#vvvvaaaannannnaayyayayay comr home.
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he makes me physically ill with his existence in the best way possible
#god i miss him so much it hurts#i want to hold onto him and never let go#being around him is painful sometimes only because i know im going to have to be without him again#i am in an episode#hashtag bee pee dee#my therapist is quitting i hope she feels bad bc mamacita is snapping#vvvvaaaannannnaayyayayay comr home.#starts bashing my head against the wall so hard i see spots. slash romantic#evwrythine ignore this#do u know that part in the beginners guide where its like i still love you you just make me feel cold inside. me about vanya and rowan pos#sorry i am full of love slash horrible neverendimg violence and misery#i need to be medicated#where are my fucking BOYS#vanya. rowan. serena. come home.#neon too i miiiiiiiiiisss you all.#i think the demons r winning#oh also that part in the beginners guide thats like. you cant talk yourself out of loneliness#yea.#i think im a bpd symptom holdeelr#im not oz i should clarify that but us when we r a system and function as one#'when i am around you i feel physically ill' my bb ouys. where are hthrhey.#im a little drunk if that is not obvious#killing anf murdering#ok goodnight ( it is 10 am )
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