Lot of talk about Margot dressing in the style of wrap dresses that Alana used to wear in season 3, and about the scene where Alana helps her get dressed, and I'm going to take that another step forward and propose "Alana and Margot having a questionably negotiated D/s dynamic where Alana chooses all of Margot's clothes and styling, Vertigo-style, and specifically shapes her to be the visual reflection of Alana's former self"

Over the last week, I decided to go ahead with bookmarking all the fics I've recommended over the years on AO3 since I abide by tumblr poll results always (and man pour one out for all the fic that never made it to AO3 or has since been deleted, sooooo many gems lost to time!) and it was a bit more than the ~3,000 I was expecting:

Hopefully, this will be easier than browsing the hundreds of recs posts I've made, since you can filter for any of the author's tags now! These are mostly focused on Star Wars and DC fandom, but I did my time in the anime mines and occasional tours through some TV fandoms or movies. You can dig into everything unfiltered and start your own filtering, or the bigger fandoms you'll find:

MAJOR FANDOMS: Each of these should have 100+ at minimum and, in the case of Star Wars, literally almost half of them are in that fandom. Look, Star Wars fandom might be a trash fire in a lot of ways, but it is ON FIRE with some good fic. (Older bookmarks not guaranteed to match my current sentiments, especially re: the Jedi, but they did catch my fancy at that point in time!)

STAR WARS: - All Star Wars -OR- All Star Wars minus the Obi-Wan/Anakin ship - OR- Nothing BUT Obi-Wan/Anakin

BATMAN/DC: - DC can sometimes be tricky, but you can do a Batman* search and get most of them (though, sometimes Nightwing* or Young Justice* or Superman* will catch some of the others). Honestly, though, you might want to just do a search for what character or dynamic you like and have fun from there, because otherwise you're getting a face full of my Dick Grayson Is The Center Of The Universe And I'm Making That Everyone Else's Problem agenda. ;)

MARVEL/MCU: - Marvel* will probably get most of the various properties, though you may want to filter for Defenders* or Guardians of the Galaxy* if you're interested -OR- Marvel* without the Thor/Loki - These focus a lot on the Thor* fandom if you want to witness the results of like 8 years of constant voracious reading in that fandom (Minus the ship), because, seriously, I read a LOT of Odinson family fic. - Bonus, just do a search for Maximoff* to find some really good X-Men: First Class-verse because, listen, I have been ALL ABOUT the Maximoff twins since long before the movies or MCU brought them over and I will DIE ON THE HILL of "Marvel, make Magneto their bio-dad again or I'm never reading another comic of yours ever".

TOLKIEN/LORD OF THE RINGS/SILMARILLION/HOBBIT: - Tolkien* -OR- Hobbit* -OR- Lord of the Rings* searches will turn up most of my Elf-hunting, I primarily focus on the Sindar Elves, but look I can't resist my problematic Feanorian faves or that I will die on the hill that Fingolfin is the best ever. (You have NO IDEA how sad I am that so much fic on Stories of Arda or FFNET is not easily bookmarked on AO3, sob. I externally bookmarked a few of the bigger ones, but sooo many shorter faves are missing from my recs tag.)

CLAMP: - X/Tokyo Babylon legitimately bums me out because it's not a huge fandom and yet so much of what was written was pre-AO3 and lost when CLAMPesque went down or was never brought over from Livejournal, yet this fandom (well, the Seishirou/Subaru pairing) still burns brightly in my heart.

MINOR FANDOMS: Ones that probably only have under 100 bookmarks (often around the 20-30 bookmarks range), but will at least give you a place to start! ANIME/MANGA: Bleach | Cardcaptor Sakura | Dragonball | Finder no Hyouteki/Viewfinder | Katekyou Hitman Reborn! | Kuroko no Basuke | One Piece | Sailor Moon | Madoka Magica | Naruto | Princess Tutu | Trigun | Weiss Kreuz | Yuri!!! on Ice

BOOKS: Chrestomanci | Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint

DRAMAS: Nirvana in Fire | The Untamed -OR- Modao Zu Shi

TV SHOWS/MOVIES: Community | Game of Thrones -OR- ASOIAF | Good Omens | Hannibal | Highlander | The Old Guard | Our Flag Means Death | Stranger Things

VIDEO GAMES: Dragon Age: Inquisition | Final Fantasy 8 | Genshin Impact | Okami

BANDS: Arashi

All right, whew, that was actually a fun project, despite how much work it was to hunt down a lot of older faves to see if they were on AO3, hopefully you'll find this useful!

Okay so I debated posting this for a long time but it won't stop bothering me. Before you come for me,all I ask is that you hear me out, and that my intention with this post is NOT to not to attack anyone.

Here we go: Alana Bloom is not a good person. That is pre-moral-decay arc.

Why am I saying this?

It is NOT because:

She's a woman

queer

Female professional in a male dominated field

Somehow "standing between Hannigram"

It IS because,in my very subjective opinion as 1 autistic person, she is a prime example of a self-righteous "Autism Speaks/Facebook Autism Mom" with a degree.

Personally the most insidious kind of allistic ableist to encounter. It took me a long time to recognize that this kind of person is not any less harmful,or bigoted,and they are by far the most difficult to call out. Why? Because they are what neurotypical people see as "nice,well-intentioned,altruistic,allies, compassionate,self-sacrificing" etc, this goes double if you have a degree to cement your authority. Trying to even gently explain to them how and why their behavior is not okay from an actual neurodivergent point of view will always be met with more outrage by other neurotypicals than calling out someone who is outright,loud and proud hostile in their ableism. A similar concept to other subtle, covert forms of bigotry.

Alana is a worse therapist than Hannibal, and hell,even Bedelia. She's on par with Chilton.

Because she is "normal", "nice", and "sweet" it is easily overlooked just how not only ableist but emotionally manipulative she is. She is just as bad as Sutcliffe,or any other professional who sees Will as an exotic case study,and her "fascination" with Will echoes Freddie's. I don't doubt that she genuinely thinks of herself as a "good person who cares about/for Will", and that she firmly believes to be "well-intentioned",and "morally surperior". But she really isn't. Her behavior towards Will is NOT okay. She did and does use,and infantilize him,she does manipulate him,be that consciously or subconsciously. But whereas we make "excuses" for Hannibal, and don't really expect him to act differently because of his pathology,his "nature",his way of thinking etc. We do not hold the "normal" people like Alana to the same measure.

That's why I get angry when people regurgitate Chilton's talking points about Will,and demonize him.

It is far more nuanced,and complex than that.

Imho, in this show (apart from the dogs) there are no "pure" characters. And to deny Alana is not fundamentally flawed,and yes ableist character because "feminism!" could in and of itself be misogynistic. A person can be a bigot regardless of gender,race/ethnicity/culture,religion etc. They can be so without actively meaning harm,or even being really all that aware that their 'good intentions' are destructive. If such a person is willing to learn and change,than that's good. No such thing as doomed. But most of her "with a degree" types will die on their hills,and be affronted by the accusation that their oh so "noble" attitudes might actually be anything but.

I am NOT bird app accusing anyone who likes her character of being any of those terms,to stop liking her,or that she is "worse" but I am saying that just as we acknowledge Hannibal's flaws,can (meta) decry his actions,and still call him Blorbo and fiercely ship Hannigram,we should also be able to do so with Alana.

The "normal" ones aren't always the "good ones".

That is why I dislike Alana,and I just don't like being accused of merely disliking her for being a queer woman,or the infantile notion that she was "in the way of Hannigram". I have my HIGHLY PERSONAL,SUBJECTIVE BUT TO ME VALID,UNRELATED REASONS I dislike her. Not because she read a weird book to Abigail. Or anything else that has recently come up in the fandom.

You don't have to dislike her. It's okay if you like her. It's okay if she's your favorite,your obsession,or you just find her sexy. It's perfectly fine if you ship Marlana,or ship her with Hannibal. I'm not posting this to lecture,or convert anyone. I couldn't be happier for you if you like her and/or find comfort in her character.

What I do have issues with is seeing her idealized without legitimate discourse about her character.

No,I don't think of Will or Hannibal as pure cherubs without fault but I have had enough about the angel-ification of Alana,and reimagining of Will as darker/more monstrous/misanthropic than he is.

That is my perspective. You don't have to agree with it - not if you are autistic/neurodivergent as well,or if you are neurotypical. You really don't have to. That's okay! I respect that,and you!

So respectfully,gently,please let one autistic person of many explain her discomfort with her character,or maybe offer food for thought to some.

There is more I could say but I'll leave it at that.

Sorry if I upset anyone,and for not being more eloquent about this,I hope what I was trying to express came across well enough.

My shop update is LIVE & I’m offering ✨FREE✨ U.S. shipping on all Hannibal re-stocks, pre-order prints & ink originals thru May 12th!! No code needed- just a thank y’all for the support 🫀

Kaishin Reveal and What It Means For You

Okay I need everyone to keep their shit together because I think this is being blown out of proportion. What follows is a quick rant about what the hell is going in the DCMK fandom and what is going on in fandom in general cause I don’t know why I’m seeing so many people lose their shit over something that was most likely going to happen followed by a quick lesson by a ‘fandom elder’ on how to ignore canon and make a ship your own. 

Spoilers ahead and whatnot. 

April 11th the DCMK 27 movie came out and information was revealed about how Kaito Kuroba and Shinichi Kudou are now cousins. Twitter lost its mind, Tumblr lost its mind, Discord servers are being created and now everyone is wondering what the hell should they do. 

I’m going to be honest, if you are a creator for KaiShin, please don’t delete your work. 

Either archive it or orphan it but please don’t delete it.

You put time and effort into this, into something you love, and just because the mangaka is so SO set in his ways of every single ship being friends to lovers does not mean you have to follow the same format. This doesn’t make you an incest shipper or whatever, it doesn’t make you a person who you don’t want to be, it’s just something that you had no idea of knowing was going to happen and I hope that you can look back at it fondly. 

Anyways, for those enjoying Kaishin on the sidelines all I’m going to say is Pick a Lane. 

Ignore Canon 

If you are an old time shipper then this may not be new for you. I mean Gosho literally had another ship that turned out to be cousins like at this point it’s ‘who is my cousin’ being played in the entire Detective Conan manga. You either already guessed it, are an active incest shipper (hi, hello, tis a me) or you are used to your favourites dying. This situation is no fucking different. 

Wolfwood is dead, in my head he is alive and well and treating his Plant husband right. 

Sora is missing, not in my head where he is kissing Roxas and Riku and Kairi and whoever else wants to get at the sunshine of the KH universe. 

Ben is dead, NOT IN MY REYLO FANFICTION. 

If you are a person who actively kept up with the manga or actively kept up with the show it is possible to ignore canon because they do not suddenly go super deep into being cousins and knowing about each other. They both don’t know if they are cousins or else the jig would be up immediately and the manga would be finished. You CAN ignore canon and if Kaishin is a ship that brings you joy and just serotonin production I implore you guys to choose this lane if you still want to enjoy Kaishin. 

It’s by far the healthiest option and teaches you how to curate your own fandom experience. 

Alternate Universes and You 

I was in the Hannibal fandom for a while and I clearly remember the ‘Hannibal is not a Cannibal’ tag on AO3. I thought it was hilarious but I would never dare to make fun of it because that is a prime example of CURATING YOUR FANDOM EXPERIENCE. 

Here are some examples on how you can start tagging: 

Not Cousins AU

Kaito and Shinichi aren’t family 

No Family Relation AU 

Pre Kaishin reveal 

Or just make a quick blurb of how you mean this drawing/fic to be perceived. Again, this is your experience and you get to make the space you want to make. It’s up to you to make/interact with the content that makes you most comfortable. Again, if you want to delve into AU’s then that is up to you and I think it’s a pretty good lane for those who just feel weird about the whole reveal. 

Stepping Away

Your moral values are your own, people, and I am in no position or even want to judge them. If you feel uncomfortable about this now, see your love for Kaishin diminishing because of the reveal or just don’t see yourself shipping Kaishin in the future then you are more than capable of measuring your response and stepping away from the ship entirely for your own health. 

Is it going to be sad? Yes, but they are fictional and I recommend having an idea of what you have in your life outside of fandom that makes you happy that you can focus on as you go through this. College, work, whatever hobbies you may have taken up–hell put all your eggs into another ship that you know also brings you joy! 

Do not let this dictate your day or your month or your year. This is just fandom, you don’t have to make a big statement unless asked about it, you do not have to justify your decision to anybody, curate.your.fandom.experience. 

I’m going to end this with a repeat of what I just said. 

This is all fictional. We are playing in a fictional sandbox where we can all make whatever we want in any capacity and as long as it is tagged correctly then nobody’s lines have to be crossed. If you just started enjoying Kaishin, find out how you still want to enjoy it or step away. If you have shipped Kaishin for a while, do the same fucking thing! The east side of the fandom is having a field day with the movie, why can’t the west have some fun too?! 

I’m going to ship Kaishin (however all my reblogs will be moved to my other blog for incest-y stuff and just other content people may not vibe with in general) and hell I might just join the Kaishin Big Bang for the hell of it because I have been shipping this ship since I was 15 years old and I’m about to be 30 so….I’m staying fucking seated cause you aren’t getting me out of this chair, Aoyama, you aren’t getting me to ship Aoko with anyone other an Akako so suck on that. 

Be safe, be smart and curate y’all.

How to Character

Was reminiscing for the days when I, as a small teen, wrote horrendous zelda fanfic and how I really really wanted to be able to write everyone in character but I had no idea how. I ended up giving everyone one or two Quirks or Bits and that was it, that was their character. I made Skullkid a pervert and gave Ganondorf a gambling problem. It was the best I could do at 16. In service to past me, I thought I'd put together a ramble about how to write a pre-existing character In Character. Maybe it'll help someone who's just starting out.

Point 1: He wouldn't Fucking Say That Check the canon and determine how the character talks. Are they formal or informal? Do they use sayings from a particular region? Do they swear or not? In most cases older characters aren't going to be using the most hip slang, and will be a little more formal. Also, no one should be talking like a therapist (unless they are a therapist. Hannibal fandom gets a pass). Here's an example of a character voice breakdown: Albert Wesker speaks somewhat formally, is likely to use complex vocabulary or 'science-y' language (fucking complete local saturation goddammit) (but he does not do this as often as you'd think), and doesn't swear unless it's a dire situation. He also doesn't use slang.

Now there's another layer to dialog to consider too: directness, lying, euphemisms, and hypocrisy. These are things that can vary depending on which characters are talking, what they're talking about, and if they're in public or private. In general, you're more likely to be direct and truthful with friends and loved ones, while strangers are more likely to get told white lies, vague euphemisms, or to be redirected entirely off of sensitive topics. This isn't true in all cases, so it's another thing to watch out for in the canon. An example: Luis Serra and Leon Kennedy (Remake edition) are both very cagey with each other from the start. Leon has to badger Luis multiple times just to get an answer for why Luis is helping him. Luis is exceptionally good at dodging questions he doesn't want to answer, and for his part, Leon has no interest in explaining his mission or backstory to this shady guy.

Point 2: He Wouldn't Fucking Do That Here are some aspects to consider when plotting a character's actions.

Morality: What are the character's values? What are their hard lines in the sand, and what do they see as a gray area? What are their goals? How important to them are those goals, and what are they willing to sacrifice to reach them? What kinds of things can push them to break with their values, or even rewrite them completely?

Intelligence: This isn't just 'how smart are they' on a pure IQ level. How much do they think things through, versus acting on instinct? Do they panic? Do they have a plan or are they flying by the seat of their pants? Do they think quickly, or do they need time to process? Are they really confident about some inaccurate piece of information that could lead them to wrong conclusions (see also: distorted worldviews, best applied to villains)? What are their biases? Are they observant or do they miss a lot of things?

Emotions: Are they repressed or are they in touch with their feelings? Do they mask their feelings, or are they openly emotional? Do they compartmentalize? How much self-control do they have? Are they hot-tempered or cold? Once they've been angered, does it burn out quickly or do they hold a grudge for ages? What scares them, and how brave are they when they have to face those things? How about their emotional intelligence? Do they have any idea why they're acting the way they are, or are they not thinking about it? (It's fine and normal for you, the author, to understand how a character is feeling more than the character does. Also, more importantly, there's ways to convey how they're feeling other than just having the character say it out loud) It's better to think of all these things as sliders instead of modes.

Point 3: Shipping. Yeah I know why you're all here This is an area where we have to make up a lot of stuff ourselves. Either the canon doesn't dwell on the romances and leaves us lacking in detail, or the two characters never got together in canon (or, cough, never even met), so we have to figure out how they would work in a relationship by our lonesome. How do you do that while keeping people in character?

Step 1: build up each character's sexuality, their relationship with their sexuality/sex in general, their taste in other people, and how they react to feelings.

Example using canon reference: Ada Wong has a canonical soft spot for Leon Kennedy. You can then look at Leon's character traits / actions and use that to figure out what Ada's tastes are. She rarely expresses this softness openly, and enjoys teasing him and running off. From this, we can guess that she's probably not the type to settle down as a domestic housewife and invest in a serious, traditional long-term relationship. Example without canon reference: Vergil Sparda managed to make a son, but we've never seen him in a relationship of any kind and we know very little about Nero's mother (other than she was in a cult that worshiped Vergils' father so…there's some interesting implications). Instead, we can make guesses about Vergil's tastes based on what he values, as well as his own character traits. Vergil's a proud perfectionist who values power above all things. He is constantly driven to prove himself. So, it's a safe guess that he would be drawn to people who are strong fighters or otherwise highly skilled in their field, or people who boost his ego (again, see: one night stand with a woman from a cult that worshiped his father).

Building up what two characters' tastes are, as well as what things they might hold in common, is very useful for the 'getting together' stage. If you're shipping two characters, you probably already have an idea why you think they would work together. Just invest that into their characterization as they encounter each other.

Step 2: staying themselves while staying together I think it's tempting to start following a "this is what characters in love do" playbook once you've gotten your lovebirds together, instead of considering what the characters would really be like in a relationship. I see so many of those 'headcanon' posts going around that just sound like generic lists of behaviors instead of things a specific character would do based on their history and personality. I'm going to point back up to the 'emotions' paragraph and say that this is a really big thing to keep in mind when writing romances. Emotional expression versus repression and emotional intelligence play a huge role in how two characters will act and react to each other. Do the characters even realize what they're feeling for each other? Once they've accepted it, how do they act on it? Are their feelings more important than other goals in their life? Where does their new partner rank on their list of priorities?

By all means, let characters change a little around their partner. People have many facets and often shift what face is showing depending on who they're around, so someone who is loved and trusted will get to see a different side than Joe Nobody on the street. However, the change can't be so drastic it's unbelievable. Any really significant change in characterization needs to have work put in for it to happen. Also, try to avoid the tired trope of the magical healing cock. Relationships don't solve people's problems. If anything, they can add a lot of new complications.

Step 3: getting spicy As someone who finds 90% of written smut so boring I skim over it, let me just get up on a soap box for a minute and point out that using it as a form of character study makes it so much more interesting. Not every sex scene has to be about two characters doing everything right and having totally optimized sexy as possible sex with their flawless bodies. Let them goof off, let them mess up, let them banter, let them be weird and gross and human. Kink, especially, has a deep psychological aspect that is fun to explore with different characters. I keep a little file with some general characterization notes for my major players, and part of that is a list of what they're into, what they're 'meh' about, what is a hard "no" for them, and why. It's a fun exercise.

It's kinda hilarious but mostly sad for me that from the moment I muted the JohnLock tag because I was tired of seeing so-called TLJCers "meta posts" from 8 years ago and was looking in vain for Sherlock fans who had other interests than a non canon ship, I just... Don't see Sherlock related posts anymore? Except for a couple of Adlock and Sherlolly posts, but I don't engage with these ships either so 🤷

I took my Sherlock x OC fic off AO3 because I ended up losing interest. Never did I take off a fic from AO3 after only three chapters! And it wasn't even because it wasn't read: I was actually surprised to see it bookmarked, receive several kudos and even a couple of lovely comments. The kudos were anonymous for most of them but so what. It was nice to see the attention anyways. So it's not a case of "woman bitter because her shitty fanfic wasn't successful". Considering I had only three chapters online, it was a promising start.

Yet, I lost interest because my passion for the show wasn't fed by exchanges with other fans. I mean, I had a few very nice discussions, -I don't want to tag anyone but the three of you I have discussed Sherlock with several times should easily recognize themselves 💜-, but before I muted the JL tag I spent more time scrolling down than anything else. I think it's a shame because there was so much to this show than a ship. With my story I wanted to explore Sherlock's past, uncover a potential trauma caused by something else than Victor Trevor's death, open a discussion about this, about his relationship with his brother, his sister and his parents.... And I KNOW that Sherlock's relationship with John, wether it's considered platonic or not, is very important. I just wish I could find something else to discuss than Sherlock's feelings for X or Y, or his sexuality.

Some could say it's pretty much the same thing for the Hannibal's fandom: there's no doubt that if I muted Hannigram I wouldn't find any Hannigram related posts. Or I'd probably find anti Hannigram posts, ew. The big difference to me is that Will and Hannibal's relationship is at the core of the show. The show is called "Hannibal" but it could just as well be called "Hannibal and Will": even if you don't ship them, take the relationship out of the equation and the show has nothing left to say, like... Literally.

Don't get me wrong, Sherlock without the pair Sherlock/John would probably be crap, but it would still have Sherlock's relationship with his family to cover. And boy there's much to say, imho. While Hannibal has no one else than Will. Will has no one else than Hannibal. That's the story. Also Hannigram is canon. So it makes sense to me that most of the fandom's posts are focused on Will and Hannibal. It hasn't stopped me from starting a pre-Hannigram fic because I'm very intrigued by the professor Lecter had an affair/student Alana Bloom storyline they hinted at in season 2, but I know I won't lost interest in this fandom anytime soon, because I feel fed by it. And this weird/toxic/and yet very romantic relationship between these two weirdos keeps fascinating me, even after four rewatchings! Besides, most Hannibal fans are unhinged which is I must say, a quality I appreciate very much 😁

for the ship ask game, i saw you say you ship Nobara/Maki and Maki/Mai so i am curious now what you like about them (i love them too 😌). and Higuruma/Yuuji

(something i will never get tired of saying: love your goyuu fics! :D also i am tempted to finally watch Hannibal just so i could read your fics)

*chokes* THOSE FICS ARE TEN YEARS OLD, PLEASE, YOU WON'T RECOGNIZE THE WRITING. I sure don't. Anything I wrote pre-2018 makes me skitter away in fear.

Ahem. The ships. Good choices!

Nobara/Maki

Ship It

What made you ship it?

I was pretty 👀 after that one scene where Nobara leans on Maki's shoulder and says she respects her. Maki's reaction, while mild, was pretty cute, and it's also the most...sweet we see Nobara act with anyone. It was then followed by Nobara recruiting Yuuji to basically support Maki during the GW event, and I was sold at that point. That one manga cover where Maki and Nobara look like they're on a date certainly helped.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

They're both sharp-edged people who get a little soft for each other, and I like that. I also think their personalities would intersect and interact in fun ways—not a lot of outright complications, a bit of reserved communication that would probably get talked out, etc. And this may sound odd, but I like how the way they get along and are less prickly with each other doesn't come across as "they're pals because they're gals" but as people softening due to romantic interest. Won't lie, it's once again too tame to really light my brain up, but we've got Mai/Maki for that.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Hmm, nope, don't think so.

Maki/Mai

Ship It

What made you ship it?

I'm a simple man: throw me a sibling relationship with fucked-up vibes, and I'll happily ship it. But honesty, this writes itself. Their interactions during the GW event alone are pretty compelling, especially the clash between Mai's abandonment issues and Maki's more practical approach. Then we get the utter gem that's the Perfect Preparation arc, and holy shit.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I love me some tragedy. The part where Maki tells Naoya that no, she doesn't have a heart because "she took it with her" lives rent-free in my head. Post-Mai Maki, from the grief-fuelled massacre of her clan to the visions she has of Mai in relation to the sword she became, makes me fucking feral.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I think they should make each other worse.

Higuruma/Yuuji

Ship It

What made you ship it?

To be honest, I think my initial draw to this was that it reminded me a little of nanaita. And I've always approached this ship as Higuruma reminding Yuuji of Nanami somewhat, so you can imagine how satisfying it was to see canon itself draw a parallel, albeit with their deaths. But even disregarding the nanaita influence, I'm pretty damn fond of this ship. I absolutely love every single one of their interactions, especially the last fight and the flashback where we see Yuuji talking alone to Higuruma.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

This is highly specific, but the way Higuruma can't look Yuuji in the eye to the point he threw/lost their fight because of it and then fucking dies while making serene eye contact with Yuuji is going to haunt me for as long as I'm in this fandom. Can you tell I love tragic shit?

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Just my usual "let Yuuji fuck that grown man" agenda.

And thank you! You're a gem, as always ❤

Ask can be found game here.

please rank your gay ships based on how bad thekr first time havifn sex would be thank you

a short selection of SOME gay ships from western live action on a RELATIVE score ranking because we don’t have time or space for all the rest: charles/erik: charles is literally a telepath. their first time having sex is 15/10 even if both of them cry and erik gives himself an injury it doesn’t take away from how out of this world the sex is

hannibal/will: 13/10 for the 13 people that died right before it happened. I am so sorry to tell you this but they are BOTH so into it and there is so much blood.

alexander/hephaistion: over two millennia of people saying alexander was cuntstruck by hephaistion’s thighs so I guess that first messy 12/10 handjob was astronomically good for alexander.

tos kirk/spock: kirk is very kind and gentle with spock here even though spock’s losing his goddamn mind about it. kirk, in fairness, ALSO loses his goddamn mind about it a bit. not for nothing are they based on the above two historical figures. 11/10 lewd handholding

xena/gabrielle: including women on this list as a comparison point. it’s so 10/10 good and they are so normal and communicative about their needs, wants and feelings

post-15.18 destiel: might be sort of normal actually. a bit awkward at first, but given cas is an angel and blows out some lights along with dean’s back I’ll give it a solid 9/10 that can only get better from here.

flint/silver: 8/10 sadly they’re both so in love with each other and work so well together it overrides all of the gaslight gatekeep girlboss manipulations and mindgames that have or will go on, even if they’ll never admit that!

steve/tony: picking one universe and saying ultimates, ults steve is homophobically trembling the whole time and ults tony is bitter and jaded and laughs derisively at the situation after steve comes. 3/10 objectively but a 9/10 experience for steve (previously had not had gay sex) and a 7/10 experience for tony (he’s a masochist)

holmes/watson: holmes is too in his head about it and watson doesn’t know if he likes gay sex yet. 6/10 love that dare not speak its name is still very sexy for all involved

house/wilson: they know way too much about anatomy for this to be bad, BUT never underestimate the power of them derailing the experience by arguing with each other and bringing up death before anyone even gets off. 5/10

kim/harry: oh this is ABSOLUTELY what you’d expect (harry full on losing it not even halfway in and sobbing violently) but it is saved by the fact harry can near-read kim’s mind even if he doesn’t know what kim’s mind means half the time. 4/10, +0.5 modifier (kim really trusts you)

nandor/guillermo: also 4/10, neither of them communicates about their kinks. guil makes a secret action plan of how the next time can be better, except nandor then immediately goes off and hooks up with some other love of his life

merlin/arthur: 5/10 sloppy blowjob by merlin that gets a downgrade to 3/10 because somehow in sucking arthur off he also managed to doom magic, all other gay people and the entire working class

geralt/jaskier: 2/10 geralt is thinking about yennefer’s breasts the whole time. sorry he can’t help it blame the djinn probably

aos kirk/spock (or any pre-movies version of tos): somehow kirk spends the whole time convincing himself it’s just a casual thing for a literal vulcan. spock spends the whole time trying not to kill kirk and then thinks he’s gravely injured him AND disgusted him with the scale of his aggressive desire. 1/10 they both get off but it’s physically painful and both are miserable about it

endverse destiel: dean is SOOOO angry and revolted with both himself and castiel. absolute 0/10 that never happens again.

dishonourable mentions for the hell of it:

aziraphale/crowley: whatever neil gaiman said about them never having sex because they’re beyond that or whatever. -10/10 they don’t qualify

20 Questions for Fic Writers! ✨

tagged by @monstersinthecosmos and @hekateinhell thank you! 🖤

1. How many works do you have on A03? 28, all public

2. What’s your total A03 word count? 70,744

3. What fandoms do you write for? Vampire Chronicles & AMC IWTV. I also write Hannibal fic and dabble in Star Trek (need to get into some ds9 fic one of these days.) I also have a twitter account (@murdertherapy) where I give advice as Hannibal Lecter, but I've back burnered it for the time being due to The Horrors. Might make a tumblr for it one day.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Touching and Touched, Only a Name, That Essence Rare, Amnesiac, By Any Other Name

5. Do you respond to comments? Absolutely, they make me so happy! But I get a little self-conscious about how to respond to them since I don't know how to take compliments, so I'm always just like, thanks 🙂

But I really do cherish all of them 😭

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Gotta be Gethsemane, the fic where I did what Anne maybe ultimately wished she did and killed Daniel. This is one of my favorite pieces I've written in fandom or otherwise and it really helped me process some things.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'm sure it's my spirk fic Touching and Touched, they are so fuckin sappy I love them.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I've been pretty lucky in that I've never gotten a mean comment on ao3 or any shade about any of my fics (that I've seen lol).

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Listen, I think that horniness is the engine of all drama. All fiction is inherently erotic. What is a Greek tragedy but a super drawn out communal orgasm?

But yes, I write smut almost exclusively lol. People are (usually) at their most vulnerable and raw during sex, and this is an incredibly powerful way to explore character dynamics as well as their inner lives, traumas, and hidden drives. I'm especially drawn to BDSM/kink in general.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes! I just wrote a VC/X-Files crossover called Amanuensis in which Mulder and Scully investigate the Night Island that was tons of fun, but it's not something I make a habit of for whatever reason.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but it's something I would definitely be open to!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Devil's Minion, Hannigram, Garashir, Spirk, Mulder/Scully. They all make me insane in unique ways! I'm also partial to Armand/Marius/Daniel--any Armand ship really! Super normal about him :)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I WANT to finish my Knight of Swords series one day, but I'll try keep plugging away at it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue, 100%. I want everything to be a screenplay lmao. I have written multiple fics that are just text conversations, transcripts, etc.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I can be impatient when it comes to writing descriptions/actions, so a lot of that stuff is as bare bones as possible. I would like to become better at creating a sense of depth and scale and grandeur rather than just sketching things out (and writing longer fics instead of just oneshots all the time).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Neutral, I think it can work when used sparingly (but then I've dropped a few caro mios in my time).

19. First fandom you wrote for? Doctor Who in the ancient pre-ao3 times.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Apart from Gethsemane, I was really happy with how By Any Other Name turned out (the fic where Armand roleplays that Daniel is Marius without his knowledge). Basically anything that's a combination of heavy angst and smut with an optional lil sliver of comfort--that's the good stuff.

tagging: @fofoqueirah and @butchybats and @desertfangs (feel free to ignore if you've done this already lol)

💗 Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love! 💗

I've been waiting for the opportunity to do this THANK YOU I'm excited to share about my favorite stories. Tbh choosing 5 is a struggle but I'll sacrifice for the game.

Metamorphosis This is an AU for Ruth and Harry of Spooks/MI-5 where I saw s1 of The Crown and was like wow what if this queen who was never born to be queen actually had a husband to support her? And Harry Pearce is such a simp for Ruth Evershed that he would very much be that supportive but grumpy prince for her. This is the longest story I've ever written and I am so immensely proud of it. Also you don't have to have seen Spooks to read it. There is nothing from the show that you would need to know but it does have fun easter eggs for those of us who do know the show and the characters.

The Proper Way of Things I wrote a pre-series story for Robert and Cora from Downton Abbey. I love it. I had so much fun with this. I am so proud of it. I am so grateful for the gift of this show and this ship and this story and all it brought me. My best friend had it printed into a book for me and it's 573 pages lmao. But I have it and I love it so so so so much and everyone should read it lol.

Hart All A Flutter This is a masterpiece if I do say so myself. Hart to Hart changed my life (as did the other two shows referenced above) and brought me the most incredibly wonderful group of friends who supported me and encouraged me and helped me through writing this. I also think this one could be read if you've never seen the show because it starts with the events of Jennifer and Jonathan's first meeting so there's no backstory you really need to know. It's a lot of fun, imho.

Forever In Your Arms The Doctor Blake Mysteries has a complicated place in my heart but it's a great show and gave us great characters. This show changed the way I write and this story, I think, is a perfect example. I wrote a vampire AU. And it's fucking hot dude. Highly recommend.

A Solution For Entropy Hannibal by Thomas Harris (sequel to Silence of the Lambs) is my favorite book of all time. It is everything to me. And there's a part in the book where we go from Clarice being drugged and going through intense trauma therapy and catharsis to an epilogue where life is very different and they live happily ever after. But we don't get HOW exactly that happened. So I wrote it. And this is the best quality writing I have ever produced in my life. I cannot say enough about how good this is and how proud I am that I DID IT. It's intense and deep and sexy and scary and everything that I love about this book and I adore this story.

Thoughts on e6-e7 of The Terror

Continuing my first watch of The Terror, I just have to say... holy shit, that carnival!

I could tell something was going to go horribly wrong with how generically spooky it was, and I'd heard some vague spoilers of Dr. Stanley being a bad guy with respect to it. But he just straight-up arsoned the whole place in the most horrifically premeditated way possible. Possibly the most terrifying thing I've seen so far in the show, because while the Tunbaaq isn't real, overcrowded events with poor escape routes definitely are.

Also shocking was the fact that the guy Hickey stabbed there was an accident! I saw a second of that scene in an AMV pre-watching and I assumed that it was Hickey murdering things up Hannibal style. But actually Hickey was frantically trying to save the lives of everyone there and actively warning people that he was cutting through the tent. I cannot believe how much context completely 180'ed the meaning of that shot.

TBH if I hadn't watched e7 immediately afterwards I'd have wondered if the whole "Hickey is the show's villain" thing was an elaborate trick the Internet had agreed upon to prank new watchers. Even with e7 (when Hickey kills Irving and Farr) it seems hard for him to surpass Stanley's villainy? Maybe I'll be surprised.

The fact that the writers chose to have Hickey be the one coincidentally outside the tent, trying to save people, is... interesting. It's not that Hickey did anything particularly impressive or selfless what with moving the crates out of the way and cutting the tent open. But it's definitely a choice to make him more sympathetic (it could have been anyone outside the tent, in theory). I feel like I actually believe Hickey when he said that he found the dog with a broken leg (if he were lying, would he have admitted to killing the dog at all?) Relatedly, I'm glad we haven't heard anything more about the ship's cat—the dead dog and monkey were sad enough that I'm glad to be able to pretend that (somehow) the cat is happy and safe.

Also someone called me a Jopzier truther after my response to e1, and I was like "IDK, I don't even know these guys," but yes I 100% do ship Jopzier now. Jopson was so sweet taking care of Crozier when he wasn't feeling well! Plus Jopson was like "🥺🥺🥺 You didn't let me shave you or help you put on your underwear? 🥺🥺🥺 Plz dom me, sir, I can't function otherwise." and Crozier literally responded by promoting him. I feel like that might not have been what Jopson was aiming for, but still, sweet! (I started searching for Jopson content and immediately found Jopson/Hickey art, which I apparently also ship now despite first liking Jopson for the Jopzier angle.)

Speaking of shipping, I'm increasingly appreciating Goodsir/Lady Silence. You go girl, be the big spoon to your scared little man! I'm sure you two aren't doomed by the narrative at all...

I'm also disappointed that for all the fan content I've seen about Fitzjames's gender feels, he apparently doesn't even WEAR the dress? He just holds it up in front of himself??? Tragic. It looked like there were people in dresses at the carnival too, so he totally could have gotten away with it though only metaphorically; he literally might not have been able to escape the fire otherwise.

10 characters/10 fandoms

YESSS THANK YOU @jaynesilver FINALLY MY WIDE READING OF FIC COMES IN HANDYYY

We're gonna go chronologically through my life because I think that's REALLY FUN (I legit couldn't choose a west wing character just know that if there's a secret 11th character is the ensemble cast of the west wing)

Artemis Fowl, Artemis Fowl

My first antihero, and we started YOUNG on that, I was reading these books premiddle school. I was obsessed with these books as a kid, and I'm still obsessed with them today. There's rumors of a third, more adult series when Artemis and Holly may get together and I will EAT THAT SHIT UP I LOVE THEM

2. Vexen, Kingdom Hearts

I Legit think this man primed me to enjoy Hux as a character. Like, I'm not kidding, I was obsessed with him as a kid. I'm 90% certain I wrote deviant art fan fic, but I have since abandoned that account so it's hard to know for sure if it ever got published. I was definitely roll playing at age, like, 13? way too young but god I loved him he was BATSHIT

3. Ianto Jones, Torchwood

Man, I can't really explain how much Ianto Jones as a character, he and Jack's kiss on screen, their relationship, and the events of the 456 changed me? It was DEEP though, I woke up the next day a different person, with much less trust in television writer's and their good intentions.

4. Desmond Miles, Assassin's Creed

We have to jump a few years to mid high school, because no joke I was on that Kingdom Hearts train for a WHILE. I love him, he was probably my first blorbo, before the term was invented. I tried to play the games after (MAJOR SPOILER) but I just couldn't do it. They didn't have the draw without him.

5. Stiles Stilinski, Teen Wolf

Now we've hit late high school, arguably my second blorbo. As a kid with ADHD, he was no joke valuable representation to me, even if it was sometimes played for laughs. I was also the least athletic kid on multiple sports teams who still tried really hard, so I got him, yknow?

6. Will Graham, Hannibal

It's legit tough for me to chose if I like the Will Graham of the books or the TV show better. (Don't ask me about the movies, I haven't seen them, and I probably won't. Movies and I have trouble. See: ADHD.) I'm not sure if he's a blorbo or just like, a regular character I like? My hannibal phase was my last 8 year ship, so the line is pretty blurred.

Now we've reached the part where I dived into a lot of fandoms at once, because I dropped out of college and kind of did a weird spiral? Idk, we've lost chronology is what I'm saying

7. Artemis Crock, Young Justice

god I cannot say enough good things about her and I also cannot express how much (MAJOR SPOILER) made me mad FOR HER. Like it was cruel specifically to her and we should talk more about that, honestly. She was definitely a blorbo, but we're still PRE blorbo as a word in my vocabulary.

8. Darcy Lewis, MCU

My first real fandom bicycle, I ship her with everyone from Loki to Agent Coulson to Natasha. As someone who often feels like the comic relief character in their own life, I appreciate her.

9. Kent Parson, OMG Check Please

My sweet, sweet disaster son. My emotionally constipated hockey boy. The reason captain america is my SECOND favorite character with a birthday on the Fourth of July. I love him, he was amazing, and also my first experience with like, really toxic fandom was being so mad when people tried to equate his canon mental health issues with a noncanon, imagined abuse?? It was wild, I ended up so distressed about it i did have to leave the fandom.

10. Armitage Hux, Star Wars

I mean you've been on my blog for like ten seconds i think it's obvious?? The others needed explanations but like YOURE HERE YOU KNOW

WAIT I FORGOT TO TAG PEOPLE SHIT @sariastrategos @gingersnappish @fallingdeeperintothispit

My People

I’m trying to fill out a google form to vote on panels for a tiny online con, and it just gives me so many warm and fuzzy feelings.

Aging in Fandom Cross-Cultural Fandom Hands off my pairing! How the "must read" fics have changed over time Intergenerational Communication in Fandom Learning Languages from TV Maybe it's crazy, maybe it's fandom Oh my! Look what they did with CGI Pimping in the Digital Age Raising Fans Soulmate Goose of Enforcement and other Soulmate Tropes Spoilers in the Binging Age Vidders Chat: The Panel What is a Vid? When  Cultures Collide: Fanning in the Internet Age Writing fanfic for fandoms that aren't your primary language Your kink is not my kink and that's okay. 3s, 4s and mores: Polyamourous Ships Asian Dramas Boy Love Dramas Chicken Soup Anime Fancy waistcoats, pocket watches and attitude Help! My fandom jumped the shark! House of Mouse: What have they done to your fandom? I hate you, I love you Multi-Talented Artists Münster, München, & Berlin: Slashing the many cities of Tatort MXTX New 2 U: Old Fandoms you missed & where to find them Poirot, Sherlock & Nero The Powers that be: Religion in Fan Fiction Sexy voice actors Slashing German Cop Shows So many Sherlocks, So little time. Star Trek: So many different "universes" in one fandom Still Crazy (In Love) after all these years We few, we happy, we band of buggered: Small and Rare Fandoms Which Witcher: Netflix, Books, Games, & other series Yea Verily Olden Days: pre-Gutenberg Fandoms You always hurt the ones you love Baby Boerne vs Mature Boerne: The changing characterization of Boerne on Tatort Münster Cherry Magic: Oblivious even with telepathy Ghosts with Gay Panic Hannibal Keeping Up with the Winchesters MCU Moon Knight: WTF? Once and Future Merlin: BBC Merlin Our Flag Means Death Quantum Leap, the little show that could (slash without touching) Quantum Leap Reboot Secondary Supernatural Pairings SGU: The redheaded stepchild of Stargate Sorting Out Potter Stargate SG1 & SGA Starsky & Hutch: Oh Who are the people in your neighborhood. Supernatural: What are the new classic fics? Ask the Artist Ask a (Fan) Artist: How do you DO that? Discord 101 Discord 201 Fandom Digivolution? Fannish Tik Tok Finding betas for cross-cultural fandoms Finding source for vidding Getting an ear for character voices & slang How do they do that? How to subtitle How to write a case fic Search for Fic Search for Vids

So what was the process of creating Timeline Canon like? Was it entirely generated by asks and threads and random ideas and totally made up as you went along, or were there parts that were planned well in advance? Did you always know where the story would end up, or was it a process of discovery?

So - answering these together because they kind of play with each other - and I! have time right now!

Timeline Canon was more built on my having threads with a lot of different partners and my brain just lumping them together into oh, this plays into this, these go together - which is something I did with other RP characters, too, not just with Jess, just...I didn't try to show them in an overarching story like this. Most of the later verses and threads were made up as I went along sort of - with the exception of knowing that Jess and Scully could not end well because. Jess ended up with Regina after her period of Default (I don't remember when I added that year of Default in - it might not have been pre-writing with River, but like. Once started story-ing things out, knew that was going to end. tragically).

There WERE parts planned in advance with the earlier stuff, though! Willow and I did a lot of plotting of how Jess and Roger's relationship looked like prior to the movie and talked a lot about it, so stuff like their letters and the events they referenced, we knew the major stuff in advance, but smaller stuff not so much! (And sometimes we did the other threads surrounding those and then they got to comment on them in letters later! Which was fun.)

...and then Haruko and Eleanor - I wrote both of those, two, so that was me wanting to play around with things just for the fun of it. I brought them in because I wanted them, etc.

But I think - and I touched on this a bit with the last ask of yours I answered - these being rp threads is the important thing. Who I wrote with heavily relied on who I met and wanted to write with (and whether or not they wanted to write with me) - so I didn't really actively look for characters or sought them out for parts in a story - I wrote with them because I liked their character, I liked the way they interpreted the character, and I could see ways for Jess to interact with them (or vice-versa - Alana is a case for this, I think, because I had no idea who she was prior to meeting Kat and was not at all interested in seeing Hannibal (this changed later), but she was a good writer and I'd seen her writing with Ducky - who wrote Andromeda - and then she wanted to write with Jess and we figured stuff out from there).

But, like, when I started writing Jess, I aggressively did not want to write ships. Romantic etc. At all. I was glad she had a canon husband because then I did not have to deal with that, because it wasn't something I was interested in writing. (And also a lot - a LOT - of the sphere I ended up in with Jess wrote smut, which I aggressively did not want to write.) Jae's Regina I think was the first ship not-Roger I started writing, and that had more to do with seeing how the characters interacted with each other than my wanting to ship with her? They just. played well together. (But also Jae and I had good writing chemistry that way. I think almost every character we have written against each other has ended up in a ship with at least one of our other characters (with two exceptions that I can think of). But that's the thing about writing with people in RP - whether characters get shipped or not really relies on your writing chemistry with the other writer and what your character says about their character; River and I for MONTHS wrote Jess and Scully just like I am intrigued but also I have no idea what my character feels about yours I don't even know if they like each other but they don't hate each other what even is this.

But also. The part of the RP sphere I was in were mostly female characters? There were other male characters - like @neko-shadow! whose interactions with Jess I love! - but Jess? wasn't interested? in Shadow? that way? But they flirted? All the time?

And also. A lot of people in the RP sphere who were into shipping and writing a bunch of smut also cycled porn gifs? Because this was before the ban? And I? was not at all interested in seeing a bunch of dicks on my dash?

...and also personal preference may have fallen into this because I, personally, am not as interested in guys romantically as I am in girls (I'm super super ace. SO ACE), and that may have fed into what happened with Jess? (Most of my RP characters have had more female ships - most of them haven't had male ships at all - but like. The part of the RP sphere I was in was also. mostly female characters who were interested in other female characters. That was just. How it happened.)

GET  TO  KNOW  THE  MUN.

WHAT  MADE  YOU  PICK  UP  THE  MUSE  YOU  HAVE  ?   before may 2023, i had no idea who patrick bateman was. i had been on a break from tumblr since 2021 because of uni & other reasons, so i had been missing tumblr rp. i also felt, the year before, i was going through a villian arc myself lmao ( again, personal reasons). i had an urge to read american psycho when i was chilling on my bed one afternoon even though i never heard of it before. my ooc friend bought me the book for my birthday and well, here i am.

IS  THERE  ANYTHING  YOU  DON'T  LIKE  TO  WRITE  ?  apart from the inappropriate types of writing, i really hate writing unplotted starter calls because immediately my brain directs itself to first time meetings and i find those a bit tedious if it's repeated over a number of excessive times. that's my main point right now.

IS  THERE  ANYTHING  YOU  REALLY  ENJOY  WRITING  ?   i haven't got a chance to write it out properly yet but i really want to dig deep into his psychopathic frame of mind when he loses it. i think it gives me a chance as a writer to dive deep into a psychopath's mind. i am also really enjoying writing him in his family and his college verses atm. i think they are also a bit of a breather, considering he isn't too much of an ass until he starts his murders at college.

HOW  DO  YOU  COME  UP  WITH  YOUR  HEADCANONS  ?  inspirations and whenever he is in the mood to share with me. it's also key terms like family, choices etc that help me brew up some headcanons.

DO  YOU  WRITE  IN  SILENCE  OR  LISTEN  TO  MUSIC  ?  most of the time, it has to be in silence or if i am watching tv in the background, it has to be low. i get easily distracted if i'm listening to music, but if it is songs from the movie, then i do get inspired more to write, but i mostly write in silence.

DO  YOU  PLAN  YOUR  REPLIES  OR  WING  THEM  ?   pre-planned. winging in replies are rare because tbh he possesses me into do what he wants me to write, so he knows what he is going to say. he does have weird mood swings so if you think he has changed his mind about something or if he is suddenly being erractic, his planning and not mine.

DO  YOU  ENJOY  SHIPPING  ?   i do. with my other characters i have written in the past, i have adored shipping. tbh when i first created patrick's blog, i was going to rule out shipping because of the type of person he is but i knew that relationships with bateman are always going to be somewhat unbalanced, although not as extreme, but unbalanced. i decided to be like okay, open mind and no expectations but it seems to have worked out well.

WHAT'S  YOUR  ALIAS/NAME  ?   my name is lauren and you are absolutely free to use it. i love my name! i did go by an alias but i scrapped that and i have been using my real name.

AGE  ?   25

BIRTHDAY  ?  9th june

FAVORITE  COLOR  ?  always loved the colour purple / lilac and navy blue.

FAVORITE  SONG  ?   my favourite song ?? it varies. currently my favourite is cherri cherri lady by modern talking.

LAST  MOVIE  YOU  WATCHED  ?  society of the snow on netflix. buggered my mind but patrick enjoyed lmao.

LAST  SHOW  YOU  WATCHED  ?   literally finished hannibal series on netflix.

LAST  SONG  YOU  LISTENED  TO  ?   fire burning by sean kingston.

FAVORITE  SEASON  ?  summer

DO  YOU  HAVE  A  TUMBLR  BEST  FRIEND  ?   i can't rule one but i have many tumblr besties.

stolen from :@bravevolunteer tagging: you.