The quote from the Jack about the point being to “find *your* people” is so true. When you start to find *your* people, you become more comfortable in being vulnerable enough to slightly let people see you if that makes sense.

I feel like that idea/concept applies to red, 1989, reputation, lover, folklore/evermore. I think Taylor started to lean into that with red and 1989, but fully embraced it with reputation, folklore and evermore.

For the longest time, people heard Taylor’s music with a “wash, rinse, repeat” mindset—automatically reducing it to songs about ex boyfriends, etc. Dismissing her craft by saying she couldn’t write a song or make an album unless she broke up with someone first.

Rep, Lover, folklore & evermore were each different in their own way and I think that *her* people are the ones who really connected to them whereas some people were disappointed that those albums weren’t in the vein (or an exact copy) of 1989. Even in that disappointment, she still connected with people who may have never thought they would have or could have done so in the way that they did.

With reputation, some people were SO quick to write that album off because it wasn’t what they felt accustomed or entitled to—the music “wasn’t good”….because they didn’t get it. It didn’t cater to them. The stadium tour was going to flop because the music didn’t apply to “her crowd”.

But you know who did get it? You know who understands the undertones on folklore/evermore? The LGBTQIA community. Now compare “her people” to *her* people.

Jack was on 🎯 with his comment. I think his comment is definitely something he has opened her eyes to as they have worked together on her last couple of albums and you can hear it.

So true. I completely understand what you mean. I think we’ve talked about this regarding Taylor plenty of times over the years. There was this visible shift starting 1989 era, particularly when she moved to New York and started experiencing new things and people. This was only the start. How much she’s grown from then to now always makes me smile. Of course this is called growing up, but theres something about letting go of your fears (and your ghosts) and taking a leap into territory you were always afraid of and surrounding yourself with likeminded people and trying to find yourself. You can see that shift in her demeanor, the clothes she wore, the people she was around etc. I think some of these same people are still on this journey with her because they’ve formed meaningful relationships and bonds and she holds them close and is protective over that. They’re still with her in the shadows, in the darkest times and in the good times as well.

With her music I feel like there was always this unspoken rule to cater to certain audiences, to make a bop and a cohesive body of work by following certain rules. While previous songs are still personal, you can see a huge shift with reputation where she let her guard down and wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable. It was something for her that she needed to say with no questions asked. This is where certain audiences felt seen and related to it because it was tangible to our experiences. The experience of finding yourself, people who are like you and people who make you happy and wanting to protect it but also still going through some really dark shit and trying to balance it all. I think the time leading up to reputation era was a time of major soul searching and personal growth even though it was a hard time. I don’t want to say in exacting terms, but it feels like around this time she accepted herself and that step opened many other doors for her and she chose to live in a way that works for her.

Lover is vulnerable in its own way because she allowed herself to explicitly specify whats important to her as a person and how this shapes the way she lives and writes. Theres this confidence and stability in what shes trying to say yet anxiety as well, and dipping into experiences from her youth. This bleeds over into the next albums. She’s vulnerable enough to let certain people have a glimpse, while others see the deeper picture.

folklore/evermore is a whole other dimension of vulnerability and rawness that we’ve never witnessed from her, and I think thats why its so special. She allowed herself to escape reality, to go back in time and to feel a spectrum of emotions in this world of isolation, and to put it out there unvarnished. Feelings that she spent her whole life trying to put into words, but protecting that side of her at the same time. I think how she presented these albums and the experiences behind it resonated with a certain group of people more than others and brought up feelings that have been pushed down for a while, but also the major nostalgia and innocence it made us feel.

To get back to Jack, I think her working on all these albums with him and him diving with her into the deep shit and talking through it definitely resonated over the years and I love that they can create in a honest safe space like that. The same goes for Aaron. I think they work well together in this aspect. They aren’t afraid to go to the deep end and thats where art is made.

You have to first make art for yourself and hope that it resonates with your people and when it does I imagine that’s a special feeling knowing that at least some people get what you’re trying to say.

Tobias Forge (Ghost): 'As soon as you step into another character you are liberated to do a lot of things you wouldn't do as yourself'

The mastermind behind the Swedish death metal band tells us about his ghoulish persona and the band's campaign for world domination

Since their diabolical inception in 2010, Ghost are already on their fourth frontman. The first three vocalists – Papa Emeritus I through III – all met a gruesome untimely end. For 2018's album, Prequelle, Cardinal Copia wrestled control for the next chapter in Ghost's campaign for world domination.

Unlike his papal predecessors, Copia forgoes the skull make-up for a slimmed-down streamlined look enhanced with ghoulish prosthetics. 'I thought it would be interesting because previous ones [singers] have come into the band already risen to full exultation. Whereas on this record I thought it was interesting to meet someone who hadn't yet been anointed to full power,' explains the man behind the mask, the mastermind behind Ghost, Tobias Forge. 'As soon as you step into another character you are definitely liberated to do a lot of things you wouldn't do as yourself.'

Former frontman of Swedish death metal band Repugnant and guitarist with sleaze metal aficionados Crashdïet, Forge wanted to try something new and unexpected. 'It wasn't a bolt of lightning and the whole concept was there,' says Forge. 'It started with a few songs I recorded in 2008 and it dawned on me that this would not be a normal band just dressed in t-shirts and it just grew from there.'

A witches brew of Satanic imagery, heavy classic rock and metal (such as Black Sabbath, KISS and Blue Öyster Cult) forms a strangely upbeat and life-affirming take on devil worship. Ghost have even covered ABBA, the Beatles, Depeche Mode, Eurythmics and Simian Mobile Disco.

'As most things age they have a tendency to grow very conservative and puritan,' says Forge. 'The same thing happened with extreme metal, so many followers of the genre … created dogmatic rules about how it should be and for some reason there's this idea that this kind of music shouldn't be fun – which goes against the whole idea. Venom [widely acknowledged as the first black metal band] was a lot of fun. Even if you skip the subcultural aspects and look at it from a Biblical point of view, the Bible is dominated by a lack of humour, unintellectualism and slavery, suppressing what is human, so obviously the exact opposite should be intellectualism, laughter, fun, being free, living life, thinking, feeling.'

Caked in make-up and dressed as the anti-Pope, backed by his masked Nameless Ghouls, for the first seven years Forge managed to maintain the mystery, despite rampant online speculation. 'Anyone who has ever put on a guitar and played on stage has some sort of exhibitionist streak. So I never chose to be in an anonymous band because I'm shy or didn't want to be a rockstar. However, from the day that I started to enjoy some success with Ghost, being in a masked band, I enjoyed the idea of having both: being in a known band but not personally being known.

That was very practical because I do enjoy a lot of very normal things, I like going to bars, going to record stores, without talking to anyone. I like solitude. It was bound to happen anyway, so it doesn't really matter, it's a nice problem to have. I remember when I wasn't in a popular band and I'd rather have it this way,' he laughs.

Unsurprisingly, the theatricality of their live shows is an integral part of the Ghost experience. As Forge and his band head out on their first UK arena tour (christened the Ultimate Tour Named Death with support from All Them Witches and Tribulation), it will be the first time we'll get to revel in the full sets, costume changes, and the fire and brimstone the rest of the world have already witnessed. 'We've never actually done our full show in the UK. The closest we've done is when we headlined Bloodstock [2017] but even that was makeshift, pulling stuff together. This is the full production.'

Ghost fans will also be pleased to hear that new music is on the horizon. 'We do our last European dates in December, then one more date in Mexico City and that's a wrap on this tour. Come January I'll be going into the studio to start writing, so hopefully at the beginning of 2021 there will be a new record out.'

LIST.CO.UK

2019 August Update

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the clouds." That's a quote ... that I think succinctly captures what transpired these past 2 months. A lot of progress... but the game is still not done >_<

(extra note: actual quote is land among the "stars", but stars seems like a higher goal was achieved, so I modified the quote).

Anywho, here are some of the things we have accomplished in the past 2 months.

--- ALBUM ART ---

With the sound track essentially done, Will requested some album art. So Pirate and I compiled a bunch of album art that we liked from other games, and from that Pirate made a bunch of concepts - and then we narrowed it down from there, with the 3 of us interjecting our opinions throughout the process, and Pirate doing all the heavy lifting. The album art will be revealed later. For now, here's a teaser of our initial brainstorm process.

(round 1 : brainstorming and concepts)

(round 2 : Survivors from round 1 progress a little more)

--- NEW BOSS ENCOUNTER ---

I thought the scope of what needed to be done for the game was settled, but while writing out the new ending sequence, one part started to drag. There was too much exposition, so after brainstorming a bunch of ways for how this new ending sequence could flow better, it became clear... There needs to be another boss encounter! This boss would really help the pacing of the scene, and it made nice thematic sense and tied up the game's whole story arc in a more satisfying manner. To avoid spoilers, I won't talk it too much, but here's a little silhouette teaser.

(hint: it's not a bat)

--- WRITING ---

Writing doesn't happen linearly since I'll skip around fairly often. It's a delicate balancing act - if I force myself to stick in one area before I move on, progress will grind to a halt, snagged on those last few unscripted lines due to writer's block. But if I skip around too much, the context switch takes some time in itself, and the game can't be enjoyed by playtesters. So for that reason, the beginning and ending sequences are now finished (excluding the credits roll...). But there's still a lot of middle parts to fill in and plenty of side quests still.

For example, there are ~90 NPCs in just Atai town. And each one will talk about 4 text boxes of dialogue (some more, some less). A bunch of NPC dialogue will also change when a big event occurs in the story. So there needs to be a healthy mix of NPCs that push the important story bits, NPCs that push side quest hints, NPCs that talk about geography or history, NPCs that are just for fun, etc. So there's a lot of variables to keep track of.

I've started thinking of better ways to manage it all. One of my new workflows is to use a spreadsheet.

Topics to cover exist in a column on the left. Lines to be spoken by NPCs are stacked  to the right. A cursory glance at the spreadsheet lets me see which conversational topics could use more coverage, and so on.

I even took on new writing help in a young Mr. Cody. Taking on a new writer has been a process because it is not as simple as tossing them some NPCs and letting them run loose. There has to be a ramp-up period for the writer to become familiar with the lore and writing style. There are also unspoken rules about Phoenotopia's universe I implicitly understood and never had to think about. But now that I'm cooperating with someone, I've had to think about verbalizing what those rules are. It takes up more time, but in a weird way, having an outside perspective also helps me understand Phoenotopia more. I also find that I can push through my writer's block more easily when coming from a corrective angle.

I've been quite the strict taskmaster to the new writer, but he's been very resilient and teachable. He's also a great ideas guy. So look forward to Cody's contributions in the finished game!

--- PLAYTESTING ---

The long road of playtesting begins! As mentioned in my previous blog, my goal was to have my brother playtest the finished game during our trip. He didn't get to playtest the *finished* game, but he did get to playtest through a good 40% of it. The game is pretty complete in a linear fashion up until the 40% mark - after that, the rest of the game world exists but the NPCs have placeholder dialogue, and the cutscenes to connect the story events together are still unscripted.

But that wasn't too big a limitation because my brother only reached the 40% mark during the tailend of our trip. My brother preferred to play in 1-2 hour chunks throughout the trip (no marathon session on the plane as originally planned). I think it took him about ~15 hours to get through the game's first 2 chapters and a little extra - unfortunately, the game's timer bugged out so I don't have an exact figure.

Tons of useful information came out from his play test. I wrote down *127* things to fix based on his playthrough - some were small things, like adding more signposting. Others were big issues - a boss stage needed to be redesigned, a needed change to the control scheme, item dupe bugs, etc. I'll speak on some of the ones I've fixed so far here:

A. Warehouse Visibility Low 

For some reason, when starting out my brother completely missed the warehouse where you'd find the starter weapon. He ran past it a few times. Upon inquiring him about it, he said he didn't think it was interactive. Sure enough, all the doors on the left start open, so I see how the misconception could form. When players experience a game for the first time, they're developing a mental image of the game's rules - what's interactive and what isn't. And this early on, the language for doors is still unclear. Per his suggestions, I made this door start open, and moved the camera's edge left a bit to make it less likely to be missed.

B. Eating instructions unclear

Another thing that didn't go as planned was the food eating tutorial. Early in the game, an NPC gifts the player a potato and asks the player to eat it there. After doing so, the NPC gives the player additional tips regarding food. But my brother actually just ran away with the potato so the rest of the tutorial didn't occur. But now with an additional subtle dialogue box, the player is more likely to behave as desired.

(If you design it right, the player won't know you're holding their hand at all)

C. Gear Ring Too Sensitive

One of the game's new features is what I now call the "Gear Ring". The player can equip 8 items to it and quick-access items/tools with a flick of the right control stick. My brother HATED this feature since it was too easy to flick it accidentally when reaching for the regular face buttons. I've now guarded the quick-equip behind an addition RIGHT-CLICK press. Add in a few more FX, and it now works and feels better!

D. Wrecker Too Hard

(In the old boss arena - the 3D printer on the ceiling just made the fight more confusing)

The game's difficulty to players is a big blind spot for me. My brother's no slouch when it comes to gaming. He's beaten all the Dark Souls games and he loves a challenge! So to see him get pulverized in 10 seconds (literally) was a clear sign that the boss was too hard. The boss is able to easily corner the player and there’s no clear opportunity to escape. So I've decided to rearrange the arena - get rid of the 3D printer above and add 2 platforms to the battlefield's edges. This makes the fight more manageable (for the first encounter).

E. Aerial Attacks Too Hard

(Each hit fills the meter at the bottom. Hit the speed bag 10 times in quick succession to win a prize!)

I love the current aerial attack system but there's a steep learning curve to it. Gail takes time to wind up her aerial swing so the player has to time it so that Gail's jump trajectory and swing coincide with the target. Swinging the bat too close to the ground will result in Gail not only failing to attack, she'll be punished with a short "landing lag" recovery state. So aerial attacks are hard it seems. Instead of revamping the system, which I'm still fond of, I've introduced an aerial training course disguised as a mini-game.

So that's a small snippet of some issues I'll sort through with playtesting. Once the game is further scripted, my plan is to do another round of playtesting, followed by fixing. Then rinse and repeat until the whole game is all polished. It seems there's still a long road ahead... So I apologize if I've gotten your hopes up!

--- FANART ---

Three new fan arts popped up in the last 2 months.

The first one is thanks to Cody. G, who's made many fanart submissions before. He continues to improve - really interesting choice of angle and great water effects!

The next two are thanks to Shafiyahh on reddit. Both depictions are of Gale in 2 different art styles and angles. I really like the sparkling effects! Gale also has 2 different eye colors. Which do you think is more fitting?

That's all for now. We'll continue working diligently, and be back with another update come end of September.

Conjecture |1|

Yoongi x Reader

Idol Reader Au, Enemies to Lovers AU

Summary: Your management refused to renew your contract unless you collaborated, so you ending up working with Min Yoongi. A guy you’d disliked from before both of your debuts. There is more to their past than meets the eye.

Words:2011

This will be a series so if you want to be tagged let me know :)

Warnings: None ( but look forward to a Sub and Dom Yoongi because who doesn’t)

Enjoy, let me know what you think :)

“I don’t know if you’re more excited than me about this and I’m the one who’s going to be working with her” Yoongi said amused.

“The industry has been asking for this collaboration of its two best rappers and producers for years, and it’s finally going to happen under my label, I have every right to be excited. I warn you though she’s not happy about it” Yoongi filled his glass from a large jug in the centre of the table.

“They would only renew her contract if she agreed to collaborate” Bang continued “I mean why she’s refused to work with anyone since before her official label debut is beyond me”

“I’m sure she has her reasons” Yoongi blurted out defensively.

“You’ve loved her work since the underground haven’t you?” Lee asked

“Yes and it was incredible even back then”

“No need to get defensive Yoongi” Bang said, suspicion growing through his expression. “I’m just trying to prepare you, she might not be the most amenable and agreeable person you’ve worked with. She has a reputation for being unconventional at best”

“I’m sure I can handle ‘unconventional’ for a few weeks”

//KNOCK KNOCK//

The receptionist opened the door to the conference room and ushered you inside with a polite gesture. All of the guys in the room stood up and bowed with Yoongi bowing noticeably lower than the others. You returned the gesture with a polite smile on your face. Bang came closer to you and also greeted you with a firm handshake.

“Y/N it’s so lovely to have you here, let me introduce you to everyone” He began walking you round the table “This is Lee, he’s our main concept director, Hoseok here is the studio manager and of course I hardly need to introduce you to Yoongi” A genuine bright expression diffused onto his face; he bowed once more

“I can’t tell you how excited I am for this project” you could tell he meant every last word. You had to exert slightly more effort to keep the politeness from waning in your smile.

“BigHits been asking me long enough” you kept your tone as light and relaxed as you could. The slight flinch in his expression told you he was unsure how to tread with his next words; thankfully he was saved by his manager

“Shall we get started, this won’t take long” Bang suggested. You took your seat next to Yoongi and had a glance at all the BTS album plagues lined round the pale walls surrounding you.

“The announcement of this project has already caused mass excitement so I’m sure I don’t need to emphasise the importance of care and discretion for this, Dispatch have already been seen lingering around. If it is suitable with you Y/N Yoongi has suggested very generously the idea for you to stay at his new apartment to maximise discretion and the dedicated work time”

“There’s a whole studio and we can work unbothered” Yoongi added

“Of course you will have full access to BigHit facilities, with that said there is a lot of recording taking place at the moment so you’ll have to use your time wisely” Hoseok added.

There was an expectant silence waiting for your response. You was not expecting to stay with him, this definitely soured your mood further to the jet lag draining your muscles.

“If that’s what you thinks best, it would be good to have another studio to have full access to” you replied stopping any sourness from seeping into your voice. Your peripheral vision detected miniscule movement from Yoongi, his face went from yours to down at his hands, fingers entwining together. It appears the sourness had leaked somewhat into your expression.

“Good, we want to give you freedom for this project but the concept of this track has already been decided” Bang gestured over to Lee. Heads all turned to the concept director; you took a few mouthfuls of your iced coffee hoping for any kick to keep you alert.

“So for the concept we want to use the known fact of your previous friendly rivalry as a starting point. Within the lyrics and for the video of course we want there to be an element of conflict or dislike towards each other with you singing individually” Already there you scoffed within your own thoughts. “And by the end of the song we want a sense of resolution and the pair of you vocalising together”

“Doesn’t sound like too much freedom to me” you offered shifting in your snuggly fitted shirt unbuttoning your waistcoat.  You hated being in formal wear especially after a long flight; with your world tour finished all you craved was to be in your comfy trackies and oversized hoodies. The eyes around you in the room flittered anxiously.

“But the idea is pretty sweet and fans would certainly love it” you felt the angst settling in the room “I can work with it” you added beneath your non-chalant tone the concept actually heightened your interest for this whole thing.

The meeting droned on for longer than it really needed to at this stage, discussions of the music video, promotions and performances and the like were all very well but we’d yet to even write the track. You personally couldn’t work on those things until the song had legs and the feel of the beat had absorbed into your being and dictated the direction you’d want to take. A sly look to your right at Yoongi’s expression gave away that he must feel the same; you suppressed an amused grin from surfacing. Half of your brain power for the remainder of the meeting was just you scolding yourself and your mind for constantly drifting off appreciating the absolute flawless visual of Min Yoongi. He was attractive back in the day and his image more recently has always been increasingly pleasing to your eyes but up close and in a small vicinity you’d never expected your body to completely disregard your mind and react like you’d not had sex for weeks. You hadn’t. It had been months, six to be exact, your tour was unforgiving with its lack of free time.

“Okay, you two go create this masterpiece” Bang stood with everyone else following suit with their goodbyes, you exhaled, relieved for your mind to be focused back on the reality of the room. That was until everyone had left just the two of you in the room alone. You unlocked and checked your phone distracting you from the draining silence.

“My place is ready whenever you are” He offered as he stood and grabbed his phone of the table.

“I’m already packed” you kept your eyes down and scanning through your messages.

“Sweet do you want to catch a ride with me?”

“No thanks, I’m more than capable of getting myself to yours, I’ll just need your address”

“Err okay sure thing” You exchanged numbers and he sent you all the details. You had to give him some kind of credit he was definitely dealing with your bluntness well.

“See you there, I’ll message you when I park up” and with that you left and headed out to your car.

After passing through the security gates and parking up and sending a quick message you couldn’t help but appreciate the success the both of you had had looking up at the towering building; the last time you were at his place it certainly wasn’t a three million dollar apartment.

“Welcome, please come in, please see this as your home while you’re here” Yoongi beamed. His politeness grated on you, his thoughtfulness and kindness is no secret but unfortunately the last time you were in a situation with him it had left a bitter taste in your mouth which had done nothing but fester over the years.

“I’ll try, I’m not used to sharing, but thank you for your having me”

“You’re quite welcome, if I’m honest I haven’t quite got used to being on my own yet so you’re doing me a favour and helping me out” you wheeled your suitcase against the wall and removed your shoes before you ventured further into the apartment. The palatial living space was calm, neutral colours were prominent from the fleecy rug at the foot of the large corner sofa to the vertical blinds bunched together at the sides of the large rectangular window overlooking the city. The only thing that looked slightly out of sync with the room was the mahogany upright piano also facing in the direction of the window.

“Can I get you anything to drink or eat?” he asked walking to the open plan kitchen to the right and grabbed himself a bottle of water from the fridge, you let him take a few mouthfuls before replying.  You tried to make out the band name on his t-shirt but his red and black chequered shirt obscured too much of the detail so naturally instead you got drawn to his collarbones and the milky skin veneered over them.

“Is it too early to ask for anything alcoholic?” you pleaded spinning yourself on one of the bar stools around the breakfast bar

“It’s just gone twelve, so I’m going to say no. What do you drink?”

“Honestly, anything”

“Well there’s some Vodka that needs finishing, with coke?”

“Perfect”.

“Let’s give you a tour” drink in hand you followed him dozily with an unapologetic buzz of excitement to see the Genius Lab. The floor was blanketed with light grey distressed wood flooring as you made your way down a short hallway, the furthest room away was a moderate yet adequately equipped gym with one wall lined entirely with a mirror and the floor space in front of it was clear; you guessed he utilised it as a dance space. Next up was your room, Wow! You thought. You’d never want to leave this room. In the centre of the back wall was a large low four poster oak bed; It looked more like the support structure of a cube. There were what looked like satins drapes draped over the top beams, the cream bedding was neatly made underneath the pale blue scatter cushions. There was a bedside dresser and on the right were two large oak doors which led to a walk in wardrobe. You couldn’t wait to stream your laptop through the considerable sized flat screen perched on the wall opposite the bed.

“Will this be okay?” Yoongi’s voice interrupted your room admiration.

“Are you kidding? the room’s beautiful” His eyes widened, this was the first time he’d actually picked up any excitement from you. His smile was content and it was in a word, adorable. He pointed to his bedroom door on the way to the studio, you’d be lying if you told yourself you wasn’t curious how his room was decorated.

“Well this definitely resembles home” Yoongi allowed you to sit in the main chair in front of the vast sea of dials, the sight of all the audio equipment and screens comforted you and soothed some of your attitude, but that could also be the vodka.

“You’ll find it hard to find anything that I don’t have that we’ll need” He was perched on the arm of the black leather sofa behind you looking proudly over the set up. Your soft smile peaked Yoongi’s curiosity.

“What?”

“Nothing, we just pretty much have the same equipment”

“Great minds” was all he responded before an awkward silence made the room almost like a vacuum.

“Anyway you must be flagging by now, we can catch up tomorrow morning and come up with some kind of plan.”

“Yeah that would be good actually, I don’t think I could even write my own name at this point”

He exhaled a small chuckle and you tracked back to the living room, grabbing your case and retiring to your room. After chucking on an oversized grey hoody and short you crawled into the bed and within minutes your exhaustion edged you into unconsciousness.

marianas trench: phantoms

the absurd album overanalysis, commentary, and ranking nobody asked for

first, my personal ranking (don’t get me wrong tho i love the entire damn album):

1. wish you were here 1. don’t miss me 1. the death of me 2. your ghost 2. the killing kind 3. only the lonely survive 3. echoes of you 4. glimmer 4. i knew you when 4. eleonora

the album as a whole: oh such an awesome story and so awesomely inspired by the horror genres?? i think some of the non-singles hit the horror mark better but like oh my god it’s such a cool vibe the whole entire thing???? i know the concept was like,,,,,,descent into madness but you can totally feel this struggle with it and with the idea of a doomed/dead relationship, it’s just so so well done??? my one complaint is that i’m not musically inclined enough to recognize where all the references are bc unlike in no place like home and dearly departed, there aren’t really as many lyric references to other albums/songs, it’s more the music. and i know it well enough to go ‘oh that’s familiar, for sure’ but i can’t for the life of me figure out where from (in most cases)

eleonora: i mean the title is based on the short story by edgar allan poe (x) true to theme from the beginning, which (long story short) is about a woman the narrator falls in love with (well, his cousin) but she’s ill and will die, blah blah blah she does and the narrator vows never to marry anyone else but later he does and his first love comes back from beyond the grave to give her blessing for the new marriage - already basically i’m getting vibes of like,,,,,,a genuine desire to move on? which is great imo and like a step forward from previous albums? plus the whole acapella delivery is super reminiscent of so it goes (x) and the layered voices reminiscent of the intro to end of an era (x). plus we have the direct ref to the raven (x) by poe with ‘midnight dreary’. also the idea of ‘don’t hush’ which is later touched on as ‘just hush’ in the killing kind? oof interesting v v interesting

only the lonely survive: a bop a massive bop but! also! just a very intriguing take (at least to me) on a doomed-to-fail relationship, the idea that you can actively acknowledge a relationship is hurting both parties but...choose to stay. i also like the idea (which i might just be extrapolating) that to truly live, to have a really poignant relationship, you have to sort of give yourself over to it? ‘only the lonely survive’ - only those who isolate themselves truly ‘get out alive’ if you will but like, that’s the beauty of putting yourself out there? is like, you truly feel everything, i guess. ‘it hurts like hell to love this well’ sort of touches on that same idea for me. anyway the whole thing goes hard as hell and i love it. ‘he’ll never know you / not the way that i knew you’ we love intra-album references !!!

echoes of you: okay didn’t love this at first bc it felt repetitive (and it was coming on the heels of only the lonely survive which i adored) but it also felt really unique and a little different? when the released it as a single, it’s the first time i thought of this album as truly horror-inspired and totally picked up on the tell-tale heart vibe (x) which was just so interesting, i love how stories like that have turned into these really fresh songs that still call back to these kinds of madness-inspiring stories - that a love can inspire that kind of madness, even when it’s gone. i also wonder if the idea of ‘can’t stop myself from falling now’ has less to do with falling in love (which is, for me, the immediate connotation) and more to do with ‘falling into madness’. the verses and the tempo are so well-paced as well, like this frantic feeling? then the chorus comes in with this suspenseful set of chords? and the theremin in the background!!!! the best way to give a truly Spooky™ vibe. the idea of tell-tale heart, the story, too, is that the narrator is trying to sound completely sane, and explain the murder they’ve committed and why it was justified - that goes along with the theme of this album, too, where there’s this undercurrent of trying to insist that the doomed relationship is somehow justifiable

don’t miss me?: oh i adore this and the idea of ‘oh hah yeah no i don’t miss you like at all,,,,,,,,,,,,,do you ‘not miss me’ too?’ and like this,,,,,,not obsession but the idea of trying to actively move past missing someone? but just constantly getting caught up on it? unrelated to the meaning but oh my god the little background vocals, adore it. ‘some people try to raise the dead / some people try to live instead’ is like. that’s one of those things that i lowkey would love to get tattooed on my body or something. just really good words, because that’s what it’s like moving on from a rough relationship - and it’s hard to like, see that when you’re in the thick of it? bc like imagine losing a loved one and trying to bring them back to life - we’ve all heard the story, it’s never what’s expected, it’s never quite right and the same goes for relationships. and so, the idea of living instead, of moving on. also the vocal run up to the high note toward the end (x - look idk Music Words) reminds me of something but i can’t quite place it. also ‘i don’t remember why we stayed’ and then in wish you were here, we get ‘i don’t recall now why we’re buried’ which is a fun contradiction

wish you were here: that middle-of-the-night madness that goes alongside one love (x) like,,,,,if you took it one step on the other side of madness and entertained the idea of reviving a relationship that should be dead. except it’s such a bop unlike one love, like it sounds a lot like it could be on astoria, and it’s got that back beat matching this means war (x) in fact, it feels like the exact polar opposite of this means war (like...instead of ‘lmao i’m totally awesome without you’ it’s like ‘i’m,,,,,maybe not doing so great without you, shit i really wish you were here, wish we were together’)? but with the same sort of vibe in terms of the music itself? and the outro (x) reminds me hardcore of something else i can’t quite place

your ghost: this one also reminds me a lot of the general vibe of astoria with hints of like. modern touches? this one reminds me a lot of wildfire actually? (x) but a bit more upbeat? like that guitar style i think is what does it. it feels a lot like there’s this...almost unwilling pull toward the idea of ‘madness’ that they’re focused on, like....a sort of awareness of the descent? also the softer bit toward the end where it’s just josh and the guitar (x) reminds me a lot of something that i once again cannot place for the life of me

glimmer: oh no,,,,,,,,,okay first this (it’s just audio but tumblr won’t let me add audio on its own in a post like this):

so my first and most important comment is that all i can think about when i hear this song is ‘halo by beyonce halo by beyonce halo by beyonce halo by beyonce’ and it tends to run over everything else lmao. but! i think conceptually it’s more of that descent into madness, into seeing some sort of trace of a relationship, like some sort of residual glimmer that sticks to things, to people. ‘it’s funny what you find when you go without’, like the idea of....probably hallucinating in a sense, but starting to see the relationship/the other person everywhere, on everything, when you’re missing them? even to the point that, when the person comes back, maybe the memories of that relationship stick around too - ‘you’ve changed but it’s not enough / and doubt is insidious / creeps up on you softly / i can’t get it off me, i can’t get it off me now’ like this idea that even though it’s something wanted, to come back together (no matter how bad it might end up), memories and the past can’t really be forgotten - ‘you’ve changed but it’s not enough’ - very reminiscent of wildfire (x - ‘so now you show up when you’re alone again / but we haven’t changed, but now you’re interested) ngl too the overall feeling of the song reminds me of one love? (x)

i knew you when: so this song sorta came out of nowhere to me, like it felt weird and off-kilter like...i knew you when? when what? but like. now it makes a lot more sense, in this sort of...well, twisted way. it feels like things have been twisted around. it comes off the back of glimmer, too, and i think that’s like - oh, these memories are here, lingering, and this is almost a deep-dive into them? it tells a bit of a story and i think it’s less abstract, but it definitely harps hard on the idea that ‘i’ve been loving, loving you too long to just sudden-suddenly move on from this’ that sort of encompasses the entire album really cleanly. it’s interesting, actually, it almost feels like a very sincere moment of clarity and specificity amidst a mess of this drifting toward ‘madness’, but still hinting at that little bit of ‘okay but if you want to....i’ll know you then’, this like concession to that madness, an indulgence in it? 

the death of me: oh catch me melting over the transition between songs, utterly seamless. love it. this one is another one that like....feels like a breath of clarity in awareness? like this acknowledgment that there’s something off, this lingering desire for someone from the past, that there’s an emptiness, that this new thing isn’t right, even if it’s something wanted. because other wanted things (or people) make it impossible. i think it’s also the first time in a while where another party (ie not them nor the person they’ve got this tangled relationship with throughout the album so far) is mentioned which is v interesting. i think this track does an excellent job of bringing a ghostly vibe to it, the echoing vocals and background sounds, they almost elicit this feeling of like. the person is drifting away from the person they’re trying to make a new start with, like literally drifting? almost being pulled in by the ‘madness’? and it’s a heartbreaking song, too, bc there’s this emanating desperation to like...move on? and make things work? but this acknowledgement that...maybe that’s not happening? maybe it’s not possible? maybe there’s too much baggage, in a sense? there’s also that very long outro that starts off a little intriguing, adventurous almost, and then descends into this frightening crescendo (x - that also has a hint of something else in it) before these voices come in, crescendoeing again into this sudden stop and then you’ve got josh saying ‘save me from myself’ which i feel like is a reference?????? also cannot believe they made me download that and reverse it so i could figure that out lmao

the killing kind: it wouldn’t be a mt album without a song that’s all over the place and somehow still cohesive and intriguing, huh? oh big mood for the intro, with the very great imagery of wandering a haunted house at night, staring into the shadows, and then ‘the killing kind’ - i think the whole thing is a super interesting concept, again, this acceptance of some of the fault in a failed relationship? ‘but you’ve been haunted too’ and yet not all of it, i think a lot of media represents things as black and white, with all the blame on one person, when that’s rarely the case? anyway, it’s interesting it’s addressed. ‘nevermore’ of course being another edgar allan poe reference (disclaimer there may be other references i’m missing since i’m not massively well-read in the horror genre) i’m also intrigued by ‘can’t get out / from under it / nevermore to leave here’, is that a lover dearest (x) reference? bc that’s what came to mind, honestly. again, excellent with the background vocals giving that eerie vibe. and then the stephen king ‘it’ reference with ‘we all float down here’. ngl that one feels a little forced but again, i’m like. not well-read in the horror genre so there may be more layers to that one than i know. ‘it gazes back / sings to me / i know my love can be the killing kind’ - i think this is interesting that it sings back, that feels very much like a callback that maybe their own previous songs are hinting at the love being ‘the killing kind’. also ‘you should never be here’ makes me think of something (x) the hard guitar/violins in the background during ‘here and now / this is it’ etc remind me of something else. and then ofc we have the astoria run/vocals (x) and then the ref to echoes of you (although it sounds like the slightest pitch lower than in echoes of you?) and then the whole bit with ‘don’t love the bottle’ i swear on my life it sounds like it comes from somewhere? same with the background melody? but i have no idea where, it just sounds like a reference. and then we have the background little melody (x) after he says ‘a hidden melody’ so it’s like reinforced that it’s a reference but idk where from rip lmao. edit: ty to the lovely anon who mentioned it’s from masterpiece theater!!!!! and once again a++++ use of a theremin in the background for max spooky vibes. also ‘evermore’ is totally a reference to ever after (x) along with the little lift after that (i assume) and then the whole acapella bit calls back to eleonora and the ‘now’ bit to something (x) plus the ‘hear me now’ from something wow i’m great at this game lmao as well as the ‘don’t you hear me’ part. ‘we could be together here / forever we’re together bound in madness’ i think again a lover dearest and then ofc we have the vocal runs from something (x) and then the strong background violin from another thing (yeah yeah i know they’re all references i just don’t know what from) and then he says ‘just hush eleonora’ which, as previously mentioned, is a very intriguing development from ‘don’t hush’ like this,,,,,,acceptance of the madness? and then ofc he says ‘eleonoria’ in ref to astoria. edit: also the whole ending is so so similar to the ending of ever after

Analyzing Questionable Content: Pages 1-50

And so it begins.

The very first comic of Questionable Content, posted way back in 2003 and what would eventually be Jeff Jacques’ claim to fame, the reason why everyone remembers his name and what has made him a wealthy man today.

…’s alright.

Of course, by modern standards it’s not very good. This was the early 2000s, the wild west of online artists who had nothing more than an art creation software and a dream. The Webcomic Review has a VERY good post about it right here, which explains what the landscape of webcomics were like around this time and why exactly Marten has a pet robot (tl;dr, EVERYONE had a pet robot in ye early days of webcomics because Megatokyo).

But aside from the… awkward art, this comic at least serves to set up the protagonist (as far as we’re aware right now, we’ll get into the roles of protagonists in QC later). He’s a lanky, assumedly average guy who hates where he is in life but doesn’t know what else to do or even where else to go…

…as he goes on to spell out two comics later. He’s unassuming, not really much you can say for or against him, miserable and stuck in a rut in his life that he’s too scared to escape. Sooo basically, freshly graduated college students – the exact kind of audience a RomCom like this would go after.

Oh, did I forget to mention?

Yeah, QC started off as a RomCom.

This young woman is Faye, and she immediately cuts through the bullshit with an aggressive but to-the-point introduction of herself and her intentions.

While aggressive and to-the-point, she’s also set up as someone who meshes with Marten and Steve’s interests well enough and quickly makes friends. This is probably best exemplified in the seventh page, which serves two purposes:

Purpose the First: Showcase Marten and Faye have a shared niche interest, immediately establishing chemistry between the two of them. Be it platonic or romantic, they’re quickly hitting it off and, being a RomCom, will serve as the first rope potential shippers can grasp onto.

Purpose the Second: Jeff is a MASSIVE indie music nerd and he wants the fucking world to know it.

Also Pintsize is there doing funny robot things because 2003 webcomic.

It’s not long before this initial relationship is set up that two issues serve to sew the seeds of initial conflict:

This, likewise, serves two purposes: To show where Faye works and create a believable life for her to exist in when she’s not in the story with Marten, and as previously stated to sew potential romantic conflicts in the future. Jeff employs this tactic many-a-time throughout the course of Questionable Content, beginning a conflict and letting the implications sit with the reader while life goes on in the regular comics. Is this good writing? I honestly can’t say. Is it always done well? Oh good God no, some plot beats are outright dropped or left to sit for so long the reader straight-up forgets it’s there with this method. But does Jeff make it work? It’s all on personal taste I’d say, but personally it sits well with me.

Also, for those of you wondering why it looks like the word “hump” is just pasted onto the text bubble in post… well it was. The original comic implied sexual assault much more overtly, using the R-word instead of “hump.”

*Away from mic* Wait, can-can I say [NOPE]? Better not to risk it? Alright, fair ‘nuff.

But yeah, this was pointed out by readers to be pretty fucked up and it was swiftly changed, for good reason.

Later that night, Faye asks Marten to dinner with her. Platonically, of course. And here I believe I should point out the dynamic of their relationship as it stands – Faye is the aggressor. Marten is basically a doormat. Whenever something happens, Faye is always the instigator, be it going out to dinner or tagging along with him when he’s getting shopping done. This will feed into their relationship dynamic and sets up a decent inter-personal conflict: Marten is far too passive to reach out to Faye and make the move to start something, but Faye, despite how openly and quickly she attaches herself to Marten’s life, never takes that step into making it romantic. The two clearly have the hots for each other, but their respective personalities make it so neither one crosses that threshold.

Yes I know this is basic character writing for a RomCom 101, but the fact that so much about these characters are said in 12 four-panel comics says a lot. It hooks the reader quickly and gets them on the page Jeff wants them to be, and I respect that.

And in the next page, Faye’s aggression takes on a new level, albeit extremely briefly.

This is an isolated incident of actual physical aggression rather than implications and threats in these first 50 pages, but it becomes a trend as we go along – one that feeds into Faye’s character, mind, so it’s not just physical abuse for humor’s sake – so just keep it in mind as we go along.

Also on a personal note the actual restaurant they go to is simultaneously the worst and best idea I’ve ever heard of:

This is horrible. I should not encourage this. And yet some dark part of me finds the concept utterly hilarious even though I know I’m a piece of shit for liking it.

Actually, now some part of me wants to do the exact opposite – advertise a place as a steakhouse only serve an all-vegan menu. It feels less mean but just as funny to me.

…oh right, the comic.

After sharing dinner, exchanging banter that establishes good chemistry and parting ways, we come to this comic that I’m only showing because I’m a slut for good puns and I will take any and all opportunities to share with people.

(Pintsize totally won that round with the John the Baptist zinger by the way, if I’m allowed to judge this.)

And one page later, we get the biggest shake-up in the comic thus far:

It’s established Faye herself ended up burning down the apartment because she burnt toast, but that’s not really important. I know, the fact Faye BURNT DOWN A BUILDING isn’t important sounds completely ridiculous, but follow me here – the important thing for this setup isn’t the how, but the why. “How did Faye’s apartment burn down?” isn’t the question Jeff, nor the audience, is intended to be asking, that’s merely a vessel into the situation we’re in – the answer of “Why did Faye’s apartment burn down?” which is, of course, so Marten and Faye can become roommates and facilitate future antics and further their relationship. Familiarity breeds into both affection and conflict, and the obvious case of “Well you two are already living together, aren’t you?” will serve to further the flames of their potential relationship with one another.

…granted, a better reason to create this setup would’ve been nice, and from a writing standpoint it’s ridiculous that Faye never suffers any consequences for burning an entire BUILDING down, one that had many more people than just her in it. If present-day Jeff wrote this plotline… actually. Now that I think about it, Jeff DOES re-do this plot point and make it make a lot more sense and have a lot more impact on everyone involved.

But we’ll get to that when we eventually talk about Brun…. Three thousand and something pages from now.

Either way, my point stands: This plot thread serves mostly to create the situation we’re facing now, one where Faye and Marten end up living together. This shake-up to the early comic settles us into the new status quo, one that we’ll be riding with comfortably for the foreseeable future.

Further evidence of Faye’s aggressive and troll-ish nature… one that may or may not play into future revelations about her, now that I think about it.

Remember what I said about sewing the seeds of drama? Well here we stand now – a misunderstanding, or the beginning of genuine conflict between these two?

The answer is… they talk it out like actual goddamn adults, avoiding a stupid, unnecessary fight.

Honestly? Kind of refreshing. But what makes it better is the following page:

Honestly? This moment never fails to make me laugh. The one-two punch of complete betrayal of the reader’s expectations as well as the utter dismantling and defusal of the romantic interest subplot between these two dorks – while denying some genuine romantic conflict that may force Faye into being more upfront with how she feels about the situation – is a fun denial of the kinds of RomCom clichés that one might expect to find in this story.

Sure, there are other stories that do this better, I’m not denying that. But isolated in a bubble, this stands by itself and, frankly, works well enough for the story Jeff’s telling.

Also say goodbye to Sara, once she walks out that door she goes to join the little sister from Family Matters and the big brother from Happy Days on the twisted Island of Irrelevancy, visiting the story only when she can spare the time to craft a raft out of banana leafs and... where was I going with this?

…okay, personal story time. The Walmart I’m doing contract work for this week has a CD display of new-ish albums, and honest-to-God I completely forgot music CDs were even a THING. MP3s have spoiled us, and I now feel old for some reason.

Right, getting back on track.

I wanted to show this comic to establish three things.

1) Marten is the kind of person who sits on things that bother him and lets them stew for awhile. As established in the previous image I showed with Marten and Steve at the music store, it’s been at least a day since what happened with Sara and Marten’s still thinking about it. This, for better or worse, becomes a core part of Marten’s character moving forward.

2) Faye, for all her faults, is a genuinely good friend who cares about Marten and knows when to channel her natural aggression into support rather than ribbing.

3) This is another comic that always makes me laugh whenever I read it. Yes I know that’s much less of a real reason than my other two points but let me have this dammit.

This particular page itself isn’t terribly important to the ongoing narrative but I wanted to include it because it introduces QC’s unquestionably best character, Jim. Hi Jim! I like Jim.

(He’s a minor character at best but he’s just so earnest and fun and every time Jeff brings him back he just gets better and better.)

Oh, and for those who were skeptical that the more-than-platonic interest was mutual between Marten and Faye, the next two issues serve to showcase that… yeah, both parties TOTALLY have the hots for each other.

The first of those two comics, by the way, gets called back to much later down the line. And the fact that Faye speaks in a southern accent is more than just a joke, it’s going to be touched on more later.

Jeff says in the description of this comic that this is based on personal experience, and it shows – this is the most backbone Marten displays to my memory.

And in the very next page, we’re introduced to a new character – although you wouldn’t guess it from her appearance.

That’s Raven. I like Raven. Her personality changes a ton once she’s properly introduced as a character and not a nameless employee, but for posterity’s sake: Here’s her very first appearance in the comic.

There’s only one more important comic to touch on in this batch of fifty, and it’s about both Marten and Faye’s families:

While this could be as simple as a “har-dee-har, my family drives me up the wall,” this comic serves to say a lot about both characters once we know more about their families. Both Marten and Faye actually have very good reasons why they don’t want to see their respective families or go back to their hometowns… Faye especially so. We’ll touch more on that when we get more into her backstory.

Before we wrap things up, I’d like to do a quick comparison between page 1 and 50 to see in what small, subtle ways Jeff’s artistry has improved:

There’s not a LOT of difference, but the small details really showcases just how different they look. Small changes from the placement of everything on Marten’s face, to the size of the eyes, the width of the eyebrows… It’s good shit.

Overall, what did I think of batch 1? Well… for an early 2000s webcomic, it’s engaging. The characters are likable, the plot is progressing at an enjoyable pace, and I’m already on-board to see if Marten and Faye will get together. I mean, I know the answer, but my point stands.

Also because I’m a freak or something and like data compilation I went ahead and kept track of who showed up in what comic and made some numbers for it:

Not counting the one guest comic and two non-canon pages, Marten showed up in 45/50 pages, being in 90% of the comic so far.

Faye was in 38/50 pages, taking up 76% of the comic so far.

Pintsize comes in third place being in 15/50 comics, taking up a paltry 30% of the comic thus far when compared to the screen time Marten and Faye have taken up.

Likewise, Steve has been in only 8/50 pages, making up 16% of the comic up to this point.

Sara was in 5/50 pages, making up 10% of these first 50. That percentile will grow smaller and smaller with each update, believe you me.

Jim was in 2/50 glorious pages, making up 4% of the comic up to this point. And that was the best 4% this comic had to offer, let me tell you.

Raven, although still unnamed, I’m counting – she’s in 1/50 of the first batch of pages, making up 2% of screen time.

Tune in next week as we continue onwards to pages 51-100 where we’ll be introduced to the next major character in the series, who’s mere existence will further the plot more than anyone we’ve previously met. See you then.

Machine Gun Kelly Claims High Of The Pop Charts With ‘Unhealthy Issues’

^ F. Holt, Style in Common Music (University of Chicago Press, 2007), ISBN 0226350398 , p. 56. Music contributes enormously to our lives as Christians. We sing, or at least sing alongside, in church, at dwelling, at parties, and even in the automotive to music from a whole bunch of composers, vocalists, instrumentalists, producers, and other artists stored on our smartphones, streaming companies, CDs, and radios. Christians in past centuries could not even think about such convenience or quantity. Yet music in church is a topic that has been a source of appreciable controversy over the past quarter century. As a music professor at Providence, and as a composer and former church music minister myself, I have usually pondered the many differences of opinion. Here are a couple of ideas, a few of that are extracted from my article printed in the June 2011 challenge of Christianity As we speak. Authoring a song that might launch almost a a hundred covers, ‘Hallelujah' is just a small sliver of Leonard Cohen 's immense contribution to music over the previous five a long time. The completed poet and https://www.goodreads.com novelist was the toast of the Montreal literary scene earlier than he turned to music to become the foremost songwriter of his era. His meditations on love, faith, despair and politics might be conveyed in even the simplest of terms. Songs like ‘Suzanne' and ‘Chook on the Wire' and ‘Sisters of Mercy' would cement his popularity as a in-demand folks songwriter, spawning hits for countless other artists, but nobody could substitute Cohen's deep, resonant voice. It's a huge mission and out of necessity Stanley is compelled to condense entire fascinating histories that probably deserve their own guide into only one chapter (I might love to learn a e-book concerning the Brill Building scene, for example, or riot grrl, about which I stay largely ignorant), however he's clearly acquired endless enthusiasm for pop and his dismissive angle to rockist bores or really anybody who takes themselves too seriously (fans of Patti Smith, Radiohead & The Doorways take be aware) is good.

Love Yourself 轉 'Tear' is the third Korean studio album by South Korean boy band BTS. The album was launched on Might 18, 2018 by Massive Hit Leisure. It is accessible in four versions and accommodates eleven tracks, with "Fake Love" as its lead single. The concept album explores themes regarding the pains and sorrows of separation. It debuted at primary on the US Billboard 200, changing into BTS' highest-charting album in a Western market, as well as the first Ok-pop album to prime the US albums chart and the very best-charting album by an Asian act.

Frankly I do not care if the music is pop or rock. Simply the tune and the lyrics needs to be my style and wise. I follow four rock bands :Disturbed, Evanescence, Breaking Benjamin and Within Temptation, cause I just really feel calm or evernote.com nice or excited by their music. I am only talking in regards to the songs, not the concerts because I reside in India and I've never been to any concert events. One of the important causes I don't like pop music a lot is as a result of they're all the time so cliched. It's both love songs or partying or drugs or sex. I am just feeling so damned tired of trendy pop music. I'm additionally afraid that rock is creating those type of attitudes and that is why I stick with solely 4 bands. In case you guys may suggest a brand new track for me, post your touch upon cretoxyrhinamantelli@gmail. com. That does not essentially mean that stupid people love pop — just that pop trains us to count on much less from our inventive and creative lives. Music can nourish our minds like almost nothing else, so when a mega-trade is devoted to selling the least inspired music they can, they're short-altering all of us. A survey of different research on music reveals that pop music has gotten worse over the last 50 years. Not only that, it's been used to brainwash listeners by way of predatory marketing strategies across all media channels. Do it sure? Or just keep behind some random hate weblog whereas having the most boring job of your life every day the place you are taking out all of your frustrations on a kind of music recognized throughout the world that does not even make it's a must to take heed to it. Folks say they don't seem to be fairly sufficient or they don't look too good everyday. It isn't simply in korean. It's in America, Europe, just about anyplace else you might consider. Guess what? In the event that they assume that means then they'll nonetheless turn out to be higher when they notice that they actually don't should attempt to be a sure look. The sounds of the 1960's straddled a large dichotomy between the last word commercialism with fully manufactured bands (like The Archies and The Monkees) and revolutionary artistry (Bob Dylan and Jimi Hendrix) with a few of the greatest singer-songwriters and instrumentalists emerging on the scene. There were additionally many bands and artists that walked the line between commercialism and Http://Www.Magicaudiotools.Com/ musical innovation like The Beatles, Simon & Garfunkel, and The Rolling Stones. The Beatles dominated the charts and spurred on the British Invasion that characterized a lot of the last decade.There are two singers. Each are accused of abuse, and by many accounts, both have done lasting harm to susceptible individuals. Personally, I think one singer makes completely banal music, so it is simple for me to be self-righteous and by no means hearken to him again. (The buzzword people have been utilizing lately for that is "canceled.") The other singer, nonetheless, has written songs that I've loved for many years, and whereas I've never really doubted his guilt, eradicating his music from my listening life has proved tough.The chords and notes used in 2016's biggest hits aren't unique; they're the identical exact ones we've been listening to because the invention of modern music around 1750 But by shifting a few notes right here and there, present pop artists can hold their songs from sounding predictable and give them a extra open-ended tone. Instead of touchdown again on the chord we expect it to, these songs lift again up into another observe, making the song extra buoyant, stunning, and dynamic.

October 10, 2018 Mix

Welcome to this week's installation of music! I loved finding tracks that blended well in terms of sound and meaning, as well as playing around with the pace of the pieces so not to cause monotony inside the eardrums. Enjoy and any suggestions/opinions, send my way

Spotify Playlist (Listen in order!) 1. Walls by The Lumineers - First off, can I just say how excited I am to see new music from a group who never seems to disappoint both my ears and my heart. While listening for the first time I thought, "Wow what a great song, but this sounds kind of familiar" so when I showed it to my mom she said "Of course it sounds familiar, it's a cover of one of Tom Petty's songs" and then it made my heart that much fuller knowing that. Petty is known to have the American writing way of describing through metaphor exactly how love and relationships feel at a moment suspended in time. Using that craftsmanship and words that cut to the bone, The Lumineers created a cover that is so folky and vulnerable sounding, I am sure that Petty would not be disappointed in it. 2.  I've Just Seen A Face by The Beatles - Continuing with classics that we may find hidden in corners of our mind, that pop out into existence from time to time, is this wonderful treasure from the Help! album, a beloved album to me and most of the world, I'm sure. I specifically chose this track because the title definitely created a supernatural element in my mind that translated to the feeling that love often gives, which is that it transcends regular human volition. It causes this reaction that cannot be expressed through regular conversation and absolutely needed to be sung about, which to me, is fantastic. Also, the really fast and frantic pace of the song adds to the urgency of the message of seeing someone in passing and instantly feeling a surge of love and the need to be with them at the moment. Falling in love is sometimes done in a slow motion type fall, but in this instance, it seems more immediate. 3. Moon Barks At The Dog by Saintseneca - The lyrical value that this song has is endless, and quite honestly, I could spend a long time doing an in depth analysis of this piece line by line, but for now I won't. The main thing I wanted to go in depth with a little bit is this image of the moon barking at the dog, which is just such a strange and abstract concept to grasp. Of course, the typical thing that someone would refer to is the dog barking at the moon, which is apparently a reference to the famous statement (I had no idea this existed): "It is common for the dog to bark at the moon, but if the moon barks back, the dog becomes famous." As a person who loves strange expressions, this has quickly become one of my favorites. There is also an entire verse that nods to Bruce Springsteen and his music not being the singer's cup of tea, which I disagree, but appreciate the reference anyway. 4. Los Ageless (cover) by The Wombats - I would say I'm sorry about including another version of the same song within two months, but I am not sorry at all because it is my firm belief that different versions of the same song can change it entirely and bring fresh perspective and possibly a new interpretation of meaning. Originally a St. Vincent song from her amazing album Masseducation, it was a more techno rock sound for sure, but this alternative group brought it down with a more acoustic sound fleshed out through it. I don't think the sound was altered so much that it changed the composition entirely, but the male voice for sure gave it a perspective which I was not expecting. To have a male singer express the notion "How could anybody have you and lose you and not lose their minds too?" makes me feel a glimmer of hope to diminish toxic masculinity. 5. More Than Romantic Love by St. Lenox - I don't know exactly what to classify this as and to be fair, I'm not sure that putting this artist in a box would be serving him justice in any way. I felt that I was having a conversation with a fellow new yorker while really really cool, eclectic music was playing in the background. And I loved it. Just all of the references to living in a place in time where you are losing someone because you cannot accept the fact that they only want a platonic love, not romantic. This goes deeper though, and examines how to deal with someone who is going through personal struggle and how to reach them emotionally while being sensitive to their needs. St. Lenox has such a soulful conversational tone that speaks freely about mental health, breakup and the nervousness of the city, also shout out to Washington Square. He's an artist on the rise for sure. 6. This Is The Day by The The - This is a classic example of a song with an upbeat, generally happy sounding tune that literally step by step tells about the woes that a person with depression has to go through. It actually really reminded me of a Smiths song, where the mood totally does not match the words, and this is a trope I absolutely love to see in older music. The image of eyes being red and burning when seeing daylight is so profound because insomnia is one of the main traits of depression, so this feeling of always feeling tired in the daytime is so relatable to hear about in song, which I never have before. The synthesized sound and the acordion that are strung throughout the song really emphasize the dichotomy of the sound and feeling, which also add the layer of how you look on the outside doesn't always match how you are on the inside. 7. Greyhound by Calpurnia - Have you ever made future plans with someone you are in a relationship with, thinking that basically you'll be with them forever, and then suddenly, the time for that plan comes around, except you're not together anymore? Yeah? Me too, and apparently the writer of this song was in this exact position because that's essentially what it's about to put it in base question format. But what really satisfied me concerning this song was not the super relatable storyline aspect, but the sarcastic way of telling something pretty sad, which seemed like an epic breakup and heart break. The whole "hats of to you, for you to go" is so sassy and like a middle finger in the center of a song about still having feelings for an ex-love, which was so fun to see. I hope the subject of this song listened to this song. 8. 15 Minutes by The Strokes - Whenever asked my top favorite bands, they are always at the top of the list. I don't know exactly what resonates with me, but I have been trying to pin point the moodiness and exacerbated feelings for awhile that me and this band seems to always share. I think it's the way that Casablancas always mutters some really sad yet humorous things while hard core guitar comes in and really great drum beats and a bass line are right in line with it. This song is no exception because it totally defies the meaning of telling someone how you feel and being comfortable with oneself about it; if I may be so bold, I think it generally classifies how one with lots of anxiety would go about telling feelings from a real perspective, rather insecurely and with the approach of joking about emotions in a very honest way. 9. Think I'm Still In Love With You by Joyce Manor - A new album by an awesome punk, angsty, emo rock band, news I will never be upset to hear about. Specifically, this artist has so many different qualities going past the initial relatable angst you feel when listening to the many, many, many songs they have about not being able to get over something or feeling like a burden in someone else's life constantly. This song has a clear shift in feeling though because the uncertainty is definitely present in terms of wanting to still be in love with someone because of a past emotion, but now things seem a bit hazier and they aren't so sure if the feelings are still quite there. This song comes about midway through the album, a really great placement on their part because it signifies perhaps a shift in weather during a one sided relationship and perhaps things will change thereafter. 10. So Tied Up by Cold War Kids and Bishop Briggs - Oftentimes I speculate from an outsider's look at a song, and piece together the meaning in relation to both the music and my own life. In this instance, I didn't really have to do so because the artist actually shared exactly what his intentions were with the meaning behind this song. He said, "With every new relationship, you either talk about previous relationship stuff (warts and all), or you just pretend like they never existed. Both are kinda terrible. When you go the full disclosure route it’s probably sincere, maybe you’re even praised for your vulnerability. However, you know it’s probably gonna be used against you later, in a fight, in the worst way." So that's that, and in terms of the gospel vibes I received from this alt rock song, I am very happy and get really pumped walking down the street to it. 11. Days On A Wire by Case - This instantly gives me the image of watching a movie scene where one person is lovingly thinking about another and kind of like sitting on a train looking out the window and considering their feelings, all wrapped up in desire. So now that I have shared my mental scene, let me explain that the really awesome acoustic with horns sounds that are produced in this piece add to the love song vibes that is perceived while listening. Also, the singer's voice is super dreamy and light, at some points seeming like barely more than a whisper of phrases, adding to the whimsical elements involved in the song. Actually, the horns in this song kind of act as a guitar usually would in terms of a melodic riff that occurs between verses and choruses, and I love this difference of instruments, a unique sound. 12. In The Morning I'll Be Better by Tennis - Taking some else's pain away is the hardest thing to do, especially when it's something not curable by care and devotion on it's own, but that's precisely what the artist is intending to say in this piece, which is tragically beautiful. So originally, I perceived this to be about someone's mental anguish and a relationship of sorts attempting to remedy this suffering by acceptance and love. In fact, this is not what the artist meant, but it's still a cool interpretation if I do say so myself. It was revealed that the writer's friend was deemed terminally ill and this was their way of processing the emotions that go into realizing that someone is most likely not going to get better. It is a love song that goes beyond love, but more about the wanting to take someone's pain and endure it so they don't have to. 13. Clueless by The Marías - Yes, yes, yes. My exact thoughts when seeing that this group came out with new music, when listening to the first few bars of the song, and then again when hearing the song two full times through (once for sound and another for words and meaning). The palpable tension heard in the song is so real for so many people when having an argument and to match the tension is the dialoguing throughout that basically says they can't handle the ups and downs going through the relationship anymore. I read that this was inspired by a spat between the vocalist and her significant other, drummer-producer Josh Conway. This revelation was incredible because imagine being in a band and a relationship with someone and having to create music while a major fight is going on. Me neither. 14. Running by Nicotine's Famous Honey - If I could title this anything other than what it is, I would title it "The Art of Just Barely Getting By In Our Fucked Up World" but that would not be as aesthetic as this aptly titled name. In the past, I have publicly argued against certain styles of music, simply because I knew less about music and didn't listen to enough genres on a regular basis. I am still trying to broaden my horizons, especially in terms of R&B and the Hip Hop genre in general, but this under emphasized artist is such a beautiful example of taking one genre that is criticized for being cliched and overdone and taking it to a whole different level. I love this combination of dream-pop, low-fi indie and hip hop and R&B all in one piece, and if you haven't looked into them, definitely check out some of their other music, it is so enticing. 15. Weird Honey by Elvis Depressedly - I'm taking the meaning of this song entirely from the artist because I think it can be interpreted a hundred different ways, depending on who you are thinking about while listening to it and what kind of mental state you are in too. Also we love to see an iconic guitar riff thrown in sporadically to a pretty sad low fi rock song, so that's a pretty cool spot in hell. The meaning though: "I lied before. It’s just an homage to Jesus and Mary Chain, and has no direct meaning. This is a love song so it could be seen as a pet name, or even a symbol of a love that is strange and new but full of sweetness. I find it incredibly strange that so many people have interpreted this song to be so negative, or even a break up song, when it’s the opposite. It’s a song about new love." There you have it. 16. Wings In All Black by Gregory Alan Isakov - If you are looking for an acoustic folk artist who puts emphasis on literally every single word and note of a song, look no further, he is right here, and also in my soul forever. Hailing from his brand new album, is this gem which sinks your heart to your stomach almost immediately upon listening. I believe this to be about having to rise up out of a really dark time in your life, despite not wanting to, the fact that instead of feeding the beast of loss, you have to grow wings of your own and fight against the demons you are experiencing. The image of having "wings in black" is a nod to the struggle between staying down in a bad place and having to come out of it no matter how impossible it seems at the time. I am now noticing a lot of these songs have to do with dealing with loss and mental health day by day, which is very important. 17. Should I by Arum Rae - I have to give entire props and credits for this song to my wonderful mother, who is always good for sending me songs to listen to on a weekly basis. Particularly, I first heard this song on my ferry ride home to New Jersey for the first time since leaving for college this year, so it has earned a really special place in my heart for the year. The piano is so present in this song, which as I have mentioned in previous posts, you don't get to see a lot in newer slow songs, which have become taken over by guitar a lot of the times. Also, Rae's voice questioning her every move and overthinking all her choices for the future is so heart felt and honest that you can't help but empathize with these feelings. The message of the song is maybe taking things one step at a time is the healthiest thing you can do when things get overwhelming in life. Yes. 18. How by Daughter - Ok, so finding out that most of the songs I have chosen for this week's mix surround the topics of loss and grieving past versions of self has become super illuminating in terms of my own maturation process. Staying topic though, this group always sheds light on the painful emotions rather than the pleasurable ones, which sometimes creates a dreary mood, but I like to view it as not being afraid to voice some negativity in order to clear it out of one's mind, which many people are apprehensive to do. This song describes pain as being in slow motion and I can't explain why that is true, but it is. The lines "hold me back, hold me back" in reference to wanting to go get someone that they have lost is so crucial to the theme of the song which is moving on from something while still having regrets in regards to the situation, feeling cheated or let down by someone. 19. Killer by Phoebe Bridgers - This playlist began with this song all by it's lonesome, but all along I knew that the rest of the pieces would be built around this, so I guess this has to be the reason why all the songs are so deeply related with one another. You may be thinking, wow I can't believe this song is about one's own death, this is really morose and ominous. Yes, I totally agree and think that it's really sad and death related, but knowing that it goes deeper than that is really vital to appreciating it's beauty. This is about a relationship being buried away and while doing so, dredging up all the past memories of loving a person. There is no remedy for knowing that two people are too much for one another, but this soulful lament is definitely a start. Also, Bridgers has noted that this song is in reference to Ryan Adams, famed songwriter who had a short fling with her when she was pretty young. 20. WALLS by Kings Of Leon - I did this on purpose, I made the first and last song both titled "walls" for a particular reason. I think they both serve very different purposes and perspectives to the metaphorical walls that are being broken down and simultaneously built up within a relationship. In the covered song that the Lumineers did, we see a shift to a more positive message of hearts having walls and climbing them is a struggle, but that it is worth it for the love we get to experience on the other side of it. In contrast, this very low tempo song (especially for Kings of Leon) is about kind of the exact opposite. This is about a man's ego being utterly shattered, exemplifying walls being torn down, in order to love a woman who just took his heart with her when she left. I don't think it's all sad though; I think this experience of walls coming down around someone to experience true loss of a person is so important for personal growth and strength. Thanks for listening and reading into things really deeply with me, catch you next week! Love & Listening,

Julia 

U2- Songs of Experience REVIEW

U2’s newest album is a sequel of sorts to their 2014 album, Songs of Innocence. Taking the titles from poet William Blake, but the titles are more conceptual than expected here. Innocence looked back at a younger group, and how they've evolved since their start back in the late 1970’s. It was an album that fit nicely into the story that U2 have been building since the start of the millennium, being a great (but basic) rock group. Songs of Experience can't help but fall into some of the same traps as any late period U2 album, with a few ballads that just sit there, but a good chunk of the album backs up it’s title, with U2 shaking up their usual formula just enough. This album is easily the most direct sequel to another work that U2 has ever done. The band has played with the concept of sibling albums before (Achtung Baby and Zooropa, All That You Can’t Leave Behind and How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb) but this time there’s song ideas that show back up, and even the cover is a call back with a son and daughter on the cover (the previous album had Clayton’s son on the cover), and the girl wearing a helmet (a call back to War). The delays that prevented Experience from coming out sooner was frustrating at first. It's been a while since U2 has put out an album that hasn't been an event, and here is another one. While it's a more muted release than usual for the group, they're still trying their hardest to put out relevant songs for their fans, themselves and rock music. Lead singer, Bono had a bicycle accident that put him in the hospital. It’s an event that Bono doesn't directly discuss on the album or interviews (part of this plays into the self-mythology that U2 have been building since 2001 (it does have shades of Dylan’s motorcycle accident)). “I shouldn't be here/I should be dead” Bono sings on “Lights of Home”, it's tiny moments like this that make Song of Experience stand out. The opening track, “Love is All We Have Left” is the most mellow opening of any U2 album, and it perfectly sets the stage for everything else that follows. A flourish of light strings and horns swirl around as Bono practically whispers/croons the song (Bono described the song as “Frank Sinatra singing on the moon” and the description is apt). “You’re The Best Thing About Me” and ballad “The Little Things that Give You Away” are both really good U2 songs that have the typical Edge guitar jangle, but it's Bono’s deeply passionate vocals that keep these songs afloat. Bono’s voice is just as strong as ever and he keeps other songs alive that shouldn't have worked. The back half of Experience is messy at times. “Landlady” is strikingly honest, it would have fit in well with their previous album, but some of the lyrics fall flat, and not even Bono’s vocals can save lines like “I’ll never know what starving poets meant”. America has always loomed large in U2’s mythology, back to The Unforgettable Fire, their criticism of it’s worst commercial aspects on Pop, and one of the most important post 9/11 albums, All That You Can't Leave Behind. Songs of Experience works much better than it should because U2 is the last American rock band, and they've once again offered a collection of hopeful songs in a dire political situation. The band purposefully delayed and redid some of the album after the US election. They head back to California on “Summer of Love” (its like a direct sequel to “California (There is no end to love)”, it's an upbeat song that coasts along, and lifts during the reprise (“when all is lost/we find out what remains”). “The Blackout” is a powerful, propulsive throwback rock song, much like “Volcano” (the bass on this song is perfect) but this time it's all about America, and persisting in dark times. Optimism is the theme here, and it's a much needed one too. “Love is Bigger Than Anything in It’s Way” brings an obscure version of brightness (compete with bird chirps towards the end). Last year, Kendrick Lamar put out DAMN, and on “XXX” Bono pops up, and sings about America. It's a powerful moment that fit perfectly with the song. Bono sounds distant, an elder statesman. U2 showing their age, and respectfully handing the torch to a younger generation. “It's not a place/this country is a sound of drum and bass”, Bono sings and he brings back the exact same lines on “American Soul”. That song is fused with “Get Out of Your Own Way” to create the most advanced U2 song in quite some time. “Get Out of Your Own Way” continues the theme of optimism, and America (Lincoln’s ghost is even brought up) and the song flips “XXX”, this time a U2 track that puts Lamar towards the end. Lamar’s lines move from the end of the track into “American Soul”, a song that also directly uses the riff from “Volcano”. This isn't just U2 cutting and pasting onto a new album. It's self-aware statement by the entire group. Sometimes, a song is so good, that it deserves to brought up again. And sometimes, a newer, scarier world has accentuated certain aspects of songs that have no other choice than to be redone. “13 (There is a Light)” closes Songs of Experience by redoing “Song for Someone”. By having a more mellow sound than “Song for Someone”, it's a great way to close the album and serves a mirror to the opening track in mood. By placing the song into a new context of American political unrest, Bono has taken a deeply personal song and left it open to America. “There is a light you can't always see If there is a world we can't always be If there is a dark that we shouldn't doubt And there is a light don't let it go out” Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

Salvation through writing 2: Life goals and horny Frank Ocean

There’s a phrase in Japanese called Ikigai, it contains the character for living 生 and the character for worth 甲斐 combining to mean “reason for being’’. There’s a philosophy around it mainly dissected on Youtube about how Japan believes everyone has a job that they’re right for. You know you’re ‘doing Ikigai’ when you find a job nourishes your soul whilst benefiting society. Finding a job that you’re good at, you enjoy doing, something that benefits society and puts food on the table is the path to a fulfilling life.

This concept of Ikigai is applies to everyone. Not everybody wants to be a rich professional entrepreneur/snake oil salesman. Everybody has their own unique skillset, strengths and weaknesses that suit a variety of vocations. Ikigai asserts that some people genuinely enjoy and take satisfaction in performing tasks others might deem menial. Therefore, anybody can find their Ikigai; be it a janitor, bureaucrat or international hip hop artist.

After the decade defining album ‘Blonde’, Frank Ocean graduated from teenage melancholy and angst with a drip feed of more upbeat, confident tracks. In one of these tracks ‘In My Room’ he raps “got this lust for life in me, horny for the game,” and then precedes to wax lyrical about all his achievements and bravado. These post Blonde tracks have this maturity and confidence to them. If he was reminiscing about uncertainty and the teenage experience in Blonde, he was well and truly growing up now. Forging deeper connections and leaving deeper scars.

(In My Room cover art, I tried to recreate this shot and failed)

Frank Ocean writes music, he seems to enjoy it and he’s damn well good at it too. He profits from it and, if the amount of times Blonde appears on Best Album of the decade lists is any indication, his music is well received by society.

So, if Frank Ocean’s Ikigai is being horny for the game? What’s mine?

In 2014 I went through what is still up until this day the lowest point in my life. To begin with I’d graduated university with a useless degree and was having a very hard time finding any work relating to it all. My casual job had dried up,I wasn’t only wayward but poor now too. The final blow was realising I was romantically interested in my best friend’s sister, only to then be rejected and see them both fade from my life in quick succession.

I was alone, I was embarrassed, and I actively hated waking up every day. I dreaded consciousness itself. I didn’t want to think about anyone or anything. I’d dull myself with junk food and video games. Holed up in my room for 14 hours a day, trying to get to the gym or even take my dog for a walk was a challenge. I got to the point where I tried to make a schedule for myself. Really small goals like going for a walk or going to the gym. The hardest thing I had to do was watch an arthouse movie a day, and I couldn’t even manage that.

I was in this state and I felt I had nobody I could turn to. I didn’t know how to explain it to my friends my own age and I didn’t want my parents to worry any more than they were. Then I remembered a mature age student from university, who would always have this way of making me feel alright about life when we chatted. I still had his number from months prior and when I felt I was at breaking point, I called. He listened to my ramblings and even gave me part time work at his cafe. He then sincerely said to me that I should seek some professional help, be that counselling or psychiatry. I truly valued his opinion in that hearing this didn’t feel like something I could blow off. It felt like a shockwave. He was genuinely worried for my wellbeing. I owed it not only to myself but also to him to seek help. So I did exactly that.

I visited the doctor’s office I’d been going to for years (often with embarrassing issues) yet talking about my mental health felt leagues more difficult. He asked if I wanted to see someone that could prescribe me drugs or if I just wanted to see a psychologist. I recall jokingly saying something like ‘it wasn’t real depression so a psychologist would be fine.’ He didn’t smile or laugh and just gave me a referral.

I drove to Sunshine and attended my first session of five free counselling sessions.

Throughout these sessions, it was honestly hard to gauge if I got anywhere. After all, you’re just talking and it’s really your actions outside the room that facilitate the change. As we talked, the psychologist suggested that the cause of almost all my issues was not having a steady job and if I just got one of them, then I’d be fine. If I just filled my time with work, I’d be too busy to really think about everything else that mattered. He believed it was the joblessness that was causing all this; I needed to get out of the muck immediately. However, I was on the other end of the spectrum, I wanted to go down as far as I could. I had romanticised reaching some sort of true rock bottom because I thought then, and only then, could I build myself back up. The five free sessions ended and I was convinced I wasn’t ‘really depressed’ and stopped going after that. What I got out of it was that I needed to work.

While not knowing the full brunt of what was going on with me, my friends and family also encouraged finding some kind of permanent job. After some failed attempts and Centrelink lines, I struck gold. Through sheer luck I landed a full-time job at a pretty nice cafe. This wasn’t a career or some sort of path forward, it was a plug to stop the depression. I told myself if I’m working, then nearly all my problems would go away. I never stopped and asked myself why at the time though. Why am I working? Am I working towards something or just working?

(Blonded)

I’d hole myself up at the cafe for the next 2 years of my life. Those two years were pure autopilot. I didn’t have any goals, I was working five days a week, seeing my friends on my days off, rinse and repeat. The only thing I remember about this time was the vague goal of moving to Japan for a year; which eventually became a reality.

The word ‘brave’ got thrown around a lot when I told people I was leaving. I liked the compliment, but it didn’t sit right with me. By the time I was about to move, I’d spent the previous 3 years working almost exclusively with people who weren’t from Australia originally, or people who were here on working holiday visas. I was just doing the same as they were. Another language and a completely different culture didn’t make me brave all of a sudden. I wasn’t entering a new country with rose coloured glasses or illusions about what I was doing there.

(Back when study was a lot easier)

So I set off and spent a year bumbling around in Tokyo, being poor, having little breakdowns and locking myself away when it got too tough occasionally. This didn’t feel brave. I’d work in cafes and restaurants in the upper class areas of Tokyo, my bosses would tell me x person was famous for this and y person was famous for that. I’d see these excessive bills and displays of wealth every day and every night. I’d then ride the shabby elevator down to the staff room and get changed out of my uniform as I tried to figure out if I had enough cash to get a snack from the convenience store. I was doing the exact same thing as I was in Australia just with a different background, I wasn’t improving. There was no job trajectory. Another loop of nothing. Killing more time, I could have done this forever and fool myself into thinking it was alright because it had a different coat of paint.

So I left Tokyo.

I went North to Hokkaido, hoping to find something better, and for a time I did. It was a barista job like the others, but with opportunities to do more. I went from just making coffee to modelling, translating (badly), interpreting (also badly) and eventually roasting coffee. I felt on the up. I was getting pretty damn good at my job: bringing in people from overseas, helping my company forge new friendships and leave a mark on the Japanese coffee scene. After 18 months of hard work and study I finally had a working visa, a semblance of normalcy and a direction.

I began to envision myself in the future with an even better job and a better grasp of the language. I’d made friends and I could even see myself living in Japan permanently. Also, I was in love. Boy, was I convinced I was in love. This feeling just gripped me, overwhelmed my senses and completely rearranged my priorities. Up until now, such feelings had always been one-sided or unreciprocated. Although this time the feelings flowed both ways. I’d light up to see her name on my phone; we’d talk about the future for hours on end as I’d envision us growing old together. I’d imagine our families meeting for the first time, moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, having kids. Things that felt so foreign, now seemed obvious with her. I felt like I had at least figured out one aspect of my life by now; I had someone beside myself to strive for. I wanted to make a future not only for myself, but for us.

My life finally felt balanced, I was doing a job that I was good at it, I was making a living abroad and my personal life finally felt at peace.

Yet here’s the thing, I began to realise I wasn’t doing any of it right. I wasn’t as satisfied as I was tricking myself into thinking I was. To begin with, I couldn’t see myself doing this job for the rest of my life. The merit of it being a stepping stone onto something better also seemed farfetched now. I’d never get fully out of coffee while still being in coffee.

Once I realised how much this job wasn’t right for me anymore, I began to notice the red flags. The days felt more repetitive and repetitive, my higher ups got verbally abusive, and I didn’t stand up for myself. I was demoted and sent to work far off in a ski resort nobody else wanted to go to. Back to serving the people rich enough to be in a such a resort reminded me of how little I’d really done. I felt like I was back in Tokyo spinning my wheels. The distance of the resort also meant I went from seeing my friends almost every day to about once every couple of months. The isolation began to kick in.

At least I still had my relationship, right? Well, those feelings I wrote about; I fought myself in an attempt not to show them. I spent all of my energy trying to fight them at the time because I thought it was too much. I’d not reply to messages, be vague and try to pretend our relationship wasn’t all I thought about it. I had all of this inside me, wanting to show the world and my partner how I felt. Yet I never matured to that point; I never had the confidence to just say how I felt in the present.

Relationships can’t live on lies for long and before I knew it mine had slipped through my fingers as well.

(Shaved my head and flew to Tokyo for a $500 cup of coffee)

It was now the end of 2019: work was awful, I’d self-sabotaged a real relationship, and I was stuck in this ski resort doing nothing. I felt like I had done all this work only to end up back to where I’d started; I was looping. I seriously contemplated ending that loop. Unlike the way I was in 2014, I felt like I’d actually tried this time. I’d gotten out there, found work, found meaning, found substance. Yet it felt so moot. I felt like I’d done nothing for anyone around me except, at the least, inconvenience them, and at worst, hurt them. I was making the same mistakes, wasting my own time and everyone else’s. For the first time in years, I broke down crying on the phone to my close friend, just despairing over the futility of it all.

That spiral continued on through all of 2020. I made more mistakes. I revisited places I shouldn’t have and before I knew it, it was snowing, and I was back in the same damn ski resort. I knew something had to change, yet I was doing absolutely nothing about it. This mediocrity was crushing me spiritually, but I was safe inside the familiarity. I could do that job until I died.

I was back to being scolded from superiors, being disconnected from my friends (again) and most of all being dishonest to myself. People often say of life changing moments, things like ‘I knew at that moment what I had to do’ or ‘I decided then and there’. I’ve always stumbled in and out of life changing events, never quite prepared and never sure things are going to be as definitive as they become. This time though it felt different. I sat down with my boss and heard about his ideal future for me. I realised I wanted nothing to do with it. So I told him as much and fortunately, he understood.

Now, for the first time since leaving university I’m about to become unemployed.

Here’s what surprises me upon reflection. I’m not nervous about it at all. That huge sense of dread that accompanied me when I finished university isn’t here. Leaving on my own terms feels good. It feels empowering and often overwhelming, yet knowing I put myself into this situation makes me believe that it’s all going to be alright. There’s nobody nudging me to quit, I just know I’m done with this part of my life. I need to do more; I can do more. It’s imperative for my own health and for those around me that I do more. I know what my own hell looks like because I’ve been there for the last 18 months. It stands to reason that to get out of it I need to do the opposite of what I’ve been doing. There isn’t a blueprint to follow so much as there’s pages of journal entries guiding me on what not to do. I have one page in my diary that is just ‘I HAVE GIFTS AND I SQUANDER THEM’ written until the page ends.

Yet there’s something still lingering. A question I ask myself more and more often. Why though? Why do I need to do more? What am I working towards? What am I doing it for?

Self-help books, Instagram influencers and Jordan Peterson lectures talk about envisioning a future and then aiming for that, using an ideal future as something to strive for. Take a second, imagine what you would want if there was nothing stopping you (within reason), then make a plan, and strive for that. You can then categorise whatever you do on a daily basis as things that either help or hinder that ideal future. My problem with this is that I can’t write up an ideal future because I honestly don’t know what I want for myself. I’ve sat myself down on occasion and tried asking myself. I’ve been writing these pieces as a way to flesh thoughts out in an attempt to strike gold. There are things I’m interested in, but not all that good at, when I go to study them or get better, I don’t see an endgame to it. If I’ve got enough media, friends and a work life balance it seems I can keep sailing by, but I really want to know what is the point of heading any direction?

I can’t envision a future with me in it, let alone an ideal one where I’m ‘living my best life’. It is almost as if I have replaced my fear and anxiety about the future with ambivalence. Whereas I used to think about the future and break down, I now just think about it and refuse to believe it will ever happen. I don’t associate negative emotion with these thoughts, I just think it’s useful to observe them. Barring a miracle, I don’t think I’m going to wake up one day and never think these thoughts again. I oscillate between the above nihilism and this belief that I can do more, be better and improve myself. I’m writing in an attempt to reconcile such a contradiction.

We arrive back at Frank Ocean, his lust for life and Ikigai. While Frank seems to have taken time to work something out with himself, I’m still not quite there. I haven’t found my passion (horny for the game, in other words) yet given time I know I’ll be lusting for life, too. It’s a selfish journey for now, but it’s one that’s arguably made progress. I look back at 20-year-old me, slumped down on the kitchen floor bawling my eyes out, my dog trying to nudge her way into my face to see what’s wrong. I realise now that I was at that rock bottom I wanted to reach. I had zero clue about what to do with myself then and really no forward trajectory. Now I at least have some sense of where to go, obtained through mistakes, courage, and self-inquiry. It’s not the inspiring 180 that people like to read, but it’s an improvement nonetheless. I’m still figuring it out as I go. I can be certain of one thing, I’ll keep making mistakes. I can take those mistakes and turn them into progress. Little by little that progress may one day account for something amazing.

LESSON 4: ONLINE PLATFORMS

Content Standards

the principles and techniques of design using online creation tools, platforms, and applications to develop ICT content for specific professional tracks

Performance Standards

At the end of the 2-week period independently apply the principles and techniques of

design using online creation tools, platforms, and applications to create original or derivative ICT content for use in specific professional tracks.

These may be in the form of, but not limited to:

1. Survey instruments using Google forms (Business/ Academic)

2. Athletic match-ups and league standings using Mindmeister (Sports)

3. Catalogues/Swatches/ options for products and services using Prezi (TechVoc)

4. Online photo album of artistic works or photographs using Picasa (Arts)

5. Online music production using Sibelius (Music)

Most essential learning Competencies

The learners will be able to:

10. apply web design principles and elements using online creation tools, platforms,

and applications to communicate a message for a specific purpose in specific professional tracks

11. create an original or derivative ICT content using online creation tools, platforms, and applications to effectively communicate messages related to specific professional tracks how to manipulate text, graphics, and images to create ICT content intended for an online environment

True or false p.50 old

NATURE AND PURPOSES OF ONLINE PLATFORMS

Technopedia defines “platform” in computing as the operating system and computing hardware. It follows a set of standards that enables software developers to develop software applications from the platform. These standards allow openers and managers to purchase appropriate applications and hardware.

According to Marc Andreessen on his blog, a platform is “a system that can be programmed and therefore customized by outside developers—users—and in that way, adapted to countless needs and niches that the platforms original developers could not have possibly contemplated, much less had time to accommodate,”

Level 1 Access API

API means application programming interfaces. It is the most common type of internet platform. The apps on this level run elsewhere and call into the platform via web services API to draw on data and services. On this level, the processes of building and running the application itself is solely done by a developer who possesses both technical expertise and financial resources.

Level 2—Plug-in API

This is the kind of platform approach that, historically, has been used in end- user applications to let developers build new functions that can be injected or plugged into the core system and its user interface. Non internet examples include Photoshop and Firefox. The best online example of thesis hottest platform thus far the Facebook

Level 3— Runtime Environment.

In a level 3 Platform, the huge difference is that the third-party application code actually runs inside the platform—developer code is uploaded and runs inside the platform—developer code is uploaded and runs online, inside the core system. For this reason, Level 3 platform, referred to as “online platforms” in casual conversation, is most favorable. Examples include Andreessen’s own Ning and Saleforce.com

WEB DESIGN PRINCIPLES

According to Cleversim. “Web design is a concept of planning, creating and maintaining websites,” It is the process of process of creatively designing and constructing a website and updating it regularly to incorporate changes.

Designing for a web publication equates o communication. Visuals on a webpage are utmost importance since it is one of the ways on how you can communicate with the viewer.

Here are some principles to follow I effective designing your web page or site.

Visual Hierarchy

This explains the ordering which human eye perceives what is sees. This is a technique wherein, as the developer. You have to distinguish the importance of every part of your web page. Elements should be ranked according to its importance and your objectives. It can be shown through the use of varying sizes and amount of content.

Proportion

You can make use of the golden ratio, a magical number approximately equal to 1.618 that makes all things proportioned so as to make a design aesthetically pleasing. Then there is also the Fibonnaci sequence where each term is defined as the sum of the two previous terms: 0.1.1.2.3.5.8.13.21, and so on.

As the designer, you should keep in mind the proper division of the contents of your web page to avoid crowding the view.

If your layout is 960px, divide it by 1.618 (=593px). if the website height is 760px tall, you can split it into 470px and 290 px chunks (760/1.618= - 470).

Hick’s Law

This law can be considered as a guideline for decision-making in a viewers perspective.

Hick’s law states that “with every additional choice, the time required to make a decision increases.” This law does not only hold true for web design but also in a number of other situations and settings. This means that we need to reduce the number of choices in order to provide a better user experience.

Fitts Law

According to this law, the time we needed to move a target is dependent upon the size of the target as well as the distance to the target. This means the larger the object or target and the shorter the distance, the easier would it be to move it or reach it. However, this does not mean that the bigger, the better but that usability factor of a target runs as a curve and not as a straight line.

Accessibility

When the visitors see the website, he or she must be able to access each bit of information in the easiest manner Typefaces must be readable to all and is not too fancy for some to access or understand. Ake your own color palette and choose contrasting colors for the background and written content so that it can be easily read. Make sure your images are of high-quality and are suitable for your purpose, and have alternative text for images for those who are visually impaired.

Visible Language

A web page design should communicate with the users clearly and in an engaging manner. The following are the principles for a successful visual language: organize, economize, and communicate.

White Space and Simple Design

White space helps divide the web page into several distinct part or areas that make it simpler for the users to process information. He following are some of the other things that can be considered as a part of the simple design:

Regular testing

Test Early and Test often, or TETO, is another wen principle that all designers and website owners must consider. Conducting usability tests every now and then provides important result and insights into many kinds of problems and complications related to a website layout or aspects of design. Websites constantly need upgrades and updates to maintain the visitor customer interests and trends.

WEB DESIGN ELEMENTS

To come up with a good web design and an effective visual and technical appeal of a website, the following elements must be considered.

Links

Normal. This is the default state of a link (i.e., one that is not hovered over or being clicked or pointed to a URL that the user has already visited.

Visited- a link that is not being hovered over or clicked but whose target has been visited by the user.

Active- a kink that is currently being clicked by the user, most developer will replicate the hover state here if a style is not provided to them.

Hover- the link that look like when the user moves the mouse over it. This and the new normal state are the ones most designers prepare for.

Forms

Two of the most important considerations when laying out a form are:

Form label- Formal typically collect personal data that users are reluctant to give out. As such properly informing users of the exact purpose of the form is wise.

Input Fields and labels- Plan on how the input fields of the form will be laid out on the page and how the labels for those field will be styled and oriented relative to the fields.

Form Validation

An important related detail is form validation. This is the critical point where the website communicates the user requirements and errors in a form. There are three core things to consider:

Required Fields- All required fields should be indicated. This is done usually with an asterisk.

Real-time validation- this kind of validation informs the users as quickly as possible of any problems with the data they have inputted.

Post-back validation- this kind of validation happens after the user has submitted the form. The style use for real time validation is often repeated here, but the other option is to group all errors into a single message.

Status Messages: Errors, Warnings, Confirmation

Users will usually need some sort of feedback after the performing an action on your website. The most likely scenario is after submitting the form, but many other events could occur as well. Carefully considered your website and the actions that users might take, and plan for the message that the website will need to communicate.

Animation: Pop-ups, Toolips, Transitions

On a standard HTML and CSS animations are critical. it is best to provide developers with a sample of how they should work so that the product functions as it should

Some of the most common places animations are used include:

Toolkits- those little pop ups when user’s mouse hovers over elements.

Image rotators or sliders- home page slide shows are all the rag, and a wide range of options is available for the transition and styles.

WEB PAGE DESIGN: USING TEMPLATES AND ONLINE WYSIWYG PLATFORMS

A web template is ready-made design for your website including image, some navigation, preferably several samplers in some cases flash animation. Contents come from you as the author A web template must be customized or modified to turn it onto your very own website. The website template you have chosen is a look-and-feel for your site. Some high end templates have date back ends and so on built in. You can also add your own text, set your meta tags (keywords and description), and insert some images onto your product listing pages (if applicable). Wix and weekly are just examples of webstest builder wherein you can choose to sign a for free or with payment.

Advantages of Using Templates

1. Know how your finished site looks.

2. Do not spend a lot of time on getting the colors and layout right

3. Templates are cheaper than hiring a web developer. There are sites that offers free templates.

4. Chose templates that are designed by professionals.

5. Templates can be customized by basic HTML knowledge.

AWYSIWYG or “what you see is what you get” (pronounces “wiz-ee wig”) editor/program is one that allows a developer to see what the end result will look like while the interface/document is being created. Most of this program are installed in the computer then allow the developer to build and preview the site.

Adobe Dream weaver, Rapidweaver, Microsoft Shareoint Designer, and WYSIWYG Web builder are some examples of WYSIWYG editors.

Advantages of WYSIWYG Editor

1. The web page is likely to be you, unique 9express your originality), unless you are trying to clone another web page.

2. You can make changes to a page layout by simply dragging the objects to their new positions.

3. Changing content to WYSIWSG Is much easier compare with searching and inserting bet. HTML tags, or using complex management system.

4. WYSIWYG runs in any windows computer.

5. You can create background images on he flies.

ONLINE TECHNOLOGIES

Online Technologies include presentation programs, forms and file management that are available over the internet. You can create and edit he products without installing the programs into your computer.

According to Tech Target, cloud computing is a term for the delivery of his of hosted services over the internet. It promises several benefits for businesses end users. Three of the main benefits f cloud computing include:

Self-service provisioning

End users can spin up computing resources for almost any type of workload in demand.

Elasticity

Companies can scale up as computing needs increase and then scale down again as a demands decreases.

Pay-per-use

Computing resources are assured at a granular level, allowing users to pay only fr the resources and workloads they use.

The goal of cloud computing is to apply traditional supercomputing or high-performance computing power, normally used by military and research facilities, to perform trillions of computation per second, in consumer-oriented applications such as finacal portfolio to deliver personalized information, to provide data stage, or to power large, immersive online computer games,

PREZI

Prezi was founded in 2009 by Peter Arvia, Peter Halacsy, and Adam Somlai-Fisher. A presentationresource that feature a zoomable canvas unlikethe box-type slides. Sign up for an account or download it on your computer.

EMAZE

Emaze work similarly with prezi. It features propriety state-of-the-art HTML5 presentation maker that will enable you to create slide shows, videos, presentation and 3D presentations.

CLOUD COMPUTING AND MAPPING

A mind map is a concept of using diagrams for representing tasks, words, concepts, or items linked to and arranges around a central concept or subject. It uses a nonlinear graphical layout to build an intuitive frame work around a central concept A mind map can have long list of monotonous information into colorful and highly organized diagram.

File and Project Management- a software that manages data files in a computer. It is used for individual or group management, such as special office documents and records which is cloud based.

MindMiester

An online mind making tool that allows uses to create, develop and share ideas visually. It is used for brain storing, note taking, project planning ad other creative tasks. It is a web based software that does not need to download and update

Sibelius

An online platform used for writing music. It is a notation software that features a magnetic layout and other tools good for music compositions. You ca make a video of your score, share it directly to social media.

Google forms- part of Google drive, a tool used for creating surveys tests, or web input forms. It allow s anyone o create an easy-to-use web form, connected to a spreadsheet where you can track results and post it on the web.

Full of Hell Interview: Poser Grind for an Open Mind

Photo by Reid Hathcock

BY JORDAN MAINZER

To think of the new album from Maryland/central PA grindcore band Full of Hell, Weeping Choir, as a companion album to their previous one, Trumpeting Ecstasy, is a bit misleading. While lead singer and songwriter Dylan Walker told me that he “was in the same headspace” when writing both albums, none of the band members, Walker included, wanted Choir to seem like a part two. In fact, it’s the band’s best record yet because it seems definitive and stands alone, showing the different ways the Maryland band can envelop you with brutal intensity. And the band agrees.

Speaking with him over the phone earlier this month, Walker told me about why the band was so confident making Choir, switching record labels, working with Converge’s Kurt Ballou and Lingua Ignota, his love of drum machines, Luca Guadagnino’s Suspiria remake, and that time his entire family came to a FOH show. Oh, and catch them at Reggies this Sunday!

Since I Left You: What’s unique about Weeping Choir as compared to previous Full of Hell records?

Dylan Walker: This is really vague, but it’s better. We’re older, and we’ve been playing together for a bunch of years. I think we’re finally starting to be able to get what we hear in our heads onto tape. It can be a letdown when you get in the studio and want it to be a certain way and it doesn’t come out that way. It’s difficult to encapsulate what you think your band sounds like onto a record...It’s fun, but it’s taken time to learn how to do it properly. This time, everybody kind of went for it. Most of the time, I’m fine with the record and I can live with it out in the world but I’m always looking back and thinking I should have gone for it a little more. This time, I still have those feelings a tiny little bit, but it’s way lower than usual. This is a really nice distillation of everything we like and have taken stabs at before. Maybe it feels a little more cohesive? I don’t know. It’s a nice example of who we are. It’s a really natural record.

SILY: I definitely feel like you totally went for it. What stood out to me is how different the songs were in terms of style and sub-genre. Something like “Armory of Obsidian Glass” is this slow, emotional centerpiece, and “Ygramul The Many” is a thrash song.

DW: We’ve always done stuff like that, but Dave [Bland]’s gotten better at drums, and Spencer [Hazard]’s gotten better at writing guitar riffs, and I’ve gotten better at singing. Everybody had a part to play, and we’ve really inspired. We all enjoy what we’re doing more than ever and along with it feeling more comfortable with each other as musicians. It was a really positive experience. It was a really quick recording experience, and we took a while to write it. It’s a cool feeling; a lot of times, over the past couple years, I’ve felt we’re just getting going, and I feel really inspired at times. I think it shines on the record. We wanna write more.

SILY: Why did you switch to Relapse for this record?

DW: We kind of bounced around to a lot of different labels over the years. I always viewed them like residencies. I never thought about sticking to a permanent home. We left Profound Lore for no particular reason. We just wanted to give it a shot with a label that had a full staff. Profound Lore’s an amazing label. They did a perfect job on the records we did with them. It had nothing to do with what was wrong with any of the labels we worked with--same story with Thrill Jockey, Neurot, they’re all awesome labels. It was a huge deal to work with any of them. We’re just trying something a little different with Relapse. It’s been cool so far. I can’t complain.

SILY: This is your second time working with Kurt Ballou.

DW: We had been talking on and off a little before about working with him, and it wasn’t until we met him that I was kind of sold. I should have assumed I would have liked the guy when I met him, but he’s really fun to be around. He comes from the same kind of world we come from. He’s a punk dude, he plays in a pretty DIY/extreme band that meshes a lot of genres, and he knew who we were and what we were about. He had a really cool perspective.

SILY: He’s done so much production work, too, that did you feel a certain sense of security knowing how it was gonna come out?

DW: Yeah, totally. We don’t want a cold, mechanical sounding record, but I always felt like there was a line where it might be too raw. A lot of the music we listen to that’s metal-based is really raw stuff, and I was having a bit of a perspective shift that maybe people who listen to Full of Hell don’t quite want the absolute most necro, raw, fucked up production. There’s probably a balance between big, door-slamming production and leaving it a little raw. Kurt’s a nice middle ground.

SILY: Do you have a favorite song on the record?

DW: No, not really. I think the one that surprised me the most is the song “Armory”, the one with Kristin [Hayter]. It’s entirely because of Lingua Ignota’s contribution. I think it’s great. I think we wrote something a little different. When Kristin sent her tracks over, it was 10 GB. I was really confused by that. Even for WAV files, that would be pretty big. It’s because it was like 30 vocal tracks. She just said, “Use what you want.” We put it all on. It was so good. She’s so good at layering her vocals because she has such an insane voice. I feel like it gave emotion to our music that had never ever been there before. It was pretty exciting to me. I’m a big fan of Lingua Ignota, and being a fan of something and then getting to have it in your music is pretty special.

SILY: Do you mostly listen to heavy music, even if not all metal?

DW: I listen to all kinds of stuff. I’ve kind of become that guy that listens to just about everything. Heavy is a term you can argue. I think a lot of hip hop is really heavy. The beats are heavy. Lyrical content is deep and dark. It has its own heaviness even if its not sonic heaviness. I listen to some goofy ass shit. Folk, hip hop, noise, EDM. Over the years, I’ve tried to have a broad taste. I’m over the hater phase all the kids get into. The more you listen to, the more you can expand your palate. It’s important to have a broad palate.

SILY: Do you see the purism in a lot of people’s reactions to a band like Thou? Especially because they don’t dress like a metal band.

DW: It’s kind of funny, isn’t it?

SILY: I’ll read comments about them that have to do with the shirts they’re wearing, and I’m like, “Why do you care?!?”

DW: I think it bothered me a little bit when we first started and grindcore purists called us “poser grind.” But then I thought about it, even for a minute, and I realized all of the bands I was influenced by were all poser bands that were not doing it the pure way. They blended things together. I always liked that anyway. I kind of embrace it; it’s better that way.

SILY: That shows through with the collaborations you've done, too: The Body, Code Orange, Nails, but also so many different bands who are less well-known.

DW: Oh, yeah, we kind of just did what we wanted. You couldn’t ask for anything better. Do what makes the most sense to you and what feels right to you. You can never be wrong.

SILY: What’s your relationship with industrial and noise music in general?

DW: I think everybody in the band loves the heaviness and inhuman-ness of programmed drums. As soon as you open yourself up to drum loops, you open the gate.

SILY: The opening track of Weeping Choir, “Burning Myrrh”, starts full force pretty immediately. Why did you decide to open the record that way?

DW: Spencer’s responsible for the intro. I think it just depends how we’re feeling. With Trumpeting, we really wanted an identifiable standout sample to start the record. We hadn’t done that. And this time, we wanted to come in as a full band right out of the gate. It’s a personal preference at the moment of how we opened the record. We had records open with just noise and free-form drums, just stuck on the concept of having a record open like that. I always kind of liked the more free-form records you find more in jazz than metal. But that kind of preamble, of an orchestra opening up, I like that jammy kind of vibe. Every record’s definitely got its own voice. It’s just a matter of finding that voice and whether the opening feels appropriate for that style of record. We just wanted to feel like there was no filler. No bullshit. Get it and go.

SILY: The drums on “Aria of Jeweled Tears” really stood out for me.

DW: That song really has cool drum work on it. The guest on that song is this guy Limbs Bin. His style is hardcore but 100 times faster. It’s just him and a drum machine, maybe a synthesizer to make noise. On that track, you can hear programmed drums at the beginning and end and the middle--there’s a staccato breakdown. He plays programmed drums on top of that.

SILY: At first, it felt like a militaristic march. Then they turn into machine guns.

DW: His snare drum is really poppy and definitely has that marching band kind of sound. I had people ask before if it was a sample. It did remind me a lot of a machine gun once we laid it down. The pattern was intentional; it was meant to loosely mimic the riff in the middle that he sings on and plays drum machine on. With programmed drums, the world is wide open to you. Limbs Bin’s drum machines are so raw and fucked up and harsh. They suit the situation perfectly and color the song completely differently. If you don’t know the source, it’s even more exciting, because you’re like, “What the fuck is that?”

SILY: That’s the exact experience I had.

DW: That’s awesome...the first time I heard Godflesh I experienced the same thing. It was so alien. It was snapped to a grid--that makes it so much harsher, too.

SILY: What’s your live set up like on these songs?

DW: This tour’s gonna be pretty straightforward. It’s just gonna be the four of us. Sometimes, we have extra horn players, but this one’s the four of us. We all have new equipment, but otherwise, it’s a straightforward Full of Hell set.

SILY: I saw on Facebook that your grandma came to a recent Full of Hell show.

DW: Yeah, she finally came to a show in Philadelphia last month. It was really cool.

SILY: What did she think of it?

DW: I think she liked it a lot. I wasn’t really gonna ask her. She’s super sweet and supportive. She doesn’t like anti-Christian stuff. She likes ghost stories and horror, but she’s not into super sacrilegious looking shit. She kind of turns her head on that stuff. But I had all my aunts and uncles there, and they really liked it a lot. It was pretty exciting for me. I love my grandma. She’s awesome. I think the moment was more important for me than to her. I never expected her to get to go, either. When she told me they were going to come to Decibel Fest, I was like, “Sure, I’ll get you in, let me know,” not really thinking they were gonna go through with it. But they all decided to go. We played the pre-show, so it wasn’t a huge festival experience that would have been a little more overwhelming. They just made it in time, too. We were setting up and I looked towards the side of the stage and they were all there. Pretty awesome. You can’t put a price on that kind of stuff. Everybody in the band’s got pretty supportive families. Everybody’s parents have been to see the band multiple times. We’re pretty lucky in that sense.

SILY: Is there anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s caught your attention?

DW: I just finally saw the Suspiria remake. I liked it a lot. I thought I would love it! I’m a big fan of the original Suspiria, and I usually hate when they remake stuff like this. I didn’t think it was gonna miss the mark because the trailer looked so good. And there was a lot I liked about it. Overall, it was probably the sickest movie I’ve seen in a while. 

Other than that, a lot of hip hop. There’s this label called Griselda Records from Buffalo, New York. It has these guys on it that are absolute fucking psychos. The music is so dark, and the music is so good. Westside Gunn, Conway the Machine, and Benny the Butcher. That’s pretty much all I’ve been listening to for the past year. I was listening to it before we recorded, while recording, and after we recorded this record. I don’t know if it had any influence, but it definitely gets me really hyped up. I’m pretty obsessed.

SILY: Did you like Thom Yorke’s score for Suspiria?

DW: Yeah...parts of it. I like Thom Yorke, but I don’t want to hear his voice singing over a movie like that. I didn’t like the vibe. When it was just his instrumental, I think it works pretty well. The original score is so one of a kind. It’s a timeless horror soundtrack. No matter what Thom Yorke did, he would have naysayers on the other end of it. But I did feel like it didn’t quite match up to the spirit of Suspiria in certain moments. I was actually listening to it today after watching it. It’s really cool, but it doesn’t gel 100%. With a movie that old, people have their minds made up about what the universe feels like. I can definitely see why it was so polarizing when it came out, and Thom Yorke’s soundtrack is definitely a part of that.

Album score: 8.3/10

LEFAY

Interview with Charles Rytkönen by Daniel Hinds

(conducted August 1999)

When it came to classy power metal, you would have been hard-pressed to beat Sweden's Morgana Lefay.  Combining epic arrangements, soaring vocals and plenty of stellar musicianship, the band delivered album after album of consistently top-notch material.  Unfortunately, they ran into some sticky legal trouble and the result was a two-year low profile, a line-up shuffle and an unwanted name change.

Fortunately, the band survived with their artistic integrity intact, and has emerged this year as Lefay with possibly their best album to date, The Seventh Seal.  Vocalist Charles Rytkönen explains the current situation and leads us through the hurdles the band has overcome…

Now that the album has been out for a bit, what are your feelings about the album? It feels good. (laughs)  We did another album and released it, so that's about it, I guess.  We are satisfied with the songs and with the mix.  I don't know how the sales figures have been, but I think it has been pretty good in Europe.  I'm really curious about the States, how it will be.

How have previous albums done in the States? I think not so good…  Then again, perhaps you could blame the company we had at that time (Black Mark) a little bit.  I don't know if they had a good promotion in the States - I can't imagine they had.  Noise Records, at least here in Europe, is very good.

What does the title 'The Seventh Seal' refer to? It's based on the story about the Seventh Seal in the Book of Revelations by St. John the Divine, in the New Testament.  It's based on that armageddon, doomsday news kind of story.

The cover art is quite beautiful.  Was the concept for it the band's or did you leave it up to the artist? The basic ideas have always been the band's, but then we say to the artist, Kristian Wåhlin, he can do whatever he wants.  We really trust him because he is so good and he has the same kind of fantasy as we do.  So it's a combination between our basic idea and his talent and feeling for it.

How did you first get in touch with him? I don't really remember that, actually.. (laughs)  I think it was a rumor from the beginning that he was really good and so on.  I remember that I called him up the first time, when we made the Knowing Just As I Album, and I asked him if he could do a cover for that with an angel holding something in his hand.  He came up with the sandglass, actually - that was his idea - and we thought it was a cool thing, so we've used it ever since.  It's like a story itself, the cover art.  I would like to collect the originals. (laughs)

I'm sure you've heard this one too many times already, but what exactly happened with Black Mark that resulted in the name change? Mmrrrrrh - wrong question!  (laughs)  No…oh god, it was a mess actually.  We weren't satisfied with Black Mark and we felt like we were being fooled a little bit and we signed a bad deal from the beginning.  We were really green, we knew nothing about this industry at all, and we just signed it.  'Wow, we have a record deal here!'  It could have said in the contract that we would have had to run around naked in the city, whatever - we just signed it.  We have never seen any money from that company, so we were really bored.  Then we were on tour in '95 and some guy from Noise Records came up and asked if we wanted to be on their label, and we said, 'Yeah, for sure, no doubt about it!  We can go right away!'  From that moment we had hard times.  We had lawyers involved for nine months, struggling about something, I don't know what - I just want to play, you know.  In the beginning of that mess, three of the members decided that they wanted to move to Stockholm and get some real jobs so they could earn some money for once in their life.  It was okay with us and we told them they had to come to Bollnäs, that's our hometown, if you want to stay in the band.  You have to come to us and do the rehearsals.  They couldn't do that, so we had to take three new members.  Then we had to change the name to Lefay because of some stupid…I don't know why exactly, but we're Morgana Lefay under disguise now.

Was there ever a thought to change the name completely? Yeah, a quick one. (laughs)  We thought about it, but then we were really pissed that we couldn't use the name Morgana Lefay because I invented that name a long time ago.  When I was a young kid, I wanted to have a band with the name Morgana Lefay, so I was really pissed.  We decided to just take away 'Morgana' and keep Lefay and Noise Records agreed with that as well.  We were thinking of names like 'Fuck You All' and "Fuck Black Mark'…'No Name'…(laughs)  Stupid names, you know.  But we're used to calling it Lefay now.

What was it about the name 'Morgana Lefay' that made you want to use it for a band name for all those years? I have always been interested in fantasy stuff and old tales, occult things as well.  I was really into that story about King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table for a while there and Morgana Lefay was like…wow, what a name for a band!  So we took that.  Before that it was Damage and before that it was Superstition.  Before that it was…something I don’t remember. (laughs)

Can you tell me a bit about the re-recording of your first album, Symphony of the Damned? Yeah…  We made the original album in 1990 and we made it on vinyl, 537 copies, just to see ourselves on vinyl.  We didn't have a contract at that time and everyone was happy, every day. (laughs)  It was badly produced and everything was bad with that album, but now since a couple of years ago, there are some die-hard fans who have bought that album in Germany, even though we never sold it in Germany, and they are willing to pay 1000 Swedish Krona (about $122) for it.  They were telling us, why don't you re-release that album?  We had thought about that from time to time, but we've lost the master tape.  Perhaps that is good luck, since it was so badly produced.  Now we decided to re-record it instead, plus we have four cover tunes on it as well.  We did this for two reasons.  It is a dedication to all the former members of Damage and Morgana Lefay and it is for our fans.  And perhaps it will buy us some time to make some new material for an upcoming album here. (laughs)

What are the covers that you chose? It's "Crazy?!" by Nazareth from the Heavy Metal soundtrack, "Captain Howdy" by Twisted Sister, "Strange Ways" from Kiss and "Cocaine" by J.J. Cale.  It's some odd covers, perhaps, but we think they are good and a little bit…you can really relax to the last song, "Cocaine." (laughs)

From what I understand, you've never had as much success in Sweden as in other places like Germany and Japan.  Has that improved any in recent times? Mmm, Sweden is a tough market when it comes to heavy metal.  There are bands like HammerFall, for example.  They had good luck - they were doing what they did at the exact right time, so they are really big in Sweden.  Big is not BIG like Metallica, but very well known, even for people who don't listen to heavy metal music, while we are well known among the people who are really into heavy metal music.  So there is a bad metal scene in Sweden.  It's okay underground and I think it is growing, but the people of Sweden are really fast to fall into the trends that come from the States and England.  So there is a lot of fuckin' techno and hip-hop and Ricky Martin shit.

Do you keep up on the metal scene much? Nah.  The rest of the band does, but they are single or perhaps they have a girlfriend.  Me, I have a house and a family, a girlfriend of 15 years and we have three kids together, so I'm a busy man actually. (laughs)

Does that make it difficult to tour? Yeah, of course.  You have to deal with your brain all the time, having a bad conscience and stuff.  But I have a wonderful girlfriend who is behind me on this 100%.  Our oldest child, she is 8-years-old and she's also used to this, even though she thinks it sucks when I go away for a month.  I'm really scared about going for a long tour, like 5 or 6 months.  I actually don't know if I am capable of doing that.  One month or five weeks, that's about the limit for me.

I've heard that you have an interest in blues.  Who are some of your favorite artists? Almost all the black artists, like Howlin' Wolf and…whatever.  The really old, original blues.  Then I also like some blues mixed with rock and I am still quite fond of some of Janis Joplin's songs.  I mean, I don't sit and listen to blues all day long, but it's really relaxing to listen to when you're in that mood, it's perfect.  Mostly, I listen to metal and hard rock, especially old hard rock like Uriah Heep.  The 90s is almost totally unknown to me, I'm more into the 70s and 80s as well.

When did you first become serious about singing? I never became serious about it. (laughs)  It was in school, in the 8th degree and some friends of mine said they were going to start playing in a band and were like,' I will play the guitar and he will play the drums and he will play bass and he will also play guitar - do you want to sing?'  'Okay," I said and then I started to sound something like…I don't know, it's really embarrassing to think about how it sounded. (laughs)

So you were self-taught? Yeah, definitely.  I don't know if I can do this, but I've come to accept my voice since a couple of years now.  I'm doing my best and I really like it, but then there are a lot of singers that I really admire and I'd like to sound like some of them, like Rob Halford.

How do you get inspired to write lyrics? It can be I wake up and I've had a dream, which was really weird, so I have to write something about it.  Or it can be from a book that I've read.  I read a lot of fantasy books and horror books.  I was really into the occult stuff when I was like 18-years-old and I'm still very interested in it to this day, but at that time I read just about everything I could about good and evil and all kinds of unexplainable things, and that has given me a lot of things to write about and to think about as well.  Is good that good and is evil that evil?  There's a lot of questions and that inspires me to write about such things.  And also just fairy tales, about goblins and elves and stuff like that.  Everything that is not so common.  We live in reality, we can see reality on the news every day.  Of course, I can write about stuff like that as well.  Like David Koresh, the mad messiah thing over in the States, that is a real thing but it is still so strange and that people can be affected by one person so much that they commit suicide, I think that's amazing.  It's so sick and it really pisses me off, actually, because one should have a distance to everything, even to oneself.

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