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kill-your-authors · 3 years

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I’ve been thinking about Booker again.

I know I’ve talked about my opinions on him before (and gotten hate for doing so) but I literally can’t let it go so here I am talking about it again.

I have a problem with how Booker’s character arc was handled in the movie. I whole-heartedly believe that the intention was for the audience to feel torn at the ending of the movie, after finding out that Booker betrayed them and that he was going to face a hundred years of exile and as an audience member I want to feel torn. I want to be asking myself, “But if I were in his shoes, can I honestly say I wouldn’t have done the same?” because writing that evokes that kind of emotion in the audience is exciting and it’s what fiction is for.

But we’re not torn at the end. I think everyone who watched the movie and is currently in this fandom has taken a definitive “side” when there was never supposed to be sides. People either over-sympathize with Booker and have either forgiven him or outright excused him for the harm he did, or they have vilified him and think he deserved worse, or that he ought to never be forgiven.

And as it stands, as the movie was written, I lean toward the side that believes, at the very least, he had it coming and deserves what he got.

But I wish that wasn’t the case. I wish the movie had done a better job of revealing Booker’s POV of things. Firstly, that he had no idea they were going to be captured. He believed they were going to give up some DNA, some tissue samples, and believed in doing so, that millions of sick people would either become healthy, or that their quality of life would be vastly improved and as a bonus in the process they would discover a way for him to end his life. In his eyes, that was nothing less than a win-win, and one I could easily see the youngest and least experienced and most naïve member of The Guard believing was the right thing to do.

Nile wasn’t part of his plan, Andy losing her immortality wasn’t part of his plan, Nicky and Joe being tortured wasn’t part of his plan. It wasn’t even part of Copley’s, so how could it have been part of Booker’s? Not only that, but Booker isn’t doing this just for himself. Booker gets called selfish a lot by this fandom, and gets called selfish in canon by Joe - but Booker really believed he was doing this for Andy too. He probably believed he was making the decision that Andy, the leader of their group, would never make because Andy knows she is the one the rest of them look up to to be strong and to cope with their immortality and to lead them on their righteous path of doing good and making the world a better place.

And I know I’ve made this argument before (and gotten hate for it) but I really think they fucked up when they had Booker say in the lab, “What do you know of the weight of all these years alone? You and Nicky always had each other.” I hate this line, because there is no way to interpret it other than that Booker did this because he’s lonely and not just lonely but romantically lonely which is indisputably selfish even if you consider that he’s doing it for Andy too, who had Quynh in her life for longer than Joe and Nicky have had each other, and who has had to live without her for 500 years.

I really wish that at this critical point in the plot, they had Booker bring up his kids. He is the only one (that we know of) out of the entire guard who had children and we know that his grief over losing them is what has driven him to the point of being suicidal because of his conversation with Nile by the campfire. Booker’s backstory is a tragedy. Not only did he watch all three of his children die (and presumably a wife) but they all despised him, and more importantly despised him for his immortality. They blamed him for their deaths. They are the real reason he is so desperate to “end it,” and yet they made it sound like the only reason he doesn’t want to live is because he doesn’t have a romantic partner which in comparison, is nothing and is indisputably a selfish and pathetic (as Joe points out) reason for him to expose the Guard’s immortality to outsiders.

I also think they should have done this because unlike Andy, Joe and Nicky, who all have lost people too, and had to grieve people too - Booker’s memory of his family is fresh. Their loss is still an open wound. Andy says herself that she can’t remember her mother or sisters’ faces. Andy, Joe and Nicky are full of grief too, but their wounds aren’t fresh.

(I also think this would have been good to highlight because it also explains why Nile was willing to let him off with an apology. I hate the implication that Nile wants to let him off with an apology because she hasn’t “learned” yet the way they suggest. I don’t think they’re giving Nile enough credit. Nile has just learned that she will never even speak to her mom and brother again, people she didn’t even get to say goodbye to. She has also just left all of her closest friends behind and the military, which was a vocation that was incredibly important to her due to her dad and she has just listened to Booker explain the toll this will take on her as time passes. When she suggests they let him off with an apology, it’s because she understands more than anybody else in that moment what the grief of losing your family can drive you to do. I know it is also because she is young, and has a good heart, and isn’t the type to hold a grudge, but to act as if that’s the only reason is just not giving Nile enough credit. She’s a marine who less than a week before believed that death was the end of it and here they all are now, alive and safe again, and she’s thinking, “No harm, no foul.”)

And also, Booker is like Nile. He’s “too new” still. Unlike Andy, Joe and Nicky who believe there’s at least a chance every time they die that they’re dying for real, Booker knows he’s got time. He knows he’s got centuries, maybe even millennia to endure yet. Millennia of wanting desperately to die and not being able to ahead of him. As someone who has been suicidal (and I know this makes me biased), who has believed the alternative to death was decades (not even centuries, let alone millennia!) of misery still ahead of me - I can tell you that when you’re thinking like that, death feels like such a gift, to be able to remind yourself, “at least I have the option to kill myself” when things get truly dark. Booker doesn’t have that option. He has to suffer indefinitely.

I just really wish the movie had explored this and I think it’s really unfortunate that what Booker’s going through got boiled down to being romantically lonely. I think Booker’s arc misses it’s own point and therefore the ending in which he gets exiled for 100 years defeats the purpose. We aren’t torn. We aren’t asking ourselves what we would have done in his place, and we aren’t unsure of the answer anyway. For me, this was a make-or-break missed opportunity for this movie. It’s still one of my favorite movies, and these characters are very close to my heart now, but as a writer it missed its mark.

#the old guard #sebastian le livre #joe x nicky #andromache of scythia #Booker #yes I know this meta has been beaten to death #but I'm still not over it

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gingersp1ce547 · 3 years

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Eret and quackity’s relationship /rp

I don’t feel like this is talked about enough considering they have a very interesting one sided hatred going on but also I am not going to be talking about anything pre-nov 16 in regards to their relationship just bc I don’t know it as well as their current one so if you do please feel free to add on :D

Anyways quackity and eret are both extremely different characters which is interesting to me since their actually really similar in terms of experiences.

They both looked up to Wilbur as a leader and considered him a friend even when he didn’t.

They both directly opposed him when they believed that another person would do what was better for the server and also did so to gain power

They both believe violence is sometimes the only way of preventing more bloodshed and getting what you want.

They both were manipulated and neglected by that person once they gained the power they wanted

They both have (had in eret’s case? Idk that whole things screwy) a good relationship with fundy in which they showed him that he was important and loved (even if it was also manipulation in quackitys case)

They both have a soft spot for tommy, tubbo and l’manburg as a whole

And lastly they both would go into to regret their actions in opposition to Wilbur, betray the person that gave them power, and say that Wilbur was better than both of them.

But that long list of similarities ends when you look at their personalities and feelings about their actions.

Eret directly felt guilty for her betrayal of l’manburg because she realized it left her alone, she’s never been one to be able to talk her way out of a situation, she wants to use his power as king to make people feel safe, and she has to begun to acknowledge the manipulation she suffered under dream and has taken steps to not be like dream and instead try to help other people hurt by him. (Also somehow has a positive relationship with techno? Idk how it happened but it exists)

On the other side of the coin, stands quackity who felt upset that he didn’t realize Schlatt was never going to give him the power he wanted earlier, his main power comes from his ability to talk circles around people, he uses his power to make himself feel safe, and while he is aware of how Schlatt has mistreated him he’s only taken steps to put himself in the same position that Schlatt had in order to be able to be the one in control this time. He cares about people hurt by Schlatt in his own way but mostly is just interested in projecting his own issues onto everyone else (see the convo with fundy or anyone with tubbo regarding who to trust) (also we all know how that relationship with techno is going and it sure is something)

These differences in personality I think are most plainly shown by the Mexican l’manburg conflict; the one in which quackity, outraged by georges de throw meant and seeking to prove Mexican l’manburgs power as a faction, talked Karl into sacrificing himself in a faked peaceful protest where they planted tnt to make it seem like eret blew him up.

This plan did not work out and led to eret along with his knights and dream blowing up Mexican l’manburg and then quackity arguing with dream over the validity of Mexican l’manburg as a state which ended with the birth of el rapids.

The things worth noting to me in this interaction is

A. Eret seeing the description as mexican l’manburg as the same swift act of violence eret saw as needed to stop further violence as the one he saw in the final control room, albeit this time it worked),

And B. Quackity’s incredible charisma being out on show both in convincing Karl to loose a canon life of his own volition, and being the only one to actually hold his own in an argument against dream and come out of it with some measure of a win

Though even more interesting to me is what they both took away from it.

Eret kind of just didn’t care? Like yeah they where absolutely pissed someone was attempting to slander their name which had already been dragged through the mud, but in the long term of things they didn’t hold any grudges against quackity.

Meanwhile quackity to this day dislikes eret not because of his actions but because they took the offer to be recrowned as king after George was dethroned.

An action which eret did as an attempt to regain power, something quackity should approve off considering his own beliefs about power but doesn’t because it hurt his friend.

In the long term would it not make more sense to be mad at dream? Since he would have most likely just given the crown to someone else if they refused? And that’s not to say that quackity didn’t dislike dream after this event because he did, but he also extremely disliked eret.

A sentiment he has held onto for a very long time, even expressing to ghostbur after doomsday that he still disliked eret for replacing George.

And that is the biggest difference between these two characters. Their outlook on people.

Eret chooses to forgive because he wants forgiveness himself. He is nice to people because he wants them to have the happiness he hasn’t really found yet.

But quackity chooses to hold grudges because that’s what people have done to him. He is not kind (atleast once you get past the surface level), because he wants people to feel the same pain he has felt.

I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s the difference between forgiveness and vengeance but more like stoping the cycle of abuse vs. embracing it.

I think the same can be applied to their views on their manipulators.

Eret is happy enough with dream in prison because it means he’s free to do what he wanted to do with the power given to him as king.

On the other hand, quackity, once he found out about glatt, decided to make a deal that would put him in the same place he was under Schlatt’s administration.

To conclude I would say these two characters aren’t foils because their too similar but more like too diverging paths on a road. Because at the end of the day they have experience very similar things but they decided to go about very different ways with coping with them. And I find that interesting.

Anyways give me more interaction between these two, I would pay actually money to have eret go to las nevadas once it opens to the public.

#dream smp #dsmp #c!eret #eretblr #the eret #c!quackity #this wasn’t meant to be read as c!quakcity critcial but I know it could be interepreted that way so if you want me to change the tags #please let me know #dsmp analysis #analysis

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sou-ver-2-0 · 3 years

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I was thinking of an AU, where the death game is created by Sou and set up in Shin's favor. I don't have it well developed yet, but I thought it might be something you'd find interesting!

I definitely find that idea interesting!! I wish you luck in developing that idea further!

For canon, I’m attached to the theory that the Man from the Memorandum is the mastermind of the Death Game, and that his favored candidate is Sara, leaving Shin in the dust. But I really love the idea that Sou could parallel the Memorandum Man in this regard, and that his favored candidate is Shin! An AU where Sou is the mastermind himself sounds delicious as candy to me.

I’ll leave it to you to work out the finer details of your AU. But, maybe it will inspire you if I share some of the ideas @novatoast and I have come up with for our:

“Sou/Midori wants Shin to live” Theory

This theory is a villain stan’s fever dream, but we do have some evidence for it. The basic principles of this theory are that:

Sou might have died for Shin, or else, that he died knowing that his death would give Shin a fighting chance.

Midori is leaving gifts for Shin, and so the “weakest candidate” ends up having a shocking number of advantages.

I already discussed some ways the first point could work in my “Midori is Meister’s Son Theory” post. The basic argument for it is that Original Sou parallels Kai, and if Kai died entrusting his “hopes and regrets” to Sara, it is possible that Sou died entrusting his own name to Shin. Midori the doll even claims, “I gave Sou to Shin.”

The obvious counterargument against this theory is that Midori also states that he wanted to kill Shin himself! You know, “since he was going to die anyway.” To explain this contradiction, I previously speculated that Midori could have lost his “positive emotions” for Shin, to parallel how Rio Ranger lost his own “positive emotions.” Recently, I thought of a different explanation: notably, Midori only says this line in the “Kanna lives” route. It’s possible that Nankidai is setting up a surprise in this route that the person Midori really wants to kill is Kanna, for taking “his Shin” away from him. Another explanation is that Midori is furious at Shin for throwing away all his chances at survival, and this line reflects his anger.

Am I reaching? Obviously, yes. This is the theory where I dial up my self-indulgence to eleven.

Anyway! Isn’t it funny how Shin keeps getting all these gifts and advantages? What if Midori was giving them to him??

1. The name ‘Sou Hiyori’: Midori claims that he gave Sou to Shin! Sou is the name of a villain who lies and uses people. It’s the name of a strong man who has the potential to win. The previous Death Game winner may have even been the role of “The Villain,” so it can be done!

2. The laptop: Shin finds the Hidden Room with the laptop, and he even comments that it may be a gift from the kidnappers. To me, Shin’s dialogue sounds like someone who is used to being toyed with. However, the laptop is undeniably useful to Shin. Firstly, it contains incriminating evidence against Kai, helping to ensure Kai’s death in the First Main Game instead of Shin. Secondly, the laptop proves Shin’s usefulness to the group as a computer hacker, giving him a lifeline he could seize…if he so desired.

3. The gift of knowledge: Before the First Main Game, Shin somehow knew about the Sacrifice Card! And other details about the Main Game! He uses this knowledge to isolate Kanna and trick her—underhanded tactics he surely picked up from his relationship with Sou. Shin also uses this knowledge to devise a strategy to draw out the Sage, while protecting himself and Kanna by acting outrageous enough that they could have each been the Sacrifice.

4. The laptop charger: Wowowow isn’t that convenient?? Isn’t that just what we all needed to keep using the laptop, that precious item which highlights Shin’s invaluable skillset? And Shin just found a charger lying around? Wow!

5. The stun gun: Shin mysteriously got himself a weapon!! Where the hell did you get that, Shin? That’s clearly an unfair advantage!

6. Kugie’s smartphone: I love the implications that Midori may have intended Kugie’s smartphone—with the cruel message—to be a present for Shin, to corner Kanna even further. Notably, Shin and Kanna found the room first, but they were too scared to go inside, and so Sara ended up picking up the phone. Ultimately, Shin used the smartphone to try to boost Kanna’s self-esteem, and he tried to hide the fact that he cared about her. (Though Kanna figured it out anyway.)

With these gifts falling into his lap, Shin entered the Second Main Game with a Strong Persona; a henchman who was willing to die for him; and with everyone recognizing how indispensable his computer hacking skills were. He had so many advantages.

And then he throws them all away.

He gives up on lying about his name, because he wants to be able to trust people again.

He uses all his wiles to try to save Kanna, even at the cost of his own life.

He argues that you should not vote for the “useless” child, and that you should instead vote for the “hated” villain, himself.

If Shin had simply kept up the selfish Sou Hiyori persona, he could have survived!

Wouldn’t it be interesting if Sou/Midori had also given up everything for Shin? That he may have had logical reasons for being so cruel to Shin, to try to make Shin a “strong” person? Because he thought that was the only way his kind-hearted, “weak” friend could live?

Who had the motivation to give the weakest candidate so many advantages? Might Shin have had his own “hero in the shadows,” similar to how Kai was looking out for Sara…but more like a “devil in the shadows” looking out for him?

…On the one hand, I don’t want to get my hopes up too high for Midori. He’s honestly a flat character so far. But he has so much potential!!

The way I’m envisioning this theory, Sou/Midori could be trying to foil Meister’s hopes that Sara will win. (Though it’s certainly possible that Sou/Midori is simply playing into Meister’s hands, or else that he’s dutifully following instructions. We just don’t know.) What makes this theory so fun to me is that I love rebellious villains trying to overthrow the system. I also like the idea that Sou/Midori could turn out to be shockingly “concerned for Shin’s welfare,” but without ever understanding what Shin really needed from him as a friend. That Sou could have approached “saving Shin” from a point of view that is still selfish and cruel. That his actions still harmed Shin, because he never cared what Shin himself wanted.

Going back to your AU though!! If Sou Hiyori is the Mastermind himself? I feel like he could give Shin even more advantages! That sounds like such a cool premise to me. I’m sorry that I hijacked your ask to talk about this theory, haha, but I hope you found it interesting. Good luck!

#yttd #your turn to die #kimi ga shine #your turn to die spoilers #sou hiyori #shin tsukimi #sou and midori #asks #meta #mine #theories

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fullkingdomphilosopher · 3 years

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Moriarty is not dead (yet)

Hello and a warm welcome to the three people who have somehow lost their way here. You are in for a ride. (Hope you read to the end.) :)

Because today I feel the need to waste my time by sharing my thoughts about a fictional character into the void of the internet to get it out off my mind. It might get a little long and unstructured at points so please bare with me. But you have been warned. So without further ado let us discuss why (BBC Sherlock’s) Moriarty is in fact. not. dead. (I have read many illogical theories about this topic so I am not claiming in any way to have come up with everything myself. The following will be a mixture of canon facts, my own thoughts and other people ideas. Irrelevant/not so convincing information will be stated in brackets or I will probably leave most of it out. Get comfortable and enjoy.)

Let us begin at the beginning by first taking a look at the information we get about Moriarty throughout the series. Please keep this general information in mind for later. (Here I will only comment if at all very superficially. Most are only general impressions I not necessarily agree with.)

(1) One can simply summarise season ones information about Moriarty the following way:

1. Moriarty is a criminal mastermind (consulting criminal)

2. He is bored, insane, intelligent, rich and powerfull

3. Sherlock-fanboy

4. Has not too much will to live

(2) So now let us take a more or less objective look at season two or more precisely some parts of »The Reichenbach fall«.

•Near the end Moriarty sits at the edge of the roof playing “stayin‘ alive” which he then upon Sherlocks‘ arrival comments by saying: “ (...)The Final Problem. “Staying Alive”. So boring, isn’t it? It’s just… staying.(...)”.

This tells us the following (does it?) :

1. Moriarty is bored of living and wants to die

2. Moriarty has planned for Sherlock to die now

3. Both

•Later while convincing Sherlock to jump he makes the mistake to say: “ (Your death is the only thing that’s going to call off the killers.) I’m certainly not going to do it.” which leads to the conclusion that Moriarty needs to die to make Sherlock jump. And by no means do I deny that Moriarty is mad enough to go as far as to kill himself only to win against Sherlock. (If he could have been completly sure to win he definitely would do so without hesitation.) He IS insane after all.

•Before shooting his brain out while talking to Sherlock he seems very...emotional. Since he is (very quickly) convinced now that Sherlock is not an ordinary person moreover he even is HIM (Moriarty) he can/has to die now peacefully (because he doesn‘t feel alone anymore) forcing Sherlock to jump.

Okay so now let us be a little more sceptical. You are telling me that we fully accept Sherlock beeing able to fake his death with Mycrofts help and even with a list of different plans but for the guy whose LITERAL job it is to fake deaths and who has an equally high IQ (or even higher) than Sherlock, it seems unlikely? (Keep in mind Moriarty is actually the superior one in this scene. We will discuss this later.) Moriarty didn‘t even care where the two of them would meet. It‘s like you can almost hear him say: “Wherever faking your death is easier for you darling. I will win anyway.” He actually wanted Sherlock to survive because he has bigger plans for him. Just think about it: if you were a psychopath and bored your whole live and then finally miraculously you find an interesting fragile toy, would you break it quickly or rather carefully play with it for as long as it still gives you joy? Also faking ones death by a shot in the head seems possible at almost any location. Just saying. (This one is a little far stretched but if Moriarty IS Sherlock wouldn't he do exactly the same thing? Faking his death, disappearing for a while and then amazingly coming back from the dead? But let's not digress.) He wants Sherlock to survive so badly he actually helps him by giving him hints (thats what the bored kind of criminal does). Did you notice how Moriarty after saying “I’m certainly not going to do it.” (You really think he would make such a dumb mistake while not even being pressured by anything?) turns his head back and expectedly looks at Sherlock?And he doesn't do so to watch him jump. If that was the case I believe he would give him his whole attention instead of shortly looking over his shoulder, no he waits for Sherlock to get it, to react. But let‘s continue with what happens before Moriarty “spontaneously” decides to kill himself. After their dramatic chat Moriarty shakes Sherlocks hand (which confuses Sherlock) and only lets go when he shoots himself. This might be a sign for his men/snipers for scenario “fake death” so they can shoot somewhere near him or anything like that. He could have faked his death by blood pakets in his coat, drugs, sleeping spray you name it. I don't really care how he did it (it‘s pointless to spectaculate about this) but I am quite sure if someone would find a way to do this it would be him.(Another thing is that while Moriarty drops dead to the ground he doesn't let go of the gun which is rather strange...and the blood only streamed from his head instead of splattering. But let us just write this off as a movie mistake. After all everybody makes mistakes. Also things on TV probably can't be too gory.)

(3) Season three. I think this is the most confusing season regarding the information about Moriarty. First of all we indirectly get to know from Anderson (yes I know very reliable source) that Moriarty‘s body wasn't found since his theory regarding Sherlock‘s death indicates that Moriarty‘s dead body with a sherlock mask on his face was used as Sherlock‘s dead body on the pavement. And while yes this is very ridiculous I think it is strange how Lestrade didn‘t correct him on the fact that it couldn‘t be Moriarty‘s body since it was found on the roof. (But admittedly this doesn't need to mean anything. Maybe Lestrade was just too fed up with him already.) However the confusing part just starts here. If we assume no body was found then how do they know Moriarty is dead? Who gave them this information? If you take a closer look it seems only people somehow related to Sherlock seem to know about Moriarty‘s death. But on TV they NEVER mention anything about it. They only report about how Moriarty supposedly was only an actor named Richard Brook paid by Sherlock to seem smart and about Sherlock falling or jumping to his death. Okay so they probably have got this information from Kitty but wouldn‘t it be very strange if Richard Brook committed suicide on this same roof before Sherlock jumped? Why would he do that? Also while still “playing” Moriarty since he didn't wear Brook‘s clothes? Nothing I can think of makes any sense how you could explain to the public why Richard Brook decided to commit suicide there. But then again even the papers only write about the death of the “fraudulent detective“ not mentioning anything about Moriarty or Richard Brooks death. Why not? Wouldn't this cause even more drama? “Fraudulent Detective kills” (or forces man to commit suicide). More drama means more readers/viewers so why not mention anything about it? Unless there is nothing to report about it since no body was found. Good you might say maybe Moriarty‘s men just took the body after Sherlock jumped but then how did Lestrade and Anderson knew he was dead? (Or was it just a ridiculous assumption of Anderson that Moriarty was dead? Well that would be a big coincidence.) Or maybe Mycroft‘s men took it and told Scotland Yard but why not make it public then? Or maybe really noone (except for Sherlock and Mycroft) knew about his death at this point? (Wouldn't Mycroft check for Richard Brook then?) Wouldn't the reporters wanna interview Brook then? About this traumatic event he got pulled in? Drama is good not only for the press but also for an actor. Brook would love to get attention in this case wouldn't he? Wouldn't...you know Kitty notice Richard was gone and report on that if he was really dead? Wouldn't it be strange that Brook suddenly stops acting? Well we don't really get any information so from this (admitted mess) I just conclude that simply no body was found. (If you can explain this situation otherwise you are very welcomed to do so.) And you know this is really funny because a certain someone himself said that it can only mean one thing in a detective show when there is no body (looking at you Mr. Moffat) namely that the victim survived. (I suppose you could also explain everything if it indeed was twins this way: Moriarty is dead and Brook is with Kitty. But I personally am not really convinced by this. Not because Sherlock said it‘s never twins but think about it: How big is the probability for both of them beeing amazing actors? This theory that Moriarty has a twin brother is quite popular. A main argument for this is how Moriarty is left handed while Brook appears to be right handed. Well First of all he can just be ambidextrous and second Jim from IT also mainly used his right hand in the scene he was in. And the creators stated first it was planned for Moriarty to only appear in this scene as Jim from IT so it definitely is Moriarty. Or do you think Moriarty would want his twin brother to meet Sherlock? That would miss the point. Moriarty is fascinated or rather obsessed with Sherlock that‘s why he wanted to meet him. Also if you watch closely you can see how he grins when leaving turning away from Molly. His (probably nonexsistent) twin brother wouldn't have any reason to do so. So we know he is quite good at acting/manipulating. Also if you think about it it is the exact same strategy: He finds a person that is useful to him, wins their trust and gets into a relationship with them to be able to get what he wants with their help. The exact same thing he did with Molly he now did with Kitty. So that underlines that it indeed was him and not a twin brother. Also wouldn‘t a twin brother...you know...ruin the joke of the name “Richard Brook”? Anyway after faking his death he probably just stayed with Kitty and then broke up with her/left her after the situation calmed down again.)

(4) Ah yes now on to my favourite part: Season four. What do we get to know in season four? Right! EVERYTHING WAS PLANNED! So Moriarty knew(/hoped) Sherlock wouldn't die there and he also probably knew he had to fake his death because otherwise Sherlock couldn't fake his. So he had way more than enough time to plan how he is going to do it. Why don't we deal with why Moriarty killed himself now. The obvious answer in season two is that he kills himself so Sherlock has to jump and Moriarty beats him this way. Some may say he hadn't any other choice which I don't agree with. If there was a code to stop the killers then there also was one to make the killers shoot the victims immediately. Moriarty could have just counted from 5 downward and if Sherlock didn't jump in that time he would just give the command to kill John, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade. I mean what did he had to be afraid of? Beeing killed by Sherlock? Now that wouldn't make any sense would it if he decided to kill himself instead anyway? (Also it totally makes a lot of sense for Moriarty to squeak afraid when Sherlock holds him over the edge. That totally is what a person indifferent of life or without any future plans would do.) So you might be asking yourself why he would go as far as to make Sherlock believe he is dead especially when he knew Sherlock would survive the fall anyway? Why the struggle? Well that‘s simple. (That‘s the final problem: Staying alive.) He is playing a game. In case you didn't notice Sherlock played dumb/clueless in season 2 episode 3 with not only Moriarty but everyone around him since he couldn't be sure when Moriarty listens and wanted to have the upper hand in their little game. But everything Moriarty said on the rooftop was an act as well and if that is really the case he is not simply a good but a BRILLIANT actor.He had the upper hand all the time no matter what Sherlock did but he wanted Sherlock to believe that he is dead so Sherlock would feel he was superior over Moriarty. Great minds think alike. Also while yes of course Moriarty would be crazy enough to kill himself you can not tell me he wouldn't want to see Sherlock play with his sister, to see him struggle and fail. I mean his whole life purpose since he found Sherlock was to beat him so you're telling me he wouldn't wanna be there when what he has worked for finally happens? (I mean come on: he even paid over 30 million pounds in season one just to get Sherlock OUT to play and now he is fine with not seeing the ending? Why not watching Sherlock ‘fall‘? It is no secret he is OBSESSED with Sherlock.). He could still have killed himself afterwards. Also does he really trust Eurus THAT much? Okay so now you might ask why he didn't show himself in season four then. (No rush.) Patience is key my friend. (One last not very convincing thing in season four I just want to throw in: In one of Moriarty‘s recordings in Sherrinford in which he immitates a clock he stops after Sherlock screams. I guess it could be a coincidence but regarding none of the other recordings stopped showing only a quietly at the camera starring Moriarty it must be a gigantic one.)

So now if you think I am done then think again and get ready for the unstructured part of my little essay. (Yes even more unstructured than everything before.) Here follows other short information about Moriarty and clues why he is still alive from the whole show in no special order:

(- I will start with one not very convincing one you might actually have already known since you are on tumblr. The lyrics of the song “Who you really are” which plays at the end of episode three of season four repeatedly states: “Moriarty is alive”. While I believe it probably somehow is possible to change the lyrics for anyone I don't really get why anyone would wanna do this unless it is official or someone is just trolling. Or both.)

-Moriarty is soo changeable

-Moriarty is a good hacker

(-What is this strange ��Surprise, you didn't think I'd just dissappear did you?”-clip that was played after season three I believe? If it is supposed to be just one of the clips Moriarty filmed for Eurus why is the background different? I think there are actually clips of him with three different backgrounds? Why? Too much to shoot in one day? If you have any thoughts on this please let me now.)

-Contrary to some others I don't believe Moriarty is just Eurus puppet. I don't see any need for that. Eurus is just Moriartys client like many others on the show. They both have the same goal. Eurus actually was so interested in him because she noticed his interest in Sherlock so it is not that everything from the beginning was Eurus‘ brilliant puppet show. If any then it was him who used her but I don't want to dive into this topic now.

-Moriarty‘s problem is that he is supposedly the best and everyone else around him is boring and can't get to him. He is lonely and depressed. But why would he still want to kill himself after meeting Eurus? Isn't she interesting enough? Or did he still think Sherlock would beat her too? But wouldn't there then again be a point in living to beat Sherlock or kill him like he promised in season one?

-In the special “The abominable bride” I think Sherlock isn't looking after the answer to the question how Moriarty killed himself rather than why he did it. And the Moriarty in his head turns around showing him the hole in his head asking something like if it was very obvious and saying maybe he just needs a Good back comb. Back comb. Comeback. Sherlock concludes in this moment that Moriarty faked killing himself to have a good comeback. So he actually does know now that Moriarty isn't dead.

-Moriarty IS the main villain/antagonist of the show. Even after his supposed death in season 2 he still reappears or gets mentioned in most of the other episodes and even at the end with Eurus. Why would a writer do that if it was pointless? I don't think they would want degrade him if Andrew Scott‘s amazing performance even made them rewrite the script to have more Moriarty. Mister Gatiss and Mister Moffat are the real Moriarty fanboys here. They just build up tension very slowly while also getting the attention mostly off him for now. Moriarty is Sherlock‘s equal. His shadow. So he SHOULD be endgame. It is simply impossible to create a bigger villain now since he reappeared in all the seasons until now. Unless the writers plan to write at least 5 more seasons of course.

-In season four Eurus tells Sherlock Moriarty wasn't interested in living but in the impact he would have by dying. But does he really trusts her so much? Is he really okay with gifting her his favourite toy? Or is he maybe just using her as he does with everybody else? Maybe she isn't lying but simply doesn't know he is still alive.

-You might say: “But Sherlock clearly says that Moriarty is dead. Especially after the special.” Well yes he does. But (1.) he was on drugs. (2.) he really needs to believe (or rather not really Sherlock but the audience) that Moriarty is dead. Otherwise his (anticipated) comeback would be too predictable and boring. (3.) Sherlock isn't always right but I admit he is most of the time so most importantly (4.) he still keeps playing. The game isn't over yet and he needs to play safe. He keeps on playing dumb/clueless like he did in “The Reichenbachfall” where he even lied to John about Moriarty not touching or writing anything so Moriarty feels superior. We never get the IOU conclusion he worked on all the time. He kept everybody including us clueless just as he does now in season 4 to have the upper hand again or at least not to be in disadvantage.

-Then you also might say something like: “But this isn't like in the Canon.” Ah yes. The Canon. (1.) Remind me again where does it say this in the Canon? Before the secret, psycho genius sister held captive in a maximum security prison on a secluded island or after?...You get the point? (2.) Originally even Sherlock should be dead in the Canon (Which I actually think might happen in season five). (3.) It isn't even against the Canon since in the Canon Moriarty dies in “The final problem” and not in “The Reichenbach Falls”. Him dying in season two would actually be more against the Canon.

(-Since Mycroft was with Eurus alone before and isn't really on her side maybe he actually is controlled by her too without knowing so? Maybe he unknowingly even helped Moriarty? But this seems rather unrealistic. Just a thought.)

-Now something I don't really get: Eurus said apparently she was Moriarty‘s revenge on Sherlock. His revenge for what? Killing himself for no real reason? That seems not very smart. Beeing his distraction in the big boring world? Or maybe they have a history we don't know of? It seems quite possible. If Sherlock was able to delete Eurus from his mind why couldn't he have done the same thing with Moriarty?

-Why does Eurus mention Moriarty has a brother who was a station master? Why was he jealous of him? Why WAS he a station master? Is he dead now or does he just got a different job if he isn't one anymore? Why is there all this train imagery in Moriarty‘s clips? Why is that important at all? Is this foreshadowing, simple taunting or am I missing something completely? (The last thing at the end of season four we see is Sherlock and John running out of a train station but I don't know if that has really anything to do with that.)

-Fight me on this one but the ending is too perfect. I didn't buy it for one second. I mean character development and friends bla bla but you want to tell me Sherlock suddenly wouldn't be bored without Moriarty? Sure the normal cases will keep him occupied for some time but eventually sooner or later they will just bore him again, don't you agree? You can't “cure” a sociopath. And without the right stimulation he might become the “bad” guy himself or simply die of boredom.

-Moriarty WANTS Sherlock dead. Just in a slow fun way. On John‘s blog Moriarty even wonders how Sherlock‘s skull would look like on his wall. He is obsessed obviously.

-Don't get me wrong I am not sad or mad about the fact Moriarty is supposedly dead. But rather on HOW he died. His death should be something big something grandiose. I am talking a whole city exploding why fireworks spell out his name -grandious. (Well maybe not that extra but you get the point.) I refuse to believe he would be fine dying in such a simple way without the world even knowing his name. Come on. It‘s “I-dance-while-stealing-the-crown-jewels-Moriarty” not “Jim-from-IT”. If he is still alive I am sure he will die in the last season but in a more exciting way.

(-While trying to get out the information if he really has a sister out of Mycroft Sherlock let's one if them say: “Nothing is impossible.”)

-Let‘s talk about my favourite clue at the end now because I am tired. Do you remember a certain little conversation Sherlock and Moriarty had when evil queen Moriarty came to visit and dishonored Sherlock‘s apple? Let me remind you:

JIM: You know when he was on his death bed, Bach, he heard his son at the piano playing one of his pieces. The boy stopped before he got to the end ... SHERLOCK: ... and the dying man jumped out of his bed, ran straight to the piano and finished it. JIM: Couldn’t cope with an unfinished melody. SHERLOCK: Neither can you. That’s why you’ve come.

Does any bell ring with you? Sherlock is playing Moriarty‘s game: The death of Sherlock. But he doesn't play it to the end. So Moriarty will return to finish it. After all as Sherlock says Moriarty can't cope with an unfinished melody so he wouldn't die before finishing it.

All that beeing said I still also wouldn't be surprised (just disappointed because I feel Moriarty is the only one who is a match for Sherlock and could do so much more entertaining things.) if he really was dead. Because after all this is only fiction. In fiction there are often many logical explanation for events but only the ones the writers decided on will be the truth. (Unless you guys are up to rioting. Anyone has their adresses? Just kidding of course for legal reasons. I think they do a really good job with the show and while I must say I hate liars I respect artists. Imagine they would just tell us everything that would happen from the beginning. That would be boring. Looking forward to season five. I am sure we will get it before 2050. :))

So thanks to coming to my TED-talk. If you have any other helpful information I have missed, questions, opinions on this, criticism or anything else feel free to write me. And please tell me if you have really read to the end. I am curious if anyone has. :)

(Sorry for grammar mistakes and such. It has been a while since I wrote this much in English.)

#moriarty theory #moriarty #sherlock #moriarty is alive #sherlock season 5

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killiansprincss · 3 years

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Never Forget You Ch.10

Summary: Season 6A Canon Divergence.

Emma is happy. Finally happy with her parents, son and boyfriend. But this happiness is taken away from her when the Evil Queen curses her and turns her into a toddler.

Heartbroken and angry, Killian and Henry run away to Neverland to wait for Emma to break her curse. But when she does break it and comes looking for them 25 years later, she soon realises this Neverland is very different now it is no longer under Pans rule.

Will she be able to save Henry and Killian in time, or will this new ruler of Neverland keep them hostage forever?

Also on A03

CHAPTER TEN

Henry Mills was sick of Neverland. He wants to go home more than anything. So when Killian said he wanted to meet him, and then Emma somehow magically contacted him, all the pieces just fell into place.

And now Killian Jones was standing just a few feet away from Emma Swan and the entire Charming family for the first time in 25 years.

“Swan”

“Killian!”

Killian takes a look at Emma and the little brother he had met a few hours ago.

Emma looks the same as she did before she was cursed. A little more polished and not a strong lost girl in her eyes anymore. But it was still his Emma. Then he looks to David and Snow, who look a lot more mature than he remembered them.

“David. Lady Snow. Dave, you look..” Killian begins.

“If you say old, I will cut off your other hand.” David cuts him off leaving a smile on Killians face.

“It’s good to see you.” He settles on saying, still in awe that they were all here.

“Uncle Neal, come upstairs with me, I wanna hear about the uncle I never got to know” Henry says sensing the tension between his mother and Killian, gesturing for his grandparents to follow to leave the two alone.

“Swan. It's really you?” Kilian asks, still scared it’s some cruel trick.

Emma nods, trying to stop herself from tearing up. “It’s me. I’m really here.”

“You have no idea how long I have been waiting for this day.” Emma thinks he’s going to come over and kiss her, or wrap his arms around her. But he doesn't.

“Killian. I missed you so much.” Emma tells him, taking a few steps closer.

Killian takes a step back. “I can’t. This. I thought it would just be Henry. I didn't expect to see you here.”

Emma understands he’s hurt and confused, but that doesn’t mean seeing him back away from her hurts her any less.

“Henry told me everything. I know about the fairies and why it’s hard to leave the island. But we can figure it out together. Like we always do.” She tells him, slowly taking a step towards him. “We took down the Snow Queen together, we defeated Pan together, and we defeated our darkness together. Hell we even went back in time and made sure my parents met each other, we did all that together! And now, I’m here and we will do whatever it takes to take down that fairy bitch and go home. Have the future we always planned.”

She takes another step towards him and takes his handed hook in hers. They were so close they could hear each other's heartbeats.

“Killian I missed you so much.” Emma tells him, wanting nothing more than to feel the taste of his lips on hers.

“Swan. My years on this blasted Island have been the worst years of my life. But I can’t go back with you. If you take the boy, you’ll stand a chance of escaping. It’s not in my fate that I return.” Killian says despite how much it hurts.

Emma just shakes her head. “No. I can’t accept that. There is no way I am leaving this Island without you. To hell with what you think about fate, I know that is not what fate has in store for us. Zeus brought you back for a reason, okay. He would not have brought you back just so you can be in the place that makes you feel like you’re the worst person in the world.”

Killian can barely look at Emma. “You wouldn’t want me anyways. After all I’ve done. I’m not the man you deserve.”

Emma wants to laugh, “Are you being serious right now? After all we’ve been through? I made you a Dark One because I didn’t want to risk the possibility of losing you. I did lose you, twice! I came down to the Underworld to save you! And then I lost you, and that broke me. I didn’t know how I was going to survive without you, but then by a literal miracle, you came back to me! And then we were slowly planning our future together. And then I was cursed. I understand how you feel, but think about how I feel. I woke up one day with two lives in my head, not like my parents; their lives were mostly based on false memories.”

Emma takes another step towards Killian who tried to walk away. “I was having visions for years. I kept seeing this tall dark haired stranger with blue eyes. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was seeing you. I saw our moments together. I saw you because you’re my soulmate Killian my true love. If you don’t want to come back to Storybrooke with me, then that’s on you. Not me.”

“I need some air.” She says as Killian doesn't respond and goes outside.

_______________

“You doing okay kiddo?”

Emma looks up to see her father coming down the ladder, plopping himself onto the ground beside her.

“Let me guess, you heard our argument?” She asks, slightly embarrassed.

David chuckles, “walls in Neverland aren’t exactly thick like in Storybrooke. You want to talk about it?”

“What was it like?” She asks, “when you woke up from your curse? When you realised you had 2 lives in your head.”

“Well I can’t say I know what you’re going through seeing as I was in a coma for 28 years til you finally showed up.” He says causing them both to chuckle. “But I think I know where you’re coming from, I remember you telling Alex a few times that you were seeing your soulmate in your dreams, I assumed it was Hook you were seeing. It’s like when I was cursed, I knew I was married to Kathryn and we had a life together, but anytime I saw your mother I saw visions of her, of us, in the Enchanted Forest, and I didn’t know what I was seeing, but I knew it meant something, which is why I kept going after her. Though I remember you trying to stop me!”

“Hey don’t blame me! You sent me through the wardrobe, how was I supposed to know my 10 year old sons fantasies about you two being my parents was real!” Emma says laughing. This was exactly what her father did, he would make her laugh to forget about her problems. “But did you feel bad, at all? About the things you said and did when you were cursed, how did you manage it?”

“Ah so this is what it’s about. You feel guilty that you grew up loved with your brother, whilst Killian and Henry suffered.” David says stroking his daughters hair, the way he always did to calm her down in the past.

“Yeah that and also I don’t know how to deal with these two lives. It’s not like when me and Henry were in New York, those were all false memories. I was an orphan, I know I remember that, but then I also remember my life where you raised me and I was surrounded by love.” Emma was feeling so lost since waking up, and she didn’t exactly know what the plan now was.

“Well, I know that after we broke the curse, I went to Kathryn and she felt the same, guilt over something we couldn’t control. But with you, you were in control of your life with us, you made friends and bonds on your own, you need to realise that your friendship with Alex and Phillip, that is still real. But Henry and Killian are also real, they didn’t forget you. It’s been a traumatic 25 years for them, give it time and we can figure out a plan on how to defeat the fairies of this realm.”

“And what do I do about Killian?” She finally asks.

“Give him space. He knows how much he loves you, it’s clearly been hard on him. True Love never fails, always remember that.” He whispers, and Emma knows he’s right. Love always wins.

_____________

Henry was eager to get home to Storybrooke, but he was aware 25 years had passed since he was last there and wanted to know how it had changed, and if it was finally safe.

“Wait so you and my mom have matching scars because of a sword fight?” Henry asks his uncle, fascinated to know all about him.

Neal nods, “oh yeah, mom and dad were not happy. I accidentally cut her first and she started bleeding, so she begged me to let her cut me so we’d be matching and they’d be less likely to be angry.”

Henry’s smile is animated, he loved hearing stories like this. “We’re they less angry?”

Neal looks to his mother. “No. I believe you were both grounded for 2 weeks, and swords were locked up. Though I believe your grandpa, Henry gave in and gave them sword fighting lessons whilst I was at work.”

Henry smiles, he remembers when his grandpa gave him lessons, and Killian too. “Awesome! Now I’ve got a cool uncle to teach me how to sword fight too!”

“What else do you want to know? I’m enjoying getting to know the nephew I had no idea I had!” Neal asks. He was similar to Henry in the way he just accepted the fact he had a nephew and was eager to learn all there was about him.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Henry asks.

Neal does a silent chuckle, of course this is what he wanted to know. “I do. Her name is Thalia, I’ve known her since I was younger and we were rivals during High School, we hated each other, but it was after we’d graduated we realised maybe we don’t hate one another.”

“Sounds like my Mom and Killian.” Henry says looking down at them arguing. They’ll resolve whatever issue they have going on soon enough, they would never stay mad long.

“I’ll tell you about Thalia, if you tell me about Killian-he’s so cool!” Neal whispers to his nephew.

Henry grins. “Deal.

*****

“Thalia Cameron , you’re late .” Mrs. Groves, their History of the Enchanted Forest teacher, said as she saw Thalia tried to sneak in at the back of the class.

Thalia sighs. “I’m so sorry Mrs.Groves, I was working the breakfast shift at Granny’s and I lost track of time. It won’t happen again.”

Mrs. Groves walks over to her desk and hands her back her paper. “Maybe you should be focusing on your studies instead of your work. I expected better of you.”

Thalia rolls her eyes and turns her paper over. 67 out of 100. That was her worst score in a while. She wanted to do well in this class, she loved learning about where she came from and how Storybrooke was never meant to exist-but unlike most of the other kids in this class, her father didn’t have the greatest respect for Storybrooke or the Enchanted Forest.

“Hey don’t worry about it, she’s in a bad mood today. And that quiz was so hard, I only got a 73.” Neal Nolan whispers to her.

“Thanks Charming.” She smiles back.

God dammit Neal Nolan. Son of the Charmings, son of the family her father hates most.

Thalia’s father was a knight of King George, who was in charge of finding Prince James’, David, or Prince Charming as his kingdom came to call him. Thalia's father swore his allegiance to King George, and therefore hated the shepherd in disguise. Growing up she was taught to hate his family.

She was raised by her father and never knew her mother. All she knew was that her father was married to a woman in his cursed life, and when time started to move again but their memories had not returned, her mother fell pregnant. But then the curse broke and her mother abandoned her father and went back to her real husband. Thalia was born in the Enchanted Forest and when everyone was cursed again, baby Thalia turned up on her father's doorstep and was told it was his problem.

Thalia's father hated what this curse had given him, and so he raised Thalia but he didn’t love her. Thalia was a reminder that he was much happier cursed, at least he had someone who loved him.

That evening Thalia was working at Granny’s again, a double shift. She wanted to work so she could save enough money and move out when she graduated High School. She loved this town, despite her father, and loved its quirks and magical mishaps.

Although she groans when she sees the Charming Family on table 7, her section. She better get good tips.

“Hi guys, what can I get for you?” She asks as she approaches their booth.

She can see Neal grinning as she takes out her notepad.

“What specials do you have?” He asks with a cocky smile.

Thalia rolls her eyes.

“Don’t be a dick Neal, she’s just trying to work.” Emma, his sister tells him, causing him to roll his eyes.

She liked Emma, she was always really nice when she served her, she was so different from her brother.

“2 cheeseburgers, 2 grilled cheese with 2 potions of onion rings and 2 portions of fries please Thalia.” David, the prince tells her. Despite what her father told her growing up, he didn’t seem all that bad.

As she’s clearing up their table, Neal lingers. “You know I can lend you my Enchanted Forest History notes if you like.”

She looks perplexed. “What’s the catch Charming?”

Neal shrugs, “no catch. Just thought you’d need them, if you’re working here a lot and you’re getting good grades again it’ll get Mrs. Groves off your back. And then we can go back to competing on who can get the highest mark.”

Thalia smiles, “thanks, that would be great. And don’t worry I’ll be sure to whoop your ass on the next quiz.”

——

Neal's biggest regret was not having the courage to ask Thalia to Prom. They had always been rivals, but their senior year was different, they were being nice to each other and Neal hated to admit but he thinks he has feelings for her.

He ended up going alone, Robin took Alex of course and he decided he didn’t really want to go with some random girl he didn’t know that well.

“Hey Charming, couldn’t get a date?” It was Thalia. She looked beautiful in a crimson red dress and her brown hair tied up.

“No, I had a line of girls ask me and I had to turn them down.” He replies causing Thalia to roll her eyes.

“I’m gonna regret this, but do you want to dance?” She asks, Neal is as shocked as anything. “I shouldn’t mock you, I don’t have a date either. I was holding out for this one guy but he never asked.”

Neal kicked himself for not realising until years later she meant him. “I’d love to. Just don’t step on my toes” he teased

So Thalia took her hand and laced it with Neal's as they stepped onto the dance floor. The song was slow, so she wrapped her arms around Neal’s neck as they slowly moved to the rhythm.

“Wow you’re actually pretty good at this.” Thalia comments as their bodies are pressed close together as they dance.

“Well I am a prince, it’s expected of me.” Neal teases.

“God you never let that go, do you Charming?” Thalia teases back.

Neither know what happened next, except all of a sudden their lips were on each other. It’s like they’ve been waiting for this moment all their life, maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe they’ve been avoiding their feelings for a while. But it feels right.

Thalia breaks the kiss. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Neal, still flustered, just says, “it’s fine. I-I liked it.”

Whatever he said or did, it wasn’t right, and Thalia ran off and he didn’t see her for the rest of the night .

___

“Wait you’re telling me you kissed her at Prom and then you didn’t go after her? And yet you’re still together?” Henry asks after Neal had finished telling his story.

Neal laughs, “it was pretty complicated. We were kinda stubborn and wouldn’t admit that we actually liked each other. It was only when she was moving out of her father's home that I had the guts to talk to her about that night and asked her out for real.”

It was actually Neal that managed to get her out of her house. When he saw her in Granny’s and her makeup didn’t quite cover the shiner and bruised lip her father so clearly had given to her, he made her come to Emma’s house for a couple nights until they managed to find her an apartment. But Thalia’s abusive shitbag of a father was her story to tell.

“Stubbornness is a Charming family trait, you and your sister get it from your father.” Snow comments. “Let’s hope you haven’t inherited it Henry.”

“I can’t wait to hear more!” Henry smiles.

“There’s plenty where that came from, now I want to hear about my pirate brother in law!” Neal says

And so Henry launches into one of he and Hook's adventures, when they save Emma from the alternate reality.

#never forget you #cs ff #Cs fanfic #Captain swan #my writing #cs fic rec

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honey-girlie · 4 years

Text

every kind of way (jake x mc)

rating: E (for the last chapter)

chapter: 1/3

word count: ~4k

summary: To say Eris has had a rough time in the villa so far was an understatement. She really didn’t need to go and complicate things further by fancying her closest mate, but then again, her brain rarely worked properly when Jake was around her.

a/n: this is a short fic about coupling up with Jake. it’ll be three chapters long and will only cover day 11 and the night of day 12. this first chapter takes place on the morning of day 11

for the most part, it follows canon with the exceptions that my MC, Eris, has a much closer relationship with Jake, and she also makes it clear to Levi that she’s not interested in him. i also (briefly) included an explanation behind Jake’s cheating, which is entirely headcanon. otherwise, the story is basically the same as the game

anyway thanks for reading if you do!

[link to ao3]

x x x

i wanna love you in every kind of way - H.E.R.

“Oh, Christ.”

Eris stared deadpan at the telltale beep of her phone that resounded throughout the empty bedroom and interrupted whatever retort Levi was about to throw at her.

After last night’s dumping and Lucy’s antics this morning, she wasn’t in the mood for challenges or dates or whatever it was they were going to be doing today. She wanted to relax, sleep in, hang out by the pool. One day of peace in the villa seemed like more of an impossible feat than she realized.

And on top of that, Levi has been trying to rekindle their relationship after Eris admitted that she wasn’t interested in him anymore. Her feelings hadn’t been that strong to begin with, but they’ve waned since the whole Cherrygate debacle. In recent days, she could now easily say she’s moved on. Levi, however, refused to give up. It was why he was currently sitting in bed with her, convincing her that he didn’t have feelings for Lucy, whatever she might say or do.

Needless to say, Eris was having a shit morning. If the producers allowed them alcohol this early in the day, she’d be cradling an entire bottle of wine right now.

She huffed at the phone, hoping the stupid device knew that whatever text had been sent to her was not welcomed right now. Beside her, Levi appeared irritated.

“I guess we’ll... talk later,” he grumbled.

Eris scratched her nose in an annoyed tick. She’d honestly rather not, but it was a conversation she knew needed to be had.

“Sure. Later. But,” she interjected firmly, “I’ll say this one last time.” She looked Levi straight in the eye, keeping her tone gentle yet steady. By god, if they had to have this discussion again, she’d burn her hair off. “We might still be coupled up, but we’re not together and we haven’t been for a while. If you want to get back with Lucy or graft on another girl, I won’t stop you because honestly, I don’t care.”

Levi’s lips thinned as a sour expression formed on his face, but he kept quiet. Whether it was for the sake of the text or because her feelings had finally sunk in for him, she wasn’t sure. Either way, she was glad he chose silence.

Suppressing the urge to sigh, Eris dragged herself up and leaned over to snatch the phone from the table. She avoided looking in his direction as she shouted for the other Islanders to gather.

“Guys! I got a text!”

They piled into the bedroom in a matter of seconds, some with breakfast still in their hands.

“Read it out, Eris!” Reese exclaimed.

Tim took a bite of his toast before asking, “What do you reckon it is? Another challenge?”

“Oh, don’t talk with your mouth full, hun,” Jen tutted. Her expression, however, was still amused. “But I do hope we get treated for some dates.”

The two of them leered at each other, and Eris couldn’t help the pang of jealousy that hit her. That was what she wanted for herself, but it seemed like the one guy she did want in the villa didn’t want her back.

Stuffing her bitterness down, Eris cleared her throat.

“Alright, everyone ready?” she asked the group.

When they nodded, she lowered her gaze to the text and read it out loud.

Islanders, tonight will be the last recoupling. The boys will be choosing their partners.

#thefinalcountdown #holdontight

Eris’ heart sank as she scanned the short missive again. Another recoupling? After they had one just last night? She knew for a while that she needed to find a better partner than Levi, but she thought she had more time. And of course the very last recoupling would be boy’s choice. She could very well be dumped from the villa tonight.

She couldn’t stop her eyes from darting over to Jake, but she was surprised to see he was already staring back. He ducked his head immediately, looking oddly frustrated. In the next second, Jake bolted from the room without saying a word to anyone.

Bemused and crestfallen, Eris sagged. She’s been having trouble reading him more than ever in the past few days, but him fleeing from her was very clearly a bad sign.

There were a few beats of silence that were shortly broken by Jen. Eris tuned it out as her mind reeled. She ignored the excited chatter of the room and flopped backwards onto the bed, resisting the urge to groan into the pillow.

Shit morning indeed.

x x x

Eris ambled through the villa alone, wondering how on earth she got herself into this situation.

She had finished breakfast and conversed with the other Islanders in a daze, too worried about what tonight had in store for her. Since Levi wasn’t an option any longer, her thoughts were in shambles as she considered what else she could do. There was always the possibility of coupling up with Rohan as friends, but at this stage in the game, it wouldn’t be right. They both knew the attraction wasn’t there. They deserved better than that.

Eris didn’t care so much about winning. All she wanted was to find a future with someone on the show, and Rohan was not the boy to have that with. There was nobody else in the villa for her.

Nobody but one, and he had barely looked at her all day.

She’s been dealing with the particular frustration that was Jake for what seemed like half her time there. At the very beginning it looked like he was into her, offering secret glances and smiles across the room that always seemed to verge on longing. They even coupled up for a bit. Those few days with Jake, being able to cuddle up with him in bed and find excuses to touch him in and out of challenges...

Those days were undoubtedly the happiest she’s felt. To hear him say that he had wanted her to pick him too made Eris smile so wide, her cheeks hurt.

But all of a sudden, things changed. Levi was grafting on her, and Jake backed off, insisting he didn’t want to stand in their way. Eris had never been so conflicted. On one hand, she couldn’t deny that Levi was attractive, and as a conceptual artist, she was also delighted to learn that they both shared a particular love for installation art. The way he chased after her was thrilling. It was nice being wanted by one of the most eligible Islanders on the show.

But with Jake, things were so... right.

Early on, he confessed to Eris that he struggled to connect with the others, but she had no problem growing close to him. He started opening up to her after some gentle prodding on her part, then things just snapped into place for them.

While they weren’t completely attached at the hip, Eris and Jake were damn close. He cracked wry jokes, often only for her ears and told at the most unexpected times. He spoke freely to her about his thoughts on the other Islanders and their couples. He allowed himself to be more selfish when he was with her instead of trying to maintain peace around the villa like he usually did.

In the same vein, Eris was just as comfortable around him. She felt relaxed in his warm, easy presence, even when he wasn’t talking much. She enjoyed watching him do the most mundane things, like cook or take a swim in the pool. She forgot about trying, about keeping up appearances and making sure her face wasn’t sweaty or her makeup hadn’t smeared.

Jake made her feel safe enough to rant to him and be quiet with him and be herself, unapologetically, around him.

What humbled her the most, however, was the fact that he opened up to her about his cheating past.

Fittingly, he had told her about it the morning after the infamous mess that was Cherrygate. It had been early on in his adult life, barely past his 20s, and he’d been dating his then-girlfriend for almost two years. They met each other through a mutual friend, but they didn’t start dating until a few months later. Everyone had seen it coming. Everyone encouraged it too.

Things were fun in the beginning, but it didn’t take long for them both to realize they weren’t good for each other. Their constant arguments were never resolved, and their communication was never there. Jake suspected that they only stayed together for as long as they did because everyone expected it of them.

He was vague about the specifics of his infidelity. All Eris knew was that it started three months before the breakup with some girl who lived on the same street as him. When Jake found out his girlfriend had been cheating on him too, he confessed to his own affair, and they finally decided to split up. With so many mutual friends, the two of them saw each other occasionally, but they were mostly on good terms. Still, he admitted that even if they were both equally guilty parties, there were few things that hurt worse than being cheated on.

Eris wasn’t exactly torn up about Levi kissing another girl. What did make her cry was knowing that Jake empathized with her enough to share something so private about his life. The other Islanders offered their comfort in their own ways, but Jake was the only one to hurt with her. The night Cherrygate occurred, he was there, wrapping a sturdy arm around her shoulders and telling her how strong she was, how much she didn’t deserve it. The morning after was no different. That was when he permanently cemented himself in her heart.

Eris had a stronger bond with Jake than with anyone else in the villa and even some of her friends back home. It came to the point where she had grown attuned to his emotions. From the subtle wrinkle in his forehead when he was troubled to the downturn of his lips when he was confused, it wasn’t difficult for her to figure out what he was feeling. Even her awareness of his physical presence had become second nature. Her ears could make out the timbre of his voice from the other side of the villa. Her eyes could recognize his silhouette in a darkened room.

It was well-known that Jake was the most reserved Islander on the show. But she knew him. She knew him, and it was such a privilege that he allowed her.

He was sweet. Funny. Self-assured. Romantic. Supportive. Considerate. And unquestionably the most beautiful man she’s ever laid eyes on.

Jake was everything Eris wanted in a partner, and in a very short amount of time, she knew she was already starting to fall fast and hard for the quiet, cheeky chef. She had every intention of staying coupled up with him to see where they could go.

So when Jake suggested to Eris that she and Levi had strong potential, she was more than a little upset. He didn’t fight for her or their couple, and it made Eris think that maybe he didn’t want her as much as she thought.

He seemed so willing to let her go. And it hurt.

Eris wasn’t the type of person to internalize her feelings, but being humiliated like that on national television made her bite back her disappointment and put on a strong front instead. She had smiled tightly at Jake, then picked Levi for her date later that night, and when he kissed her, she didn’t fight it. She thought of the man she’d rather be kissing instead, but she didn’t fight it. Everything about it had felt off. His hands weren’t the same, his shoulders a touch too wide.

Jake didn’t seem to mind any of it. That was the proverbial nail in the coffin that prompted her to choose Levi at the next coupling. Maybe it was the out Jake had been hoping for. After all, he didn’t look all too upset when he clapped along with everyone else at her decision. And he’s obviously been getting on well with Cherry.

Eris couldn’t stop the small scowl that formed on her face. Fucking Cherry. That ugly, green-eyed monster of jealousy roared inside her whenever that girl so much as looked at Jake. But Eris would never compromise his happiness, and if Cherry made him happy, she’d suck it up.

With all of this drama happening, Eris was starting to wonder why she signed up for the show in the first place. She could’ve had failed relationships back home in Kent just as easily. She could’ve pined over yet another man who didn’t want her in the comfort of her own flat.

She groaned and tugged at her hair. Mindlessly walking around the villa didn’t help much. Besides, Tim’s constant rapping could be heard wherever she went. It wasn’t like she could escape anywhere.

Eris walked through the dressing room, her mind nowhere near concluded. But her tumultuous thoughts were interrupted at the sound of hurried footsteps behind her.

She turned. A small gasp escaped her when she saw who it was.

Jake strode right for her with a determination she’s never seen from him before. At first glance, he appeared cool and collected, but once she took in his crazed eyes, clenched jaw, and shaking hands, anticipation whirled in her stomach.

“Jake?”

“I’m sorry, Eris,” he breathed as he stopped a few feet from her. “I just — can I have a word?”

Her eyebrows knitted together. “Wha— Jake, what’s going on?”

“I have to...” He huffed and shook his head, clearly frustrated with himself. “There’s just something I need to tell you. Can we...?” He gestured to the doors of the roof terrace.

It was clear that whatever it was he needed to say was big. Jake was rarely anything less than put together, and right now, he looked like he was on the precipice of a meltdown.

Eris didn’t hesitate as she nodded. “Of course. Come on.”

They entered the terrace, luckily finding it empty. Jake took a seat, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. His clasped hands sporadically squeezed and loosened. Eris eyed him in concern as she joined him on the bench.

“Are you alright?” she asked. She’s never seen anyone in the villa look half as nervous as he did right now.

“I’m fine,” he assured. “It’s just... I’ve been thinking all day about whether or not I should say this. And it’s like — if I say it, I might ruin a friendship, or worse. It could be really bad for the villa.”

Jake sighed heavily and hung his head. He almost sounded like he was talking to himself with his next words.

“But if I don’t say it, maybe I miss a chance to finally be happy?”

Eris’ frown deepened, and she felt a fluttering in her chest, something she couldn’t name.

Confused as ever, she caved in to the urge to touch him and placed a hand on his arm. “You’re kind of scaring me. What is this about?”

Jake quieted. He stared at her hand, resting gently on his warm skin, and his gaze softened. When he remained silent, Eris squeezed in encouragement.

He exhaled quietly.

“Fuck it.”

His eyes flashed, and he whipped his head up to stare her down. She almost recoiled.

“I want you,” Jake blurted, his voice hoarse. “I want to be with you so bad, Eris. From day one... it’s always been you.”

Her jaw dropped to the floor.

For a moment, nothing else registered other than the words I want you.

I want you.

Jake wanted her?

Her?

It was appropriate that Eris’ response was just as bewildered. “Huh?” she said stupidly.

Jake ran a hand through his unruly hair as he shot up from his seat to pace around. “Look, I realize I left it so late, but it’s the last recoupling this evening and I just had to say something, even though I might’ve ruined everything I’ve tried to make in here. Plus, you had all this stuff going on with Levi and I didn’t want to piss you off or ruin our friendship, so I kept quiet about it. But I can’t anymore. I need to know, or it’ll kill me.”

He stopped pacing and took a deep breath. Visibly bracing himself, Jake turned to her, his face verging on desperation.

“Eris,” he rasped, “is there any chance for me? Could — could something happen between us?”

Stunned, Eris leaned back on the bench with her mouth agape.

Shock coursed through her for a few long beats as silence stretched between them, his confession hanging in the air. The longer she sat there, utterly dumbstruck, the more Jake’s face fell. It took her a bit, but her brain caught up as she finally absorbed what he had said.

I want you.

It’s always been you.

Something between us.

The world around her spun, but once the words got through to her, it careened to a complete halt. Suddenly Jake was the only thing she could see.

Her heart soared.

A short, disbelieving laugh bubbled out of her as the reality of his confession kicked in, and Jake’s shoulders drooped, looking like she had just kicked him in the gut.

God, he was so adorable.

Eris stood up and neared him. “Jake,” she barely managed.

He sighed and put on a brave face, attempting a weak but sincere smile. “It’s alright. I just couldn’t —”

Unable to resist any longer, Eris surged towards him and flung her arms around his neck as she crashed her lips against his. Jake gasped and froze, but once he realized what was happening, she felt his whole body shudder. He engulfed her in his tight embrace and returned the kiss with a fervor that made her stomach swoop.

Finally, she thought before her mind quieted, focusing only on the sensation of Jake’s presence surrounding her entirely. She knew him, but this... This was new territory she couldn’t wait to explore.

He moaned into the kiss, his eager hands wandering from her hips to her back until one of them traveled up to tangle itself in her hair. Her heart skipped two beats before running right out of her chest. He pulled her as close as humanly possible then closer still, and as a result they stumbled onto the nearest wall. Jake pressed her up against it, slanting his lips over hers. Eris whimpered a sigh when their tongues grazed, and she couldn’t stop her knees from buckling a little at the electrifying sensation that chased up her spine.

His hands left a fiery trail wherever they went. When his mouth lowered to the side of her neck Eris gasped, her head tilting back and her fingernails digging into his shoulders. Jake hissed in pleasure and doubled his efforts on her neck by sucking lightly on her pulse point. If not for his firm grip around her, she would have fallen over at how heavenly it felt. His responding, dark chuckle at her reaction would have done her in next.

For what felt like hours, they remained entwined in each other. Her head was dizzy by the time their kisses and frantic touches slowed down into something soft, content. When they finally pulled apart, Jake rested his forehead on hers, and they exchanged goofy, joyous smiles as they caught their breath. Whatever doubts she’d been carrying had all but vanished as his fingertips pressed into the flesh of her waist.

“Just to be clear,” he panted, “this means you fancy me too, right?”

Eris laughed. “Yeah. But I could show you again if you’re still not sure.”

His grin grew even wider, and he ducked in for another short kiss. “You have no idea how terrified I was you were going to say no,” he admitted against her lips.

“It’s always been you too,” she whispered. “But I didn’t think you liked me like that anymore.”

He briefly closed his eyes, and when they opened, they were full of regret. “I’m sorry. I acted like an idiot when we had coupled up. I somehow thought I had messed up my chance when I learned that Levi was grafting on you.”

“So you pushed me away,” she said quietly.

“I convinced myself you were happier with him, so I tried to move on too.” He let out a humorless chuckle. “Not my finest moment, I’m aware.”

Eris gave him an apologetic look as she brought a hand up to the side of his face, running her thumb over his thin stubble. “I’m sorry too. I should have been honest and said something to let you know how much I liked you, but I... I don’t know. I guess I felt too wounded.”

He nodded. “I definitely could have made things easier, but I understand. I just wish we hadn’t wasted so much time together here.”

A dry smile appeared on her face. If they had actually communicated properly, they wouldn’t have gone through so much bullshit. It was as amusing as it was infuriating. “We’re a pair of dummies, huh?”

He chuckled. “I heard this place will do that to you. It’s practically our job, right? To stir as much drama as possible.”

“Well, I think it’s safe to say we take the cake there.” Eris wrinkled her nose. “How do you suppose everyone else will react?”

“We should talk about that, actually,” Jake sighed as he loosened his hold on her. The air shifted on a more serious note. “I don’t know what the situation is between you and Levi, but we’re still coupled with different people. It wouldn’t be right to surprise them with this at the recoupling later.”

A sense of dread settled in the pit of her stomach. “I told Levi we weren’t together anymore,” she muttered. “But I still need to talk to him.”

“Yeah. And I need to break up with Cherry.”

As much as Eris hated the idea of having that conversation, he was right. They couldn’t spring this on their partners at the last second, even if a part of her thought they deserved it a little. Damn Jake and his kind heart, otherwise she would ignore everyone and spend the rest of her time in the villa with him.

“This afternoon, then,” she agreed. “We’ll have to get it done before the recoupling.”

“Right. I just don’t want to be that kind of guy. I’ve made enough mistakes in here as it is.”

Eris nodded, and when she caught the remorse in his expression, she stood on her tiptoes to gently kiss him again, feeling him smile against her lips. They pulled away, and she grabbed his wrist to press one last kiss on his palm. His gaze was full of reverence, making her heart clench.

Jake suggested they get going so that hopefully, Levi and Cherry would calm down by the time the recoupling started. With reluctance, she parted from him and wished him luck with his talk with Cherry. He squeezed her shoulder in thanks as he returned the sentiment, then they left the rooftop.

Eris walked through the villa in search of Levi, her head held high but her stomach rioting with nerves. She couldn’t imagine the backlash she’d get from both the Islanders and the audience watching, but she didn’t care.

For the future she was seeking outside the show with the man she wanted by her side, this was worth it.

#love island the game #litg #litg jake #jake wilson #jake x mc #i replayed s1 last month just to write this #jake deserves it he's my absolute favorite LI #i've been writing this for a month LMAOOO i'm really slow #but i enjoyed it!!#honeyfics

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claudiasjeancregg · 4 years

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andy wyatt headcanons?

AAAH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ENABLING MY ANDY OBSESSION!! i love this woman so much. i’m sorry this is so late! it took my brain forever! (and it’s SUPER long and rambly oops)

andy is bi. YES I KNOW THERE’S NO CANON BASIS FOR THIS but, (as you know) this is one of my favorite tww things to think about. she’s known since college, and isn’t ashamed of it- the only reason she isn’t out is because of her job as a congresswoman. she isn’t one to back down from a fight, but this is one that she knows she won’t win. she doesn’t want to be a congresswoman and then retire- she wants to keep moving up in politics. but andy sometimes hates that she’s had to keep it a secret- she tries to make up for it by fighting for gay rights on a national and state level, and never backing down. it’s one of her biggest issues, and she’s made a lot of progress during her term, which is something she’s proud of.

she has always wanted kids- her and toby tried throughout their whole marriage. she had a lot of trouble conceiving, and had a miscarriage that was… horribly painful for both of them. this is basically canon, i think- we see in a flashback that andy and toby went through a lot, and went to a ton of doctors to try and get pregnant. they both really wanted kids, and even after the divorce, they wanted them together, so andy kept trying (with toby’s permission- they discussed the decision a lot.) the twins were still sort of a miracle, though, and she was thrilled.

andy bakes a lot when she’s stressed- she doesn’t LOVE to cook, that’s more toby’s area, but she can bake super well. she used to bake with her sisters as a kid, and she keeps it up now as a break from work.

ok, so you know this one too lmao- she is in love with cj and toby, she’s been in love with them for years, and they were together before andy and toby got married. this is an… extremely rare ship, you and i might be the only people who talk about it, but i LOVE IT SO MUCH. this is why she wouldn’t remarry toby- they don’t work without cj. the two of them will always be the loves of her life, and it breaks andy’s heart that they can’t be together (largely because of their jobs, they all still love each other,) and raise huck and molly as a family.

toby and andy met on a campaign in new york- they were the smartest people on the campaign. he was her boss, and was a few years older than her, so he refused to make the first move. andy is NOT someone to sit around and wait for a man (eyes-a-fluttering, parasols-a-twirling, as cj would say) so she marched up to toby one night when they were working and lectured him on his “misguided patriarchic principles that kept him from asking out a consenting adult, etc,” before dragging him into his office and kissing him. they both felt like they won that argument. needless to say, work got a lot better after that. they lost, and andy moved on to other things (she started working towards becoming the candidate instead of getting other ones elected), and toby found another campaign to work on. but they stayed together, and later, toby met cj, and they all fell into this THING of best friends and girlfriends and politics and the place they all meet in the middle.

she is definitely better friends with cj then we see- i have a TON of romantic headcanons about these two but even in canon, i think they were really good friends. andy and cj met when they were much younger, and were fast friends. cj helped her with her campaign while she was at emily’s list, and she still gives andy professional advice (mainly in the PR area, andy doesn’t need much help with politics.) anyway, they have weekly lunches that get cancelled sometimes when they are busy- but they do their best to replace the lunches with a phone call when they can. cj is a huge part of andy’s life, and the two of them know each other so deeply that being together is something that they both kind of need to get through the week. for both of them, it’s an escape from their daily lives- for cj it’s a much needed breather from white house politics, even though she loves the people she works with dearly. for andy, it’s a nice break from working with the same people, over and over again, and being able to hang out with someone for fun, not for networking purposes. (sorry this is so long i just love them so MUCH)

she was very busy during the first bartlet campaign, but always tried to join them when they made stops near where she was. andy used to hang out with donna and cj, mostly, but she got to know everyone eventually. they used to play hilarious drinking games, and... well, she found out a LOT of stuff about some of the assistants that she didn’t know before.

andy is a lot closer with donna after gaza- she feels very guilty, at first, but she eventually realizes the only way to start getting over that was to talk to donna. and while at first it was awkward, once they established that donna didn’t blame andy at ALL for anything, their conversation came a lot easier. donna told her about the trauma therapist she had seen, just in case andy needed it. they started going out to lunch every week- or whenever their schedules permitted it, and when donna made the choice to leave the white noise, andy offered her a job. donna didn’t take it, of course. andy completely understood- she had a feeling the choice to leave was a bit more personal that she let on. the job was in washington, and, well, donna wanted to get as far away from josh lyman as she could. but she kept in touch with andy, asking for her advice a few times on the campaign trail.

she likes to watch soap operas!! this is completely random, but ihave grown attached to the thought of andy watching elaborate soap operas at home in her sweats, shaking her head as the main character is revealed to have yet another sibling. toby draws a line at her watching them with the kids, even though they’re far too young to understand. andy still sneaks it in, though- molly always stops crying when she turns it on, and she’ll take whatever method she has left.

i think she was a lawyer, but only practiced for a year or two before going into politics. andy loved law school, but she quickly realized that practicing wasn’t her favorite thing to do. when she decides to run in the upcoming election, she puts that education to good use. she loves being a congresswoman more than she’s loved anything, but she doesn’t regret the path that got her there for a second.

i loved doing this!! if anyone wants me to expand on this, shoot me an ask!! i could talk about her... forever. xoxo

#aleena answers #tww #tww ideas #tww headcanons #andy wyatt #andrea wyatt #aleena rambles

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captainsjack · 4 years

Text

here’s something no one asked for: hcs for shawn & gus based on this post:

who hogs the duvet: shawn. somehow, without fail, he gets himself wrapped up in the blankets like a burrito. he doesn’t mean to, maybe he’s unknowingly always cold at night, but he always somehow manages to get tangled. normally, gus would be annoyed, because, well, who wants to sleep without blankets, that’s no fun. but shawn also always sleeps practically on top of gus, one hand clutching gus’s shirt. (that was something that had been constant since they were kids - whenever they had sleepovers, squished in either of their beds, shawn would always latch onto gus in his sleep). so, even though gus has less than 5% of the blankets, he’s never actually cold, because he has shawn wrapped around him.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going: both. and neither. shawn and gus see each other for more than 90% of the day (canonically too), so there’s really no reason to text and call each other that much. but if they’ve split up for a case, they’ll check in, or if gus is at work, shawn will text him memes or cute dogs he’s seen throughout the day. these idiots can’t go 3 seconds without talking to each other (as we’ve seen in the psych 1 movie trailer, helLO), so it’s a guarantee that they’re either always together in person, or having some sort of conversation/meme sharing exchange over text, or are on the phone when gus has a break from work.

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: honestly, both. i don’t know what constitutes as ‘creative,’ but they’re both over the top thoughtful with their gifts. shawn knows everything there is to know about gus, and he remembers every small, insignificant, off handed, comment he’s made about things he likes. so shawn will track down that specific, first edition, one of a kind, comic book from the 50′s or something, that gus mentioned half-heartedly five years ago. (gus is, always, without fail, speechless that shawn managed to buy something so rare, and the fact that he remembered in the first place). gus is a romantic. he’ll plan a surprise vacation for them, or a super nice dinner, or he’ll get concert tickets to a band he knows shawn loves even though he can’t stand them. for gus, it’s always about the experience, since he knows shawn will at some point lose almost everything he’s given. (although he always gives a pineapple with his gift too).

who gets up first in the morning: gus (of course). he goes to work early, and meets shawn at psych later. but, when he has the day off, shawn won’t let him get out of bed until at least 11. gus doesn’t complain.

who suggests new things in bed: shawn. well, he’s the one that brings it up at least. he’s gotten really good at being able to tell when something excites gus - the way his vision darkens, shoulders tense, he unconsciously sucks in his lower lip just a bit. usually, it’s from a scene in a movie (princess leia in the gold bikini anyone?) or maybe it’s one of the costumes shawn has to wear for a case (american duos, cowboy!shawn, etc). either way, shawn can tell when gus is turned on by something new, and he’ll either surprise gus later, or he’ll pause the movie right then, hands already working on gus’s fly. (gus doesn’t get how shawn always just knows, but he’s definitely, definitely not complaining).

who cries at movies: gus. he’s a sympathetic crier, ok? he can’t help it. shawn finds it amusing every time, but then gus will just say “princess bride” and shawn shuts up. (for some reason, that’s the one movie shawn cries during, and he’s always thought he hid it well, but apparently gus has know this whole time).

who gives unprompted massages: both. when shawn gets particularly bad headaches (sensory overload), he’ll lay on gus’s lap and gus will massage his temples. when gus is stressed about a presentation or test or something, shawn will forget about whatever he’s in the middle of doing and automatically massage his shoulders.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick: again, both. it started when gus got a bad cold one winter. shawn fussed over him in typical shawn fashion, but he also couldn’t stay away, no matter how much gus told him to go so he wouldn’t get sick himself. when gus is sick, shawn curls up next to him, kisses his face, his lips, his shoulders, and eventually gets sick himself (it’s not his fault, ok? he really, really does try to stay away. but.. it’s gus. he can’t. you can’t blame him). then eventually gus recovers, and it’s his turn to take care of shawn. it’s happened so often, that whenever one of them gets sick, it’s easier for them to both just take the week off and be sick together.

who gets jealous the easiest: canonically, both. before they got together, they each had an unhealthy jealousy of the person the other one was dating. i definitely don’t need to go into detail here, just watch the show. however, this subsides once they do actually start dating. they’re both the most important person in each others’ lives, and have been for four decades. there’s a level of trust there that can’t really be compared to anything. so once the threat of a significant other (one that’s not either shawn or gus) is out of the way, there’s no reason for jealousy. they have each other and that’s all they’ve ever wanted.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music: shawn. he likes to think he’s cool, but when it comes to music, he listens to the most embarrassing things.

who collects something unusual: gus. we’re told in 2x03 that he collects coins (although coins aren’t really that unusual). something cute i noticed though, is that in 2x09, after it’s established gus collects coins, shawn and gus are playing hangman during a case, and shawn draws the stick figure as gus. when he shows the drawing to gus, the stick figure has a high top fade, and has a little speech bubble (or it could be a thought bubble, idk) that says “i love coins!”. anyway, i just thought that was absolutely adorable. for shawn, it’s not technically a collection, but he’s saved everything gus has ever given him for the past 40 years. for some reason, he’s super careful with gus’s stuff, but will have to go out and buy new socks multiple times a month because he keeps losing them.

who takes the longest to get ready: gus. he has a process, ok? the only thing shawn really does to get ready is his hair, and that doesn’t even take long. somehow, every morning without fail, shawn will be waiting in the living room for an extra 20 minutes waiting for gus to get ready. he doesn’t get it. (also when they first get together, it’s almost impossible for either of them to actually get ready because they keep getting distracted by each other and every 5 minutes they just end up making out).

who is the most tidy and organized: gus (duh). he has systems, and routines, and rules, and everything has to be done a Certain Way. shawn, of course, is the complete opposite. it’s not that he doesn’t care, really, it’s just that, well, either he forgets, or there’s something else that he’d rather be doing. this becomes a problem when they finally move in together. gus (rightfully so) gets annoyed at shawn’s utter lack of respect for the house and their belongings (like jackets strewn across chairs, shoes not on the shoe rack, dishes left on the table). eventually, gus makes a chore chart. shawn makes fun of him for it at first, but then gus gives him his don’t-even-play-with-me-shawn-you’re-never-going-to-win-this-argument look, and shawn shuts up. it takes a while for shawn to get used to the schedule and to actually remember to do things, but eventually they create a rhythm that works, and gus relaxes.

who gets most excited about the holidays: both. every holiday. they’ve always done over the top things together their whole lives - whether it was christmas, thanksgiving, halloween, or new years. the psych office and their apartment are always decorated with the tackiest and most extravagant decorations. since they were kids, they’ve always spent hours on end decorating each others’ houses together. now they get to decorate their own house.

who’s the big spoon/little spoon: it depends. when they’re watching a movie, either they’ll lay on the couch together and gus will be the little spoon, or they’ll be sitting up, and shawn will curl into gus’s side, head on his shoulder (gus’s head resting atop his), shawn’s arm hugging gus’s waist. if they’re in bed, they both kind of spoon each other. they lay facing each other, legs intertwined, gus’s arm wrapped around shawn’s waist. shawn will have his head buried in the crook of gus’s neck, while the both of them share his pillow. shawn’s hand either rests on gus’s upper-arm squished between the two of them, or he’ll be holding onto gus’s shirt. gus’s lips and nose will be squished against shawn’s forehead and shawn will smile into gus’s skin. however, sometimes shawn gets into bed later than gus, and when he does, he wraps an arm over gus side, and gus’s hand finds shawn’s in his sleep, and he interlaces their fingers and pulls shawn’s hand to his chest. shawn presses a soft kiss against gus’s shoulder and gus leans back into him. they both move around a lot during the night, but when they wake up, either gus will be on top of shawn, clinging to him like a koala, or vice versa. their cuddling takes many forms, but no matter what, shawn and gus are always wrapped up in each other.

who gets the most competitive when playing games and/or sports: gus. it’s not fair - shawn’s memory and observational skills give him an advantage. whether they’re playing those road trip dog/license plate/letter spotting games, or cards, or whatever, shawn, without fail, always wins. they’ve had to take a few hiatuses along the years after gus got particularly frustrated. however, when shawn cheats, gus always knows and then that game is banned too. they also play trivia games, and those are the ones that only gus wins. shawn gets just as upset as gus does when he loses, and that adds to their collection of Games We’re Not Playing For An Undisclosed Amount Of Time. also, shawn and gus have game nights with juliet and her girlfriend. it’s the only time they at least try to be civil, and most nights go off without a hitch (until they get home and either shawn or gus starts pouting). one of their favorite games to play is catch phrase. shawn and gus always win because they share one (1) collective brain cell and therefore only need to so much as look at each other before the other guesses the word. juliet and her girlfriend have banned that game many times as well.

who starts the most arguments: trivial, light-hearted bickering? both, always, all the time. they love it. actual, real arguments? almost never. the only arguments they’ve had are canon. shawn sleeping with joy, obsessive jealousy, destruction of relationships, whatever else has been mentioned. i honestly can’t think of anything they’d argue over. but if they do, they’re mature about it. 40 years of trust and communication allows for mature dialogue when either of them is upset. if they need to, one of them (mostly gus) will leave to cool down before they talk. but they always communicate when they're leaving (if they do) because of shawn’s fear of abandonment. the arguments never last long, and they’re honest about their feelings. the make up sex is particularly great (because like i said, these idiots can’t go 3 seconds without each other).

who suggests that they buy a pet: neither. they don’t mean to. they’re on one of their monthly bunny petting dates, and somehow - neither of them know - they walk out with a pet bunny and about a dozen toys. they name him mr. floppingtons the 3rd.

what tv shows they watch together: saturday morning cartoons. since they were five, they’ve always gotten up early together and watched them, cuddled on the couch, eating pancakes.

what other couple they hang out with: jules and her girlfriend. lassie and marlowe. sometimes the chief and her husband, or mcnab and his wife. ya know, all canon things.

how they spend their time together as a couple: the same way they’ve been spending time together for the past four decades (it takes everyone at the station about a month to even realize they’re dating now). except now they get to make out and cuddle, which makes everything 1000x better. when they first get together though, it’s hard to actually get anything done around the office. they set out with good intentions - really, they do - but it’s just so hard to work with your boyfriend without getting distracted. especially when you’ve spent the last 20 years pining over him. you can’t blame them, really.

who made the first move: don’t even ask me this, i have way too many ideas. it could’ve been 2x11 (after the whole mira thing), 3x02 (shawn’s fucking “are you kidding me, he was voted most likely to succeed. you think he’s going to date me?” you’re telling me gus didn’t ask him about that? bc boy was obviously shook). or 3x08 (gus canonically tells shawn he loves him when he’s taken hostage. shawn tries to bolt into the bank when he learns gus is in there. so much heartbreak and tension in this ep oh my god). or 3x09 (shawn let’s it slip that he only slept with joy because gus wasn’t there, so what was he supposed to do? “wait, you’re telling me this had something to do with me?” “...no”). or 4x09 (this is self explanatory, i mean shawn literally is kidnapped and shot. also how cute/heartbreaking would it have been if he called gus instead of jules). 4x11 (the whole ruby thing, i mean, come on). 4x13 (the last 7 mins of this is just gus heartbroken that shawn is confessing to jules. i mean, this guy tries to prevent shawn from telling her he loves her...). or oh my god 5x02 (goddamned gay cinema here when shawn sees gus tap dance. “that’s my partner!” uh,, shawn, buddy, literally no one in the audience knows you work together, now they all think you’re dating. you’re telling me, shawn wouldn’t have just grabbed gus and kissed him on the way to the blueberry because his love was just exploding out of him? ok.). and all the fake dating for a case to love confessions tropes??? buddy i could write novels for these two. also any time any one of them has a girlfriend, i bet the other is so obvious with their jealousy it just leads to accidental love confessions. or a “kiss me before we die?” “you can get the kiss when we survive - so move!” thing?? HOW DID I LEAVE OUT 5x16 !!!! gus’s “i don’t blame you” confession turns into a “i’ve been in love with you for 20 years and i’m not dying without telling you” confession!!!! or we can even go so far back as to shawn and gus dated in high school and then shawn left abruptly and there’s angst. and then he comes back to sb and they talk and they’re friends again and then oh, wait, i’ve never actually stopped loving you these past 7 years, fuck, what now? and then we get a married since before s1 au. or au where gus doesn’t follow shawn to san fran and they’re both miserable and shawn breaks up with jules and goes back to him and gus has a hard time forgiving him because shawn fucking left again. OH WAIT HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THE RACHEL THING!!! i haven’t seen that ep in forever but remember when henry tells gus that gus is the most important person in shawn’s life and shawn doesn’t want to share him and that’s why he sabotaged gus’s relationship?? cue gus putting everything together and marching right over to shawn and kissing the crap out of him. ALSO gus stops shawn’s wedding when the preacher says “speak now or forever hold your peace.” OR au where gus is getting married and shawn stops his wedding. or literally any possibility of them almost dying and them confessing to each other. someone stop me i’m just spilling all my wips right now. see there’s too many possibilities for these fucking idiots i-

who brings home flowers: shawn. he’ll be walking somewhere and just pick up flowers that remind him of gus or that he thinks gus will like. by the end of the day, he’ll have collected a little bouquet (half wilted) and he’ll give them gus to in passing, with a soft kiss on the cheek. it’s something he does without thinking, and something that brings tears to gus’s eyes everytime.

who is the best cook: gus. if they’re not ordering out (which is rare), gus does the cooking. once, shawn tried to surprise gus with breakfast in bed and almost burned down the house. now he’s only allowed to watch.

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vengerberggirl · 4 years

Text

A Tidbit on SaiIno and Why Ino is the Winner of that “Competition”

(Disclaimer: This is purely an argumentative “essay” about why SaiIno is a good couple. Any other couple mentioned is simply utilised for comparison purpose, I have no hatred against any of them because canon is canon and I acknowledge what has been made)

Ino and Sai are perfect for each other. It’s so sad that they’re quite underrated, but the moments where they’re together are always perfect, thanks to Studio Pierrot (gotta give credits where it’s due). I’m irritated by people who insult Ino for marrying “knockoff Sasuke”, like, bruh, Ino got the BETTER end of the deal and it’s C - A - N - O - N. In Boruto manga, Ino clearly said that she couldn’t imagine having a marriage like Sakura where the husband rarely came home. It implies that Sai is a devoted husband who always comes home to Ino, this is impressive considering that Sai is the director of ANBU who’s sure to be quite busy as well, but he doesn’t make excuses not to come home unlike Sasuke. Boruto novel also stated that Sai’s only weakness is Ino, that shows how much he loves and respects her. Even when they have arguments, they make up pretty quickly and Sai even tried to reconcile with Ino by hugging her, how romantic is that? TT_TT Ino blushed so much after that, it’s so funny to see XD Sai has come a long way since his days as the emotionless killing machine of Root, and Ino still adoringly acts like a teenager-in-love upon being given affection by her husband although they have been married for years. Their relationship clearly makes them better person for each other.

If Sai is a “knockoff Sasuke” for them, then I want him too! Who doesn’t want to have a husband who loves and respects you so much that he refuses to fight with you, who comforts you when you’re worried, who always comes home to you, and with whom you can raise your children together? Sai is clearly that person and more, he always appreciates Ino and that’s a figure she needs as a life partner. (And come on, he’s not a knockoff Sasuke, the mangaka and animators even draw him differently now, so y’all can shut up about him being a knockoff Sasuke because he’s obviously not).

We all know Ino is very affectionate with people she loves, we can see it with how she protected Sakura, how she gave Sasuke sunflower (that symbolises friendship), and how she’s willing to go for a mission to save Shikamaru and Sai. Some people take this for granted, Sasuke ignored her, while Sakura broke their friendship off at one point for the sake of competing to get Sasuke although Ino didn’t actually wanted to end it -_- On the other hand, since their first meeting, Sai appreciated her (even if it was accidentally) which then later grew to genuine appreciation after being saved by her in Shikamaru Hiden episodes. Why would Ino choose someone who ignored her, such as Sasuke, when she got Sai who appreciates her the way she is? Sai wasn’t even willing to leave Ino alone to get lunch when she got hospitalized in Sasuke Hiden, it shows how he was THAT devoted to her. We also need to remember that now Ino is the Head of Yamanaka clan and the Head of Konoha Analysis Unit, as well as owner of her family business. She’s a very busy woman and it’s good that she’s got Sai as her husband who is as committed as her to take care of Inojin together.

Now let’s compare to Sasuke, whom some people often bring up when it comes to Ino’s romantic pursuit and “losing” from Sakura. IN MY VIEW, Sasuke isn’t a golden example as a husband I actually feel bad for Sakura for having to put up with that. Yes, he’s busy saving the world, but couldn’t he at least come home once a year to meet his wife and daughter, or even, communicate with them more regularly? To train his daughter so she could be prepared for the threats of the world? And, I still find it weird that he is set up to train Boruto, but like… what about his own daughter? He’s been a missing figure during those years, the least he could do is spend more time with Sarada :( (Sorry Sarada sweetie, you deserve better, and no, this isn’t an Anti SasuSaku jab because I love their daughter anyway-- without SasuSaku, Sarada wouldn’t exist). But well, Sasuke finally tried to make it up after YEARS, and thankfully Sakura still had the patience to forgive him, thus, solidifying SasuSaku’s relationship since their relationship works for them. This, at the same time, also implies that Sasuke might not be able to have a stable marriage with anyone else other than Sakura or Naruto (No, this is not a Sasuke diss, just saying that his shinobi obligation and personality are not easy to handle).

I don’t think Ino would put up with Sasuke’s “workaholic” tendencies, hence, that’s why Ino is better suited with Sai who actually comes home often because Ino wants a marriage which works that way. Imagine if Ino were Sasuke’s wife, they probably would have divorced now, lol. So yeah, the pairings are perfect the way they are because they suit the characters’ temperaments pretty well. SaiIno is perfect the way they are too and Ino isn’t a loser for wanting to have a marriage life that fulfils her ideals and getting together with Sai who could provide her with that than any other men. We can even say that Ino is also a winner for being able to move on and find happiness for herself in her career and family life. In real life we know that moving on to find someone who suits yourself better is a good thing, it’s the same case for Ino too.

All in all, I’m really happy for SaiIno / InoSai and I’m so glad that Masashi Kishimoto and team actually put some efforts to give Sai and Ino some moments that show their love in very obvious manner in the canon materials (yes, novels, movies, and anime episodes are canon too, so, shut up), despite them not being the MCs. SaiIno might start off as a crack pairing, but they later developed into a pairing who have significant romantic moments and they seem to be having the most physically-affectionate relationship from what has been shown (e.g. the hugging scenes in Episode 189 Shippuden and Episode 140 of Boruto). Ino got what she needed in her life with Sai, and Sai learned what he needed to have better relationships with Ino. It’s nice to see that SaiIno work together so well as a couple and I hope we can see more of them in the future.

---

On a side note: Let’s not talk about that pointless competition anymore because it’s very stupid to compete over getting a boy’s attention, Ino and Sakura have become friends again, and Ino doesn’t even care about it anymore because she already got her perfect husband figure in Sai who fits her life. Sakura and Sasuke’s marriage is intact and they’re still together as well, so, there’s really no competition to be fought over anymore. Nobody wins anything because relationship is not something you should compete for.

#pro saiino #pro inosai #pro ino yamanaka #pro ino #ino yamanaka #ino #sai #sai yamanaka #pro sai #naruto pairings #canon pairings #canon couples #shipping discourse #naruto rant

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incarnateirony · 4 years

Note

In what season and episode did you realised that Destiel went from subtext to actual text?

Difficult question really. I don’t exactly have a magic switch of some weird personal set goalpost I have, and frankly, wasn’t even really a shipper, just defended shippers, until... 13.5/6. I think I started slipping after 12.19 because I’m not a moron, I don’t live under a rock, I have eyes and know what the fuck a mixtape means to Gen X. But I kept it at arms reach because even Carver era was so totally subtextual-- atop all the stuff that got cut S10 after the S9 blowout, I didn’t exactly want to invest myself as much as point out shippers weren’t crazy for seeing what they saw, especially S8/9+ and even prior the resonance of the hero’s journey over our entire human civilization and historical othering of queerness made earlier readings or notices of it completely fair even if not really like, directional by the crew?

But to begin, Carver era was when I saw /intentful and meritful construction of the body of text, via subtext, to subtextually tell a story with classic queer coding./ Because a lot of what this fandom calls queer coding makes me want to hide my face behind a quantum hole of facepalms and is often like, pretty much the reverse of what should be advocated or considered. All those retro old “he’s been written as queer from S1″ make me want to kick puppies or something because oh my god it’s Not Good, most of the content there is Very Bad And Hugely Problematic, and it’s an attempt to retroactively prove what old canon was doing without any substance.

Carver era was the shift to substance, but silent substance. Subtext that’s genuinely thematically scaffolded into the storyline in a way that while the events themselves were largely cued on subtext, consideration of that subtext was critical to understanding the full body of text and people that refused to grow into and adapt with that text as the tone shifted are the ones that got more and more confused and angry.

Dabb era was the threshold crossing into (often low-visibility) text. Fandom intentionally arguing points that require complete removal from social structures (which is everything from regional meanings of major symbols, social codes, language, or why-letters-mean-things) doesn’t mean shit doesn’t mean what it means. A mixtape isn’t subtext any more than getting on one knee and popping open a box is subtext even if they don’t verbalize the words. We know what these fucking things mean and anyone who doesn’t is in DESPERATE need of going outside and experiencing the real world before making any kind of social commentary on a body of text.

When it comes to dialogue text, Last Call is where Bi Dean or at least Queer Umbrella Dean was textualized. Again, it doesn’t matter if people don’t understand the long argued history that was put to bed about repeat sexual encounters with men, it doesn’t matter what the gender of the other triplets were, literally none of that matters. It doesn’t matter if the person understands it. It doesn’t matter if they know their queer culture enough to know their arguments were already buried. It is what it is.

There’s this disillusionment that unspoken physicalized shit like kissing or sex, or verbalized ones like “I love you,” but “I love you, in a gay way, specifically and only you, and want to be romantic with you” because every other statement of the like so far has people crying or arguing about it as not enough either.

These things are nice, but it is not the only way to deliver a textual romance. These are things we want and deserve, and people aren’t wrong for wanting them, the only wrong comes in deleting other text because it isn’t the style of text they want. 100% unhelpful.

Text in AV is complex. No matter how decontextualized people try to pretend this all is, throwing pasta at the wall and calling it an argument worth validating, AV media study doesn’t just incorporate social codes on shit like dialogue -- though anyone that applies those social codes wouldn’t be arguing anyway, as per my old post on that -- but visual language and TV literacy are a long studied topic and are just as relevant as understanding of textual/verbal language and having textual literacy. People trying to eschew these in the interest of favoring fanspaces to try to keep them equal within the canon, which is NOT what fandom space equality is supposed to be about, is just... lol.

When that soap opera reporter that doesn’t even watch the show wandered in commenting on the full mise en scene of the 15.03 breakup being classical “Dark Point in the Romance” framing, that’s not subtext. In a book, characters aren’t running around on a blank canvas. Their environments are the text.

What people may draw symbolically out of an environment varies, and if someone’s /interpretation/ holds up, that’s fine. But being able to digest the entire presentation of a work, that is to say, to read an entire scene in a book and understand their setting and the relevance of that setting is simply a form of text. And when literal fucking randos can spot classic cinematography, it’s time to consider what the full cinematic framework is telling you both in incremental minutiae of texts and in the full body of work.

So basically, I acknowledged lowkey text based on the most basic understanding of social codes, by 12.19, even if I was still kinda eyerolling about it. By 13.5/6, Castiel returned to Dean in something later echoed by Eileen for the zoom shot, but the rest of the arrangement was verbatim identical to the original ending of Swan Song with Lisa, with the only difference being “Never too late” wasn’t a verbal line, but an entire sound track they applied to highlight the scene.

Despite the Swan Song parallel ending reactives went up in arms about the fact that they weren’t having big romantic moments anymore and kinda failed to wrap braincases around the fact that the endgame reunion that was literally the ORIGINAL endgame shot, which ALSO didn’t include physicality (in fact, the text read, “this isn’t sexual at all. He’s a lost soul, and she’s his home” in the script for Lisa), and this dumbass fandom would go “SEE PROOF THAT MEANS THE TEXT MEANS IT WASNT SEXUAL AND HE JUST BECAME BEST FRIENDS THAT WAS HER BEDWARMER MAYBE SHE HAS COLD FEET AT NIGHT” and that’s not how this fucking WORKS. Common sense is NOT removed from fucking discussion and what sense is applied needs to be levelly-- again, social codes.

So at 13.5/6 I had considered it textually paramount to the original endgame arrangement. S14 was just... blatant ass domesticity. Dean got his happy ending. He had his family. He got his win, his everything. They spoke frequently in the kitchen -- only vaguely over cases, more slapping around idioms, eyerolling over barbarous eating, and occasionally discussing how to raise their son. In fact, if you look at non-research-non-casework S14 kitchen scenes I’m gonna let you sit there and map out what all those domestic moments in the heart of the kitchen was, minding 13.5/6.

It was something gained. It was their life. And it was something to lose. 14.18 already advert framed it, we all saw it. Troubled family. People delete history of what is connected where to pretend “we” is vague or makes the romance any less of a canon piece and lmao guys

And season 15 is their year long run where they’re spearheading a huge part of the plot and will be a critical final resolution.

Speaking of 13.5/6 and social codes, anyone remember that Jack hadn’t met Dave Mather and looked at one nonphysical picture of them and recognized “he’s her boyfriend”? SOCIAL CODES MEAN SHIT GUYS.

So there’s no magic moment. There’s S8/9 coding and subtext. There’s S12′s tape and other elements -- tape is just the easiest to nail down but several through the year tbh -- there’s S13′s Never Too Late, and all things that followed that in waterfall. There’s S14′s established domesticity with Castiel having essentially moved into the bunker, something that wasn’t even entirely established in S12 yet even if he was more frequent there than Carver era.

Without social codes, I could argue that “Dean loves pie” doesn’t actually mean he loves pie. In fact, I could argue those letters mean nothing, because basic social codes are what even give words meanings. Without them these are just squiggly lines on a screen. If I eschew social codes, I could take a “love me some pie” line from Dean and say it means he fornicates with children and make long convoluded excuses around it instead of the observable fucking fact that Dean fucking Winchester likes goddamn pie.

Waiting for your perfect personally dreamed magic moment for a landmark to call text generally disregards the full body of the text and merit of the work. The amount of time and effort this FUCKING shipping fandom has put into -- even Destiel shippers -- bashing down and calling blatant ass text subtext because it’s not the text they want -- just because they want to argue with people that threw the logic baby out with the destiel bathwater they thought was dirty -- it’s fucking embarrassing tbqh. Imagine if people’s competitive fandom BS was muted how anyone here would be addressing this body of text.

Like. “After Carver directed Misha to play Castiel as a jilted lover in season 9, Cain through S10 escalated it into Castiel as Colette, which was confirmed by both the author and actors, seating him as a lover, as Sam was Abel the brother; by season 11, pining and connected hearts becomes the driving theme of the show, repeatedly denounced both in text and showrunner commentary that it wasn’t Amara that was that romance, and instead, a different one rose; by season 12, domestic arguments were many, mixtapes were shared, coming into rooms and playing people for things secretly stashed under pillows were a hinging plot moment, by season 13 he was the Never Too Late Big Win as a far more powerful version of Lisa, by season 14 Castiel moved in, by season 15 their giant sacred marriage euchartist ceremonies on repeat are driving the entire body of the season while overtly making the straight pairing a secondary parallel to the primary Dean and Castiel pairing by 15.09 such as the AU scene, or the ending where they mimicked the same phrase, truncated by physicality. But anyone viewing this text is an adult not competing for their preferred fandom playbox to be considered in the text, and had eyeballs, saw Sam and Eileen were clearly courting, flirting, and/or romantically engaged for a long time before this.”

Can we hope for the equality in that, sure. I want that, sure. That doesn’t erase all the other modes of text before that though.

But there, I just addressed 4 consecutive seasons of storytelling as its stands in the critical themes, without breaking down the dozens of independent scenes themselves that have already been analyzed to death and yall have scorched in your eyeballs by now like angels have prophet names.

I’ve seen people desperately, desperately try to reinterpret this text, or this story structure, in inconsistent ways that fall short. They’re never held accountable for their entire shit falling flat on their face, they just keep building new shit that falls on its face too and keep using it as a base. People can *interpret* ~text~ however they want. Anyone that tells you that “true text is inarguable” is either an idiot or selling you something for your subscription to their blog. Anyone CAN make any jackass interpretation of anything they want.

So sure. You can make some nonsensical explanation around every core theme their relationship is shadowed by, removing all social codes and context from basic elements understood by adult human beings natively, whatever. You can take 200 pages writing around it and degaying it. Generally when I see this, I see unhinged, incomplete writings with no central thread, just a thousand disembodied excuses that don’t even make a story. They’re just that. Desperate excuses. Years of it at this point. And they’re free to /interpret the text like that/ if they want. But that’s their /interpretation/ of a /text/ and as-above generally in /intentional, willful, conscious denial and erasure of the basic social codes we all understand./

Just because they /can/ warp the most left field interpretation doesn’t make it not text. If I pulled an “I don’t know I can’t english suddenly” and threw those codes out the window that doesn’t mean that the shit doesn’t mean the shit it means just because it’s inconvenient to me lmao

And this isn’t necessarily at you, Nonnie, I just feel the need to expand on this because any single time I don’t nail down these conversational stakes, someone breezes through and intentionally hotboxes the conversation to go down these very predictable manipulations and extremizations of the conversation that I really am far too tired to repeat the arguments raging in my mentions again, so I head ‘em off before the shit ever reblogs.

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ettadunham · 5 years

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A Buffy rewatch 3x19 Choices

aka everyone’s just dying to give each other a piece of their mind

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and rant about it in 10-3k words. What you can expect: long run-on sentences and disjointed observations, often focused on one tiny detail about the episode. What you shouldn’t be expecting: actual reviews that make sense.

And I’ve been waiting forever for today’s episode to finally discuss some quality Willow and Faith feelings... And it turns out that it was just a 2-minute-scene all along? Still, we’ll be making the best out of those 2 minutes, folks.

There’s actually a lot going on in Choices, but I want to get the main rant out first, before I get lost in all the small details of it.

So... Willow and Faith.

Fun fact, did you know that that is actually the 5th most popular BtVS F/F pairing tag on Ao3? Right after the popular canon, the popular “it’s basically canon and you can fucking sue me” ship, the pairing of the two main female characters (shout out to the Wuffys, I got you) and the less popular canon ship.

Which... wasn’t really what I was expecting? I mean, I also wasn’t expecting #6 being Faith/Dawn (having a 2 fic-lead on the ultimate OTP because you’re all heathens), so I guess I know nothing.

Some of those switch though if you filter for the F/F category, look, I have charts:

(Meanwhile Buffy/Kendra has like 12 fics, you really are all heathens.)

Anywho, thanks for coming to my Ted talk about the math of Buffy femslash. Now, back to Willow and Faith specifically.

Once I thought about it, it did make sense that this is actually a popular fandom pairing I guess? On one hand, it’s a common denominator situation, as in note which characters pop up consistently on that chart... On the other hand, in this episode alone Willow taunts Faith to which she responds by punching her and threatening her with a knife... And that’s pretty much how foreplay works as far as Faith’s concerned.

Faith just likes it rough, okay? Remember the screencap I used for Consequences after Buffy punches her?

I rest my case.

But I’m already way off topic here. Because what I was actually planning on talking about initially was how Willow felt about Faith, and the source of those feelings.

I already pointed this out, but I feel it’s worth repeating - Willow’s dislike of Faith goes back to two episodes in particular: Bad Girls and Consequences. As far as I was able to discern this time during my rewatch, there were no previous signs of animosity between the two preceding that two-parter.

In Bad Girls, Buffy blows Willow off for their study session to go out with Faith, and starts rambling about how Willow and Xander wouldn’t understand anyway what she and Faith do.

Willow is deeply hurt and jealous... She actually blows Buffy off too in return when she tries talking to her at school in the next episode, and only listens once Buffy shows up crying at her doorstep not knowing what to do about the whole Faith killed a guy situation.

In the same episode, Xander lets it slip that he and Faith had sex... And Willow is once again obviously hurt and jealous. She even has a good cry about it in the bathroom.

And I guess that that seems like a stronger emotional response than how she reacts to Faith stealing away Buffy from her, but it’s still coming from the same place. Note her line in that episode when she acknowledges her biases:

I'm not the most objective, I know. I kind of have an issue with Faith sharing my people.

“Sharing my people” - she’s pointedly talking about both Xander and Buffy here.

And there is a specific kind of betrayal that she feels from Xander, and that’s going to translate to pretty much all of Xander’s relationship... But at this point, it’s not really about her wanting that relationship with Xander. She had the option and she rejected it.

Still, if Xander has that with someone else, that makes their shared experiences feel less special. It makes her feel like less special in his life. (Which unfortunately tracks with a lot of Xander’s behavior about how he’s always chasing the new, shiny and unattainable thing in his life.)

Meanwhile with Buffy, Willow is mostly supportive of her relationships... up until to the point that she feels like they’re taking up the space that she occupies in Buffy’s life. And that very much happens with Faith in those moments, as Buffy suddenly feels like she can’t share with Willow what she and Faith has. (I swear, I’m not even trying, these sentences just turn out this way.)

So... yeah. Willow is super pissed at Faith for having the audacity to try and take away her people from her, and then hurting the both of them.

And I guess we can see some of that same kind of jealousy with Faith (I can and I will read parallels into Willow and Faith’s characters, just you wait) and her whole thing with Buffy and Angel in Choices... Except it’s weirdly misdirected? Like is the Mayor and the show seriously trying to tell us that Faith is jealous about Angel not wanting to make out with her, when that whole thing was all about Buffy in the first place?

Really, Mayor Wilkins? Really?

Well, I guess he is evil.

Back to Willow though, we have this scene where she gets taken hostage, and after she murders her vampire guard with a pencil (amazing), she decides to get comfortable in the Mayor’s office and read through all 5 tomes of the Books of Ascension??? It’s such a delightful nonsense.

Of course, I’m definitely with her on the whole “knowledge is power” notion. Even if they were to prevent the Mayor from having this Box of MacGuffin, there’s no way to tell if that would actually stop the Ascension. But knowing what’s to come and what they could do about it? That’s a definite win.

The issue is that as Faith puts it, being caught red-handed while gaining that knowledge makes Willow some very strong murder material for the bad guys. She could’ve just put the books in a bag, and tried escaping with them, or get the hell out there the moment she discovered those sensitive pages.

But do you know what I think? I think Willow just wanted to have the chance to confront Faith. She was ready to die just to give her a piece of her mind.

Willow: It's way too late. You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends in your life like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big selfish, worthless waste.

That’s commitment.

Notice also how she highlights Faith having Buffy in her life and not appreciating it enough to keep fighting. I do feel like Willow is deeply offended by that. I talk about her jealousy a lot, but her commitment to the people she loves is usually her more dominant character trait. Feeling like Faith stole her friends from her hurt her; but her anger mostly comes from the fact that Faith hurt Buffy and Xander in unimaginable ways.

I guess this episode did give me a lot of Willow feelings.

Someone else who shared Willow’s need to impart some wisdom in the most inconvenient times was the Mayor. And honestly? I didn’t care a whole lot about it. Angel and Buffy has a million other conflicts that come before him being immortal.

Like, I get that it’s supposed to shake them out of their own little bubble a bit, and face the fact that they don’t really see a future together. I believe the phrasing I previously used was that being together prevents them from becoming the people they want to be.

Their initial exchange at the graveyard is kinda hilarious though. “You never take me to any place new” - I’m still laughing, ngl.

At the same time, Xander and Cordelia still appear to be having their bitter verbal conflicts. Which is weird, especially after Earshot, an episode that I praised for including Cordelia in the group once again. (I guess maybe Earshot was written with a different place in the season in mind for it initially? I know that it didn’t air when it was supposed to too, because of the school shooting aspect...)

Here, the two of them are once again out to get each other. Even Buffy ends up in the crossfires, as Cordelia aims one of her pointedly cruel jabs at her. Yikes.

But we also find out here that Cordelia is working in a dress shop now, so there’s that.

And this episode of course is also about everyone’s futures. Willow decides that despite being accepted into literally every school ever, she’s going to attend UC Sunnydale with Buffy. Not just to be with her, but because she enjoys saving the world and all that jazz.

Oh, Willow, if you only knew...

This of course also presents a welcome contrast for Buffy, who feels like she doesn’t have a choice but to stay in Sunnydale. It’s a really nice moment between them, as Buffy realizes herself that she too very much made that choice herself. Because that’s who Buffy is. Someone who could never turn her back on the people who need her.

Buffy: I kinda love you.

We all do, Buffy. Just ask Oz, and his decisive ingredient smashing move that annihilated the whole argument about whether or not they should rescue Willow. (”That’s your future wife!” - me @ Alexis Denisof in that scene.)

Also, shout out at that whole Mission Impossible heist premise we got going on in this episode. I always appreciate a weird clash of genres.

#buffy rewatch 2k19 #btvs talk #btvs

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justanotherdaylikeanyother-blog1 · 5 years

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You may have answered this one and I missed it, but, given your issues with KR, how would you have written the last book? I realized when looking through my AO3 bookmarks that I've read a number of fan fics picking up from PG that do a better job than KR, which is a little depressing.

I’ve talked about specific ways I think certain scenes or themes should or shouldn’t have been handled. But it’s true that I’ve never said ‘this is how I would have liked to see KR go from start to finish’. I could happily write it a lot of ways, tbh, if only I had the time and the motivation. And, as you say, there are several good takes on it out there already. So I’m not going to detail what I would do from start to finish, because that would be a very long fic plan for a fic I’m not even going to write, in effect.

What I will say is how I would probably have ended it.

I would have written Damen and Laurent having to lead a proper military stand to take back Ios towards the end. I felt like that was what the whole series was leading to from Damen’s PoV, and it never happened. The focus just mostly stayed on Vere and its politics even once they entered Akielos. And that’s very different than when I wrote The Veretian Flytrap and only referenced the reclamation of Akielos happening off-screen, say, because that was Laurent’s story. Canon is Damen’s story. I think KR forgets that a lot of the time.

Anyway, if we want to claim Laurent and Damen are equals and have committed to an alliance despite their differences up to that point, then I’d want to have that actually play out with them having to fight a battle side-by-side in full awareness of their respective identities and ranks, and after what’s happened between them romantically. I’d want to show how they’d find a way to manage working together (including the tensions of not being able to do so easily, at least at first) when they’re both almost-Kings with their own armies rather than when they’re acting as Prince and slave or Prince and Captain in a supposedly directly hierarchical relationship. Laurent would still want to have ultimate control and the final say on things even if he was willing to rely on Damen for his experience in battle, because that setup was how it had always been between them before. But Damen wouldn’t stand for that now that he’d been acknowledged as a de facto King. I’d use all that drama, and the battle itself, as an opportunity for them to work through some important shit, because they’d have trouble winning a war if they’re in the middle of a power struggle between themselves, or if they’re just plain not coordinating well together. Eventually they’d find some middle point that worked for them, combining Laurent’s out-of-the-box random strategies that Kastor’s side couldn’t predict with Damen’s tactical experience and fighting skills (and his incredible good luck in battle).

And hell, using the looming prospect of the war, I could also address the reasons why, on the other side, people would have to have been literally willing to lay down their lives to fight for Kaster’s side against Damen, despite how Damen should have been the rightful King. We know that Kastor seemed to have followers, especially further south, who were willing to ignore the holes the size of canyons in Kastor’s revisionist story about Damen being the one to kill Theomedes. There had to be actual reasons why they would either believe it or ignore the obviousness of the lie. Simple enough to explore that when it came time for the clash and characters either changed allegiances to Damen or refused to do so. And I’d love to explore Kastor’s character and motivations more and potentially make him an actual three-dimensional character.

Most of the things I have a problem with (Jokaste’s ‘redemption’ and the baby, the Kingsmeet, the complete lack of due process inside Ios before the Regent’s execution, etc) can all be dispensed with if we acknowledge that the climax of the story could have actually been a climax, since they were all there at least partly in service of getting Laurent and Damen inside Ios. Why was that necessary? Why not draw Kastor out instead? It’s Vere, not Akielos, who stood accused of hiding in their forts. And Kastor’s fought a war before. He would have looked weak if he tried to shy away from it. (And no, I don’t think it’s a valid argument that they had to get to the Regent inside Ios as well, because I’m not a fan of him being there in the first place.)

And if it really was so thematically important that Laurent prove himself worthy of redemption/sacrifice himself for Damen/kill Kastor, isn’t all of that logically able to play out in the context of a battle? I wouldn’t write it like that, personally, but Pacat could have, if she’d insisted on it.

I’m not saying that finishing on a war wouldn’t have had its political problems in the long-term, of course, because civil war is never a good thing. But there was, in effect, civil war in the south of Vere, so it’s not unprecedented in this story for them to accept that path when there’s no other decent option. And Akielos practically was one step from that stage anyway, it would seem, even before Damen showed back up alive. So I’m not sure it would have been considerably harder to recover from it than it should have been to politically recover post-canon. And if it was massively difficult to get past it? That’s fine. Just address it in the short stories. That would have been interesting, imo.

#answers #captive prince

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sanders-specs · 6 years

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Sander Sides’s Fatal Flaws (a character analysis)

So I was doing some thinking about characters and their fatal flaws. Every character has one. Heck, every human has one (or more). I always like to think of what my character’s fatal flaw is, since that’s usually a pretty good place to start when figuring out their weaknesses. The character in question was Patton, though my Patton in one of my fics. This of course got me thinking of all of the Sides’s -- not the “fanon” (for lack of a better word) version but the characters in the videos -- fatal flaws.

Now, these might seem and probably are extremely obvious. Usually, from what I’ve seen, these types of character traits are usually just seen as weaknesses or, well, flaws. No character is perfect after all. But in this case, this would be the flaw that, in a life or death situation, would end up being a huge obstacle that could potentially lead to the latter (hence the word fatal in the title).

A few disclaimers before I get into it: I’m going to be looking at the Sides individually as characters, not as the extension of a person or how it affects Thomas. Some comparisons to each other are inevitable, however. Also, I will do my best to look only at the canon content and not delve into my own personal headcanons or the general view of how the Fanders see the sides. If I stray from that at any point, I apologize. Deceit will not be on this list, mostly because he’s only been in one video, plus the split second he showed up in another. Not much I can do there, I’d need to see more of his character. Lastly, this is just my interpretation. If you disagree or have a different idea, please add on! I’m all for a good debate, and this is just coming from one mind after all.

Everything else will be under the cut because this is already way too long.

What is a Fatal Flaw? According to Dictionary.com, a fatal (or tragic) flaw is a character defect that causes the downfall of the protagonist of a tragedy. You usually see it used in the context of Greek epics. Odysseus, for example, was extremely prideful (it’s probably the most common fatal flaw...and yes it’s on the list). It was his pride that caused him so many set backs in getting home after the Trojan War. Penelope's, you could argue, was her faithfulness (remember, we’re not looking at good vs. bad traits here. A lot of these can have double meaning).

Okay now let’s look at the sides, starting with no other than Princey himself:

Roman: Pride but with ego. I went back and forth a lot with Roman. His arrogance, cockiness, and stubbornness are not to be ignored, but I think all of those stem from his pride. He wants to be the best, he wants to believe that his ideas are top notch. He doesn’t like to be proven wrong, one of the reasons he and Logan butt heads so much. He’s afraid of people being better than him, of not being good enough. If you look at his argument in Why Do We Get Out Of Bed In The Morning, he’s willing to do anything to reach his goals, to prove himself. In Am I Creative? he struggles with accepting help from others, or admitting that he needed help at all. If anything (and this is more speculation than anything) he wanted the others there to show off, only to be proven that he couldn’t even do that. Everything from the Mind Palace to the Christmas sweaters, he doesn’t like to admit that Patton had a hand in those. He wants to take most of the credit. You could even argue that he’s where Thomas’s pride comes from, though part of that might also be held in another side. And in a fight? he’d have to be the one to win, no matter the costs (again, see his argument in Why Do We Get Out of Bed. why wouldn’t he get reinforcements, Logan? Pride).

Virgil: Negativity. Kind of obvious, I know. Anxiety makes us think thorough the worst possible scenarios, it can make it hard to look on the bright side of things. Heck, one negative thought for some of us can lead to a downward spiral. It’s exactly that makes him leave in Accepting Anxiety. He was convinced that he wasn’t wanted or needed, so he left. In the Christmas video, he refuses to sing, even knowing how hard Roman worked on it. He has to point out every flaw in Roman’s plans in Am I Creative? or counteracting Patton’s ideas of getting older in Growing Up. He makes the others doubt themselves. Even after Accepting Anxiety pt. 1 and 2 he constantly makes negative comments. You can say it’s his job, and yeah it’s just his character, but that doesn’t dismiss the fact that Virgil is a very negative character. all of his self doubt, smartass comments, and even the anxiety itself all comes from this negative aspect of his. In a fight he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything other than everything going wrong. Also, yeah, I haven’t forgotten about My Negative Thinking. Kinda drives this entire point home.

(disclaimer: I’m not trying to say here that if all of us with anxiety just thought positively that it would magically make our anxiety go away. I know that that can be very very hard. But you know, Patton’s positivity rivals Virgil’s negativity, so there’s a reason they work well together. Also remember that Logan’s counter points in his video with Virgil are nothing to be ignored)

Patton: Forced Positivity. Now before i get into it, I’d like to acknowledge that i realize this has been addressed a bit in the videos, however we haven’t really gotten to see Patton post his arc that much yet, so I really only have so much to work with. Anyway, let’s get into it. We’ve all seen it, we’ve all noticed it. Patton is excessively positive. Almost annoyingly so. He might point out a flaw here or there, but he does it with a smile on his face. He constantly tries to get Virgil to look on the bright side of things, and makes light of things in serious situations. As we’ve seen from Moving On, focusing positively on one thing but ignoring the negative aspects of another isn’t the healthiest thing in the world. Even when he’s clearly being ridiculed from one of the others, he just smiles and lets them instead of making them stop. In Growing Up, his views on the subject are proved to be excessive and not serious enough for the age Thomas is. It’s likely because of this that the others (namely Roman and Logan, though Virgil isn’t innocent either) don’t take him all that seriously. In a fight, it wouldn’t be physically hindering, but mentally. It’s incredibly hard to keep a positive outlook when things are at the worse, and it’s mentally taxing, especially if you’re just trying to ignore the problem like Patton tends to do.

Logan: Pride but with knowledge. Logan very much wants to be the smartest person in the room. He wants to have all the facts, all the answers. If he could get through all of Thomas’s dilemmas himself, he would. I’d say he almost begrudgingly calls on the others for their perspectives. He has to be right, all the time, and he hates it when he’s wrong (see: Losing My Motivation and the Moving On videos). Even when he’s wrong, he has to be right about the solution (again, Moving On). One of the reasons the argument between him and Roman got so heated was because they were both too prideful to concede any kind of point to the other. Each of their perspectives had to be the only right one. Neither of them - even Logan, the actual embodiment of Logic - could let the other “win” in any way, shape, or form. In Accepting Anxiety pt 2, as the anxiety for the other sides were getting higher and higher, Logan still had to get his point across, still prove that he knew exactly what was going on and what they needed to do to fix it. Put in a situation where he needed to put his hubris aside, i don’t think he could. Especially if it was against something challenging his knowledge. Just think about how upset he got when the others were ignoring him and dismissing his logical thinking in Moving On. He straight up left the scene, too annoyed and frustrated to stay.

Wow! That went on far longer than I thought it would. I feel like this also shows just how well the Sides work together. Since they ARE the extensions of a person, the fact that they all have some similar fatal flaws doesn’t surprise me. They all work to balance each other out, which is the beauty of Sanders Sides, since we get to see just how one might balance so many different aspects of themselves.

Again, this is just my interpretation. It’s okay if you disagree with me. And hey, if you want to add on something or counteract any of my points, go ahead! I wrote this mainly from memory of the sides in the videos, though i did have to double check some things, so this is far from a perfect analysis.

I hope you all have a lovely day!

#sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #thomas sanders #character analysis

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