single detail about it. Then he would proceed with his routine, climbing down the window, a watch programmed to alarm him 5 minutes before breakfast time. He had followed Klaus’ advice after all, and unfortunately that meant cutting their conversation 5 minutes short. It made his heart bleed a little but if he wanted to stay out of trouble, he had to do it.

That day he was clutching the book she had lent him. He had treasured it as much as he could, Ben took his time reading it, hoping time would stretch as held a token of how much Y/N cared about him. She shared a book with him. She had opened a window to her thoughts and to her heart. Those words meant something to her, so much she wanted to share it with him. That was something Ben didn’t take lightly.

She was already there, as always. She smiled brightly at him, those smiles that reached the eyes and that made Ben’s heart beat stronger in his chest. He smiled back, crossing the street quickly. His breath got caught up on his chest at the sight of her in the morning light. It never ceased to amaze him. He hoped it never would.

“You finished the book!” she said enthusiastically to Ben. He looked down at the book he was holding, the title staring back at him.

“Yeah, I did. I’m sorry it took so long,” he went to give the book to her and she stopped him.

“No, no,” she shook her head, “it’s yours.”

“I can’t accept this,” Ben said politely. “I can tell it means a lot to you.”

“You mean a lot to me, too. And I would like for you to have this copy,” she responded. “Besides, I have another one at home. It’s my mom’s but I don’t think she will mind if I steal it.”

Ben almost felt the need to cry at her kindness and love. “Thank you,” he told her. It felt like he had a permanent window to her heart now. It wouldn’t be taken away from him and he would make sure no one would ever take it from him.

“You’re welcome, Ben,” she smiled once again. Her eyes trailed to the window of his bedroom, a boy staring at them.

Her smile faltered and Ben noticed, and tinge of panic rising in him. His eyes followed her line of sight, falling on his bedroom window. He saw Klaus, his face serious, and Ben reached for his watch in his pocket. They were nowhere near the breakfast hour. He looked over at Y/N, her face serious and scared at the sight of his brother on Ben’s window.

“I think you need to go,” she said sadly.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I don’t want—”

“I’m sure whatever your family needs it’s more important right now,” she tried to smile, but Ben saw she was covering her pain.

“It will never be more important than you,” Ben muttered.

She smiled genuinely, but it was nowhere near the smiles she gave him when she was happy. “You’re cute, but right now is not the time. Later, okay?” she squeezed his hand firmly. “Go,” Y/N released his hand and nudged him towards his house.

He didn’t look back and sprinted towards his window. He never climbed so fast. Klaus helped him up, but instead of sarcastic and annoying remarks about Ben’s ‘friendship’, he was met with Klaus wearing his uniform for missions.

It took Ben a second to register that there was running in the hall and there was the dreadful alarm ringing through the walls. He put the book on his night stand, loosening the tie and heading for his drawer when Klaus sneakily left his room.

He threw his clothes on his bed, jumping to fit in the weird uniform his Father had made for the Academy. Ben closed the zipper and put his shoes, his mask in his hand. He sprinted down stairs, behind his siblings. He clumsily put his mask on, as he heard his Father howling about how the Umbrella Academy would be discredited if they were late for missions, etc. The same boring speech he had to listen every week or so. He had it memorized by now.

He entered the car, squeezed between Klaus and the door. His Father accelerated and took off, Vanya waving shyly at them. Ben waved back, a sad smile on his face. His eyes drifted away from his sister to the corner of the street and there she was. Y/N.

She looked sad, and Ben’s heart twinged painfully at the thought he had caused it. He couldn’t even wave or smile at her, his Father racing by their spot like they were losing a race. Ben trailed his eyes forward to the back of his Luther’s head. Klaus nudged him on the side and he heard a whispered ‘Are you alright?’, in moment of lapse, Ben was sure.

In response, Ben only nodded.

Diego wandered after they got home. His siblings all scattered after the mission.

Klaus was most definitely getting high, Diego thought. What a bastard. Luther was sucking it up to his Father or in his room doing whatever he did that Diego couldn’t be bothered to care. Allison was somewhere, he guessed. He could listen to Vanya playing violin in that shoebox of a room. It was nice to have a background noise in that ghostly house.

Diego lingered in front of Ben’s room, the door slightly opened. Out of all his brothers, Ben was the best. He was the kindest and smartest. He seemed so pure, and even though Diego had absolute certainty dad’s words and neglect had its effect on his brother, he was the most well balanced—or so it seemed—of the 7 of them. Ben was the one who would make it when this super hero play thing was over.

Snooping wouldn’t be so bad, right? It wouldn’t, for sure Ben had once snooped on his things.

Diego opened the door fully. He stepped in and left the door opened.

There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary at first sight. Ben had a couple of books on top of his tiny, tiny table. His notes neatly organized, beside it his stationary. Diego kept glancing over his things, eyes wandering to the bare walls, with the exception of a single bulletin point board with a couple of pictures of them—spontaneous ones he had taken with a camera he had found in the mansion and took possession of it. There was a list of books he wanted to read. Nothing too incriminating. Not that there was something to incriminate Ben, or that Diego wanted to.

Diego then turned to the window. He walked towards it, looking outside. Nothing out of the ordinary, practically the same view Klaus had from his room. His eyes darted to the bed beside him. Ben’s clothes were thrown on top of it. His tie and his shirt wrinkled. If he was seen wearing those, he would hear a handful. He must have been caught by surprise by the mission alarm. Diego moved his sight to the bedside table. Now, that was interesting.

A frame, a pretty one at that. Inside a picture of a girl Diego had never seen before in his life—not that he had met many people in his 16 years in this Earth. The girl was about their age, maybe a bit younger. Diego thought she was pretty, but that was a detail on his mind that moment. How did Ben get this picture?

It all seemed weird. The photo didn’t look like one of those that came with frames, and the fact that Diego could see a couple of creases on the picture’s paper proved that this was handled on multiple occasions. He could see marks of what he concluded it was handwriting on the back of the photo. It all seemed too confusing.

The book in front of the frame caught his attention. My Sweet Orange Tree. What the fuck was that title? Diego picked the book up and examined.

It was old, the edges soften by use. The pages were yellowed, proving the age of the item just as much as the smell of dust. It looked second hand and he knew for a fact that this book hadn’t come from the endless book collection their dad had. Reginald Hargreeves wouldn’t be caught dead with a book so simple and filthy in his hands much less in his house—his esteemed, expensive house.

Diego hummed and put the book down. Accidentally, he dropped an envelope that rested in front of the photo. As the book rested on the night stand, the envelope fell gracefully to the ground, falling just in front of Diego’s feet. He picked it up, a pretty cursive ‘Ben’ staring back at him. He was about to open it when he heard someone behind him.

“What are you doing here?” Ben said, and if Diego was being honest, he heard some panic his brother’s voice.

Diego turned to his brother. Ben had just come out of the shower. He was, as always, drenched in blood when they got home and it was a silent agreement between all the siblings that Ben was always the first one to shower. He didn’t deserve to be further haunted just by staying more than necessary covered in blood.

Diego decided to play dumb, faced with Ben’s question. “I wanted to check on you.”

Ben’s eyes narrowed at him. Diego remained calm. Ben’s sight then shifted to his hands and his eyes flew open in shock and panic. Diego’s heart raced in his chest. It was one thing to mess with Luther or Klaus, it was another to mess with Ben. Ben never prompted pranks, even when he was the one pranking (even though he had been on the receiving end of it too). Ben was sweet and kind and incredibly quiet.

Ben raced forward and snatched the envelope from Diego’s hand. “That’s private, Diego,” he said, annoyed.

“I figured,” he responded, dryly. “Why do you have a picture of a girl in your night stand, Ben?”

Ben swallowed, nervously. He knocked the frame down, so Diego couldn’t see the girl anymore. “None of your business,” he answered, coolly.

“Are you stalking someone?” Diego guessed wildly. He knew it wasn’t the case, but if he wanted to squeeze information out of his brother, he’d have to annoy him.

“Of course not! I’m not a fucking creep,” Ben said, indignantly.

“But it sure looks like it, I mean,” Diego shrugged, “there’s this picture of a girl I’ve never seen in my life and last time I checked we knew the same people, Benny,” Diego put his hand in his brother’s shoulder and squeezed it. “It looks quite suspicious, if you ask me.”

“It’s nothing weird, Diego,” Ben wrangled out of his brother’s grip. He brushed passed him and rested the envelope in between the pages of the book. “It’s nothing weird,” he breathed out.

“It looks weird.”

“It is not! Piss off Diego.”

“I might as well call the police now and say there’s a stalker in the Umbrella Academy.”

“I’m not a stalker.”

“Imagine what Dad’ll say when he hears precious Number Six is creeping up on some pretty girl.”

Ben jumped on his brother both of them falling on the bed, Ben’s hands gripping Diego’s neck firmly, but not enough to choke him. Diego knew Ben wouldn’t do that. “Don’t tell Dad,” Ben gritted through his teeth, his eyes determined and angry.

Diego had never seen him like that. So angry and focused. Ben was sweet and calm, he didn’t think he had it in him to unleash anger to the world. Diego put his hands up in surrender, “I won’t. Stop choking me.”

Ben released his brother hastily, turning his back on him. He closed the door. Diego sat up and noticed the action, furrowing his eyebrows. “Who is she, Ben?”

Ben sighed heavily. “If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

“I won’t tell,” Diego said, bashfully.

“Promise me,” Ben demanded firmly.

“I promise,” Diego answered, hands in the air in surrender.

Ben sighed once again. He turned and sat beside his brother. “She’s a friend.”

Diego laughed. “Friend, yeah right.”

“She is!” Ben tried. Diego thought he was trying to convince himself rather than convince him.

“If she was really a friend you wouldn’t have a picture of her on your night stand,” Diego pointed out.

“How would you know?”

Diego was taken back by this because Ben had a point. How would he know? It’s not exactly like they had a lot of experience with normal relationships. “I just do,” he said, shrugging. “Who is she, Ben?” he asked softly.

“She is…” Ben trailed off, lost in his own world for a moment. “She’s—I,” he cleared his throat, “I saw her on the bus stop one day, and she seemed lonely. A couple of days later I sneaked out and I started doing it every morning.”

“How long?”

Ben smiled shyly. “For a little more than three months.”

“You’ve been sneaking out for 3 months and no one knows?” Diego said. “I don’t believe you.”

“Klaus caught me one day, he can vouch for me,” Ben said seriously. “I can’t believe I have to prove to you I’m sneaking out.”

“To see a girl no less,” Diego completed. “Out of all of us, you would be the last person I thought was sneaking out to flirt.”

“Should I be offended?” Ben asked.

“Don’t sweat about it. The point is my little brother is in love,” Diego swung his arm behind his sibling’s neck, putting him in a head lock. He then proceeded to mess with Ben’s head, as he wrangled out of Diego’s grip.

“I’m not your little brother,” Ben stated.

“So, you don’t deny you’re in love,” Diego said smirking.

Ben’s face remained impassive, but it told all to Diego. “You really are!” he said shocked. “That’s huge!”

“No, no, it’s not,” Ben shook his head. He put his head on his hands, exasperated. “I—I don’t know, Diego. It doesn’t feel great.”

“Why not? Isn’t it supposed to?”

“I guess so,” Ben shrugged. “And it does when I’m with her. But then I remember Dad and with the Academy and I—” he cleared his throat, “I get scared. Because I know Dad’ll react badly and I don’t wanna lose her.”

Diego smiled sadly at his brother and put his hand on his shoulder. “He won’t. Me and Klaus, we got your back, Benny.”

“Thanks, Diego.”

“You’re my brother, Ben. I’m here for you when you need me,” Diego said quietly and sincerely.

“Yeah,” Ben breathed out, smiling. “Thanks.”

“So, tell me everything about her.”

Ben laughed. “Yeah, yeah.”

Ben was the first one to get to their spot the next day. He leaned on the poll next to him, looking at his hands as if time would pass faster.

Ben barely slept that day. He rarely ever did after missions but that time it was different.

He was anxious. There was a lingering conversation on the horizon he wasn’t too thrilled about. He kept thinking and thinking about the possible outcomes and most weren’t great. It was either she would storm out on him screaming that he was liar and that he had conned her or Dad would discover he had been sneaking out and trap Ben inside the academy until his death.

He sighed pushing those thoughts aside. He held his blazer in his hand, that fucking umbrella tattoo staring at him as he did so. He looked down at it and he wished he could rip it off his arm. He wished for a second he hadn’t been bought and put in a weird boarding school. Ben sometimes felt like he was in a glass case, and everyone was there to see him, the entire world. He just wanted to be normal.

“Ben!” he heard. He looked up and saw Y/N running towards him, smile in her face. He sighed in relief when he saw her smiling like that.

She hugged him tightly and it took a second for Ben to process the amount of care and, dare he say it, love in it. As soon as he came to his senses, he melted in her embrace, his heart racing and his stomach filling with butterflies. “Hey,” he said softly.

“I’m so glad you’re alright,” Y/N breathed out, breaking the hug. Her hands found his cheeks, her thumb caressing it gently. Ben smiled at that.

“I’m alright,” His hands found her wrists, holding delicately as if she was made of china. “I thought you were going to be mad at me.”

She let out an airy chuckle. “To be honest with you, I was. I still am, a bit,” she shrugged and Ben’s heart clenched uncomfortably. “But I—” she shook her head as if she was dismissing something, “I talked to my psychologist and she calmed me down. She, um, she showed me some stuff about the Umbrella Academy and I understand why you hid it.”

“You do?” Ben said in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded. “I’m sorry you have to go through this, though.”

“But it led me to you,” Ben added quietly. He kissed her wrist gently, and he heard her breath hitch.

“You’re such a charmer,” she said incredulously.

He smiled at her. Their hands dropped, still linked, his thumbs grazing over her knuckles gently. “You have to tell me though,” she said looking in his eyes.

“What?” Ben looked at her confused.

“What is it like having brothers and sisters?” she smiled. “Is it as insufferable as I read it is?”

He laughed, throwing his head back. “Yes, absolutely.”

She laughed with him, her eyes crinkling and her smile bright. Ben’s heart almost gave out at the sight.

“It has it’s perks,” Ben pondered. “They got my back when I need it, but sometimes it doesn’t outweigh the amount of shit I have to endure.”

“I mean, I guess that’s fair,” she shrugged, her eyes falling to his tattoo. She looked sadly at it, like he used to look at it when he was little. She didn’t linger long on that, thankfully. “Tell me about your brothers,” she smiled. “Are they as nice as you?”

He smiled sadly. “No, definitely not.”

“Well, I guess it was stupid question, there’s only one of you after all.”

He looked at her, and he almost cried. The three cursed words threatened to leave his lips but he managed to catch himself before that. “It wasn’t stupid, it’s okay,” he said quietly. “I mean if you really want to know, I guess I’ll tell you.”

And he started telling her about his siblings as he walked her to her school. It felt nice to finally talk about these things with her, it was like a gigantic weight was lifted off his shoulders. He had a spring to his walk he didn’t before. You know the best part?

She hadn’t let go of his hand.

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