#goncharov (1973) (2025)
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Reminder that the (non-imaginary) Goncharov remake project is recruiting! Check out the list of roles in the following google doc, and then join the discord in my pinned post :) Anyone can help make this fever dream a reality.
Please signal boost! (but no pressure)
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I'm having fun with this meme format
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So I used my time machine (which is canon to my blog but which can only be used for shitposting; there are reasons, don't worry about it) and I went ahead in time three years to see what was up with the Goncharov "remake," aka Goncharov (2025), aka the Meme that Became a Real Movie.
Well, things started out promising even though Martin Scorsese simply would not bend to pressure and direct the Meme Movie, but when the Safdie Brothers DID sign on, it was with Scorsese's blessing. The script appeared to bounce around through most of 2023, there were three different writers attached in the span of five months, including Ronald Bronstein, Steven Zaillian, and most exciting at one point, Gillian Flynn. Most industry people really expected it to eventually fall to Zaillian, and that all of the hot potato was simply premature reporting. Put a pin in that.
This was around the time (July 2023) that Tumblr launched the ill-fated (to put it mildly) crowdfunding campaign so that user @tuvuofa, maintainer of the Goncharov fan wiki, could drop out of college to finish their screenplay, and move to Hollywood just to pitch it. @tuvuofa stole $21,000 of donations before deactivating their blog, deleting the wiki, and disappearing. A few blogs have since claimed to be the vanished scammer, offering hivliving-ian tall tales to explain the events. None have truly passed the sniff test.
September 2023, the film was officially announced to have its stars, and this is where the trouble started. Robert Pattinson as Goncharov made sense, was a Safdie mainstay, and most were excited about this casting. There were exceptions. Case in point:
So we had Pattinson as Goncharov, Florence Pugh as Katya - fine (the age gap discourse was heavy but brief), Avan Jogia as Andrei (we'll get back to that one), Jake Gyllenhaal as Ice Pick Joe, Nina Dobrev as Sofia, and Taylor Zakhar Perez as Sascha.
Altogether, not bad. The cast was, for the most part, young, and a lot of them had proven acting chops. Even before principal filming started Goncharov (2025) was being hailed as the next "it" movie.
Then, the trouble began. Robert Pattinson elected to drop out, the provided reason being Batman filming obligations even though the new Batman was already in the can by February 2024. This was bad sign number one. We all wondered "who's gonna play Goncharov now??" and at the same time we all were thinking "please not Harry Styles"
Well, the monkey’s paw being what it is, it wasn't Harry Styles, but it WAS Timothee Chalamet.
Then, the script drama. After Chalamet joined the film, we started to hear about rewrites. Nothing really added up, but we went along with it. Two weeks into principal shooting, the story breaks that the script still isn't even COMPLETE, and that studio meddling has been turning the movie into less of a tense, emotional crime drama with fleshed out characters and implied complex relationships, and more into a CW-esque melodramatic romance that just so happens to be set in the world of organized crime. In Naples.
So as soon as this story drops, Robert Pattinson metaphorically jumps the fence of his enclosure and admits he was 100% lying about leaving due to Batman obligations, trashes the script as it was when he last saw it, and blows the whistle on the biggest bombshell to date: the Safdies aren't even attached anymore.
Look, I'll make a long story short since the Time Cops are probably going to come in here blasting at any moment. Here’s the future of Goncharov (2025): the movie debuts to what can best be described as critical bemusement. Returns are paltry given the hype. Avan Jogia delivers the performance of his life, and his career enters its own Pattinson Arc of Respectable Unhinged Roles. Still, everyone agrees that he seems to be acting in a Completely Different, better film. The way he punches the wall during the Train Scene becomes a meme unto itself, as everyone is convinced he was channeling real anger in that moment at how wooden Chalamet's performance was.
Time machine didn't have the juice to pop over to 2026, but last I heard a major campaign is underway, similar to #ReleasetheSnyderCut, to fund the Safdie helmed, Zaillian written, Pattinson starring version of Goncharov.
Discourse is split between the camp that's pissed off because the IP is now owned by Legendary Pictures, so it won't "really" be Goncharov, and the camp that's thinking "finally the characters can be Neapolitan and things will make sense" because they didn't even read the synopsis of the movie. It's about the Russian mafia IN Naples, idiot.
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THEY ARE REBOOTING GONCHAROV????
#im honestly not sure how to feel#like its a classic#i don’t want them to ruin it#its already in production apparently#goncharov 2025#goncharov 1973#goncharov#martin scorsese
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you know going by how ratatouille musical happened on tiktok it’s only a matter of time before someone films, pardon, remakes ‘goncharov (1973)’. maybe even with martin scorcese as the director.
to which i propose, the funniest outcome would be some movie site like imdb or whatever, having to put “Goncharov (1973) (2025)” as the title
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When the film comes out in like 2 years they'll call it Goncharov (1973) (2025)
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*for information on our current plan for payment, look at this google doc
This poll is to gauge interest in any level of involvement, in any role. To see roles listed so far, look at this google doc. Feel free to suggest new ones!
Links to: the "would you watch it" poll, the "would you support it" poll.
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Hey, everyone who wants to help with the Goncharov (1973) reimagining!
I've made a discord to discuss the project:
(finally looked up how to make a permanent link)
There are 60 of us on the server as of 12/30/23, but we're always welcoming more! (Recruiting in all roles. See the full list of general roles here, and ofc there are always miscellaneous tasks.)
Here is the official tumblr: @goncharovproductions
New script writing doc:
Interest polls:
Would you watch the movie (results)
Would you support the movie (results)
Would you help make the movie (results)
Casting Call
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Reminder that, instead of an imaginary shitty remake with Chris Pratt, you could have a very real hopefully good remake made by a bunch of weirdos on tumblr. Then you could see Goncharov!!
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Not "do you think it would be good," but "would you be interested in seeing it"
We did posts to gauge interest the first year, before starting the project, but now polls are a thing!
#I think it will be good but I wanted to make sure the quality pessimists won't be voting on that alone#goncharov#goncharov (1973)#goncharov remake#goncharov (1973) (2025)#poll
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For data on supporting by helping make the movie, that will be an entirely different poll, so pick whichever option is the most applicable here, and then wait for that poll to be ready! (Edit: It is here.)
For data on whether you would watch the movie, that poll is here.
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I hope you don't mind that we're going ham on the homoerotic subtext. This will be the gayest non-canonically gay movie anyone has seen
#goncharov remake#gonchmovie#goncharov (1973)#goncharov#we're trying to be faithful to the original#so we couldn't have them make out on screen but trust me we wanted to#it's so good as subtext though <3#the script also isn't done yet so if you want to help make the subtext any MORE uncomfortably intimate#it's like they're saying things with implications for the plot but ALSO it's like you're watching lovers#anyways the script writers are doing a+ work so far#i promise we do actually pay attention to the plot as well#i'll stop rambling now#goncharov (1973) (2025)
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Time for a pinned post :3
This is the dedicated Tumblr blog for Gonchmovie (a group working on a Goncharov remake).
Disclaimer: This page might be meme-y, but the project is real, and the intended result is a serious movie. For those hoping for a 4-hour-long internet comedy...I wish you luck on your own Goncharov (1973). For those wishing to see Goncharov in real life...this is for you!
Things we will post:
Updates on our project
Events and opportunities such as auditions
Bits of the script and things we've made so far
Questions and surveys
Answers to ANY AND ALL asks (go wild)
Goncharov-related resources and links
Support for other Goncharov projects
Reblogs of our favorite Gonch content <3
Some of our own gonchposting (uwu ...sorry)
Things we will NOT post:
Negativity about other Goncharov projects. (Goncharov is a million things and nothing all at once. We all have a different Goncharov (1973) that lives in our hearts and each one is "Real" to us (˘︶˘).｡.:*♡ )
Hate towards individual Gonchers.
Hate towards Goncharov headcanons (we may jokingly participate in Goncharov discourse, but I promise, there is never any real venom ♡)
Our tags: #goncharov (1973) (2025) #gonchmovie
Formerly: "#goncharov (1973) (2023)" but we realized it would take longer to actually be released. Filming is scheduled to take place summer 2024, and the movie is likely to be released sometime in 2025.
Wish to help?
Here's our Gonching discord server! This is where you will find everything else, and where the stuff that needs doing is usually discussed. You can also join if you just want to lurk.
This link is permanent. Share it with your friends! (text version: https://discord.gg/NvR2S7akje)
We will also make a shorter post for this link that is easier to reblog if you wish to spread the word that way <3
Even if you don't participate in any way other than reblogging a post here and there, it's still a huge help
(❁´◡`❁)b
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Goncharov is so good because technically there is found family, but all that happened before this (they grew up as street urchins), so now you're left with a group of "old friends" who are like "yeah I found my chosen family (and then we joined a crime family). We're close but you know what? Fuck them." And then everything falls apart in the most tragic way possible. Like don't forsake the magic of friendship besties or it will forsake you.
#i don't know what i'm on about here but#goncharov#gonchposting#shitpost#goncharov (1973)#but like Goncharov. Andrei. and Katya all found security in their bonds with each other#and they get called to Italy (Andrei first and the others later) and suddenly their bonds aren't helping them anymore#Andrei is outright *told* to betray Goncharov#Katya falls for Sofia who wants her to leave the mob life behind (and thus everyone in it)#Goncharov is the one clinging onto these relationships until he can't anymore.#Until he finds out Andrei has betrayed him and anything they had was already gone#You can tell he suspects before the poker scene but. he doesn't want to#And then it's all plausible deniability until the outright confrontation at the bridge...#I'm just having a lot of feelings about this 1973 mobster movie ok?#goncharov (1973) (2025)
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Sometimes I'm doing research for the Goncharov remake script and I get so overwhelmed with emotions I have to take a break and do nothing for anywhere between ten minutes to ten hours
#goncharov#goncharov (1973)#gonchposting#this movie doesn't even exist yet but it's so good#i don't care if ppl say the quotes are melodramatic I LOVE THEM#lying about the ten hours btw i have responsibilities unfortunately :(#goncharov (1973) (2025)
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Have you ever dreamed about holding a Goncharov (1973) DVD in your hands, watching it with your friends, or liveblogging it on Tumblr? (Okay I guess you can already do the last one.)
Help turn the Goncharov dream into Goncharov reality.
It's Gonchin' time >:)
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