#get BOTH of them therapy actually
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for @cassthecringe's Walk With Me/Try Again my absolute favourite fic!!!! also the design for later kakyoin is very inspired by the one @jei-rifni used in their fanart for wwm/ta like here!
im just so ouaruhggho about this fic and i love it and the author to bits and i absolutely cannot express in words how i feel about this fic and how giddy i get seeing replies from the author in comments-- so heres a lil tribute about a small aspect abt the fic that haunts me!!
#they make me so ill!!#jotaro really said try not to cry challenge for the entire fic#difficulty extremely hard!!#get this man therapy#get BOTH of them therapy actually#don't go to therapy streak of 10 years (minimum)#jjba#jotakak#noritaro#wwm/ta#walk with me/try again#jotaro kujo#jjba jotaro#kakyoin#noriaki kakyoin#jjba part 3#i was speedrunning this bad boy for the past few days
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Just something I had to put on YouTube and now all of you will see it here too lmao.
#alien stage#alien stage ivan#alien stage till#alien stage round 6#alien stage round 6 spoilers#I am not ok and my little theory for them becomes more and more relevent the closer we get to knowing more of these goddamn characters#I COULD BE COMPLETELY WRONG#BUT BOTH MIZI AND IVAN are making STATEMENTS (weather intentional or NOT) in this competition and its TELLING#Wr already saw before that their are actual protests with this competition in the first place and mizi and ivans postions are just#PROVING THEIR POINTS AND SHOWING HOW HORRIFYING THIS SHOW IS#It just SAYS something and then turn in for it to be that they are both alien and human????? OH BOY#Yeah#Maybe Im trying my copium to ivan still being alive with this theory but#CAN YOU BLAME ME???#Goddammit Vivinos when I caught you when I caught you vivinos#Pay for my goddamn THERAPY for this shit *sobs*
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I love umlrbee. also kobd movie date but breakdown is so tiny
#the new earthspark episodes have me conniving about star and bee#they could fight so much while hashtag is like bruh both y’all need therapy#but then they actually really care about eachother through the power of family#also I just think it’s funny when bee tells star to stfu#like someone had to say it#besties who get war ptsd together slay together#also I love kobd idk how to draw KO but I love them#they deserve all the drive in theater dates#bumblebee#transformers bumblebee#tfe bumblebee#earthspark bumblebee#tf earthspark#transformers#earthspark#tfe#maccdam#hanaes scrapheap
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yakou furio's character is so tragic to me. i wanna meme about how they used the fridged wife trope but other than that it's like. he lost his family and later all of his coworkers and just. existed alone for years.
looking at the state the submarine and especially his bedroom was in, with everything being a mess and all the cigarette butts in his bed, yakou was clearly depressed. he wouldn't even take on any interesting cases to fulfill his passion as a detective because he was so afraid of the peacekeepers. instead he just kept his head down. surviving but not actually living.
and then he finally gets some new detectives to work at his agency and the first thing he can do is fail to save most of them from dying horribly. but the five that yakou did manage to save latch onto him and he starts getting into a leader role! even if his new coworkers are all rowdy and get into trouble they still respect him as a leader and look up to him.
the detectives keep picking fights with the peacekeepers that yakou has been trying so hard to dodge. and usually the resolution is kind of messed up because the victims die but the detectives prove themselves capable of handling the peacekeepers! they're helping people! for the first time in a while, yakou comes toe to toe with peacekeepers willingly, to help his new friends. he realizes that he is able to stand up against amaterasu corp, with the help of the others.
but by the time he realizes this, the stage has already been set. the letter from yomi turned his grief into anger and a thirst for vengeance. although yomi gave him the information and opportunity, yakou was ultimately the one who chose to murder the man who murdered his wife.
yakou has already rebuilt his life after his wife's death. the detectives at his agency look up to him and he would do anything for them. it would never be the same as the life he had with his wife but yakou had the chance to turn over a new leaf with a new found family who cares about him.
but instead, yakou plans a murder. he needs to die, over and over, in order to access the man he wants to kill and he accepts it. he needs to trick two kids, who look up to him and who he cares for, into becoming his accomplices to the murder and he accepts it. in the wake of forcing his detectives to witness his murder, he needs leave them in a lab filled with peacekeepers who want to kill them and he accepts it.
and it's not that he doesn't care about his detectives. yuma and halara disobeyed his orders and assaulted several peacekeepers, and he was willing to be arrested himself before throwing his employees under the bus. yuma and fubuki were implicated in terrorism and yakou and the others solve the case for them, then prepare to fight an army of peacekeepers to protect yuma.
for his murder plan, yakou only needs desuhiko and fubuki's powers. but he brings halara and vivia along as well because they would be able to protect the two younger detectives and fight their way out of the lab after yakou dies. he enacts his plan on a day that yuma wasn't around because he won't be able to help fight peacekeepers, so it's better to just keep him out of this mess. he covers up his murder-suicide to protect his detective's feelings, but also because they would be implicated as his accomplices if his plan was revealed.
and yakou probably expected that the other detectives would be fine. if they'd left him behind to die, the other detectives probably would have been able to either fight their way out or hide out in the lab a bit longer and figured out a good plan to escape. if yakou had his way, he would have gotten his revenge and his detectives would have gone home grief-stricken, but unharmed and forever unaware of their roles in his death.
but yakou doesn't account for the fact that the other detectives would try to save his life. yuma doesn't run after the hitman and escape the peacekeepers, he stays behind to beg yomi to help yakou. fubuki uses up all her energy to rewind time to try to prevent yakou's death instead of helping the others escape the lab. halara, vivia, and desuhiko not only have to fight off peacekeepers, but they also have to carry yakou to a hiding spot to give first aid. and instead of calmly planning their next move, everyone is desperate to solve the case so there would be any chance of getting yakou to a hospital as quickly as possible.
one major theme of rain code is that despite tragedies that may have happened in the past, people can work together with those they care about to live a better life in the future. and yakou could have had that. his wife's death should have stayed in the past, and he should have continued to mentor the other detectives, solving mysteries together and enjoying each other's companies.
but yakou couldn't let the past stay in the past. he had every chance to not go through with his murder. he has new people he loves, but he manipulates them and puts them in danger in order to get back at the person who killed the last person he loved. his victory was a pyrrhic one. he got his revenge but in return, he destroyed himself and his detectives' trust in him. he enjoyed his revenge momentarily before dying and leaving his new family, who he used their love and trust for him to his advantage, to pick up the pieces.
yakou furio had lost everything in the past. but in trying to pursue it he destroyed everything he had in the present. that's the tragedy of his character to me.
#shut up pandora#rain code#master detective archives: rain code#yakou furio#character analysis#yakou is one of my favorite characters btw#hes a good person at his core though he fucked up#but also you dont have to be a good person to be a really good character which i think he is#this is @ ppl in youtube comments slamming on yakou for being stupid in chapter 4 btw#like thats the point#thats whats good about his character#would you have preferred if he were JUST a fun dad who gets fridged#thats fucking boring#we do nuance in this household and by household i mean my personal blog#but also what he did was pretty fucked up especially for the kids that he actually got involved#vivia was screaming crying throwing up bc it was a vivia chapter but i wanna see what fubuki's reaction was to the whole thing#bc man is she never gonna want to use her forte again#tragic anime dilfs will scar their kids for life in an elaborate and painful murder suicide instead of going to therapy#i like to acknowledge both sides of characters in general#but yeah while yakou was a really good mentor for the others at the agency and definitely loved them all very much#he put his want for revenge over his love for his found family#and died before he could reconcile to said found family about it
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#tohru adachi#adachi tohru#yashiro gaku#yashisato#adajima#douada#fujinuma satoru#ryotaro dojima#my friend thinks adachi is really funny and i think yashiro is really funny#the dynamic is that they met in group therapy (neither of them want to be there)#and adachi thinks yashiro is fucking hilarious (until he hears yashiro's personal philosophies#& then hes like actually fuck this guy)#& yashiro is just like 'satoru wanted me to get a friend :/ so i guess you are the most normal person here'#theyre both like 'wow this guys a freak good thing im normal'
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x
[image description: 5 gifs of evan buckley and eddie diaz from various episodes of 9-1-1.
gif 1: from season 4 episode 14. in the kitchen of the firehouse, bobby (offscreen) says, "buck, what happened to eddie was not your fault." Upset, Buck responds, "No. No, I was just the guy standing there when it happened who couldn't do anything to protect him."
gif 2: from season 5 episode 14. in the loft of the firehouse, buck reassures lucy, "that lady...she didn't die, cause you caught her."
gif 3: from season 4 episode 13. from under the fire truck, buck screams as he pulls eddie towards himself. his face is bloody. the gif is colored black and white.
gif 4: from season 5 episode 14. offscreen, lucy says, "so accept it was a lucky break and move on?" buck responds, "look, your luck could change tomorrow, so we take the wins when we can get 'em."
gif 5: from season 5 episode 14. buck looks up and smiles at eddie as eddie walks into the dining room and pulls out a chair for himself.
/end ID]
#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 on fox#911 fox#9-1-1#911edit#alicia edits#if this makes no sense it's just out of my hands at this point#like idk. it's really interesting to think about buck's journey in the context of eddie's and lucy's in this episode#bc like the both of them he also has to accept that he did everything he could do#and that fixating on how he could have done things differently won't change anything#but while they are feeling somewhat hopeless and struggling to see what the point of it all is#buck is oddly - for the first time in a while actually - incredibly optimistic and at this place where he is able to take the wins#and Honestly i think so much of it has to do with the fact that he feels he can finally help eddie#instead of feeling unsure and helpless as he watched eddie struggle alone like he had for all these months before#because yeah. maybe at some point he felt that it should've been him to get shot#but eddie is still *here*#and that's more important than any guilt or fixation on what else he could've done#eddie is still here. how can that not be a win#so buck will be too. he'll be there smiling at eddie as he comes home from his therapy appointment#and taking eddie and chris to equine therapy and helping eddie see that it's not all for naught#he'll be there for everything and all of it - the good and the ugly - is still a win in his eyes
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az for the character bingo. your relationship w him fascinates me
Put gently, i need him dead, but he IS like the most interestingly weird person in the IC likely.
#like him and rhys are neck and neck#i can graph his parental issues directly onto his issues with illyrians#smth smth its Really Weird that when describing his childhood they bring up his step mother specifically#when everything points to her likely not making any of the actual major decisions about his childhood#like resenting her makes sense dont get me wrong but azriels father not beinf their first thought in that scenario says smth#smth smth azriel projects his stepmother onto all illyrian women barring like a couple#and it has led to him resenting them and doing nothing to stop the system that hurt his mother#while also reviling the men for that exact system#and he cant really stop doing this without ultimately engaging with the fact that hes a bystander to their struggles despite his power#and therefore not much better then the men if at all#also his mommy issues manifest as him being really weird about the women hes attracted to#he projects the same vulnerability of his mother onto every women weve seen him be attracted to#and it results in him trying to stop them from doing reckless shit he doesnt stop others from doing#like ppl reduce his weirdness around elain as him being weird about her specifically but hes like that in acomaf towards mor too#which makes absolutely no sense because Mor has been Actively A Warrior the same amount of time#basically what im saying is this man needs therapy and also to be as far from every woman and illyrian possible#i do like cazriel but its specifically because its like. toxic x toxic#like okay cw for stealthing in the tags (insane sentence ik)#and the general lack of consent implied#there is a reason ive written like cazriel mpreg where they both keep poking condoms but dont tell each other#(i am aware that sentence is insane)#and its because i dont think either of these men are as they are currently capable of being normal#and are both specifically the way they are because they fear being abandoned in some way#cassian acts the way he does towards rhys because he fears some level of abandonment#azriel refuses to properly express his feelings in any romantic context because he fears abandonment#like im not gonna rawdog ppl who interpret him pleasantly cause like i see where theyre coming from#the bad just reallly outways the good#also im still mad he called elaine the third#i need him dead for that specifically
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apocalypse
#i really missed drawing in mspaint! this is my first mspaint drawing in a long long time. its also of the most predictable characters ever#but my friend fizz recently asked me why i liked gallus so much in the first place (because i am the only gallus fan.) this made me rewatc#basically every episode he's in so that i could think about like...really why i DO like him. at the time i told avery that its because i#just tend to like grumpy characters (which they said like grumpy bear lol - i do love grumpy bear and am a huge care bears fan. another#good example is susie deltarune or karkat. i really like them both.)#but then why don't i have an obsession with like...short fuse? or gilda? or smolder?#(although i do actually adore gilda and smolder...)#but its probably because gallus gets the most emotional focus out of any young 6 member (excluding maybe yona?) especially in the episode#hearth's warming club. this episode (just his telling of his backstory really) is very heart-wrenching to me. more so now that i really#like him and have created a whole characterization for him outside of the show.#and there are other things...like the fact that he's a boy character in a show that doesn't have an apparent misogynistic culture#or the fact that he's from a different kingdom so he's experiencing equestria for the first time#or the fact that i sometimes...personally feel excluded not from wider society but also my family. so i relate to him. and i wrote these#feelings i have into summerfree! ive been doing it since i was 17! his original iteration was named LYRICAL PROSE...but he's always just#sort of been me trying to express how comforted i feel by my little pony. my old oc tickle (and my current oc daisy chain and my ponysona#milkweed) also do this for me.#its like free therapy :3#gallus#summerfree apple#june 12th 2023#june 13th 2023
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neil and aaron will become friends later thank you for coming to my ted talk.
#all for the game#aftg series#neil josten#aftg neil#aaron minyard#neil and aaron are besties fight me#aaron and neil would bicker all the time but doing it while playing video games together#andrew trusting neil to protect aaron when andrew is not around SO GOOD#neil and aaron slowly realizing they have a lot in common (don’t start me on this) and getting closer because of it#i love them a lot actually#neil still thinks aaron is the ugly twin#andrew and aaron being grateful that neil made them go to therapy together#aaron seeing that neil is good for andrew and would rather die than hurt andrew#andrew pretends he’s annoyed by their friendship#but he’s actually glad teo the most important people in his life are building a friendship#their friendship is so important to me#both neil and aaron realizing they are going to be in each others lives forever#andrew minyard#aftg andrew#andreil#neil x andrew#the foxhole court#aftg aaron
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a c in english and a c- in spanish.
yeah.
well, that's not normal for you.
if you say so.
STRANGER THINGS
— 4.01: the hellfire club
#m#gifs#long post#this post is literally too long but u know what. don't care. didn't ask.#anyway. in the hot version of st that lives in my mind where billy survives#we get like. a parallel type of cut scene here. with max in her school mandated counseling session#then billy in his hospital mandated therapy session#and it cuts between them both#max fidgeting with her headphones. billy tearing what's left of his nails apart.#both being unable to sit still.#them both being stubburn and holding every single fucking emotion so deep inside that they know it'll never see the light of day#both their answers mirroring each other even when they're like. fucking miles apart and have barely spoke since everything happened#like they've seen each other. max basically lives at the hospital. but billy's throats fucked. and max isn't really the chatty type#and they honestly don't even know what to say to each other#so max just sits. reads comics. listens to music. and billy just lies there. prays for death. prays to visit the fucking ocean again.#and they don't talk. but they're there for each other and they Get It in the only way they know how#OR. the au where neil was possessed and both him and susan die#billy and max having to go to see the councelor. fuckin family counseling sessions. or seperate i guess#is billy still in school? i dont actually understand american ages and schooling it has to be said#but like. councelor kelley just being like. wow. they sure are siblings.#okay but if he's not in school then like. court mandated therapy sessions for legal guadian custody of max idk#i just think i would like to see the parallels that couldve been. but like.#sadie sink i owe you my life for making season four have some good scenes and i would die for u#maxmayfieldedit#max mayfield#anyway again this is not the scene i set out to gif. just made like 30 gifs of a scene i didnt even intend on giffing. fuck me
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Me: So I realized last night I do in fact struggle with social withdrawal and avolition around social interactions, especially initiating them and/or making plans
My therapist: ????? This is news to you??????
#text post#my post#that was only like the first 5 minutes of therapy we were actually focused on way more intense stuff#but it was a hilarious 5 minutes#i'm super great at recognizing symptoms from any of my disorders except schizophrenia#all schizophrenia symptoms have to be pointed out to me two dozen times before i start to notice them on my own#anyway. fixing my social withdrawal is so far down on my list of priorities it doesn't really matter#esp bc as i get healthier it'll adjust on its own#but it was funny both to notice that and to notice i'd never noticed before
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...
#me @ my youngest sister at 6.30 this morning: yooooooo can u draw me a fishy so i can get it tattooed on me?#i drew her some flowers so i want a paralell tattoo with her initials bc she has my initials on her#but i literally have not spoken to her since like may bc i do not talk to my sisters unless we r in the same room. no hate we just dont hav#a lot in common. it makes me a lil sad tho bc im curious abt them. my youngest sister is at least nice to me 😭#ive been thinking abt asking her for ages and last night i was asked abt my sisters so i was like. the time is now#while im still a bit elevated#which has been to my advantage bc i was able to stay v chatty and energetic while talking to ppl. and i think i made some friends#we bonded over fic reading. so theyre a bit. ya kno. girls gays and theys of science#we make the world go round. but its so interesting to hear them talk abt coming to school here bc they both liked where they were and r#leaving their support systems. and im like bruh if i didn't leave the southwest i was gonna die. im so happy to b here#support system? whats that. i talk to my parents once a month and that's it lol. but im gonna try to establish one here#and try to actually make actual friends. this school is way better abt making grad students interact#my last school was not at all like that. but anyway i had fun#and i mean im only at the start of the semester. and im in a good mood. and i kno things will get stressful#but im just really happy i got accepted here#and the longer im here the more clearly i can see how much i was suffering#the funny thing is tho that i wrote this last night and only hours later i was squirming in frustration bc the fact that im back in therapy#means i feel a greater obligation to not b actively self destructive. evil coping mechanisms my beloved#this is y my mum wanted me back in therapy bc im a goodie 2 shoes and when my counselor is like: did u do X the next time i see her. ill b#honest and itll b annoying >:-[ ugh#its just hard for me to b around ppl a lot bc i get stuck in mental loops bc ocd. which is exhausting. and i want it to stop#and i want to do bad things to make it stop but i wont bc im trying to b better#its just funny to me that ill go from everythings awful to everythings great i shoukd talk to my sisters and make friends and do this and#this and this. to oh god i cant do this anymore in such short time frames with certainty that how im feeling is how ive always felt#ive also noticed that my peaks of high energy do come before stressful events. which does make me worry for future stressful events. like#defending. i mean ive never gone fully off the tracks but its a lil alarming when it feels like the train is going at a million miles an hr#unrelated#meanwhile my other sister is apparently in Colorado but when i saw the pics is was like: YOU BITCH#R U CLOSE TO ME RN??? but no. Colorado is far away
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:')
#personal#thinking abt the end of my last relationship with all the lies and the stringing me along#funfact. we broke up in 2020 but it wasnt until 2021 that i actually stopped talking to them. in january#bcus stupid naive me thought we could still be friends after they cheated on me#bcus!! when we were dating we always said that if we broke up we'd still be friends#anyways i had my 3rd suicide attempt then and its obviously not their fault#we'd been together for five years. they were interested in me when i was 16 and they were 19#but i said to wait until i was 17 bcus 16 and 19 sounded bad#my current partner thinks i mightve been groomed but i dont think so#anyways dont feel too bad for me#i had so many unchecked mental illnesses (like bpd) that i treated them horribly#i feel so guilty abt what i did to them#but therapy has helped me see that we both kinda sucked#im working on not taking responsibility for every part of the relationship and focusing on my own mess ups#anyways i just needed to get that out of my system#sorry 4 typos lol
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Yandere x Yandere is an underused trope imho (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Yanderapy#Surprise surprise! They're both yanderes lol#That was actually the main element of the accidentally-combined-ideas - one of them was supposed to be not-yandere in one of them#Buuut I do stand by that yandere/yandere couples are underutilized for comedic and dramatic purposes and I'm only too happy to do it myself#In this case it's more on the comedic side because they're rather yandere-Lite™ - neither of them are interested in Hurting the other#Being weird and all up in each other's business and a little toxic and thinking about each other a lot? Yes lol#But also part of the comedy is that Because they're so into each other there's not really any need to escalate to violence#They just like each other too much!#And also Mitsuru was in therapy enough to pick up on some red flags of his own to curb so when he sees them in the wild he has workarounds#Ishida is pressing a boundary (and he knows it) to see if he can get Mitsu to agree to isolate himself#The thing with Mitsu is he's also a little dumb and innocent ♪ He's slow to pick up social cues and process new information#So he sees the behaviour (using negative-talk as a way to isolate) and instead falls back on his established skill (setting boundaries)#Without recognizing that Ishida meant anything malicious by it or that the response he was trying to illicit failed lol#He's a bit lovestruck as well so of course he's going to assume the best! Ishida also thinks it's cute so he knocks it off after a while lol#If I ever do go into drama with these two it's going to be interesting >:3c I do have some ideas just In General but them specifically hmmm#For now I'm happy to have them just be a silly comedic duo tho haha
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having a brief emotional breakdown over phil ochs and antonin artaud and the ways the pathologization of what we call madness and the failures of capitalism doomed these men yeah the writing process is clearly going well
#most of this emotionality can be blamed on being on my period but van gogh the man suicided by society is a text that continues to haunt#me and like. as much as i am very proud of my research and am compelled to dedicate hundreds of hours of labor to exploring these#topics i just. sometimes the heaviness of my work really gets to me. which is hard to explain to my committee and hard to actually#acknowledge in my chapters themselves#thinking a lot about desiring production (in the D&G way) and foucault's madness and civilization and brecht and artaud being two sides of#the same coin and the fact that phil and artaud were both extremely haunted individuals but their attempts to explode their way out of what#haunted them failed and the fact that during his final performance of all time phil wore the hat that bob dylan wears on the cover of#desire and the artaud quote from van gogh that states 'no one has ever written or painted sculpted modeled built invented except to get out#of hell'#anyways!#*~more to talk about in therapy~*
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*is rereading the Four Swords Adventures Manga again to refresh self after replaying Pocket Mirror (RPG Maker Game)*
*Almost drops coffee* Oh holy Hylia. Enjel and Shadow could talk.
Created by the person who's basically the main antagonist? Check.
Fifth secret part out of a protagonist split into four? Check.
Is forced to follow after the protagonist in shadow/reflection like fashion and hates every second of it to the point they're willing to lie and manipulate to take their place? Check.
Wants that specifically because they're jealous and never were love or wanted in their life, so they desperately want someone, anyone to look at them like they're worth something, no matter what they have to do for it desperately craving the love they've seen someone else get even if it's not real because they've just taken over/are pretending to be that person? Check.
Dies tragically due to shattering? Sometimes only getting the care they've wanted through that death after being swayed into not fulfilling their original purpose and returning to the protagonist? Triple check.
That or it's the sleep deprivation making me see parallels between two artificial beings created from the shadow of the protagonist and has a strong association with mirrors.
... Now I want a Zelda/Linked Universe Pocket Mirror Au, with Four/Four Swords Link as the protagonist (or Green as the protag) and Shadow in Enjel's role, or maybe Lisette's (though I feel Blue or Vio would be better for Lisette), Vaati can be the Pumpkin King he's dramatic enough for it, though I dunno which colors would best fit Fleta and Harpae. Maybe Link's Father or Dot made the deal this run around? I can absolutely see Shadow describing Four as "Mr.Goody Two Shoes" through a mirror, or any of the endings being played out by them.
#linked universe au#kinda?#lu four#lu shadow#Pocket Mirror Au#listen#I just think Shadow and Enjel should get to go to therapy#where they both cynically bond over being created by someone wishing the protagonist ill but being brought over to their side#through someone actually caring for them#G------ and Four can bond over mirror trauma with Twilight in the back#I can also see Shadow in Lisette's role really easily though frankly him and Vio are both extra and feral enough for it lol#Four Swords Adventures Link/Four from LU 🤝 G----- from Pocket Mirror having a story with themes of self acceptance#through learning to coexist with the different aspects of their personhood and to accept even an aspect not fully theirs#I could go on but I'm sleep deprived and need to do some actual writing lol#plus I doubt anyone would like to listen to me overanalyzing Four or Shadow for hours the essay is literally hours long
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