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i-only-ever-asked-questions · 3 months

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Updated! A few days ago the contract Crowley signs in S1 came up on discord. Being the crazy person that I am, I set on the quest of finding out what it actually says. I couldn't make out everything, especially at the end where Crowley's hand and the sparks obscure the lines but I made out most of it (transcript below the break).

One of the things I like the most is that the contract specifically says "Anthony Crowley of Mayfair, London." In the book, Hastur tells Crowley not to use that name: "No. Not A. J. Crowley. Your real name.” Crowley nodded mournfully, and drew a complex, wiggly sigil on the paper. It glowed redly in the gloom, just for a moment, and then faded."

Interesting things:

The contract is referred to as "the Agreement" - HA!

The contract is between Hastur and Ligur ("the Customer") and Crowley ("the Service Provider"). Not with Hell itself or with Satan.

The contract never actually says what "the Service" is nor does it say how much Crowley is supposed to be paid (so is it just delivering the baby to the convent, or all the upbringing too?)

There is a part that says Hastur and Ligur will pay the costs when the operation is done. But later on it also says that Crowley will not be reimbursed for his own expenses. Talk about being shortchanged!

Hastur and Ligur will NOT provide any help

Crowley must contribute to a retirement plan (Superannuation) for himself and his employees if he has any (how thoughtful)

And lastly, I learned the UK has Superannuations and it is not just an Australian thing! (go figure! the things GO teaches me)

So here you have it. A contract from Hell! literally If anyone can make out the words I couldn't or finds an error, please let me know and I'll update this one.

Full transcript:

[Line covered by clip and Ligur’s fingers] (the "Agreement")

BETWEEN

HASTUR AND LIGUR of HELL (the "Customer")

AND

ANTHONY J CROWLEY of MAYFAIR LONDON (the "Service Provider")

BACKGROUND a. The Costumer is of the opinion that the Service Provider has the necessary qualifications experience and abilities to provide services for the Customer. The Costumer will pay the Service Provider per project agreed. Each project has its own costs and the Service Provider agrees to inform the Customer what are the costs involved when setting the operation and the Costumer agrees to pay the total amount when the project is delivered. b. The Compensation will be payable upon completion of the Services. The Service Provider is responsible for paying any Superannuation Guarantee contributions that may be required in relation to the work performed by the Service Provider or by the employees of the Service Provider under this Agreement c. The above Compensation includes all applicable sales tax, and dues as required by law

Provision of Extras a. The Customer will not provide any resources, assistance or extra for use by the Service Provider in providing the Services Reimbursement of Expenses b. The Service Provider will not be reimbursed for expenses incurred by the Service Provider in connection with providing the Services of this Agreement. Independence of Services c. In providing the Sevices under the Agreement it is expressly agreed that the Service Provider is acting as an independent contractor and not as an employee. The Service Provider and the Customer acknowledge that the Agreement does not create a partnership or joint venture between them, and is exclusively a contract for service

Notes a. All suits, requests, demands or other communication required or permitted by the terms of this Agreement by will be given in writing and delivered to the Parties of the Agreement as follows

ANTHONY J CROWLEY of MAYFAIR LONDON

HASTUR AND LIGUR of HELL

and each [Illegible words due to Crowley’s hand] notify the other.

[ILLEGIBLE WORD]

ANTHONY J CROWLEY

#good omens #crowley #hastur and ligur #antichrist #contract from hell #Crowley apparently is supposed to pay into his pension plan #which brings the question #does Hell expect demons to retire eventually?#probably not

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vidavalor · 19 days

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Funny old world

#ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens ligur #hastur and ligur #aziracrow

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zevampirex · 10 months

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Cat omens, angel and demon, which one would you adopt??

Michael, Sandalphon, Uriel, Ligur, Hastur and Beeelzebub

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #good omens season 2 #good omens fanart #illustration #good omen cat #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses #hastur good omens #hastur and ligur #gabriel x beelzebub #beelzebub good omens #michael good omens

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applecidersstuff · 7 months

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Here’s a thing that freaks me out; demons have emotions and empathy.

Angels are always calm and annoy is the only emotion that we actually see them express. While demons have a big spectrum of emotions: we have Hastur being sad about Ligurs death; Beelzebub worried, happy and caring; Dagon being sarcastic and disgusted; we see how upset Furfur was when Crowley didn’t recognize him; Erick has plenty of emotions which I don’t think I need to mention; demon Beelzebub talks too in one of the episodes was concerned about them and feels scared when realizes that he’d been talking much. The only demon who doesn’t seem to have any “irregular demonic” emotions is Shax.

And we have two Angels who actually express emotions from the start. Crowley and Muriel. Crowley acts like other demons in present, but pre-fall Crowley is as emotional as Muriel. And it contrasts radically with Jimbriel and Aziraphale, yes they have some emotions but not as much as Muriel or Crowley.

Demons also have better understanding of humans and kids. Beelzebub is the one who actually tries to convince Adam to help them, while others just trying to force him to fulfill/go against his destiny. Crowley is the one who’s favorite animal is kids, and he’s the one who goes to help Elsbeth immediately while trying to explain to Angel that things angels say about wealth and money are lunacy.

And considering that Muriel already considered Crowleys child and the angel she’ll protect at all cost. I have some concerns about their position in Heaven, and them being an angel at all in the future ….

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moonfallss · 8 months

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moments before disaster...

#good omens #good omens 2 #crowley #beelzebub #hastur good omens #lord beelzebub #good omens dagon #pre fall crowley #good omens 2 spoilers #hastur and ligur #good omens fanart #I had to get this out while it was in my head sorry for the poor handwriting

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atlas-hope · 5 months

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low effort hastur and ligur fanart time!!

#good omens #good omens art #good omens fanart #my art #hastur #ligur #hastur and ligur #maggot husbands #hastur good omens #good omens ligur

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innefableidiot · 16 days

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MORE MAGGOT DUCKS MWAHAHA >:D

pwetty pweez

THEY ARE MARRIED AND IN LOVE CASE CLOSED

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xokurde · 8 months

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Here you go a couple of matching profile pics I've made! You can use them as you please, as long as you'll tag me!

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orangepajamas · 9 months

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I missed Hastur and Ligur very badly this Season but I think Furfur was a nice change of whatever the hell that is

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #hastur good omens #hastur #good omens ligur #ligur #hastur and ligur #furfur #good omens furfur #ned dennehy #ariyon bakare #reece shearsmith

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skotch-meow · 6 months

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...

#art #good omens #good omens 2 #gomens #good omens fanart #hastur good omens #hastur #good omens ligur #ligur #hastur x ligur #hastur and ligur #maggot husbands

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c1cada-c1cada · 7 months

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does Hastur know???

ok correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think Hastur knows about the whole Beelzebub running off with Gabitch...

so, IMAGINE the reaction of Hastur when he finds out about what happened!!! Imagine you're sitting in hell, and you see Dagon, Shax ect come back to hell. However, one thing wrong! where's our lord Beelzebub??? They have not come back to hell, so you assume that they must be discussing the matter about the missing arch angel... right?

all of a sudden you hear the voice of Dagon come onto the speaker....

"ALL DEMONS EXEPT HASTUR PLEASE COME TO THE MEETING ROOM FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT!!!"

you think this is unusual and make your way towards the meeting room where you see Shax and Dagon standing at the Pedi stool facing everyone. they both look disappointed, and they look at each other in said disappointment. shax proceeds to say they're next sentence.

" FOR SAFETY OF OUR STAFF AND COWORKERS WE ADVISE YOU ALL TO REMAIN IN THIS ROOM WHILE WE GIVE SOME... WORRYING NEWS TO THE DUKE HASTUR!!!"

you and all the other demons remain in the room while Shax and Dagon walk towards the presentation room where you can faintly see Hasturs coat.

you stand there for about 5 minutes, waiting, watching, listening for whatever is coming. All you know is that it's not something you want to be here for.

"WOT?! THAT F**KING B*TCH!!! THEY CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME-YU- US!!! I SWEAR TO F**KING SATAN, I WILL DESTROY YOU AND ALL OF BLOODY HELL *more cursing and angrier Hastur noises*"

after this outrage from our dear, dear Hastur he decided to lock himself inside of his apartment you can faintly hear the sobbing of him and the mumbling.

"How could they do this to me... why does everyone i care about leave me... they said that they would never abandon me..."

#boxfly #beelzebub #neil gaiman #my writing #ineffable bureaucracy #archangel fucking gabriel #good omens #good omens headcanons #hastur good omens #hastur and ligur #king in yellow #the king in yellow #tv omens

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duke-hastur · 28 days

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You are a tall boi (gn)

It's the platform shoes.

But why are you saying good night. It's morning. And it should be bad night/morning. I'm a demon and demons are bad.

#hastur answurs #hastur doesn't understand what (gn) means #hastur's platform shoes #hastur good omens #good omens hastur #hastur x ligur #hastur #maggot husbands #hastur and ligur #hastur speeks #ineffable #hastur speaks

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inkwell-illustrations · 7 months

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Proof that Maggot husbands is canon!

#maggot husbands #good omens ligur #good omens hastur #they're my otp #hastur and ligur #good omens ships #they're canon #my ship #good omens

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applecidersstuff · 7 months

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After the trial Beelzebub called Michael back to hell, they told Archangel to bring holy water.

When they went they assumed that hell had caught Crowley again and wants to get rid of him. To their surprise, Beelzebub tells them to pour the water into a glass, and then, before they can even object, Hastur riches for the glass and drinks it in one take. He discorporates fast, but before he's completely gone Michael catches his relaxed smile.

They turn around to ask what exactly happened and freeze in shock. Dagon covers her mouth and looks like she could cry at any moment. And Beelzebub looks completely devastated, they didn't even change their pose, just kept standing the same way they'd been when Michael entered the room.

So it wasn't a mistake? That demon was supposed to drink it, and not their traitor?

"Why?" it seems to be the only thing that keeps running through Archangel's head. Only when both demons turn to them, do they realize that it was said out loud. Both of them look surprised in their own unique way; Beelzebub seems to be shocked that Michael is in the room, although they were the ones to call them there; and Dagon seems as if they were to say another word she'll go hysterical. It just occurred to Michael that there were only three demons in the room, two in fact, there were only clothes left from the third one.

Dagon seems to make a very serious effort and, which left an angel in complete shock because it's definitely not what you expect from a demon, whispers.

"He was lonely, after Ligur and..." The sentence was cut short, and Michael thought they heard a sob or at least a ragged sigh.

"He did not want to live alone, while LIgur is dead. So he wanted to be gone. He asked for a favor, and we gave it." Beelzebub talks too fast, too emotionless, almost automatically, as if they were not awake but sleepwalking. Then they seem to wake up. Beelzebub thanks Michael(an unthinkable thing!!) and tells them that they, Beelzebub and Dagon, would be grateful if Michael wouldn't tell anyone about what they had witnesed.

Michael never understood that day. They never understood demons' emotions or why they were so weird then.

Beelzebub and Dagon never talked about that day. They never talked about Ligur and Hastur. Never of holy water.

They got distant since. But Dagon still felt a weird pain when Beelzebub disappeared with that archangel.

Why would her friends abandon her like that?

Beelzebub missed their friend, Dagon was the only person they had left after the "armageddon attempt." And she believed they were a traitor.

Why? They didn't do anything wrong.

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magical616jade · 7 months

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Hastur & Ligur: *teaching Eric about killing and destorying angels and how bad they are to demons*

Eric: *ends up dating a angel years later*

#ineffable juniors #good omens muriel x eric #good omens muriel #good omens eric #hastur and ligur #good omens ligur #good omens hastur #good omens memes

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the-demon-team · 1 month

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All I’m saying is that hastur is the biggest bottom I’ve ever seen in good omens

@furfurs-fotos: excuse me? Then what am I? topped liver?

@duchess-shax: can't confirm, but I believe it

@ligur-duke-of-hell: can confirm. it's true.

@duke-hastur: I hate you all

(but I also love you, Ligur)

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