sojiro is absolutely one of the best characters and he knows it

Hii it's me, the anon who wants to eat your writings as desserts!

I've been thinking about something, specifically about Fragile!Reader. (Sorry if the bad English is bad)

During Dottore and Nahida's meeting, I like to imagine Nahida take a look inside Dottore's mind when he erased his segment. At first, she expected to see the horror and the unsettling mind of a mad doctor, a mind with nothing but ambition and insanity. How surprised she was when she saw you occupying most of the doctor's mind. How surprised Nahida would be to see that Dottore is capable of loving someone, especially someone so fragile as you are.

She probably commented on something about you and your relationship with the doctor to which the doctor almost instantly tried to change the topic with a lingering threat.

After everything that she saw, I wonder if Nahida would remember and keep the story about the Mad Doctor and his fragile beloved as a fairy tale. In my opinion, she would. And if she does, I wonder how she'll portray Fragile!Reader.

Ok that's it, my thoughts about Fragile!reader. Also can I be Dessert Anon? ><

YES!! I LIVE FOR DOTTORE AND READER VS NAHIDA INTERACTIONS!!

Nahida doesn't think she will ever understand the mind of the Outcast, nor she will ever agree with the way he works or thinks. He has long succumbed to the mind of a pure scientist, disregarding the value of human life if it will allow him to progress in his research. So, when the young God looks into the Harbinger's mind, she expects to see nothing different from that. But, even the God of Wisdom can be proven wrong, is something Nahida has come to understand, for although the Doctor's mind is certainly mad, he is also mad for you. That is certainly something she did not expect. She didn't even know you were still alive. So he's managed to prolong your life as well? But judging from what she's seen, you're still quite ill. Hm... the Dendro God is a mixture of surprise and intrigued. The Doctor is one who isn't above abandoning his experiments when they get boring or seem fruitless. And your case certainly seems hopeless, with no progress to be seen but... he still seems to be completely obsessed with you. It's strange, and a part of her understands and doesn't understand at the same time. Nahida knows that love can truly change people. But is the Doctor really one that could be changed? She finds it a bit hard to believe, but the evidence is right in front of her.

Of course, her curiosity cannot be contained and she has to inquire about you, to which Dottore blatantly disregards. He's not going to speak about you to almost anyone, much less a God. ("I didn't think the God of Wisdom would be so nosy about my private affairs.")

I imagine obviously she doesn't particularly like or approve of you, but Nahida still can't help but feel pity for you, with your illness and all. But she would still like to have a conversation with you. She would want to discover how you managed to have the Outcast wrapped around your finger... she would want to know your story... that is if you're willing to speak with her.

My eternal biggest struggles in FFXIV--and really in any game, but it matters way more when you're playing with other people--are visual perception and by extension reaction time. I have figured out just from talking to other people about how they perceive things that I simply do not process visual information as quickly or comprehensively as some people do. If I am focusing on one part of the screen I am not seeing what's happening in the other corner. When I'm looking at the party list I am not seeing my hotbar. When I'm looking at my hotbar I am not seeing the boss's cast bar. And so forth. The ability that most people seem to have to just absorb all or most of the information on their screen just by looking? I don't have that. I have to constantly, consciously be scanning all the places where I know there's important information. It is not automatic.

Which means that unless I know to look for a specific tell--like a specific cast or a symbol over my character's head--there is a good chance I just will not see it. I hesitate to even explain this to people because it sounds like I'm making excuses or not paying attention when I say "I just didn't see it." But it doesn't matter how much I'm paying attention if I don't know what I'm looking for. I will not process it, which is functionally the same as not seeing it.

And I can learn, is the thing. I know to watch for Ancient Flare in Labyrinth of the Ancients. I know that in Shadowbringers onward, where you'll get strings of really unforgiving, rapid-fire AOEs, that it's better to focus on getting myself to safety and sacrifice a heal or two and then do damage control when they let up, than to miss an AOE because I was trying to heal, and die and force another player to interrupt their rotation to rez me. It just takes practice, and there are things I won't get on the first run, no matter how hard I try.

I do care about playing my job well. I watch guides. I practice. I do my best to learn, because I love the game and it's satisfying to play well, especially as a healer--I want to be the kind of healer that when I'm in the party, you know I've got you, that if you mess up I'll catch you, and it'll be fine. Playing a support role well is very, very satisfying and rewarding to me! And so none of the above means I'm not going to do my best, or that I'm not trying to be better.

I don't get better from people yelling at me or calling me stupid. I get flustered, I lose my flow, I blank out on things that actually are obvious. I get worse.

And the all-or-nothing attitudes from that small but real subset of veteran players is just utterly discouraging. "Either you're playing your job correctly or you're sabotaging." "There are no non-obvious mechanics in regular duties." It reads to me as "Be perfect on the first try or go fuck yourself." That is a standard I will literally never be able to meet. And I'm not saying "poor me," that's not my point. Somehow I doubt that it's a standard the majority of players are able to meet--based on my own experiences playing with sprouts in many, many roulettes.

Everyone has to start somewhere. Everyone learns differently, perceives differently, no matter how rigid the rotation of their job, no matter how "obvious" the mechanics. And for someone else who's struggling I would much rather be the person who gave them a better experience in the game than the person who gave them a shittier one. I don't want to be the person who makes someone quit trying to learn tanking for six months (as someone did to me). If you need to vent about how someone sucks, fine, do it in private. And even then, you know, maybe consider how you talk about it and to whom. Are your comments going to be the reason someone in your linkshell is terrified of learning a new role? Or the reason they're excited to try?

Personally I would rather come out of a duty with a party that struggled a bit but pressed on being kind and helping and encouraging one another and celebrated victory together, than leave someone never wanting to play again.

love the notes I leave myself, but girl. What

Rewatching the goat scene from yesterday because I wanted to clip Donny-boy and. I somehow missed that in the initial cacophany right after the murder while Chetney is beginning to saw apart Jerry and Deanna is shearing and Imogen is full on sceaming and sobbing "what the fuck!!!", Deanna, hands presumably bloody*, looks up and cheerfully goes "This can't be the worst thing you've seen! Your dreams are bad!"

*From Chetney's uh, disassembly, let the record show that shearing doesnt generally draw blood, afaik. .........And Chet's butcher bib is probably not helping.

The heat was increasing with each, passing day. It was getting disruptive. He felt as if his body was burning up from the inside out. His skin felt as fire, his breath scorching.

It was starting to hurt. His skin was so sensitive that the clothes on his back was starting to be a bother.

He knew what he needed. He knew what he should do.

Ah, but it was never an easy task for him.

Slowly, he'd reach up to unhook his bowtie, exhaling a shaky breath.

"Merde.."

You know, I think it's interesting that L claims that Light is his first friend. Like, what was that line for? Ohba said that it was a lie, yes, and I believe that to an extent—but also who was the lie for? L had to know at that point that Light was cruel and intelligent, meaning that even if he didn't figure it for a lie, it wouldn't soften him up either. Kira doesn't feel sentiment for anyone other than family.

But, even if that statement of Light being L's first friend wasn't a lie, I still think it's an interesting choice thematically.

Because even if Light is L's first friend, L isn't Light's.

Ryuk is.

I don't know, I just—there's something about the theme of friendship that connects intrinsically to that moment, that panel that encompasses all three of them, and I'm not sure if it was intentional or not.

Because Ryuk, and L and Light's friendship are pretty directly linked.

Before Light loses his memories, he has Ryuk. Ryuk, the first being he's ever been completely honest with, someone that follows him around all the time and plays around with him and doesn't expect much from him while also not patronizing him. Even if Light had been cripplingly lonely when the series started (which I believe he very much was), he wasn't alone anymore when he met L.

But L was. L has no one but Watari, and even then I'm not sure you could call their relationship friendly.

(Not that I would call Ryuk and Light traditional friends either...)

BUT! But, but, but, this is important—when Light loses his memory of the Death Note, he also loses Ryuk. He has no memory of him. Which means that whatever loneliness he'd been wrangling before the Death Note dropped comes rushing back in, taking up all the empty space again. It makes him more susceptible to L's "You Want To Be My Friend So Bad You Wanna Tell Me You're Kira So Bad" agenda, which is,,,,hilarious to me.

Because not only does Light fall for it; so does L. He falls for his own damn interrogation plot. Congrats idiot, you have a real friend now and both of you are going to regret it.

And this new line of friendship/camaraderie/understanding/affection doesn't go away even when Light's memories come back. It doesn't just vanish when he gets his hands on the notebook, and we know it doesn't, because he goes to get L when he's on the roof. He's cruel again but it's gentler than Pre-Confinement Kira's cruelty. And yeah, you could blame that on Light knowing L was going to die, but also—Light caught him when he fell. He made sure that he was standing close enough to catch L and hold him as he died. He could've just let him fall to the floor and die on the tile, cold and alone.

Light's fondness/friendship/affection/love (whatever you wanna call it) for L doesn't just up and vanish as soon as he's Kira again.

But it does when Ryuk comes back.

I don't know if it was intentional, but it's like Light's ties to Ryuk and L cannot exist at the same time. They can't exist in the same place. Light's first friend never gets to meet his last one.

I don't really have a point here. I just thought it was interesting 🖤

*long sigh*

Dearest, for as splendorous and immeasurable the pleasures of our time spent entwined in the weave…I wish to have you as you are. We are flesh and heat and sweat and I desire for every part of it. I want for every part of you. When we seek each other again I covet to give back to you, as best I can, as much as you’ve given to me. Sooner than later, I hope.

—A

Day 487 : Furniture from the aprils fool event !

"Hurrying up without thinking is bad you know ?

Uwaa I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention..."

the idea that they’re writing the season as they go so they’re seeing the reaction the audience has and that it (even in the smallest way possible) could have an impact on what happens this season (and in future seasons) is so wild to me. not saying that they’re seeing our response and saying “oh that sounds good, totally writing that in,” but it’s not impossible to say that they will see what the people want, realize the best way to generate buzz and excitement and increased viewership is to keep your fans happy, and then actually do something about it instead of killing characters/storylines just for kicks

911 has the opportunity to be that bitch even more than it already is and they shouldn’t squander it while they’re on top

luffy with a reindeer, a cyborg and a skeleton in his crew seeing bepo for the first time and going "why is there a bear here" and "is the bear a pirate too?" is still extremely iconic btw

there’s something wildly satisfying abt reblogging a post with a small amt of notes and then seeing ppl give that post notes from your reblog. like. number go up yippeekiyay yeehaw but also. community! this is what tumblr is for!! sharing posts! interaction! yippee!!!

So excited that having almost 1000 followers means I get notes on my fics…

Fractures, Chapter Thirty-Seven: Piandao Interlude II

'A lesson in defining, and one in redefining, as well.'

- - -

I know, I know, it took a while. In my defense, a lot of shit happened. Whatever. This thing is 19.2k words, and is the last interlude of Book 1, so I hope you enjoy! Also, this means we'll be doing another interlude poll soon, so be prepared for that with either chapter 38 or 39, I'm sure.

The notes include a vague explanation as to my whereabouts, and then me rambling for a hot sec about the way Caldera works in this story.

Either way, I hope you enjoy!

Tagged by @kittlyns (back in march lol) to share my lock screen, last song played, and last picture saved

it didnt specify how many people to tag so im going to tag 10 people bc kittlyn tagged me on my blog's 10th anniversary: @girlwwx @rudiecantfail @yokoyas @glitteratti @booksnbarricades @sonyachni @ettelwenailinon @smiliestboye @sisyphuslnabyss and @hopefulqueer