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mirrortouchedsea · 5 months

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She’s 6 years old, crowded around her mother with her sister. Their newest sibling has just been born and they’re both curious about the baby. What gender is it, one asks. What’s it’s name, she says. There’s a lot of chatter and her head is ringing as their mother finally speaks. It’s a boy, the first boy born to their family in several generations, and his existence must be kept a secret, she says, but we will name him Kohaku.

Kohaku Oukawa is born in a room full of life, with two older sisters taking turns holding him and letting him grab at their fingers, cooing over his features as their mother rests. The midwife is cleaning up from the afterbirth and the men are conversing in the corner, but for the second eldest daughter, she feels a special connection with the little boy in her arms. He has the same bright pink hair as her and she’d swear that they both had their mother’s eyes. She bounces him in her arms and for a moment, the entire world is just him in her arms.

The years go by and it's hard not to remark on the similarities between her and her brother. Kohaku is a spitting image of her to the point that it’s almost uncanny. As soon as Kohaku could walk, she had been told that she would begin training as his body double. It was obvious that despite being 6 years older than the toddler, they were remarkably similar in every way, down to the way they spoke and picked at their fingers. She was to be his protector, taking his place should the Suou family discover him.

By the time she was 14 and he was 8, the two of them had become practically inseparable. Despite his isolation, she would always find a way to sneak in toys and books for him and spend time playing with him. They trained together of course, she was often his sparring partner as well, but the moments where he’s alone in the room and she’s picked the lock again and they’re laughing at something stupid in a magazine were her favorite moments. It was important for him, too, to have some sort of connection to the outside world like that.

Despite the large age gap, the two almost always got along. She had more life experience and helped Kohaku with his homework and reading. He always had a listening ear to her problems, though he didn’t understand the plight of being a teenage girl, he could at least offer his presence. Both of them constantly fought with their parents about Kohaku’s isolation as well. She knew that it was for his safety, but he deserved to make some friends. She had even gone out of her way to disguise herself as him like she was taught and talk with the young head of the Suou family and see if he would be a suitable friend for the youngest Oukawa. Soon after, she began to stay in the room for Kohaku as he went out to play with the young Suou boy, talking about eating bugs like kids their age should be.

He tells her about his time with the young Suou when he comes back, talking about how stupid the other boy is, how arrogant, but always with an air of friendly teasing to his remarks. She thinks that it’s great how the two of them have gotten along so well and she’s already planning for when she can cover for him again the next week.

Despite being their youngest sibling, her other sister doesn't spend nearly as much time with him as she does. They’d taken turns babysitting him when the family was out, especially before he could walk and eat solid foods, but as he grew older that time with him decreased. As she is his body double, she spends more time with him than just about anyone else, and her sister has a lot to ask her about. How’s he doing, is he learning his kanji okay, how does he spend his free time locked up like that. She answers them as best as she can, but she knows some things are better left in the dark.

The one day they do all get to spend time with Kohaku is on his birthday. Those chilly February days are always filled with laughter and celebration as everyone catches up with each other and Kohaku gets to see more of his sisters. They always tease him and poke at him, but never too much, just enough to make him flustered. How were his studies going, they’d ask. Why you’re getting so big, the eldest exclaimed, picking him up and squeezing him. He would blush and stutter out a response, which only led to more teasing from the sisters.

The second eldest took part in this too, though to a lesser extent, as she got her fill during the rest of the year. She’d tease him about his clothes getting too small or being too big for him to fill out properly, how he still couldn’t quite beat her in a fight despite all of his blustering that he could. He was six years younger than her, it was to be expected that at least for a while he would be weaker than she was by default after all.

On his thirteenth birthday, when she was nineteen, he finally managed to flip her onto the ground. She told him it was only because he had taken her by surprise, but he held it over her head for the rest of the day and for once, the brunt of the teasing was on her. At the end of the party, she returned the favor and flipped Kohaku clean over her shoulder onto the floor and stuck her tongue out cheekily at him.

That year was also the year she snuck him his first electronic device. It wouldn’t be easy to hide a laptop at all, and a phone would be noticed if it was on their plan suddenly and without explanation, so she gave him a tablet instead. Big enough for him to type easily with his fingers and see text clearly, small enough to stuff under a pillow quickly if someone walked in on him with it out. She set up an email and some social media accounts under fake names and aliases for him, as well as some parental controls just to make sure he didn’t spend too much time on it and neglect his studies. Even he deserved to have some connection to the outside world besides through the young head of the Suou family.

After a few months she began to hear about a new friend he had met through Twitter, someone who went by the name of LoveSwan, or simply Love for short. Kohaku seemed completely enamored with his newfound friend and talked extensively about the other boy and how they just seemed to… click. She was just happy he was able to find someone else to talk to besides his family.

Kohaku was also quickly approaching her height, and might even grow to be taller than her, though there were still a few centimeters between them. It really was like looking into a mirror, looking at him. His youthfulness and his innocence (or what innocence he could have in a family like theirs) reflecting her own childhood that had, in a sense, been taken from her. She wasn’t jealous by any means of her brother, who had his own hardships, having been locked up for his entire adolescence, but she was almost jealous of how he hadn’t quite lost his childhood spark. He was beginning to go through his rebellious phase, especially as the young master of the Suou family had begun talking about joining a high school for idols next year.

He wanted to be free, to see the outside world and walk around without fear of the Suou family hurting him. She told him she would talk with their family, though it wasn’t guaranteed to happen right away, as he was still two years away from being high school aged and able to enroll in any sort of academy. She ruffled his hair and put him in a headlock, laughing as he tried to escape, one last little moment before she left.

It was almost a year before she saw Kohaku again. She had been sent out on a mission halfway across the country that took longer than expected, but it would be worth it if her parents held up their end of the bargain. She peeled her bloodstained gloves from her hands and tossed them in the fire. There would be no trace of her involvement if she could help it, but the deed had been done.

And she could finally see her brother again soon, hopefully with good news. She would never tell him what she had agreed to do in order to secure his freedom, but she would never regret it either.

When she returned she prostrated herself before her parents, asking that they uphold their end of the deal and allow Kohaku to be free when he turned 15. It would still be another year before he gained his freedom, but he would be able to enroll in a high school and follow in the young master Suou’s footsteps as an idol. He had his whole life ahead of him in the light and she wanted him to be able to embrace it however he saw fit.

As she sat, forehead on the ground before her parents, they commended her efforts in the last mission and agreed that Kohaku would be able to leave the confines of their home. While his existence was still messy and complicated, it would be more difficult for the Suou family to eliminate him if he had a life on the outside. She agreed, sitting upright and smiling wide, excited to tell her brother the good news. Just one more year in purgatory and he would finally be able to leave and begin his life.

For the next year, she began preparing Kohaku for his entry into the real world, bringing in more magazines and books and telling him about the different types of people that were out there and how to protect himself from bad actors. She was almost certainly being overbearing, but she wanted her brother to be as ready as possible for the real world, a place she had been free to roam since she was a child.

Kohaku was 15, ready to leave and she was 21 with tears in her eyes as they stood at the train station. The young master Suou had accompanied them and said he would make sure Kohaku would at least make it to the place he called Ensemble Square, and Kohaku agreed to be on his best behavior and not cause trouble. She gave him one last hug and ruffle of his hair before the two of them stepped on the train and pulled away from the station.

She kept an eye on the news about Ensemble Square and eventually saw that her brother had joined a unit called Crazy:B, although their reputation seemed to be low among the public given how they had relentlessly attacked other units. She sighed and wondered what exactly had happened in the few months since Kohaku had left home that had already gotten him in trouble like this, but even she couldn’t help but notice that most of the news coverage of Crazy:B focused on their leader, one Amagi Rinne. Though she didn’t know much about him, he seemed to be shielding the other members from the spotlight. What articles that did focus on the other members scarcely seemed to mention Kohaku at all, instead focusing on the one known as HiMERU who also seemed to take a slightly more active role in their activities.

It was only five months after their debut that Kohaku called her, asking if she’d be willing to help him out. He needed to visit the member of his other unit in another part of Japan, but the rules of the competition prevented him from traveling openly and he needed someone to step in. She agreed, of course, wanting to take this as an opportunity to make sure his unitmates in Crazy:B were treating him well. She would need to disguise herself as him for at least a few days and participate in idol activities with them, and while she hadn’t been trained to sing and dance, it wasn’t anything she couldn’t learn with a little bit of practice. He even told her that Rinne was on board with the whole thing and was excited to meet her.

When she landed at the airport, she was greeted by three men that had been vaguely described by Kohaku but matched the rough image she had of them from photos and videos of their performances. She was picked up in a bear hug by the one called Rinne, whom she threw to the ground in a show of strength. Rinne just laughed it off and commented on how she really was Kohaku’s sister. The other two men were much more respectful of her, greeting her with a wave and offering her some food after her flight. She smiled and accepted the snack.

The next few days, the three other members of Crazy:B had already made an impact on her. The way they talked about Kohaku told her that he trusted them with parts of himself that he often kept hidden from even some of their family members, and the four of them had shared many memories together. She was almost… jealous of the way that Kohaku had so easily made friends with these people and how they seemed ready to do anything for him, though they were easy to get along with and she had begun to tease them as well, she had to maintain her distance from them despite the nicknames and jokes.

Even when Kohaku had returned and she was ready to step back and return to her duties as a member of the Oukawa family, after the Sudden Death match, Kohaku and Crazy:B still offered to take her out for one last hurrah to celebrate their accomplishments. She tried to decline, but was quickly dragged along by Niki to the restaurant they had picked out. The five of them ate and laughed well into the night and by the end of it she didn’t want to leave even though she had to. The warmth that radiated from Crazy:B was something she didn’t want to let go of quite yet.

The four members of Crazy:B had tired themselves out when she finally slipped away, a sad smile on her face as she took one last look at the light of the restaurant. She would miss these men she had only known for a few days, but at least she knew her brother was in good hands, and that she could rest easier knowing he was safe with them.

#shay writes #ensemble stars #enstars #kohaku oukawa #how. do i tag kohaku sister #she's the pov character #sakura-nee #?????#i'll tag her as that from now on ig but she really doesnt have a name. which is tragic #i've had this in the works since sudden death came out and i'm so obsessed with sakura-nee #i want her to come back please happyele i'm on my hands and knees #editing to add that the tense shifts are intentional. dont ask they just ARE

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