GOOSE GANG FOR LIFE 😭

this guy got hit byyyyy shotgunnnnnn

I’d like to think Tubbo smuggled his team onto the ship under his wings <- Copium

He’s lost everything, please just let him have his goslings. He doesn’t care what he looses, chop off his fucking wings, whatever, he just needs to make sure they’re safe, he needs his baker, his fighter, his fucking kids.

They didn’t even get to meet sunny.

He doesn’t know what’ll happen to them, as he sits on the ship he doesn’t know what will happen to himself. But in all honestly he doesn’t care, all he wants to know is that his goslings will be okay. He can’t stand to loose more family.

Sunny needs to see her siblings, they need to be home and safe where Tubbo can fucking take care of them. He needs to go to bed knowing that they’re going to be okay, that everything is going to be okay.

But he’s on the boat, and his hands are cuffed and bloody from fighting the workers even when he had no weapons left, his mouth is muzzled because of his biting and screaming at the workers.

And his goslings are gone.

(And, maybe in another life he’ll build a big house for all of them, and they’ll all get their own room. And would all sleep together anyway, they would all be Sunny’s big siblings

Maybe in another life the fates would let Tubbo finally, finally be happy.)

Team Goose currently held together by Tubbo's silly tactics, Aimey's bugs, Malena's diplomacy , Tiba's support and Cherry's absolutely rage against Pac. Peak example of its so joever and we're so barack

I think the thing about the parable of the golden goose is that in order to not kill the goose, you have to have some sort of understanding of what a goose is, some sort of theory on how the gold comes to be, some tiny scrap of interest in the goose as a living being that has its own reasons for laying golden eggs. Why does it lay them? How does it lay them?

How can I make sure it has what it needs and is happy in its existence so that it will keep on doing what it's doing now? Does it need softer bedding? Nicer food? Pets and encouragement? Maybe some goose friends? You would do whatever you could to just keep the goose doing the same thing it's doing now, for as long as it can. This doesn't require kindness, self-interest is all that's needed. That, and seeing the goose as a goose.

The only mindset which could possibly lead to killing the goose - destroying the very thing which is creating your wealth - is that you never really saw the goose at all. You only saw the gold, and because it kept coming, you thought it was owed to you. But the goose only lays one egg a day. It must have access to infinite gold, but it only lays one egg a day?

You started to see the goose as an obstacle. A bottleneck. A drag on productivity. A hole in the ledger, mounting costs for hay and grain, eating away at profits. The only reason you can't have more gold is because the goose is in the way. It's outdated. Inefficient. It has no place in a modern streamlined operation. We are not a goose-focused business. We are a gold-focused business. The only reason you would keep this silly bird around is sentiment.

Chop.

This is insanity. The reason the parable exists is to expose the insanity in its most unmistakable form, to save us from making the same mistake.

The reason it has survived is that people keep on making it.

You'll note that, while the killing of the goose is the ultimate in bad business sense, caring for the goose doesn't require a rare talent in the boardroom. Sure, a smart operator can keep the goose in good health, strategically and cleverly, for the sake of the bottom line.

But so can someone who just likes geese, and knows how to look after them.

Lethal Combination

I didn’t want to share this with the link but my one & only criticism of that video I shared is super specific & it’s that the video essayist doesn’t like Dennis trying to kill Dee in the castle. In my opinion that was a beautifully hilarious scene / culmination of a hysterically entertaining subplot & I strongly disagree with her that it fell into the same category as other cases of the show becoming too mean spirited & neglecting to show that these characters care about each other in the latest seasons. I do agree that this is a huge issue & literally everything else in the almost 3 hour video I fully agreed with though so please still know I loved the critique. I just really liked the castle episodes & this is an excuse to talk about it lol -

I actually found the sibling dynamic weirdly sweet in the Covid episodes. The joke was funny because it wasn’t that Dennis literally wants to kill Dee, it was that he was delirious with Covid & thought he was communicating with a ghostly castle which is so funny cmon. And before that they were renting a castle together & she was teasing him while also taking care of him & in a giant castle they still chose to share a room like they’re so cute. It’s my favorite plot we’ve had in so many seasons & I must defend it with my life.

To me it was mean in classic sunny fashion which is VERY very notably different to the way new sunny is mean. It called back to such iconic scenes as “Dee? I swear you would be of more use to me if I skinned you and turned your skin into a lampshade. Or fashioned you into a piece of high-end luggage. I can even add you to my collection” followed by a hilariously horrified expression from Kaitlin Olson.

Dennis rushing at Dee in a deranged attempt to behead her only to pass out & she has to take him to the hospital is great. It’s the above mentioned scene with talk of skin luggage - or Dennis & Dee’s talk of murder & Dee’s confusion and about what the “actual plan” is in “Mac is a serial killer” amped up to 100 to me. It’s “Dennis is a serial killer” jokes done right much like “making Dennis Reynolds: a murderer” & NOT like “The Gang Gets Cursed.” That last one takes the joke way too far by leaving the implication that Dennis might actually be a killer which completely ruins the joke both by explaining it & botching the punchline which should always be that Dennis is a pathetic bitch who WISHES he was a serial killer (side note - other than that, I mostly enjoy “The Gang Gets Cursed” btw).

This became an essay but I wanted to share that extremely good & insightful video without my huge block of text commentary on something extremely specific. However I did want to rant about how much i LOVE the siblings in the castle episode imo that is pure classic sunny dynamics shining through the fog of late seasons overall crappiness lmao I’d actually categorize that specific sub plot as one of my favorites in the whole show which is insane given that it’s from season 15. I just really really love the Reynolds siblings being fucked up but in a funny way that has almost sweet aspects hehe

I also think this is an opportunity for me to discuss WHAT the notable difference is between the “mean” aspect of sunny here & why it works SO much better than the other mostly uncomfortable humor of later seasons. The joke’s punchline is on Dennis - something that’s desperately been needed in the sibling dynamic & the way it’s narratively framed for a LONG fucking time. As discussed in that amazing & super insightful video, new sunny punches down & it’s frankly cringe more often than not. Old Sunny knew who it’s jokes were on & it was always the person just asking for comeuppance by being awful. I’m not saying Dee isn’t awful because that would defeat the purpose of her character but she does suffer from what I call “the Meg Griffin effect.” It also hurts such characters as Britta Perry from Community, Jerry Gergich from Parks & Rec, & Toby Flenderson from The Office. It becomes more uncomfortable & off putting than funny as an audience member after a while to see everyone being consistently awful to one specific character who is not inherently worse than the others but is always the butt of the joke. It’s a trope I will simply never enjoy, personally.

But the castle plot works because it’s certainly deranged & mean (it’s literally not even always sunny if it’s not deranged & dark & mean you might as well give up & watch a different show if you don’t like your dynamics fucked up) but the joke is not -

A. Dennis is a serial killer ooooh edgy! - tired, contrived, Reddit core, unfunny, defeats the point of sunny which is that these guys are all incompetent losers

B. Haha dee is gonna die! She sucks lol! - that is one way to interpret the joke I guess but it’s so clearly actually that Dennis is in a fucking fever infused hallucination about ghosts & dee ultimately has to take his passed out ass the ER because this stupid bitch didn’t get vaccinated

Like it redeems so much or the awful dynamic they’ve built (which they unfortunately double down on anyway later. *cough* the gang goes bowling *cough*) where it’s like…. Isn’t it hilarious that Dennis constantly abuses his sister guys? Haha what if dee literally killed herself lol? Isn’t this so funny aren’t you having fun?

Classic sunny is mean. I’m not trying to say I dislike mean punchlines. But……. Dennis passing out & almost dying Covid IS mean? Dee having to deal with her brother almost beheading her & listening to his deranged conversations with “the castle” IS mean? It’s just that it’s mean in a FUNNY way. Like Charlie getting rejected by the waitress in the musical episode. Like Dee realizing how disgusting her schemes are in “PTSDee” & feeling sickened by herself. Like Frank getting told to fuck himself in his fat fucking ass in the Christmas episode. Or Mac shitting his pants in “Mac Day.” These are all examples of times I’ve found the meanness of sunny funny because it’s about showing what happens when you’re a horrible person who never learns.

Anyway in conclusion I love the Reynolds siblings & the castle plot is the only good part of new sunny goodbye

i am already so attached to the golden geese. i don't know three of these five people but i already love them all.

The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore is giving me feelings about Dee and Dennis. Yeah, shit still sucks: According to the twins, Frank ruined their vacations by complaining constantly, and I bet they learned the sunblock-flask trick from Barbara. But also,, Dennis literally says “these are, like, the happiest days of our lives”!!

Like,, fun beach times??? The boardwalk is a place for “rides, and games, and opportunities to win stuffed toys”?? Dee gestured to Dennis when she mentioned the stuffed toys. We know Dennis loved Mr Tibbs. How much do want to bet he was ridiculously invested in the boardwalk stuffed animals? I 100% believe that he (at least once) spent all of his money at a claw machine and went off the rails when he didn’t win anything

I also believe that Dee would hunker down at a competitive game and win as many prizes as possible until she could trade them in for a huge trophy she could parade around. Tiny Dee, basking in the power of beating grown adults trying to win toys for their children...and also shoving her victory in their faces afterwards.

Personally, I have no doubt that Dennis would suck at winning toys in comparison. Being two wild kiddos, they’d definitely fight about who gets which toy...but also...if Dee sometimes let her brother keep some of the stuffed animals she won, because she didn’t care about the little ones, anyway...and maybe also because Dennis would be happier than she usually ever saw him be...that’s neither here nor there...

idk just. Going on vacations while in a toxic family can be horrible. But sometimes the change in environment allows people to forget and escape the miserable norm for a little while. And for two kids who never got gifts on Christmas, the opportunity to win things for themselves must’ve been at least a little cathartic

(//cigars)

Headcanon that during Purg 2 all the geese get high as SHIT

Tiba had some giant fuck off cigars on him when he got taken and he distributed them to the team when he saw the tension got too much

However that resulted in the whole team getting somewhat dependent

(the whole reason behind this hc is Rory giving me the idea that the geese are cowboys)

OH!OH! I'm catching up on the qsmp lore anyway, I got busy and now vods have piled high. I am currently watching the second purg with golden goose and expect more brainrot about the geese-

Back again with the goose apocalypse purgatory au

Tubbo shows his team pictures of Sunny like the proud father he is. He tells them that he’d take them to meet her (and the if they survive remains silent)

Sometimes Tubbo will default to the ‘talking to my young child’ voice with his team, and it works way better then it should.

He is also great at getting answers out of people, scarily good at it even.

They somehow always manage to end up asleep piled together, with Tubbo having to as carefully as possible carrying them to bed. There’s a lot of pictures of this

Tubbo has a weird connection with nature and animals. Hell he probably nursed a goose back to health

But all things must come to an end: on a mission with his geese, they’re left behind in a battlefield, a team that’s primary mission is rescues. Knowing that they don’t have much shot to survive they spend the night around a camp fire, celebrating their time together

And as the sky lights up with missles raining down on them he tells his team how proud he is, how in any life he’d be their captain.

And they say goodbye screaming goose into the air

I want you guys to know that Team Geese have attributed Tubbo as "Mother Goose" because of how protective he was being and how he was teaching the rest of the team the ropes of the game. And now occasionally instead of seeing "Yes Coach" you might see "Yes Mom" in chat which is just so funny

“sugimoto...”

Dee always being completely unharmed in Dennis’ fantasies/alternate realities when she’s always hurt in the other guys’ ones is something that can be so precious to me