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saltygilmores · 9 months

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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 18: Back In The Saddle. Part Six

Part 1 Part 2 Part 2½ Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Really thought this was just gonna be a cute filler episode I could whack off (lol) in like 2 or 3 parts but somehow we're on part 6? My longest review EVER both in number of parts and also in words? (A Tisket A Tasket may have gone on for 10 parts had Lorelai not made me rage quit).

How the hell did we get here? Oh.

Mark my words. I will hunt you both for sport. The only saving grace here is that our favorite pornographic film, Insatiable Cougar Does Her Daughter's Boyfriend, will mercifully cum to an end in about 1 minute and the remainder of the episode will return to pointless filler once more. I just realized there is no Jess in this episode, at all. Not even a counter-wiping scene stuck on at the end. BOO. Dean is confused by this concept of giving Rory "personal space" so Lorelai, of all people, is going to try to explain it to him like he's 5. No, literally, he does not know what "Space" means. Behold!

Absolutely breathtaking. The audacity of Lorelai Gilmore to gently tell Dean that Rory needs "just a little bit of space" after his behavior in this episode that fits the legal definitions of stalking and harrasment (I looked them up, lol). Where does she find it?

Did your parents spoon feed you lead paint chips as a child? How can one person be this fucking dumb? How have your remaining brain cells not yeeted themselves out of your head already?

"I... don't understand."

Rory Gilmore, you are in grave danger. Your mother is so blinded by her DeanLust she is throwing you to the lions (again).

Never ever, Dean. She's going to give you a sloppy beej when this talk is over. L (flirtily): If I was trying to get rid of you, I'd start telling you stories about my family! Har har har! You're soooo funny, Lorelai Gilmore!

L: I'm not telling you this to try to get rid of you, but to help things between you guys. Just try it! Ms. Gilmore, please explain to the court where Rory asked for your help. Just try not be doing a scary douchecanoe for one hour, Dean. I know that seems like a Herculean task, my man. But just try it.

"Wash my car"-stick your dick in my mouth"

What sexual favor is "a soda” code for, as she's asked him twice already (he keeps sounding reluctant to accept, so I am to assume it’s some freaky thing that only comes with the experience of a much older woman, and he’s nervous about his first time).

Whew. That had to be the most overwhelming sexual tension I've had the misfortune of witnessing thus far on my Gilmore Girls hell-journey. I'm scarred. It's going to be imposible to remove from my psyche, stuck there like chewed gum, or like Jess Mariano's sidewalk drawings. And I thought nothing could ever eclipse these levels of sexual tension:

Or one of the many instances of this

No, this one beats em all by a mile. The big difference being that the other scenes make me want to throw up my hands and rejoice, while this scene made me want to throw up my intestines.

ARE YOU DONE?!

The remainder of the episode contains the conclusion of the z plot involving MIchel's mother which I've barely paid attention to.

Michel is mad at Lorelai because she overstepped her boundaries once more, so that's good. Let the hatred flow my man! I need to recruit as many soldiers as possible for my Anti Lorelai Gilmore army. Take your anger a step further and report her to the labor board in Connecticut for her undoubtedly shaky bookkeeping, close down the whole operation, send her out to the streets and Rory into a nice foster home, and you can find a nice job at a real hotel. Am I thinking too far ahead again?

"The lunchbox of the new Millenium." or the RX 2002 First Aid Kit? Which lame-o creation which would only excite the most lifeless of Teens will emerge victorious?

Now here's some sexual tension I don't mind. Thank god. I needed relief.

And another sucky competitor throws its hat in the ring!

Spoiler alert: they are not it.

The part where he finishes these sentences with "including yours" must have gotten left on the editing room floor.

Just another reminder that Madelyn over there in the background invented the smart speaker, and Rory said her smart speaker couldn't be made because no one at Chilton knew how to build a robot, but there's a sign behind her for an invention called "The robotic dissector", whatever the hell that is. They should have had those dudes on their team, because every single person on the RX 2002 development team was completely dead weight except for Paris.

I totally forgot about this other male douchecanoe. WTF is a "hose hook"? And a locker refrigerator? WHAT? I thought these were supposed to be practical inventions? Why is every invention so god damn terrible? How can Douchecanoe Charleston possibly choose a winner? I can never un-know Charleston as Doug Heffernan's dad on one of my favorite shows, King Of Queens, where he had a completely different accent and not the quasi-British thing he's got going on.

The Locker Alarm wins. Grown Adult Man Richard Gilmore take this loss of a high school invention fair, one his granddaughter contributed nothing to, quite personal. In a tired sequence of events that we have already seen unfold many times before and one which will unfold to the extreme in the next episode, something unfortunate but hardly life altering happens to Rory that she takes in total stride while the adults in her life invalidate her feelings and lose their shit on her behalf anyway. If you guessed “Richard is having a coronary over Rory's loss at a silly school business fair and Rory could not care less”, come on down and collect your prize.

R: You've all put in an extrodinary amount of time, effort, and thought into this. Rory's entire contribution to the project was "This is amazing. I want one of these." Richard is not having it and he is taking it up with DCC. I get the sense this is not actually about Rory at all and is really some kind of Old Man Vs. Old Man Personal Beef about stocks and bonds or golf or something.

In what should come as a surprise to no one, I was right about something again 😁 turns out Richard was bored with retirement or something, so his solution was to take out his frustration on Douche Canoe Charleston because he knew him from Old Man Business Land, and he was jealous DCC had a job? And he didn’t care if he humiliated Rory in the process. I have no more room for screen shots and I refuse to make this a seven parter so you're going to have to use your imagination for the last 8 minutes, kay? Rory expresses to Richard that she's okay with the loss and she does not want Richard to bring this up to the principal but he doesn't listen to her. He says she was robbed and he is not going to sit back and let it go! ARGH!! My poor girl!!! Richard complains to the Manager while Rory has to sit back and watch and while wishing Lorelai would just dump her off with some strange relative like Liz did to Jess so she didn't have to be part of this awful family. Richard to DCC: Out there in the real world, there is no way a locker alarm would be a viable business investment! It's a school that should be training children for the real world! Oh, right, a locker alarm is useless, but a lunchbox full of band aids isn't. The only ground Richard has to stand on here is that if the best minds in this expensive school can't create anything better than a "hose hook" and a "locker refrigerator" then indeed, their educators are clearly failing them. If Richard and Emily had raised Rory instead of Lorelai, you know Richard would have been picking a fight with Rory's kindergarten teacher if she came in second place in the class spelling bee. Richard: I DEMAND A RECOUNT! DCC: Richard, this is not the real world, this is just school. This is so embarrassing. Rory should go on and pull the fire alarms and evacuate the school just to put an end to this humiliation. I feel like every time I have stated "I got no problems with Richard" at the beginning of an episode I've been so, so wrong. I'll stop doing that from now on. At Friday night dinner, Richard is sulking in his room like a baby over his granddaughter's loss at a high school inventors fair, and Lorelai GIlmore, of all people, suggests to Emily he should go to therapy, because "there's nothing wrong with getting help". Does Lorelai ever listen to herself? Where does she keep finding the nerve to advise other people to do things that she refuses to do herself? Clean up your own house first, woman. Emily of course responds that therapy is only for deviants, people with multiple personalties, and disturbed people who lick parking meters and think their dogs can talk. And so another week goes by where all four Gilmores push their numerous emotional traumas deep, deep down inside once more where they can continue to bubble and fester. Things aren't looking too good for little Chaz Gilmore, Rory's son, to break the cycle. (I've decided Rory has a boy just to throw the whole darn Gilmore Woman dynamic off its axis and give things a little pizzazz). (but what would Rory name a boy? Please do not say "Jess Jr." ) After hours of sulking, Richard emerges from his room chipper as a daisy asking for dinner, confusing us all. We come to find out that due to Rory's non-contribution to the invention of a Lunchbox full of Band Aids, Richard has been inspired to come out of retirement. That makes a whole lot of sense. Rory recieves a page from Dean on the way home from FND and Lorelai is pleased as fucking fruit punch to learn that her sloppy but satisfying sexual services earlier in the kitchen were enough to convince Dean to reduce his harassment down to one page per two days. Rory states he hasn't "Called or mysteriously appeared next to me" in two days! Lorelai is pleased that he's "calming down"! The bar is so low! Rory is relieved to get some breathing room from Dean, so to celebrate, Lorelai encourages Rory to call him anyway, then when Rory says no Lorelai asks if she’s super duper sure that she doesn’t want to call Dean.

You can keep your corny little froo froo sitcoms where people learn valuable life lessons at the end of every episode. No one ever learns anything or betters themselves on Gilmore Girls and that’s the way we like it.

Lorelai arrives home, late at night, after dropping Rory off at Lane's house (weird turn of events, but OK, I'm sure this is going to be some kind of set up for Teach Me Tonight) to find Dean sitting on her porch, sulking. Despite the fact that this is the second time in one day that he has shown up at her house to wait for Rory completely unannounced, Lorelai does not find his repeat behavior the least bit concerning. Little baby is pouting and trespassing on private property because he really struggled and put his four brain cells to work to come to a conclusion: his repeated harrassment towards Rory, for some strange reason, isn't endearing her to him, so she may just prefer the company of Jess instead of a DoucheCanoe Wtihout A Paddle. Lorelai merely sticks out her lower lip, gives him some puppy dog eyes, and pities this poor dumb creature who she has an unbearable, aching sexual attraction to. Then he walks off into the night, hopefully over a steep embankment into a pit of alligators. Goodnight.

#gilmore girls #DALA #Dean and Lorelai Affair #Puke City #rory gilmore #paris geller #Denise Rewatches Gilmore Girls #GIlmore Girls Season 2 #Back In The Saddle #tumblr im begging you #please give more more picture allotment #30 is not enough for my insane ramblings #even 35 would help #there was no fucking way I was making this a 7 parter #The DALA is cramping my style

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bunnys-beetlejuice-blog · 6 months

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🎁

“Anything with a pulse and a lot of people without a pulse,” Beej confirms. The room is quiet. “He means ghosts,” Lydia says. “Not dirty grave robbing.” “Oh, yeah, I have not defiled a corpse. YET.”

#answered asks #here's office being horrible as always

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obsessive-ego · 2 years

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"Please lyds, I don't DO that sappy stuff" the ghost sneers

"I don't know beej, remember last week?"

...

"I didn't know you had 2 cats!" you say excitingly as you notice a rather fat and rough looking black and white striped cat laying on the couch, you've met Percy, a scrawny black cat who was always too nervous to stay in reach, but you've never seen this one

"Two cats...?" Delia asks, though you were the only other person in the room

You make your way over to the unfamiliar cat in a calm manner, not wanting to frighten the poor thing before you had the chance to pet it.

You LOVED cats, hell you were the type to have cat treats in your bag just incase you met a cat while you were out and about.

Carefully sitting on the couch next to the cat you could barely contain your excitement, the feline seemed pretty calm, not really caring as you joined him on the couch, he didn't even acknowledge you

You gently run a hand down hose back, the fur felt a tad greasy, which you kind of expected, assuming with his rough appearance, this cat was probably old with one foot in the grave, at the time you had jo idea how right you were.

After a few strokes the cat gets up from his spot and plops back down on you lap

"Aren't you a friendly guy♡" You coo scratching under the cat's chin "you're such a sweet little man♡" You continue with scratches behind his ears all while praising the cat for his friendly behavior

"You're alittle rough around the edges, but you're very handsome and sweet♡" you praise as the cat headbutts into your touch

"You're not so bad yourself toots♡"

You pause and glance around the room, it was just you and the cat, Delia had left, and to your knowledge it was just the two of you here right now, you glance at your phone, maybe you're hearing things

Just then the black and white striped cat leaps from your lap and makes his get away, you should probably take off too, getting up from the couch you dust your legs off in an attempt to remove the cat hair, grabbing your bag to head for the door, you should have asked Delia what the cat's name was, maybe next time, you shout a quick goodbye and make your exit

With you now gone from the house and Delia out of sight Beetlejuice shifts back to his old rotten self and chuckles, so what if lyds won't introduce him to you properly, he can still get chummy without you knowing, for now at least

"Sweet little man?"

Beetlejuice shrieks nearly jumps out of his skin

"LYDS!" He turns to see the goth teen behind him "welcome home, you just get back from school?" He laughs nervously trying to sway the conversation and avoid a lecture

Lydia says nothing in response

"How much did you see?" He groans

"Enough to want to vomit"

#beetlejuice x reader #rambling #toonjuice x reader #just being silly

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hoodoo12 · 1 year

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Beetlejuice Squared (2/5)

Brightjuice/f!reader/Blumjuice. Smoking, anger, possessiveness, propositions. Part 1

“What the fuck?!” the Beetlejuice you were leaning against exclaimed, sitting up abruptly, half-dislodging you from his side.

You fumbled the joint so you didn’t drop it as you were jostled. “Hey! Watch it, Beej!”

The new Beetlejuice threw his gaze around the room with narrowed eyes and dramatically waved his hand in front of his face. “Jesus christ,” he coughed. “What’s with all the weed?”

His eyes landed on you. “Oh, hello.”

“Hi!” you replied.

Whatever was happening, Beetlejuice’s dope smoothed out all the edges. You pushed yourself off the specter you were leaning on, shoved the still lit joint back into his hand, ignored his protest and his other hand that tried to keep a grip on your shirt, and got off the couch. You took a step towards the newcomer. “Who’re you?”

“I’m the ghost with the most, babydoll,” he replied. It was such a cliché you rolled your eyes, but you also couldn’t help but smile.

This was Beetlejuice, but not quite Beetlejuice. Although dressed in the striped suit you’d come to expect and with the same swept up rat’s nest of hair and scruff on his face, he was taller–much taller!–than the Beetlejuice you’d spent the evening with so far. Made bold by the smoke you had partaken in, you looked him over thoroughly, taking his hand (and finding his nails were solid black); straining on unsteady tip-toes to peer into his face (discovering his eyes were darker amber than the other Beetlejuice’s and his teeth were slightly less sharp).

He seemed as curious about you as you did him, and permitted the inspection with an air of amusement. You kept a hand on him, dragging your fingers lightly over him as you walked in a circle to look at his back. He watched you the entire time with a slight smile on his face, his head rotating completely around to keep track of you.

When you were where you started in front of him again, you left your hand on his chest and said, “Beej–”

“What?” they both answered together.

The new arrival didn’t have the same voice. It was less gravely. Less rough. You liked it. You stared up into his eyes and didn’t turn back to the Beetlejuice on the couch as you continued.

“–is this one of your clones?”

The reaction to the question was immediate, from both of them. Once again they spoke at the same time, over one another. “The fuck, babe?” the Beetlejuice on the couch spit. “How could you even think that guy was my clones–” “A clone?” the Beetlejuice in front of you said, offended. “You’ve got your hand on me, do I feel like a fucking clone–”

They both finished at the same time, “–that’s fucking ridiculous!”

The combination of a bottom-of-the-lungs rasp and a smooth voice merging together gave you a shiver.

“No,” you ceded, still looking up at the specter you were next to, “I guess you’re not a clone.”

The new Beetlejuice gave you a wider smile and reached forward to take your waist. His voice dropped a little, like he was talking only loud enough for you to hear. “That’s right, babydoll. Thanks for the invite. So tell me, what’s your pleasure?”

There was a literal growl from Beetlejuice on the couch, and in the next instant, you were yanked away from the other, wrapped up in a tight, protective hug from behind. From over your shoulder, Beetlejuice hissed,

“Back off, asshole!”

The new Beetlejuice held his hands up a moment. “Hey, dick. She called me. Breathers don’t do that unless they want something, and from the state of things here, I think I can guess what that might be.”

Beetlejuice held you against his bare chest tightly and another warning growl slipped past your ear.

Taller Beetlejuice looked over the two of you. “Babydoll, you called my name three times and here I am. For you. What can I do for you? Probably more than he can …”

“Hey–” you objected in Beetlejuice’s defense, and the other snorted a laugh.

“He’s gotta use the Netherworld’s primo weed to get you going? That doesn’t seem like a demon who can make things happen without a little outside assistance.”

You felt a little surge of protection for the Beetlejuice you knew best. “The weed was later, after we’d made out. I don’t need it to get hot and bothered, it’s just a bonus.”

The Beetlejuice holding you chuckled. He spun you, unprotesting, on your heel, to face him.

“That’s sweet, babe,” he told you, and lifted the joint held between his first two fingers to his mouth again.

He took a drag and held it in, then tilted his head and lifted his eyebrows at you. Reading his intention, you tilted your head too. With your hands flat on his chest, you stretched towards him until your parted lips were only millimeters away. Beetlejuice breathed a column of smoke directly into your mouth.

You got most of it too, before you smiled and tendrils of the thick smoke escaped. You held it in for a long moment, practically feeling the smoke permeate through your lungs, letting it settle heavily throughout your body all the way down to your fingertips and toes. Finally you let the remainder of it out, smiling languidly at Beetlejuice. Shotgun smoking with him always made you feel warm and mellow. Maybe the smoke picked up something in his lungs that transfered to you? You didn’t know, but it made you feel good.

Your smile was slow and there was a tingle in your extremities and in your groin. You didn’t step away, and pressed a sloppy kiss to his lower lip. Beetlejuice caught you around the waist with one arm as he raised the joint and brought it to his mouth again. You caught him staring directly at the other specter with a smug air and open challenge on his face.

Taller Beetlejuice scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Still doesn’t change the fact she called me.”

“She called me first, asshole!” Beetlejuice said with his arm still around you.

“And then she obviously decided to call someone better!”

The affects of the weed kept you slowed down for a moment, so you didn’t object when Beetlejuice released you and took a step between you and the second Beetlejuice you’d managed to summon into your living room. Still, you said, “Hey. Beej? Beejes? Beeji? Bees?” Trying to determine the plural of the word struck you as funny, and you cut yourself off with giggling.

“It was a fucking mistake. You’re a fucking second string, honorary mention, cheap knock-off of me–”

“Someone’s got their panties in a twist. Feeling threatened ‘cause you know she’d choose me over you? Chicks like tall guys,” the newer arrival stated dismissively before he addressed you again. “Come on, babydoll, you wanna have some fun with someone who doesn’t need chemical enhancement to show you a good time?”

Beetlejuice responded to that with a snarl, while the other turned back on him with a comment on how he probably couldn’t even get it up at this point.

It slowly dawned in your fuzzy brain that there were two Beetlejuices slowly circling each other like two alpha predators looking for an opportunity to attack. Both of them had red shot through their hair, and there was a faint crackling in the air, like right before a lightening strike.

That cleared your head pretty quickly. The last thing you needed was your house torn apart in some spectral, demonic, dick-measuring contest. Especially when all you’d really wanted to do tonight was get laid.

“Hey,” you said.

They ignored you, focused so tightly on each other.

You cleared your throat and tried again, more loudly. “Hey! Beetlejuice! Bhetlejuz!”

Their full names caught their attention. They both turned to you.

“I called you both here,” you exclaimed boldly, “so that means I get to choose what I want!”

Both Beetlejuices turned to you with dangerously dark expressions, staring at you from beneath their brows, like they both suddenly remembered you were in the room, standing before them scantily clad and looking like prey.

You pushed on. “So I choose both of you. Either you’re in, or you’re out. I’m happy to send either of you away if you can’t play nicely.”

It was a gamble; calling Beetlejuice up gave him power and you truly didn’t have much control over him. Still, you sweetened the deal by casually drawing a hand down your own side and subtly cupping your own breast before letting your hand fall to the hem of your shirt. Coyly, you lifted it a few inches as you cocked a hip.

They both looked much less dangerous with their jaws loosened. tbc …

#beetlejuice #brightjuice #blumjuice #beetlejuice x reader #musical beetlejuice x reader #writing #fanfiction #hcs

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thegoosewiththemost · 2 years

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Haunting - Part 14

Summary: getting pissed with BJ.

Read Part 13 here

Read Part 15 here

You were sitting on the living room couch, giving Betelgeuse a very unprofessional home manicure job (you had seen a grand total of 2 YouTube tutorials and somehow you were convinced that you had devised the holy grail of ways to go about the manicure by following both). When asked about colour, you decided on black lacquer; “Gotta get that grave dirt aesthetic, babes!” he had said.

Doing this while drunk and on a sugar high was proving to be more of a disaster than you anticipated. Somehow you found yourself missing his nails and painting a good deal of his finger, the couch and your clothes along with it, not that Betelgeuse seemed to care in the slightest. Because he was also drunk as hell. You’d ‘touch up’ the edges later with a q-tip, although by that point, ‘touch-up’ was a rather generous term to describe what had gone down.

You had made a cheeky stop for the liquor store before heading home from your beach trip and the many brightly coloured bottles of flavoured soju lining the shelves caught your eyes. Betelgeuse couldn’t decide on a flavour, and you loved most of them in equal measure so you did the self indulgent thing and bought a bottle of each.

He’s only got a month of this, I may as well go all out, you said to yourself as you made the purchase. A tacky excuse, but not untrue. You weren’t an alcoholic by any means, but social drinking made for more than interesting fun times, you discovered from past experience.

At the end of the day, you ended up bagging 6 bottles. And now, here you were. Utterly wasted, binge eating gummy candy and trying unsuccessfully to paint Betelgeuse’s nails.

“You know, you were kind of an asshole back before you were, yknow corporeal. You still are sometimes, but at least you’re yourself. It’s funny because i feel like sometimes you’re so unapologetically genuine and other times you try so hard to be funny when you’re uncomfortable.”

“Ey, come on! Why d’ya gotta call me out like that! It’s my defence mechanism. Some animals go for flight, fight or flee but I run my engines on frightening, flirting and lifting some spirits. It’s the new vogue baby!” He couldn’t help but feel just a little bit pleased with himself.

You ignored the bad pun with a great ounce of determination.

“Yeah, well I wouldn’t point it out except for the fact that your face literally shows exactly how you feel.”

“I’ll have you know, I have, *hic* a fucking excellent poker face.” Betelgeuse leaned in toward you, until he was just inches away as he schooled an expression of complete calmness into his face. You didn’t even need to take a whiff to know that he smelt absolutely flammable.

Pfttt!

You tried (to varying degrees of success) to hold in your chuckling, a thin hiss of air escaping every now and then.

And it was all fine until your eyes locked with his and the floodgates burst open. Ugly laughter, snorts and giggles spilled out with nothing to stop it. First you, and then Betelgeuse followed (you hoped he was laughing with you and not at you, although you were so light headed you couldn’t tell). It was one of those moments where even the most random shit would seem funny.

You laughed so hard your sides started cramping up and you had to gasp between your breaths for oxygen. “Ow ow ow ow ow!”

“Wow, you ok there? Just take a little breather baby.” The pun took too long to register as the words rolled about your mind like loose marbles.

Almost instinctively you found his hands holding you upright at your armpits like a cat that’s been picked up like so and stretched ever so slightly.

“Beej! You’ll ruin your nails! You gotta wait for them to dry before you start doing things like that!” You protested.

“You couldn’t breathe and I wasn’t going to wait until you keeled over and died from asphyxiation before I did that! Besides, ‘gives me an excuse to ask you to do them for me tomorrow.”

“Maybe tomorrow I’ll actually paint your nails and not everything around them.” You began to yawn widely as your words became increasingly slurred.

“Alright, time for bed babes. You look like you’re gonna pass out any minute.” Scooping you up in his arms you pressed your face into his shirt, hiding away from the light as much as you could. You couldn’t see his face but if you could in the moment, he would’ve been flushed, and not just from the alcohol.

“..mm...” Vaguely, you acknowledged what he said, finding it hard to garner the energy to respond or react. Your limbs felt so so heavy, like lead weights trying to work against Betelgeuse as he carried you to your room.

“What?”

“...you’re so soft, Beej... and comfy.. like a giant pillow..” With your head resting against his chest, you could heart the faint rhythmic thump of his heart beneath the stripy ensemble he insisted on wearing. You fell silent as he carried you, lulled to attention by the quiet symphony of organs working in unison, the way they popped and squelched inside his body. It was too hard to keep your eyes open in the comfort you were encased in and once they shut, you couldn’t seem to foster the will to open them again.

You felt, rather than saw him deposit you under the blankets and when it was done, his warmth reluctantly receded from your side, leaving you feeling as cold as the unwarmed bed you lay on. Before you could stop yourself, you chased his sleeve with your hand, groping blindly in the darkness, hoping to land on something and somehow connecting with him.

“Stay with me, please?”

Betelgeuse felt his breath hitch. It was the first time you had ever asked him to join you in bed. Maybe it was said in a moment of fleeting confusion fuelled by a night of excessive drinking, but it showed that some part of you (maybe a misguided part) trusted him enough now to let him sleep near you.

Maybe it was the alcohol kicking in or maybe he just wanted a reason to get close combined with a rather enticing invitation, but he didn’t protest as he slipped under the covers to snuggle up beside you to enjoy the moment. He has learned not to question the small blessings that life gifts him.

Feeling the dip in the bed beside you, you shuffled closer, you pressed yourself up against that gentle warmth and sighing in contentment at how nice it felt. You heard a strange purr rumbling from beside you as Betelgeuse shifts, wrapping his soft frame around you like the overgrown cat he was, making it known that he was enjoying whatever this was.

It wouldn’t last, he knew, As quick as it had come, it was sure to leave once you came to your senses in the morning. That was alright though. It was fine to indulge in a little fantasy of playing house every once in a while, wasn’t it?

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice musical #beetlejuice x reader #musicaljuice x reader #musicaljuice #brightjuice #blumjuice

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dreamsofalife · 2 months

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Beej lets out a hearty grunt as he hefts the shovel onto his other shoulder, fresh grave dirt falling in clumps and sprinkles from his hair and suit. It’s hard to tell exactly what he’s whistling, but he’s whistling, and it’s definitely…something.

"Hey! Excuse me?"

Cutting through the graveyard on her way home from work is normal for her; considering she works very close by, and she enjoys the trip more for it, it's become a part of her routine.

What is not normal, however, is running across a strange man, possibly committing a crime, while he whistles. Whether driven by foolish bravery or sheer confusion, she jogs closer, arm waving in the air in an attempt to catch his attention.

"Excuse me! Hey! Um...I think you're committing a crime right now! Grave robbery and desecration are felonies!"

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brookstonalmanac · 7 months

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Holidays 10.26

Holidays

Accession Day (Jammu and Kashmir, India)

African-American Cotton Pickers Day

American Bar Association Giving Day

Angam Day (a.k.a. Day of Fulfillment; Nauru)

Day of Mourning Day (Libya)

Day of the Deployed

Doonesbury Day

Goose Day (French Republic)

Horseless Carriage Day

Howl at the Moon Day

International Red Cross Day

Intersex Awareness Day

Kojagrat Purnima (Nepal)

Mule Day

National Day of the Deployed

National Financial Crime Fighter Day

National Gospel Day (Cook Islands)

National Livestock Guardian Dog Appreciation & Awareness Day

National Mule Day

National Noah Day

National Ranboo Day

National Tennessee Day

National Transgender Children Day

National Vivace Microneedling Day

Neutrality Day (Austria)

Peniamina Gospel Day (Niue)

Planet-Wide Moon Howl

Rugby Day

St. Elsewhere Day

Topin Wagglegammon

Workaholic Stop and Smell Something Day

World Amyloidosis Day

Worldwide Howl at the Moon Night

Food & Drink Celebrations

Chicken Fried Steak Day

Exaltation of the Shellfish (Spain)

International Mavrud Day (Bulgaria)

National Mincemeat Pie Day

National Pumpkin Day

Pretzel Day

Texas Chicken Fried Steak Day

4th & Last Thursday in October

Black Thursday [Thursday of Last Full Week]

International Carignan Day [Last Thursday]

Punkie Night (Somerset, England) [Last Thursday]

Independence Days

Austria (from Allies of WW2, 1955)

Feast Days

Albinus (Christian; Saint)

Alfred the Great (Catholic Church, Anglican Church, Eastern Orthodox Church)

Amandus of Strasbourg (Christian; Saint)

Beóán (a..k.a. Bean) of Mortlach (Christian; Saint)

Casper, Big Bird’s Brother (Muppetism)

Cedd (Christian; Saint)

Celine Borzecka (Christian; Blessed)

Cuthbert of Canterbury (Christian; Saint)

Day of the Ancients (Asatru/Pagan Slavic)

Demetrius of Thessaloniki (Christian; Saint)

Diwali, Day 3 (Hindu, Jain, Sikh), a.k.a. ...

Bhai Duj (Parts of India)

Bhau Beej (Parts of India)

Chitragupth Jayanti (Parts of India)

Dawat Puja (Parts of India)

Day of Cows

Deepavali Holiday (Manipur, India)

Deepawali (Sikkim, India)

Festival of Lights, Day 3

Gai Tihar

Laxmi Puja (Sikkim, India)

Ningol Chakkouba (Parts of India)

Tihar Festival (Nepal)

Yam Pancake (Nepal)

Eadfrith of Leominster (Christian; Saint)

Eata of Hexham (Christian; Saint)

Pope Evaristus (a.k.a. Aristus; Christian; Saint)

Fulk of Pavia (Roman Catholic Church)

Lilith’s Day (Pagan)

Ludi Victoriae Sullanae begins (Old Rome; until November 1)

Makoshe’s Day (Honoring Mother Earth; Asatru/Pagan)

Montesquieu (Positivist; Saint)

Onan Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Onomatopoeias Day (Pastafarian)

Philipp Nicolai, Johann Heermann and Paul Gerhardt (Lutheran Church)

Quadragesimus (Christian; Saint)

Quodvultdeus (Christian; Saint)

Rusticus of Narbonne (Christian; Saint)

Vasily Vereshchagin (Artology)

Witta (a.k.a. Albinus) of Büraburg (Christian; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Tomobiki (友引 Japan) [Good luck all day, except at noon.]

Premieres

Better Off Dead, 26th Jack Reacher book, by Lee Child (Novel; 2021)

Cello Concerto in E Minor, by Edward Eldar (Concerto; 1919)

Cloud Atlas (Film; 2012)

Cured Duck (Disney Cartoon; 1945)

Dan in Real Life (Film; 2007)

Donnie Darko (Film; 2001)

Firework, by Katy Perry (Song; 2010)

The Great Santini (Film; 1979)

Head Hunters, by Herbie Hancock (Album; 1973)

Heartbreaker, by Pat Benatar (Song; 1979)

Interstellar (Film; 2014)

Life as a House (Film; 2001)

Mourning Becomes Electra, by Eugene O'Neill (Play; 1931)

Quadrophenia, by The Who (Album; 1973)

Rock Meets Rock or Thud and Blunder (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S6, Ep. 313; 1964)

San Andreas (Film; 2015)

St. Elsewhere (TV Series; 1982)

Supergirl (TV Series; 2015)

The Terminator (Film; 1984)

Three Orphan Kittens (Disney Cartoon; 1935)

Under Pressure, by Queen & David Bowie (Song; 1981)

A Watery Grave or Drown Among the Sheltering Palms (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S6, Ep. 314; 1964)

You’re the Top, recorded by Cole Porter (Song; 1934)

Your Song, by Elton John (Song; 1970)

Today’s Name Days

Albin, Amand, Wigand (Austria)

Dimitar, Dimitrina, Mitko (Bulgaria)

Amando, Demetrije, Dimitrije, Dmitar, Evarist, Lucijan, Mitar, Rogacijan, Zvonimir (Croatia)

Erik (Czech Republic)

Amandus (Denmark)

Aime, Aimi, Amanda, Ami, Manda (Estonia)

Amanda, Manta, Niina, Nina, Ninni (Finland)

Dimitri (France)

Albin, Amand, Anastacia, Josephine, Wieland (Germany)

Demetris, Dimitra, Dimitrios, Dimitris, Glykon, Leptinis (Greece)

Dömötör(Hungary)

Evaristo (Italy)

Amanda, Kaiva (Latvia)

Evaristas, Liaudginas, Mingintė (Lithuania)

Amanda, Amandus (Norway)

Dymitriusz, Ewaryst, Eweryst, Łucjan, Lucyna, Ludmiła, Lutosław (Poland)

Dimitrie (Romania)

Demeter (Slovakia)

Evaristo, Felicísimo, Luciano (Spain)

Amanda, Rasmus (Sweden)

Madden, Maddock, Maddox, Mahala, Mahalia, Makenna, Mckenna (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 299 of 2024; 66 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 4 of week 43 of 2023

Celtic Tree Calendar: Gort (Ivy) [Day 24 of 28]

Chinese: Month 9 (Ten-Xu), Day 12 (Ding-Si)

Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)

Hebrew: 11 Heshvan 5784

Islamic: 11 Rabi II 1445

J Cal: 29 Shù; Eightday [29 of 30]

Julian: 13 October 2023

Moon: 94%: Waxing Gibbous

Positivist: 19 Descartes (11th Month) [Montesquieu]

Runic Half Month: Wyn (Joy) [Day 15 of 15]

Season: Autumn (Day 33 of 89)

Zodiac: Scorpio (Day 3 of 29)

#Holidays

0 notes

dynamokota · 3 months

Text

Trouble Brewing - a short drabble with my Beetlejuice OC

Hardly any plot. Basically a drabble of Lydia's witchcraft lessons with my OC Elias Graves, with a little Graves x Beej (platonic and slight hints of a mutual attraction) at the end. Also on Ao3.

It was a few months ago that Lydia discovered some strange things about herself, things most 17 year-old girls didn't typically deal with.

In the year since her paranormal escapades, and after reconnecting with Beetlejuice, very strange and unusual things started occurring, and this time it wasn't ghosts or demons. Sometimes lights flickered when she was stressed, and also animals seemed to be drawn to her; like the stray cat who kept following her on the way home from school (who she named 'Percy' and took home after convincing her family to let her keep him).

It turned out that the paranormal events that occurred a year prior had awakened a dormant gene. A witch gene.

Lydia was a witch.

And while Charles and Delia were hesitant to accept this when a member of the local 'witch council' informed them of Lydia’s abilities (how this so-called 'council' found out about Lydia was a mystery; must have been a witch thing), they supported Lydia's desire to be a part of this world.

Lydia needed a tutor. And while most witches typically learned from their family, in this case, someone had to be hired for the job. It took a few weeks, but word got around, and eventually Elias Graves, a male witch in his late twenties in need of some extra cash, was hired for the job.

Beetlejuice, who enjoyed spending time with Lydia, wanted to watch her learn the magic he hadn't seen in hundreds of years, and wanted to ogle Graves (who Beetlejuice found, quote, "unbearably sexy"), decided to join Lydia and observe her lessons. He even began to form a fairly close friendship with Graves, despite the constant sexual comments and flirting from Beetlejuice.

It was hard for Lydia to believe it had been almost two and a half months since she started learning witchcraft from Graves, who she felt a sibling-like connection to, just like she did towards Beetlejuice.

“Now stir counterclockwise with a low flame for one to two minutes, or until the mixture thickens slightly.”

“Um… okay? How do I change the flame? I haven’t quite figured out fire magic yet.”

“Oh. Right.”

It wasn’t food Elias Graves and his student Lydia Deetz were cooking, but a potion. A basic one: an anti-poison, whether it was from food, toxins, venom, or other pathogens.

The smell filling the room in a thick mist was reminiscent of scented car wax; vaguely sweet and not unpleasant, but could give you a headache or make you nauseated if you stayed in the room too long.

The cauldron sat on a small metal stand, below which a green flame seemed to be emitting from nowhere. It illuminated the dimly lit room in a emerald glow, which made Graves's tired, pale face and sunken eyes look like eerily like a skull.

Lydia had her black-dyed hair tied back with her lace sleeves rolled up as a safety precaution, and as she followed Graves’s stirring instructions, Percy the cat watched the bubbles at the surface of the potion with curiosity. The shiny, dark teal mixture did as Graves said it would and thickened to a syrup-like consistency.

“Okay, it’s thickening! What’s next?” Lydia asked excitedly.

“One poisonous mushroom, any type, whole. I tweaked the recipe for use with fly agaric since it's local and what I could find at the witch's market.”

Lydia looked around for the large, bright red mushroom that looked straight out of a video game or cartoon. It wasn't with the other ingredients, and Percy couldn't possibly have knocked it off of the table.

“Uh… Eli? I can't find the mushroom.”

Graves looked up from the potion book (which was titled “Potions, Antidotes, and Elixirs for All That Ails You” by Ariadne Hargrove), confused at the question. He set down the book and looked around for a moment before he suddenly turned around and glared at Beetlejuice, who simply chuckled.

“Beej, I swear to God, if you keep eating Lydia’s potion ingredients--”

Beetlejuice laughed. “Sorry, Gravesy! I couldn't help myself! I was hoping it would give me one hell of a trip! As sexy as you are, your lessons can get kinda boring.”

Lydia rolled her eyes but smirked as the two of them bickered. This wasn't the first time Beetlejuice ruined a potion by eating the ingredients, and it probably wouldn't be the last. She had a feeling Beetlejuice did it just to get on Graves’s nerves, like a child at the playground with a crush. And Lydia thought it was adorable.

“So, what now? Do we go back to the market and buy another? I’d kinda like to finish this potion today.” Lydia asked in a slightly raised voice, trying to interrupt the bickering, as endearing as she found it to be.

Graves cleared his throat. “Um… No, I think it's too late at this point, sorry. The mushroom needs to be added immediately after the potion thickens. We’d have to make the potion base from scratch, which means even more ingredients I’d have to buy again, not just the mushroom.” Graves glared at Beetlejuice again, who just smiled playfully.

Lydia sighed. “Oh well. I got the gist of the recipe anyway. And I wrote a lot down too. I'm definitely better at taking notes here than at school.”

Lydia handed Graves the notes she took. She had written nearly everything Graves told her: The origins of the potion, what poisons it does and doesn't work on, and why a potion meant to combat poisoning used poisonous mushrooms as an ingredient; she had written ‘kinda like an antigen in a vaccine’ next to that part of the notes, which she must have realized herself, as Graves never made that comparison.

Graves read through all of Lydia's notes and gave a rare smile, which was a good sign.

“...Yeah, that’s good. And I never thought of it that way. Great job, Lydia.”

Graves stood back up and looked at his recipe book again while Lydia looked quite proud of herself.

“After you add the mushroom, which is now in Beej's stomach, it says you're supposed give it a quick stir, clockwise this time, and let it simmer until the mushroom breaks down and the potion is smooth again.” Graves stated, leaning against the counter with the potion book in hand.

“The whole mushroom breaks down? Like, it just dissolves into the potion?” Lydia asked concerningly, and noticeably inched a little away from the cauldron, as if the mixture was so caustic that it could burn a hole through anything it touched.

“It’s not like it’s acid or anything,” Graves reassured her (Beetlejuice let out a disappointed ‘Aw!’) “It’s just the reaction between the mushroom and the other ingredients; it’s not dangerous to drink. Well… no more than any other potion.”

Lydia almost laughed, but then she realized that, knowing Graves, it probably wasn't meant to be a joke. She hoped she'd never have to drink an anti-poison just in case it could dissolve her insides.

“Well, if we can't finish the potion, I guess the lesson's over, right? I think I'll head home. See you next week, Eli.” Lydia gathered her things, gave Graves a quick hug, and picked up Percy.

“You coming, Beej? Or are you gonna stay a bit longer?”

“Nah, I think I'll hang here with Gravesy for a little while. See you in a bit, kid.” Beetlejuice said as he flung his arm around Graves's shoulder. Graves rolled his eyes while Lydia smirked at them.

“Alright. Have fun, you two. Make good choices. Use protection.” Lydia said as she winked at them.

Graves groaned while Beetlejuice laughed. Lydia definitely started making dirty jokes more often because of Beetlejuice, to the dismay of her father (and the amusement of her stepmother).

“We're not--!” Graves began to protest before Lydia interrupted with “I know, I know! It's just a joke!” as she left.

Beetlejuice remained quiet for a moment before speaking up again.

“I think we both know I don't use pro--”

“Shut up, Beej.”

Graves tried to sound annoyed, but he was clearly trying to stifle a laugh, and his ears turned bright red. Beetlejuice was probably the only person that could make Graves almost laugh, as well as blush, which made it all the more fun for the demon.

“Aw, come on, Gravesy. You know you wanna.” Beetlejuice teased.

“Laugh? It wasn't that funny.”

“I wasn't talking about laughing.”

Graves rolled his eyes. “...You're a pain in the ass.”

“Heh, being a pain in your ass sounds pretty good to me!”

Graves let out another groan of annoyance, but playfully elbowed the demon in the ribs, though forcibly enough to make Beetlejuice recoil a little in pain.

“You want a drink or something, Beej?”

"Definitely. That mushroom didn't do shit.”

#beetlejuice the musical #oc #original character #beetlejuice #bjtm #beetlejuice broadway #beetlejuice oc #beetlejuice musical #graves and beej #ocs #bjtm oc #fanfic #fanfiction #drabble #beetlejuice musical oc #beetlejuice the musical oc #beetlejuice fanfic #beetlejuice fanfiction #writing

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brookston · 7 months

Text

Holidays 10.26

Holidays

Accession Day (Jammu and Kashmir, India)

African-American Cotton Pickers Day

American Bar Association Giving Day

Angam Day (a.k.a. Day of Fulfillment; Nauru)

Day of Mourning Day (Libya)

Day of the Deployed

Doonesbury Day

Goose Day (French Republic)

Horseless Carriage Day

Howl at the Moon Day

International Red Cross Day

Intersex Awareness Day

Kojagrat Purnima (Nepal)

Mule Day

National Day of the Deployed

National Financial Crime Fighter Day

National Gospel Day (Cook Islands)

National Livestock Guardian Dog Appreciation & Awareness Day

National Mule Day

National Noah Day

National Ranboo Day

National Tennessee Day

National Transgender Children Day

National Vivace Microneedling Day

Neutrality Day (Austria)

Peniamina Gospel Day (Niue)

Planet-Wide Moon Howl

Rugby Day

St. Elsewhere Day

Topin Wagglegammon

Workaholic Stop and Smell Something Day

World Amyloidosis Day

Worldwide Howl at the Moon Night

Food & Drink Celebrations

Chicken Fried Steak Day

Exaltation of the Shellfish (Spain)

International Mavrud Day (Bulgaria)

National Mincemeat Pie Day

National Pumpkin Day

Pretzel Day

Texas Chicken Fried Steak Day

4th & Last Thursday in October

Black Thursday [Thursday of Last Full Week]

International Carignan Day [Last Thursday]

Punkie Night (Somerset, England) [Last Thursday]

Independence Days

Austria (from Allies of WW2, 1955)

Feast Days

Albinus (Christian; Saint)

Alfred the Great (Catholic Church, Anglican Church, Eastern Orthodox Church)

Amandus of Strasbourg (Christian; Saint)

Beóán (a..k.a. Bean) of Mortlach (Christian; Saint)

Casper, Big Bird’s Brother (Muppetism)

Cedd (Christian; Saint)

Celine Borzecka (Christian; Blessed)

Cuthbert of Canterbury (Christian; Saint)

Day of the Ancients (Asatru/Pagan Slavic)

Demetrius of Thessaloniki (Christian; Saint)

Diwali, Day 3 (Hindu, Jain, Sikh), a.k.a. ...

Bhai Duj (Parts of India)

Bhau Beej (Parts of India)

Chitragupth Jayanti (Parts of India)

Dawat Puja (Parts of India)

Day of Cows

Deepavali Holiday (Manipur, India)

Deepawali (Sikkim, India)

Festival of Lights, Day 3

Gai Tihar

Laxmi Puja (Sikkim, India)

Ningol Chakkouba (Parts of India)

Tihar Festival (Nepal)

Yam Pancake (Nepal)

Eadfrith of Leominster (Christian; Saint)

Eata of Hexham (Christian; Saint)

Pope Evaristus (a.k.a. Aristus; Christian; Saint)

Fulk of Pavia (Roman Catholic Church)

Lilith’s Day (Pagan)

Ludi Victoriae Sullanae begins (Old Rome; until November 1)

Makoshe’s Day (Honoring Mother Earth; Asatru/Pagan)

Montesquieu (Positivist; Saint)

Onan Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Onomatopoeias Day (Pastafarian)

Philipp Nicolai, Johann Heermann and Paul Gerhardt (Lutheran Church)

Quadragesimus (Christian; Saint)

Quodvultdeus (Christian; Saint)

Rusticus of Narbonne (Christian; Saint)

Vasily Vereshchagin (Artology)

Witta (a.k.a. Albinus) of Büraburg (Christian; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Tomobiki (友引 Japan) [Good luck all day, except at noon.]

Premieres

Better Off Dead, 26th Jack Reacher book, by Lee Child (Novel; 2021)

Cello Concerto in E Minor, by Edward Eldar (Concerto; 1919)

Cloud Atlas (Film; 2012)

Cured Duck (Disney Cartoon; 1945)

Dan in Real Life (Film; 2007)

Donnie Darko (Film; 2001)

Firework, by Katy Perry (Song; 2010)

The Great Santini (Film; 1979)

Head Hunters, by Herbie Hancock (Album; 1973)

Heartbreaker, by Pat Benatar (Song; 1979)

Interstellar (Film; 2014)

Life as a House (Film; 2001)

Mourning Becomes Electra, by Eugene O'Neill (Play; 1931)

Quadrophenia, by The Who (Album; 1973)

Rock Meets Rock or Thud and Blunder (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S6, Ep. 313; 1964)

San Andreas (Film; 2015)

St. Elsewhere (TV Series; 1982)

Supergirl (TV Series; 2015)

The Terminator (Film; 1984)

Three Orphan Kittens (Disney Cartoon; 1935)

Under Pressure, by Queen & David Bowie (Song; 1981)

A Watery Grave or Drown Among the Sheltering Palms (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S6, Ep. 314; 1964)

You’re the Top, recorded by Cole Porter (Song; 1934)

Your Song, by Elton John (Song; 1970)

Today’s Name Days

Albin, Amand, Wigand (Austria)

Dimitar, Dimitrina, Mitko (Bulgaria)

Amando, Demetrije, Dimitrije, Dmitar, Evarist, Lucijan, Mitar, Rogacijan, Zvonimir (Croatia)

Erik (Czech Republic)

Amandus (Denmark)

Aime, Aimi, Amanda, Ami, Manda (Estonia)

Amanda, Manta, Niina, Nina, Ninni (Finland)

Dimitri (France)

Albin, Amand, Anastacia, Josephine, Wieland (Germany)

Demetris, Dimitra, Dimitrios, Dimitris, Glykon, Leptinis (Greece)

Dömötör(Hungary)

Evaristo (Italy)

Amanda, Kaiva (Latvia)

Evaristas, Liaudginas, Mingintė (Lithuania)

Amanda, Amandus (Norway)

Dymitriusz, Ewaryst, Eweryst, Łucjan, Lucyna, Ludmiła, Lutosław (Poland)

Dimitrie (Romania)

Demeter (Slovakia)

Evaristo, Felicísimo, Luciano (Spain)

Amanda, Rasmus (Sweden)

Madden, Maddock, Maddox, Mahala, Mahalia, Makenna, Mckenna (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 299 of 2024; 66 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 4 of week 43 of 2023

Celtic Tree Calendar: Gort (Ivy) [Day 24 of 28]

Chinese: Month 9 (Ten-Xu), Day 12 (Ding-Si)

Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)

Hebrew: 11 Heshvan 5784

Islamic: 11 Rabi II 1445

J Cal: 29 Shù; Eightday [29 of 30]

Julian: 13 October 2023

Moon: 94%: Waxing Gibbous

Positivist: 19 Descartes (11th Month) [Montesquieu]

Runic Half Month: Wyn (Joy) [Day 15 of 15]

Season: Autumn (Day 33 of 89)

Zodiac: Scorpio (Day 3 of 29)

#calendar #Holidays

0 notes

monsterlovinghours · 4 years

Note

Hey Linds, so that thing we were talking about on discord with the vibrating plug and Bee’s shadow and the ruined orgasms...feel like making that a full fic? Because I have a latent humiliation kink and I’m fucking feral now 😬

They had always called you their little kitten, almost as soon as they began courting you. Bee had even offered only half-jokingly to give you cat ears and a tail; with his magic, it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility, but you had swiftly shut him down. Though it seemed the idea hadn’t been entirely forgotten, least of all by Cia, who was calling you into the smoking room.

“Come on in, leannan, we’ve got a surprise for ya.”

The five of them had perhaps a little too much anticipation in their eyes as you entered the room, and you felt a wary sort of apprehension. “What’s the surprise?”

Cia grins and holds up a box for you to open, and your cheeks turn red when you open it; now the looks on their faces made sense. Nestled inside the box was a collar with a delicate little bell on it, made of pink leather with your name stamped into the side. And beside it, a specially crafted plug, tapered and shiny, with a furred tail attached. “For our little kitten,” Cia all but purred as Zhuk plucked the collar from the box and fastened it around your neck, placing a kiss at the clasp. “Bend over the desk, pretty girl, let’s see how the other half of your gift fits.”

Gentle hands pull the clothes from you before you bend obediently over the desk, already shivering with want when you hear the unmistakable sound of lube being applied to the device. It was cool when it nudged against you, Cia’s hand splaying across your lower back to keep you still as he edged it in, bit by bit, cooing praise to you in a mix of English and Gaelic. Bee bent to stroke your hair, running silk gloved fingers soothingly down your cheek.

“There you are, darlin’. Aren’t you just cute as a button?”

“And speaking of buttons,” Gio added, fishing around in the box and withdrawing a small remote. You had only a split second of dawning horror before he pressed the “on” button and the plug began to vibrate, drawing a whimper from your lips, much to their delight.

“Such kittenish sounds she makes already,” Bajo chuckled. They helped you back to your feet, your knees only a little wobbly from the vibrations deep inside of you.

“Now, off you get,” Cia said gently, stroking his fingers down your neck.

“Just remember,” Zhuk added in a low voice that seemed level enough but carried an unmistakable undercurrent of threat, “you are not allowed to cum without permission, kotenok. You know how to gain permission, yes?”

“By being good,” you mumbled obediently.

“You’re off to a wonderful start, ma cher. Go on, now.” Bee’s hand slipped down your back as he nudged you toward the door, and you did as told, stepping out into the hallway. That could have been a lot worse, and the vibrations are bearable enough. No sooner do you have that thought then the intensity suddenly spikes, sending you clutching at the wall and yelping. From behind the smoking room doors, you can hear muffled laughter.

Bastards.

Going about your day was difficult, not only because you were traipsing around the manor in no clothing, not only because the bell around your neck announced your presence wherever you went, but because of that damn plug. It had been hours, and you were dripping, slick practically running down your thighs as you tried to concentrate on your work. Surely the batteries would run out at some point? You prayed they would, but the vibration never lowered from that base intensity, though it jacked up several times, leaving you shaking and whimpering, more often than not driven to the ground because your knees refused to hold you up any longer. You needed relief, were getting desperate for it, but you had already asked three times and were denied. They wanted you to be patient, they wanted you to be good. There was only so much you were willing to take, and you were quickly approaching that threshold.

Later in the evening, when the five of them were holed up in their offices, you snuck across the house, into an old parlor that nobody used, well away from them. You sank down onto the old couch and, with one final look around to make sure you were completely alone, the house completely silent around you, you began to touch yourself. Oh God, that was exactly what you needed, and you bit your lip to stifle a needy moan. It didn’t take long to get yourself up to that edge, and with barely a moment’s hesitation, you made yourself cum, biting on your hand to quiet yourself. A smug smile crossed your face as you finished and got back to your feet, feeling satisfied that you’ve gotten away with it, and that they’d be none the wiser.

Then, breaking the silence, echoing laughter, dark and sinister and horrifyingly familiar, seemingly coming from the walls themselves.

“Naughty, naughty kitten. Didn’t we tell you that you weren't allowed? And you thought you could pull one over on us? Oh, ma petite, you are sorely mistaken."

Shadows began to peel themselves off the walls, grinning spectral wisps that slithered toward you; Bee’s shadows. Oh no.

You tried to make a run for it, but something wrapped around your ankle, tugging you to the ground. Cold wisps coiled around your wrists, holding them behind your back as your legs were yanked apart, pulling your lower half into the air as your face was shoved into the carpet. Light spilled into the room as the five of them gathered at the doorway, the faint glow of Bee’s eyes matching the glow of his cane. They didn’t say a word, but the vibrations reached their maximum intensity, and you began babbling apologies, pleading with them to let you go. Still, they were silent. Impossibly, the plug went beyond its highest setting, spurred on by their magic, and you howled, thrashing in your bonds.

Something cold and slippery ran over your aching clit, and you yelped, jerking against the shadows that held you pinned. You could hear Bee’s ominous little chuckle as that phantom tongue flicked over your clit, wrapped around it and gave vibrations of its own. In seconds, you were on the brink of orgasm, but just as you began to fall over that edge, all sensation ceased. You cried out, sobbed and cursed as your orgasm was ruined.

“You know, mi amigo, I don’t think our kitten has learned her lesson just yet.”

Then, it all began again. Now, a second cold appendage began to work its way into your dripping entrance, curling within you to press against that sweet spot, your toes curling as another orgasm began to build, and, just like its predecessor, was ruined.

“Again, malishka.”

This continued for the better part of a hour, the carpet beneath your hips soaked with your slick, the carpet beneath your head soaked with your tears. You were beyond words now, beyond begging or pleading or crying; all you could manage were whimpers and incoherent babbling. Finally, after perhaps two dozen ruined orgasms, the shadows released their hold on you, letting you collapse to the floor in a twitching, sobbing heap.

Five pairs of hands, cool against your damp, feverish skin, petted you, soothed you, gently eased the plug out of you. “Easy, gattina, we’ve got you. Did you learn your lesson, sweet girl?” You nodded as Gio brushed his fingers through your hair, Bajo gently massaging your legs as they carefully turned you onto your back. “Good girl. Tomorrow, once you’ve rested, you can have those orgasms you so desperately wanted. We can spend the whole day ravishing you, how does that sound?”

“Mmmm.”

You could only hum and nuzzle into his hand, nodding shallowly, before Zhuk gathered you into his arms, lifting you as if you were no heavier than a paper doll. You weren’t quite sure where you finally succumbed to exhaustion, or in whose arms you drifted off in, but you knew that you were safe, and that despite the punishment, that you were loved beyond belief.

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice the musical #mafia!beej #the conglomerate #woof #welp tonight is the night that i send kat to an early grave

80 notes · View notes

eetz-archived · 3 years

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lydia may be a whole five foot two inches but she’ll tackle your muse to the goddamn ground in a hug

#she'll also fit Right Under Your Chin for hugs #—— ♰ ． reads like stereo instructions ! ： headcanons #she tackles beej like a goddamn dog #he audibly OOFs #a cloud of dust/grave dirt comes up #it's a mess #delia is fussing over the carpet #just. Panic.

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obsessive-ego · 8 months

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Onto your "y/n not realizing every sign is pointing at Beej as their soulmate" series I add:

Beej: Lydia look at my fortune! It says "love is alive and waiting for you" how weird is that?

Lydia: NOT YOU TOO OH MY GO-

They're both idiots and I love it

Y/n: funny, mine says "you will find love beyond the grave" haha that is like the third time I got that fortune, what are the odds

Lydia face down on the table, trying not to scream

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sexyundeadtrash · 3 years

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Caught p.2

Caught part 1 | part 2

warnings: biting, smut, some powerplay i guess, oral sex (f recieving)

How do I get out of this?

Electricity buzzed along your skin, his cold grip like fire on your wrist, as you struggled to grab your phone.

Asshole.

“Just give me the phone, or I’ll knee you in the dick.”

He grinned.

“Is that the sort of thing you were reading about, babes?”

You rolled your eyes, a flush creeping up your neck at an alarming rate.

Shut up.

“I’m not kidding.”

You fix him your best glare. It doesn’t work, though, because his fangs poke out from his grin, and your eyes flutter down, the flush finally landing on your cheeks. Looking back up to his eyes, you know it didn’t go unnoticed.

You take a deep breath.

“You give in?” He cocked an eyebrow, as you slackened in his grip. He leaned into your ear, and your knees turned to jelly. Thank god he was holding you up. “Or do you want me to keep holding you?”

Your brain shut down. His hot breath tickled the shell of your ear, his fangs almost brushing against your earlobe. Your skin danced under the possibility.

His grip had loosened though.

In one swoop, you flew under his arm and grabbed the phone back, running to the other side of the room. He was quite the picture. Dumbfounded and bewildered didn’t begin to describe it. He stumbled around, then turned to you, frowning, before that grin crept back onto his face.

Oh no.

“Stay back, I swear,” you almost laugh, he’s already on to you.

“Or what? Kick me again?”

“I didn’t kick you the first time.”

“Such a tease.”

He was a few feet away now. You took a step back. He took a step forward.

“So whats on your phone?”

You blush. You’d already forgotten that’s what started this.

“Nothing,” you frown, voice getting higher by the second. “Just browsing.”

“Sure a lot of fuss over just browsing, babes,” he clicked his tongue. Another step.

You hit the wall.

“I’m a private person,” you shrug. Your eyes stayed trained on his, as he leaned towards you. Almost nose to nose. You felt his breath on your lips. His eyes looked into yours with a look you couldn’t quite distinguish.

“How private?”

He leaned his arms either side of your head, you were suddenly aware how dry your mouth was. How you’d been holding your breath. How your knees had buckled.

Fuck it.

You leaned forward.

Beetlejuice, taken by surprise, didn’t respond for a second. His arms stiffened. As soon as your hand reached up to caress his cheek, he leaned forward, your head against the wall, as his lips moved hungrily against yours. Teeth grazing your bottom lip. His tongue dipping inside.

You leaned forward, fingers pulling on his suspenders. He took the signal and moved forward, deepening the kiss, hands running down to your waist, then your hips, finally grabbing your ass. You were surprised he helf out this long.

You reluctantly parted. Catching your breath you caught the spark in his eyes. He looked in awe.

“You can grab me, you know, I’m not gunna break.”

He raised his eyebrows, then nodded eagerly, straightening himself up before his hands slipped over your waist.

As soon as you’d caught your breath, he was kissing you again, hands on your thighs, lifting you onto his waist. You hooked your legs across his back, pushing you against him. His stomach pressed against yours, the soft skin under his shirt pressed against your thighs. You could feel the heat pooling in between your legs, pressed up against him.

You moaned as he leaned down and pressed hot kisses against the nape of your neck. His lips grazing your collar bone agonizingly slowly. You groaned, as he looked back up at you, his eyes completely feral.

Then he bit you. His sharp teeth dug into your neck, the pain shooting through your body like lightning, the light flashed in your eyes, and then it softened against your skin. He licked and kissed the same spot, as you gasped at the contrast in touches.

Your hands gripped his hair, practically dragging him back up to your lips, he was hungry for you, eager. He walked you back to the sofa, laying you down more gently than you’d expect, his weight holding you in place against the cushions.

His hands traveled all over your body, practically ripping your clothes off you. You threw your top off, and he grinned, but you didn’t care anymore if he knew how badly you wanted this. The pit in your stomach pulled desperately toward him.

You both dragged your jeans off you and soon you were underneath him in your underwear, while he still wore his suit. HE looked you over like you were his prey. You bit your lip, looking up at him through your lashes, nervous of his reaction.

Then, before you could say anything, he leaned over you, hand gently cradling your breasts, as he trailed soft kisses down your chest.

“Beautiful,” he whispered so quietly, if the blood was rushing past your ears any louder you’d have missed it. Your breathing hitched when his mouth enveloped your nipple, softly sucking it into his mouth, tongue swirling over it as he closed his eyes in bliss at the whimper that escaped your throat. His other hand gripped the delicate skin on your hips painfully. You loved it.

He looked back up at you, as he kissed further and further down your body. Your chest rising and falling, with each quick breath that burst through your body. Your underwear was drenched, the heat in between your legs begging for friction. Your hips raised slightly in desperation. He smirked, a finger hooking your underwear, pulling it to the side as blew a gentle puff of air over your folds. Your body jerked in reaction. Your eyes looking back at him pleadingly.

He only watched you as he did it again.

You should have kicked him.

“Beetlejuice,” you warned him, narrowing your eyes, as he looked up at you innocently.

He shuffled, his head lowering between your legs, getting comfortable. You waited. Still nothing.

You looked down again, that cheeky shit-eating grin again.

“I swear to-“

He moved forward. His tongue licked a stripe up the center of your folds, and you bit back a gasp. The hands on your hips gently pressed bruises to your skin, holding you down as you tried your best to not thrust upwards for more.

His tongue gently dove between your folds, his eyes catching yours. He winked.

You would have rolled your eyes had he not flicked his tongue upwards inside you and a moan escaped instead.

“Just relax, I got you,” his voice vibrated against you, and your eyes closed. Electricity pulsed in your abdomen, your skin on fire, your slick coating his face and you thrust upwards his nose catching your clit, causing another moan. You didn’t even care anymore. Shame and embarrassment can come later. Beetlejuice knew what he was doing. His tongue worked you and you let your body relax, looking down to catch his eyes and flush, the electricity pulsing harder inside you. Your fingers laced in his hair and his eyes rolled back as he moaned against your clit. You whimpered as the build up became unbearable.

He nipped at your folds causing your body to jerk. You wanted to give a witty comeback or something but you melted against the sofa cushions, his arm now pressed against your stomach to hold you down. Your breathing quickened, his fingers shoved inside you, curling upwards, pushing you over the edge.

“Beee… I’m gunna…”

“Go on, baby girl, come for me.”

You keened at his voice, gravely and low and just for you.

“Keep… fuck… keep talking.”

He raised an eyebrow, seemingly confused, as you looked down at him with hooded eyes. You felt almost dizzy and if he stopped right now you really would kick him. Then that grin plastered across his face and the look in his eyes shined, as you closed them again, white lights shooting behind your eyelids.

“Uh uh, sweetheart, keep ‘em open for me,” you pushed against how heavy you felt, opening your eyes in time to see him press his mouth to your clit. You sucked in a breath and the weight tugging in your abdomen begged to topple over.

Your eyes pled with him.

“Gotta do better than that, babes,” his voice echoed in your head, his mouth still working away at your clit.

“Please,” you threw in the towel, “Beej, please, fuck me, I want to-“

His fingers mouth and the wave of heat crashed over you. And over you. And over you. The pull died away, his fingers still pumping away at you. Your face was on fire. You did not realize your nails had dug into his scalp, your chest pushed into the air until you flopped back down, limp and giddy.

Looking down, you pressed your hand against your forehead, wiping your sweaty hair away. Trying to get your breath back, you smiled as Beetlejuice kissed your inner thigh, looking up at you. His eyes were soft and his hair was a wild mix of pastel and hot pink.

“Were you reading something like that?”

#beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice x self insert #beetlejuice x you #beetlejuice smut #beetlejuice nsft #n/sfw #beetlejuice

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