#good lord am I going to need luck lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

missy-0-piink · 1 year

Note

I'M GONNA PREFACE THIS BY SAYING THAT I AM ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED W/ THIS ACCOUNT GOD BLESS!! THIS IS GOOD FOOD FOR THE GIRLS AND THE GAYS!! (I am both the girls and the gays)

I AM HUMBLY REQUESTING UR SMUTTY GENIUS BC THIS ACCOUNT ALONGSIDE VERY FEW OTHERS ARE THE ONLY SHIBUSAWA CONTENT THAT I CAN GET AND DESPERATELY WANT 😭😭 So would it be okay if I could ask abt some more smut hcs for Tatsuhiko bc LORD he was fine- I can't stop thinking abt him getting down and dirty w/ u in his Draconia / hybdrid dragon form.. like u just KNOW he'd be so big he'd TEAR U IN HALF 😭 But tbh he could tear me in half at any hour if that's how I go then know that I left happily 🤠

THANK U SO MUCH AND IF U DON'T WANNA ANSWER TO THIS IT'S ALL GOOD BUT THANK U SO MUCH FOR EXISTING LIKE REALLY 💕💕💕

YESSSSS IM SO GLAD THE GIRLS AND THE GAYS FOLLOW, I TOO AM A GIRL AND VERY MUCH GAY

AND THANK YOU FOR EXISTING TOO!!! IT MEANS A LOT WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY APPRECIATE THIS ACC 😘😘😘😘

Anyways, just some general hc:

His hybrid forms cock is fucking massive

It’s veiny, thicc and the base blends from his skin tone to an angry shade of dark red to the tip

It’s got little ridges on the top going along the length, and it feels fucking amazing when it’s ploughing into you

Even in his normal form, shibusawa is rough and doesn’t hesitate to show his physical power over you in bed

But in his draconian form?

His thrusts are deep and bruising, the tip hitting your cervix and making you flinch in pain each time it does, but then the overwhelming pleasure makes you forget the pain instantly

He likes to man handle you, his claws slightly piercing your skin, little droplets of blood forming before his rough tongue licks them up

In this form, he’s even more primal than he usually is, fucking you with the need to breed you

He always has a lot of cum, and he always cums inside of you,

But so much more floods inside of you when he’s like this, filling you up to the point of overflow

If you grab his horn during sex? It makes him go feral

(More so than he already is, that is)

Also, the noises he lets out?

Fucking so hot

Animalistic grunts and growls, long and deep groans escaping him

His heavy breathing can be felt against your neck, his sharp teeth grazing your skin before biting down hard enough to draw blood

He can go like, 5 rounds before tiring out, and by the end you’re just a moaning and overstimulated mess

He falls asleep with his dick inside you, making sure to plug all of his semen inside you so you are sure to be bred throughly

And you’re probably going to overheat, because he’ll cuddle you sir hard and close to his chest that you won’t be able to escape his strong grip the entire night

Good luck

————

Hope you enjoy it!!!!

Tbh, I’d be surprised if anyone that follows me is straight

(And if you do follow me and you say you’re ‘straight’, lemme just say that denial is a river in Egypt, you are-)

LMAO

Cmon, straight bsd fan? Impossible 😐

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungoustraydogs #shibusawa x reader #shibusawa tatsuhiko

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blackjackkent · 3 months

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OK, Jaheira said she wants to go bully the banker for info about Minsc in order to feel better, and who am I to deny her?

"You can tell Nine-Fingers - this was not my fault. She swore that mimic could swallow a bloody owlbear. ...Wait. You're no Guild-sworn. Who are you?"

lmao was it that obvious?

Amusingly we do have a [ROGUE] line here to claim to also be a thief, which... no, obviously. As usual, Hector defaults to plain honesty: "I came to stop you and save Minsc. Seems there was no need."

"Friend to the mad Rashemaar, are you?" Glitterbeard says dryly. "He calls himself the Stone Lord now. With what he cleared from our vaults, he's got enough gold to make himself a lord in truth."

"And he wouldn't even know what to spend it on," Jaheira quips with a frown. "It's the cult that needs that money. Why?"

The banker shrugs. "You think anyone told me? Nine-Fingers sent word the Stone Lord was going to try his luck on our vaults. So she told me to cooperate, lure him in."

He gives an elaborate mock-bow. "'Yes, sir, Stone Lord, sir. Shall we open the account in your name, or the Absolute's? Just step this way to your special deposit box - don't mind the teeth!'" He laughs humorlessly and at some length. "No one mentioned he might have some old crone dropping in as backup."

Jaheira's eyes narrow to slits. "Crone?" she says, a note of danger in her voice.

Glitterbeard swallows nervously. "Ehh... look, I just mean to say - we both want him caught. If you've got your sights set on the Stone Lord anyway..." He straightens up, looks between Hector and Jaheira ingratiatingly. "As chairman of the Fellowship of Financiers, I can assure you we'd reward you well for the return of the coin he took. Not for us, you understand. For the common Baldurian. Who knows what he's planning to do with it?"

Hector shakes his head matter-of-factly. "I just need to find Minsc," he says. "I care nothing for coin."

The banker snorts. "Good for you. I happen to care a very great deal. Retrieve the coin and I'll make sure you are well rewarded. There's treasures greater than gold. Feel free to poke around this place if it'll help you pick up the Stone Lord's scent. Me... I've got ledgers to amend."

I wonder if we can convince him to pay us in hill giant strength potions...

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #this wasn't nearly as bullying as i was led to believe it would be :P #jaheira's more tired than she let on

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ssreeder · 1 year

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SREEDIE MY GORGEOUS EX-WUSBAND

(this one is possibly my longest comment ever so uhh good luck)

no fr I saw the update I was like fucking FINALLY I’m getting some good enrichment in my enclosure how do you always have perfect timing???

and just like.. 30k?? IS IT MY BIRTHDAY ALREADY WTF you’re honestly insane ilysm

fuck you I don’t love you “zuko didn’t return that night” looking ass >:(

okay ik this is a sad emotional scene but the spirits not giving a fuck about sokka is like so ironic lmao bc in the show they never leave him alone even tho he tries to avoid them at all costs T-T

bruh not sokka thinking hakoda is annoying for breathing- he’s finally experiencing a normal teenager experience :’)

oh nooooo sokka if you tell hakoda you’re in love with zuko and hakoda reacts badly fuuuuuuck

YES SOKKA SOB OUT THE SADNESS EXPERIENCE SOME CATHARSIS BESTIE WOOOO

hakoda said toxic masculinity get rekt that’s so girlboss of him

THANK YOU BATO FOR BEARING THE BRUNT IF HAKODAS ACCIDENTAL HOMOPHOBIA SO SOKKA DOESNT HAVE TO SUFFER ANY MORE THAN HE ALREADY HAS YOURE DOING THE LORDS WORK TRULY

idk how you intended this to be read but I’m picturing hakoda saying “no.. not the watch tower” like this:

but also not hakoda doing reconnaissance on zukka-

yes sokka when it’s a question of how information gets spread the answer is always fucking reho (and I love him for that how else is anyone supposed to get anything done with everyone else being too emotionally constipated to talk to each other)

I cannot express to you how fucking frustrated I am by the communication being compromised bc of the fucking dai li bc ykw??? it’s such an incredible plot point by you since it is 100% in character for the dai li to interrupt messages bUT I HATE IT SO MUCH I’m literally going to have the time of my life when Somebody finally gets a clue about what’s going on

lmao katara something really did happen after you left but lucky for you it was a good thing!! and a bad thing bc everything always goes to shit but oh wellllll

katara you moron why did you tell them you’re leaving T-T

uh yeah no I can promise you jet is anything BUT bored jet is scheming jet is raging jet is challenging firebenders to duals he can’t win JET IS MAKING FRIENDS (well one friend and he doesn’t want to admit they’re friends but reho still counts)

oh fuck. jet you’ve really done it now.

BUT ALSO I FUCKING CALLED IT I KNEW ZUKO WOULD LEAVE JUST IN TIME IM SCREAMING THE STARS ARE ALIGNING THE PLOT US UNFOLDING THE DAI LIS PLANS ARE RUINED

oh hakoda I love how smart you are we really need a good tactician and here you are saving the day <3

also quon is a fuckinf asshole I hope he gets decked at some point xx (but it’s kinda a slay too that he just has so much audacity like it’s honestly lowkey impressive ngl)

yes bato act dumb and pretty we fully support lying and trickery in this household

also I’m placing my bets on zuko returning at the most inconvenient time in the most dramatic way possible fyi (and I’m going to eat it up bc I live for dramatic zuko)

uh yeah jet bby you’re definitely ashamed of what you did hate to break it to you HOWEVER I really do get why jet did do what he did bc he’s traumatised and also a teenager and so he was never going to think maturely and rationally (which like yes obvi that means he caused the problem BUT ALSO it’s not his fault he’s problematic) I just really need him to get some therapy dude

OKAY can I just say I love you showing toph as being affectionate outside of playful physical aggression?? it’s been ages since I’ve read a fic where toph has shown some form of affection that hasn’t been a punch in the arm! and I feel like that’s so important bc in the show most of the female characters are insanely talented in the art of combat and so often they then get reduce to Just being aggressive (like toph) or being overly emotional (like katara which is super ironic considering the ember island players tragic performance and how that was supposed to actively argue against katara being so one dimensional) WHEN REALLY they ARE BOTH tough and have feelings bc they’re literally human beings

yeah I have many opinions oops

I FEEL SO VINDICATED I LOVE YOU KATARA AND YOUR BIG SMART BRAIN she’s such a good actor my heart is squeezing in satisfaction oh lordy

shit. appa. fuck. goddamnit. REALLY?

omg this is so not gonna happen but imagine if zuko turned up in ba sing se and then all communication Issues are solved and he can help find appa like in the show :D

well not all communication issues but a fuck ton of them

YES RASU he’s such an icon I actually love him with my whole entire heart my flirty baby boy

lmao zuko had a crush on rasu

same.

shit. idk why but it’s so jarring to have be explicitly said that zukos death (even tho it’s fake news) is a casualty of war. like OBVIOUSLY but to have it put so bluntly is like damn. it’s like as a casualty of war, it matters fuck all that he was a prince or why he was hunting the avatar and everything that made (makes) him integral to the war effort bc in reality he really just is another kid who died in the war. and then THAT just makes you think, yeah he’s not all that special because the horrific reality is that so many people were casualties of the war and while they’re anonymous numbers on a large scale, in life they Mattered and now it’s all for naught. jesus crispy sreedie you’ve really got me grieving

FUCK YEHA QUON IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE HES DISMISSING JETS INTEL ALL BY HIMSELF THIS IS A WIN TEAM

sokkaaaa now is not the time to be bad at readying facial cues T-T

aang has so much more emotional maturity than people give him credit for fr. like there’s no way in hell I would’ve been able to regulate my emotions half as well as aang when I was 12 even WITHOUT factoring in the genocide of his nation

holy shit reho DESERVES SO MUCH FUCKING LOVE I WILL PERSONALLY FIGHT EVERYONE WHO DARES TO INSULT HIM AFTER THIS

also he’s so fucking wise “evil people don’t only belong to one nation, they are everywhere” LIKE PREACH they really fucking are war provides a platform for the worst people to shine

real talk if shen dies I’m gonna be devastated

ohoho nice like fic name drop right here

omg not zuko popping up at the MOST convenient time in the least dramatic way possible??? shocked but also not surprised bc it’s making perfect sense narrative wise

wheezing at zuko being consistently unpredictable bc ykw the only reason nobody can figure out what he’s planning is bc my boy simply does not have one!! ever!! and it’s legend behaviour actually I think it might be the reason he’s my fav character

okay okay okay at least sokka and zuko have bato with them for child wrangling purposes bc they need an adult. but oh no hakoda is aloooone

zuko you dumbass motherfucker did you just SURRENDER YOURSELF

ykw I take back what I said about him never having a plan being my fav thing about him I have come to my senses and have reconsidered.

ZUKKA KISS??? it’s tragic.

it’s so fucked up that ara and sokka are gonna become friends again bc their bfs got taken hostage but I’m here for it

HOLY FUCK SHIT YEAH SUKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

MAI AND TY-LEE OMG MY GIRLS ALL MY GIRLS ARE COMING ITS HAPPENING ITS NOT A DRILL OMG SREEDIE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IM GOING FERAL

A Z U L A

okay so obviously appa is under lake lagoli right

and yes I’m very relieved that shen and zuko are together at least BC NOW WE CAN GET SOME MORE QUALITY BANTER AND THATS ENOUGH COMPENSATION FOR THE TRAUMA RIGHT

RIGHT??

reunion soon :3

anyways why did I think this would actually end okay with zukka and bato off frolicking to ba sing se?? how am I that delusional?? it’s like I don’t know you

I HOPE YOU TAKE A REFRESHING NAP AND RECOVER FROM THIS DOOZY OF A FINALE BUT ALSO I AM WAITING IN ANXIOUS ANTICIPATION FOR THE NEXT BOOK ITS GOING TO BE THE LONGEST AND MOST HORRIFIC JOURNEY TO A ZUKKA REUNION EVER AND I CANNOT WAIT also bc you don’t write zuko pov that means we’re gonna get a lot more shen pov?? which I think will be really fun so that’s exciting too

LOVE YOU TO BITS AND PIECES

leekie <3

OH MY GOSH, if you keep flirting with me we might just have to tear up our divorce papers and move in together.

Hahah Hakoda’s reaction to the watchtower is exactly how I envisioned it. Sarcastic & pretend shock lol.

Katara’s honesty is finally catching up with her, getting her in trouble with the Dai Li that is. But she is a strong girl and she can hold her own, I know she’ll be ok!

Ok I love that you brought up toph because sometimes I feel like fics make her out to be a lie detecting, punching, sarcastic person and just leave it at that. But she is so much more than that, all the female characters are! I hope I can do them justice.

Zuko does have a plan!!! “Don’t let Sokka get hurt” - that’s it, that’s the plan. Haha.

I hope Shen doesn’t die… but also, I can’t make any promises.

SUKI IS ON THE WAY TO HELP SOKKA!!! & azula is on the way to bomb him lol.

Im sure it’ll be fine, I love you! You’re amazing. But I also hate you because we are divorced and GRRRRRRR, but secretly we’re still hooking up and it pretty obvious but shhhh don’t tell anyone. ;)

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m1d-45 · 10 months

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im not teddy anon lol that someone else

in my defense about not fully leveling my units and having lower talents

i focus more on artifact farming and i pretty much have nearly every person on my account built

so usually ill take them to 80/90 with 6 6 6 talents, and if they go further than that is because i needed the extra boost for abyss (eula is an exception bc i was waiting for her for so long lol)

and honestly the only triple crowned units i have are kuki and faruzan, and eventually layla when i have to time to farm mora bc i am too broke to pay the fees for her last two crowns rn lmao

kuki build (for hyperbloom with haitham but she technically has like 10 different builds lol perks of being my first triple crowned unit)

and faruzan build (mostly burst based and since shes c6 her burst means her autos and skill also do more damage)

honestly thats fair, that was mostly just me Copin- also c6 kuki man i wish that was me (<- runs her as healer and not a driver for anything)

mood on the mora (i’m trying to keep myself above 12mil but at the same time tryin to fix my kaeya and LORD-) and can you please save some luck for the rest of us i am struggling- i have a bunch of half finished / just functional builds cause i have such bad luck (and am trying for the spiral abyss i swear (<- has yet to attempt level 12)) but that + mora + the fact that i refuse to put logic into my teams and just run Whatever Feels Fun™️ means i am strugglingTM. the only solid build is maybe heizou and that’s a miracle in and of itself (i run kazuha main dps heizou has been off field for ages why does he have such good stuff blease hyv)

#m1d : [chats]#my bad again on the tags byw #btw*. fixed em on the first post #i wanna be funny here but on god all. all i can think about is the rule of threes #yeah i’m ok (lyin)

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readyandnot · 2 years

Text

hbs ranking and reactions to sam w/ @morgansplace :))

MORGAN-

1. Sam

2. Lasko

3. Geordi

4. Asher

5. Milo

6. Gavin

7. Damien & Huxley

8. Vincent

9. David

ME-

sam

damien and huxley

milo

vincent

geordi

lasko

gavin

asher

david

our reactions are down here lol

r is me m is morgan

m- OMGOMGOGMGOMG

r-“hold your damn horses" SAM

YOU COWBOY

m-SAM MY LOVE I MISSED YOU

r-AHHHHHHH MY LOVEEEEE

r-“ acting like you haven't seen all of me" omg-

m- OH MY GOD

r- I WILL WHISTLE AT YOU

m- HAHAHHAHAHA YES

r- MANS IS BLUSHINGGG

YOU ARE FLUSTERED

m- YES YOU ARE LMAO

m- my god i missed him so much

r- me toooooo

r- THE FIRST DARLIN LETS GOOOOO

m- AHHHHHH

r- “now hush” make me-

m- NIGHT SWIM <33

r- “nocturnal inclinations” why he speaking like avior

m- IM IN LOVE WITH HIS VOICE

r- HIS LAUGHHHHH

m- KISSESSSS

r- kisses <33

r-“you're a hella of a sight yourself darlin" sam-

please-

marry me

m- sam, c'mon, please

*sam gets in the water*

m-OH?

r-AYO

m- I PANICKED

r- that’s not the only thing wet- i’m not sorry.

m- LMAOOO YOU SHOULDNT BE

m- SMOOTH FINISH FROM NEW SOUTHERN

FLAVOR I LOVE THAT

r-“oh yeah? good luck” FUCK OMG

m-oh 😳

r- I WILL DUNK YOU BOI

LETS GO

m- Sam 1v1 you and me

I lose, let's go

r- oh? what's the reward if we win-

r- more kissesssss:))

m- I LOVE THEM SM: (

r-his whispers fuck me

m-HAJDIAJFUADJ LMAO

r-true Imao

m-you forgot the,

I'm a comedian

r-BAHHAHAHAHHA

m-I AM NOT SORRY

m- Sam was a poet in another life

r-they are soulmates i'm crying

they're so cute

m-I'M SO SOFT

as always

How did this ended

Being

Nsfw

*sam mentions riding solo*

r- i love riding you-

IM NOT WRONG

m- NO YOU ARE NOT.

m-HIS LAUGH <3333

r- AHHHHH<33 I LOVE HIS LAUGH

r- awwww vincent :))

YAYYYYY LOVELY MENTION

m- I LOVE WHEN THEY MENTION OTHER CHARACTERS

LETS GOOOOOOOO

*sam talking about vampire life*

r- why does this feel like foreshadowing

r- VIN AND SAMMMMM THEYRE BROTHERS YOUR HONOR

m- :(((( THEYRE FAMILY

r-"family takes care of each other" i'm soft

m-FOUND FAMILY IS THE BEST

m-:(@($(@*$£!*$ SOFT MOMENT ALLERT

ALERT

r-you don't need to thank me :((

"too bad darlin" fuck i can't resist that

m-you can step on me and I'll say sorry

r-YOURE NOT LIMITING ME MY SLEEP

SCHEDULES FUCKED ANYWAY

r-cut him off with kiss!!!!

m-KISSESSS LET'S GO

m-:( GOD HE'S SO SWEET

r-SAM YOU SENTIMENTAL SWEETIE

MORE KISSES WE ARE SPOILED

m-I'm already nervous and they're just talking

m-Please help

r-THERE IT IS

m-OH??AYO???

r-busy in what way-

m-all of them

m-“nothing just”

FUCK ME GOD

m-AAAAA IM SO SOFT

r-“having you in my arms after dancing around each

other this long" SAMMMM

r-“the lingering touches and knowing glances" omg

m-I'm soft.

and I'm-

Stop.

r-“the trust" umm i'm dead

m-MY GOD

r- “steady" SAAAAAM

m-THAT'S SO SWEET

r-“presenting more than feeling, with you it's real"

AWWWWW

THATS SO RELATABLE

SAAAAAAAM

m-THWWHISPERRS

r-omg the parallels with him and vincent saying "it's a

gift

m-Imnotg-

m-IAMFIAMFOAKFLAFKKSFJJAD><

r-ily so much OMG

m-PLEASE HELTP

r-YES I AM GETTING HANDSY

r-HOW COULD I NOT

m-OH MY GOD

r-yeah yeah shut up and kiss

DEFINITELY ROAMING

m-Yeah less talking more kissing

r-omg he's starting to moan

m-AND I'M STARTING TO COLLAPSE

r-“don't get mad get even" YESSSSS

m-That's the official phrase of the channel

r-HARD TO RESIST FUCK

m-I'm asthmatic it's not fun if I say I CAN'T BREATHE

LAMDOAMFOKAFKANF

r- BODY PRAISE

m- AY DIOS MIO

kink kink moment

r-“oh lord" THERE IT ISSS

m-Where's my oh my god darlin, mhmm????

r-"every curve and line pressing back into my touch"

fuck

r”Whiskey heat" AYOOOO

m-SIX MINUTES STILL??? OH MY GOD

r-WHAT

I CALLED IT

WHAT FID I FUCKING TELL YOU

"fuck darlin" I TOLD YOU

m-GOD

SEER

m-YOU'RE A FUCKING SEER

Oh my god

r-“just like that" FUCK

I CALLED THAT TOO OMFG

m-sam fuck me please

r-"i wanna kiss and touch and taste every inch of this

god damn body of yours" PLEASEEEE

m- You can, by the way

no feeding? :( IPREFER THE FEEDI-

r-“you set my senses on fire" well i sure hope so

r-“you make me ache" PARALLELS WITH VINCENT

m-AYOOO SAMM

r-HOLY FUCK

m- 😳💗👁™️🎤😰👐🏻📸🦴😯™️👁‼️™️🙇‍♂️👑🦴🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻👐🏻👐🏻👐🏻👐🏻👐🏻

that’s a cry for help

morse code

r-GET THE DAMN TRUNKS OFF

omg his moans-

“you keep bucking like that, and i might just have to

take you up on the offer" yes.

r-“yeah i didn't think so"

OMG

MORGAN

m-AJImf aadj

WHAFO

r-"Oh god almighty" HOLY SHIT

m- AYUDA ME MATO

r-HIS FUCKING MOANA

m- M ACABO DE MORIR

r-“ i stay hooked on you" fuck me

"oh yeah" SAM

m-YES

SAMUEL COLLINS PLEASE FUCK ME

r-SLIDE IT OFF

m-If you don't do it I will

r-“ i wanna feel all of you against me" fucking hell

r-TAKE IT OFF

GETTING EVEN GETTING FUCKED MORE LIKE

m-I SWEAR TO GOD THIS MAN IS KILLING ME

UAJDJAJDJADJAJDJAJS

r-“sweet jesus darlin"

m-SWEET JESUS

LMAO

OH MY GOD

r-samuel collins- fuck me at this address at this time,

don't be late sincerely, everyone

#redacted asmr #redacted sam

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thegeminisage · 11 months

Text

im in kakariko and WAH koko and cottla still pray to their mom every day and their dad joins them...but they can't get to the actual cemetery bc of the ruins >:( and "rpincess zelda" said not to go near them. it is driving me crazy that i cant so this quest!!

i googled and apparently this quest involves the business with the Fifth Sage so i have to hold off for now :/ SUUUUCKS gonna collect some korok seeds and then find something else to do

oh wow that interactive map got a BIG upgrade. i can just ask it where certain items are now lol

I FOUND? THEIR MOMS? JOURNAL??? oh my god in the kakariko well.......

she had a garden down here 😭 she lists all their favorite foods......

theres a korok seed at the cemetery, so i went the long way around and left a silent princess for her. i'm gonna come back and get the rest later when the main quest takes me here

i knew there'd have to be a fifth sage, but a whole quest AND dungeon...that's pretty amazing!! i wonder if we get a 5th companion...zelda as a ghost companion would be SICK but i know nintendo would Never

ive decided to attempt to investigate the faron thunderstorm. wish me luck

THUNDERHEAD ISLES.......this is so cool. i can't see shit <3

also all of my bows & weapons rn are metal...oops lol

whoooa the music here.........

when i say i cant see shit i mean i REALLY. cant see shit. even the depths is better than this, at least there you can use brightbloom seeds

i found a flux construct but i CANT SEE LOL and i dont have any nonmetal weapons worth any damage...im doing it blind while only switching to goo weapons when im actually attacking sdlfjghsdfjkg girl HELLLP

GOT HIMMMMM wow im a BEAST

i used the shadows and the LAST of my stamina to make it to ??? dragonhead island ??? WHICH I STILL CAN'T SEE

there's gotta be some trick to clearing or navigating the storm but i dont wanna google it in case its like...THE SIXTH SAGE,

FUCK IT LITERALLY IS A FITH SAGE THING I HATE THIS GAME LOL

ok. fucking hell. im leaving. is there ANYTHING interesting im allowed to do rn. jesus

from now on im just going to assume that if i suddenly hear cool music im not supposed to be here.

landed in the horse god lake and caught that big stallion. named it yeto in honor of the big white abominable snowman in tp salute emoji

this well has a bubbulfrog inside it ??????

where the FUCK am i going theres a whole ass cave system down here

another ancient blade.......

KOMO SHORELINE? what in GODS NAME

fine ok i can work with this. jesus.

actually no i can't. it's raining and i don't want to climb all this shit nor do i want to tangle with electric lizalfos. i swear to god

ok. back to the stable.

oh flute boy!! i forgot about him. i guess he must be part of the band. luckily this time i have his fireflies...

AWWW the glowing tree was so cute and pretty

ok, feeling more prepared for komo shoreline now. luckily there's not much here anyway...

PHANTOM HELMET. NICE

NO!!!!!! a fucking BLOOD MOON while i was attacking this electric lizalfos camp!!! COME ONNNNN

i survived but god one of the lizalfos got glitched and there WASN'T. even a treasure chest over here. good fucking lord

i found my first above-ground lynel......and it's silver. this is what i get for waiting so long to seek them out...

omg my ancient arrow sent him to eeby deeby. im reloading tho idw waste it on that

okay so. he is hitting, very, hard,

i can't climb a tree either cuz he can Get me

okay. well! i died. clearly outmatched. i need.........better armor. i am so TIIIIRRRED of getting my ass kicked!!!!

for better or worse i'm in the chasm on the island next to hyrule castle. i figure it's probably an isolated place since. yk. island. reeeally wish i could find a lightroot tho

A FROX....SICK

blue-white frox. less sick. im gonna die again :(

omg i GOT HIM!!! n*ce

i cheated and peeked at the map...theres literally nothing else down here lmao not even a lightroot. im gonna go...somewhere else!! but later. i have to take a break now for food chores etc ive been playing for hours

#personal #loz blogging #totk lb #totk spoilers

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summerwritesfics · 2 years

Text

⛓️Father, Did You Miss Me?

Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Kuai Liang Length: 2496 Words Rating: Explicit 🔞 Warnings: Supernatural/Modern AU, Priest!Kuai Liang, Demon!Hanzo Hasashi, Priest Kink, Deepthroating, Prostate Massage, Crying, Cathoclicism, Confessional, Catholic Imagery, Catholicism but make it sexy, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, Coming Untouched, Size Difference Kinktober Day 10: Priest Kink + Deepthroating + Prostate Massage + Crying

Kinktober Masterlist

Notes: I’ve had this ongoing little AU in my head for a few years that I think I’ve posted snippet to my WIP tag on tumblr, but basically it’s an AU where Kuai is a priest, and Hanzo is a demon lord who asks Kuai for sex in exchange for his help hunting down and wrangling escaped demons. Of course, it doen’t stay just sex and they fall in 💕love💕 Because this is me lol. This basically belongs to that AU and maybe one day I’ll actually finish my WIP’s and do more with it lol Hanzo calling Kuai “Father” is the closest I’ll ever get to writing daddy kink lmao Again sorry if this isn’t at my usual standard, I’ve had an awful day. Nothing extremely wild or interesting, just bad. But y’know what they say about us AO3 Authors, we could be on our deathbed and still be posting. 🙃 Title is from “Going To Hell” by The Pretty Reckless.

“Father, did you miss me?”

Hanzo enjoyed the sigh from the other side of the confessional booth.

“Good evening Lord Hasashi,” Kuai Liang softly spoke through the grating. “Forgive me for being so upfront but may I ask why you’re here? I highly doubt your intending to confess your sins, given you are already a Lord of Hell.”

Hanzo chuckled, “Alway’s to the point, Father Song.” Hanzo listened to the man on the other side of the wooden box. There was a rustle but nothing more. “We have a deal, Father, I hope you have not forgotten that.”

Kuai made a confused noise, before saying, “no, I haven’t but forgive me Lord Hasashi I do not seem to recall being in your debt currently.”

“You aren’t,” Hanzo assured him, leaning back and inspecting his claws. “It has merely been a while since our last meeting, and I wanted to be assured that you remember our agreement.”

“You are surprisingly needy for a Demon Lord, you do know that?” Kuai sighed again as Hanzo laughed.

He wasn’t needy, not really, but he did find himself enjoying Kuai’s company and did rather miss him when they did not see each other for a while. Sometimes, demons escaped Hell so often it meant they spent weeks together. But times like this, when everyone seemed to actually want to behave? Well, Hanzo guessed he should be thankful he didn’t have to do much more extra work, but instead he found himself bitter that he didn’t get to see his favourite priest as much as he’d like.

He watched as Kuai’s shadow moved behind the shutter, he heard a door open and the shadow was gone. Seconds later the door of his booth came open and Kuai stood on the other side, with a hand on his hip and looking as gorgeous as ever. Hanzo always did have a thing for the holy, but Kuai Liang was something else.

“What exactly do you want for assurance?” Kuai asked, holding out his hand to help Hanzo to his feet. Hanzo didn’t need it, and given their size difference, it wouldn’t effect much, but he appreciated the gesture.

“Well,” Hanzo purred as he took Kuai’s hand and stood up. Once standing, he placed his hand on Kuai’s cheek and pushed his thumb against Kuai’s lips. “I had a few ideas.”

“You’re in luck, I am about to retire from my duties for the night,” Kuai claimed, raising an eyebrow. “But I get the feeling you already knew that.” Kuai pulled away and crossed his arms. “Just how long exactly have you been waiting for me to finish, Lord Hasashi?”

“Roughly 40 minutes,” Hanzo replied as he saw Kuai’s eyes rolls. He turned away and began to walk back into the centre of the church, Hanzo following behind like a lost puppy. “Forgive me Father, I just enjoy watching you dole out God’s will.” Even with Kuai’s back to him, Hanzo could imagine the frown on his face from the knowledge someone was listening in. “Although, that woman having an affair with her gardener-“

“Lord Hasashi, I do hope you aren’t trying to get me to break my vows and gossip with you about the members of this church.” He looked over his shoulder slightly, just as they got to the door to the private back of the church. “We may have arrangements, but I still have my duty.”

“Very well,” Hanzo replied, watching Kuai open the door before they both made it inside. “But hypothetically if you didn’t have your duty, would you say her husband really was having an affair first?”

“Oh absolutely,” Kuai said without hesitation. “With her sister.” Kuai turned around with a weirdly gleeful smile on his face. “And the sister’s pregnant, and wishes to keep the child.”

Hanzo blinked a few times. “Right well, once I’m done fucking your brain’s out you are going to have to tell me that full story.”

Kuai gave a small cheeky smile. For as much as Kuai liked to pretend he was above such things, Hanzo definitely got the juiciest stories of mortal sins from him. Maybe in some way, it was a form of release. It must be hard to have to listen to everything someone’s done to harm others all day.

Hanzo looked around the room. It was about as plain as it always was, Kuai really was not one for material possessions. Something about that upset Hanzo sometimes, if only because Kuai deserved far more than he allowed himself to have. Kuai’s selflessness was admirable, but Hanzo worried it might turn out to be his downfall.

One day, Hanzo would convince Kuai Liang to forgo his faith, and whisk him down to hell, where Hanzo could spoil him for all eternity.

He knew that wouldn’t happen any time soon however, but Hanzo was a patient demon. He could wait as long as it took.

Kuai sat on the edge of the bed, putting his hands on his lap and tilting his head.

“So, Lord Hasashi, how exactly do you want me?” He asked innocently, smiling softly like he was about to sing a sweet hymn rather than do sinful things with a demon.

I want you in so many ways, Hanzo thought the words he could never say aloud. In those fantasies where he took Kuai away, he thought so long about all the ways he wanted Kuai. But he couldn’t do them all right now.

“On your back, head off the bed, clothes on,” Hanzo ordered. As much as he loved Kuai naked, there was something he liked about doing things while Kuai was still in his robes. There was something so blasphemous about it, and while Hanzo really had no qualms with Kuai’s God, the influence of the underworld made him delight in the way he perverted it.

“As you wish.” Kuai swung his legs around onto the bed, and he scooted himself into the centre of the bed. As he went to lie down, he made sure his head hung off the side, his hands gripping onto his sheets in anticipation.

Hanzo approached, gripping his belt and waiting until he was in front of Kuai’s face to pull it away. He dropped his trousers enough for his cock to be revealed. He always enjoyed the way Kuai swallowed thickly whenever he saw it. His breathing quickened, and he opened his mouth wide in preparation. Hanzo brought his cock towards those lips and started to push in.

Kuai’s lips clamped around his cock, and Hanzo felt his tongue circle the head of his cock. Continuing forward, Hanzo pushed in slowly so not to overwhelm Kuai and make him gag. As much as he loved to have Kuai screaming, he preferred it to be from pleasure than pain. He never wanted to do anything to hurt him.

His cock hit the back of his mouth, only three quarters of the way in. He did pull back, before feeding himself back in, this time going a little further. Kuai did gag a little, causing Hanzo to pause and let him get used to it.

“Easy, Father,” Hanzo soothed, reaching down to stroke Kuai’s throat. “Just relax for me.”

Kuai gurgled in agreement, and Hanzo watched as his grip on the sheets increased. Hanzo attempted to go further. Keeping his hand on his throat, the deeper he went, the more he started to feel his cock bulging out from under Kuai’s skin. He removed the hand to admire it. It was always impressive just how much Kuai could take.

“You’re doing so well,” Hanzo whispered, as he made a final push to get his entire length inside. He could see Kuai’s hands clenching. “Sh, almost there, just a little more.” And with that, his entire cock was inside, and he could make out the outline. “There we are. Perfect. You take me so wonderfully.”

Kuai purred again, swallowing around Hanzo’s cock. Hanzo began to pull back, watching the bulge travel with it. He only pulled out until he was at the end of Kuai’s throat before testing the water with a hard thrust. Kuai’s body jolted, brighting his legs up at the knees, but otherwise didn’t react. He gave another thrust, seeing if that would be better. This time Kuai did not react, letting his legs drop flat again, although his hands still clenched at the sheets.

He brought his hand back against Kuai’s throat, pushing down slightly as he began to thrust in a slow but hard rhythm. He loved being able to feel the way Kuai’s body yielded to him. Regardless of it was Kuai’s throat or his stomach, he loved being able to see himself inside his beloved priest.

“You are so perfect,” Hanzo growled between his thrusts. “I just adore you.” He pulled his hands away, and just watched. “You are wasted on your God.” Kuai groaned around his cock, cut off when Hanzo pushed in as far as he could go. “So pretty, so good for me. Too good for these sinful heathens.”

He gave one last hard thrust, before he felt himself released right down Kuai’s throat. He could feel Kuai swallowing, and after a few more thrusts to make sure he was done, Hanzo finally pulled out. As he did, saliva pooled out of Kuai’s mouth, dripping down his face. It was enough for Hanzo to almost miss the tears in Kuai’s eyes.

Almost.

“Oh, Snowflake,” Hanzo whispered, reaching for Kuai’s torso to bring him up. “I’m sorry, are you hurt?” Kuai panted heavily, choosing to shake his head in reply. “You are crying.”

As Hanzo brought his hand to Kuai’s face, wiping away a tear that was rolling down his cheek, he replied with “O-Overwhelmed.”

“Why did you not try to stop me?” Hanzo questioned. He understood that verbally Kuai was incapable, but if he’d brought a hand up and tried to push Hanzo away he’d have gotten the message.

Kuai coughed a few times, bringing his hand up to try and wipe away his spit and tears. “G-Good overwhelmed.”

Ah. That made Hanzo feel better. He trusted that Kuai would have told him if it wasn’t good for him. Hanzo brushed his hair out of his face.

“My poor, sweet father.” He pushed Kuai to lay down on the bed with one hand, reaching across for a vial of oil. “I have been so selfish.” He grabbed onto Kuai’s trousers, roughly pulling them down and causing a short “eep” to escape Kuai’s lips. “Allow me to make it up to you.”

He poured the oil onto one of his fingers, taking no time to begin pushing it into his hole. Kuai gasped, squirming slightly and Hanzo pressed his other hand against his chest to still him. He began to feel around with that single digit, not stopping until it brushed against a spot that had Kuai gasping.

He chuckled, removing his hand to pour oil onto his second finger before letting it slip inside Kuai too. He immediately went back to that spot, pushing down and watching the way Kuai shuddered. He adjusted himself so he was majority towering above Kuai. He continued to press against that spot, rubbing around in circles and watching more tears gathering in Kuai’s eyes.

“Is that nice?” He asked, pressing down particularly hard and watching the way Kuai’s hard cock twitched against his stomach. He chuckled and said, “Good.”

“M-My Lord,” Kuai spluttered, bringing his hands up to Hanzo’s shoulders. He continued to move his fingers in circles, watching as Kuai’s back arched off the bed and Hanzo felt fingernails dig into his shoulders. “A-Ah, Please.”

“You always get so overwhelmed by pleasure, don’t you?” Hanzo lent down to kiss Kuai deeply. As he did, he paused his movements. “For all your church loves to talk of sin, the only truly sinful thing is that this has been denied from you for so long.”

“I- ah-“ Kuai shuddered again, his eyes screwing shut. “I knew t-that would be a sacrifice I’d have to make.”

“You give up so much of yourself for people who do not truly care for you.” Kuai looked liked he was about to argue against that, but Hanzo stopped him with another kiss. As he pulled back he said, “the second I asked for you as my payment, your church threw you at me like a lamb to a pack of wolves.” Granted, Hanzo was ever thankful for them doing so, but that didn’t excuse the potential danger they could have put Kuai into. “Your God cares for you, I can tell, I can feel his holy energy protect you. But they do not. For all they knew I could have done anything to you.”

“But you didn’t,” Kuai argued. He trailed his hand up to Hanzo’s face, stroking his cheek. “And I have faith that my Church and God knew you would not harm me.”

“You are so naïve, Father Song.” It wasn’t Kuai’s fault. Hanzo had no doubt that Kuai was favoured by his god, but he doubted his church cared for him as much. Kuai was lucky it was Hanzo whom the church made a deal with, and not some other demon lord. He could imagine with more than a few who would not have been as kind or gentle with him. They would have torn Kuai apart, and taken everything from him regardless of what he wanted.

“Maybe,” Kuai whispered, a faint smile on his lips. “But is that not part of why you love me?”

Hanzo didn’t reply, just pressed his fingers down in a way that made Kuai buck, and second’s later, he came. It squirted up onto his robes, the pearly white standing out against the black fabric. Kuai lay panting on the bed, looking up as Hanzo as if he were the entire world.

And Hanzo did love him. Truly. Even if he feared ever admitting it aloud. He had too many enemies, too many people who would use his attachment against him. He vowed Kuai would always be safe with him, he could not allow anyone to harm him.

“So, are you sated Lord Hasashi,” Kuai purred, in a tone so sultry it was hard to believe it was coming from a holy man. “Or do you require more assurance?”

“I may do,” Hanzo answered with a grin. “It may take me all night.”

“So long as I get a chance to rest every once in a while,” Kuai began, letting his body go loose and spreading himself open, “my body is yours for as long as you require it.”

Hanzo let out a growl, he could feel that he’d gotten hard again. He lent down to capture Kuai in a passionate kiss, lining himself up with the priests entrance, swallowing his moan as he began to push inside.

It would definitely take a few more times for him to be satisfied.

#mortal kombat #subscorp #kuai liang #sub zero #hanzo hasashi #scorpion #⛓️kinktober 2022

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stormhearty · 2 months

Note

Hello again, haha :)

Good luck and good work to you! I haven't read Eris's yet, just the reader's and Tarquin's (which I loved). Let's modernize it! Cass😳🙀 ah, I'm fine! It's been a bit of a slog, but today is Sunday and I've taken the opportunity to rest a bit (sleep😂).

I've never read a manwha, but it sounds good. An inspiring manwha! LOL. A recommendation of your favorite?

It's a wonder she's not dead yet. She needs to go to the police station and report him for abandoning a child🤣🤣

Maybe you need to see if the books on your to-read list are also discounted (just to check). Lmao. Well, I'm helping, since you said you have a goal of reading more!

The Narnia books give me the impression that they're much better than the movies! I'll read them one day!

A tag just for me? I feel so adorable! An emoji tag? I love ducks 🦆, or could it be a name? Emerald, because I love green things. So undecided. I could be a parrot soon, since I talk more than I should because my thoughts are always racing and I'm also racing to keep up with them so I don't forget. Make up your mind!

Don't worry, I know how working as a nurse takes up a lot of time and I'd be in bed until I had to go back to work too. I understand😹 I'm studying for today's lesson and I've jumped at the chance to come here hehe. Thank you! I love expressing my opinion, especially if it's about something I like. YES! Ms. SJM should explain a bit more about the other courts. I confess I'd like to see a bit more of the Autumnal Court(?) I don't know why, but I'd like to see more about Eris and the place my dear Lucien had to leave. I also confess that part of my curiosity is to get to know more about Eris, because, amazingly, I have a crush on him after reading a few things here! (Even though I know the poor guy barely has any screen time. Judge me) LMAO. I think a lot of fans were expecting this🤣🤣 let's make a protest for Tarquin to appear more. Maybe Helion too! Bring them all!!!😂😳 Note: Before I felt more mysterious without emoji, but I love it. I feel mysterious with a brand now😘 🦆

Sorry for the broken responses though! And I decided to just put together both of your asks~ It might be easier for me to reply to both!

And thank you! I do hope you enjoy the Eris one! It's very angsty~ Yup! I am having a difficult time with the Modern!Cassian one though~ More like always having difficulty starting it but that's a me problem.

And that's me the past few days. It was my weekend at work and all I did was lay in bed attempting to get some sleep. As usual. And then yesterday I had dinner with coworkers it was fun, that's why I haven't been able to reply to anything the last few days.

My favorite manwha reads (some are finished, some are on hiatus and some are ongoing):

Finished:

Who Made Me a Princess (this is a must to read)

Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion

The First Night with the Duke

Flirting with the Villain's Dad

Ongoing:

Villains Are Destined to Die

A Stemother's Marchen

How to Win My Husband Over

The Siren: Becoming the Villain's Family

I Married the Male Lead's Dad

The Dark Lord's Confession

Hiatus:

Secret Lady

Roxana (How to Protect the Main Lead's Older Brother)

The Villainess is a Marionette

Into the Light, Once Again

The Archduke's Adopted Saint

I can't list all of them because it'd be so much! There are many manwha's I have dropped over the years because it got really boring or I lost interest.

But I actually own already LOTR and Narnia books! The Narnia was a behemoth of a book since it was the compilation of all the books. So I have to lug that thing around when I have to read it 🤣🤣 And they are! I did just love the actors for the movie version of Narnia.

Well, I think it has been touched on here on Tumblr that Autumn Court has so many hidden secrets and the betrayal and all that stuff, the secret affairs. It sounds so spicy compared to everywhere else. And SAME! I was in love with Eris even though he barely had any scenes. And our boi, Lucien~

Oh my god. If Rhysand wasn't Feyre's mate I would have so petitioned for Tarquin to be with her. LMAO.

Mysterious with a brand~ my duckie nonnie~

#( .🦆 anon )#( .asks )#( .nikki ramblings )

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thelovelybitten · 10 months

Text

vera’s first watch of south park — season five (part 1)

lfg babes i’m bored so lets watch

EPISODE 1:

LETS GO NEW SEASONNNNNN

KEPT THE BANGER INTRO YES WOOOOTTT

there’s a shit counter HAHAH LETS SEE HOW THIS GOES LMAO

BUTTERS VANDALIZING THE WALL

but tbh he slayed it

EVERYONE EXCITED ABT THE FUCKING SHIT LINE I CAN’T

kyle: i don’t give a fuck (SO REAL)

NOT THE CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HAHAH

huh ?? raining frogs ???

timmy SAID IT LETS GO

kyle is abt TO BLOW UP

sand in the vagina — cartman will not let him go

GARRISON NOT THE F SLUR

S H I T

what the fuck are these the seven deadly sins or sumth

cartman and his shirt LMAO

okay KYLE POP AWF he’s my smart bby boy

shit…twice, BFFR

chef helping the core four solve this stuff KING SHIT

CARTMAN STOP

no NOT KENNY ANYONE BUT KENNY PLS

okay who the fuck is this guy

no kenny looks so sick :’(

oh WHAT THE HELL

a rune ??? okay

LAS VEGASSSSS LET’S GOOOO

GANDALF???

MEECROB OH MY GOD CARTMAN WAS RIGHT

JIMBO IS A HOMOSEXUAL INTERESTING

shit counter thru the roof

not A WHOLE ASS DRAGON

CARTMAN LET IT GO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

KYLE PREACHING 2 THE GOSPEL ICONIC

oh that was fucking feral i did not need to see all of kenny’s intestines

interesting ep

EPISODE 2:

FIRST NIGHT OF SCOUTS ?????

yO STAN THAT WAS OUTTA POCKET

timmy being strapped onto the back of the pickup

BUTTERS

KENNY AND STAN’S DAD ARE SHOOK

JIMMYYYYYY

give timmy his spotlight pls

well. last season he got it so ig give jimmy it

not the homophobia….

OKAY JIMMY POP OFF

JIMMY PLEASE NOT THE PLAN B JOKE

TIMMY BEING ROBBED BUT I LOVE JIMMY

BIG SILLY GOOSE

YOU DO NOT SAY BIG SILLY GOOSE— YOU CALL HIM AN ASSHOLE LIKE A NORMAL KID

but dad, i was just trying to—

STANLEY YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND AN ASSHOLE THIS INSTANT.

asshole.

CRACKED ME UP LMAO

troop 69 oh they knew what they were doing

jimmy this is so bad

oh BUT THESE IMPRESSIONS FUCKING SLAYED

okay BUT DON’T GET TIMMY I’LL BE MAD

jimmy deserved

homophobia is not cute STOP

oh MY GOD TIMMY KNOWS WHAT’S UP

kenny jacket is bad luck ig

the way jimmy avoided everything

jimmy ripping on timmy is not cool i’m mad

NAKED PICTURES ?!?!?!?! NOT THE CHILD PORNOGRAPHY

butters tryna explain they being exploited

not THE PUPPIES CARTMAN

OH THEY FIGHTIN

kenny’s parents and brother in the chapel aw

OH FUCK THEY GOING AT ITTT

everyone and their mothers watching two disabled kids beat each other up… weird

not THE NUTS

NOT IT BEING BROADCASTED

hc: all those boys are scarred abt their nude photos being taken and the unfortunate thing is the photos get leaked when they’re in college and it’s so bad :(

wait has kyle not been here the whole time.

WAIT

oh FUCK KYLE WASN’T HERE

prolly bc of his religion or sumth

anyways get the homophobes so true and real

real

wait what

timmy wyd

timmy OH MY GOD LMAOOOOO

okay that last bit was funny alr

EPISODE 3:

radiohead special guests???

cartman wtf u mean u got pubes

wait what the fuck

stan real

KYLE ATE

nah don’t mess w cartman

CARTMAN U DID NOT ATTACH THOSE—

oh lord…

damn scott gaslit the gaslighter

this what he gets for being 8 years old

oh beg FOR IT HE SAID GET HIM

also cartman deserves it

WOW SCOTT IS RUTHLESS

WENDY IN FRAME I MISS HER

everyone is so… dumbfounded

GOD CARTMAN LMAO THIS IS GOING NO WHERE

uhm. this is so awk

undercover cartman

okay pls hold must feed my cats

okay am back

wait must control my cats

back fr

NED NO

also wtf

cartman pls this is a gag

scott one upping cartman is so iconic

YO CARTMAN THIS WAS GENIUS NGL

WHAT THE FUCK CARTMAN THAT WAS TOO MESSED UP

tbh don’t mess w cartman

anyways gonna go 2 bed will continue at a later date

EPISODE 4:

GOOD EVENING GAMERS IM BACC

let's get’r done

not the terrance n phillip shit i dispise them

they shitting their PANTS FOR T AN P

kyle real for waiting for those tickets

oh kyle abt to eat those words oh no

YO TERRANCE IS BIG BRO

wait who the fuck is this

“kenny’s a random slut” damn cartman

clyde i love u my son

THEY GOING TO CANADA MY HOME

phillip being part of an acting crew ok

cartman right kyle oh boy

KENNY’S ARM WHAT THE FUCK— HE GONNA BLEED OUT

NOT HIS OTHER ARM :’((((

i’m sad abt kenny this is torture

mid ep :/

EPISODE 5:

oh damn… i’m sorry cartman

oh no wait this boy being ungrateful as normal

HUH SHE LEFT CARTMAN 1 MILLION DOLLARS

OH NO EGOMANIAC IS ON THE RISE

WENDY WYD FOLLOWING CARTMAN

kyle being real part 8393659373

he gonna. buy a whole ass amusement park for himself

NO NOT THE HEMORRHOID

not style angst

CARTMANLAND how fucking fitting.

style gonna beat his ass as they should

I NEED MY CWEAM— I NEED MY CWEEEEEEEM

properTAH

kyle in his delulu era

butters and clyde icons

STAN LSNDNCHSJDNCN I WISH U GOT AWAY W IT

KYLE U BETTER NOT DIE

kenny got bodied by that pole

kyle PLEASE MY SON DON’T DO IT

I LOVE WHEN KARMA KICKS CARTMANS ASS

“YOU ARE UP THERE ;”)” KYLE DSKHGHDSGSJJS UNHINGED

#faves: south park #viv watches #CARTMANLAND EP SLAYED #runner up was the scott malkinson ep #!!!#gettin goin #WOO

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bunny-rambles · 2 years

Note

my asks are getting so long that i literally need to reread your answers thrice to remember what i have to answer to Lord help me—

let's try to be organized (something i am really not lol)

1. i am, indeed, a huge tea lover. most importantly i am a huge tea drinker because guess what caffeine makes me sleepy instead of active and thus i like to drink a bunch of tea before going to bed despite me being italian i actually do not like the taste of coffee lmao

and people that know me also know i overshare a lot about things i like so yeah. green tea is one of my faves to drink like, without any alterations! any type of green tea and earl gray tea are high on my personal favourites — i also love roasted varieties like japanese genmaicha but they do taste real strong for beginners and people that don't really enjoy bitter flavours like i do. hhh if you've drank green tea and liked it that's good tho! even tho, despite matcha being green tea, it does taste like 5x stronger any tea you might've had in your life (it's also pastier on average bc it's not brewed like you usually brew normal tea)

white tea is also not the easiest to find but it's really sweet! totally recommend it if you like gentler flavours :3

2. now that i've ended the unnecessary long tea ramble, i do like to thing scara actually loves theatre. my reasoning being, his harbinger name / like literally that of every harbinger / comes from the italian tradition of commedia dell'arte, which is a type of theatre (even tho scaramouche got the french version of the original italian name), and even his given name kunikuzushi (literally country destroyer bc he's edgy like that) comes from a japanese theatre archetype! that man bathed in theatre references his entire life lmao also ye he's the balladeer

oh ye that french!genshin au was so filled with stuff... off the top of my head we had painter albedo, xiao and kaeya as decadent poets (literally one of my favourite french poetry style sigh), art critic zhongli, and then all the harbingers worked as actors at the opera as a sort of cover up for a criminal organisation let by the tsaritsa lmao. oh, and we had traveling merchant kazuha and rich son of the chinese aristocracy who fled to france to become an artist xingqiu which was so cute. they met every night at diluc's bar and made art and diluc pretended to be annoyed by it

3. smol language parenthesis, i actually found spanish harder than french lmao. like, rn i consider myself to be fluent in both but God if certain spanish grammar rules are filled with bullshit. but at the end of the day everyone is different so good luck with your spanish studies if you ever do commence them!

4. where i forgot what i was meant to be writing ah, yes!! the scara piece made me tear up a lil but it goes without saying as i am a massive scara stan and you, my friend, are a very good writer. and nothing thanks for the scara food which i absolutely enjoyed :33333

with this i'll go for real. first of all, because i have written way too much once again, and second of all i have forgotten if there was anything else in your original reply ahah. but i do, really, enjoy just talking like this with you!! our nightly exchanges always make me go to bed with a smile on my face ahah

with this i'll wish you good night! in italian we'd say ti voglio bene, which is kind of i love you but like, for friends? (it literally means i wish you well, it's funny because we're the only language i speak that actually does have a platonic ily)

with this, i wish you well a whole lot!

- 🍓

I have also been scrolling up to see what I need to reply too but no matter what the topic is, it’s always nice to talk to you <3 so I don’t mind at all

1. I’m also a big caffeine addict but I’m not sure it gives me the energy boost I need and it makes me pretty sleepy too. Hm, tea is starting to soy d rather tempting now.

1.2) the green tea I had really didn’t taste of much, it was a very subtle taste that I didn’t get, it was like drinking water,,, so it would be interesting to try it without any filters. I’ve heard matcha is good though !! So maybe I’ll have to give that a try when I’m ‘more experienced’ hehe. I like flavours I can taste, but I’ll still give anything a try.

2) I actually didn’t think of his real name also being a theatre reference, ah my little dramatic balladeer <3 I would watch him perform. But I did know about the Italian theatre that inspired the harbingers, and it’s all very interesting. Confusing, but interesting.

2.1) of course zhongli is the critic lmfao I love that, and Diluc still having a bar even in a completely different universe - that man is destined to be around alcohol even if he hates it. But the harbingers working as secret theatre performers? Goodness I’m so intrigued. Like this AU sounds really thought out and I’m so???? Like??? Hello what happens next??? Why are they undercover??? If you ever write snippets of this please just send some because I really love this idea. And Kazuha, my wanderer, oh I’m so soft for him just living his life and painting things because it makes him happy <33 I wonder if he writes poems on the side too? All of them sound wonderful, but I couldn’t help but giggle at Zhongli

3) I’m doomed if it’s not easy OTL, maybe I’ll just stick to flowery English that no one seems to understand sometimes like kazuha and call it a day ): but I’ll most likely try to take up learning a language when I start university this year so we’ll see which one I pick

4) berrryyyy… making me blush and smile and nearly cry from this. I liked writing it and I love hearing how much you and others liked it so you’re very welcome for the food<33 hope you’re not full though because there’s two more I have to write

5) this also makes me smile when we speak like this, a shame I’ve been so low on energy lately. I really didn’t want to make anything I said depressing so I just wait until I feel okay enough to reply.

- ti voglio bene, I really like that :,) it’s exactly what I mean instead of saying I love you, but platonic, so I might start signing our exchanges with that <3

For now, until I get to the second part, ti voglio bene, berry <3

#bun speaks #🍓 anon

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savingprimrose · 3 years

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Oh i would love to write lenector smut with all the eroticism of biting into someone's neck but first i'm going to try and write rivetra fluff to balance the universe. Wish me luck!!

#i am in lenector hell #but like a rivetra idea i've had in my head for literal years now just jumped out and suddenly wants to be written lmaoooo #i've got ideas for scenes but idk how to connect them all yet and it's going to be told through multiple POVs and good lorde #i need all the luck i can get lmao #i mean it's easier to tap into the psyche of some aot characters for me but it's hard for others ya know #like it's very easy for me to get into levi and jean's head for example but it' hard for me to get into eren and annie's...#ANYWAYS!! I JUST REALLY WANNA WRITE RIVETRA THROUGH THE EYES OF THE 104TH KIDS 😫#writerly woes

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halcyon-wings · 2 years

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A random passerby is here, in your inbox, to humbly request some Ensemble Stars content: Rinne with a crush or s/o who likes to accompany him whenever he goes and loves acting as his lucky charm ??? I may or may not be prone to addiction myself and something about the impulsiveness of gambling is just extremely fascinating to me... thank you for reading, have a pleasant [insert time of day] (✿^‿^)

rinne with a lucky charm crush !!

hi y/n can i borrow you for a sec. nothing personal i just think i could win genshin 50/50s w u around. that is all. please do not deny my request. i am begging you. also dedicated to a certain rinneP,, ring a bell? :)

features a gn!reader and rinne amagi, who probably needs the luck (mentions of asobi too! there’s a reason for this i swear lmao)

<3 he met you during an asobi meeting

<3 no i am. 100% serious he met you during an asobi meeting

<3 everyone was pulling for characters on a gacha in this restaurant right?? and you were also eating there??? AND THE SECOND YOU WALKED PAST THEM EVERYONE GOT THE CHARACTERS THEY WANTED????? wh. hu. WH-HOW?????????

<3 needless to say they all found out stuff about you via the waiter (apparently you were a regular!) and begged you to join them

<3 so now, you’re stuck as gacha luck

<3 rinne though? he tends to drag you around left and right a lot more than the others. you don’t really mind, though he does occasionally get a bit.. cheeky

<3 it’s the middle of the night. you’re at a casino and rinne’s hitting win after win after win, a fistful of money in his hand and a sackful in yours. he turns to you, grinning. “if i get this next one, you and i are gonna go on a date.”

<3 “this late?” you scoff, rolling your eyes. “yeah, right.” you turn to walk in the other direction only for your hand to be grabbed. rough, maybe a bit calloused, but you can feel the warmth.

<3 “please? just…” he scratches his head, chuckling a bit. the tip of his nose and ears have a faint rouge to them. rinne locks eyes with you and you swear your heart must have stopped beating at some point. now it’s pounding and you can’t help but feel a slight adrenaline rush while looking at him.

<3 he seems to notice how he acts, considering how his eyes now widen a bit. he breaks out into a quiet laugh as he grips your hand just a bit tighter, going so far as to kiss the back of it and looking up with a sly grin. “cat got your tongue, doll~?”

<3 good GOD this dude. huffing, you pull the lever for him…

<3 … and win. actually, you get a jackpot.

<3 sigh.

<3 rinne isn’t cheering or lording his win over your head. instead, he still has his hand intertwined with yours as he gives you a smile. not a sly one, just… a smile. one with so much.. well, honestly, you aren’t quite sure what it is, but for some reason, you happen to feel just a bit more fluttery.

<3 a date is a date and a bet is a bet. takebacks aren’t allowed, but honestly? neither of you really mind all that much.

<3 just you, him, and the streetlights at night.

#mocha scribbles #mochanons wishes #heeheeeeee :)#i like writing longer reqs!! these r fun haha #also y/n can i still have your luck :i get thrown:#enstars #ensemble stars #ansuta #rinne amagi #rinne enstars #rinne ensemble stars #enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #enstars hcs #rinne amagi x reader #rinne enstars x reader

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waltnut · 3 years

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Yes, I'm a THIRSTY, HORNY and DEHYDRATED bicht. But I am proud of myself. Can I request more NSFW head cannons of our monster boyfriend? But don't make it dark, maybe add some after segg cares if you want? I LOVE YOU.

Don’t make it dark?? Don’t you know what I’m about??? I can’t believe this.

No I’m joking lol well damn, NSFW? Okay well, this is for the Monster Fuckers so kiddies look away. I’m sorry to those who don’t like NsFw. I will tag it as “NSFT” for Not Safe for Timeline but I also hide it under the cut. I’m sorry. I had fun with this...now I’m embarrassed lmao You guys seem to like these so...

The prompt has me thrown a bit, but I’ll just make some stuff up, I hope that’s okay.

NSFW Headcanons - Monster Boyfriend edition: Demon Lords, Vol. 1

Adult content. These are demons. If this disturbs you, then stop reading here. Otherwise, enjoy?

Lucifer

Level 3

He sheds his feathers on his body when he’s nervous. MC makes him nervous when he’s like this. What do they think of him? Is he ugly? Would they call him a monster?

He’s the most submissive in this form. Gentle touches make him shiver and jump. He feels the most vulnerable and actively moves away from MC if they try to be intimate.

But he wants the intimacy. It’s reassuring. He’s still wanted. He actually might cry a bit. He’s sensitive, be nice.

MC will have to do most of the initiating. After the first time MC had had intimacy with him like this, he will be more confident the next times they engage in any sexual activity.

Level 4

All the pride and confidence. None of that level 3 sissy business, he will have you.

He’s very grabby, and maybe grips a little too tight. He likes the power of being stronger than you. He wants you to know it.

He seems to always have his wings as wide as he can make them. It must be some sort of mating dance. He does have that part bird instinct in there somewhere. He wants to show off, maybe intimidate you a bit. Does he like fear?

Might use the feathers on his tail to tickle you to make you squirm while he has you. What fun!

Mammon

Level 3

He is very clingy. He wants to always be touching you. Even if it’s just the tips of his wings or tail, he wants to have the physical touch.

As he goes through this level, his ability to sense any Greed from the MC to be highly erotic. Talking about buying those new clothes you’ve been wanting? Turn on. Saying how you’re gonna share any of them with him? He can’t contain himself.

He loves pets. Brushes against his hair, feathers, scales, will make him coo. Bird noises, gotta love them.

Easy seduction outfit, should you choose to wear one, anything shiny. Gold chains? Perfect. Sheer black clothes but with gold edges and designs? Also perfect. He can’t resist the shiny.

Level 4

Don’t even think about leaving him, until he lets you. You’re part of his treasure now and he will preen and polish you accordingly.

Lazy in this form, expect lots of cuddling with the dragon. He’s quite warm. The texture on his underside is soft like skin even though it looks like lizard scales. Don’t be surprised when you feel surprise boners while laying with him. He may be lazy, but he’s not tired.

Touching the skin texture of his body is a great seduction tactic should you need one. It’s the sensitive side to his body while the rest is covered in feathers and scales.

While he will dress up MC in gold as a mating ritual, should MC do the same to him, it is the greatest indicator that you are accepting his proposal for intimacy.

Leviathan

Level 3

Two dicks. Look we all know it. We all agree. Moving on.

Touching the purple frills on his ears is like touching his junk. It’s a highly erroneous zone for him. But be gently, they are very soft and sensitive.

Do you even lift? Well you might need to because he is going to be wrapped around you the entire time. He’s quite heavy and good luck getting out of that one.

Laying with him in water is the best way to show any intimate intentions. Even if you think it’ll be a relaxing chill in the water, think again.

Level 4

Now if you’re brave and choose to sleep with a giant ass sea monster, you’re in luck because he can manipulate water to allow you to breathe in the water.

He is the largest of all the brothers in terms of monster size. He’s a giant sea dragon. So be careful when dealing with...well, his size.

He likes to flip you around in the water, so staying in one position is not an option. It’s like a dance!

Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the orange fleshy bits on his sides. The more he glows the more you know!

Satan

Level 3

If you’re into having sex after yelling and screaming at each other then congrats! So is he. Angry sex is what he’s about. He’s wrath. I mean, come on.

Belittle him. No really. He’ll want to prove you wrong. Fuels the fire.

Extremely dominant. Don’t even try to top him. Also you just finished? No rest for you, you’re going again.

He’s gonna scratch and mark you. Bring some bandaids.

Level 4

Okay first of all, you really want to sleep with this? He’s terrifying. He is an actual hell spawn. Well okay, be prepared for selfish sex. He’s rough.

Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the flames on his back. Can you pass your hand through it without it burning you? You pass. It’ll grow brighter and larger the closer he is to finishing.

Most likely to choke you.

Will call you names during the act, sorry. The “not nice” kind.

Asmodeus

Level 3

Words are your biggest weapon. Constant love and adoration is all you need when he’s like this. You won’t even need to touch him to work the magic.

As the avatar of lust, he knows the human body of all genders. His genitalia resembles a males’ but it does have a clit on the bottom side of the head of the dick. You can get real creative with that.

Kiss and touch his ears! He loves it. They might flick at your touch, but he’s into it.

Is able to have his scorpion tails in this form if he chooses to, and he likes pushing and pulling you around with them.

Level 4

More of a Dom in this form. He also enjoys a good mess.

Don’t grab onto his tails, he’s not into it. But grabbing onto his mane? Go right ahead with that.

A little bitey. Vampire tendencies.

Most likely to try and sex you on the ceiling. Why? Not sure. But he’s able to do it so just roll with it.

Beelzebub

Level 3

Look at that long ass tongue. He’s gonna use it. Why wouldn’t he use it? You’re gonna want him to use it. The paralysis saliva he can produce is something he can choose to use.

Will jump on you out of nowhere. No literally, where did he come from? It’s 3 Am and everyone else is asleep. But a good smack will get him to stop if it’s unwanted. Bad puppy.

He might share his food with you if he’s offering intimacy. Like with his mouth. Like it might already be chewed a bit.

Chromeo lyrics: ((Don’t turn the lights on! I want to see you in the dark~.)) His eyes are sensitive, okay.

Level 4

You ever had sex with a Minotaur? You ever wanted to?

Will carry you off to a secluded area that he has found for himself. He doesn’t want to be disturbed.

The longer you go with him, the hotter his body feels. Just like when he feeds, he’ll have steam coming off his body.

Most likely to hump your leg.

Belphegor

Level 3

He enjoys you being uncomfortable. Emotionally or physically.

Sleep paralysis demon. Hey, at least you won’t be doing most of the work.

He’ll quietly hum a lullaby to you to see if you’ll accept his intimacy proposal. If you hum back, you accept. Careful, he might hum your favorite song.

His wool is so soft. Why is it so soft? You need to touch all of it.

Level 4

If you’re not banging irl, you will in your dreams.

You ever wanted to have sex in space? He can make the best magic Galaxy projector you’ve ever seen, and without the paid promotion!

His wool smells of soothing herbs and incense. So despite his creepy ass behavior, you find a way to calm your nerves.

You’ll have the best sleep you’ve ever had afterwards.

#obey me #obey me headcanons #monster boyfriend #nsft

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football-writing · 3 years

Text

Jack Grealish - real smooth

Note: I haven't seen the david and liza vid that this request was based on, and I have the attention span of fresh gravy so I didn't watch it either lmao. But I had a bit of an idea in mind for this more like Mason's fifa forfeit vid with Chunkz (let's be honest that vid was hilarious I still watch it sometimes for laughs lmao) anyway I hope that's okay. Also this features other players too bc why not

Warnings: contains some curse words probably, slight mentions of sexy times at the end, also I have no idea how waxing actually works as my only knowledge comes from that Mason vid so,, this is probably not accurate sorry xoxo

Hope you enjoy babes x

It wasn't unusual for Jack to invite some of his friends over whenever he had a day off. In fact, his days off were usually spend either with you or with his friends, most often opting for eating out with you before getting back and playing fifa with the boys for well past midnight. Today was no different. You had occupied yourself with a book and and cup of tea in your shared bedroom, while Jack was downstairs with his friends playing fifa. Their yelling and laughter could be heard even from behind the closed bedroom door. Not that it bothered you too much: as long as they were having fun and cleaning up after themselves once they left, it was fine by you.

However, it surprised you to hear footsteps coming up to the stairs, then down the hallway to your room. They had everything they needed downstairs, and never before had they bothered you upstairs, so why would they now?

A knock sounded on your bedroom door and you yelled out a quick 'yeah' as you closed your book and sat up on the bed, curious as to what it was they needed.

"Hey angel." Jack said as his head popped through the door before making his way into your bedroom, sitting down defeatedly onto the edge of your bed. He had a slight pout on his face, and bit his bottom lip nervously as he looked at you.

"What's wrong, baby? Please tell me you didn't break anything down there." You said, a stern look plastered on your face.

"No, no, it's nothing like that. It's just- uhm." He hesitated as he looked down, playing with the hem of his shirt instead of maintaining eye contact with you. Worry took over your features. What was he up to now?

"We were playing fifa forfeit, right. And Ben said I had to wax my legs if I lost-"

"Oh my god, Jack!" A releaved sigh left her lips. It was never gonna be anything serious with these boys anyway. She should've known better. "Did you lose, though? Please tell me you did."

He only nodded in response, and she let out a squeel as she fell back on the bed.

"That's hilarious, I was worried there for a second, but this is great."

"Don't get too excited. The boys asked if I'd ask you if you had any wax. But I just came up here to chat for a bit and then I'll go back down saying you didn't."

"Now, why would you do that?" She said as she looked at him with raised brows, challenging him.

"You know, I actually do have some strips left, I'd be more than happy to wax your legs. Besides, a bet is a bet, Jack. You can't just back down now." She smiled thriumphantly and he groaned in response.

"Why won't you just have my back with this?"

"Oh, I can wax your back too, no problem."

"Not what I meant sweetheart."

"I know." She smiled cheekily as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek, before telling him she'd be downstairs in a bit with all the necessities to wax his legs.

"Hey boys!" She hollered as she rushed down the stairs with her wax kit, the boys looking up at her. Jack was already sitting on the chaise longue with his legs up. His shorts ridden up a bit more than usual to expose his muscular thighs. The others sitting next to him on the couch, ready for the action that was about to unfold.

"Ready, babe?" She wiggled her eyebrows at him as she sat down her kit.

"Oh I sure am!" Ben replied with a big boyish smile on his face.

"I'm sure you are, Ben." She chuckled as she ruffled his hair. He'd usually have it gelled back whenever he had a game, but kept it natural and curly when he came around theirs. It was her favourite look of his, perhaps partly because she could mess with his hair more easily.

"I remember when I had this done, hurts like hell. Good luck bro!" Mason interjected, patting Jack's shoulder in mock-sympathy.

"Yeah, I cannot wait to see you cry like a baby. I love you for coming up with this, Ben."

"Babe!" He whined. "You're supposed to support me here."

"Well I am supporting you, I'm the one waxing you. Trust me, you do not want to have this done by someone who has no idea what they're doing." You said as you warmed up a few strips of wax between your hands.

"Seconded." Declan replied with a serious face. Everyone looked at him in confusion; he had never told them about getting waxed before, but it sounded like an intriguing story.

"I'm not even gonna ask, mate." Jack said. Horror stories would not make this experience any more bearable for him. It left Dec pretending to be upset, eager to tell the - no doubt ridiculous - story.

"Alright, I'm gonna get these on." You interrupted their banter, tearing the strip to reveal the sticky substance underneath.

She put the strips on his leg as the boys chatted away. Just as she was putting the fourth strip on, Jack swatted her hand away.

"You have to put all those on?" He questioned her.

"Well the forfeit did say 'legs'. As in, both legs. Completely." Declan argued.

"I did say that. But that's a bit too harsh innit?"

"Yeah, there's already three strips on now, let's see how he gets through those first." Mason offered.

"Will hurt like hell with that much hair." Declan hit Jack's leg for emphasis.

"No doubt." You laughed as you smoothed out the strips once more.

"Ready, Jack?" You asked as you hold the edge of one of the strips, ready to pull it off.

"Wait, wait I gotta film this!" Declan was quick to exclaim as he took out his phone, much to Jack's dismay, who had his hands in front of his face as he waits for the inevitable pain of ripping off the strips.

"Alright, 3. 2. 1!" The boys count down in unison as you rip off the first strip.

"Jesus, Y/N!" An array of curses leave Jack's mouth as he yelps, gripping his leg in pain, his eyes wide with shock. Clearly he had underestimated how much this was really going to hurt, which has all of you rolling over with laughter. Mason is gripping his stomach as he's sitting on the floor, barely able to breathe between his giggles. You're trying to ease Jack's mind and soothingly rub the sensitive skin on his leg, but you're shaking too much from the laughter leaving your lips.

"Oh my lord, and look at the hair that's come off!" Declan hollers as he takes a step closer to properly film the strip that was, indeed, covered in Jack's leg hair. You held it up for the camera as you shrieked at the sheer amount of hair. It's like a lion's mane got glued on the strip.

"Jeez, Jack, you hairy lad." Declan laughs, which earns a grumble from dissatisfied boy. You're pretty sure if Dec wasn't responsible for filming the whole ordeal, he'd be on the ground just as Mason was.

"Oi, what are you crying for, mate? I'm the one in pain here." Jack points a finger accusingly at Ben, and when you turn around you see he has tears in his eyes, breathing coming out in desperate gasps as he shakes his head no, signalling he can't take any more of this banter. It seemed like everyone had at least slightly calmed down, but looking at Ben made everyone burst out in laughter yet again. Mason had tears streaming down his face now too, and you're sure he might piss his pants if he laughs any louder. It even makes Jack chuckle.

"Just get it over with, alright. I don't wanna be in pain any longer." Jack asks you nonetheless, guiding your hand to one of the other strips.

"It can't be that bad." Ben's voice is higher than usual from his earlier laughing fit, but he's wiping the tears from his eyes as he seems to have calmed down considerably. Mason can only nod in confirmation, still unable to form words without giggling.

"I have no problem waxing you lot too, babes." You smile up cheekily at them, which results in loud protests from the boys.

"Now that I would love to see." Jack replies, before looking down at his leg and rubbing the spot that was now rid of any hairs. "Perhaps this would be funnier if there weren't two other strips on me leg." He sighed in despair, staring at his leg with sad eyes. It made you chuckle, but seeing Jack's stern look dericted at you, you quickly focused on the task at hand.

"Alright, next one Jack."

"Lord have mercy."

The next strips don't have any other effect than the first one. It sends all of you rolling on the floor laughing, and Jack with tears in his eyes and red skin on his leg. Dec leaves the room at one point because he genuinely can't breathe, and Mason has to sprint to the bathroom, like you predicted. Meanwhile your hands get shakier and shakier from laughing, and you can barely see what you're doing due to the tears prickling at the corner of your eyes. Jack's decided to rip the last strip off himself, and you're shrieking with laughter as he pulls at it but chickens out from the pain, resulting in it only coming off halfway. When it is finally off, and all the hairy strips are disposed of, everyone slowly but certainly calms down. You're getting some lotion from upstairs to soothe the stinging, and when Ben orders pizza, it all seems long gone.

Yet when you're watching tv, and Mason steals a sneaky glance at Dec, the both can't help but try - and fail - to surpress their giggles.

It's how the rest of the night continued until the three other boys finally left in the late hours of the night.

"I'll clean, love. Get in bed and I'll see you in a bit, yeah?" Jack's offering once they're gone, and you're accepting gratefully as you kiss his cheek. The night was fun, but the laughing fits had you beyond tired.

So when Jack slips into bed next to you, you're already in bed with your eyes closed, dozing off.

"Hey, babe."

"Hm?" You mumble as you open your eyes at Jack's whisper.

"Wanna feel my leg?" He asks, but he's already draping his freshly waxed leg over your legs, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

You've known the guy long enough to know that he won't stop bothering you if you decline, and the request makes you think of the many times you've asked him to feel your legs after - finally - shaving them again.

So you decide to humour him and softly carress his smooth leg.

"Feels pretty good, huh?" His voice cocky as he questions you.

"Sure, real smooth Jack."

"Wanna have sex with a sexy smooth beast like that?"

You snort loudly at his inappropriate request, shoving his leg off of you in a joking manner.

"Oh come on, don't tell me I went through all that for nothing!" He exclaims in agony.

"No, you went through all that because you suck at Fifa." You deadpan as you grin at him.

His eyes are darker as he watches you intently, and the knowing smirk on your face makes you apprehensive of what he's up to now. He's moving closer, hovering over you and effectively trapping you as his muscular arms hold himself up on either side of you. And next thing you know, he's placing a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth, before trailing down to your jaw. A gasp involuntarily leaves your lips as he nibbles at your earlobe.

"You know with how soft my leg is and all." He starts to whisper in your ear. His voice is husky and smooth - and normally you know what it means. But you have no clue where he's going with this sentence. "Would you mind if I-" And he's pausing again for dramatic effect as his lips graze over your hot skin. "Slitherin." He finally whispers in your ear, accentuating the 's'.

And just like that, you're back rolling over with laughter just like you had been that very afternoon.

#Jack grealish #Jack grealish x reader #jack grealish oneshot #jack grealish imagine #jack grealish fanfic

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