there aren’t enough songs about being 19

Fic Writer Review

Tagged by @fontainebleau22, thanks for the tag, sorry for the delay!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

26 at the moment.

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

722 309. I’d have thought it would be more considering how long some of mine seem to get, although looking at other people’s answers to this meme, I guess 26 isn’t really a huge number!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

My first fic ever was a little Lord of the Rings experiment for an exchange thing. But my first proper dip into writing for a fandom would have been Breaking Bad, where I wrote for a couple of years before it felt like my ideas had run their course. Then there was a Kingsman fic, and then Mag7 where - similarly to BrBa - wrote feverishly for a couple years until it felt like the well had been plumbed. Oh yeah and then jumped into the Marvel fandom to drop one Marvel fic before immediately jumping back out lol.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

So the Marvel fic has officially just become my most kudoed fic, which is kind of hilarious considering it was a SUEZ! CANAL! FIC! But in my opinion, a good one lol. So yeah, it would be 1. The SamBucky Suez Canal fic, 2. The Kingsman soccer AU, 3. Desert Sand, 4. Chisolm’s 7, and 5. Blue Devils. That last one surprises me, but I guess it was an early one for the fandom, so I think it became an automatic read.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not

I do! It’s possible I’ve missed some here and there, but generally I try to get them all.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think any of them! While my fics definitely include angst, ideally it’s still in a fun way, or at minimum, bittersweet? I don’t generally want the last taste in a reader’s mouth to be angst. ALTHOUGH. I really really wanted to include an epilogue to the selkie fic that’s kind of angsty. Basically the story would end, but then many years later we’d see an old man get off a bus on the coastal road, carrying a suitcase. He’d be wearing a suit, clearly back from many years travelling. He’d walk to the coast, back over a hill where there’d once been a little fishing cottage, long since torn down. He’d walk down to the beach and into a little cove where he’d kneel by the water he knew better than anyone. Opening the suitcase he’d take out a box which he’d then empty into the ocean, ashes spreading across the water. He’d take out a folded bundle of cloth and wrap it around his shoulders. Then he’d dive into the water, disappearing into the waves, leaving nothing but an empty suitcase behind him, and a folded pile of clothes.

I loved that ending but I’m still not 100% sure if it was keeping in tone with the actual ending, so I left it out. Maybe one day I’ll go and add it as en extra chapter snippet.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t know if I’d call them ‘crossovers’ exactly, although I did stick Goody and Billy into a Some Like it Hot ‘jazz band on a train’ situation, and I also did a Breaking Bad one that used some elements of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Those feel more like ‘AUs’ though. I like situational crossovers, but I’ve never been super into fics where characters from different fandoms actually interact.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Thankfully not. The most off-putting comment I’ve gotten was someone who - despite being very complimentary - decided to make a full-on laundry list all the anachronisms in a chapter lmao, like what. Stuff like "interesting that this character used this expression when XYZ would only been invented 10 years later!” etc. I’m positive they didn’t realize how it came off, but still, that was kind of hilarious in its.....obliviousness lol. It was special.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do. And I guess I’ve done the full spectrum of ‘fade to black’ to ‘describe every bead of sweat in pearlescent detail’. It really depends on what the fic calls for! I’ve done some I’m quite proud of tbh, but there are others I’d like to go back and have another stab at, just because they felt kinda cookie-cutter.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

There’ve been a couple! I can’t remember which ones specially, but I had some people asking to translate some Breaking Bad ones, and I think a Mag7 one too. I remember someone messaging to ask permission like “We love your fics in Russia!” and that was a very sweet and wild thing to hear.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, I wrote one with @yoporkchopsandwiches! Our Victorian opium dens Breaking Bad AU lol. I was just thinking of that recently actually and remembering how fun it was to read what the other wrote! We plotted out most of it together, and then took turns writing chapters or scenes. But of course while writing you come up with other details or ideas, so we’d then present the new chapter to the other with all the new bits added. And it was so fun to read what the other came up with like ‘omg no way didn’t see that coming/good idea!’ and then picking up their idea from there. In that sense it was almost like improv but for writers.

13. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

That I’ve written? I think I’ve had the most fun with Goodnight/Billy, partly for the time period, partly for the dynamic, but mostly for the plausibility. While I really enjoyed writing BrBa, it felt more like it came from enthusiasm for the show, not the central ship lol. Don’t get me wrong, the chemistry and its potential was extremely fun to write in a fic setting, but I don’t find I actually shipped it while watching the show itself. Whereas it’s been nice with Mag7 to write for a ship that’s actually....more believable lol. 

14. What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Ugh I can’t beLIEVE I have an unfinished fic up on ao3 lol it haunts me. I was sure I was done with Goodnight/Billy, and then early quarantine last year I had a train robbers AU idea, so I posted a couple chapters. But I don’t think my heart was super in it, I was more just messing around with the idea. I don’t want to delete it, but I’m also not super motivated to finish it haha, but we’ll see what happens. But tbh I like the poem summary better than the fic itself:P

15. What are your writing strengths?

Plotting, keeping things moving, and making stories feel visual maybe? They’re almost all movies in my head anyways, so I think I have good instincts for ‘cinematic moments’.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I’m a little lazy, and also ‘end-product oriented’. In some ways it’s helpful to picture the whole fic before you write it, but sometimes it results in some scenes feeling slightly slapdash because I’m just trying to get them out to move onto the next. Like ‘everyone did everything I wanted to in this scene? Great, next.’ I could stand to ‘stop and smell the roses’ more while I write, and actually see what else I can do to improve a scene.

(also if I use a word once it sticks in my head I end up using it like 5 other times in a scene and don’t notice lol, I need to stop that)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

All for it! Depends how it’s done though. I personally find long scenes of dialogue where you have to constantly jump down to the author’s notes for the translations to be distracting. I like when it’s integrated more naturally where actual translations aren’t super important. Like in River Grit, Billy overhears this little exchange between Goodnight and his childhood nanny:

“Ah c’est vrai, mon petit Bonsoir! J’en peux pas le croire!” she cried out and laughed as she embraced Goody. Billy realized with a start that he actually recognized one of the words: ‘Bonsoir’. Goodnight. (insert brief flashback of Goody teaching him the nickname) / “Ma Serafine,” Goodnight said with a laugh. “C’est vrai que tu ne vieillis pas. Tu vas me rendre jaloux, heh?” / Billy had no idea what Goodnight was saying, but he sure as hell recognized Goodnight’s tone for flattery, and it was confirmed when the old woman laughed and smacked his arm.

What they’re actually saying is: “Oh it’s true, my little Goodnight! I can’t believe it!” / “My Serafine, it’s true you never age. You’re going to make me jealous”. But it doesn’t matter because this fic is from Billy’s POV so it’s about how he experiences the language around him, which is why I wouldn’t have included a translation for the reader. If you understand it then it’s a bonus, but the words themselves aren’t really the point! 

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

That lil Lord of the Rings fic.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmm for Mag7 I’ve always liked River Grit and love how it turned out. I also think Ashes feels very complete as a fic and I liked the flashback format. And while it’s not my favourite fic, in hindsight I’m impressed with the Kingsman football fic and how I had to write about 5 different soccer games and make them all feel different and exciting, and not just some variation of ‘He kicked the ball!’ I’m really pleased with how those sequences all turned out.

La fin! Not tagging anyone this time, but please feel free to do this if you see it! I love when people just take initiative to do these things without waiting for a tag (also please tag me in it if you do, ‘cause I love reading these things lol)

Bright as the Night Sky (Part 19):

ALRIGHT! SO HERE’S THE MOMENT WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!! 

If you still don’t understand what Feyre’s planning for Rhys then just keep reading...so this will be my first try at smut!?! So give me any pointers if its lacking. So slightly NSFW

ALSO that this chapter will be significantly longer than any of my other chapters because I really go into detail so ENJOY!!!!!!!

Shout Out: @acotargaryen​ @gingerhearro​ @fulmenetaestus​ @feysandfeels​ @rowanismybae​ @sparkleywonderful​ @mm23219​ @velaris-starlight​ @acourtofrunesandwands​ @dr-woodsprite​ @iwouldtrustmylifetohagrid​ @hellosparkyislove​ @acourtofredqueens​ @feyreismeiamfeyre​ @daughterxofxnight​ @aqueenpromised​

Sections:

[AO3]:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Part 5:

Part 6:

Part 7:

Part 8:

Part 9:

Part 10:

Part 11:

Part 12:

Part 13:

Part 14:

Part 15:

Part 16:

Part 17:

Part 18:

Part 20:

I can feel my nerves getting the best of me. Pacing outside the throne room door isn’t always a good sign. On the contrary, it’s a very bad one.

Controlling my emotions from exiting down the bond is almost excruciatingly difficult, what with me being nervous and my-mate-being-on-the-other-side-of-the-door-completely-unaware-of-my-intentions and all.

I try to think of all of Mor’s encouraging words and gently finger the delicate choker now adorning the column of my throat. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, willing courage into my limbs before I finally push through those huge double doors.

The throne room is empty, just I had planned. The cavernous hall looming above me as I will a glamour over my seductive features as I approach a curious Rhys sitting on his throne. His eyes light up at the glamour of my pretty Night Court dress and the tiny box in my hand.

“What’s this?” He asks I approach his comfortable form leaning on the formidable throne. He seems perfectly at ease, with his crown gracing his perfect forehead and his usual black jacket and trousers. He eyes me appraisingly as I hand him the tiny box, allowing a little bit of my intentions to filter through my words.

“Happy anniversary.” I whisper in a sultry tone into his ear, as he grabs the box and smirks at what would appear to be my obvious intentions.

“Another lacy number you want me to approve?” He purrs as he pulls on the delicate string holding the box together.

It’s as he finally removes the lid and finds nothing inside when he turns to look up at me and finds me cloaked in tendrils of night, my outfit finally visible to him. His violet eyes widen and he perks up in his throne, his back going ramrod straight.

“I couldn’t figure out how to fit myself in a box.” I purr as I make my way down the throne steps, allowing the slip of fabric to grace him with my backside. “So I found a new way to please my High Lord.” I whisper in a sultry undertone as I turn to face him and bolt the doors leading in and out of the throne room. “And in turn…you’re mine for the evening.” I allow some bite into my words, knowing he enjoys it when I’m rough.

Rhys doesn’t even flinch. Not at the magically bolted doors, not even at the seductress before him.

No no.

Not even close.

His eyes are trained on me and, in a purely animalistic motion, he rolls his shoulders, hands placed on his knees with a feline smile gracing his sinful lips. A quiet growl escaping his throat nearly causing my ovaries to convulse inside of me. No this isn’t a man to be seduced.

This is predator.

And his gaze is on me.

Refusing to back down, I cast him a sultry smile underneath the slip of silk covering my face and  cast the room in darkness, my night filling the cavernous room until all that’s left is the throne before me and the wicked predator watching my every move.

“A nice trick Feyre darling.” Rhys booms from his throne. “But you forget that I am Lord of the Night.” He breathes in the most delicious voice. I watch as a darkness, much darker and stronger than mine, prowls towards my body and curls around one leg, snaking up to my mid thigh before tightening it’s hold. “And that you belong to me…mate.” He nearly growls, those feline eyes glowing in the darkness as if this is where he belongs; in the sultry cover of the night.

“That is where you’re mistaken.” I breathe and I allow light to fill up every inch of me. The brightest, purest light and I shine it onto my mate’s darkness and watch as the dark tendril wrapped around my leg slithers out of my reach. I follow it’s movement until it returns to it’s owner, my mate now smiling smugly like a preening cat at my audacity.

“Prove me wrong.” He purrs and relaxes his poised posture and leans back into his chair, those violet eyes alive with a carnal fire that I know will consume me.

And as of now, the games have begun.

I slowly introduce the music, allowing its sensual chords to soothe the night, to ease away all the fear and violence, leaving only the passions of the body.

Rhys is still leaning back into his chair, enjoying every second. But I’ll get him to sit right, I’ll get him to growl my name and I’ll get him to his knees before me. He will not forget my little stunt tonight.

Oh no. Not tonight.

So I let go of all the tension in my body and succumb to the humming in my blood. To the lust racking my brain and just trust my inner nature as I raise my hands above my head and sensually sway my hips to the thrum of the music. Allowing my head to tip back in ecstasy as I kick out one leg and allow him to gaze at the white of my flesh, at the graceful arc of my foot before twirling back to gage his reaction.

The passion in his eyes is undeniable, the lust overriding his features exposing his elongated canines and the claws at his hands.

I am bringing out his beast…and I like that very much.

I call to his baser side and drop to the balls of my feet, allowing the thin material to fan around me as I crouch and let out a low hiss, my canines protruding from my lips as I summon my wings and feel them unfurl from my back. The entire time watching him as he tries to restrain himself but he releases a rumbling growl as he stalks down those dais steps, each stride revealing the wings taking form on his back, their pointed talons menacing in the darkness of the room with only my body as a source of light.

I wait until he’s close before kicking out a long leg and catching his foot and I nearly laugh with wicked glee as he falls and lands on his back. I give him no time as I prowl towards his fallen form and straddle his narrow hips, pinning his muscular arms to the floor above his head.

He struggles underneath me but I use my magic to keep him pinned as I grind my hips against his and watch him writhe underneath me. Those violet eyes smoldering.

That’s when I know that if he ever catches me, he will make me pay.

But I can feel my heart picking up pace as I lean down and whisper oh-so-softly into his ear; “That’s what you get for all those times pinning me underneath you. It’s no fun when you can’t play back.” I tease as I nip his earlobe and swipe my tongue up the column of his throat, earning me a deep rumble in his chest. “You’re mine.” I purr as I lean back and unbutton his shirt, button by button. Each one agonizingly slipping off before my fingers graze another one.

I make sure that he’s watching all of this, those beautiful wings restless underneath him as I finally finish his shirt and lick my lips. Enjoying the way his eyes are trained on my tongue as I press a proprietary kiss on his muscular stomach, his muscles tightening at the contact of my moist lips. “My little Illyrian isn’t enjoying this I see.” I tease some more as I swipe my tongue up from his navel to his chest. He growls underneath me and almost manages to override my magic before I strengthen my hold on him. “Ah ah ah.” I chide, as I crawl over his delicious body, making sure to press my core against him. “You don’t get to finish this tonight.” I chuckle darkly before winnowing a few yards away and allowing him to break free of my magic and to get to his feet.

He’s ravenous now. His chest rising and falling as he tries to control the beast prowling underneath his skin. Not to mention that he left his shirt behind on the tile floor.

Not that anybody’s complaining.

I dance around the five feet radius that I’ve set around him, enjoying the way those calculating eyes never leave me and I know he’s planning on striking. Especially since he has his hands clasped behind his back as if I’m some sight show.

We’ll see about that.

I take him by surprise and winnow behind him, running a light finger over the silky membrane of his wing before winnowing away. He looses a growl and swipes for me but I’m out of his reach. I continue to taunt him this way, hiding myself in the shrouds of his magic before peeking up and running a hand over his gorgeous wings and relishing the shudders that rack his body every time I touch him.

I’ve nearly worked him into a frenzy when I finally decide to pay attention to the bond. All this time, we were relying on our primal senses to pick up on the other, ignoring the spiritual one binding us together. It’s as I’m fiddling with the bond and trying to find its source that an iron grip bands me to a chest and I scent his usual odor of citrus and smoke with the musky scent of his sweat.

His arm is pinning me into place, his magic forcing my arms to remain at my side as he takes his time inhaling my scent, his nose skimming my hair, down the slender slope of my neck to my shoulder where he teases the sensitive skin with his canines but not claiming me. Despite how his blood sings for it, how his instincts scream at him to sink his teeth into my flesh and to feast upon me with his lips and tongue. To remind me to not test my mate again.

“You’ve been very naughty Feyre darling.” He growls, sending shivers down my spine and leaving my knees weak.

I knew he would catch up to me. There was no way I could out maneuver Rhys forever. And a part of me is grateful, aching to have him fill the intrinsic bond between us. But another part wants to continue playing the game.

“How so.” I answer breathlessly as one of his hands parts the slit in my dress and runs a calloused palm through the inside my thigh, stopping before my pulsing heat. Refusing to placate my basest desires.

“Don’t play coy love. It doesn’t suit you.” He murmurs into my ear as he trails a finger down the inside of my wing, causing me to arch my back against him. I bite on my lower lip to suffocate the moan straining to come out. He repeats the gesture, curving his finger into the sensitive spot just before the junction of my wings to my back. I can’t stop the moan from escaping my lips this time as Rhysand tightens his hold and removes the silk hiding my lips from his seeking eyes. “That’s it Feyre.” He breathes. “Moan for me.” He does it again, this time pressing his entire hand onto my wing and stretching it out to it’s first joint. He has to tighten his hold to keep me from falling since my knees decided to give out.

“Rhys.” I whimper as he continues his tortuous ministrations, reveling in my pleasure as I try to focus my mind onto the bond. I grope the long cord connecting us, searching for it’s source, anything at this point, to get him to stop before my entire plan ends up in ruins.

It’s as I’m nearing the other side of the bond, towards the masculine essence of my mate that I sense it. The pulsing of another life force, the same power that forged us, calling to me. I sense myself traveling down the bond towards that source until I dip a hand into’s its raw power and the light sucks me in, refusing to take a piece but a whole and before I can object I’m plunged deep into the abyss.

Only resurfacing a second later bathed in the ethereal blue light that I had witnessed at the mating dance a few months before. Rhys sucks in a breath behind me and I take that moment to break out of his hold and to winnow a few yards away. Except this time, I leave a blue cord behind me, and as I gaze down I see that it’s protruding from my navel, an extension of our creation. I gaze up in wonder and gasp at my mate standing before me.

His usually tan skin is alive, his veins running bright blue underneath his skin, his violet eyes now two glowing orbs and his wings crisscrossed with delicate blue veins, pulsing with the power of creation. I can sense his similar awe down the bond, now a wide open channel physically bonding us together. As I stand there memorizing the male before me, a sharp tug of wanting shatters my control and I see Rhysand on the other side, eyes remembering my past treasons, and his hands are now wrapped around the living cord, pulling me to him as I’m dragged across the room before tugged into his hold again.

This time his reproach is much kinder, his canines nip the skin along my neck as he quietly reprimands me, his broad hands encircling my bare waist. We are beyond words at this point, our entire bodies subject to the other’s mind, our true natures just unveiling themselves. I’m practically melting in his arms as his tongue soothes the angry skin left behind by his teeth. I can feel my head lolling back as he wraps me around his waist, his considerable length pressing against my thighs.

He continues to worship my skin when another pulse of the bond as our souls being sucked into the other. Our very beings coalescing unless we release the bond but my mind can’t think through the pleasurable fog and Rhysand releases a groan as another pulse has us scrambling to remember our names. And before I can comprehend anything Rhys winnows us to our bedroom, placing me onto our bed, his hips pressing against mine as we fill up the room with our light.

I take in a gasp of air before his lips crash into mine and his tongue sweeps into the recess of my mouth, eliciting moans from my throat as he does wonders to my tongue. I grind my hips impatiently against him and relish the growl erupting from deep in his chest.

He presses those damn lips against my ear, his breath coming in heavy pants that has my blood boiling with liquid fire. “You have been very naughty Feyre…and I’m going to make you pay…I’m going to make you scream so loud that all of Velaris will know that I’m your mate. And that you’re mine. All mine until the darkness comes to claim us…and I’m going to fill you with pleasure…” he breathes as he paws at my breast before ripping open the bodice and ducking to press those gods-damn lips against my breast that has me mewling pathetically underneath him.

And he continues murmuring words onto my skin, ignoring the impatient pulse of the bond as he takes his time pulling apart my skirt underneath him until I’m completely naked. Those calloused hands memorizing my glowing skin as he runs them all over me, taking detail of every inch of me. “My queen.” He whispers onto the skin of my stomach. “My mate.” He murmurs onto my neck as he presses his chest flush with mine and takes my swollen lips in his, sliding his teeth along my bottom lip before pulling it into his mouth and sucking on it softly, his eyes never leaving mine as I pull on the buttons of his trouser and slide them off of him, leaving him naked above me.

He sighs against my mouth as another jab of the bond reminds us that we have to hurry. He sits back up, his legs still straddling my hips as he gazes down at my naked body beneath, his eyes glazed-over as he runs another proprietary hand along my body, around the curve of my waist, the slope of my breast…

“So beautiful.” He whispers, his breath fanning along my skin. “Every inch mesmerizing.” He breathes as he looks back at me. “My mate…my queen…my Feyre.” He sighs as he finally submits to the bond, his canines finding the soft skin connecting my neck to my shoulder, his hands finding my hips and guiding me towards him until one final pulse of the bond has him biting into my shoulder and thrusting so deep into me, I can’t breathe, only focus on the considerable length inside of me as the bond sings with passion, it’s power locking onto my bones and filling me with pleasure beyond comprehension. Rhysand groans above me as he continues to make love to me, his mouth pulling on my own as we each find our pleasure, our climaxes reaching a fever pitch that I don’t think we can recover from as the bond heightens every sense, every nerve, until every breath feels like a shot of adrenaline in our veins.

I can feel the light glowing brighter with every thrust, as if all the raw magic is collecting itself, an immense pressure in my chest as our climaxes grow closer and I’m moaning underneath him as my body tries to cope with his pleasure on top of mine and judging by his frequent groans, the same goes for him. It’s like we’re reaching a point we never thought we could reach and I can sense my body clenching around him, preparing for the shower of pleasure until with a satisfying roar we both climax together, the bond thrumming inside of us bursting free in a wave of light and leaving us breathless in each other’s arms.

For once Rhysand is so exhausted that he can hardly lift his chest from crushing me, his breathing is ragged as he tries to call on his muscles to pull him to the other side of the bed and once he manages to lift his body from mine, we lay there in silence, trying to catch our breaths and recover from the immense pleasure that nearly wrecked us.

I nearly groan from the soreness between my legs as I roll over to face my mate who’s lying on his stomach, his violet eyes back to their usual color. We stay there a few seconds more, just looking each other in the eyes before he extends a corded arm and wraps me to his side, running a tender hand over the side of my waist. After a small beat of silence he speaks;

“What in hell convinced you to do that?” He groans, one hand massaging his forehead.

“I wanted to make our anniversary special.” I breathe, still out of breath.

This is when Rhysand lets out a dark chuckle as he hugs me closer to his side, his eyes glazed from our experience. “Oh you did.” He says as he passes a lazy finger down the slope of my nose. “But you were beautiful Feyre…and you nearly drove me mad back at the throne room. I wanted to slam you onto the nearest surface and remind you why you don’t tease your High Lord.” He growls and I shudder even though my body is more than sated at the moment. We remain there a few seconds more before Rhysand’s finger passes along the column of my throat and finds the diamond choker. “Who gave you this?” He mumbles, his voice thick with the after affects of our pleasure and the ultimate exhaustion.

“Mor thought it would be a fitting anniversary gift.” I answer and Rhysand’s wicked smile nearly has me groaning for him again but he smothers it by taking a deep breath and settling further into the comforter.

“Thank you for the gift my little Cursebreaker…” He murmurs as he presses a tender kiss to my lips. “But let’s not do this again for another century.” I giggle quietly and silently agree. Although beyond pleasurable, its a little too much to take.

His broad hands gently caress my skin, the curve of my waist, the slope of my backside until his hand reaches the flat expanse of my stomach. By this time, I’m happily enjoying his silent touches, eyes closed as I try to fall asleep when his rough voice wakes me.

“What’s this?” I peer down to where his hand is just shy of covering the tiniest spark of light. The same color as the bond. I smile and rub the small area glowing just underneath my navel. “It seems a little piece of our love making has remained.” I tease and Rhysand only chuckles softly as he passes a hand over the skin underneath my navel to the tiny speck of light glowing inside of me.

Author’s Note:

So my first try at smut, don’t really know how good it is so comments appreciated although I might not be doing another smutty scene soon...

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All the questions :)

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? Maybe a little shorter like 5′8″. 6′ is far to fall lol2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) MOTHERFUCKING DRAGONS or a Samoyed!!!!!!!3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Comfortable. I wish I could wear nicer clothes, but I can’t (yet)4: What was your favorite video game growing up? *Smash voice* Super Smash Brothers Melee!!!!!!5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: Food, home, and honestly @dontmakemekickyourass and @ladyofthecampfires pretty equally6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Warning: Boring AF7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? clearly we didn’t read this through haha8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] Melancholic9: Are you ticklish? Hella :/10: Are you allergic to anything? pollen I think?11: What’s your sexuality? Asexual12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Cocoa! :D13: Are you a cat or dog person? Yes14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Elf? I’m Tolkien trash haha15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Dodie Clark maybe? I’m not sure16: How tall are you? Just about 6′17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I already changed it twice haha. But this time I really think my name fits me. So I mean legally I’d change my name to Elriel :p18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] Way too much! I’m not sure anymore, dad doesn’t have a scale in the apartment. But I was like 262 when I left home, now I think I’ve lost weight?19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Ye!20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Spaaaaace!!!!!21: Are you religious? Ehh, not really. I have my faith but I’m not into praying and such22: Pet peeves? I have a few, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? I’m already pretty nocturnal, but I’d rather be diurnal. Makes life easier24: Favorite constellation? Big dipper. Back home I could always use it as a direction teller. And using it and another constellation (whose name I don’t recall) You can always find the North Star25: Favorite star? All of them?!?!?!?!?!26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? I don’t understand27: Any phobias or fears? Hella. Spiders, heights, small spaces, elevators, being alone forever...and more28: Do you think global warming is real? Yes????29: Do you believe in reincarnation? Not really30: Favorite movie? Lord of the Rings31: Do you get scared easily? I get NERVOUS easily... scared, depends32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 3! I don’t remember one, I was an infant when he tried to kill me lol33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] Good posts, not an asshole 9/1034: What is a color that calms you? ? No idea35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Western Massachusetts. Or Canada! I like the cold. But I’d like to travel all sorts of places! I wanna visit my mom’s family in South Africa36: Where were you born? Central Massachusetts37: What is your eye color? Hazel. Usually brown, sometimes more green38: Introvert or extrovert? Introvert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? Sometimes40: Hugs or kisses? Yes.41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? A few people. @dontmakemekickyourass @almostthere-nevergiveup @ladyofthecampfires @imgonnathrowup @twistinyourveins 42: Who is someone you love deeply? My friends! I love alll of them!43: Any piercings you want? My ears, maybe the other side of my lip someday? Probably gonna have to get my left nipple redone T.T44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? Yeah! most of the time45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? Sadly, I used to smoke cigars. And I used to smoke weed but I honestly miss that. But it’s not legal here in Texas :/46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! SHHHHHH47: What is a sound you really hate? The lady upstairs walking around at 3:30 in the morning48: A sound you really love? storms49: Can you do a backflip? lol no50: Can you do the splits? I used to almost be able to, but no51: Favorite actor and/or actress? I don’t have one52: Favorite movie? Lord of the Rings movies53: How are you feeling right now? hungry54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? Something flamboyant! Or something! I don’t know! 55: When did you feel happiest? Its been a long time.56: Something that calms you down? Cuddles and gr9 food57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] Ye. Depression, anxiety, ADD, ADHD, and I don’t think this counts but I may or may not be some hella weak form of autistic? Idk though58: What does your URL mean? I was hella into DW and I’m always hella into Tolkien. So a Timelord in Valinor59: What three words describe you the most? Hungry, tired, kind.60: Do you believe in evolution? Ye61: What makes you unfollow a blog? Racism, posts that I find annoying over a long period of time, I once unfollowed someone for reblogging my shit all day every day for a week. My phone was just blowing up constantly. I think I actually blocked her?62: What makes you follow a blog? Depends. Food blogs with recipes that seem interesting, my aesthetic, good shitposts, I followed @dontmakemekickyourass because I thought they were cute and they’re ace like me. Now they’re my best friend63: Favorite kind of person: Good. Kind. Understanding. An asshole but not in a bad way64: Favorite animal(s): Dogs! :D and cats! and sneks! and a bunch of things!65: Name three of your favorite blogs. @dontmakemekickyourass @polyhedralprincess @ladyofthecampfires66: Favorite emoticon: I can’t do this on my computer, I’ll do it on my phone after67: Favorite meme: I don’t know68: What is your MBTI personality type? ISFJ69: What is your star sign? Libra70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? I don’t have one :(((((((((71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? Comfy ones. Jeans and a shirt that doesn’t stick to my belly72: Post a selfie or two? Nope. I haven’t showered today.73: Do you have platform shoes? Nope74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I’m trying to learn Sindarin Elvish75: Can you do a front flip? nope76: Do you like birds? Sometimes. Depends on the bird. (Not geese)77: Do you like to swim? Sometimes. It’s been a while78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Swimming, I’ve forgotten how to ice skate lol79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Donald Trump80: Something you wish did exist: Dragons81: Piercings you have? My lip and my nips82: Something you really enjoy doing: cooking!83: Favorite person to talk to: @ladyofthecampfires84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? “This is stupid”85: How many followers do you have? 21586: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? HAH maybe?87: Do your socks always match? They aren’t matching right now, but usually yes88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? Nope. I’ve never been able to.89: What are your birthstones? Opal and tourmaline90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? A FUCKING DRAGON91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? A potato flower?92: A store you hate? Hollister93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 1 and then I get heartburn immediately94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Fly95: Do you like to wear camo? NO96: Winter or summer? Winter!97: How long can you hold your breath for? Only a few seconds now98: Least favorite person? Donald Trump99: Someone you look up to: People taller than me100: A store you love? Elite Ideas Trading101: Favorite type of shoes Comfy shoes. Hiking boots maybe102: Where do you live? Texas :/103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nope104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Sapphire. Not sure why105: Do you drink milk? No106: Do you like bugs? Not usually, depends on the bug107: Do you like spiders? FUCK NO108: Something you get paranoid about? spiders in the house?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!109: Can you draw: No :(110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? “So if you’re asexual, why bother getting a sex change?” Thanks Mom.111: A question you hate being asked? “So you’re like a plant, right?”112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Not that I can remember113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Yes!114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Depends on the temperature115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: 116: Favorite cloud type: Fluffy ones!117: What color do you wish the sky was? I’ve never thought of this before118: Do you have freckles? No :/119: Favorite thing about a person: Their personality if they’re kind.120: Fruits or vegetables? Yes121: Something you want to do right now: Hike a mountain122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Sky123: Sweet or sour foods? depends on the day/food124: Bright or dim lights? In the middle125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? I’m a magical creature, so yes126: Something you hate about Tumblr: TERFs127: Something you love about Tumblr: my lovely friends128: What do you think about the least? I don’t know, I don’t think about it much129: What would you want written on your tombstone? I don’t want a tombstone, I wanna be a tree when I die130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Donald Trump131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? My love of food132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? usually133: Computer or TV? Computer134: Do you like roller coasters? nope135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? Motion sick, yeah :/ if I’m trying to read in the car136: Are your ears lobed or attached? detached137: Do you believe in karma? kinda138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? 5139: What nicknames do you have/have had? ET, El, Cash, ATM, and many more140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? I don’t recall141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? Ye142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? I try to be a good influence143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Both144: What makes you angry Hate that isn’t deserved145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1 :/146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? Girls/NB’s147: Are you androgynous? nope148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: My eyes149: Favorite thing about your personality: I’m generally kind150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. Honestly any of my friends151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? I like medieval times, but I’d just wanna visit152: Do you like BuzzFeed? I guess153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] N/A154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? Not usually155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Sometimes, if they’re okay with it156: What embarrasses you? Me157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: A great deal of things. Life158: Biggest lie you have ever told: I’m a straight, white man159: How many people are you following? 324160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 39,015 on this one, 81 on @godsilovefood and 1,017 on @elriel-starprincess so 40,113161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? None162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? 781163: Last time you cried and why: 2 Weeks ago. I was homesick and it hit me all at once164: Do you have long or short hair? Short165: Longest your hair has ever been: Shoulder length. I miss that166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion? Religion is fine, extremists aren’t167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? It’s interesting, yeah168: Do you like to wear makeup? Never have169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? Not anymore170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?  yeah

The Other Princeps, Chap 32

Title: The Other Princeps Fandom: Codex Alera Characters: Aquitainus Attis, Amara, Antillus Raucus, Ensemble Pairings: past!Attis/Invidia, slight past!Attis/Septimus, Attis/OCs Word Count: 3,145 Rating: R Summary: In which Attis’s confrontation with Invidia during the Battle of Riva goes better for him. AU. WIP. Warnings: Massive spoilers for First Lord’s Fury. Disclaimer: I do not own the Codex Alera. This is only for fun & no profit is being made from it. Previous Chapters:

1. A Close Escape | 2. Appearances | 3. Endurance | 4. New Allies | 5. The Message | 6. Night Companions | 7. A Warm Welcome | 8. The Second Wall | 9. A Brief Respite | 10. The Offer | 11. The Test | 12. Garrison | 13. Final Preparations | 14. The Assassins | 15. The End | 16. After the End | 17. Face to Face | 18. News & Negotiations | 19. Taking Stock | 20. Memorials | 21. Clearing the Air | 22. Renewal | 23. The Road to Aquitaine | 24. The Battle of Aquitaine | 25. Homecoming | 26. Camilla | 27. The Children | 28. Settling In | 29. Adjustments | 30. Discussions | 31. The Proposal

Chapter 32: Breaking the News

         We decided to share the news with my children first. Phaidros, predictably, reacted with the most enthusiasm. “So you really will be my mother now?” he asked Camilla as he wrapped his arms around her.

         “Yes, Phaidros,” she replied, patting him on the back. I supposed the idea of a man marrying his mistress wasn’t an entirely foreign idea to a boy who’d grown up in a brothel. This did occasionally happen when a patron decided to marry a girl he’d grown fond of.

         Thyra, by contrast, was shocked. “Can you… do that?” she managed to ask.

         “We’ll see what happens when I ask the First Lord for permission, but I am confident he will agree. He intends to reform the marriage laws so Citizens can marry whoever we desire.” She gaped at me with wide eyes—as a noble, she’d likely known all about the marriage laws even if her bastard status would’ve made a good match unlikely for her. Or perhaps she didn’t believe Octavian would actually make good on his promise. “I assure you, Thyra, we are completely sincere.”

         “Oh, I don’t doubt that—to be honest I’ve been practicing my metalcrafted shields more often lately largely because the feelings I get from both of you when you’re together are rather… intense,” she admitted.

         Both Camilla and I had a laugh at that. “That strong, are we?” I did have a tendency to relax my shields when around her, making my feelings obvious to anyone with watercrafting as strong as Thyra’s.

         “You must know the Citizenry will be furious about this,” Thyra continued. “They’ll think you were stringing them along, that you never took any of those marriage offers seriously.”

         “I swear I was sincerely considering them, until I came to a realization last night that is,” I assured her. “I can handle the Citizenry. It helps to not give a damn what they think.”

         Thyra smiled. “Good thing I’ve already got experience in that area.”

         Melitta greeted our announcement with similar excitement as Phaidros had. The girl still regarded me with a certain degree of awe and seemed to have a fascination with Camilla. For her part, Camilla found this endearing and did all she could to help Melitta feel at home. It was working, as she was gradually coming out of her shell. Both she and Phaidros absolutely loved their crafting lessons and went about them with an enthusiasm which reminded me of myself when I was young.

         Telling the family would be an entirely different matter from telling my children. I opted to wait for dinner before breaking the news to them. “I have an announcement to make,” I began once the meal had concluded. Silence gradually fell over the table, which now included my children—I’d by this time introduced them to the rest of the family. “We can put the question of my marriage to rest. I have chosen to marry Camilla.” More silence. They stared at me, likely trying to guess if I were joking. “This is no jest. Camilla and I are quite sincere.”

         Waves of shock hit me. Their faces were stunned, mouths agape, as they tried to process what I’d just said. Elania, predictably, was the first to recover. “Have you taken leave of your senses? You cannot possibly be serious!”

         “I am completely serious, dear Aunt. I have given the matter serious thought and I have decided that this is where my heart truly lies.” I smiled. “It was never anywhere else.”

         “Marrying your mistress, an infamous courtesan.” Elania shook her head. “The very idea is madness. You’ll cause a huge scandal!”

         “And our new First Lady is a Marat,” I retorted. “Welcome to the new Alera! If I want to marry a courtesan instead of a Citizen then by crows I’ll do it!”

         “The Citizenry will not be pleased about this, Attis,” Eolus interjected. “They’ll consider it an insult.”

         “And I can’t find it in me to give a damn what they’ll think. I can deal with them. Let them talk. If I have to meet some of them in the juris macto, so be it. They’ll have to accept it once I get the First Lord’s approval.”

         “You are certain you’ll get it?” Elania inquired.

         “Absolutely certain. He told me he means to reform the marriage laws,” I replied.

         “Well then, I suppose there will be no dissuading you,” Elania conceded, “but I do  not think this is a politically sound decision.”

         “I don’t give a damn about that,” I retorted. “My first marriage was made for political concerns and it was a disaster. Forgive me for not pursuing the same this time around.”

         “That could’ve gone worse,” Camilla remarked as we walked to my chambers after dinner was over. “I hope your aunt won’t continue to disapprove of us.”

         “She won’t. Well, at least she’ll not do anything to actively oppose us. She was virulently against me marrying Invidia, but was forced to grudgingly accept it. I think she’ll come to accept this in time,” I answered.

         “I hope you’re right. I’d rather not have the enmity of anyone in your family. The hatred of the entire Citizenry—at least the women—is quite enough,” she remarked, grasping my arm.

         “Don’t worry about the Citizenry,” I told her. “What of your family? I imagine they’ll be pleased.”

         “Oh, they’ll be elated,” she replied. “It’s the dream of every courtesan to find such stability for herself. Marrying the High Lord is nearly a dream beyond imagining, given the laws. To be perfectly honest, I never thought you and I would marry. I never expected it. I was perfectly happy to be your consort. This… is something else altogether.”

         “Well, you’ll be unsurprised to know I never thought of marrying you until last night. It never would’ve been possible under the old laws and so the thought never occurred to me. Marriage and love have been entirely separate concepts to me for years, until now that is,” I admitted. This had been my understanding for most of my life. I’d been raised with the expectation that I’d marry a member of the Citizenry for political connections and children with strong crafting abilities. With this knowledge, I also became aware that there were plenty of opportunities for love and pleasure outside of marriage. It was common practice among the Citizenry. Even my father, who loved my mother, was known to patronize courtesans from time to time. Is it any wonder, then, that it took me a bit of time to break free of such assumptions?

         “You and I are very alike in that way. I was always taught that it was doom for a courtesan to love a patron. Both my mother and aunt tried to warn me when they noticed me falling for you.” She gave my arm a brief squeeze. “Every day I’m glad they turned out to be wrong.”

         Camilla was entirely correct about how her family would react to us. Her mother and aunt were both positively ecstatic and her brother was pleased at the news. Sabina immediately wanted to hold a party to celebrate our engagement, but as the Midsummer Festival was nearly upon us there was little sense in having another party just for that. It was my plan for the Midsummer Festival to proceed as it would in any other year. The people needed a return to normalcy and the Festival was the perfect opportunity for it. “I doubt the people would tolerate going without the Midsummer Festival,” I remarked to Camilla as we made our way back to the palace.

         “Oh, no doubt there would be riots,” Camilla added. The Midsummer Festival consisted of a week of celebrations, culminatimg in an extravagant ball on the day of the summer solstice. Aquitaine was rather known for its Midsummer festivities throughout Alera and preparations would usually start months in advance. This year we would have less than a month.

         “Are you entirely up to handling the preparations, my dear?” I laid a hand on Camilla’s arm. “It’s one of the High Lady’s responsibilities. I can certainly assist you as much as I am able.”

         “Well, I suppose it’ll be a good test for me,” she replied. “Though it’s not the first ball I’ve organized, it will be my first time organizing something on this scale.”

         As soon as we arrived at the palace, Camilla immediately began the process of moving the possessions she hadn’t already brought over into her chambers. A decent portion of her possessions were gifts given by adoring patrons, including myself. It was common to offer a courtesan gifts, especially jewelry, as signs of particular favor in addition to her standard fee. “I hadn’t quite realized until today precisely how much jewelry you have,” I commented as servants carried her jewelry boxes into the palace.

         “I suppose I’ll need to get rid of much of it soon.”

         I raised an eyebrow. “Why exactly would you do that?”

         “Because I have many pieces given to me by other patrons. If I’m to be your new Lady Aquitaine, I can hardly wear them.”

         I gaped at her, honestly shocked by her response. “Why on earth do you think I would ask you to do such a thing? Do you think I consider your past something shameful that needs to be hidden?”

         “No, not exactly, but do you really want me wearing jewels given to me by other men once I’m married to you?” she inquired.

         “I couldn’t possibly care less about that! Your past is not a source of shame for me—on the contrary, I consider it a mark in your favor! Don’t forget I first heard about you from Vitellus.” I pulled her into my arms. “I don’t give a damn about what the Citizenry think is proper.”

         She grinned. “Well then, I’m glad we’re both fully committed to the scandal we’re about to cause.”

         “If we’re going to cause one inevitably, we might as well not do it by halves,” I replied. Once all of her baggage was unloaded I led her into her new chambers, which had recently been Invidia’s chambers.

         They were exactly as they’d been before Invidia disappeared. The only people to come inside had been servants cleaning. All of her possessions were still there, as I hadn’t yet seen fit to dispose of them. I led Camilla through the solar and study and into the bedchamber. It felt strange standing there with her—I’d tended to avoid Invidia’s chambers, as the thought of her living in my mother’s chambers always rankled. She tended to come to mine on those occasions when we slept together. But now I could truly purge the rooms of every trace of her. “Feel free to help yourself to anything of Invidia’s you desire. She had a large collection of jewelry herself.”

         Camilla raised an eyebrow as I drew back the drapes. “Were some of the pieces from you?”

         “Aside from those traditionally belonging to the High Lady of Aquitaine which I was obligated to give her, yes. Appearances needed to be kept up.”

         “Of course.” She set her jewelry boxes down on the vanity table and began looking through Invidia’s. “You’ve always had good taste in jewelry.”

         “Thank you.” Being in this room reminded me of how much I’d disliked the way Invidia had redecorated it when she’d moved in. She’d seen fit to replace my mother’s frescoes of garden scenes with frescoes of pillars and other architectural elements. I found them to be rather dull, though they were well-done from a technical perspective. “Now that these chambers are yours, you are welcome to redecorate them however you like,” I informed her.

         Camilla halted in her perusal of the jewelry and took a moment to view the frescoes. “I think I can come up with something better than this.”

         “Something more like your bedchamber at the villa?”

         “Precisely.”

         “That would certainly be an improvement.” We spent a decent amount of time in there as Camilla unpacked her things. This involved sorting through Invidia’s clothes in order to make room for her own. Camilla was particularly taken with the gowns made of color-changing fabric and resolved to have them altered to fit her, although Invidia was both taller and more slender than she was. While she went through the clothes, I took some time to sort out the jewelry which had been my mother’s.

         “These belonged to my mother,” I told her. “Some of them are jewels traditionally belonging to the High Lady of Aquitaine and have been in the family for generations. They’re yours now.”

         “Oh Attis, thank you,” she said softly, accepting them from my hands. “It must’ve galled you, giving them to Invidia.”

         “Yes. I would’ve given them to you some time ago if I could. Seeing Invidia wearing the jewelry was not something I wanted to deal with shortly after losing my mother,” I admitted. She’d passed away two years after my father. It had hit me particularly hard, as she’d been one of the only close confidants I had left. It was also the event which led to the first major shift in my relationship with Camilla. I’d gone to her to forget my grief and ended up sharing my feelings with her. She’d reacted with genuine sympathy and understanding beyond the affected feelings typically displayed by courtesans and whores. In that moment our relationship made its first steps from courtesan and patron to something more.

         Camilla examined the pieces, holding some of the necklaces up to her throat and looking herself over in the mirror. “What would she think of us if she were here, your mother? Would she approve?”

         “Probably not initially, though she’d likely come around eventually after seeing how happy you make me,” I replied. “She did come to realize what Invidia was and told me on her deathbed that she regretted forcing me to marry her.”

         “That would be the least she could do,” Camilla remarked, setting the necklaces back into the box. She met my eyes. “Thank you for all of this, Attis. I hope that I’ll be able to meet your expectations for a wife and High Lady. I know well what a trial your first marriage was and I want you to be happy.”

         I pulled her into my arms. “I can’t see any way that you wouldn’t. Now all we need to do is weather the coming storm when I send out the rejection letters.”

         Storm turned out to be an apt description. The rejection letters had scarcely gone out before the angry responses began pouring in. I didn’t specify who I’d chosen for my bride in them, but the word had gotten out. How could it not, now that the household knew? I proceeded to paythe angry responses little mind, which wasn’t hard given how much there was to do in preparation for the upcoming festival. By contrast, obtaining permission from Octavian was easy. He gave us his consent, but advised us to wait until he formally reformed the marriage laws.

         That evening, Camilla and I spent some time looking over the responses to my rejection letters. I noted with some amusement that she seemed to take their opposition to her as a badge of honor. “Listen to this one—‘It is a disgrace to our city that you see fit to marry your lowborn mistress,’” she read.

         “And my ‘lowborn mistress’ will be a far better wife and companion than any woman of the Citizenry,” I retorted. “That’s one who has apparently heard the rumors. I hope you are not bothered by that.”

         “Rumors? Of course not.” Camilla picked up a grape and ate it slowly. I couldn’t help but watch her intently. “There have been rumors swirling about me since before I made my debut and this one has the merit of being true.” She held a grape to my mouth; my lips brushed against her fingertips as I took it.

         “I wonder how many of them are aware of your pregnancy.” She had now reached the point where it was beginning to show, but that was easy enough to conceal if desired. My children and the rest of the family knew, and doubtless the servants did as well. But in all honestly, our engagement was a bigger scandal than her pregnancy. A High Lord getting a child on his mistress was hardly unusual. “Octavian suggested we wait a while before getting married so he can make the necessary legal changes to the marriage laws.”

         She pursed her lips, considering it. “That does make sense. I suppose, then, our child will be born before the wedding.”

         “Yes. That will be somewhat of a grey area when it comes to legitimacy. I’ll have to speak to Octavian about it.”

         “So what do you mean to do about a legitimate heir?”

         “I haven’t decided yet. Our child could be considered retroactively legitimate after we wed, or I could choose to make one of my illegitimate children my heir, as Raucus suggested. We shall have to see,” I replied.

         She ate a few more grapes. “Do you think any Citizens will decide to make a scene during the gala?”

         “I daresay some might try, and I shall have to answer them if and when they do.”

         She smiled. “It is quite a contradiction, really. The city loves its courtesans as long as they remain in their place and do not rise to become High Lady.”

         She made a good point—courtesans were celebrated, but in their proper place. “You are right about that, and I myself was no exception. But perhaps now, with you as the new High Lady of Aquitaine, that attitude will begin to change. We are in the new Alera, after all,” I replied with a grin. “In the meantime, the city will likely all but go into mourning for you, now that I’ve taken you off the market permanently.” It was true that some potential patrons had decided to stay away from the High Lord’s mistress, but it hadn’t driven them all away entirely until Camilla moved into the palace with me and stopped accepting patrons.

         “That reminds me,” Camilla began, “will you be expecting me to be completely faithful to you once we’re married?”

         “No, no, just use some discretion and make sure you don’t bear another man’s child. I’m hardly the man to lecture anyone about fidelity.”

         “That you are not.”

         “I assume you have accepted that I will not be faithful to you?”

         She threw back her head and laughed. “Of course. How could I not, when you keep three concubines here? I know you all too well, Attis—you are not a man who can be tamed or contained.”

         I drank the last of my wine and moved to kiss her. “Indeed I am not.”

i kind of want you to do all of the music asks. if you can't/don't wanna then do 1, 29, and 30

I don’t mind doing em all! (though I apologize for my dorky speech-type in advance) It might get a bit long, though. I have… So. Much. Music… (links to all songs in their titles, btw)

1:A song you like with a color in the titleI’m Blue by Eiffel 65. You cannot tell me that song is not a bop. Nobody will change my opinion. (I may also associate it with Iron Man 3 cuz of that one scene….)

2:A song you like with a number in the title21 Guns by Green Day. It’s a good one.

3:A song that reminds you of summertimeMonody by TheFatRat. I think it reminds me of summer mostly because that’s the time of year I found the song and had it as my Play-It-Till-Ya-Hate-It.

4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget aboutChasing Cars by Snow Patrol… Yeah….

5:A song that needs to be played LOUDAll of my upbeat stuff, honestly, but… ummm…. lately it’s been LA Devotee by Panic! At the Disco. It’s an awesome song and I associate with some fun af characters of mine. ;)

6:A song that makes you want to danceMe and My Broken Heart by Rixton. I… don’t even know why. I don’t normally listen to this sort of artist (they don’t really resonate with me. *shrug*), but whenever this comes on my lil feets wanna move! XD

7:A song to drive toAny song that comes up on shuffle… but… The Wolf by SAIMES. It’s a fun song and I’m in love with the music video!

8:A song about drugs or alcoholHow about both! Over here with 27 by Fall Out Boy we’ve got your drugs. And over her with Chandelier by Sia we’ve got your alcohol and general addiction! 

9:A song that makes you happyYou love me anyway by Sidewalk Prophets. It’s a nice song for so many reasons, but it makes me happy cuz it serves as a reminder when I’m having crappy days. It’s such a powerful song, especially the bridge. 

10:A song that makes you sadThis song saved my life by Simple Plan. It’s an inspiring song, but it puts me in a mood? No sad in a bad way… more moving, maybe.

11:A song that you never get tired ofDuality by Set It Off! I’m in love with this one. No matter how many times I listen to it, it’s still fresh and awesome (this may also be because I associate it with my boi Razr/Randall. But, I mean, he is a lot of other songs too)

12:A song from your preteen yearsGood Lord, you’re really making me go down this lane? Alright, um… Misery by Maroon 5 (oh 2010… I don’t miss you, even if I do miss your music)

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs18 and Life by Skid Row

14:A song that you would love played at your weddingHmmmm how sappy do I want to get today? Come What May from Moulin Rouge. It’s such a beautiful and sweet song. 

15:A song that is a cover by another artistMary, Did You Know covered by Pentatonix. They did a beautiful job with my favorite Christmas song.

16:One of your favorite classical songsMozart’s Lacrimosa. It’s a truly beautiful piece.

17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaokeIf you think I’m not gonna pull a friend into singing It’s Gonna be Me by ‘N SYNC once I get my grubby hands on a karaoke machine, then you think WRONG!

18:A song from the year that you were bornThere were many VERY popular songs from 1999, but my dad is very big on the Top 40s, and Ricky Martin’s Livin’ la Vida Loca was #1, the week I was born.

19:A song that makes you think about lifeYou know… I’m not really philosophical like that? I mean, I think the only thing that’s made me come close to any line of thinking is Who am I by Casting Crowns. Really makes ya do some thunks.

20:A song that has many meanings to youHoooooo boi! What song doesn’t have multiple meanings to me?? Yeesh, um… Volatile Times by IAMX. It makes me think about multiple characters for different reasons, as well as just… I don’t know, has this vibe about it that really inspires me to write? If that makes any sense… (also, please forgive the linked video. It was the only one I could find with the correct version of the song [let it be known, I still do enjoy that fandom, even if I don’t understand shit])

21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the titleIt’s a tossup between Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond and Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin (I know, talk about 180 XD).

22:A song that moves you forwardI have no idea what this even means? Like, inspires me to keep going?… I don’t know if I have one, but I suppose Who You Are by Paradise Fears is good.

23:A song that you think everybody should listen toReaper Man by Mother Mother. No specific reason other than, people may not realize this is a band that exists, and that is a CRIME. Also cuz the song is amaze-balls (I got everyone in the fam to like it, and that is no easy feat)

25:A song by an artist no longer livingIf you don’t know what I’m gonna say based on my music taste so far, I’ll be disappointed, honestly: In the End by Linkin Park (RIP Chester)

26:A song that makes you want to fall in loveIf these sheets were the states by All Time Low! 

27:A song that breaks your heartTil it happens to you by Lady Gaga. Nuff said. 

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you loveHuman by Of Monsters and Men. Their voices just… blend so perfectly. Gosh.

29:A song that you remember from your childhoodHonestly, the first thing that popped into my mind was Pretty Fly for a White Guy by The Offspring. I remember dancing around in front of the TV while my parents laughed over how much I loved the song. Listening to it now, yeah, I can see why. 

30:A song that reminds you of yourselfLoaded question there. Um. I guess These Times by Safetysuit. I’m a work in progress.Well, there we are. All 30. I hope it was everything you imagined it would be. Lmao! Thanks for askin’ and listening to my rambles about music!

Stages of a Breakup: Week 40

1. Do laundry for the third time since moving

2. Feel indebted to your grandmother for keeping jars of quarters everywhere

3. Spend too much money on Chinese food

4. Gym

5. Go to an acquaintances Queer Film Theory show in the bar of a movie theatre in a shopping mall where people offer queer readings of straight media

6. The entries included: Dragon Ball-Z, Pitch Perfect 1, Motocrossed and Lord of the Rings

7. Have fun but feel weird afterwards when you try to say congratulations to the host, he seems uncomfortable to talk to you and like he thinks you want something from him?? But you don’t you just thought the show would be cool and it was

8. Leave feeling weird

9. Go to a show in the rain

10. Go first, have an ok set

11. The host got realy drunk and gives you another drink ticket because you ask for it

12. Spend too much money on beer

13. Hang out with another comic on the show who did a screen test for SNL this year but didn’t get it

14. He is very funny though

15. Flirt with him? Who can tell what’s going on really

16. He decides to leave pretty suddenly, you guys walk to the train station which is closed

17. Find the bus

18. Get on it immedietly, leave him in the street

19. It’s not even the right bus so you have to get off and change later

20. Something is wrong, a lot of subway stations are closed, it takes a while to get home

21. Work

22. Rush to your first training for your axe throwing job

23. You get there really late, everything is basically done

24. Feel terrible

25. See the guy who was rude to you

26. He tries to talk to you

27. You say hi and mostly ignore him

28. Ask your friend if he’s doing anything after

29. He’s going to a show in Manhattan

30. Go with him

31. Realize you know one of the producers

32. Watch the show

33. Say bye at the end

34. Introduce yourself to one of the other comic’s on the show, you were on a show with her earlier in the month

35. She offers to split an Uber back to Crown Heights with you

36. You do

37. They can’t drop you off at your house so she’s going to buy you another one home

38. Go up to her apartment while she’s doing that

39. End up talking and hanging out for a while

40. Meet her roommate who is a dominatrix

41. Hear many stories and even see some videos of the men who come to see her

42. Smoke weed

43. Eat a bagel with cream cheese

44. Watch an episode of Big Mouth

45. Hear so many cool stories of her close personal comedian friends, including Dave Chappelle

46. Freak out a little

47. Understand a The Color Purple reference

48. Leave at 4:30am happy and tired

49. Go home

50. Sleep

51. Work

52. Rush to your other job for ‘friends and family’ night

53. Only like 4 of your friends come out of like 20 you invited

54. That ends up being more manageable and better

55. Successfully show them how to throw axes

56. Get two tips

57. Clean up

58. Go out after with your friend Charlie

59. Go to an expensive-ish bar that is closing

60. Go to a way better dive bar that is not closing

61. Eat a million trays of free popcorn

62. Drink 3-4 beers

63. Go home

64. Babysit a child

65. Have a weird power struggle over opening the mail

66. Get 110 dollars and some free cookies

67. Get an amazing email saying you don’t need to escort in Jamaica Plains at 7:00 in the morning the next day because it’s gonna snow

68. Go to a comedian holiday party thrown by the woman you had a really weird encounter with

69. Drink a million beer/shot combos

70. Be in some photobooths

71. Obnoxiously remind the DJ he hasn’t played a single Kanye song since you got here 2 hours ago

72. Dance

73. Try to fix your hair in the unisex bathroom that is just a bunch of stalls and a trough with a mirror over it

74. Feel disgusting

75. Take off your turtleneck underneath your dress because even though there’s snow outside, it’s 1 million degrees in here

76. Run into a lot of people

77. Feel unsettled

78. Go to another bar after, this comic you have a crush on comes

79. Throw up in the bathroom

80. Make out with a different guy in front of him then fall asleep on that guy’s lap

81. Your friend Molly buys you an Uber home

82. Throw up again when you get there

83. Feel TERRIBLE

84. Pass out

85. Lose the entire next day to shame and a stomachache

86. Feel weird that you kissed your kind of friend

87. Stay inside all day

88. Go to a show called “Strangers” where the host has never met anyone on the show

89. Have a very awkward conversation with a comic who turned out to not be funny that was like pulling teeth

90. See some people who were funny

91. Have a set that wasn’t as good as you wanted, feel bad

92. Hang out after and meet people/talk about sexual assault

93. Drink nothing

94. Go home