#god i miss him so much it hurts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

girlnikolai · 1 year

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he makes me physically ill with his existence in the best way possible

#god i miss him so much it hurts #i want to hold onto him and never let go #being around him is painful sometimes only because i know im going to have to be without him again #i am in an episode #hashtag bee pee dee #my therapist is quitting i hope she feels bad bc mamacita is snapping #vvvvaaaannannnaayyayayay comr home.#starts bashing my head against the wall so hard i see spots. slash romantic #evwrythine ignore this #do u know that part in the beginners guide where its like i still love you you just make me feel cold inside. me about vanya and rowan pos #sorry i am full of love slash horrible neverendimg violence and misery #i need to be medicated #where are my fucking BOYS #vanya. rowan. serena. come home.#neon too i miiiiiiiiiisss you all.#i think the demons r winning #oh also that part in the beginners guide thats like. you cant talk yourself out of loneliness #yea.#i think im a bpd symptom holdeelr #im not oz i should clarify that but us when we r a system and function as one #'when i am around you i feel physically ill' my bb ouys. where are hthrhey.#im a little drunk if that is not obvious #killing anf murdering #ok goodnight ( it is 10 am )

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threecheersmaka · 2 years

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I think I'll talk to my therapist about the whole getting in contact with my ex friend thing first & maybe ask some other friends about it too

#shut up ej #not a day goes by where i dont think about him #thinking about all the fun things we couldve been doing now :(#i could take him to live shows!! i could introduce him to the local music scene!!#god i miss him so much it hurts

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gooperts-gunk · 2 months

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im so crazy over the tragedy of everything q!bbh does being under a demon pretense even though he's a fallen angel.

do u think he just accepts the demon label because it's easier. do u think he believes it too, and catches himself in his thoughts with "oh, right. im not exactly that". and maybe he believes that he did this to himself? do u think what he did was to protect himself or someone? no matter the fall, he still has so much kindness to give and his brain just isn't wired the way a natural-born demon would be, he can't hold back instincts when time demands it, maybe that's why he fell in the first place.

and when he's finally bad, not good, it's treated like the end of the world, without empathy on why he would act out. do you think this keeps happening? the same scenario, multiple times, every timeline? he has to be used to it. so he has to take it in stride. he's good until he lashes out under extreme pressure, and suddenly he's called demon. and once again he's what heaven made him out to be. what he made himself to be, his brain would ruthlessly provide...

i don't think he wants to be that, though he hides secrets behind secrets of which neither identity is a home... but i don't think he wants to have to change, either. and i don't think that's wrong of him.

...you collapse atlantis ONE TIME and all of a sudden YOU'RE the bad guy and SURE it was FUN but REALLY now,--

#lots of expansion on this in tags beware #this is a draft from 2:40AM the day before i just felt something within me and i needed to write about fallen angel q!bbh angst NOW #this post is brought to you by q!bbh in purgatory and post-purgatory i will never forgive you purgatory 1 #no one can bear to have a healthy conversation about q!bbh's behaviors let alone TO q!bbh. BUT IF Q!BAGHERA WASN'T STUCK ON THE ISLAND...#i miss u bbh + baghera interactions let me see u soon pls #he isn't impossible to communicate with ur just not jiving with his autism right u can get through to him i swear BUT TOO LATE he DIED #now he doesn't remember!!! (unless that part of the library is recovered) u lost ur shot!!! (ur issues with him will rise again)#now every time bagi goes “'cause he's a demon” with bbh i go OH MAN SHE DOESN'T KNOW IT'S MORE... it hurts how flippant it is sometimes #because WE KNOW OH MAN WE KNOW IT'S MORE and this concept of him being fallen adds SO MUCH CONNOTATION to EVERYTHING he does #it isn't just DEMON THINGS it's GOD MADE ME THIS THINGS and i just can't wait to know WHY what did you DO!!!#your instincts are to be nice though cautiously detached when your life restarts so WHAT DID YOU DO IF YOU ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD???#goopert talks qsmp #qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo

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levinbolts · 4 months

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i can’t believe square enix separated them why do they hate me so bad

#ffxvi #cidolfus telamon #clive rosfield #cidclive #firestorm #god i missed cid and clive’s banter during fights so much why would they deprive me of that for the rest of the game #i saw the exact moment clive got the gut feeling that cid wasn’t planning on coming back with them and turned off the game bc it hurt me #the moment he just stares at the hand cid was holding and then after him like a little lost puppy #GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD #i can’t stop thinking about that fic where clive is nearly in tears begging cid to at least TRY not to die when they go to oriflamme #and tells him he can’t do this without him and now im hurting even worse #that fic had me in TEARS #anyway they are special to me in almost the exact way ignoct is special to me

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babyleostuff · 5 months

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aweeeee my babyyyy, BUT ALSO THE FACT THAT HE SAID HE’S GETTING BIGGER

SIR YOU’RE ALREADY BEEFY FUCK ME

but can we talk about the reindeer headband 🥹😭 how can he be so hot and cute at the same time

#if you haven’t noticed #i’m loosing my mind #i miss him so much #it hurts #but god bless for this photo #i’m going to obsess over it for the next week #seventeen #seungcheol #choi seungcheol #svt choi seungcheol

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hinaliix · 11 months

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So guess who finished rewatching Trigun stampede and cried the whole time ✋

#trigun #trigun stampede #vash #vash the stampede #trigun stampede spoilers #trigun stampede season 2 predictions!#so yeah I cried so much during this rewatch oh my #after reading Trimax everything hurts that much more #I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE ERIKS ARC YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA #once stampede Erik’s is here I am going to lose my godamn mind #can you tell which character is my favorite…Vash. it’s fucking Vash the stampede #god…I miss him so much already my sweet boy #just in general tristamp is so beautiful and I really can’t wait for final phase to come out #maybe I should draw season 2 wolfwood? that’d be fun I think #I drew Vash once again as my coping mechanism #what is wrong with me lol

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jeongyunho99 · 1 year

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Random Yunho gifs [31/?]

#jeong yunho #ateez #ateezedit #atzsource #kpopccc #ateezlovenet #ateezgif #ateez yunho #ateez gifs #yunho #Random Yunho gifs #god i miss him so much #its hurts #i hope he is doing well #he is so precious #mywork

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ashleyeveerson · 1 year

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hiiiii dr who fandom *crawls from under a nest of blankets after binge-watching season 5*, how's it going?

so yes, I've recently discovered this show (i am a bit late to the party) and have a LOT of thoughts about a LOT of characters

would really appreciate some mutuals who are equally as deranged about this show as i am

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meownotgood · 9 months

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sweetest boy

#god I miss him so much #it's not even funny anymore I just hurt #I look at him and I... I just.........#he's so beautiful #aki aki aki aki aki aki aki #the most beautiful ever #I love him with all of my heart #aki <3

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designernishiki · 8 months

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you ever think about how by yakuza 8 haruto will be 8 years old and won’t remember kiryu at all, and if/when he shows back up kiryu will be a total stranger to him. haha

#:) suffer with me #rambling #y6 #realistically the closest person to him in what would’ve been kiryu’s role in haruto’s life would be nagumo #especially considering he’s got so god damn many parallels to kiryu despite his personality being so different #I also think he’d know uncle akiyama because akiyama’s the closest other protag to haruka and is a civilian so he doesn’t have like a Ton #of risk visiting her- at least not nearly as much as other characters who Aren’t civilians #he’s also got the Money to travel so there’s that prjscjdjsjc #no but for real? i feel like he’d visit but Also he’d fund the orphanage. for kiryu’s sake haruka’s sake even mirei’s sake in a way #ahh……anyway it’s killing me to think about 8 year old haruto finally actually meeting kiryu and knowing not to be scared of him or anything #cause of everything haruka’s said about him and all that- but having absolutely no emotional connection to him at all. so he’s still just…#a stranger to him. like that’s just the cruel truth #kiryu missed his most important developmental years and isn’t a part of haruto’s life and even if he were to show back up and be around for #good it’d take years until their bond feels like a true deep familial one #it’s very very very bittersweet to think about kiryu trying to bond with him. ohhh man yeah that hurts to think about. oh boy #haruto #kiryu

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slutfortheeclaymore · 11 months

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He’s beyond perfect & beautiful!! God, seeing him look happy & healthy brings a smile to my face & tears to my eyes! Love him him much! 💙💙💙

#drew mcintyre #drew galloway #drew mcintyre is hot af #big daddy drew #world wrestling entertainment #big daddy claymore #wwe #drew mcintyre is hot #hot daddy #god hes beautiful #and I’m totally not checking out his package in the last pic #ok I totally am #i miss him so much it hurts

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gooperts-gunk · 4 months

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me when the doomed yaoi is actually doomed. im so upset give them back (this post is about 4halo)

#goopert talks qsmp #qsmp #4halo #not actually upset i mean /rp upset like fittingly upset about the situation that has occured for q!bbh and q!forever on behalf of them #anyway WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOREVER IS EITHER TAKING A BREAK FROM THE QSMP OR IS LEAVING PERMANENTLY WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON'T KNOW WHICH #IM SO SADDDDD im gonna miss them so much #meanwhile cc!bbh when he sees a moment to make his character spiral: >:) (he's so real for that)#ohhhh everything hurts it's all gonna hurt so bad. ohhhhh god #also you know how bad can do x4 quests now for some reason?#imagine one of those is for richas. oh my god.#guys im already envisioning richas relying on q!bbh more and more and eventually wanting to call him pai im so sad

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decembermoonskz · 11 months

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I thought watching mugen train final episode was a good idea somehow :))) (spoilers in tags and comments bc I can’t keep my mouth shut lmao)

#izzy.txt★#kny spoilers #demon slayer spoilers #I miss rengoku so much #WHY WOULD THEY MAKE THE CREDITS A MEMORIAL TO HIM I MEAN YES BUT ALSO NOOOO #LiSA and her amazing vocals making me cry too 😭😭😭#god this show #honestly he’s my favorite so like this hurts so much #I’m not even upset about the other deaths I know are in this series #his broke me badly when I learned about it #HIS CROW CRYING BROKE MY HEART THAT HURT SO BAD #AND THE OTHER HASHIRA FINDING OUT HHHHHHHH EVEN GIYU WAS SAD IN A WAY #LIKE GOD FUCK THIS SHOW (I love it so much)

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gregoftom · 11 months

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mannnn who up tearing up over the sticker scene

#txt #i just starting thinking about how terrified greg must have been :(((((#he made a mistake and why would tom protect him now when he can pick and choose so much more freely who he wants #logically i'm sure he knows matsson is indeed pissed over what he did but he doesn't hate greg at least not enough to get rid of him #yet that kind of phrasing he believes in an instant bc he's in such a state of fear you can see it in his eyes in his movements #he's so afraid he's gonna go right back to being homeless to his last 20 bucks and no one will save him. no one will love him. no one will #care. but tom!!!!!! oh GOD tom!!!! says i got just enough capital!!!! i got you! and then says I GOT YOU AGAIN! just so greg didn't miss it!#you hear me? i got you!!! i'll keep you!#can i come with you nero? YES YOU CAN THATS NOT EVEN A QUESTION #and the sheer. like. shock. of being chosen like that. greg is just staring at tom as he plucks the sticker off #stock fucking still as tom puts it on even swaying slightly with the gentle force of tom putting the sticker on him bc he #can't quite believe it for a second #then he breaks into a dopey sideways smile and tom tells him gently again i got you.#you got me? even after everything? even after i made a mistake? even though i hurt you? even though i tried to make my way #and failed? even after i slapped you? even after i fought back in the bathroom? you still want me?#it just. man idk it hits me right in the kokoro....

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vvanessaives · 7 months

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no but thinking of violante's manic state following her murder of ruven and that sick game of association-replacement played by gortash where he acts just like ruven did, picks up some of his behaviours and mannerisms and speech patterns he specifically used with violante and that he knows of well bc he observed and studied them interact, so that he can fill up the now empty spot left by ruven's death.

#rena.txt #LIKE THE LAYERS. vio is visibly not. alright. it's all about 'i'm alone without him' so he plays a role. takes advantage of the weakness so #to devote her to him like she was devoted to ruven. vio could've killed for ruven and now more than ever she's a powerful asset to have on #your side. plus she showed she can and will kill. she took out the only person she cared for (in their twisted ways) in the world so she's #useful but dangerous. a double edged blade. no better moment than now that vio is so unstable and lacks purpose and a sense of community #to lure her on his side for his future plans. there's smth about the manipulation in it that makes me lose it like #i know this is what you desperately need rn and i know you know you will never have it back so what if i showed you i can be that thing #you're missing? that sense of loneliness is what he's pressing on the most. and the loss too. and vio notices ofc she recognises when he #speaks or acts in a certain way. she's aware but willingly letting his plan work bc god. she does miss ruven so sickly much and the comfort #in a lie is preferable to what's going on in her mind in that moment.#there's exploitation and there's a lil touch of loneliness on his side too and it's bitter to pretend to be someone else to convince her to #stay but he won't ever admit it. genuinely think that if vio didn't leave without saying a word his plan would've worked. she'd willingly #pretend he could replace ruven. it would hurt less probably #that devotion that could lead her to do great horrors...both her weakness and strength 👍 the illusion of free choice 👍#it's past 3am if i could elaborate better i would but i feel like i'm having visions at this point.hit me with a giant hammer so i can slee #i 🫶 toxicity in my characters dynamics btw

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phoenix-flamed · 8 months

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@valiisthea brought to my attention a fun little detail I missed about the feast scene at Phoenix Gate --

Elwin fucking. playfully ballroom dancing with Tyler while they're all singing Rosaria's anthem adfgl;jkgkl;f

#Headcanons #THIS ISN'T A HEADCANON IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE GAME BUT STILL #I'M SOBBING OH MY GOD IT'S SO CUTE AND STUPID AND I LOVE THEM ALL????#except for the traitors but #OH MY GOD MY HEAD HURTS FROM LAUGHING SO MUCH I'M SO DELIGHTED BY THIS #EVERY TIME I THINK I CAN'T LOVE THIS SILLY ADORABLE SHITPOST OF A MAN ANY MORE THAN I ALREADY DO SOMETHING ELSE GETS BROUGHT UP #AND I FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM ALL OVER AGAIN #WHY IS HE LIKE THIS. I LOVE HOW MUCH HIS MEN LOVE HIM TOO LIKE #I KNOW I KNOW I WISH SO MUCH HE'D BEEN MORE ATTENTIVE TO JOSHUA'S NEEDS AND GIVEN THE POOR BABY THE REASSURANCE HE WAS LOOKING FOR #HE TRIED -- HE SWUNG AND HE MISSED IN TRYING TO REASSURE JOSHUA #I SINCERELY STAND BY MY HEADCANON THAT HE'S MORE ATTUNED TO BEING A SOLDIER THAN HE IS TO BEING A DAD #EVEN THOUGH HE LOVES HIS SONS DEARLY #AND IT DOESN'T HELP THAT HE PROBABLY WASN'T AROUND WHEN JOSHUA WAS GROWING UP AS MUCH SO HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO CONNECT WITH HIM #BUT LA;DFKGJGLK HE'S A GOOD GUY #OR AT LEAST HE'S TRYING HIS BEST #I like how the headcanon stuff just ends up in my tags instead of the actual post lol

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