my whole life, waiting for you: part 1 (ross x girlband gf!reader angst/fluff)

i don't know. i just wanted to write something. it's more pining/missing someone than actual angst, and there's more to come, at some point. loosely inspired by the seminal song super trouper by abba lol. i hope you like it <3

it's sunny in glasgow today. which is weird, especially for february.

but it's beautiful, ross thinks. it's a shame that a city so made up of sandstone doesn't get to see the sun so often; the buildings seem to glow when the daylight hits them, reflecting off the glass fronts of their newer neighbours, the intricate details in the stonework clearer than he's ever seen them before. 

the people on the street below seem to glow in the sunshine, too, which is saying something given that ross's hotel room looks out onto hope street, to the flood of people heading to and from glasgow central station. at half 8 on a thursday morning, you'd expect a certain level of crabbiness (or crabbitness, in scotland) from them, as they make their way to another day of work and school and uni, but everyone's a bit more cheery today. scarves have been unravelled, jackets unzipped… there's even one guy walking about in a t-shirt and shorts as if it's mid-july.

ross smiles at the sight, but it doesn't last long. 

you should be here seeing it all with him.

but you're still in london, hundreds of miles away, and he won't see you until he's back there himself. it's only four days away, but it's been ten since the last time you were together, and ross has decided that a fortnight apart is simply too long. especially after the months spent continents apart at the end of last year.

still, it's not like either of you can do anything about it. he's on tour. you're in the final days of production on your band's new album. there's no resentment, at least, because you've both been in the other's shoes, but there's pining, and a loneliness that no amount of calls and texts and facetimes can fully shift.

a knock on the door briefly interrupts it, though, and a familiar deep voice follows. "ross, mate, s'me."

george. ross opens the door, and is immediately pulled into a hug - a proper one, not a hyper-masculine bro hug - before his friend steps into the room and surveys the view. "nice day."

"yeah," ross nods, moving to stand next to george. "sun's nice."

the two men stand in silence for a minute, side by side, looking out at the city below. george turns to look at ross, chewing the inside of his bottom lip. "you alright today, mate?"

ross nods. "just… well, you know how it is. missing my girl."

"yeah, exactly," george nods too, then smiles. "m'happy for you, though. a bit pissed off that you didn't tell me until last night, but mostly happy."

"wasn't even planning on telling you, mate," ross huffs out a laugh. "the night just got the better of me."

the night, beginning with a two-hour long facetime with you after dinner that only exacerbated your respective lonelinesses. ross loves his job, absolutely fucking adores it, but as the days pass he's less and less reluctant to admit that the nomadic nature of touring is beginning to wear a bit thin for him. when you answered that call, tucked up in bed wearing what was unmistakably ross's slowdive t-shirt, brew in hand and glasses on… he did find himself wishing that the next show was the final one, so he could go home to you. and yet, despite that, talking to you did perk ross up a little bit, enough to make him agree to go for some drinks with the band and the techs and try to have a nice evening. 

but the loneliness soon won out again, and the alcohol took over; forty-five minutes after everyone got to what ended up being the final pub of the night, ross was outside chaining cigs and thinking about your call again. george came out for his own smoke, found his friend near tears, and that's when ross spilled the whole story to him, the whole truth about you and him and your relationship. after eighteen months, your secret was finally released, in the middle of mitchell lane, under the neon lights and the moon and a cloud of marlboro smoke, at one o'clock in the morning.

"yeah, well, i'm glad you said," george grins. "she's great. i love her."

"so do i," ross sighs. "and i really, really miss her."

his friend nods. "only four days, though, for both of us. we'll manage. trust me, ross, it'll fly in. and it'll be good. two nights of glasgow shows, yeah?"

"if we were anywhere else, i'd be so much worse."

"i believe it. now," george picks up ross's jacket from the back of a chair and holds it out to him. "shall we take advantage of the nice day and go for a coffee with the boys?"

ross shrugs. "might as well."

***

"george says it's sunny today."

you slowly crack your eyelids open and look at charli blearily. "in glasgow?"

"i know! i didn't believe it either, until he sent me a pic. here," charli, admirably and enviably well-rested and energetic, thrusts her phone towards you.

"oh, yeah. pretty," you squint closer at the screen, noting the infamous 'people make glasgow' sign framed against a backdrop of clear blue sky. squinting further, you make out adam mid-stride towards the city chambers, turning back to look at an animated (probably making a shit joke about george and george square) matty and a smiling ross. a pang of longing hits you square in the chest as you look at your boyfriend and the crinkles by his eyes, drawing a lovesick sigh from your lips.

charli smiles softly at you, putting her phone down on the pull-down table and pulling you into a hug. "three hours to go, babe."

"i know. god, i must sound so stupid, sighing like a fucking war wife or some shit."

"not at all, it's cute," your friend says. "and i always thought you and ross would be cute. didn't i tell you that?"

"i don't think you ever said 'cute', per se, but you did say if we started an onlyfans together then you'd subscribe. so, kinda the same thing, i suppose."

"and i stand by that statement," charli giggles. her face softens. "were you and him, like, together, when i said that?"

"uh huh. had been for a year."

"jesus christ," she shakes her head. "i can't even be annoyed at you for keeping it a secret, because i'm just so fucking impressed you managed to do it for so long."

you shuffle in your seat to look out the window, the view a blurry patch of trees somewhere between london euston and glasgow central. "yeah, in hindsight, we probably shouldn't have hidden it for so long. i'm worried people are going to be upset that we did, when we tell them."

"by people… d'you mean matty?"

you nod, pressing your lips together in nervousness. it's definitely worse for ross, given their long friendship, but matty and george have become almost like older brothers to you through their support of you and your band, and so the fear of the former being hurt by the upcoming revelation is very real to you too.

"oh, he'll be too excited to be sad," charli grins, then giggles maniacally. "and too busy trying to convince you and ross to have musical-prodigy kids."

you think you wouldn't be opposed to that idea, but it still seems too soon to say it out loud.

"i hope you're right, charli," you say instead, although you can't keep the tiny smile from your face at the sweetly domestic thought. "you really think he won't be angry? or adam? christ, imagine upsetting adam! i'd never forgive myself."

"well, put it this way," charli moves so she can look you in the eye, taking your hands in her own. "i was woken up at 2am by george telling me you and ross were secretly together, and that i just had to drop everything today to get the train to glasgow with you so you could surprise him, and my overwhelming emotion was not anger, but excitement. so yeah, i think the boys'll be fine."

you squeeze her hands gratefully. "you took the 2am phone call better than i did," you snort. "i could've throttled your boyfriend for waking me up, babe. especially after the week i've had."

charli laughs. "just think, though - in a few hours, you'll have ross to kiss it better."

and what a nice thought that is. you're aware of your body sinking further into the plush train seat, but every other sense zones out the present completely in favour of remembering past kisses with your boyfriend; it isn't until charli actually pinches your bare forearm that you snap out of your romantic little daydream about ross's lips and tongue and hands.

she laughs when you frown at her, wriggling in her seat into what you've come to learn is her gossip pose. "your face just lit up there - i take it ross isn't lacking in kissing ability?"

you smirk. "not in the slightest."

"i love that for you. and what about ability," charli's volume drops as her brows lift. "... elsewhere?"

the smirk grows, and you gleefully swing your legs as much as you can without instigating an argument with the person sitting in front of you. "no comment."

"oh, you bitch," your friend lightly slaps your arm. "at least tell me if you're satisfied or not, please!"

your mind thinks back to the last night you saw your boyfriend, and to the beard burn still lingering on your inner thighs. "'satisfied' is an understatement."

"obsessed with that. obsessed with the two of you! tonight's going to go well. i can feel it."

deep down, you know charli's right. it's your friends you're telling about you and ross tonight. they love you. they want you to be happy.

you want that too. you want to be able to be the properly proud adoring girlfriend at the side of the stage tonight, cheering on ross and shouting "i love you"s and doing your utmost to get him to do that crinkly-eyed smile that makes your heart glow. all you have to do is be honest with your friends.

ross's eyes cross your mind again, for the millionth time today. yeah, tonight will go well - you'll make sure of it. for him.

MilkCan designs for acrylic pins in celebration of Um Jammer Lammy 20th Anniversary! They’re a guitar (Lammy!) and a vocalist/bass player (Katy!)

Portrayed them as if the lamb / cat thing were a stage caracterization so they can be combined just fine with the Bill n’Ted ones I’m also baking

N.F Idol GF (Dongsung)

~Rachel~

@/anon thanks for the request! Inspiration came backwards this time 😅 the rest are on the way!

Masterlist

Content: established relationship, secret dating, lil angst, fluff

Word count: .8k

This one definitely continues off of the kiss me miss me au

To recap essentially you met as trainees and you were instant best pals

You can basically read each other’s minds like it’s a little freaky sometimes

Not sure if you ever really said “hey let’s date”

It was just a mutual understanding that you were a couple now

Anyway when you finally finally finally debuted

As like I don’t know the bassist of an FNC girlband

(Which is. a need)

You were allowed to post that he gifted you a pretty set of picks

As well as flowers for both you and the rest of the group

What you were not allowed to post was the couple bass charms he bought

Which you both hope you’ll be able to put on your cases someday

He came and surprised you and your bandmate on vlive

And the two of you stole the show whoops

Your poor bandmate looked like a third wheel

And no one could follow along with what you were talking about

Because mind reading

And you left out like every other sentence

Anyway after he said goodbye you had some very serious defense to put up

“Dating?? Couple???”

Very careful not to deny because that would hurt his feelings so much

Like he would understand totally of course but it would hurt you know?

But also definitely careful not to confirm because that would be Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with D and that stands for Dispatch

“We’ve been close since we were trainees”

“We‘ve known each other for what almost eight years?”

“We’re very close”

It’s a good thing you were friends for so long before you started dating

It was a surprisingly sturdy alibi

He loves playing your songs on his Rolling to Nfia

His silly little smile

He gets so happy

And when you cover his bass lines on your vlives?

Baby

He is so soft

He always wishes he could gush about you to Nfia as you are rather than just as a close friend

He has been Hwhipped for you since relationship day 1

And just like.

He wants to do normal couple things for the world to see

Hence the charms

But he wants to do couple rings so bad

You have a few odd matching pairs of shoes but you have to be careful with those sometimes

If anyone were to look through your closets, they would be appalled at how much stuff you have that matches

It helps that when either of you is out in public, your stylists dress you

But it’s kind of a wonder that no one’s caught your matchy-matchy antics yet

Back to that “we’ve been friends forever” alibi though

The two of you visit each other on sets all the time

The two of you go out to lunch on break together at least once a week

You were almost invited to Seunghyub Summer Camp

Because

“Oh we’re just so close!”

“We’ve known each other for so long!”

“We just really enjoy each others’ company!”

And people just eat it up

“What a pure friendship ㅠㅠ”

“I hope I can have a friendship like that”

"Why can’t I be friends with them”

For now though he’s okay with the world not knowing

As long as he gets to spend time with you

His smile when he opens up the door to see you on the other side is the most precious and pure thing

The little sparkles in his eyes when he sees you in the sweater he bought you

And when he rushes back into his room to change into the one that matches

The number of times you’ve accidentally fallen asleep on the living room floor because you were hanging out like it was a middle school sleepover

And the number of nights he’s spent on the couch with you at your dorm when you try to pull all-nighters watching dramas

So much wasted leftover tteokbokki because you fell asleep before you could put it away

Anyway you’ll probably be the one to buy couple rings

He doesn’t want to do it until you’re out to the public

But you need to know if you can physically make him cry with a sweet gesture

You know exactly how much it would mean to him

He already gives the best hugs

Jaehyun’s girlfriend gave him flowers one time and he didn’t shut up about it for weeks

You know deep in your soul that you need to get Dongsung to do something like that

There’s really just nothing like when his emotions get too big for his heart to handle

He has so much love to give and when he receives it in return??

Anyway I’m soft for Seo Dongsung I hope everyone is okay with that

~끝~

Seunghyub

Do you think that Zerrie was a real PR relationship? If so, why do you think Modest changed their approach to PR relationships, seeing as how they now seem to specialize in short term relationships that we know won’t last instead of long term relationships that seemingly have no end.

I wouldn’t say they specialize in short term relationships that won’t last. Look at Crikey. Louis and Eleanor. Zayn and Gigi. I absolutely do think that Zerrie was PR because girlbands just don’t do as well as boybands and they never have. What better way to promote Little Mix than putting one of their members with a member of the biggest boyband in the world? I don’t hold it against Perrie, by the way, because she was a kid. I think she was just as forced into that stunt as Zayn was. 

I think the PR stunt depends on the person and what public persona they’re supposed to have. I think it also depends on contracts and re-negotiations when those contracts come up. 

There are those who are serial daters and womanizers, or perpetually single (Harry, Niall, Calum), the mature committed ones (Louis, Michael), the ones that apparently are heavily dependent on their “gfs” (Luke, Zayn) and then the ones that just date anyone that crosses their paths (Liam, Ashton). 

It’s all very convoluted, tbh.

brief note.

Disclaimer: just a woman share her past story. For some throwback moment, I don't really come out as a part of lgbt community, even in high school era. I don't feel that is necessary for me, since I got something fuck-worthy to figure out soon, named college. To be honest, I already coming in for myself since junior high school. I make time for my self, contemplating what I really been through and what should I do about that. I just like, or actually fell in love with my bff back then. I know I was gay when I realize recently, I actually put her photo as my facebook cover and also comment with other people that I really valuing this bff things (ehe, you know). The part that makes everything so counterintuitive is I always with boy since day one I experienced, so I don't have much time and energy with my s/o. I am being brainwashed with facts that lgbt community is a sinner, a contagious behavior and it should be punished whatever it takes. I don't believe in those facts, I know they (it's used to be 'we') are not less human than the rest of us. They are not a contagious disease that need to be stopped the spreading. They are human and they are valid for whatever they feel. For my idea of it, I got plenty of gay friends, I hear their story as well and asking what this world as in their perspective. I always try to be their safest place to stay. The beginning of 2019 hit me real hard. I learned a lot. It was starting when I know I had crush with the girl I used to go class with. I came to her and express my feeling genuinely. I am not the silent one when it comes to my feeling and what my heart wants. So, basically I started this relationship with her, I broke up with my five years worth boyfriend and start living my life in my own motto - no regrets. The love life was horrible and it's affect for both party. I will tell you simply what I feel and I don't mean to generalize them. I came with upper middle class family with no problematic parents and surrounding with helpful people, caring friends, and loyal boyfriend. Thankfully, it's a blessed circumstances for me. I maintain all the relationship maturely enough and I don't feel attacked in all parties. Unfortunately, I have a black-record on mental illnesses because I couldn't control my own mind for at least two years and I need to be treated. I started my first semester on junior year to learn about myself and its attached mess. When I already made so much effort, crawled to put my shit together at the end of first semester, life won't understand me easily. It gave me double hard rock at the beginning of year and I can't defeat this alone. Thanks to my best friends, they actually pull me up for this uncommon infinite loop of self absorbed and shamelessness. Back before enlightened version of me, I became a less merciful servant, least grateful person on earth, and also the first rank on being spoiled daughter. I feel so unnatural, bathed in everything I want but I don't feel happier. I felt stuck, this is not me. I don't have any spark on changing the world like I used to be. I don't dedicate enough time to pursue my passion. I don't put any interest on things like self growth, ethical eating, or sustainable lifestyle I used to be. I engulfed with entitlement. I used to think and feel as 'I am special snowflake falling in love with girl, against the odd, we're cool, we aren't less human, and you should know that'. The part of 'you should know that' really mean it. We think that God would understand and approve this artificially-beautiful relationship. We committed awful things shamelessly, I don't think about people's feeling. We made time for each other even though she will fail on her class and I am suffering from sleep deprivation because I need to make sure my grades are not surfing down at the same time I madly fell in love with her. We searched someone or some art to support our preference of love. She made me a beautiful lesbian art, I made her a lesbian love playlist. We were surfing on youtube, finding gay girlband, lgbtq+ allies that supports us no matter what cruel world do to us. We were escaping together, made a coping mechanism for untangled thread of college life. We spent our limited money to give each other gifts every single time we met. I even asked for double amount the monthly pocket money to treat her and my parents accepting my white lies. Simply, we were confused. I was the victim of pseudo-happiness and I was the servant of lust and temptation. One day, God gave me a turning point through my best friend. She always there with me when I met my girlfriend. She cried in front of me, when we were having lunch together, just two of us. "I don't want us (and all of my peer group) are going to suffer in hell because we failed to hold your hand, together for heaven." The clichè sentence she said to me were not change my lusty love for my girlfriend and she continues her sentence. "Do you want to see me burnt?" Tears coming down from both of my eyes. My heart already cracked slowly. My neck choked and my breath blocked. This is the feeling I craved for whole time, awe. She grab my shaked hands and look at me. I can't see her face, I am ashamed. I am totally repent from my sin at the time. I broke up with my gf and she blamed me for too-hear what people said and she never liked my best friend at all. My best friend knew that my gf don't like her and she's okay with that. One lesson I learned was I have such help from God through my best friends and I always feel thankful for the blessings. As the devil made for tempting us, made the forbidden one just as good as the real one, I actually came back and repeat my sin again for twice, with the same person. I already tidy up the mess I made and I promise to my gf that I won't involved any person in our private love life. So, we were doing same, but we commit things more horrible everything you can think of. I don't feel so good for the second time. I realized I am being denial but I don't know what. I keep accepting terrible facts for my consciousness but I don't know what they are. The black thing crippling through my skin, already infected my brain, but I'm dumb. I don't know what that feeling is. I can't reach any help from people and my friends I used to be, she will blame me twice. So, I need to defend myself all alone this time. One night I was in the middle of chatting with her, she told me her insecurity for being with me. "I was insecure that you have lovable family, caring best friends and loyal ex bf. I am insecure, I constantly comparing my self with your past ex. He can do anything for you, anything. He wrote your story, made a song for you and gained success with it. He fulfilled you with attention, loyalty, and material than me. He is the faithful one for you, balanced with your strong-willed treat. I just the gamer girl, don't have any long-term goals with shitty life. I buried myself with superficial things. So, what you chasing after me? What value you can gain for me?" My heatbeat stopped for one second, my brain freezed. This is the black thingy that crippled into my skin. It feels like I've peeled off from something that taped me tightly. Why I chase her? Do we need better than this? I know she feel shitty and I want to make things better for us. "I choose you because you taught me to chill out with life. I see you enjoy your life with all the mess you made, you gave me sort of happiness that simply anybody can't give to me." I felt horrible because deep down I lie to her but I can't make her worse. So, right now I just made the white lies and continue myself to pursue my dream. I actually tell her to do something, to help herself manage her feeling, I don't want to brag it, but the result it was same. She always back to daily preference for searching something that comfort her inner mess instead of really solve the problem for long term inner peace. I keep note for myself, I don't want to give a fuck with someone that doesn't do something about their own life to be better. She exploded and blame me for too-hear my ex's suggestions about life and ignore her. I just fed up with her, so I just say yes. Yes to all the premises she dump for me. I took the blame I could take. Don't mention all the block, unfollow, and 'hide' action she takes, I just want a breakfree for this attached rope. We broke up for the second time. Lesson that I ever learn for this one is stop paint on other people canvas if God already show their painting. Almost two months I never heard about her, I keep figure out what I need to do with my life. In the middle of noon, I was sick, she called me and I answer weakly. She was missed me and I kinda took it easy. I don't want to be blamed again for messing thing I feel I never do that. I just take her love and reply it back with no hard feeling. Friend need to love each other, right? I already move on from her, so whatever she does it doesn't affect me at all. I don't greet her, chat her regularly for weeks because I know that she's not fuck-worthy. I do care about her, she's free to tell me a story and I always hear it, but I don't want attached to her anymore. One night I'm in the middle of jinjer playlist on my youtube, writing animal structure for junior year dictates, she told me that I'm not a human being, I just cruel, egoistic, and cold hearted girl that don't think about her feeling. She was stalking through my instagram and find highlighted story with my ex when we are collaborating with some business project and I help him with the upcoming interviews. She blamed me for ruthlessly messed up with her feeling. I just can't stand it, and I need to reply all the blame she gave to me, and now I just have the courage to stand as myself, defend all my untapped dignity to keep her calm. At the end, everything I got just a 'cheater' title from her. Lesson I need to extract here is whatever other people said harsh thing to you, blame you for your weaknesses, don't let yourself throw pity party. Everyone has their side of anxious part and maybe my being just made her feel threatened. After almost one month, I already healed completely for all the torture, I am not obligated to her feeling. So, I went to Depok, makeover my rooms with our pictures hanging the walls of my bed. I send the snapchat and wholesome picture for her. She was making time for catching up with me. I was so happy I could meet her but at the end I express my feeling for her, I said I can do the sweet things without being attached to her, just like I treated all my friends. She neglected my goodwill and tell me I don't have to do that for her, but to be honest I treated her just like friends, no hard feeling and she can't take it. Simple lesson learned for this experience is whatever you do for mend the good and healthy relationship, be sure it will accepted maturely for both of parties involved. So, shout out for her my first and maybe the only girl I ever have the lovers relationship with. Please pray for her peacefulness upon all the mess and chaotic cloud everyday. I'm so sorry for all shameless acts we do and pray together for God's mercy. I pray we all find serendipity in our day with fulfilled heart and caring companionship whatever the battles we experienced through the day. Keep strong and always learn the lesson from our experiences and other's. May God forgive us all. Semoga yang sedang cemas, ditenangkan hatinya. Semoga yang sedang bingung, diteguhkan pendiriannya. Semoga yang sedang sendiri, dikuatkan langkahnya. Semoga yang berada dalam kegelapan, dibimbing jalannya menuju cahaya. Tuhan akan membantu, percayalah. Tuhan hendak melihat hamba-Nya bersusah payah, lelah, dan penat tertatih menuju jalan-Nya. Tuhan ingin melihat usaha hamba-Nya. Sekali, sekali, sekali, dan sekali lagi.

I personally as a bisexual have never been able to choose in my life, but for the bi ask meme u should do 1-25 👌 ily sis

thank u so much sis ily to death girl

1- vanilla coke bi or cherry coke bi?oof neither haha !! diet coke all day i just like the taste. vanilla is too sweet and i dont like cherry flavour !!

2- smokey eye bi or sharp eyeliner bi?both one on top of the other is my Everyday Look and no one can stop me

3- gold bi or silver bi?GOLD !! all the way. i dont have a reason

4- moon bi or sun bi?aaaaA idk :( i love the moon shes my mum. but my gf has made me fall in love with the sun.

5- walk in the forest bi or walk on the beach bi?oooo thats So hard. but walk in the forest :> ( @terrestrial-astronaut )

6- milkshake bi or smoothie bi?MILKSHAKE !! I LOVE MILKSHAKES SO MUCH CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE HELL YEAH

7- pastel bi or neon bi?pastel !!! soft

8- PwP (plot without porn) bi or PwP (porn without plot) bi?god uh. theres a time and a place for both ?? but Plot will always come first.

9- pun loving bi or pun hating bi?LOVE PUNS. i can never make em tho :(

10- strong bi-fi game or weak bi-fi game?oof weak tbh. strong when it comes to fictional characters but irl?? i am blind

11- cat bi or dog bi?CAT !!! kitty cat kitty cat kitty cat pls. i love them they keep me alive. also @vitariesocks. aaaalso my gf says that i *am* a cat person as in a cat in human form

12- boyband bi or girlband bi?ooOf neither rlly but girlband ??

13- coffee bi or tea bi?I love tea it makes me so warm and sleepy. its comforting. did u know im british. i lOve iced coffee in the summer tho

14- dyed hair bi or natural hair bi?i love my own natural hair !! but i LOVE brightly coloured hair like bright bright unnatural colours. mermaid hair !!

15- romcom bi or thriller bi?answered!!

16- matte lipstick bi or glossy lipstick bi?MATTE. tadaa

17- dragons bi or dinosaurs bi?already answered!

18- coffee shop au bi or high school au bi?Combine the two. coffee shop near a high school. boom. u cant tell me what to do

20- history bi or science bi?history!! i lov

21- frida kahlo bi or virginia woolfe bi?shut up. go away. i will not choose.

22- highkey bi or lowkey bi?highkey lmaoo i dont know how to not care about things

23- bowtie bi or tie bi?tie !! bowties look Bad on me but i like them on other ppl

24- selfie bi or candid bi?selfie lmaooo. i am Not photogenic so i gotta Work for a good picture

25- pizza bi or pasta bi?god i love both so much but pizza

Google tells me there are plenty of sushi places in Doncaster. Louis is playing the role of Ultimate Chav from Chavtown. But it's not any more authentic than Harry as Ultimate Rock Star of Destiny. Just like the girlband Louis talks about has been defunct for 6 weeks after being stalled for a year, & he doesn't actually have a GF he loves dearly, most of what he's spouting on these interviews is an act. Some of it's cute, some of it isn't.

I don't know. Nick seemed to react to the sushi story in the same way. I'm not from the U.K., but my impression is that Doncaster has a reputation for being a certain type of place and regardless of whether there actually are sushi shops there, it's not the kind of place where one typically goes for sushi. People exaggerate for the sake of making a story funny. As for Louis' "act"...I don't see him playing the chav. It felt more natural to me. He's joked about his Donny roots before. I think it's fairly natural to do that. But I do agree that he's playing into a storyline they've set up for him; the Everyman, the lad who eats McDonald's and drinks a pint, the one who'd rather hang with his mates than go to a Hollywood party etc. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that - I think that's truly a part of who he is. It's frustrating to me that we're not also shown the other parts of him that we know existI think, as a fandom, we're particularly sensitive to this because this "lad" persona has been used in negative ways: to set up a divide between him and Harry, to allow the idea that he'd knock up a random one night stand, to promote James Arthur, and -- most offensively imo -- to try to devalue Louis and his contributions to the band. He's so much more than the one-sided portrait they're painting, we know it and we want the world to know it. My hope is that this marketing plan is multifaceted and eventually his "character" will be broadened.

I'm so happy for H bc I love him with all my heart but I'm so sad bc of Louis' situation,honestly I feel like crying. It's not fair that he's still has a fake kid and fake gf + weird girlband stuff and syco connection. will he even have a good things?

I’m not trying to be mean, because I know you don’t have bad intentions, but I really really don’t want to get any more messages like this. I understand wanting stunts to end and wanting to hear more official team stuff for Louis--I do we all do. But to act like things will never change for Louis or he will never have good things (when he just performed a successful EDM single at a major festival I should add) is over dramatic and unrealistic. Things change behind the scenes before we see them. 

sweet touches (ross x girlband gf!reader fluff)

soz this is late it's actually day 11 of promptober and not 12 oops!! but we move. it's cute, it's fun, and it's lowkey super trouper by abba coded. i might genuinely write a fic inspired by that song for these two at some point, but enjoy this for now! <3

the party is in full swing when you and your girls arrive. clinging to one of their hands, you slowly weave your way towards the bar through the throng of people, a lot of whom you suddenly recognise as the sporadic lights inset in the ceiling throw their faces into focus.

there's one face present in particular, though, that no amount of shitty soho house lighting could disguise from you; you clock it almost immediately when you step through the door. understandable, considering you've spent a fair few nights learning every contour of that face with your own body, and even more insomnia-ruined nights committing it to memory in near-darkness, the only light in the bedroom being the tiny crack that escapes the side of the roller blinds.

plus, the fact he's six foot four and a creature of habit also helps your recognition capabilities. of course ross would be standing at the bar itself, whisky in one hand, the other in his trouser pocket, face pensive in concentration on whoever's talking and generally just ridiculously handsome.

said face morphs into a sly smirk as he notices you walking in. like you, ross is all too familiar with what your face looks like in low lighting, the result of more than a couple of gin-soaked late nights in his house, and of an entire weekend spent bare(faced and elsewhere) in front of the fire in a cairngorms log cabin, so he quickly spots you, too.

you feel your own cheeks lift in response. fuck, he's hot.

and he's yours.

despite that fact, you don't drop your friend's hand and make a beeline for ross as soon as the two of you lock eyes. there's a part of you wishes you could, but you're both enjoying the privacy of your relationship right now - someday, you'll go public, you've discussed it, but it's nice to have one thing that escapes the usual scrutiny your respective bands are both under. once the hype over you and your girls and the controversy around your boyfriend's best friend dissipates a bit (although, nobody's sure which thing will happen first), there's less chance of the two of you being pestered by paparazzi and the public when you finally step out together on purpose.

besides, you can still have some fun with your boyfriend now, albeit discreetly. neither of you say anything as you go to walk past ross - his face stays locked on the person he's in conversation with, yours stays peering ahead of you so you don't lose your friends - but he almost imperceptibly takes his hand from his pocket before you reach him. it brushes against your free one quite deliberately, calloused fingers looping around your own as much as they can within the limited time you have to connect. 

warmth seems to shoot through your body from your fingertips as soon as they meet ross's. you feel the cold set back in when the two of you slide apart again, and then the longing follows. suddenly, keeping the relationship contained in its own little bubble seems like an awful idea to you; if not for your friend's grasp on you, you'd probably run back to your boyfriend, cling to him, burrow into the crook of his neck and stay with him for the rest of the night.

but you stay somewhat composed, and merely chance a sneaky look back at ross, something neither of you tend to do on nights like these. after all, how many times have you bypassed each other at parties like you just did, and still ended up in his arms in one of your beds when the evening's over? it's a given. you both know it'll happen, trust that it will. there's no need to do an orpheus and turn back to double check. you know that, and your turning back to look at ross is less hadestown and more a star is born, anyway - you just don't want to stop looking at him, ever, can't resist one more peek.

you really miss him.

you're surprised to notice that ross is glancing back at you too, but his reasoning is clear; even in the poor lighting you can see the soft concern in his eyes. they soften, though, as he smiles at you and mouths "see you later", and you smile genuinely too. he really does know you so well, you think, to be able to tell from the shortest of touches that you're missing him. the warmth returns to your body with his little gesture, and your little bubble doesn't seem so bad anymore.

the glances don't continue past that point, and neither do the clandestine touches that fuel the two of you on nights like these. but it's alright - you have a nice enough time with your friends, mingling and sipping champagne, that you're fairly distracted from missing ross. that, and it takes a far shorter time for the two of you to "run into each other" than it has done before. 

the routine is always the same; somebody, but never either one of you, inevitably pulls the two of you into a conversation huddle. tonight, it's the queen of pop herself, charli, with an "oh, have you seen george yet? and ross? they'll want to hear this, surely" amidst a breakaway chat about production that started when she sat down to gossip with you and her bandmates.

you smile to yourself as the words leave her mouth - just she and her boyfriend and you and ross together, and then they'll go off to dance or smoke or kiss as they so often do, and you'll be left alone with your man in a seemingly casual way. perfect. "no, i haven't seen them at all tonight, actually."

liar.

"yeah? let's go and annoy them, then," charli stands, waving and kissing your bandmates goodbye before looping her arm through yours and leading you back towards the bar. again, you spot ross first, even though george is the one facing you and his girlfriend. he winks at her and nudges ross, who turns to look at the two of you approaching. he smiles, cheeks dimpling deeper and deeper as charli practically shoves you into the boys with an excited "look who i found!"

"hiya," george says, pulling you into a long, friendly hug. "it's been too long, mate. where have you been? nobody's seen you! you're almost as bad as ross, cooped up producing 24/7 now."

that makes you giggle - you both use the same excuse, and nobody's any the wiser about it. "well, we can't all have hot girlfriends distracting us from it, can we?" you wink at charli, who tugs you into her side and kisses your temple. "must be nice, eh, ross?"

it's extremely cheeky of you, and you might get into a teensy bit of trouble with your boyfriend for it later, but the opportunity was too good to pass up. and, to be honest, ross is really sexy when he's a little bit irritated at you.

he's also really sexy now, smirking at you. "well, i can only imagine."

"yeah," you laugh, breaking free of charli's hold and opening your arms towards ross. "hi, by the way. s'good to see you."

it's not a lie - the relief in your body just from being close to him is palpable, and it increases to such a level when he hugs you that you almost audibly sigh. home at last.

"back at you," ross says into your hair. it's agonising when he pulls away from you, but your heart races when he accidentally-on-purpose presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth instead of your cheek. "whoops, sorry about that, love…"

(he's so not.)

"...must be drunker than i thought," ross gives the most convincing faux-embarrassed grin you've ever seen, while charli and george cackle like schoolkids behind you at his "mishap".

"oh, it's alright," you smile, wrapping an arm around his waist casually. "what are you drinking, anyway?"

"whisky. talisker."

"would i like it?"

ross shrugs. "i don't know. let me buy you one and we'll see."

you do like it, a fact you discovered when you and ross took a trip to skye and visited the distillery during the summer, but it's nice to pretend, to let ross discreetly spoil you the way he loves to do; nobody even considers it a romantic or flirty gesture, as evidenced by george's "you and your crusade to get everyone drinking whisky, honestly".

"it's good for you, mate," comes your boyfriend's reply, delivered over his shoulder as he waits for the barman to pour you a half.

"so's weed, but you don't see me trying to convince everyone to smoke. maybe i should, actually. i don't know why more people here don't."

charli takes george's face in her hands. "because it's illegal in the UK, babe."

"oh, right, so it is."

the two of them collapse into a fit of the giggles, kissing cutely before ordering their own drinks. amidst their funny little distraction, ross gently pushes the crystal glass of your whisky along the bar into your hand. his hand covers yours, briefly, and as it does he uses his middle finger to tap three times on the back of your hand - i love you.

your heart swells, and you smile as you look up at him. sliding your glass back and hand from under his, you respond by tapping four times on ross's finger - i love you too - before bringing the glass up to your lips and letting the amber liquid roll down your throat. it kind of makes you feel the same way ross does, actually; warm, cosy, content. "this is nice."

"it is," ross agrees, and you know he's also referencing both the moment and the drink like you are. his brow furrows slightly, and he brings his free hand up to your face. "you've got a little…"

with his thumb, he wipes a stray drop of whisky from the side of your mouth, then boldly drags it across your lips before bringing it to his own and smirking.

"ross," you glance around quickly to make sure you're not being watched, before scootching closer to your boyfriend. "what was that?!"

"irresistible, love," ross winks. "waste not, want not, and all."

you laugh, which seems to remind george and charli of your existence. they move to stand between the two of you, george's arm resting on his best friend's shoulder and charli's slung around your own. she lightly pokes your cheek. "what are you giggling at?"

"how tipsy ross is. i think he needs his bed."

the two of them cackle again, while ross smiles warmly at you. "you're right, actually. would love to be in bed right now."

"actually," george turns to his girlfriend. "i'm ready to go home, too, i think."

"yeah, this party's a bit dead, anyway," charli shrugs.

you scoff. "course it is. it's a soho house."

everyone laughs, and george reaches around charli to clap you on the back. "see, this is why we all love you - you tell it like it is. take it you're heading out with us, then?"

"if that's alright, yeah," you nod, sipping your drink.

"absolutely," charli squeezes you. "where are you staying tonight?"

you name the area, pointedly not looking at your boyfriend. george is the one to note the familiarity, but he still doesn't cotton on. "oh, like ross. well that works perfectly, then - we'll get out first, and then the two of you can share the taxi for the rest of the journey. cool?"

ross nods. "cool. shall we?"

you down the rest of your whisky, and he snorts. "let me run and say goodbye to the girls - i'll get you at the door."

"i'll come with you, actually," ross chips in. "matty'll kill me if i don't pass on the message that he loves the new album to the four of you."

"as he should," charli says. "we'll get you outside."

you nod, and the two couples part ways. with a "fucking finally", ross takes your hand, and you lead him towards your - visibly tipsy - friends. the feeling of your hand in his spurs you on, and you barely manage to shout a "bye, girlies!" to your bandmates before you're tugging ross towards the door. before you reach it, though, he suddenly grabs your waist and pulls you into a darkened alcove; his lips are on yours immediately, and you moan at the feeling. 

despite your public setting, you wish the kiss lasted longer; ross pulls away after only a couple of seconds, before you can open your mouth and instigate a full make-out session. you whine almost involuntarily as he does, which makes him chuckle.

"m'sorry, baby," ross says, kissing your forehead before pulling you back into the party. "i just couldn't hold it in any longer. was gasping for that the whole night, honestly."

"me too," you smile, weaving your way back through the crowds - ross has to hold your hips to stay close to you, which of course you don't complain about. "can't wait for more when we get home."

"same," a final squeeze of your body, then ross lets you go as you step outside. "oh, there they are."

your timing couldn't have been any better - you and ross reach charli and george just as the cab does. ross ends up sitting next to you after you've all clambered in, and he rests his head on your shoulder in what you hope is only fake tiredness as charli directs the driver and the car sets off.

george squints at you and ross. "you know, you two would actually be a really good couple."

"really?" ross cracks an eye open to stare at his bandmate in amusement.

"oh, you so would! i mean, you look great together," charli agrees. "like, that's an onlyfans channel i'd subscribe to right there."

ross turns his face into your shoulder to cringe, while george shakes his head and you laugh in slight disbelief. "thanks?"

"you do look hot together, to be fair," george grins. "but i've seen ross naked enough in life already, cheers."

not relatable to you whatsoever, but you laugh along with the rest of them all the same, and sigh in slight relief when the couple opposite you get out of the taxi (after charli kisses all over your face repeatedly and promises to text you to organise dinner, a girls' holiday, and a studio session, "in that order").

as soon as your friends disappear from view, ross presses a little kiss to your neck and rests his hand on your thigh; he traces the little hearts on your tights quite happily, smiling into your skin as you tell the driver you're happy for the next drop-off point to be the final one.

you slide your arm behind ross's neck, reaching up and round to stroke the side of his face. "do you want to shower when we get in? or just a brew then bed?"

"i don't mind. i get to hug you either way," ross murmurs, softly kissing your jaw.

"sap."

"only when it comes to you, love."

i challenge u to answer: A L L of the bi this/ or that questions 😈

ALRIGHT BOI LETS DO IT

-

1. vanilla coke bi or cherry coke bi?

cherry coke always2. smoky eye bi or sharp eyeliner bi?

i wanna say eyeliner but i NEVER wear eyeliner anymore so…smokey eye3. gold bi or silver bi?

4. moon bi or sun bi?

moon bi !! thats my gf wtf5. walk in the forest bi or walk on the beach bi?

walk on the beach 6. milkshake bi or smoothie bi?

smoothie bi. we reclaiming fruity in 20187. pastel bi or neon bi?

neon bi because pastels remind me of my grunge phase in highschool8. PwP (plot without porn) bi or PwP (porn without plot) bi?

porn without plot if its a video but like… porn with plot if its audio or literary9. pun loving bi or pun hating bi?

PUN LOVING BI AND PEOPLE HATE ME FOR IT10. strong bi-fi game bi or weak bi-fi game bi?

stupid bi cuz idk what bi-fi is lol11. cat bi or dog bi?

why we gotta choose huh. i own a cat though so cat bi for now12. boyband bi or girlband bi?

i mean…like have you seen shoegaze girlbands? i rest my case13. coffee bi or tea bi?

coffee bi but i think im slowing moving to tea bi14. dyed hair bi or natural hair bi?

natural hair bi cuz colored hair is SO hard to upkeep15. romcom bi or thriller bi?

thriller because most romcoms are straight white and boring16. matte lipstick bi or glossy lipstick bi?

matte lipstick bi cuz my hair always gets stuck to lipgloss17. dragons bi or dinosaurs bi?

dragon bi !!18. coffee shop au bi or high school au bi?

coffee shop au bi19. nicki minaj bi or beyoncé bi?

FUCK I DONT WANNA CHOOSE UM beyonce i guess??20. history bi or science bi?

history bi all the way21. frida kahlo bi or virginia woolf bi?

i…know nothing about woolf so kahlo

22. highkey bi or lowkey bi?

highkey bi

23. bowtie bi or tie bi?

bowtie cuz its just….v gay24. selfie bi or candid bi?

no one takes candid pics of me so selfie bi25. pizza bi or pasta bi?

pizza bi !26. black nailpolish bi or colorful nailpolish bi?

colorful27. soft and squishy bi or sharp and pointy bi?

soft n squishy !!!28. *NSYNC bi or backstreet boys bi?

oooh fuck…..backstreet boys29. kinky bi or vanilla bi?

OOHHOHOHO KINKY BI30. playing with people’s hair bi or having your hair played with bi?

both ??31. norse mythology bi or greek mythology bi?

OH DAMN THATS HARD…im watching vikings right now so norse bi32. velvet bi or cashmere bi?

velvet bi33. black eyeliner bi or colorful eyeliner bi?

black eyeliner bi34. book quote bi or tv show quote bi?

tv show bi35. big city bi or small city bi?

big city bi36. rough sex bi or gentle sex bi?

rough sex bi !37. melon bi or grapefruit bi?

MELON BI fuck grapefruit i hate her38. bubblegum bi or breath mint bi?

breath mint bi39. mesh bi or lace bi?

lace bi40. vegetable bi or fruit bi?

fruit bi !41. jeans jacket bi or leather jacket bi?

DENIM JACKET BI even though i wear both42. sliced fruit bi or whole fruit bi?

sliced fruit bi43. heels bi or sneakers bi?

sneakers bi44. friendship crush bi or romantic crush bi?

hmmmmmmm….romantic crush bi?45. desert bi or ocean bi?

ocean bi46. going to sleep at 8 am bi or getting up at 8 am bi?

going to sleep at 8am47. messy bun bi or ponytail bi?

messy bun bi48. bee bi or bumblebee bi?

bumblebee bi49. parks & rec bi or friends bi?

friends bi always50. faux fur bi or faux leather bi?

faux leather bi51. Extra™ bi or regular bi?

extra bi52. acoustic bi or remix bi?

ACOUSTIC BI53. message bi or ask bi?

ask bi cuz i love attention54. board game bi or card game bi?

card game bi55. desaturated bi or color porn bi?

oooh…color porn bi56. pop bi or indie bi?

indie bi57. painting star constellations on their skin bi or painting animals bi?

star constellations bi58. astrology bi or mbti bi?

astrology bi59. pride parade bi or celebrating in ur PJs bi?

celebrating in PJs cuz my family is pretty homophobic BUT i might be going to pride this year60. eyelashes bi or eyebrows bi?

eyebrows bi

Sejarah Singkat

Aku emang baru setahun masuk ke dalam dunia KPop. Waktu itu, temen aku nularin virus BTS dengan ngasih unjuk MV Boy In Luv. Dan, aku tuh kan rajin banget nonton acara musik di TV itu. Sering mereka nayangin MV Run. Dan, mulai saat itulah aku jadi Kpopers, dan gak polos lagi. Bulan Januari 2016, gak tau tanggal berapa. Aku nonton acara musik yang lain, dan acara itu nayangin Chart Kpop dari 5-1. Aku nungguin BTS, padahal waktu itu kan ga lagi comeback ya :") Chart nomor 1 itu GFriend yang Rough. Dan MVnya juga ditayangin. Dalem hati. 'Wih nomor satu, keren. Tapi gue ga tertarik sama girlband. Apalagi temanya school gitu, pasaran banget." Well, sorry. Aku tarik omonganku itu setelah download MV Rough -.- Dan mulailah aku menjadi Buddy, sekaligus Army. Tapi aku sekarang lebih fokus dan update tentang GF, daripada BTS. Im a HARD Shipper of BTS & GFriend, so Welcome 😇

a girlband gf-verse instagram au

back again, this time for the ross girlies!! idk. it's fun. enjoy <3

my whole life, waiting for you: part 2 (ross x girlband gf!reader fluff)

you know where this is headed, you don't need me to explain!! if you do... read this first. enjoy <3

it's almost funny how calm the green room is. 

the atmosphere is a far cry from the manic, adrenaline and alcohol-fuelled hedonism that it was ten, fifteen years ago. adam is sat on the floor, facetiming his wife and son, chatting to the little boy about the murals the boys saw on their walk for coffee earlier. polly is beside him with her headphones on, watching something on her laptop, which rests on the coffee table. in the far corner, john, gabi, and jamie are battling it out on a mariokart race, and george - typical of him - is nowhere to be seen. he'd shouted to matty that he was just popping outside for something, but matty's curly head had been too engrossed in an essay collection to take in anything his friend had said.

ross is also reading, sat on the opposite end of the sofa from matty. well, he's trying to read, anyway - he can only focus on the words for a few seconds at a time, before they seem to start melting into illegibility on the page. it's not that it's a bad book, at all - in fact, he's actually really enjoying it - but it's making him think of you, and he's incapable of thinking about you without you completely taking over his mind. you recommended the novel, after all, and snuck your copy into ross's suitcase as a gift for tour with a "just so you don't forget to think of me".

as if he ever could.

the pages still smell like your perfume, a faint whisper of rose escaping into the air every time ross turns them. usually, he'd find it comforting, but today it's making the longing for you worse. he slams the book shut a bit harder than he means to, laying it down in favour of checking his texts from you - there's been nothing since your last message an hour ago, telling him you loved him and you'd speak to him soon.

matty looks up in mild concern as the book's covers meet. "shit story?"

"nah, just can't focus right now."

"fair enough," matty closes his own book and stretches, before curling up catlike with his head on the armrest of the couch. "how you feeling about tonight?"

crap. "alright," ross says, feeling anything but. "i'll feel better once we've soundchecked, i reckon. a bit more excited to go out there, y'know?"

"i'm the same," matty nods. "speaking of soundcheck, where the fuck is george?"

ross is about to shrug, when the man in question's famously impeccable timing kicks in; footsteps start to become audible through and towards the half-open door, george's unique laugh following it. following again is the smell of outside, freshly smoked cigarettes, and… your perfume? christ, ross really must be losing it.

and then you appear in the doorway.

your eyes dart round the room before locking onto ross's, and you beam at him. all the air leaves his lungs at once, and all thoughts except she's here leave his brain. in fact, all awareness of everything except your existence in the room totally abandons ross. he can't hear matty's cheerful cry of "HIYA!". he fails to register george and charli's presence in the doorway behind you. he doesn't even take notice of the sudden ground beneath his feet as he jumps up and runs to you. 

he's completely running on autopilot, which is why he automatically crashes his lips onto yours when he reaches you. no hesitation, no worrying about revealing your relationship to everyone else in the room… just the need to show you how much he loves you, misses you, needs you.

you kiss him back just as eagerly, wrapping your arms as far around his broad shoulders as you can. your level of awareness is marginally higher than your boyfriend's, and the gasps and shocked laughter and shouts of "WHAT THE FUCK" make you smile into the kiss. well, partially - just the mere fact you're actually kissing ross is enough to make you beam in itself.

ross breaks away first, reluctantly, just so he can breathe. but he keeps his forehead pressed to yours, big hands cupping your jaw as he smiles centimetres away from your mouth. there's silence - from the two of you, at least - for a second, save your deep breaths, you and him doing nothing but clutching each other and revelling in the closeness.

"hi, baby," you lean back to look at ross, and he actually thinks his heart might give out. the softness seems to sparkle in your eyes, your lips are slightly swollen from how hard he'd kissed you, and he thinks you've never looked more beautiful.

without warning or indication, ross lifts you into a hug, your legs wrapping around his waist out of habit as you shriek out a laugh. "hi, my love," he says into your neck, spinning you around excitedly and relishing in the way you giggle joyously. "missed you. so fucking much."

"so i've heard. s'why i'm here, angel."

"who?... ah," ross turns, so he can see george. "you?"

"me," george nods, then winces as charli elbows him indignantly. "well, us. we did this."

adam pipes up from his spot on the floor. "and what is this, exactly? i mean, i think i know, but the wife wants details," he waves his phone in the air, and from your vantage point of head-on-ross's-shoulder you catch a glimpse of carly on the screen (well, her hair).

"me and her both, hann," matty looks like he's going into shock, lying flat on the sofa with his hands latched on either side of his head - if either you or ross had been capable of noticing anything other than each other, you would have seen the way his jaw dropped when you kissed, and how he'd slid into his current position with a hushed chorus of repeated "what the actual fuck"s. he looks up at you, wide-eyed. "is this… a real thing?"

you nod as best you can without chinning ross. "the real deal. true love, i'd say," you tap your boyfriend's back, and he turns so you can both look at matty; you gently turn ross's head so he can look at you first, though. "that's a safe assessment to make, right, my love?"

"and an accurate one," ross kisses your nose, then turns to his best friend. "yeah, mate, she and i are pretty much settled now."

"the plan was to tell everyone after tour finished," you chime in. "because neither of us wanted the relationship to take the focus away from your music, or mine…"

"...but i got too emo last night and blabbed to george about how much i missed her," ross smiles, cheeks taking on the slightest hint of pink. "and here we are."

there's a vague chorus of awwws from around the room, and through adam's phone, but matty still seems to be processing. "what about your bandmates? do they know?"

thankfully, there's no hint of accusation in his tone, only curiosity. you exhale a breath you didn't realise you were holding. "they only found out this morning, when i told them i couldn't come to the studio today because of a boyfriend emergency. and don't worry, matty," you say, as you see your friend begin to open his mouth. "the album's done. completely. the label overestimated how long i'd need to make it perfect. we were just going in for free tea and biscuits today, to be honest."

ross chuckles, squeezing you even tighter to him, while the room erupts into laughter behind you. matty rolls his eyes, but smiles. "you're so chill it's unbelievable. christ, the two of you are perfect for each other. i can't believe i never realised that."

"matty, shouldn't they start an onlyfans?" charli shouts, around you. adam collapses into giggles, phone nearly falling from his hand - luckily, polly (also laughing) catches it before it hits the ground.

ross winces. "are you still going on about that?"

matty follows suit. "for fuck's sake, charli. no! christ," he shudders, while charli sighs in despair. "you do look hot together, though. really hot. any kids you have would be- oh my god, you need to have kids. please? just one? imagine how musical they'd be!"

charli cackles, grabbing your arm. "babe! didn't i say he'd say tha-"

"right, i think we should all shut up now, and get on with the day, yeah?" george says, deep voice taking on an authoritative tone that ross is secretly thankful for. "soundcheck, let's go."

your boyfriend pecks your lips and puts you back on the ground, as everyone begins to wrap up their activities and head to stage. before a mass exodus from the green room begins, matty puts a hand on your arm and speaks. "i've just got one more thing to say."

"did you just quote your own song?"

"shut up, i didn't mean it," he blushes, while ross snorts. "wanted to ask you something about the show tonight."

"right."

"would you come on and sing with us? you can say no, obvs, but you know how much i love your voice. i'd be really honoured if you agreed."

your friend's quiet earnestness is touching. although it's an unexpected request - you know the boys haven't been involving guests on this tour like they did previously - it's not an unwelcome one. and judging by the way ross hugs your waist tighter and smiles into your shoulder, you think he likes the sound of sharing a stage with you for the first time too. you grin at matty. "about you?"

matty nods. "polly's soloing jesus christ 2005 tonight anyway. prime opportunity for you to have a moment of your own."

"she's soloing- fuck, i'm going to cry," you bring a hand to your chest, and polly laughs and blows you a kiss. "alright. i'll do it."

the boys on either side of you hug you in excitement, and your heart glows. but you're not finished. "if…"

"yeah?"

you turn to your boyfriend. "if i can wear one of your scotland tops while i do."

matty laughs, while ross leans down to kiss you. "course you can, love," he murmurs against your lips. "i'd like that a lot, actually."

"so it's settled, then. i'll sing," you peck ross again, and drag him and matty towards the door. "let's go and practice now, so i don't show you all up."

***

as it turns out, if you angle yourself just so behind the house set onstage, you get a pretty good view of ross through the sheer curtain on the window. mic in hand and ready to go, you sway softly on your high heels as the outro to me begins, keeping to the side so you're not blocking matty's route down from the roof to the front door.

the song ends, and you tap your free hand on the opposite wrist in a sort-of clap as the audience applauds; you pair it with a smile towards your friend as he comes into view, and a laugh as he bows dramatically.

matty pulls you into a half-hug. "i'm excited. you feeling alright?"

"yeah, i'm good," you squeeze his (tiny, really tiny) waist. "actually, i meant to ask earlier… can we stand near ross for the outro?"

your friend smiles, the significance of the action not lost on him. "course we can," he looks up as the familiar music begins. "see you out there, bestie."

with a wink, he opens the door - leaving it ajar for you - and you're alone again. you do your usual pre-show routine, tugging at your skirt so it sits right and fixing your hair a final time, and just wait for the end of the first chorus. ducking under the window to keep your presence a surprise to the crowd as long as possible, you get into position, and step across the threshold onto the stage when matty and polly (doing the backing vocals at the start to throw everyone off the scent of your big reveal) sing the title of the song.

the roar from the crowd when you step out - and presumably, when your face and name appear on the screens - is so loud you can feel it through the stage, so loud that you can't help but grin at the sea of faces as you walk onstage. john playfully nudges you with his shoulder as you pass him, and you make a point of waving at the two g's on drums when you walk by, singing.

when you get to the internal door, though, you can't help but milk the moment a little; you take your time walking through, looking and smiling at the light in wonder, winking at jamie and polly giggling at you. matty's waiting to lead you down the stairs - not for the bit, but for practicality, given your heels - and you have a little group hug with him and adam when you reach the lower level. it's sweet. it's fun. it's comfortable, even though you're performing without your band for the first time in front of thousands of people, who may or may not like you, or even know who you are.

through it all, though, you can't stop yourself looking to stage left, to your smiling boyfriend, the love in his eyes evident even from where you're standing. during the second chorus, you walk to ross, tiptoeing to rest your head on his shoulder from behind him, exactly the same way you do while he makes dinner for the two of you in your flat. he seems to be thinking about that, too; almost on instinct, he turns to kiss your temple, a feather-light brush of lips and skin that nevertheless sends sparks shooting through your body. 

the crowd puts two (that kiss) and two (your - his - top) together, and goes insane. they have the good grace to lower the screaming somewhat during your solo, which you sing centre-stage, matty's arm around your shoulders and yours on his, and then they dial it back up to eleven when you both wander back over to your boyfriend. you know you're looking at ross lovingly, dreamily, adoringly, but you can't hide it.

you don't want to, anyway. he's yours, you're his, and you don't give a fuck who knows or doesn't.

clearly, ross feels the same. after matty urges you to take a bow during the outro (and urges the audience to "please give it up for my honorary little sister"), then hugs you with a "thank you, darling" before running off to make it to the b-stage, your boyfriend rests his head on top of yours as he finishes playing. it's such a tender action, and for a brief second you forget you're onstage, not sat in your living room writing new stuff together and larking about on your instruments. but then the crowd starts up the applause again, and you remember. as ross hands his bass to joel, you take another bow, waving at the excited faces before ross takes your hand and leads you offstage.

his arms are wrapped around you before you've even fully opened your mouth to talk; you close it, and your eyes, and just breathe in the moment (and the home-y scent of ross's aftershave). ross speaks first, anyway, hand on the back of your head stroking your hair. "i am so proud of you."

"oh, stop it, i do it all the time," you laugh. "but i'm proud of you, too. i love watching you play. it was lovely to get the chance to see it up close."

"i love you," ross leans back so he can look at you as he says it, punctuating the end of his sentence with a soft kiss. "thank you. for coming up here, and for doing that. it was a lot of fun - i know we all thought so."

"i love you, too. so much. and these muppets you call bandmates - they're a pretty good bunch."

"they're irritating me now, though."

"why, baby?"

ross smiles, a very honest lifting of cheeks and curling of lips. "just haven't gotten you all to myself today, s'all. they've always been around."

it's not necessarily a suggestive statement, but there's an underlying hint of something in ross's words; you try to respond with an equally ambiguous statement. "well," you begin, thumb stroking your boyfriend's cheek. "all you need to do is finish the show, and then we can hide out in your hotel room, completely uninterrupted, for like twelve hours. sound good?"

"sounds amazing, love," ross sighs, kissing you again. "i really have missed you. don't really want to let you go and go back onstage, to be honest."

"i'll be right here cheering you on the whole time. screaming your name and everything."

"oh, i like the sound of that."

"cheeky."

masterlist

in chronological order within their au

the birthday party series (matty x reader)

all i want for christmas - fluffy, pre-dating, part of christmas75 2023

the birthday party - fluffy

the birthday (after)party - fluffy, smutty

pregnancy scare [blurb] - fluffy

queen of hearts - fluffy, part of valentine's week 2024

bday girl [drabble fic] - fluffy, suggested smut, part of The Birthday Party Project

costumes - smutty (quite!), fluffy, part of promptober75 2023

it's only been a year - fluffy

all those dreams where you're my wife - fluffy

scary movies - fluffy, suggested smut, part of promptober75 2023

you would cook, i'd do the nappies - smutty, fluffy

hot chocolate - fluffy, one mention of smut, established family, part of promptober75 2023

halloween - fluffy, established family, part of promptober75 2023

instagram au

flatmate!matty x reader

lore blurb: condom-gate (smut, fluff)

falling for you - fluffy, a teensy bit angsty, pre-relationship and pre-flatmates part of promptober75 2023

i'll do anything that you wanna - fluffy, pre-relationship

and this is how it starts - smutty, fluffy, in-relationship (day 1 of being together!!)

bonfires - fluffy, mentions of smut, in-relationship, part of promptober75 2023

promises to keep - fluffy, in relationship, part of valentine's week 2024

bday boy [drabble fic] - fluffy, suggested smut, in-relationship, part of The Birthday Party Project

snowed in - fluffy, suggested smut, part of christmas75 2023

dad!matty x reader (continuation of flatmate!universe, but can be read separately)

i'd rather jump in your bones - smutty, fluffy, parents-to-be

when i found you, much younger than you are now [drabble fic] - fluffy, includes a flatmate!matty section, ten years of self-titled focus

autumn mornings - smutty, fluffy, part of promptober75 2023

birthday surprise - fluffy, part of matty35/the birthday party project 2024

d word [daddy] matty x reader

lore blurb: introduction of d word (smut, fluff, weed lol)

meet cute - fluffy, pre-relationship, part of promptober75 2023

birthday wish - fluffy, pre-relationship, part of matty35/the birthday party project 2024

keep dreaming - smutty, solo matty, pre-relationship

home for christmas - fluffy, pre-relationship, part of christmas75 2023

candlelight - smutty (extremely it's their first time fucking), established relationship, part of promptober75 2023

i've been dying to meet you [drabble fic] - fluffy, established relationship

stupid cupid - fluffy, mentions of smut, established relationship, part of valentine's week 2024

drunk in love - smutty, fluffy

gone four weeks [drabble fic] / part 2 / part 3 - angsty, non-canon

totally wrecked - smutty (like honestly filthy), established relationship

on the bed in my room - smutty (filthy. the filthiest thing on here, actually), slightly fluffy, established relationship

you're the only thing that's going on in my mind - smutty (so smutty), mean dom matty, established relationship, pregnant reader

in front of a mirror - fluffy, established relationship, established family, part of promptober75 2023

politician matty x reader

and america likes me - smutty (quite!), established relationship

office nerd matty x reader

the if you're too shy series - part 1 (fluffy), part 2 (fluffy), part 3 (smutty, fluffy)

birthday sleepover - smutty, fluffy, part of matty35/the birthday party project 2024

matty x reader

sneaking out - smutty, slightly angsty, fwb reunion, part of promptober75 2023

dad!ross x reader

happiness - fluffy

black cat - fluffy, part of promptober75 2023

secret admirer - fluffy, part of valentine's week 2024

ross x shy gf!reader

elope with me - fluffy, part of promptober75 2023

dearly beloved - fluffy, part of valentine's week 2024

ross x girlband gf!reader

sweet touches - fluffy, ever so slightly angsty, part of promptober75 2023

my whole life, waiting for you / part 2 - angsty, fluffy

lovers' quarrel - angsty, fluffy ending, part of valentine's week 2024

sweetheart!george x reader (end of high school au)

stress relief - fluffy, in-relationship, part of promptober75 2023

love potion - fluffy, suggested smut, part of valentine's week 2024

george x reader

dancing like she way out - smutty

lovers' quarrel (ross x girlband gf!reader angst)

day 5 of valentine's week. schedule clashes are getting to you. enjoy <3

you haven't spoken to your boyfriend in a week.

you're sleeping in the same bed as him, yeah, but ross is always asleep when you let yourself into his house at 11pm, body aching after a 12-hour day of dance rehearsals and video shoots and last-minute touch-ups to the instrumentals and harmonies and mixing on your band's new album. and you're always asleep when he leaves at 8am to drive to the studio to finish recording the new 75 LP (scheduled for release a month after yours), a kiss to your sleep-messy hair the only real bit of physical contact he gets to give you.

even your phone calls during studio breaks keep missing each other; you only hear your boyfriend's voice filtered through crackly phone lines, an obvious reminder that you're apart. in fact, the closest you've felt to ross in about eight days is when you use his body wash, in the freezing shower you take to soothe your screaming leg muscles before you get into bed with him.

you hate this. you miss him, so much.

ross misses you, too - he tells you at the end of every voicemail he leaves, paired with a “love you”, in such a defeated tone it brings tears to your eyes. you call him back, leave a similar message of your own, and go back into the rehearsal room and dance your heart out, as if it isn't breaking more with every passing second. 

is this what life is always going to be like for the two of you, a loving relationship reduced to fleeting moments of getting to spend time with each other in between tours and shows and recording sessions and writing and promo? you're not sure how long you could take it, if it is.

but you love ross. so fucking much. surely you can do something to make it better for both of you.

the question is… what?

you're mulling over that on your lunch break, sat alone outside the studio complex with your tofu bowl and lucozade, thinking about how thursdays have always been the worst day of the week (double maths back in the day, and now the final full day of work left before you can actually maybe talk to your man for once), when the answer appears through the summer drizzle. well, actually, it's gabbriette who appears, dashing over to you from her (matty's) car and screeching as the rain hits her hair.

you laugh, standing and letting her barrel into your arms. “hi, wifey.”

“baby girl!” she kisses your nose. “you look gorgeous.”

“gabs, i've been dancing for three hours straight. i look like shit.”

“but hot shit. like, super sexy shit,” she grins. “how's everything going? do i get a sneak peek of the new video?”

you smirk. “depends. did matty send you down here to spy on us?”

gabbriette laughs. “he's too stressed to even think of suggesting anything that smart. no, actually, i'm just here to see how you're doing,” her beautiful face shifts into a more serious expression. “because when i asked your boyfriend how you were, literally thirty minutes ago, he very cryptically said he didn't know.”

“ah.”

“he did then explain that you guys hadn't broken up, but it scared me,” she squeezes your hand. “you okay? like, i know you're both so busy - george is literally pushing the guys to the limit in the studio right now - but…”

you sigh. “yeah, we’re just so busy that we keep missing each other, that's all - i get home when he's sleeping, he leaves before i wake up, and we're never free to call at the same time. like, i didn't even know that thing you just said about george, because we haven't talked for days,” you slide down the wall to sit, and gabbriette follows. you sniffle. “he sleeps right beside me, but i miss him like he's continents away. and i hate it, gabs, i really hate it.”

“oh, baby,” she puts her arm around you and kisses your head. “it'll get better soon, though, won't it? you finish here tomorrow afternoon, right?”

“yeah, but,” you wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie. “then the boys get to this manic stage i'm in now, then i have to do promo, and they have to do promo, and i just don't know when it'll end.”

“i know the feeling,” gabbriette sighs. “it's not easy, us being us, loving the people we do. but that's the way it is, i guess. we just gotta,” she half-heartedly punches the air. “push through it.”

“mmm,” you take a drink of your juice. “what i wouldn't give to just have dinner with him, you know? go somewhere nice for a night, and think about nothing but the two of us.”

your friend turns to face you. “so, why don't you? make a reservation for tomorrow night. surprise him when he gets home. clichè, but,” she winks. “i'm sure ross won't complain about coming home to you all dressed up and gorgeous. i know i wouldn't.”

you burst out laughing. “you're gonna lose your shit when we go inside and you get to see my album cover outfit, babe.”

“oh my god,” she presses her face into your shoulder, then sits up with a smile. “but seriously. i know you're exhausted, and so is he, but plan a date, have fun, make it a regular thing. you guys are perfect together; don’t let that slip away.”

“alright. thank you for the support,” you hug her. “i love you.”

“i love you, angel girl,” gabbriette pulls back and kisses your nose again, before standing and helping you up. “now, i am dying to see what you and the girls have been cooking up. shall we?”

you link your arm through hers. “let's go.”

***

when you hear the key in the lock, you brush down your dress a final time and hurry into the hallway. your heart skips at the sight of ross - clearly exhausted - stepping through the door; you can't keep the smile from your face, and one appears on his after he kicks his shoes off and turns towards you.

he exhales. “god, you're a sight for sore eyes. hi, love,” his arms open, and you run into them and allow yourself to be wrapped up in your boyfriend. “missed you this week.”

“missed you, too,” you nuzzle into his neck. “how are you, darling?”

“perfect, now that i've got you in my arms,” his smile is audible. “not letting you out of them for a second, by the way. need to catch up on holding my girl.”

you giggle. “what about dinner?”

“i can eat pizza with you on my lap on the sofa, can't i?”

oh. your heart feels slightly heavier than it did a second ago. “that's… what you want to do for dinner?”

you do your best to keep your voice light, but ross doesn't miss a trick. he pulls back, frowning slightly. “yeah. something calm, after us both being so busy this week,” he seems to notice your dress for the first time, brow furrowing even further when he takes in your polished appearance. “but that's not what you want, is it?”

“well, baby,” you let go of him, wringing your hands nervously. “i’ve, um, made a reservation at that place you like down the street. for tonight.”

ross pinches the bridge of his nose. “why would you do that, sweetheart?”

your jaw falls open. what? “oh, i just thought it might be nice to go out. save us doing the washing up,” the joke falls flat, but you clear your throat and continue. “and, you know, i’m home now, not coming in exhausted at midnight or whatever, for once, and i-”

“oh, okay,” ross laughs mirthlessly, and your blood runs cold. “just because you're not tired, i should forget my own tiredness and force myself to go out for an overpriced meal i don't even want to eat right now? just because?”

you don't think you've ever felt smaller in your life, and your voice shows it. “no, i just thought-”

“exactly. you just thought, about yourself, not me,” ross hangs up his jacket, shaking his head. “i mean, really, love? you of all people know what it's like, burning yourself out in the studio every day. is it really so surprising that i wanted to come home, to my own house, and just spend the night there?”

something inside you just snaps, and your next words shoot from your lips like bullets. “no, i fucking know the feeling, ross,” you glare at him when he turns to look at you, slight shock on his face at your sudden aggression. “66 hours i've worked, this week, across five days, and at the end of every single one of them i've wanted nothing more than to go straight home to my flat and collapse onto my bed. but d'you know what i've done instead?” you laugh, manic. “i've driven here and stayed with you, because i thought that even if we couldn't spend time together properly, at least we were with each other in some way. and you can't even be nice about the fact i wanted to do something special for us tonight. because, yeah, i was thinking about us when i did it.”

ross looks at you for a second, then shrugs. “well, i didn't ask you to do any of it.”

you nod, biting your trembling lip. “right,” you squeeze past him, picking up your handbag from the console table. tears prick at your eyes as you open the front door. “enjoy your fucking pizza, then.”

a sob escapes your lips as the door slams behind you, tears hitting off the steps as you hurry down them towards your car. with shaking hands, you rifle through your bag to find your keys, unlocking the door and climbing inside so you can cry in peace and figure out where to go. you half-expect ross to follow you, knock on the window, apologise… but nothing. the front door stays closed. even the blinds in the front room don’t move.

you're tempted to wait to see how long it would take him to come after you. but it's not a great look for you to be sitting outside his house in tears, and - to be honest - you don't really want to see him right now, anyway. you need to go somewhere. not your flat, because that's the first place he'd look for you - if he even decides to bother, that is. no. you need to go somewhere else, be with other people, people who love you. but not your bandmates, because that would be ross's next point of call.

and then, it hits you - gabbriette. you scroll through your contacts until you find her number, and hit call; what you don't expect, however, is for her boyfriend to answer. “hi, darling!”

“oh, hi, matty,” you sniffle. “did i dial you? i thought i'd called gabs.”

“no, you did, she just got me to answer because she’s making dinner,” he replies, his girlfriend audibly yelling in greeting in the background. “speaking of dinner… i thought you and ross were meant to be out right now? everything alright?”

you don't say anything in response, just burst into tears down the phone. matty sighs. “oh, fuck. come over, darling. i'll open the wine now.”

“thank you,” you say between sobs. “i'll see you in a bit.”

when you get to his house twenty minutes later, you reckon the two of them must have been standing at the door waiting for you; as soon as you ring the bell, it opens, and you're enveloped into a group hug so tight you can't tell who's who.

matty kisses your head when the hug ends. “just wanna say,” he begins, passing you a ridiculously large glass of red wine. “that while ross is my best friend, he will hear nothing of what's about to be said tonight. so… yeah. rip him to shreds.”

“oh, i intend to,” gabbriette squeezes your hand. “he came home to you looking like that and he didn't wanna go out with you? stupid boy.”

you wince. “gabs…”

“sorry, sorry. but i'm right,” she turns to matty. “don’t you think, baby?”

he nods. “he's an idiot,” something beeps in the kitchen, and gabbriette squeaks and runs towards it. matty puts an arm around you. “come on. we'll have a seat, and you can tell us everything.”

“okay.”

and you do just that, settled next to matty on the kitchen counter so gabs can hear and react while she cooks; you aren't quite sure you'd be able to make it through reliving the argument without the plates of focaccia she keeps laying on your lap, to be honest. anyway - both of them react quite accordingly to your story, dropped jaws and wide eyes and utterances of “he said that?” punctuating your words.

matty shakes his head when you finish talking, putting a hand on top of yours in a brotherly way. “i'm sorry, darling. he can be a moody bastard at times, i know, but that's… that's awful.”

“i get that he's tired and he didn't want to go out,” you sigh, taking a drink of your wine. “but he didn't need to make me feel like a stupid bitch for suggesting it,” you well up again. “and now i don't know where i am with him.”

“oh, baby,” gabbriette runs over to kiss your hair and hug you. “listen, you'll stay here tonight - we'll have a good time, talk shit, have some wine, and then we can figure your love life out tomorrow. cool?”

you look between the two of them, nervous. “i don't want to intrude…”

“oi, none of that,” matty squeezes your hand. “what kind of brother would i be if i didn't take of my little sister?”

“love you, mate,” you hug him, then turn to gabs. “both of you.”

“and we love you,” she kisses your cheek. “me more than him. seriously, i love you so much.”

matty laughs. “she’s right, actually,” he says to you. “came home raving about the sneak peek of the album she got yesterday,” he looks at you pointedly.

you roll your eyes. “fine, i'll tell you about it.”

“fuck yeah!”

you're still telling them all about the album and its processes when ross makes contact, almost two hours after you left his house. matty's phone rings, the contact photo (an old selfie of the two boys) visible to all three of you; the atmosphere changes from buzzy to sombre when you see it.

matty looks at you. “i don't have to answer it if you don't want me to.”

you look at the buzzing phone, the picture of your boyfriend on the screen filling you with a weird mix of emotion. “no, it's ok.”

“you sure?”

you nod. “if he asks where i am, you can tell him,” you murmur, looking at the floor. “i don't want him to worry.”

“right, darling,” matty takes your hand, and picks up his phone with the other. “alright, mate?”

gabbriette hugs you as ross speaks, inaudible to you; you're thankful for her support, because your stomach's in knots waiting for matty to reply. his eyes flick to yours, nervous. “yeah, she’s here,” he says, squeezing your hand. “she’s alright now, but… she really wasn't when she first arrived. surprised she managed to drive here, to be honest - that's how upset she was.”

you chew your bottom lip as ross says something else. matty quirks his eyebrows. “depends if your girlfriend wants to see you or not, mate.”

gabbriette squeezes you tighter. you shrug, and mouth “need to get it over with anyway”; matty grimaces, and relays the message to your boyfriend. “she's not opposed. but,” he shifts in his seat. “don't expect a warm welcome. that includes from me, too - it's none of my business, and i love you, but seeing my friend cry like that was fucking heartbreaking. i can't believe you could be so cruel.”

god, you love your friends.

you smile as matty wraps up the call. “yeah, i can imagine you feel awful about it; i'd be worried if you weren't. and yeah, i'll tell her, alright?” he gives you a thumbs up. “see you soon.”

“he's on his way?” you ask once the call ends.

“he went to yours. freaked out when you weren't there. so, he'll be here in five,” matty looks at you tentatively. “and i've to tell you he's extremely sorry and also that he loves you more than anything and finally that he’s a cunt for what he said.”

“i coulda fuckin told you that last bit,” gabbriette mutters. she smiles at you, though. “but the other bits are, you know, promising.”

“yeah,” you murmur. “shall we go and wait for him, then?”

she kisses your cheek. “if that's what you want, sure.”

true to his word, ross knocks the door five minutes later; you sit on the stairs in the hallway, gabs in front of you protectively (at her insistence), while matty answers. “hi.”

“alright?” ross's face isn’t properly visible from the angle you're at, but you can hear from the scratchiness of his voice that he's been crying. it hurts you to think about that. “can i come in?”

matty nods, stepping back to let him in. ross follows, an awkward dance, and immediately sees you. his face crumples. “hi, love.”

you wave. you're not sure if you can speak.

ross looks at gabs. “can i, um, talk to my girlfriend alone for a second?”

she turns to you. “you cool with that?”

you nod. she kisses your cheek and stands, staring ross down as she walks over to matty and they leave the room. once they've gone, ross flinches. “has she always been so scary?”

“you would be exactly the same way if she hurt matty,” your voice is hoarse, your crying just as obvious as your boyfriend's.

“yeah, s'pose,” ross takes a tentative few steps towards you, gesturing towards the stairs. “can i sit?”

“mhmm.”

“thanks,” he takes a seat on a step a few down from you, turning so he can talk to you properly. “i'm sorry, love, i really am. and i don't really have an excuse for being such a dickhead, other than tiredness, which isn't even an excuse because you've been more exhausted than i am and you still made the effort to do something nice for both of us,” he takes a shaky breath. “you look beautiful, by the way, even now; slightly off-topic, i know, but i just had to say it.”

“thanks,” you say quietly, picking at your cuticles. “thought you'd like this dress.”

“i love it,” ross smiles sadly. “i love you. and the fact that i hurt you… i feel fucking terrible about it,” his lip trembles. “i love you more than anything, or anyone, and i don't want to lose you. the thought of it fucking terrifies me, and,” he begins to cry, and your heart aches. “i worry that i'm not enough for you. i worry that i don't do enough for you, take you out enough. i worry that you'll get bored of me, bored of making all the effort, bored of sitting at home watching football or films, and one day you'll just leave me.”

what?

“oh, ross,” your heart shatters, and you scooch down to sit next to him and hug him.

“m'sorry, i know i'm the one in the wrong, but i have to be honest,” he cries into you. “when you said you wanted to go out instead of stay in, i freaked that i was boring you. and then when you brought up staying at mine instead of yours…”

“you thought it was me saying i was fed up.”

“yeah.”

“oh, baby,” you start to cry, too. “no. it was me just being pissed about you trying to say i didn't know the feeling of wanting to go home when you're tired. i didn't mean it in any other way, honest.”

“no, i know, my love. i was just scared.”

“why, though?” you look him in the eye. “you're the love of my life, ross. you're more than enough for me - everything i need, and more.”

he sniffles. “did you mean to quote beyoncé there, or…?”

“well, no, but it was apt,” you giggle, stroking his dimples when he smiles. “look, i was hurt by the way you reacted to me - an ‘oh, that's nice, love, but could we go out tomorrow night instead?’ wouldn't have gone amiss. but,” you kiss his nose. “i accept your apology, and i love you and our relationship very much, just as they are. just don't ever fucking treat me like that again, alright?”

“i promise you i won't, love,” ross kisses your nose in return. “i love you. and i'm sorry i was a grumpy shit about dinner, because i'm fucking starving now.”

you laugh, kissing his neck. “i reckon gabs has got us covered there. but if not,” you grin. “we can always get a pizza.”

“you're never letting me live that one down, are you?”

“not a fucking chance.”

i cannot stop thinking about ross and girlys height difference. it’s plagued my mind i fear. like his hands being so much bigger than hers (them comparing hand sizes in a sort of flirty way pre-dating and both losing their mind!!). his clothes being really oversized on her etc etc. (and of course size kink definitely comes into it, i go feral every time)

arguably this would work for any ross universe but i have girlband gf on the noggin rn so we're doing that. genuinely the first time you guys ever met, there was hand size comparison - i see it as being at some music industry dinner thing, kinda along the lines of the lunches actors go to if they get nominated for oscars or baftas, and you and ross end up sat next to/opposite each other and get chatting. he asks you who played bass on your band's newest single, and you blush profusely and say "i did, but it was a struggle lol look at how tiny my hands are"; ross's eyes go wide when you lift your hand up, and he tentatively presses his own against it like "christ, you're not kidding. could fit both of your hands in one of mine!", and your brain short-circuits because oh my fucking god look at the size of his hands!! so does ross's, and it only gets worse when you both get roped into taking a pic and you have to stand up; you're wearing heels and he STILL towers over you, and quite frankly you're fucking obsessed with it (and him. and so enamoured by how handsome and funny and sweet he is! god. you're so fucked). he actually uses the disparity between your hands as a means of ensuring you don't lose contact - before he leaves, he writes his number on your arm ("your hand's too small for me to put it there, love") and says "phone me if you need someone to play bass on a song. just so you don't strain your tiny hands trying to do it yourself, yeah?". you're like jesus christ YES and say "will do, darling. but also... i can't fit my hand around a pint glass, either. can i call you if i want a drink, and you'll help me out with that too?", and ross blushes before smirking like "anytime you want, of course". in terms of height difference... you both run the risk of developing back problems trying to kiss the other while standing, but that's easily solved by ross just picking you up to make out with you, or laying you down and doing it; that's your fave, because it almost always ends up in sex (which, like you said, is made all the more fun by how much bigger and stronger ross is than you. he's lifting you and manoeuvring you like you're a little doll, and it's the best. princess treatment in the dirtiest way!!). and then afterwards, you get to steal his clothes, and just allow yourself to be enveloped in both the fabric and the comforting smell of your boyfriend from his shirts and t shirts and hoodies - in fairness, though, you don't reserve that for post-sex, you have literally gone out wearing one of ross's tops as a dress, and needless to say he loved every second. yeah, i love this <3