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caninekakashi · 2 years

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HERE IS THE POST!! I AM NOT A COWARD!!

kakashi has Bad Dog Disorder and a dissociation problem, and here is why

first, we need to establish what makes a ‘bad dog’ bad. and the answer to that, in a cruel home, is everything

what is a bad dog?

a bad dog is a dog that barks too loud, that whines too much, that wants too loudly, that needs too humanly. a bad dog is a dog that is seen, or a dog that is heard, or a dog that isn’t seen, or isn’t heard.

a bad dog is a dog that can never win, because no matter what they do, no matter how they behave, they are always bad. once you’re awarded that title, there is no giving it away.

which brings us to “friend killer” kakashi.

bad dog disorder

there is literally no other way to describe what kakashi has going on mentally than just calling him a bad dog. every action, every reaction, it all comes from a place of wanting to be Good. he wants to be good DESPERATELY, he wants to be good for his father, he wants to be good for his sensei, he wants to be a good leader, a good teammate, he wants to be a good shinobi, he wants to be good. but at every step of the way, every turn, every leg of the journey of his youth, he is shown repeatedly, and unequivocally, that he is Bad.

he tries to follow the rules, tries to do the opposite of what killed his dad. obito tells him that hes wrong, kakashi learns that he’s bad when he fails. if he was good, he would have succeeded.

(he and his father are bad, theres no way around it. the village hated them for good reason)

he tries to take care of his team, tries to protect rin. Rin takes away Kakashi’s choice and uses him as a weapon.

that is a very important shift in kakashi’s mental state, rin jumps in front of kakashi’s hand. rin uses kakashi as the weapon to end her own life. she USES HIM as a WEAPON, for the very first time, and she loves him for it.

kakashi is used as a weapon, and he is loved for it. there is no coming back from that.

everyone kakashi has lost in his young life, has died for or because of him.

(he is bad because he failed, because he killed the one person he was supposed to protect, he can’t be good no matter how hard he tries, so why try?)

(but kakashi still tries.)

anbu

minato puts kakashi in anbu to keep him close, to get him to guard kushina, to TRY and give him a break, a moment, and then he dies, and no one ever pulls kakashi out.

it is my personal belief, that kakashi is a pacifist. i don’t think he likes fighting, i think fighting alongside allies terrifies him, just look at his reaction to gai opening the 8 gates. that is not the expression of a jonin shinobi prepared to do what it takes, that is the face of a terrified man about to lose another person for and because of him.

hound never looks like this.

kakashi in anbu is noticeable becuase he does not emote, not even when the mask is off, at most he will glare, very frequently he is completely blank.

kakashi removes himself from situations that scare him, as noted by his refusal to get close to people and his desire to flee. he dips out the second the option becomes available, because he is scared.

being in anbu? doing horrific missions now because minato isnt there to keep him close, to keep him from seeing the great depths of depravity humanity is capable of? kakashi is a child, and he is a weapon, and anbu will use him like one.

if he stayed present, if he was there for every mission, every massacre. if he was in the moment, in every second spent with his hand through another person’s chest, he would die. kakashi would die. gai was right, that’s NOT who kakashi is.

but someone has to be.

which brings us to:

kakashi’s shitty brain

this man has mental disorders previously only contractible by shrimp.

he is contrasted to obito frequently, which is correct, theyre good narrative pieces, but they are polar opposites.

obito feels deeply and obsessively, the emotion he feels in the moment is the strongest he’s ever felt in his life, there is no memory of any other feeling while he’s feeling it.

and kakashi can’t convince himself to feel anything, not really.

obito is angry, a righteous furious kind of rage that demands payment for the suffering that led to it. but kakashi doesn’t have that rage, he can’t. there are times when he has anger, sometimes even intensely, but he can’t keep it. kakashi doesn’t have the fuel required to keep any strong emotion alive long enough for him to feel it.

obito and kakashi both have a very small, scared child in them.

they always come back to that moment, that mission, back to when they were a team.

there is a terrified child in them both, and then there is something else, some kind of hurting thing, something that keeps them safe.

kakashi lives as the child, and obito lives as the other one.

if obito and kakashi were stuck in a hole, you could throw them both a rope. obito would climb out, indignant and angry at the circumstances that put him in that hole, and kakashi would hang himself.

to their core, they are different. because obito wants to be a savior, and kakashi wants to be saved.

but with his team gone, with his father dead, his sensei dead, with his friends kept at an arms length to keep them safe, there is no one to keep him safe.

there is no one to save him.

so kakashi has to save himself

hound

hound is a mask, one would argue that it is The Mask. the mask to hide all things, the mask that is worn whenever something kakashi can’t handle approaches him. whenever kakashi is afraid, whenever he is that small child, there is hound.

hound came to him when kakashi was young. hound was bloody to kakashi’s broken, and kakashi needed him to survive.

hound settles over kakashi like a second skin, awkward and ill fitting, hound was made of kakashi, but kakashi was not hound.

hound is the knife, kakashi is somehow, still, not the wielder.

hound moves when prompted, kills when asked, attacks when threatened, and anbu uses him like the weapon kakashi couldnt survive being.

kakashi has a Very complicated relationship with hound, because even out of anbu, hound doesn’t leave. hound has been there for over half kakashi’s life, he is a prominent part of his existence now.

kakashi knows that it was his body, his hands in another’s chest, his feet used to kick, to break, but it is hound that was standing in front of him, hound that was pulling the strings.

hound has ALWAYS hurt kakashi, because that is what hound is, a weapon against that which kakashi cannot stand, what kakashi fears, hates. hound has always bit kakashi first, the target second. kakashi is used to it.

kakashi hides behind hound, needs hound to survive, because hound pulls the wool over his eyes, hound numbs the pain, hound lessens the blow, because. its a lot easier to justify your actions when you take away your control of the events.

is a bad dog bad?

in any situation, kakashi can be himself, or he can be the dog, but he can't be both. so he has to choose who is what when he walks into any interaction, when he has to make any decision.

is he kakashi, or is he the dog? does the dog take priority or does kakashi? and when the dog takes priority, it gets easier and easier to let it take charge.

is a bad dog bad? no it does what its supposed to do. but what about you?

kakashi can’t afford to be ‘him’ in anbu, he has to be the dog, he has to be hound, he has to survive. his morals contradict with his mission and what he needs to do, his wants oppose what is demanded of him. hound is a shield to handle everything kakashi can’t handle.

when it comes to anbu, the choices he has to make, there is no clear ‘correct’ choice. and kakashi can’t make that connection because kakashi does not exist in a grey area. kakashi is either good, or he is bad, he can’t be both.

to a mentally stable person, it’s clear that these situations are not black and white, there is an overlap, a grey area, color. but dogs are colorblind.

so where does that leave kakashi

kakashi’s life is defined by an overwhelming lack of choice. lack of control.

he couldn’t control his village’s reaction to his father. couldn’t control his father’s suicide.

couldn’t control the cave in, had no choice about taking the eye.

he couldn’t control rin, had no choice about being used kill her

couldn’t even choose to help minato and kushina during the kyuubi attack.

couldn’t control, had no choice, had no way out, could only ever be dragged further in.

at the very least, he can choose to have hound, he can control that. chose when to wear that mask, but the funniest part about it, is that he can’t.

he’s removed from anbu against his will, stripped from his addiction with no transitional period, and then forced back into civilian life with a “thanks for your service” and no therapy or any reason to keep going.

and hound doesn’t leave.

hound is still full of teeth, sharp with his claws, he is still howling and haunted, hound still craves violence, still bites, snaps at whatever is closest.

when he was in anbu and JUST anbu, and all his allies were nameless, replaceable faces -- (they were never replaceable to kakashi, but hound doesnt care) -- hound could snap and bite, hound could do what it was created for, hound could gnaw on kakashi’s limbs, could rip into his enemies, could handle all the bloodshed that always led kakashi into a panic attack.

WITHOUT anbu, all kakashi has are s rank missions, and his friends who are trying to save him, and it’s not the same. kakashi has no choice but to continue courting what he has known his entire life, violence, and whatever hurts him the most. hound never goes away.

kakashi lives his life off of table scraps, never taking more than he is given, never asking for more. he does not deserve more, somewhere along the way kakashi confused ‘living’ with surviving, and hound

hound never goes away.

psa guys i promise i know thats not how dog colorblindness works it was just a metaphor <3

#lev howls #THESE. ARE MY MANY THOUGHTS #i literally can't look at this wall of fucking text anymore thank you <3 #kakashi #hound #trying to reread this makes me feel like it is so incomprehensible ill have to look at it again later but YEAH #had to edit the post sorry for any new notifs <3 #my meta

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nagipops · 3 years

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hii I love your blogs sooo much you're really talented (I just needed to say it sorry) so straight to the point, I already made 2 requests to you and I really enjoyed your writing so I would like to make another again. As I'm clueless about what to request I'll just ask for random hcs for konoha 11, idk if it's too much but if so then you can do with Neji (I love him so much), Kakashi and Naruto. Thank you in advance and sorry anything ^^

RANDOM KONOHA 11 HEADCANONS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, neji, rock lee, tenten, kiba, hinata, and shino

WARNINGS: mentions alcohol, drugs, food, bugs, and the tiniest nsfw mention if you get the joke. hehe

A/N: AHHHH ANONN this seriously made my day, im so so glad you enjoy my work!! 💖

NARUTO

you know how we all have “the chair”, where we throw all of our dirty clothes onto?

yeah, imagine that, but from the seat to the fricking ceiling

its just a GINORMOUS MOUND of clothes, you wonder how he even goes through that many clothes so quickly???

definitely shoves it under his bed whenever guests come over (somehow)

holds chopsticks really weirdly. but it works.

asked tenten to put his hair into space buns to mimic his sexy jutsu and went around flirting with the village

jiraiya was so proud of him T-T

comes up with the WORST pickup lines

they’re so bad, its almost charming. almost

has gone AWOL multiple times, disappearing from everywhere, just everywhere

it scared you a little, so you searched the entire village for him

you finally found him sitting on the ledge of a cliff, gazing out at the vast sea

concerned and panicked, you cried out to ask him what was wrong

he turned to you with a crestfallen, devastated look on his face and said,

“i bought shrimp ramen instead of chicken ramen.”

you’ve never searched for him after his disappearance ever again.

SAKURA

100% makes origami shurikens and chucks them at you

they are deathly precise and deathly sharp. seriously, how are these not illegal weapons yet???

writes threatening motivational notes to herself on the mirror

“u got this!” “make sure to smack naruto today!” “ino sucks!”

her backpack would always be way too high up on her back. idk why but. it would

does her hair all nice and pretty before she goes out but once she arrives to her destination SHE KEEP. TAKING. IT OUT. and redoing it over and over and over again

like it’s impossible to make eye contact with her because she’s holding a bobby pin between her teeth while braiding her hair

her guilty pleasure would be hostess treats

ding dongs are her favorite. don’t ask me how i know, i just know.

eats the yellow starbursts just to spite naruto and all her haters

loves small lap dogs, she think’s they’re so cute and cuddly

but she especially loves chihuahuas

they’re so feisty and naruto HATES them, so of course she had to go and get one for herself

dresses the poor dog up in little bonnets and jackets and ties its tiny fuzzy hairs into pigtails

she and the chihuahua are not that much unlike <3

SHIKAMARU

this man is a god at shogi but he absolutely SUCKSSSS at cup pong.

is this an ick? idk. but he is absolute trash at this game.

it gets even worse when he’s got a couple drinks in him

tries to calculate the velocity and acceleration and angle and shit but his shot is always a good two feet off BYE 😭

just mutters an “aw, shit” before awaiting his turn again

hates checkers, loves chess

“checkers is for WUSSIES” - shikamaru nara

i said this in another post, but he is Very Good at whistling

like that’s his hidden talent

can copy any tune with the perfect pitch and rhythm

speaking of, he can do really cool tricks with his tongue

like making a four leaf clover, touching the bridge of his nose with it, flipping it upside down, you name it

he has slanted, scrawled handwriting, to the point where it’s almost illegible

wbk he cheats in school SO OFTEN. but he never gets caught. he’s not stupid, he just couldn’t care less about his classes.

thinks weed and e-cigs are stupid, cigarettes are where it’s at

you just can’t replicate the feeling of taking a drag from a cig after a long, tiring day

plus he looks hella cool while doing it B)

INO

teaches the boyz™️ how to braid their hair

like they all gather in a circle around this feisty fashionista and fail attempt to braid their hair

sakura was just fuming in the sidelines

“OI, INO-PIG, THAT’S A DUTCH BRAID, NOT A FRENCH BRAID!!”

yeah, ino 🙄

the only one that can actually do it is neji because a) this man is talented af and b) he’s got the long hairrr

ino probably envies his thick, sleek hair because hE’S a bOy

also asks everyone for their blood type and zodiac signs and tells them if they’re compatible with her or not

and definitely judges you for your sign 😣

“oh, you’re a gemini? hmm, what a shame...”

makes bouquets for her favorite people and kin assigns everyone a flower

only assigns the pretty nice ones to the people she likes (sorry sakura, you’re out of luck)

one of her favorite hobbies is crafting! she’s really good with details and small things so she loves making those miniature dollhouses and stuff

also really good at watercoloring. especially painting flowers and landscapes

also i feel like she would be really good at playing any instrument because of her skilled hands

can play a badass flute solo. period.

CHOJI

would honestly rather die than get anywhere NEAR an asparagus

he just thinks they’re so gross and bitter and NOT SALTY

he always eats his yakiniku a little bit undercooked because he’s way too impatient to wait for it to cook fully. who do you think he is??

whenever he cloud gazes with shikamaru, when asked what he thinks a cloud looks like, he just says some sort of food

“oi, choji, what does that one look like to you?”

“a... yakiniku grill... with... pineapple rings on it! ooh, and a wagyu steak right there!”

he thinks pringles are an abomination to society. where’s the crisp? where’s the grease? where’s the saltiness?!!!

asks ino to teach him how to do his hair all fancy and the two of them devote an entire day learning different hairstyles

it’s his new favorite thing to do now :D

he really likes crayons!!!!

like he’ll write with them, draw with them, color with them, do everything with them

he’s even tried to eat them. he said they tasted good.

definitely had the 128 crayon pack WITH THE BUILT-IN SHARPENER, and everyone thought he was the coolest kid in town

he ate it UP, he even scored some bbq dates with the ladies

i also feel like he loves basketball, and he has a MEAN slam dunk

like his vertical isn’t that high, but the man can REACH

he loves when people laugh at him when he challenges them to a 1v1 and then proceeds to absolutely destroy them <3

NEJI

he seems like a cucumber kind of guy.

just cucumber

like i feel like he puts it in everything; soba, salads, sandwiches, his face, yeah

it’s mellow and cool, just like him!

speaking of, i feel like he lives for spa days and facials

it just lets him be alone in his little cucumber scented world for an hour or two and he gets damn clear skin from it as well

seriously he has PERFECT skin. flawless. not a single blemish. his cheeks feel like baby butts they’re so smooth.

i feel like he’d be a god at solving rubik’s cubes, don’t ask me why

like if anyone scrambled theirs on accident they would just take it to neji and he’d solve it in the blink of an eye

CAT PERSON!!! loves the little meow meows

who are we kidding, neji basically is a cat; agile, aloof, does silly things without trying to, very cute

he just feels akin to the little fuzzballs and he thinks petting cats are extremely therapeutic. good for the soul

he is a golf man. he would take his juniors golfing and everyone thinks he’s uncool. cmon neji let them go to the skate park at least T-T

also very good at karaoke, definitely surprised everyone once he got a few drinks in him since he started serenading you

LIGHTWEIGHT!!! do not get more than one shot of alcohol in him. he will go berserk.

i also feel like he’d really love photography; not taking pictures of people, but of nature

he loves taking a quiet stroll through a pretty forest and snapping pictures of all the unique flora and fauna

it’s so serene ︶ ‿ ︶

ROCK LEE

100% milly rocks everywhere

gai got in on it too once he asked what lee was doing

“is that what all the youthful cool kids do these days!”

they also dab together. a lot

DO NOT BE SEEN WITH THESE TWO!!! you are not associated with them.

definitely is the one breakdancing in the middle of the dance circle at a high school party

he’s mad skilled at it too

headspins and windmills galore

challenged naruto to a dance-off and completely OBLITERATED him

lee then asked if naruto wanted a rematch, this time with one hand tied behind lee’s back

naruto obliged, and he STILL lost

RIP naruto and his fangirls, they all scrambled to lee afterwards T-T

i feel like his favorite subject is science

not the boring physics equations and laws and theories but the fun EXPERIMENTS

definitely has singed all of his hair off one time and he went to gai blubbering to help him grow back his precious hair

but he loves experimenting with different combinations and chemicals to get different reactions each time

created a potent love potion and carried it around with him all day one day

and it was actually working

girls were flocking to him left and right, staring at his lips and his face

he was so abashed at the sudden attention

heck, it even worked on sakura

“oi, lee-san!”

“hehe, yes, sakura-san?”

her eyes shifted downwards to his lips and his heart thumped harder

“hey... lee-san?”

“what is it?”

“you have something on your lip. we’ve been trying to tell you all day but you just winked and blew kisses at us.”

legend has it lee has still not recovered to this day.

TENTEN

has THE prettiest handwriting. and she can write SUPER fast

it’s like a superpower

like she transcribed five pages of a report in less than two minutes with perfect handwriting

naruto is so jealous.

she is also super good at origami! those diligent, accurate hands aren’t just for throwing things

taught sakura how to make shurikens but does NOT endorse any violent uses of them

she can replicate all of her weapons with paper and they can actually function, it’s so cool

made paper kunai knives one day and the wholeee village wanted to get their hands on them

i feel like she’d listen to mitski. idk i just get those vibes

LOVES BIG DOGS!! especially fluffy wuffy samoyeds

like man’s best friend?? no, GIRL’S BEST FRIEND!!

hugs and cuddles and squishes all the big dogs

she thinks small dogs are spawns of satan

sakura and her have definitely quarreled over this

but at the end of the day, all dogs are adorable fur babies, so she lets it slide :,)

KIBA

kiba always looks SO GOOD in photos you take of him, candid or not

like you could just whip out a camera and snap a photo of him at any given moment and he would look perfect

you framed a picture of him yelling at akamaru for peeing inside the house

it’s pure artwork

i feel like he tries to swagger around with his hands shoved in his pockets but it fails MISERABLY and the girls are wondering if he broke his leg or something 😭

kiba just walk normally. for the love of god please just walk normally.

he tries to slump back in his chair really low but one time he slouched way too low so he slipped off of his chair and onto the ground LMFAOOOO

he just wallowed there... in shame...

also.. he LOVES when the girls put makeup on him!!

he tries to act like he hates it. but it secretly gives him so much confidence

not to mention the girls hyping him up are a huge ego boost

okay the inside of his jacket hood is the warmest. thing. EVER!!!

seriously, no wonder this dude is so happy-go-lucky all the time, he’s living in literal heaven 24/7

it’s like you’re sleeping on a cloud inside a warm, cozy bed during a cold winter morning

10/10 would recommend letting him give you his sweatshirt when you’re chillin with a hair tie ❤️

HINATA

always smells like lavender soap. always

also has the cutest pencil pouches with little puppy faces and kawaii things

oH and she has those mini yoobi highlighters, she thinks they’re so cute (and functional!)

everyone flocks to her to try them out and marvel at the cute tiny highlighters

and they try to steal them from her but she doesn’t even stop them because she’s too timid to 😭

naruto goes BALLISTIC over them

she lets him have all of them <3

tennis girl!!! tennis girl.

all of her opponents always underestimate her because she’s so timid and shy and quiet

but she has a KILLER serve

and then she takes her opponents to the slaughterhouse with a complete shutout ;)

she’s really athletic believe it or not, she can beat most of the boys in a mile run and she has incredible endurance

i feel like she really loves velvet scrunchies

she just thinks they’re so pretty and they keep her hair soft so they’re cute and functional

also takes the PRETTIEST notes!!

color codes, dividers, headers, you name it, it’s all super readable too its insane

everyone asks her for her notes, not to study but just to appreciate the pure artwork that it is ^w^

SHINO

shino is SO easy to prank

“how do you catch an eyemaster?” *cue naruto and kiba snickering*

“eyemaster bait. that is because—”

even when everyone’s laughing their asses off, he still continues to explain his answer since he does NOT GET THE JOKE

tried his hand at writing haikus

here’s his best one so far:

“Bugs are amazing. That is because they are bugs. Bugs are very nice.” - Shino Aburame

VERY proud of it, since it took him weeks to perfect

praise it, pls

had one of those ant farms and bug-catching kits as a kid

and he would fill the kit TO THE BRIM. LIKE IT WAS HEAVY BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY BUGS.

he loves the little chitters of the different bugs

he had jars of different bugs all lined up on a wall shelf in his room

collects silkworms off of trees and sticks them into his pockets (no i definitely did not do this as a kid...)

HELP I FEEL LIKE he would record a timelapse of his ant farm growing and upload it to youtube with a movie maker title screen that says

“my ants”

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

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theuncommoncorner · 4 years

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ANON ASK: What would be Naruto and Sasukes reaction if they found out that their picture of them two kissing went viral?

Dead. Deceased. Gone. They both hate life so much. They are never seen together MONTHS.

Naruto’s first reaction is to punch Sasuke in the face to prove a point that the kiss meant nothing and wants to hunt down every person that shared the picture.

Sasuke denies it even happened whenever someone asks him about it. But then like some kid shows him a fucking video of it and his soul leaves his body. He’s so mad.

(I’m throwing Itachi in here and you can’t stop me.) Itachi tries to talk to Sasuke about it and let him no that it’s okay and he supports him on matter what because he’s his little brother. He’s grossed out that something like that went viral and that he had to see the picture. He doesn’t want to think about his little brother kissing someone. Poor Itachi gets hounded by Shisui because he wants to know what in the actual hell is going on.

So anyway Naruto wants to die. Sakura is just like “how could you dude. I mean I didn’t know you were gay and there’s nothing wrong with that, but you KNEW THAT I LIKED SASUKE!” She then proceeds to rub it in Ino’s face that Sasuke didn’t go with her and Ino is like “okay but he didn’t kiss you either idiot.” and then they start to argue about who Sasuke would have kissed first had Naruto not been there.

Naruto just kinda walks around without any emotion. The poor kid is at a loss. He knows he can’t not make the picture viral and he knows it’s impossible to try and punch every person that shared, Kakashi is losing his shit by the way. Actually all the jonins are. LUCKILY some kind soul shares a video that shows Naruto was pushed and the kiss was an accident so he shares it on every social media platform possible. He starts showing it to other kids in class just to prove it and everyone is like “yeah whatever sucks that the drama is over.”

And that’s that on that guys. Naruto wants to bury himself and Sasuke is praying this doesn’t ruin his reputation.

#naruto #naruto uzumaki #naruto headcanons #sasuke #sasuke uchiha #sasuke headcanon #these poor boys lmao

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depressedhatakekakashi · 3 years

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I have a proposition that might sound strange? But also my kind can't stop thinking about it, ignore this ask if you don't like it

Tenzo is not like Kakashi, he actually trains Team 7 with a more firm hand from the beginning because he needs to make sure that these kids are not going to die on him, and that means that he probably wouldn't sign them to the Chunin exams right away because people die during those fucking exams, meaning that Orochimaru can't get a safe hold on Sasuke

So maybe Sasune stays in the village

Now, follow me: Kakashi stops the fight between Tenzo and Zabuza, and then shows up later on the bridge because he really does not want Zabuza to die, he's interesting and Haku would be devastated if Zabuza dies, and maybe Kakashi helps against Gato so both Haku and Zabuza survive

Imagine Haku and Naruto becoming friends and trying to keep in touch with one another, and then the Chunin exams roll around and it's a shit-show and Naruto stops Gaara, Hiruzen dies and all that

And after Tsunade takes the had, Tenzo decides that it's time for his little kits to pick up a more focused training, because every shinobi has a unique way of fighting, right? And imagine Tenzo noticing the way Sasuke eyes swords once in a while, so he gets somehow in contact with fucking Zabuza to ask him to train Sasuke for a while because Sasuke hates being coddled like a kid and Zabuza hates kids, so it works perfectly and Zabuza can train him in a more brutal sword-fighting style

And then Sakura says that she wants to learn how Tsunade fights, the way she can enhance her strenght with chakra and all that so Tenzo happily leaves her with Tsunade

But Naruto is a bit of a problem, because Tenzo needs to keep an eye on him to make sure that the Kyuubi won't break free, so when he catches Jiraiya he kinda goes with them on their training trip to make sure that nothing goes too wrong along the way

On the one hand, i love the idea of Zabuza training Sasuke and oh BOY would that conversation with Tsunade be interesting because “what do you mean you want him to train under a missing nin???”

But also, Tenzo managing to convince Tsunade this is a good idea because ‘Senpai will be there, and i know he’s in the bingo book but he has never posed a threat to any of us’ and honestly, she’s here for making Kakashi’s life a little more difficult

And since Kakashi’s getting suckered in to help Zabuza train Sasuke (Kakashi has electric style, so while Zabuza teaches Sasuke to weild a sword, Kakashi helps him with his electric style jutsu’s and improvements) Gai decides to tag along.

They all meet outside of Konoha, and there’s this really cute taijutsu using kid named Lee watching them who happens to notice the taijutsu master in the group boasting about his skills...

So what i’m saying is...

Kisame and Itachi go their seperate ways for a while, since it would be a bad idea for Itachi to be around Kakashi when Sasuke is there, and Lee ends up going up to Gai and asking him to train him in Taijutsu so that he can get stronger, because while Genma has certainly tried to help him he’s not a taijutsu master like Gai.

Also...

Imagin Genma’s reaction when Lee introduces him to his new Taijutsu master and he see’s his old teammate standing in front of him

suddenly it all makes sense why Kakashi left Konoha.

Sasuke gets to train under Zabuza (kenjutsu) and Kakashi (electric style)

Lee gets to train under Gai (Taijutsu)

Sakura trains under Tsunade still

Naruto trains under both Jiraya and Tenzo, who travel while training him. Tenzo making sure that Naruto doesn't learn some of Jiraya's worst traits XD

#Mist Gai AU

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ailovegaara · 6 years

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Rock Lee should’ve died

No, really, hear me out here. And this is not for just pure shock value or to depict a more realistic portrayal of war where deaths are random, pointless and great in number, which works with a lot of fiction. No, this is not exactly like how Game of Thrones or Attack on Titan would do things, although they have made me realise certain things.

Yes, it is definitely a death in the spirit of Naruto. It will be noble and heroic. And better yet, it has what you could say “foreshadowing”. Don’t believe me? I’ll explain. And another thing, what GoT taught me: the best people to kill off are the characters people give a shit about. Why waste a death on a character you won’t miss as much? So yes, if you couldn’t tell by this, I fucking love Rock Lee and would fight anyone who is so much as rude to him. And I would clearly react harder to Rock Lee taking on the role of opening all 8 gates than I would for Guy-sensei.

And it’s ironic. The underdog who could not do any ninjutsu saves the entire ninja world. Or the whole world, really.

So how would his noble sacrifice play out?

SCENE: ENTER characters such as MINATO, KAKASHI, GUY/GAI, NEJI, and ofc GAARA. This is an alternative rewrite so Neji may not even necessarily die in this timeline. (Or if he does, it’ll be AFTER he witnesses Lee’s awesome heroics).

Everyone has realised that ninjutsu doesn’t work on Madara/Kaguya, whoever it is that said guaranteed awesome battle is against

Everyone: Dammit what should we do???!!

Lee: It’s obvious, isn’t it? *Pulls cool, determined expression with a slight smile* We use taijutsu!

Minato: That’s not nearly enough! They’re so damn fast and strong, it won’t be effective.

Gaara: (Beat). You haven’t seen taijutsu until you’ve seen Rock Lee fight.

Kakashi: Sure, he is exceptionally adept, but this is suicide. Sensei is right; it won’t be enough. We have to think of something else.

Guy: *His eyes are off-screen* No, but he can...

Kakashi: !!!!!! No, you don’t mean- !!!! *Turns to Lee*

Lee is standing ahead of the group. Shot and pan of his back.

Guy: *Turns towards Lee now. His eyes are serious and frightened.* Lee......!!!! Stand back! I’ll do it. (A/N: In this rewrite, let’s have it that Guy has never managed to unlock all 8 gates, but 7)

Lee: No, Guy-sensei. Only I can do this. You said so before, didn’t you? A student can surpass their master.

Gai: *tears forming*

Kakashi: This can’t be! Guy, you were never able to unlock all 8 gates. Don’t tell me that this boy can--??!

Minato: But that’s unbelievable! I’ve never met anyone who could do that!

Gaara: What happens when all 8 are unlocked?

Kakashi: Back then, in the chuunin exams, Lee only opened 5 gates when he fought against you. With all 8, you temporarily become tens of times stronger than the 5 Kage. But with each unlocked gate, the user increases the strain on their body. The self-inflicted damage approaches levels that are...irreversible. And with the 8th gate, the user will inevitably... *screen cuts to black* Kakashi: ...die. *Kakashi glares at Guy* Guy, why did you put him on a path that leads to certain suicide?! Why did you continue to teach him this?

Guy: ...You still don’t understand him. *Cue emotional music* This is what being a ninja means to him.

Gaara: *Is shocked* *Looks at Lee*

Neji (thinking): Lee...you’re right. Kakashi said so before, there’s nothing else we can do that will work. But you...

Guy: But, Lee! You have so much eternal youth ahead of you! Don’t do this! *face scrunches up* I should be the one to go before you. I can’t live with myself! I’d rather die young! But you, you’re allowed to...become old one day...!!!

Lee: *coolly* Either we all die, right here, right now. Or, I do this. *Turns to Guy* Guy-sensei. All the conditions are met.

Guy: *sweatdrop, eyes widen*

Lee: I will protect everyone...even at the cost of my life!!! *Ultimate nice-guy pose*

Reaction shots of everyone. Guy is super-touched and fearful. Kakashi is shocked. Gaara is shocked. Minato and Neji are sombre.

Lee: *hair blowing in wind* Don’t worry, everyone! Please let me do this. I....could never do anything that everyone else seemed able to do. No matter how hard I tried to be like them.

*Flashbacks of young Rock Lee. You know they will*

Lee: But now! There is something only I can do. And the whole world depends on it! So, please! I’ll be glad to be needed by others. If it’s to save everyone, I would give my life a million times over!

More reaction shots.

Gaara: Rock Lee...

Lee looks around at Gaara and then everyone else.

Lee: I’ve looked up to everybody. You are all strong ninjas. But finally, you can all watch me. *Eyes land on Neji. Neji frowns in concern. Rock Lee smiles* I’ll show you I’ve caught up to you all with hard work!

Neji: Lee...

Guy: *Thinking to himself as Lee opens all the gates* Lee, you really have tried so hard, and gone beyond... *tears openly fall* You truly are...

Kakashi and Neji (thinking): ...an excellent ninja.

After this: - Naruto gets hyper emotional when he find out about his death. This further seals his resolve to win on behalf of Rock Lee -Sakura, too, would also get very emotional. She can even have her own set of flashbacks where Lee promises to protect her with his life. Yes, he was always a good guy who meant what he said. - they later have a major funeral in honour of all that have died. Rock Lee is one of the major deaths and his photo gets a close up. Any surviving members of Team Guy are openly weeping/not doing a perfect job of concealing their emotion. We can all cry again. And hate “Kishimoto” for taking away such a precious sunbeam.

EPILOGUE TIME

- There is a statue of Rock Lee: The hero that saved the world. - Gaara even tells younger shinobi that losing a fight doesn’t mean you’re weak or worthless. Everybody has a weakness. Gaara says he once defeated the Great Hero Rock Lee. All the kids are in awe - even if they’re kids from Suna, they’ve heard of him. Like really, he beat THE Rock Lee??! Yes, he did, many, many years ago, Gaara tells them. But sometime later, a powerful villain who wanted to end the world had a weakness - and only Rock Lee could defeat them. - Let’s say that Neji survived. Neji has a kid, cos ofc this manga’s gonna have some sentimental payoff. Neji drags his kid to the Rock Lee statue memorial.

Neji: Do you know why I brought you here?

Neji’s kid: *sulking* No, why Dad? We all know who he is. And I know he was your teammate.

Neji: I know you do brilliantly in class, but you are becoming lazy.

Kid: Yeah, but I’m at the top. I can get away with it.

Neji: Do you know what would make me even prouder of you? More than being at the top?

Kid: *Looks bored* What?

Neji: Always trying your best. Even if you weren’t near number one.

Kid: Wow, Dad. That’s a very lame thing to say.

Neji: I was once like you. Believe it or not, I gave Rock Lee a hard time when we were young.

Kid: *Now intrigued* Really?

Neji: Yes. I was superior to him in just about everything. I kept telling him to give up. But he never did. And he saved all of us. I never even congratulated him, never got to thank him for what he did. So I come here. *Puts hand on son’s shoulder* And now I’ve decided to keep him alive through his legacy. I believe in his philosophy: Always work hard at whatever you do. Then you can achieve anything. *smiles warmly at his son* (A/N: Do I even dare for him to give his son a small thumb’s up???? :O) *Neji looks up at the sky, wind lightly blowing, leaves falling and twirling, sun rays from corner of the screen shine on his face*

Neji (thinking): Right, Lee?

(That’s all. Thanks for reading ^0^)

#rock lee #naruto ending #naruto manga #gaalee #nejilee #team guy #team gai #mypost #neji #naruto fic #naruto headcanon #gaara #maito gai #might guy #hyuuga neji #naruto epilogue #boruto

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