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#god sorry this took me 5ever to answer
spaceprincessem · 10 months
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖
hello love! @alyxmastershipper sent me this as well and i'm finally getting around to answering it! in no particular order:
and i'm not good at winning fights anymore - 24k buddie 5+1 things fic
There’s mud on his hands. There’s mud on his hands and he has to dig deeper, quicker, because Eddie is forty feet beneath him and surely he can’t breathe because the well is gone and Eddie is gone and Buck can’t follow him.
“Eddie,” his throat feels raw, the words wrong to his ears, “Eddie.”
“Yeah,” Eddie says, holding onto him, “I'm right here, Buck, I’m right here.”
“I can’t—” Buck breaks off, his trembling, dirty hand in the air and Eddie must understand because he takes Buck's hand without question and pulls it to his chest, right over his heart.
{or five times Buck needs to feel Eddie's heartbeat and the one time Eddie needs to feel his}
2. gravity holds me down - 14.7k buddie fic
“Eddie.”
Eddie jerks out of the moment, pain registering around his bicep where Hen is squeezing him too hard. There’s an edge to her voice, jaw clenched, and eyes narrowed as she looks across from where they are standing. Eddie follows her gaze and his entire body freezes.
“Whatever you do,” Hen’s voice is low, dark, “do not let him take Buck.”
Jonah can’t see them from where he’s standing, his back mostly turned as he flashes a light in one of the patient's eyes. Eddie shifts without thinking, blocking Buck and Christopher from view. Fuck the fire, Eddie thinks as he plants himself where he’s standing.
3. blue skies - 36k buddie fic
“Most babies are born as accidents,” She says suddenly, like she’s decided that Buck has passed, that she can trust him with this.
Buck doesn’t really have an answer because that question hits way to fucking close to home. A year or so ago he would have said, yes, I was an accident, so I know how that goes, but Buck knows better now. Knows that he would almost give anything for that answer to still be yes. Evie’s finger works under the seal to rip it open, a stack of important looking papers dumping out onto the table in front of her.
“Not me,” she says without looking up as she organizes them into a neat stack, “I was engineered.”
And.
And Buck’s pretty fucking sure a giant, cataclysmic hole has ripped right open, dragging him down to the earth’s core where he vaporizes into dust.
{or Buck meets another savior baby and everything comes crashing down}
4. and some things you just can't speak about - 42k buddie fic
“Me too.”
Eddie’s surprise at hearing himself speak for the first time since he was introduced isn’t nearly as shocking as realizing that both he and Buck say the same thing at the same time. Eddie trails his gaze up the line of Buck’s neck, watches the way his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, and finds those glacier lake eyes looking right at him. Eddie’s never been the type of person to stand down. To roll over and bare his belly. He won’t look away, can’t concede to that, but the idea of being seen by a complete stranger is unnerving and Eddie feels a little defenseless. Bobby clears his throat and they both blink out of their strange standoff. Eddie’s flush only burns hotter when he sees Hen and Chim share a look like it’s an entire conversation and something deep and unknown twinkle in Bobby’s eyes.
“That’s something we can all think about for next week,” Bobby smiles knowingly, “where are we stuck in life? And, maybe,” he turns towards all of them, “we just might figure out how to help each other move forward.”
[or the 118 support group therapy au]
5. all roads they lead me here - 39k sterek fic
“Then why wouldn’t you be Derek’s emissary?” Stiles asked. He just wished Deaton would get to the fucking point. He was tired and he hated playing twenty questions to figure out what the older man was getting at.
“Derek’s emissary needs to be someone who he trusts completely,” Deaton explained, “and it’s time I passed on my wisdom and expertise to that person.”
The beat of silence between them stretched for too long before Stiles realized exactly who Deaton was talking about.
“Me?” He asked incredulously.
thank you for the ask 💖
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THOUGHTS ON THE NEW BOOK PLS AARON ‼️‼️‼️
hi sorry this took me 5ever my brain hasn’t let me read a lot lately OR answer questions!!! but hi it was so fun. i loved reading it and revisiting the characters again after all these years. it was a good blend of new material and what had been posted online. meg cabot is clearly so tired of living in florida and used this book to make that known. judith gershner cameo was iconic. making lana and mia friends is the funniest thing meg has ever done. and there’s a lot of competition there. i regret to inform i have become a bit of a boris hater and but do NOT regret saying that tina deserves so much better my god girl move on PLZ.
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chaoticspacefam · 1 year
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Strikhedonia - The pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it”. for an oc/pairing that you think would best suit the prompt - KH💙 (p.s. sorry for accidentally unfollowing you when trying to click on the 'ask' button 🤪)
(no worries and likewise I am SO SO SORRY that this took me two years to finish up I am horrified by that 😭🥺 I had a l o t of fun with this one even if it took me 5ever to transfer it from script to actual Prose so I hope it’s worth the wait and y’all enjoy!! <3) A/N:
This one is set just after > Kiss With A Fist <  so if you’re new and/or you don’t remember the kiss they’re arguing about, it’s in that oneshot! :D
Strikhedonia - noun. The pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it”. This one came from the “obscure word/definition” ask game a while back. Sadly far back enough that I do not have the link but ANYWAY its finally here yaaas!! The alternative title for this one is “How much Unresolved Sexual Tension can I fit into one Oneshot?” and the answer, I am happy to report, is “Yes”. XD
Wai Tarar = the official title/rank term for the Ahaszaai royals’ personal bodyguards, each Ahaszaai has a minimum of one, but more commonly between 2-3 ESPECIALLY for the current ruling Emperor(ess) and/or their heir(ess) ;)  It’s literally just High Sith for “Royal Protector” but it sounds so much more fancy in High Sith xP
Falling in love with your bodyguard is a little less scandalous when your father happens to think he Has Very Nice Genes, Actually, and This Could Work In Our Favour so "You know what, go ahead" XD in case anyone is wondering WHY Vastas doesn't care. Kissai's got Massassi blood in his line, and Grampy Ahaszaai thinks it'd be neat to get a little of that in the future grandkids 😉
No specific warnings for this one. Just two idiots very obviously in love, and - oh my god she’s done denying it? D’leah’s not playing hard to get anymore?? /lh XD You can also read on > AO3 < if you’d prefer the formatting there! :D
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D'leah had been rather surprised to catch the eye of her Wai Tarar across the sea of other Sith Lords and Darths, decked out to their nines in glitz and glamour in the manner she would have well expected of the High Sith families that associated with her father. Of course, it was not a problem that he had come, as her principle protector it was almost certainly…encouraged that Kissai attend in order to stand guard for the Ahaszaai line during the festivities, he would not be the only Wai Tarar in the crowd. But the Sith heiress simply couldn't shake the realization that Kissai was not in his red armour, this time, but rather a suit of the more formal kind. It couldn't be….that he was here for her, surely? 
On an impulse, she caught his eye as she wove her way through the crowd and headed for the nearby balcony, the cool night breeze stirring her cheeks as she stepped out of the stuffy palace ballroom. Leaning against the balustrade, she exhaled softly and waited, listening to the lilting notes of the classical music that drifted towards her through the open balcony door. Before long, the sound of carefully measured footfalls reached the heiress' ears, and she calmly turned to face him. She had nothing to fear from this man, she knew that much.
"Dance with me, my Lord?" He inquired, eyes bright with hope as he held a hand out towards her. The heiress' gaze lingered on his outstretched palm for a fraction too long, before finally darting up to meet his, the tips of her jaw spurs trembling. He cleaned up remarkably well, for a commoner…
Somehow, the fact that he had waited until she had beckoned him outside, away from the prying eyes of every kriffing Sith aristocrat in the Empire, to ask for her hand at all only made it *worse* for her. Damn it, his sister's right. You've got it BAD, D'leah.
Besides, nobody would see them out here, so what harm would one dance do? If he cared half as much as she liked to pretend that he did, D'leah knew her father would never have let her leave the palace with her guard in tow - Emperor Ahaszaai had eyes everywhere, and someone watching out for her at all times.
So, the heiress slid her hand delicately into his, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards into a faint half smirk as she purred teasingly. "You have nice manners, for an Outskirter~"
The taller Pureblood scoffed softly as she stepped into his grasp, his fangs flashing in a grin. "Last I checked, my Lord, your father was quite enamoured with my manners."
D'leah raised a browstalk in surprise. "Enamoured", huh? He'd taken to using a lot of big words around her of late…he really was trying to impress her, she was sure of it.
"I can't imagine why he would think that." She smirked back at him, bringing her other hand to rest on his shoulder, though she did have to pivot onto her toes ever so slightly. He was so tall...
They fell into a steady and well-balanced set of steps in time with the tempo of the music from the ballroom, and Kissai guided her into a twirl, humming softly under his breath. "Hmm. You know what I think?" 
D'leah made a curious, prompting noise in the back of her throat, her breath almost catching when he effortlessly caught her out of the spin and dipped her down in time with the swell of the music. His hand was warm against the small of her back, even through the fabric of her evening gown, "you like it." the taller Pureblood breathed, a hint of a query to his tone still.
Kissai was right, she knew he was. But the Sith heiress wasn't quite ready to admit it just yet. She wanted him to work for it. She chuckled as nonchalantly as she could manage, allowing him to pull her upright and sweep her into the next set of steps. "Well, I think you’re a fool who is wholly overconfident in himself~" 
The taller Pureblood's fangs flashed in a grin, and without thinking about it, he retorted cheekily. "That makes two of us, then, doesn't it, my Lord?" 
The realisation dawned on his face as D'leah's arm snapped taut with the next step she took, the heiress' eyes fixing on him as she hissed sharply. 
"And you have grown over comfortable being so casual with me, Izreni." It should have been a warning, and on her first reflex D'leah had meant for it to be one, but when the words actually came out of her mouth they sounded far more like a returning quip than she had intended. The Wai Tarar scoffed, indignant, and raised a browstalk at her as he protested: "You kissed me. If you wished for me to leave you alone, my Lord, you've done a very poor job in telling me so."
“I did.” she nodded, squashing the urge to smirk as he blinked at her in utter surprise that she had admitted to it, like a gizka caught in the headlights. D’leah drew in another deep breath to keep her composure, shutting her eyes for a moment as she reminded him, her voice far more amused than scathing. “And if I saw fit I could kill you where you stand for speaking to me that way.” “I know.” the Wai Tarar answered in much the same tone. She wasn’t quite sure how, but somehow their back-and-forth had deviated from their standard back-and-forth banter to become simply exchanges of facts they were both well aware of already. The heiress was losing, and she knew it. She shifted her weight onto the balls of her feet as they twirled again, and as she returned to his hold, he smirked and asked. “Then why are you out here with me, and not in there with the other High-born brats, my Lord?” 
The Ahaszaai heiress opened her eyes to meet his gaze once more, willing her heart to stop skipping violently against her ribcage when she did. “They bore me.” she admitted at length, stepping closer to Kissai as the tempo of the music that floated out from the ballroom behind them began to slow. “You, on the other hand…” She felt his grip on her tighten, not by much, but enough that D’leah took note of it, and hummed wordlessly in response. It took a moment for the taller Sith’s brain to catch up with the rest of his senses, but when it did she watched the spurs against his jaw flex in anticipation. His voice grew husky as he muttered. “Darindz artsisasi ki, ctarzari…”
D’leah let out a sultry chuckle in retort. “Nu sarjia j’us kaisijas oi…”
His gaze flicked from hers, to the door behind them, reflexive panic written on his features clear as day. “What would your father say?” he floundered, as if forgetting he had just moments ago used an entirely contradictory argument when their dance had started. The Ahaszaai High Lady could no longer contain her own laughter, throwing her head back to cackle aloud and feeling the tips of his claws curl against her spine as she did so. “Do you believe he’d let his heiress wander off with any old vagabond who asked her for her arm? He knows exactly where I am.” D’leah raised a prompting browstalk at him. “If he didn’t like you, Izreni, he would not allow you anywhere near me.” much less anything else. And she knew that Kissai knew that just as well as she did. 
“I see…” the Wai Tarar’s jaw spurs trembled, but still he daren’t move, nor had his hands travelled any lower in spite of her offering him an invitation to do so on a silver platter. Kissai was waiting for her to come to him. His self control was admirable, and oh so attractive....
Deciding to indulge him for the second time, the heiress stretched up on her toes to brush her lips ever so gently against his as she cooed softly. “Or are you scared, Kissai~?” 
She felt, rather than heard, his breath hitch, and after a moment to compose himself he managed to get out the words, low enough that only D’leah would hear them. “Such thoughts are hardly proper in polite company, princess.”
“Ah, of course.” she grinned, a purr rumbling in her throat as she stepped out of his arms to take the taller Pureblood’s hand into hers instead. D’leah did not miss the low chuff of disappointment that he made as she moved away from him, but nonetheless released his grip on her obediently. Ever the gentleman, this one. As if to answer the unspoken question, the Ahaszaai heiress tugged on his hand, holding his gaze as she backed toward the balcony door to head back inside. “Come, let’s go inside. It’s getting cold out here.” To hell with it, doesn’t matter who sees us.
_______________________________________________________ High Sith translations: *canonically there is so little written about High Sith conlang that there aren't even proper contractions (like "I'm", "Don't" etc.) which is just...a huge oversight, to put it blankly. So I made my own contractions. At least it doesn’t sound like an unnecessarily and stupidly clunky language that way skhjslhdh
Darindz artsisasi ki, ctarzari…  - Don’t (from Dari “do” + nindz “not”) tease me, princess..
Nu sarjia j’us kaisijas oi…  - I thought you liked it...
That said, D’leah DOES on occasion not use contractions in Basic, particularly for things like “would not” (as in “would not allow you anywhere near me”) or “do not”. There’s no particular reason for this, she just decided it was a speech quirk of hers and keeps making me write it this way on occasion /lh 😜
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greyeyedmonster-18 · 2 years
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just finished the best worst thing and can i just say. you’re an excellent writer?
but, and i really hope this doesn’t come off the wrong way, i was really hoping for jily (but especially lily) to not get that happy ending, for sirius to forgive them so easily (even if it was in character) or harry to extend that olive branch. is that mean? like,,it just felt like a series of deliberately cruel decisions on their part without any *real* consequences ykno? and sirius (and remus) just kept getting so hurt god it really hurt lol (especially when he just fkn broke down after lily said harry wasn’t his kid the audacity)
remus going off on them was so cathartic and i never wanted it to end, but i was secretly also hoping for a harry x jily showdown. i remember being super passionate at 16, how protective i was (and still am tbh) of my parents, always rearing to go if i thought someone even eyed them wrong. it would’ve been so cool if harry had gotten even an inkling of how sirius was being treated and decided to take offence to that ykno?
although, on the other hand, i guess it’s also a mark of what a good writer you are and how realistically you wrote the whole thing because it felt more in character for the adults (but especially remus and sirius) to keep harry away from all the ugliness that he shouldn’t be exposed to, how they didn’t want to irreparably ruin his image of his parents (bc that would go against everything sirius believes in)
(still would’ve been super cathartic to have harry use the same kind of verbal cruelty tho ‘you’re not my parents, you just gave birth to me in the middle of a war and then went and got yourself blown up. you should be thanking remus and dad on folded knees for everything they did for me. when they didn’t even have to’)
oof that was a lot of rambling no one asked for lol. sorry 😓🙈
aaaanyway the story was so, so good (and i haven’t actively read wolfstar in ages because i just,,,don’t like remus honestly speaking but you actually made me root for him too and i’m just genuinely in awe at how this entire thing spawned from a random prompt just like that so yeah.) thank u for writing it!
okay, firstly--i am blushing so hard, this is all SO nice? any compliments on my writing just make me so 🥺 and i dont have words except for thank you.
Second, the rest of this is great and i will continue answering below the cut to avoid an extra long post because i can never shut up
1. absolutely not taken the wrong way
2. sirius, my beautiful baby is made of second chances especially for james. james could do something AWFUL and sirius would forgive him.
3. It wasnt expressly written, but between the lines (sirius not going to the potters, remus not going to the platform, lily not coming to #12, harry being more indifferent to lily just based on how remus/sirius interact with her vs. James). But also that harry never found out the details, and even though harry was protective (dropping Dad in front of them, "theyre not my parents", "we do X differently), he definitely took cues from sirius on how to handle the situation.
4. Sirius knew this. Remus knew this. Remus was furious 5ever and nothing was the same, Harry could see that and trustED remus could be mad for all of them. So harry didnt have to worry ❤
5. This fic had to end lol. And there was alot of mini convos i cut out as an author to keep story moving and harry DEF wasnt as kind all the time. He extended the olive branch because he has a heart big enough for the entire world. But like...hes keeping score too. And theres room to grow for both of them.
THANK YOU AGAIN FOR READING
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Fun fact: I googled Winston’s famous “you’re on a revenge jag” quote including the part about digging two graves (neither of which needed to be his). Apparently that was a reference to a Chinese proverb (often attributed to Confucius but not really) that states “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves,” meaning that seeking revenge will probably lead to destroying yourself as well as whoever you’re trying to destroy. In this case, Taylor was screwing over all of Mase (1/2)
(2/2) Cap in their quest to get back at Axe and Winston was understandably pissed at how they were paying for something they didn’t ask to be caught up in. When he said “neither [grave] needs to be mine” he meant that he didn’t have to stay and end up in a grave, which of course led to Mafee attacking him for being “disloyal” for not wanting to be in the crossfire of a revenge plot that he never asked to be a part of. But yeah, make of that what you will. Just something interesting I found.
oh yeah after reading this i also tried to look up if we know the source of the Dig Two Graves saying and apparently we really do not (i.e. yeah frequently attributed to confucius but there’s no actual record of that, been attributed to Ancient Greece or smthing just as baselessly, there’s apparently an idea it could be a rough translation of a japanese aphorism but it’s just an idea)
really winston is laying out his whole Argument v well and i suppose that’s why taylor had No immediate response for him, b/c surely if he Was just gonna complain abt it like “this sucks >:/” and leave it at that, they’d be prepared to maybe handle that level of disgruntlement and have some methods in mind to shut it down, but winston is just Right and is being thorough about why he’s right and like. i don’t think they Can really argue with it, much less were prepared to do so in that moment, and sure seems like they did ultimately agree with him / listen to him seeing as they turn around (in 4x12, not 4x11, rip) to say they Had gotten off-course and weren’t interested in taking the revenge jag route, actually
like, he’s walking through why the Revenge Jag is the only reason they’re not getting bonuses, vs mafee just ascribing it to a general strategy to Save Resources in year 1 of the fund.......pointing out that if taylor Wanted to pay *anyone* full bonuses, they Could prioritize their top employees which does included winston even though he gets no backup on that outside of 3x11 and certainly not now when he’s Cringe N Fail cuz he said Moi while insisting on his value (and when the general audience of the show seems to have decided he’s out-of-line Egotistical for taking pride in his ability and never downplaying it / the value of it) as well as the fact that this isn’t about “oh i Would pay you if i Could” b/c he knows they’re not just waiting for some influx of funds, they’re Only holding back on paying people because they’re Anticipating the [dig two graves] situation, i.e. it’s Because they’re now planning to reorient their strategy around Actively Battling Axe Cap (in that they’re now intending to go on the offensive rather than just reacting defensively to axe’s attacks) that they foresee a need to Conserve Resources b/c they know this course of action could be “damaging” to mase cap by costing them money. and that taylor is putting that Anticipated Burden of an unnecessary plan that they personally chose......like, taylor’s employees don’t really get a say in this shift where the overall direction of the fund is now: Revenge Jag, but they’re pretty literally paying for it, aka having that [dig two graves] Cost put on them, aka neither grave has to be winston’s......
plus winston has Especial reason to be upset with this shift towards revenge jag, b/c he’s the quantitative guy, and this isn’t a Quantitatively Driven approach, as evident by him in 4x08 talking abt how the numbers don’t back up this particular strategy and in 4x12 when taylor’s talking about returning to their mathematical model and then winston says Q is for Quantitative Babey which isn’t just a total nonsequitur......Revenge Jag Tmc would be less focused on the quant-driven approach and thus winston’s work would be less relevant and he wouldn’t be able to just do his best shit for them if it kept being the case like “yeah we’re pursuing this strategy b/c first and foremost it’d suck for axe” so he’d have reason to feel like not only is he being Devalued right now in not being worth like, basically investing in as a Resource (like, speaking of conserving them, Not driving off your head quant would = conserving a resource) but in the future his contributions and ideas might continue to be pushed aside b/c like, again with the Dig Two Graves, the revenge jag probably isn’t gonna be quantitatively-friendly and he’d have to keep writing off his own potential input / have his own strategies be valued less b/c they’re deprioritized in favor of “what might be damaging for axe cap”
and then from a more Meta perspective, there’s the fact that mase cap only has four named non-taylor people, and mafee’s feeling Especially obligated to provide taylor with immediate and unconditional support thanks to his whole “oops i spilled some intel” thing, and sara really wouldn’t criticize this move even if she didn’t 100% individually love it either, b/c it Would conserve resources for tmc and she’s more about telling taylor what they need to do from the “you gotta do this thing you might not personally wanna do to make / avoid losing money” and this is like, the opposite of that, and sara would also probably save such input for a one-on-one meeting lol, and lauren’s not gonna say anything, so really only winston is Available to speak up lol
and that transitions right into how winston’s also immediately proven correct in criticizing the whole structure of this “choice” they’re getting, in that they’re all pressured to take the [defer bonus for a year] route and this is happening not through Direct pressure from taylor, but the expectation that the Social Dynamics among coworkers will push everyone to defer. like, clearly the thing is that everyone’s going to be worried that if anyone’s deferring, that’ll make those employees Look Good b/c they’re proving their Loyalty and “taking one for the team,” and a reasonable worry that those employees will thus be Preferred going forward. and in this moment that winston’s bringing it up, he’s also, you know, arguing with his boss and gets no support / backup on it not only b/c none of the other people present wanna actually make these Complaints themselves / back them up even if, like mafee, they’re evidently not personally thrilled about it, but also b/c winston really doesn’t seem to have much support in s4 beyond taylor’s indirect and implicit validation, which he of course isn’t gonna get here, and if people were willing to ignore / dismiss winston’s input and/or dunk on him about it over basically Nothing before, here’s a chance to choose between “hmm Winston Vs Taylor” like. nobody’s gonna side with winston, maybe not even if he Was popular and beloved, but he’s apparently the guy nobody has much respect / appreciation for and broadly dislikes, so it’s just like. he has Points, and mafee doesn’t even argue against those, just argues against winston daring to bring them up at all, because a) mafee is looking to continue Proving his support of taylor anyways and here’s an obvious avenue to do so by just shoving winston into a locker b/c you easily Can and b) he’s attacking winston not for being Wrong but for being Disloyal for not just Supporting taylor here and being whiny rather than taking one for the team and whatever nonsense about “if you don’t like it, become ceo of your own fund” like, the lesson here is to unionize......but really winston is just proven Right by mafee, a coworker, immediately making this an issue of Loyalty and by winston only caving not b/c he accepts that he’s Wrong on any of his points but b/c he’s being Social Pressured here in the form of “being yelled at / insulted and when he’s yelled at / insulted winston seems to just want it to Be Over, reasonably,” and taylor doesn’t Have to pressure him themself if their employees will pressure each other For them
god i’m still mad about 4x11 lmfao. bitter 5ever like how can you not be. he was Right but it didn’t matter b/c nobody was gonna stick up for him in the face of a) backign Taylor instead or b) in the face of anything, tbh. that shit didn’t kick in until s5, finally, and still only Partially.....peak standing up for winston in the form of rian in 5x05 going “yeah i’ll casually argue for why you shouldn’t fire him" and “oh you’re saying winston should have a drink? i’m saying he should do whatever he wants b/c what are you, shit at math?” thank you rian. probably totally unnecessary and that’s what winston deserves for once, like, go Beyond “someone intervening only if the most belligerent and bullying axe capper comes storming over to yell at winston, but if bill uses his inside voice it’s okay to just monitor the situation even if it involves threats and getting all up in winston’s space like a creep” i don’t think rian would be a silent observer to that
tl;dr Yeah Agree lmao sorry it took me ages to answer this....i was like “oh god i gotta be semi-Coherent for this one and say smthing beyond ‘yeah agree’” and i procrastinated that for this whole time b/c it’s intimidating to think of trying to accomplish that. thank u for the ask lol
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jamesmydeer · 5 years
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HI HUNS! how are you? so I wanted to request (this is long,so feel free to say you are not going to do it or that you are going to change it) an imagine where Y/N has like something unofficial with james but he also starts something with lilly, so she thinks he would be happier with her. So Y/N does something to make james pick lilly and that results in them fighting and in y/n deciding to transfer to USA(but james was gonna pick her) then she comes back like a year later and she changes a bit
Secret Admirer x James Potter
this request automatically made me think of the movie secret admirer, which is the eightiest 80s movie there is, and I highly recommend it. fun fact: I hate this, but I haven’t posted in 5ever, so here you go
masterlist
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“I need a hug”, a voice called from the end of your bed. Glancing up from your book, you saw James with a very tired expression on his face. You knew he had just returned from practice, and judging by the looks of it, it didn’t go too well.
“C’mere”, you said, opening your arms for him. He trudged over to your side of the bed and plopped down on top of you. He buried his face in your neck, humming as your hand massaged his scalp.
James Fleamont Potter had been your best friend for as long as you could remember. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact date when your crush on him took form, all you knew was that you were head over heels for him.
If things were different, maybe you would be together. If James didn’t like Lily, you probably would have told him about your undying love for the way he messes with his hair and looks down at his feet when he’s nervous. But, things weren’t different, and James was head over heels for Lily. To someone who didn’t know of your relationship, they would think you and James were a couple, but instead of “my girlfriend y/n”, you were “my friend y/n”.
Your were pulled away from your thoughts when lily walked into your shared dorm. James head shot up and he rolled off of you, his soft smile fading into a boyish smirk.
“Just the girl I was looking for”, he exclaimed happily. You could feel your stomach clench at the words. It was hard for you; him seeing you as a wing woman. The “Ask her this”, and “Tell her that”s got old after a while.
James got up and walked over to Lily, following her out of the dorm like a lost puppy. This had happened many times before, so you didn’t know why you were so upset. Something inside you snapped, and you realized you needed to do something to get your feelings out. You had seen something in a muggle film once where a girl would write anonymous letters to her crush to express her feelings. So, you did just the same. You sat down at your desk, and in a flourish of strokes, gushed love into words onto paper.
—————————————————————
The marauders were prepared for a weekend of absolutely nothing. They raided the kitchens and would successfully make it through the next couple of days without having to leave their dorm. To hide all the stolen food, James was given the task of bringing his bag he used for school. As they pulled all the food out of their bag, a letter fell out.
“What’s this?” asks Sirius, giving James a suggestive smirk.
“I don’t know, I haven’t opened it yet,” he answered, reaching for the letter. Sirius quickly pulled it away.
“Let’s see what’s inside, yeah boys?” Sirius asked, earning nods from the other two boys. Sirius ripped it open and scanned its contents, eyes growing large and jaw dropping. After finishing, he smirked and cleared his throat, before reading it again, aloud this time.
“Dear James, I don’t know how to tell you what I want to tell you… so I’m writing it down. I’ll never find the nerve to to give you this letter anyway. When I look at you, I can’t take my eyes off of you. I long to have your arms around me and your body against mine.”
Sirius stopped so Remus and Peter could throw in their “oh my God”s.
“I know you don’t feel like I do, which is why I don’t have the courage to sign this. But I just love you more than words can say. xx” Sirius paused for the last time to throw in a quick kissing noise before the last x.
“James, who wrote this?” Peter asked, holding back his laugh.
“I haven’t even seen the letter yet, you gits,” James declared, snactching the letter from Sirius and looking over it a couple of times.
“I know exactly who he wants it to be.”
“There’s no way Lily wrote this. She’s made it pretty obvious that we’re just friends, if that,” James sighed. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but Remus telling him that it looked like her handwriting and Sirius saying she was staring at him during breakfast sure did.
—————————————————————
“I’m so stupid. What did I think was going to happen? I can’t believe I said those thing to Lily Evans,” James said, lying next to you in the grass by the black lake.
“I mean, why didn’t I just walk straight up to her and say ‘Hey, Lily, I’m an asshole’?”
“Well I think she knows,” you joked, turning to smile up at him. Your smile faded when he shot you an unamused look.
“Fucking Sirius. Merlin, how could I believe that oaf. Telling me that Lily Evans wrote me a letter. I bet it was Remus. I’m gonna kick his ass.” James wasn’t talking to you so much as he was to himself.
“And what did this letter say?” you asked, knowing all of the letter’s contents by heart.
“Everything I said to Lily”
“It sounded pretty good to me,” you, unbeknownst to him, bragged.
“It wasn’t just good, it’s was great. It was the best thing I’ve ever read. It was like Tender is The Night or The Way We Are. Remus is dead meat.” Your heart swelled at the words. You wondered if he would still think the same of the letter if he knew who it was from. As you thought this, you realized how uncomfortable your head felt against the hard ground.
“You know, this isn’t really that comfortable,” you stated, fidgeting around.
“Oh, here,” James muttered, moving his arm under your head. You scooted closer to him, cheeks heating up.
“Y’know, maybe the letters real. Maybe somebody really is in love with you.”
“I just wish I knew why I loved her so much. She’s just so beautiful.” Every word he said drove the knife deeper and deeper into you.
“Why don’t you just tell her what happened? That you were drunk and didn’t mean anything.”
“Yeah, yeah. After tonight?” James didn’t sound too fond of that idea.
“You know, you could always write her a letter,” you regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth.
“You know I hate writing. Besides, she’d just tear it up.”
“Not if she didn’t know who it was from.”
“What do you mean?” James asked, confused.
“Don’t sign it. Just have someone else give it to her. That way, if she doesn’t like it, she won’t know who wrote it.”
You sat in silence for a while. Maybe James wouldn’t write lily a letter and the situation would stop where it started. For some reason, your head was screaming at you that it was time to tell him. Not that you liked him, but your plans for next year.
“James, I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while, but I’ll be spending next year in America. I’m leaving in about two weeks. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, it’s just-“
James’ face suddenly lit up.
“You could give it to her! I’m sorry for interrupting, what were you saying?”
There it was.
“Nothing. Yeah, I’ll give it to her.”
“You’re a really good friend,” James said, leaning in to kiss your cheek. His lips lingered there for a second. He gave you a soft smile and ran off towards the castle to write his letter. “Ouch” you whispered, watching his figure slowly shrink. Friend. That’s all you were. And for the next year you spent on a different continent, that’s all you would be.
—————————————————————
You woke up the next day to a very giddy boy shaking you.
“I did it. I wrote the letter,” he stated, thrusting it into your face.
You smiled weakly at him.
“I’ll give it to her at the end of the day so you have time to regret your decision.”
He stuck his tongue out at you and turned towards the door.
“Lily Potter. Sounds quite nice, huh?”
“Get out of my room, James.”
With that, he chuckled and shut the door back. Your mind stayed on the letter all day. You wanted so badly to read what it said. Partly so you could know what he would’ve wrote to you, partly so you could see how cheesy it was. When you got in from dinner and noticed that no one was back yet, you opened it. It was exactly how you expected it to be. It sounded like he wrote down the first sentence on every romantic greeting card. You couldn’t let him give that to Lily. You loved James, and you wanted him to be happy. He would be happy if Lily genuinely liked the letter. So, you rewrote it.
—————————————————————
“Y/n! There she is. Looking ravishing as ever,” Sirius exclaimed. He ran up to you holding you at arms distance. He eyed you up for a second, then pulled you into a tight hug. When he pulled away you looked over his shoulder. Sirius, Peter, Remus… no James.
Sirius could tell exactly what you were thinking. “You know, I don’t get how you could do that to yourself. Sacrifice your happiness for his, I mean. He’s with Lily right now.”
Remus had walked up behind you while Sirius was talking.
“We told him it was important, but he said you would tell him later,” Remus explained, placing a hand on your shoulder. You couldn’t tell him later.
“It’s fine,” you said, shrugging his hand off of you and smiling at him. “Let’s go sit with Peter before he dies if boredom.”
Peter was the first to notice the brochure in your hand. He must’ve known that it had something to do with the “important thing” you had to tell them. When you sat down, he nodded towards it suggestively. You took a deep breath and opened your mouth to start talking, only to shut it and momentarily close your eyes.
“I’ll be right back,” you said, jumping up and running to the bathroom. You locked yourself in a stall and contemplated how you were going to do this. You had no idea how your were going to tell them. You had tried telling James as soon as you found out, but he didn’t seem to be listening.
You came back and sat down, the boys giving you worried looks.
“I’m not going to be able to say this twice, so please listen until the end, yeah?”
They all nodded, the worried looks on their faces never fading.
“My mom sent me this brochure about 2 months ago.” You set the brouchure on the table. “It’s for a year of study in America. It would really put me in a good situation resume wise. I could write about my trip and have it published; Dumbledore already said there’s no question about it. I’ve tried telling you guys so many times, but I couldn’t. Now that I leave in 2 days, I kinda have no choice.”
They stared at you for what felt like forever. Sirius was the first to stand up. You thought he was going to walk out and never speak to you again. The rest of the boys followed suit. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you stood up to run after them, only they didn’t leave. They engulfed you in the biggest hug. They told you they would miss you more than anything, but they would write every day. They would visit you on holidays. They would be here waiting for you when you got back. They hugged you in the middle of the three broomsticks, crying with you and telling you that it would be alright.
“ Promise me you won’t tell James when I’m leaving. I want to do that myself,” you begged, to which they agreed. You weren’t going to tell James. It would be too hard. But they didn’t need to know that.
—————————————————————
While you were sitting at home, packing your bags, James and Lily were not working out. James had quickly decided that Lily wasn’t who he thought she was, and Lily decided that James was still, well, James.
“You know, for some odd reason, I thought that just because you could formulate words and make them sound poetic, you were a different person than I thought. I was wrong,” Lily said, thrusting the letter into his chest. He took and stared at it. He was going to say something back, but he noticed something off about the letter.
“I didn’t write this.” He said, causing Lily to throw him an incredulous look.
“You’re really something else, you know that Potter?”
“This isn’t the letter I wrote you Lily. I didn’t write this. Where’s the letter I wr-“ before he could finish talking, Lily scoffed and walked away. James glanced at the letter again, and noticed something else. He raced up the stairs to his dormitory, and fumbled through the drawers. He pulled out the letter he had received. The only other person who had seen the letter he had written was you. The handwriting on both the letters he held was the same. It was you. You wrote the letters. James didn’t like Lily. James loved you. It had always been you, why had he never noticed that it had always been you? The rest of the marauders walked in to find a troubled looking Prongs.
“Why didn’t any of you guys tell me I was in love with y/n? Where is she? I have to tell her right now.”
“James, sit down.” Sirius said, ready to tell him where you were, and where you would be until this time next year.
“We can talk later, I have to find y/n!”
“James. Sit. Down.”
James sat on his bed and tapped his foot impatiently. Sirius opened his mouth and James couldn’t believe the words that came out. He knew about this. The night by the lake. You were spending a year abroad. You were leaving in 2 weeks. It’s had been 2 weeks.
“Shit! Where is she now?” James asked frantically jumping up and running to put a shirt on.
“Probably already at the boarding dock. Mate, if you wanna make it, you better hustle,” Remus informed him. James threw a “thanks” over his shoulder and ran out the door. Once he made it to hogsmeade he apparated to where Remus said you would be. He spotted your parents’ car, but no one inside. He heard what sounded like a bunch of “goodbyes” being yelled, and took off running.
He could see your ship. He could see you. You were already on your way to America. He was jumping boxes and ducking under ropes to get to a place where you could see him. He climbed on top of two large crates and yelled your name.
“Y/N! Wait! Hey! I know you wrote the letters!” He yelled, trying to get your attention.
“James, what?” You yelled back, very confused.
“The letters! I know you wrote ‘em! Don’t leave me I love you!”
“What?” you asked, shocked.
“I love you! Do you love me?”
“What difference does it make?” you asked, wondering what this was going to lead to.
“But do you love me?”
“Yes! Does that make you feel any better?”
“Yeah!” James screamed back at the top of his lungs, looking down at the water before him, and jumping into it. Once he reached the surface he started swimming towards your ship, the biggest smile on his face. He kept muttering “come on y/n” as if saying that would make you jump. You contemplated what to do. The only reason you were so sure that you wanted to go to America was to get away from James. You wanted to stay. You wanted to be with him. You didn’t want to go to America at all. You looked around at everyone watching you and turned back to the water. James was standing in the shallow water impatiently with a worried look on his face. You took a deep breath and jumped into the water. You swam towards James, who, regardless of him having swam further towards you, could still stand.
“I love you so much. I’m so sorry. I love you and I-“ You cut him off by smashing your lips against his. After the shock of you being in front of him and kissing him went away, he kissed you back. His hands went to cradle your face and yours went to run through his hair.
You didn’t know how you were going to tell your parents about this, or how you were going to get your luggage back. All you knew was that you were with James, and being with James was all that you needed. You let him hold you in the water, forheads pressing together, until the ship was far out of sight.
“I love you, but I’m getting really cold and I can’t touch right here.” you said, causing James to chuckle and apparate you back to hogsmeade. It may have taken him six years to figure it out, but he did love you too. A lot.
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saey-bae · 6 years
Note
I have another one lol. The RFA falling in love with their childhood best friend? I saw that you’re wobbly with Baehee so it’s okay if you don’t want to include her!😊
o man bless this childhood friends are The Best™
thank you for your lovely request, darling, and i hope you like this (i will be answering the other one at some point)~
edit: i’m sorry how troll-ish yoosung’s turned out to be ;; and apologies if jumin is ooc this was actually so hard to write what the heckle
under the cut because it’s pretty long
check out my masterpost here
Yoosung:
your parents were good friends and the two of you were born within a month from one another, so the two of you were friends since birth, really
he had always been the person to stick up for you without any if, buts, or doubts he was always defending you blindly first and asking questions later, which got him into quite a bit of trouble
you were always the one who stayed by his side through thick and thin and you taught him how to do cool tricks like riffle shuffling cards or magic tricks he really liked those
and the two of you were inseparable throughout elementary school and high school and, in some ways, neither of you could live without the other; you were the yin to his yang
even after you moved away for uni, the both of you stayed in contact via skype, calling, and texting. every. single. day.
aside from his family, you were the rock in his life which made you family, even if it wasn’t legally or by blood
because your families were connected, he always took that fact for granted and never really acknowledged that you were family
but he never felt that so deeply until rika’s funeral
you flew back to attend the funeral, dropping everything to be there for him
and he relied heavily on you
it was the best of times, it was the worst of times is this considered plagiarism if i cite it in mla
it was during one of those 4 am phone calls when he found out he had fallen for you
one of those badum-badum moments, where he could hear his heart pounding and if it was a manga, you could see it too !!
he still distinctly remembered it– it was a little embarrassing because he recalled that it was the night after rika’s funeral and he was crying poor bby missed her so much
and he called you blindly, not really expecting you to pick up because you were probably dead tired and wanted to sleep before your flight at 9 am
but you did, and you answered in a sleepy, “hey yooyoo, do you want me to come over? i can bring some ice cream”
he said yes
you brought ice cream over
the two of you sat side by side on the couch in the den, eating ice cream from the tub
you whispered comforts to him in the dark and he reached over to take your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze
your smile, illuminated by pale moonlight, lifted his heavy heart
yoosung knew he would be okay as long as you were with him, and by the way his heart constricted when you gave a squeeze back, he also knew that he had fallen for you at some point
and he would tell you someday
Zen:
the two of you met shortly after zen ran away from home
you went to the same school, and he just happened to catch you playing the entertainer on the piano in the music room during lunch while he looked for an empty room to practice his singing
you played it ridiculously faST HOW DO YOUR FINGERS MOVE THAT FAST WAT
was very impressed
you taught him piano and, subsequently, learned the musical pieces he performed so you could help him practice
while his love for music and acting were shunned at home, you encouraged it– heck, you were a musician yourself, having grown up at home with a father who was a conductor and a mother who was a pianist
you even tried to take up acting with zen, though you were terrible at it and quit shortly thereafter
you were there with him through his struggles
best friends 5ever
he found comfort in you because you never paid much attention to his looks
while you didn’t deny that he was handsome, you were more interested in his music and his projects, and he appreciated that more than you knew
and he never judged you for being a music geek because he was an even bigger music geek
he spent a lot of nights at your home, and he found a family in you and your own family
even after you found a career as a professional pianist and you were a fairly renowned musician, you still found time for him
he swore that your dedication to him was what first made him realize his feelings for you, but that was when he was dating another girl
zen dated countless numbers of girls, but none of them ever seemed to hold a candle to you
why?
when he finally realized he loved you, it was hard for him to hold back… but he did for the sake of your friendship
if you didn’t love him back, it would break his heart and ruin the most meaningful relationship in his life
but during one practice session, you were playing a new piece you learned for his new musical, rent heck yes it was seasons of love, and you were so close to him
he could smell the delightful scent of your shampoo and feel your warm body pressed against his side as you taught him how to play it
your hands were all over his as you tried to position his fingers right like an apple, zen, your hands should look like you’re holding an apple
his heart was pounding in his chest and he couldn’t stop his cheeks from flushing
when the lesson finished, his hands were clammy and he had never felt so unnerved
and in the spur of the moment, he leaned over and kissed your cheek
froze up when he realized what he had done
“huh?” you blushed heavily
“i… uh…” for an actor, he wasn’t very good at acting “thanks for the lesson”
“of… course”
then you kissed his cheek ohgod his face was burning
his eyes searched yours, unable to fathom why you would reciprociate until he saw your gaze dart to his lips briefly
slowly cupped your cheek and leaned in, pressing his lips against yours in a sweet, chaste kiss
when you parted, the two of you professed your feelings in rushed words, lips still brushing against one another’s
and he was quite sure you were his fate
Jaehee:
I will be able to write all the lovely headcanons for you one day, Jaehee– I swear it. That day is… just not today.
Jumin:
jumin never had many friends as a child
sure, his father’s associates had kids and he was forced to mingle with them
but aside from v, he was pretty lonely
until he met you, another rich man’s child
you were so different from all the corporate children– you were unruly and dressed sloppily and you came to formal functions with paint stains on your fingers and cheeks
somehow, you were all smiles, your small frame full of boisterous laughter that he had never heard before
and he found himself curious… drawn to you, even at the age of ten
you were an engine of chaos, a tornado, sucking in all those who got close enough
the two of you became good friends, but he found that there was still a barrier you put up that prevented him from getting closer
he always wondered why, but knew better than to bring it up
though he did find out several years later, when he saw you and your father talking in closer proximity down a deserted hall during a function
it was more like him shouting at you, telling you to behave and stop embarrassing him, while you listened
he waited until your father left before coming to comfort you
and he found that, under your chaos and unruliness and happy façade, you were broken and depressed
you hated yourself and you hated your life
you purposely disobeyed your father and refused to fit the mold of a perfect corporate daughter, and he hadn’t quite realized that until he found you like this
the shame jumin felt was only matched by his fierce need to protect you
in his trade, you were unique– an eccentric flower that bloomed against all odds
and he was going to protect you, his flower
under his nurturing care, you did continue to bloom
he took care of you, and you soon moved out of your father’s house to live with him
somewhere along the way, you brought out the playful parts of him that he didn’t know existed
and while he knew his wealth of feelings for you were profound, he couldn’t bring himself to tell you
you brightened up his life like the flower he considered you to be, and he couldn’t bear for you to leave if you didn’t feel the same
aside from his hidden feelings, everything was going fine until the two of you were in your early twenties
that was when your father was caught participating in inside trading– he even went to jail briefly for it
your reputation and family name was irrevocably damaged, but jumin was there to help you through it, despite his own reputation being on the line
and when he stood up to his own father about the issue, he realized he was prepared to lose face and name just to save you
he was going to do anything to protect his flower, anything to keep you in his life because he couldn’t live without you
he loved you
and unbeknowst to him, you loved him, too
Seven:
he was locked away for most of his childhood, and didn’t have any friends as a child, aside from his twin
leaving home tore him into two– and it left him utterly alone
seven longed for proper human company, for friendship– god, he just wanted to stop feeling so lonely
while he perfected his hacking techniques, he found chatrooms off the grid, specifically made by hackers for hackers
although he never spoke, he watched a specific chat on the side– the people there seemed friendly, though he was too nervous to participate
after a year of watching, he had a a good sense of the personalities of the people who frequented the chats
and there was always one username that caught his eye: x
whoever it was, the person was kind, but sarcastic, and had a dry sense of humour
he found himself logging in at all kinds of hours just to see if x was around
and one night, he caught x alone in the chat, spamming computer science memes that the other members would surely appreciate
feeling a surge of courage, he said hello
“hey :)” your smile emoticon made him smile involuntarily, too
there was another human! a living, breathing human somewhere in this world –who he admired– talking to him!
their conversation was brief, but entertaining, and seven found himself wishing he could talk to x again
after a few more late night chats, he voiced the desire
you offered to write an algorithm for a private chat, which he hesitantly agreed to, but only if he was allowed to work on it as well
the two of you ended up writing your own code for a private chat –again, off the grid– and you spoke often
often became all the time
throughout the years, the two of you exchanged info that he was never meant to be speak about– names, numbers, addresses
he found out that you were a university student around his age who learned programming and hacking for fun
you showed him other things you learned in high school– fascinating things that he regrets not having learned, like biology and chemistry
in exchange, he created small robots for you and promised that one day, the two of you would meet so he could give them to you
at one point, he grew bold enough to watch you on cctv with your permission
you waved at the camera you knew he was watching, and his heart skipped a beat at the sight of your smile– he’s never seen something so blindingly beautiful
he knew at that point, he would hack anything just to get another glimpse of you
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thegeminisage · 6 years
Note
6 7 9 10 13 19 go absolutely wild
THANK YOU GIGI YOU’RE THE REAL MVP!! sorry this ask took so long to answer it LITERALLY fucking vanished for 12 hours when i saved it to my drafts
6. Who is your least favorite character? Why?
kamski. you could do a million and one interesting and cool things with that character, but instead david went with a very generic “smug and cryptic and super rapey creep” character type. i hate him, he’s boring, he could have been so interesting, every theory, backstory, and personality fandom invents for him is better than what’s in the game
7. Who do you think deserved better/more in the game?
K A R A
kara got so fucking shafted by david cage, it’s unbelievbable. more on this later w/ the other question but im so mad 5ever
9. Favorite trope in the game?
plotwise: the slow build to connor absolutely SNAPPING in the last chapter. from picking up the fish three steps into the game to the final choice of whether or not to shoot or spare chloe, i will reluctantly admit that was (mostly!) incredibly well done.
playwise: rapid back and forth switches between player characters. that shit is SO exciting, i wanted so much more
10. Least favorite trope?
plotwise: it’s a 3-way tie. contender one is how markus “converts” other androids into being people. it should be a choice THEY make, not one he makes for them - that defeats the point. it’s an us vs them thing then, and it’s just stupid. number 2 is the public opinion. not only do we never actually get to talk to the public, but it only goes up when you’re peaceful and get shot at for your civil rights. most of the racism blunders in the game are like so stupid and over the top but that one actually is like. horribly shitty. contender three: david had absolutely no business doing those recycling centers like concentration camps. those sections are HORRIBLE and inexcusable. like: yikes, dude.
playwise: david LET ME MOVE MY DAMN CAMERA
13. Are there characters you felt were slept on or done dirty by the game/fandom?
KARA AGAIN!!! she has less chapters than the male protags AND some of hers she has to share with others/doesn[’t get to make choices. her storyline is poorly done and she is repeatedly victimized AND he takes her memories of the iconic 2013 short that started it all? rude, rude, RUDE.
second runner up: north. they wrote her to be violent (which directly goes against ur goals if ur playing for a good ending, making her unlikable to some people) AND even if you do go against her goals you must ALWAYS romance her (unless you went out of your way to be rude to her, then you wont get the prompt) or she’ll get really mad at you. like, nothing you can do will please her - but she’s still got a backstory that justifies this world view, an amazing onscreen presence, and i think she has the potential to be a great character if she was written w/ more subtlety, which david has none of. with all those factors though plus them cutting out the potential gay romance markus could have had, everyone H A T E S her and it is deeply uncool :/ like, he doesn’t make it easy to like her, so under one hand, you almost can’t blame people for not warming up to her, but under the other, you know they’re all misogynists
19. Favorite animal in the game?
i know sumo is pretty great and popular and all (DOG!!!) but im gonna have to go with the fish. there’s a fish u can pick up right at the start of the game that has a amssive impact later and i hate that i love it but i love it
(please god im begging you send me asks about the robot game)
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